#yeah our brain is kind of weird about dreams

[indigochromatic]

🌙 How does your system handle dreams?

That's an interesting question! Our dreams are kind of Weird (although tbh, whose aren't). It's almost always me fronting while dreaming, and even when S fronts it's nearly always (except for a few memorable cases) like he's "switched in", and still has to use my/our IRL body in the dream--and also, we don't seem to be able to do co-con, somehow? Like, we can switch, but it's all 'backdoor switches', with maybe a second or two of overlap where we can sense/feel each other and then it's back to dream chaos alone. Really wish we could figure that one out, it kinda sucks tbh. We also used to have way more problems with "lucid, but not in the fun way" dreams, where I'd be awake in the dream...but without the stereotypical lucid-dreaming-omipotence thing: it's like being a video game character with no powers and no items trying to navigate an ever-shifting, chaotic (and sometimes not-super-friendly) landscape. - tw unreality/derealization below - Also I'd dream about waking up, and think I'd woken up until something went Weird (for example, realizing that the view outside my window is slightly the wrong angle, or changed since I last looked at it)...then try to wake up, dream about waking up again, etc, for multiple loops/in a row until finally actually being able to wake up. Not super fun, although more frustrating/sad/isolating-feeling than horrific. (The nightmares can definitely get horrific, but those feel more like rapid-onset panic attacks while asleep that cause the dream landscape to shift abruptly or something like that, idk) - end tw unreality/derealization - Some of the more negative dream stuff has gotten better on average, after an odd, multi-day, back-of-headspace episode that I can only describe as "S picked a fight with some part of our subconscious and won", so that's been helpful. I used to be able to "fix" my nightmares by just shifting into dragon shape at-will, but for some reason that seems to be working less well in the past couple of years. I've also had some luck with talking to dream NPCs politely and asking if I could wake up.

Another kind of neat/odd thing I've noticed is that sometimes (I only really notice during lucid episodes, so idk if happens the rest of the time as well or not), the dream's "visual channel" and "audio channel" will be...disconnected, basically? Like, there will be the usual chaos-brain dream landscape going on, with it's 1-3 seconds of stability before shifting, and then a simultaneous mostly entirely unrelated radio-chatter audio track going on "in my head" (like, it's not coming from the dream, it's in my head while I'm dreaming), like hypnogogic auditory hallucinations carrying on into the dream? Feels distinct from system communication, because even though there's clear words and different voices, there's...like, no feeling of substance behind them, and you can't really converse with them. It doesn't feel like a person, it feels like I'm hearing the background-radiation static noise thoughts of my brain translated directly into pseudo-auditory information. We don't get hallucinations (afaik) while awake, so that's interesting!

We've also had one especially long-and-weird lucid dream episode that involved sort of being given a "tour" of a bunch of visual metaphors of brain functions, with multiple rounds of me "floating back up to the surface" of waking and then dipping back down--and during those kinda-awake windows, I could talk to S, who said it felt like he could "see a little into the dream over your shoulder", as though I was standing in a doorway and he was looking past me at what was beyond it--but he couldn't follow me into it, for some reason (we still don't know why). Also I can daydream in dreams. Like, I can be asleep and in a dream, trying to imagine a thing (usually carrying on whatever thread I was following before falling asleep), which stays internal to my head even within the plane of the dream, so I'm like, trying to find a chill spot in-dream to sit and continue the daydream thoughts, but occasionally get interrupted by weird dream stuff and have to look around for a different chill spot. I've tried seeing if I can impose the daydream-visualizations onto the dream landscapes, the way lucid dreams are "supposed" to work (and how they used to work more frequently for me when I was younger), and for some reason they just sort of stay in the "daydream channel" even while dreaming. It's sort of hilariously many layers of meta, and I have no idea why our brain apparently does this currently, maybe it'll change again someday.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC More Shit Fae!Danny Has Said While Living With Waynes

Dick, opening his arms wide and going for a hug: hey, Danny!

Danny, looking him in the eyes without blinking: did you know that centuries ago fae really liked to crawl inside human bodies and use them as nests? I heard human insides are really warm and squishy.

Dick, sweating, frozen in place: ...no?..

Danny, smiling and cheerfully jumping to hug Dick: I didn't either!

Jason, because he is feeling adventurous today: I have a question. Where do Fae come from?

Danny: Ah, so B hadn't had the Talk with you yet, what a shame. So when a woman and a man love each other very much-

Damian: Enough of your foolish jokes, I do not wish to hear the sex talk from you. To answer your question, Todd, Fae come from the dreams.

Jason, deadpan: ...really?

Danny, very awkwardly: Um. Dami. Brother to my soul. I'm so sorry.

Damian: What?

Danny: I told you we come from dreams only because you were four. That's not actually how it works. We just fuck.

Duke, narrowing his eyes at Danny suspiciously: So, for the past week and a half, I've been having this recurring dream about you eating my brain with a fork like spaghetti. I was wondering, is it, like, a you thing or a me thing?

Danny, very offended: Duke! Not every weird thing that happens in this house is my fault! That is very rude of you!

Cass, after Duke had apologized profusely and left: You.

Danny, rolling his eyes: Yeah, okay, I did do that. In my defense, his fear tastes like the perfect greasy cheeseburger, and I have to get my fair share of junk food somehow.

Cass: >:(

Danny: Okay, I'll stop. Eventually.

Bruce, in his nth attempt at gaining information from Danny: How do you know if someone is a Fae or not?

Danny: Throw a fish at them.

Bruce: ????

Danny, not even looking up from his phone: Fish are scared of the Fae. So if you throw a fish at someone and the fish gets scared, they are Fae.

Gotham Rogues a week later: We have no idea why Batman keeps throwing guppies at us, but we collectively suspect his new child is to blame.

Danny: Oh, I'm forbidden to enjoy caraoke nights.

Steph, who suggested he join: What? Why? Is it some kind of punishment for the pizza incident?

Tim: No, it's because if he starts singing, we all lose our grip on reality.

Damian: And our dignity.

Danny: They mean they start dancing whether they want it or not, and I have videos to prove it. Wanna see Jason twerking? Or I have one with Tim and Bruce waltzing through the manor.

Steph, as everyone else bemoans their fate: With great pleasure.

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@violet-foxe

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE august edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the august catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

WHAT UR DREAMS REVEAL ABOUT YOU ;

have u ever woken up from a vivd dream and thought "what does that even mean?" yeah same. so i decided to dive into this for this catalog and here's what i found. dreams represent unconscious desires and wishes. we have dreams that mirror our emotional state.

three of the most common dreams that people have are falling, being chased, and dying. which are all inherently negative things. when u dream of falling, it shows a loss of control over an important situation. when u dream of being chased, thats ur brains way of telling u that ur stressed out. and when u dream of dying, it could represent a part of you that is dying or something you'd like to escape. 

and dreams about death are the most scary to me cuz i have MASSIVE fear of death but there are more than just negative dreams. usually my dreams consist of things that radiate positivity, or my dreams can be flat out weird. either way, if i remember my dreams i like to write them down and yap about them with my friends.

HAIR HEAVEN ;

i thought that since its leo season and leo's have the BEST hair its only right that hair is the topic of this month's beauty section. so im going to focus on talking about styling, treatments and general care.

how you style ur hair is SO super important to ur whole vibe and aesthetic. hair styles look different on everyone for a multitude of reasons but one of the most obvious is that people have different face shapes and different styles are flattering on different faces.

remember, u dont have to get the same haircut as ur favorite celeb bcuz its so much more cute and original when u get ur own haircut…💬🎀

now unto hair treatments. hair treatments are so important to keep ur hair healthy and lustrous and just well taken care of. so im going to give some hair mask and treatment recipes to keep ur hair healthy and radiant…💬🎀

now finally lets talk about some general tips to keep ur hair gorgeous and lovely on a day to day basis.

♡ use scrunchies instead of elastics when u can to avoid putting strain on ur hair

♡ incorporate collagen into ur diet with supplements or vitamins because its rly rly good for hair skin and nails

♡ when using heat on ur hair, use a heat protectant and try not to apply heat to ur hair on a daily basis

AUGUST MUSIC ;

this month i've really been listening to CHECK by the girl group FLO and let me just say, that song is an absolute MASTERPIECE. the music video was amazing. i love love the cinematography and the concept cuz its super hyper girly just like me and the girls looked so amazing and beautiful.

one of my favorite albums that also dropped this month was latto's sugar honey iced tea album. latto is so so talented and gorgeous and she rly ate down with this album so i highly recommend it to anyone who's been thinking about giving it a listen. my favorite songs on the album are shrimp & grits, look what u did and S/O to me.

BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON ;

for a lot of us, its back to school season and its the time to kind of transition from summer -> into the school year SO here are 5 tips on how to seamlessly transition from ur hot girl summer into a successful school year…💬🎀

♡ get urself an established routine

get urself an established routine 2 weeks before u start cuz the earlier u start ur routine, the quicker it'll be for it to become a habit. adjust ur sleep schedule by sleeping a little earlier, and going to bed at a reasonable time.

♡ reflect and write down some goals

reflect on ur last school year, what u did good and what u did not so good and based on that formulate a couple goals that u can commit to and hold urself accountable to so that then ur making progress thats trackable.

♡ be organized

organize ur notion, ur space, ur school bag EVERYTHING. organization is so crucial especially for school and can protect u from feeling overwhelmed and cluttered.

♡ brief review

im not the kind of person that like summer work, in fact i hate it. but a week or two before school starts i'll do a quick refresh or research the classes that im going to be taking to kind of set myself up for success.

♡ fix ur attitude

stay POSITIVE and dont take on a bad approach to this school year before you've even started. believe in urself, ur discipline and ur abilities and stay in a good mindset.

i have lots of back to school content planned still that hasn't dropped including studying, resources etc so that we can slay this school year…💬🎀

BACK TO SCHOOL FASHION ;

details for back to school fashion/academic princess style :

♡ plaid

♡ grey, pink, black and white color scheme

♡ collared shirts and jackets

♡ pleated mini skirts

♡ sweaters

♡ headbands

♡ knee/thigh high socks

long bouncy curls with a headband that matches something on ur outfit. ballet flats and leg warmers. baby pink gloss and square shaped french tips, delicate necklaces and bracelets…💬🎀

when i think of pink academia fashion the first person that comes to my brain is cher from clueless. here are some of her most princess academia moments in the movie.

cher emphasizes literally everything i've talked about in the pink princess school fashion scheme. the pretty socks, fluffy pens, collared shirts and pink->white->grey color scheme. even the way that she does her hair is very very pretty and flattering.

WHATS MY HOROSCOPE (AUGUST 25-31) ;

♡ you’re the star of the show this month, virgo! it all begins on august 4th with a leo new moon that awakens your zone of spirituality. you could be focused on sacred release to clear space, welcoming in new beginnings. confidence is cultivated through deep soul-searching. on the same day, venus enters your sign, bringing a boost to your energy, creative projects, and style. mercury stations retrograde, also in virgo, encouraging self-reflection.

♡ for aries, it’s an exciting month ahead! the action begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of pleasure, inviting you to follow your passions! a playful approach in romance and creativity can inspire new beginnings that feel fun and stress-free. on the same day, venus enters virgo and visits your sector that rules self-care, encouraging you to embrace healthier habits. In the evening, mercury goes retrograde in virgo, signaling a time for you to get centered.

♡ for taurus, it’s an emotionally powerful month. it all begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of intuition, bringing major insights that lead you to new beginnings. with your environment in the spotlight as well, you might use this time to beautify your living space, pulling in bold animal prints and patterns. later in the day, love planet venus enters virgo, activating your zone of pleasure. take a practical approach to love, money, and creativity. then, mercury stations retrograde in virgo, urging you to release perfectionism and rest.

♡ for gemini, his month is full of connection! the magic starts on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your communication sector, inspiring you to shine your light, share your ideas, and express yourself. leo’s passion blends with the fresh slate of the new moon to bring you an exciting new path to explore. later, venus enters virgo, awakening your intuition so you can manifest! mercury stations retrograde in virgo as the evening comes to a close, marking a period of rest and awareness.

♡ for cancer, success is yours this month! it all begins on august 4th, when the new moon in leo visits your money zone, inspiring you to share your talents and build up your resources. the bold expression of your skills impresses others and serves as a beautiful boost of confidence for you too! you’ll crave more meaningful conversations when venus enters virgo, awakening your communication sector. mercury stations retrograde in virgo at the end of the day, signaling a time of required pause.

♡ for leo, it’s an expansive month! the excitement starts on august 4th, when a new moon in your sign ignites a path to new beginnings. you’re stepping into the most confident version of yourself! set intentions for the future with courage and inspiration. on the same day, venus enters practical virgo and visits your financial sector, helping you organize money matters and work projects. mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, encouraging you to embrace stress reduction and physical relaxation.

♡ for libra, it’s an enlightening month ahead, libra! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your friendship sector and invites you to step into the social spotlight. you could be making plans with friends or passionately helping others. set intentions for the future and remember that dreams do come true! venus enters virgo later to help you get grounded as you explore your emotional realm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo that night, highlighting the importance of practicality.

♡ for scorpio, prepare for a month of empowerment! the leo new moon on august 4th inspires you to showcase your talents. by doing so, important people take notice and doors of opportunity open. don’t be afraid to courageously share your expertise. venus enters virgo later in the day, enhancing your powers of negotiation as well as your charm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo before the day ends, signaling a need for patience.

♡ for sagittarius, it’s an adventurous month! the fun begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon lights up your travel zone, encouraging you to explore on physical, intellectual, and spiritual levels. embrace new beginnings that bring abundance into your life. venus enters virgo on the same day, inviting in well-deserved acknowledgment and opportunity. mercury stations retrograde in virgo, asking you to review your long-term commitments and responsibilities.

♡ for capricorn, it’s a month of personal growth, capricorn! the leo new moon on august 4th awakens your zone of transformation and brings change. you could be healing your relationship with money or crafting a plan to tackle debt. when you surrender into evolution, manifestations become reality. venus enters virgo later and lands in your adventure zone. seek out experiences that feel fun, expansive, and abundant. mercury goes retrograde in virgo before the night ends and asks you to slow down.

♡ for aquarius, your relationships are highlighted this month, aquarius! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your relationship zone and opens new paths in love. create heart-led manifestations and enjoy quality time connecting with others. venus enters virgo on the same day and visits your sector of intimacy, encouraging you to bond beyond the physical plane. communicate with care when mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of potential misunderstandings and snafus.

♡ for pisces, get ready to fall in love this month, pisces! it begins with the leo new moon on august 4th that encourages you to love the most important person of all: you! this is the time to take excellent care of your mind, body, and soul so you can feel rejuvenated. venus enters virgo the same day, activating your relationship zone. strengthen your bonds! mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of healing.

CELEBRITY GOSSIP - BLAKE LIVELY ;

this month the movie "it ends with us" was released starring blake lively and justin baldoni and it has been gaining LOTS of traction on the internet for a multitude of reasons. i haven't been to watch the movie yet but if u have, tell me how it was!

the reason why im going to be talking about this in the celebrity gossip section is because of the fiasco blake lively and how out of touch she is…💬🎀

blake is getting called out for how shes been acting during her press tour for it ends with us and her past actions and behaviors that rly showcase how tone deaf she is. the movie is based on the book it ends with us that was written by colleen hoover, and in the book it explores topics such as domestic violence, emotional abuse etc. because of the serious nature of the movie, her saying "grab ur friends, wear ur florals" was a tone mismatch.

a clip of her is going viral where she was asked by the interviewer on, what was the best way someone who understands the themes of the movie, could talk to her. and she responds with literal sarcasm. leaving everyone confused and kind of put off. furthermore during the filming for the movie about literal DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. she launches a haircare brand. which could just be unfortunate timing but i feel like with how good marketing is, this wasn't a coincidence but thats just my opinion.

the last thing i wanna talk about is an interview a while back when blake was pregnant. the interviewer congratulated her saying "congrats on ur little bump" which is so sweet. blake responds "congrats on YOUR little bump" which was SO uncalled for because one, the lady wasn't pregnant and two, the lady literally couldn't have kids. throughout the interview blake just continued to be absolutely obnoxious, ignoring the interviewers questions and just being such a horrible guest.

anyways i'd love to hear ur thoughts and opinions on this situation in the comments and if ur kinda curious about the celeb gossip i recommend watching this video bcuz d'angelo rly explains everything well.

STYLE DISSECTION MARILYN MONROE ;

marilyn monroe is an absolute ICON and legend in literally every form of the word. shes an amazing role model and something that i rly rly love about her is ur style and her beauty which is why im doing this month's style dissection on her…💬🎀

one of my favorite marilyn monroe outfits was her gorgeous deep burgandy silky dress in the film how to marry a millionaire. in this film we get the ICONIC diamonds are a girls best friend and honestly they're right. marilyn sports GORGEOUS diamond jewelry in this movie that rly tie her outfits together and give the air of luxury and opulence that is so so hard to recreate which is why no one can do it quite like marilyn.

marilyn rly made the iconic 1950s glam what it was. everything from her signature platinum blonde bob to her gorgeous, feminine allure. in her film gentlemen prefer blondes shes wearing an absolutely stunning orange dress that shows off her body. it has a super flowy mermaid cut at the bottom which compliments the snugness of the dress around her waist, hips and chest.

i could talk for HOURS about the fashion icon that marilyn monroe is but we dont have that kind of time in this years august issue of the it girls magazine…💬🎀

[tuliptic]

What Is My Purpose Here On This Land

This is for all, but especially for those with existential crises. We’ve wondered what we are meant to do, do we have a purpose being on this planet, and many more questions continue to feed our brains. 

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: What messages does your weary heart need to hear? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1    -     Pile 2

Pile 3    -     Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck  (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.

Pile 1: The Rose

A card to represent you: The Chariot

One funny thing when I was shuffling this deck was that this card came out tumbling. It was like.. Upright, reverse, upright again. I’m taking this as a sign. You like taking the wheel. You’ve been through the ups and downs as you journey ahead, sometimes lacking direction, learning self-discipline throughout the process, learning the importance of strength and will, finding balance, and driving to where you are right now. There’s this determination that you’ve gained from past experience, and you’re still driving ahead. A word of advice is to be aware of your own focus level, and to take a rest when you’re tired. The journey of life ahead is long, and it’s always alright to take a break now and then. For some reason, I also feel some of you may be travelling right now, or intend to travel in the future. Make sure to prepare a proper itinerary and have emergency numbers saved! 

1. What is my role here on earth? - The High Priestess

First word I’m picking up is healing. You’re the person who answers to the cries of help, being the Universe’s hands in providing aid to those who pray for it, to be that gentle beauty without losing your thorns. You’re called to be the healing energy, to be the kindness that people need but may or may not deserve. Not to put a burden on you, but you probably tend to be kind and subconsciously heal or watch over those who need your help, even strangers, and even people who do not deserve those kindness. (There’s this nagging behind my head that reminds me of the people in Gotham who did nothing yet yells for help/salvation, instead of fighting and protecting their “loved” ones.)

