#yeah so this was literally just a brain fart

[who-can-touch-my-boob]

<- Sanemi simp posts masterlist

He’s a funny guy!

I just feel like Sanemi would be such a funny guy in private. In public he’s maintaining his tough-guy and grumpy exterior — not letting anyone see more than a scowl.

But imagine, he probably never had the chance to truly be a child, either he’s being beaten by his scumbag-dickfaced-asshole-father, or he has to help raise his younger siblings and work.

So when he’s grown up and meets his s/o, who’s blankly ignoring his attempts at remain aloof and brings out a side of him he never knew he had.

Suddenly Sanemi is running around playing tag, climbing trees, tickle fights, prank-wars, staring contests (he’d win this one because the dude doesn’t blink). Sanemi’s s/o doesn’t only give him the love and safety he’s always wanted, needed.

But also a safe environment for him to be himself and not be afraid.

When he truly became comfortable in his own skin, he even allows others to see more than his cold and angry demeanour — for people to hear his genuine laugh and see him smiling wholeheartedly. And Sanemi doesn’t care what anyone thinks, because he’s genuinely feeling happy and free — and like a child again.

He starts to play prank on others too and has learned the art of comical timing — so the first time I delivers a smooth one-liner during a Hashira meeting everyone just stares at him in shock, did the Wind Hashira just tell a joke?

Sanemi freezes momentarily as the room falls into an awkward silence, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. The blush tinting his cheeks is unmistakeable and he regrets ever listening to his s/o about trying to be funny with anyone else.

As he’s about to speak again, somehow, hopefully salvage his dignity, the whole room bursts into laughter after the initial shock wears off.

Sanemi tries (and fails) to hide the slight smug expression and the bubbly warmth spreading through him when his attempt at humour hit the mark.

“Welcome home, Sanemi. How did the Hashira meeting go?” He immediately catches his s/o in his arms as he’s greeted with a hug at the front door. He gazes down into those familiar eyes and recognise the flicker of mischief in them.

“I know what you’re really asking… and yeah, the joke was a success. But we need to brainstorm for more jokes because now those damn people expect more.”

His home is filled with laughter and love and together with his s/o they start to plan future jokes and pranks together almost like two children.

[verysium]

This is such crack brain fart idea 😶

What if some blue lock boys ask the reader what brand her shoes (or something dumb like that) over text and reader sent them a voice message on text and it’s just:

“Hi baby, okay so the brand is—- *insert car accident noises*”

Have you seen those TikToks???

If you do this request, it can be any blue lock boys you want

HELPPP i saw something similar on hinge, and i was hunched over the side of my bed laughing for like 20 minutes. in general, i don't think pranks with any of the bllk boys would go well (unless you wanted to be punted like a football, american-style) but i'm taking a risk today, so here you go:

sae sees through your bullshit in a peloponnesian minute. he has morning practice, three interviews, and a daily nap to get to, so what makes you think he has time for you to fake a car accident? leaves you on read. (brutal, i know.)

rin is mildly concerned, but he's too smart to fall for whatever prank you have planned. he'd probably reply with a sarcastic, dry ass response or a deadpan emoji. refuses to talk to you for the rest of the day because what if you actually got into a car accident? he would lose all sanity. tbh he can't stand it when people make light of serious situations even if it's just a lighthearted joke.

kaiser is petty. he sends you an official funeral invite titled "in loving memory of y/n." he personally designed it in photoshop and even added those tacky glitter rose GIF animations on the front. coincidentally, everyone in your immediate circle also happened to receive the same mass email chain with those invites, so you had to explain to your family, friends, and co-workers that (1) you did not in fact die in a car accident and (2) your funeral is not set for the 15th. (you never played a prank on michael again.)

isagi freaks out. he's calling 911/119, whatever emergency service there is. immediately calls you and nearly breaks down in fear of losing you. when you tell him it was merely a prank, he laughs in relief but internally he's cursing you out with every colorful name in existence.

ness is isagi but even more high-strung. there is no time to call the ambulance in his mind. he's already thundering down the highway looking for the evidence of your car wreck. calls you and screams ballistically into the speaker: "WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" so yeah....don't ever play a prank on ness. it's for your sake, not his.

shidou takes you up one notch and sends a picture of himself in the emergency room with a cast on his leg and an IV drip. this spawn of satan took your message literally and decided to copy you and got into a real car accident. so now you have to take time off work and sign the hospital discharge papers because he listed you as his sole emergency contact.

nagi doesn't give a shit. he's already chronically online, and reo's played pranks on him before. probably texts you an "ok" and then tells you he's run out of toilet paper again, so you need to stop by the store to buy some.

reo matches your energy. he replies with: oh yeah, i've heard of that brand. it's the—*insert sound of trucks colliding and screeches across asphalt* you both had a good laugh after.

ok that's all i have for now. this is going to reach a very niche demographic, but you're welcome.

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 3 Review

‼️ SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER ‼️

Warning(s): extreme use of foul language.

Aurora is not pregnant.

I don’t believe it for a second, that cow is lying through her teeth. I already mentioned in the second chapter review that she just couldn’t be pregnant because there are three major reasons that easily disprove her claim.

First, it’s the amount of time that passed by. It has been a few months since Season 4 and the manga, around four months to be exact. And yet, Aurora’s stomach appears to be completely flat. How is this possible? Shouldn't there be a visible bump by now?

Second, season 3’s artbook already confirmed that Aurora was a manipulative woman and wanted to reflect it with her design (by having her hair covering one of her eyes) so who’s to say she’s telling the truth right now??

Third, @kilfeur pointed out in this post that if she was pregnant, Armand would not have allowed her to fly high up in the cloudy sky to gain knowledge about the Eliatrope goddess' eliaculus. Armand was already worried about Aurora when she went up, and the thought of her flying high while carrying their future child would have made him refuse the idea entirely, as he feared it could put their unborn child in danger.

So yeah, this skank is clearly lying her ass off just to manipulate the sadidas so that they could take her side. She’s so fucking petty omg I cannot deal with her. And her father is even worse my god wipe that ugly ass smile off your face you fatass.

This man clearly wants power that’s outside his kingdom. He just wants more even if it doesn’t belong to him and it painfully shows because he won’t stop making this fart face.

But it’s okay because as soon as Amalia opens her mouth, he immediately stops looking like a dumbass and immediately FROWNS because he knows she’s spitting FACTS.

And this is the only reason why I loved this moment. Amalia literally put him in his place and shut him up.

Amalia on the first panel: “What right do you return after you have shamelessly abandoned us? The osamodas kingdom, the nations of Bonta, Brakmar, Amakna, Astrub…”

Amalia on the second panel: “We asked you to come help us!”

Amalia on the third panel: “BUT NO ONE CAME! It was the future of the world that was at stake, not just the Sadida Kingdom!!!”

LIKE YES GIRL YES FUCKING DESTROY THIS OLD WASTE OF SPACE!!!

She literally dragged him on the fucking floor with all these facts omg I can’t she’s such a queen I love her so much. 💖💖

But then, instead of just taking it all like a good boy, this old bag of furry bones only had one thing to say and it was:

Osamodas blue cow king: “You give honor to your egocentrism, Amalia…”

Bruh what.

What are you talking about, you crusty old bat?

She drops so many facts and events that happened and this guy’s only comeback is “you’re being selfish 🥺😡”. Like what the fuck was even that???

Dude if you’ve got nothing to say, then don’t say anything but don’t just blurt out the first thing that comes out of your mouth??? Like what??

This is the equivalent of a detective who presented all the proofs that you committed the crime and the only thing you have to say is “your mama”.

Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse for this guy, he says:

Osamodas blue cow king: “My soldiers would have beat these creatures just as efficiently as yours.”

Oh yeah, where were they then, you fucking liar??? The worst part about this is that you didn’t even try hiding the fact that you would’ve been ‘ready’ but you’re so dumb you have no idea how brain-dead that makes you sound right now. You’re saying you could’ve sent your men BUT YOU DIDN’T DO SHIT. WHAT’S WORSE IS THAT YOU KNEW THE SADIDAS NEEDED HELP CUZ UR STUPID DAUGHTER FLED TO GO BACK TO YOU.

Also didn’t you once claim that Armand’s army was weaker than yours but then all of a sudden you’re now saying that your army could’ve beat the necromes like theirs did???

(oh oop- Armand don’t kill him yet 😭)

Bitch doesn’t even know what he’s talking about anymore. I doubt he even knows wtf he’s saying half the time.

Are you dumb???? Are you actually suffering from constipation????

