#and now that I’m in a really good time in my life. it feels weird to revisit an old coping mechanism as a hobby now
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thanosscross · 12 hours ago
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Hello hello!! Welcome to my little meet your writer section!! 🫶🫶 I’m so excited you’re here! Welcome!
I felt like with you all being my lovelies and being so kind and amazing, you might want to get to know the writer behind some of your favorite stories of mine! 🫶💕☺️ please keep in mind this is a judgement free page, where none of it will be tolerated, unless we’re judging the man who shall not be named 🙄 so welcome! Get to know me here 🫶🫶
Hi! I’m currently 19 turning 20 this February 5th! 🫶 which I’m very excited about,
I go by she/they, really anything you’d like to call me! I’m somewhat the middle child, I have an older brother and two younger brothers, so I’m the only daughter/niece/granddaughter on my dad’s side (my dad’s only child). I grew up with somewhat of a rocky childhood so I’ve always got a soft spot for kids, I’ve become the ‘Mary Poppins’ of my family rather quickly so I’ve always got a kid on my hip, whether its my cousin, youngest brother (5&6), or my fiancée’s niece (5).
I’ve been engaged for almost a year now, I met my fiancee working at a local grocery store, She came through my check-out line, before applying a few weeks later. I ended up being the person to train her for the job position, and ever since then we hit it off, We were both in pretty toxic relationships before, so whenever we got together it was a little weird, but we quickly found a healthy groove together, and it's just been happy times ever since <3 A lot of people say it's too soon, or we're too young, but we prefer it this way, it gets all of the big stressful stuff out of the way, that way we'll have more time to focus on each other and building our family in the future <3. I was always taught that whenever you find the person you know is not only a good relationship partner but also a good business partner, you've found the one, and nothing is too fast, and I know I found my perfect partner in life <33.
I like writing a lot, I’ve been writing since I was about, 9 or 10? So almost full decade now, holy shit, I started out on wattpad, moved to writing on paper, and then eventually moved to tumblr around the time I turned 14? I like to call myself a 'detailed writer', I think of it as a writer who is more focused with writing out physical feelings and emotions. I like my stories to not only be easy to read, but I also like my stories written in a way where you can really picture or imagine the feelings behind the words, I feel like those are the best stories to read, in my opinion <33
I have five animals in total (I know! A lot!) I have three dogs, and two guinea pigs, MooMoo, Charlie, Daisy, Winnie, and Honey Bunz, who are all pain in my asses, but I wouldn't know what to do without all of them <3. For the longest time I wanted to be a lawyer, then it changed to a police officer, all because my original dream of being a firefighter was kinda taken from me whenever I was diagnosed with something that prevents me from safely working in overheated conditions. Now I'm set on writer, or just in the public eye, I don't really mind how, preferably some type of dancer (Competition teams/back-dancer/etc) Or a screen writer, I just want a position in the public eye where I'm actually heard and not just drowned out over the sounds of everybody else (Told you lovelies, rough childhood) I want my words to mean something, I want to be a voice for the people who can't find theirs yet <3
Favorites? Music wise? It's a little all over the place but my top five? (not in order) BigBang, ATEEZ, ENHYPEN, Sir-Mix-Alot, and stray kids <3 Shows? Squid game definitely, or a spin off series of the walking dead that's recently come out, The Walking Dead: The ones who live, I also watch 911, and the Rookie (I really miss being a firefighter when I had the chance). Movies? Really anything horror, I'll always be excited about a new scary movie that comes out, I've been like that since I was itty bitty though >< Jobs? I'd have to say either being a firefighter at only 16-17, or being the Easter Bunny one time at my local mall, those two were the most fun!
My style? I have three different types of styles, I either dress in Baggy Clothes (cargo pants, baggy t-shirts, my black jacket) or tight clothes (undershirts, skinny jeans, a flannel or button up, kept open, to go over it) or a mixture of both 😂 I’ve been mainly sticking with my baggier clothes lately though 🤌💕
Hmmmm...Last get to know me section..What should I put? We'll get a lil personal. I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was around 11 or 12, whenever I had something bad happen to me at 13, it just caused it to become worse, along with other diagnoses. This one is a little more recent, and I'm still a little iffy about sharing it, just because a lot of people give it a bad rep, but I was recently diagnosed Bi-Polar. It wasn't that much of a shock, almost every female in my family has it, and it made a lot of sense for some things I experienced, especially the manic part of it. I've slowly been learning just because I was raised around people who are Bi-Polar who weren't good people, doesn't mean I'm a bad person just because we share the same diagnosis. I go to the doctor, take meds, just like anybody else <3, Some of you lovelies might question why I got so personal on here about it, but for the few that have the same thoughts, know you're not alone, I'm in the same boat with you, so why not us hang out and chill while we're here <33
And without further a-do....
