#yeah that fundamentally changed me and i will never recover

[mxmarsbars]

“i’m so lost.”

[imaginesbymonika]

LOML- loss of my life | Prologue

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Plot: You knew him at a time when he didn't, and now he is looking for you...

Warnings: depiction of violence, angst, mentions of (perhaps) death, angst, fluff at the end (maybe), takes place after TFATWS

Bucky didn't like to think back to the years when he was working for Hydra. No matter how many times people named him a victim, an instrument - it didn't change the fact that he was operating for them. Going on those missions- slaughtering hundreds of people. Innocent fucking civilians. He couldn't possibly look past that. His therapist informed him that this kind of mindset is what's keeping him from fully recovering.

Maybe she was right about that.

Perhaps that was the root of his never-ending nightmares. The ones where he can still smell the blood whenever he wakes up in a cold sweat. Where he stares down at his hands, and for a split second he can catch a glimpse of their blood. Or maybe it is his blood. He lost track of that a long time ago.

A couple of months ago he had read a psychology book where someone argued that memories are primarily silent. And he couldn’t have thrown that book any faster against the closest wall. Because fuck whoever wrote that piece of crap. He’d be happy if for once he couldn’t hear the screaming of his victims, their begging and crying…followed by his metal arm making this eerie sound whenever it crushed someone’s spine into little pieces.

Bucky takes a deep breath. God, how he yearned and wished for silence. But then again, God has abandoned him a while ago.

His dreams only consist of flashbacks. Please, I have children waiting for me at home! Stop, stop, that hurts! Your work is fundamental for mankind! Oh my god, please stop! Make this stop, please! My oldest is 7! Please, don’t forget that you’re still human underneath it all. Bucky’s eyes open and when he sits up he can not stop gasping for air. Please, don’t forget you’re still human underneath it all.

He inspects his worn out features in the mirror. When had he started to dream of her? When did she manage to tiptoe her way into this hellfire of memories? What was her name again?

You slightly flinched when Pierce's hand made contact with The Winter Soldier’s cheek. The sound echoed through the empty corridors of the facility. And her gaze quickly drops to her clipboard. Everybody around her was silent, staring at either the long-haired man or the one in the suit. Pierce looked beyond furious before his eyes fell on you and he cleared his throat:” What are you writing down.”

Fuck. You took a deep breath, and quickly improved your posture:” I am just documenting the bruising, Sir.” The older man hummed and furrowed his eyebrows:” Let me see.” Out of nowhere, he snatched the clipboard out of your hands. You slightly groan at the burning sensation the plastic left on your skin. The entire time, you were able to feel The Winter Soldier's eyes on you. How you loathed this job. But you needed to remind yourself that you didn’t have much of a choice, whether or not you wanted to be there. For almost three years, you were one of the top physicians at NYC’s best hospital. Then one evening, while you were walking back to your car, you got kidnapped. You-

“Bucky?”, Sam’s voice brings him back into the present: “Are you still with me?” There is a playfulness to his voice. One that quickly disappears, once Sam notices the look on his friend’s face. And for a few seconds, the two men just look at one another, before Bucky shakes his head:” Yeah no. I’m fine.”

“You’re gone a lot these days.”

Bucky tilts his head and blinks in perplexity:” What’s that supposed to mean? We have been working on this case together since last week, we-.”

“Mentally, Bucky.”, Sam cuts him off and brings his cup of coffee up to his lips. And he can detect an emotion in Bucky’s eyes that tells him he struck a nerve. There is a heavy silence filling the kitchen before Sam speaks up again, his voice gentle and understanding:” Where are you going?”

[robinainthood]

chatfic gojo lives and goatjo420 pls 🙏

You're an angel for requesting multiple, ily <33

Chatfic excerpt can be found here!

GOJO LIVES BITCH

Concept: It was meant to be a before and after, "came back wrong" kind of deal, inspired in part by this fanart. I only got as far as the prelude, though, when he's stuck in the prison realm (with literally two lines of dialogue post-resurrection, which I suppose I'll include below just for funsies lmao).

Excerpt:

Time is slipping. Counting has grown fruitless when every second is the same one ticking in endless circles, hoping as useless as the world that goes on without him (for days, months, years? For eternity?). Satoru contemplates it for a split second or two, maybe a minute, maybe longer, before resigning himself to this new reality where time is nothing more than a vague memory. He has to remind himself again and again that it still exists, outside this empty expanse for everyone else. Has to hope that he’s left enough of himself behind in his students to compensate for his absence. That this isn’t forever in a moment. It’s useless, this hoping, but all he has left in this wretched place.

And the two (2) lines of dialogue in question:

“How did you…” Satoru brushes the rough skin there. “You did most of the work.” Shoko puffs her cigarette. “Made it easy for me, honestly.”

I don't know if I'll revisit this one, to be honest, only because so many have done it already (and better than me). There are other concepts I'm more eager to explore! Which leads me to...

goatjo420 is online!

Concept: Okay, hear me out lmao. This one's a JJK/Black Mirror crossover, specifically the Striking Vipers episode. If you're unfamiliar, two best friends start playing a VR game together and discover it's extremely realistic and... well, fuckery ensues. Literally and figuratively lmao.

There's a lot of exploring sexuality with your best friend and coming to terms with your almost comical compatibility that's just SO stsg, I had to do it. I will finish this one day, I swear T-T

Also, a fun fact no one asked for: I replaced Striking Vipers with Tekken because I have this dumb headcanon that it's their favorite game (particularly Satoru's). That is all!

Excerpt:

goatjo420 is online! Suguru thumbs the joysticks on his controller with a groan. Bites the inside of his cheek to quiet the screaming urge to send him a request and hopes, against all that is reasonable and grounded in reality, that he’ll decide on a solo game this time. Ding! goatjo420 invited you to play Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection! Suguru lets out a dramatic sigh. The bastard just knows it’s his favorite game, and moreover that he never has time to play it anymore. Not with the kids keeping him busy every hour of the day. It’s late and he’s tired and still seeing red but, fuck, what could one game hurt, anyway? “Screw it.” Suguru taps the receiver on his temple to accept, leaning back into the couch. “What are you doing up this late?” No pretenses. Satoru scoffs. There’s music playing in the background, clipping in and out as he speaks. “Could ask you the same thing. And, what, no hello? Shit, do I mean that little to you?” “Shut up. One round and then I’m going to bed.” Suguru boots up Tekken, and adds: “I’m still pissed at you, you know.” “No! Really? Wouldn’t have guessed.” “You know what, fuck you, Sato—” “Hey, hey, don’t go logging off on me now. Look, I’ll make it up to you the next time we meet, alright?” Satoru’s mic cracks with the sound of his shifting, no doubt cozying up against his favorite pillow that costs as much as Suguru’s electricity bill. “Just kick my ass in the meantime, yeah?” And Suguru swears he can hear the smirk in his voice when he coyly adds: “If you can.”

These two have changed me fundamentally, have rewired my brain, have raised the bar for romance to such untouchable heights that I fear I may never recover. :)

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

rewatched 12x5 properly i think for the first time since the finale and wow. the doctors accusations back and forth of stupidity and bad taste, "yeah yeah the hypocrisy we've all seen it" i hear you but today im thinking about that hexagonal mirror ruth looks into at the start of the episode and what happens in 13x3 with their reflections that perhaps doing self-reflection is not the easiest thing in the world in circumstances such as theirs. with stuff in your head that you didnt put there and stuff out your head that you didnt take away and reflections that never match what you think you look like. plagiarising myself here but is every mirror a funny mirror to the doctor?

it's just so striking in this episode. yeah yeah self-insults like always it's fun but. theyre so scared of each other. theyre so scared of what each other's existence means to Their Self. and this sure is a bit more of an extreme case "i should know you or you should know me" but i dont think it's fundamentally a different experience than what theyre feeling in say the day of the doctor. this is a new complication with more grave implications but meeting another self i think must always feel like an existential threat on some level. why are you like that. what does that say about me. if you can never see yourself properly in the mirror, this is the only way you can see what you look like. but that person is never exactly entirely you. it changes.

then lee, what was up with him, right? he scanned as human on the sonic but he had his memories. thinking abt how painful chameleon arching yourself is normally already, i dont really want to imagine how you make it so you keep your memories. or whether you set up a system to recover the memories after, like a more complicated version of the hypnotic trigger like things he gave ruth. "keeping my promise" he says and theres this picture of them. they planned this together. what a sacrifice, right? like what martha did. and if we can assume that vinder was lee in 13x3:

VINDER: If this temporal hazing gets any worse, we'll have to relieve her of command. We can't risk the mission. YASMIN: We're your team. DOCTOR: My team... YASMIN: You talk to her. We'll cover. VINDER: It's all right, boss. We understand the pressure. Final push. We do this, you're clear. DOCTOR: Clear? VINDER: They promised they'll stick to it. Final attack. Retake the chamber, retake the planet, and you'll be free of all this. That's the point, isn't it?

paints a picture, right? all of this episode just painting so many pictures and we dont get to know any of it fully but theres so much Suggested it's like aaaaaaaa

gat is fucking fascinating and i adore her. found myself wishing she'd gotten to take the doctors back to her ship just so we couldve seen the three of them interact some more. does she report directly to tecteun or are there more operatives above her, i bet there are more above her, but who i want to see what she'd have done with them. or with ruth i guess, she would have had no reason to take 13.

like the bechdel test is not a real test but i sort of felt it here like,,oh theyre all women. even the judoon maybe. which is sort of interesting. even the invisible power behind it all! "who are you all ultimately working for?" it's tecteun! this scene is so fucking fascinating, theres such big plot stuff happening and we dont get to understand any of it yet for like another season, another almost two years i think it was in our time. this is like The All Of It, the Biggest Plot, and theres only women. not that you need to get all men out of the way for interesting scenes but. you know what i mean. the scene itself is fucking riveting. we dont get any answers. also gat calls the doctor an abomination to their faces, chefs kiss

i found 13s position as companion really interesting and i think if it were me in charge i'd have had the first half of the scene between ruth and gat filmed sort of from an outsider perspective. instead of putting the camera between them, keeping it behind ruth, to emphasise even more 13s and our position of not understanding what the fuck is going on, and also her powerlessness about it.

and then the last thing im thinking about is jack and the lone cyberman. "dont let it have what it wants At All Costs". "sometimes even i cant win" is right bc 13 was put in a position where either you destroy humanity by giving it what it wants or you destroy humanity by not giving it what it wants. kill humanity to save humanity there really was no winning option.

