#yeah sure i'll post this one. i kind of lost the thought behind this one (its from august? 2020) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

runariya · 3 months ago

Note

YANDERE! JK whose a psychiatrist AND reader who is mentally well but was made to believe otherwise because jk started liking her

(yandere) part of the prompt game pairing: psychologist!Jungkook x f!reader genre: yandere, dark romance warnings: yandere, feeling of being watched, doctors who don't really help, helplessness, obsession that causes paranoia and manipulated thoughts, lmk if I forgot smth (I hate writing warnings ugh) word count: 2.149

a/n: okay, I'm just about to hit 'post' and realised I've been writing about a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist JK because...I'm an idiot who apparently can't read properly...sorry about that...I'll just change the pairing now...yeah...🙂🔫

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You are healthy.

Or at least, you had always thought so, in the steady rhythm of your days, in the mundane details that make up the hours and the moments, until that phantom—the one you can't see, but feel, like a hand hovering just above your skin—begins to press more insistently into your mind.

You feel it at first like the gentle breath of a ghost trailing behind you. A curious thing, a thing you brush off as silly paranoia, the kind of absurdity that creeps up on a person too invested in late-night thrillers, or perhaps, if you're honest with yourself, one too many sleepless nights.

But soon, it no longer feels like the innocent remnants of poor sleep. The feeling grows heavier, sinking into your bones, blooming behind your eyes in long hours of hypervigilance that leave you restless and agitated, constantly glancing over your shoulder, wondering if the air behind you has really shifted or if the eyes boring into your back are real.

It follows you everywhere—the sensation that there is something, someone, just at the edge of your awareness, observing you with an intensity that makes your lungs constrict. You carry it with you to work, on the train, through the streets bathed in the pale morning light, and even to your home, where the walls that once felt safe now seem too thin to protect you from whatever it is that haunts you, watches you.

And it's absurd, surely, it's just stress—life, after all, is an insidious thing that wears you down in invisible ways. You're certain of it at first, convinced you can rationalise it away, as though it's merely a fleeting anxiety that will dissipate if you ignore it long enough.

You tell yourself this is nothing out of the ordinary, perhaps an accumulation of fatigue, of too many restless nights and too little time to catch your breath. But the feeling doesn't leave, and no matter what you do��how many times you lock the doors or close the curtains tightly at night—there’s always a part of you that is aware of it.

Eventually, your concerns lead you to doctors who listen to you with patient faces and half-hearted nods, while you describe the sensation that gnaws at your peace. They wear the professional masks of sympathy, of understanding, and yet their dismissals are almost clinical in their detachment.

They tell you it's just stress, just the byproduct of modern life, their voices smooth and rehearsed. They offer suggestions—meditation, yoga, perhaps a temporary prescription, all the usual platitudes that barely touch the surface of your growing unease. You leave their offices feeling no lighter, no more reassured, and the burning of that gaze—always unseen, always just out of reach—remains.

But then, on a rainy Saturday, when the grey skies press low and the city feels submerged in a kind of melancholic stillness, you stumble across a flyer. It seems unremarkable at first, just another sheet of paper stuck to a lamppost among hundreds of others—of lost cats, of yoga classes, and of flatshares. But something about it catches your eye. It feels...personal, somehow, as though it has been placed there just for you, amidst the drizzle and the low splashes of the streets.

‘Dr. Jeon Jungkook,’ it reads in neat, almost delicate handwriting, though the letters carry a subtle darkness to them. ‘Psychologist specialising in anxiety, paranoia, and delusions.’

Beneath that, a phone number, handwritten as well, as though it’s not meant for just anyone. You hesitate for a moment, feeling the flutter of something indefinable in your chest, a strange overwhelming sense of dread and hope. It's peculiar, how desperate you’ve become, how this small, simple thing feels like a lifeline now. Perhaps...perhaps this is it. Perhaps Dr. Jeon will listen to you, truly listen, in a way no one else has.

You call, and he answers almost immediately, his voice deep, rich with warmth that flows through the receiver like honey meant as bait for bears. There is a brief exchange of pleasantries, an odd kind of relief settling in your chest as you speak to him—he doesn’t sound hurried, doesn’t cut you off, and most importantly, he doesn't dismiss you.

It feels like you hit the jackpot, that perhaps, this is the one person who will take you seriously, who will understand. When you mention your availability, expecting an appointment weeks away, he surprises you by offering you one for later that same afternoon. The coincidence is too perfect, but you brush that thought aside—how lucky you are, after all, that he has a slot open just for you.

The hours until your appointment crawl by, each minute making you more anxious but somehow optimistic too, thinking this might finally be the help you desperately need.

And then you find yourself at his office—a small, elegant building tucked away on a quiet street, its windows large and clear, spilling soft light onto the pavement. Inside, the waiting room is tastefully minimalist, a neutral palette of greys and whites, the scent of lavender and cedarwood filling the air, calming your racing mind for a while.

And then there he is—Dr. Jeon, who appears younger than you’d expected, his dark eyes bright yet somehow secretive, a glint of something you can’t quite place shining beneath his pleasant exterior. He is handsome in a way that feels almost illegal, like he’s meant for a stage, the sides of his head buzzed short, piercings, tattoos and jewellery adorning his tall built. His smile is gentle, though there is something about it that feels slightly... off, as though the corners of his mouth hold a secret only he knows. He invites you into his office, and there’s an undeniable grace in the way he moves, the way he gestures for you to sit, the way he folds himself into his own chair with an ease that seems almost rehearsed.

"Tell me," he begins, his voice low, soothing, yet there’s an intensity in his gaze that makes you feel as though you are laid bare before him, as if he knows more about you. "What has been troubling you?"

And so you speak, halting at first, unsure of how much to reveal, but soon the words come tumbling out—every anxious thought, every fleeting glimpse of movement in the shadows, every sensation of being watched.

You tell him how it has consumed you, how it has twisted your life into something almost unrecognisable, and how no one has believed you. But as you speak, he listens, truly listens, leaning forward ever so slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. There is no interruption, no dismissive remarks, just the feeling that he is absorbing every word, every emotion, every fibre of your being, with an almost predatory focus.

"You're not imagining it," he says softly, once you've finished, and the words strike you like a physical blow, leaving you panicking, trembling, silently gasping for air. "What you're feeling is real."

The relief that floods you is overwhelming, calming your panic attack in an instant, almost enough to bring tears to your eyes. Finally, someone who understands, and you dismiss the feeling that there’s something more beneath his words, something darker.

"You’re not well," he continues, his voice almost a caress, soft and soothing in ways that should leave you suffocating. "But I can help you. I’ve worked with many patients like you—people who are misunderstood, dismissed by others who cannot see the truth of what they’re experiencing."

There is something about the way he says *truth* that makes you shift in your seat, though you cannot quite place why. His eyes flicker, almost imperceptibly, with something you felt while being watched, something possessive, as though the knowledge of your vulnerability excites him in some way. But you push that thought aside, chalking it up to your overactive imagination, to the paranoia that has been eating away at you for weeks.

Dr. Jeon leans back slightly in his chair, crossing one leg over the other, his fingers steepled in front of his lips as he watches you with that same intense focus, as though you are the most fascinating puzzle he has ever encountered.

"You’re going to need more than just this one session," he attests, his tone gentle, but leaving little room for argument. "This… condition of yours, it’s complex, deeply rooted. It will take time—many more sessions, in fact—for us to work through it properly."

His words are like a binding contract, though you don’t remember agreeing to anything. There’s an undeniable pull in his voice, an authority that you find yourself drawn to, even as a small, quiet part of your mind screams for caution. But you want to believe him. You *need* to believe him. And so you nod, agreeing to the additional sessions without fully understanding why.

He smiles again, that same unnervingly perfect smile, his eyes softening with something almost affectionate as he watches you. There’s a lingering pause, as though he is savouring the moment, as though he is drinking in the sight of you, fragile and desperate for help, his help.

"Don’t worry," he murmurs, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "I’m the only one who can help you. No one else will understand you the way I do."

There’s something unsettling in the certainty of his words, in the way he speaks them as though they are an undeniable fact rather than a simple reassurance. But you find yourself nodding again, agreeing because there is no alternative, because the weight of his gaze makes you feel as though you have no choice.

As you leave his office, there is a strange sense of both relief and unease swirling within you. Relief, because finally someone has validated your fears, someone has told you that you are not losing your mind. But unease… unease because there is something about Dr. Jeon that doesn’t quite sit right with you. Something in the way he spoke to you, in the way he looked at you, as though you were not just a patient, but something more.

You shake the thought away, convincing yourself that you are simply overthinking it, that this is just another symptom of your paranoia. You tell yourself that you are lucky to have found him, that he is the help you’ve been searching for all along.

But as the days pass, and the sessions with Dr. Jeon become more frequent, more intense, you begin to notice the ways in which his presence seems to have seeped into your life. It’s subtle at first—small things, like the way he always seems to know exactly what you’re thinking before you say it, or the way he seems to anticipate your needs before you even voice them.

There is a strange intimacy to your sessions now, a closeness that feels almost suffocating, and even after weeks, you can’t quite place why. He never touches you—never crosses that professional boundary—but there is something in his eyes, in the way they follow you as you speak, that feels almost...obsessive.

And then there are the coincidences—those strange, inexplicable moments where you see him in places he might but shouldn’t be, not in this frequency.

Once, you caught a glimpse of him in the crowd at the supermarket, his eyes locking with yours for a brief moment before he disappeared into the throng of people.

Another time, you swore you saw him in the park, watching you from a distance, though when you blinked, he was gone. It feels as though he is everywhere now, as though he has somehow become the very thing you consulted him for.

But whenever you bring it up to him, he smiles that same calm, reassuring smile and tells you that it’s all in your head, that your paranoia is playing tricks on you. And you believe him, because you want to believe him, because he is the only one who has ever taken you seriously, the only one who has ever made you feel understood.

Yet, little do you know, that understanding is your undoing. Little do you know, that his presence in your life is not coincidental, that he has been watching you long before you ever picked up that flyer, long before you ever knew his name.

Little do you know, that Dr. Jeon Jungkook’s obsession with you is not born out of a desire to help you, but rather to possess you, to draw you deeper into his web until there is no escape.

Little do you know, that each session, each soft-spoken word of comfort, is another step towards him, until you are utterly, irrevocably trapped, thinking that you need him to get better, ignoring that…

You are healthy.

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storytowrite · 2 months ago

Text

|You will always be mine ~ Lee Minho series|

PART 1

Paring: Minho x Y/N

Genre: smut, angst, university au

Word count: 732

Warnings: sex, 18+, Minho is a psycho, dom!Minho, sub!reader, abuse, slight BDSM, kidnapping, violence, age gap, Minho is an university professor, Y/N can be hurt physically (and mentally too I guess).

Synopsis: Who knew that accidental fuck in the club bathroom with a handsome man will bring you to a lot of unexpected events.

Author's note: I kept this series for a really long time not sure if I want to post it or not, but I decided to do it anyway, so I hope you'll like it.

——————————

"Faster!" You moaned as his member thrust deeper and deeper into you "…Yeah!” You dug your nails into his biceps, your back pressed against the cold tiles of the club bathroom. He held you tight against your thighs, his thumbs making gentle circles on your skin. Your bodies rubbed against each other rhythmically.

"Just a little more sunshine, hold on a little longer." He moaned into your ear. After a few more thrusts, you both ended up in spasms of pleasure. You rested your head against his chest, regulating your breathing. “You're pretty good, honey, you know?” He asked, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead.

"Thanks." You only murmured and smiled slightly at him, "You're not that bad either."

The man laughed softly. He pulled away from you after a moment and helped you get dressed, then pulled on his ankle-length trousers and straightened his rumpled shirt. He wasn't the tallest man you had ever known, but he was certainly one of the most experienced. You didn't know his name, didn't need to. You knew you wouldn't see him again, after all so why care?

"I'll go first." The man said, breaking the momentary silence that fell between the two of you. "After all, it's the women's bathroom…”

"Mhm, sure," You replied, "That's…”

"See you later." The man said before you could finish, then left, leaving you alone in the club bathroom. You sighed softly and adjusted yourself in front of the mirror. It was quite good sex. You thought and with a smile on your lips left the bathroom. “Time to find the rest of the crew.” You muttered to yourself and went in search of your friends who had long been lost in the crowd of bodies, swaying to the music.

You didn't come alone to the club. No. It wouldn't have been prudent of you, though you weren't the most prudent person anyway. Your friend Jeno disappeared into the crowd, dancing with every woman he met. You sighed softly, going to clubs with Jeno always ended like this, in separation, each of you finding more interesting company to spend the evening than your own.

However, this time you did not come to the club with Jeno only. His older cousin Jungwoo decided to go with the two of you too. You liked Jungwoo even though you didn't interact much with each other. He wasn't in the city often because of his studies, but that was about to change as he got a scholarship to the same college where you studied. You were curious if he would actually transfer.