2. Have I achieved it? - The Fool

You’re only starting on this journey. Or maybe have yet to start on this journey. You probably realised this uhhh ability of yours very recently, or have only decided to really start doing something on it. See, realising this ability/skill doesn’t mean you have to do something about it. You may realise your skill for art but not continue cultivating that skill. It’s the same. You’ve probably stopped all those questions and try to take out that first step to do it. You’re killing your doubt step by step, betting in yourself and trusting in yourself to do something entirely new. (Yes, ITZY’s Bet On Me is playing as I write this.)

3. How to achieve it? - The Sun

There are so many things embodied in this card: brightness, hope, ray of hope, and more to come. What I’m feeling from this is mainly warmth, asking you to just be this Sun, to shine just as you are. It’s gonna sound weird but imagine healing rays? I’m cringing and having a weird face as I type this out. But yeah, just be who you are, to continue doing what you do. Just know that your presence is like a walking energy-purifier, lifting up the spirits even by smiling to strangers or wishing them a good day. You can attempt to try doing something else, for example, being more active in volunteer work in nursing homes and shelters, playing a part in activist activities, or even taking up counselling courses to help people out. These are only some of the many ways that are available. Most importantly is that you do kindness with kindness, not to have any ulterior motives behind them.

4. Why do I need to do it? - Seven of Wands rx

The world is changing, more and more people are experiencing a feeling of defeat and overwhelmingness, including you. All are called to make a change, and this is your part in the pledge to make a change. We have arrived at a time of change, and actions need to be taken. People have been fighting among themselves, you may even have been having conflicting thoughts and contradicting beliefs. Peace has been taken away, and instead of fighting to get back that same peace, it’s time to recreate a new peace that will work for this new world. A new structure is needed, and you’re one of those first few people who are tasked to build things anew again.

5. What can I learn from it? - King of Pentacles rx

What you’ll be learning is not only based on what you’ve experienced, but from what you’ve observed. You saw the fall of those who have been obsessed with earthly riches, those who have been paying attention to the materialistic realm, and have forgotten to nourish their soul and mental energy. The downfall was harsh and painful, reminding you that balance is needed in every aspect. From there, you’re gonna continue spreading kindness, letting the scars of the past be a reminder of what has happened, and how you’re gonna redirect the course of your energy.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Knight of Pentacles rx

Self-discipline will take you to a lot of places, and will also be able to take you to places that you thought you never would’ve reached. This gift of yours, this purpose of your is not to let you be more spiritual, but to be more down to earth. You’re supposed to be the bridge between the spiritual themes with the practical, existing world we’re living in right now.  From this, you’ll also be able to get connected to your roots, your family, your ancestry, even get connected to your race. I hope I do not get into trouble with how I phrase myself here hshshs. But y’know how colonialism has affected a lot of things, like religion and even language. I don’t quite remember where I heard it, but Tagalog or Filipino, languages of the Philippines, have Spanish influence in it. Or how Christianity kinda replaced the other folk religions with how it’s being brought in. So yeah, you’ll need to do the dissection to find out which was the original, which you wanna connect with. You define your own roots, and you take charge of it.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Tower

Whilst you dream, you clear your mind of all negativity and your spirit will be refreshed. With that, you’ll charge ahead, doing everything you can until you feel that you’ve changed the world. It sounds really idealistic, but if you need to remember the catastrophic energy that The Tower brings. The change is not gonna be small, and you can’t do it alone. You’ll work ahead, without knowing how long it’ll take. You then make friends on the way, working towards the same goal but with different tasks, slowly but steadily paving and painting a new path. Just like the straw that breaks the camel’s back, your tiniest effort shatters the restrictive and unhelpful rules that were oppressing the people.  That’s what you’re meant to be, that’s what you can achieve. But I need to remind you that this self-fulfilment level differs for everyone. One can feel content by doing small things, while some want the satisfaction that comes with doing great things. They are all valid and powerful acts in their own ways, and no one can deny the effort and effect that comes with it.

Overall energy: The Fool, Ace of Pentacles

Overall, you’re called to take actions to start a new chapter of your life. You’re the main character of your own story, you’re the one who decides how you want to paint your journey. However, whatever that you’re intending to do, remember to not do it alone. A solo trip is fun, but a journey? It’s best to have people joining your cause to support each other. Remember that there are other animals in The Fool, cuz one is  a guide and the other is a guard/support. The energy of rebirth and transformation comes heavily in this pile, and sometimes, it can destroy you in the process. Proceed with caution and with faith. We are praying for you as you travel.

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Pile 2: The Mirror

A card to represent you: The Sun

You attempt to be a person to bring warmth to people around you. The Sun shines warm lights, and that’s something you enjoy as well. But sometimes, when anger gets hold of you, you tend to burn people around you, accidentally or on purpose. You don’t really use the reason “I didn’t mean to”, because if you injure people, you totally mean it. It’s probably due to them crossing your boundaries repeatedly, and you didn’t want to hold back any longer. But still, the card wants to remind you of who you wanted to be. Do not let anger cloud the true you. Let out that anger at the right person, and go back to who you are, the warm and accepting you.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Judgement rx

I don’t really wanna use the word here but you’re called to learn the karmic lessons in the past, may it be the current past or your past lives. There are times that you hold on to your values, yet the world continues to challenge you, which may have made you question what is the meaning of you being here, what do you need to do to get out of this cycle of unfairness. Instead of fighting it, it’s time for you to discard the mask of pride that you’ve been wearing, and accept that unfairness is a part of life that you need to go through. Once there's acceptance, you can build a new structure (structure on how you go through problems, or building up new values or habits, or anything else that can help you). Humility is what you need. And stay away from humiliation. These are two very different things. People taking credit over what you do is… Something you need to be aware of. But. If there are people out there who take credit over what you do yet accuse you of copying or shit like that? Fight.

2. Have I achieved it? - Seven of Pentacles

This is something that will take long to achieve it, but you’re still on the way. You probably have noticed this… Thing? That things have been unfair and that it is too tiring to live, and you’re somehow somewhat struggling through life. Sure, there are times that are fun, but you know that fun does not last long and once it’s time, you continue crashing the waves and pressure life gives you.  You feel like you’ve been doing this forever, and things just don’t seem that they are turning better. Have faith that it will. Belief is a skill that comes with birth, you just need to hold on to it, believing that things will resolve in the end. Which it will. The struggles will become lighter eventually, because hard work and effort pays off.

3. How to achieve it? - The Magician rx

There are some other untapped talents in you, and it’s time for you to unlock them. You need to be able to find them and develop them. It’s not something you can easily access to, but it’s something you’ll need to practise and to get good at, and then to use them wisely. This untapped skill of yours may be something spiritually related, with you standing in between humanity and spirituality. You need to be aware to not fall into people’s traps, and to make sure that you do not manipulate others in the process. I feel that this pile may have some talents or skills in manipulation and deception (either you’re aware or not), but you can choose to not do so. Remember, if you choose to do so, there will be more things that you’ll lose. The Magician talks about alchemy, where you use one thing to exchange for another of equal value. 

4. Why do I need to do it? - Nine of Wands

There’s a resilience that you need to learn, encouraging you to pay attention to your rights, believe in yourself and defend your position or property. It is time to gather your experiences and life lessons, to reflect on what life has shown you. There’s this hint of spirituality that you’re also called to evaluate - to see what it has to offer in your life, to see how you can use this to make it another life lesson/asset of yours. You need to remember that the process of learning can be difficult and challenging, but you can also make it fun, make it lighter. Unlike in school, where you learn without passion (for most people), you are now learning new things because you’re interested in it. So yeah, learn through playing and experimenting, celebrate each growth and resilience you’ve unlocked. I hope I’m making sense here.

5. What can I learn from it? - Four of Cups

I doubt that many who pick this pile are happy with meditation, but this is one thing you’ll be learning. There’s a need to reevaluate yourself, and realigning values within you. I’m having some difficulties in forming my words, because it feels like your pile already knows about this, but in some sense, refuse to do this, refuse to acknowledge this. You’ve probably heard a lot of this kinda talk, where you need to do this and that to achieve that enlightenment. You really didn’t like that, and you still don’t like it.  Yet, this is needed. You need to go through a long while of silence, a time of reflection, to make changes and to be reborn again. It’s difficult, you may cry again and again, because you’ve been in darkness for so long, slowly giving up on whatever ways are out there. Know that it can’t be any darker than this, and it’s also a chance for you to recognise light, and to embrace that light.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Five of Cups rx

You have to accept pain has been crucial in your growth, and walk away from it. It’s time for you to move on, and you’ll find yourself to be more… Accepting? Acceptance is a huge theme in your reading, where you acknowledge that this has happened, and you accept it, and then move on with life. As long as you accept something has happened, that weight will be slowly lifted away from your shoulders. You won’t be able to move when you’ve been crushed by all those unhappiness (or even happiness) that you’ve been holding onto. Focus on wholeness, learn how to take things up and put them down, continue on with the journey of letting go.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Hierophant

The Hierophant is often related to religion, and it being paired with spirituality speaks even more so. I’m not saying that achieving enlightenment (don’t mistake it with the Buddhist term, please) IS fulfilling for you, but it is one step to achieve what you wanted - release. Life’s burdens have been pulling this pile down, and what you want the most is release, release from responsibilities; release from fears; release from expectations; release from this endless cycle that has been trapping you. You’ll need to invite in a new thought to be released from what has been tying you down, and it’s time for you to be reborn again.

Overall energy: The Lovers, Eight of Cups

There are times where you need to make decisions between two choices that were offered to you. Oftentimes, you want to pick neither, but life decides it for you anyways. Either paths will lead you to where you’re meant to go, so why not stand still for now and listen to your life? Looking at it may be distracting, as there are a lot of worries and neon lights around. Make a cup of drink, sit down, put on your earphones and play some soft music. You might be able to hear something.  One thing I have to mention is that there’s a heavy Pluto and karmic energy I’m sensing from here. It’s like… A huge circle, a cycle, where things happen again and again. You’ll need time (and a lot of time) to complete this cycle, only then you can break free from there. Some may feel dejected, but do remember that every step you’re taking right now is bringing you closer to the end. The Mirror is also here for you to reflect, to see who you are, and to see who you are Inside.  Make this promise that you’ll be kind to yourself, appreciate each step that you’re taking and celebrate the small wins.

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Pile 3:  The Key

A card to represent you: The World

This pile is giving me a very comforting and secured energy. Paired with this card, those who picked this pile may have completed a project, or have achieved one of their goals in life, or are close to closing an existing project with success. You may also be one of the fixed signs (Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio) or have them in your personal planets.  Another thing I’m picking up is that some of you may be looking out for new projects to start when you haven’t reached the end of the current project. Take a step back, do not rush into things quickly. Sure, an end speaks of a new beginning, but you need time to plan a proper project and to recuperate from the exhaustion of the previous project.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Three of Swords rx

I’m seeing more of a guide here. You have been through difficulties in life, and from those, you’ve gained experiences, insights, knowledge and wisdom. With that, you’re tasked to guide the rest who are going through a hard time this round. It’s difficult because kindness isn’t something everyone is equipped with, and for you, especially, you may find it a lil bitter. This is where you challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, to try something that you’ve never thought of, or even detest. But you gotta do it as the path you step on is the road to growth and illumination.

2. Have I achieved it? - Knight of Wands

You're charging towards it, albeit a lil reckless. You do have the passion in it, and you’re more than willing to be the change, even wishing that the change is something that can change the world. You can’t wait to experience the storm and thunder, wanting to feel the same scale of impact.  However, you need to remember that passion can dissipate quickly, like how it started. There might be transits in your life, maybe Mars is transiting one of your personal planets right now, which gives you that impulse of wanting to achieve something. You are in control of your response, but the actions of other people and events are not. Do not be dejected when people reject you, but continue ahead without that recklessness.

3. How to achieve it? - Ten of Swords

You will be able to achieve it by going through defeats. You’re one who learns through actual defeats, the pain, remembering the falls of life through your body and soul. From there, only then you can compile those you’ve learnt and observed into a book, for your own and other’s references. At this phase, you may feel pulled between one path or another, and pushed to make a decision. It can be quite tense, but don’t avoid it. These tense situations build your strength, getting you ready to fly. Do not bend; do not submit defeat, continue ahead to chase after your ideals. Let that resolution and will to be your light.

4. Why do I need to do it? - Two of Wands rx

There’s a fear in you, not knowing what you are meant to achieve. This could be a personal goal for you to focus throughout your lifetime, building yourself up, giving you an unnamed courage to find your inner power. I feel that you may have subconsciously (or maybe consciously) compared yourself to people around you, wondering where in life you are, what you’re meant to do. To counter that, you need to set a personal goal, to have some sort of inner alignment, and figure out what you want to achieve. Do you want to appear as a confidant people turn to? Are you keen on sharing thoughts and experiences to make people’s lives a lil bit easier? Try taking a notebook and writing your goals down, and see what you need to do, or what you should stop doing to achieve that. It’s time that you activate a certain switch in you to be that fire (either to warm or to destroy. It’s up to you).

5. What can I learn from it? - The Hierophant, Ace of Pentacles

I feel that you may be even able to start something, maybe a support group or a club, especially in a religious context. There’s some form of finances involved in it, so yeah, maybe a support group where you guide others, and others guide the others, and let the leaves of the tree expand. Finances will be involved in terms that there are donations coming in, which you may use to assist those who are financially needy.  You’ll be able to accept this new side of yours, and be more willing to reach out your hands because you could physically see how this chain of kindness continues on, holding on more hope that things can actually change for the better.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Judgement

It is time for you to reevaluate your life, what meanings you want to fix to your life. There may be a calling to change your life or open your heart to new possibilities, to new responsibilities or a new field of work. The horn in this card symbolises that there may be a wake-up call from the world around you, telling you that it’s time to stop being in your head, to see the world for who it is, and how you’re supposed to make changes, or answer to those changes. Change can refer to something tangible and immediate, or the whole way one sees life. In fact, you may have already changed without realising it.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Five of Cups rx

There’s a release from pain and suffering. The pain and suffering does not necessarily mean something physical, but something that’s more on a spiritual level. Y’know how sometimes one can feel… Empty and blank? That. That is actually suffering on a spiritual level, because you have no direction, no guidance, and sometimes that could feel suffocating. Some out there could just go along with life even though they have no idea what to do, and it’s cuz their direction of life is to go along with what the journey has to offer. What you’re doing right now is just standing there and looking blankly to where your eyes are looking, which increases the weight in your chest and legs.  Through this, you’ll be able to find a proper direction and the awakening that comes with it will elevate you. Walking again after you’ve been standing so long will be uncomfortable at first, but take small and steady steps. You’ll find yourself running again soon.

Overall energy: The Star, Four of Swords

This reading talks about hope and rest, and how they come hand in hand. I felt a weight on my chest as I was typing the self-fulfilment part, because of how heavy the desperation and feeling of loss is. Know that The Star is shining a gentle ray of hope, consoling you that things will be better. The Star may not be visible all the time, especially in the daylight. But know that she is always there, and you can hear her whispers in the night, when you think you’re about to fall. Be kind to yourself and share your beauty as well as knowledge with those around you. But remember to take rests as well. You can’t afford to do much when you’re having a burnout. It’s alright to fall, but remember to rest and stand up again. Your passion is your greatest drive, go for it.

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Pile 4: The Word

A card to represent you: The Magician rx

I feel like you’re currently standing in the middle of two different things, two very different and distinct fields (like science vs arts, realism vs spirituality), not knowing where to head to. There’s some sort of pull from both of them and you’re feeling very, very torn.  However, remember that the Magician is someone that has a lot of skills, and has been acting as the bridge between the physical plane and the spiritual realm for a long time. You, also, have the skills to bridge between the various fields/things that are scattered across. As the bridge, you can see the connecting and overlapping points, and you can build out from there. You honour differences and expand.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Two of Swords rx

Your role is to take out the blinds that were covering the people’s eyes, including yours. You are called to stop them from hiding or shying away from the truth, making them see what is the truth, calling them to face reality. For some reason, I feel that you may have not been very liked at home due to this nature. Your parents may think that their reputation or status as parents should not be challenged, but you couldn’t care less about it. What you cared about was that justice and truth be upheld, and you won’t hesitate to rip anyone apart if they tried saying otherwise. This, in turn, has created quite a huge confrontation when you were growing up. But are you stopping there? No. You will continue your role of wake up call, but only once or twice. You’ve understood that there are always people out there who want to run away from the truth, and you’re not gonna waste your effort and time on them.

2. Have I achieved it? - The Chariot rx

You’re currently in a fallback. You took a step back to look at the options available and to reevaluate the situation. You realise that you were having a narrow goal and vision tunnel, which will cost a lot of meaningless sacrifice. You may have thought that it was okay to let your horses run without holding the reins, but now is not the time. You’re now evaluating and weighing the pros and cons, which are the items that you want to invest your time and energy on, finding out where your passion lies. A word of advice: Do not be afraid to try multiple things. Nothing is fixed in stone. Just like you may discover a new favourite dish later, you may also discover a new skill that is useful.

3. How to achieve it? - Page of Cups rx

First of all, you need to kill your doubts and fears. Fear is one main thing that’s stopping you from trying new things in different fields. There are always new things out there waiting for you to try, there are new opportunities that can’t wait to come to you. Being protective of your own energy is important, but you need to get out at times, to talk to people, to learn their ideas and train of thoughts, to see things from their point of view. This way, instead of tearing down the blinds covering their eyes, you’ll be able to verbally convince them to take the blinds down themselves, which is a much gentler way. Be honest and true, even to your fears. Accept them, and they might reward you with something special.

4. Why do I need to do it? - The Fool rx, Knight of Pentacles

I’m seeing some form of heavy responsibility here. You are not tasked to enjoy or to have fun, but to be like a defender, a protector, even a fighter or truth. Unlike The Fool, who goes on new journeys having fun, you are stationed at a place, guarding the gates, making sure those who enter are those who have earned it. This responsibility is not randomly placed on people, but it chooses those who vow to bear witness to the truth. Obligation is a word that’s also relevant here, where you’re also willing to bear this duty. Not sure if you’re doing this because you want the truth to be known or you just wanna spite people by forcing them to look at their wounds. It’s all up to you.

