#yeah i love cosmo he’s awesome

[knowone08b]

fun fact too Cosmo Sheldrake is also the same guy who made this song too!

when i was reading the book entangled life which is about fungi and the author merlin sheldrake said that once he got his first author copies he was going to dampen the pages and use them to grow oyster mushrooms and yeast and then use the yeast to brew beer and then drink the beer with the mushrooms to complete the cycle of fungal knowledge. i was like really and truly this guy gets it

[phantombunnyman]

TELL ME MORE ABT UR OC X CANON…….. feels like perirep only exists cuz theres no one else to mash peris face into I NEED MORE PPL LIKE U

THANKS FOR ASKING I’VE NEVER BEEN ASKED BY A STRANGER BEFORE 😈😈

I’ve been doing oc x canon for a LONG time (literally since preschool) but I soon realized I had too many ocs so at one point I just scrapped them all and made an oc I could just insert into any universe, thus Ariél was born !

He has his own story and lore but it kinda has to chang depending on what franchise I stick him into. Basically the one thing that stays consistent is that he’s goth.

In the FOP universe, he lived with his siblings until he started his job training. He and Peri met as roommates when they started, having moved out around the same time. (I love a good “oh my god they were roommates” couple).

Ari is a matchmaker working for cupid, which weirdly had a shorter training period so he got his liscense pretty quick, and he supported Peri the whole way to his godparenting liscense. This made Peri all “oh my gosh this guy is so kind I kinda want to be with him forever” and Ari was all “oh my gosh this guy is so dedicated and passionate I kinda want to be with him forever” but they never really confronted those feelings, they had other things to worry about.

At one point they were basically together already, but they were deep in denial. Like yeah, we kiss and hold hands and sleep together and share clothes and know everything about eachother, but we’re not BOYFRIENDS, what makes you say that? But it’s fine, they get over it eventually and just slap a label on.

When Cosmo and Wanda recconnect with Peri, they love Ari, they think he’s awesome. Like, they’re excited just to see their son, they’re ecstatic to see their son’s boyfriend. Ari’s siblings aren’t as involved with his life anymore, but once they find out about Peri they’re very approving.

they listen to ABBA and Chappel Roan together and “their songs” are Come On Eileen and Uptown Girl

The main thing is they’re silly guys that are in love and they’ve consumed most of my brain :33

[crazyringo]

Okay. Since I've started playing HSR, I hardly surfed Tumblr for any theories. Mostly started doing so 2.0 onwards, and most of them are pretty interesting reads. However, one theory for 2.3 has me lukewarm since it first started... And that's Sunday potentially becoming a Stellaron Hunter.

While interesting in theory, I honestly don't really see it happening. Yes, Elio is indeed striving towards the Script that displays a better future for everyone. And yeah, okay, Sunday wanted to ensure everyone's happiness within the dreamscape and with this line of thinking we can assume he'd want to ensure the best possible future for everyone being a Stellaron Hunter. And while we can all agree that he's a misguided good boy with good intentions, I still don't see him joining the group.

Here's why (my opinion): He'd be leaving Robin behind.

His beloved sister who, despite his betrayal (and by that I mean being the cause for Robin's singing voice), still hugged and forgive him for his mistakes. Despite the fact that he had failed to achieve his goal, he was still loved by the one person he cared for most. I honestly don't see him leaving her behind...

And if he did join the Stellaron Hunters, who by the way are considered to be dangerous criminals/terrorists among other things by the IPC and the rest of the cosmos, it'd be damning for Robin's career as a renowned songstress since she's related to Sunday, who's a family head and most likely a well-known authoritative figure outside of Penacony. I wouldn't be surprised if Robin had mentioned his name every so often whenever she did her thank you speeches in interviews on radio and/or TV

Moreover, before his boss fight, he did say that he wanted a fair fight with the Trailblazer. He wanted to see whose ideal was stronger. Clearly, it was the Trailblazer's. Personally, I see Sunday being a man of his word. He's confident, righteous, and very clever for his age. I don't see him being a sore loser. And since Robin forgave him, I'd like to think that he would no longer push himself as hard as he did before. For me, Robin's hug tells Sunday he's no longer alone. That no matter what happens next with the Family they will still have each other to rely on. I really adore/admire their bond as siblings and the theory of Sunday potentially becoming a Stellaron Hunter kind of saddens me if they're going to be apart

Now, if Hoyoverse DOES go through with this theory... Fine. I will accept it for what it is, but they better do a damn good job of it narrative wise. And if he doesn't, that will be great for me because the Halovian siblings will be together.

Not to mention, story wise, Firefly has mentioned more than once that the reason why she's in Penacony is to guide the Astral Express to the truth of what's going on. There was no mention of potential recruitment concerning her Script. Who knows? That might possibly change in 2.3, but with everything else going on story wise with Sparkle, the IPC, and the Family I highly doubt it's going to happen.

Don't get me wrong. I love Sunday's character, and I'm sure that he'd be a great asset to the Stellaron Hunters if he becomes one. I just don't see it. If anything, I'd rather have him be a new member in the Astral Express. Robin could be calm and pretty much be free of worries if her brother is surrounded by people she can trust. And they could communicate on the phone and write letters to each other when they have the time/arrive at a new planet. She'd be worried sick if Sunday was with the Stellaron Hunters, and of course if that were to happen there's hardly going to be any communication between them. I'd like our chicken wing siblings to be in a safe environment, thank you! 😤

Overall, the Penacony storyline has been awesome. Though, admittedly, I was kind of disappointed on the lack of Silver Wolf. Was hoping to see more screen time with her since she's paired up with Firefly for this assignment but~ nope! Our Wolfie, yet again, works from the sidelines. Other than that minor complaint, it's definitely been an emotional rollercoaster for me as I played through the story. And while I am excited for 2.3, I am also apprehensive about it...

Something deep down in my gut tells me that we're going to lose someone in the finale. And if not our precious Firefly, then it's going to be our good boy Sunday.

I really don't have much thoughts for Firefly aside from I obviously don't want her to die, so I can't speak much there. For Sunday, on the other hand, I can. I am scared for this boy. Fear has gripped my heart the moment I heard his voice line on that clue we find on the Grand Theater.

Sunday. Is. Scared.

Since the moment he's been introduced, he's been nothing but cool, calm, and collected. Now, this poor boy is scared. Considering he had failed miserably on what the Family had been planning for years, I would not be surprised if they throw the poor boy to the wolves. The wolves being the IPC. Since Jade is now in Penacony... I predict that this will not end well.

Aside from attempting to reclaim Penacony for the IPC, I wouldn't be surprised if Jade mentions about Aventurine's mistreatment during his stay with one of the Family heads to get a word in edge wise. To which, they would simply say, "We know. He's no longer one of us. Do as you see fit." Giving Sunday over to the IPC in exchange for Penacony's independence in the name of "Harmony" so that said "Harmony" would be restored on both sides. If that line of thought more or less happens on 2.3, I sincerely hope that the Astral Express will be able to save him before it's too late. That, or maybe the Family will use Sunday as collateral and force Robin to cooperate with their plan B to ensure Sunday's safety (I really hope not)

Something also tells me that we as the Trailblazer are going to be forced to make a very, very difficult choice for 2.3... As in, one or the other kind of scenario. And, of course, there's only ONE right answer in said choice and I really hate those...! *Glares at Black Swan, who forces you to hear out Aventurine's truth, despite me not trusting him (still don't tbh. I'd rather trust Sampo, and that's also bad lol)*

But yeah, those are my current thoughts as of now. Might be wrong on some things, but I at the very least wanted to put my thoughts out there before 2.3 arrives. I'm looking forward to the next update, and I definitely can't wait to bring my darling Firefly home! I'll finally have a full Stellaron Hunter team~! Jade, too. Me love evil gorgeous lady! 💕

Good luck on your pulls everyone~!

[ojamayellow]

Earthspark spoilers. It's time for my opinions and theories.

Before I start, I am aware of the writers changing. I will put that into consideration in this. And for the record, I did enjoy Season 2 so far, but I admit it has nothing on S1 for now.

First two episodes were really good, I loved the Breakdad moments, I love Aftermath and we get a glimpse on how the Decepticons have been operating. 2nd episode with the Quintesson gave us some lore and suspense, and I always love a Mo and Thrash tag team. These episodes felt... right for Earthspark, but not as Season 2 starters? If that makes sense.

Hashtag's alt mode is neat, but I miss her chunkiness in robot mode. Made her feel more distinct you know? But I'm with the others saying VAL being an AI in Hashtag's mind is really weird considering what Mandroid did. Maybe she's coping? I have a theory that this VAL might be manipulated in a future episode to control Hashtag, but for the sake of Hashtag's well-being, I HOPE this doesn't happen. (Also, hi Shockwave).

Carnival episode. Is Schloder reduced to an incidental now? I hope not and that he becomes important as well. But also, I figure its a traveling carnival/circus, which makes sense to why we haven't seen this Fairemaestro before, and the little interaction with Swindle shows up 'oh yeah he's a bad guy' already. But you can't just tease a GIANT COSMOS-LOOKING RIDE AND THEN 'OH BTW ITS COSMOS' LAST FEW MINUTES. If Cosmos doesn't show up in later episodes I'll be so disappointed, like...it's freakin' Cosmos! <-Perfect design though. *chef kiss*

I do think the Robby crush on Izzy was cute, but it being involved with the plot felt....eh? It was like, nothingburger to me.

JBAM episode. I LOVED THEM. Jawbreaker has clearly gotten more comfortable with himself and such since Grimlock, but him not taking a hint from Aftermath (who was being direct) reminds me of my younger self. <-Was an insane chatterbox and would not shut up no matter what was said to me.

But the contaminated energon stuff like, yeah callback to that weird bear. Sorry if I forgot, but back in S1, was there a reason GHOST was just leaving it around? I don't remember. And what's with the horrific energon mushrooms, and those poor animals? I know people who are going to be turned off from this show just from that alone, but at least it's 'off screen'? But also Aftermath betraying Jawbreaker hurts, I was hoping he'd like, impress Breakdown with the stolen water BUT NOPE, NO MORE AFTERMATH AND BREAKDAD STUFF. (I know Aftermath was like, not 'what did you just call me' when he was called Son but, cmon!!)

Spitfire episode. I personally think this episode went hard. Gave me Sonic VS Metal Sonic vibes. The fight scenes were really done well, and the tension was so good! To me, Spitfire wanted to be superior but felt inferior when not chosen for the mission, so that desire to be the best consumed her. I'm personally a big fan of this episode, and Alex is awesome. And so was Spitfire, I'm kinda obsessed with her.

Bodyswap episode. Always love a good bodyswap scenario, but somehow this felt... weak. It's plausible for the others to believe Spitfire (as Twitch) had a scrambled processor from the previous episode BUT the fact Wheeljack was the first to catch on? Before a Malto? I'm SO GLAD they referred to Dad2 again but, IDK, feels... strange to me.

Trailer episode. Was kinda nothingburger again? It felt like they needed to add SOMETHING before the horrors of the final two episodes, but maybe I just need to re-watch it because I didn't feel much from it. Optimus was clearly getting aggravated and uncomfortable, which was making me uncomfortable. But also, OPLITA? COMPLICATED? If they don't ever bring this up again I might be a bit...bitter.

And finally, the Witwicky 2-Parter. My anxiety was through the roof here, but I also kinda figured it out early that a Titan was involved. Was still surprised though, and her design is awesome?! But what was making me panic more than anything was Hashtag was going to see Starscream. Yes I know, a one-episode bond may not mean much, but we all had hopes, yeah? Anyway, I love nasty bitch Starscream. It's what makes him Starscream. And I do think what he did was in-character. But it would feel off if Earthspark was someone's introduction to Starscream, you know? This specific one, who's attitude told the audience 'I hate Megatron he abused me so I'd be a better leader than him'. But also...

The scene with him killing the Chaos Terrans was a fucking horror movie. It does a lot when I am SCARED OF STARSCREAM. I wish he didn't do it, but he also needed the shards. If the Autobots/Maltos needed the shards from the Terrans, how would they do it? Would they hesitate to find a safer way to keep the Chaos Terrans alive? Or would there be some sort of urgency? It really makes me think, but Starscream wanted those shards ASAP, he does what he need to do to get what he wants, he's Starscream. A manipulative, traitorous bitch who almost never gets his way in the end.

