#yeah ill come back if i think of more to say I just wanted to answer this because I got really excited when I saw it kfsfjskfjskf
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day 20: lazy sex <3
you're dragging your feet across the floor, hauling your backpack on your shoulders. after your last final before break, your mind is absolutely empty, only looking forward to collapsing in bed. you rustle your keys out of your pocket, unlocking your door and practically falling into your room. what you don't notice, is that art is sitting at your desk, patiently waiting for you to get home, and his face lights up when he sees you, and then gets concerned when you immediately fall into your bed. "are you alright babe?" art asks you, coming to lean against the side of your bed. you groan, turning your head to the side on your pillow so that you can talk to him. "that bad, huh?" art smooths his hand over your head, sliding into bed next to you. you nod, snuggling closer to him. "just relax yeah? let me take care of you.. please?" art knows you'd do the same for him, and he wants to prove that he's good for you, always.
you nod, tucking your head into his neck and letting him strip off your pants, kicking them to the end of the bed. art runs his large hands up and down your legs. you wrap your arms around his back, pulling his (your) sweatshirt up off of his back. art shivers when you trail your nails down his lean back, distracting himself by pulling off your loose t-shirt. you're extra thankful that you didn't wear a bra today, partly because of your long day of exams, and also because you know art hates taking them off. art cups your breasts with his palms, pressing small kisses on the soft skin. arts lips return to your face, "turn around for me, please" he says softly and you oblige.
you turn around on the bed, letting art spoon you a little bit as he strips himself of his pants and briefs. you feel the warm, wet sensation of his dick brushing up against your back and you can't help but arch into the feeling. art smiles, gently lifting your leg up to place over his hip, giving himself easier entry into you. arts hands are wrapped tight around your stomach, fingers rubbing circles and patterns into your flushed skin. "ill go slow.. i promise" art nuzzles into your neck, lifting up his hips to push himself into you. you whine softly at the stretch and art coos at you, whispering apologies. art thrusts into you slowly, slower than he normally would, but he knows you want it soft today, so he adheres to your wishes, as always.
art is hardly even thrusting into you at this point, if someone walked in they would probably think the two of you are just embracing. you love the comforting warmth of art, his chest against your back and his balls pressed flush against you. art makes small humping movements with his hips, hitting deep inside you over and over again, the feeling almost more intense than regular sex. art can tell you're tired, and he wants to make you feel good as soon as possible, so he snakes his hand around your body and rubs small hurried circles around your clit. you moan his name softly, clutching his bicep with your hand.
you cum quickly thanks to arts ministrations, clenching faster and faster around him until the pressure on your clit is too much and you can't hold back any longer. art lets you take what you need from him, happily watching you move your hips on him to elongate your orgasm. once you come to your senses, you tap art on the arm to let him know he can pull out, and you realize he hasn't cum. "w-wait you didn't cum? i feel bad art.. i could give you a blow job or something.." you offer to art, turning back around to face him. art shakes his head, pulling a blanket over you and tucking you in. "no, no it's okay really.. i just wanted you to relax.. to feel better" he says. you smile and feel warmth cover your cheeks, hiding your face in arts neck.
god, he really is the best boyfriend you could ask for <3
#parkerluvsu#parker.talks#art donaldson#challengers x reader#challengers 2024#challengers#art donaldson x reader#challengers smut#art donaldson smut#31 days of smut
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SONIC MOVIE 3 SPOILERS AND RANT BELOW :)
SOBBING. SOBBING. SOBBING. WATCHED IT YESTERDAY AND I WAS CRYING THE WHOLE MOVIE BECAUSE THEY USED IT. THEY USED LIVE AND LEARN. AND NOT JUST ONCE. A MOTIF. THEY GAVE SHADOW A LIVE AND LEARN MOTIF. I AM EXTREMELY INDESCRIBABLY HAPPY. LET'S FUCKING GO
PLUS: EGGMAN'S MOTIF!!! IT WAS HERE!! THEY USED IT!! AND IT WAS ORCHESTRAL. BEAUTIFUL.
SONIC'S ESCAPE FROM THE CITY PLAYED, TOO, BUT NOT AS CONSISTENTLY. BUT ALSO, WHOEVER WROTE IN HAVING SONIC SAY "FOLLOW ME" UH HUH. I SAW YOU. YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE AND I LOVED IT
I WANT THE DONUT LORD SWEATER. THAT NEEDS TO BE MERCH. I DONT CARE HOW MUCH IT IS. IF SOMEONE MAKES IT DM ME I WANT ONE THANK YOU
SPEAKING OF DONUT LORD. I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OUTRIGHT BUT OH MY GOD WAS I CONFLICTED. BECAUSE ON ONE HAND, OH MY GOD. SHADOW JUST BROKE LIKE ALL OF TOM'S RIBS. NO PLEASE NO. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND... OH MY GOD. YES. THIS WILL BE PERFECT FOR SONIC AND SHADOW'S PARALLEL.
AGAIN, SPEAKING OF: PARALLELS, SPECIFICALLY THE TIME HOPS IN SHADOW'S MEMORIES OF MARIA. BRUTAL. CRIED THE WHOLE TIME. THAT RECORD PLAYER ONE REALLY GOT ME. GOD DAMN. PLUS, THE PARALLELS FROM TOM'S HEART TALK THE ENTIRE MOVIE AND ESPECIALLY THE MOON SCENE. CRYING. I KNEW IT THE WHOLE TIME BUT STILL. CRYING.
