#yeah i know skill issue and all that
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every now and then I get the urge to write a really serious story with darker themes and talks of old gods and prophecies and murder and sacrifice and trauma and horrors
and then i remember these are my blorbos
#sonicrambling#yeah i know skill issue and all that#but how could i put these guys through the horrors#my other guilty pleasure is whump#buT AGAIN#HOW COULD I DO THIS TO THEM
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s#how he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many#compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc#Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how they’re the key to getting better rights
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i'm now looking at my list of least favorite french words to pronounce and going "too many r's" for about 40% of them and "skill issue" for most of the rest. some of these are actually very fun to pronounce i just couldn't wrap my tongue around them a year or so ago, but now i can i guess??? so that's very exciting. makes me hope that someday i'll be able to pronounce the rest of them. this is a bit pie in the sky because i really don't see myself ever getting there with procureur du roi but you never know. and luckily the french abolished the monarchy so it's not like i'll ever have to use that phrase in modern conversation.
anyway here are the words i actually love pronouncing now: décaféiné diététicien filleul pneumonie
i now feel normal/neutral about these words that used to be hard for me: automne, condamner douloureux électricité, énergie inférieur, supérieur, etc. itinéraire lourdeur salmonellose sclérose subodorer succincte
words that are definitely within the realm of my current capability but i haven't practiced them enough: bugle hiérarchisation méditerranéen phtisie
words that are still the bane of my existence but i live in hope: [yʁ] plus at least one other r or [y] sound: chirurgie, fourrure, marbrure, moirure, nourriture, ordures, peinturlurer, procureur du roi, prurit, purpurin, sculpture, serrurerie, structure, sulfureux, tournure all words beginning with ur-, hur-, or sur- other difficult sequence of r's and vowels: construire and other -truire verbs; lueur and sueur; utérus too many r's: marbre, martre, meurtre, opprobre, proroger, réfrigérateur, rétrograde, rorqual difficult sequence of vowels and/or semivowels: coopérant, extraordinaire, hémorroïdal, kyrie eleison, météorologique, micro-ordinateur, micro-organisme, mouillure, quatuor, vanillier not pronounced the way i would expect from the spelling: indemne, penta-, punk just hard for some reason: humour
#girl you didn't like filleul????? get well soon damn#the french love writing about linden trees (tilleuls) so i've now had tons of practice with that sequence of sounds and love it#all the words that are hard for some reason other than r sounds is just a skill issue. and it makes sense because a lot of them are#not common words so when would i even be practicing them?#the words that are hard because of r sounds is also a skill issue but that's one that i don't know i will be able to fix through practice#i think i have maybe plateaued with my r sounds lol. but you never know!#bugle is a funky word. i want to love it. someday i will.#you'd think i would have méditerranéen down by now since it is a pretty common word. but it still trips me up. i'll get there#sur- words are bad because i just end up whistling the s?? i think i'm pronouncing the [y] too forward in the mouth#i just looked at my ladefoged and he's like 'rounding lowers the second formant so [y] sounds like it's between [i] and [u]'#but i think i'm trying too hard to get it really close to [i] and maybe overcompensating for the formant drop#and actually pronouncing [y] MORE forward in the mouth than [i]? that's my guess#french#fun with pronunciation#my posts#i deleted a couple words from the list if i couldn't remember why they were hard. filtre? what's so bad about filtre...#yeah folklore is a little weird in french but it's not like putting an l before a k is phonotactically illegal it's just unusual#and not at all difficult for an anglophone ultimately#lubrifiant? idk why i would have felt strongly enough about lubrifiant to go back in my drafts several pages to add it to the post#the rest of these though i can explain. électricité and énergie were hard because my mouth just automatically wanted to pronounce#the second vowel as é as well#automne and condamner were hard because you don't nasalize the vowel before the m AND you don't pronounce the m#these are now so normal to me that i can't get myself to remember the pronunciation of indemne (in which the m IS pronounced)
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"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"
ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well
which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal
also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"
but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)