But you might be wondering, "Kit did you feel like the character development was thrown away for Starscream?" Well, yes and no.

It's really upsetting how Starscream twisted his advice to Hashtag. Truly upsetting. But it also does feel like something a Starscream would do. I keep flip-flopping between "yeah this makes sense" and "um what the FUCK writers". See what I mean by "yes and no?" And Hashtag calling Starscream worse than Megatron AND Screamer taking it as a compliment? Again, very Starscream thing to do, but I think ES! Starscream should've been at least a bit offended?! And out of all bots to call him the worst... Why did it have to be Hashtag? I guess it has more 'meaning', but still...

My theory (or moreso, hopeful thinking) is that Starscream re-invented his advice to Hashtag so he could get detached from her. Starscream had a mission, a personal selfish goal, and he needed to take care of HIMSELF, no friendship. Only comrades willing to follow him, and the Maltos were not those comrades.

My other theory (which I gained from seeing someone on twitter saying this) is that the Chaos Terrans DIDN'T GREY OUT FROM DEATH. Therefore, there is a chance they can return. Maybe something from the Allspark or Matrix or some kinda macguffin will help?! And I sure hope they come back, because they could learn to be good (but still cheeky) and we can bring back the messages and theming from Season 1! Right, right?

As for 'Starscream the child killer'...look, it's upsetting I know. But like I said, selfish goals. And while I am not familiar with every Starscream from different canons, I've met enough versions. Other Starscreams have have committed war crimes, blew up a human hospital, threatened to kill innocents, committed war crimes, wanted to kill everyone to end a war, squished humans in his servos... (yes I know Skybound is more for an adult audience than kids but I'm just saying). War crimes. I am not excusing Starscream's actions here, but when he needs something, he'll do what it takes to get it, for his own selfish goals. It makes sense but I also feel its wrong and I agree with other fans who were quite upset with this scenario. If the Chaos Terrans don't come back I'll be really sad.

Again, I've considered the fact this show has new writers, which is unfortunate. I saw someone on here say that Season 2 (so far) feels like a bootlegged version of S1, which is how I feel about it. I did enjoy the episodes, but they were a bit messy. Also, the lack of Nightshade and honorary family member Bumblebee really made me sad. Was it a script decision, or could they not afford Danny Pudi enough because they used the money on the new cast like Flea? (Don't quote me on like, celebrity net worth here). The lack of Nightshade though is very suspicious though, considering how big of a deal it was for them to exist as a non-binary character.

Side note, Shockwave. I'm glad he finds Cybertron itself more important than creating a New Cybertron, it feels right for him to not care about Earth. But if he going to attempt to lead now? Or something?

If you read this, thanks! If you have any responses feel free to reply or reblog. Feel free to reblog in general, I love hearing opinions and such.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Reki and Langa finding out their s/o's family is famous? (Mom's a pianist, dad's a painter, older sister's a jewelry maker, etc.)

Reki + Langa + Reader - a star among the cosmos

“Is that a Grammy?? And an Oscar!?!” Reki asked excitedly as he looked at your mantel.

“Yeah. The Grammy was for one of her first albums. The rest of them are in storage. The Oscar is for some US movie she helped write the soundtrack for a few years ago.”

“Your dad has a doctorate in art studies?”

“It’s honorary.” [Y/N] told Langa. “We was awarded it from Oxford after some installation he did for their campus.”

“Isn’t your sister in London for some expo?” Reki asked, stepping away from the awards to focus on some other marker of achievement on the wall.

“Yes. To showcase her new jewelry line.” [Y/N] sit down on the couch and wait for them to be done.

“Wow. It must be so amazing to have such famous people in your family.”

“Yeah….it’s great….”

The boys stop their perusing and turn to [Y/N]. Who looked sullen for a moment before they sat up straight again. “Don’t look at me like that. It is great. I love my family. And they love me. They’re all great but sometimes they’re….too great.” Reki & Langa don’t seem to understand. So [Y/N] explained further. “It’s hard being in family were everyone is so successful. And I’m just…average.”

They seem to get it now and jump into action. “You’re not average [Y/N]!” Reki exclaimed. “You’re an awesome skater!”

“I’m above average at that.” They told him. “I’m no where near as good as Cherry or Adam.”

“Well, yeah. Cherry ‘s a lot older, so he’s had more practice. Adam is just…crazy.”

“You’re also really smart.” Langa chimed in.

“I’m average smart.” As and Bs, some Cs. Not advanced placements or classes. Just regular ones that they did pretty well in. Nothing like their sister. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a downer. It’s just…hard to be a regular person in a house full of overachievers. I’m not amazing like them.”

“You’re pretty amazing to us.”

[Y/N] looked up at Langa, who was looking at you seriously. Reki beside him with also an eager disposition to agree.

It felt warm. Comforting. Again, your family was very accepting and supportive of you. This wasn’t some teen movie where they cast out the ‘under achiever’. They treated you as an equal. But being treated as an equal and being an equal were different things.

“Thanks guys. I appreciate it.”

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Reki suddenly said. “Your house is cool, but I don’t want to waste a nice day like this indoors. Let’s go skate!”

He was already pulling [Y/N] up from the couch and towards the door. Langa in toe. [Y/N] thought that they might not be great at everything like their family, but at least they had great friends.

[alanaartdream]

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After reading the Danny Phantom a glitch in time I was in the mood to try to sketch Danny with his Friends Tucker and Sam

And then being as yeah Sam and Tucker did get to join Danny in the nicktoons unite game (heck you can play as Sam in the 2nd game witch is the island game as well as in the toy bots one that came after that ) so they did meet Timmy Turner so had to draw that in

And then had to draw my Fairy Timmy with the nicktoons talking with Sam being as he has met them in the games

Now for years I’ve seen maybe 1-2 artists keep the nicktoons unite fandom alive but most of the time the focus was only on the 1st game not on the other 3 in the series so didn’t see and Sam or Tucker getting added into the lineup (witch is a crying shame because Sam was quite awesome in the games; you could even play as her in at least 2 of the games (not sure about the globs of doom one where they took Timmy Turner out and had invader zim & dib as well as some villains join the team in that one; but then Timmy could and would’ve wished them out of trouble like he does for Jimmy Timmy power hour episodes so the game development team must of not wanting to deal with that tricky story plot )

Like now they’re adding in Jenny XJ9 from my teenage robot life and El Tigre tiger boy but forget to add in Sam and Tucker???

Heck Sammy squirrel; Patrick Sat and Squidward were apart of the Nicktoons unite team up for a lot of the games (also didn’t help that nicktoons started to focus more on SpongeBob Square pants more by the last of the games)

Think you could play as Sammy squirrel in the games too

But then maybe their version of nicktoons unite games aus they like to make Danny have darker life or less supportive friends/ family so maybe that’s why they don’t add them but are adding in Jenny Xj9 and tiger boy before adding in any of Danny’s friends and SpongeBob’s friends or they didn’t know the others games?

Enithr way the games have a order to them apparently (I didn’t know what the order was until some YouTube/ google searches later)

So probably just lack of information as to why it’s this way (( I mean I don’t wanna stop people having their own takes on things I love when people are creative and do their own things))

Just seems odd to not add the other characters that made it into the team or how tragic they make Danny’s life seem in their aus when honestly Danny got a very good supporting network of friends/ family & allies who helps him deal with ghosts and being half ghost (in fact he’s a bit of a adorable dork not really something I’d say is depressing gloomy or something tragic in their life)

Making me think they mixed Timmy turner’s tragic life story with Danny’s being as Danny’s the ghost boy with ghost powers they want to make him tragic when really Timmy’s one with only Wanda Cosmo poof/peri and Fairy world to help him deal with his crazy dumb neglectful parents who forget to feed him and leave him with a abusing awful babysitter; don’t really care to teach him anything and don’t care he’s dealing with awful bullies and a crazy teacher who just wants to fail him all the time to get at his fairies AND he’s only 10 years old and has to deal with all of that without any support whatsoever (if he didn’t have fairies/wanda Cosmo & poof) he’d be a dead ghost child Danny & his friends might’ve had to deal with honestly

Heck because they both been created by butch jerkman the creator once said he was planning on making them cousins (like distant cousins) at one point but gave up on the idea witch probably explains why they do look a little alike

So like Danny has a lot to deal with with the ghost and his own school bullies but his family & friends love and support him

Heck like Jimmy Danny with help of his friend Tucker & Sam after all the ghosts they’re dealing with and how emotion is a driving force for ghosts in his world would pick up Timmy only acts snarky/ sassy to protect himself and is honestly a pretty good kid his life back in his world is pretty bad any nicktoons character who’s life might be a little like Timmy’s is maybe Dib’s from invader Zim but the movie changed how Dib’s father is like (if you’d seen the invader Zim’s cartoon show boy dib has some pretty dark moments and thankfully the show doesn’t gloss over those dark moments like fairly odd parents original show use to like to do )

I mean probably overthinking things here it’s just my opinion after looking into things more and enjoying the shows and stuff

Because lately where I use to love how those artist been keeping nicktoons unite fandom going for such a long time; it’s as I go back and enjoy Danny phantom/ fairly odd parents and the nicktoons unite games that it feels like the characterising of these characters feels a bit off now

It’s still good just something is missing or don’t match up

[suckitsurveys]

What type of milk do you like to drink? I don’t typically like to drink milk on it’s own but sometimes if we buy milk for cooking (usually whole) I will drink it with something chocolatey or a PB&J so it doesn’t go to waste. I will typically use oat or coconut milk in coffees though.

Do you have a first aid kit at home? Not really a “kit” but we have most of the components that would go in one in our cabinets.

What’s the absolute bare minimum in terms of facilities when you’re camping? I need at least a somewhat comfy place to sleep and some electricity and somewhere to go to the bathroom.

How many places have you lived in your life? I’ve always lived in Chicago.

Are your parents dog or cat people? Is that different or the same as you? My mom was an animal lover in general and my dad was the stereotypical “get these damn animals out of my house” but then ended up loving them kind of dad. He was more-so that way with our dog Cosmo my mom brought home when I was 17. He was a shih tzu and my dad called him a little rat but then they became best friends and when Cosmo passed my dad bawled like a baby. He’s been talking about getting another dog but is afraid to commit to it because it’s been getting a little harder for him to walk.

What’s your favourite flavour of potato chip? Potato? Kettle cooked jalapeno. Chips in general? Salsa Verde Doritos.

What’s the longest your hair has ever been? How long is it now? Mid-back. It’s just a little shorter than that right now.

What video games remind you of your childhood? Super Smash Bros.

What does your body wash or soap smell like? It’s like ocean scented or some shit.

Are there are sounds that bother you on a visceral level? Metal scraping against metal sends me into a rage.

What was the last thing you bought online? I just ordered a new bra.

Name something you always have in your fridge. Water.

Have you ever had to hire a lawyer? Why? Nope.

Have you taken a walk today? Did you see any dogs? Nope.

What vegetable do you really hate? Are water chestnuts a veggie?

Does your family have any traditions or rituals? Oh yeah, mostly centered around holidays and birthdays, of course.

If you could learn any language, what would it be? Spanish.

What was the best thing that happened today? Something that seems minor can still be awesome. They just posted a “first look” at the new Saturday Night movie.

Have you ever donated money to a charity? Which one? A bunch to the ASPCA and I have a monthly automatic donation to a charity for abortion rights.

Did you have a large circle of friends in high school? No.

Would you ever get a matching tattoo with someone? I have 5 tattoos that match with other people: heart shaped sunglasses with Ellen, a tree with some red birds on it with my sister, and Snoopy, BoJack, and Brendon from Home Movies with Sarah.

What time do you usually go to sleep? 10pm-11pm on work nights.

Do you have a job? Yes.

What colour are the plates in your kitchen? They black and white.

What was the last gift you received? Ellen sent me a Kuchi Kopi (Bob’s Burgers) cookie jar for my kitchen but for some reason it didn’t come with a lid.