ALSO, OPEN YOUR HEART. SPEAK WITH YOUR HEART. WE'RE WINNING
DAMN: WHY DID EGGMAN GET TO SAY DAMN BUT NOT SHADOW
AND ALSO, NO FAKER! THERE WAS THE CONVO ABOUT WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME, BUT NO FAKER :(( MAYBE NEXT TIME
I MIGHT BE REMEMBERING WRONG, IT MIGHTVE BEEN FROM THE KNUCKLES SERIES I WATCHED BEFORE, BUT OH MY GOD. THE WACHOWSKI KIDS' BEDS. KNUCKLES AND SONIC IN THEIR CARS ARE CUTE, BUT OH MY GOD TAILS AND HIS AIRPLANE.
OSSIE!! MORE OSSIE!! LOVE OSSIE. THANK YOU
CHAO GARDEN! AGENT STONE BEING A BADASS CONSISTENTLY. I LOVED AGENT STONE THIS WHOLE MOVIE. HE REALLY GOT A LOT OF DEVELOPMENT. LOVE HIM. ALSO A LITTLE SAD SONIC DIDN'T END UP WEARING A SPEED OR DARK CHAO MASK TO LOOK LIKE HIMSELF OR SHADOW, MISSED POTENTIAL :( STILL FUNNY
WALTERS' DEATH WAS UNEXPECTED TO ME NGL, JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SO ABRUPT. LIKE... OKAY. I GUESS. COOL. MAN'S DEAD.
THE MARIA BEING PULLED BY SHADOW ON SKATES. EVERYTHING MARIA. EVEN WITHOUT THE ILLNESS, THAT WAS THE PERFECT MARIA AND SHADOW DUO. YES
TBH, I LIKED THE GERALD AND IVO DUO. IT WAS SILLY. THEY WERE THE COMEDY IN AN OTHERWISE VERY HEAVY MOVIE STILL SOMEWHAT AIMED AT KIDS. SOME THINGS HAD ME LAUGHING BECAUSE IT WAS SO WRONG, LIKE THE SPANKING AND HOW GERALD JUST GOT ZAPPED LIKE A FLY IN AN ELECTRIC SWATTER. ALSO, EASY TO EXPLAIN GERALD'S AGE, HE KEPT LICKING SHADOW'S QUILL, WHICH IS LIKELY WHAT KEPT HIM ALIVE SO LONG. SO YEAH. I DIDNT THINK IT WAS BAD, MAYBE A LITTLE WEIRD, BUT THATS THE ROBOTNIK FAMILY'S THING
SHADOW'S "BOO." ENOUGH SAID
DID SHADOW REALLY HAVE TO SLAM SONIC'S FACE INTO THE GLASS LIKE THAT LMAO
ALSO SHADOW KICKED TAILS!!! THE STREAK CONTINUES
IT IS NOT LOST ON ME THAT SONIC'S POV BEGINS AT HIS B-EARTH-DAY PARTY. FUN REFERENCE TO GENERATIONS
LIVE AND LEARN. STILL HAPPY. JUST WANTED TO SAY IT AGAIN. THE WHOLE DOUBLE SUPER SCENE AND THEIR OWN FIGHT AND THE FIGHT AGAINST THE BOTS. EVERYTHING. PERFECTION. SOBBED. THE SUN RISE AND LOVE STILL EXISTING EVEN AFTER THE SOURCE IS GONE LIKE THE LIGHT. STILL SOBBING
THE WAY THEY HAD ROBOTNIK LEFT ON THE STATION LEAVES ME TO BELIEVE THEY LEFT IT OPEN ENDED ON IF HE LIVED SO THAT JIM CARREY HAD THE OPTION TO COME BACK, AND THATS FINE BY ME :)
PISSED ON THE MOON AND THE BROADCAST?? AND IT WAS A BROADCAST FOR STONE SPECIFICALLY??? WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
SHADOW'S INHIBITORS. YES. HIM FALLING TO EARTH, ALTHOUGH DIFFERENT FROM THE GAME. YES. YES. YES.