5. What can I learn from it? - Page of Wands

It’s like… A stone egg hatching. You thought that it was a stone, from its rough and hard exterior. But in reality, it’s actually a dragon egg. You learn that miracles happen in various forms, and that one really needs to think of the various possibilities and potentials you hold, even the ones that sound impossible. It’s alright to fail, it’s alright to fall, as long as you continue to climb up and attempt, you’ll be able to see the glory that’s arriving your way. Glory is a huge word but it is what it is. Stop losing focus and get that glory in your hands.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Eight of Pentacles

You can transform into a gem by polishing and honing your skills. If I were to compare and describe, I’d say that you’re a jade as compared to other stones out there. It takes a skilled master to recognize the green under the hard and dusty exterior. Now, you’re that skilled master, and you’re gonna trim and polish the rock to reveal the gentle green in it. It can only be done little by little, and repeating the process until you see that gleam of green. And that’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna polish your skills day by day, night by night. Repetition of the task can sound mundane but that’s needed for you to be able to gain precision. This precision can be used in a lot of places, such as knowing the fine line of breaking the truth harshly or choosing to not say a single thing. Sometimes, people have their pride, and that precision will be able to help you to observe which line to cut, where to stop.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Ten of Swords rx

Through this, I’d say that you’ll be able to let go of the past hurt that you have. There is a lot of anger and pain, especially when you recall how you were treated unfairly. You weren’t in the wrong, but you still get attacked. Now, you’ve learnt how to see things from their side and handle them properly, you’re now able to move on from that anger. It’s difficult, but at least, that chapter of your life is ending. You can close that book, and move on to the second book of your trilogy. Life’s a journey, make the rest of it worthwhile.

Overall energy: The Star, Seven of Cups (Strength hidden behind that keeps wanting to show up)

The Word in this picture is Love. Redirect that love to yourself, allow hope to shine on you, and accept that gleam of hope. Opportunities are coming, but you need to learn how to differentiate them from the illusions or wishful thinkings you’ve made. Fret not, you have the strength, the power to discern them according to your inner code of morale. You have what it takes, so practice courage each day. There’s a new you in the future that’s waiting for you. They seem eager, and prepared to take you onto a new journey, to see the new sceneries that come along with it.

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Thank you for reading!

[steddieas-shegoes]

i wanna be a good boy

for @subeddieweek day two with the prompts cockwarming and first times

rated e | 3,319 words | please check ao3 for tags

Day one:  ao3 | tumblr

⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕

One month.

One month was all it took for Eddie to fall entirely down the Steve rabbit hole.

They talked on the phone every night for a week after the school incident, and most of it wasn’t even dirty.

And then Steve showed up at his door, much to the shock and awe of Eddie himself, and they started hanging out. Like friends.

It was weird, even Wayne thought so, but Eddie was gonna keep this going for as long as he could get away with.

One day– a Friday, Eddie would never forget –Steve showed up at nearly ten at night, much later than usual. He hadn’t mentioned that he’d be by at all, even mentioned that he and Robin might hang out after their shift.

But there he was standing at Eddie’s door.

“Not that you’re not welcome, but uh, what are you doing here?” Eddie asked, standing at the door with his sweatpants on, torn up tank top hanging off of him in maybe the most unattractive way possible.

“Sorry, I can go. I just um, I had kind of a bad day? Just needed to-”

“Oh, you wanted weed? I just restocked, actually, even managed to grab a few edibles this time. Those are pretty rare for our neck of the woods, but I’ll slip you one for free if you promise not to tell anyone I pick favorites,” Eddie winked, backing up to let Steve in.

“No, uh, not weed. Is your uncle home? I didn’t see his truck,” Steve still stood at the door awkwardly, hands in his pockets.

“Nope, working a couple night shifts this week to cover for his buddy. They keep talkin’ about switching him to nights permanently, but hopefully he says no. He’s too old for that shit.”

Suddenly, his back met the wall behind him, shaking the mugs hanging up dangerously. The door slammed closed and Steve’s hands were on him again.

“Uh-”

“Remember how we talked about the things we were into? And you said you’d never gotten to try much?” Steve’s breath was hot against Eddie’s face.

Eddie’s dick was twitching in his pants as he nodded.

“Could we try something?”

“What-” Eddie swallowed. “What did you wanna try?”

“You remember when you said you wanted someone to use your mouth?”

Oh fuckin’ Christ.

He thought back to the conversation they’d had only a week before, high out of their minds, talking about their experiences and what they were into, what they thought they’d be into, what they weren’t into at all. It was enlightening, and Eddie had stripped his cock until he was numb after Steve went home.

He admitted to Steve that there was something special about knowing the person who is using you cares about you, that you’ve trusted this person enough to do whatever they want with you knowing that they would never go past your comfort zone on purpose. It wasn’t necessarily about getting off, or even getting the other person off, it was just about knowing he could make someone feel good, be useful, cherish someone in a physical way.

Steve didn’t have much to say to that, but did admit he’d always wondered if he’d be into cockwarming.

Eddie hadn’t stopped thinking about it since.

“I…do remember that, yes,” Eddie’s breath left him as Steve crowded him further against the wall, his arms resting on either side of Eddie’s head, boxing him in.

“You wanna try that with me?”

Yeah, obviously. Eddie dreamed about this, literally for years. Sucking on Steve’s dick until he couldn’t think of anything except the weight of it on his tongue? Sign him the fuck up.

But a small part of his brain still fought him on it, screaming that this was a bad idea, that nothing good could possibly come from being that vulnerable with someone he was pretty sure he was falling in love with.

“You can say no,” Steve backed away an inch or so, gave him room to breathe, to think, goddammit.

Eddie could say no. He could remember that this wasn’t a relationship, and probably never would be. They were friends, and Eddie’s unfortunate pining was not mutual.

Steve even said he’d had a bad day, probably just needed to let off some steam.

Eddie could help with that.

“No, we can do it. Stoplight system?” Eddie asked. God, he was gonna regret this.

“Yeah. One tap for green, two for yellow, three for red.”

Oh, yeah. He wouldn’t be able to talk with Steve’s dick in his mouth. Right.

“Where should we-” Eddie was nervous. His palms were sweaty, which was gross, and his heart was racing, which was probably close to a medical emergency.

“Where are you most comfortable, Eds?” Steve’s hands grasped his, sweat and all, and Eddie felt himself relax against the wall.

“My room.”

Steve’s lips brushed against his, reassuring in their silent strength. He led him down the short hallway to his bedroom, gently closing the door behind them.

Eddie let himself pretend that this was special, that this was only for them, that Steve never shared himself like this with anyone else. He’d feel the pain of the truth tomorrow, when the sun brought it along as it rose and Eddie woke up alone.

For now, he’d be here with Steve, making him feel good.

“On the bed or on your knees?” Steve asked, pushing his hair away from his face and holding his head steady so he couldn’t look away. Somehow, Steve already knew him well enough to know that facing these things head on was a difficult task. He wouldn’t let him run.

“Knees.”

If he was gonna have this, they should go all out.

Steve grabbed a pillow from Eddie’s bed, the one he always used when they were laying in it getting high together, and placed it on the floor. Eddie watched him unbutton his pants, no hint of shame or nerves.

Eddie felt like he was vibrating out of his skin, but Steve just seemed calm.

“I’m gonna sit here so we can find where it’s comfortable, okay?” Steve asked as he sat on the edge of Eddie’s bed, now naked from the waist down.

Eddie nodded, suddenly feeling shy. When had he ever been shy before?

“You’ve gotta use words, okay?”

“Sorry, yeah. That’s fine.”

“‘S fine.” Steve spread his legs so Eddie could kneel on the pillow between them. “Look at me.”

Fuck.

Eddie had sucked a dick before. On his knees even. But it was nothing like this, no one like Steve.

Steve was staring down at him with something similar to awe, and Eddie couldn’t handle it.

What right did Steve have to look at him like that, from his place above, ready to be worshiped by a person who never learned how to look up at a god for guidance? How could he look down at Eddie on his knees and see anything worthy?

He wouldn’t ask him, but he wondered.

He wondered how he’d crash back to earth after.

His cock was already hard, but there was no sense of urgency in the way Steve’s fingers scratched at his scalp. He wasn’t tugging him closer, wasn’t telling him to do anything.

He just watched and waited.

Eddie scooted in closer, not tearing his eyes from Steve’s, not wanting to lose this feeling yet.

He leaned in, bent over just enough at the waist to brush his lips against the tip of his cock, eyes still locked with Steve.

“You can taste, baby.”

Fuck, again.

The whimper that escaped him was muffled by his lips closing around the tip, tongue pressing against the precum trying to drip down his length.

He’d heard that Steve was confident, saw it firsthand in the school halls. He had no fucking clue that Steve could do this.

His hand in Eddie’s hair tightened, but he still didn’t tug or push him further down on his cock. His eyes closed for a moment as he moaned.

Eddie wanted to drink that sound, find a way to swallow it with his cum, make it a part of him a ls a reminder that he made Steve sound like that. Steve’s eyes blinked open, pupils blown and cheeks flushed a soft pink.

“Your mouth is perfect. So lucky you’re letting me have this,” Steve muttered, sounding damn near delusional.

Eddie knew he was pretty good at this, but he’d barely even gotten Steve in his mouth. He knew Steve had a bit of a dry spell recently, but this was being a little dramatic.

But he let the praise wash over him anyways, settling into the warmth spreading through his chest and stomach at the words.

“Take what you can but don’t suck. Just get used to it.” Steve was breathless as Eddie sunk further down.

He was big, but Eddie was already feeling a little cloudy, and he’d practiced on a lot of bananas back in the day, so he didn’t stop until his nose was nestled against his pubes.

Steve’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, his hand flexing against the bedsheet to keep from flexing in his hair.

Eddie swallowed. Steve groaned.

“Fuck, you’re so warm. Feel so good,” Steve looked down at him and smiled encouragingly. “You good? Need to move?”

Eddie tapped once on Steve’s thigh.

“Good. You’re doing so good. Just relax. I got you, baby,” Steve was barely speaking louder than a whisper, but the words sent vibrations through Eddie’s entire body.

He finally let his eyes close and let the thoughts fly away.

The only thing he could hear was the occasional intake of breath when Eddie swallowed around Steve’s cock. He didn’t do it as often as he probably should, but it was hard to remember to do it until the spit was dripping from his mouth and making a mess.

Steve kept a hand in his hair the entire time, sometimes just a calm reminder that he was there paying attention and sometimes to dig his nails in and remind him where he was. Despite how he felt, he was still on the floor of his bedroom, making sure Steve’s cock stayed hard and warm in his mouth.

He sometimes found the energy to swirl his tongue around the sides, cataloging the whines that left Steve’s lips when he did.

The world didn’t exist beyond the feeling of Steve’s cock on his tongue and the sounds Steve let out. Eddie slowly let his head fall to the side, resting on Steve’s thigh, only managing to keep half of Steve’s length inside when he did.

But Steve just pet his hair, traced his cheeks and lips, whispered that he was doing good.

Eddie drifted far, but Steve knew exactly when to pull him back.

“Hey, Eds,” he said softly. “Let’s give your mouth a rest, okay?”

Steve’s hand gently pulled Eddie’s head away, a quiet popping noise making it obvious when Steve’s cock fell from his lips.

He whined and pushed forward, trying to get it back in his mouth. He didn’t wanna be done. He liked floating here with Steve.

“I know, baby. You did so good. But it’s time to take a break.” Steve’s thumb rubbed against his cheek, pausing at the corner of his mouth before pushing in. Eddie moaned, sucking it further in so he didn’t feel so empty. “If you’re good, I’ll fuck your face and come in your mouth.”

Well, Eddie could be good if that was the reward.

Steve pulled his thumb from his mouth and rested his hand against his cheek.

He watched as Eddie slowly came back to himself, to the world around them, to Steve.

“Hey, Eds,” soft, fond, too much for Eddie.

“Hey, Stevie,” too in love, too infatuated, too obsessed.

“Color?”

“Green.”

“Good.” Steve’s smile was distracting, and Eddie couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. An explosion could happen behind him and he’d still only have eyes for Steve. “Can I get my mouth on you?”

Wait.

What?

Steve wanted…he…what?

“It’s okay to say no, Eddie. It just looks like you could use it,” Steve glanced down at Eddie’s lap. Eddie lifted his head from Steve’s thigh to see what he meant and was actually surprised to see his own cock tenting his pants, a dark wet spot making it very obvious how much he’d been leaking. “I can take care of you. You earned it, Eds.”

See, the thing is, no one had ever sucked Eddie’s dick. Not a single person he’d fooled around with had returned the favor because they were “in a rush” or it “wasn’t the dom’s job.” Eddie wasn’t stupid; He knew those were just excuses for them to get off and run.

But Steve Harrington of all people offering to suck him off. What fucking universe was he living in?

“No, I-” Eddie was gonna just have to admit it. “No one’s ever done that for me. So it may be over quick.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “No one? But you said- you’ve done some of this stuff before.”

“Yeah, yeah. But like, only giving, never receiving? I mean one handjob in a bathroom stall once, but the guy didn’t even spit in his hand first. I like pain, but that was…not the best.” Eddie scrunched up his nose at the reminder of the sensitivity he felt for two days after that. Hopefully the guy learned some basic manners for the next poor guy he got his hand on. “I don’t wanna disappoint you.”

The floating sensation he’d had was mostly gone now, replaced with nerves and an overwhelming need to please Steve.

“You wouldn’t. The only thing that would disappoint me is if I didn’t make you feel good.” Steve turned Eddie’s face back up towards him. “I don’t care if it takes five seconds or five hours. I wanna make you come.”

Eddie should actually say no. This would be the final nail in the coffin, he could tell. If Steve got his mouth on him, no one else would ever live up to it, and since he could never keep Steve permanently, he should say no.

“Okay.”

Steve’s face lights up, his grin contagious as Eddie smiles back at him.

“Get on the bed,” Steve orders, though the smile stops him from sounding demanding. “Make yourself comfy.”

Of all the times Eddie had pictured Steve in his bed, it was not like this. He’d always pictured himself being thrown around, fucked until he was begging to stop from oversensitivity, riding Steve until his legs were shaking too much to keep going. He’d pictured waking up to Steve entering his still stretched hole, after hours of being fucked the night before.

He’d never pictured having Steve’s mouth on him, hadn’t dared to.

Eddie did what Steve asked, keeping himself near the center of the bed so Steve had plenty of room.

Steve leaned over him, covering his entire body, his chest hair brushing against Eddie’s and making goosebumps appear across his skin. It was already too much, even without pressure on his cock.

Lips against his neck, teeth biting into his skin with just enough pressure to leave marks. Hands sliding down his sides and pulling his sweats off his hips. A groan as Steve took in Eddie’s length as it twitched against his stomach.

“You’re perfect.”

The words sunk deep into Eddie’s brain, making a home there for him to find comfort during the times when he forgot that he was good.

Steve’s lips trailed down his chest. He didn’t move slowly, probably could guess that Eddie was too close for teasing or taking his time with him.

“You can come whenever you want, okay? Don’t wait for permission. This is your permission.”

God, this was gonna be so embarrassing. Hopefully, Steve meant what he said.

And if he didn’t, hopefully he at least had the decency to not make fun of him.

Steve nipped at his hip, pressing small kisses across his stomach before licking at his tip.

Eddie’s thighs tensed and his hands gripped the sheets under him.

Just breathe.

Steve���s hands pushed his legs further apart, as far as they would go with his sweats still half on.

Eddie knew he was good at giving head. There were few things he was confident about, but that was one of them. That, and his guitar playing.

But Steve was incredible.

He was born for this.

He knew exactly how to swirl his tongue, exactly how much to suck before taking more.

When he moaned with Eddie halfway down his throat, it was over.

It was a damn shame, too. Eddie wanted to experience hours of this.

But it felt too good and Steve did tell him to come as soon as he needed to.

Steve didn’t even choke when he came down his throat, just moaned again and swallowed it.

Eddie did his best not to buck his hips up, but he was only human, and Steve was still sucking well past the point of his orgasm being over. He was sensitive, okay?

Finally, when Eddie managed to get a hand in Steve’s hair and tug gently, he let Eddie’s softening cock fall from his mouth as he looked up grinning.

“Was that okay?” he had the audacity to ask, as if he hadn’t just sucked the soul out of Eddie’s cock.

“No, it sucked,” Eddie deadpanned, surprisingly breathless still.

“Ha.” Steve moved back up his body, covering him. “But seriously. Was it good?”

“Stevie, I have absolutely nothing to compare it to except fantasies and you outdid those. So yeah. I’d say it was good,” Eddie closed his eyes, smiling to himself as he felt Steve’s weight press on him from above.

Lips brushed against his forehead and then Steve’s weight was gone.

“No, come back,” Eddie opened his eyes and reached his hands out, searching for Steve’s skin.

“I’m just grabbing you a drink, Eds.”

A drink? Eddie didn’t need a drink.

Well, maybe he did. His throat was a little scratchy, and he felt a bit lightheaded.

Steve was back before he could do a full evaluation on his body’s needs, glass of water in hand.

He couldn’t help the ogling, and he wouldn’t deny that’s what he was doing if asked.

Steve was still hard, cock straining against his underwear. Eddie should do something about that.

“Will you fuck my face?” He asked before he even took a sip of the water Steve handed him.

“Maybe if you drink all of that water,” Steve slid into bed next to him, turning on his side as he watched Eddie take a few sips. “Don’t want you to drop.”

“I won’t. I’m good,” Eddie was not too good for begging, especially not when he still felt tingles up and down his spine as Steve kept his eyes on him.

“I know you’re good, but doing too much at once can hurt you so we’re gonna take a minute.”

He knew Steve was right, but he felt better than ever. He was ready.

He still didn’t argue, knew better than to risk Steve saying no altogether.

Steve held the water as Eddie settled further into the sheets, moving the pillow so his head was resting against it, but still sitting up enough to avoid falling asleep.

Or so he thought.

The moment his head hit the pillow, his eyes felt heavy.

Steve’s voice was distant as he asked if he was okay.

“Jus’ restin’ my eyes,” Eddie mumbled.

“Sounds good, baby.”

If Eddie were more awake, he probably would have heard the smirk in Steve’s tone, maybe would’ve realized that Steve was aware he was losing a battle he didn’t even know he was fighting.

He slipped into unconsciousness with Steve’s fingers in his hair and his warmth in his bed.

Day three: ao3 | tumblr

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Pretty One

Pairing(s): Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader

Summary: A quiet day with your girlfriend ends with you having to leave your home when Natasha shows up in search for Yelena.

Word Count: 1,454

Warnings: Violence

Authors Note: This is based off of/inspired by the scene from Black Widow!

You were currently laid on the sofa, snuggled up to your girlfriend. Her head rested on a pillow against the arm of the couch whilst your head was lying on her shoulder, her arms wrapped securely around you.

She had returned from a quick trip to the corner store just a couple hours ago for some basic food items when you got comfy on the cushions, and turned on some random show on the television.

You were quite interested in the show at first, but that was before Yelena began to card her fingers through your hair and caress your back with her calloused, yet extremely gentle hands.

