#yeah anyway posting this. think about my lizards now.

[sparky-is-spiders]

How Likely is Death by Lizard?

This idea popped into my head and I had to do it. Chart of how likely my beloved bastard lizard OCs are to kill you, a random lizardverse civillian. Under a cut for length lol.

Before we begin, a few assumptions about the scenario:

You are a member of the lizardverse, because a human would lose against every single guy on this chart. Species is unspecified, just assume it's a Lizardverse species.

You are of average strength for that species, and have average magical and/or psychic abilities.

You do NOT have divine power from any of the gods.

You do NOT have any weapons beyond whatever abilities your species already has.

You have no prior relationship to any of these lizards, and they have no prior knowledge of you. This is how likely they are to kill you immediately upon meeting you with no influencing factors.

And Now, the Chart:

The Y axis measures capacity. It is how capable of murder a lizard is purely based on their strength and powers. Characters near the bottom are weaker, characters near the top are stronger (and again, we're assuming you have average strength and abilities in the Lizardverse setting)

The X axis measures willingness. This is how much they would want to do murder. Characters near the left are very unwilling, characters nearer the right are very willing.

You are at exactly average strength on the Y axis. Where you would be on the X axis is up to you.

The difference between "If You Provoked them Somehow" and "Only if it Benefited them" is that for the former, you would actively need to do something to make them want to kill you, and for the latter you could literally just be existing and as long as it furthered their own ends they would try to merc you on the spot.

Alright! Chart time:

Character Explanations:

(From left to right, top to bottom)

Veskieryaer - Literally a god, incredibly powerful. So weighed down by grief that it doesn't care anymore. It's just so tired, you guys. Could theoretically turn your brain into soup with a single pulse of electricity but would basically never be bothered to do it.

Leoshgon (w/ Sword) - Leoshgon while wielding the Godslayer Sword. Capable of reducing cities to rubble but only every so often. Slowly being consumed by the power of the sword. No qualms about murder but doesn't seek it out either. Would absolutely kill you if provoked. Or if the Overseer asked him to. Or if you were in one of the cities the Overseer told him to melt.

Amaldyne (Revenant) - Goddess of a new world, hooked into a system designed for ancient power. Trying so very hard to fight the part of her that wants to devour all of reality. She's so hungry. She's so hungry. But she's trying so hard. Would let you go, but maybe don't stick around...

She is the only known Divine Champion of the god Hunger (the Locust) in all of history.

The Godslayer* - Vesk's stronger, deadlier sister. Full of Rage. Wants to burn everything down and start again from the ashes. Absolutely, 1000% capable of that too. Would kill anyone on sight but if it helps it wouldn't be personal, and you'd be in good company (read: literally everyone else).

*Technically not on the chart, should be several degrees higher.

Raven - Older than every other Champion. Would never kill without provocation, but wouldn't hesitate to draw her blade either.

Divine Champion of the god Justice (the Beetle)

The Terrible Silence - All things will end, and they shall do so when her master reigns, but in the meantime she does not revel in death or violence. She has never wanted to destroy, only to see destruction. She would not kill you. It is not a mercy.

Divine Champion of the god Destruction (the Antlion)

Corvid** - No qualms about murder. Absolutely none. It's sort of her job, really. Would also kill if it made her life easier, or for dramatic effect. LIVES for drama, really. Doesn't go after random passers by usually, but she does tend to cause a lot of collateral damage...

Divine Champion of the god Vengeance (the Mantis)

**Also has a hair-trigger temper (see: Divine Champion of the Mantis). Most likely to kill you purely by accident (and then not care).

The Overseer - When you're a necromancer, it's generally very beneficial to have more people dead than alive, generally speaking. He'd much rather a perfect rotting puppet than a living breathing being. But if you could convince him of your usefulness, or of the benefits of keeping him alive... well. Maybe he would just let you go.

Divine Champion of the god Control (the Hive)

The Golden Mask - A strange creature, with unusual powers and no obvious connection to any of the seven gods... everything they do is to benefit themselves. Are you going to be more useful as a tool, or as a corpse? Choose wisely

Amaldyne (pre-death) - Powerful, certainly. Dangerous, certainly. She is hungry, yes, but it drives her to do good. To BE good. Despite the slipups, despite her friends turning away from her, turning ON her. But she’s functioned this long. She could resist the call to devour. She has resisted it before. But sometimes sacrifices need to be made. Sometimes she just needs to eat. Let’s hope that when you meet her, she’s well-fed and on her way.

Divine Acolyte of Hunger (the Locust)

Askavenenoth - If her love wants to see this world in ashes then she will reduce it to cinders. She is so angry, so scared, she spent so long powerless in this world of gods and monsters. She will see destruction reign, and the Terrible Silence descend upon the land. If you meet her know that you do so on the battlefield and that she does not have mercy.