What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Snake.

Are you inside right now? If you’re home, what room of the house are you in? I’m inside at my job.

Are you good at remembering faces? Yes but bad at names.

What will you do after this survey? Maybe another. I’ve been on a kick lately because I’ve been locking myself out of social media during the day so now I’ve been distracting myself with this instead of working hahahahahahah.

[inamindfarfaraway]

The Collector's Theme Song Takeover

[Inspired by these videos. Watch them to get context, a feel for the rhythm, and because they’re good! Takes place during “For the Future”.]

Collector: King! King! I thought of a new fun thing to do now that I’m free!

King: What’s that?

Collector: Well, when I was stuck with that meanie Belos, I heard him do a theme song takeover.

King: I’m sorry, what? The theme song doesn’t even have lyrics.

Collector: I know. He rapped to the tune. It was so weird.

King: Belos… rapping. (shudders) Oh Titan.

Collector: (giggles) You’re a Titan, remember? Anyway, it was surprisingly good, so since I’ve taken over the Boiling Isles I think I should do my own theme song takeover, about my story. I am the main character of this game, after all.

King: Right. Go for it, BFF.

Collector: As a child of the cosmos, nothing’s out of reach for me but freedom

I have so many awesome gifts I offer up to those who need ‘em

‘Cause that way we get to play together and I love to make new friends

But then they always leave me once my side of the deal ends

King: (genuinely impressed) Wow, that was cool. I didn’t know you could rap.

Collector: I can literally do anything. Listen to these lines - they’re even faster than I stopped the draining spell!

Phillip pinky swore and turned just like that

You can’t say he didn’t deserve to go splat

Good thing I met King and our bond’s set in stone

‘Cause nothing stinks harder than being alone

Now we’re gonna have a ton of fun

Playing Owl House forever with everyone

I can create such spectacular things

Just remember who holds the puppet strings

King: (a little nervous) Haha, yeah. So what do you want to do now?

Collector: Where do I begin?

We’ll hang out in our crown palace, have tea with the Coven Heads

I’ll race you to the moon and back

King: Well, that one would make me dead

Collector: Then I’ll bring the moon down here for you, or draw us in the stars

Eat a rainbow topped with gravity, maybe even hold Francois (King: Eh...)

You must see the world was boring without my magic everywhere

And no saying you’re not playing, guys, you know that isn’t fair

All my old friends have been fibbers, but there’s no way King is the same!

Which is good, ‘cause if you break the rules, I have to change the game

[idyllic-affections]

Hello hello helloooo again, Aphe my good friend!

Tis' I, 🐉Anon!!!!

And I'm back again to scratch that HSR x Reader brainworm you've been afflicted with.

But first, I'd first like to congratulate you on bringing Imbibitor Lunae home! And I absolutely feel you on the sudden amassing of oc ideas (I may or may not have come up with a couple of whole ass planets of my own, one of which I've been working on writing up, but that is a tale for another time!)

Anyhow, I approach you tonight (in my timezone) with a brainrot appropriate for both my anonymous moniker, and the occasion at hand. That's right, this ask features the one and only... Cold Dragon Yooooooung! Not to be confused with Cold Dragon Younger or Cold Dragon Youngest

Imagine, the reader is a member of the Astral Express, among the younger members, let's say pre-teens to early teens, and they're a bit of a bookworm. And since Dan Heng has essentially turned the Archives into his room, he's finds himself often being visited by them, sometimes [Name] chats him up, sometimes they're just chilling their quietly as they read through the stories and files that the crew of the express have accumulated over the course of their journey. Perhaps [Name] takes a particular shine to the numerous tales of dragons from across the cosmos, including those of their progenitor, the deceased Aeon of the Permanence, Long. Perhaps over time, Dan Heng takes becomes something of a big brother to [Name] looking out for them, and always makes sure to bring back stories from the world the crew visits for them to look at when they return from missions. Imagine [Name] gazing upon Dan Heng's true form as their eyes light up like stars, and they can't help but go on a lengthy tangent about how absolutely awesome he looks, and how they bet he's so super strong in this form (which like... he is!)

Just a kiddo having an absolute hayday as they find out their big brother figure is a dragon-person!

HI BELOVED..... ahhhh ty!!!! as i told 🐱 anon, i love and adore him. he came home within the first 10 pull and i just think that was so real of him. so much realer than kafka. who never came home. smh. /lh AND YEAH hsr is so fascinating, really. it gives me many oc thoughts.

OHHH I LOVE THIS BRAINROT 🐉 anon must know me well.... i am a professional dan heng liker. also, to be fr with you all, i kind of already know what's up with dan heng LMAO the lore-reading instincts were too strong. dan heng il was sitting right there... what was i supposed to do, not listen to his voice lines and read what little i have unlocked in terms of his story? /lh so this brainrot is fine for me. i don't know everything but i do know enough to respond well to this brainrot, i think.

dan heng would be a good brother i think... blood really doesn't matter. what matters is that he formed a cute bond with this little nerd /aff who is always in the archives with him.

his little sibling will only be allowed to go on trailblaze missions when he feels that they're old and strong enough (even if himeko and mr yang are okay with letting [name] go, if dan heng isn't, then they are stuck on the express LMAO but i don't think they'd mind. they'd just chill in the archives and read while they wait). speaking of which, you know how dan heng has that very... martial art style of fighting? i think he teaches them how to fight properly because, you know, they'll need it. he's always very careful not to hurt them and offers them his quiet form of praise when they do well. AND MAYBE. when the trailblaze mission is concluded, and the astral express is still docked, he'll take them to whatever planet has been visited and will let them explore and observe that planet's unique properties. probably also takes them to a local bookshop. just dan heng having a cute outing with his bookworm little sibling once he knows it is safe to do so.

and ohhhhjshsjg hear me out. dan heng in his true form being so so protective of [name], moreso than he already was before (BECAUSE HEAR ME OUT: dragon instincts)... like. first trailblaze mission. [name]'s in danger. dan heng quietly picks them up, tells them not to look despite the fact that they aren't some naive little kid (to which they oblige, hiding their face in the junction between his neck and shoulder, a little embarrassed that they couldn't handle it themselves), supports their weight with one arm, and fucking WRECKS everything that posed a threat to their safety with the other hand.

AND CONSIDER wounded [name]...... dan heng being something of a hissy, overprotective older dragon brother and refusing to let anyone get too close to them until the other members of the astral express crew manage to talk him down (mostly himeko and welt i think...... march would make it worse unintentionally LMAOOO and stelle is. chaos. so. yeah), eventually managing to convince dan heng to hand over poor wounded [name] so that they can treat whatever wound they got. he's hovering over their shoulder the majority of the time anyway, though, and that's honestly probably really comforting. like yeah. maybe it's a little excessive. but he so blatantly cares a lot about their safety and i just think that would be so reassuring. him letting them squeeze his hand if it hurts too much........ i love playing around with nonhuman characters and how their more feral instincts manifest. dragon instinct dan heng.... cries he's so protective in my brain

but on an even cuter note--dan heng always picking up books and trinkets he thinks they would like while he's on trailblaze missions. he sees something and he's like.... wow.... [name] would like that....

and [name] rambling about how cool he looks and how strong he is *head in hands* PLEASEEE i think he'd be a bit embarrassed and maybe even a little uncomfortable but he knows they mean well.... and it grows on him. like. he starts to find it super cute and endearing :(((

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Hidden Oracle: Chapter 37 (SPOILERS)

"Percy leaped heroically from his mount and slipped in hellhound pee." Heroic entrance right here.

"Apollo, did you do this?" "I am offended! . . . I am only indirectly responsible for this!" I love their banter.

"I need a few more minutes to enchant this arrow." "Of course you do." Cut him some slack, he's still getting the hang of this whole hero thing.

"I had to admit Percy Jackson was moderately impressive." :/ ? Least reliable narrator I've ever seen.

"This time, the words came to me." Wait, so the plague chant actually isn't PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY? This is a massive disappointment. I don't think I'll recover. Also, that Styx punishment really didn't last long. The River's going soft.

"sneezed so hard he collapsed." Uh oh.

"FIE! TOO STRONG IS THY PLAGUE." FIE (exclamation): used to express disgust or outrage

"Kayla, be careful. Don't breathe--" "ACHOO!" Oh no.

"MOREO'ER, HIE!" I hate this fucking arrow. HIE (v.): go quickly

"Somehow, I managed to react appropriately. (Three cheers for reacting appropriately!)" I- Wins where you can take 'em, I suppose.

"you and Harley take Kayla and Austin to the Apollo cabin for healing." "But they are the Apollo cabin" VALID concern. Will's gonna be overworked again. Who's gonna heal everyone? Don't any campers other than the Apollo ones learn healing? People are dying left and right; you'd think other campers would learn medicine.

"Perhaps if we got some harpies and some kite string..." He's really desperate if he's suggesting that.

"I'm a stupid ugly mortal teenager! I'm nobody!" Is he throwing a tantrum? "I thought for sure . . . The cosmos would stop turning. Percy and Chiron would rush to reassure me. None of that happened . . . 'You're Apollo. We need you. You can do this. Besides, if you don't, I will personally throw you off the top of the Empire State Building.'" My friend compared this scene to the one in Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where the four turtles are about to be crushed to death in the Labyrinth maze and Leo[nardo Hamato, not -nidas Valdez], who is the only one who can get them out by making a portal, first pouts at them to ask for a self-esteem boost. Something like "Y'know, it would really help me out if you told me I'm your champion" because the whole point of the Labyrinth was to get to the center and become a "champion" and receive world-class pizza (that episode was freakishly reminiscent of how PJO characters often end up beating their villains of the week). Yes, my friend and I frequently miscommunicate which Leo we are talking about when we discuss fandom stuff.

"just the sort of thing Zeus used to say to me before my soccer matches." Yeesh, never a good thing to be compared to Zeus, but the throw-you-off-a-building threat was deserved. Also, I think Rhea might not be the only one mixing up their centuries.

"a monument to my own conceit. Nero's pride was no more than a reflection of mine." A character development moment! Yes!

"The demigods were getting very good at scattering." I bet they've had a lot of practice, what with all the attacks on their only safe haven over the years.

"a gust of wind caught it... perhaps Zephyros" Yeah!!! That's good. It would've been too hard to believe if Apollo made that shot naturally. A bit soon to call Zephyros awesome, though, since this is just making up for the murder he committed, but good on him for helping avoid the deaths of dozens of small children.

"like a pachinko machine." I know what you're all thinking: "What's the difference between pachinko and pinball?" That's what I'm here to answer. According to Google, pachinko is an upright, vertical version of pinball that uses multiple small balls as opposed to pinball's singular, larger ball.

"geysers of motor oil out his ears" NOOOO! Not the harbor! Oh man, the beach naiads are gonna be so sick after this. Do beach naiads exist? If not, the beach animals and plants are gonna be sick. This is the third geyser we've seen this book and by far the worst.

"a case of hay fever . . . the statue's head achieved first-stage separation from his body." Deadliest case of hay fever I've seen yet. Hey, if it works, it works.

"Then the air blooped out of its neck hole" Blooped was pretty far down on the list of verbs I expected to see in this book. Next time I'll be more open-minded and prepared for verbs of all variety.

[devilsrecreation]

Some thoughts on the Lion Guard cuz I’ve been watching clips of it again

Not to be dramatic or anything, but I would absolutely DIE over all the hyenas. Not just Janja or Jasiri, I mean ALL of the hyenas. Chungu, Cheezi, Nne, Tano, etc. Especially Tunu and Wema. They are my babies and I love them

And their designs are *chef’s kiss*

100% agree with the headcanon that Janja’s the son of Shenzi and Banzai and Cheezi is the son of Ed. As for Chungu…I like to think he just…appeared out of nowhere. Like baby Janja and baby Cheezi were playing and baby Chungu came out of nowhere and Janja was like “hi, yeah. You? You’re coming with us.”. Anyway, I like to think it’d be cool if Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed came back to the Outlands so they could tell the truth about what Scar did or something like that. I’d also love to see their reactions when they learn Simba has cubs now

Mzingo and his parliament absolutely raised Janja’s clan when their parents left to save themselves from Zira (as per a hc I saw about why they left). I love to think Shenzi went up to Mzingo and said something like “please watch over them. I don’t care how you do it, just make sure they’re all alive and he agreed

I just love Mzingo in general. Vultures are my favorite bird. Don’t get me wrong, Ono is great and all, but Mzingo is 👌👌👌👌👌

I know it’s been said before, but they did Ushari so dirty. Not trying to excuse him for giving Kion a scar, I’m just saying I get it. He got sick of being trampled on and disrespected and when he tries to get some by listening to Scar’s (most likely false) promises, he dies by falling in lava. They reformed all the other outlanders, why not Ushari? They could have had him see the error of his ways and go back to being neutral but noooooo. And he was one of my favorite characters too!

