#like I’m talking in the hundredS
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why drive so long? is it cause airfare is so expensive?
My family went to Disney world for a little trip 🥰
And we drove for a few different reasons I guess
#yes mainly cause the airfare is so expensive#and we are already spending so much ya know#also my parents haven’t flown in ages#and I guess I haven’t either?#haven’t flown since like senior year of high school I think?? so 2016 🤦🏽♀️#so my parents are super anxious to fly#they’ve heard awful stories about people having to sleep at the airport or lost luggage or whatever#we did this same trip last year and after we got back we kept saying ‘next time we are going to fly’#and then when it came around again they were talking driving again and I’m like ?????? but why lol#at least we got a renter car so there is a lot more room#it just takes so damn long#also going back to the money thing - I heard that they charge you for all the random shit too.#like if you want to sit next to your party or who you’re coming with?#yeah that’s extra#everything is just so damn expensive#you don’t even wanna know how much I fucking spent on food alone at Disney#I was sitting alright on money#now I am not#and it was all on FOOD#I didn’t buy really anything fun or for me#cause I was spending so much money on food already#like I’m talking in the hundredS#can’t imagine how expensive it is for a whole family omg#ive been super sleepy so far so maybe ill end up sleeping the entire way back lol#ask#anon#<< meant to post this before I fell asleep ooopsies
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Idk it just annoys me as someone who was heavily affected by a mass shooting and had to suffer through a media parade of “he was just a poor bullied mentally ill kid who sat alone at lunch 😢” nonstop right after not knowing if I’ll ever see my friends again, only for THIS to be the fucking case where all of a sudden everyone grows a conscious and decides we’re not allowed to sympathize with the killer, like fuck right off, I spent the latter half of high school wondering if I was going to be next, there are still days where I can barely stand to be out in public places, I don’t actually give a shit that billionaire CEOs with their private security teams are crying about how scary it is and they don’t know if they’re going to be next and how we should all feel so so bad for them, that same sympathy was never extended to me or my loved ones so why should I give it to them?
#fae.txt#like we were bombarded with anti-bullying PSAs essentially blaming us for what happened but I am not allowed to say it’s UHC’s own fault#for denying hundreds of thousands of people lifesaving healthcare? fuck off#united healthcare#luigi mangione#anyway I apologize for continuing to talk about this but I feel like this explains pretty well why I’m so invested in the case
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Do you think you could lose weight even if you tried?
i think i could !!! done it before—i’ve lost 40+lbs two separate times.
i just need a vice loll, in the past that’s been weed and/or coke zero 🤷♀️ from there i just start moving more and eating less. with that it comes off pretty fast.
that being said, i’ve never tried to maintain weight loss, so who knows? the main issue is motivation, i’m wayyy more motivated to gain than anything else haha
#i’m pretty lucky and have family members that would jump at the chance to help me w weight loss haha#(my family used to be pretty fat all around but they’ve each lost like 100lbs at least)#my uncle lost hundreds of lbs and has kept it off for years bc he’s crazy into weight lifting now#talk#ask
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‘you should be samcrit and deancrit they both suck!!!!!!!!’ what has sam ever done
#i’m being like one hundred percent serious. what has he done😭#his silliest moment was releasing the darkness in order to cure dean winchester should’ve just killed his ass twice over but how could i#ever actually blame him for that. also like three other people were helping him#sorry i’m starting to think this blog is getting too negative#i just complain all the time#<- words from someone who feels guilt over posting on my own blog but whatever#spn#oliver talks#supernatural
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Commissions!
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The Process ✨
#rambles alert#this year has not been a productive year for me as an artist tbh#normally no matter the circumstances I create at least about one hundred pieces a year#but now as it’s closer and closer to the end of the year it’s not even reached fifty yet#which worries me a little#but honestly i feel every piece I’ve made this year is all quite out of my comfort zone so that might explain the unproductivity#for instance the first pic. I’ve never drawn anything as big scaled as this is#it’s like SUPER CHALLENGING and eventually took me 44 hours to make which is also the longest working hours for me on one piece#but that’s the good thing about doing commissions i guess#it never ceases to give you new challenges and I’m always thankful to everyone who gives me the chance to try new things#learned a lot from all of these!!#ok I hope you enjoy my artist’s ted talk haha ;)#commission art#commission#dnd art#dnd campaign#artists on tumblr#art commisions#comms#hikaru commission#digital art#art#hikaruchen#wonka#edit: found my first ever sketch for the first pic which shows me doing sketches can sometimes be a total mess lmao
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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fae dick grayson's reaction to bruce being lost in the timestream?
I’m afraid I don’t have much knowledge of that incident, but Dick would absolutely lose it
Depending on whether or not he’s aware of Bruce’s continued survival his further actions would differ vastly.
If we go with “Dick knows” then he’s still go on a minor rampage that creates a new ground zero for strange occurrences.
If he doesn’t… well, the “minor” rampage would reach epic proportions….
That’s Dick’s dad they killed. The one who took him in, gave him a new home, the one who accepted him and taught him how to empathize with humans, to make compromises where a fae would never have.
Where it happens… well, let’s just say no human being without a fae’s protection can ever enter this place again without becoming ensnared in the wrathful magic there.
And the rest of the batfamily has to deal with not being let out of Dick’s sight again for several months.