The comforting actions from her had you dozing off. Not into a sound sleep per say, but into a very relaxed and tranquil state, so you were no longer focused on the show that still lightly ran in the background.

Yelena on the other hand was unsuccessful with paying attention to the plot at all when she had what she believed was a real life angel laying right in her arms, toying with the strap of the white tank top she wore.

Your mouth opened into a yawn as Yelena continued to play with your hair, "Tired? I know you didn't really sleep that well last night." she asked.

You shook your head, "No, just really content with you." you mumbled in response.

Yelena never thought she could make anyone feel anything other than pain and suffering after her time in the red room. But then she met you who introduced her to the world of emotions; the main one being love. The kind that everyone hopes and dreams for, but not everyone gets.

She turned to kiss your temple, "I love you, detka (baby), so much." she whispered against your head. "I love you too, Lena." you said the words back to her with just as much meaning.

A few moments of comfortable silence went by before she spoke up again, "What if we just ran away." she suggested.

"Ran away?" you repeated with a giggle and she hummed, lightly chuckling.

"Yeah, you know just go wherever our hearts take us and never look back." she elaborated on her out of the blue idea.

"Where would we go?" you questioned.

Yelena shrugged her shoulders, "Anywhere you want to." You thought for a moment before responding,

"I've always wanted to go to London."

"Then we'll start with London. And then maybe we'll go to Paris because it's the city of love, and well, you are my love." she said, making you giggle once again.

You continued to talk about that for a little bit before returning to the calming quietness of just your slow breathing and the television. This time you both had almost fallen asleep until Yelena froze. If there was anything being a trained ex assassin had given her, it was heightened senses.

She knew that something was not right, and the fact that she had you with her right now made her protective instincts immediately set off sirens in her brain.

"You okay, Lena?" you asked, feeling her body suddenly tense up.

Yelena gently sat up and untangled herself from you, making a frown form on your face.

"Where are you going?" you asked, opening your eyes to see her standing up.

"Dorogaya (darling), I need you to go into the other room and stay there. Do not come out until I come to get you myself." Yelena tells you.

"What?" you sat up in confusion.

"I know this sounds weird but I just need you to trust me, okay?" she spoke as she pulled a gun out from under the couch cushion, making your eyes slightly widen.

"What— what's going on? Is someone here?" you said in a panic, watching as she slipped on her blazer that was laying on a chair.

She contemplated her next words as she didn't want you to scare you, but she also didn't want to lie to you, "That's what I'm going to find out. But first I need to know that you're safe before I go anywhere. So please, just trust me." Yelena spoke softly to calm you.

You hesitantly nodded your head, and she took that as her cue to take your hand and lead you to the other room. She stopped in front of your wardrobe and opened the door, "Stay here, and wait for me to come get you."