You’re implying that you were free to help and that you knew they needed help. YOU’RE INDIRECTLY SAYING THAT YOU KNEW AND DIDN’T HELP DESPITE HAVING THE TIME TO DO SO.

While the old fart is yapping, Yugo’s face is just so 🫤😑 I’ve been staring at this panel for 2 minutes now and I love how fucking out of it he looks while listening to the cow 😭 Actually, I’m not even sure if he’s listening, I think he’s just hearing him from one ear but it all goes out on the other side. He looks like a god who’s about to squash an annoying ass ant lol

He’s literally like “is this bitch fr?”

Like Yugo is 100% confident to say that the osamodas king had no idea what the hell he was talking about when he thought his troops and he would’ve been able to fight off the necromes.

Yugo: “You have absolutely no idea what we saved you from!”

Yugo’s making that face cuz he knows the king has no clue what he’s barking about. (Also can’t Yugo just use his wakfu sensing abilities to check if Aurora is actually carrying another twelvian?? Or is he not able to do that because an unborn child does not have wakfu yet?) Little blue bro doesn’t know what necromes even are cuz Yugo never told him about them so how the hell was he supposed to know if his men would’ve stood a chance???? No seriously is this cow okay? Why is he talking? Is he talking just for the sake of talking?? Is he that self-conscious that he’ll make up lies on the spot just to protect his image??? The cow king doesn’t even know that the necromes had a leader. Yugo and Amalia are dealing with a fucking grown-ass child omg.

Osamodas blond cow: “I left because I made the promise to my dear Armand.”

This is a lie. Armand never heard of any promise. An analysis conducted by @geekgirles even indicated otherwise, supporting that the claim made by Aurora was fake. According to the analysis, Aurora was more inclined towards her family than her new life with Armand, and the claim that he made any promises to her was baseless. If you wish to read the detailed analysis conducted by @geekgirles on this matter, you can find all of it in this post.

I’ll now explain to you, in my own words, why her bullshit is hot donkey ass. Keep in mind that the whole reason why she left was to protect “the child” aka “the future heir”. As I said before, Aurora couldn’t have promised Armand anything because he knew she still held a bit too much on her osamodas family. From what we’ve seen, Aurora had the time to go back to the Osamodas kingdom to check up on them because of the eliaculus in the skies, had sided with her osamodas family during the meeting with the eliatrope goddess, had tried to marry off Amalia to one of her brothers and cousin, deliberately brought some of her relatives to Armand’s coronation to….stand around, and even keeps her father around in the Sadida kingdom when he should either be ruling his own kingdom or go back to his cave. Armand is not a moron. He knows that she constantly brings her own family to a place that doesn’t need them. So when he’s about to sacrifice his life unbeknownst to Amalia, he tells her this:

“The future is yours.”

Armand had passed the torch to Amalia.

It's worth noting that this is a crucial moment because he chooses not to pass the leadership to his own wife, Aurora. This decision is based on the fact that Aurora is heavily influenced by her family and is unable to make independent choices. At the same time, he also chooses not to give it to someone else who is just as important.

And that is the imaginary baby that Aurora is carrying.

Remember that the baby doesn't exist, and that's an important fact to keep in mind. Armand, who still loves Aurora, doesn't trust her enough to give her the leading role, or any role for that matter, especially not one that involves a child they could potentially have together. Instead, he gave the role to his sister. Aurora knows this and is fully aware that her promise to him was never even a thing. In Armand’s mind, it wouldn't have mattered if she ran away because he never intended to give her a part of the kingdom’s responsibilities in the first place, even though her getting away like that would have hurt his heart.

And Aurora is over here saying that her dad will help her lead the sadidas while she’s pregnant, girl sit your ass down no one called for you. Hoe thought she was in the same group as freaking warriors, shut up. You clearly want your father to rule for a much longer time literally wtf.

Osamodas blond cow: “During my pregnancy, my father will help me lead the kingdom…and I also count on him to train the future heir.”

It's concerning that her explanation might make sense to the sadidas. I'm not sure how she managed it, but that skank made it sound like her father would automatically assist her in ruling the Sadida Kingdom (despite them being Osamodas) since she would be pregnant and without aid due to Armand's demise. And after her baby would be born, her father would train him under his guidance to make him become strong and successful. She made it sound like a simple plan with no problems attached to it. She hasn’t even mentioned if the “baby” was an osamodas or a sadida. She only mentioned the gender, that the baby was a male (in French, when she calls the unborn child “the heir” she says it by using male pronouns).

Hey, Aurora what happens when your lie doesn’t work anymore because your stomach will still stay flat after eight months? You’re gonna tell the people that you swallowed the baby or something? That it fell down? What happens when you can’t keep up with your lie anymore?? Huh? Ever thought about that, you dumb bitch?

I have an idea, Amalia: how about you throw Aurora to the other side of the world and then try to get yourself pregnant by using Yugo so that you can also have a better reason to stay? Or better yet, you can tell her to prove her pregnancy because again, HER STOMACH IS FLATTER THAN A WASHBOARD AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS. Make her suffer from her lie and try to make her work hard for it.

You know when a dog lifts his tail and head up while he’s walking away from something cuz it shows just how sassy and confident they are? I see no difference with this crappy blue cow ‘family’ except that it ain’t cute when they do it.

They just ignored everything Amalia and Yugo said, looked the other way from every proof and situation that they were currently in, and only brought out Aurora’s pregnancy as a trashy uno reverse card, then decided to dip out before blurting out that they were gonna wait NEXT TO ARMAND’S FUCKING TREE GRAVE SO AMALIA CAN PREPARE HER STUFF TO LEAVE.

Osamodas blonde cow: “We are going to pray at Armand’s grave tree, while you make your arrangements.”

The fucking nerve to say that.

I don’t give a shit if she’s crying while saying it, this bitch is supposed to be a professional manipulator.

She and her family have no shame whatsoever. They genuinely thought they did something there. The only thing they had as “leverage” against Amalia and Yugo was Aurora’s stupid “pregnancy”. And even if she was actually carrying Armand’s kid (for whatever reason), her reason would still be shit cuz Armand already declared in his final hour that Amalia was going to take his role.

Osamodas blond cow: “Your presence here is no longer desired, sister-in-law. Just do what you’ve always done…Go explore the world!”

Like-

Who are you???

Blond cow had the audacity to exist.

Not only do we know that the royal osamodas family are liars and manipulators, but we also now know that they’re complete dumbasses for even wanting to rule the Sadida kingdom of all kingdoms. The Sadida kingdom is not built like theirs. The Sadida culture and its customs are extremely different and very much the opposite of the Osamodas since these two races are polar opposites. The Sadidas care about plant life while the Osamodas care about wildlife. It would be extremely hard for the osamodas to fully accept a culture that preaches everything that opposes what they preach. Not only that, but the Sadida kingdom is the literal embodiment of nature. If anything tries to hit its source no matter how big or small, then there would be dire consequences to the entire ecosystem of the world. The Tree of Life is such a big deal in fact that Armand even nicknames it “the lungs of this world”.

And to protect it, you not only need to be one with nature, but that also means you need a SADIDA to guard it which is a person that can literally SPEAK FOR THE TREES. Aurora you NEED Amalia, not only because she’s a Sadida, but because she’s also a royal AND has the strongest connection to the tree more than any other sadidas. You’re not just ruling a kingdom, you’re taking care of the world’s core.

And Aurora’s father doesn’t seem to understand that very important detail. When Armand reveals to him that the sadida kingdom keeps getting targeted at all times because it represents the lungs of the world, this fucking dumbass cow thinks that it’s because the sadidas are weak and can’t protect their own home which is why it keeps getting attacked.

Aurora’s father is such an idiot that he doesn’t even understand why the kingdom is so precious when he’s just been TOLD THE ANSWER DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS FUCKING FACE.

At this point, even a iop would get it. BECAUSE THE PERCEDAL FAMILY ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT-

This is why imagining an osamodas ruling the Sadida kingdom is a literal death sentence. Because an osamodas, someone who only takes care of beasts, shouldn’t be able to properly take care of the sacred tree that links every single living plant in the world. For fuck sake, Aurora, why do you think they call it “the Tree of LIFE”?????

If the Tree of Life doesn’t have a proper guardian (aka A FUCKING SADIDA), then it dies. And if it dies, that means the ecosystem dies. Aurora, you dumb blond, let me explain it in osamodas language: if every green that you see outside disappears, that means that your stupid animals won’t be able to properly eat, shit, reproduce, drink, breathe, and live. And yes, Aurora that last one also means that they won’t have a surface to walk on, aka death.

You don’t have a brain because you keep listening to your egocentric manipulative fat father every time he opens his mouth and you keep making constipated decisions without thinking about the later outcomes because you think you’re in control of the situation.