I think I have a whole new respect for reptiles now cuz what they did with all the crocodiles. Love the redemption arc with Makuu, love Kiburi and how he’s voiced by a rapper, and Pua’s basically the most chill croc I have ever seen. I wish we got more scenes with Pua cuz he’s awesome. I like to think he’s doing just fine though. He’s a tough croc.

Kiburi saying “I don’t sing” during the song “Run this dump” makes me wonder if he doesn’t want to or if he can’t sing…or maybe cuz he thinks he’s too cool. Having said that, I love to imagine that he prefers to rap and absolutely KILLS it. Honestly, I bet all crocodiles rap. Because how cool would a crocodile rap battle be?

Call me crazy but there is no way Ushari and Kiburi didn’t have something going on

Okay ya’ll hear me out…..what if Kenge, the rock monitor lizard, isn’t as bad as he seems? I’ve said before that there has to be some trauma like intense bullying that makes him the way he is, but he seems like the type to be super chill when you get on his good side. As long as you don’t say anything about his height, you’ll be fine. Respect him and he’ll respect you…unless he’s hungry.

Also hc that Ushari was Kenge’s only friend and he still thinks about him after he died. He was the only animal who ever understood him

I got more headcanons about him btw

As tough as all the reptiles are, there’s got to be a soft spot somewhere

The jackals have grown on me. I love the Cosmo and Wanda dynamic Rerei and Goigoi have. Also Dogo is cute enough to commit war crimes over

Not me trying to figure out what kind of scorpion Sumu is cuz he has a big stinger, but also big pincers. If I’m not mistaken, scorpions with big stingers and small pincers are more venemous than the ones with big pincers and small stingers. I think he’s a hybrid of some sort…or maybe it’s me overthinking idk. His voice is cool tho

The villains in the later seasons are okay, but you really gotta appreciate how accurate Ora (the komodo dragon) is. You know how dangerous and hostile komodos are in real life? They literally dig up human remains and eat them. If that’s not villain-worthy, I don’t know what is

I love Mama Binturong. She’s such a queen. Love the whole evil badass grandma/mob boss vibe going on

Is it me or is it weird that there are no African wild dog characters? I know there are a few paintings of them but not an actual character.

Because there’s a lot of animals who hate Bunga, it’d be funny if they all tried ganging up on Bunga for revenge while he’s on a date with Binga and it’s like

Binga: *seeing Kenge* Who’s that?

Bunga: …He doesn’t like me

Binga: *seeing Makucha’s crew* Who’s that?

Bunga: They don’t like me either

*Ushari’s ghost appears as the rest of Bunga’s enemies surround them*

Binga: Who’s that?!

Bunga: LET’S JUST ASSUME EVERYONE HERE DOESN’T LIKE ME-

[silver-wield]

Super really excited for FF7 Rebirth!! The trailer was so awesome!!! I think my favorite shot was Cloud and Tifa doing their back to back! Just more proof they’re a battle couple! The game will be in two discs so it will be even longer! Hope we get lots of Cloti moments! Looks like we’ll also get to play as Red and Yuffie will be joining the party. And they can do combo attacks! But the big moment of the trailer is the end. It looks like Sephiroth, my favorite video game villain, knows that Tifa is the one thing Clpud loves more than anything in the world and is the only tie to his true self. If Tifa dies or Cloud is convinced she’s dead, his mind will be broken and nothing will be able to fix him. So now Sephiroth is trying to convince him he killed Tifa. “The ones you love”. Sephiroth basically confirms that Cloud loves Tifa.

The devs knew what we wanted and delivered it 😁

People reckon the first disc will end when Aerith dies, and then the second disc will cover everything up to the crater, which I've said over and over is the biggest low point of the game and a natural stopping point for a cliffhanger.

Thinking it through, I don't think disc one will end with Aerith dying. That's a lotta content to shove in one disc, and then not very much content to put on the second.

Kalm

Chocobo farm

Mythril mine

Finding Yuffie

Junon

Ferry

Costa del sol

Mountain road to Corel

Gold saucer, meeting Cait Sith

Core prison

Gongaga

Cosmo canyon

Nibelheim

Mt nibel

Rocket town

Wutai (maybe moved to part three)

Gold saucer, keystone

Temple of ancients

Bone village

Forgotten city, Aerith dies

That takes us to the end of a disc.

Icicle inn

Glacier

Northern crater

Yeah, I think we need to have a think about this. There's no way all of that will go on one disc. Looking through the list they may opt to end disc one at the gates of Nibelheim, which mirrors the start of the disc with the Kalm flashback. Then we pick up heading up my nibel, which contrasts and mirrors them heading down into the crater.

[eisforeidolon]

Fan: I had just recently become in the fandom here, but I feel like, as probably everybody in this room does, I know Sam and Dean inside and out, I feel like -

Jared: Woah! [J2 pointedly raise eyebrows, Jared grabs Jensen's arm] That's here [unintelligible, touching own butt]

[J2 crack up]

[Interlude where J2 make fun of the fan talking really loudly without a mic]

Fan: I'm really glad I could be y'all's entertainment. What I really want to know is something really cool and awesome about Jared and Jensen, and just something maybe that -

Jared: How much time you got? [licks finger, smooths eyebrow] Did you not see the picture earlier? [makes exaggerated face mocking the picture again]

Jensen: [repeating from fan] Something you can't read on wiki?

Fan: Yeah, just something cool about you!

Jensen: I think it's all there.

Jared: I think we're remarkably boring. [fans loudly object] I'll say something, I'll say something I think about -

[fan yells something about Jensen Ackles]

Jensen: Yeah, whatever you said.

Jared: Yeah! Uh, this will probably come as a shock, but I've done a questionnaire a few times, and guessing about him -

Jensen: Cosmo, or?

Jared: Totally, totally. Cosmo, Seventeen magazine, all those. No, uh, weirdly, because of where we stand literally right now in our lives? We're actually both introverts. Yeah, we - speaking for myself for sure and knowing him as I've known him for 20 years - oh God [Jensen nods]. We'd much rather stay home with our wives and kids than go out to a red carpet or an event. It's kind of like it takes energy? I think extroverts feel energized being in front of the camera? I think he and I are both like no, we don't wanna, like we'd rather just fuckin' chill out. Like I had a great time during COVID just stuck at my home with my wife and kids. I know that sounds, but I know - I don't mean that to sound heartless, like I realize so many people lost loved ones and lost jobs and mortgages? But I think having done damn near 15 straight years of flying back and forth and being here and being there and being everywhere. I was like, 'Oh, I just get to sit on the couch with my wife and my sons and my daughter' so. And I think that's probably the most surprising, is that if we both did a proper psychological questionnaire, we'd both come out as introverts.

Jensen: He answered for both of us. That was -

Jared: See? He doesn't even want to answer it.

[grayintogreen]

I don't know what schedules are, so in honor of Chapter One of YCDHN being posted, it's time for something I have been waiting for SO LONG to give more details about my process about.

WHAT IS A NONAGON AND WHAT DOES IT DO?

So given that this entire fic series is based entirely on “but what if” and I had a lot of specific theories about where the Aeor arc was going, when it came time to decide what to do with Lucien, I leaned on those theories a bit when building this alternate take.

Now normally when you have an arrogant asshole dealing with Eldritch Beings such as Lucien, you end up in a scenario where he’s probably going to get betrayed or just fucking eaten by the damn things, so I kinda expected that was where it was going- that he’d get consumed somehow and the Nein would have to rescue his dumb ass and yada yada yada they’d get Mollucien out of this somehow, because at that point I didn’t know the campaign was ending and I wanted purple tiefling AND Caduceus and just assumed that Matt would play the Mollucien as an NPC since… Lucien memories.

That did not happen! Obviously! And I love what did happen, because the Dragon kicking the Big Bad’s teeth in and becoming the Big Bad, himself, is an awesome trope. BUT as a fanfic writer, I am often preoccupied with what could have been, and therefore when I started drafting out OUADYA as a two-part story (since originally it was going to leave Lucien’s fate and the Somnovem ambiguous and just focus on the Creedemption part of the narrative, and that aspect of it was removed EXTREMELY early, like… Hupperdook arc early), I knew that no matter what else happened the Somnovem were going to be the final bosses and therefore they needed to be built up A LOT more menacing than they were in canon since they were kinda, through circumstances (probably because of the absence of Molly to torment), not as massively terrifying as they could have been within canon.

So to do that, we have their constant hassling of Molly, but then there’s Lucien, too. And that’s when I started thinking about what exactly IS a Nonagon and why did Lucien succeed where the previous guy got completely effed up and consumed? And how do we tie the idea that Lucien is probably Ruidus-Born and Fate-Touched into it (and again this was a fucking year before the Lucien book came out)?

So I built my little Anakin Skywalker narrative- Lucien was, through some insane alignment of the cosmos, born specifically to deal, for good or for ill, with the Somnovem. That’s why he has the same fucking red eyes- miss me with anyone telling me that isn’t significant somehow. Now he wasn’t born specifically to be their herald, but he was built with a soul/mind strong enough to handle them or combat them. If he’d taken Sehanine’s hand (as shown in there’s something divine in the way screams can sound), he would have ended up as her Champion- she’s the Lady of Dreams, so she’s the one in a position MOST suited to fighting them. He didn’t, so that put him on the path to either being subjugated or subjugating them. 

The book definitely agrees with my belief that the Somnovem saw him as a pet (Culpasi), an unpaid intern (half of them), and the punkass teenage getaway driver who needs to stop questioning the adult criminals and drive the fucking bus already (the other half), though the book was also VERY OBVIOUS about them letting him fucking know that, which… Yeah. Then again, the book also skipped over the two years he was in the Astral Sea to the point where it looks like it never happened, so maybe they had to speedrun his dawning realization that these assholes may love him, but he’s still their chattel slave bitch.

Since the Astral Sea field trip IS a massively important part to Lucien’s narrative IN ACTUAL CANON AND IN MY VERSION OF IT, I had to construct what that meant for a Lucien who can’t leave, who isn’t and can never get out of his situation and is rapidly losing hope and sanity. I also had to figure out a reason for Molly to even fucking want to get him out and therefore the linchpin thing came about.

And the second the word “linchpin” entered my narrative, I realized I had just built the Soul King again.

But before I get into WHAT THAT NONAGON DO and how it relates to the shift in power dynamics within Cognouza, let me… fucking explain the Soul King.

The Soul King is the thing (and I say thing not to be dismissive or sarcastic but because it is a fucking thing in all reasonable sense of the word and Urahara, who is about as much as as fantasy realm atheist as you can get calls it that) that controls the balance of souls in Soul Society in Bleach. Without it, existence falls apart and all the different worlds of the dead and the world of the living would collapse in on themselves (sound familiar). He has zero power in the governing body of any realm, no voice, and is honestly, basically a torso and a head sealed up in a damn vault somewhere, and everyone is like “yeah the Soul King is fucking great” without giving a single damn about who he is or ever talking about how they fucking sealed him in the vault so he wouldn’t one day destroy them because some of his fucking limbs went out and caused problems on purpose. 

(also fun fact- the Soul King’s power manifests as eyeball creatures that look like this.)