You stood between the dance floor and the bar and looked for your friend. Jeno had long since disappeared from your sight, with some brunette, so you hoped that maybe at least Jungwoo was somewhere nearby. You didn't want to spend the rest of the party on the couch against the wall. You were about to give up when you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Y/N! you are here! Where have you gone? I couldn't find you anywhere. Oh my God! Is that a hickey?!” Jungwoo stood, as if on cue, right in front of you..

“Hi. Woo…” You said, slightly amused. “Yes, it's a hickey, let's say I had an interesting meeting in the bathroom.”

“Mhm, I think I already know what kind of an interesting meeting…” He said with the face of an expert.

“And you? Are you having fun?” You asked before he started peppering you with questions about the man you’d had passionate, albeit quick, sex with in the bathroom a moment earlier. Jungwoo smiled widely at you.

"I have the bartender's number." He said proudly. "You don't even know how hard it was for me to get it. But he looks gorgeous! Plus, I got free drinks, so I guess he liked me.”

"Hey, I want free drinks too!" You said with a little jealousy in your voice.

“Then pick up the bartender.” Jungwoo laughed and was about to offer you drinks, when Jeno approached the two of you, not quite in a good mood though. One of his eyes slowly turned purple. “Oh, what happened?” Asked his cousin.

“It turned out that the girl I went with was not alone in the club.” Murmured Jeno. “Her boyfriend decided to step in... let's go home, I have to put ice on myself.”

<- Series Masterlist | Part 2 ->

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cre8inghavoc · 9 months ago

Text

What are friends for?

Note:

This is my first ever post, so please be kind! I've been working on this piece for a few days, and there will be more parts to come, but it may take some time to complete. The story will also include text messages between you and your friends (SMAU). I'll do my best to maintain a good length for the story, but there may be some shorter parts. Also, I'm new to this, so there may be a few errors, but I hope you enjoy the story! :)

Status: ongoing!!

Updates: Whenever I can, no set date.

WC: 2756

Description: Characters are aged up. Y/N's stuck in a toxic relationship with her controlling boyfriend, feeling lost and doubting herself. Now, she's facing a crucial choice: stay put or find the courage to break free and reclaim her independence. Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader

Genre/Warnings: [18+] This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.

Your friends have been telling you to leave your boyfriend for months now. They warned you about him, about his manipulative, controlling, and narcissistic nature, which contributes to his toxicity. They keep pointing out his flaws – how he always wants. No. NEEDS to tag along wherever you go, how he tries to control what you wear and who you hang out with. And don't even get started on the name-calling and arguments that seem to happen like every single day. But despite all their warnings, you find yourself wondering if maybe it's just his way of showing he cares… it was all out of love wasn’t it? If he didn’t care about you he wouldn’t act the way he does…

Right…?

You're constantly caught in a loophole of conflicting feelings. On one hand, you can't help but notice the red flags they've been waving in your face. But on the other hand, there's a part of you that wants to believe there's genuine love behind his actions. He loves you?

Right…?

Still, you can't help but question: does all this make him a "bad boyfriend"? Sure, he's not physically abusive, but his mood swings leave you feeling like you're walking on eggshells. As you grapple with these thoughts, you can't help but wonder where to draw the line between love and toxicity.

"Y/N!"

You snapped back to reality as Maki's voice cut through your thoughts, finding yourself now parked in front of Yuta's house, a 15-minute drive from your own.

"Are you okay? You've been lost in thought the entire car ride here," Maki asked, a mix of concern and confusion evident in her tone.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking about the exams coming up," you replied with a forced smile, though it didn't seem to convince her entirely. Luckily for you, she didn't question further.

You made sure to silence your phone before heading out, knowing the argument that would likely occur with your boyfriend over your plans with friends. It wasn't news to you that he disapproved of your friendship with Yuta and Inukami, despite having plenty of female friends himself. Hypocritical isn't it. But today, you decided to take a stand. You were tired of the never-ending arguments and his controlling behaviour. It felt like you couldn't say or do anything without setting him off, and honestly, you were fed up with it.

You felt it was the right decision, even if it meant facing another argument later. You were determined to spend the day enjoying yourself with your friends, and if that meant upsetting him, then you were willing to deal with the consequences. After all, arguments had become a daily occurrence between you two, so what harm would one more do?

You didn’t quite know where this newfound confidence had come from. Normally, the thought of upsetting him would send shivers down your spine, making you hesitant to go against his wishes. But today was different. You were reaching a breaking point, tired of his behaviour and the constant strain it put on you. Mentally, you were drained. Ever since getting together with him, you'd been affected with a sense of unhappiness, a feeling that even your friends had picked up on. All they wanted was to see you happy again, but it felt like an impossible challenge to break free from his control and spend time with them. He dictated every aspect of your life, and you were beginning to realize just how suffocating it had become.

He felt like a never-ending storm cloud, hovering over you wherever you went, casting a shadow of negativity that left you feeling drained and miserable. It was as if his presence drained your strength, both physically and mentally, until you were left feeling defeated. You knew deep down that the only way to find a “cure” was to get rid of him, but it was far from simple. If it were that easy, you would've done it long ago, at the first signs of trouble.

Believe it or not, he wasn't always like this. That's why you were drawn to him in the first place. But as time passed, things only seemed to deteriorate. A part of you held onto hope that he would revert to the person he once was—caring, supportive, and loving. Yet, as months turned into nearly a year, nothing changed. If anything, it only seemed to worsen.

Why? Why did he change? Was it something you did? Was it your fault? Did you somehow fall short? He always made you question your self worth. He made you believe that this was what you deserved—that you deserved to be hurt, to be broken. He convinced you that you weren't worthy of more.

You and Maki entered Yuta's house, using the spare key you both had. It was a common practice among your close group of friends; you all had keys to each other's homes. After all, you practically grew up together, so there was nothing unusual about dropping by unannounced.

Inumaki and Yuta greeted you warmly as you entered the living room, where they were too focused on a video game. As the hours passed, laughter filled the room, followed by playful teasing and occasional cussing at each other due to the intense gaming moments. You all talked about life, ate your favourite meals, and for the first time in a while, you felt a sense of happiness return. It was as if you were reconnecting with the positive, joyful version of yourself that had been buried beneath the weight of recent struggles.

"I'll be right back! Just need to use the bathroom," you announce before grabbing your phone and heading off.

"Do you want us to pause the movie?" Yuta offers, showing his consideration for your absence.

"No, it's okay! Keep watching, I'll be quick," you assure them with a laugh as you slip away.

Time flew by, and before you knew it, it was almost 9pm. Your peaceful day took an abrupt turn when you saw multiple missed phone calls from no other, your loser of a boyfriend.

**5 MISSED PHONE CALLS AND MESSAGES BETWEEN Y/N & BF**

Luckily, Maki, Inukami, and Yuta were too engaged in the movie to notice your lengthened absence. However, tears welled up in your eyes as you read the messages, feeling the weight of self-doubt creeping in once again.

"I’m just a bitch. That’s all I am. I'm nobody," you muttered to yourself, your eyes red as you struggled to contain your emotions. You couldn't afford to show weakness in front of your friends. This shouldn't affect you, you reminded yourself. You knew this was coming, so why did it hurt so much?

Knock Knock

A knock on the bathroom door interrupted your thoughts. "Hey, Y/N. You okay in there?" Maki's concerned voice broke through your internal chaos.

Fuck.

Of course, Maki sensed something was wrong. She had picked up on it the moment she picked you up. She wasn't one to pry, though. She respected your privacy, and if you didn't bring up the issues first, she wouldn't force them out of you. That's why you cherished her friendship so much—she was the best friend anyone could ask for.

You wanted to tell her, you really did, but you knew all too well what her response would be, and frankly, you didn't want to hear it—not today. All you wanted was to be with your friends, to immerse yourself in their company and forget about your troubles, if only for a little while. You didn't want them worrying about you or your mental state. So you took a deep breath and plastered on a smile, hiding all the negativity like you always did.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just on the phone with my mom," you said, forcing a smile as you opened the bathroom door, only to be met with Maki's skeptical expression. Her raised eyebrow spoke volumes, questioning your excuse without saying a word. But she didn't press further. Instead, she offered a soft smile and placed a comforting hand on your back.

"You're missing the movie. We decided to pause it when you didn't return after five minutes. Come on, let's go," she said gently, leading you back to the living room.

You both made your way downstairs and settled back onto the couch, resuming the movie with the others. After a few minutes, Yuta stood up from his spot and took a seat beside you, leaning in closer to whisper in your ear so only you could hear him.

"Hey, I know you haven't been feeling your best lately, and I understand why... But I want you to know that you can always talk to me. To us. We're here for you, no matter what." he whispered, his words causing your heart to stop for a moment. A soft smile spread across your lips as he leaned back, his eyes meeting yours with warmth.

"Thank you," you replied softly, leaning your head against his shoulder as the movie continued. Resting on each other like this was a familiar gesture among your group—it was something you all did since childhood, a sign of trust and comfort. So when you leaned on Yuta's shoulder, it wasn't a romantic gesture—it was more like seeking comfort from an older brother figure. Your friends have always been there for you, caring and supportive, much like older siblings would be.

Finally the movie finished, with the time now showing 11:16pm—it’s very late, thank god you guys had no classes scheduled for the next two days.

"It's getting late, Y/N. Are you ready to head back?" Maki asked, her expression soft with concern.

Before you could answer, Inukami jumped in with a hopeful tone, asking if you guys could stay a bit longer. You could tell he was really loving the reunion, bringing back memories of all the fun times your group had shared in the past… just like before you got into a relationship.

"Yeah, come on, Maki and Y/N! We haven't had this much fun in a while. It feels good for the group to get back together again," Yuta chimed in, his gaze shifting between Maki and you. The collective attention turned to you, though you knew it wasn't intentional—they subconsciously understood that the decision rested with you, or rather, with your boyfriend's expectations.

Even though it was late, the idea of going home to an empty house, knowing your boyfriend would be out, doing who knows what, filled you with dread. You knew it would only trigger more overthinking and anxiety so with a reassuring smile, you decided against it. Tonight, you didn't feel like going home, and that was perfectly okay.

"Fuck it," you thought, smiling back at them.

"Why don't we have a sleepover?" You ask, breaking the silence. Their eyes widen in shock, the suggestion catches everyone off guard. It's been a while since the last sleepover, back before you started dating your controlling boyfriend. They've tried to organize some since then, but you always declined, due to your boyfriend's disapproval.

Of course. Typical.

Their initial shock quickly turns into smiles and nods as they exchange glances before turning back to you.

"Let's do it!" Maki says with excitement.

All of them cheered in excitement, and the lively conversation continued throughout the night until exhaustion finally led to all of you drifting off to sleep on Yuta's spacious and comfortable couch. Despite the cozy setup, you found it hard to sleep as your mind continued to race, clouded by thoughts of him once again. Unable to find peace, you quietly slipped outside to the backyard, just to get some air.

Yuta awoke shortly afterward, noticing your absence. He got up from the couch, careful not to disturb Maki and Inumaki and began searching the house, half expecting to find you sleeping in his room. But you weren't there. He started to slightly panic as he considered the possibility of you leaving without informing anyone. How did you get home? Was something wrong? Why would you leave without saying anything?

As his mind rushed with worry, Yuta made his way to the backyard door and spotted you sitting on the stairs. Leaning against the door frame for a moment, he gathered his thoughts before joining you outside, silently taking a seat beside you.

"Hey," Yuta says as he settles beside you.

You jump at the sudden sound, caught off guard by his unexpected presence. "Omg, Yuta," you playfully shove his shoulder, "don't sneak up on me like that."

"Sorry," he chuckles softly, "didn't mean to scare you."

"What are you doing out here this late?" he questions.

"Couldn't fall asleep so I decided to get some air."

"Something on your mind?" He asks with concern.

I smile at him. "No."

"Come on, Y/N. I've known you for years; you think I can't tell when something's on your mind..."

You both sit there in silence for a moment before he speaks up again.

"Is it—"

"Mhm. But I don't want to talk about him. I'm here with you guys today, and that's what's important. Not him," you state, trying to change the conversation away from your boyfriend.

Yuta gives you a reassuring smile and nods, but then an awkward silence settles between you. It's unusual; conversations with your friends usually flow effortlessly, so why does it feel so difficult now?

After a moment, you decide to break the silence.

"Yuta..." you begin hesitantly.

He meets your gaze with a soft look. "Yeah?"

"I'm thinking about breaking up with him, you know," you confess.

Yuta's eyes widened in shock, a spark of excitement shining in him. As your best friend, he genuinely cares about your well-being and wants what's best for you. They all do, and they know that leaving your boyfriend will bring out the best in you, bring back the real you.

"Really?! How come... I mean, I already know why, but I'm just curious after all the times we've mentioned it to you, you never really pa—"

"Yuta," you interject, giggling at his enthusiasm.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and being here with you guys today reminded me of the times we used to have together before him and I got together. And honestly... I haven't felt happier and more relaxed in a long time until now. It's like when I'm with you guys, I'm constantly smiling, laughing, talking, and I never feel judged. But with him, I feel so... miserable. I don't even remember the last time he and I actually talked and had a laugh together. It's always arguments, and he's the one who always starts them over nothing."