The only thing you can do, and I’m being generous here by giving you a “talent”, is to shut the fuck up and sit there looking pretty. You did a good job doing that in Season 4 and I want you to do that again. And while you’re at it, go make me a sandwi-

Not only does Aurora need Amalia, the sadida who has the strongest link to the Tree of Life, but the Osamodas king also needs Yugo. I’m not sure why these blue people didn’t catch the fact that there’s a gigantic ass necrome dragon that’s only been PARALYZED and is currently standing in the fucking Sadida Kingdom’s backyard. The dragon is very easy to spot and the only reason why Yugo still keeps the eliatrope dofus on him at all times is to prepare himself for when the dragon gets out of this state. Because yes, Armand did beat him, but he didn’t kill him. Again, you are not able to kill a necrome. If the royal Osamodas family somehow takes hold of the Sadida kingdom, how the fuck are they gonna beat a fucking dragon, one of the most powerful fucking entities of this world who also had been necrofied to NEVER FUCKING DIE??? The osamodas cow king never saw a necrome, never beat a necrome, doesn’t know how it became a necrome, and doesn’t know where it comes from. Since he doesn’t know shit about the necromes, how is he gonna be able to fight a fucking necrome DRAGON?????

Sweeties, do you get it now?

Staying in the Sadida kingdom isn’t for power-hungry clowns. Staying in the Sadida kingdom means that you’ve gambled with your life more than once and you know the taste of adventure and combat. Staying there means knowing that your life can be taken away from you by either the enemies who try to take the literal lungs of the world, or the paralyzed undead dragon who can wake up at any time if he simply wanted to.

You bozos NEED Yugo and Amalia to the point where you can’t even be the ones to stay there, let alone own the place. You can’t stay there because there is so much to keep guard of, to be aware of, and to be ready for. The sadidas have practiced this dance for centuries now and they’ll keep doing it even harder because of an additional menace that is living on their grounds, the dragon being that very threat. Now, not only do the sadidas have to be vigilant of the outside, but they also have to be vigilant of the inside.

So yeah, the royal osamodas are a goofy ass family and I hate the circus.

(i love how the French commentaries on Allskreen and the Krosmoz app are clowning this family lol everyone understood the assignment)

[teleit]

Who would be the best ruler of Westeros? Me, I have the desire to do good deeds, even when others beg for mercy

Jokes aside, but really - who? The show actively tells me that Rhaenyra is the only possible option, because this woman glows in the dark from all the blessings received from every god in existence and shits wisdom and greatness.

But is she? Let's hear my useless opinion.

First, where are we looking - at canon (the book), or at the screened fanfic (the show)?

In terms of canon, I think Jacaerys was the best option, but only because the other candidates were complete failures. The way Martin described this boy, even through the lens of the biased Black and Green sources, sounds promising. Yes, 90% of his decisions ended up being failures - he suggested recruiting more dragonriders from dragon seeds, and got Hugh and Ulf; he suggested sending Aegon III and Viserys to Pentos, and they were captured by the Triarchy; he went to rescue his brothers with a bunch of newbies who could barely stay on their dragons, and he ended up getting killed.

If it weren't for the circumstances of his birth, which would inevitably lead to a rebellion by the lords outraged by a bastard on the throne, Jacaerys might have been a good king. He just needed time to grow up.

But on the show? No one. No one at all. None of these people, they are all absolutely terrible.

Rhaenyra? That woman wouldn't know the word "responsibility" if it ambushed her in a parking lot and beat the crap out of her. She doesn't understand what ruling is even twenty years after being named heir, and she asks helplessly "what should I do?", wringing her hands at every difficulty. She does one stupid thing after another, driven by anything but common sense. If she were queen, we'd have another crisis in ten years or so.

Daemon? Lmao. No. That dude lived, fucked and died for shits and giggles, he can't be trusted with snow in the winter.

Jacaerys? That's the boy who solves problems with violence (pulling out a dagger when insulted, punching his uncle in the face when insulted, need I go on?), and loses every fight he starts. He doesn't speak Valyrian, constantly whines and cries to his fiancée and mother that he doesn't know what to do or how to be, and is practically useless during wartime (because his smart decisions were given to Rhaenyra, but that's another story).

Lucerys? Yeah, sure, how can you forget how he handled himself so perfectly at dinner when he should have just kept his mouth shut, but instead he decided that laughing at the crazy uncle he maimed and never apologized for was the height of comedy, better only fart jokes. That boy had one brain cell, and it was on permanent sick leave for the entire season.

Rhaenys? A woman who talks about the slavery of the patriarchy and submits to the decisions of her ambitious to the point of stupidity husband. Marrying her little daughter to her forty year old cousin? Why not. Losing two children because of Rhaenyra and Daemon, and continuing to serve their interests, even though they use her as they please, because Corlys hopes that someday it will pay off? Excellent solution, let's also scold husband for not loving his own bastards enough, and then die ingloriously and uselessly. Yes, the queen we deserve, Rhaenys the Spineless.

Aegon? He can only be a good king if a miracle happens and he stops listening to the idiots around him, gets rid of his mommy and daddy issues, and starts using his head for more than just pouring wine into mouth. Which won't happen, because the writers HATE this man. He'll be pathetic and useless, and then he'll die, because gods forbid there should be an equal fight between a woman and a man for the throne, a woman needs to kick a body sprawled on the ground, disarmed and incapacitated, so that everyone understands that she is superior to him in everything.

Aemond? Season 1 - maybe after a couple of years of therapy, Season 2 - no, he literally doesn't have a single thought in his head except "blood revenge hate aaarrrgghhh", and only occasionally do we see glimpses of a complex character, thanks to Ewan's insane talent.

Helaena? Poor girl, who was just like Aemond crippled by the script so much that even Martin couldn't stand it (Helaena will die just because, for no reason… wow, such deep character development…), give her her bugs and leave her alone.

In canon, the dance of the dragons is the result of well-intentioned stupidity of several generations, in the show - a parable of why incest is bad, just look at how much the mental capacity of people whose family tree looks like a wreath has suffered.

Ps. Still not native speaker and dgaf about mistakes, english can suck my imaginary dick

[twigg96]

Food Poisoning

Daddy! Daryl X Reader

Place: Alexandria

Warnings: Literally food poisoning, vomit, a little fart joke, Kids being kids about being sick, Sickness

POV - You

Summary - After having stew with some tainted meat in it your three kiddos (Phoenix - 11, Beau - 6, and Lillian - 2) get a bad case of food poisoning. Just as kids do Beau comes in to tell his parents exactly what happened feeling traumatized and violated after he "threwed up".

The night had started off so genuinely nice. Normal even. For the turn that is. You had made dinner from the rabbit and squirrel Daryl hunted earlier in the day. It had been a hotter day than either of you realized it would be. But you never let that deter you from your duties. Daryl had warned you that the heat of the day may have spoilt some of the meat. And that he had lost one of the rabbits. He got a bad shot on it and when he finally found it, it was long dead with an arrow deep in its broken leg. He simply added it to his string not thinking anything of it. Wasn’t until later in the hunt he thought better of it and decided to chuck it… well he thought he tossed the right one at least. After a while he wasn’t so sure anymore. So he asked you to be extra vigilant while cooking that night. To sniff the meat and make sure nothing was camping out inside before tossing it in the fire to be cooked. 

You had listened. Truly you did. You had washed and smelled the meat as you cleaned and skinned it. Nothing smelled bad and so you went as far as to make a little stew for the whole community with the meat and some of Rick’s vegetables he grew in his garden. Everyone in the community seemed to love it. They ate it up vigorously and basked in the post fullness bliss of a good meal. You watched your kids play out in the yard with the other neighborhood children. When night fell after the kids had gone to bed, you and Daryl even felt adventurous enough to get a little handsy before falling into blissful sleep. 

Or that’s what the archer would have liked to have happened. But seeing as he was ripped from the calming embrace of sleep in the midst of REM he would have to argue otherwise… “Daddy…” A small and timid voice had called out into the darkness of the night. At first Daryl had believed it was just part of his dream. The one where none of the hell they lived in existed and he and his family lived in the peace he once knew. “Daddy…” The voice whispered nearer this time. Cutting straight through the lovely dream he had been having. Blinking awake slowly Daryl growled, slapping around blindly for the electric lamp sitting on the bedside table. With a click Daryl’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest. Beau stood a mere two inches away from the edge of the bed, only his head could be seen poking from over the side as he clutched his teddy bear close to his chest. “Daddy.” Beau whispered shakily, his lip pouting out and his eyes wide and full of tears. “Yeah?” Daryl mumbled tiredly as he tried to put together why his son was in his room in the dead of night. Sitting up in bed, the sheets falling to his exposed chest he looked over to you and sighed. You were starting to stir. Blinking away the garish light. Damn… you needed all the sleep you could get.