1ST POST CREDIT OF METAL SONIC AND THE MISS AMY ROSE. HELL YEAH. IM SO HYPED. METAL LOOKS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND AMY IS SO CUTE. WONDERING HOW THAT'LL LEAD INTO THE NEXT MOVIE THOUGH?? WHO KNOWS
2ND POST CREDIT WITH PARALLELS?? WITH SHADOW LANDING ON EARTH IN A FIELD ALL ALONE FOR A SECOND TIME, THIS TIME MAYBE AMNESIAC AND HAVING TO ADJUST TO EARTH AGAIN?? OH MY GOD?? I WAS SO HAPPY THEY DIDN'T END UP JUST KILLING HIM OFF, ALTHOUGH IT WOULDVE BEEN REALLY GOOD. IF HE HAD DIED THOUGH, HE PROBABLY WOULDVE GOTTEN A LAST WORD IN TO MARIA ANYWAY, BUT STILL GLAD HE'S IN IT TO WIN IT
PLUS SHADOW SPIN OFF SERIES!! AND NEXT MOVIE IN 2027. THANK YOU KEANU FOR MAKING OUR FIRST MOVIE DREAMS COME TRUE, THANK YOU SONIC MOVIE TEAM, THANK YOU ALL CAST
THIS WAS MY TED TALK THANK YOU FOR READING
#i think that was the big stuff#i NEED to go see it again#i got a sonic popcorn bucket :)#and the keychains and the poster#very happy#also are we just gonna ignore that gerald developed a black hole machine that LEVELED A GODDAMN MOUNTAIN#WHY DIDNT HE JUST USE THAT???#A BIGGER SCALE ONE??? INSTEAD OF GOING TO FUCKING SPACE TO SHOOT A LASER AND THEN IMPLODE THE SPACE STATION#LIKE WHAT#i love this movie#so much#thank you sonic movie team#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#knuckles the echidna#miles tails prower#dr eggman#gerald robotnik#maria robotnik#amy rose#metal sonic#sonic fandom#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sonic movie spoilers#tom wachowski#maddie wachowski#even though i didnt talk about her here i love her :D she is so boy mom and chaotic and i love her#agent stone
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My Princess
•🪽🦇💙•
Summary: You are Feyres sister and have always been shy but when everything happens and you and your sisters become Fae, you find yourself falling in love with the mysterious shadow brother
Pairing: Azriel x Feyres sister
Content: Sneaking around, fluff, smut, getting caught
•Masterlist•
I never thought much about how my life would turn out, living in a run down home with my three sisters and father gave me no hope for what could come, I thought I would die young of either illness or starvation, I always tried to help Feyre when I could just to help and get away from Nesta and Elain, they never liked me much, I am I second youngest and they liked to point out every flaw of mine
But then one day everything changed when we were kidnapped and thrown into a cauldron changing out forms, from human to far, Nesta took an immense amount of power, Elain could feel the future and me, well I haven’t shown anyone what I’ve discovered, I can morphe into the shadows, dissapear whenever I want, it came in hand when Nesta would get in one of her fits with who ever dared step up to her
But then one night as I was slipping into the shadows I met the most adorable little tendrils of shadow that seemed were alive, they were all over me swirling around with what I assumed was joy as they led me to Azriel, he was quiet like me and I found comfort in that silence but never had the never to approach him until the shadows brought me right into his room, as I’m in the shadow of his book shelf
Noticing him straighten up and peer around as his shadows spoke to him
“I know you’re here” my heart leapt, I shifted back into my fae solid form and stood before him nervously
“So you are gifted after all” he stood infront of me, shirtless showing his broad shoulders and ripped body
“Ummm yeah, please don’t tell the others”
“And why not?” I shrugged unsure of why I had to explain my reasonings only making him smirk
“You’re not like your sisters, you’re…….different”
“Different bad?”
“No different good, you’re intriguing and mysterious, you don’t put everyone out there”
•
From that day forward we kept our nightly meetings between eachother and it was sooooo easy, sneaking through the shadows right to his room, we started just talking and getting to know eachother but along the way I fell for him, how could I not he’s so beautiful inside and out and one night when all the others were busy getting drunk at a bar I felt my soul meld with his and his mine
That night we accepted the bond and we haven’t been able to stop, it’s been a week and our hunger for eachother hasn’t been quenched and it’s getting harder to hide this relationship
“Do you think we should tell the others?” I ask him as we catch our breathes, my head resting in his shoulder, his hand dragging up and down my back
“If that’s what you want my angel, but I can’t say sneaking around doesn’t make things more hot” he smirks as he grips my hip
“Maybe just a little longer” I giggle as I turn and straddle his legs laying forward on his chest
“Ready for more already?” His voice got deeper sending shivers down my spine
“Are you able to” I love to tease him knowing he has taken me multiple times in one night
“Please woman” he grabs my hips and grinds them up and down his hardening dick, I’ve heard about the girls talking about the comparison between wingspans but there is absolutely no way Rhys or Cassian could be bigger than my man, he nearly splits me apart
“I love you Azriel” I moan as he slowly stretches me out
“Not as much as I love you Angel, fuck you feel so good” at this angle he was just hitting every part just right it was impossible to keep quiet
“Oh god more I want more” I scream when he thrusts up into me faster and faster
“OH AZRIEL YES RIGHT THERE” I scream not even caring right now who here’s
“So good, mother above I’ll never get enough of you” right as I’m about to be in heaven the door bursts open and everyone in the group is standing there wide eyed and mouths hanging
“Ummmm what the hell is going on” Nesta shouts anger written all over her face
Azriel sits up and holds me closer covering my body
“Can we have a moment to get decent” he groans his shadows pushing the others out and slamming the door
“I’m nervous, did you see the way Nesta and Elain were looking at me?” He pulled out and helped put his shirt on me as he pulled on his own sweatpants
“Don’t worry it’ll be fine come on!” He took my hand and led me downstairs to where everyone was sat around in the living room
“Congrats brother!” Cassian congratulated Azriel patting him on the back
“How long has this been going on?” Feyre asks with a little smile as she sat next to Rhys
“Well we’ve been talking for a while at night but then last week our mating bond happened and we accepted immediately” I say holding his hand tighter
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Rhys asked
“Obviously she knows she’s not good enough to be with him I mean look at her” Nesta laughed, I hung my head low before Azriel pulled me in at the waist
“Watch your mouth, don’t think I can’t destroy your life just because you’re the high ladies sister
“She’s not wrong” Elain whispered but we all heard
“That’s enough they had their reasons and it’s their relationship, Nesta and Elain you need to leave her alone I’ve had enough of you two always bashing on her just because you know she’s better than you, I’m happy for you sister” Feyre smiles
“You can go to the family cabin if you wish while still in your mating faze” Rhys adds looking happy for his brother the next instant in standing in the cabin Azriel holding me tight from behind
“You know they’re not right, your as pretty as the stars” he says placing kisses up my neck
“Thank you Az, now how about we get back to what we started”
“Don’t have to ask me twice”
#azriel one shot#azriel x you#azriel imagine#azriel fanfic#azriel x reader#eris acotar#acotar oneshot#acotar fanfiction#rhys acotar#acotar#feyre archeron#feyre acotar#y/n Acheron#cassian x y/n#cassian x fem!reader
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stop the clock 𖦹 matsukawa i. x reader
day 8: the name drop
in collaboration with get ugly by @eggyrocks @warlocksoup
an: if you guys haven't seen my rampant screaming, eggy's new phenomenal fic get ugly is in the stc universe!!! you must go read it and give eggy love otherwise ill eat you
uquiz 𖦹 pinterest
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“You broke my heart, you know that?”