She pressed a kiss to your forehead after you sat down. You murmured an 'Okay' before she shut the door and her footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

~~~

Meanwhile, Yelena made sure her gun was loaded before holding it out in front of her, "I know you're out there." her voice echoed through the apartment.

A few seconds passed before another voice responded, "I know you know I'm out here." it spoke, followed by the front door loudly opening and closing.

"Then why are you skulking about like it's a minefield?" you heard your girlfriend say.

"Cause I don't know if I can trust you." the voice that was unknown to you answered.

You could hear Yelena lightly chuckle, "Funny, I was going to say the same thing."

"So, are we gonna talk like grown-ups?" the intruder asked.

Yelena's tone dropped lowly, "Is that what we are?"

You couldn't see it, but Yelena and the owner of the unrecognizable voice were finally face to face, each pointing a gun at the other.

For a few moments you could only hear shoes patting against the floor when your girlfriends voice threatened, "Put it down before I make you."

"You put yours down." the voice shot back, "Watch your step."

Nothing but an eerie silence could be heard by your ears. That was until Yelena and the stranger decided to quit the small talk and handle the situation in a different manner.

It was clear to you that they were now fighting from the loud crashes and shouting that rang through the apartment floor. Objects were smashed, glass was shattering, furniture was breaking. You knew that your girlfriends was significantly more than capable of handling herself, but you were still worried about her.

You weren't exactly sure how long the commotion had gone on for when you finally heard the voice speak again, "Truce." it said. It scared you that Yelena sounded like she was gasping for air.

"You've grown up." the stranger commented.

'Grown up?' you thought. 'Did Yelena know this person? Why are they here? Why were trying to hurt your girlfriend?'

"No shit." Yelena responded coldly. You could hear footsteps coming closer to you when the door opened, revealing your Lena.

Her hair was tousled and she looked as if she had just ran a marathon, but it was her. She was seemingly unharmed, but you just had to make sure.

You cupped her face as she kneeled in front of you, "Lena? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" your eyes concerningly scanned her body.

"I'm alright, printsessa (princess), I promise." she reassured you.

Yelena caught you when you threw yourself into her arms and wrapped yours around her neck to hold her close, not caring about how sweaty she might be.

"Hey dorogaya, I need you to do something for me, okay?" she said as she pulled back.

You hummed, wordlessly telling her to continue, "You know those bags we have packed for emergencies under the bed in our room?" Yelena asked and you nodded, "I need you to go grab them for me, okay?"

You both knew that eventually you would have to get up and leave. With Yelena being a trained ex assassin she had inevitably made some enemies. You just didn't expect that day to come so soon.

So you knowingly complied, standing to your feet with her. When Yelena moved out from in front of you so you could walk away, you saw who you believed to be the intruder standing just a few feet away.

She had fiery red hair that was styled into a braid, and wore an all black outfit. You coward under her rather intimidating gaze, realizing that this stranger who just attacked your girlfriend had just watched your whole encounter.

You felt a hand rest on the small of your back, recognizing it as Yelena's, "Ignore her, detka (baby). She won't hurt you." she said, pressing a kiss to your hair as she gave her sister a warning glance.

Yelena gave you a nod when you looked at her for you to go ahead and leave the room. You quickly walked passed the redhead who looked at her younger sister with her signature smirk.

"She’s a pretty one." Natasha stated.

Yelena rolled her eyes, "Shut up."

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 5

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.5

“Hey, stretch. You here to play doctor?”

“I’d just like to interview you. I’m not going to touch you if that's what you’re concerned about.”

“Why not?”

“...ANYhow, I have a few questions for you.”

“Yes, I'm single.”

“Not those kinds of questions. Can you tell me your full first name?”

“Can you give me yours first?”

“Fiddleford.”

“Stan.”

“Okay, Stan. Where are you from? And don’t you dare say from my dreams.”

“Well yeah, I’d say ‘from your dreams’, not mine. Other than that, probably some gutters or a ditch somewhere.”

“What do you mean?”

“As far as I remember, I’ve been out on the streets, or in prison. I think I had a car at some point? But I dunno what happened with that, it makes my head burn trying to think about it.”

“Do you have any family?”

“No.”

“Do you remember ever having a family?”

“I don’t remember having one, but I feel like I had one before.”

“What do you feel like happened to them?”

“They probably got tired of my BS and told me to take a hike. It’s how it always goes with me.”

“That’s a theory you’ve put together. I’m asking what you feel like happened.”

“Feel like I had a dad who was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me. I feel like I had a mom who was a liar - I probably got it from her. Maybe a sibling or two? But they don’t want me around.”

“And what do you think about Stanford?”

“You mean the guy who drugged me, kidnapped me, and is keeping me prisoner in his evil basement sub-lab in the middle of the woods? I gotta say, he makes an impression.”

“But does he seem familiar to you?”

“I don’t think I could forget someone like him” 

“Is it because of his six fingers?”

“It’s twelve , and no, that's pretty normal compared to all of his other weird crap. It’s because he’s fucking crazy , and convinced I’m some mystery twin of his. But let’s stop talking about him, and talk about you instead. Are you single? You doing anything later?”

“Stay on track, Stan. Let’s take a step back and go back to talking about you. Have you recently gotten into any accidents or sustained major injuries?”

“Define ‘major’.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“Judging by your friend's reaction to the stab wounds when we met, I don’t think your definition of major injury is the same as mine.”

---

"What did you determine, Fiddleford?"

"It wasn't easy to glean things because he would not stop flirting with me - was he always this way?"

"He was a little girl-crazy when we were younger, I didn't know he liked men. But that doesn’t matter right now, what were your findings?"

"He has full cognitive function. And based on your scans he has no signs of brain damage - comparing images of his brain to yours, his genetically identical twin, there isn't any morphological difference. Based on my interview, it sounds like he's never sustained significant head trauma neither.”

"But..?"

"If he really does have amnesia, it wasn't caused by a head injury."

"What else could it be?"

"A few things - perhaps he took a drug or substance that warped his brain chemistry. Or- more likely in my opinion, based on his lifestyle and what little history he tells me, he might have undergone extreme distress that caused a mental breakdown."

"Mental trauma can cause someone to lose their memories?"

"Our memories can be a shield and a sword, Stanford. Even good memories that can comfort you through a difficult time, can also cause pain and frustration when compared to a bad predicament.

He must have gone through something so traumatic that the only way his mind could cope with the stress was to... forget things. This is a phenomenon known as repression . Most of the time, a person would repress the traumatic event itself, but it looks like he’s defied the statistics and forgotten everything else instead.”

“He can’t be… that traumatized, right? This is Stanley we’re talking about.”

“I don’t know what he was like before, but he’s got a mullet, Stanford. There ain’t no way he's in a good place mentally.”

"And how would repressing memories about our family- about me , possibly help him cope with trauma?"

"If I'm going to be frank with you, this is the first time in the years that I've known you that you even mentioned having a twin brother . You've talked about other family members before, such as your older brother Sherman, but never him.

If his mind had to prioritize which memories to keep, why would it keep memories of someone he isn't close to?"

"We are- well, we were close."

"Were is a strong word, Stanford. Survival focuses on the present, not the past.”

“... What can we do to get his memories back?”

“I’m not a therapist. But perhaps if you can get him out of the survival mindset, he’d be open to some introspection.”

“So we must disable his fight-flight-freeze response…”

“Stanford Pines, I will throw that damn tranquilizer gun down the bottomless pit if you don’t put it down. Ya'll really need to stop using the slippery slope of science without consideration for morality like it's a damn seesaw. There are other ways to get him out of fight-flight.”

“Such as?”

“I would suggest you make him feel like he’s in a safe space, but that might not work.”

“Why not? He’s perfectly safe here.”

“But does he know that? From his perspective, you’re a stranger who shot him with a tranq dart and imprisoned in your basement for scientific exploitation. And I’ll remind you, this is all without his consent. He is here against his will.”

“It’s for his own good.”

“According to you, someone he thinks he doesn’t know. This may be your twin, Stanford, but he doesn’t know that. You need to gain his trust; maybe he would have trusted you by default in the past, but that isn’t the case now.”

“I… I’m not sure how to do that, Fiddleford. At one point, we knew everything about each other. And now I barely know him, and he thinks I’m a stranger. I’m still angry at him, and still bitter about what he did before he left home, and I’m disappointed in the conman and convict he turned into… but I’m sad, because he's convinced he’s not my brother.”

“You ain’t exactly the same person you were even when we first met all them years ago. People change. How about you try talking to him?”

“Just talking to him?”

“This may be difficult for you in particular, but you should try talking to him like he’s a person; and not a science experiment, anomaly, or an equation you’re trying to solve… Hey, hey don’t be looking like the last pea at pea-time now. I believe in you, you got this.”

“Thank you, Fiddleford.”

*Ford goes back downstairs to the lab. Fiddleford waits for him to be out of earshot before speaking*

“Bless his heart. This is going to be a disaster.”

To be continued…

[daintylovers]

Moments in Love

Stiles Stilinski x Reader

A/N: based off of a request from @beyond-the-stars-fairy

"Hey, can I request a season one stiles falling in love with the reader!"

ur wish is my command <3

Summary: Glimpses of Stiles falling in love with you, throughout Season One.

1.

If anyone were to ask Stiles who the girl of his dreams was, he would say you in a heartbeat. It felt like you had always been the one for him. An unrealistic fantasy that every teenage boy has. Except at this stage, most of his peers were moving on to more attainable girls. Not Stiles though, never Stiles. You could hit him with your car and he would thank you for it, the lovesick idiot. It didn't help either that you were oh-so-sweet to him. You guys weren't friends, more like acquaintances. But in his dreams, you were more than anything he could imagine.

So, even though Scott had just shown him a nasty "wolf" bite, his attention was stuck on you as you waltzed up the school's front steps. He called out your name in greeting and was pleasantly met with a smile and a wave.

Scott, did you see that. I mean we're practically set up for a slow-burn love affair. I swear to you, one day, she will be my wife.

Stiles, can you focus on something other than her for like five seconds! Jesus man, I show you I got bit by a freaking wolf last night because of you, and you don't bat an eye. But she wiggles her fingers and it's like your brain is fried. Get a grip.

The spaz manages to do as Scott says, until later that day he spots the new girl hanging around his girl. By the way, his best friend is looking at the new girl, he can tell that Scott is just as screwed as he is. Serves him right, it's time for someone else to feel the way he feels all the time.

Stiles learns that her name is Allison and remembers the class they share together. He won't lie, she's pretty, of course she is. But she's nothing compared to you in his eyes. Seeing the pair of you talking and giggling like long-lost friends from across the hall only makes his heart hammer harder. Even Scott comments about how Stiles' heart is seriously racing against his chest. Almost like Scott could actually hear it? Weird, but whatever, just means that Stiles has more than homework to do tonight.

But the newfound discovery about his best friend takes a toll on Stiles's mind, suddenly finds himself obsessed over werewolf lore rather than the smell of your shampoo when you sit next to him in math.

Stiles, are you listening?

Fuck, he was totally ignoring you. He obviously didn't do it on purpose, but what if you thought he was.

Stilessssssss, hellooooooo

Your fingers waving in front of his eyes is what causes him to come back to the land of the conscious.

Yes, sorry, yes, I am totally listening 100%.

Really? Then, what did I say?

You said, Stiles, hello in a way that a snake would if they were real. Like a cartoon snake with really good-smelling hair.

God, was he cursed to be the most awkward boy alive or something.

You aren't wrong, but you aren't fooling me Stilinski. I was very kind-hearted and I know you weren't listening. Guess I'll have to ask someone else.

No! No, don't ask someone else. I'm sorry. I promise I am paying attention now.

Good, because I won't ask again. Are you doing anything this weekend?

Was he dreaming? He had to have been dreaming.

No-no, nope, nothing. Yep, I am totally doing nothing this weekend by myself. Why do you ask?

I was wondering if you wanted to come to a party with me? Lydia has Jackson, and Allison is going with Scott. So I figured we could go together since our friends are coupled up.

And just when he thought his heart might explode, you added, Not as a date or anything. I just don't want to show up alone, you know. Plus, you shouldn't have to show up alone. We can show up alone together!

Yeah, that's great. Totally not soul-crushing to hear. God, you probably thought he was into boys. Which is fine, of course, Stiles was anything but homophobic. Yet, it's a tough spot to be in when the girl of your straight(?) male dreams thinks you swing for the other team.

Yeah, I would love to. Do you need a ride or something?

Which is how he arrived to now, driving with you in his passenger seat. Thank god it wasn't awkward. Sure, the small talk could have been better, but he could tell you were nervous. He just didn't know why. He knew why he was nervous, you were fucking gorgeous. And his best friend was surely going to kill your new friend tonight, but whatever. Live in the moment is what everyone says. And if he could, Stiles would stay in this moment forever. Getting to peek over at you softly singing along to the radio, windows down, the streetlights hitting you just enough to make you look like a dream.

Arriving at the party, you guys immediately got drinks and went to say your hello's. Turns out, you knew a lot more people than he did. But you never let him leave your side, always ready to introduce him to whoever you were talking to.

After you had finished, you suggested beer pong. Stiles opted out on condition of driving you home safely but promised to watch from the sidelines. So you were partnered up with some other guy, and Stiles could feel his envy choking him.

Even though you smiled at him when you would score, Stiles's stomach was sick at the thoughts he was having. You looked good with him, fit in with him. Self-loathing was a bitch.

Yet, when you won, you didn't run to the other guy's arms and hug him. No, it was Stiles who received your affections as if he had helped any. The boy was quick to catch you as you catapulted yourself into his arms. You were saying something to him, but he was focused on the way you fit in his arms.

You pulled away quicker than he hoped but stayed at arm's length. Which is where he could smell the alcohol on your breath, and his illusion was shattered once more. You were only clinging to him because of what was in your system.

With your wide eyes staring at him and the little puffs of air leaving your nose, Stiles had to force himself to look elsewhere. Anywhere else. Cause if he didn't, he was sure to kiss you. And that wouldn't be good for anyone.

This is when he spotted Scott tearing himself away from Allison, and rushing outside. Stiles turned his attention back to you and fought every muscle in his body not to kiss you.

I've got to go, I'll be right back.

Then he left because he knew that if he stayed and explained, someone might die.

What he didn't know, is that you were quick to follow him. The guy was your ride home after all.

As Stiles searched for Scott, he noticed Allison getting into Derek's car. This is when you practically slammed into his back, not realizing he had come to a stop.

Stiles jerked forward a little not prepared for your momentum, and then looked to see who had just body-slammed him.

Where is she going?

Even in your drunken stupor, your protectiveness for your friends was overpowering.

I don't know, but I have to go find Scott. Can you get a ride with someone else?

No.

Then you marched yourself to his car, him following behind like a puppy dog.

I'm coming with you because, after Scott's, you're taking me to Allison's to see if she's okay. No teenager has that nice of a car unless it's Jackson.

Fair enough.

Your persistence gave him hope that one day, he could be someone that you would be protective over. Maybe being friends with you wasn't the worst thing in the world. Because then, at least, you would love him in some capacity.

2.

The next few days after the party had been a bit of a blur for Stiles. Allison had been alright after all, and you had ended up staying at her house for the night. Stiles had received a text from you a few hours after he found Scott, saying thanks for the night- even if I was more than a little drunk and bossy.

From that point on, you guys texted a little here and there each day. It was a little slice of heaven away from the supernatural drama that had brutally invaded his peace of mind.

For example, Scott had convinced himself this morning that he had practically eaten Allison alive last night. Turns out, Allison was safe, but Scott had definitely eaten someone alive, judged by the amount of blood the bus had contained.

Stiles had been ready to discuss the details he had gathered through the day with Scott during lunch. But his plans were stopped when someone who wasn't Scott sat down at the table. In fact, a lot of people who weren't Scott had started sitting down.

It wasn't until you sat down next to him that Stiles decided he wasn't irritated at the intrusion. This was actually a really great intrusion.

Did you hear they found out who the body was? It was this old bus driver. The police think it was an animal attack again. Has your dad said anything?

No, I haven't asked him yet. But, I'll tell you if he says anything worse than an animal attack.

God, could you imagine being the bus driver. The fear he must have felt? I stopped going for walks in the woods because I didn't want to have a bite taken out of me. And now it's happening at school? What's next, the movie store?

It's probably for the best that you stopped going into the woods. Dangerous stuff out there. If you're really that bored, at least bring someone with you.

Are you volunteering, Stilinski?

Then, someone interrupted his tranquility, Hey lovebirds, are you in or are you out?

Stiles felt his whole body turn red looking at you, he could see your cheeks start to flush at the implication.

Fuck off Jackson- what are you even talking about?

Thank god you said something in response because Stiles was sure his voice would have cracked.

Me, Lydia, Allison, and her new little friend are going bowling. Are you and your new little friend coming? Or will I be forced to play with people who suck at bowling?

You turned your head back to Stiles, bowling? He shook his head, he would not fall into the same ploy that Scott had landed himself into.

Nah, Stiles and I are going to just work on homework. Thanks though, think of me when someone else kicks your ass, Jackson.

Jackson gave you a fake laugh before going back to his original conversation. This time, Stiles and you were listening, not wanting to be caught. The bell rang shortly after, and Stiles was eager to get Scott alone. But you had other ideas.

Stiles, wait up!

Stiles waited up, as you caught up to him.

Since our friends are going bowling, do you actually want to hang out? Be alone together type of thing again? We could hang out at your house and I'll bring snacks!

Yep, being friends with you was definitely better than nothing.

Of course, Stiles said yes, which is how he ended up with you falling asleep on his shoulder. You had let him pick the movie, shoving homework aside. Naturally, he had picked Star Wars, after you had said you hadn't seen any of them. The two of you had already been hanging out since 4pm, so when he put on the movie at 9pm, he knew there was a chance that you might get tired.

But there's that saying, that people only sleep, like truly sleep, when they feel safe. Seeing the soft rise and fall of your chest, your body unconsciously seeking out the heat from his body, had Stiles feel at peace for the first time since this shit had all started. His chest warmed at the thought that you trusted him enough to be this vulnerable with him.

So he shut off his laptop and debated on waking you, but he could feel the lack of sleep on his part rapidly catching up to him. A nap wouldn't hurt. He could set an alarm for thirty minutes and then wake you up to go home. It wouldn't be totally weird if he fell asleep next to you, right? His eyes made up his mind, as his eyelids became heavier and heavier the longer he had this internal debate with himself. Just thirty minutes to be selfish and envision a life where this was every day, and then he would be fine.

3.

Thirty minutes turned into a lot longer than thirty minutes, the two of you waking up to being tangled in the arms of the other. Stiles being Stiles, made it awkward by trying to not make it awkward. But you handle it like a champ, much to Stiles's liking.

Oh my god, stop freaking out Stilinski. I sleep with all my friends. this just means your status has risen from schoolmate to friend level three.

Yeah, being your friend is 100% better than nothing. Especially if that first part was true.

After Stiles calmed down, you guys got dressed and went out for breakfast.

Stiles should have known that something this great would only be followed by literal horrors. For starters, everyone's least favorite werewolf, Derek, decided to involve Scott and him in his pity party bullet hole wound. Stiles was sure that he would never forget the vision of holding a bone saw and being prepared to cut a guy's arm off. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw that moment.

You, however, would have the same type of moment a few days later, at the movie store. You had been searching for a new movie for movie night with Stiles. Hanging out with him had become your own personal brand of heroin, soaking up the minutes like a sponge.

It was in the romance aisle, that you heard a familiar voice calling out for help.

The Notebook? Really Jackson, I never thought you were a sentimental type of guy.

Jackson spotted you in the aisle adjacent, coming up to look with you.

Trust me, I'm not. It's for Lydia.

For some reason, this store had every movie but The Notebook. And there was not another soul around. It was after that realization, that goosebumps rose on your arms. Something was wrong.

The lights started to flicker and Jackson held out his arm, to keep you behind him. He felt it too.

But you guys couldn't just stand there, so you swerved and started walking in front of him. Turning the corner, you felt your breath catch in your throat. Someone else had been here, in with you guys. But from the way his body was crumpled like a piece of paper, he wasn't really here with you guys anymore.

You felt Jackson come up behind you and let out a gasp. Turning to face him, you said, We gotta leave. Like now.

Jackson turned around, ready to take the lead, when a monstrous figure emerged out of the very aisle we had just been in.

The size of its body was a quick indicator that this thing was definitely not human. But, way too beefed up to be any animal you knew of. Jackson started taking tiny steps back. Maybe the thing was blind and hadn't spotted you yet.

You guys quickly made your way into a different aisle, with you holding a hand over your mouth to silence your breathing. Jackson made sure that this time you wouldn't sneak around him, his chest and arm locking you in place, with his head turned around to keep a lookout.

The thing completely walks past you guys, and for a second you believe that it really might be blind. But then the shelves start a domino chain and Jackson only has a split second to decide whether he'll save you or himself.

The former jackass, shoves you out of the aisle, as the shelf next to you guys collapses on top of him, crushing his legs.

Your head swerves around, trying to locate the beast, but you come up empty. It wasn't blind, it was playing with you guys. The way a child plays with its food. You stand and bend down ready to try and lift the shelf off Jackson.

Stop, stop, stop, he whispers, Just go. I'll be okay, but you won't. Go.

Shut up, you whisper back, I'm not leaving you.

It's then that a growl erupts through the air. The creature has come back to finish you guys off. Out of fear, you try even harder to lift the shelf as the animal slowly starts to approach you guys.

Fuck, fuck fuck, you chant, the furniture not budging.

With a final tug, you stumble back and fall onto the floor. This is where you die, on a dirty floor while your friend watches, probably also about to die.

But the creature does the strangest thing. It walks over to Jackson, paying you no mind as your instincts take over and you scramble a bit away. It digs its claws into Jackson next and the boy lets out a guttural scream, both out of terror and pain. The beast removes its claws and turns to face you.

Quick as lightning, it's crowding up your space, breathing its hot breath on your face. Its eyes are red as red can be, almost glowing with intensity. Its coarse hair tickles your neck, as it leans down, smelling you like a dog. It looks back at you and you swear your heart stops. It just stares at you and you stop breathing.

Then it stands up straight, breaks into a run/crawl, and bursts through the glass doors.

You're out of it until the ambulance arrives. But even then you can't fully decipher their questions. It isn't until you see Sheriff Stilinski talking to Jackson, that your mind sobers up a bit. The man walks up to you, telling the paramedics to check on Jackson one last time.

Are you alright sweetheart?

