#year of creative habits
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halfway through my 20s, i’ve definitely picked up this pattern where i will every so often have a “baseball bat year” in which i realize i’ve stagnated and very suddenly and determinedly decide to change major parts of my life for the better, then i reap the rewards of that hard work for 2-3 years, and then it’s baseball bat year again because there’s always more and i want it all. it’s called baseball bat year bc i just eventually realize that i need to be bonked really hard with a baseball bat and get things moving again
#in 2022 i decided to lose weight and get a breast reduction and learn how to cook#which i did#i also wanted to get a better job#also did that#and fix my spending habits#did it#and get back to writing creatively#yep that too#and move into a better apartment#sitting in it rn#but about halfway through this year i realized hey! i am feeling bored and complacent!#(while still very proud)#i think im bisexual and i want to go to grad school!#wonder what 2026 will look like…
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the thing is I absolutely never write anything in order, not even things that are short enough to not have chapters, and I have no idea how people write long fanfic and post parts of it before it’s all done. like how do you force yourself to write sequentially. what if you changed your mind on smth later on but you can’t go back and add in the proper lead up and/or foreshadowing. I need that whole thang done and in front of me before I could ever even THINK about posting any of it
#for context my undergraduate degree is in creative writing. I PROMISE I have tried to break myself of this habit#for years. lmao
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a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)
#self#mori kei#jfashion#NOT really but like.. it's.. adjacent I guess.. forgive me .. I may try using tags again though I kind of got out of the habit ghhj#I need to be... Seen to some degree. I want to start selling clothes and sculptures again to recoup the costs of having to euthanize my cat#and stuff . but that won't be very successful if I have like.. 15 people to sell to lol...#the eternal Hermit Conflict where you hate attention and Being Percieved in general yet in todays capitalist society it is nearly#a necessity to have some form of social network or media presence especially in creative fields. etc. etc. ... kicking screaming wailing#sobbing so on and so forth.. tearfully punching the cold mossy stone walls of my evil wizard tower...#I was also thinking of maybe opening a few sculpture commission slots and maybe Tumblr Blazing that post or something#but.. again.... sobbing crying interacting with the general public oughhf ouuch -500 HP#why can't I just be approached by some wealthy 65 year old woman who is nonsensically infatuated with my art for no#reason and gives me like $10.000 a week for food and art supplies and etc. and I can go fuck off into a cabin in the middle of nowhere#in the uk and just be left alone to work on my projects without even needing to build any form of connections or social presence because I'#already set for life and can just get funding and connections whenever lol.. WHICH not to be ungrateful like obviously I still appreciate#anyone who follows and interacts with my posts. I dont mean it in a 'grrr fuck all of you imbeciles I wish I could delete my blog!!!' or#whatever hhjkjk.. I just mean it more in a like.. I am very socially inept and my mental illness gives me severe social issues so any situ#tion where I'm expected to self promote or network or interact with others generally is nightmarish and stressful for many many reasons#and if I could somehow skip that part and just go straight to being a famous author or somethin.. that would be cool. Which I know EVERYONE#hates networking and stuff but I mean like.. on a level most people could not possibly comprehend.. I am not just an 'introvert'. I am like#doctors declare me incapable of functioning in general society very poor mental health prognosis probably should have a caretaker at#some point type Hermit lol.. ANYWAY ghbhj... alas.. I also feel weird about the sculptures in terms of what to charge for them#and always have which is part of why I stopped selling them. If I charged a fair even like $15 an hour many of them would be like#close to $150+. and nobody is going to pay that for a decoration. that doesn't even factor in like.. supplies or time spent communicating/s#etching the concept (if a commission) etc. etc. I thought it'd be better to just auction them then and let people pay what they want inst#d of a set price but etsy doesnt allow auctions and is it weird to just.. link people to an Art Ebay or something lol..#AAAANYWAY.. the outfit.. I still love these shoes. they're nice and a little Older Style looking. always into pastel florals too lol#(everything is thrifted as usual. excited about the shirt because it's so puffy! it was in the halloween section though ghjhj.. like when i#s october and they make the special aisle in goodwill for 'Costume' clothes even though theyre all just normal stuff I would wear ghg)
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#this is more than a joke btw#I had the whole thing in my head but creative writing in English is out of the question#hitchcock presents twittering birds never fly#in which yashiro is a yakuza and doumeki is a policeman who just made into the organized crime division#but doumeki has secrets#his father has gone missing years ago#yashiro has a habit to seduce detectives to keep them on his side and to get information#and doumeki is just his type#but Doumeki seems too cautious and reserved#yashiro needs an estimate of a rare birds and that’s why he is at a pet shop at the same time#as doumeki who wants to buy a couple of lovebirds for his sister’s birthday#follow yashiro be the one to deliver the birds to Doumeki’s family house#or my excuse to imagine yashiro and aoi talking a lot more#and yashiro meeting doumeki’s mother and facing his own past#while birds are gathering menacingly#where is doumeki’s father? what happened to aoi? did the mother know?