Hi! Lovely to see you here lovely <3 this is the face behind some of your favorite stories! 💕🥰 so glad we can finally meet!
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rocco-ko · 1 day ago
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Hualian as the last true romance of our age…
I stopped watching western media at some point. And you know, it wasn’t because of it’s gradually decreasing quality over the past few years, no. It’s because of the creators trying so hard to make everything seem too „smartassISh” and too realistic. I overheard once that the romance is dead in Hollywood, and it’s surely true.
I’m going to share my probably controversial opinion, and I just want to let you know that it wasn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings in any way. This is just that little moment to uncover this lowly one’s love for TGCF.
Now let’s get back to… modern love, shall we?
The society turned it into a generic case study a long time ago. You’ve got a relationship problem? Let’s start with the „Toxicity check”. If your bond doesn’t appear to be tOxIc (whatever is that supposed to mean), go get the magic wand called „cOmMuniCAtIoN”. It will surely deal with everything else. But what if the relationships do happen to be tOxIc… (oh no). Well… good luck, babe, because even the heaven official’s blessing won’t ever help you.
Please, don’t get me wrong, I am not here trying to say that we should stop communicating our thoughts and needs with our partners. What I truly believe is that communication won’t give us that desirable connection if there’s no affinity between our souls. Unfortunately, we turned love into a set of tips to follow, a smartass plan. And with a plan to follow comes an effort, a work to do. Just look around and within, everything that we do is work. Do you really want a relationship that leaves you mentally exhausted as well? Loving someone is easy. At least to me…
„ ….That kind of affinity can only come by chance; it can’t be begged for. And whether that bond should live on is three parts fate and seven parts courage!”
How about the „embarrassing” words Xie Lian told little Hong Hong-er all these years ago? „If you don’t know the meaning to your life, then make me that meaning, and use me as the reason to live”. Weird and probably disturbing… but only because I have never read anything like this before! In truth, it is so freaking wonderful! Sometimes people are way too damaged to keep living on their own. XL with his special ability to „read” people grasped this. Rather than relying on empty promises like „eVeRYtHing Is goInG tO be AlRighT”, he gave HC something real and powerful. In a world where everyone keeps telling us to „get up” evetytime we get hurt again and again, to stop playing a victim card… we have a prince telling his little devotee to live for him… „Although brave, it’s foolish.” “Although foolish, it’s brave.” :)
Just like Hualian relationship.
Idealistic and naive? Yup. Totally obsessed with one another? More than anyone else! Co-dependent? Also yes. So what? I’ve been alone for my whole adult life. Find me somebody to live for, to become a better person for them and to put all of my devotion into worshipping their body and soul! I don’t need the relationships that are hard work. I will set for something way better ��� unconditional acceptance, trust and a lot of fondness. I know a love like this is real. One god and one ghost have already found it.
„The one standing in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you’ and not the state of you.”
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cherry-sofa-729 · 1 day ago
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I need MAWS (Ny Adventures With Superman) to effect everyone’s brain chemistry like it’s effected mine bc. Guys they gave Superman autism. And like not subtly.
Clark’s entire internal conflict is that he feels out of place, weird, and misunderstood. He calls himself weird a lot. And crucially- it’s not that SUPERMAN feels like a weirdo when he’s in costume and saving people, CLARK KENT feels like a weirdo. People remark that there’s something off about him.
His entire childhood of being told to hide his quirks, eventually leading to self-isolation as he feels like he can’t make friends? The fact that his first real friend after getting his powers was Jimmy, a fellow weirdo, who he met in college? “You’ve saved my life 12 times?” I’m screaming I love them so much
And the MELTDOWN. Granted he pushes through it, but the super-hearing and sleep deprivation gets to him so bad he starts being unable to fly and slamming into the ground. This really reminded me of violent stims, like banging your head on the wall. Clark’s really good at holding to together so the fact that what takes him down is NOISE? And people staring at him? (And sleep deprivation yeah but mostly the other two). He’s so autism coded.