With Stiles and your newfound friendship, you've met Sheriff Stilinski more than enough times to have formed a little bond with him. He likes you, thinks you're great for his son, and tells you every chance he gets, despite Stiles' complaining.

You don't even get the chance to answer his question, because his son starts causing a frenzy in the crowd. Of course, Stiles was there. Thank god Stiles was here.

The boy bursts forward, eager to see his dad, but falters when he notices your shriveled form sitting in the back of the ambulance.

Are you alright? Is she alright?

I'm okay Stiles, just a little shaken.

Thank god, he says, then goes to hug you, overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of something harming you.

But he stops himself when he sees you flinch. Your eyes drop to your hands sitting in your lap and guilt consumes you.

Stiles, once they do a final check on her, can you take her home?

Of course Dad. See you at home.

The sheriff shares the sentiment and then walks off, leaving you and the boy alone.

What happened there? he questions softly, afraid to scare you off.

You won't believe me.

When he doesn't respond, you look up at him. His head is tilted, offering you a chance to explain even if it's absurd. It's when he clutches your hand and flips it over to trace your palm, that you tell him. And you tell him everything, even the part about how the attacker was not human.

He lets you finish, and when you do, you look up at him with wide, glossy eyes.

Stiles, I thought I was gonna die. I should have died.

A tear rolls down your cheeks and he tries to hug you again. This time you accept it, and start weeping into his chest. He rubs up and down your back with one hand, the other cupping the back of your head.

It's okay, it's okay. You're fine, just a little shaken like you said. You just need some rest. Let me take you home.

He signals for the EMTs to check you one last time before he gets the okay.

It isn't until you're halfway home that you realize, he didn't say if he believed you or not.

Do you think I'm crazy?

And it's because he loves you, that he avoids the question.

I think you just need some sleep.

You take that as a neon sign saying yes you are completely crazy, and keep your mouth shut the rest of the ride. When you arrive at your house, you thank him for the ride and then quickly leave to go inside.

Stiles thinks nothing of it. Why would you want to stay and chat after something like that? In fact, he's proud of himself for dodging your question, cause he thinks he's spared you from any harm.

He texts you before he goes to bed, and wakes up to nothing from you. No biggie, you're probably still asleep.

4.

Monday rolls around, and you haven't responded to any of his texts. And trust me, he has sent a lot of texts. A concerning amount. He's holding on to hope that you're just waiting to say something to him in school, but you don't show up.

He isn't your boyfriend or anything, so he doesn't show up to your house.

Until Tuesday comes and you still haven't responded and you still aren't at school.

As first period starts, he realizes that everybody but him is not at school. What the fuck? So he takes that as his sign to fake sick and also not be at school.

The excuse worked well enough with the nurse, who waved him off with a note for the day like she was giving them out like candy. Whatever, that worked for him.

He tried calling Scott first, which went to voicemail. He wasn't close enough with Allison so he wouldn't call her. Plus he had a feeling that the two lovebirds were with each other anyway. He didn't have Lydia's number and doubted Jackson would give a shit if Stiles checked in.

That just left you. You who had been avoiding him for days. For someone so intelligent, he couldn't figure out what had happened between you guys. Was this your way of shoving him aside, bored already?

Stiles wasn't a quitter though, so he tried calling, but to no avail.

Fine, be that way. If you won't answer, he'll make a house call. With his nerves on fire, he made it to your house quicker than he should have. Your car was in the driveway and so was another car. Probably your mom's. At least he knew you were home.

He parked and went to knock on your door. Your mom answered a minute later, greeting the boy with a polite smile. He hadn't met your parents yet. You had chosen his place as the hangout spot, so it just hadn't happened.

Hi, I'm Stiles, a friend of your daughters. I was just coming by to check on her. May I come in?

Your mom let him in, telling him that she would go see if you're awake first. They had you on meds for the shock, real hard stuff.

But what your mom didn't know, is that you hadn't been taking them. Just hiding them in your cheek until you could spit them out. You weren't crazy. That thing wasn't a goddamn mountain lion and screw everyone who kept trying to tell you it was. You knew what you saw.

Instead, during the hours you were supposed to be knocked out, you spent researching everything you could about the creature. With only a description, it wasn't easy at first. But after putting some papers together, you began to connect the dots. All of the deaths blamed on animal attacks, Stiles telling you to stay out of the woods, using Scott's regular wolf bite as an example, the other weird shit you had seen since living in beacon hills, everything was adding up.

Your mom knocked on your door and you hid your laptop under the covers, lying down and closing your eyes. She came in after a moment and gently shook you.

Fluttering your eyes open, you made your voice raspy, asking her what?

You have a friend here to visit you, his name is Stiles. Do you want him to come up, or should I tell him a different time might work better?

A flurry of emotions clouded your head. Of course, you wanted to see him. You missed him, even though it had only been a few days. But he wasn't telling you something, you couldn't trust him until you got your evidence that you weren't crazy. If you didn't have proof, he would shut you down like last time.

Can you tell him another time, please? I don't feel too well.

Your mom obliged, leaving you alone again.

Stiles' leg hadn't stopped shaking. He was nervous like how he used to be around you. You were friends now though, he reasoned, he shouldn't be so nervous.

Seeing your mom come down the stairs, he burst out of the chair. At his eager reaction, your mom gave him a pity smile, and he knew.

She's still out of it. A different time would work better, if you want I can give you her number so you guys can text.

He visibly deflated, No, it's okay. I have her number so I'll keep in touch. Thank you.

The ball was in your court, and he had never felt sicker with want.

5.

You woke up from your nap and checked your messages immediately. Just because you weren't responding to Stiles, didn't mean you weren't reading them.

But instead, your phone was barren aside from one text from Scott. That was weird considering you guys weren't super close or anything.

Opening it, you felt your heart drop.

Stiles is in danger. You need to get to the school, the creature is back. Please help him.

All common sense went out the window as you read those first words, Stiles is in danger.

You didn't question how Scott knew about the creature to why he wanted you specifically to save his best friend. Or even why at the school? The only thing in your head that had alarms going off was Stiles being in danger.

You throw a sweater over your shirt and put on some shoes. Attire really was the least of your concerns right now. Thankfully your parents were asleep, so you snuck out the door and drove to the school.

You arrived at the same time another familiar car did.

Jackson, what are you doing here? You said, after getting out of the car.

Allison answered, I got a text from Scott telling me to meet him here. We were all going on a double date again. But he's like an hour late.

This was a setup, and you guys were screwed.

You guys have to get out of here. I got a text from Scott too, saying Stiles was in danger. But it's not real. Jackson, it's that thing.

Allison jumped in before Jackson could, What thing? Also no way are we leaving you here, Let's just investigate together, Jackson and Lydia stay out here, and if we aren't back in 15 minutes, call the police.

How could you explain to the girl that if she went in there a possible werewolf would eat her alive. And that her boyfriend and his best friend have also probably been already eaten alive. You couldn't. But Allison wasn't one to take no for an answer, and you weren't about to leave with them. So you compromised.

Call the police in ten if we aren't out. You told Jackson, and then began walking with Allison up the steps.

The school was dark and cold. We made our way to the pools before our silence was interrupted. Allison's phone went off, and it was Scott who was calling.

She looked to you, as if for permission, and you just nodded your head, eager to see if Scott was actually behind the phone call or if it was something else.

They have their little chat as you stalk away from the girl, walking on the other side of the pool.

Hey! He said to get to the lobby now, and he sounded really worried.

You guys made your way to the lobby and were greeted by Scott playing his own game of 20 questions.

But you stopped listening when you saw Stiles move from behind Scott. He rushed to you, gripping your shoulders.

What are you doing here? She didn't say you were with her?

You shrugged his hands off, He asked us to be here. but gave very different reasoning to both of us.

Stiles was hurt by your action but covered it up with more questions. Who Scott? What do you mean he asked you to be here? What did he say?

Jesus, Stiles slow down. You said, shoving your phone at him. he swiped it immediately and read the message that his best friend definitely did not send.

He didn't send this.

Obviously, you deadpanned.

Listen, you need to leave now. You need to drive to the station and get my dad. Tell him I'm in trouble at the school.

What the fuck? No, you tell him.

And then on second thought, you added, I know you know who sent this text. What the fuck is going on here? Is it connected with the werewolf?

Stiles' eyes almost popped out of his skull at your closing comment. How did you know?

As for you, you finally got your confirmation. You weren't crazy after all. Now why was he hiding it from you?

Wait- why was he always at the wrong place at the right time? No way that was a coincidence.

Was Stiles the fucking werewolf?

You weren't about to out him as a supernatural creature. Because what if you did and then he killed the other in front of you as some sort of bonding ritual before turning you? A week ago you would have begged to be sent to a therapist for having thoughts like this. But now? It was so unlikely as it should have been.

All you said was, I knew it.

He was quick with a reply, You don't know anything. Stop it.

I knew it, you laughed a little. I fucking knew it, I'm not crazy.

You don't know it. You're crazy, bat shit insane, please stop. His commands turned to begging at the end. He really didn't want you to know.

You guys were cut short when Lydia and Jackson burst through the doors. But even they were cut short when a loud thump came from the roof.

Soley out of fear, you moved closer to Stiles, and he wrapped a palm around your wrist.

You watch as Stiles and Scott share a look, then Scott yells, RUN!

Stiles practically yanks you behind him and you barely make it up the stairs before the ceiling collapses. You turn your head to look down and see it.

An odd mix of relief and terror fills you. It isn't Stiles, which is very good. But it is going to kill you this time, which is very bad.

We make it to the cafeteria and Stiles pulls me into a corner while Scott and Jackson bolt the doors. Then everyone starts moving chairs to barricade the door. You go to help, eager to not be eaten, when Stiles, whose hand is still clenching your wrist pulls you back. You turn, sending him a questioning glance, and he jerks his head to the twenty-foot wall of windows.

Stiles tries to get everyone's attention, yet no one listens to him. Irritated and beyond terrified you shout, HEY!

That gets everyone's attention, which allows Stiles to speak.

He informs the group of the windows and Allison cracks, Can someone please tell me what's going on here because I'm really scared. What is happening?

Scott and Stiles share another look. And even though the question was directed at Scott, Stiles answers, Somebody killed the janitor.

What is he talking about Scott? Is this a joke? Allison tries.

Who killed him? You questioned, waiting to see if the boys will give up the werewolf.

Scott panics at all the attention, everyone's eyes waiting on him. I don't know alright. But whoever it is, they are going to kill us too.

Why is he protecting the werewolf, you think? Then another thought hits you, Is Scott the werewolf? Is that why it didn't kill you, why he sent the text saying Stiles was in danger? Had he been planning to kill us all and then second-guessed it? But that couldn't be it because Scott was in here now. Fuck man.

One question still remained, Why were both boys protecting the werewolf identity?

Who is it? You asked, and Stiles knew you weren't talking about the alleged killer. You were smart and he loved it, but now was not the time to be smart.

No one answers, so Allison tries again.

It's then that Scott says, It's Derek. Derek Hale.

I look to Stiles who looks at Scott like he's the stupidest person alive. It's not Derek. Scott's a liar.

Everyone starts questioning and Scott continues, I saw him, alright. Derek killed all those people. Starting with his own sister. It's been Derek the whole time. He's here, and if we don't get out now, he will kill us too.

Call the cops, Jackson demands.

Stiles snaps out of his stupor, No.

If it really was Derek, Stiles would have no problem with his dad and a shooting team hunting him down. It's not Derek. Or maybe it is, but Dereks not fully Derek. You know?

Stiles and Jackson argue as you try and unravel the mystery. It isn't until Lydia gets hung up on that you tune back in.

Why does Derek want to kill us specifically? You question. Just a few days ago, you had no clue about anything. Content to believe it was all animal attacks. So why would he be going after you now?

Allison seconds your question and adds a few more, which prompts Scott to yell in anxiety. The girl sulks away, opting to not ask any more questions for fear of his reaction.

Scotts goes to a corner and Stiles moves to follow him. You stray not too far, eager to hear their conversation.

Don't you want to see if Allison is alright? Scott's kinda a dick, and you probably don't want to hear me scold him. Stiles tries.

She's a big girl, she can handle herself.

Please, he tries again.

No. You say and stand right next to Scott. The aforementioned boy sends you a curious glance.

If looks could kill, Stiles might have had you dead. All he was trying to do was protect you, and you were being a brat about it. You didn't know anything, but if you wanted to know so badly, then you would.

First off, throwing Derek under the bus? Nicely done.

Scott's eyes widen and his best friend outs him as a liar in front of you.

Stiles continues, Secondly, she knows so don't give me that look. I don't know how she knows but she knows alright.

Scott looks to you for confirmation, I know.

Fine, he starts, I didn't know what else to do plus, he's dead so it doesn't really matter. Then he turned his attention solely to you, I just bit her head off didn't I?

You look to Stiles in disbelief, who just sighs in disappointment.

Scott, I'm sure she'll be fine. Just apologize later. You try.

Stiles, who had enough goes, Bigger issues at had people, like how are we not going to die?

A thought strikes you, But if it wanted us dead, we would be dead already. It wants something else. It's like when it didn't kill Jackson or me even though we were very killable.

So what, it wants to eat us at the same time?

Scott jumps in, No- Derek said it wants revenge.

You start, Revenge against what? Why lure me and Allison here? I know I didn't do anything to cause something like this.

Both boys have the same thought at the same time, Allison's family.

Allison's family? What the fuck did they have to do with you?

Jackson breaks our circle, New plan asshats. Stiles calls his useless dad and he comes down here with a bunch of guns.

Stiles is quick to shut that idea down, but Scott prevails, Stiles, you might have to tell him.

No way, I am not watching him get eaten alive. It's bad enough she's here, and he points to you, I won't lose them both.

Jackson shoves Scott to the side and tries to yank Stiles's phone out of his hands. Stiles is quick on the recoil, knocking Jackson's jaw back.

But it was just for show, as Stiles tries to call his dad himself. He gets voicemail and it sinks in that you might be dead in the water.

Banging erupts from the doors, both Scott and Stiles move to be in front of you, taking slow steps back to herd the rest of the group. You reach out to grab Stiles's hand, which rests behind his back, and he grips yours in response.

Our only option is up, Stiles says.

You answer, Up is better than here.

Screws start falling out of place and your heart beats at the tempo of the banging. That was the cue for everyone to hall ass upstairs, and as you guys make it, the creature breaks down the doors. The chairs in the way slow him down and you thank your idiot friends for placing them there.

You run into the nearest classroom, locking the door as if the werewolf couldn't just rip the door off its hinges. Everyone tries to slow their breathing when a figure ghosts by the frosted glass. Out of instinct, Stiles crowds your space, holding you against him. The figure stays for a beta too long before leaving. It knows you're here. What the fuck.

You turn in Stiles's arms to stare up at him, and he just sighs, wishing this nightmare would end already.

You feel the same and leave his warm embrace to search for a way out, Could we unlock this and leave?

Stiles whispers, It's a deadbolt.

The janitor will have it though, you reason.

His body will have it. No way.

I can get it, Scott announces. He comes closer to us, I can find him by scent. By blood.

Scott is a werewolf. But not the werewolf. Does that mean Stiles is one too?

Scott decides for himself, I'm getting those keys.

It's Allison who says what's on everyone's minds, Are you kidding? You can't go out there unarmed.

Scott picks up a ruler and thankfully Allison doesn't slap him upside the head. Looking around, you realize which classroom you're inside.

He won't be unarmed, you say making a move to the cabinet. You start pulling out supplies and Jackson isn't amused.

What are you gonna do? Throw acid on him?

Lydia answers, Yes, that's exactly what he's gonna do. Sort of. There's everything you need to make a self-igniting Molotov cocktail.

Stiles stares, dumbfounded, while you and Lydia work on the concoction. Jackson tries to help, but you don't let him, eager to finish yourself.

In record time, you hand Scott the bottle, sending him off with a thank you. He is risking his life after all, even if he's a werewolf. He smiles in appreciation and Allison steps in, not prepared to see him die.

Scott, just stop. Do you remember when you told me you knew whether I was lying or not, that I had a tell? Well, you have one too and you've been lying this whole time.

You look to Stiles and he can feel the angst bubbling in his chest. You don't say anything and it makes him feel worse.

Scott looks to his best friend, in similar anguish, Lock the door behind me.

Allison pulls him in for a kiss and you look to Stiles yet again. For a split second, he envisions that it's you two in that scenario, that you're kissing him goodbye with all the passion you have. It helps that you stare back at him, but your face is cold.

You turn away, angling yourself out of his space, and go to sit with Allison.

Later on, after you've been saved by Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles catches up to you. He starts to open his mouth but you cut to the chase, Please don't. I don't want to hear any bullshit excuse.

I promise I won't try to dick you around right now, okay? But we have to talk about what happened there.

Do you want to talk about the werewolf who has almost killed me twice? That you knew was lurking around and didn't think to mention to me? Instead, just giving me cryptic messages about being safe and staying out of the woods?

Well- yeah, kinda. He loses his momentum.

I already know Stiles, I don't want to talk about it. Especially if Scotts is one of them. Do you realize that he could have killed us too? Why didn't you tell me? Why lie?

His momentum kicks back up Because I was trying to protect you? Are you kidding? If you knew it would only place you in more danger. You didn't have to know, everything was fine without you knowing. Now it's just more stress, another problem to add to the list.

That's what I am to you? Another problem to add to the list?

No- that's not-

No, whatever Stilinski. Consider me, not your problem anymore. I can take care of myself. And I promise to protect your friend's little reputation. Just stay the hell away from me.

And with that, you walked away, and for once, Stiles didn't try to follow you.

6.

It's Friday night, and Stiles wishes that he had followed you. Argued with you about your safety. At least then he would have had more time with you. The friendship that had been cultivated now turned to ash. He had tried texting the morning after. Nothing. He had tried talking to you in school. Nothing. It was like he didn't exist all over again.

And it was unbearable.

Stiles only had one solution, learned from years of living with his dad. Alcohol could solve any problem, albeit temporarily. And because of Scott's recent return to loser-ville, Stiles figured the boy would also need some liquid courage to get back on his feet.

After more than a few sips, (try half the bottle), he could safely say that he was feeling pretty damn good. As long as he didn't think of you. Which was hard. But doable.

Scott on the other hand had discovered that because of his supernatural abilities, alcohol had no effect. Bummer. But not Stiles' problem.

You also weren't Stiles' problem anymore.

Fuck, no, don't think about her, he told himself.

Dude, don't think about her alright. She's one girl in a fish of a million seas.

Scott just laughed at his drunken friend's antics, but Stiles was on a mission to cure himself and the other boy.

I'm serious alright. Fish are like girls and sometimes in the sea, you want a specific one. And she's everything, the perfect fish. So you go fishing in the fish sea. And you manage to catch her. It's not your fault if she hops out of your hands, you know. You just have to keep fishing and hope she comes back. I really want her back.

Scott punched Stiles in the arm, and the boy yelped like a dog, What the hell man? he whimpered.

You told me to hit you if you talked about her. Said the pain would clear your mind.

Right, yeah, Stiles nodded his head. It's just hard not to think about her. Or talk about her. I really miss her- OW. Being alone is way worse.

Scott agreed, saving his friend from another bruise-earning hit. Stiles definitely was worse without you.

7.

You really hadn't wanted to go dress shopping today. But Lydia had convinced you by saying it was a girl's day and that you had to get out of the house at some point.

She was annoying but she wasn't wrong.

So here you were, looking for dresses for a dance that you definitely wouldn't go to. Turning your head, you felt someone's gaze. Locking eyes with the one person in the entire world you didn't want to see, you cursed aloud.

The lady next to you looked appalled by the profanity and you squeezed by her, eager to get away.

Stiles felt his heart shatter all over again- you couldn't even look at him? Was it really over?

Ducking into a separate section, you found Allison who looked at you skeptically. You told her who you saw and she had the nerve to laugh at you. If you really didn't care about him, you wouldn't have run away.

First of all, Allison, you sneered, I didn't run. I walked politely away. And second of all, I don't care about liars. And he is a liar.

I wonder if he's going to the dance too? Allison questioned.

Probably not, he hates school functions.

Perfect, so you wouldn't mind me setting him up with Lydia as a little revenge right? Your jaw dropped.

Like I said Allison, you recovered yourself, I don't care about liars. Or who they go to this stupid winter formal with.

You did care. Like a stupid idiot, you cared very deeply about who stupid liars went to the goddamn winter formal with.

8.

It was the day of the stupid winter formal and Lydia and Allison had to drag you out of bed. They wouldn't take no for an answer. They also wouldn't take, get the fuck out and I'm going to punch you guys as answers either.

They dressed you up like a doll, despite your protest of having no date.

Don't worry sweetheart, I found you a date, Lydia replied.

You wished she wasn't so well prepared.

They finished and you had to admit, you looked fucking great. A sneaky part of you hoped Stiles would see you.

Shaking that thought off you drove Lydia to the dance, Allison having already been picked up by Jackson.

Arriving at the function, you had just parked when a gigantic blue jeep pulled up right next to you. You've got to be fucking kidding.

Stiles and you climbed out at the same time, yet the boy didn't even realize it was you until you made your way behind the cars.

Fuck, she's beautiful, was his first thought.

Your first thought was, this goddamn idiot can't park for shit.

You look really beautiful. And Lydia you also look pretty.

Lydia scoffed as you said, You can't park for shit.

Thank you, he said not taking a beat.

There he is, Lydia said, pointing to a tall guy in a tux. He had soft brown curls and a sheepish smile. He was cute, you had to admit.

You walked over to your date and introduced yourself, eager to leave Stiles' puppy dog eyes.

Yeah, I know who you are. I'm Issac. Issac Lahey.

Nice to meet you Issac, you said looking back to see if Stiles was watching, he was.

You hugged the boy for show and then suggested heading inside.

Issac was truly nice and you were having a fun time. But still, you couldn't help but search for Stiles in the crowd.

What happened between you guys, Issac asked, spooking you from your longing.

He lied to me about something serious.

Judging from the way that he also won't stop looking over here, I think it's safe to say he regrets it.

He's not looking over here, is he?

Every time you look away, he looks back. It's like you guys are agents or something. The push-pull is insane. My feelings should be hurt, but this is more painful to watch.

I should talk to him, shouldn't I?

Only if he apologizes the second you get over there, Issac laughed out.

I'm sorry, you deserve a lot better, you told him.

Maybe, but if I were you, I would do the same thing. Just make me a promise.

Anything.

When you see me in the halls, say hi. Or if we have a class where we can pick seats, and he isn't there, sit by me. We could be friends, and I really would like to be.

This time you hugged him because you wanted to, Of course, Issac. You really are nice and very cute. I'd love to be your friend, we can exchange numbers in class or something.