[wejustvibing]

Hello there I'm relative new to the F1 been watching since 2020 my brother got me into it. He promised me Lewis supremacy FIA Mafia for only him 😭 He lied. I have never cared for sport and 2021 destroyed me, i will never recover that horrible night. Anyway twitter is full of merceds has betrayed Lewis and listened to G, etc. So I want you opinion on this, my brother thinks it's impossible for them to throw lewis away this soon, but it happend to Seb at Ferrari so it will happend, for me it seems impossible but since last year something feels terrible wrong and maybe is just Totto who betrayed him, after all he his prodigy gets the best outcome of "beating" Lewis, but I still think Mercedes would want to keep using Lewis a little longer to praise G. I have seen your asks and at the moment you seem like a neutral person who is calm and can have a more informed opinion about this, do you think toto has wrong Lewis this year listening to the new guy who has never won anything before or is just fandom going nuts over a long time coming hate towards G.

For me,now it's that it just took time for people to see him for what he is. For me the moment he went to hit Valterri went he was "trying" to prove himself to Totto that's for me is who he is. (Another dirty driver as Max) Lewis is older now and clever and I believe that even if G turns worst that Nico, Lewis will handle things destroying him in a way that he didn't do NR because that shit was in another level because after all it was the betray of his childhood friend, Lewis seems so chill about G is like he is not even there to begging with.

I don't want to believe Mercedes actually did this wrong to his fucking best guy but Totto is not giving me any good vibes these days.

I hope this is not rude or anything. I just want to know your opinion.

hey! putting the whole thing under the cut because i don't want to be negative or whatever this answer is going to make me sound like. might regret answering but oh what the hell. so yeah, 2021 has changed a lot of things and nothing's the same ever since for me too and i get you.

anyway i have to say the vibes are off and i'm not liking it at all. lewis himself has said they didn't listen to him although we don't know exactly which suggestion. also i don't know if they listened to george over lewis. amid everything toto's waffled in the last few days, one thing that matches with everything that's happening is, there's a fundamental issue that lewis isn't happy with. it could be the same issue he asked to get fixed and they ignored. toto also said it will take time to fix it but a) we don't know how long and b) he didn't necessarily say they're going to fix it?

lewis on the other hand sounded hopeful and despite the shit he's trapped in, he's waiting for a major update they might get after the first 3 races are done, so i'm hoping things might start looking up for him. i'm going to hold onto that and remain calm. because the only fight he can have is with that damn car till then sadly.

and about them pushing him out, it's a real possibility with all the teams so i don't see why this team would be any different. (i'm saying this knowing full well his loyalty, determination to stay and all the long term plans he has for diversity, sustainability, etc. btw) not saying it will happen but if it does, i won't be shocked is all i'm saying.

i've avoided adding to the clusterfuck and doom & gloom fully thus far but i have a feeling something monumental is afoot behind the scenes. he's either making the big shuffle for the preparation of a round two per se or he is leaving or a secret third thing (we'll die a slow and painful death watching him continue to struggle).

but whatever it is that happens, i'm here for him.

maybe this isn't what you expected but this is how i'm feeling the past few days. hope i'm not being rude traumadumping on u

[ubeparfait]

canonically and accurately me and mikey would literally never get together in 99% of the timelines because of incredible mental instability on my end and extreme stubbornness on his i think. i genuinely think that even if it seems like hes into me at all that it cant be real because he cares too much about all his friends and his crazy ass gang and im to overly friendly to everyone and too shit to express anything romantically explicit so mikey wouldnt be able to fucking tell that i like him and im not sure if he'd pursue me otherwise because even if he IS a greedy fuck he is incredibly caring and i feel like to an extent wouldn't want to involve me in gang activity because it IS dangerous and im crazy weak. and in any event that mikey does the shit he did after tenjiku and like. beats ppl up and leaves i would never be able to recover from that shit like genuinely. i hc me and mikey as LONNNGGTIME childhood friends from the sano dojo bcs i WAS actually enrolled in karate as a kid and if someone i was that close to for years and years and straight up fell in love with left me? even if he didnt do a beat up thing and told me his reasoning or whatever? id probably be freaked out forever like seriously. itd be even worse if he left without saying anything. when my ex ghosted me i literally had a months long episode and would constantly stalk him to the point where i found his other accs his instagrams and figured out that he was faking his identity and was literally someone i actually knew and that he was a shit person and that he was lying ab his age anyways and idgaf ab him anymore but considering i was only with the guy for under a MONTH before? yeah if mikey left me id full on BREAK. like id be cutting everyone off in a panic and freaking out all the time and trying to find every trace of him and trying to find him daily but never approach if i saw him because if he looked at me again id probably throw up then cry then beg him to come back then punch him then kill myself. and i think mikeys mindset is just like "its for the better" but doesnt realize how much id love him and need him by my side and that im actually fucking insane a little bit i need to see a. psychiatrist. but anyways itd fundamentally change me if that happens and id probably hate him and love him so much that it tears me apart constantly and then i also like to think that mikey would never be able to stop thinking about me. like "for the better" my ass he's gonna see a random fuck walking around with glasses on and jolt a little bit. he's gonna see every food ive cooked for him and never stop feeling that longing. he'll hear me in every crowd he's in. every bit of warmth he gets feels like my touch. he'd feel fucking deranged over me bcs i need to believe he's as crazy over me as i am over him. i love doomed einmai

[nyerusnova]

Going to toss in my two cents here real quick but I firmly believe: Batman cannot kill, and there cannot be exceptions to that rule, or else the entire ethos falls apart.

Like trust me, Bruce Wayne has personally contemplated killing people multiple times, and has come very close to it before. It is not that he doesn't ever want to kill, but he knows that the Batman cannot kill. Because if he does, then the hope of Gotham is lost, nevermind elsewhere at large. People will have no reason to believe in their heroes, when their heroes decide to play judge, jury, and executioner. Even if we (and diegetically, many characters) know that certain criminals/villains will never change their ways and only want to cause more harm, Batman especially cannot go that far.

Other heroes (most notably Wonder Woman) do fight for more "pragmatic" reasons, and thus will take a life when they deem necessary. But Batman is not one of them. What he's fighting for is not just harm reduction, it's to show people that goodness and justice can prevail. And you might not agree with that ideology, but that's still something important to exemplify -- both in-universe and out.

If he kills, then even ordinary people will have no reason to trust him. Batman goes from a symbol of hope to a yet another symbol of fear for the people of Gotham.

And no, the Joker of all people is not an exception -- he is in fact a major point/reason for the rule. Could maybe other people kill the Joker? Yeah, sure. Narratively boring in most cases, but it would take out the trash. However, of anyone in that universe, it absolutely cannot be Batman. Because that is exactly what the Joker wants: chaos! That's why him being taken out by other people isn't as interesting, because to him his own death is largely meaningless. What the Joker wants is to prove that anyone can be pushed to that edge, including someone as righteous as Batman. If Batman kills him, then the Joker has successfully destroyed the hope of Gotham. He wins. And that's not something Batman can ever take back or recover -- it's game over.

As for Jason: keep in mind that Jason has had chances to kill the Joker himself. But he hasn't, because he wants Bruce -- Batman -- to do it. It presents an interesting quandary, because with this, Jason isn't thinking about the big philosophical picture that Bruce is. (If you want a generous take on him, he is more "pragmatic" about harm reduction. Killing the Joker would save lives, and he wants Bruce to see that. A more realistic take is that it is selfish desire for vengeance as the main driving factor. I won't get into his characterization it now because it's a mess that deserves 10 posts on its own.) At the end of the day, what he really wants for his father to choose him, over his own ideals. And he's not even entirely wrong in wanting that. Fundamentally, that's what makes the conflict between them so interesting. Bruce cannot put his children or loved ones first; he is a hero first, and everything else second. That's the tragedy in being a hero. That bears it's own meta, imo.

In short, Batman's no-kill rule has persisted in comics for decades for a good reason.

I'm actually curious now to find out what the common consensus is so

[tertiaryunit]

me 🤝 lawrence: "this food is the wrong temperature 😒". I salute him. also: kind of a long one: As somebody who also internalized every rule i was taught growing up (i would try to take adults' alcohol away from them and even snatched a bottle from a man's hand and poured it out because Alcohol Is Bad), does Larry ever get time to process all of that? I don't want to say does he ever lighten up, because it was never about deliberately being a hardass, it was about believing what you were told and integrating it into your rules when unable to critically evaluate it. But does he ever go thru a moment of self-reflection where he hates his teenage or childhood self for being so strict and, if so, ever forgive himself? what is that process like for him? -Helix

(I have the opposite problem with alcohol asfdsfg I get you tho)

He does start processing *everything* after the end of the game/story when he's hospitalized for five years: the first is mostly focused about rehab (he loses half of one leg when escaping from the Area 51 bunker at the end in the "good" path), the other four are to elaborate and heal from the abuse.