Divine Acolyte of the god Destruction (the Antlion), knight and lover to the Terrible Silence

Eityr - with hindsight, placed much too far right (I’m too lazy to change it now). She spent long, long years without even a modicum of free will or control and now she cast all those things aside. No laws shall limit her, nothing shall ever again fasten a leash around her throat and tell her to heel, and Amaldyne shall be the key to this freedom. She is quick to violence, and will not hesitate to follow each whim. If she does choose murder, plead your case to Amaldyne.

Divine Servant torn between the gods Knowledge and Destruction (the Scorpion and the Locust), would-be Divine Champion of Amaldyne

Drakkus - His name means “traveler,” and he chose it himself. A very easy-going guy, believes firmly in right and wrong (although he has something of a vain, selfish streak). He is also a tremendously skilled fighter who would not hesitate to defend himself, should the need arise. You’d need to put some effort in, but not too much.

Leoshgon (pre-sword) - Flightless and weak in dragonflame, he is a stain on House Varmillius. He is weaker than many (but not all), and has no interest in killing. He knows he probably couldn’t, and anyway why should he bother? The Godslayer Sword and the destiny it promises await him, he has no reason to resort to violence unless it was his only option.

Leoshgon (post-sword) - the sword drained him. His life. His dragonflame. Now he has only sparks left. He has met destiny and then gone past it, and has found nothing but bitter disappointment on the other side. He’s not inclined to violence, but he can manage if he must. All he wants is to really, finally live, even if it means snatching the opportunity from others first.

[clementine-kesh]

my vision for the voyager crew’s response to b7 is that b’elanna and seven start having wild illicit hookups in the jeffries tubes like full on sweaty, disheveled, hands clamped over mouths kind of sex and b’elanna has no idea what to do about it and doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it outright so she sort of hints about it to tom and harry like “what would you do if you were hooking up with your rival” and tom’s like “well it’s not gay if it’s your rival” to which b’elanna’s like “who said anything about it being gay or not” and harry just stares off into the distance thinking about the time he had gay sex with his rival (wesley crusher) at the academy. and like harry could probably help b’elanna out but he’s too caught up thinking about wesley at the moment because like three months ago wesley materialized in his quarters to be like “remember that time you said the theory i proposed for breaking the warp 10 barrier was flawed? well guess what asshole i’m omnipotent now and know all the secrets of the universe and i was right” and harry was like “yeah well we tried that and it turned our pilot into a fucking lizard” and wesley was like “a what” and harry was like “a lizard, dude, i thought you were omnipotent” and wesley just 😐🫥 and disappeared without even offering to use his traveler powers to help voyager out. ok sorry this post got away from me i got distracted imagining stupid gayboy beef. anyways none of this is actually helpful to b’elanna so she goes to chakotay instead and he’s like “don’t worry about it too much that’s completely normal for rivalries, tuvok and i have sex all the time”

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 2

Part 1

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

---

"Hey, look, if this is some kind of Halloween prank-"

"It's not a prank!" Dustin insists. "Look-"

He fumbles at his chest, and Steve realizes what he's doing just before he pulls his heart out.

"Woah, hey, hey, don't go bringing that out with cat eating lizards around!" Steve tells him.

"It's not a lizard!" Dustin says.

It's dark, and Steve can't see the details of his heart all that well, but he can see the way it beats - racing a little, from the danger, but still steady. No hint of deception.

"See? Not a lizard, not a prank. It's one of those things again, Steve, only a baby one. A demodog."

Great.

"All right, I believe you, now just - put that away before it gets eaten."

Somewhat to Steve's surprise, Dustin obeys, tucking his heart back inside his chest.

"Now you," Dustin says.

"What? No way."

"Come on!" Dustin whines. "I showed you mine."

"Yeah, cause you're the one with something to prove," Steve reminds him. "I'm the one you suckered into this, and there's no way I'm taking my heart out with a demodog lurking around. Just stay up here, okay? I'll go take care of this."

—

Max Mayfield has her heart securely inside her chest even before she believes any of them about the Upside Down.

There's not that many reasons kids that young wouldn't wear their hearts pinned to their shirts, or poking out of one pocket or another, but Steve can think of a few.

He hadn't expected to get saddled with another kid when he let Dustin into his car, but she slides right in like she was one of them the whole time.

And if he makes sure he doesn't ask what she's doing here, if he just starts working on shoring up the bus and treats her like she belongs there right from the start, that's between him and her.

When she asks him if he's really fought one of these things before, for a moment he thinks about pulling his own heart out so she can see for herself.

