#yeah if you just look at the differences it's insane

[alientee]

Shimmer Head

Ekko x reader

6k+ words

Fem reeader

Hazbin hotel Easter egg included. Addicted song describes reader.

Warning: suicidal thoughts and actions, drug use not by choice though.

Im sorry it took so long yall I’ve been crocheting blankets for Christmas and life has been lifting with work

You were an anomaly, or at least that’s what Silco called you. Apparently he saved you at birth; one calm walk through Zaun's lanes, and your mom was an overdosing shimmer head who was getting her last fix before she pushed you out. You survived. This was something Silco never thought possible; even when you looked like a shivering, whining skeleton, you were strong, a survivor, and from that day on, you were his daughter.

As life went on, you got stronger, faster, and a little more insane; your eyes changed, looking like a wild mix of two different colors. You changed so much it confused you every day to see yourself. How the voices in your head would go from telling you to slaughter everyone to offing yourself.

Silco had you microdosed with shimmer ever since you were a newborn till now, and you handled it each and every time. You were his creation, his wild card. Even as a child, he had you by his side with torture, robbing, and meetings. You’ve done it all. There were days the voices really did get to you; sometimes it was better to hurt yourself rather than to crash. You can remember the times Silco had to stop you from hurting him and yourself. The scars on your arms, the bloodstains left on your clothes, the burn scars from throwing bone down without any care, ready to give it all up. Either you survived, or Silco was just in time.

So when you first met Jinx, your first thoughts were, This poor kid, she’s just a dreamer.

But she followed you around everywhere, calling you sis, saying she’d never leave your side, she’d never leave you no matter what. Not like her sister did. You didn’t believe her; how could you? No one but Silco ever saw you; he’s the only one that loved you.

Until she followed you to a club one night.

You spin around in the chair, listening to the grungy punk music, drunk, horny prowlers, angry wannabes, and goofy dancers mixing into the crowd. You sit in your chair in the corner of the club, drink in one hand, revolver in the other. One bullet, one drink—it was all a game to you. The gun clicked three times, and you took three shots before it was snatched from your hand. And lo and behold, it was your new shadow coming to ruin the fun.

“Hey, what gives, Blue Jay!”

“How are you going to be the big shot legacy Silco says if you're dead, dumbass!”

“It’s none of your business!”

“We’re family now, so yeah, you are!”

“You going to love me even if I try to kill Silco in his sleep?”

“I’d still love you even if you killed me with him.”

Family, huh?

“Fine.”

For the first time you didn’t take your game too far, or get fucked up and pass out behind the bar; you didn’t even have a mental breakdown.

At least the voices got quiet for a while.

After a while you started to think of Jinx as a sister. Someone you could confide in, someone who gets you. Was Silco the best dad? Nah, but he was all you had. Now you know he had Jinx too. You thought everything was ok; you could be happy with your found family; even if you were broken, you still had people to fix you up, so everything was fine.

At least you genuinely believed everything was alright.

Until Jinx’s actual sister showed up, calling her Powder, the hugging, the crying, the family reunion was cute. You haven’t seen Jinx this vulnerable in a while. Everything was calm until some Piltie came out, and then the moment was gone. Jinx threatens the redhead with the gun, and boom, the Firelights had you all surrounded.

“Jinx, if you want your sister back, you gotta be smart about this.” The silence you got back let her know she was thinking up something stupid.

Smoke and ash covered the air, bullets flying and fighting at every turn. The firebugs just didn’t know when to quit, always trying to get into business that isn’t theirs. It was fun knocking them off their boards every once in a while. You’ve faced them before with Jinx killed a couple of times; you didn’t kill any of them, though. Never had the guts to really kill innocent people; you didn’t want to know what the voices would say if you did. You didn’t want to lose yourself all the way.

As always, Jinx is shooting bullets every which way in the sky, which wasn’t bad, but using bombs to blow up the platform is very bad. Your body hurt, your ears were ringing, and you could barely breathe. You tried calling out for Jinx but got no answer. You finally dragged yourself up; you can see some fire bugs down, but you couldn’t see Jinx. Couldn’t see her sister. Didn’t even see the body lying dead somewhere.

Huh, you were all alone.

Then it dawned on you: Jinx did it on purpose. She really was a genius, truly. She blew up the platform, making a distraction; a lot of people were down and out. Nobody could see what was happening; some too injured to chase.

Looks like she could only carry her sister to safety, though.

You’ll never leave me no matter what, huh?

Hehehehehe, yeah right!

You could finally breathe again and got the strength to stand up. It was all just so funny, really.

Bunch of bullshit hahahahaha

You didn’t notice anything going on around you, the shuffling of people standing; you didn’t feel all the cautious eyes on you. Not that you cared; all you cared about were the voices screaming at you so loud you could swear your ears were bleeding.

Walking towards the edge of the platform is easy. Turning around and giving a mock salute to the firelights with a smile on your face was easy. But dropping to your death knowing the last thing playing in your headphones was your and Jinx's song, it fucking burned every lyric you tried to sing just turned to ash in your mouth.

But at least now the voices would stop forever. The air rushed through your ears and then nothing.

Out like a light

You woke up in an eerily dark room; honestly, it was predictable. Down to the moldy smell, the silence, and the creepy guy in the corner with a mask. And you honestly should’ve been more mad at yourself for getting saved; you couldn’t even die in peace!

“Why am I alive, dammit!”

The silence was so annoying; there’s no need to try and be intimidating. You’ve seen worse. You hate people who try those tactics; you can’t torture someone who’s already tortured every day. Geez, just kill them if they don’t tell you what you want.

“Look, I’m not going to tell you shit, so just kill me already!”

And then the mask comes off. You don’t know him, but you knew him, apparently jinx’s past. The boy savior, she calls him; he looks just like she said he would. You also remember what she told you about him. “Better watch out; the boy savior likes to think he can save everybody.”