Yuta places a comforting hand on your shoulder and gently wipes away the tears on your face. You hadn't realized you were crying. You tried your hardest not to cry for months, but while telling Yuta how you felt, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Shhh... it's okay, Y/N. I'm glad you feel like yourself when you're with us. You deserve so much better than that jerk," he reassures you, his words bringing a sense of comfort.

He never fails to make you laugh.

"Thanks, Yuta," you say gratefully.

"Hey, what are you guys doing outside?" Maki and Inumaki mumble sleepily as they stand at the door.

Yuta grins mischievously and glances over at them. "What's with that ugly grin?" Maki jokes, prompting laughter from everyone.

"MAKI!" you all shout in unison, teasing her.

Yuta can't contain his excitement any longer. "Y/N is planning on breaking up with her boyfriend!" he blurts out.

If Maki and Inumaki thought they were awake before, they're definitely wide awake now. They exchange shocked glances between you and Yuta, repeating the gesture several times. You can't help but smile; despite the gravity of the situation, you feel a sense of pride. Proud that you've finally gained the courage to do something you've been wanting to do for months.

"You're not messing with us, right? Because I swear to god Y/N, if I find out yo—" Maki begins, her voice tinged with concern.

You cut her off before she can finish her sentence. "I swear I'm not messing with you guys. I'm going to do it tomorrow night."

Yipeee!! Go Y/N!!! finally we've all been waiting for this moment.

im currently working on the next part so please be patient!

Also, thank you so much for reading!

#fushiguro megumi x reader #smau #jjk smau #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #megumi fushiguro #megumi smau #jjk fluff #megumi fluff #fluff #angst #jjk angst #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smau #jujutsu kaisen megumi

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imthesilentwriter · 2 months ago

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The Stars

Harry Potter x Wolfstar!Daughter!Reader

Summary: With a little help from the mistletoe, you and Harry share your first kiss under the stary night sky.

Warnings: first kiss, light teasing

Authors Note: I'm currently in the process of planning out a couple of oneshot ideas I've had in my head - so, as to prepare for the no time I will have over the next couple of weeks. These fics should be posted about a week or so apart, then I should be done with my final exams, and well... I'll be back. I hope you can understand, enjoy this fic!

Word Count: 2250

Navigation | Masterlist

You stand in the doorway to the boy’s dormitory, leaning against the frame as you watch Harry rummage through his trunk. The room is mostly empty, with only a few belongings left scattered about from students still ready to pack.

“Are you all set to go?” you ask, crossing your arms with a playful smirk, catching his attention.

Harry straightens up, turning to face you with that familiar messy hair of his falling over his glasses. “Almost,” he replies, his voice warm but a bit distracted as he shoves a book into his trunk. “Just making sure I didn’t forget anything.”

You raise an eyebrow, stepping into the room a bit more. “You’re not leaving behind any homework, are you? You did hand in that Potions assignment, right?” Your tone is teasing, but there’s a genuine question behind it. You’ve known Harry long enough to recognise that sometimes he forgets things when he’s too busy thinking about other stuff.

He grins, leaning casually against the trunk now. “Yes, Mum,” he teases back, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he crosses his arms in response. “Everything’s done. Handed in my Potions essay two days ago. Thought you’d be proud of me.”

You laugh softly, rolling your eyes but feeling a warmth in your chest as he steps closer. “I am proud. I’d hate for Snape to ruin your holiday with some snarky comment about missing work.”

Harry’s grin widens, his eyes sparkling as he takes another step toward you. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let anything ruin our holiday. Especially not Snape.”

You tilt your head at him, smiling, and there’s a moment of quiet tension between you. It’s the kind that has become increasingly familiar lately, and you can feel your heart speeding up just a little. His eyes linger on yours for a second longer than usual, before he shakes his head with a laugh.

“Anyway,” he says, breaking the moment, “we should head down for dinner before Ron eats everything.” He gives you a playful nudge as he moves past you toward the door.

You chuckle, following him out of the room. “Knowing Ron, we’re probably already too late.”

You and Harry step into the Great Hall, the warm glow of the candles overhead flickering against the enchanted ceiling. You spot Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table, sitting close together with a half-empty platter of food in front of them.

As you approach, Ron looks up, his cheeks bulging with a mouthful of what appears to be roast chicken. He says something muffled, completely incomprehensible as bits of food fly onto his plate.

Hermione rolls her eyes, giving him a pointed look before turning to you at Harry. “He said, ‘It took you both long enough.’” She offers a small, knowing smile that makes your stomach flip. There’s a teasing glint in her eyes, as if she’s noticed how close you and Harry are walking together.

You feel your cheeks heat up, but you quickly sit down next to Harry, trying to act normal. “We didn’t take that long,” you reply, though your voice sounds more defensive than you intended.

Ron, now finally managing to swallow his food, grins. “Yeah, sure. You’re only the last ones here. Hermione thought you two got lost or something.”

You scoff lightly, shooting him a playful glare. “We were just making sure Harry packed everything, unlike someone who nearly forgot their Charms homework last week.”

Ron shrugs, completely unbothered. “That was one time.”

Hermione looks exasperated but doesn’t press the point, instead glancing between you and Harry. “You two seem… close tonight,” she says, her voice casual but with a hint of teasing. “Sitting awfully close, aren’t you?”

Your heart skips a beat, and you realise that, yes, you and Harry are sitting closer than usual – your knees brushing under the table, shoulders almost touching. Harry shifts beside you, and when you glance at him, you notice the light pink tint spreading across his cheeks.

“Oh, uh-” Harry stammers, trying to play it off, “there’s just, you know, less space at the table tonight.” He sounds unconvincing, and you can feel your own face growing warmer.

Ron snickers, biting into a piece of bread. “Right. ‘Less space.’”

You kick Ron lightly under the table, earning a chuckle from him, while Hermione hides her grin behind her glass of pumpkin juice. Harry, still a bit flustered, reaches for a roll, but his hand brushes yours as you both go for it at the same time.

“Sorry,” he mutters, looking down at his plate quickly. You pull your hand back, feeling the butterflies in your stomach flutter more intensely.

Dinner goes on with light conversation, mostly centred around Ron’s enthusiastic retelling of his plans for Christmas and Hermione’s exasperation over his lack of preparation for the upcoming exams. All the while, you’re hyper-aware of how close Harry is, and how his arm occasionally grazes yours.

Once you’ve finished eating, the plates magically clear themselves, and Harry glances at you, an almost shy smile tugging at his lips. “We’ve got some time before bed… do you want to do something?” His voice is soft, hopeful.

You bite your lip, thinking for a moment, before the answer comes to you. “I’d like to go to the Astronomy Tower,” you say, your voice quiet but certain. “To look at the stars.”

His eyes light up, and he nods. “That sounds perfect.”

Ron lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Of course, the Astronomy Tower…”

Hermione gives him a look. “Oh, hush, Ron. Let them go look at the stars.” There’s a sly smile on her lips, and you have a feeling she knows exactly what’s going on between you and Harry, even if neither of you has fully admitted it yet.

Blushing, you get up from the table, feeling Harry’s eyes on you as he stands as well. You glance over at Hermione and Ron, who are both trying their hardest not to look too amused.

“Well, we’ll see you later,” Harry says awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he waits for you to join him.

You give Hermione a quick wave, and she winks back, as you and Harry head out of the Great Hall together, making your way toward the Astronomy Tower.

The cold night air bites at your cheeks as you stand atop the Astronomy Tower with Harry, the sky above a sea of stars. They glitter against the black canvas, so clear and sharp that it feels like you could reach out and grab them. You pull your cloak tighter around you, sneaking a glance at Harry beside you. His breath forms soft clouds in the crisp winter air, his eyes trained on the sky, but you can tell he’s just as nervous as you are.

For a while, it’s quiet – almost awkward – as you both gaze up at the stars, your fingers brushing his for a split second before you quickly pull your hand away. The cold is a convenient excuse for the shiver that runs down your spine, but deep down, you know it’s not just the temperature making you feel this way.

Harry clears his throat, breaking the silence. “The stars are… really bright tonight.”

You nod, unsure what to say, your heart racing just being next to him. The space between you feels charged with something unsaid. “Yeah, they’re beautiful.”

Another stretch of silence follows, and you sense Harry shifting on his feet beside you, as though he’s gathering the courage to say something more. You’re at a loss for words, the nervous flutter in your chest making it hard to think straight.

Then, after a moment, Harry speaks again, his voice softer, almost hesitant. “You know… the stars, they kind of remind me of you.”

Your breath catches at his words, and you turn to look at him, your heart pounding in your ears. “Remind you of me?” you repeat, your voice barely above a whisper.

He glances down, shuffling his feet before meeting your gaze again. His green eyes are bright, reflecting the light of the stars above, and there’s something vulnerable in his expression, like he’s afraid of saying too much but wants too anyway.

“Yeah,” he continues, his cheeks flushing pink from more than just the cold. “They’re beautiful, obviously, but it’s more than that. They’re always there, constant, even when everything else feels uncertain. Like no matter what’s going on, you can always look up and find them.” His voice drops, a little shy as he adds, “You’re like that for me.”

His confession is so simple, but it makes your heart feel too big for your chest. You can’t tear your eyes away from him, and suddenly, the awkwardness disappears, replaced by a quiet tension that hums between you. There’s something in his gaze, something tender and full of hope, and you realize you’ve been waiting for this moment just as much as he has.

As you stand there, words hovering on the tip of your tongue, your eyes are drawn upward – and that’s when you see it. A sprig of mistletoe, its little white berries gleaming in the dim light, hanging just above your heads. It’s almost laughably convenient, but it’s there, and you know Harry’s seen it too.

Your eyes meet, and for a moment, you both just stand there, the realization hanging in the air. He glances at the mistletoe, then back at you, his breath coming out shaky, lips slightly parted as if he’s waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

Instead, slowly, carefully, Harry leans in, his movements tentative, giving you time to pull away if you want. But you find yourself drawn to him, your heart racing as you close the distance between you. Your eyes flutter shut, and then, finally, his lips meet yours.

The kiss is soft at first, tentative, like you’re both testing the waters, but it sends warmth flooding through you, chasing away the cold of the night. His lips are gentle, and the hand that’s been brushing against yours squeezes lightly, grounding you in the moment.

When you finally pull back, the world feels different, like everything has shifted into place. You open your eyes to find Harry staring at you with a soft, almost awestruck expression, his cheeks flushed and his breath shaky. You know you must look the same, a blush creeping across your skin despite the cold.

The silence between you is thick with emotions that have been building for longer than either of you realized. You’re both standing there, frozen in place, still processing what just happened.

Without thinking, your hand moves up, trembling slightly as you cup the back of his neck. His skin is warm beneath your touch, and you can feel him shiver – not from the cold this time, but from the same nervous anticipation that’s thrumming through you.

You pull him down toward you, closing the space between you once more, and kiss him again. This time, the kiss is more certain, a little bolder, your lips pressing against his with quiet intensity. Harry responds instantly, kissing you back with the same urgency.

But just as you’re getting lost in the moment, Harry pulls back, his breath shaky as he rests his forehead against yours, his fingers brushing lightly over your hand. For a second, neither of you moves, standing there with your foreheads pressed together, the stars twinkling above, the cold night air forgotten.

You let out a breathy laugh, something soft and uncontrollable that bubbles up before you can stop it. Harry pulls back slightly, his lips quirking into a curious smile.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, his voice quiet but warm.

You bite your lip, still smiling. “I don’t know… I guess it’s just – this. Us.” You pause, your heart racing as you search for the right words. “I’ve wanted this for so long... I didn’t think it would actually happen.”

Harry’s expression softens, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek now. “Me too,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t know how to say it... but I’ve liked you for ages. I just... I didn’t want to mess things up between us.”

Your heart swells at his confession, and you realize just how long you’ve both been waiting, dancing around this moment. You take a deep breath, your voice trembling slightly as you speak. “I like you too, Harry. A lot. I’ve been so nervous around you lately, and I-”

Harry smiles softly, his forehead still resting against yours. “You don’t have to be nervous anymore. We’re okay. Better than okay.”

You smile back, the relief washing over you, a weight lifting off your shoulders. There’s nothing left to say; you both know now.

Without second-guessing yourself, you lean in again, capturing his lips in another kiss – this one slow and sweet, like a promise. His hands settle gently on your waist as he pulls you closer. The world fades away, and all you can feel is him – his warmth, his steady presence, the way everything just feels right in this moment.

When you finally break apart, the stars are still shining above you, but all you can think about is how bright everything feels now that the truth is out in the open. Harry looks at you with a soft smile, his hand lingering on your cheek as he whispers, “I think the stars were always meant to lead me to you.”

#harry potter #wolfstar daughter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x wolfstar!daughter!reader #first kiss #fluff

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teatreeoilll · 11 months ago

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|| Flustered (Geto Suguru X Reader) ||

(Reposted from my old blog which I don't have access to anymore (thanks Tumblr), if you liked it reblogs or likes would be appreciated to get me back on track since I've lost all my followers and half my work :(

in which reader has a big crush on Geto (don't we all?), just kind of me tapping into the funny post-credits vibes of jjk. notes: I even kept the small headlines I made for each part because it felt cute, might delete later.

w/c: 1.1 k

screenshot credits to user yutamayo.