But there's a monster prowling around outside, and getting caught with his heart out isn't going to help him protect these kids.

Besides, when he makes sure the demodogs target him, when he throws himself in front of the kids - he hopes that's more of an indication of who he is, who he wants to be, than his slightly battered heart could ever show.

—

If Steve's honest, he's not entirely sure how they get back to the Byers’ from the tunnels. He knows he drives, knows Max complains in his ear the whole time about how he drives like a grandma, knows every time he glances over at her there's a sullen, almost fearful expression on her face, like she's afraid he's going to yell at her or keel over and pass out in the middle of the road.

He's not ruling out the second one.

But they make it, and they beat everyone else back. Billy's still unconscious in the living room, and the house is eerily silent for about a minute before Steve catches himself.

“Hands washed, everyone,” he calls out. “Hands and arms and any exposed skin. And make sure you gargle with mouthwash.”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Mouthwash?”

Steve points at him. “Mouthwash has alcohol in it, you little shit, it might kill any gross Upside Down bacteria you breathed in. But hey, you want to be tasting that place for a week, be my guest.”

There's a moment of silence, then everyone scurries to fight over one of the sinks.

Steve waits until they're all done before following his own advice, then finally sinks down onto the couch with a groan.

Dustin hands him a bag of mostly still frozen vegetables, probably picked up from the kitchen where they'd dumped everything to put the demodog in the freezer. Steve grimaces at the thought of Mrs. Byers coming home to that, but slaps the bag on his head anyway.

It helps, a little.

There's an argument about what to do with Billy that Steve only half listens to. Max apparently threatened him with Steve's bat after she snuck up and stabbed him with the syringe, which - shit, good for her. Steve's guessing that'll make Billy think twice before he messes with her.

He stays out of the argument, though. He already knows the only answer is going to be let Hopper deal with it.

Admittedly, when Hopper and everyone else does come back, Steve's a little out of it. He's on his feet at the sound of cars approaching, baseball bat in his hand and urgently gesturing for the gremlins to stay the fuck behind him.

If his reflexes were any less dulled by the aching pain at the back of his head, he might have taken a swing when the door opened before he realized who it was.

But fortunately, he just sags with relief, and returns to his spot on the couch with the bat resting against his knee.

It's only when he hears the kids all trying to talk over each other that he realizes someone must have asked them what happened.

Steve pries his eyes open - unsure when he even closed them, shit - to find Mrs. Byers staring at him, clearly concerned. He jolts with the surprise of seeing her so close, and doesn't quite manage to hide his wince of pain, judging by her expression.

“Steve, honey?” she asks.

It sounds like a prompt to answer the question he didn't hear, and he grimaces.

“I'm the babysitter,” is what manages to make its way out of his mouth. “Nothing is getting at those little gremlins without going through me.”

Mrs. Byers looks at him in a way he doesn't really recognize, something between soft and sad and - proud, maybe? Like maybe he did something right, even though it makes her sad.

She holds out her hands, and helps pull him to his feet when he takes them.

“Let's get you patched up,” she says, leading him back to the master bedroom.

He sits on the bed while she gets a first aid kit from the bathroom, watching her through a faint, blurry haze as she takes a closer look at him.

“I didn't win,” he says, feeling a little bit ashamed.

Her eyes go a little bit wet, and she makes a soft tsk noise. “Oh, honey. Winning doesn't matter.”

That throws him so badly that he just stares up at her.

“It doesn't?” he asks, once he's accepted that he's probably not going to get his thoughts in any kind of order.

“That sounds like your father talking,” she says, but her voice is gentle as she starts cleaning up the blood on his face.

“You don't think he's right? That I should be more like him?” The question is out before Steve really realizes - out before he really thinks about it, out before he can admit that he doesn't want to know the answer.

Mrs. Byers pulls back a little, looking at him. “Can I see your heart?”

His hands are at his chest so quick that he fumbles with it, and by the time he pulls it out - it's the same dark red as always, despite the deep, jagged crack running through it, and it pulses unsteadily with his uncertainty.

“No one's asked to see it in a long time,” he says, awkwardly trying to explain away the wobbly beat of his heart in his hands.

She looks sad again, for a moment, then she pulls her own out. It's a slightly paler red, lined with thin silver scars, and it's beating a little fast - adrenaline, he thinks - but it's steady, and it's redder than any adult he's ever seen.

“What happened tonight, Steve?” she asks softly.

“They were in danger,” he replies, because it's the simplest, truest explanation.

“And you protected them.” It's half a statement, half a question, and he tears his gaze away from her heart to find her still looking at him, her eyes dark and warm.

“Yeah,” he says, his heart starting to pump a little more steady against his palms.

Like he said to Nancy - he might have been a shitty boyfriend, but he's a damn good babysitter. Those kids are his.