 “What… what do you want, Beau?” Daryl asked tiredly, reaching over you to grab a cigarette from your end table. “Well..” Beau started shuffling his feet anxiously. Daryl cocked a brow at the towheaded boy placing the cig in his mouth and flicking the lighter trying to get it to light. “Daddy… I threwed up.” He mumbled with a sob.” The words froze Daryl in his place. Maybe he it was just his foggy sleep deprived brain that was miss hearing what his son just said. But as his wife sat up stare at the two of them like they both started to grow wings and speak in tongues Daryl knew that he had heard correctly. “What?” You asked rubbing your eyes. Beau sobbed nodding. “Lillian threwed up first! Phoenix got up to check on her and she threwed up on the floor!” Beau sobbed helplessly. The both of you stared at Beau in disbelief and disgust. “So…” you ventured to ask, crawling over to your husband’s side of the bed. “Did you throw up Beau?” The little blonde nods swiping away fat tears and it isn’t until then that Daryl is able to make out the new stains on his son’s shirt and pants. “After I farted on the floor.” He whined. Daryl and you share a confused look. Farted… on the floor? What the hell does that mean? OH FUCK NO. Pulling his cigarette from his mouth Daryl gaped at Beau. “What do ya mean… farted on the flo- Beau!” He huffed twisting to the side of the bed. “Did ya shit on the floor?!” he hissed. Feeling your hand on his arm he tried to calm down but the sound of their youngest starting to scream and cry from their shared room and their eldest yelling “Mommy! Daddy! Lilly needs a bath!” was all too overwhelming for him at the moment. “Daryl.” Your calming voice drowned out the madness as your hand squeezed his. “I’ll work on cleaning up. Just… find a bucket… or two… and get them bathed and back in bed. Please. We got this, we’ve been through worse.” And suddenly Daryl knew. You were right. You always were. 

Standing with a groan, Daryl was grateful that he was wearing just boxers when Beau walked directly into his legs for a hug. God… kids and their need to be touched when they're sick. Scooping him into his arms Daryl sighed the smell of vomit was strong, but nothing he couldn’t handle after the hell they’ve lived through. “Sure ya don’t want me ta clean up too? I can-” Daryl muttered walking towards the door, Beau’s head already nuzzled under his chin seeking some semblance of comfort. “Daryl.” You had chided, cutting him off. “We’re a team. I got it, don’t worry.” With a small nod he hummed walking into the kid’s room to access the damage… and it was worse than he imagined. Scowling he sighed not seeing either of his daughters. “Phoenix!” He yelled, shuffling Beau in his arms, starting to search for them. The piercing wail of his two year old would normally have been terrifying given the world they live in but seeing as she was in the bathroom with his eldest at the moment he was simply annoyed. The water for the tap was running and when he popped his head in to see what was happening he rolled his eyes and groaned. “Phoenix… baby. Are you tryin’ ta drown yer sister?” He muttered trying so hard to make light of the situation. Phoenix’s head whipped around as she stared at him, the tub getting dangerously full as she held a fully clothed Lilly in the tub. 

Moving to place Beau on the floor Daryl kneeled beside Phoenix, turning the tap off and taking Lilly into his arms, sopping wet and all. “I was just trying to get her and her clothes clean, dad.” Phoenix whispered looking slightly ashamed and embarrassed. Taking a deep breath Daryl sighed, bouncing the screaming toddler doing his best not to emulate his own father in this situation by screaming in the face of his own children. “T-Thank you…” He bit out. It was a start at least that’s what he assumed. “Now… do me a favor…” He muttered lowly. “Get some towels for me, and some clean pajamas for all you kids and come back. Yer all gettin’ a damned bath.” 

It wasn’t until the early morning light streamed through the blinds that the rancid smell finally seemed to be mostly gone. You had done your best to clean everything up with only homemade vinegar as your main cleaning supply as everything else was running low. The windows were wide open despite the cool weather but even that didn’t deter your three hellions from getting some sleep. The two of you had decided to simply toss and burn the sheets and pajamas the kids had been sleeping in and just use old ones until you could find new ones on a run. As the two of you stood side by side watching the fire in the brisk morning air you couldn’t help but laugh. “Wha’?” Daryl nearly hissed, glaring at you. “Nothing… just… kinda feels normal ya know? We haven’t had to do that since before the turn when Phoenix was little.” You whispered thinking of the time Phoenix had simply crawled into your bed and proceeded to vomit all over Daryl like she was in the exorcist. Daryl stared into the fire but a small smile crossed his lips. “Yeah… suppose so…” Holding your hand he began to rub his thumb along the back of your hand. Any sense of normalcy in this life was better than none he assumed.

[kanmom51]

JK on Bruontheradio - coming soon

*Disclaimer: This post came out way longer than I initially intended it to be, and is a little bit of a brain fart. You have been warned, lol.

Josh “Bru” Brubaker

Love how even with this we have Jimin reference.

JK just cannot help himself.

He did tell us "the love of my life".

And what about the first thing that JK shows us is this:

Bad lighting he probably didn't really count on, but yes, his hand tattoos.

And I know there will be those that will say: "he's showing us ARMY", but I say it's a double for him, cause man ain't stupid, he knows fans will go crazy he's showing ARMY, and at the same time I believe he's showing the JM tattoo as well. You know, the JM that did the exact same kind of clip before him. The JM that spent 5 days WITH HIM in NY (and CT). The JM that is his "love of my life". That JM.

Same JM that @andy-wm wrote a beautiful post about just a few hours ago:

Ok, so I guess I'm going to talk about this here, even though I will probably repeat it many times to come.

Seven for JK is about love not fucking.

There. I said it.

And why do I bring this up here?

Because of the hand he so graciously showed us.

Because of JK's JM tattoo.

Because of said tattoo's placement.

Ring finger. For all to see.

How long have we known the J over the M stood for JM?

Us Jikookers?

I'd say since forever.

It's the rest of the fandom that kept trying to find excuses why it wasn't. Why it stood for everything under the sun other than the obvious. The one person that JK puts above others. The one person JK has been showing for years now that is special to him, in a way that is way beyond even the best of friendships. When you tattoo someone's name on you that is a statement. You are literally branding yourself with their name till the day you die (yes you can erase tattoos, but when you are having a tattoo done that is not what you are thinking of, in that moment in time you are painting your skin for life).

And JK did that. One sided.

He also made sure to let us know that the theories running around for years about what that J meant (you know, the army and J means all the members bullshit) were crap. Yes, he didn't tell us out loud that the J placed over the M stood for JM, but he didn't deny it either. He omitted that. Which is understandable given they are still a closeted couple and we all know that admitting to that, would be admitting to their queerness. As much as JK wants out of the closet, as much as he wants to scream blue murder that JM is his and his alone, he won't do it as long as JM isn't ready. And saying the JM is Jimin out loud, that would be outing not only himself but also the love of his life, when said love of his life is not ready for that yet. So he said the J stands for Jungkook and moved on at the speed of lightening. Without addressing the huge ass elephant in that room - why place it over the M knowing EXACTLY what it looked like? (we know the answer to that, but omitting is the name of the game - said that already).

So yeah, JK tattooed JM on his hand. For all of us to see. And he keeps touching it up. Darkening it. At times specifically those two letters.

I actually had a post in draft that is kind of redundant now, about how I noticed his JM at the airport leaving for the States.

That pinky ring, that actually isn't a pinky ring cause it's JM's ring, which he didn't wear when JM was there in NY with him, but had it back on travelling to London, JM gone back to SK, looks kinda too small even for his pinky, lol.

Now to Seven.

Like I said, JK sees Seven as a love song.

Yes, he sang the explicit version, but that's not what HE feels the song is about. And he's said it multiple times too.

This is what JK thinks about Seven:

and from the MV making:

and:

and from Stationhead radio 20th July appearance:

I think JK is being very clear here. Pity people aren't listening to him. This, for him, is a love song.

Yes, he knows it's very sexual, but it's about being with the person you love more than anything else and wanting to make that person happy. And him saying "the love of my life" that might have been on purpose (wouldn't put it past him) or even as a slip of the tongue, but it cements how he feels about the song, that might not have been written by him, but he most definitley feels an emotional connection with. I'd say kind of like Euphoria or Only then.

And now back to the hand and to JM and their place in JK's promotions for this song.

Not coincidently, JM is laced through every single part of the promotions for this song.