(He has... A little relapse when he sees his "mood stabilizing augs" are literally blue wiring on his head that combined with the shaved head make him look like Walton. He did the Adam thing of breaking a few mirrors too)

Lawrence realizes multiple times during his service that certain things are not normal. The thing is, he trusts the wrong people (we know who) and they put him thru actual brainwashing (they alter his memories) for good measure. ***

A chapter I am working on is going to be very cathartic on the "forgiving himself" and "going off on the cause of all his pain" part. <:

But yeah his healing process is like a roller coaster: up and downs - even with the augs to stabilize his mood(s). I wanted to convey the idea of meds as one of the "tools" that help you during healing, but aren't the only thing you need as processing trauma is fundamental for recovering.

*** RE: the memory altering/brainwash

Basically what happens when Lawrence starts to question things a little too much. Like realizing he has been abused and that his boss should never have done that. Or that some of his targets' only guilt was to be in a position Walton wanted. Lawrence's the one who's ordered to kill Manderley - not before the latter actually makes him speechless, because he tells him, and I quote: "The MJ12 trained you so well, and yet… You can’t even recognize textbook grooming. Or maybe you chose to ignore it. If the rumors of what your superior does to you are true… I truly pity you”

(After this, if Lawrence and JC are friendly he will go to him for support. If not, he goes straight to Walton and gets brainwashed later... It's a metaphor on how it's useless to confront your abuser, they're never going to change or admit their wrongs. You need to reach out) There's a point in the story (which is optional and only if Larry's headed to the "bad" path) where the final brainwash completely breaks him into becoming Page's perfect weapon: no more questioning orders, complete devotion, etc. Excusing even his own abuse as "I am nothing but a tool, my body and soul belongs to Him. without Him, I am nothing".

[pluckyredhead]

GOD GUYKYLE

I don't know if this is for the meme or not but I will give you my brutally honest opinion anyway which is: they should be banging RIGHT NOW and also constantly. I always loved them as friends/Guy as Kyle's brotherly mentor, but didn't really vibe on them as a romantic pairing until I read GLC, and...y'all. That moment that Kyle dies and Guy becomes a Red Lantern? It changed me on a fundamental level. I have never recovered. And then! When Kyle comes back! And is EQUALLY AS UNHINGED AND DESPERATE TO SAVE GUY AS GUY WAS TO SAVE HIM??? h e l p. The fact that that storyline concludes with Kyle being like "GUARDIANS LET ME DATE A FELLOW LANTERN" and they're like "Of course, sweet baby Torchbearer, our precious angel 😘" and instead of going to see his canon girlfriend he sits around Warriors TOASTING TO HIM AND GUY??? WHAT! WHAT!!!

(Do I need to recap that story on here? Maybe I need to recap that story on here.)

Anyway yeah, the incongruence of pretty boy space messiah Kyle and gleeful asshole bulldog Guy is SO satisfying to me. Opposites attract INDEED. They're also both just such fun characters, it's a great dynamic.

[ayameyumesaki]

In volume 4, Chapter Crime, there are two things that I haven't explained in the commentary so we are going to have a sudden history lesson!

First, Hokuto mentioned about Economic Bubble Burst here.

What is Economic Bubble?

(I'm not someone who understands economy well so if someone wants to add or point out something from my explanation, please comment it and I will revise it :D)

According to Wikipedia:

A period where the current asset prices greatly exceed their intrinsic valuation, being the valuation that the underlying long-term fundamentals justify. In easier words, "a situation where one sells a product or asset with price higher than how it should be".

In Japan itself, it was the real estate and stock market prices that inflated. Do you know why? Because money has a high value and it barely had an effect. The stocks too. I remembered my teacher told me that during this economic bubble period, someone built a road and didn't finish it because he didn't know for what he should use too much money for, so that's why the price of real estate and stocks inflated so high.

This economic bubble occured from 1982 to 1991, and in early 1992, it burst and Japan went through economic decline until after world economic crisis in 1998 and from after that, Japan underwent Lost Decade--a decade where Japan's economy went stagnant. This happened until 2017 and since then increased little-by-little.

One thing that doesn't change was indeed the land price. And during Lost Decade, many people lost their job due to economic stagnant. Japan was once a rising country when it comes to economy, recovering fast after its fall during WWII, but after that economic bubble burst, their economy never really recovered to its prime time.

That's why they talked about how the price of the land skyrocketed and having a grave probably is better than a house since if there is someone who can continue to take care the grave, it will stay for a long time lol

Next, Subaru told Hokuto that he is going to draw at Yasukuni Shrine.

What is Yasukuni Shrine?

Yasukuni Shrine is a shrine built in Chiyoda, Tokyo under Emperor Meiji's order in 1869 to commemorate those who died in service to Japan from Boshin War (the war that change the era from Edo Period -> Meiji Period). The shrine's purpose was to enshrine those who died in wars from Meiji, Taisho and Showa era.

Not only war victims, the name of the soldiers from Korea and China who served under Japan during wars, and also the A-Class War Criminals, all of them were enshrined in this shrine. That's why if a politician visited this shrine, people (mostly from China and Korea) would be enraged and thought of them supporting their predecessors' actions. The Emperor Showa himself never visited this shrine from 1975 due to the enshrinement of A-Class war criminals.

Anyways, of course you can visit this shrine and pray. Or take a walk. But there are already several controversies surrounding people who visited this shrine and one of them is a well-know actor from China. He visited the shrine in 2018 and because the netizen found out about him, people in China hated him for that. I don't know the continuation of this case... Did he return?

That said, if I'm Subaru, I won't choose to draw and come to Yasukuni Shrine. 🤧 Actually, the shrine is pretty but yeah I felt like I'm going to a graveyard just by looking at the building itself.

[bruiscdmouth]

"you should." ben hisses through clenched teeth. he's sick of hunter being so fucking forgiving to a hypothetical situation. he wants to grab him by the neck and tell him to stop. ben's already made up his mind and they both know it'll take something drastic to make him change it. he's stubborn and feels betrayed. it's a lethal combination. ben knows he'll never recover from this. while hunter will move on and have his happy little life. ben stares at him now and the loneliness begins to gnaw at his insides. he knows he'll never find this again. he'll never have someone like hunter by his side. never be able to fill the hole he's going to leave. one that ben's going to rip out of his own chest.

"yeah hunter i get it. i get that you're asking me to change a fundamental desire in my life because of your fuck up." ben nods slowly. he could never be a parent to a kid let alone someone else's. "you can live with your reminder. i don't have to."

when ben was out with an injury, hunter's game suffered. it was like he didn't know how to function without the other. he can only imagine what it's going to be like once he walks out the door to his life. no more late night chats. early mornings. reckless nights at the bar. vacations spent together. all of that, gone, in a blink of an eye. he didn't know if he could do this. he'd have to though, apparently.

"i wouldn't hold it against you if you did." hunter feels defeated. it didn't matter what he said or did. ben's mind was made up. he wanted nothing to do with him anymore and all he could do was accept it. if he didn't...well, hunter would drive himself mad.

"no, no. you still can be. you just don't want to be. get it right, yeah?"

[bitch-for-bo]

Jealousy (Miya Atsumu x chubby reader)

POST TIME SKIP

Bokuto and his childhood best friend have gotten awfully close lately, a little too close for Atsumu's liking. He's mad about how much attention you give to Bokuto after a game, when you confront him about his attitude, things quickly get out of control.

ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Atsumu’d had enough. He’d been watching you shamelessly ogle over and compliment Bokuto for the last five minutes, and you’d failed to notice him or congratulate him once. All he’d gotten so far was a quick kiss along with a ‘good game’ before you’d ran over to Bokuto to hype the hitter up.

He didn’t care that you were just having a light good-natured conversation with your childhood friend. All he could focus on was the way that your bodies were unconsciously tilted towards each other or how Bokuto’s hands were lingering a little too much as he wrapped them around you for a hug.

It wasn’t just today either. All it had been with you for the last week at least, was how awesome and strong Bokuto was. Not to mention how built he was. God, you went to the gym with Bokuto once, and now you wouldn’t stop rambling about how surprisingly ripped the spiker was beneath his jersey.

All it was was,

“Oh my god, did you know that Bokuto can hip thrust almost 600 pounds! God! He could crush me with those thighs!”

Or

“We were goofing off and Bokuto actually picked me up and squatted me!”

All of these things were said in front of the whole MSMBY team, causing Bokuto to puff up with pride, Hinata to marvel at his awesomeness, Sakusa not to care, and Atsumu to go off and seeth to himself.

Of course, you didn’t know the effect that you had on Atsumu. You couldn’t tell that every time you playfully flirted with Bokuto, telling him how handsome and strong he was, that Atsumu was filled with the urge to rip you away and fuck you right in front of the whole team, letting them know just who you belonged to.

You didn’t know this because, while Atsumu was incredible at communicating with his teammates, he was shit at expressing his feelings when it came to you. This led to him bottling up all of his feelings until they became too much for him. At which time he would go and rant to a very jaded and very annoyed Kiyoomi.

“Yeah, but did you see that one hit in the second set Y/N! Wasn’t it awesome!” Bokuto asked excitedly, bouncing back and forth on the pads of his feet as the two of you had a very animated conversation about the game he just played.

“Of course I did Bo! It was so cool!” You exclaimed back, matching his exuberant energy with your own.

You were incredibly proud of your childhood best friend, and you were super thankful that he just happened to be on the same team as your boyfriend. It made it to where you were always able to cheer both of them on without them being on opposite sides of the court. In your eyes, it was a win-win.

“Yeah well, maybe it was ‘cause someone gave you an awesome set,” Atsumu grumbled just loud enough for you and Bokuto to hear as he stood a couple of feet away from you with his arms crossed and a childish scowl on his face.