Yeah, I'd appreciate that.

With that, you made your way over to Stiles' who had just been abandoned by Lydia.

His eyes bulged as you made your way to stand in front of him. Get up.

He was quick to obey, but nervous to speak.

Wanna dance?

Yes, he breathed out, taking hold of your outstretched hand.

The pair of you walked onto the dance floor, getting into slow dance positioning. His arms were hesitant once you waist, as you encircled yours around his neck. You looked at each other for some time before he broke the silence.

I'm sorry for lying to you. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't even know if you wanted to know. I know you shouldn't have known. Knowing is what caused you to be at the school. God, you were in so much danger for nothing. I'm sorry.

As he spoke, Stiles' hands tightened their grip. Please forgive me. I miss you. I miss you so much. Can we please just be friends again?

Promise not to withhold any more vital secrets?

Pinkie swear, cross my heart, and hope to die.

I missed you too, you admit.

His smile grew wide, Really?

Of course, genius. You're pretty cool to be around.

The two of you dance for the rest of the song until Jackson breaks the moment. Have you guys seen Lydia?

That sends you three into a manhunt for the strawberry blonde. You luck out when you go searching outside, seeing her figure illuminated by the lacrosse field lights. You call out her name and she meets you halfway.

I thought I saw Jackson.

Jackson's looking for you, with Stiles and I. Come inside, it's freezing out here.

No, I swear I saw somebody.

It's then that you notice, that you see someone else too. Lurking beyond the treeline. Goosebumps find your arms once again, and you can't deny that their cause isn't the chill in the air. It's the werewolf. He's here.

Lydia, we have to get inside, now!

The two of you try to run, but the man/werewolf is in front of you in an instant. He grabs Lydia and slices her in the stomach before launching her body into the air. It slams onto the ground as you hear Stiles in the distance begging for you to run. But you can't. That's Lydia he might have killed.

Not carrying a weapon, you use what you have, your fist. It connects with the dude's cheek but he seems unfazed as his claws plung through your dress and into your abdomen.

Pain blossoms through your body, your muscles on fire while they are torn apart.

LET HER GO!

Stiles skids to a stop, just in time to catch your falling body as the werewolf lets go. Blood bubbles up, staining the dress and Stiles' hands as he tries to put pressure on the wound.

You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay, he chants like a prayer, more for himself than you. This was his worst nightmare.

Doesn't look that way to me, the werewolf remarks. Then he crouches down to be level with you two. He listens as both heartbeats skyrocket at his presence, fear radiating off them both. But different kinds of fear, both over the same reason, your life. This should be interesting. He takes his claws out again, and you gasp, moving closer into Stiles' arms. Where's Derek?

I don't know!

The werewolf hears Stiles' heart skip a beat, You're lying.

He moves to grab your throat. claws ready to puncture through your skin. Let's try this again, where is Derek?

Stiles panics, I'm not sure! I have an idea but it's not 100%.

Well, if you want your pretty little girlfriend to live, then you're going to take me to him. The werewolf hears the boy's heart skip a beat again.

Taunting him, he continues, You really like her, don't you. Better hurry up before she bleeds out on the field. Though she would make a pretty corpse, wouldn't she.

Stiles locks eyes with you, worried that if he leaves, you really will die on this field.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. Go. Please.

The boy reluctantly places you on the grass and goes to walk with Peter. It takes everything in him not to run back to you and stay with you. He can't even let himself look back at your crumpled form, because his resolve would shatter, and then you really would die.

You don't make a move to stand until after his body has disappeared into the trees. You manage to stand as Jackson calls out for you. You take a couple of steps before blacking out. This time, Stiles isn't there to catch you.

9.

Stiles instead finds you at the hospital, struggling to breathe on your own,, hooked up to various tubes and machines. As if his heart could take anymore.

It's then that his dad calls out his name. He only has time to face him before the older male slams him into the windows of your hospital room. The glass vibrates at the intensity, but Sherif Stilinski's voice booms louder, Where were you? What happened to these girls?

They were attacked Dad. I didn't do it, I swear. Come on, you know I would never hurt her like this.

And the Sheriff does know because you literally are the girl of his dreams. Always has been. The man calms down, wrapping his arms around his son, Are you alright?

I'm fine. Is she?

Whatever attacked her, cut her pretty deep. Same with Lydia, plus both girls are having an allergic reaction. Maybe venom in the claws but I'm not sure what kind of animal could have venom and wal on land to attack them this way.

Stiles can't tell his dad that it's not venom. Can't tell his dad that their bodies are rejected by the werewolf curse that's now been placed upon them. Can't tell his dad that now you're really fucked. Can't tell his dad that his best friend is missing. Wait?

Has Scott been by?

No, he's MIA as well.

Which means that Stiles is pretty sure he knows where to find the boy. Maybe he can convince Scott to stay a werewolf for your sake. Beg for your life. Anything to spare you from what Scott has been through. Anything for you.

When Peter asked if Stiles wanted the bite, he had a moment to think of how his life would change. He would have the strength to protect you, speed for lacrosse, and be able to tell if people were lying which could help his dad on cases. Yet, he still denied it.

Maybe he should have accepted. Would it be easier if you both were werewolves?

10.

After Peter had been successfully killed, Stiles wasted no time rushing back to the hospital. He wanted to be there for when you first opened your eyes. Hug you and tell you how sorry he was. Tell you how Peter had been killed so you would be safe.

But your body still was fighting, and his hopes were dwindling by the second. There was no cure. If you turned, you turned. But also if you didn't turn, you died.

The thought had him on the verge of tears, which began their descent down his cheeks when you squeezed his hand.

Looking to your eyes he saw them flutter open. He helped take the breathing machine off your face, so you could talk. Yet he jumped ahead, I'm so sorry.

It's okay Stiles, I'm fine, you croaked out, totally not sounding fine.

Do you feel magically healed? he asked through tears. You just gave him a look of confusion, so he continued, Do you feel fine as in you could run 10 laps?

Definitely not, why?

He cut you pretty deep.

I know, I can feel it, you deadpanned. What was he not saying?

You don't get it. You can turn into a werewolf from the bite, or if the claws go deep enough.

Your heart rate monitor spikes and Stiles feels his do the same.

Oh god, am I turning into a werewolf?

Stiles offers what little comfort he can, I'm not sure. But at least you'll have Scott and I to help you through it. You'll be alright.

That settles you slightly but leaves Stiles with a pinched heart. Cause, he is sure that you'll be fine. And doesn't want to tell you that you only have two unsavory options. Death or the supernatural.

All that is he 100% certain of, is that he will do anything to make sure that you live as peacefully and happily as possible. So if that means withholding the truth now and suffering for it later, so be it. Because if he suffers for this later, then it's because you're alive and healthy enough to argue with him.

****

A/N: omfg this took me all day- but it was fun I can't lie. let me know if you want a part two or something like a season two version with the same pairing! love you all and thank you for reading!

[zzoomacroom]

Hey guys, soooo I have never written fanfiction in my life, but this just fell out of my brain for some reason. I don't know what came over me, but here's a little crackfic drabble for ya. Just a thousand words of Matthew being a complete idiot. Enjoy! (Yes, I know this premise has been done to death, but I'm having fun so shhhh)

Edit: now on ao3!

.......

So there Matthew was, just minding his own business, catching up with Merv in the gardens outside the palace, when a goddamned nuclear bomb went off.

"JEEZUS FUCK!" Mervyn bellowed, his cigarette dropping from his open mouth and into the pile of leaves he'd been raking. Matthew squawked and catapulted himself ungracefully to the top of the nearest tree.

Oh, so not a bomb then, thought Matthew as he watched the stunning display of fireworks that had erupted above the palace, gold and crimson embers now drifting lazily towards the ground. Still, what the hell was that all about? He would have to ask the boss--if there was some kind of celebration happening in the Dreaming, he wanted to join the party! Hopefully he'd be off his feathery tits on dream champagne before the day was over.

Matthew launched himself from the tree branch, ears still ringing as he made his way up to the palace. He soared through an open window to the throne room. Hmm, empty. So where was the party? He made his way to the library--Lucienne would know what was up.

"Heya, Loosh," he called as he circled down to the table where Lucienne was occupied with cleaning up a puddle of ink that was spilled all over the yellowed scroll she had been writing on. "What was up with the fireworks?"

"Hmm?" she glanced over to him, preoccupied. "Ah. That sometimes happens when...actually, it's probably better if you don't know. For your own sake," she adds pointedly, peering over her glasses at him.

Uh, wow. Ouch. "What? Aw, come on, don't leave me out of the loop. Ravens aren't invited to the party? Wait, why aren't you at the party?"

Lucienne stared at the raven, confusion and irritation mingling on her face. "What party? Lord Morpheus is in his private chambers, there is no--"

But Matthew was already hopping off the table and flying towards the nearest window. So it was a private, VIP kinda thing, then. He was a little hurt that he wasn't invited, but no matter. He would slip in and infiltrate the event, just in case the boss needed protecting from a disgruntled fae or something. And if he managed to dip his beak into some unattended booze, he felt he was sneaky enough that no one would be the wiser.

"You really don't want to know!" Lucienne called out exasperatedly as he flitted away, not looking up from her work. "Don’t say I didn't warn you!"

Yeah, yeah, he'd been to parties full of snooty elites before. Whatever weird shit they were into couldn't be any worse than what he'd seen during his recent trip to Hell. He circled upwards towards the highest tower and perched on the balcony outside the boss's private chamber. There was definitely something happening in there, judging by the noises coming from inside. It sounded like things were getting crazy--a shout, glass breaking, a thud like a body hitting the ground, a screech that may or may not have been human. Shit, the boss man might be in trouble! Good thing Matthew was here to...well, he wasn't really sure how he could help, but he'd figure something out. And he just really, really wanted to know what was going on! Curiosity may kill the cat, but the raven should be fine, right?

He darted into the darkened room and blinked as his eyes adjusted. Oh. No party, then. The boss was standing in the middle of the room, looking even more like he'd just sucked on a lemon than usual. His robe flicked around him and drooped off one shoulder, like he'd just hastily pulled it on (was that...a tentacle peeking out from under the hem?). And was he sweating? He didn't normally sweat, did he? And hold on--did he have cat ears?? Matthew stared, and just as he noticed the ears they receded down into his disheveled mop of hair and disappeared.

"What is it, Matthew?" the Dreamlord demanded icily.

"Uh...sorry to interrupt whatever...this...is, but I thought maybe you were in trouble. And I was just wondering what was up with the fireworks. Scared the bejeesus outta me and Merv," Matthew explained.

The boss looked confused for a moment before answering. "Ah. My apologies for the disruption," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm even as Matthew failed to get the hint. "The matter has been handled. You need not come to my defense."

At that, a poorly-stifled chuckle sounded from behind a marble pillar. "Sorry," the pillar mumbled sheepishly. The boss shot a withering glare at it and the pillar instantly dissolved into a pile of sand, revealing...

Ohhhh. "Um...hi, Hob," Matthew said with an awkward wave of his wing, wishing very much that he could dissolve into sand right about now. Hell, that may very well be his fate soon enough, based on the way the boss was glaring at him.

"Hey Matt," Hob replied with a bashful smirk. He was mostly naked except for an Elizabethan ruff, white knee-high stockings and a pair of 18th century shoes with little bows on them. And he was wearing the boss's helm. But not on his head (cool, cool, not like Matthew had followed the boss to Hell to get it back or anything). Oh, and he also had cat ears. Wonderful.

"Ya know, I better get going, I think Merv may need some help with--oh, yep, he set the garden on fire." Matthew peered out the window down to where Mervyn was currently shouting at no one and flailing around a steadily growing conflagration. "So I should go deal with that. Just wanted to check in, glad everything's good here. Uhhh nice to see you Hob, Boss. Not that I, uh, saw anything. Okay bye!" Matthew zoomed out the window before either of them could say anything else. God, he really needed a drink now.

.......

Morpheus continued to glare at the spot where Matthew had been perched as Hob came up and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Right. So where were we?" asked Hob, apparently unphased by the whole incident.

"I think we should take this to the Waking if we wish to avoid any further interruptions," Dream replied through gritted teeth.

Hob chuckled and started to massage the knots out of his lover's shoulders. "Yeah, probably. Kids, right?" he sighed.

Morpheus raised an eyebrow at him. "Matthew is not my child."

"Isn't he, though?" Hob replied with a grin, peering over Dream's shoulder to watch Matthew and Mervyn frantically darting around the flaming pile of leaves, making no progress whatsoever in putting out the blaze. Morpheus merely sighed in exasperation.

[anaer]

wip wednesday (july 24 24)

the continued adventures of the time travel fix it fuck it up fic

in which gojo ends up back in time and decides its time for a hostile takeover

sukugo/stsg, rating: dramatic gay messes

“You know, you’re just…so…fucking—!”

Instead of finishing that sentence, Satoru grabbed Geto by the shirt and yanked him in, slamming their lips together. Geto squawked indignantly for half a second before his brain caught up to the fact that Satoru was attempting to shove his tongue into his mouth and he remembered this was something he was always down to go along with.

Satoru pulled back. “Fuck,” he muttered. “I hate how much I missed you. You are honestly the worst person I have ever known.”

He was so dramatic all the time. So what that Geto wanted to murder a scant few billion people? “Didn’t you just say Ryoumen Sukuna killed you?” Not that he believed him, but whether Satoru had lost it or not, how in the world was he, Geto Suguru, worse than the supposed worst curse in all history?

“Yeah, and he wasn’t half as obnoxious as you, actually.”

Satoru sighed, the deep, longsuffering kind of sigh of reminiscing. And then a weird, weird smile crossed his face. Geto was, of course, well versed in the many different kinds of smiles Satoru wore, as someone who was either perpetually smiling or cursed with the worst case of resting bitch face the world had ever seen (except when he was pouting or being pissy, or, on very, very rare occasion – so rare it was barely worth talking about – mad at Geto), but this wasn’t one he could say he’d seen before. It almost looked…dopey, in a lovesick way. Immediately, he felt on edge.

“He was actually…great. Sukuna was just…” He whistled, spreading his arms wide and gesturing in ways that made absolutely no logical sense to anyone not named Gojo Satoru. “He told me I was magnificent, Suguru. I mean, obviously I am – that goes without say – but still. He said it!” Satoru came down from whatever weird high he was definitely on to frown at Geto. “You’ve never told me I’m magnificent.”  

“I don’t think your ego needs it, to be quite honest.”

“Sure, my ego is the problem, Mr. Maniacal Genocidal Cult Leader.”

“I’m not maniacal—”

“Sure you’re not.” Satoru plopped down onto the tatami. Long legs crossed, and he dropped his chin into one hand, still wearing that stupid smile on his face that Geto wanted gone. “Sukuna really got it, though. He recognized exactly how amazing I am, even though I had to humiliate him on live TV first. And then he showed me how much he loved me.”

It seemed Satoru was even more out of his mind than first glance had shown. He was straight up delusional. Not that Geto really knew what being delusional entailed because he personally was not and had never been delusional himself, contrary to what everyone outside of his cult might’ve accused him of. “Did you not say he apparently killed you in whatever delusional acid trip dream you had?”

“It was real, and yes, that’s what I said. He showed me how much he loved me when he killed me.”

“What the fuck are you even saying right now, Satoru.” It wasn’t a question.

Satoru waved him off with the hand not on his face. “Don’t worry, don’t worry. You wouldn’t get it. You’re not on our level. Maybe next year ghost you would get it, since I killed you, which is really the deepest expression of love you can give someone, but current you is still one hundred percent the worst. There’s no way you would understand.”

Geto stared at him, blank faced.

Satoru dropped backwards, plopping down onto the ground with a dramatic groan. “And now I have to wait until June, and do all of that over again. How am I supposed to impress him this time? I can’t just let Japan get destroyed. Not even including the fact that my second favourite sweets café was in Shibuya, I went a whole two months without my premium mikan gummies. Do you know how fucked the grocery stores get when Tokyo has been destroyed by cursed spirits?”

Right. Of course. Geto realised he was in for a less than ideal morning and sat down with his back against the wall. It was probably best just to let Satoru talk himself out and then be about his way. At least he wasn’t trying to punch him anymore. He wished they’d rewind back to the kissing, but Satoru had moved on from that as fast as he moved on from anything.

He was such a pain in the ass.

Satoru hummed dramatically.

Geto continued to stare.

Satoru tilted his head up and arched a pointed eyebrow in his direction.

Geto sighed. “So I’m to understand you let Tokyo get destroyed the first time.” Or whatever. He leaned his head back against the wall, willing sleep to take him again. It wouldn’t as long as Satoru kept talking; he knew this.

“No, I didn’t let it,” Satoru chided. “I got sealed. Which wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t decided to fuck everything up with your Night Parade, by the way, so thanks for that. I figured it’d be fine, but then most of the country was in shambles when I got freed. You’d think the world could survive two weeks without me. Ah, whatever. Not my problem now!” He frowned. “Ugh. Unless it is. Fuck. You know, I was fine with being dead. I was happy with it. This is just bullshit now.”

And then, Satoru propped himself back up on his elbows, staring his way too intense eyes way too intensely into Geto’s. “Hey, Suguru. If you died in the most epic battle of your life, really had a moment with a guy you might be a little in love with,” Geto very nobly did not gag at that, “then woke up, alive, over a year back with none of that having happened and you being alive, too, what would you do?”

Finally. A real fucking conversation. Geto shrugged loosely. “I suppose I’d probably start with—”

“Actually, no, shut up. Why am I asking you? You’re insane. I’m not killing all non-sorcerers.”

Geto’s jaw twitched at the interruption. “Okay, Satoru.” Although…in fairness, yes, that was what he’d been about to suggest. It was still a dick move for Satoru to call him out like that. Then again, Satoru had always been a dick.

“Hey, do you think Sukuna would be impressed if I murdered the higher-ups?”

[synonymroll648]

Do you have anything that is consuming your brain more than normal that you want to info dump or talk about?

Also hi

hi :)

YOOOOOO INFODUMP INVITE LETS GOOOOOOO

okay so i don’t really talk about this au a lot but i think about it a lot- gisela mandating keefe get a bodyguard pre-foxfire-age because she leaves the lost cities to make sure keefe has little to no anti-neverseen influence and wants to take up the role of lodestar. and the bodyguard, of course, being ro.

like hello can you imagine-

keefe being like 9 and genuinely calling ro “aunt ro” because she was like no i’m not your second mom but I’m like emotionally your wine aunt or something. after he’s forced to stop calling her “wine aunt ro”

piggyback rides in ravagog. like he’s been walking for too long and he’s like “aunt ro i want uppies :(” which later turns into “rooooooo will you carry meeeeeee”

keefe accidentally becoming a microbiology nerd because ro showed him a weird amoeba once when he was bored and he wanted to know about more weird colorful blobs and she’s eventually told him everything he knows by the time he’s a teen

him trying to draw his family but it’s just him holding his mom’s hand and ro’s hand and maybe alvar’s there in a neverseen cloak

snowball fights outside his mom’s nightfall facility. after ro’s bandaged his thumb and made a silent note to self to go “hey man are we sure cutting a child is the best way to open a door, gisela”

ro holding him on a kid’s harness or something while he’s fawning over the gorgodons and trying to insist they’re his best friends and they’d never hurt him. ro trying her best to not crush his dreams and blatantly tell him they’d kill him if they could but also trying to keep him safe

literally the stupidest games of truth or dare ever that would destroy ro’s dignity and reputation if her kingdom found out. “no dad i didn’t get stuck in a tree upside down hanging by one leg to make a kid from sparkle town smile that’s a RUMOR”

even stupider bets. of course

ro drawing ogreish runes on him in marker to make him feel like he fits in more. or to make him feel better about himself. like drawing things that mean “brave” or “important”. on days when the childhood depression sure is depressioning (mostly after things his mom does that are Fucked Up but he thinks it’s normal but he feels down about it anyway)

keefe manually learning ogreish through ro. cannot growl for the life of him without losing the sound of the word he was going for and she thinks it’s the funniest thing on the planet. unfortunately for her keefe gets the hang of it after a few years

he wants to be a mercadir so bad dude. starts training earlier than his mom planned because of it. super tough for an elf (esp one as young as him) but when he’s like fifteen or sixteen he has a major whiplash moment where ro’s like yeah i had you doing the regiment for our ogre children that are up to 2yrs old. do you wanna try the elementary track now instead of the pre-elementary track? and then puts him through the most brutal workout known to elvin kind

she gives him all kinds of ogre treats after workouts. slowly teaches him how to make them over time. he reaches a point where he hears her dad is visiting his mom for a status update on a neverseen project he’s collaborating with them on and he makes the weird green tea thing cadence had in book 6 without anyone asking. ro tries and fails not to grin

they go back and forth about making up the stupidest stories possible for different constellations. after his mom teaches him how the neverseen hideout star map works and they’re on similar knowledge levels of astronomy

they do each other’s nails. she got him sharp acrylics before a mission once so he could pretend he had claws too

nobody told her that elves can hold their breath for an absurdly long time if they want to so keefe went swimming once and was like “i’m gonna see how many fish i can find” and she was like sure buddy why not (thinking he’d resurface after a minute or two) and then it’s like ten to fifteen minutes later when he finally comes back up after she’s panicked and used multiple devices to figure out where he either got attacked or hit his head on a rock or got caught in the undertow he shouldn’t be able to reach. and he’s completely oblivious to how badly he’s freaked her out and he’s like “[gasp] i found [bigger gasp] 42 FISH :D [gasp] [coughing fit]” and tries to infodump about how he somehow found a nesting ground in the mouth of a cave system 12ft deep but he’s like waaaayyyy too exhausted and she’s dragging him out and throwing him over his shoulders anyway. he still has the dumbest looking pair of goggles ro could find on btw

anyway swimming is a coping mechanism for him. he can’t outrun anyone when he’s upset and he can’t outfight them either but he wins for What the Fuck Are You Secretly A Fish among all the species he’s met so far. ro doesn’t let him go below the surface though because she’s like um you are too mentally ill to be allowed to go underwater during a depressive episode. feel free to do five laps across a lake though <3

keefe learns how to mimic right before he hits his angsty-strictly-because-puberty phase and arguments with him become the most infuriating experience ever because he’ll quote her in her voice to prove a point. or just make shit up in her voice which is even worse

they rough house a lot. but ro never lets him win easily and is always pulling some anatomy/combat info into her taunting. so when keefe rough houses with other elves they’re like what the fuck why do you know which nerve to press on to make someone’s arm go numb you’re literally 12

somewhere there is definitely a height chart that’s keefe’s height at different ages scrawled into the wall. of course it’s always ro-given nicknames instead of his name after the first mark

everyone calls keefe something along the lines of tiny in ravagog. no it doesn’t matter that he’s tall for his age he’s gonna be a foot shorter than every full grown ogre at best. tiny scrawny boy

i could go on about how they consume me but yeah. fucked up found family <3

[katierosefun]

Hello :))) So, i was today years old when i learned you had a girlfriend (if i’m not mistaken) and somehow it means a lot to me as you’re one of my comfort blog and that i’ve been struggling with my own sexuality for a while. (I hope it does not come off as weird this is really not my intention 😭) So i was wondering if you would mind sharing how you two met as i love hearing about queer love stories coming from real people and not only in fiction (somehow i need to be reminded that yes, it can happen in real life too for me??) If and only if you’re comfortable doing so of course!!!