The part where Geto Suguru likes seeing you flustered.

You were sure Geto Suguru hadn't the slightest idea of what he was doing. Because if he did, it would make him a devil.

He'd always sit patiently waiting for the end of class before coming up to you, just to place a large hand on your shoulder while you were still sitting in your seat, letting it linger there for far too long as he spoke.

"Be careful, yeah?" He heard passingly from Shoko about the mission you were about to take on with one of the older sorcerers.

"Always am." You smile, thinking that if he doesn't move his hand off of your shoulder soon, the warmth of his fingertips might burn through the fabric of your uniform.

"That's not what Shoko says," He gets down on his knees to face you and tilts his head lightly, a dark strand of hair grazing the side of his nose. It would be impolite to not look straight at him now - the eye contact he kept so easily made the blush creep to your cheeks. His hand moves to rest on your thigh. There's no chance in hell he doesn't know what he's doing.

"Huh?"

"Are you feeling okay? Your face looks red, you shouldn't go if you feel sick." He says.

"I'm - fine, I just -" Your chair scrapes the floor as you get up abruptly, "I don't want to keep Mei Mei waiting."

Did someone tell him that I have a crush on him? You thought while stumping down the hall, the only one who knows is Shoko, and there's no chance she'd do that. Damn it.

The part where you learn that if you ever ask for something of Mei Mei, be very specific.

It doesn't help to wipe the sweat. It just mixes with dirt and blood that covered you from head to toe, leaving your vision blurred and your moves sloppy. Mei Mei has it all under control - as she usually does, with her battleaxe swinging elegantly through numerous curses each instant, leaving their severed parts to rest on the dirty linoleum floors, but it doesn't mean she'd let you off easy.

"You should at least try to focus, or you wouldn't live long enough to have any chance of getting together with Geto."

huh?

"I'm sorry. I'll focus." you mutter shamefully.

The mission ends almost instantaneously when Mei Mei finds the curse responsible for the recent killings, her blows unwavering even at the horrid sight. You knew you weren't at your usual level on this mission, but Mei Mei's words have shifted your focus completely.

The car ride was silent except for the sound of your uniform's fabric brushing over the car seat every time your leg bounced restlessly, thoughts running back and forth through your mind.

"Mei-Mei, How'd you know that -"

She didn't even wait for your sentence to finish; "Gojo paid me to send a raven to pry on yours and Shoko's conversations."

"Oh," fuck, "wait, shouldn't it be a secret?"

"He paid me to snoop," a smile grazed her lips, "not to keep a secret."

The part where Gojo Satoru faces imminent death.

"I'll kill you, Satoru!" You shout, but Gojo only likes it more. He runs around the class pretending that all the things you're throwing at his direction will actually hurt him. He hides his tall figure poorly behind desks, giggling every time another part of school property passes his head by a few inches.

"And end a bloodline just like that?" He teases.

Shoko stands silently in the doorway, watching the scene unfold. She puts a cigarette in her mouth, ready to turn away from the class and leave you to deal with Gojo in any way that you see fit. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Geto approaching the classroom, oblivious to the new developments.

"Ieri - " He tries to say something, but she just slowly shakes her head "No".

"Wouldn't go in there if I were you." Shoko closes the door behind her, muffling the conundrum of threats and laughter coming out of the room.

In the hall, Gojo's mocking words could still be heard through loud thuds of heavy objects hitting the floor, "D'you really wanna' kill your boyfriends best friend?"

The part where Geto Suguru is so, so sorry.

Geto felt the guilt rush over him now that you knew that he had flustered you very much deliberately. You've ignored him for almost a week now, which by any means would be considered a feat, seeing that you've spent hours together in classes and practice almost every day. And even when he came to apologize, befitting a Jujutsu sorcerer, you stood before him in the hallway with an unholy amount of unwavering pride.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, especially when I knew that you have a crush on me." He had stated the obvious, but still somehow managed to lie. He really wasn't sorry - his heart fluttered everytime he saw your face turn crimson under his touch.

"Had." You corrected.

"Had?"

"Yeah, had a crush on you."

"Oh, so you don't anymore?"

"No." You lied through your teeth, but you were rather convinced that if you'd just keep focusing on the anger you felt, the feeling will blow over eventually anyway.

"That's understandable," He says, taking a small step closer to you, just to test the waters. When you didn't move, he raised his arm slowly, pressing the palm of his hand to the side of your face, watching your body involuntarily eliciting the same response he longed for. On the tips of his fingers he clearly felt your jaw tense up slightly, and the heat gathering quickly in your cheeks, "But I just can't have that happen. You look so cute like this, you know?"

It was futile to resist his kiss, his whole body felt like it belonged to be pressed right against yours. Your pride melted against his tongue, his lips only stopping when he had to draw a quick breath. By the time his hand was entangled in your hair, it was too late to try and regain the last shreds of dignity, and so you opted to wrap your arms around him to press your bodies even closer.

#jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen X reader #jjk geto #jjk getou #geto X reader #geto X you #geto X y/n #geto suguru X reader #getou suguru X reader #geto suguru #geto suguru x you #geto suguru x y/n

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 8 months ago

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Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Seven

Summary: Jungkook introduces you to his Hyungs but his jealous streak comes out and shows you the worst of him Pairing : Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 4.5k~ Warnings: JEALOUS JUNGKOOK like I mean jealous, possessive, territorial the whole nine yards (and it's pretty hot ngl lmaooo) which leads into an argument, explicit language (I think?) making out and all that stuff a/n: I have part one through eleven written already so I figured I would just post this to fill up some space until the next update for my other stories :) Start from the beginning

As Jungkook leads me towards his hyungs I feel myself getting a little anxious. I know I'm safe with Jungkook but I'm on edge nonetheless since I'm still not sure why we're here. The guys turn their backs and start walking towards the building behind them and we follow close behind.

Looking around I notice that this place almost looks like the bare bones of a warehouse but from the looks of it someone has been working on remodeling it.

Once we get to the back Namjoon opens a door and leads us down a set of stairs onto what looks like a boardwalk. I knew we were getting close to the coast but I didn't realize we could get to a place like this so quickly.

As we make our way down the boardwalk I take that time to look at all the little shops lined up on either side of us that have been long forgotten and start to imagine what this place might've looked like in its heyday.

Getting too lost in thought I feel myself trip on a loose board, and before I even have a chance to react I feel a pair of hands on my waist steadying me before I fall.

"Hey daydreamer, you alright?" Tae says with an amused smile. "Yeah, sorry" I say, quickly tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear that had fallen out of place. "You don't need to apologize" he says warmly "Just watch your step okay? Do you want to hold my hand just in case?" he offers.

"No she's fine, I'll help her" Jungkook says coming out of nowhere and pulling me in by my waist from behind. With my back now up against his chest and his arm wrapped around my waist protectively I give Tae an awkward smile but I can see from his expression that he's clearly enjoying Jungkook's reaction. "Let me know if you change your mind" he says sending a not so subtle wink my way and giving Jungkook a devilish smile clearly taunting him.

"What is this place?" I ask aloud in hopes to direct Jungkook's attention to something other than boring holes into the back of Tae's head. "It's an old boardwalk that my uncle just bought" Namjoon answers having overheard my question.

"It used to be super popular back when he was younger but I guess people stopped coming once that new shopping mall opened up a couple of miles down the road. They ended up losing too much business so they finally closed up about 20 years ago, it's kind of been frozen in time ever since. He just started working on restoring it and he finally finished the arcade about a week ago, so I thought I would finally invite you guys to come and check it out!" he continues. He seems to be putting on a laid back act but I can tell he's really excited to show us.

I look up at Jungkook with my back still pressed against his chest and notice that he hasn't made an effort to follow the guys into the arcade. "Is everything alright?" I say seeing his jaw clenching. "Jungkook" I say hoping to bring his attention back over to me.

"Huh? What? What'd you say?" he says finally breaking out of that possessive headspace. "I asked you if everything was alright? You seem a bit tense" I say turning around to face him. "Everything's fine, it's just, I didn't like the way he was looking at you" he says finally admitting to his jealousy.

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, from my perspective it seemed like he was trying to get a reaction out of you and you gave him exactly what he wanted" I say placing my hand on his arm.

"Kook I'm here with you. I came to meet your friends but I promise you, you have nothing to worry about" I say looking into his eyes trying to convey my sincerity. He looks away from mine and huffs, "Maybe it wasn't a good idea to introduce you guys".

"Aw come on they're harmless!" I say laughing at how moody he's been ever since we got here. "Plus Tae was just trying to make sure that I didn't fall" I say explaining the situation. "Yeah I know, I saw" he says looking back down at me. "So then why are you still upset?" I ask hoping to help him make sense of situation.

"I didn't like the way he was touching you either" he says, continuing to justify his reaction. "Oh come on it wasn't that bad, see?" I say placing his hands where Tae had touched me. Looking back up at him I now realize what he meant, and feel my heart rate pick up under his gaze.

"See" I say, clearing my throat, "It's nothing" I continue trying my best to convince him. He looks down at me and I can feel my skin burning up from the intensity of his stare, and then let out a small gasp as he quickly pulls me in by the waist.

"Now is it nothing?" he says into my ear in a tone that wakes up all of my sense. "Tae didn't do this" I respond in a breathless tone feeling the mood change drastically.

"Yeah, but he could've" he says continuing to speak directly into my ear, feeling his warm breath fanning my neck. He leans in closer and I soon feel his soft lips placing feather light kisses on my neck and now exposed shoulder.

"Jungkook" I choke out trying to keep a level tone. "What if someone sees?" I continue once I realize he isn't stopping. "Good, because then they'll know who you belong to" he says stopping his kisses only long enough to respond. He increases the intensity of his actions and walks towards me placing my back up against the wall of the building behind me.

I hiss slightly once I feel him start to bite and suck one spot, now realizing what he's doing. Before I'm given a chance to protest he crashes his lips against mine, swallowing the beginnings of an argument.

The kiss is rough from the very start, feeling him kiss, bite and suck on my lips with more intensity than I've ever felt. I try to suppress a moan from coming out but it's impossible from the way he has my head spinning.

Feeling myself running out of breath I press on his chest firmly and he pulls away from the kiss, resting his forehead against mine. Looking into his eyes and seeing the way he's looking at me makes it even harder to breathe let alone think and before I have a chance to say anything he whispers "Mine".

"Hey are you guys coming in or what?" Jin yells from the doorway. Jungkook takes a deep breath and calls out "Yeah we'll be there in a minute Hyung" not making efforts to move away from me just yet, but nonetheless Jin in turn retreats inside.

"I don't want anyone else touching you like this. Do you understand?" He says firmly. "Jungkook I already told yo-" I start in protest still feeling breathless. "I don't care. I just want you to know that I don't want anyone else being this close to you" he says cutting me off and making his stance clear.

"Okay" I respond, not really knowing what else to say. "But did you really have to give me a hickey to prove your point?" I question rolling my eyes at him.

"No, but it was a nice touch" he says with a smirk rubbing his thumb over the mark. "Oh so giving me swollen lips from making out wasn't gonna be enough for you?" I call after him as he walks away towards the arcade. "Nope" is all he bothers to say before opening the door and waiting for me to catch up.

"You're insufferable" I say as I walk past him and he gives me a light slap on my ass in response. I glare at him but am cut off before I can even utter a word of scolding by Namjoon asking me to come and play a basketball game with him. Gladly accepting I take the first chance I have to escape Jungkook before giving it a second thought.

"Have you played this game before?" he questions and then glances down at my neck where I can only assume is the place where Jungkook's mark has started to bloom.

"Uh yeah I have" respond shortly, turning away from him to place it out of his line of sight. He starts the game without any other questions and we keep going until the timer runs out.

"Yes!" he says exclaims in victory. "Yah!" Jin exclaims, having seen the exchange. "Don't be rude, you challenged her to your favorite game so of course you won" he further scolds. "It's okay Jin, I'm not very good to begin with but it was still fun!" I say trying to lighten the mood.

"Why don't you pick out a game and then we'll see who wins next" he says giving me a genuine smile which happens to be accompanied by two adorable dimples. "Sure! Best two out of three?" I propose excited for another chance at victory. "Best two out of three" he repeats in agreement.

"I would propose to play a few more but my guess is that he won't let me keep you for that long" he continues, nodding his head towards Jungkook who has his eyes trained on the both of us. "He can get over himself" I say turning back towards Namjoon.

"Now, what would you say to playing a round of Guitar Hero?" I ask excitedly. "I would say I should just accept defeat right away" he admits laughing at his lack of luck with said game. "Oh come on it'll be fun!" I say trying my best convince him to play. "Alright let's get this over with" he says shaking his head and laughing, knowing the future result.

"Man... you really do suck at this game Hyung" Tae says after watching the beating Namjoon just took from me. "Hey he tried his best" I say placing a hand on his shoulder trying my best to keep my composure.

"It's okay Luna you can laugh" he says giving me a painful smile. I can't help but break after being given permission and feel Tae joining right along side me as we laugh for a bit at Namjoon's clumsiness.