Issei calls out to the expanse of the store as he enters, foot barely past the threshold before he speaks.
“Uh, sorry?”
Suddenly, his blood runs cold. The voice coming from the desk is not the one he’s come to love, but a completely new one. He turns slowly, preparing himself for the embarrassment he will have to endure.
Sitting in her perch was a shorter guy, with a streak of blonde cutting right through his hair. He’s looking at Issei like he knows him, which is confusing because Issei’s sure this is the first time he’s seen him.
Upon seeing his face, the guy from the counter breaks into a huge grin.
“Oh my god, you must be Mattsun.”
Adjusting slightly to appear more relaxed, he gives a tentative smile.
“Uh, yeah. I am.”
The guy leans forward on his elbows, watching him like a TV show.
“How much money have you actually spent on cherries? It’s got to be like ¥4000 at this point.”
This peaks his interest significantly. He hasn’t told anyone but Makki and Suna about the cherries, because he had to explain the new business expense he’d been logging, so it must have been her.
This of course means-
“She talks about me?” He can hardly contain his glee at this news.
“Yeah. It’s not-”
Issei puts a hand up to stop the guy. He doesn’t care to hear what she’s been saying, for better or for worse. Since it’s likely worse, the knowledge that he consumes the tiniest bit of space in her brain is enough for him.
As he does so, the guy splits into a huge grin.
“You’re just like I imagined. Can I please watch you flirt? I need this for science.”
Before he can do anything, the guy behind the counter yells out to the store.
Yells her name. Something in Issei’s head starts to spin.
He wanted to know her name. So badly that he was chastised relentlessly by Makki for spending his whole shift on his phone with Suna. They had scoured every corner of her spotify account, looking for anything to identify her.
Tragically, she’d prepared for him. Her username was just a bunch of numbers, she had no profile name or picture, and all the playlists were simply numbered 1-16.
So yes, knowing her name was like fireworks sparking in his head. But this was not how he wanted to learn it. He likes that she makes him work; he wanted it to be a prize that he’d earned.
At the sound of her name, she appears behind the little isles and looks over at where they are. Issei can’t help but notice she’s in his corner. Where the cherries are.
As she makes eye contact with Issei, her facade cracks. Surprise, embarrassment, realization, embarrassment, collected, all in the span of a few seconds. She comes around to round out their circle, not really looking at Issei.
He thinks it’s weird seeing her from this angle. She’s not different, maybe a little nervous, but not enough to really change her demeanor. Yet, without the safety of her counter she looks more vulnerable.
“Is something wrong, Noya?” She asks the guy behind the counter, seemingly unprepared to handle Issei.
Noya grins cheekily, and gestures to the space between them as if inviting the show to begin. She glowers at him but he seems unaffected. Issei’s impressed; if he was on the receiving end of that glare he’d need some new pants.
Noya beams wider before turning to him again. “Cmon, let’s see it! Lay on the charm man.”
“You’re gross. And stealing from me by still being clocked in,” She bites back before Issei can even start. He just stands back and watches their exchange, like a spectator at the zoo.
Something in him is jealous of Noya and the way he can get her to shed her skin. Regardless, he takes what he can get. Despite his nasty gut feeling, he’s seeing a side of her he’s never gotten access to. What she’s like with her friends, when she’s not putting on her facade. Who his mystery girl really is.
Noya eventually concedes after being threatened short of death and is pushed out of the store. Before he disappears into the dusk, he whispers something to her that makes her eyes roll all the way to the back of her head.
She watches him turn the corner and disappear into the night, and Issei notices the steadying breaths she has to take.
Upon re-entering the store, she looks more collected. As she tucks her hands in her back pockets, she rocks a little on her feet. He looks down and notices the boots she’s sporting, and the tiniest little streak on the toe.
“So.”
His attention is brought back up when she addresses him, still swaying slightly.
“So?”
She shifts her shoulders back reflexively, like she’s ready for a fight. “You know my name now.”
He looks back at her, saying nothing. She doesn’t take the bait.
“What, you aren’t gonna berate me to death? Wax poetic about how beautiful it is and how it suits me and how when you heard it, angels sang?”
He tries to hide a smile. “Do you want me to?”
“No.”
“Then I won’t.”
She narrows her eyes at him. “What happened to you?”
He gives a tiny shrug.
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m still the same old Issei.”
Unconvinced, she glares at him a little longer. He takes it on the chin. When she presses, he stands firm.
Issei thinks she’s sorting things out in her head. He’d give her whatever she needs, even if it makes his knees a little weak, and right now that means a silent dressing down. His hands are sweaty.
“This is unnerving.” She admits after a few moments, then turns on her heel to walk back deeper into the store.
Issei waits a couple moments then follows.
“What is?”
“You.” She reaches her destination, and starts to restock his cherries.
“Haven’t I always annoyed you though?”