“Might not be much,” he admits, fully aware she's just coming back from fighting some being from an alternate dimension trying to get her son, and there's a whole girl with super powers out there getting dog piled by her friends. “But it's me between them and anything else, Upside Down or whatever. All of them.”

Just in case she wasn't sure if that included Will or not.

Her eyes drop down to his heart, beating steady and sure - and then she leans in, pressing their foreheads together for a moment before she pulls back.

“You're a good kid,” she says, and her heart beats strong, saying true, true, true. “You're as much like your father as Jonathan is like his, and that's a good thing.”

His heart spasms in his hands, and he curls his fingers in a little like he can hide it, though he doesn't even attempt to put it away.

“I was mean to him,” he admits in a rush. “Last year.”

Mrs. Byers snorts. “You were sixteen,” she informs him. She tucks her heart back into her chest, and gets back to work on patching him up. “He said you apologized, and he's forgiven you.”

Steve doesn't stop her, still doesn't try to put his heart back in his chest. “I didn't finish apologizing, though. It doesn't mean anything if you just say you're sorry, and you don't say what for.”

He knows, because before his dad stopped apologizing at all - he'd always say he was sorry, but he'd never say why. Like he knew his mom or Steve were upset at him, and he knew he had to apologize to get them to not be upset, but he didn't actually give enough of a shit to figure out the why.

Or to stop doing it, but at least Steve managed that one.

“I think your actions were a little more important to him than your words,” Mrs. Byers says, like she can read his mind.

Steve doesn't know what to say to that, so he just lets her finish patching him up.

—

“Kids say Billy Hargrove put his hands on Lucas first,” Hopper says.

Steve scoffs. “Yeah, that's one way of putting it.”

Hopper looks at him, long enough that Steve feels his stomach start to squirm a little. “What's your way of putting it, then?”

“Hargrove's a piece of shit,” Steve says bluntly, too tired and in pain to care. “Come on, Hopper, you know exactly why he targeted Lucas out of all of them.”

Hopper's jaw sets. “I do. And Lucas doesn't want to press charges. So. How do we convince Hargrove to stay the hell away?”

Steve opens his mouth, closes it again, and swallows roughly. “You want me to help figure it out? Why?”

Hopper raises his eyebrows at him. “Seems like you've already been doing a pretty good job at it.”

It's a good thing he'd put his heart back in his chest, because Steve wouldn't want Hopper to see the way it beats a little quicker.

It's strange, having this much adult attention on him. Having people who ask to see his heart, who tell him that he did a good job, who give a shit, even if it's only because Steve's gotten himself involved in all of this mess.

He likes it, he thinks. He likes being seen as someone who can be counted on, someone who can help protect the kids, more than he'd ever liked being seen as popular.

“I could arrest him, easy,” Hopper says. “But something tells me he's used to getting in trouble with the police, and it'll just make him more pissed off.”

“We don't want to get him in trouble,” Steve says slowly, thinking it over. “We want to make sure he knows we're the only reason he's not in trouble.”

Hopper grunts, looking at him expectantly, and Steve realizes it's a silent encouragement to continue.

“If it seems like you're going to arrest both of us, he'll be more willing to work with me on something that'll keep us both out of trouble. He knows I won't want it to get back to my dad or to Coach, but he won't want it to get back to his dad even more. We just have to make sure he knows he has just a little bit more to lose than I do.”

Hopper's looking at him still, in a way that Steve can't figure out.

“It's high school,” he says, feeling the need to - to offer some kind of explanation, some kind of excuse for why he knows how to do this.

“It's politics,” Hopper says, a little wry, a little bitter.

“It's bullshit,” Steve spits out, the word tasting like a chewed up rubber band.

“Damn straight it is,” Hopper agrees. “But it's reality. Sometimes - sometimes you have to play by other people's rules, do things you know are bullshit, make some deals.”

His eyes flicker, back towards the living room, and Steve wonders what deals he's had to make to keep the government off their backs, to keep El hidden and safe.

“I hate it,” Steve says, soft and raw.

He's never admitted that to anyone else, and he has no idea why he says it now, but it makes Hopper's mouth twist a little, something like understanding in his eyes.

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

That's why it's him and Hopper out here, Steve thinks. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to, sometimes you have to play their bullshit game to get what you want. Something slides a little bit into place - knowing that he isn't alone, that what he wants isn't any of the pointless things he used to do this for.

It's to protect this weird little group that, somehow, have become the most important people in his life.

“You're our babysitter now, right?” Hopper asks after a few minutes. “Make sure he knows that. Knows it's my kid that he's messing with if he comes after them or you again.”

“Yeah,” Steve says with a nod. “Yeah, that'll work.”