He's in the photo shoot concept.

He's in the MV (yes, what can you do, they had to go with a gf and hetero love story in the MV cause JK's first solo worldwide cannot be a queer love affair MV, that's just the way the cookie crumbles... not New jeans cookie - yuck - just writing that makes me feel ewe...).

He's in the choreography

There are more similarities than those I pointed out in that post. And again, it's not about JK stealing JM's moves from SMF pt. 2 (which we know the man LUVED). It's about JM inspiring him. And believe you me, that JM knew every single step of the way. The song, the MV and the choreo.

It's in the styling (not only the photo shoot).

And JM is just there, with JK all the time, on his hand, just out there for everyone to look and see.

For those saying the J is covered, nope, it ain't. The ring band is see through, cause that's just a thing JK does.

This finger pointing, not intentional in my opinion, just a little coincidence (JK holding the mic, as he does in the GMA performance as well, but in the Explicit performance with no mic in hand he covers his face just like the backup dancers do), and yet, a lovely one at that.

This is the way JK wanted it to be. Since way back in 2019 when he added that J over the M. For everyone to see all of the time!

So, where was I?

To sum this absolutely probably unnecessary post.

JK loves JM.

JK had JM tattooed on his hand.

JK chose Seven because he liked the song (and it's really a good one) and he also connected with it on an emotional level.

JK sees the song as a love song, expressing him wanting and needing to be with the person he loves, the love of his life, constantly, and showing said person how much he loves him and wanting to make them happy.

Yes, there is an explicit version to the song, yay, they replaced "loving" with "fucking". JK sings it, finds it amusing to say the word out loud, but when asked about it, it's the clean version, the love song version that he is connected to.

JK wanted to show us, in the ways that he, as a closeted queer man can, loves JM, is inspired by JM, and that JM is a part of who he is, as a man, as an artist.

Those two may not have come up with the "you are me I am you", but they most certainly took ownership of it. And JK, he's out there showing us just how true it is.

I think maybe it's about time that army:

a. Go read the lyrics to the song and understand that even the explicit version is talking about being with one person, the one you want to make feel good 7 days a week, and not about fucking someone else every day of the week. It's called reading comprehension, I think they need a lesson in that.

b. For once, even just once, listen to what JK is saying, what he's been saying ever since he started the promotion for this song.

This army was listening:

Well, at least to some of what JK has been saying.

I am guessing she's not a Jikooker, lol.

c. This one is for JKKs and PJMs. Try, for just one second, to put your feelings about the way JM's solo debut was treated BY THE COMPANY, and see with untainted glasses just how much this man loves JM. You know how much he promoted him personally and without the company's approval. He adores him, admires him, I'm willing to go so far as to worships him. JM is his catalyst. JM is the love of his life. JK would NEVER do something to disrespect or hurt JM. JK is trying to show us just how much JM is a part of who he, JK, is. He's trying to show us how much he is inspired by JM. How much he loves him. All this anger you are holding towards JK you need to let it go. JK as an artist is not the company as a promoter, they are not one and the same. On the way, I also recommend reading @beautifulpersonpeach's post:

Maybe, just maybe it will give you a little more insight or at the very least food for thought.

Ok, I think that's the end of this one. I kind of think I was all over the place here, and not so sure I got the message through, but it is what it is. Brain farts are not always pretty...

[crazy-pages]

This Stuff Sinks In Deep

So I was talking to my mother the other day.

She's a therapist, one of her specialties is eating disorders. She's been doing this since literally before eating disorder certifications were a thing with the APA. She got into it because she had anorexia herself and was helped by therapy. And I think maybe she's developed orthorexia in spite of overcoming that, as age has started to affect her body. She's considered to be one of the best eating disorder therapists in my hometown, a city with one of the highest per capita concentration of psychologists in the US and also one of thinnest, which is relevant here.

Well when we were talking, she mentioned anorexia's BMI criteria. (And yeah she knows BMI is an absurdity of a metric, but she was not questioning the concept of anorexia having a fat-related criteria.)

So I laughed and said, "Hah, the best criteria for anorexia, the criteria which makes the majority of anorexia 'atypical'."

And this is where things get sad.

Because I'm up to date on 'atypical' anorexia research. How the majority of anorexics actually do not meet the BMI criteria and are therefore considered 'atypical', but nevertheless experience the same behavioral symptoms, thought patterns, health consequences (including the cardiovascular and bone stuff that sticks with you), morbidity correlations, mortality rates, etc. I'm even familiar with the research of someone living in the area near my mother, on how atypical anorexics have worse outcomes actually, because of massively delayed treatment (on the order of years). Because, you know. I'm a research scientist and I grew up cutting my teeth on my mom's psych research journals. And I listen to Maintenance Phase which is how I learned about the researcher near her (hey sometimes pop culture science is how you find sources). And you know. It's my mom's thing and she's important to me. Of course I still keep up with this stuff.

And my mom said, "What?"

"You know. 'Atypical' anorexia? The majority of actual anorexia cases? People who meet every other criteria but just don't reach the supposed BMI threshold? Have the same symptoms? 'Atypical' anorexia? Why what do you call it?" (I assumed she had some less nonsense term for it than 'atypical' anorexia, so atypical anorexia didn't immediately register for her.)

"What?"

"The ... the diagnosis? Atypical anorexia? Same exact diagnostic criteria and presentation as anorexia nervosa except for the BMI criteria? Same health outcomes? Sufferers experience additional difficulties seeking treatment?" (She's my mom, she was just having a brain fart about the term. I learned everything I know about anorexia from her. Right?)

"Uh, are you talking about one of those new agey disorders people sometimes throw around, that's not in the DSM 5? Those aren't necessarily reliable you know. I think you're thinking of binge eating."

"What?! Mom, no, no no no. Atypical anorexia nervosa. Same symptoms, but the person has a higher minimum weight before the body stops losing mass. Or you know, shuts down and dies."

"Sweetie I don't think that's a real thing. That's not in the DSM, at the very least."

"?!?!?!?!" (Maybe she's right, there's sometimes bias against the inclusion of disorders which bring focus to systemic medical malpractice.)

*ten seconds of internet search later*

"Uhhh, no mom. It's right there. In the DSM 5 for 11 years now. Atypical anorexia nervosa. More people have it than 'typical' anorexia nervosa. It's the most common presentation of the disease you specialize in?" (at this point my voice was getting kind of thin and reedy)

And my mom just. Had no idea. Didn't really want to hear it either. I pulled sources. Got her to pull up the DSM definition for herself. But she stayed wedded to the idea that anorexia is defined by weight and that someone with an eating disorder who didn't hit the anorexic threshold (or wasn't on their way there) must be something other than anorexic. They must be periodically binging, or that it was a way to describe temporary disordered dieting or-

My mom's helped a lot of people with anorexia over the years.

After that call I ended up staring at the ceiling and wondering how many people with it she's hurt, because she thought they couldn't have anorexia. How many of her own clients might be in the population sample of that local researcher who investigated the harms done to 'atypical' anorexics by a medical system that refuses to recognize their symptoms.

There's the obvious and brutal story here, about how deep fatphobia goes in medicine, even among those who heal its consequences. But also...

To my friends? If we're ever talking and you realize I'm stuck in mental rut like this, fixated on some old conception of something, just ... I dunno. Say "red light". That'll be the signal for me to shut the fuck up and treat whatever you're about to say really seriously, with the assumption I have gone terribly astray.

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

You’re so close yet so far with the Mysterion/Spider-man comparison. Look up Moon Knight! He’s more like Mysterion than Batman and Spider-man :)

in all honesty, i'm like the most ignorant person when it comes to superhero/vigilante movies and DC/Marvel stuff, so my post was just a brain fart that occurred while i was watching The Amazing Spiderman for the first time ever (yeah i know) and I was just fascinated with the progression of how he became Spiderman, and his more humble background in comparison to Batman's billionaire ass, so you probably shouldn't take my yappings about that too seriously hshjsgdjhs. Literally the only Batman content I ever actively consumed was the Lego Batman movie (awesome movie) and The Dark Knight by Christopher Nolan (I'm sorry. I hated it. Couldn't even finish it bc I got so bored and pissed off), so I'm not a reliable source for comparisons hahahaha

STILL thank you so much for the rec. Moon Knight's design is definitely very Mysterion-esque. Feel free to send another ask explaining the similarities between the two!! I'm curious, but I wouldn't know where to start researching (there's a lot of stuff on him and I don't have lots of time to get into the series rn hshdjsagdj). I'd love to hear you out though like please don't hesitate!!!