Ok, you can deal with a wannabe hero.

“Your on shimmer. You are an addict; Slico has you do his dirty work, and he gives you your next fix. Am I right?”

You’re really fucking wrong. Scratch that; you didn’t want to deal with the wannabe hero.

“So how about you tell me what I need to know, and you get to lay low somewhere secret and get off that shit before you try and die again while Silco just replaces you?”

The voices started to get louder, your throat tight and blood dripping from your palms for how tight you started to squeeze them. His words were like acid on your skin. Just who did this asshole think he was?

“First of all, dipshit, I’m his daughter! Ok, not some random street rat shimmer head he feeds. Second of all, shimmer makes people stronger. I should know; came right out of my druggie mom, still living and breathing, full of shimmer! I’ve been injected with it since Silco adopted me! He says I’m perfect; he says I'm his legacy. I don’t do his dirty work; I help him make Zaun better! So you're dead fucking wrong, wannabe!”

Now he’s looking at you like you’re crazy…. And you're used to that.

“This is better? Our people are dying all around us. Kids are abandoned! People are sick and starving. How is this better?”

“Blame Piltover! Duh!”

“It’s Piltover. And Silco, are you crazy??!!”

That word. It always did something to you. You didn’t care when people looked at you like you were... but calling you crazy? Different story. Something that made all the voices laugh, an itch in your brain that told you to break, hurt, destroy, kill, and show them your insane.

“FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! Hahahahahahahahaha. All of Piltover and Zaun is going to burn you, and your fucking bugs are going to be ash! I’m not crazy. I’m perfect. I’m perfect he said”—

Your music!?! Where were your headphones?!!?

You were so numb, in a really dark place, you never fully remembered how your episodes went. When that singed guy injected you with your first microdose of shimmer, all you remembered was the screaming and Silco whispering how proud he was. But Ekko would remember it all even in his dreams. How you banged your head against the pole you were tied against over and over again. Crying tears of shimmer while laughing hysterically until blood dripped on the side of your head. Only to end up sobbing.

The voices screamed and screamed and screamed. Until they stopped, they never just stopped without music or silco. And you never had this heavy feeling over your ears without your headphones.

Oh, it’s this Ekko guy. What is he doing? Why is he holding his hands over your face? Why is he looking at you like that?

“I’m sorry. You’re not crazy. I promise, okay? Breath for me nice and slow.”

This was nice: everything quiet, everything nice and warm. This is new, huh?

“Hey!? Wai”—

Out like a light again

“She’s a danger to the base!”

“We can help her. She’s not like Jinx! She’s the product of a bad situation. She’s not with Silco because she wants to be; it’s because it’s all she knows.”

“She’s a mess; keeping her here is like bringing bullshit to our door!”

“He’s been injecting her with shimmer since she was an infant! We can’t kick her out!”

“Can y'all shut up sleeping here?”

Bat Guy and Ekko just stared at you.

“Look, I don’t care what you do to me; can I just have my damn headphones? The voices, ya know, they’re telling me to escape and kill everyone here. Soooooo, my earphones, pretty please.”

The boy wonder hands them over and puts them over your ears. And even with no music playing, everything feels peaceful. The whole time, he and Bat Boy are still going back and forth; this time you couldn’t hear it, though. Finally you get silence, if only for a moment. You almost bit Ekko when he moved one of them back off.

“Look, let’s compromise: you get a little freedom, supervised. And we get one shimmer shipment location… not the factory, just the shipment.”

“No bullshit babysitters; it’s you or nothing.”

“...fine.”

You could’ve told him to fuck off and die. Make him eat his sappy little words. But after the way he held your ears, he looked like a kicked puppy for making you freak out. How softly he said sorry. It was different; it was new. You didn’t do soft, not that much.Silco always told you to play your enemies, so maybe giving a little bait wouldn’t be too bad.

“Fine, boy wonder, I’ll give you a shipment that’s all.”

“Thank you.”

There he goes, looking at you like that again.

Like some kind of puppy. What a sucker.

Ekko took you outside, but you didn’t want to socialize, so he kept you both at a good distance from the others. While taking you out of the base, you didn’t want to look at anyone. If you saw any leering faces and judging eyes, you knew you’d lash out.

Oddly enough, you didn’t want to smack the fuck out of Ekko's face. Maybe a little bit, not a lot. You didn’t know what it was, but Ekko was calming; his presence was like a warmth in the dark murk of Zaun. You didn’t understand how he could be so... normal with all of this around him.

Maybe it was the fact that he actually took you out of the hideout and onto a roof to look over Piltover. You could’ve knocked him out, taken his board, and run. Why is he so stupidly trusting? “How do you do it?” He raises an eyebrow. “Do what?” You raise one back “Be so happy-go-lucky when we live in a place like Zaun.” That made him stop his steps, and he looks serious; you haven’t seen him unless he’s talking about shipments.

“I have to make a change for the people who can’t help themselves; I want to give people something to live for; the firelight is my way of doing that.”

And there he goes again, making your mind feel funny again. It sounds like he means it; everything Ekko says always sounds genuine, but somehow you can’t bring yourself to believe him.

“Alright then, help me by teaching me how to ride one of those hoverboard things.” Ekko’s eyes get wide, and his mouth even opens a little. “You want to learn? I’ve been trying to get you to do that for a week. What changed?” You didn’t want to let him know the real reason, so you decided to play it off.

“Just thought I could kick your butt at something, boy wonder,” he scoffed. You knew he hated the nickname; it was too fun teasing him to stop, though.

“Alright, alright. If you’re so confident, then I’ll teach you. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when you end up falling off a few times.”

“I’ll be a pro; just you wait and see.”