aww hi anon! first of all, thank you so much for the kind words--i'm so glad to hear that my blog is a source of comfort for you. and also, re: your sexuality--i'm sending you so much love! i know how scary and how overwhelming it can be to still be figuring out your sexuality and navigating your own queerness, so please remember to have some compassion for yourself, and please know that you're not alone.

as for my girlfriend: yes! i do in fact have one, and we've been together for a little over a year and a half now. we'll be going on two years pretty soon, which is all very exciting!

as for how we met: it's all a pretty funny story, because we actually met while we were both in college. and also right during that first covid summer too. we started off as long-distance friends, bonding our love for star wars and writing.

anyways, i totally had a crush on her, although i was trying to play it off most of the time. the fact that we lived in separate cities was another factor too, of course.

fast forward to a few years later, when we've both graduated college. i've just started my first year of law school; she's working at this point. we're still texting and calling each other a bit, and then i tell her, oh yeah, i'm going out on a date with this guy.

and just like something from a kdrama or a movie or something, this ridiculous, lovely woman texts me as i'm boarding the bus for my date. her text? hey, i dreamed about you last night! we were sitting on a park bench together and we were holding hands :)

and of course, at this point, i still have a disastrous crush on her (hence why i spent a lot of time dating all these random guys in my junior and senior year of college, because i was like i gotta just get over this), but anon, that text message was the other shoe dropping on my brain. i decided right then and there that enough is enough, i'm gonna call her tomorrow and tell her i like her, so she can't just say stuff like that anymore because i don't think i can take it anymore.

so we arrange to have a phone call the next day, and we chat, and of course, true to form, i have to have some liquid courage on me (peach soju, btw . . . but turns out, if you're jittery enough, you don't even feel the alcohol, because i still remember every detail). anyways, at some point, we're chatting, and then i blurt out, "i like you."

and she goes, "i like you too."

and i went, "no, i mean i like you more than a friend. as in i like you."

and she goes, "uh, yeah. i like you to do. the feeling's mutual."

and of course, i didn't know what to say to that. like, i swear i was just like "??? what?" because the thing is, i had this whole speech planned out in my head--something like i like you, and you don't like me like that, so i'm sorry that this is awkward, and i can just take care of my own feelings, but i just really needed to say that so that we're both on the same page--

so to say i was pretty stunned would be an understatement! so cue a lot of laughter and flustering, and fast forward to today, with her living with me for the summer (because of course, she'll need to go back to work and i'll have to go back to school once august hits), and we talk about how many pets we're going to have one day (she has this hobby of sending me videos of increasingly exotic animals and going "??? so can we have this as a pet? :)"), and we've talked about what our wedding is going to be like (as well as what our wedding will not be like) . . .

this is just a whole lot of details, but as you might be the first one to ask me about this lovely person on this webbed site, of course i'm going to ramble and gush--but anon, to give you some hope here, queer love is a beautiful thing and it certainly happens.

personally, i would love to go back in time and find my sad high school self and go "hey, hang in there, because you're gonna be lucky enough to finally fall in love with someone who's kind and warm and patient and loving, and she's going to encourage you to be a better person, and she's going to make friends with literally every single stranger on the street (much to your partial exasperation and partial wonder), and she's going to be really bad at staying hydrated, and she's going to take so many photographs of everything, and she's going to make friendship bracelets on your bed, and she's going to almost fight the secretary at a dentist's office for you (while you tug at her sleeve and go come on, i'm fine, let's just go), and she's going to recite and write poetry that you keep both on your walls and also in your head, and her grandma is going to show you the dorkiest photos she has of this silly, lovely, beautiful person who you love."

so: all that to say, anon, i hope that gave you some hope! it's such a long journey for some of us, but i promise that queer love is out there and healthily alive, and yeah, sometimes they're just as good (or even better) than those that you find in fiction :)

[kotos-and-smiles]

Ch.127 Rambling and Gushing

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CH.127 OF KOT!

As always I will be referring to tessenpai's rough tl which you can find here

Hello hello! Yeah, I'm not even pretending that I'm not just gushing about this chapter

Know this is obvious, but I’m so suspicious that Chika wasn’t *just* half asleep at the beginning of the chapter. Like, I don’t know, he was coming out of some kind of dream. And he mentions later on that he dreamt their performance went great, but I don’t know, just seemed a weird reaction. Them squinting against the light is really cute though. But Chika looks on the verge of tears until he snaps out of it and fully wakes up. Like, maybe he had dreamt they performed and thought it was all over and that’s why he grabbed onto Takezou like that? I don’t know, and I’m probably making too big a deal out of it.

Can't believe this is actually the day they're gonna perform at Nationals. Like, we've come this far. Also should of course be mentioned how great Satowa and Hiro look and how obviously Chika and Takezou also thought this. is truly just so ecstatic to have every little experience with the club, and it’s so cute. But Momoya not wanting to lose the charm is so sweet. Like, a huge success with him. Satowa’s immediate, oh you don’t have to keep it though, like girl, please, even he values the handmade thing you gave him, people aren’t burdened by you and I still need people to remind her of that. Even Keishi gets a charm! And Chika’s little reaction after Satowa gives Keishi the charm is so cute. He’s so nervous about it.

The way Chika asks Satowa to sit with him is just, ughhslekdnc. I can’t. And Hiro once again 100% representing all of us, especially with that “Excuse me, Chika-kun!?” cuz like, that is also def how I feel about this in the best way possible. But also our girl Hiro being such a go-getter this chapter, and I love that for her. But also she doesn’t even KNOW what just went down with Chika and Satowa this chapter. Like, if she hand’t exchanged charms with Takezou, she might’ve just dropped dead from the cuteness and also jealousy. But also Natsu being so done with being on the romance bus

Satowa thinking about how it isn’t even that unusual for her and Chika to sit next to each other! And Chika is trying to play it so cool but he’s so nervous it’s the sweetest thing. And they’re both just such disasters. I fucking love so much how Chika tries to casually hold out the charm to Satowa, with his head turned away.

Like he’s just this sweet boy trying to do something for the girl he loves and it just makes me wanna scream. And I’m just never gonna get over this. Not only does he still def have the charm that she gave him (the first charm he’d ever gotten and then wrote her name on without hesitation and she considers it her charm too cuz he did that) and then he went and made a charm for her and only one for her. Like, HE MADE HER A CHARM. And then what is the first thing she does with her charm? SHE WRITES HIS NAME ON HER CHARM TOO. THEY MATCH AND THEY’RE BOTH SO DAMN HAPPY ABOUT IT! Like, they’re simply the most in love people ever. 

But like, the way he, much like her and much as he always has, tries to immediately recover when he thinks she doesn’t want it, and that’s when her ability to express how genuinely happy she is kicks in, and just the way she catches his hand holding the charm, and so she’s holding onto him as he’s holding the charm, and how easily she reaches out for him, and how easily they reach out for each other with how softly he caught her arm earlier. 

And then he reaches out cuz he wants to hug her so bad. And her brain moves onto slightly different topics while his just implodes because she just wrote his name on her charm that he made her and smiled like that about it, and HE BLUSHES SO HARD HE HIDES HIS FACE IN HIS BACKPACK. Like, I’ve been wanting so badly for Chika to blush more often with Satowa, and I know he’s confident and comfortable somewhat in the idea of loving someone and being loved, but like I wanna see my boy blush, and this was like the biggest blush ever. His blushly little ears and the way he hides his whole face, and how she notices and is just so happy and also basically hasn’t stopped blushing herself since she sat down. And like, these two people have already expressed that they love each other through words, and now they just keep doing it through actions and gestures as they always have, and I just can’t believe how precious they are. But I also love that while they have said that they love each other, Chika’s immediate reaction when he reaches out cuz he wants to hug her is just like “oh shit, that was dangerous” and like just cuz she said she loves him doesn’t give him consent to touch her whenever, but also like this is the girl that has literally said she loves him and now he just wants to give her a hug and it’s just so sweet. AFTER MAKING HER A HANDMADE CHARM LIKE SHE DID FOR HIM. Like, I’m never getting over this. I’ve wanted the charms to be brought back but questioned if they even would, and now we’ve got the fluffiest chapter ever of basically just exchanging charms and I’m just gonna scream about it forever. 

Also Satowa reacting out-loud to Chika’s cover of “gonna sleep” with “suddenly?” is so funny. 

Hiro continuing to be a go-getter and persevering through the awkwardness is honestly great to see for her. She deserves some stuff happening with her own romance. Also though her mentioning that imitating Chika and Satowa, ya know, the people who have already confessed their love for each other, might be a bit much was unexpected but welcome. And Takezou being the problem solver, offering to exchange charms, and how he tucks it next to his heart and his soft smile, and how they’ll both be able to draw strength from each other’s charms. Like, Hiro really is making her love into strength. Just love Takezou's little smile so much even though he smiles bigger in a minute. There's just something so private and joyous about it.

And then Sane and Mittsu being the epitome of single life when asking each other if they should exchange charms is so hilarious. This along with Sane trying the soothing pressure points on Mittsu’s hand just really made them a whole vibe this chapter. Like, we have these two, the painfully single, Kota and Yoshinaga who are just either vibing or oblivious, the set of absolutely ridiculous love birds, and Momoya and Takinami who are just so *done*

Honestly don’t even feel the need to mention Ichiei at the end, cuz like, yeah yeah, they’re being all intimidating and scary, but my babies just exchanged charms so I don’t care. Am I also selectively choosing to ignore the very existence of Chika’s dad right now, much less that he’s at nationals? Absolutely. I need the fluff in my life right now, so my god I will take it and be thankful for it. The amount of times my babies blush in this chapter, I just CANNOT. I love it so much.

[fiveredlights]

the oversharement of the author: a completely unnecessary post containing my multitude of thoughts on takes one to know one

everyone has been so kind and wonderful about TOTKO so here’s a very, very, very, long author’s note which is me just rambling about anything and everything as a thank you for all the love 🫶

background

for those aware of the fiveredlights lore you may remember in april i had to pause updates because of some weird arm/wrist pain... so that was carpal tunnel syndrome and idk what i did to invoke it this july/august but it came back with such a vengeance that i did not think i was physically gonna be able to write this. but maxiel would not shut up in my brain so i got my hot water bottles and got to work.

this whole idea began after i saw travis kelce go on stage on the eras tour and i went... max and daniel absolutely possess the right type of insane to do something like this.... you can see the original thought post here

the albums

i thought making the albums would take me like a day. literally right up until i hit publish i was still making changes to Sidelines, and i had convinced myself they were real tangible albums with the amount of times i hit albums instead of the playlist button on spotify.

Second Place

the easier album, finished this is a day. cut songs were killer by phoebe bridgers and loml by taylor swift. i was gonna do a whole thing where i was gonna be like “oh the relationship killed him so much he abandoned the guitar to sing a sad piano ballad” and then i realised moon song is rooted in piano. so uh that was cut.

there also was a whole thing where his ex was personified as fire — “can the killer in me tame the fire in you” (killer) with “our field of dreams engulfed in fire” (loml) parallel that i really enjoyed but unfortunately never made it in. also loml has a lyric “the coward claimed he was a lion” which is fun with max adopting the lion as his symbol….anyways

the titled second place comes from another SMAU i used to write for a different fandom (on twitter so it is long gone, rip), where ironically it was also a singer/famous au and i was clearing out my spotify playlists and found the fake album and was like huh. i like that name. luckily for me it worked for the album storyline as well so good times!

Sidelines

this album changed at least fifty times. for the first three weeks of me writing it was called 3 (THREE) because I’m annoying like that, but the more i looked at it i could not convince myself daniel would call it that. because yes, it is his max album but calling it thirty three is a tad too much (in my opinion anyway). sidelines was always on the album, but i was going through my tik tok maxiel folder and saw a daniel edit to sidelines and was like okay yeah that's a better name.

out of 11 songs, only 5 of the original tracklist made it in. cut songs included:

call your mom by noah kahan

apple pie by lizzy mcalpine

orange juice by alfie jukes & nell mescal

orange juice by noah kahan

ivy by taylor swift

science by niall horan

who we are by hozier

with ivy there’s a lyric “and i’ll drink my husband’s wine” which would’ve been the way max and daniel would’ve been like “we’re married lol” but it was cut because to ME ivy is about sapphics cheating on their husbands with each other and i just can’t rewrite ivy like that. here’s some deleted scenes on that:

jeanie 🤠 @/COTADANIEL · i’m sorry daniel WHO’S WINE ARE YOU DRINKING????? driccrodeos [Video: Daniel on stage singing the lyric, “And drink my husband’s wine,” looking offstage to Max, before turning back to the audience and smirking, continuing to sing.] category five event has hit the maxiel towers noah @/ricciardanielo · this album has actually killed me. like i’m not on this earth anymore. why? ivy: “And I’ll drink my husband’s wine.” peace: “Give you my wild, give you a child.” @ max and daniel do you have something you want to tell us or??? ric33stappen if you attend the next race with a ring on your finger and a baby in your arms i swear to god max and daniel i will fuck you up (politely) #like i respect their privacy or whatever but also what the fuck #you know what i mean like what the fuck

in sidelines almost every single song (except for you could start a cult) has a daniel3.jpg post pertaining to a lyric... i realise maybe i should've had someone in universe point it out because i now realise it's quite difficult to spot. whoops.

daniel’s sidelines: live from red rocks is inspired by phoebe bridgers punisher tour (she flicks through the pages of a storybook), taylor swift era’s tour (the lover house) and noah kahan (we’re all be here forever tour; watched live from fenway park specifically on how to write his concert). the whole concert idea was also written literally 5 hours before posting because i originally had a max and daniel article but i could not write it.

easter eggs

i feel incredibly pleased that so many of you picked up on the easter eggs like i get why taylor swift is so insane about hers because it's just so much fun! (spoilers for the rest of my fics...)

blue sweater (thank you to ataraxiaa on ao3 who commented because I didn't realise i had done it) -> glitter on the floor maxiel's communal blue sweater

matthew (rriicciiaarrddoo) & callan (callonmax33) daniel would make a great TP -> old habits die screaming

jake 3(3)81racers Can Max Verstappen fight? -> glitter the floor chapter 3 & 5 recurring plot line

daniel's july 2 2025 post (Photo 2: Max and Daniel sitting in front of a fireplace, the person taking the photo is behind them. Max has his arm around Daniel’s waist, whilst Daniel has his right arm giving the middle finger to the photographer and head turned to the left with an annoyed expression. Max has his head tucked into Daniel’s neck, laughing into his shoulder.) -> inspired by glitter on the floor's 2024/6/7 monaco dark laneway posts

rriicciiaarrddoo "are george and alex married" -> a future easter egg for the glitter on the floor galex sequel

daniel's august 10 2025 post:

 A vase filled with tulips on a table with a white table cloth. -> glitter on the floor, last daniel3.jpg on 2023 has a vase full of flowers, was meant to signify that they got married

Two kookaburra garden statues, next to a rocking chair on a balcony. -> gary and steve from glitter on the floor

daniel's caption: The rumours are true, I am now in possession of half of Max’s WDC and they will be going on auction next week. -> fool me once

things five forgot to include because i have horrible memory but they canonically happened (this will absolutely be updated when i remember new things)

daniel ricciardo broke his hand whilst karting when younger which is why he gave up racing-> lyric in forever "broke a bone that never healed in my hand"

he gets into singing because grace and joe ricciardo put him in choir as a way for him to get out all his yapping and talking at least once a week so they can get a little peace (but it doesn't work because now he sings around the house)

real life references

sometimes i like to use a little reality so that the universe doesn't feel too far away and here's all the real life things i pulled from:

hair tuck max in f1tv japan interview: 2023 honda thanks day

daniel looking like darth vader in austin rain: 2023 monaco boat race

daniel wearing max's hat: 2017 baku podium

checo fought his way to finish p9: probably any race from the latter first half of the 2024 season

daniel ricciardo international relations expert: 2024 post belgium gp

twitter realises daniel ricciardo is hot actually: 2022 abu dhabi gp (the outfit)

daniel playing max's GP in his concert -> i saw adele pause her concert for the olympics womens 100m final so that's how that got in (also i did so much time zone math in order to make sure it was actually the right timing)

max and daniel escaping in a helicopter -> post 2024 belgium gp

[aeoki]

Candy House - Prologue

Characters: Sora, Natsume & Tsumugi Season: Winter Writer: Akira

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< The first year ES was established. Middle of February – “Chocolat Fest”. >

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< Somewhere in the “Candy House” cyberworld. >

Sora: HaHa~♪ Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hello! Sora is also healthy and doing super today! Is everyone well too?

???: Yes. Hello, Sora-kun.

Sora: Senpai!

HiHi~♪ “This” senpai is fluffy and lovely just like usual~!

???: Is that so? I think I was designed with ill intentions, though.

Mophead: Why am I so fluffy? My name also appears to be locked and I can’t change it for some reason. I’m stuck as “Mophead”.

Frankly, I look just like a monster – the scary and gross kind you’d find in your nightmares. Don’t you think so?

Sora: That’s not true at all! You’re adorable, Senpai! Have some confidence in yourself!

Mophead: Adorable? Well, I suppose that’s fine~ My appearance doesn’t particularly bother me.

Sora: Actually, Master~ is always saying you should pay more attention to your appearance because you’re always unfashionable.

Mophead: Haha. I don’t really care about fashion, but I see. So Natsume-kun forced this appearance on me to make me open my eyes.

In other words, Natsume-kun is trying to show his affection for me in another way!

Sora: That’s right! Master~ loves Senpai!

Mophead: When you put it like that, I think I’m starting to get attached to this monster-like appearance!

That made me happy, so I’ll send Natsume-kun a message! I’ll thank him for opening my eyes and I’ll also tell him that I love him!

And sent!

Natsume: I just got gross spam maIL. Maybe I should report it to the poliCE?

Mophead: Spam mail? That’s not good, Natsume-kun! It might be a good idea to report it to the police, but please discuss it with us first, okay?

We’ll always support you, Natsume-kun!

Natsume: You don’t get sarcaSM…? What’s with this monster, anywAY? Could you stay away from mE?

Mophead: Weren’t you the one who forced this appearance onto me!?

Sora: HuHu~♪ Speak of the devil~! Master~ Happy Valentine’s Day ☆

Natsume: ThanKS. Happy Valentine’s Day, SoRA ♪

…You’re in an oddly good moOD. It’s strange for you to be acting this way, considering what you’re about to dO.

Don’t tell me you’re treating everything like it’s a video game because we’re in a cyberworLD? I’m worriED.

Mophead: It’s not very commendable to get too absorbed in video games or the internet, Sora-kun.

It’s not healthy, either. Let’s live in reality, alright?

Natsume: You’re saying that when you’re the personification of unhealtHY…? Being able to focus for long periods of time when it’s related to digital matters is also one of Sora’s strengtHS. We should look on the bright side of thinGS.

Besides, I don’t think the “anomaly” would’ve been fixed if it wasn’t for Sora’s peculiarity and susceptibility to iT.

Sora: HeHe~♪ Was Sora helpful because Sora is a “weird kid”?

Natsume: YeAH. There’s no need to feel guilty or ashamed for being different, SoRA.

You have a pair of eyes that sees things differently than us ordinary people, and at times, those eyes allow you to see things that shouldn’t exist in this worLD.

But dreams are also a “reality” the brain has acknowledgED. Everything that you see shouldn’t also be treated as “unrealiTY”.

The incident that happened this time was very strange and mysterioUS. People with common sense in this world might say it was “something someone who was half asleep sAW”.

But we believe yOU. We do, so we’ll lend you our strengTH.

To love doesn’t mean to affirm everything, but we love you, after aLL.

As I thought, with my eyes that see, I’d like to see you with a smile on your faCE.

Sora: Okay. Sora wants to always smile too. That’s exactly why…

Mophead: I’ve always had this thought, but Sora-kun has never had any issues understanding your oddly conceptual expressions right away.

Natsume: You’re looking at it the wrong wAY. I’m wording them in a way that’s easiest for Sora to understaND.

You act like an older brother with a wealth of life experiences, but you’re still terrible at using “magIC”.

You should learn a thing or two from Sora and work hard to hone your skilLS.

Sora: Right. Sora will also do his best.

Sora will work hard. At the very least, Sora will…

–Bring this world to an end with a smile.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤNext Chapter →

[touchstoneaf]

Like... I know I've said it already. But I just can't get over it. It's really hit me, I think? That we get to have characters who are queer and they don't die. We get to have characters that are old and queer and don't have AIDS; because we've lost so many but now the next generation of queer elders doesn't have that same struggle. We've had some victories. We get to see them reflected on screen. We get to have characters who are baby gays who don't angst about coming out. For whom figuring out themselves does not include a life sentence or even a death sentence. We have people who are just living in Joy on these shows. They get to enjoy Being Themselves, whatever their gender, and whoever and however they love. No one hates them for it. Anybody who does is very clearly the bad guy or not important. I just...

I know that a lot of younger people are like, "Yeah obviously". The same generation who are so beautifully welcoming about any gender expression whatever. For whom being some flavor of gay is as normalized as being mixed race. But for those of us who are older, we are just like... this is the future we thought we would never see. This is the future the righties were scared of when they said that being queer was going to become (Horror!) too mainstream if they let us be legalized. If they let our lives be legalized. Which obviously is a tenuous thing and we have to keep paying attention to it, but still; in the moment? This is miraculous. This is that thing that we always talked about like, "someday maybe we'll see media where gay people don't die. Maybe someday we'll see media where trans people don't automatically die or have miserable fucking lives. Maybe someday we'll feel represented in media". But it was like a pipe dream. We never thought it actually would happen. And we HAVE that now. Just stop and think about that before we go back to work. Take a moment to just bask in the fact that it Exists.

Everything is a Next Step before we go to work to get the next thing fixed, but at least we are standing higher and higher on the staircase now. Our platform has lifted up to where it's visible... and people are not throwing anything at us as much anymore; and the people who do our dinosaurs who will die out eventually. This is proof of it. I'm just I'm so happy and I don't even know what to do with it. I just don't understand how we got here even though I was a part of it... but the representation is so incredibly awesome. I'm happy for every group that's getting to experience this feeling, whether it's because they're Black or Muslim or a Latinx or Native or any time it happens. I want this good feeling to be here for all of our brothers and sisters and neuters and others, and I want it to be forever. And... it scares me because we Have it RN. It's like, finally we have something that they can take away. And I know in real life they're taking away things all the time. So it's like, don't be too happy with the fiction when we still have to fight for the reality. I know there are people still dying out there. It's a weird dichotomy, and it's kind of a brain schism... but I just really think that it's great that we get to celebrate this even for a few minutes before we go back to work.