“Oh, don’t be like that Tsumu. Bo’s spike was fantastic!” You lightly scolded the blonde to which he just made a ‘hmph’ sound before turning and sulking away.

You had no clue why Tsumu got like this when you congratulated Bokuto. It wasn’t like you didn’t congratulate him as well. You always made sure that the blonde was the first and the last to receive cheers from you. So you had no idea why he was being so fussy lately.

As Atsumu walked away Bokuto could practically see the waves of anger radiating off of his back, and he guiltily ignored them. He knew why Atsumu acted like that when Y/N congratulated his spikes. He knew why Atsumu hated the idea of his girlfriend going to the gym and hanging out with one of his teammates.

He knew that the way that he interacted with Y/N made Atsumu angry, but he ashamedly did it regardless.

He couldn’t help it. The two of you had been so close as children, you grew up together, he knew everything about you. He knew your favorite color, all of your fears, your dreams, and when the two of you had decided to attend different high schools and got out of touch it had really hurt him.

That was why he was so happy when he joined the Jackals, that you just happened to be the girlfriend of one of his new teammates. Over the last couple of months, the two of you had re-ignited your old friendship and things were just like old times.

Well, they were just like old times until Bokuto realized that you weren’t the kid he used to know. Your personality was fundamentally the same, but drastically different at the same time.

He remembered back in primary school just how shy and insecure of a girl you were. He remembered defending you against the people who would bully you for your size, and comforting you when you cried about the mean things they would say.

Bokuto had always despised those people that had made you hate yourself. So every chance he got he would try to cheer you up and let you know just how great you really were.

Over the years, that insecure part of you really changed. It changed so much that at first Bokuto wasn’t sure if it was really you. No longer did you walk with your gaze on the floor, covering your body with too-baggy clothing. No longer did you apologize unnecessarily or hold your tongue in conversations.

The moment that he’d seen you with Atsumu, he was completely taken back. You had been wearing a corset top and jeans that perfectly hugged your plush frame as well as a pair of black heels.

You had always been afraid of showing your body like that in the past. You didn’t like the way that your stomach wasn’t flat or the way that your thighs rubbed together and shook when you walked. He’d also never seen you in a pair of heels before, you were always afraid of being taller than the guys seeing as you were already pretty tall without heels on.

Much to Bokuto’s surprise and delight, you finally seemed comfortable in your body, confident even. And for good reason too because, in Bokuto’s opinion, your body had developed into one of the best bodies he’d ever seen. He would discreetly stare at you when you were with the team, his eyes fixating on the way that you jiggled and bounced every time you moved. He couldn’t help but develop a bit of jealousy towards Atsumu. After all, you were the blonde’s and not his, and sometimes, he would let his mind stray and wonder if he’d be in Atsumu’s place if the two of you had never lost touch.

“Anyways,” you said, pulling Bokuto out of his small daydream, “Are you guys gonna go out and celebrate tonight?”

You made sure to ask loud enough to where all of the Jackal’s heard. The players you didn’t speak to much just ignored you, including the captain who muttered something about being way too beat to go clubbing.

Hinata said he was going to go and hang out with Kageyama.

Sakusa said he wanted to go shower and rest.

And Atsumu was still fuming to himself, refusing to acknowledge your question.

“Hmm, I guess not,” Bokuto said, his hair slightly deflating. He was thinking about how it would be fun to go out when his body suddenly reminded him of the hard game that he just played. “To tell the truth Y/N, I’m pretty exhausted. I think I’ll follow Kiyoomi’s lead and just rest up.”

You frowned, yet nodded in understanding. They just played a really strenuous match so you couldn’t blame any of them for not feeling up to going out.

“I get it, make sure you all recover well!” you offered, your bright signature smile coming across your face and managing to increase the atmosphere’s energy a bit.

Bokuto waved as he and Hinata left the gym to head back to the hotel they were staying at for the night, each of them recapping their best plays of the night like feuding children.

You waved back before turning to your boyfriend, your frown returning when you saw that he was still sulking.

Atsumu didn’t even acknowledge you as he walked right past you and stomped out of the gym. Your frown only deepened at your boyfriend’s behavior, was he really opposed to you congratulating his teammates?

“Hey!” you called after Atsumu, trying to jog to catch up to him. “Hey!” you restated, you could tell that he was taking a little longer strides than usual, knowing that your chubby legs wouldn’t be able to keep up unless you shifted from a walk to a jog.

After he still didn’t reply, you decided to hold your tongue until you got to his hotel room, you didn’t want everyone in the building hearing your relationship squabbles and you definitely didn’t want to attract the attention of any paparazzi.

The walk to the hotel was dead silent. Atsumu was making no attempt to talk to you, and you decided that if he didn’t want to talk to you, you didn’t want to talk to him. And even if you did want to talk to him, you’d have to jog as you did it seeing as the asshole was still walking just fast enough to stay two or three strides ahead of you.

Once you made it to the hotel and after a very awkward elevator ride, the two of you arrived at the door to his room. He turned to look at you.

“You’re not planning on staying are you?” He asked coldly, looking down his nose at you as your mouth popped open in surprise.

While Atsumu was normally a great boyfriend, he really knew exactly what to say to hurt you. After a couple of months of dating, you had opened up to him about your past traumas and admitted to him that you used to only feel like a nuisance to people. He’d assured you that you were never a nuisance to him, that he could never grow tired of you. And him saying that made you feel a little bit better about that particular insecurity. So when he said that, your heart dropped.

“Oh,” you said quietly.

As soon as your gaze dropped to the floor, Atsumu knew that he’d really fucked up and guilt automatically began eating at his stomach. He felt incredibly bad and yet his mouth wouldn’t open to apologize.

“ok,” you continued, you could feel yourself wanting to cry but stopped yourself in fear of your tears only fueling Atsumu’s annoyance with you.

No one liked a clingy crybaby, you told yourself as you bit your lip to hold back the emotions.

“I guess I’ll just go back home, maybe I’ll see if Bo wants to go get some food,” you mumbled, turning to leave the setter.

“Of fucking course…” you heard Atsumu muttered under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear.

You turned back around, slightly angry at Atsumu’s attitude. You had tried to be sensible and walk away, giving him space, but if the asshole wanted to talk under his breath at you, you had every right to get angry. If he thought something was wrong he needed to man up and let it out.

“What’d you say?” You asked, your hands starting to fist at your sides.

“You heard me.” Atsumu sneered back, crossing his arms across his chest but not retreating into his hotel room. If anything the actions only caused your frustration to grow. Why the fuck was he being like this? He’s acting like a literal child.

You took a few quick steps towards the blonde, jabbing your finger into his chest as you glared up at him.

“Listen,” you hissed, “I have no fucking clue why you’re acting like this, but it’s not cute and it’s hurting my feelings. I’m not a mind-reader, if you have something bothering you, you have to tell me.”

“What?” Atsumu growled. He couldn’t believe that you really didn’t know what was bothering him. There was no way someone could be that fucking naive.

“You heard me.” you snipped back, your arms coming up to cross your body in a stance mirroring his.

Before you could tell what was happening, Atusmu had grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you inside of his room, the door slamming behind the two of you as he automatically trapped your body against it.

While you were still stunned by the extreme progression of events, Atsumu had unlooped your belt and fastened it around your wrists, securing them firmly behind your back.

“Hey! What the fuck Atsumu!” You seethed, your arms straining against the leather as the position forced your chest out against Atsumu’s.

“You really wanna know what’s bothering me?” he asked, the anger visible on his face.

“Yes!” You exclaimed in frustration, “that’s what I’ve been wanting to know for the last 15 goddamn minutes!”

As soon as you’d finished your sentence, Atsumu’s face got eerily calm. Instead of the scowl that’d been on his face a second ago, there was his usual smirk. A chill ran down your spine.

His hands left their place on your confined wrists to tightly grip your hips, almost hard enough to leave bruises.

“What a dirty mouth for such a pretty little thing.” He drawled, leaning closer to you until you could almost taste the sweat that had dried onto his temples.

“What ar-”

“ Shhh …” he cut you off, one hand coming up to press a finger against your mouth before going back down and curling lightly around your throat. “You wanna know what’s bothering me, Princess?”

His lips were against your jaw, his teeth scraping against the skin as he mumbled.

“Maybe…..” he continued, the hand that was on your hip tracing across your stomach until it came to the button of your jeans. He popped them open, eliciting another protest from you which he silenced with a slightly harder squeeze to your throat.

Your body was betraying you with every touch he left against your skin. You really didn’t want to give him the reactions that he so clearly craved, but you just couldn’t help the way your body responded to him.

“Maybe it’s because you dress like such a little slut at my games…. Are you trying to distract me, Princess?” He asked, his teeth disconnecting from your jaw as he pulled your jeans down and off of your body before reconnecting even rougher than before.

All you’d been wearing to the match was a pair of high waisted denims along with a simple black cropped tank top, you’d have worn one of Atsumu’s jerseys but they were all dirty at the moment. It was a simple outfit, it wasn’t anything to get pissed over, definitely not this pissed.

“No” you mumbled, still not wanting to let Atsumu know that his touch was affecting you as much as it was.

“Or were you trying to distract other guys, Princess? Were ya trying to show off yer pretty body to them like a little whore?”

Atsumu had worked your jeans completely off and was hooking his fingers around the band of your panties, obviously planning to tear them off of you as well.

Atsumu had never called you such mean things before and part of you hated the idea of him trying to tear your confidence down with the terms, but at the same time, there was no denying the terrible effect it was having on your body. You felt yourself getting wetter and wetter at the condescending words of your boyfriend and your resolve was quickly dissipating into the want to obey and submit to him with every fiber of your being.