You were in fact not a pro. Your knees were scuffed, and the dirt on your clothes was a testament to just how many times you hit the dirt. “Sorry this is taking so long; I feel fucking stupid.” Ekko grabs your hands and pulls you up, grabbing the board. “Don’t; it takes everyone a minute to learn this is no different. How do you think I feel? I made it; I had to test it and fall a lot.” You give him a nod, deciding to take the board back with a little more confidence this time. “What a boy genius you are,” you got a snort in return.

“Now, remember, hoverboards are pretty sensitive. You have to find your balance and keep it steady. And be careful not to lean too far to one side or the other, or you’ll tip over.” Ekko watches you carefully as you mount the hoverboard, his arms crossed over his chest. The hoverboard begins to move forward as you lean, slowly at first, but steadily gaining speed.

You could hear Ekko yelling behind you, “There you go, you’re doing great! Just keep your balance and focus on the path ahead.”

“What about turns!? What if I fall??”

“Don’t worry; I’ll be right here to catch you if you fall.”

You got the hang of it after a while; you both went back to the base riding your hoverboard and even racing some of the kids. It was a good time, no responsibilities, no expectations. It still hurt you; there was no Silco, but at least you had distractions.

Ekko seemed to show up when he wasn’t asked; it’s like he knew when to butt into people's business.

He was there during your worst moments of loneliness. When the darkness was too much, when the voices kept repeating the insults louder and crueler. Telling you to kill yourself, that you're nothing, worthless, not good enough, burn the firelight base to the ground, and watch everyone around you die. You’ll only end up alone anyway. The smell of ash and blood, you could remember it by heart. Tears pouring out of your eyes continuously, you didn’t even sob. You had nothing to be sad about in the moment. You just naturally cried, and all you could do was scream, hoping I’d stop. Sitting in the dark waiting for it all to end. Thinking, hoping that just maybe one day you’d be blessed enough not to wake up.

It wasn’t until you felt Ekko's heavy gloves on your shoulder. Asking if you were ok, if you needed anything, if you needed him. Looking at you like you're the only thing that mattered in the moment. Moving to sit next to you, his shoulder lightly touching yours. “You don’t have to talk; just know I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere.” Those days were hard, but it always felt nice to have Ekko lying on the floor next to you, no words, just his company.

He even let you into his little workshop. His words: “You don’t have to knock. If you need me, just come in” You’d hand him his tools and use all the knowledge you had on tech to help. You used to make a lot of trinkets that helped your day-to-day life. You didn’t like to make weapons like Jinx, but you could make a mean bomb. You’ve even fallen asleep to his tinkering and his little nerd-out moments. “You're such a dork.” He wouldn’t even take his eyes off his invention.

“Shush if you're not going to help.”

“Touchy touchy. Here, let me look, boy genius.” When you actually put in effort to help him, he’d look at you from the side of his eye, and you’d pretend like you didn’t notice the small smile creeping up on his face. Sitting by his side until late at night, making new things to help out in the base. Both your giggles and the metal clanking were the only things heard at 3 am.

And that’s how it was for a month. Ekko is coming in, trying to coax you into giving up Silco; you give him a little info, and he folds and gives you what you want for the day. You had a good thing going. So why’d he want to ruin it now? You were fine seeing the kids; you made small talk with one of the firelight girls, but that’s it. Everyone else you dealt with in passing. So why was Ekko so set on you interacting with more people?

“How about we hang out with the group for a bit?”

“I’m fine; I hate people.”

“Look, I’m just trying to—“

“I don’t need help! I don't need friends! I—I need my dad; I need…. I need to feel in control. It still feels like I’m a fucking prisoner even if you say I’m not.

Ekko doesn’t talk for a minute; you can tell he’s trying to choose his words wisely, his white locs covering his face. “I don’t know what you see in Silco, even if he took you in…. You can’t tell me you truly see the good in what he’s doing.

You didn’t answer him. Afraid you’ll say something you’ll regret by lashing out. He didn’t get it; he didn’t get you! Silco was your dad; Silco helped you ignore the voices; he loved you even if he had a funny way of showing it.

“He’s not the best dad in the world, but he’s my dad. He helped me when I had no one. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Ekko didn’t answer you; it’s like he wanted to argue, but he knew you needed this.

“Just... just give it a chance; you may find your people.”

If he heard your scoff, he didn’t react to it.

I don’t have people; all I have is my dad and myself, even when I don’t love myself.

Ekko’s soft words pulled you out of your thoughts.

“You have me too.”

“Until how long, hmmm, till I run out of information?”

“That’s no—“

“Hey, Ekko, tell me how I survived the day I jumped.”

Ekko went back silent; he was giving you that look again, and you hated it. It’s like he saw everything within you, and it made you feel naked, like you couldn’t hide.

“Oh that… flew down to save you.”

“Why?”

“When you smiled at us before you fell, I thought you were asking for help.”

You giggled at that; only Ekko would think of saving his enemy who tried to off themselves in front of him. “Your something else, Sunflower.”

“Sunflower!? What kind of flower is that? We don’t have those in Zaun.”

“Alright, take me out or whatever it is you want.”

“D-don’t say it like that. Come on, I’ll introduce you to the kids.”

You never knew Zaun could look like this, or even have a tree, and now the name firelights makes sense: nothing but a lush green tree with the fireflies all around it. It’s peaceful, plush; it’s nice. You got a few looks here and there, but it’s fine; ekkos here, and you weren’t forced to hang out with who you didn’t want to.

And that’s how you spent your day bonding with Ekko and even the kids; they weren’t as judgy, and you appreciated it. Even when they had questions, it didn’t feel pointed. “Why do you always wear those things on your head?” your headphones; you never took them off, never could bring yourself to part from the one thing that helps stop the voices, no matter how battered and dingy they are. “They’re headphones. They help me when I’m scared or upset.” “Oooooh, I get it; my mask helps me! Makes me feel stronger!” “Good, use your strength to become the best firelight you can be.”