—

Billy wakes up next to him in the backseat of Hopper's car, hands cuffed behind him. It takes him a minute to clock onto where he is, and a minute longer to realize that Steve's next to him, also in cuffs.

“Who the fuck called the cops?” he hisses at Steve.

Steve shrugs. “How the hell should I know? Neither of us were exactly conscious at the time, thanks to you.”

Billy sneers at him. Steve can see him trying to collect himself through the haze of the sedative wearing off. “Here's how this is going to go. You want to keep it from happening again, you do exactly what I-”

Steve laughs at him. “Dude. They did a drug test already. Where did you even get the stuff you were on?”

Billy goes still. It sets Steve's teeth on edge - it's the same still he'd felt sitting in the junkyard, waiting for Dart. But he knows what he has to do now just as much as he did then, and he lets himself sulk as he leans back against the seat and watches Billy think.

If he says Max drugged him against his will - one, he's admitting to the fact that a thirteen year old girl got the best of him, and two, he has to be smart enough to know that Max would never admit to that, and the kids would all back her up. Billy was the one who showed up looking for a fight, Billy was the one who threw the first punch, Billy was the one who smashed a plate over Steve's head - no way in hell the cops believe him over the kids.

Billy scoffs. “Guess I better spread the word that the Freak is lacing his shit with who the fuck knows what.”

Shit, of course that's where Billy goes. Steve scrambles for a moment, then fixes him with an unimpressed look.

He can salvage this. Munson is pretty much the only supplier around, most of the guys aren't willing to mess with him too much - and if Billy does try to spread it around, it won't be too hard to add onto the rumor that it's just because Billy did something to piss Munson off.

“Maybe you should be nicer to him,” he says with a snort. “Munson always gives me the good stuff.”

Billy just snarls at him. It's clear he's got his story, and he's going to go with it.

Steve shrugs - or as best as he can, with his injuries and his hands cuffed behind his back. “Your funeral, man.”

“The fuck are you talking about,” Billy grumbles.

“You're going to tell the cops that you bought shitty drugs from the Freak, went on a bender, tried to attack some little kids, and beat the shit out of a teammate?” Steve asks.

“Shut your fucking mouth, Harrington, I'm going to-” he pauses, and Steve sees the moment that he clocks what Steve is saying.

It doesn't matter how Billy tries to phrase it to the cops to make himself look better - that isn't the story that's going to get around.

“You breathe one word of that around school, and you're dead,” Billy says.

Steve takes it back. This is nothing like that junkyard - Billy may actually try to kill him, but he has nothing on demogorgons and demodogs. Steve isn't scared of him.

“Yeah, because that won't prove any of it true.” Steve smirks, unconcerned that it makes his lip split open. “You put one hand on me and it just backs it all up.”

“Can't exactly gloat about that from a hospital bed. You'll be the one taking a beating that makes this seem like a walk in the park,” Billy replies, his tone low and menacing.

Steve thinks of the sound of the kids screaming on that bus, the sound of flesh splitting open when the demodog peeled its face apart, the endless fangs dripping saliva as it shrieked at him. He meets Billy's gaze and holds it. “I look like I give a shit, Hargrove?”

Billy looks at him - really looks, and Steve sees a flicker of something in his eyes. It isn't jealousy, it isn't recognition, it isn't fear, it isn't hate, it isn't want - Or maybe it is, maybe it's all of them. Maybe Steve is too tired and far too concussed for this.

Maybe his lack of ability to give a single fucking shit about Billy Hargrove and his threats is what gets him through this.

“So what's the play?” Billy asks, biting the words out as though it physically pains him to say them.

“We were blowing off steam, got a little too carried away. But it's all good now. You and me, we're square.”

Billy considers that, and he looks - comfortable. He looks like this is something he's done before, and briefly Steve wonders how many times Billy's gotten into fights, gone way too far, and had to hash out something like this to keep from getting busted.

“Yeah, all right,” Billy says. “Stay out of my way, I'll stay out of yours.”

“And stay the fuck away from the little shits I babysit,” Steve says. “I hear from any of them that you've been giving them trouble, and the deal's off.”

Billy sneers at him again. “No one told me King Steve spends his free time babysitting.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, bet no one told you that one of them belongs to the chief of police, either.”

Billy's eyes narrow. “You're watching Hopper's kid?”

Steve shrugs, nonchalant in a way that he knows will work better than trying to lie.

“Fine,” Billy says, sounding pissed as hell about it. You've got a deal.”

–

Billy gets released and peels out in his Camaro, loud music already blaring from the window.

Steve, on the other hand, gets a ride home from Hopper himself.

He doesn't hate it.