Thank you so much for the ask anon <333

[unhinged-ghoste]

I really love talking about my cats so I wanna share my cats with you (pics included)

This is Toast. I got her first. Her birthday is April something, like 7th-17th. She's my most photogenic baby. She's very lazy and fat. We think she's part ragdoll bc you can literally just fling her around and she's like "ok". I adopted her out of sheer anxiety bc I went to the pound alone and picked the first kitten I saw and was like "this is the one simply bc I'm anxious and I wanna go home." Her original name was Athena but I didn't want that name so I named her Toast bc the top of her head looked like toast. Also she has cat herpes.

This is Whisper. He has anxiety like me. My bf picked him out at a different shelter. My bf clearly has a thing for creatures riddled with anxiety. We call him Boy a lot bc he's our only boy cat. His original name was Lennon but who tf has a cat named Lennon so we named him Whisper bc he was quiet as a mouse when we first got him. This has since changed. He is the loudest mf I've ever experienced. He screams when he forgets where you are. He screams when he's hungry. He screams when he's bored. He would open doors if the knobs weren't spherical. He used to SH??? But he's stopped finally. He can speak English slightly but only the word Hello. His breath smells like ass and he needs constant attention or he'll cry. He's the same weight as every cat else but his bones are so heavy bc when he steps on you its like blunt knives are being attemptedly driven into you.

This is Fart. Yes, Fart. Her full legal name is fartsoundeffect.mp3. She's my meme cat, I have so many funny pictures of her. Her original name was Roxanne but she is very deserving of the name Fart. She loves concrete time and her wet food deeply. She is a War Criminal and has been convicted of at least 72 felonies. She was thrown out of a car window as a baby and because of that, she only has 1 brain cell and it is full of Rage. Here is some things wrong with her:

* Rage. Anger. Spite.

* liquid shit

* Insanity

Here are some crimes she has committed:

* Shit on me while I was in bed twice

* shit in my mom's home office, her bathroom, her living room, and behind the stairs in the stairwell

* ripped my dad's, my bfs, and my arm open

* pissed on multiple bathroom rugs multiple times

* dug a hole in the litter box, aim properly, then completely missed and peed all over the floor. In front of me.

* farted in front of house guests, my late grandma's physical therapy nurses, home health nurses, and a church pastor.

* Vomit logs onto the floor

I have taken her and her poop in a Tupperware container to the vet to analyze it to see if it was a bacterial infection or anything wrong with her in that way, and she's perfectly healthy apparently. We've switched food brands 28 times and she's still like this. So. Yeah. I would however go back and choose her again bc I truly believe no one would put up with her other than me.

Anyways thanks for reading ab my disabled cats I'd love to learn and read ab your cats.

[jemaniacreates]

Just Use the Full Codename!

Agent 3 is an inkling of few words, but this is a problem when the concept of time meets a team dubbed by numbers. A “Who’s on First?” themed one-shot.

Marie impatiently looked down at her watch. Agent 8 was supposed to report in a couple of minutes and yet there was no sign of them. She looked around the cabin, catching Agent 3 aimlessly scrolling through their phone. They would probably know what’s up.

“Hey, Three, I don’t have Agent 8’s number, do you know when they’re coming?” Marie asked.

“Four.” Three briefed.

Marie cocked her head up, seeing the fourth agent crush a couple of buoys with the Hero Roller accompanied by Sheldon’s wordy supervision.

“Agent 4’s already here. I’m waiting for Eight.”

Three confusedly looked up from their phone, “I said four.”

“I can literally see them from here.”

Three turned around, then back to Marie.

“That’s Four,” they gestured with heir phone.

“I know that. What about Eight?”

“Their code is Agent 8.”

Marie slumped her shoulders. She did not have enough coffee for this…

“I don’t want to know about their code, I want to know about the time they’re coming.”

Three remembered. “I think they’re stopping by One for supplies.”

Marie’s brows furrowed. “So, they’re coming in at one? It’s almost four!”

“Exactly.”

Marie grip tightened on the parasol, “Three, stop it.”

“Are you mad? You need to blow off some steam?”

“I don’t need to!”

“But you are Two!”

“And I’m looking for Eight!”

“And I told you when they’re coming!”

“No, you didn’t!”

“Yes, I did!”

“Cod, I am getting a migraine…”

Three sighed in desperation, “I have some pills for the pain.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll have some.”

“How many you want?”

“How about one?”

“Oh, One’s feeling fine.”

“Why would I worry about how it feels?”

Three gave the secretary an incredulous look.

“Wow, way to diss your cousin…”

“Three…” Marie groaned. “For the migraine.”

“Here.”

Marie took a couple of seconds to examine the contents within her hand, completely dumbfounded.

“Why did you give me three pills?” She asked simply.

“You just asked for three!”

“No! I asked for one!”

“Honestly, you probably need more than that…”

Marie, ready to throw down, closed her parasol. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Three frustratingly threw the vial into their backpack, “You’re getting mad for no reason.”

“No reason?” Marie stuttered. “I’ve been standing here for five minutes, and you still haven’t told me when Eight is coming!”

“Yes, I did.” Three repeated. “Stopping by One for supplies, then coming at four.”

“At four?” Marie realized. “Do you mean four o’clock?”

“Yeah.”

“Motherfu-” the radio host stopped, concluding her brief brain fart with the pop of a pill, breathing through the silence to regain any sense she had lost.

“Okay. I get it now…”

Three looked at the hand with the remaining pills then back to the still frustrated pop-idol. “Do you still need two?”

“I SWEAR TO THE STARS ABOVE-”

[toaarcan]

Every now and then I see the Capitalism Ruined Tieflings post float past and my brain just goes "Skill Issue."

For context, this is a popular post that states that in D&D's second and third editions, Tieflings had a huge variety of appearances and then in 4e they were homogenised into generic devil-people because Hasbro was calling the shots and demanded that Tieflings all look relatively the same because that way it was easier to sell minis of them, and now Tieflings are ruined forever because you can't make one with greasy skin that smells like farts.

But here's the thing: You can absolutely still just do that.

"But the book says-"

Fuck the book! This hobby is 50% improv and the highest authority you'll ever have to deal with is most likely going to be your friend Jim, when it comes to pure roleplay things, there is literally nothing stopping you. The D&D Police aren't going to kick down your door and haul you off to RPG Jail for the crime of not playing a Tiefling like they're described in the PHB, because there is no D&D Police.

The PHB is great for telling you what you get mechanically (or the "crunch") and can be entirely ignored for everything in terms of lore (or the "fluff").

I've been playing 5e for something like seven or eight years now, and during that time, across all those groups, we've used vanishingly small amounts of official lore, one official setting, and precisely zero Hasbro miniatures (largely because all of those games have been online).

If I had gone to any of those DMs, both the good and bad ones, and said "I wanna use the Planescape Tiefling tables for my character's appearance", I don't think any of them would've said no. Now, that's not something I personally would ever do (I'm not leaving my character's design up to the RNG that hates me), but I don't doubt that the option would exist if I wanted it.

Additionally, people have always broken from the official limitations of the books with these things, and a few really obvious ways.

Per the books, Tieflings have the full range of human skin tones, plus varying shades of red. Now, how many people actually keep to that limitation? I've seen blue, purple, orange, green, yellow, bone white, grey, black, pink, etcetera. Even the Planescape table only gives you red, green, and blue, random 5e players going "What if it was purple!" and disregarding the PHB is fully and openly accepted.

Hell, two of the most prominent Tiefling characters in the current era of D&D are Jester and Molly from CritRole's second campaign, who are blue and purple respectively. "Tieflings are just red" says Hasbro, and "No they aren't" says literally everybody else. Even Hasbro themselves don't care too much about it, there's an official Lego D&D Tiefling minifigure coming out this year, and they're orange, not red, when Hasbro could easily have demanded that Lego make them red.

Additionally, the book says Tiefling eyes are a single, solid colour, with no visible iris, pupil, or sclera. Yeah that one gets ignored a whole lot too. In fact, that one gets ignored more than it gets followed. I've made at least ten of these fuckers and one of them followed that rule, and only did so after her Sorcerer bloodline activated, and nobody, DM or player, has ever called me out on it.

The book says nothing about them having weird legs, I've still seen plenty with varying forms of digitigrade gait, whether it's with hooves or something else at the end of them.

If you want to make your Planescape Tieflings, then you absolutely still can. And if your DM says no, then they're probably just still in their Rules Stickler phase. Give 'em a little time and they'll loosen up, it happened to most people in this hobby.

That's the great thing about playing D&D. Most of the time, you really can just do whatever the hell you like as long as it doesn't futz with the mechanical side of things (and sometimes you can do it with that too).