The black mercy shows us that even if Clark was raised on Krypton he would STILL be considered a weirdo. This isn’t a “all Kryptonians act like this” situation. Brainiac has no reason to treat Clark poorly right now. Ideally, he’d be making Clark feel so loved and so happy he’d never want to leave. But he doesn’t do that, because he’s an AI and Clark is weird even by Kryptonian standards- Brainiac has no clue how to treat him because he doesn’t have data on a Kryptonian like Clark.
Me and my friend did a count of how many times Clark is called something dehumanizing/someone says something dehumanizing in a derogatory way (so like- freak, weirdo, alien, “earth is for earthlings” etc) and season 1 was around 25 and season 2 was around 45? I think? They’re so mean to my boy
I love MAWS dude
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james-spooky · 4 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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thedvilsinthedetails · 9 months ago
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goodnight tumblr
Fair warning the ramble in the tags is long af
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riot-grrlboy · 7 months ago
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I started writing again recently and I’m going to add that back as a part of my personality
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exopelagic · 5 months ago
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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gregmarriage · 1 month ago
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might be tmi/dark, but kinda have come to the realisation that a lot of my problems, and why i’m like this™️, is because i genuinely thought i’d be dead before now. either bc i have been dealing with major chronic depression, since i was a kid, and the fucked up ideations that come with that. or from having severe medical issues in my early twenties. basically, i just thought i was gonna die, and i’m not and it’s weird to deal with
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pepperpixel · 1 year ago
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Hello! I watched your speedpaints on repeat when I was in middle school (like 6 years ago) and sometimes still go back and watch them for the sake of nostalgia and good music. I just wanted to let you know you’ve touched my life and left a print, thank you 🤍
Thank you. So so much. For sending me this??? The me who made all those youtube videos. Doesn’t exist anymore. Life got harder. In so many new and horrible ways. And that like. Spark to create kinda died. And also I had more important shit to worry about all of a sudden. But. Knowing that it left on impact on someone enough to send me a message. Years after I’ve stopped making them tho. Idk.. that means something.. I appreciate you didn’t forget about me! (/my videos lol. I kno u don’t kno me. My vids and art feel a bit like. An extension of me tho? In a way. But I kno that it’s not a 1:1 thing. My art an videos express thoughts ideas and feelings of mine. But they are not. Me. Just lil slivers of me.. Tiny lil portions from specific moments in time.)
Sometimes it feels like those videos were just a flash in the pan. A brief moment of attention and fame I didn’t grab onto hard enough… and now the moments long gone. but. I didn’t rlly want to grab onto it, I just wanted to make fun videos. And show off my music taste lol. And express. The music videos my brain would create in my head into the real world. And then I got too busy w real life kicking my ass. (Ps. life has now stopped kicking my ass!! It’s gotten better. Just. Not the same as it was before) Maybe I’ll get back into it one day. If I have any new ideas. Once I get stable and know what I’m doing. And get like an iPad or something so I don’t have to wrangle w my laptop lol. But yeah!!! Srry.. I’m rambling a lot.. this message just made me emotional ok! I’m being openly vulnerable in turn hopefully that’s not too weird lol. I’m happy my videos had an impact on your life!! That means. A fucking ton. Like. Words cannot properly express the weird happy feeling that gives me in my heart. Thank you so much!! For real!!! Srry for getting all in depth about my life again this message just!!! Struck an introspective chord w me!!!