"I'm sorry Namjoon" I say, still trying to calm down. "It's okay, and call me Joon okay? Namjoon sounds way too formal coming from you" he says playfully.

"Alright Joon" I start, complying with his request. "What should our tiebreaker game be?" I ask, feeling the tingling sensation of victory continue to run through my veins. "Hmm" he says looking around the room before laying his eyes on a particular spot.

"Air hockey?" he suggests. I can see from his expression that he's trying to hide his confidence under an indifferent demeanor but what he doesn't know is that I haven't lost a game of air hockey in 7 years. Even Jungkook with his competitive spirt refuses to play with me anymore. "Sure, why not?" I respond following suit in trying to conceal my excitement.

Walking up to the table I look over at Jungkook and see he's still there watching me closely and I can see a smirk slowly growing on his lip. I don't make an effort to give him a reaction in return and turn back towards the table to grab a hold of the mallet. I feel the air turn on and notice that the puck comes out on Namjoon's side.

"Why don't you start?" he says making moves to hand me the puck. "No that's okay, age before beauty" I say and hear the boys laugh at my response as they all seem to have drawn their attention towards our tiebreaker challenge. "This is gonna be good" I hear Tae whisper to Hobi but I try my best to not let our little audience psyche me out.

Taking a deep breath I watch as Joon starts to place the puck on the table and sends it my way. I in turn send it back to him but bypass his mallet and hear the clinking sound signaling my first point.

All the guys react by laughing, cheering or teasing, but as the game continues I have yet to hear one voice during the entire match but I do my best to keep my head in the game nonetheless.

Once the time clock is close to running out I hear the boys countdown from ten and then feel that same thrilling sensation of victory I've felt time and time again as they finally shout out zero.

I celebrate my victory for a second or two along with the guys but after taking a couple of steps back from the table I cut my cheers short as I feel myself hit a wall of muscle accompanied by arm slowly wrapping around my waist.

"Good job Noona" Jungkook says in a low voice fanning his breath against my neck again making me shiver at the unexpected contact. "How many wins in a row is that now?" he continues, speaking softly enough so I'm the only who can hear. "I-i've lost count" I stutter for a second and clear my throat immediately after.

"I'd expect nothing less from my champion" he says as he rubs his nose into the side of my neck, taking a second to gently breathe in my scent before taking a step back making his hold a little less intimate.

"Wow Luna! I had no idea you would be that good! I can see why Jungkook has always been so competitive being friends with someone like you" Hobi says with a big smile on his face. "Thanks! I think?" I say confused as to if I should take it as a compliment.

"You're a worthy opponent Luna, I'll give you that" Joon says coming up to me and giving me a high five. "You too! Not gonna lie, it bruised my ego a bit losing the first game but I guess you could say it kickstarted my competitive nature" I laugh.

"Thanks for asking me to play with you!" I continue, giving him a friendly smile. "Anytime" he responds reciprocating my smile. "Hey Hyung I think Jin Hyung is looking for you" Jungkook says while pulling me in closer. "Oh alright, I guess I'll go see what he wants then" he says and makes his way over to the man in question.

"You know you don't have to do this right?" I say turning around to face Jungkook who is still holding me. "Do what?" he says feigning innocence. "This" I say running one on my hands up his arm. "I always do this though" he says in defense. "Jungkook I already told you that I'm not interested in any of them" I say trying to reassure him yet again.

"It's not you that I'm worried about, it's them" he says glancing over at his Hyungs, now surrounding Yoongi and Hobi while they compete in some sort of racing game. I don't bother to look at them for too long so as to not give him another reason to be jealous and continue on with our discussion.

"What about them? They didn't do anything" I say confused, "We were just playing games, it's not like they hugged me or something. You made it very clear from the start that you didn't want that to happen" I say trying to explain away whatever he was worrying about.

"You do realize that almost all of them were checking you out the whole time right? Especially when you were leaning over the table" he says sliding his hand down lower on my waist. "Jungkook it's whatever, don't let it bother you" I say trying my best to get him to drop it but he persists nonetheless.

"But it does bother me Luna. I'm in love with you, and I know you haven't fully figured out how you feel about me so, I don't know, I can't help but feel insecure" he finally fully admits.

"Jungkook I'm sorry but I don't want to rush into something right now. Give me some time and I'll let you know soon okay?" I say in hopes to reassure him that I'm still thinking about us. He nods his head in response and leans in to kiss me and I turn my face to the side and make him place it on my cheek instead.

"Time Kook" is all I say and pull away from him before he can pout any further.

Walking over to watch the madness that is this racing game unfold I feel someone take a hold of my hand. "Luna can I talk to you for a second?" Jin says as I turn and make eye contact with him. I politely slide my hand out of his grasp and nod my head yes, following him to the other side of the room so we can talk.

"What's up?" I ask looking up and seeing his unreadable expression. "Is everything alright between you and Jungkook?" he questions straight away. "Yeah! Why wouldn't they be?" I question trying to figure out exactly what he's trying to ask me.

"Well, ever since I saw you guys get out of Jungkook's car I noticed that things were really tense between the two of you. I know we just met, and I haven't really seen what your relationship with Jungkook is like normally, but I can tell that there's something going on" he continues doing his best to be considerate but also wanting to get some answers out of me.

"I just want to make sure that you're feeling safe and comfortable around him. I know you guys have been friends for forever from what Jungkook has said but I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk or want me to talk to him just let me know" he finishes, fully explaining his motives. I'm taken aback by his maturity and observation of the dynamic that Jungkook and I have going on and am honestly touched by his concern.

"Thank you Jin that really means a lot to me. Things are kind of rocky and uncertain between us right now but we'll get through it" I say trying to wrap things up neatly. "How long ago did he tell you he has feelings for you?" Jin says not wanting to drop the subject.

My eyes widen realizing that Jin saw a lot more than I wanted him to when he came outside. "I- um-" I fumble for a second before settling on just telling him the truth. "Last night" I admit.

"And what did you say?" he prods further. "I told him that I needed time to figure things out. I just barely caught onto the fact that he might have feelings for me a few days ago so everything about our relationship has just switched up drastically and I just haven't had time to think about it all" I respond dropping my gaze to the floor.

"You're scared of losing him aren't you?" he ask when he knows for a fact that he's right. I nod my head in response not really knowing how else to respond. "Luna, that boy is crazy about you! He's always thinking about you and bringing you up in any and every conversation he can. Not to mention how many times he's ditched us to go see you. Not that I'm complaining" he laughs trying to lighten the mood.

"He would always tell us how much he likes you and would pout when you were taking too long to respond or had to cancel on him because of work. I highly doubt you would ever lose him even if you tried" he says smiling down at me. "

All I'm trying to say is that he loves you and cares for you a lot. If you want him to back off let me know and I'll talk to him. I know what it feels like to be put under pressure, especially when it comes to relationships so know that I'm here for you if you need anything" he finishes.

I thank Jin for his advice and make my way back over to the guys just in time to see Yoongi cross the finish line. Unfortunately for Hobi he comes in last, having somehow managed to get his car stuck going backwards off a cliff and can't seem to get it to respawn in time to catch up.

While Hobi does his best to get Yoongi to give him a rematch I feel someone bumping their shoulder into mine and turn to see Tae looking down at me. We make eye contact and then see him turn his head over to another part of the arcade and makes his was over there.

I turn back towards the group of guys trying to find Jungkook in the crowd and notice that he's finally taken his eyes off of me to talk to Namjoon. I take that as my chance and follow after him to see what exactly he's wanting to do.

"Hey Luna" he says with a soft smile leaving me retuning his greeting and inquire as to why he's brought me over here. "I just wanted to see if you're having fun. You really killed it in that game against Namjoon hyung" he says with an amused smile. "Yeah it was really fun! I'm glad he asked me to play" I say truthfully turning my attention over to the other games in that area.

"Have you ever played this game?" he motions over to a Zombie Apocalypse simulator. He walks over towards it and I watch as he climbs inside the little two seater cubby that shows the war torn landscape on a big screen. I walk over to it and observe the setup.

"I haven't. Is it scary?" I ask, apprehensive to trying out such an immersive game. "I don't really think so, you just gotta keep on telling yourself it's not real but also do your best to defend yourself. It's a delicate balance" he says with an encouraging tone.

"You wanna try it out?" he offers, scooting away from me so I can sit next to him. "Sure" I say coming around to the idea after hearing his explanation. He pats the space next to him inviting me inside and hands me the gun that is directly in front of me once I get inside.

I mutter a quick thanks and feel myself getting a bit nervous from being this close to him but I do my best to focus on the task at hand.

"You ready?" he asks making moves to set up the game. "Ready as I'll ever be" I say with a nervously. "You'll do great!" he says giving me a warm smile. He pulls the trigger after having chosen his gun and has me do the same.

The pace starts off slow with a couple walkers here and there and soon escalates to more and more coming faster and faster. I flinch a bit seeing one having jumped on to the screen and do my best to get him off of me.

Tae aims his gun over onto my side of the screen to help me out and we quickly get it off and we continue on finishing the final round.

"Wow you're really good at this!" I say impressed with his skills. "You're not too bad yourself" he says bumping his shoulder against mine again making me smile at the friendly gesture. "Do you wanna play again?" he proposes the idea but I'm soon cut off by another voice.

"Hey no fair! You can't keep her all to yourself! Luna why don't you come play with me? I'm sure you'll find it very... stimulating" Hobi says in a suggestive tone while leaning on the side of the game where I'm now held captive between the two of them.

But yet again before I'm able to respond I see Hobi being pulled back and feel someone yanking me out by my forearm.

"Luna get your stuff we're leaving" Jungkook says dragging me towards the exit. "Jungkook hold on a second let me grab my bag!" I say trying to pull out of his grip. He loosens his grip on me just enough to place his hand in mine and have me lead him towards the spot I had left said bag.

Once I do he pulls on my hand and leads us towards the exit yet again. I see the guys take notice and send me a questioning look, observing the situation and contemplating whether or not to intervene. "Bye Luna" is the last thing I hear before the door closes behind us.

"Jungkook wait!" I say in protest waiting for him to listen to me yet he continues to pull me towards the building we had once come through.

"Jungkook STOP!" I yell at him finally being able to yank my hand out of his grip. "What?" he exclaims but does his best to keep his voice level. "What was that all about?" I say, finally given the chance to question his behavior. "I told you I didn't want them to be that close to you!" he says defending himself.

"Tae and I were just playing a game and then Hobi came over seconds after we had finished our game. It's not my fault that he was trying to get closer to me. And if you had given me a chance to speak for myself I would've taken care of it" I continue, poking holes in his argument.

"You shouldn't have been that close to Tae in the first place. I told you how it makes me feel when stuff like this happens" he continues trying to patch up his reasoning.

"Jungkook you're not my boyfriend!" I say finally fed up with his controlling behavior, but immediately regret it as soon as the words left my mouth. Seeing the slight change in his already frustrated expression I know I've hit him where it hurts. "You're right, I'm not" he says and turns his back to continue down the path leaving me behind.

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drawloverlala · 21 days ago

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November status update!

So! Spooky month is over and now we are at November! so here's my monthly update!

🌼Social Media management

So first I wanted to give a bit of a announcement given the difficult situation with artists and social media in recent times, specially on Twitter and the recent choices they've made, I've been thinking on what to do 🤔

I've come to the conclusion to only post full art on certain sites that are more for art and artists and the rest will be cropped art or very tiny version of them (not full resolution or quality)

🌱Sites where you'll find my art without cropping and better quality:

Tumblr / Inkblot / Artfol / Sheezyart (eventually) / Neocities(gotta update it though)

🌱Places where I'll post it cropped and less better quality:

Twitter / Bluesky / Instagram

Thought I'd still like to use tumblr for posting art as well and specially sketches and doodles, it's just still a very comfortable place to put these kind of things, but I'll just just my watermark more often on them

But yeah, social media management is something I was very messy about, and in recent months I haven't been able to keep up with everything about it so I needed to make some kind of order in there

🌼October ink art challenges:

nah, I tried but I gave up on it pretty quick lol, I've been pretty stressed up with work and side personal projects that I just didn't make the time to draw too much of that lol

it was kinda funny how quickly I lost steam with that 😅 but well it's not an obligation, maybe next year I'll be able to be a little bit more consistent and have more energy for that.

🌼Commissions:

So I finished the batch I got on August, though there's still a comic pages commission from that but I'm putting that and one I got last month together.

as for the batch I got on October, I got a bit behind it, mostly because I was trying to finish with the previous batch first, so this next week I'll work more on the current batch for sure! 👍

hopefully I'm able to finish all chibis next week at least!

🌼Ko-fi shop:

still not finished with the new items to put on the shop, and I haven't started yet with holiday themed things, hopefully this upcoming week I get more time for that, I just gotta really make some kind of order in my schedule lol 😅

Other than that, I guess the megaman X fan comic is coming along quite nicely, I'm still working on the inks, but dialogue has been more defined thanks to a friend of mine and there's about 7 pages left to ink!

but yeah that's all for now, hope you have a nice November!