Capitalism didn't ruin Tieflings. Sure, you can argue that it tried, but the only thing letting it succeed is a lack of imagination and an unwillingness to go "Hey, can I just do X instead" on the part of the players.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go make a character that's mechanically a Tiefling and lore-wise a completely different species, because nothing can stop me doing that.

[women-of-malevolent]

I love reading your takes, especially as someone who was disillusioned mid-season 2. I've read synopsis and glanced at scripts out curiosity, but didn't really realize just how bad the podcast treated women.

What made me drop it in season 2 was how Faroe's death was revealed. Middle of a fight, Arthur loses his confidence and brings up Faroe. Not bc he misses her, not bc fighting for his life reminds him of her own struggle b4 she died. But because Arthur wants John to pat him on the back, reassure him, tell him he's good, hes reliable. Faroe's initial death reveal doesn't even focus on her. It focuses on Arthur and his self-confidence.

And after Arthur gets what he wants, it's dropped. They don't talk about her again for a while. How can one think it's good storytelling to bring up dead baby for like. 5 secongs. And then move on???? Something so horrific was brought up and dropped so nonchalantly it just blind sided me. And I remember thinking "this is how he's going to handle everything of this emotional magnitude" and stopped listening, for the most part.

Tl;Dr: boy howdy do I appreciate reading your analysis and takes and it's kind of reassuring knowing others feel this way too

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy and I very much enjoyed reading this too!!

In retrospect, great call seeing it there.... I used to zone out the fights, tbh, because obviously the main characters would be fine (like, there were dozens more episodes, they weren't going to die here lmao). So I was very low-context, let's say, when I zoned in for Arthur's tragic past backstory. I was moved both by the horrifying idea of brain fart-ing your kid dead by accident, and by John and Arthur opening up to each other more… I wasn't thinking about the deeply weird framing!!! But wtf!!!

It's so weird that the Faroe stuff comes out when it does. Mid-fight, right before they kill the gug monster that they've established is intelligent. Faroe has clearly been on Arthur's mind, and John has been poking Arthur about it. But he chooses to share right before dropping the stone?? And then kills it and the story moves on until John weaponizes it against Arthur later.

Faroe seems to be coming back or something, god help us, in Season 5. There's an opportunity for the story to do something interesting and cool with her. I thought, verbatim, the same thing about Hattie. Lmao. I thought the Arthur x Hattie parallel was obvious and was excited to see it explored in season 4. Instead we got a bunch of new dudes, and development for the old dudes, while Hattie got literally NOTHING BECAUSE SHE WAS OLD!!!! WTF!!! So yeah I don't have a whole lot of faith for it being good

[eldritch-spouse]

Rinx soulmate being consumed with greed but homeless/poor?

[Oh I LOVE this. Fem reader.]

There's a new demon in the city.

Well, not just any demon, that by itself wouldn't be note worthy. Nah.

Fancy guy. One of the big shots.

From what you've heard so far, the huge being causing complete mayhem is none other than the Icon of Greed himself. Yeah, that guy! Broccoli head. What's his name- Uh, Rings? Yep.

It's been pretty fun watching him go. The vast majority of people are locking up their homes and businesses, fleeing the streets while the demonlord and his servants terrorize the area. It's nothing short of admirable to you. He points to a shop, his servants ransack it completely, handing him some of the spoils so the King can have them immediately and sate his instincts. You've seen the fucker pick people up. Entire people, just having them be dragged into Hell. Maybe he collects them, you sure as fuck won't claim to know what these elites get up to in their free time.

You wished, oh so bad, that you had that type of freedom, the power to just take things, take everything you want! Because it should be yours. You should get to have all the nice things which sit outside your reach yet taunt you oh so cruelly. Day and night. A tormenting existence.

Point is, you're getting some sort of karmic satisfaction from watching the snobs around you get royally fucked. It's not so funny when someone takes everything you have, is it? When all you've worked so hard to get in life is ripped from your hands, as if you're no more than a child. Yes, maybe now they'll stop looking at you with such disgust in their eyes. Get a little humbled... Oh, who are you kidding? These people get high off their own farts, they won't learn a thing from this.

Knowing this, you've mostly just been enjoying the show. There's no need to hide, after all. There's not a single penny to your name at the moment. Zero. Your clothes are tattered and you have literally nothing remotely expensive to claim. Plus, you're not dolled up like most of the folks in these parts, so it's not like you'd ever be a target, right? What would a greed demonlord and his servants want with a human that's piss poor?

Nothing.

So there's no need to get stressed, right?

You sit on your usual bench, covering yourself under a worn blanket, clutching a discarded pillow you had found in the midst of the chaos. Most people would be sane enough to feel perturbed, but you fall asleep to the sounds of screaming, glass breaking and doors being torn asunder like it's the most wonderful lullaby.

Something's moving.

You groan, annoyed from a tugging sensation out of nowhere. It takes a moment before your sluggish brain catches up with reality. And you realize someone's trying to steal your pillow.

Bleary eyes peer up at a small pink form clad in a maid's garb. The demon appears to startle a little once she realizes you're awake, adjusting her glasses and offering you a guilty look- Although not letting go of your pillow.

" Fucking- Excuse me? " You nearly snarl at her.

" A-Ah- " She's tugging harder now, but you don't let go either. You'll be damned if you let her take this out of your hands! There are so many other things she could be looting, she's going to pick on the homeless person?! What a bitch. " Miss please, I'm just doing my job! "

" Some fucking job you have- There are stores everywhere, why do you have to screw with me?! "

She appears to fluster slightly, caught red-handed. In her moment of awkwardness, you yank the pillow forcibly out of the demon's hands, clutching it to yourself while you glare daggers at her. You're sure she can hurt you, but you have nothing to lose anyway.

" F-Fine! You looked like an easy target. I'm just trying to meet a quota, I don't want to hurt you. Just give me that pillow and I'll leave you be. " She's getting really agitated, but so are you, taking several steps back, which she quickly tries to cover.

" No way! Fuck off, get another one. " You're not giving it away, you just aren't. It's always been hard for you to part with things, this is no different.

" I would, if there were any left around here! "

" Oh bullshit. Look, this isn't even a good one. "

" It's not the quality, it's the quantity! " The imp tugs at her long dark tresses, exasperated. " Miss please, I don't want to hurt anyone. "

That just makes you angrier. " No! I won't- "

All of a sudden, you bump into something solid. Not a wall, it's too warm for that. A feeling of total dread washes over you, draining the color off your face as you freeze like a corralled animal. The imp before you jumps as well, standing straighter.

" M-My- My King! " She stammers, and part of you almost wants to faint. You might very well die here.

" What's this, Nena? Can't you do something as basic as getting me new bed dressings? "

You recognize that snobbish voice. It's him. It's actually him. The Greed lord, right behind you. Gasping, you try to dart sideways, quickly stopped by a freakishly large hand which easily traps your entire chest against his form.

Another, ring-clad hand comes to pluck the pillow from your grasp. And as much as you wanted to offer resistance, you don't say a peep or move a muscle.

" There we go, see? Like taking candy from a ba-... "

All of a sudden, his speech crashes entirely, leaving everyone in a confusing, concerning stillness. You have no idea what's going on, pinned under a gigantic hand, heart racing, looking at this "Nena" demon who appears as scared and anxious as you. This can't be good.

Shivers grace the back of your skull, making you glance upwards, coming face to face- Well, face to orb-thing with the demonlord. You assume he's staring intensely at you, perhaps repulsed by your disheveled appearance, or considering how to end your existence for inconveniencing his quest for, what was it again? Bed dressing?

" L- Lord Rinx, sir? " The pink imp eventually speaks up, snapping her superior out of his daze.

Rinx straightens up like a plank, his grip on you unfortunately still foolproof. " Gather everything and everyone, we're going back home. "

She shakes her head. " But sir, we're not ready- "

" We're going home. Now. "

That tone certainly leaves no room for questioning.

" Yes, yes sir! " And she's scrambling away, nearly tripping on her own feet as she starts frantically calling out for others, leaving you and the massive demon who just stole your pillow alone.

You're not quite sure what to do or say, so you wait for him to move first, puzzled when all he does is brush somewhat messy locks of hair away from your face.

" What have they done to you? "

The murmur is nearly inaudible. You're not sure what he's talking about, so you just blink, unnerved by the gentleness of his touch. The demon manages to make your eyeballs nearly pop put of your skull when he actually hands you back the same pillow. He... He gave it back. Greed demons don't do that, this guy is clearly ill.

" How long have you been living like this...? "

Why does he care? Does he think he can fool you? What kind of game is this?! Instead of answering, you just frown, turning your face away. It's all the answer he needs.