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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 9 months ago
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You’d think that with all this bike riding and lifting children off the floor that I’d be even more hungry, but no; I have the appetite of a little tiny bird???? The fuck
I don’t like it
#Maybe the bike riding is jostling my stomach too much… if my stomach is jostled I don’t want to eat#Or it could be the ADHD meds#idfk at this point#like yeah technically I’m hungry and know I need food but I don’t feel like eating. I’d just rather not. It’s weird#because I used to be the opposite: I wasn’t really hungry but I’d just keep eating until I got sick#eating mention#appetite mention#Maybe I’ve just been eating too much all my life.#Because the only two times I’ve had serious nausea or gas pains was after I ate the amount of food I used to eat#And it’s not like I’ve lost any energy; if anything I’ve gained some energy#(not right now because I stayed up until 12:30 AM after riding and walking 9.3 miles total— on my feet all day long)#I used to eat a LOT; like a 6’5” 400 pound lumberjack or something#uh Paul Bunyan type portions… like a big BIG man#of course I’m 5’4” with kind of a slight build so that was always very weird to me that I was able to do that#How I am now makes more sense; but at the same time I don’t like being like this at all#Because I’ll inevitably go from “slight” to “sickly” and I would really like to continue fitting into my pants#because pants are expensive and it’s extremely hard to find ones that are of good quality and feel comfortable#food discussion#food tw#weight mention#Here I am telling the kids “You need to eat! Take a bite!” and then I get home and act like a total fucking hypocrite#Maybe it’s burnout
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harmonizewithechoes · 1 year ago
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#so it’s late and I’m intoxicated and interested in sharing a secret that sober me would prefer I not share#but she needs to be more vulnerable and right now in this time the alcohol helps#just as a precursor- I’m a lightweight so I really haven’t had that much and I’ll be fine in the morning and also#my partner has a weird schedule and once or twice a week we like to have a drink or two and play video games or watch a show together#lately it’s been baldurs gate but tonight it’s coop stardew#anywayyyy~#sober Becca is too shy to say that she’s struggling a lot right now#I’ve been hiding myself away for a LOT of reasons for quite a while now and focusing on being the best mother/partner/homemaker I can be#but this has been detrimental to my friendships and spiritual life#as far as friendships go I feel like since I haven’t had the capability to be a really good friend to anyone since everything happened with#happened with dad*#that I shouldn’t be allowed to have friends at ALL#because if I can’t put 100% effort into my friendships even when I’m struggling I don’t deserve friends at all#but I have 3 very little kids and I’m pouring every last ounce I have into them#so maybe I can kind of have a pass and maybe I can have a friend sometimes?#as a treat?#because I love my family very much but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a person within the family#especially during the holidays I feel like I’m merely playing the role of ‘mother’#idk…#this is rambly and doesn’t make a ton of sense#basically I’m wondering if I’m allowed to be lonely sometimes because being a mom is hard and lonely#or if I have to suck it up and wait until my kids are older to get to be a full person outside of them again#btw- this has nothing to do with them#my kids are my sunshine on the most cloudy day#they are so beautiful and wonderful and I am so happy I get to know them and guide them in life#it truly is a privilege#apparently I’m too long winded lol I just started talking about each of my children and what I adore about them#but it was too many tags and tumblr said no lol#oh well jsyk I’m crying rn because they are my pride and joy and even if I never have another friend again they are so so worth it
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pearlpool · 11 months ago
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more tagsposting because i’m having tweetable thoughts and i can’t tweet rn
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tiredsadpeach · 2 years ago
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I was so obsessed with being a better friend to him that I didn’t realize he wasn’t trying to be a better friend to me
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loveofmylouis · 4 months ago
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nippular · 4 months ago
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#man this isnt the worst i’ve ever felt or the loneliest i’ve ever been or the most scared i’ve been#but this is the loneliest i’ve felt in ten years and everything else has just stacked higher and higher into mountains of shit#and i’ve gotten better at handling it. a lot fucking better. but this is so fucking hard without the support that i intricately weaved and#maintained for the sake of my own fucking survival. but i got too comfortable and#idk im just scared of what comes next. i feel like i’ve burned everything that could’ve been anything and so now I just hope I can find#something new that I hope I fucking won’t destroy. idk i don’t think i’m the one destroying these relationships though. i know i’m#destroying myself and my own life but i dont think the relationships were my fault dude. i’ll go to the fucking moon and back for someone#i care about. i just can’t do that for myself. but i try and i try and i try for the people i love. and it seems like it doesn’t do shit.#i have no control. i dont even need control but i need to be a part of the fucking equation. i can’t just be a punching bag for fucks sake.#but it’s too much the second i’m anything but.#thank fucking goodness for the friends that i can really rely upon…god i just wish there were someone in the right time and place to help me#fuck. ugh whatever man. i just need to fix my shit and live my own life. this isnt the loneliest i’ve ever been and i can’t use friends as#a crutch#okay im done now. dont read this btw im really weird rn and just needed to type
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insanechayne · 6 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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