#but i think we all agree that ppl pointing & going ''ugh poly shit ruining everything'' or ''aplatonic?? lmfao'' are heroes AND le epic#always feel free to circle around too to bi ppl who are Totally Basically Cishet AND Worse Enemies Really Than. Anyone Cishet#and i'm sure the ace exclusionism never ends for plenty of ppl. keep the logic but go ''oh well it's just still not That big a deal''#the experiences of being more vulnerable & exposed to exploitation of that? are the drivers of Deviation. your weird issues#MY blessed normativity. had enough of Family Friendship Romance that was all surely pleasant enough#popular enough / not bullied enough at school. i am now a good person based on vibes b/c to be Hurting anyone? well i would Know#why not go talk to the rando who was like ''racism is over b/c i have never invoked like Hey. White Person To White Person. give me#preferential treatment >;) & in fact now white people are Dispreferred etc etc'' ohh all the Special Treatment(tm) for Others....#again like the idea Abuse happens in some ''abnormal'' situation & simply being in ''normal'' ones will show victims the light#(already with the logic that ppl are in abusive situations b/c the victims need to Know Better & Take The Correct Actions finally)#(i.e. victim blaming / pathologize the individuals) like yeah the guarantee ppl don't just keep getting shat on is not there lol#the blessed normal ppl who are i guess natural healers i presume? Totally never ostracizing bullying & further treating as ''''weird''''#like the idea ohh autistic ppl are Bad At Interactions. oh shit interactions b/w autistic ppl go great? well uhh#then It's A Two Way Street except also being nt is Normal so autistic ppl need to ''learn social skills'' so Ableism Ends. their fault#same deal like sympathy & support from the supposed Primed To Harm fellow abused ppl?? while others are undermining & ostracizing? nahh#even getting to be ''alone'' i.e. either existing amid others but not there ''with'' anyone; or certainly Left Alone; way more Validating#and just more pleasant too like. even the abstract concept of [do xyz: with a friend group] :((( vs do it by yourself :)#''oh ppl don't want to have the Social Skills & exert the Effort to have a friend group?? that's that on Moral Failure'' Lol. truly.#good people are popular & bad people are ostracized in recognition of their unquestionably Questionable Weirdo Vibe. got their ass#if you can't / won't break something down beyond Normal/Weird. why. i'm questioninnnng....And queer.#like ''sounds just like something a Weird Ruinerrr (Disruptor) would say'' uh yeah i sure hope it does &c
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!
#I like this episode! Very good. Very b/sd.#It's just...#I just don't really like the narrative “everyone else is stupid and must be taken care of because they're too dumb to do it themselves”.#It just feels unnecessarily discriminatory.#I understand it could be what Ranpo wanted to hear in that moment‚ after a life of feeling like walking among monsters#... But to pretty much say everyone is lesser than him doesn't sound good at all tbh. And pretty anti-democratic.#Yeah I just really can't vibe with scorning and looking down upon everyone else even when it comes from a place of rightful frustration.#Sorry.#But it is very b/sd so there's that.#The fact that Ranpo is so soooo intelligent but also wasn't able to tell Fukuzawa was lying at him about his ability–#does feel a bit plot hole-y to me. Like I get Fukuzawa is very persuasive - he didn't even give Ranpo the time to get too sceptical -#And I get in a way Ranpo /wanted/ it to be true. Still it's been established soooooo much up to now that he can see through anything...#But maybe I can only complain ajsyfcsigeufleiub sorry. Again it was a very good episode and an heartwarming story#I also think the murder victim turning out to be alive is the most underwhelming result of any mystery plot but that's just me#Even then I think Tokio's character is an interesting one!! And I love theater#What else. Brilliant episode animation wise.#The black&white to colour is still probably the most witty original and beautiful thing the b/sd anime ever came up with#(Each instance of good animation makes me salty at s5ep3 but eh. Skill issue)#I love Egawa! (Is her name a play on Edogawa? The kanjis are the same 江川 / 江戸川)#To the next episode!! I can't wait to see Oda and Fukuchi 🥺🥺#random rambles#Idk I just think if someone is particularly good at something‚ whatever it is‚ they should still be humble.#Looking down on people automatically makes you look bad no matter what your abilities are.#But it's just me#Edit: “Out to keep the foolish masses safe” is such a reactionary phrase... C'mon now.........#Next thing you know they're taking away the right to vote from the people because the foolish masses are too dumb to elect 🤦♂️
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Still blows my mind that Rolin and the CD and everyone got this kind of chemistry when they did chemistry reads with people thousands of miles apart. I guess the whole "let's see how they interact when they're not acting" thing really works. Or Rolin is a witch.