“Yeah. But this is different.”
She continues picking up the pots from the box, rotating them around and sliding them into their place. There’s about 20 little jars, only taking up a single shelf.
Issei lingers nearby, leaning on the doors of a fridge. His back radiates enough heat to make some condensation. “How do you mean?”
She stops for a second in contemplation; looking over her shoulder to peer at him again, turning thoughts over in her mind. She opens her mouth to say something, but closes it just as fast.
In her hesitancy, Issei notices a touch of vulnerability in her eyes. It’s hidden deep behind her irises, but he knows her now. With a blink, it’s gone.
Instead, she lets out a deep sigh, a bit of frustration and a drop of disappointment.
“I dunno. Never mind.”
“Hey, cmon.” Issei tries to probe her again, keep her talking, but she grows resolute in her decision. She quickly emits an energy that is impenetrable. He doesn’t have the tools yet to identify a crack.
He stands and waits for an opening, one that she doesn’t give. The condensation from the fridge starts to drip down his neck.
He feels a buzz in his pocket, and sees a text.
suna [9:57 pm]: ur gonna b late. get some salt while ur there, quit harassing women, and hurry up
He can’t help the small grunt of annoyance he lets out, resentment growing at everything around him.
When he looks back up, she’s staring at him in a way he’s never seen. There’s not a lack of emotion, there’s too many to sort. He expects her to glance away, and she does.
The whirr of the fridges is louder than normal.
“I’ll uh… I’ll see you around,” Issei starts, feeling oddly small. He scuffs his shoe, hoping she’ll ask him to stay, or ask him a clarifying question, or anything other than this suffocating silence. When nothing comes, he pushes off the wall and starts down the aisle.
He really does try to leave, but sometimes he can’t help himself. He pauses, and she watches.
“For what it’s worth, I think it’s lame your friend ruined that bit. It was kinda fun having the mystery.”
She takes the peace treaty gratefully, but still doesn’t speak.
“If you want, we can agree to forget it? I’ll earn it fair and square?”
There’s a little chuckle, mostly to herself, before she replies.
“Are you even capable of forgetting that?”
He laughs, somewhat from relief that he had managed to salvage whatever he’d fucked up.
“Nah, probably not. I can try though.”
She dismisses that with a wave of her hand.
“Why bother. I’ll just… put bleach in Noya’s shampoo or something.”
He grins at her, easy and open. She doesn’t return it, but stands up a bit more casually.
The unspoken words between them weigh heavy in the air, but it’s returned to a level that Issei can manage. They’re closer than he’d thought.
He realizes he’s been staring, trying and failing to place her perfume. Issei ducks his head quickly, before turning and walking out more intentionally.
Right before he reaches the door, he turns around one last time. To his surprise, he meets her eyes.
“I- I hope the concert was good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He can’t hear her from across the store, but sees her mouth ‘bye.’
By the time he gets to work, he’s distracted. Anytime a woman tries to flirt with him, all he can think of is the melody behind her eyes, and what was going through her head.
Issei doesn’t make that many tips that night.
She’s hunched over her drawing table, various trashed doodles surrounding her. Her phone is plugged into the wall, just above 14%. It always dies faster when she’s on the phone.
“I don’t see what the big deal is?”
Seven’s voice is breathy over the speaker, she’s out in the cold. She fills in the background of her strip with haphazard crosses.
“So he’s a little dorky guy with a crush. Is he threatening?”
She lets out a half-there chuckle. “No. He likes batman band-aids.”
“So what’s the problem?”
Her pencil tip breaks from the pressure.
“I-”
Instead of sharpening it, she fishes for another.
“I think he actually likes me. Like, not as a bit.”
Over the speaker, some rock radio comes over from Seven’s side. It’s loud enough that she can hear it. It makes her cringe.
“Is that so bad?”
The response takes so long that Seven has to ask if she’s there.
“Yeah. It is.”
She hangs up before she’s faced with the next probing question.
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taglist: closed.
@bakingcuriosity, @nobodybutnnoorr, @ciderscape, @lilchubbyyy, @soulfullystarry,
@interstellarz, @wakashudou , @myromanempiree, @notverymarley, @aozui,
@lllaw,, @cnnmairoll, @cosmiicdust, @reignsaway,
@wyrcan, @garfieldissocool, @soobin1437, @guitarstringed-scars, @adorerinn,
@thiisisntlovely, @miliondollagirl, @snail-squasher, @pocketful-ofdaisies, @cherrypieyourface,
@honeekyuu, @rivaiken,
@ineednanami, @akaashislovee, @kodzu-ken
@yoshit-he-dinosaur, @thyproblem, @cupidsblonde, @little-flower30, @asthmaticcchoeee
@lunasfics, @bakery-anon, @haikyuuluverrr, @chososcamgirl, @seroh
@introvertsince2003, @thechaosoflonging, @kameyyy, @riousluvs, @totallytatum
@animenaces-world, @layskettlecookedchips, @chaotic-neutral-ig, @jadeoru, @anniewings
#haikyuu#hq#haikyuu fanfic#haikyuu smau#hq smau#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu matsukawa#matsukawa x reader#matsukawa issei#matsukawa issei x reader#issei x reader#matsukawa x you#issei x you#matsukawa smau#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#mw.matsukawa issei#stop the clock
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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transfem loop + siffrin... you agree
i does agree.... i does in fact ... write a 7k word essay on the subject..... if you would like to perhaps click that link and read it if you were not already aware...... kisses u on the forehead......... sorry its that long but i had to cover all of my bases you know how it is with textual analysis when you're trying to draw a distinction between "headcanon" and "reading of the text" because those are different things.... to meeeeeeee.......