“N-No!” you stuttered as you squealed at the feeling of Atusumu practically ripping your panties off of your body.

“ Liar.” he spat before taking your soaked panties and stuffing them into your mouth, effectively shutting you up as you moaned around the cloth at the lewd actions.

“You wanted all those guys to stare at yer ass didn’t you?” he asked, punctuating the question with a sharp slap to your ass, making you cry out and fall against his chest as he pulled you into him, one hand gripping your throat still as the other began to roam your plush silhouette.

“Or did you want them looking at your pretty tits?” he continued, taking your tank top between his fingers and pulling it down to expose your heaving chest, discovering that you’d been wearing one of those tops with a built-in bra.

“ A-aa ” you tried to moan out his name around the gag as his graceful setter fingers began to play with your already hard nipples.

“No bra? You really are my little slut aren’t ya? ” One of his hands continued to play with your breasts as the other slowly dragged down your waist, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

You keened against his body as his middle finger roughly slipped across your slit, drawing delicious circles around your clit. The fight in you was almost completely gone. You hadn’t forgiven your asshole boyfriend, it just felt so good to have him pressed up against you like this, touching you, controlling you.

“ Shit... “ he grunted, his finger sliding easily against you due to how incredibly wet you were for him.

His cock was straining against his shorts, but he knew that he didn’t want to give you his cock just yet, he needed to punish you first for how you’d been acting. Acting so naughty, such a little tease. You deserved to be taught a lesson.

“Does watching me play make you horny Princess, do you stand there and imagine getting to sit on my cock?” He asked, his fingers playing with your pussy as he started to walk you into the bathroom, his fingers never leaving your cunt.

“Mhmm.” You moaned in compliance.

Your body was hot with the need for his cock inside of you as the memory of the game played in your head. The way that he moved on the court never failed to soak your panties as you stood and cheered him on in the audience. Every single game you would watch his serves, just thinking about how he was just as powerful off the court as he was on. You couldn’t help but get wet just thinking about the possibility of fucking him after the game.

You thought that, with how Atsumu was acting, you weren’t going to get any victory dick today, turns out that you were obviously wrong. Not only were you getting dick, you were getting it like you’d never gotten it before. You could still feel the anger seeping out of Atsumu as his cruel fingers continued to torture you.

“Well, only good girls get their pussies stuffed.” he breathed against your neck, a pitiful whine leaving your lips as he slowly pushed a finger into your pussy.

“ Are you gonna be a good girl for me? ” He asked, mentally groaning at the way your soft walls clenched around the thick digit.

With the way that your tight wet cunt fluttered around his fingers, he almost forgot why he was mad. It was incredible the way that you could make him forget things like that, the way that you had him wrapped around your cute stubby fingers.

“Mhm!” you nodded frantically. Your hands were still bound and your mouth still gagged, so all you could do to convey your desperate message was moan and rub yourself against Atsumu like a bitch in heat, your hips pathetically trying to fuck yourself down onto his finger.

“What’s that?” he snickered, a second finger pressing into your cunt as the first found your g-spot, stroking up into the spongy texture without mercy.

You cried out, you could feel yourself starting to lose it. Usually, you could last much longer than this, but something about the way that Atsumu was manhandling you this time, made it so much harder to keep cool.

It felt like the setter had taken over all of your senses as he continued to finger fuck you into the wall of the bathroom. One hand was fucking your pussy and massaging your clit while the other was kneading your tits, pinching your nipples. At the same time, his mouth was latched onto your neck, sucking deep bruises into the skin, branding you for his whole team to see.

“That’s right Princess..” he groaned, he could feel you clenching harder around his fingers and he knew that you were getting close. “Imma mark you up so good everyone’s gonna know who you belong to.”

You knew that Atsumu was the jealous, possessive type, but nothing could’ve prepared you for just how extreme the problem was. You still didn’t know what sparked this little tantrum and you had the feeling that you wouldn't be able to pull the reason out of the setter until you let him have his way. Hopefully, you’d be able to walk after.

You could feel your end rising, the familiar feeling of a rubber band in your lower belly getting ready to snap. You threw your head back against the wall, trying to keep yourself from crying with the delicious pressure building up inside of you.

Atsumu must’ve known you were close, he used his free hand to help you rotate your arms over your head, twisting the belt around to allow the movement but not to allow you freedom.

“Hold your cunt open for me baby,” he demanded, guiding your hand down to your pussy and directing your arms to press against your stomach and your fingers to hold yourself open to where he could see his fingers fucking into you.

You were a mess, moaning and drooling around the gag as Atsumu’s gaze focused on the way that you continued to suck him back in with every pump of his wrist. He spat on his other hand before giving your clit a light spank, making you jerk against his hold, all of the air completely leaving your lungs as you clenched around his fingers.

“ Yeah …” he growled, his palm beginning to rub against your clit, the quick wet movements making you start crying with pleasure.

“W-nmnmwn” you begged around the gag, trying to warm Atsumu that you were about to cum. He liked it when you asked permission, so you always did and now your body was conditioned to where you almost couldn’t cum without him saying you could.

“What was that Princess?” he asked smugly, he knew exactly what you were trying to say. He knew that while you were acting like a little whore towards Bokuto lately, he was the one that owned your body, he knew that his baby wouldn’t disobey him and cum without permission.

You continued to beg around the gag, your hips and legs burning with the exertion of searching for your high against his hand. You were getting desperate. You looked up at your boyfriend.

Atsumu almost came at the sight of you looking up at him.

You looked so pretty for him, drool on your chin, tears in your eyes, he swore that before he was done with you, those tears would be running down your face, that he would make you cry and beg for his cock, make you admit that only he could fuck you this good. Not Bokuto, not anyone, just him.

“Do you wanna cum for me, Princess?” He asked.

You nodded.

“Okay then… cum for me Princess …” he demanded, leaning in, pulling down your gag, and taking your lips in a punishing kiss.

You cried out into his mouth, your orgasm finally washing over your body, causing it to spasm and jerk in Atsumu’s grip as he held you to his body, his fingers brutally fucking you through your high.

As soon as you’d stopped shaking, Atsumu slipped his fingers out of you and flipped you around, pressing his cock against your ass as your front was pressed into the bathroom counter. You rested your head down against the mirror, your eyes closing as your body still reeled from your orgasm.

You needed a little breather, but that wasn’t in Atsumu’s plan. His hand came down across your ass, making you squeak and lurch forward, your tits pressing down against the counter and your ass popping up into the air.

“Now come on Princess,” he drawled, pulling his cock out of his pants and thrusting it into you without warning, ripping a cry from your chest, “yer not tired yet are ya? We’re just getting started!”

“Nooo please ‘Tsumu...” you gasped, pushing yourself further into the counter, trying and failing to evade his touch.

His cock was hot and heavy inside of your still spasming pussy. You could feel every vein in him as you continued to pulse around him, he almost felt like his dick was suffocating in your soft puffy walls.

Atsumu groaned as he started to slowly fuck into you. He knew that if he started out going as fast as he’d like to, he’d be finished way too soon for his liking so he decided to slow his hips, his cock languidly dragging against your warm insides.

Atsumu couldn’t help these feelings of jealousy. After all, Bokuto was bigger and stronger than him. Deep down, he knew that the reason he was so bitter about you and the hitter’s friendship was that he was afraid of you leaving him for the owl-like spiker.

That’s why Atsumu chose to fuck you in the bathroom. He knew that the wall in the bathroom was the closest wall to Bokuto’s room. He knew that if he fucked you hard enough, he could make you scream his name loud enough to where his teammate would hear you. Then Bokuto would know just who you wanted stuffing your pretty little pussy.

“Come on Princess.” he teased, his hips grinding against your ass with a particularly hard thrust that had your mouth popping open and your lungs gasping for air.

“ You know you love this cock ……” he grunted when your pussy flared around him, clenching against his cock at the words, he grinned, he never knew that you liked getting fucked like a little slut, but now that he knew he swore that he’d never be able to return to fucking you like he had before. Not with the way that you were leaking for him as his degrading words cut through you like a hot knife.

You’d already adjusted to having him inside of you, the heat of him inside of you only being soothed by the cool countertop against your tits. You moaned with every thrust, you could already feel your mind beginning to fog over as Atsumu thrust behind you, plotting to fuck you dumb.

He suddenly stilled his hips, making you whine, trying to push yourself back onto him.

“‘Tsumu…” you whined, your eyes meeting his in the bathroom mirror, “move…”

He smirked, clicking his tongue at his messed up little baby.

“Tell me how much you love my cock, Princess.” He said, taking his dick completely out of you to rub it against your pussy lips, “tell me how much you love it and maybe I’ll fuck you again.”

Your face burned with humiliation. Atsumu had never acted this way before. Sure he was an asshole, but never this much of an asshole. That being said, there was no denying the impact that this side of Tsumu had on your body. You felt like you’d been enveloped in fire, every part of it burning up with need.

“ Please ‘Tsumu… .” you begged, “ I love your big cock so much….please fuck me …”

Atsumu groaned, his dick twitching against your slit. He loved hearing you like this, your voice broken as you begged for him to fill you. He could see the tears beginning to fall down your cheeks. So pretty.

“Since you asked so nicely Princess-” he cooed before harshly pumping his cock back into you, starting to fuck into you at a pace that had you crying and bucking back against him.

“Fuck!” you cried, “ Fuck- Tsumu…. Harder…. Fuck me harder ” you begged, you let your forehead fall forward against the mirror, your eyes drifting close.

“Shit” Tsumu growled through gritted teeth, you were so tight around him. He looked up to see your eyes closed.

‘Now that won’t do..’ he thought before threading a hand through your hair and pulling your head back off of the mirror, making a moan spill from your mouth and your eyes spring open.