#my ramblings

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that-basic-simp · 6 months ago

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Girl With The Wave Tattoo PT. II

A/N: I sincerely and deeply apologize for not getting this out sooner. Tumblr did not notify me that a couple people commented asking for a second part to this. It was only recently that I saw that part two was requested. To those who requested this, I am so sorry for making you wait this long! Mizu X Fem!Reader CW: Deep conversations about trauma and dark/intrusive thoughts WC: 1.0k+

"Hey, Mizu!" I smiled, waving to her.

"Hey, Y/N," she smiled.

"Tea again?"

"You know it," she said, pulling out her wallet.

"I got it," I said.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, I am sure. I know you've been working hard."

She smiled, shaking her head, "I take it Ise told you?"

"Yes. And the social media posts of your recent tattoos lately."

"Business has been booming. I am grateful."

"I take it you're stressed, though."

"Very much am," she let out a sigh. "Oh, before I forget."

"Yeah?"

"You free tonight?"

"M-Me?"

"Yes, you," she chuckled.

"I-I," I found my friend and Ise were standing around the corner, vigorously nodding their heads. "I'm not doing anything tonight."

"Great. I'll meet you here, then?"

"Y-Yeah," I said, finishing up making her tea.

"See you then," she smiled, taking the cup from my hand.

Our fingers brushed over one another's as she grabbed it, heading out of the little cafe. She waved to my friend and Ise before heading out. I stood there, my mouth wide open and my eyes blinked rapidly. My friend came over and hugged me from the side.

"Look at you! Wooing Mizu like that."

"I-I didn't do anything. I-I just treated her with kindness and respected her as a person."

"And those are qualities you don't find a lot these days," Ise said.

"Yes, I remember the story you told me."

"And also, from what I heard from my friend, Mizu is not the easiest person to like. And she struggles to find people to talk to," Ise said.

"I can see why," I said.

"But this is good!" my friend said. "I know how much you've been wanting to date someone."

"I-I'm not sure I want to date Mizu. I mean, she seems nice and all and I do find her attractive, but I-I don't know."

"Just let things happen, Y/N," my friend said. "You don't have to force yourself to like someone if you don't feel like you do."

"Thanks," I said.

"We should also probably get back to work," my friend eyed the line that was starting to gather behind us.

"Oh shit," I said and turned towards the register as my friend and Ise were getting things prepared.

After we closed the cafe, I was walking out right when Mizu was walking towards the building.

"We'll see you later, Y/N," Ise and my friend said.

"Later," I said to them before turning to Mizu.

"H-Hey, Mizu."

"Hey, Y/N," she smiled. "You ready?"

"Where are we going to go?"

"I found an awesome place to show you," she said and walked off towards the outskirts of the city.

We got onto a train that led to the outer parts, where not many people lived and it would be a long hike to reach the next town over. The train stopped and Mizu got up. I followed her off the train and into the woods. The sun was starting to set and it was getting chilly. My work uniform wasn't enough to keep me warm, since I was wearing a short sleeve shirt and jeans.

"Here," Mizu said and wrapped her jacket around me.

"Thank you," I said. "W-What is here? And how did you find this place?"

"I remember a friend of mine, Ringo, told me about this place. How it's mostly woods and it's far enough from the city to where I won't get lost, but also far from the next town over. I came here one evening and started wandering around, trying to find a calm and quiet spot. Then I stumbled upon this," she pulled back some foliage and there was a large cliff ahead of us.

I stepped out of the woods and she followed behind me. I noticed she was wearing a white tank top and shorts with tennis shoes.

"How are you not cold?" I asked.

She chuckled, "The tattoo shop I work in is either freezing or boiling hot. The HVAC needs to be repaired and we're struggling right now to get it fixed. I've been working a lot more hours so that I can use what I get to help pay for the repairs. Don't worry, it's not just me who is doing that. Everyone is chipping in."

"I was gonna say," I said.

"It's the only place I will be a good person to, along with you, Ise, and your friend at the cafe."

"I don't blame you," I said.

"Come, let's sit."

We walked towards the edge of the cliff and sat down, our legs swinging in the air.

"After everything you've been through, I don't blame you for not being nice to those who aren't deserving of it."

"I should be nicer to people. They're just trying to get by and here I am, traumatized from my past."

"The healing process is a long and perilous journey."

"It truly is. I-I don't think I will ever heal."

"I know people say time heals all wounds."

"It's bullshit."

"Time heals the physical wounds, not the mental ones."

Mizu turned towards me, a look of shock on her face.

"What?" I asked.

"I always say the same thing, too."

"Well it's true. If you've been traumatized, no matter how much it hurt you, you can't easily get over that within a week. Or even a year. Hell, not even two years. Your body may be able to heal itself, but the brain and heart can't."

Mizu slowly nodded her head, "E-Exactly."

"I-I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't want this to sound like a therapy session."

"You know, no one understands any of that like you do."

"Really?"

"Yeah. A few people I have talked to have never made me feel safe. Safe in the sense of I can express my thoughts and feelings freely."

"Your thoughts and feelings are valid, Mizu," I said. "No matter what anyone says, they're valid."

"Even the dark thoughts?"

"That's a gray area. But if you don't enact on them, either if they're dark towards yourself or someone else, they're still valid to have."

"Why do you say that?"

"They're your thoughts and feelings. So they should be valid to at least you. I think it's important that they're mainly valid to you, but I do feel you need validation from others on what you're thinking. And I think everything you think, dark, light, whatever it may be, is valid. Unless you enact on the dark thoughts."

"Don't let the intrusive thoughts win," Mizu chuckled.

I chuckled with her as well, "Yeah. Don't let the intrusive thoughts win. But they're still valid."

"Thank you, Y/N," Mizu said.

"You're welcome, Mizu. And this is a great sight. Thank you for bringing me here."

"You're welcome. Want to do something like this again sometime?"

I turned and smiled at her, "I'd love to."

#mizu x reader #bes mizu #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu #blue eye samurai

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factual-fantasy · 11 months ago

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24 asks :0000 🦠🍤

@minnesotamedic186 (Post being referenced)

Not too long ago actually! And I made 7 of them! :DD

Here's my favorite/most polished post of them. But if you search up "kirby ocs" in my blogs search bar you should find most of my art of them! :}}

That's a good question.. originally I intended that she was her robe. There was gonna be a thing where Spamton stepped on her robe and she yelped in pain.

Or something where they get in a fight and River person is struck. There's a gash on her robe and it later scars.. like its skin.

But since then I've gone back and fourth. Imagining her as this shadowy creature that needs some kind of cloth in order to manifest. Kind'a like possessing her robe..? So if you took the hood off there would be no head but she's still there?? I haven't thought it through yet <XD

@housome (Post in question)

SKJAOKJF "oh and the bunny too i guess" GEE I WONDER WHO YOUR FAVORITE IS XDD

And yes! The post that goes up right after this ask post will have them in it! :}}}

ALSO THANK YOU! :DDD I'll be sure to take breaks! <XD

WAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 😭😭💖😭

Oof, that's a good question. Uhhh... I'm gonna say Sans

(XD jk its probably Seam)

He might not wound or scare Seam just to make him stretch the stiches. He would do it for other reasons-

But telling him to speak louder or more clearly? Despite the pain it causes? Oh 100% Spade king would do that. :(

aaaa I'm sorry, I haven't seen the movie yet. So I'm not sure what they'd think <:0

Is that from the Puss and Boots movie? I haven't heard it yet :0

He looks an awful lot like a regular wolf. I can see them thinking that Death is just lost in the everglades and would offer to help him 🥺

AWWEE!! THIS IS SO SWEET THANK YOU!! 😭💖😭 I'M HONORED THAT MY ARTWORK MEANS SO MUCH TO YOU!!

I hope things get better for you,, Until then at least I hope my art continues to make you feel better <:} 💖💖

I'm not sure.. I imagine that they have a list of activities that they can suggest to patrons and if they deny all of them well.. 🤷‍♂️ They'd probably just hope the kid can find something fun to do..

Glamrock Bonnie: "Same dude. Same."

Oh yeah! I can kind'a see it XD

@beryl-shade

I've never played that game,, so I'm not sure :0

But judging by the desert looking environment.? They'd turn right around and jump through another mirror <XD THEY NEED FOOD!

@bailey-dreamfoot

WAAA THANK YOU!! Also I hope you have fun in all your Pokémon adventures! :DD

@citrusfruitman

XD Don't worry its okay! Also I've heard of OMORI, but I can't say I've heard of Dialtown :0

Wow, I made that fic way back in 2019. Sadly I can't say I remember my thought process behind that. Looking back that kind'a sounds like a plot hole-

Also you were the one who had the idea for a crab comic re-write? :0 Neato! I suppose its always possible that I'll come back to it someday <XD

The main reason why Jevil cares for everyone so much is.. well, its becuase they're his friends. And he loves them.🥺 But the years of isolation would definitely play a role in his protectiveness. And I'm sure Jevil isn't comfortable going anywhere or doing anything alone..

(ALSO WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!💖💖💖)

Theoretically other people could learn the power yeah, but they would have to go through the very specific scenario that Jevil went through and have the same reaction to it that he did in order to learn how. Its not something he can really teach to others..

He was told about a way to escape this world. And after 10 years in confinement and nearly loosing all of his sanity.. he used the power in his very soul to rip through the wall of his world and escape.

If the roles were reversed and Seam went through all that, I cant say that he would have learned how to make the mirrors.. He might have just succumbed to the depression and insanity..

I suppose its possible..? But I don't think Bonnie would be willing to go that far to escape from the stress of everything. He does get breaks at night so..

@kautar-21

WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Also I don't think I ever posted a coherent storyline for Bill fragment.. but if you search "bill fragment au" in my blogs search bar you should find most of it! :0

(also sorry, I don't take requests <XD -- )

@redzephyr05

I think that sounds about right, yeah. Being more monotone and harder to read maybe. I'm not sure how he'd act in the costume,, maybe more confident? Louder and more blood thirsty?? <:DD

And yes! Little Vanessa is definitely more hesitant and nervous than Gregory. She's shy and afraid of everything- but still curious none the less.. 👀

@nevereatingpeas

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDDD

Ultimately my thoughts are, "It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be/could have been. 6 outa 10, would watch again and recommend to my friends 🎤🐻👍"

(post in question)

XD she feels safe around Seam and he is also very soft and cozy 🥺

#my response #fnaf security breach #octonauts #undertale #deltarune #jevil and seam #jevil #seam deltarune #kirby ocs #river person

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blitzsicedcoffee · 3 months ago

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Ficlet-Learning To Be Gentle

Making another ficlet while laying in bed cause I wanna write but I'm also exhausted.

Enjoy!

Timeline: Post Season 2, Bruised from the fight at his palace with Andrealphus, Stolas has lost everything and is brought back to Blitz's apartment.

Blitz pushes open the stuck door with his whole body, using his whole weight to push the dumb rusted hinges. The sudden opening of the door doesn't phase Stolas as he stares at the ground, hugging himself, feeling so very out of place here.

Blitz gestures in and when Stolas doesn't move, he hesitantly takes his hand and pulls him in slowly, Stolas letting him. Then Blitz closes the front door.

Stolas looks around but doesn't want to take in much right now, all he does take in is that it's extremely small. Of course, they're an imp and hellhound. But, he can only see three rooms. The one they're in, the restroom, and a room with many signs on it.

Blitz gestures to the couch that's beat up and rubs the back of his neck, clearly nervous as well. They haven't said a word to one another since he brought him home. But Blitz would never let him stay on the street, or ask another Goetia that barely knows him. No chance.

Blitz rubs his hands and heard Loona 's music and walks over to her door, cracking it open.

"Hey uh, we have a guest in the living room. Do you mind handing me some of your extra pillows and blankets, the floor cot you take for sleepovers, and your largest shirt?" He asks and she tilts his head, peeking behind him and widening her eyes at Stolas's defeated owl eyes and bruised face, "Oh. Yeah I'll throw them all out in a sec".

Blitz smiles, "Thanks Loonie". "No sweat", she says.

She does throw them out, right at Blitz and he growls a little as they make him fall over then he carries it all over to the space in front of the couch, collapsing it all and setting up the cot with the pillows and blankets, and handing Stolas the shirt.

Stolas holds up the oversized Verosika mayday shirt, "What's this for?" He asks. Blitz chuckles, seeing which one she picked. Of course that one.

"For you to sleep in", he replies. Stolas blinks and hesitantly takes off his clothes that admittedly feel great to peel off, sweat sticking to the fabric and his feathers. But before he puts it on he pauses.

"Could I uhm...do you have a shower?" He asks and Blitz chuckles, "Of course we have a shower what do you th-nevermind. In here", Stolas follows him to the restroom and Blitz pulls him to crouch down by the hand to make sure he doesn't hit his head on the doorframe. Then he realizes Stolas is already naked and blushes, biting his lip. He quickly digs in the closet and pulls out a folded towel and hands it to him, "Take as much time in there as you need".

Stolas nods as Blitz closes the door, giving him privacy. He takes a deep breath and prepares to squish himself in this small and messy shower, already missing his rain shower at home. A home that's no longer his. He tries to pull back tears but as the water hits his chest they fall and he starts to sob.