Basically what this means for the Nonagon is that with Lucien very very close by as in RIGHT THERE IN THE AETHER CRUX, the Somnovem can move more independently, have a stronger since of self, and can cooperate better with one another. Without him, they’re in the slop, biting each other, and unable to reason. The two years Lucien spent where they were mostly backbiting and annoying him were the worst of it, but after those two years things started to solidify and then Molly died and the Moonweaver’s seals on the eyes broke and suddenly they have TWO Nonagons and an actual fucking goal to work towards and aren’t just using Lucien as a sounding board and a free brain to solve problems for them.

Any free mind can be of use to the Somnovem, but only the True Nonagon (aka Lucien) is capable of sustaining them and managing to hold up the weight of Cognouza’s bullshit without going mad and crumbling into the void. That doesn’t make it easy and left to this bullshit, Lucien would ultimately… Become a fucking soul in a vault capable of regulating the flow of information throughout Cognouza so it can goddamn function. He would lose his identity entirely. That’s what they want. That’s what he’s been risking happening by trying to put out a fire inside of the house, and the Somnovem have stopped playing the coddling masters and have brought out the lash now that he’s not even pretending to follow their lead. 

To them, he has always been an object- an object they very much love and adore and worship and want to keep happy so he does what he’s supposed to do without any of them having to cause him harm (because you don’t want to abuse your cute little pet), but an object. If he isn’t going to fall into line, then that needs to be fixed and that’s where we’re picking up at the start of YCDHN- what happens when Lucien tries his big subjugation monologue in a situation where it’s very much NOT “I’m not stuck in here with you, you’re stuck in here with me” because at any point the Somnovem could have forced him to obey and Lucien’s arrogance just chose to believe that wasn’t an active choice they were making. He believed they wouldn’t try to cause him harm because they needed him and they worship him, and never thought oh shit, these are wizards they will do whatever they can to get what they want.

SO GOOD TIMES, AMIRITE??

[naughtygirl286]

So yes we finally went to see Guardians of the galaxy Vol.3 and yes there was some collectable goodies for this one too which you can of course see here.

Now as for the movie itself I though it was amazing! it was a great way to cap off this series and an excellent send off to these characters and for one they will be missed. but I'm sure they will appear again in future MCU movies but of course just not as the Guardians of the Galaxy of course and at the very end it says Star-Lord will return. So we will see him again as for the other I'm not sure but we'll have to wait and see

but anyway yes the movie was excellent The acting, the visuals, the action and the emotion was all amazing, I would say I loved pretty much everything minute of it.

The story is basically this Knowhere is attacked by Adam Warlock who was sent by none other then the High Evolutionary Who wants Rocket Raccoon. The Guardians fight him him but Rocket is seriously injured and the Guardians of the Galaxy set off on a daring mission across the cosmos in order to save Rocket and confront the High Evolutionary over his nefarious plans and learn the secret ties between him and the creation of Rocket Raccoon.

like I said the movie is excellent and I would say partly do to the writing and directing it was funny when it needed to be dramatic and serious when it needed to be and emotionally charged when it needed to be.

I was happy to finally see Adam Warlock on the big screen but I didn't think he got as much screen time as I thought he would have and I thought. The person playing him Will Poulter I thought he did a great job, I have always seen the character as kind of serious but this version is a bit more comedic in a way I felt and I think he kind of balances that so I thought he did a great job also I thought the introduction of the High Evolutionary as the movies villain was good as well and I thought Chukwudi Iwuji who plays the character did a great job as well and I am enjoying them bringing some of these huge "cosmic" characters like Ego the Living Planet, Kang the Conqueror,Eternity,The Celestial to name a few. but everyone who reprised their roles did and excellent job.

The movie is funny when it needs to be there is quite a few jokes and gags and you have to laugh at the bickering between Drax and Mantis that is hilarious all on its own and of Nebula gets pulled into it at times too which makes it even more funny

The action and stunt work is awesome too watching this is just pure fun and the visuals are I thought were a bit mind blowing the movie is truly a visual spectacle you have to probably see it just for that All the production design is amazing I'm also happy that they finally got to wear their comic book uniforms in this one too but yeah all the creatures and aliens are imaginative and all the visuals involving Rocket/Groot and any other character was perfect, I feel the work they did on Rocket was turly amazing to the point where he looked, acted and felt like a real live creature that was onset with everyone else

The music for this was perfect too each song just fit were it should and work perfectly in the frame of the movie and yes this was a very emotional ride of a movie especially concerning Rocket and his backstory truth be told I did tear up through all that, it was very very sad at points so I couldn't help it

but yeah like I said the movie is amazingly excellent it was a great way to cap off this series and an excellent send off to these characters so if you love the other stuff they were in and enjoyed these characters I would highly recommend going to see this last chapter.

also yes there is some credit scenes there is one mid and one end for this

[punkscowardschampions]

Camber

Amber: I just wanted to say thank you again for earlier

Amber: and sorry if I was noticeably wildly taken aback you exist

Cosmo: It was my ma, don’t need to thank me

Cosmo: Why would you be expecting my existence? 

Amber: Without your ma’s help, and yours, I’d still be walking around hospital corridors

Amber: I’ve already thanked her, we’ve swapped heaps of messages

Amber: I wasn’t expecting Dash to have a brother I didn’t know about is what I guess I’m trying to say

Cosmo: We’ve plenty experience

Cosmo: Of course you have

Cosmo: It’s like you don’t know Dash either, isn’t it

Amber: Yeah, your of course is bang on, your mum’s lovely

Amber: He outright lies and deliberately misleads, I have experience of that, sure, but this seems a new level, or low, doesn’t it? It’s really unnecessary

Cosmo: She’s familiar with you lot, like she said

Cosmo: I knew that, he’s a fake

Amber: She’s been telling me what [the commune] was like when she lived there, it all sounds unsurprisingly familiar

Amber: Oh he’s heaps of things alright

Cosmo: Shock horror a 60s throwback isn’t heralding in a brave new world

Cosmo: Well, my apologies you had to find out like this, absent jailer can only be so efficient in keeping her bedbound

Amber: The shock was reserved for you, and horror is a touch dramatic, we weren’t close enough for my world to be rocked

Amber: You definitely don’t need apologise either, by the way

Cosmo: Sure, he’s a throwback but I did mean the whole ‘commune’ idea

Cosmo: Even our nan wasn’t born in the 60s, an actual joke

Amber: Okay, but how many original ideas are there anyway?

Cosmo: Talking like the time and country you’re from isn’t original either but it’s logical

Amber: He can’t escape talking like the country he’s from, however much he’d kill for an American accent

Cosmo: Are you South African?

Amber: No, but I get that heaps

Amber: even from people who don’t know I’ve been to [and wherever in south africa you have, giving the poorest parts obvs because your parents are crusaders]

Cosmo: How the fuck did you end up in [wherever the commune is located, like exactly]?

Amber: Long story short, my parents’ jobs

Amber: how and why the majority our age move around

Cosmo: Not enough starving kids in Africa? Who knew

Amber: Poverty affects every country, including this one

Amber: I think that’s fairly well known

Cosmo: And it’s definitely tackled by making the doss house seem wholesome with some veggies and some chickens, not getting a job and engaging with the real world

Amber: I told you they have jobs a few sentences ago

Cosmo: Yeah, the saviours charging in always do

Cosmo: anyone who’s been there longer than a year don’t

Amber: Congrats on tackling your prejudices, it’s going really well

Cosmo: Boo hoo, I don’t feel bad for anyone there

Amber: I doubt anyone is asking you to, like you said, we don’t engage with the real world

Cosmo: You just did, a few sentences ago

Amber: I did not

Cosmo: Yeah, you did

Cosmo: Prejudice is a dog whistle for sympathy

Amber: You should work with slogans, that’s an awesome off the top of your head attempt

Cosmo: Thanks, I’ll leave the politics to the private schoolboys and do-gooders though

Amber: I mean, you’d know better than I would what real world jobs call for it, but advertising would be a good fit too

Cosmo: I know what I’m going to do, I already do it

Amber: How old are you?

Cosmo: 17

Amber: And how long have you had your future career mapped out?

Cosmo: Long as I can remember

Amber: Wow

Amber: What is it?

Cosmo: I play football, I’m at [whatever academy] on the junior side

Amber: Irish football, soccer or American?

Cosmo: Not calling it soccer but that one

Amber: So you’re like Keira Knightley in that film, got it

Cosmo: ?

Amber: The one with the Beckham cameo, but I don’t know, it could’ve been a lookalike

Cosmo: Your references are cooked

Amber: I don’t watch heaps of tv, it’s one of the few dvds without scratches, for some reason

Cosmo: Surprised you have one

Amber: Me too, tends to be the first thing to get sold, maybe the tv’s days are numbered but for now, we still have one

Amber: and a dvd player

Cosmo: And you’re surrounded by cosplaying kids and enabling users

Cosmo: should charge them, Dash would soon stop bothering himself and you

Amber: Unfortunately, I don’t think bouncer is the career path I’m going to be on

Cosmo: I wouldn’t bet on it, proving a point isn’t worth getting murdered

Amber: Talking about my potential murder wasn’t something I’d bet on doing with a stranger today

Cosmo: Why are you here?

Amber: Would you like me to go? Ideally not because I’ve been murdered but

Cosmo: I mean, you didn’t need to search me up to say thanks

Cosmo: but you’ve done that now, so

Amber: I wanted to

Amber: you’re right though, I’ve done that now

Amber: I’ll see you when I’m over for a cuppa, if you’re around then

Cosmo: If you’re humouring her because you feel sorry for her, you don’t need to, she has plenty of friends

Amber: You’d have to ask Daisy why she invited me, hopefully she doesn’t feel too sorry for me

Amber: I’m coming because she’s nice

Cosmo: I don’t need to ask her motivations

Amber: Okay

Cosmo: If you think this is going to endear you to him, it won’t

Amber: I beg your pardon?

Cosmo: Whatever time you came for tea, he’d not be there, he doesn’t give enough of a fuck about her to give a fuck about you being a good samaritan 

Amber: I’m well versed where he spends 99.9 of his time, it’s where I live or in classes with me, if I wanted an in, I’ve had heaps

Cosmo: I’m glad you’re not that dumb then

Amber: Thanks, I have my moments and some brain cells knocking about 

Cosmo: More than can be said of most he hangs with

Amber: We haven’t hung out for a while, I’ve lost my shine for him by now

Cosmo: Doubt that

Amber: There’s newer, more age appropriate girls for him to focus his attentions on at any given minute

Cosmo: He’s never really concerned himself with what’s appropriate but sure

Amber: He’s in great company

Cosmo: I know

Amber: And I’ve made it crystal clear I’ve got no romantic or sexual interest

Cosmo: I wasn’t doubting your lack of interest, just his

Amber: He’s persistent but I’m as stubborn

Cosmo: He’s a brat

Amber: Hard same when I need to be

Cosmo: Must be nice

Amber: I wish I didn’t have to use it as a fallback, but hey, if boys will be boys, girls will rely on whatever methods they can

Cosmo: It’s not a safe place, if your parents are any kind, you’ll be out of there before something worse happens than some pathetic teenage fuckboy

Amber: My parents are the kind to honour their commitments 

Cosmo: What about their commitment to being parents then

Amber: What about it? I’m taken care of in all the ways I’m supposed to be

Cosmo: Doesn’t sound like you feel very safe

Amber: Well, I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression somehow and somewhere

Amber: I’m the amount of cautious any woman is because I’m that amount of default unsafe, no more

Cosmo: Relax, I’m not going to do anything about it

Amber: Except voice your opinion, which I respect, I don’t know when to shut up either, famously

Cosmo: You famously messaged me, which is weird, by the way

Amber: Still being here might be, but why is reaching out in the first place weird?

Cosmo: You ain’t meant to talk to strangers, you never heard?

Amber: We talked at the hospital, I did anyway, you mainly stared at me or at the floor

Cosmo: I didn’t stare at you

Amber: Daggers, the stabbing feeling’s only just gone away

Cosmo: Not the first or last of his friends we’ve run into

Amber: You’re calling me his friend, I don’t know if he or I would

Cosmo: It makes no odds to me whether he’s got in your pants or not, that’s his definition

Cosmo: you’re still the same

Amber: Good to know by his definition we never will be, less fantastic to be tarred with whatever brush you’ve got out

Cosmo: You could be one of the ones that needs help, I don’t know

Amber: Saying I’m not makes it sound as if I am, I can’t win with that kind of protest

Cosmo: If you ain’t then you deserve that place and his company

Amber: Throw me to the wolves then, damn

Cosmo: Who am I, your personal saviour 

Cosmo: you just said you were good

Amber: Everything about you is so confrontational, I’ve been trying to give you the benefit of your stares being where this stops getting aggressive

Cosmo: I’m not aggressive

Amber: What are you?