“Come on Princess,” he panted, “ I wanna see your pretty tears while I fuck you. ”

***************

This was Atsumu’s favorite way to fuck you until you were crying and shaking around his cock. You looked so pretty with that dumb little look on your face, your eyes and lips puffy as you begged him to make you cum, telling him that all of it was too much for your poor little pussy.

He knew that you were reaching your limits, your pussy was fucked raw after 4 orgasms. You weren’t even able to form full sentences anymore, the only words coming out of your mouth were ‘more’ and ‘please’ along with all of your pretty pathetic little cries.

“‘Tsumu….” you cried, you could feel your fifth orgasm coming up inside of you. You didn’t know how much longer you could do this. Your clit was almost numb with how abused it’d been. Your nipples and tits were sore, and while you couldn’t see it, you knew that your whole body would be covered in bruises and marks tomorrow.

“ Please….hurts… ”

“Come on Princess….” he murmured as his fingers came down against your clit, “ just one more…”

You just whined in response, your hips jerking slowly against his pace. Your body was almost finished, but you knew that you had to give him just one more...one more and he’d finally let you rest.

“.... ..gonna….. gonna …” you panted.

Atsumu grinned down at you, your body was wrecked, your head was lolled to the side with your tongue hanging out as he fucked you hard enough for your tits and stomach to bounce with each thrust.

God, you looked so perfect for him. The way that your curves pressed against his body, the way that your pussy squelched with each thrust due to all of his cum that he’d dumped inside of you, all of it- all of you, was perfect… you were fucking built just for him.

“Me too baby…” he moaned, tossing his head back as he felt his third and probably finally orgasm approaching.

His fingers started playing with your puffy clit even faster making you choke on your tears, a new feeling entirely rising up.

You’d never felt this before, a look of horror suddenly came over your face as you began to feel like you were gonna piss.

“no… ’Tsumu!” you cried out, his pace not stopping at all as he began to feel your walls growing stiff.

He’d read about this before on the internet, seen it in porn, but never did he think that he’d actually be blessed enough to witness it.

“Fuck…” he moaned, his voice breaking as he sped up against your pussy.

“No… ” you gripped his forearms in fear, if you accidentally pissed on your boyfriend, you’d be left with no choice but to break up with him out of pure humiliation.

“ Please stop ‘Tsumu…’m gonna make a mess .”

He groaned at the fat tears rolling down your face. He knew what you were thinking, you’d probably never squirted for anyone before, you were probably surprised and scared. He knew he should reaffirm you, tell you it was okay. But he couldn't help but love the panic mixed with pleasure on your face as you begged him to stop.

“Come on Princess.” he panted, “ come on ….”

His hips were snapping into your at an inhuman speed now, each time his cock head bumped up against your g-spot.

“ You can do it Princess …” he promised, his fingers urging you to let you.

You shook your head, the tears of embarrassment running down your chin as you desperately tried to keep it in. You cried out, you could feel yourself starting to slip.

“ No- Fuck! ‘Tsumu!” you screamed, your body starting to convulse as liquid gushed out of your pussy, soaking Atsumu’s cock as he cummed into you, his eyes almost going crossed as you squirted all over his hips, the clear liquid running down his balls and dripping onto the bathroom floor.

“Fuck….yeah… squirt for me Babe. .” he groaned, riding out his high as you cried and gasped out his name.

He finally slowed his hips, your body completely limp with humiliation beneath him.

“Such a good girl….” he soothed, pushing the sweat-soaked hair out of your face as you continued to bawl.

“ ‘M sorry ‘Tsumu… ” you sobbed, still thinking you pissed all over your boyfriend’s cock.

“Don’t be sorry Princess, you did so good…you squirted so good for me Baby..you made such a good mess for me.”

For some reason, at Atsumu’s soft words, you began to cry even harder. Even as he assured you that you didn’t piss on him, you couldn’t help the tears of exhaustion that kept spilling over your cheeks.

“Are you okay baby?” he asked, guilt eating at his stomach as your crying didn’t cease.

Did he go too hard? Was it too much? Fuck! He couldn’t lose you, what if you didn’t like it? What if you left him?”

“F-felt so good ‘Tsumu….” you cried, finally returning his embrace as you wiped your tears against his defined chest, your soft body squishing against his athletic one as the hand rubbing your back stilled.

“Why are you crying then baby?” he asked gently, his fingers hooking under your chin as you sniffled.

“I dunno…” you whimpered, your eyes glossily staring back up at your boyfriend. Your body was completely blissed out, you could nothing but cry.

“Ok Baby… let’s get you cleaned up,” Atsumu whispered, gently lifting you off of the counter and guiding you to the shower so he could clean you up.

As he washed your plush body, he couldn’t help but admire his work. Every part of you looked absolutely fucked out and he quickly decided that he would die for you as you yawned, leaning yourself against him.

He kept whispering to you about how good you felt, how good you were for him, how he didn’t deserve you. Your body glowed with the soft compliments, a complete opposite of how he’d acted as he fucked you past over-stimulation.

After he finished washing you, he kissed you deeply, his strong arms wrapping around your body.

“Can you walk Baby?” he asked, softly wrapping a fluffy towel around your naked body.

You shook your head, sticking your bottom lip out in a pout.

“That’s okay..” he chuckled, his thumb running over your cheeks as he stared at you lovingly. “I’ll carry you wherever you want to go okay?”

You nodded, willing yourself not to start crying again at his soft words. You wrapped your arms around his neck, jumping a little to help him hoist you as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

He walked you into the room, resting you in the bed and pulling the comforter up around you before snuggling into the other side, his body automatically coming up to spoon yours.

“I love you, Princess,” he whispered adoringly, his fingers brushing against your bruised skin.

“Mmmm…love you too..” you hummed, your body so exhausted that you quickly started snoring, making Atsumu grin.

He thought about how lucky he was to have you. He could safely say that he was completely satisfied with how loud you’d been for him, with how nicely you’d let him claim you.

*************

“Fuck…” Bokuto whispered, his back was still pressed against the shower wall. His hand was still wrapped around his softening cock as he stared at the cum washing down the drain.

All he’d wanted to do was grab a quick shower. He never expected what had happened.

His eyes closed as he willed himself not to get hard again as he recalled how your moans sounded through the wall as you cried for Atsumu’s cock.

He felt ashamed for the reaction he’d had to it. Felt ashamed of how hard his cock had gotten. Most of all, he was ashamed that he’d stood there and fucked his fist to the sound of you screaming for your boyfriend.

He sighed, getting out of the shower and toweling off, trying desperately to push the memories of those noises out of his head.

Suddenly his phone buzzed.

‘Hope you liked the show ;)’ - Miya Atsumu

He scowled down at his phone before throwing it back onto the floor. He flopped down into his bed.

He could still hear your voice,

‘Fuck ‘Tsumu! M cumming!.....fuuucckk….’

Yep. He was going to be hard for the next year.

How was he ever going to look you in the face again?

[fallingtowers]

how would you improve buffy season 7

ah man anon don’t encourage me. alright fine. below the cut

ok, so, right off the bat let’s establish some ground rules for this exercise. first off, i’m doing s7 only, which means i’m working off the canon events of s6. as much as i might want to change certain things about s6, i won’t. also, this is going to be a look at the overarching structure of the entire season, rather than me trying to script-doctor any individual episodes.

with all that out of the way, let’s talk about buffy season 7. fundamentally, i think that s7 is conceptually and thematically sound, but that its ideas are, for the most part, poorly executed. you might say it’s a season with a lot of wasted potential (← joke). the first is a really effective villain, both in terms of sheer intimidation factor but also on a thematic level, and i really enjoy the season’s pervasive apocalyptic feel. really, the challenge here is not so much completely overhauling the season as it is just executing it more competently.

i think the biggest structural issue at hand is the haphazard pacing. season 7 starts out strong enough, devolves into a samey muddle during its middle third, and then has to rush to tie together all its loose ends in the last couple episodes. i think this would be relatively easy to fix by just introducing certain stuff (e.g. caleb, the scythe, the necklace macguffin angel shows up with, &c.) earlier. this has two benefits: one, we get more material to work with earlier, thus hopefully preventing meandering, and two, the pivotal climactic stuff will get more room to breathe and won’t feel quite so rushed.

certain character arcs and beats need to be shored up, clarified, or otherwise improved. for example, buffy should get the opportunity to process spike’s actions in seeing red. also, i’ve never liked how the wedge between buffy and giles post-lies my parents told me gets glossed over. robin’s whole arc should also get a bit of a touching up, just because robin deserved better.

(speaking of character beats, i’m not so sure about anya’s death. it’s possible that it could be cogent and satisfying if it were set up better and afforded the room to breathe. or maybe it would just suck anyway. what if buffy had killed anya during selfless? what would that have done to the gang’s dynamic? i’m not saying that would necessarily be a good creative decision, but it would certainly be an interesting one.)

the arc that needs the most tlc though imo is willow’s. poor, poor willow. she’s never been more interesting than she is, on paper, here: recovering from addiction, feared by her friends, with a human life on her conscience. and for what???

my season 7 would be very willow-centric. she is arguably on par with buffy in terms of importance here, so she deserves a commensurate arc. i would, in fact, like to focus on the relationship between buffy and willow—buffy, desperate to trust her friend while being cognizant of the fact that she may well end up having to kill her, and willow, desperate to regain buffy’s trust while being terrified that she will start backsliding.

and then they kiss.

yeah that’s right. buffy/willow endgame, mother fuckers.

i don’t think i’d cut the willow/kennedy stuff outright, but i’d nip it in the bud. kennedy makes a move; willow reciprocates only because she’s lonely and sad; kennedy realizes how messed up willow is, but is too immature and ignorant of the specifics to properly address it; kennedy pushes too hard and the whole thing falls apart.