#a headcanon is when i say shit like loop has feetie pyjamas.#a reading of the text is when i go jesus christ dude im not sure someone that repressed has a particularly great grasp on their ideal Self#lucabytetalks#isat spoilers#back on the homestuck tangent sometimes i think about how ppl picked up on the trans coding of roxy but were so set in their ways that#they thought it mustve been in the past and not a potential future... and then got real mad about a character being like.#complexly transmasc with a nuianced relationship to gender and not Easily Brushed Off Before The Narrative Begins Binary Trans Woman#one of the few times i think ive seen it be That way around? but i think it comes down to that whole. visible transgenderism happening#during the plot vs Invisible transgenderism that shh its okay you dont have to actually think about you can just say for brownie points#BUT MAYHAPS THAT IS MEAN. mayhaps that is mean. but i know what i saw back in the day.#sighs homestuck tangent over anyway uhhh yeah hold on isat fans ill throw you a new bone instead of getting off topic uhhh#isabeau seems like such a pragmatic planner to me i think theyve got contingency plans for whatever family they want to have in future#logical nerd with his transition timeline planned out and it includes a flowchart with an 'IF partner has X then i need Y to have a kid'#shrodingers op isabeau . guy with a gender spreadsheet and punnet squares. i think it being that methodical is funny#it also speaks to his occasional hesitance but thats too dark of a read i think im not going to stake anything serious on that#i have thoughts on isa but they're more obviously aligned with what he literally says with his words in-game. not really much worth#elaborating on besides poking at how his insecurities and appeasement to others might inform his literal decisions#i have maybe a few bullet points in my head for him. not 7k words
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sorry i havent been posting i think im burnt out rn
#ill come back around#this is a cycle i go thru often#it doesnt help that ive kinda#i guess ive just kind of grown bored of utmv?#like ok u know when your hyperfixation kinda moves to the backburner#its not GONE its just kind of going dormant#ive been thinking abt moving to a sideblog for a fresh start#because i know 99% of the people following me are doing so for my utmv art#and i kinda feel bad about. yk. not delivering lmao#and i dont think ill be delivering for a while#like. idk i just feel like i need a break from utmv. refresh my palette and all that#so. yeah i guess this is my way of saying there probably wont be much sans art for a while#sorry#skeledoodles#fallout#fo4#fo4 brainrot#fallout 4#fo4 john hancock#idk what else to tag this#i think my burnout will be less bad when i feel less pressured to draw utmv stuff#my brain needs to get up and stretch ok#i told myself from the beginning of this blog that i would create what i WANT and not whats expected of me#but ive found that it is definitely. very easy to fall into this trap lol#but i will try to create more of what i actually want to draw because thats like healthy n stuff idk
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive
ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is
#snap chats#i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets#on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone#so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll#ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla#i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others#i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr#i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things#evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least#but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs#with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO#again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything#come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent#also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL#god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull#my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny#cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character#i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This#like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her#honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there#just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this
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Dammit heart why are you like this ik she's like the exact damn girl you would've thought up to be as attractive and friend as humanly possible to me but you still don't have to be this whiny about it.
#yknow i was pretty settled on thinking i was aro for a few years there and um now lets just say there are questions#like idk ive been sexually attracted to close friends before and this is different#but on the other hand does it fucking matter because we're not gonna be a thing longterm#and holy shit am i having a hard time coping with that#i figure ill get over it i have before#but on the other hand idk ive been so lonely and she came back into my life and i was naïve enough to think#that we'd live together and be a thing long-term and that things were going to be okay and id found someone i could be with forever#and that meant so much to me as someone who's always feared being alone and being aro and living in such an allonormative society#as well as heteronormative and mononormative(?) and generally not cool with deviations from the nuclear family#and i thought that yknow ill still have trouble finding friends prob but ill have someone i can come home to be with at the end of the day#and then ofc reality happened#fuck man i see why allo people are so fussed about breakups now#oh yeah btw irls if you know who this is about just like idk dont tell her this i want to communicate some of this to her myself#and the other parts frankly i dont want to share because itd feel manipulative#so yeah i love her#oh and if anyone has read this far an encouraging dm is more than welcome
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its not even just seeing her that im worired about . im so dreading going back cuz everyones gonna be like 'so have you seen your pookie yet!!' and im gonna have to sit there and look embarrasing and stupid as fuck saying 'oh we broke up. yeah sorry i know i ranted to you guys all the tiem about how much i liked her and made you all listen to everything we did on some reandom date only for us to break up almost out of nowhere. sorry for letting you down and wasting your time' like fuckkkk . im gonna look so fucking stupid saying all this cuz they all knew how much we liked each other. theyre all gonna look at me in so much fucking pity and i dont want to deal with all that