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the worst part about being a pianist is that you can't just...simply take your instrument with you
#friends I am BEREFT#I was incredibly lucky to have my own piano for the last three years of college#and I mean like. someone gave it to me for free#and I also had access to a social network in the area + a pickup truck + my father who is an experienced piano mover and problem solver™#but anyway I could not bring it with me when I left#and even if I could just manifest it here there is nowhere to put it in this house#that's the thing like. you can find pianos pretty cheap on facebook marketplace these days#but moving one is a whole ordeal#and then you have to have somewhere to put a whole piece of furniture#our living room is tiny :(#thinking I could maybe fit a keyboard in my bedroom if I could find one#but it's not the same...#anyway my best hope atm is getting door access to the church I attend#but I have yet to converse with anyone in a position to help me with that#and it's only a short walk which is nice#but still not the same as home piano#ik ik this is a very ''first world problem''#but for most of my life I have been in the habit of playing almost every day#it's stress relieving! it's creative! it was...kind of loadbearing in some ways...#it's a very Jane Austen predicament. where's a secret fiancee to buy and deliver a surprise piano when you need one
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[finn from adventure time voice] i'm me again, feels like its been years
#not to sound lame but i think i'm finally getting better again#life was shitty and sad and boring and i was depressed for a while there#and then it got better#and then it got worse again and ive been sitting at a low point for about a year and a half now#and finally FINALLY i feel like me again#the seasons are changing i have the energy to do things i text my friends and dont get annoyed when they respond#i can write again i feel creative i want to clean and eat and actually go outside#i feel better than i have in months and i know its not gonna last forever#so im forcing myself to create habits and routines that i know i can follow now#so that theyre easier to follow when i eventually fall back down as i know i will#ive done it before i can fucking do it again!!!!#getting better is a process and i am going to continue to fight tooth and nail until i get there again#🧇💬
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Just a note to say thanks for bearing with me. ♡
#this has turned into more of a hiatus than i expected#i've not been putting pressure on myself to be here#so i've just been peeking occasionally#on the other side of the screen things have been a mix of good and bad#i've been settling into my new job#throwing myself into renovations#doing all the prep for christmas#attending my pottery class#minding my neighbour's cat while she's away#trying to get into the habit of using my art tablet#( when i git gud i'll share something and maybe start drawing our blorbos )#also just trying to be more ' present ' in the everyday#tw for medical and terminal illness but my uncle was recently diagnosed with multiple system atrophy#we thought it was parkinson's ( which is what took his father ) but it's actually so much worse than that#he was an avid cyclist just a few years ago and working as an aerospace engineer#now he's in a wheelchair and recently broke his hip for the third time#there's not much i can do but i want to be there for my family as much as i can#so thank you for your patience#rest assured i adore writing and roleplay is a very important part of my life#it is my main creative outlet and i value the friendships that spring from it#i hope to get the wheels turning again in the next couple of weeks#i'll be spring-cleaning behind the scenes#you are always welcome to reach out if you want to check the status of anything but just be aware i'll be slower than usual to reply#i hope life has been treating you all kindly – sending you my love ♡#◈ — ooc; saddest little baby in the room
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I started writing again recently and I’m going to add that back as a part of my personality