That’s how the day started and ended: you playing with the kids, running around, playing tag and hide and seek until the night came. The kids gathered around, using common objects around them to make a little band; music brings a lot of the firelights together, and somebody brings an actual scrap-made speaker playing louder music. Some even start to dance. And in this moment you couldn’t help but think maybe Ekko was right; maybe these people were ok.

You grab the overworking leader by the arm and pull him with you. “What is it?”

“Come on, Ekko, let’s dance!”

“Dance?”

“Yeah, you scared boy wonder?“

“Not at all, but um… why?”

“Who doesn’t like dancing!”

That’s when the music hits and nothing else matters. Ekko moves effortlessly, his body flowing in perfect harmony with yours. He keeps you close, his chest pressed against yours as he twirls you around. The world outside seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your own little bubble. Your body’s moving in rhythm as the music gets Ekko pulls you closer, one hand resting on your waist while the other takes hold of your hand, spinning you. He begins to sway gently, guiding you in a slow dance. Holding each other’s sides, swaying back and forth. Every minute you got to look in Ekkos's eyes, seeing him smile at you like that did something to you; he really was something else.

You couldn’t let those eyes shake you, though. You knew it was only a matter of time before it all went to hell; no one really gives a damn about you, no one except Silco. But maybe if you were a better daughter, he would’ve found you by now.

Ekko could only look at you in confusion when you walked away from him, away from the gathering. He thought it was a good moment that he was finally getting through to you. But he wasn’t one to push, not when he knew what you’d been through, but he followed you up the stairs to the treehouse.

And when he found you, the silence was heavy but comfortable. That’s how it was with you too, and you’d never say it out loud, but he made you feel safe.

“Do you want to stay here?”

You timidly glanced into his eyes before you took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” you looked away, closing your eyes, trying to stop yourself from getting out of hand. Ekko hummed, leaving more silence in between you both, and then he asked another, “Even if you know Silco loves you, it isn’t healthy.”

You opened your eyes as a bitter taste remained in your mouth. Your face contorted into different expressions as you debated with yourself on whether or not you would share.

“My mother was a shimmer addict; she had me right as she overdosed. And Silco found me; I was different; I survived even with a small, premature body full of shimmer. He said I was unique, that I could change all of Zaun. I believe him. I’ve done a lot of great things… at least I think so. Even if you don’t agree with him, he saved me.

“But you're not okay—

“Don’t tell me what I am! I’m perfect as I am; he said so! I may not be normal, but I am living instead of surviving, Ekko! Can’t you see that?”

“I do. But you know what else I see? I see how happy you are riding your board; I see how sweet you are with the kids, especially when you steal yarn from the top side and crochet stuff for them; I see how you care for Raven when you think she’s not looking by finding her favorite things to surprise her without letting her know it was you; I see how you truly care for the people you're loyal to. You touch people's lives and leave light in your wake. I see how beautiful you are inside and out. You’re your own person, not what Silcos made you! You can do better than what he has you doing.”

“Is that what you’ve come up with in your mind? That I’m just this lost, misguided girl who was groomed to be fucked up? News flash! Boy Wonder, I’m in Zaun. I was going to be fucked up regardless of Silco! Who do you think I am, huh? Don’t act like you know me, 'cause you don’t! Stop trying to change me into something I’m not! I’m not some knockoff version of Jinx you can fix just because I decided to be nice a few times. What?! I’m your little powder passion project. Couldn’t save her, so you’re trying to save me because we both have family, daddy, and abandonment issues?!”

You knew it was a low blow, but even though she left you, you couldn’t help but think about Jinx’s words, taking them to heart, and everything she told you. “He likes to think he can save everyone.”

He narrowed his eyes at your response; you could see him clenching his fist and clenching his teeth. His eyes no longer looking at you with acceptance or worry like you were used to, only irritation

“I wasn’t trying to change her; I thought she was in danger. I didn’t know she went with that piece of shit willingly…. I thought I could save her; I needed to because she was my friend.”

“Ohhhhh, that’s right, you’re the boy savior!”

His eyes went from a glare to cold and lifeless.

“Fuck you. You know nothing; you only know Jinx's pain but not mine. You’re right about one thing, though: you and Jinx are similar. So I don’t know why I was stupid enough to try and help you; just like her, you don’t deserve it.” That just pissed you off more.

“I didn’t ask you to help me! I didn’t ask for you to save me from offing myself! I didn’t ask for you to try and fucking fix me or my life!”

“I’m not trying to change you; I’m trying to give you something better! A chance! Silco didn’t give you a chance; he used you! Your work, a tool! If you survived on shimmer this long since birth, you're proof that his product can lead to something greater than he thought. But it’s at the expense of you and your health.” His voice lowers, his breathing heavy. “Please… tell me you see it. You have to know that keeping you on shimmer as long as he has wasn’t to help you. Only him.”

In the back of your mind you knew; you always knew. And yet the faith he put in you gave your heart love you’ve never felt before. How he always stated he was proud of you, said you were the best thing to happen in his life, that you're his legacy, his daughter. But what was the cost for your heart, suicidal thoughts, breakdowns, nightmares, and dissociation? A mother that never wanted you, a father that loved you but not enough to see your pain, only your potential. “Hey Ekko, thank you. For saving me and making me realize. I don’t want people to end up like me... because I’m not ok.”

“Then let me he“—”. He didn’t get to finish before you pushed back, making him crash into the tree behind him. You jumped from the stairs on the tree; you didn’t care about the fall because it’s the freest you ever felt. You could hear the other fireflies yelling, but the adrenaline and the wind in your ears helped you ignore them. As soon as you fell, you pushed forward, not caring about the pain in your legs and ankles. Grabbing a hoverboard before speeding off and out of the hideout.