(speaking of the potentials, i think i’d want to flesh out a couple of them more and leave the rest as background characters, just to avoid things getting too muddy. can’t remember exactly how it’s done in the show—this might actually be their tactic exactly lol.)

so the thing with kennedy falls apart, willow has hurt her and feels she has betrayed tara’s memory, she is at her wits’ end—and that’s when the first gets to her. it appears to her in the form of tara, because in this dream scenario we don’t have to worry about whether our actors will want to come back. it manipulates her and tries to get her to go dark again.

so, now we’ve got this fun scenario where willow is torn between buffy (representing the painful reality of waking up every day and continuing to fight, no matter how hard it is) and tara (representing the easy way out, the comfortable slip back into evil). not only would this make for a lot of tasty tension, there’s also a cool parallel here between what buffy wants to do for willow—to pull her back out of the abyss and into the harsh light of day—and what willow did for buffy at the start of s6.

and then they kiss. the end.

(also i’d cut the whole stupid fucking “is giles secretly dead” subplot)

this is all just off the top of my head. i’d probably have to rewatch s7 to get a proper feel for the intended themes and arcs, but i’m not going to do that, because i spent enough time as it is on this exercise. sorry for the wall of text, anon. love you

[ilballodellavita]

Måneskin Europa Plus Interview Translation

Hi everyone, this is a translation for Måneskin’s interview in Russia on 01.09.2021 with the radio station Europa Plus. I translated using just the Italian/Russian translator and of course Måneskin’s answers since I only know Italian, so if you speak Russian and I missed something feel free to tell me <3 This is also my first time translating such a long video so thanks for your patience! :-) You can download the interview here (Thanks @definitelynotdamiano​ for this link!) Tr = Translator

[ ] = My notes

Enjoy! (Under a read more because it’s pretty long)

Tr: We had to meet you, we are also your fans because we were at your event last night. We’ve been in love with you since Eurovision

All: thanks!

Tr: After the event last night we came here this morning without even changing 

Vic: Right on *laughs* 

Tr: It’s the first time that we [the interviewers] have our makeup like this, it’s unusual [for us], the first question is do you put on your makeup by yourselves or do you have a stylist to do it for you? 

Thomas: Depends

Vic: When we are working we are fortunate to have a stylist because-

Thomas: Exactly

Vic: -if we were to do it ourselves every morning it would be very bad 

Thomas: Very very bad yes 

Tr: Today your makeup looks very nice. How are you finding Russia? Is it your first time in Russia? Do you like it/not like it? 

Thomas: It’s very pretty

Damiano: Yes it’s the first time we’ve come

Thomas: We haven’t been able to see very much however it seems very pretty 

Tr: The Russian audience is very different from other European countries; are you surprised at the amount of fans you have here in Moscow? 

Damiano: Okay, it’s not so different, it’s very very hot. But yes we were surprised at the quantity of the fans we have 

Tr: How did you ever decide to come to Russia? No one knew, it seemed a bit, as they say in Russian, an “all of a sudden snow” 

Damiano: People have been asking us for a long time

Vic: They messaged us to try coming there and therefore we are inevitably here

Tr: You are exactly the type of singers that listen to fans and go where people ask you to go in regards to other countries then? 

Vic: Yeah if we can 

Ethan: Absolutely 

Tr: [One of the interviewers] is learning Italian and when she hears you speaking Italian she is already happy and jittery (in an excited way) so really you can talk about anything. Anything you want she will be happy. 

Thomas: Great 

Damiano: Perfect 

Tr: After your Eurovision win, has your life changed a lot? Or even before were you pretty famous in your own country [Italy]?

Damiano: No, no we’ll say not too much [of a change] however of course in Italy we already had good results. Surely it was a big change from before really just touring around Italy to now going and touring around Europe.

Tr: What objectives did you have for Eurovision, did you go to have a little fun or with the goal of winning for Italy? To, let’s say, defend the honour of your country? 

Damiano: No, let’s say, both the things but more so to prove to Italy and others we could win with a genre of music that’s different from the traditional Italian music that is always supported; music that’s more melodic and light. We wanted to make another side of music in our country. 

Thomas: Exactly. This type of music isn’t very public or wide-spread and we’d like to see it grow obviously  

Tr: I would like to thank you because every once in a while I listen to as well as share Italian music to impressionable kids and the [traditional Italian] songs are more melancholic and sad and I was missing that “drive” that you bring into our lives.

Tr: It’s been a pleasure especially to watch your press conference after your Eurovision win and in my opinion they should let everyone put their feet up on the table when they are responding to the questions of the journalists.  

Vic: That’s my opinion too 

Damiano: True true true 

Ethan: I agree

Tr: A question for Damiano: as a singer, at times you will have problems with the voice due to stress, if you have these problems how much time do you need to recover?  

Damiano: It’s a thing that can happen but I try to prevent it from happening with various techniques that I am happy to follow to do everything [I can] so that it doesn’t happen 

Vic: Yeah it never happens 

Ethan: Damiano is very disciplined 

Tr: Therefore no chocolate or honey?

Damiano: Exactly 

Tr: Why did Ethan say Damiano is disciplined? In what sense did he mean? 

Ethan: Well, he’s a person that really looks after himself, and if he commits to something he will do it and will see it through to the end

Tr: During concerts you all seem very lively. But in your private lives you all seem very calm, preferring to stay at home with family, not going out too much, in your private lives are you more outgoing or the reverse?

Damiano: The 3 of them [Ethan, Vic, Thomas] are more outgoing in respect to me, I prefer to stay at home. 

Tr: How were you all welcomed back in Italy after the Eurovision victory? Because the last [Italian Eurovision win] was 1990 if I’m not wrong.

Ethan: Full of journalists! 

Vic and Thomas: Good! 

Vic: Almost like a soccer team welcome!

Ethan: In short, when we returned after the victory to our country we celebrated with our families because we hadn’t seen them in a while 

Tr: If I’ve understood well, you will do a world tour and therefore you still have little time to see family

Vic: Exactly. In general, we have little time to relax *laughs* 

Tr: And maybe then you have a little time to write other songs too

Damiano: No those are-

Thomas: No, no we find the right moments for them, obviously we have moments of inspiration with whatever we are doing. If we are live, doing different promotions, or meeting different fans, we always find moments of pause whether its 3 hours in the day to be writing 

Vic: Yes, exactly the most important thing is the need to be truthful; inevitably we will be too busy or too tired and we will say “Okay, wait we need time to write”

Tr: When you compose music, how does it work? Are you working together on some parts, waiting on a muse, or saying “no, today we’re going to make a song” 

Damiano: No, creativity comes at unexpected moments but it’s also a thing you can train. We find that when we have the time to write for a couple of days in the studio it’s usually in the morning and the evening when we throw out ideas, search for influences… unfortunately you can’t always expect an epiphany; otherwise it’s a bit difficult 

Tr: You all know Little Big, right? [Little Big is a Russian band Måneskin in a different interview said they knew of]

All: Yeah yeah 

Tr: So then while we are talking about Little Big, they said that during the pandemic lockdown they lived all together in a house and every day worked; did you do the same thing? 

Vic: Unfortunately no, during lockdown we could not be together so we had to experiment with different ways of writing at a distance… obviously it’s not the same [difficult] for a group that’s fundamentally together, so therefore until we could meet again we were doing that. 

Tr: We want to talk about your style, it’s a little inspired by the 70s, glam rock… and is this a style that you have chosen or is someone giving you advice about what to wear 

Vic: For us it is very important to choose because the clothes that you wear really express you and we want to represent that. Therefore we’ve always been ourselves from when we were little up until now. 

Tr: Do you have any intentions of launching a clothing collection?

Damiano: For now we’re focusing on music but maybe in the future when we have more free time

Tr: Going back to your style, it comes off strong, do you ever come across people who don’t understand and maybe complain about it? How do you react to this “aggressive” perception [of you]? 

Damiano: In reality, even now that we have success, those types of comments get sent to us and we just rise above them. But when we were playing on the streets it was particularly difficult because there was a concentration of people just yelling insults at us, but luckily there are four of us and we support each other and grow to be more confident in ourselves. 

Tr: Before coming out on stage at your concerts, do you have any particular rituals that bring you luck? That you do every time and it brings you luck? 

Vic: Ehhh there’s some swear words 

Ethan: We say “C’mon c’mon c’mon!” 

Damiano: “C’mon c’mon c’mon” is the censored version

Ethan: Exactly 

Tr:  Before going on your transmissions, now every time you will change out the swear words!

All: Exactly *laugh*

Damiano: In Italian though 

Tr: We have noticed that when someone doesn’t understand Italian, you can say anything in Italian [to them] and it just sounds really nice 

Vic: Thank god *laughs* 

Tr: What music do you listen to, what music inspires you? Are there artists that inspire you but you never listen to them? To avoid contamination and eventual plagiarism in your case? 

Thomas: For us contamination is a very important topic… anyway we listen to different artists big and small and we search to mix them and we have a clear idea of what we want to do. It’s really important to take inspiration from many different artists and take the best parts from each of them.

Vic: Yes, of course we have particular artists that we take lots of inspiration from but we search to listen to a lot of music and center in on the little details we want.

Tr: Why did you decide to do a cover of Beggin’, did you have any fear before doing it? 

[Damiano scrunches his face at this, I’m actually not sure if I translated it wrong or if that’s just a weirdly phrased question] 

Vic: No, in reality it was very very small [that is to say, not scary?], compared to the first songs that we played together and now that we’ve written our original songs. In fact we never expected this [Beggin’ becoming a hit] to happen.