I would 1000000% Rolin is in communication with An Entity, tbh.
#i am only half joking haha#but yeah i think it's a cross section of a knows-what-he-wants-showrunner#a VERY skilled and connected casting director who should be recceiving a million awards#and a variety of actors who either knew and loved the source material or who really connected to it after the fact#which makes sense tbh#a lot of people bag anne out but she actually is an incredible writer#who hasn't gotten half the credit she deserves due to personal drama / niche genre / lgbt themes / feminine prose#the latter of which is a huge issue and one i run into all the time#like#y'know#i'm relatively successful and i have had A Lot of Professional Conversations about my writing being Feminine#and i am not even on the spectrum of anne's success#welcome to my ama
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I am currently Going Through It trying to write a sexy times fic for a certain ship knowing full well that I'm just that rusty and not well-versed in writing those kind of stuff
#i have to do this though. no way i'm backing out now after the idea arrived to me at 3 am during my sleepless era a few days ago 😭#as for the ship. it's a wild prompt for a pretty tame ship that i recently liked... do you get why i'm about throw up trying to finish this#this is for a pokemon ship btw. you'll know for which one since it's a recent obsession of mine lmaoooo 😭🤚#anyway yeah. don't worry because this is just a mental skill issue on my part. i need to scream into the void for 5 seconds like akaashi#did in that mujinazaka match to get my mind together. trust that i'll come out to the stage like taeyang and his yeorobun speech when i do#manage to finish it. which i will in all due time. trust 👍👍👍#also wml!!!!!!!!!! i wanna finish this fic first before i move onto my hbslv stuff since i still have a mountain of ideas that i wanna write#for them too!!!! i miss them dearly but i just Have To scratch this itch first before i go back to my old love 🫡💗#personal
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Man..
#sorry i'm still upset about bridal sharena. like YEAH she's an incredibly powerful incredibly useful unit#pair her up w winter edelgard and the girlies are cleaning up tt maps extremely efficiently#and YEAH. she absolutely has nice art and huge win for the power of friendship. w veronica.#but man. it's like. i can't even enjoy my time w her.#due to. extremely specific things about me that are entirely a me issue and i can acknowledge that and own that.#it would probably feel less bad if like. sharena got literally anything else. in between now and her bunny alt.#like YEAH... she is the other half of the alfonse duo. which is the cutest shit and i love them so much#idk i know it's a non-problem. it feels dumb to make it a problem.#but genuinely like. i don't like using her w the animations on i don't really like checking the home screen dialogue#it's INTERESTING. for lore/characterization purposes. it's funny and charming bc ofc it is!!!#it's sharena and veronica ofc they're gonna be funny and charming!!!!!!! they are SO endearing to me#but god. i really do just. have problems. and it feels soooooo upsetting that like#my very specific problems are preventing me from enjoying WHAT SHOULD BE. something i should really like!!!!!!!#like there are NO problems w her!!!!!!!!!!!! the problem is ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna thrup#why didn't intsys consult me about this. the unemployable shut-in who runs a semi-obscure tumblr blog. in america#unbelievable..#like would i sound insane if i said marriage is like a trigger for me. like completely seriously and unironically.#like. again. it is such a non-issue. and all of it is on me to choose what i engage w that IS how managing your triggers works.#please please pleeeease don't misconstrue anything i'm saying i'm being vulnerable. rn. and petty. super fucking petty.#and obviously i can just. not use her. or use her minimally. but that's really not my point here i'm not looking for solutions#i'm just. expressing how uniquely upsetting this situation is. w how intense my askr sib interest is#w the fact that sharena IS. absolutely one of my fave charas. i adore her completely and she means so much to me#this feels like. a saw trap. made just for me.#idk again there is no solution here and i fully acknowledge this is a skill issue and realistically not even a problem.#but like. can anybody hear me. it's so dark in here.