Cosmo: I just don’t use that faux therapy talk you’re used to

Amber: You’re white knuckling onto your snap judgment, I’m used to that being a thing too, sorry I bothered you

Cosmo: There’s no point not, is there

Amber: You tell me, you seem to have all the answers and I 1000% don’t

Cosmo: Aren’t you meant to extol the benefits of giving people a chance? That’s not me, judgmental and aggressive 

Amber: You’d refuse to feel the benefit to spite me, boy

Cosmo: I’ve been there, done that, got the burns to prove it

Cosmo: you’re too shiny and new and too late, girl

Amber: He speaks like he’s from the 60s and you act like you’re in yours

Amber: it’s never too late, unless you’re ashes pressed into the [however tall he is] shape of a guy

Cosmo: Who asked you to come and judge my life?

Cosmo: You don’t even know him by admission, you haven’t got the first clue about me

Amber: You don’t about me but when has it stopped you?

Cosmo: I know that place, better than you ever could

Cosmo: if I was judgmental or aggressive about anything, that’s what it was, not you

Amber: The last thing I want is to know that place like the back of my hand, I’m not your brother or whichever of his ‘friends’ you’ve met

Cosmo: He don’t know shit he thinks he does

Amber: I’ve lived there [however long]

Amber: a week was long as to get the feel of it, whatever else I am, I’m not gullible, believe that or don’t

Cosmo: I’m as glad for you as I can be for any stranger

Amber: And I’ll be as glad to cross paths with you on [whatever day she’s going for tea and biscuits]

Cosmo: Don’t worry, I’ll stay out of your way

Amber: Your whereabouts don’t worry me, it’s your house and if you feel like scowling at me from any corner of it, I can’t stop you

Cosmo: I’ve got a life, thanks

Amber: Right, soccer

Cosmo: Oh and what the hell do you do that’s so important?

Amber: Excluding when mama needs urgent supplies, nothing I do is important

Cosmo: What does your ma even do?

Amber: Women’s health stuff, a giant umbrella, but we can sum it up by saying she cares more about period poverty than starving kids in Africa

Cosmo: Right, well needing to find your mammy is the best reason you’d need pointing to OBGYN

Amber: I’m not asking your worst case scenario for me, I dread to think

Cosmo: You’d only accuse me of calling you stupid if I asked you what you reckon most people go there for, so, yeah

Amber: I’m 17 not 7, I’ve ideas why most people do most things

Cosmo: You said you were in his classes

Amber: Yeah, I’m not beating the stupid accusations any time soon after all, am I?

Cosmo: I didn’t know that happened, seems very American

Amber: They’re probably making an exception because I’ve been unschooled up to now, or because I massively embarrassed myself with the test they gave to find out where I’m at

Cosmo: I’m sorry

Amber: Why? I fought to be in school and I am

Cosmo: I’m sorry that you weren’t until now

Amber: My dad’s a teacher, I didn’t need to be, I wanted to

Amber: I warned you about me being a brat

Cosmo: Not good enough of one if you’re that behind though

Amber: It’s my own fault, unschooling is child centred, I decided what I wanted to learn at what pace

Cosmo: Almost like a child isn’t qualified to make life decisions like that they have no capability of understanding

Amber: Who knew?

Amber: Me, I cared more about swimming

Cosmo: There’s a reason we still have to do our lessons at the academy 

Cosmo: ‘course you didn’t want to, no kid does

Amber: Do you learn Irish? They won’t let me join those classes

Cosmo: Sadly

Amber: You hate it?

Cosmo: Maybe the Irish footie lads can use it, doesn’t have no purpose for me

Cosmo: I’m sure someone’d teach you but that won’t help you do any better on the tests

Amber: I’ve picked up a handful of words, far as I ever seem to get in all the languages of all the places I’ve lived

Amber: I could order you a drink in heaps of countries if you keep it simple and want a beer

Cosmo: It’s a dead horse language, honestly

Cosmo: Everyone speaks English, any time we’re away in Europe, never an issue

Amber: Are you away much?

Cosmo: Not as much as the proper team but [however much junior clubs do go away, idk but it would happen, I’m sure]

Amber: I wonder if we’ve ever been in the same place at the same time

Cosmo: Where have you been?

Amber: Where have you? It’d be easier to list where I haven’t yet, you’d get bored

Cosmo: Alright, show-off

Amber: No, but give it up, where have you?

Cosmo: God, let me think

Cosmo: [list them, I shan’t lmao]

Amber: [discuss dates and if there’s been any crossover on the places she has also been because what are the odds but that would be cinematic peak romance if there has and y’all didn’t even realise]

Cosmo: [me like sadly for you boo bear/this girl, I doubt he remembers the dates he was places, he doesn’t have the energy for that]

Cosmo: Where was your favourite place?

Amber: Ever or out of the places you’ve been to?

Cosmo: Out of the places you’ve been to, I’m sure I’ll have heard of it, still

Amber: You’ll have heard of it because it’s where I’m from, when you nail that guess, anyway

Amber: I liked my life best when we stayed put for longer than our record of [however long which is clearly giving no longer than a year to 18 months max because your parents are cray] in [wherever you stayed the longest that wasn’t new zealand, I don’t need to specify it isn’t that important]

Amber: Where was yours?

Cosmo: It’s the other one, shoulda figured you were too light-skinned to be any kind of African but I don’t know anything about New Zealand beyond hobbits and rugby

Cosmo: everywhere was the same, I was just there to play

Amber: Do you want to know anything about New Zealand beyond hobbits and rugby?

Cosmo: You can tell me

Amber: [jokingly tell him things about stuff he’d wanna know based on how he’s been this convo so about politics and how safe it is or isn’t and how everyone speaks english and maori is kinda like irish cos they really killed it off only to resurge it in like 1987 and anything you can about football lol, cos gotta playfully sass him as the tea realistically is you don’t really remember as much about the place as you wish you did cos you’ve been everywhere since and were clearly young when all this hardcore travelling started so, not trying to get into that and be sad/prove him right that your parents suck rn]

Cosmo: Well, you can always be a travel agent when you finish school

Amber: Encouraging travel isn’t very eco warrior of me

Cosmo: Hippie = hypocrite, don’t you know?

Amber: I’m gutted you’ll never meet my mama, seriously

Cosmo: I’m glad she’s not a doctor or I already would have

Amber: Long as yours doesn’t get pregnant again or an STI, you’re safe

Cosmo: Shut up

Amber: I’m likewise doing my damndest not to, I’ll ask her to make a pact with me

Cosmo: Because that’s funny

Amber: I wouldn’t joke about a baby or a sexually transmitted disease, both sound like hellish experiences 

Cosmo: You just did though

Amber: I did not

Cosmo: Are you an only child as well as homeschooled? 

Amber: At the moment

Cosmo: It’s too late for you not to have both those energies

Amber: Ouch

Amber: I thought the daggers hurt

Cosmo: Sorry, that was kind of harsh but

Cosmo: you’re very strange

Amber: I do try not to be, but I guess it genuinely is too late

Cosmo: You’ve not been around normal people to learn it, not for long enough

Cosmo: it’s your parents’ fault, not yours

Amber: I’ve made a couple of friends at school

Amber: hopefully not entirely out of pity

Cosmo: Sure they’re not

Amber: How many friends is a football team? 

Cosmo: [the numbers ‘cos it’s always so many playing and so many reserves and I’m not getting into the weeds of that]

Amber: Mr popular

Cosmo: Hardly

Amber: I don’t believe you, you’re super friendly and open

Cosmo: Ha ha, Miss stalker

Amber: Your mammy gave you an easily stalkable name, which she dropped when you refused to introduce yourself

Cosmo: Which makes it okay

Amber: I’m not outside in your bushes

Cosmo: Really sounds like you are

Amber: You’d be kicking a ball somewhere and I wouldn’t have eyes on you if I was, what’s the point? 

Cosmo: I don’t know what your interest is, you find me intolerable and intolerant

Amber: I was attempting to smooth things over and make them less weird, okay? Which I know has backfired, before you say it

Cosmo: You’re self-aware, give you that

Cosmo: There is nothing to smooth over though, honestly

Amber: Maybe I just wanted to talk to you then

Amber: to see if you would this time

Cosmo: You took it personally

Amber: It was personal, so yeah

Cosmo: It really wasn’t

Amber: You really looked at me like you wished the floor would open up and swallow me, to mean you wouldn’t have to look at me again

Cosmo: It could have been anyone from that place, that’s what I have the problem with

Cosmo: I don’t know you

Amber: You don’t want to know me because I’m from there

Cosmo: Like I said, anyone that wants to get out, that’s different

Amber: It isn’t that simple

Cosmo: It isn’t easy, is what you mean

Cosmo: it’s perfectly simple

Amber: Finding good doesn’t mean you condone the bad, people have heaps of their own personal reasons to stay which doesn’t equate them to Dash or your dad

Cosmo: Places full of vulnerable people attract abusers, that’s never going to change

Cosmo: and that’s why a group of well-intentioned but stupid fucking people can’t just be left in charge of people who need actual help and protection

Amber: Not every vulnerable person is willing to accept the kind of help and protection you’re talking about, what’s your solution, stripping them of any autonomy to make their own choices because you think yours are better?

Cosmo: It’s just like alternative medicine, your ‘help’ actively encourages those people to not suck it up and seek real

Cosmo: and none of it fucking works, do you know how many junkies have died there? Fucked up teens offed themselves?

Amber: I don’t need to know, I’ve lived in enough similar places and seen it play out, you aren’t telling me anything I haven’t lived through already

Cosmo: What, do you think that makes you sound impressive?

Cosmo: You’re living in a fantasy cooked up by men who wanted to abuse drugged up runaways, there’s nothing good about it, never was, never will be

Amber: I know how it makes me sound

Amber: but the reality is, I’m living there

Amber: even if I hate it, I love my parents and they love me, whatever misguided ideas they have and however much I disagree with heaps of what they say and do

Cosmo: Anyone who loved you properly wouldn’t put you in that kind of danger

Cosmo: to stroke their own ego

Amber: You have no right to claim they don’t love me

Cosmo: I’m sure they think they do but they aren’t acting in love, they aren’t thinking about you even, never mind doing right by you

Amber: How dare you, they’re flawed yeah, they’re human

Cosmo: I could lie but you’re still stuck there with the truth

Amber: They believe they’re doing right by me, that’s the truth to them

Cosmo: Use that’s done you

Cosmo: use it’s done my brother, she’s turned him into Caleb, the man who turned her into a cripple, good one

Amber: What use is there in projecting your feelings about your family onto mine?

Cosmo: The state of you is real, sorry to break that one too

Amber: The state of me

Cosmo: Yeah

Amber: You don’t even know me

Cosmo: You’re covered in tattoos, you can’t pass [whatever year she’s in], you’re a social nightmare and you’re destined to bum around the same shitholes you spent your childhood in because they’ve opened you up to nothing but their bullshit agenda

Amber: At least I’m not this cruel

Cosmo: Then you’ll be on the receiving end of it your whole life

Cosmo: that’s how the world works

Amber: Your world, and for once I’m glad I’m not part of it

Cosmo: Good for you

Amber: No, good for you knowing everything and how wrong everyone but you is

Cosmo: Owning my choice doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it

Cosmo: difference between me and anyone at that place is I know I’ve doomed myself

Amber: The difference is, your mother made a choice that took you away from that place before you had to make it for yourself

Amber: You expect me to turn my back on mine, on everything, and do what exactly?

Cosmo: You haven’t got a fucking clue

Cosmo: Her hand was forced, she didn’t mention the existence of that place, knew they’d shut it all down

Cosmo: she’d be back there if she could fucking walk, why do you think she wants to be your mate?