When Ekko got up, he didn’t chase you, nor did he call out for you; all he could do was watch. Scar rushed up to him, looking at him expectingly. “She’s going to go back to Silco!? We have to catch her before she rats us out!?” Ekko didn’t react to his words, only looking forward to where you had run. “Ekko!” And when Ekko finally looked at Scar, he just shrugged. “She’ll be back when she’s ready.” “She’s not coming back." Ekko, she’s been waiting for an opportunity to escape, and we let her!”

Ekko just shook his head, picking up something off the ground. “She’ll be back.” “How do you know!?” Ekko moved his hand in front of Scar, showing him what he picked up. “She left her headphones.” Scar just scoffed. “That doesn't mean anything.” Ekko just shook his head. “Trust me, if you knew her like I do, you’d know it meant everything.”

You wandered around one of Silco's biggest shimmer factories, where most of his shipments go. You walked around the rooftop, pacing back and forth. “I’m addicted to the madness~” You turned on your headphones, singing along, tuning out the noise below, scummy workers and henchmen everywhere. “Let me leave my soul a-burning; I’ll be breathing it in.” Sneaking down through the crawl spaces, you laid out bombs everywhere you could stick them. You set up trap after trap after trap after trap. You knew this place like the back of your hand, so it was easy to get in and get out.

“I’m addicted to the feeling, getting higher than the ceiling~” This place had meaning to you… this was the first place Silco took you when he felt like you were ready to work for him. The first place where he showed you the ropes was the same place he had you start your injections. The same place you had your first breakdown. This felt like a goodbye to the past, the pain, everything that made you feel inadequate. You don’t know what you’d be without Silco; you knew the voices would never fully leave, but at least with this you could let your dad know you were ok and that you were going your own way.

“Just concede and give in to your inner demons again~” You hit the button, and it all blew up—the building, the workers.

And you too. Hopefully, Silco can forgive you for not saying goodbye.

It’s been 3 months; Ekko waited for you to return. But after a while he could only assume you’d either gone your own way or something terrible happened. Missions still happened with no sign of you with Silco's goons, and there’s talk about the huge explosion that happened, so he couldn’t pinpoint what had happened to you; all he had to give him comfort about your departure was your headphones. He never touched them, only keeping them by his bedside with your memory lingering with him whenever there in his sight. But today at 12 am, he finally had the courage to tinker with them, hopefully fixing them up.

He was concentrating so hard he didn’t hear the door open; it was Scar. “Your stray is back,” and as soon as he came, he left.

“Hey sunflower,” he jumped and turned around so quickly you thought he’d fall out of the chair. He did slip a little as he rushed to hug you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh.

“Missed me?” He squeezed your torso, chuckling a little. “Missed your humor, not your bullshit.” You poked at his side, making him jump. “Lies, you missed that too. Everyone else is boring.

He pulls you over to his patched-up couch, both of you plopping down. You lean into his touch, laying on his shoulder. Neither of you said anything; you didn’t need to. You don’t know what you expected when it came to his reaction. But you’re glad Ekko didn’t pressure you to talk about anything or question what you’d been doing. You’d tell him one of these days. The withdraws, breakdowns, you almost ending it all. But right now you just wanted to enjoy his company; being alone for months took its toll, so it’s good to be back in a warming presence.

It took everything in you to not go back to Silco, to everything that was easier. But you pulled it off, and you hope Ekko could see that you really are trying. “Was it you?” He spoke so softly you thought you just imagined it, but Ekkos looking into your eyes let you know it was real. And you knew what he meant; your explosion was nothing but destruction, but you wanted to leave that behind you. So you said the only thing that was closest to the truth. “I’m following my own path now, Ekko.” When you looked back at him, it almost took your breath away. Those stupid, big, brown eyes looking at you with so much warmth you could’ve melted right then and there. It made you sick.

“I’m happy for you... So you’re just visiting?”

“Geez, trying to kick me out already, huh?” He shook his head. “Of course not. I just…. I want you to be happy and go your own way, even if it’s not here with me.” You looked away, biting your cheek. “So what if I wanted to be happy here?”.

“Then I’d make a space for you right now; you’re always welcome.”

“Even in your room~”

“Yeah, you can stay with me if you want.”

You felt all your thoughts falter and come to a stop once the words were out of his mouth. You paused and looked at him, face red. “Easy there; we don’t want everyone jealous that the big boss in charge is playing favorites.” He pulls you so close, too close. His nose and forehead touching your own. You don’t know this Ekko, Ekko who always was too shy to flirt back, who was always the gentleman, who only gave fleeting touches like he was afraid to break you. “You are my favorite; you’ll always be someone special to me.” You couldn’t help pushing his buttons, not wanting him to see your face reddening.

“Leaders shouldn’t show favoritism, ya know. I’m going to need something for me to keep quiet; wouldn’t want to hurt the kiddies feelings, would you? out of all the things you expected Ekko to say, you didn’t expect what he’d do.

Ekko leans down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. It’s slow and tender; the brush of his lips is so soft. He takes his time, savoring the feel of your lips against his, pouring all of his love and affection into the kiss. He leaned back and smiled warmly as he continued to gently caress your cheek. He looked at you with a soft, affectionate expression, his gaze filled with adoration thatyou’d noticed before. You just never had the guts to call him out on it.

“Is that enough to keep you quiet?”

“It's a start.”

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

Just a quick little unedited Clegan size-difference drabble that’s more silly than spicy based on this ask @haroldhearsawho sent ❤️

“Oh God!” Gale whined, tossing his head back and moaning up at the ceiling. “You’re so big!”

John grunted, the snap of his hips not slowing as he leaned forward and mouthed at Gale’s shoulder where his jersey had slipped down. The new jersey John had to order because he put on more muscle and outgrew the last one. Again.

“Yeah?” John groaned, reaching back and grabbing the lip of the island counter he had Gale splayed out on, using his grip to put more force behind his thrusts. “Bet I could bench press you now.”