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it is like. technically possible to hurt tims feelings but you usually have to try pretty hard
#sometimes people are mean to him and he straight up does not notice#but even if he did notice he probably would not care.#some people in fandom take it too far and act like he like. never had any issues with insecurity self worth etc and thats also not true but#its one of those seemingly-but-not-actually self-contradictory things#like yeah he knows hes generally well-liked. yeah he doesnt realize his wellbeing matters to people#yeah hes confident in even arrogant about his skills. yeah hes also deeply insecure about what he can bring to the table#and all of it ebs and flows btwn character arcs or btwn writers or just bc sometimes a person is more secure than others#but really all i wanted to post about was like.#rotating the guy. putting him in a jar. etc#dc#text#the point was just that like. mostly being mean to him completely rolls off his back shrug emoji. he simply doesnt care
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i have an exam tomorrow but i know my brain won't know rest until i post this. anyway i just looked up the lyrics to 超度我/set me free by floruitshow and i just. have to inflict this song onto other people it is so robits
(real quick one thing i will say is please listen to the song, i once described floruitshow as 'the perfect combination of classically trained and a little bit insane' and this song is 100% that vibe. like i cant promise you'll like it but i can promise that it probably won't sound like anything else you've heard before)
Also I'll only be translating the verses because the chorus is literally lines straight from the Diamond Sutra and explaining those is above my paygrade
(Verse 1)
来不及 There's no time left 最后一句想你来不及让你知道 No time left to say to you my last 'I miss you' 再也回不去 We can't ever return 那个有彩虹出现的下午 to that afternoon when the rainbow appeared 再也感受不到你温度 I won't ever feel your warmth again 如果你留我在梦里 If you left me in my dreams 我会放弃呼吸 I can give up my breath 请 超度我 Please, set me free
VR-LA during/after MR-SN's death?? reflecting on all the things he never got to say, all the things they never got to do because they never got enough time together, 'i can give up my breath' all that time VR-LA spent alone on that empty ship fighting the thoughts of leaving it all behind.. (yells)
(Verse 2)
对不起 I'm sorry 不经意就在你的影子里活下去 It's so easy to live on in your shadow 我不在意 But I don't mind 不过是白日梦里一瞬息 It's nothing but a moment in a daydream 为何还起念动心 Why does my heart still stir? 怪你名字太熟悉 It's all because your name is too familiar 当我是一花一叶一春木 if I pretend I were a flower, a leaf, a spring sapling 可否回到世界之初 Can I return to the beginning of it all? 请 超度我 Please, set me free
Y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. or how he spends s2-s3 haunted by his old crew ('live on in your shadow' owwww). 'a moment in a daydream' VR-LA seeing MR-SN in overclock... being stuck in the horrible horrible headspace of the Zuggtemoy curse and finding comfort in this snippet of the captain he can barely remember.. 'your name is too familiar' i mean just look at the wish speech! he says it better than i ever could, it's getting the old crew's names from maxim that really sets VR-LA off on this whole journey to find them because even after the everything just their names is enough for him to remember how much he loved and still loves them!! augh
(Outro)
我的执念 万千千千 My obsessions, hundreds and thousands 放不下地 放不下天 I can't let go of the earth, I can't let go of the sky 我把红线折折剪剪 I cut and fold at the red strings 落入凡间镜重圆 I fall to the mortal realm to seek reunion
Again, y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. but also the last two lines as being MR-SN's POV, the 'red strings' being a reference to the red strings of fate (strings that tie lovers/soulmates together... aaa), MR-SN (or well, Mystra, I guess) literally defying fate so that they can meet again. 镜重圆 here is likely referring to 破镜重圆, a phrase that directly translates to "mending a broken mirror" and basically refers to couples (generally romantic) reconciling/reuniting after a breakup/some kind of separation which... i mean yeah thats literally just 3.7 huh. MR-SN coming back from the dead to give VR-LA closure and catharsis. anyway i'm gonna go lie on the floor now