#writers on tumblr#buzzing#I was such a huge writer for most of my life#like ages 9 to 18. I stopped when I started college bc I couldn’t find the time/inspiration#but I have so many emotions right now and I’m drowning in free time and I need a creative outlet#I wanted to pick up something like painting or drawing or other art#and I tried so so so hard over the years#but I couldn’t make a habit out of painting/art. it didn’t feel as rewarding as I liked and I still had no inspiration#I tried to learn a new cheaper instrument#I played flute throughout middle and high school and I honestly really miss it#but I rented my flute from the school. because a real flute is#and it’s hard to justify buying a new one. plus I’ve fucked my lungs up now so I probably wouldn’t be able to play that well anyway#and I tried to learn guitar and bass guitar. and guitar was fun but it was my roommates guitar and I moved away :(#but whatever#writing was an escape for me during a really hard time in my life#and now that I’m in a really good time in my life. it feels weird to revisit an old coping mechanism as a hobby now#but I am so so so afraid of the political situation right now#so back to writing we goooo
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Finishing up the yearly studio clean up and have been spending some time organizing photos from the last year. It’s fun to look back on all the work I completed in 2023. A lot of mistakes but also a lot of good creative work as well. I was taking note of the works that stood out to me as I scrolled through my photos and realized most of the pieces I really liked were all custom orders. Creating something based on someone else’s color preferences is a nice way to shake things up creatively. Even though I try to be broad with my color-ways and patterns, I do tend to work in palettes I personally gravitate to. Something I’ve been thinking about for this year is trying to push myself to think outside my norms in terms of color combinations. I’d love to maybe try reworking some older designs in a new color. It’s hard to think outside of your own personal preferences!
#baltimore#design#jewelry artist#art#artist#polymer clay#studio#charm city#shop handmade#productivity#creative habits#new experiences#new year 2024#earring design#pattern design#pantone color of the year#color theory#color palette
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youtube
Why isn't this longer???
#alison mosshart#jamie hince#the kills#good to know i'm listening the same as Alison for months and we have the same habits when it comes to listening to albums lol#even the fact she started writing songs on toy keyboards i do this since years#i also used the same font on a design for a music project in february which they started to use lately on the new album cover it's insane#why my creative brain functions exactly like hers without me knowing??? infp high five#Youtube
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 243
Adjective: Eminent
Noun: Sickness
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Eminent: (of a person) famous and respected within a particular sphere or profession; used to emphasize the presence of a positive quality
Sickness: the state of being ill; a particular type of illness or disease; the feeling or fact of being affected with nausea or vomiting
#work stuff is still stressful (if not more so)#every day i continue to be taken advantage of and am excluded is a step closer and closer to me actually fucking quitting#but watching orphan black with my girlfriend is keeping me mostly okay#orphan black is a major comfort show of mine#(this is around my 7th or 8th time watching it and ive made somewhat a habit of rewatching it once a year)#(and this is my girlfriends first time watching so its extra exciting to see her reactions to things)#anyway i know this prompt is a little odd or might seem like it shouldnt or cant work#however the way im interpreting it is making it not only work but its also making it thought-provoking#i really just see this as a 'sickness' thats popular#either in that a lot of people have contracted it or in that people want to contract it for fame/clout#its interesting to me either way#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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man i basically haven't drawn or written anything since like. october.
#in my defence i've been busy but surely not THAT busy#i need to actually commit to making time for my creative hobbies#otherwise i'm gonna stagnate and backslide#like. drawing STILL hasn't gone back to feeling as natural as it used to after i stopped doing it for like a year or two there#but i'd made a bit of progress on getting the magic back and i don't wanna lose it all again#and obviously there isn't any 'magic' it only ever came from hard work and commitment and making drawing a regular habit#it takes a lot of effort to get to the point where things feel effortless!