Blitz looks to the bathroom door with a pained expression as Loona escapes her room for a moment to grab a soda.

"I thought you two weren't sympatico at the moment", she asks, opening the can. Blitz hugs himself, "Well...it's..complicated", he rubs his arms, feeling goosebumps from thinking about just how complicated it is.

"Well, if he's going through a hard time you better be gentle with him", she says. He blinks, "Gentle..?" and looks back at her but she's already back in her room, and he looks back to the bathroom door. He drops his arms and heads into the kitchen, starting a kettle of hot water while he hears Stolas finishing up.

Stolas comes out and shivers himself, rubbing his own arms.

"Got just the thing for that", Blitz says, handing him one of his horse mugs of tea and dropping two sugar cubes in it. Stolas manages a small smile, "Thank you. What kind?" He asks. Blitz's mouth forms a line, "Kind?"

"Kind of tea, dear?" He asks again, sitting on the couch and Blitz sits next to him, pulling a blanket over both their legs. Well, most of Stolas's legs.

"Uh...black? Its the only kind Loonie had. Sorry" he replies, starting to flip through the channels.

Stolas sips it, "That's alright. I don't think I can sleep tonight anyway".

"Yeah it's been a long day. Do you wanna watch a movie? Doesn't have to be something serious. We can just turn our brains off and watch something", Blitz asks and goes to put his hand on Stolas's thigh, bringing him out of his dissociation.

"What? Oh, sure", he replies and looks back down at his tea. Watching the sugar melt the rest of the way.

Blitz wonders if Stolas blames him for losing everything. It wouldn't be the first time he's made someone he loves lose everything.

"What about this uh- sappy romance movie?" He asks Stolas and taps his thigh gently again, "Stols? You there?"

Stolas hesitantly looks up, "Hmm? Sure. I thought you didn't like rom coms".

Blitz smirks, "I can be swayed for the right person".

Stolas blushes and looks away, continuing sipping his tea as Blitz presses play.

They start the movie and Stolas pulls Blitz's legs over his lap for more warmth. Blitz wrapping his tail around his leg too.

"I-is that alright?" He asks Stolas and he nods, and Blitz takes that as enough of a sign to lean his head on Stolas's shoulder as well. This shit movie was actually pretty funny, as well as warranting "Awws" from Stolas every few minutes.

At the end of the movie, Blitz goes to reach for the remote only to be stuck in place by a sleeping owl. And suddenly his sleeping coos are obvious. He looks up at him and smiles, kissing his cheek gently, and curling up closer to him to attempt to fall asleep as well.

#helluva boss #blitzø #stolitz #helluva boss blitzo #blitz #stolas #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss stolitz #helluva stolitz #ficlet #helluva boss fanfiction

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williamaltman · 7 months ago

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Ok, so... I finally finished Room No.9. I have some mixed feelings...

The third route was really sweet. There are so many sweet moments between them. In Daichi's narration. The tasks of hurting Daichi were kind of nervewracking, but not too much really. The way the whole post-enema shower thing turns out makes me, again, sad at how that went on the end B/C route, because it really, really was avoidable...

I won't even talk much about ending E. It just feels like the "wrong/bad" option of the route. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to take that Seiji is really fine and distanced himself like on ending D, or if he got taken out by the people responsable for the study. Anyway, it doesn't really feel "real", even less than endings D or B.

The F ending one... Yay, they got out, they're fine, they're still friends.... They're still friends. Ugh. It's so frustrating to hear Daichi talking about just forgetting everything that happened. Like, yeah, I get wanting to "leave the room behind", but that he straight up says he'll just ignore it? That they didn't learn ANYTHING really? Even after that sex scene? Come on. They even have Seiji saying he doesn't want to get married, and Daichi talking about maybe drifting apart because they would have their own families, as if to hammer home the point that they'll really stay just friends?

Look, I can kind of appreciate the feeling of holding onto your friendship. I do. I managed to appreciate it after the other endings where that is lost. But that should be like, one of the endings. Or maybe, not even that. If it was one or the other, there should've been a romantic ending. There should've been a romantic ending one way or another. Because it's honestly so frustrating that at the end of all that they're still in denial. Or at least Daichi.

Like, again, I get valuing friendship, but Daichi is SO IN LOVE. Like he's so in love it's stupid. I'm sorry but there re SO, SO MANY LINES THAT SHOW THAT!!! Not just the ones where he generally compliments Seiji as in appreciating his good qualities as a person, but like, the ones where he notes how attractive he is. And there are a lot of those, some horny ones but also some that are neither platonic nor sexual, just, romantic. There's no way they really wrote some of those with us not meant to think that.

I guess the writers didn't want for there to be just one ending that was fully great and satisfying above all the others? I don't know. I guess ending C is the romantic one? Sure, whatever...

I don't want to read too much into it but it really does feel like the game is sort of trying to send the message that lust/physical attraction and a true/pure love are inheretly incompatible? Like it's a good thing that they'll only stay friends and never have sex or even kiss again? Like that's the only option because anything else is just a ruined friendship? I really hope that wasn't the creators' intentions.

In the end I guess I can still headcanon that in the F ending they will eventually come to terms with being in love and getting together. Who knows. Maybe I'll write something.

I'm a bit disappointed to end this with such a sour taste in my mind. I, overall, really loved the game. But I'd be lying if I said this (the way the "good ending" goes and no romance issue) doesn't make me really sad. I saw people sort of complaining about it, but I thought it was just gonna be that they didn't outright said they were in love/gonna be in a relationship but that was still implied, you know? That's what that CG in the train looked like to me... Like I saw someone frustrated that they didn't talk about their feelings but I thought it was just gonna be something like "but after everything Seiji and I are even closer" as they held hands implying a romance.

Anyways. Still a great game overall. I love the premise, the characters, the unsettling vibe that we're able to feel, the sweetness in it, all the horniness and guilt and exploration of the human psychology. The art, the voice acting, all the technical aspects. I guess it's really over. I've been finally freed from room no.9. 🫡

#room no.9 #room no. 9 #room no 9 #daichi kobayashi #kobayashi daichi #seiji azumi #azumi seiji #daichi x seiji #daisei #is that their ship name?#i think i've seen it somewhere

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livewireprojects · 6 months ago

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Pride Month 2024 Sonic Sketches

Second pic made in Procreate, kinda excited about it

Made a few sketches for pride month, kind of started out with a comic were Silver comes out to his mom as bisexual along with a pic of Blaze after telling her dad then decided to draw everyone at a pride parade & showing their pride

Everyone here is kind of based on my own ideas for the characters especially Mephiles since anything involving him has to do with the version I made for him for post-06 reboot. Also some stuff is in color(Blaze's forehead gem, Cosmo's necklace, Amy's headband, Sonic's hair clip, ghost aura stuff) cause it seemed fitting due to the meanings behind the colors on the pride flag.(Like purple for soul)

Middle row

Like the text says Blaze told her dad & he made her a frog hat to support her. He's a nice/friendly guy that cares a lot, it's unfortunate that Blaze's late mom was so terrible & left with Blaze for her own intentions.

Rouge & Knuckles at pride, I was a little worried about how well I got Rouge's bisexual flag makeup. I eventually fixed up the lipstick & added matching earrings. Knuckles unintentionally looks like a pirate cause I can't draw his hat at angles. So yeah my version of Knuckles & Rouge are bi, Knuckles use to date Sonic(in my ver) & Rouge has some interest in women in the past.(Especially Topaz at one point)

Here's Blaze & Silver, Silver has a bi flag cardigan. Pretty much at some point the two realized together they're bi. They eventually told their parents(well Blaze's mom is gone so she only told her dad) & they luckily have supportive families.

Surge isn't in my Lost Prince stuff but I thought she & Amy were cute together in the fanart people made. I also think Metal was interesting with Amy, at some point gets with her in the future in my Lost Prince AU. Metal at some point stops working for Eggman & tries to make their own identity after a talk with Sonic especially since they were becoming more sentient. Metal wasn't sure what he wanted but eventually figured things out.

Right row

The context of the sign is that this is meant to be Tails, Cosmo(revived as a plant/mobian chipmunk hybrid) & Cream when they're older & in their teens or later. The time skip is mostly cause at the moment Cream is pretty young in present day, Tails is too but he's slightly older. I guess you could say Tails & Cosmo had a puppy love or something then things got serious when they were older when Cosmo returned then later Cream joined them.

Cream is pretty accepting of who she's into, I dunno what Cosmo is into(I guess technically bi since she's dating Tails & later Cream when Cream joined the couple), Tails I think maybe straight but I dunno. At the very least Tails is supportive of his friends & brother.

Context for this is just I wanted to add Vanilla & her late spouse so them from the future. Added Vector cause him & Vanilla are kinda cute so he's her relationship from the future. So Vanilla's late partner is my OC Cake who despite willing to be called a dad by their kids(Cream & at some point Sonic cause I like the idea of the rabbits adopting him) & only them, Cake was nonbinary. The rabbit family is pretty accepting of people.

Decided to bring in Gadget & Zero/Infinite, the guy in the corner is Zero's late dad who I'll explain at a late point

And then there's these three. I'm not entirely sure what my thoughts on Shadow & Mephiles are, at some point I think I realized demisexual felt right for Shadow. Like I said before any of my thoughts on Mephiles are specifically for the version I made of him for post-reboot in Sonic 06. I was originally thinking of giving him the male gay pride flag but given what I've done with him in Lost Prince AU I kinda realized he fits in with demisexual too. While my version of Sonic identifies as male he likes dressing in whatever he wants & isn't exactly gender-conforming.

Sonic mostly dressed up for pride & tied a pride flag to his neck like a cape. For some reason Mephiles is the only one I tried making designs for on his outfit.

Here's a cropped version of the comic. Pretty much Silver & Blaze realized they were bisexual, at some point Silver got the courage to tell his mom & later his dads.*

For some context Silver's mom is male & in a relationship with men*, he's pretty accepting so Silver doesn't need to worry much. However his worries are understandable because of being around Blaze a lot & seeing how her mom treated her. Blaze's mom was strict & caused a lot of issues that Blaze is still recovering from. Blaze left with Silver & Venice at some point leading to meeting her dad & becoming estranged from her mom. Her mom is gone now but as said Blaze is still recovering. Silver's family(along with Blaze's dad) understand & reassure Silver, Venice & Blaze that the three are accepted/safe.

*I dunno if the marriage is legal at best I know Silver's dad & his mom's marriage is legal. Venice's(Venice is Silver's half brother) dad went missing for a few years(Eggman was behind it) & ended up joining the relationship after being rescued/talking things out. Venice's dad was able to be part of the wedding as another groom but I dunno if this counts as official/legal by human standards.(I guess technically official by Mobian standards)

Thought I'd make a version without the color for everyone to see. The text about the frog hat is missing because it was connected to the frame I made for the comic involving Silver & his mom.

#my art #oc #sonadow #taiream #metamy #silvaze #tailsmo #mephonic #mephadonic #infidget #surgamy #pride month #pride 2024 #lost prince au #procreate #Knuxouge

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dandelion-wings · 5 months ago

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oho are you asking for rarest rarepairs? because i like my rare pairs raw (and apparently full of brats)

from vague canon evidence if you break your neck in the right way to whomst'd've the fuck and why, I got:

Venti/Hu Tao

Furina(post archon quest)/Hu Tao

Rana/Jeht (though i think you've already talked about this one?)

Focalors/Venti

Focalors/Guizhong

Sorry to respond to this over a month later--all my spoons fell in the insinkerator about the time this ask came in, and I put it aside for when I had more energy and, uh, forgot about it. >>;; But I was delighted to find it again today!

Venti/Hu Tao

We all agree that Hu Tao 100% clocked Venti in last year's Lantern Rite event, right? And she's pulling the same "I'm going to pretend I don't know but I totally know" she does with Zhongli, right? Except Venti thinks it's fucking hilarious, and the "I know you know I know you know I know" we don't see during Waterborne Poetry was a fantastic game for them both.

And since we have Waterborne Poetry as an event, it would be fun to build it off that! It might take some massaging of specific timeline details because they just? sort of dropped several characters and the actual event? at the end, but I'm gonna be honest I didn't love the last few beats of that event anyway. It felt like it kind of puttered out disappointingly after a lot of initial promise, so I wouldn't mind the opportunity to rewrite some of that. Anyway, this would be a "behind the scenes" where Hu Tao and Venti continue to coordinate the actual event in the background while everyone else is doing the quests, being playful and teasing and occasionally deep and profound with each other (because they both do that exact vibe well), with a slow-burn growing interest that sort of kicks into higher gear when the rest of the group comes back and recounts the Finch/Callirhoe moment. Because, like, Hu Tao's not normal but she sure is mortal, and Venti knows how to enjoy fleeting pleasures and she is definitely not missing her shot, so- yeah. They go for it. XD

Furina/Hu Tao

Once again leveraging an event, I'd hang that off of their appearances in Chenyu Village in the latest Lantern Rite. Hu Tao (who thought Furina was both cute and fun to fluster in their first meeting there) ends up going to Fontaine to help with the spooky movie props mentioned in that conversation. She is essentially vacationing under the pretense of a "business trip," though she is indeed interested in Furina's play/movie and has a lot of suggestions to make, both helpful and otherwise; since she is stealing the chance at a vacation, though, she also makes Furina take her around to see the sights "as a token of our business partnership!" So they have some cute moments at all the good tourist spots, some cute interludes having tea together, and at least one deep and thoughtful conversation about mortality and the joys and sorrows thereof... and that eventually blooms into kissing in the back room of the theater.