#rolling with difficulty#rwd starship#vr la rwd#im so. jahsfksjhdfkjh#my ears are kinda bad (read: auditory processing issues) so like.. for a lot of cpop songs with more poetic? fancy? lyrics#i tend to like just add them to my playlist even if i dont actually know what the lyrics are#esp since i listen to a lot of gufeng/'historical style' cpop because i like that genre's sound but the lyrics are EXTRA incomprehensible#so basically i had this song in my playlist for like.. about a year but i was never 100% on what the lyrics are#so yeah i looked up the lyrics today and uh. felt like i got hit by a train#funnily enough i now have a floruitshow song for all my robit favs! WHY DO THEY MAKE SUCH GOOD ROBIT MUSIC#set me free = VR-LA; him = MR-SN; how can i make you stay = maxim#considering im already making an animatic for him (and made a little animation snippet for how can i make you stay) its honestly like..#kinda.. tempting to just round out the trinity. like if i can make one animatic how hard can 2 more be? (famous last words)#also because like with the september patreon reward im even more convinced that how can i make you stay is just the maxim song of all time#its just that the diamod sutra chorus on this one kinda. complicates matters#and also because i saw an INCREDIBLE genshin animatic of this song on bilibili once and it HAUNTS me#i dont play genshin anymore i dont even like xiao it's just one of those things were like#the artistic merit on display is so impressive i have to respect the project on skill level alone#its *so good* like i cant fuckin. not even surpass i cant get anywhere *near* that. what the fuck??#intellectually i know thats not how art works but. hnnnGGG#its that animatic and noir (the other one)'s stultifer cantus mv thats like#on a tier list of all the animatics ive seen in my life theyre on the 'lose your fuckin mind beautiful' tier#Spotify
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the inability of the fandom to find a balance between diminishing the role of the human willpower and diminishing the capabilities of extradimensional gods strikes again
#some things should remain schrödingered forever#“is it zane or scratch?” yes#“did alan trapped himself or the dark place?” yes#yeah bro you're just a dumbfuck for self sabotaging we've already explained what to do in fucking songs. keep suffering#will we show you directly what to do? no. have some vague wording. and also you're tom now. reason – you must know yourself#all that rubs me the worst way cuz guess who has been mocked and yelled at for not knowing how to do things without normal instructions#mind you he had no idea he's a fucking parautilitirian. yeah you could just use your sage powers. you couldn't know about them? skill issue#yall just hindsight biased#try to find a meaning in the damn musical song when you keep dying and dying and dying#if you blame the guy for suffering and not the gods for getting mad at him when theyre the ones who have no clue how to say things directly#begone#and if you start the “ohh but that's not how it works in the dark place” bullshit then the dark place *does* have agency#and you just like making the insanity look stupid#no idea how to call this hill but i will die on it#it's not the hell of only alan's making#fuck all the godly vagueposting i fucking hate it. if you talk to the thing that perceives itself as human than talk to it like it's human#and don't blame the human for not following your instructions because they're fucking impossible to comprehend when you die as a hobby
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its so wild seeing how non mmo players exist and well. i dont like it!
#i saw an iceberg bass by and i. dont want to be anywhere near that iceberg#if youve never played over 100 hours of any mmo. i dont trust you or your opinions about video games tbh.#like sorry talking to people on a video game is scary. skill issue.#also. also. also. controversial opinion but subscription based games arent actually bad. shocking i know#its a super big pet peeve when people hate on mmos for being. mmos. like. what did you expect lol???#or they hate on mmos for. gasp. needing consistent funding to keep running#if i said my opinions about single player games yall would attack me with hammers#single player games are boring as FUCK#ive only ever beaten two singleplayer games and it was hollow knight and nier replicant#i cant bring myself to play any other ones cause theyre just not interesting#like in theory i like bg3 but in practice i cant. be fucking bothered#that game is just. Too Much#which is rich coming from a FFXIV player who LOVES Bozja but like#i love being around people at all times and i hate doing things alone on the account of the autism#and unless i drag people into playing bg3 with me when i want to play it its just not worth it#i have to figure out the systems by myself and i have no motivation to keep playing (yeah i could just google it but. thats not my point)#like honestly. singleplayer games make me feel like im wasting my time.#why would i play bg3 by myself when i could be afk in limsa watching people argue in shout chat. which is much more fun
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i do not think irony is the right word however it is a bit funny silly haha that i am textings #1 hater forever <- wont ask people to talk on the phone
#it is funny i am laughing about this like genuinely#i ghink the only person i actively reguarly do is ares#listen#iyam just. a tiny bit scared to ask people. unfortuately shy and whatever#you get hit with the 'why do you ALWAYS want to be on the phone its so annoying' once. sticks with you forever.#i am just less afraid of annoying ares that is all. everyone else yeah SORRY </3#i know its like a skill issue on my end and like people can say no etc etc#however. logical brain does not always listen.