“Second time in less than two years that I've seen you with a busted up lip.”

Steve's got a hell of a lot more than a busted up lip right now, but he's not gonna say that. “Yeah, well. I deserved the one last year.”

Hopper raises his eyebrows at him.

Steve resists the urge to slouch in his seat. “I was angry, and hurt, so I got mean. I wanted Jonathan to fight me.”

Hopper snorts something that sounds like teenagers.

It's quiet for a moment, then Steve says, “But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to be mean when I'm angry.”

Hopper's looking at him in a way Steve can't make out, not in just the muted light of the streetlamp. That seems to be a theme for the night - Steve'd thought he was a little off last year when Jonathan socked him in the face, but apparently that has nothing on a concussion like this.

“So… I'm trying,” Steve adds softly.

Hopper shakes his head. “If I'd have figured that out when I was your age, who knows where I'd be?”

He sounds - proud, or something like it. He sounds like Steve's favorite coach, when Steve'd done well.

“Maybe,” Steve says. “But I think we all like you right here.”

Hopper snorts. “Jesus, kid, get out of here. Go put something better on that head than a bag of half frozen peas.”

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

-----

Part 3

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert

[the-uninformed-zennial]

Bound SMP Characters Coded as TMA Fears:

(I think @sniffingstarss already did one of these here, so you should go check that post out. But here are my personal thoughts because I have a returned hyperfixation and a new character and I need to get them ouuuut)

Armor: The Flesh

He literally got turned from bird to lizard. Idk what you want from me.

Ashril: (redacted)

Teehee

Ava: The Desolation

Something something traveling to find your long lost sibling figure and doing everything you can to protect them indicates you probably have a really strong fear of losing them… but also I just think Ava should get to burn things, for funsies.

Cosie: The Corruption

I feel like it fits cause of the sickness with her brother and (redacted).

Erin: The Stranger

Not knowing who you are?? Not remembering things you should?? Bestie, the stranger’s got you in a chokehold.

Gaverin: Darkness/the lonely

I think Gaverin’s fears lie at the intersection of the Dark and the Lonely. Being never fully seen, being never fully known, always just a pretty thing who is admired but not heard.

Marcel: The Buried

What’s worse for a guy who likes to travel around than being stuck in one place forever?

Mojave: The Eye

This little guy just wants to hear everyone’s stories and I’m sure that’s all

Pietro: The Slaughter

Okay so Pietro’s is specifically the Slaughter but in the sense of the attacker, not the victim. Just- the fear of being consumed by one’s own nature.

Rune: The Vast

A love of flying?? A fear of falling?? Welcome to the Vast my friend. (Plus it’s funny cause… yk… gay)

Sylph: The Stranger/The Lonely

There’s nothing lonelier than not even knowing who you are or where you came from. (Plus the whole changing last names thing, and the little conversation they had with Vast when the island fell during the race)

Talesin: The Spiral

🧍🫵 Michael Distortion 🌀

Vast: The Hunt/The End

He’s so afraid of turning from hunter to hunted. And he’s so worried that doing so will not only condemn her, but everyone else too.

Virgil: The Eye

Paranoid little motherfu- Heyyyy how’re the conspiracy theories going?



Anyway, these are not canon and absolutely just based on my own silly little observations so please take them with a grain of salt (and fight me about them, I wanna hear y’all’s thoughts).

But yeah!! I’m part of Bound SMP now! I’m so excited to get to share Mojave’s story with you all and I hope you guys will stay tuned for all of the exciting stuff we have in store for ya! 💕💕

[therantingsage]

Blogtember prompts 11-20, once again courtesy of @mod-jazzy / @jazzy-art-time! Had some fun ones this time around!

Once again, elaborations under the cut:

Day 11: Tbh I try to make most of my OCs easy to draw so I wasn't sure who to pick for this. Ended up deciding on Neura, because she really takes no effort.

Day 12: I wouldn't say Maximus is by any means the most difficult character to draw, but I distinctly remember hating having to draw him back when totemrodents was still around. His shape was annoying and I could never keep the size of his ears consistent. So I felt it would be fitting to give it one more go for old times sake.

Day 13: painted-pokes barely existed, it got zero asks and like 6 followers total, but I remember liking the vague ideas I had about the characters and setting. But looking back on the last post I ever made on there, I realized how AWFUL it looked and just NEEDED to do it more justice. Hi Inverse bye Inverse

Day 14: Paleo is the character who gets the most physical abuse in all of my blogs I'm pretty sure. I didn't want to draw how he lost his foot, cuz that's a major plot spoiler. And I didn't want to draw the scene where he got the back scar, because I couldn't figure out the framing for it. So instead. Future injury :) I'm not elaborating :)

Day 15: Haha anyway happy family on the beach! Once I get to the part of fugamsemidei's plot where they go on their Plate Quest it's gonna be so fun to draw. Much more levity in that part of the plot

Day 16: Hi Jazzy!!!!!! Hi hi hi Jazzy I drew your lizard!!!!! I wouldn't say Jody's blog is my favorite blog of yours, I honestly couldn't tell you what my favorite is I like them all a lot (gun to my head I'd probably say wastelandlabs or flakenrudy). But! Jody is your favorite blorbo and I've never actually drawn proper Jody fanart for you!!!!!! So here she is!!!!!!!