Tr: And maybe it’s the first time that a cover became big before your own songs; you’ve had such resounding success even on social media everywhere

 Damiano: No no yeah it’s absurd 

**Instrumental break where 2 songs play, Damiano gets up and comes back** 

**A caller speaking Russian calls in, it seems they are playing a game with the caller about their Måneskin knowledge. During this time Måneskin does not speak except to each other, which cannot be heard** 

Tr: We have received a bunch of questions but there are 3 questions that everyone is asking in particular. I will ask them now. 

Tr: Is it true that you all have matching tattoos? 

Damiano: Two

Tr: Where? Let us see

[They only show them the heart with arrow tattoo, not the Må one]

Damiano: How can I show you, uh, *unbuttons shirt to reveal his* 

Ethan: *turns around and moves his hair to reveal his on the back of his neck*

Vic: *rolls up her sleeve to reveal hers* 

Thomas: *rolls up his sleeve to reveal his* 

Tr: The question for Ethan from yesterday [this is the same translator from the other interview and he was asked this yesterday] is “What shampoo do you use” 

Ethan: I use shampoo based one hundred percent from love 

Tr: The last question, and maybe the weirdest question, who of you follows the cosmos [space, like NASA] account and why?

Ethan: It’s me, I follow it because I've followed it a long time from when I first started following things on social media, because when I was little like 12-14 years old I had a love of astrophysics and therefore I followed all the pages. 

Tr: Going back to your hit, I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE, what inspired this song. What message did you want to transfer to the public with this?

Damiano: The inspiration for the most part like all our songs comes from personal experience and this piece talks about the various “hidden” aspects of sex, like the “strange” or “excessive” acts and we wanted to normalize it by writing a song because we live like this ourselves. 

Tr: When can your fans expect a new song? Do you have anything ready? 

Vic: Yes

Damiano: Believe believe believe

Tr: You probably don't have any more secrets for your new album?

Damiano: We are full of secrets 

Tr: We’ll try the other part, we know that you had a collaboration with Iggy Pop, do you have intentions of collaborating with others?

All: It’s a secret! *laughs* 

**At this point they ask Måneskin to create a playlist of songs they like on a piece of paper, Thomas goes first, then Vic, then Damiano, and finally Ethan**

Damiano turns to Thomas: Can I tell you something? Scratch this out because no one can read it. It’s impossible. *Damiano tries to read it, then says no* *He then further insults him, but this is in good fun* 

**Vic begins to draw Damiano, and Damiano, Ethan, and Thomas comment on it saying it’s nice and giving tips on what to add. Thomas says to add earrings and the snake tattoo on his chest, and Damiano asks her to “please give him high heels”** 

**They then are given posters to sign while they look at Måneskin’s list** 

Tr: Who wrote Death II - Pulp

Vic: Me

Tr: Do you have any intentions on covering Death II - Pulp? Or a collaboration? Or is it a secret?

Vic: We have a lot of secrets but they’re secrets from everybody 

Damiano: Why not

Tr: Who wrote this one? [Even Flow - Pearl Jam]

Damiano: This one is mine

Tr: Ethan has chosen this one [Achilles Last Stand - Led Zeppelin] 

Ethan: Yes

Tr: All the children now are going to school listening to this song so it will be a hell day at school 

All: *mild laugh*

Tr: Who wrote Paranoid Android - Radiohead? Thomas.

Tr: After this interview where are you going, there is a crowd of fans outside you must get through to get past

Vic: To sleep! 

Tr: In Russia, like most of the world, we are waiting for your concerts. Do you want to play in Russia, and do you know when? 

Damiano: We still don’t know when but surely we will

Tr: It’s another secret?

Dami: *laughs* No this one we don’t know for real

Tr: We hope that the next time we see you there will be less secrets. Anyway we are waiting anxiously for your album. We will listen to it. Yesterday we had a lot of fun at your concert and here in Russia you have a lot of fans. We wish you a lot of success and we will always wait here. 

All: Thanks very much

Here is the playlist mentioned above, and Vic’s drawing of Damiano ^

[emptymanuscript]

In some ways the zero draft of Knights of Day did this. There was the whole original plotline which I'm writing out as the books AND then there was a sideplot of an AUish sort of thing which kind of took over at the end and finally became the main thrust of the zero draft after the main plotline ended.

While I have some references to it, like the characters from the AU occasionally show up. And my wife reading my drafts for editing will pop her head up and go, "Wait, is this Jamie?!" And I'll nod. "Yep, easter egg just for you and me." Mostly I use the AU for information, it developed a lot of things that the main plotline in the zero draft ignored.

But I also occasionally think about coming back to the AU. I'm not that interested in recovering what was done in the zero draft but I am really interested in how that universe turned out in the future.

On the other hand, my wife loves it enough that she keeps talking about writing her own series based on it. So I would write the main plot and she would write the AU. Which I keep saying do it. It tells a different enough story that I think it really would be interesting in co-existence. I'll even admit some bits do particularly interest me enough that if I ever finish the main plotline, I might come back and do them myself if my wife never does. I'd just rather she did it because the main plotline is more than enough work for me.

But yeah. There is something fascinating to me in the switch over between James (Protagonist of the main plotline, a 38 year old male) and Jamie (Protagonist of the AU, a not entirely clearly aged teen female) and how they end up different and influenced by others differently. I really liked the bits where them both existing would confuse people. One of the most fun bits I had writing was Bobby (Jamie's boyfriend at the time, later first husband) getting confused and attracted to James. Because in some ways, James is still the person he is in love with even while being radically different in other ways. And it's all this potential for talking about what defines a person and what makes them separate from similar people which I find fascinating but is harder to play with in the main plotline.

And of course there's JJ who is literally the same person in both the main plotline and the AU but we get to see such different aspects of her. In the main plotline, her story is mostly about healing. She starts in a fundamentally bad place and gets better. Part of the story is that the world is bad for her. But in the AU it's JJ at the peak of herself. It's her doing what she's good at. So that ended up being another really interesting exploration of self. How surroundings and events change the same character even if their personality and self and background don't change. There's just the problem that it's JJ and JJ is always problematic no matter her setting. That's part of her. But where JJ acts almost like an antagonist in the main plotline, she's enabling mentor in the AU, just because of the different circumstances.

Which is all a really long winded way of saying yes.

I have a question for the writers of Tumblr

Would you ever consider writing fanfiction of your own work? And I don't just mean like random tidbits of characters, I mean full-on fanfic tropes like coffee-shop AUs and alternate universes.

I'd like to think I would, but I would be worried that I'd 'use up' my ideas for that particular world if that makes sense.

[mamamittens]

Got into my feels again, so here's a small diatribe about

Character deaths

Okay, so we can just acknowledge and throw Marvel and their perpetual "this character makes us too much money to stay dead" problem. Right off the bat. Good? Good.

So, to start with, I want to make something very clear.

You. Do. Not. Have. To. Kill. A character to make a scene break hearts.

There are, in fact, a lot of ways to kill a character without them dying. For a more in depth look at this whole trope, feel free to check out Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube they're trope talk series is really good.

One of the more common ways is some form of memory loss. The character we know and love has died in some way that ideally can't be recovered from or at least not anytime soon.

There's also the old fashioned "they were never the person you thought they were" which has extra betrayal points. Along with a slim possibility that this character has grown fond of their pretend role.

And then there's the death of an ideal/moral/code. Which will fundamentally change this character from here on out. It's also a part of character growth but there's usually an element of tragedy here. Especially if their old way of thinking was optimistic or so pessimistic it devastates them to realize they could have been happier a long time ago.

Naturally actual death is pretty common as well, but it's the one most undermined by a return to status quo. We can be happy a character's memory returns. We can accept a character is too stubborn to quite let go of their old paradigm. But to just come back from death?

It tends to cheapen their original fall, especially if we had an involved mourning scene that dragged out. And yeah, kid shows tend to not have permanent character deaths but they usually dip into way darker replacement territory to make up for the lack of other easy options.

Death is also very often used in redemption arcs or self sacrifice. These are the ones that really can't afford to go back on their natural end. It cheapens so much more than the original act when they do.

And because I literally can't move on, here's a sort of mental excercise.

With One Piece, specifically Marineford. We all know how it ends originally, but go with me. Let's change the "death" just a little. That's not to say there isn't merit in how the story progresses in canon(I do recognize the poetry in Ace taking up Sabo's protector role only for Sabo to take it back with the fruit after his death).

Imagine if you will, a slightly different series of events.

Instead, when Ace takes the hit for Luffy, he doesn't stop running. Imagine Ace grabs his brother and turns his back in a fight. Ace. The man/boy who literally refused to turn away even when it was against common sense.

Ace takes that kernel of "maybe it's a good thing I was born" and wants to see it through. He wants to see Luffy grow up. He doesn't want to leave his family like Thatch and Sabo did before him.

Later, in safety, he breaks down. That iron core of his pride is broken and he has to rebuild his whole identity now in a world that knows exactly who he is. Ace, as a character, is now forced to fundamentally change or die. And he might die anyway.

Maybe he decides he's not strong enough to really protect Luffy in the face of his failure.

And Luffy steps up to grow strong enough Ace will never have to.

With this small change, we've started a chain reaction of character development with multiple characters. Ace can still be benched for however long the story needs him to not be there, but still show up if Luffy needs it. His character can challenge the different narratives the show has about inherited sin, honor, pride, and familial love.

Killing off a character is hard. Doing it right and effectively even more so.

But fundamentally altering a character's entire arc is arguably much more difficult because there's no reasonable way to back off without insulting the audience. It requires to you break what made the character to begin with and subvert their own creation.

Maybe I related to the sad boi hours Ace has going on a little too hard, but I firmly believe it would have been an incredibly emotional moment to see him grow like that.