Amber: You can’t go around forcing everyone else’s hands in retaliation, I don’t have a choice right now

Cosmo: You have a choice, if you seriously plan to come see her, Dash is to never find out, or you stay the fuck away

Cosmo: This isn’t Daisy’s house, it’s Nan's and he knows he isn’t allowed anyone from that place to step inside, none of his friends

Amber: Dash isn’t going to find out anything from me

Amber: but just so you know, I’ve been inside before, he isn’t playing by your rules

Cosmo: Well done on earning him a beating

Cosmo: I hope that felt great

Amber: No, it doesn’t

Cosmo: Another lesson you can choose to ignore then

Cosmo: thanks for the tip, like

Amber: Should I stay away?

Cosmo: What difference does it make

Cosmo: She can’t go back, she’s a depressive bitch about it anyway

Amber: I don’t know, I met her today

Cosmo: She’ll be nice to you

Amber: It isn’t about me

Amber: I don’t want to make things worse, for her or for you

Amber: Will I?

Cosmo: It can’t get any worse

Cosmo: You wanna do me a favour?

Cosmo: Do fuck my brother, move yourselves in and you can look after her and nan

Cosmo: before I lose my chance, for good

Amber: I could help you look after her without involving Dash

Cosmo: You met her today

Amber: Which isn’t relevant, what is, I can’t have sex with your brother

Amber: and you want help

Cosmo: It’s quite relevant when it comes to throwing away your future to feed and clean someone

Cosmo: I’d never let anyone else do it, except him because he’s a fuck up who’ll fail everything anyway but hey

Amber: According to you, I don’t have a future to throw away

Cosmo: You still have to try, there are lucky ones, ones that get out

Amber: I would be out, your house is a million miles from anywhere I’ve ever slept, it’s so nice I almost cried when I walked into it

Cosmo: It’s not much, you should see how some of my teammates live, not even thinking they’re well-off

Cosmo: but it’s hers, she worked her whole life and bought it off the council when she could, I’m not having my ma or him turn it into a spill-over for fuck ups they take a shine to, no chance

Amber: It’s amazing

Cosmo: She’s left it to me, in her will, she told me, and she did it before her mind went so it’s not a mistake

Cosmo: but she’s leaving my ma with it, there’s no more away games if I can’t trust nan to look after the pair of them, it’s over

Amber: You don’t know me and you’re going to think this is insanity, but if you let me help you, it doesn’t need to be over

Cosmo: Why would you want to do that?

Cosmo: I’m not oblivious, I know how nasty I was to you, it was on purpose

Amber: Because you have a future and I seriously don’t unless I have somewhere quiet I can study

Cosmo: I don’t know if I could pay you, the money is stretched to capacity

Amber: I’ve never been paid for anything, it’s a miracle I even vaguely understand money, you don’t have to

Cosmo: Your school is a lot closer to here than mine

Cosmo: we could start by you coming and doing lunch instead of me, if you’re serious

Amber: Show me how you do things and I’ll follow your lead

Cosmo: I will

Cosmo: You can do whatever you need to do whilst you’re here, it’s not payment but it’s as close as I can do, food, shower, the quiet you want

Amber: All of those things are worth more than money to me

Cosmo: Then this could work

Cosmo: or I’ve cracked, finally

Amber: One maybe snag

Amber: I’m not as strong as you, do they need help like that?

Cosmo: Ma has the things, the equipment, I’ll show you how to use it all so you don’t hurt yourself

Cosmo: Nan is just getting forgetful, right now, she can physically do everything well enough

Amber: Is she going to let me in? I can only cover so many tattoos and try to be normal

Cosmo: I’ll have to think up a backstory to introduce you, she trusts me, I’m not like them pair, you’ll be my friend instead

Amber: Okay

Cosmo: Failing that, you can buy like the… tabard? things that carers wear online, we’ll get that and she’ll think you’re someone I’ve hired legit

Amber: What happens when you’re at school? I need to still go

Cosmo: Of course

Cosmo: I’ve put sticky notes everywhere for nan, telling her how to do everything, she doesn’t have keys to get out

Cosmo: I give them breakfast, I come back at lunch and then home after school

Amber: Easy switch

Cosmo: I know it’s not perfect

Cosmo: but when nan started going too, that’s when I made the choice, I stayed or we went into care and they both went into homes, I guess, I don’t even know… I didn’t pick that option

Amber: How long has it been?

Cosmo: He was only 12

Cosmo: I know I said he’s hopeless and he is but I didn’t want him to really REALLY be, you know

Amber: God, you were really young too

Amber: and now I don’t have a leg to stand on calling you cruel, because you’re proven not

Cosmo: I can be, I was to you

Cosmo: I don’t usually talk to strangers like that, my social circle is limited to medical professionals who are famously bad at bedside manner at this point

Amber: Please do me a favour and don’t talk to any girls like that, you’ll be doing yourself one at the same time

Cosmo: I don’t talk to girls

Cosmo: as you’ve gathered, he doesn’t sneak people in when I’m around 

Amber: You’ll finally have a bit of free time to, if you want

Cosmo: I’m not going to waste it

Amber: I’m far from your coach or anything, but isn’t downtime as important?

Cosmo: I already can’t do the after-school and weekend practices, I’m barely scraping by in terms of effort as far as football is concerned

Cosmo: but if I can just make it pro, then I could pay to have them cared for fully and dedicate myself

Amber: Fine, no distracting girls

Amber: or boys, I’ve totally assumed, and only realised this second, sorry

Cosmo: Correct assumption allowed

Cosmo: go so far as to say appreciated but that’s probably homophobic

Amber: I’ll allow it, I put my foot in it constantly and I’m supposed to be completely woke, whereas you’re a grumpy old man

Cosmo: I’ll take it

Amber: What do I do if Dash comes home?

Cosmo: I’ll tell him about this, I mean, if he even notices 

Cosmo: I’m sure you’ve had experience helping people out, the places you’ve been, makes you useful, doesn’t make it a free for all

Amber: Comes with the territory, my do-gooder parents practically insist, babies, kids and old people

Amber: and it’ll be a relief not being roped in to prepare meals for [however many people are living at the commune rn, god knows] for a change

Cosmo: Are they going to notice?

Amber: When they do I’ll give them the bare bones, no incriminating details, I’m studying, helping out a friend etc

Cosmo: That settles it

Amber: When shall I start? 

Cosmo: Come and let me show you what I need to soon as you can, then, again, soon as you can

Amber: Show me now, that way I can start tomorrow

Amber: no time to waste, boy

Cosmo: You’re not an actual stalker, are you?

Amber: Too late to worry about that at this point, I reckon

Cosmo: If you kill them, you’re pretty distinctive, you’ll be getting dobbed in immediately 

Amber: My hit list wouldn’t start with your mum and nan, if I had targets for murder, which I don’t

Cosmo: A loaded if

Cosmo: everyone does, it’s okay

Amber: I don’t have boundaries but I still know not to share my secrets with you, they’d be weaponized the next time you feel cruel

Cosmo: It’s not a requirement of the arrangement 

Amber: Are there any real ones left to tell me?

Cosmo: Let me think

Cosmo: Don’t bring anyone ‘round here yourself

Amber: Done, my school friends already think I’m strange without this

Cosmo: Welcome to my world

Amber: There’s only one person I’d even consider from [the commune] and she wouldn’t be very eager to go anywhere near Dash’s house

Cosmo: Seems like a close encounter with him has that effect

Amber: He sucks, we all know he does

Cosmo: Oh, mammy thinks he’s incredible so keep that in mind with her

Amber: I’ve earned experience biting my tongue thanks to my own mama’s opinions about heaps of things

Cosmo: You’ll find enough to talk about with her

Amber: Talking is something I’m good at

Cosmo: I believe it

Cosmo: I had to be really cruel and you’ve still not gone away

Amber: It’s adorable you reckon I haven’t heard worse, what a sunny, rose tinted world you must live in

Cosmo: Ha ha

Cosmo: you’re just faking upset then

Amber: I didn’t say I don’t get upset, it hurts every time

Amber: I’m saying pick a slur that vaguely applies, or looks like it might, and I’ve had it directed towards me

Cosmo: Nan hasn’t hard R’d either of us yet but she’s not Caleb’s biggest fan so she might have it in her

Amber: I’m totally with her on that one, we’ll have that much in common going in

Cosmo: Who is, even Dash has to see how little shits the man gives

Amber: My light skinned privilege will protect me, as usual, it’s okay

Cosmo: New Zealand without the natives must be about as diverse as here, you get it

Amber: Yeah, we’re about the same colour, give or take

Cosmo: You’ve got less freckles

Amber: Sadly, yours are incredible

Cosmo: Ginger genes were weirdly strong

Amber: And you lucked out with a more pleasing accent

Cosmo: It’s funny, that could be endearing to some people

Amber: Everyone at school laughs

Cosmo: You’re there to get the piece of paper at the end, right

Amber: I’m trying

Cosmo: So fuck ‘em

Amber: You and your catchy slogans

Cosmo: Inspirational

Amber: I’m inspired to keep walking in the direction of your house instead of away, true

Cosmo: This thing has worked out mutually beneficial, it doesn’t need to go further, if this is all we have in common then I can leave it at that

Cosmo: I’m not going to insult you

Amber: Please don’t, my retaliation would get me fired for sure

Cosmo: Keep it professional

Amber: I’m terrible at boundaries but attempts will be made

Cosmo: That’s been established, I’m not

Amber: He’s a professional

Amber: I said I’d watch and learn

Cosmo: We’ll start with the easy stuff

Cosmo: You don’t fuck that up, maybe we can work something more permanent out

Amber: You’ll employee of the month me before you know it

Cosmo: ⭐️s for you

Amber: Lifted from daddy’s stash

Amber: but also, I want a cake like it’s my birthday, take a mental note

Cosmo: You ever had cake that doesn’t contain a vegetable for no good reason?

Amber: No, my birthday cakes suck, which is why I want one

Cosmo: We’ll see if you earn it

Amber: I’m going to, you can’t dad talk your way out of it

Cosmo: This is the brat behaviour you mentioned, I see

Amber: Uh huh

Cosmo: Nan can make sick cakes

Cosmo: get her to like you and you could have cake every day

Amber: Oh, that settles it, she’ll love me

Cosmo: Take years to fatten you up, diabetes might be quicker though

Amber: Stop planning my death

Cosmo: You know full well I have two victims at home

Cosmo: no need to rage-bait random girls off the street

Amber: I don’t know what your preferred victim is, maybe it’s random girls off the street matching my description

Cosmo: No one but you matches your description

Amber: Oh my god, you’re probably being mean but I’m taking it as a compliment

Cosmo: Have at it

Amber: Remind me of your street again, I was high as the last time I was there

Cosmo: ‘Course you were

Cosmo: [give your address] you in the right stratosphere or?

Amber: How many streets is a stratosphere, do you think?

Cosmo: I can’t pretend I really know what it is exactly

Cosmo: wasn’t planning on being book-smart to escape

Amber: I was going in roughly the direction needed

Cosmo: Explains why you cried too, you’re going to be disappointed in the sober light

Amber: We’ve got different definitions of disappointment, mine’s outside toilets and no running water

Cosmo: It should be illegal to subject a kid to that without need but anyway

Cosmo: better steer clear of that topic

Amber: It feels illegal being a girl under those conditions

Cosmo: If we had a spare room

Cosmo: I know that’s not what you asked but, yeah, I’m glad you get to appreciate the miracles of plumbing to their full

Amber: If you have a bathtub I will sober cry, in front of you, sorry not sorry

Cosmo: Oh, God

Amber: I remember showering but not the logistics of where, purely the joy

Cosmo: He’s such a 

Cosmo: fuck’s sake

Amber: He wants to have sex with me, nakedness is at least semi required

Cosmo: I don’t talk to girls not because I don’t understand them

Amber: You don’t understand me

Cosmo: You’re not like other girls, yeah

Amber: Yeah I am

Cosmo: We don’t need to understand each other

Amber: Professionalism needs a level of understanding, doesn’t it?

Cosmo: Of course but that doesn’t need to include anything like that

Amber: Like what?