Day 17: I don't think I've ever elaborated on Cootenany? He's a Xatu/Absol hybrid who lives in the facility. He's like half the reason most of the plot happens. I cut out the part of the conversation telling the ACTUAL prophesy he's giving right here cuz I want to keep that a secret for later, but I at least wanted to draw him cuz I don't think I have more than once.

Day 18: I thought really hard about it but I don't think I really.....cut out parts of stories very much? Or at least if I do I usually do it early enough in the plotting stage that nothing but random thoughts exist of it. So the only thing I could come up with for this one was Spoop the Ditto. Initially they were just....a regular Ditto with nothing special going on? Just the youngster of my Phantump group. But now they're like. An actual character with plot importance in lots of places. Idk when I'm ever getting to that but it's something.

Day 19: I have definitely not mentioned either of them anywhere, but all my blogs are in the same universe! And this is the og Arceus and Mew of that Universe! Dhaha and Leonen! The only blog I think they'll ever be relevant in is fugamsemidei for obvious reasons but yeah. Them. They're buddies :3

Day 20: Lucy...oh no Lucy, your whimsy....they stolt it away from u....

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, May 12, 2024

My posts

Your head is hurting and your wifi is out because the biggest solar flare/geomagnetic storm in 20 years hit this weekend. I didn’t actually get to see the aurora borealis, but apparently it really did come down as far as Alabama. 

I admit that this was an extremely glib reply. But like, Athena specifically doesn’t like people claiming they’re better than her, so you can imagine the carnage when you throw in two more goddesses as well.  

(I feel like that post happened a month ago. This week has felt so ungodly long.)

Reblogs of interest

Hot Vintage Lady Bracket: Round 6. Eight polls. Poll Mod immediately chose violence and put Marilyn Monroe against Hedy Lamarr. Since Ava Gardner is out (actual shockers: Greta Garbo and Rita Hayworth are also gone), I was going to say “I’m just Chaos Elmo Flames Dot Gif about it all” but now I’m just scared. 

(Why would you ask us, a hot vintage poll blog, this)

Dracula Daily is in full swing again, and you can eat along!

The Met Gala was honestly decent this year! I reblogged only (some of) the ones I liked, including some of the construction details and a lot of Zendaya, although my favorite might have been Rebecca Ferguson with the crows. 

A while back and not what he wore to the Gala, but: Lil Nas X looking beautiful in a rose garden.

Hozier Watch 2024: I really thought there wasn’t going to be anything else and then he was like, “Oh I should probably put out a video for my accidental international #1.” I am entirely disgruntled that he was here last weekend and I couldn’t go. 

From the top of the week, Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar: An explainer. Also, Kendrick recs.

MrBeast is living in a joyless hell of his own making, and I at least understand now why he has always freaked me out. 

So anyway noted plagiarist James Somerton is alive and well on Twitter, where he’s... well, he sure is there. The words “hole posting” are involved. Another explainer for you. 

Lynda Carter proves she’s on Tumblr

We put our faith in BLAST HARDCHEESE

Peace and love on planet Earth and also in the Uber

“thinking about middle aged gay love is like. we have a future and we have time”

While there are merits to this concern, “Writers should all clown on Americans by making up places in THEIR country” doesn’t really sting when we’re all like “Yeah we love doing that!!!” I personally give you all permission to make up as many wackadoodle state names as you want. You can have West Mainolina for free. 

Meanwhile in Alabama: Bad, bad Leroy Brown, the baddest fish in the whole damn town

RIP Walnut the crane: “The Bride”

Dinosaurs are terrible lizards

Teaching consent is a many-faceted thing

Become ungovernable: grill edition

Video

Galadriel’s opening Fellowship of the Ring monologue, but it’s the Deep South (U.S.). “Across the county line in Mordor, the Dark Lord Sauron made his self another ring outta everything mean the devil put in him.” Absolutely pitch perfect. 

Also pitch perfect: Wellness influencers with terrible advice

“Mooom, the chocolate alchemist has an accomplice now!”