On the plus side, when Tim first suggests that Bruce got lost in the time stream Dick is the first to believe him. 🕰️🌲
#fae dick grayson#the other things from the woods#you know those places that just work wrong somehow?#the ones where deer step into but never leave?#the ones where you can see lights sometimes from between the trees?#the ones where roots seem to grow in patterns?#where insects don’t cross?#yeah that’s the one I’m talking off#like the moors where over a hundred soldiers just vanished#dang my home sounds weird now#eh#dick grayson#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#batdad
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found someone talking about my fic(s) in the wild on twt earlier today and oh my god it still makes me wanna cry, they were so so so nice
#fay talks#it seriously was divine intervention bc we’d never interacted before and I’m rarely on twt#but i was scrolling thru my feed and saw someone talking about a fic they liked that hasn’t updated since nov 2023… and i thought hmm…#and then they said there were nine chapters available and i said HMM………#and then someone asked and they said it was 19 days and I said HUH#and then they linked my fics in the thread!!!! 😭😭😭#i don’t know why but that meant so much to me#sometimes i don’t think my works exist unless someone else says they do#which is awful in a way and shows I’m too dependent on feedback/reassurance/support#but also it’s amazing that hundreds of people have read my fics (whether they liked the fic or not lol) and that just seems insane to me#i’m so grateful! so shy! so happy! so inspired!#sorry I just had to get this out of my system and I couldn’t do it on twt bc they might have seen me acting like a fool over smth so small#oh — and the same goes for the handful of times I’ve seen ppl recommending my fics here on tumblr too. like oh my god??? thank you 😭😭😭#i need to get a hold of myself i can’t keep tearing up over things like this 😭
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how do y'all get ur work counts SO high??
we are professional yappers i fear
#asks#rly it’s bc we plan quite a bit for each chapter because we’ve said a few times before we are both Huge on pacing#and we will sacrifice normal word counts to ensure the pacing is right lol#like we genuinely try to cut where we can but it usually will only save a couple of hundred words so we keep it in#also we are both notoriously bad at guessing what our word counts will be#i’m talking we are typically off by 10k HAHA
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i did not want to be That Guy but literally if i keep seeing that the only tags ppl leave on that peterick bunk cuddling art is about petes ass i swear i WILL start biting people like i know it’s meant for fun and trust me it was funny to me to begin with too but having smth like that said over and over. without any sort of like further. compliment or excitement at least after is just disheartening at this point
#i doubt anyone gives a damn that i’m saying this but… listen. Please. if you’re gonna have fun about it can you at least put a heart emoji#the only reason he ‘has a fat ass’ is because of… me lining wrong and it’s like. not fun as an artist for it to be (INDIRECTLY YALL DIDNT#KNOW ITS OK) reminded i made a mistake. over and over#the sketch does not have cake i just. made that line way too thick and a little too curved so it. … Gave Him Cake#and i lined his back a little too far down than compared to the sketch so it makes it worse#anyway what i’m saying here is. literally i see like a hundred mistakes in that art and everytime you leave just smth like that as a tag#and nothing more? it just brings it All back up dude like. to the point it’s giving me stage fright SORRY BFKDBF#though tbh this is just made worse cause it’s like. most of the twt replies on twitter . and you all know i cant Stand her (twitter)#god i just keep talking huh#haiiii if you read this far. muah. kissy
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Fixating on something that you know sucks is sooo funny. No I don’t like this thing. Why would you think that? Do you want to hear me talk at length for hours about every detail of it and why I don’t like it? No? Okay well do you want to see my silly fanart?
#one hundred million points if anyone can guess what I’m talking about#hint is that it’s a musical that I liked when I was 13
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in an au where only one sibling is a girl, who has the worse time? dean, being a more one-to-one replacement for mary and the parentification? or sam, being protected to the point of complete infantilization?
great question. to me this is like thinking about who in canon had it worst. impossible. both insanely awful in different ways. my instincts are telling me sammy just because i know the misogyny she’d experience would be insane. she’d have actively the worst time. whereas dean is already so parentified in canon in terms of damage to his psyche it probably wouldn’t be that much Worse, just different
#thanks for the ask <3333#whenever anyone sends me asks especially about spn ESPECIALLY about girl au sam or dean that live in my head it is like my birthday#sams already canonically such a lonely kid and as a girl shed be even more isolated from like dean and johns whole Thing#i feel like it would take all the stuff she experiences in canon and dial it up to a hundred#whereas i don’t think girl dean would be treated WORSE than canon dean. if anything i feel like shed be slightly less fully entrenched into#the hunting life/in being a perfect soldier. it would be just as bad in different ways! but Worse? probably but🤷♂️i’m not as certain as th#as i am on sam#spn#oliver talks#girl dean#girl sam#femchesters#asks
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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atp absolutely cannot blame ppl here for hating my nationality like the customers we got today that had to be told ‘no’ and the way they reacted to it made me want the ground to open up and swallow me whole
#being told to suck dick and smth abt my mom bc my manager couldn’t give some bitch £500 for a phone w a scratch on it … ok 🥴#like her brother bought it for her when she was at work and she kept trying to pawn it for hundreds and it’s like lady ???? no means no#and some other guys were mad we wouldn’t discount a drill bc they were mad they had no batteries to test it in store#im like frankly I’m glad someone sold that to us with no batteries bc im p sure I would’ve been lobotomised on sight 🤨#I didn’t speak to them in our language so they didn’t know I could understand them but next time when I hear it I’m just gonna greet them in#our language so they know if they talk shit I’ll understand and can get them barred lol#bc im sorry but like. none of us get paid enough for this literally both sets of those ppl get paid more than we do at minimum wage#we work at a second hand store there’s nothing we can do abt ur complaints we sell what we get sold 🥴#mrow.org
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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It's like you're doing "Insert Harry Potter into MHA in every age group possible challenge" Or something, and it's kinda great actually
That’s straight up just how my brain works only now instead of me throwing these in a notes app for me to forget about for years at a time I’m tossing them out to the many eyed void to see if they flourish or starve.
#the elf talks#you don’t want to see how many fic ideas I have scattered between notebooks notes app and my docs#hundreds probably#I have unfortunately always been like this now I’m just letting others see my insanity
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