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Sometimes you just need to get out. See something new. Maybe, in my case, drive veeeeery slowly down old roads in older neighbourhoods to enjoy the scenery, the century trees, the older build styles... the very modern take on the older build styles... the people who don't care about fitting in with the architectural style of the neighbourhood.... And then sometimes you find something like this
More than anything else, I have to ask: what is that roof line
(There is a greater than 0 chance I'm going to try and build this in the Sims at least. Although... I don't know if even the Sims will let me replicate that roof line in the middle there)
#there's another couple places on this same road that I desperately want to make grabby hands at#both because I just. want to clean them up. reroof them. make them habitable#but also I just have so many questions about the layouts and I want to see inside#there's an old log cabin that looks like no one has lived there in years that apparently is 4 bedroom 3 bath and is worth approx $1.5M???#real estate in the GTA is insane and my options are either become obsessed (creatively)#or become obsessed (as a house buyer who has been priced out of every neighbourhood within two hours of the city and wants to rage about it#meco versus architecture#god I wish I could fix you#....that's going to be the tag for all of these sorts of posts I think#sunset beach
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zzzzzz
#soooo tired.. today was a lot of fun (outdoor boulderiny yayy) but also a LOT I was out literally 9-5. full work day#did some cool stuff tho.... harder stuff than i thought i was capable of n got the beta on a couple challenges that no one else did#actually got one that the instructor hadnt managed to do before which made me feel B-)#i just love problem solving routes like ik my technical knowledge is sometimes lacking but i have a good innate sense for it#i couldnt explain how i figure out how to do smth but the creativity of it is mmmmmm. i rly miss being artistically creative like i havent#really done much for a while but i guess climbing is currently a bit of an outlet for that for me like its a similar kind of stimulation#and i like coming up w beta n then watching someone else use the same. nothing better than a team send#might look into some low level instructor quals next year. or taking courses bc id love to know more technical shit#or at least be able to name technique i instinctively use so i can describe things better#anyway think my roommate might be annoyed at me but idk its probably nothing to do with me. been finding it so hard to read her lately#but might just be projecting. ive felt lonely lately so maybe im imagining distance between myself + others that others dont rly perceive#bc ik i have a habit of that sometimes. i dont knooow. but thats ok. we're all just trying to get by#and maybe ill have my needs met someday and be able to express myself and ill stop feeling so alone in tha world....#anywayyyy gotta shower and then ill watch smth...... feels so much later than it is im so sleepyyy#.diaries
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My English teacher asked me ‘do you think the antoganist can be a hero’ and I don’t think she was prepared for the ESSAY (like two paragraphs) I wrote
#I’ve been told by multiple teachers throughout my life that I am ‘too wordy’#and I only picked up the habit of talking a lot because of one English teacher who didn’t actually grade her papers#she just glanced through them and my super long responses would get me 100s every time#so I just write long responses by habit#I like writing#this is my only excuse#we had to write boasts#so I wrote a giant thing about writing fanfiction#and my teacher gives it back to me with a note ‘great! I’ll use this as an example’#so ya know#next year a bunch of kids are going to have to read my page and a half about crushing the souls of fans everywhere#I hope we get more creative writing assignments#i got distracted#so yeah we’re talking about hero’s and villains or smth#I really like villain characters#and especially morally questionable characters#my favorite kinda character isn’t bad but they’re DEFINITELY not good#Dazai. im talking about Dazai
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Ask A Genius 982: The Reality of the Shroud of Turin
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: Okay, well, I grew up in a town with a cemetery right in the middle. Rick Rosner: You grew up in a town with a cemetery. I didn’t grow up with a cemetery in the center of town, but I lived about a block and a half from a huge one. One of my best friends in high school lived two blocks from another cemetery in town. I used to walk our dog Mitzi, the poodle, in the cemetery.…
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#awakening during senior year#Cemetery memories and reflections#childhood near a cemetery#creative yet unproductive childhood#grandpa&039;s lecture with Teller#high school and girlfriend struggles#lazy teenage habits described#walking dogs in cemeteries
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