Keening up at the ceiling, Gale let his hands drop from John’s curls to grip at his biceps. He moaned low and loud when they didn’t even come close to wrapping around John’s bulging arms.

Gale swore the team’s diet plan and training regime was tailor made to drive him insane with desire.

“Yeah, doll,” John whimpered, burying his face against Gale’s collarbone, his thrusts practically choking Gale with how hard they were, his ass sliding along the counter with each fuck forward. “So fucking tight and tiny, bet I could pick you up and fuck you against the wall without breaking a sweat.”

Gale groaned brokenly, eyes fluttering closed as his heels dug into John’s firm ass.

“Oh Jesus!”

Gale’s head whipped around to look over his own shoulder toward the direction of Curt’s room where his door was now open and he was covering his eyes. One blue eye was still peeking out through a tiny gap in his fingers.

“Oh my God, Curt,” Gale gasped, slapping at John’s chest, trying to get him to stop fucking into him.

John’s hips stilled as he pulled his face away from Gale’s shoulder, frowning at him before he seemed to notice Curt over Gale’s shoulder. “Oh my God, Curt!”

“It's not even double digits on Sunday,” Curt whined, and Gale flushed realizing how loud they must have been to wake up a post-party Curt.

“Cover your eyes, you fucking pervert,” John snapped, grabbing the spatula he had been using to flip the protein pancakes and tossing it at Curt who artfully dodged it.

“I’m just appreciating the view,” Curt argued, finally dropping the useless hand from in front of his face and gesturing at where Gale was still spread out on the kitchen counter. John hastily pulled the jersey back into place, covering Gale up as best as he could. “Which, damn Buck, you can definitely still get it, but in front of my pancakes?”

Gale refused to feel embarrassed about getting fucked by his boyfriend in his own kitchen. Even if said kitchen was technically Curt’s too.

He hissed when John pulled out, despite how gentle John tried to be about it. John took a menacing step towards Curt, his boxer briefs still pulled halfway down his thighs.

“Curt, I’m wa-”

“What the fuck?” Curt squealed, covering his eyes for real at John’s full frontal assault. “Put your horse dick away Bucky!”

John grumbled, tucking himself back into his underwear and Gale took the opportunity of Curt’s eyes being covered to slide off the counter and grab his own underwear.

“Well maybe that’ll teach you to come barging in when we’re in the middle of a private moment,” John huffed, planting his hands on his hips and staring Curt down triumphantly.

Curt’s face pinched as he dropped his hand and glared at John.

“A private moment? Curt scoffed. “In our shared kitchen at 8:00 AM on a Sunday?”

“Well, I -“

“Well, nothing,” Curt snapped, expression going positively vicious as he stared John down. “I’m always down to listen to Buck moan like a pornstar, but your dirty talk needs some work brother.”

John spluttered and Gale couldn’t help the slight huff of laughter he let out. He bit his lip at the affronted look John sent him and the pleased look Curt threw his way. He knew better than to encourage Curt like that.

“Oh doll face, I’m gonna rack you up and do bicep curls with my big meaty pitcher arms. Yeah baby, does that make you horny?”

“You little,” John murmured venomously before he took off like a shot and started chasing a screaming Curt around the living room.

Gale picked up where John left off with the protein pancakes, sighing when he heard a loud crash and twin ‘sorry’s’ before the screeching and giggling started back up again. Gale had signed up for this.

He couldn’t find it in himself to regret a single second.

[mochinomnoms]

How do you think explaining Christmas would go down with the boys? I'm specifically looking at Krampus, cause the holiday is all about joy and hope and lights and and giving, and then there's just this half goat demon man that will stuff you in a sack and torture you for Your Sins.

The story of Krampus is actually really metal tbh. There was this evil butcher that killed, chopped, and salted these three kids that were hanging outside his shop, and then St. Nicholas came along and uses the Power Of God to commit actual fucking necromancy to bring the kids back to life. God then cursed this butcher to follow around St. Nich as a punisher that comes around every December 5. The French call him "the whipping father" it's fucking insane actually.

Some of the holiday is also a little weird when you put it into perspective, like: oh yeah, there's this red guy that you write letters to and then he breaks into your house and you leave an offering of milk and cookies for him in exchange for candy and gifts :D! He also has flying reindeer with very cute names btw! But we're not going to talk about that actually cause now we have to decorate this whole ass pine tree that I brought into ramshackle :D it's gonna be great! :D

Bro imagine giving them advent calendars! Those little ones with the small toys or chocolates- give one to Riddle he needs one. Lots of sugar intake to catch up on

🦩

To be real, I was raised very Catholic (ew) and traditionally Mexican so my Christmas stuff is very different from what you see on TV and like in Hallmark movies.

So like, we celebrated it as a religious holiday, so the Santa stuff is kinnda foreign to me, I only heard about it from school. We still got presents and stuff, but I remember doing Posadas, which is children reenacting the Mary and Joseph seeking shelter by going to houses and singing and asking for shelter. At the end we go to one of the parents' houses or to the church and have a little party! We also didn't really decorate like I've seen in American homes, we had like a cute tree usually, but mostly decorated the altars to La Virgen and the Nativity scene.

The biggest difference I've found is that we celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve instead; we had Nochebuena, so we'd go to midnight mass, have dinner, and at midnight we open presents. Technically, kids didn't get presents because of Santa or anything like that, we got it cause kids get gifts like how the three kings gave baby Jesus presents. Though that also is a different winter holiday in January or February, not sure. When I got older my family started getting more Americanized, and my brothers got the whole Santa deal, but we still did a lot of the church stuff.

Considering that there is no mention of any sort of religious institution in Twisted Wonderland, I imagine my explanation of Christmas would be very foreign. Though Noble Bell College basically being Notre Dame in the Masquerade event and Rollo practically inventing Catholic guilt in a world without Catholics has some implications? I actually don't think there is any mention of any deities that the cast or world in general worship, though perhaps it's implied with Hades? He's not referred to as God of the Underworld though, he's King so maybe??