Cosmo: Don’t be annoying

Amber: You’re being more annoying evading the question

Cosmo: You don’t wanna play dumb

Amber: What if I am, with no games being played? I feel stupid all the time

Cosmo: I’m saying we don’t need to talk about my brother or your sex life

Amber: I don’t have a sex life with your brother

Amber: in fact there’s nothing to talk about because I don’t have a sex life, period, as of now

Cosmo: I wasn’t asking, I promise you

Cosmo: just explaining

Amber: Are you a virgin? Is that why this is an awkward topic for you? Because there’s nothing to be ashamed of, if you are

Cosmo: It’s awkward because I don’t want to know

Amber: Too much information, alright

Cosmo: I’m not like him, I don’t find it entertaining or amusing to ask personal questions

Amber: I’m not comparing, it’s a me thing, I find it difficult to differentiate what are and aren’t personal questions

Cosmo: Most people like to keep their sex lives private

Amber: That isn’t true of most people I know

Cosmo: Most people you know are actively trying to have group sex

Amber: Yeah, okay

Cosmo: Bragging or gossiping with friends is different too

Cosmo: but you said you have some friends and I’m on a football team so the bases are covered

Amber: I won’t ask your ma or nan about theirs, explanation taken on board

Cosmo: Thanks, like

Amber: I want them to like me, for this to not crash and burn spectacularly as per my track record of being a disaster, so

Cosmo: Ideally for me too

Cosmo: I won’t take the piss out of you if you want something explained

Cosmo: it just seems like you’re taking the piss out of me sometimes

Amber: Sometimes I am

Cosmo: Very handy in working out when you’re laughing or about to burst into tears again

Amber: You can tell you’ve never had a sister, or serious girlfriend

Amber: younger feminine energy is lacking for you

Cosmo: Lacking would imply I’d missed it, which I don’t think so now

Amber: Every girl isn’t as emotionally unregulated as me, don’t worry

Cosmo: Yeah, about half of my non-serious girlfriends have been, you’re not alone

Amber: You do date!

Cosmo: Sound more surprised

Amber: Well yeah, you’re out here pretending to be a monk or something

Cosmo: Your impression because I didn’t want to talk about you in the shower, which, by the way, would be really unprofessional

Amber: I’m not suggesting you watch me take my next one, that would be

Cosmo: Correct

Cosmo: but we do have a bath, so you can have one

Amber: You’re not playing to get me back, are you?

Cosmo: Nope

Amber: I’m nearly speechless

Cosmo: Then my work here is nearly complete

Amber: Silence has to be unprofessional

Cosmo: Depends on the profession

Amber: Mine, we need to talk

Cosmo: Yeah, we need to talk sometimes

Amber: You’d be a good teacher too, you’ve got their disapproving aura down

Cosmo: That what your da is like?

Amber: Not at all, but he’s unconventional

Amber: my teachers at school are basically clones of each other when it comes to me and how they deal

Cosmo: All shit?

Amber: Like they reckon I am, a piece of clinging to their shoe

Cosmo: Glorified babysitters anyway

Cosmo: You’ll have no excuse now, all this time, peace and quiet, be easy

Amber: I’m hoping, I’ve been waiting for something they’ve taught me to click since I started

Cosmo: You’re not dumb, it will

Amber: You don’t know that, you haven’t actually been near me or my books with any gold stars

Cosmo: You can tell a dumb person by talking to them, I can

Cosmo: you’re not that, at any rate

Amber: Thanks, it must’ve killed you to be semi nice to me

Cosmo: If only

Amber: I’m scared I won’t pass, can’t

Cosmo: Caring is half the battle

Amber: What if I lose the rest of the battle? Try and try and try, but fail my exams anyway?

Amber: you’ll go pro and I’ll be a highschooler in my 20s

Cosmo: You’d go to college to do it, with other adults

Cosmo: and they’d not waste time with all the extra stuff like teachers, just the basics you need

Amber: Yeah, no, you’re probably right, and we’re making progress because I’m barely pained to say you are

Cosmo: ‘Cos it’s not personal, just facts

Amber: Plus, you’re being pretty kind

Cosmo: Well, the bar is in hell so

Amber: Limbo’s my game

Cosmo: Bit of a dick move to challenge my mother

Amber: I’m challenging you

Cosmo: You’re short, there’s less way to go down

Amber: We’ll adjust it to keep you from being disadvantaged

Cosmo: Are you sure that’s the best use of our time?

Amber: Team building’s famously never not a fun time

Cosmo: Okay that’s definitely a joke

Amber: He’s learning

Cosmo: 👏

Cosmo: But I mean, maybe we could go over some basics, if I’m around

Amber: And you do mean it?

Cosmo: I’m not saying I’m a brainiac but I might be able to help some, as I’m where you’re meant to be

Amber: What an insanely sweet offer, it sucks I can’t accept when you’ve got heaps on your plate with football

Cosmo: Sure, not a priority

Cosmo: but > limbo, that’s all

Amber: Good luck beating the old man allegations with this anti limbo stance, but okay, I’m in

Cosmo: Being on the bench for a party isn’t my craic, doesn’t go down well

Amber: Excuse me, the only p word coming out of my mouth is professional

Cosmo: Let’s keep it that way

Amber: Yes boss

Cosmo: I hate both my names but 

Cosmo: Neither lends to a good nickname

Amber: What do your friends and non-serious girlfriends call you?

Cosmo: The team usually goes by surnames, anyone else calls me my name, too much effort to try and change it

Amber: Are you in charge of the team? I could nickname you captain

Cosmo: I don’t know if it’s very professional to make such a power dynamic

Amber: Oh, but you’re in charge of this arrangement, that’s a fact

Cosmo: It’s mutually beneficial though

Amber: I know, I know

Cosmo: Call me what you want, it’s all good

Amber: I don’t mind making the effort to find something you don’t hate

Cosmo: Let me know if you do, by all means

Amber: I need my gold stars, I’ll keep you updated

Cosmo: Maybe I’ll teach you an Irish word each time too

Amber: I’d love that

Cosmo: Does helpfulness end at 🍺🍻🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🍾?

Amber: If it did you could leave the language dead and buried, at [the commune] they create their own, I don’t need to hit up the bars

Cosmo: ‘Course they do

Amber: Dandelion wine wins most popular, but they’ll use and brew anything

Cosmo: If weed wine wins I dread to think what’s losing

Amber: It tastes better than you’re imagining, I swear 

Cosmo: I’ll take your word on that one

Amber: You don’t fancy me bringing you a bottle?

Cosmo: I’m sure ma would like it

Amber: She does, she’s mentioned it

Cosmo: Slainte then

Amber: [write it in every language you know it in, I’m not gonna do all that cos god knows how many that is, blowing his phone up with these one after another haha, put the flag emojis next to each one when you can so he can work out what’s what]

Cosmo: Miss 🌎🌍🌏

Amber: A token gesture, appreciated wherever I go though

Cosmo: Effort counts

Amber: You don’t have to play nice on every subject now we’re colleagues, it’s okay

Amber: everything ends up performative and I don’t put in enough, ever really, to be counted

Cosmo: I get why you wouldn’t, that’s all

Cosmo: yeah it’s performative bullshit but you’ll be gone before you’ve unpacked, so, why would anyone bother

Amber: Because other people don’t get to travel? I don’t know, it feels both disrespectful to the culture we don’t bother to integrate into and ungrateful to complain that it’s excessive

Cosmo: Honestly, it’s egotistical either way

Cosmo: Your arrival isn’t as awaited as your parents would have it be, no one cares

Amber: I love you

Amber: and I diva demand you print that on a t-shirt for me to pack when we leave

Cosmo: It’ll suit you

Cosmo: and make you suitably unpopular

Amber: In what colour?

Cosmo: 🤔

Cosmo: What does the New Zealand flag look like again?

Amber: [send him the emoji]

Amber: it’s not cute

Cosmo: Awkward

Cosmo: wearing that here would also make you a little too unpopular

Amber: What does your footie costume look like?

Cosmo: It’s a uniform, or a kit

Cosmo: 💙🖤

Amber: Blue it is

Cosmo: Sorted

Amber: We’re not leaving any time soon, I’ll be clocking in for ages yet, promise

Cosmo: Do they give you a timeframe or just decide one day?

Amber: I used to fall for how they pretended to frame it as a discussion, but it isn’t, I know that now

Amber: I get a say if I’m agreeing 

Cosmo: Of course, they can’t actually leave you anywhere

Amber: If she’s counting down on that option, she’s got [however long til your 18th bday cos you do have one but we don’t know when this is set] left to serve

Cosmo: What’s your plan then?

Amber: The rate I’m going, I’ll be nowhere near leaving cert, yet in deep enough throwing my progress away would still be an idiot move

Amber: fingers crossed your nan does love me and leaves me your couch to sleep on in her will

Cosmo: Well, there’ll be a room going if you’re not scared of ghosts

Cosmo: or her wallpaper choice

Amber: I’d overlook possible ghosts for wallpaper, sure

Cosmo: You could take his bed but that’s no better than where you are, I’m sure

Amber: I don’t have a bed where I am, beggars can’t be choosers

Cosmo: What do you sleep on there?

Amber: Hammocks when the weather doesn’t suck, floors when it hardcore does

Cosmo: The weather is never that good

Amber: Layers are my besties

Cosmo: Jesus

Amber: I’m 17 not 7, remember

Cosmo: You still need a bed

Amber: Sleeping on the floor’s great for your back, old man

Cosmo: Sleeping without proper warmth isn’t

Amber: Print that specific wisdom on a blanket and gift it to me, you’ve heard when my birthday is

Cosmo: The place needs condemning 

Amber: The housing crisis needs addressing

Cosmo: Get your parents on it then

Amber: The hero worship deserted me before 7

Cosmo: You know my thoughts, people hiding in dangerous living situations isn’t going to fix anything

Amber: Your thoughts are still going round and round in my head, believe me

Cosmo: Sorry

Cosmo: can’t take it back now

Amber: You wouldn’t, don’t lie

Cosmo: I wouldn’t

Cosmo: but you’re not responsible solely for that place by a long shot

Amber: I’m aware of my limitations

Amber: egotistically and practically

Cosmo: Then you’re already better than your parents

Cosmo: isn’t that what they all want?

Amber: I’ll turn up on your doorstep crying, is that what you want?

Amber: because that’s the loveliest thing anyone’s ever said to me

Cosmo: If you want my mum to shout at me as revenge

Cosmo: if not, please don’t

Amber: Before I’m on your street I’ll get myself together then

Cosmo: All for her benefit, I’m sure

Amber: No, yours

Cosmo: She’s a hippie, however bitter life’s made her, the shouting is nothing to be scared of

Amber: So’s mine, and I’ve been wearing the getting shouted at t-shirt daily, especially lately

Amber: I’m not going to wish the same on you

Cosmo: She seems like a ballbuster

Amber: Correct assumption with no notes, she is

Cosmo: Unlucky

Cosmo: though a backbone is better than none

Amber: She gets enough flack from men as a strong woman without me piling in, yeah

Cosmo: She’s still a nightmare, just a different nightmare from Daisy

Amber: She’s still my mama, I’m just being a brat

Cosmo: That what she calls you?

Amber: Her vocabulary’s different, the meaning isn’t drifting far

Cosmo: What decade is she from?

Amber: Who’s she talking to? In the nightmare she can obviously shapeshift

Cosmo: 👽

Cosmo: Whatever superhero hype she’s on, there’s no powers

Amber: Now that’s a costume

Cosmo: Halloween sorted

Amber: Well, I have to dress as a soccer player

Cosmo: I’d be honoured to replace your ma as the biggest nightmare, sure

Amber: Of course you would

Cosmo: What I aim for

Amber: You’re aiming for the big leagues, why stop on the field?

Cosmo: I thought it was over

Amber: Think again, Miles Morales

Cosmo: No time for us to get sentimental, MJ, there’s work to be done

Amber: We’ve got time, I had to walk from [wherever you were, whether that’s the commune or somewhere else, the point being she wasn’t and isn’t 5 mins from his house]

Cosmo: No need

Amber: Less talking more walking, gotcha