#in reality theyre not going to care that much. like i know theyll feel bad for me in the moment but theyll all go back to their own issues#the next day#but just having to even say teh words 'we broke up' i hate the thought of it#cuz even if only for a few minutes theyre still all gonna look at me with pity and i hate hate hate to think about it#cuz its just gonna make me sadder#cuz i look dumb as shit now!!!! i look fuckign desperate and i look stupid because they all knew how much i liked her!!!!!!!!!!!#theyre all gonan be like 'ohhhh i feel so bad for her. maybe her gf didnt actually like her that much' WHIHC ISNT EVEN TRUEEEE#you know what i think my main issue i sthat i just want this coming weekend to be over#cuz i was gonna do so much w her and once this weekend is over i dont have to think about all teh things we were gonna do#and at least ill get over w the awkward 'yeah we broke up' with all my friends#and im already planning going out to parties on saturday and im kinda dreading it but i also know ill probably feel better if i do go out#so like im ready to go back to campus because a) ill have my friends again which means b) ill have things to actually distract me#but im also so dreading it because i dont get to do any of those things with her.#like thats why i was even excited about this semseter!!!! cuz id get to spendeven more time with her!!!! but now i cant!!!!!!!#sunny rambles
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i know this will not be seen until the following morning in your timezone but. aaaaaaa florian thoughts. i'm in on the savior complex and have been for a good while (read: i drew him like. under 24 hours after he was revealed and went all in on analyzing my boy), and really? this is a guy who hates the cold equation of having to sell teammates in matches. this is a guy who would not keep his cool if he failed to save someone he meant to. he thinks what he's doing is for the best, he thinks he'll be able to create all these miracles. and then someone dies. because of him. mmmm post arson clarity destroying him. one of the few times he'd be unable to keep the act/his cool because he couldn't be the person he had to. he couldn't save them. he couldn't– and then there's the matter of florian and identity issues! when there's only one clearly first person deduction tagline (the one for deduction 6)? he's lived so much of his conscious life being photographed that i imagine he's sort of gotten used to living like he's always being perceived and like the spotlight will burn him if he plays his cards wrong. in deduction 3, we have that photo of him standing indifferently, before the repetition-induced (?) recontextualization of the fire that stole his parents from a painful nightmare into a motivation to act. heck, in deduction 1, we see a photo of his parents showing him how fire works when controlled, what it could be. and we see the depths of calculation for even simple theories of how flames spread that he'll take into account. that talk about how he "always stays friendly and humble to donors and the children who require treatment"... this is after white sand became an asylum, and he was there when it was simply (?) an orphanage. he's been in the system for too many years, he's been given authority. and what does he do? he burns the place down, rescuing as many as he can. he sees the drugs that can't treat (deduction 6) and uses them for his own measures. with talk of how "in any case, he needs the attention" (deduction 8), i also see that knowing the newspaper's description, and knowing he could save people without having to sacrifice himself... it could be another kind of miracle, could it not? and with descriptions of how he's seen as "the friendliest person to ever exist" (deduction 9), how he refuses to let that smile of his falter, i can't help but see it as a conscious thing. he's hiding the arson when he refuses to talk about his personal life, but there could also be so many things he's hiding. the parts that aren't photogenic. the parts that don't fit the story people tell about him. he's so many things as a character and i love him dearly. in regards to the facade he constantly holds in my personal headcanon (this man is masking so hard i am convinced), i think victor would catch that (source: victor does the same for his own reasons. man is on the run, man knows what's expected of him and what could easily happen if he messes up) and. victor dislikes face to face conversations because of the lies people tell, how they hide so much. and yet both victor and florian hide so much and say so little about themselves. it's just that i imagine florian's forgotten where the presentation of himself ends and his internal thoughts begin. letting them both find a way to connect and see each other as the messy, complicated humans they are as opposed to the images and superlatives on newspapers or the ways they have to act in terms of the work they did. victor having the "who are you really?" moment but he can't/doesn't say since it would be out of pocket for him. but it lingers in his mind. in both their minds, faltering has a very real cost, very present stakes. i am so sorry for the ramble i just have too many things i think of when it comes to this man. he's a normal guy who does normal things trust.
don't apologise for the rambles I love when people talk to me about this stuff !!!! I'm sorry I don't have more to add though (I'll probably end up adding to this later ngl), I fully agree with you and I really enjoyed reading this
I'm really into the whole saviour complex idea with him and the idea of him trying to hide and mask things, he's the kind of person that'd want to hide his flaws to me, he wants people to see him as good, to say the least, to see him as always happy, always brave, and always smiling despite what's happened to him, he's noble
#I love Victor being the one to catch that as well because they like... have a brother type relationship in my mind#I think their dynamic is interesting to think about#yeah ill come back if i think of more to say I just wanted to answer this because I got really excited when I saw it kfsfjskfjskf#I love talking about Florian#I love talking about the idv characters in general tbh !!!!#asks
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Im so fucking tired of allistic people man...
They always present like 2 choices for you and go on for days about how they understand either choice, they won't judge you no matter what you pick and how they'll be fine regardless then act all disappointed and whiney when you make that choice and they didn't get the answer they wanted.
I'm sorry, how was I supposed to know that was the wrong choice™️. If you wanted me to do something why didn't you say it. I don't care about all your little social shit, be honest with me. I didn't choose based on your wants when I don't know what you want. I made the "selfish" choice despite everyone around me saying they supported my decision and totally understood. Then I'm the bad guy. For making a choice. That I was assured over and over again that I wasn't going to be judged for.... I'm so tired of this... I'm so tired of allistic people setting these fucking landmines for me. Like they enjoy my suffering. I always get fucking burned in these situations. I can either just do what I think they want with varying response or I can be honest and unmask and do what I think is best for me then they all collectively sigh and look away like Im the disappointment...
If it's not truly safe, don't fucking tell me I'm safe. If I truely won't be judged, don't judge me. If I can't safely unmask, don't tell me to be myself and make my own choices. Even allistic people who had no fucking skin in this game judged me. I chose the option that was best for me and now I'm the villain. Again. Fuck allistic people man, fuck those wishy-washy judgey ass people.