This got off-topic, but I like to think any explanation of traditions from back home is fascinating to the boys! And there's a lot of winter holidays besides Christmas and Las Posadas, I mean Hanukkah is big and Yule is reemerging as people learn more about where traditions from Christmas comes from.

If you're like me and have a religious aspect to your winter holidays, I think they're curious about it and asking all sorts of questions! If you had the more traditional American Christmas, then they're super curious about the whole Santa deal! Like, they thought you said your world didn't have magic, so what's with this magically man in a red suit and white beard?

(Also, I don't know what advent calendars are, they have candy I'm guessing? If it's a calendar, then I'm safe to assume it's like a count-down to Christmas day?)

[beneathsilverstars]

okay you mentjoned the precanon sifdile again that reminded me last tine you mentiined that i had a ton of thoughts its!!!!!!! like it literally could have happened. and siffrin doesnt remember. and odile either doesnt remember or is just like oh haha funny coicidence if they bring it up we can talk about it otherwise ill assume they just wanna act like it didnt happen. and it drvies me insane . like to become so different as to meet again later and potentianlly not recognize eachother to look at all these small things they do and wonder if the other used to do them or if its new habits or if you just didnt get a chance to see that its so. so.

yeah 😭😭😭😭 siffrin is so distinctive that i think odile would definitely remember him, but ofc she wouldn’t say anything about it! if sif wants to act like they’ve never met she’s fine with playing along, it’s not like she’d exactly want an emotional conversation about it either.

but then as she gets to know them more it’s like wait… they might just genuinely not remember…. but at that point it’s like. kinda too late to bring it up? and it would just make things awkward anyway?? but also now the pretending they’d never met feels disingenuous, it’s not fair that she learned things about them during their first meeting that they wouldn’t have chosen to share with her now, while they don’t even remember that they’ve met her!!

ofc my ideal daydream pre-pre-canon sifdile scenario is that they just keep traveling together “haha funny coincidence i was heading that way too” style and eventually join up with mirabelle and isabeau as a pair. but having basically a one night stand (except platonic except not platonic) and then running into each other half a year later is soo juicy

[navree]

What’s your biggest issue with the writing for HOTD? Is there any storyline or plot point that really weighed the rest of the writing down?

I really didn’t like the reconciliation PLUS the prophecy. I thought it under-minded 1) Alicent’s totally legit fear and terror (even if Rhaenyra is accepted as queen, no way would the rest of Westeros accept her sons - the future heirs - given their illegitimacy, not while Aegon and his siblings live.)

2) it also messed with Aegon’s arc imo. I know they’re not following the book to a t but what is his arc if not a reluctant king who took the crown not because of a prophecy, but because he wants to protect his family? That’s his tragedy, the family tragedy.

3) sometimes it feels like they’re writing from the end to beginning, so they make characters do things that don’t make sense. Why is Otto planning on killing Rhaenyra right off the bat? I’m sure he doesn’t particularly like her but his problem was never really with Rhaenyra. They have tradition on their side, Rhaenyra’s children’s illegitimacy that points to treason, and most importantly Daemon. Nobody wanted him near the throne that’s why Rhaenyra was named heir. Killing her is just asking for Daemon to retaliate. Otto’s not dumb.

And then, like you mentioned, Cole’s writing.

My biggest issue with the writing of the show overall is that, as I've mentioned previously, the writing is incredibly inconsistent. There are times when it does not feel like the writers are on the same page, especially when it comes to character traits and motivations, and that whoever is meant to be in control just isn't, and can't stop writers from doing their own thing episode to episode. This is largely because, again as mentioned, the writer's room for HOTD is sooooooo much larger than GOT's, and that's a detriment. For context, here is a list of every "written by" credit for Game of Thrones season 1:

As you can see, it's D&D, D&D, more D&D, Bryan for one episode and Martin for another (makes sense, he's the creator), and then more D&D. To contrast that, here is a list of every "written by" credit for House of the Dragon season 1:

Here, Ryan wrote the first two, then it goes off the rails with a veritable cavalcade of writers before Ryan writes the last episode. And that means writers are just doing their own thing and it's very jarring as a viewer when things just do not stay consistent in terms of who a character is and what they want from one episode to the next. Eileen Shim clearly doesn't like Aegon as a character and chose to introduce him in a very bad way. In the next episode, Sara Hess likes Aegon a lot more and wants his family to love him more too (and said smth remarkably stupid about how aegon's assault on dyana was analogous to a college kid being wasted and not understanding the concept of "absence of no is not a yes" which???? ma'am what????? but i digress). So that's the big overarching issue for me, and it was something I literally guessed at because it just felt so messy and then lo and behold, I was write, large writer's room.

In terms of specific storylines and plots, the prophecy tie-in is my nemesis when it comes to this show. I think it's just dumb in general, and part of a small pattern of dumb generic shit this show does (the White Hart is my other nemesis but that's not a plot that's just a stupid scene), but the one thing I hate is that it makes no sense. For one, there is zero connection between the Dance and the eventual invasion of The Others and the Battle for the Dawn we're going to see eventually and already have seen in GOT, and it makes no sense to try and connect the two at all when they are not going to come into play in any pivotal manner. For two, in case the writers forgot, this is a prequel to Game of Thrones. That's the reason why you're reusing key images and designs and sets and whatnot, because it's the same universe. And you know what? In that universe, the prophecy is meaningless! A Targaryen was not seated upon the Iron Throne! No prophecy mattered at all what mattered is that some random chick learned the pole vault and had a fancy knife (which somehow got from the Targaryen kings' weapons room to the hands of a man from a very very minor House? The prophecy isn't even a good tie-in because of how badly GOT fucked everything up.