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I am violently wrestling Evan Buckley out of Tim Minear's hands until that man can give him a love interest who doesn't just fuck off at random okay thanks.
#im . .. genuinely annoyed#by the idea that tommy is gonna be another one-and-done situation#literally what was the fucking point of it all then?#no let me guess.#tommy is going to see something at the bachelor party between buck and eddie#and decide all at once that buck is just too much for him#or that buck cant be ready for tommy because of eddie#which is such bullshit#even if there was any canon confirmation that buck likes eddie (which there HASNT BEEN. buddie shippers pipe down)#(inferrence is not the same as confirmation)#that doesnt mean that buck cannot have a meaningful relationship with anyone else#ESPECIALLY since Eddie is currently straight AND TAKEN#ESPECIALLY!!! when buck has stated bluntly that he WANTS TO BE WITH TOMMY#but no yeah this is a great fucking plan guys. give the abandonment issues baby queer MORE abandonment#GREAT writing skills you guys. really. top marks. fuck off.#look obviously i dont know what will happen#all of this is based on that one snippet saying that it looks like tommy wont be around after 7x06#but if this is another abby situation. another ali. another taylor. another natalia... then what the fuck was the point?#oliver kept telling us this would be the season where Buck breaks the cycle. but theyve still got him on that fucking hanster wheel.#coming back to this hours later bc i forgot to add actually relevant tags whoops#911 abc#911 on abc#evan buckley
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honestly I think it'd be so funny if this split was bad enough that my fp is no longer my fp actually
#➳ the fool speaks#<- fine again but still this was Somethinf so I'm gonna be talking about it lmao#skill issue if uu have a problem w that#but like !!! yeah idk maybe my view of my fp is kinda skewed . it's a possibility (it very very much is to an unhealthy degree)#sooooo like . maybe . this whole thing doesn't matter that much actually .#but hey who knows how I'll feel tmrw or the day after or whatever i might just be feeling A-Okay bc i just sobbed#and nyeow I'm feeling all . neutral . reasonable . etc etc . but I'd like to believe I am capable of losing a fp attachment without like#actually cutting contact ! right ! I'm capable of doing that !!! right !!!!!!!!
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high approval lavellan instantly gets so much more viscerally upsetting when u give them an ancient elven ancester oc who was friends w solas. btw.
#oc: ashara#worlds least subtle oc loredump segue <3#ashara's family name is dhavise. which is the name of her forebearer and source of her family's crazy pyromancy skill + mental illness lol#he's another black haired dragon loving freak with severe anger management issues <3#and by dragon loving freak i do mean reaver btw <3 mans was slurping dragon blood like capri suns#which i think helps explain some things abt ashara's whole present day family JKHGFD#ANYWAY i feel like he and solas werent THAT close. by virtue of dhavise being so unhinged it was probably a liability#but they were friends :( everything he lacked in sense and self control he made up with loyalty and love#do i think solas tried to track the lineage of all his surviving friends after everything went down? yes i do#do i wish i lived in a timeline where i'd never forced myself to think about that? also yes <3#HHHHHHHHHHHHHH#IM SO ATTACHED TO THIS OC AND I CANT EVEN DEVELOP HIM BC WE KNOW NOTHING ABT ARLATHAN </3#he would be so proud of ashara tho. hes like haha YEAH break some more stuff girl !#once again: HHHHHHHHHHH
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