" Unacceptable. We're going to fix this immediately. " He taps his own head, which is weirdly tiny compared to his hands.

" I don't want your pity. " You're not even sure if that's what he's offering you.

The large demon chuckles, taking your hand in his as he begins walking somewhere, large legs forcing you to awkwardly jog in order to keep up. " My little treasure, I'm not offering you pity, I'm going to give you all the finest luxuries the world has! "

Something thin and green coils around your waist, it takes you a panicked moment to realize that's his tail, ending in an odd fluffy tuft. His words haven't quite processed yet, in fact, it's easy to believe you're still asleep on that very same bench, drooling on yourself probably.

" B-But-... Why? "

The million dollar question that has your eyes narrowed in clear suspicion.

" Because this is no way to treat my future Queen! Just look at yourself! Tell me names, I'll wipe the streets of Greed with them. "

Q... Queen?

Queen of Greed? What.

Not leaving you a second to digest the information, Rinx halts abruptly to rummage through the almost imperceptible pockets of his flashy red jacket, jingling and clinking titilates your ears, until he fishes out a small ring, pinched between sharp claws but shining like a star. You know that's real diamond on it. Why would he ever have anything fake? He's a king. In spite of all that's happening, you can't help batting your eyelashes at it, as if to enchant the thing into magically becoming yours.

No such effort is necessary apparently, because the other kneels before you, in the middle of these utterly trashed and deserted streets, gently bringing your wrist closer so he can slide the jewelry on your ring finger.

This- Oh God, you really are going to pass out any moment now.

Rinx hums pleasantly at his work, lifting the very same hand so he can nuzzle into your palm and sigh. " I know, diamond is too cheap for you, don't be offended dear, we'll find better later. "

What the fuck.

No. You know what? This is great. You have no idea what's wrong with this demon, why he thinks you of all people are going to be his future "Queen", but why not take advantage of it? Why not let yourself enjoy some pampering for once? After all these horrid years, living day by day, never sure of anything, not even your own safety- You deserve this. You deserve nice things. He's right. And even if you never come to love him at all, it's a much better life than what you currently have going on.

So why not give it a chance, you ponder as you examine the brilliant ring around your finger. Why not try?

" Rinx? "

" Mm? "

" A-As your Queen- " Lord, his tail is swatting around so hard you're afraid he'll take flight at any moment, hanging off your every word. " I never want to pay for anything again... And I want a new wardrobe. "

His laughter is so jovial it's intoxicating. " Deal! Deal! Anything you want is yours! "

You're picked up in a blink, cradled to his chest, where a heart wildly hammers. The hand cradling your head is not as threatening as it should be.

" As long as I get to keep you. "

That doesn't sound like a bad deal to you.

[hopelessdelusional]

.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

begin again

Ro actually posting early and not at 11:50????? what is this??? what is happening????

yeah that’s right BITCHES i’m posting early since i did this YESTERDAY which means wednesday (hopefully) will ALSO be early

but idk bc i’m having a DC brainrot rn specifically i made an oc and an entire alien race so i’ve been pretty dead set on writing that rn BUT fear not the next chapter will be good especially bc that’s when the angst ball starts rolling

anyways once again asking for requests for little side blurbs since my x singer! reader did so well which btwwwwww holy guacamole y’all blew that up thank you so much!! it feels so good to have spent so much time on that and it get recognized 🥺🥺🥺

fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

- did you notice that i went back and fixed all the little aesthetics on the previous chapters 😺😺😺😺😺 that literally took like two hours what the hell (the older chapters were SO ugly holy shit how did y’all let that slide)

- also i saw the comments on the last post i promise i will drop that lore soon!!

- when yn is super into her work she completes shuts the world out like gone bye so when toshi was talking to her she was like “uh huh, yeah totally, okay” when in reality she has no idea what he’s saying

- i added that user saying the parks and rec quote bc i knew not a lot of people would know/notice and I HAVE TO BE SEEN

- hopefully you noticed but bkg has started using lower caps for texting…just one of the many impacts yn has on him

- (pls ignore the upper case of that one comment tho i had a brain fart)

- which honestly this reminds me of how yn slowly got sho not to be a dry texter😭

- momo is so cute :((((

- hitoshi 100% is obsessed with those weird live streams and trolls them

- zu is always digging for the tea or gossip and i love him for that

- zu and sho were sitting next to each other picking out which pic they would send at the same time😭😭

- idk who to make sero’s love interest since my main ship is with him and todoroki so PLEASE put down a character (or even an oc!!! i love oc’s!!!!) that i can set him up with bc SINCE IM NOT IN LOVE MY CHARACTERS WILL BE DAMMIT

- …sorry that was aggressive

←Prev˚✧ Next→

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ updates every wednesday and sunday! happy wildest dreams sunday ✧.*

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ TAGLIST IS OPEN just message or comment: @iiilovemilfs @0anodite0 @bakugouswh0r3 @amethyst123 @nijirosz @nathan-sharp-wife @allnamesredacted @ch3rryhaze @ectoplasmictoast @cathwritestragediesnotsins @tati-the-fangirl @autumnfay @call-me-prodigy @chuugarettes @sammyam @kotoprincesa @bubblewordsofsodapop

[efingart]

Fanfic Writer Asks

tagged by @voltac thank you!!💙💙💙

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16 (18 if you count my secret account lol)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

181,206 (+12,106 secret account)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Call of Duty

4. Top five fics by kudos

Just What I Needed, Go All Night, Uncle Frank

5. Do you respond to comments?

Oh yeah, if I haven't responded on ao3 it's probably because I talked to the person one-on-one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'd say Has to Be Enough

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think Go All Night

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope

9. Do you write smut?

Hahah yes.

10. Craziest crossover:

None yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A long time ago when I was in highschool.

14. All time favorite ship?

99% of my stuff is Frank x Mila so I guess I gotta go with that.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I plan on finishing all of them eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character development, interactions, dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't tend to describe my environments in great detail unless necessary.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't attempt this.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Sailor Moon lol

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Strays, Bruises, and Burgers (tumblr link) I will kiss you on the mouth (not literally) if you read it and comment on it. It is so underloved. I love it so much. I'm going to make a comic of it someday.

tagging: @revnah1406 , @writeforfandoms , @imagoddamnonionmason, @socially-awkward-skeleton

I'm having a brain fart remembering who else is on ao3 😭

[sublimecatgalaxy]

hey bro, hope ur doing well and happy holidays <3 i have a elliot request cuz he’s my comfort character atm: could it be like platonic soulmates with prompt 16 where they’re just a bit flirty but like in a sarcastic way?

Of course!! I hope this is what you were thinking when you requested :) I hope you had a good start to your new year!

"I have so many questions when I look at the two of you." Jules calls out suddenly, breaking the silence of our smoke circle and she pulls the blunt away from her smirking lips. Elliot and I look at each other with a curious look before glancing over at the girls who share a similar, intrigued look on their stoned faces.

"What do you mean?" I ask, throwing my legs across Elliot's lap as he immediately glues his hands to the sensitive skin of my thighs, drawing aimless circles into my bare skin.

"Well, you're not fucking." Rue observes and I chuckle, taking a hit off of my blunt before giving her a simple shake of my head. "You've never kissed?" She asks and I hear Elliot snicker beside me, head leaning to dip into the crook of my neck to hide his smile.

"We never said that." I tease vaguely with a grin, knowing that it would cause a brain fart in the girls since they would expect the two of us to divulge them in all of our juicy secrets like they would. You would expect. Elliot and I laugh quietly to ourselves, watching the two girls look at each other, brows furrowed in mutual confusion.

"You've never wondered what it would be like to date?" Jules asks, wafting her hand to disperse the smoke around her with a cough.

"Nope." I shake my head with a shrug and Elliot nods, agreeing quietly with me as he wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. "We're perfectly fine the way that we are."

"But you guys flirt all the time." We nod, knowing we've been over this so many times between the four of us. For some reason, it's so hard for them to understand that Elliot and I like to mess with each other, to be all over each other, without all of the extra shit that comes with being in a relationship or talking about our feelings.

Friends with benefits except the benefits are confusion everyone else around us and having each other as fake partners to bring to family events.

"Yeah but it doesn't mean anything."

"Elliot, you literally looked at her twenty minutes ago and said 'I don't bite, unless you're into that sort of thing' and winked at her." Jules shouts and Rue immediately bursts out in a fit of laughter, patting Jules back as she sends me a wink from across the room.

"Yes and?" Elliot asks, looking down at me with a nonchalant smile. "We just like to fuck with each other."

"More like fuck each other."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

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