Rana/Jeht

We have talked about this one, yes! Though I don't recall exactly what I said at the time, so I'll just answer as the meme prescribes: I would write this one using that bit about Jeht and her mercenary band accompanying a lost group of Akademiya scholars back to the jungle. Then they take a job there that puts them in proximity with Rana, either as a member of the group they're helping/escorting or hired separately as a local guide, and they go on a very classic jungle-adventure-with-budding-romance where traveling and fighting side-by-side forges bonds that turn into more. I like the idea of a bunch of side characters in the expedition who help with their development--I think Jeht could use a wise older woman who is as unlike Babel as possible, for one--and it's up in the air whether it ends with Rana joining Jeht's band, or Jeht (who does have so, so much trauma to process) deciding she needs to continue on alone for a while and them sharing a last kiss and promising to meet again some day. And then I say I'll write that reunion and don't actually touch it for six+ years.

Focalors/Venti

I absolutely could write any of these outside the constraints of canon, so much of my fic is AU, but I think this would be most interesting to me as in some kind of space between Focalors being designated Egeria's successor, and the separation into Furina-as-humansona and Focalors-in-the-Oratrice. Venti goes to visit the new Hydro Archon ostensibly to get to know one of the new ones; they have secret, quiet conversations about Celestia and the Thrones and what might make it possible to break one, and at what cost; and then it's not so much a romance here as, Focalors always did want to experience more than her divine self ever will get to, and, well- a bard is an expert at stirring passions, after all, and making a night's entertainment seem a grand and sweeping experience.

Focalors/Guizhong

TBH I don't know whether I missed a lot of Guizhong characterization in my years-ago rush through Liyue or if I'm just not good at putting together the threads we get from events, but she remains kind of a cipher to me? I have just enough of a mental picture of her to suffice for my Ping/Xianyun sadfic and that's about it. But given when Guizhong died vs. when Focalors ascended, while there could be material in itty baby Focalors meeting her (and in fact it could fit into the backstory of this), what I think I'd do is have it be separated by time: some mechanism Guizhong created is what Focalors comes across (or acquires in that itty baby-era meeting) that gives her the basis of the Oratrice, and the fic is her taking it apart, analyzing it, and rebuilding it to her purposes, learning what she can about Guizhong and her other works to help her with that analysis, and reflecting on this god she never, or barely, knew, who died in an effort to save her people. The romance is (obviously) one-sided and over centuries and is in many ways Focalors fantasizing about this idealized lover in order to drive her forward on her own, difficult, ultimately self-destructive mission. Though she is also, y'know, feasting on her own mental fanfic about the drama of it all. XD

#why not meme i guess #asked and answered

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a-s-levynn · 1 year ago

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@lovingache @reveries-of-my-mind @sleepanonymous Sorry you had to wait this much but i fell asleep and then work happend and i rewrote the entire post because it made so little sense and yeah..

I certainly can't be brief with this so i'm gonna insert a cut but if you are interested, this is what ST helped and still helps me work through during my still ongoing journey of selfacceptance.

It is kind of messy, there is a lot of rambling and wandering of thoughts but finally here it is.

A lot of this is, i'm sure of it, is going to sound very familiar to you because there is a reason we gravitate towards Sleep Token. Yeah memes are fun, much shapes, the guys are cryptids, Vessel has a nice body, III is the fun chaos noodle ballerina whatever, II is cute how he simps for Vessel from behind the drumkit when he isn't destroying it, IV is obejctively the sexy one and all the shenanigens. Whatever. We all know. BUT. If we are honest we love all of it because how it was built up. Because we are all a bit broken inside in ways. And we have a way to channel it in a way many of us never been able to before. We are allowed to be broken and exist in a space where it is okay. It is understood. Like.. Never in my entire life been so comfortable with the scars on my arms as is was when i was waiting in que before an ST ritual. Just sayin..

But back to the topic. Sorry i'm prone to wander.

It's hard to get this together in a way that isn't too much about me but it is not an easy task let me tell you. I'll put a link to an abbreviated version of how i got to be the person i am because it retrospectively will add some additional context to this entire thing, but that's fully optional. But first:

a little context on how i fell into the ST pit anyway: I first found them when the second ep released. I liked the look, i checked them out solely because that masked look interesting, but i really did not vibed with the music. I wasn't listening to the lyrics.

Next time they came into my field of vision before the release of TPWBYT. I still wasn't fully sold but there were a few tracks that got trough to me from Sundowning. Still not all of it. I wasn't paying attention still.

And then the end of last year came and something started an itch in my brain to take them out again.. and i finally sat down and read the lyrics properly. I never in my entire life sobbed so uncontrollably like when i first experienced Atlantic with actually paying attention to the lyrics.

And then the TMBTE singles started to release, then the album came. It's not a coincidence i said it's akin to a pilgrimage. It was an emotional pilgrimage to me, and still is every time i do it. And i was fairly normal about all of it. It hit me for sure, but i actually was lost when i finally saw them live. It just broke through like a dam in a flood. That concentrated energy is something that is hard to describe. Anyway. Now here i am.

So the things Sleep Token helped me with, that 10+ years of objectively unsuccesful therapy miserably failed to achieve.

being able to cry properly

being unapologetic about what i like

being able to start to feel my feelings

being unashamed by feelings that are generally considered problematic

being able to process in a much more healthy way if something is not okay in my head

ST gave me a healthier coping album to listen to when i'm on my lows

I'm not saying i'm perfectly fine by a weave of a magical drumstic, what i'm saying is that i stab myself significantly less when i can't focus for the life of me.

So maybe go over the bulletpoints i guess?

1. crying

With ST i felt finally seen in a way i never had before. I never was a cryer, but since i actually got into ST, i do sometimes. Not all the time but probably a far healthier amount then before. Because not crying is unhealthy. It doesn't make you strong and all that crap. It just adds to the unnecessary weight you carry. Some realize this sooner and i'm so happy for them beause it is important.

2. being unapologetic of my interests

I meantioned it before, an it was what sprang this entire long ass post to existance, but let it be here as well: i was unlearning a lot of thing and being apologetic over what i like is one for them. And i was progressively better and better at it, but like lately it just blew through the stratosphere because one cannot talk about Sleep Token and not sound kind of mental at least a bit. And at this point i don't give a shit. I like what i like, it doesn't hurt anyone. If someone laughs at me for it? Good for them at least i made them smile.

The context of this is a friendgroup i was in from around 14 to 20 and it had good paarts but ultimately was an emotionally controlling one, which i realized far too late. And it already created patterns and habits. Needless to say, i don't talk to any of them anymore.

3. feeling the feelz

This is where i'm going to start to sound really weird i think but who knows.. maybe more of you are in the same shoes than i would think.

From a considerably young age i was repressing basically every strong emotion possible. Happyness, sadness, excitement even anger to a certain degree. It started with the sadness, and emotional pain but as with everything it spiraled out to the rest of my emotions. I was also basically in a constant fight or flight mode which just propells you forward at any given time, when you should have stopped to feel shit.

And after a while that creates this weird dissonance of not really feeling anything and at the same time having the empathy, emotional maturity and social awareness to understand how others feel in given situations. Moreover i was acutely aware how i should feel in certain moments, it just.. never really happend. I knew the correct answers to the proverbial questions but my brain just put up a wall and never let me actually feel anything. I was simply empty.

This created the perfect blank slate for me to be the quote on quote emotional mirror for all my friends and even family at times. So usually people came and still come to me to be a sort of free therapist or something like that. Just spitballing what they are going through and reflecting it back to help them understand. And don't get me wrong i love helping people, i really do, and also when the conversation is over, some of their relief is left behind for me and it was at least something.

But at the end of the day i was constantly left with this feeling of "who am i in all this?" , "where is the person whom i can call me?" and that is a very lonely place of being. Especially when you are younger. (This is i think, at least partially, why i may have caught on to the vibe what Vessel supposed to be about. Because either i like it or not, i get what it's like. At least a version of it. To be so empty that anything and everything that creates the illusion of feeling something, anything, it is good enough for the moment.)

And here comes Sleep Token again. Because the songs are highly, highly emotional. And here comes the brilliance of Vessel as a character because by design a vessel is a blank slate. Could be anyone, because it is supposedly empty. Which is a very familiar state of being for me. And that is what made for me so easy to connect and by proxy going through the motions and start to get eased into being comfortable with feeling things again.

It still in it's infancy, that is why i'm a wreck at days, because i'm still relearning stuff that was last natural for me around two decades ago. But i wanna get there. When i can just feel, without guidance. But this is something none of my supposedly professional therapist knew what to do with.

And here comes this british sadboy with his masks and bodypaint and i'm finally nudged away from point zero? Yeah, you can bet your ass i'll take my chances and be grateful for the rest of my life no matter how far it gets me. If it is a tenth of an inch than it is a tenth of an inch. It is still more progress than i ever had before.

4. being unashamed of feelz

Sounds contradictory to the previous point but not really. If you ever felt.. for example let's say obession, true obession you know it's not like any other feeling. It works differently. Not easily controllable and it could lead to anger and rage, end in agression, all sorts of not so great things.

These are stuff we all try to repress for understanable reasons. This is the stuff we know are bad because they usually can lead to bad things. We hear it all our lives. They aren't bad. Not necesseraly. So we shouldn't be afraid to feel them. Not without understanding they are there, either one wants it or not. These are just as natural than any other feeling and no less dangerous than the rest.

They are part of the human condition. But we need to learn to live with them and control them. Repressed things tend to just explode one day and that is when the damage happens. When something can exist in a controlled enviroment, and can be observed from different angles it can be understood. And we are usually not afraid of things we understand. We deal with them. That is the whole point.

And yet again, obsession is a heavy and somewhat recurring theme in ST lyrics either actually or on a meta level if you pay attention. And the way it is presented and integrated into the whole of the story created with the discography is what solidifies it as, a thing than can be observed. It can be understood.

And the honesty of how it is presented what makes me comfortable with the fact that no, i'm not a freak, i'm not abnormal because of it. But there is a conscientious choice to be made how i deal with it. How i learn to direct it to something positive and create something with it, insted of going the other way.

It's like murder. Everyone thinks about it. It doesn't mean everyone is a potential murderer waiting to snap. Fuck no. But we do think about it. Is it okay to think about it a lot? It's not my place to decide how much is too much. But thinking isn't the problem. It is how we talk about the fact that we think about it, can be a problem. Anyway i'm diverging to much into philosophising territories. It happens, sorry.

5. processing the mess in my head

This is a pretty straightforward one actually. My mind is a mess. My long term memory is patchy, the short term one is barely existant. I understand a lot of the world in certain ways but i know so little in others. ST makes me think a lot more.

I always catch a word or a phrase or a line, maybe a verse, that lodges itself behind my eye for a time and i just keep it rolling. Associating on it, connecting it to other stuff. It stops me for a minute and forces me to roll an idea over and over and over and over again in my head and just run with it until i end up with some sort of epiphany.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be the smallest thing, something like a shiny glass ball in a box of far more interesting toys. But it is my glass ball, I picked the colour inside.

6. a healthier coping album

Yeah this one.. So for the longest time when my mind got murky and getting too lost into the void, music was what could drag me out of it. Since i was a kid, the album that could kick me back towards the tracks was Phobia from Breaking Benjamin. I put it on an usually by the end of it i sort of was back on a functioning state. Not a good place but a functionig one. But if you ever heard the album in it's entirety, it is hardly an uplifting one.

Now when i feel low i roll the first two ST albums in sequence. By the time i reach missing limbs i feel actually better. My mom put it to words really well when she said "I don't understand the words of what this man is singing about but i can guess he is not happy. Is it about sad things right? I feel that. But i like it because it feels more comforting instead of making me sad as well." And that i thinks sums it up pretty well. Because it is no longet the outstreched hand of you-are-not-alone but the outstreched soul that cries you-can-find-yourself-in-me. And that is the definition of comforting for me. (Yes i love that phrace because it fits, let me be proud of myself for saying something that sounds good for once.)

And that is pretty much it for now. There should be a few more things ST is a reasonably large part of my self-journey but i've gotta think on it more i think. I'm not even sure i realize all of it.

I'll link a separete post here at the end which sums up how i got to this place i am. It is heavily abbreviated but it is still feels too long. It is certainly far more personal than this but i think it adds context to what was written above. But i don't want to clutter this one with that kind of personal stuff, also it's just an optional thing for anyone who wishes to maybe understand me a bit better and where i come from. [link to said post] Just for the record: this post does mention mental a physical abuse (no sexual one), self harm, mental issues, so all the fun stuff, but does not detail it.

#levynn tries to think #i wasn't joking about it being an essay #length-wise it certainly is #this is probably either gonna cost me followers or no one is going to read it because it's long as hell #sleep token

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