every now and then I get the urge to write a really serious story with darker themes and talks of old gods and prophecies and murder and sacrifice and trauma and horrors
and then i remember these are my blorbos
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
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Still blows my mind that Rolin and the CD and everyone got this kind of chemistry when they did chemistry reads with people thousands of miles apart. I guess the whole "let's see how they interact when they're not acting" thing really works. Or Rolin is a witch.
I would 1000000% Rolin is in communication with An Entity, tbh.
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i'm now looking at my list of least favorite french words to pronounce and going "too many r's" for about 40% of them and "skill issue" for most of the rest. some of these are actually very fun to pronounce i just couldn't wrap my tongue around them a year or so ago, but now i can i guess??? so that's very exciting. makes me hope that someday i'll be able to pronounce the rest of them. this is a bit pie in the sky because i really don't see myself ever getting there with procureur du roi but you never know. and luckily the french abolished the monarchy so it's not like i'll ever have to use that phrase in modern conversation.
anyway here are the words i actually love pronouncing now:
décaféiné
diététicien
filleul
pneumonie
i now feel normal/neutral about these words that used to be hard for me:
automne, condamner
douloureux
électricité, énergie
inférieur, supérieur, etc.
itinéraire
lourdeur
salmonellose
sclérose
subodorer
succincte
words that are definitely within the realm of my current capability but i haven't practiced them enough:
bugle
hiérarchisation
méditerranéen
phtisie
words that are still the bane of my existence but i live in hope:
[yʁ] plus at least one other r or [y] sound: chirurgie, fourrure, marbrure, moirure, nourriture, ordures, peinturlurer, procureur du roi, prurit, purpurin, sculpture, serrurerie, structure, sulfureux, tournure
all words beginning with ur-, hur-, or sur-
other difficult sequence of r's and vowels: construire and other -truire verbs; lueur and sueur; utérus
too many r's: marbre, martre, meurtre, opprobre, proroger, réfrigérateur, rétrograde, rorqual
difficult sequence of vowels and/or semivowels: coopérant, extraordinaire, hémorroïdal, kyrie eleison, météorologique, micro-ordinateur, micro-organisme, mouillure, quatuor, vanillier
not pronounced the way i would expect from the spelling: indemne, penta-, punk
just hard for some reason: humour
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i have an exam tomorrow but i know my brain won't know rest until i post this. anyway i just looked up the lyrics to 超度我/set me free by floruitshow and i just. have to inflict this song onto other people it is so robits
(real quick one thing i will say is please listen to the song, i once described floruitshow as 'the perfect combination of classically trained and a little bit insane' and this song is 100% that vibe. like i cant promise you'll like it but i can promise that it probably won't sound like anything else you've heard before)
Also I'll only be translating the verses because the chorus is literally lines straight from the Diamond Sutra and explaining those is above my paygrade
(Verse 1)
来不及
There's no time left
最后一句想你来不及让你知道
No time left to say to you my last 'I miss you'
再也回不去
We can't ever return
那个有彩虹出现的下午
to that afternoon when the rainbow appeared
再也感受不到你温度
I won't ever feel your warmth again
如果你留我在梦里
If you left me in my dreams
我会放弃呼吸
I can give up my breath
请 超度我
Please, set me free
VR-LA during/after MR-SN's death?? reflecting on all the things he never got to say, all the things they never got to do because they never got enough time together, 'i can give up my breath' all that time VR-LA spent alone on that empty ship fighting the thoughts of leaving it all behind.. (yells)
(Verse 2)
对不起
I'm sorry
不经意就在你的影子里活下去
It's so easy to live on in your shadow
我不在意
But I don't mind
不过是白日梦里一瞬息
It's nothing but a moment in a daydream
为何还起念动心
Why does my heart still stir?
怪你名字太熟悉
It's all because your name is too familiar
当我是一花一叶一春木
if I pretend I were a flower, a leaf, a spring sapling
可否回到世界之初
Can I return to the beginning of it all?
请 超度我
Please, set me free
Y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. or how he spends s2-s3 haunted by his old crew ('live on in your shadow' owwww). 'a moment in a daydream' VR-LA seeing MR-SN in overclock... being stuck in the horrible horrible headspace of the Zuggtemoy curse and finding comfort in this snippet of the captain he can barely remember.. 'your name is too familiar' i mean just look at the wish speech! he says it better than i ever could, it's getting the old crew's names from maxim that really sets VR-LA off on this whole journey to find them because even after the everything just their names is enough for him to remember how much he loved and still loves them!! augh
(Outro)
我的执念 万千千千
My obsessions, hundreds and thousands
放不下地 放不下天
I can't let go of the earth, I can't let go of the sky
我把红线折折剪剪
I cut and fold at the red strings
落入凡间镜重圆
I fall to the mortal realm to seek reunion
Again, y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. but also the last two lines as being MR-SN's POV, the 'red strings' being a reference to the red strings of fate (strings that tie lovers/soulmates together... aaa), MR-SN (or well, Mystra, I guess) literally defying fate so that they can meet again. 镜重圆 here is likely referring to 破镜重圆, a phrase that directly translates to "mending a broken mirror" and basically refers to couples (generally romantic) reconciling/reuniting after a breakup/some kind of separation which... i mean yeah thats literally just 3.7 huh. MR-SN coming back from the dead to give VR-LA closure and catharsis. anyway i'm gonna go lie on the floor now
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