And more importantly, it's just a dumb choice. Game of Thrones ended badly. It ended really really badly and everyone hated it and D&D are virtually unemployable and all their projects got cancelled including the racist ones and I don't even know if they've done any public appearances since it ended and GOT and all subsequent fandom and discussion vanished from the Earth because of how put off everyone was and it became immediately irrelevant and synonymous with a show that crashes and burns to the point where Lost or The Walking Dead or whatever looks like genius storytelling by comparison. That makes HOTD a show that needs to succeed in spite of its originator show, not because of it. It needs to make us all forget how godawful GOT was and remember what it was like when we enjoyed it and get that feeling back (probably why they reused the theme, which I'm less mad about than other people cuz franchises do that all the time, Star Wars is built on it). And they're making it a lot harder on themselves if they keep reminding us of stuff that only became relevant to the show when the show was already speedrolling downhill and just about to crash and burn. It's dumb. It's so dumb. It's not so dumb it's brilliant, it's just dumb.

I also have a some of issues with what they did with Aegon, and as you said anon I think I also would have preferred if they'd hewed closer to the book in the idea that Aegon didn't want to be king (still have him be vehemently against it and try to run and all that), but that he eventually agreed to take it when reminded that he has trueborn Targaryen children, Targaryen sons, and they won't be safe so long as Rhaenyra's on the throne with her bastards next in line. I'm more fine with the rapprochement between Rhaenyra and Alicent than some because a) hashtag rhaenicent and b) relationships aren't linear, and I think it's good drama. I like the idea that these two have spent sixteen years just in this cold war and being really petty and thinking low of the other, but there's this one moment after a while where maybe...just maybe...it could work out the way it might have before...And then it all comes crashing down (plus it's be good character work for Rhaenyra if they choose to develop it, leaving Alicent thinking that she's warming up and things might be okay and maybe they'll get some form of friendship back and then the next she hears Alicent stole the throne from her and put her son on it and then kept people locked up until they acceded to her demands to bend the knee only for Aegon and fight for Aegon and not her, @ HBO my hourly rate is like a penny I'm available!!).

Other things are smaller, and more along the lines of things that I personally would like to have seen or changed due to my own preferences and what I happen to enjoy (would developing daemon and laena's romance more have added anything or been necessary or useful in any way? no but i like them so i wanted more of them). But in terms of the big things, it's mostly just the prophecy plotline that I really hate, with some gripes about some of the things they did with Aegon. But hopefully someone scales down the writer's room and the big things are less of an issue.

[pvpcivilization]

ok im going to bed bc its late as hell here but i wanted to doodle parkciv finally

[moeblob]

son boy raccoon trash can man suffering in a dnd au as a cleric bc his warlock will not stop committing murders and he has to keep coming up with reasons murder is valid to convince the gm its fine and under control

[nananarc]

Ashtray . 2023

(Yeah no don't worry she's a 120kg cyborg that can crush his skull with a squeeze of her hands if she wants)

PopArt Colorful Alt Versions on my Patreon:

[smile-files]

the alliance........ from left to right: baseball, suitcase, nickel, and balloon!

(i was trying to find a way to represent balloon's name and i came upon a lucky medium: given how he was a jerk in ii1 and nickel continued to see him as such, i imagine he'd just call him "bully" from then on, even after they became friends -- and it sounds like the word "balloon", no?)

[br1ghtestlight]

fabtube might not be the ii relationship im most invested in (except episode 14 the writing for them in that episode was PHENOMENAL) but when fan was rambling about his theories and then realized he was about to be deleted. and just 100% immediately accepts his fate. he looks so calm and sad and at peace and he says "....see you test tube" knowing that the only thing he wanted in the afterlife was test tube. his best friend since day one the person who understands him more than anyone else in the world and that relationship was something they actively chose. that shit was SO SAD genuinely one of the saddest scenes in the entire finale for me. Why'd he say it like that

[dailykugisaki]

Day 158 | id in alt

The hater streak returns, your honor.

[theladyfae]

i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶

[wizardnuke]

i love dnd..i love playing heavy utility/support/backfield and i love having three to six attacks in a turn and an insane ac. at heart im a support player ill get my hands on whatever we're missing in a group

[quietwingsinthesky]

like not to turn into a rhack blog for a minute (holy shit this game came out in 2014, does anyone even still ship these two) but. Extremely gay for a guy to try and take over your body, trap you in the crashing space station you’ve sentenced him to die in, insert himself back into your skull just for a chance to choke you out even if it means killing himself in the process, and then get on his knees begging you not to kill him again.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

also like. on the topic of pokemon development. wild as fuck changes and incredibly hectic and stressful changes to the game creating a chaotic and messy dev cycle is like, the furthest thing from new in the franchise. the thing is- gold and silver were like, delayed. they were allowed time to actually fucking finish the game, because if you look at the leaked builds the game would Not be finished at it’s planned release date. like, even more than stuff like scarlet and violet. the 1997 demos are. i mean one really cool and i am sad some of the pokemon did not make it in rip my boy koonya i hope his design is recycled for a psychic type regional Meowth form or something. but it also shows how sometimes game development can be hard as shit and drastic changes happen way more than we could ever realise. and i think if you look into gold and silvers development it makes what’s happening with the modern games a lot more understandable. these are complex games with a lot of finicky design decisions that likely have to have drastic changes done if something doesn’t work out but unlike with gold and silver they couldn’t just delay the game for two years anymore. bc they’re not “just” one of the hottest nintendo properties they are literally factually the top dog franchise in the world that rakes in so much and is so pivotal stuff like gold and silvers delays just… can’t happen anymore.

[pynkhues]

https://www.tumblr.com/pynkhues/769063810095087616/im-curious-about-your-thoughts-on-something-i?source=share

Okay this whole post just blew my mind

Ahaha, I hope in a good way!