#clover speaks#clover vents#its ok they said just do whats best for you they said#and my dumbass was just like yeah sure 😚 and now im looked at like a monster for taking a choice they gave me#and encouraged me to take! ill support you no matter what my ass#it makes me feel so fucking unsafe in my chocies like a fucking saw trap#its always multiple choice questions and nothinge ever seems like the right choice#they are always wrong and everyone always despises me abit afterwards#even when i know i didnt do anything wrong i didnt hurt anyone and i made a chocie for me#its all supports and i love yous and its oks up until the tism comes back out and i get the cold shoulder#i get the look aways and the silence#they know they are hurting me and they dont care about the betrayal i feel over being basically lied to#i know its your choice but i felt like- ok then why didnt you say anything BEFORE I MADE THE CHOICE#FUCK ALLISTIC PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THEIR QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS GAMES THAT MAKE ME LOOK HORRIBLE FOR NO REASON#IM SORRY I DIDNT READ YOUR EXPRESSION ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE A MODERATE MENTAL DISABILITY THAT PREVENTS ME FROM RWADING EXPRESSIONS#i just wanna say or do something right and they always judge me no matter what#im never safe around these people because everything is always watched and judged according to their morals and what they would choose#as if their morals are superior to mine because they are fine with throwing themselves at trains over nothing and im kot#fuck allistic people man#im so stupid for believing them and thinking this time ill be safe...#im never safe i will never be safe#im always so scared of looking like a stone faced unfeeling monster who dosent love anyone or anything and they always make me into it#no matter what i do or how much i try to express it#i feel things i love people im not a robot#this hurts so much...#sorry for the total lack of context but you dont need any#i dont want or need any more allistic judgement
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why drive so long? is it cause airfare is so expensive?
My family went to Disney world for a little trip 🥰
And we drove for a few different reasons I guess
#yes mainly cause the airfare is so expensive#and we are already spending so much ya know#also my parents haven’t flown in ages#and I guess I haven’t either?#haven’t flown since like senior year of high school I think?? so 2016 🤦🏽♀️#so my parents are super anxious to fly#they’ve heard awful stories about people having to sleep at the airport or lost luggage or whatever#we did this same trip last year and after we got back we kept saying ‘next time we are going to fly’#and then when it came around again they were talking driving again and I’m like ?????? but why lol#at least we got a renter car so there is a lot more room#it just takes so damn long#also going back to the money thing - I heard that they charge you for all the random shit too.#like if you want to sit next to your party or who you’re coming with?#yeah that’s extra#everything is just so damn expensive#you don’t even wanna know how much I fucking spent on food alone at Disney#I was sitting alright on money#now I am not#and it was all on FOOD#I didn’t buy really anything fun or for me#cause I was spending so much money on food already#like I’m talking in the hundredS#can’t imagine how expensive it is for a whole family omg#ive been super sleepy so far so maybe ill end up sleeping the entire way back lol#ask#anon#<< meant to post this before I fell asleep ooopsies
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my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni
#in school i just did the bare minimum a pass was fine and a 3 great#it's insane to think about it how little i did like for a lot of subjects not at all and if i did i'd study like 2 hrs the day before 😭#and i thought this was studying hard or if i studied 3 hrs at least whaaat#well for some subjects i did a bit more#but like it is no comparrison#at uni i also did study the day before a few times but then i did an 8hr session#(i might just need to do that tmrw but the thing is the exam is one you can't study for so literary idk what i'd study so long for??)#(or how to study... it's translation but how tf do you study translation it's highly subjective and there are no practice exercises)#(i will probably just look at the notes)#but anyway for my last exam i spent 5 hrs in the library a day and i already started 2 weeks before (altough just in smaller bits)#but bumped it up exam week i did like 2-3hrs on average a day#even if i start too late like i did for one of the hardest test of my studies i only studied for 2 days but like all day or 10hrs sth a day#it by far exceeds the 2hrs lmao and even that was very little for this exam many studied 2 weeks but like i got a good grade so it's okay#but my point is now that i get better grades good one's a C is a massive disappointment for me 😅#unless it was a really difficult one then i'd take it but like it upsets me#a teacher once told me when i got a c on an exam quite a few failed that many would be happy to have that grade well true tbh but i can't#and once i almost cried because i got a C because i thought it was an easy course but it was an oral exam and i'm worse in these#(because in written i often remember the answer later in the exam and then go back but in oral i can't do that)#well that was embarrassing😭 i'm trying to never do that again so if i get asked how i feel abt it say it's okay ig#but sometimes even a B is meh 😅 especially if an A was possible and it was an easy course/exam#i want more A's less B's tbh B's also because i really want to go abroad and raise my grade average for that#i want to go from a B average to an A something average to improve my chances#but yeah younger me wouldn't believe this 😂#i really want to study harder to make that step up to more A's than B's like uni does come quite easy to me#and while i study way more compared to others i still get away with less effort and good results but i could have excellent grades#on the one hand it's good that i improved so much on the other those expectations might not be because i'm almost never satisfied anymore 😅#and i know it's kind of really unimportant because there are real problems and also many uni students struggle to pass their classes#it's maybe even a bit disrespectful because they'd be happy to have these grades and i should be more grateful#but i swear i don't look down on anyone with worse grades i know how difficult it can be and also how outside factors play a role#some have it more difficult some have to work a lot next to uni or really suffer from mental illness besides no one's brain is the same
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone 😔 but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... 😌 i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up ‼️#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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