I will always reblog cheetah sounds

The Collage Atlas: a hand-drawn game on Steam

The sacred texts

South Canada. South South Canada. Canada A Bit to the Left

I think I’ve listed this compilation of parody lyrics (”I’m sorry Ms. Jackson/I am four eels”) before, but there’s more now

“Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue”

Personal tags of the week

Scrungly and, as a related topic, Belphegor the Devon rex kitten.

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

Do you have any bsd headcannons you'd like to share? (literally anything, I just love learning about other peoples hcs)

OMG YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE IVE BEEN USING THIS IN MY DRAFTS AS A COLLECTION OF JUST ABOUT ANYTHING THAT GOES THRU MY MIND AND I'VE JUST DECIDED I'M GONNA POST IT ALR

chuuya's hat is so old (bc it keeps getting passed from person to person and he brings it with him everywhere obviously) and WORN OUT but he has no idea how to fix it. he treats it like his child but it's inevitable that the material will deteriorate over time, so he's been trying to convince himself to go to a hatter for ages and can't swallow his pride. he drunkenly told it to hirotsu once night while they were drinking, and hirotsu just sighed and got it fixed for him that night while chuuya was passed out. they never spoke about it.

dazai has met several women who actually did say yes to a double suicide. the majority didn't mean it and just wanted to toy with him, but ran when they realized he was serious. a few actually did mean it. he pulled strings and invited them to a romantic date, except that he sent therapists there instead of him, basically playing matchmaker. all those women are now doing better but ask him about it and he'll act dumb and say he knows nothing about it.

fyodor needs glasses. his eyesight definitely sucks and the hours he spends at a computer don't help. however, he manipulates himself into thinking that he's actually fine when he's not. nikolai also has shitty eyesight bc of his dull eye and the other one he's probably abused looking at the birds in the sky and thus the sun. they are literally the blind leading the blind. nikolai places his portal 2 meters from where he meant to put it and fyodor says "good job". it's incredible how they're feared terrorists.

sigma gets tired wearing heels all day. he wants memory foam but doesn't know it exists. give him his goddamn memory foam. anyways one of his employees saw him holding his feet in pain and offered him orthopedic shoe inserts. he hasn't been the same since. would give them a raise if he knew how.

tachihara used to get acne from having his bandage on his nose all day. so, he's developed an incredibly rigid skin care routine. his face is soft as hell. cheeks are smoother than you'd think.

kouyou made it her first demand as executive to raid her favourite shop where she gets all her kiminos and accessories. hirotsu led the black lizard battalion into the shop and the workers were so fucking confused. stole expensive silk fabrics and clothing of the highest quality because she doesn't settle for less, and in the process has gotten hirotsu more into fashion. they go shopping together.

speaking of shopping, kajii only goes thrifting. have you seen his clothes?? they're not his size and torn as hell but they're so damn cheap he can't resist. his sandals are so goddamn iconic. yeah he's blowing you up but his dogs are OUT like a mf psychopath. i maybe love him a little too much.

ivan has greasy hair. while doing his surgery thing wtv tf that was, fyodor was continually grossed out (ironic aint it). pushkin was then ordered to help ivan wash his hair and they died just a little bit. neither knew what the difference between shampoo and conditioner is, and they struggled with it for a long time. eventually when they came back for fyodor to do the surgery, ivan's hair smelled like flowers and was braided cutely because they gave up and went to a salon where the people working there fell a little in love with his hair and went overboard. pushkin's hair (if you can call it that...) was also in a little bowtie. they enjoyed their little adventure just a little bit. just a little ofc.

odasaku has no idea how to cook curry. he loves it and fears doing it wrong, so he just buys it from the same place over and over. considered asking for the recipe but never did because why change what is already perfection. dazai however is convinced oda has housewife abilities and can cook like a god. he never knew the truth.

fitzgerald can't do math. he pretends he's good at converting currencies but in his head it just doesn't add up. 20 000 yen? that's like.... 5 freedom eagles obviously. no biggie *throws a bunch of american dollars at the workers and just takes the item and leaves* he also doesn't give tips when it prompts on the machine, and instead prefers sliding a crisp bill to them directly. cried a little when his favourite shop told him they ran out of an item he wanted and they didn't budge after he slid them a stack of 100s (he has no idea how many were in the stack)

fitzgerald also owns an airline but he doesn't manage it personally ofc. his only interaction with it is that they provide him and the guild with a private jet to travel to japan. lovecraft did not get on. he swam??? who knows, but he did not get on that plane. lucy got sick and louisa freaked out every time there was turbulence. mark was snoring loudly the entire way and steinbeck had his nose pressed on the window looking outside the entire time the lil cutie.

agatha has the super power of drinking tea while it is still piping hot. she never burns her tongue and never complained about its temperature, except when it's too cold. the water was literally boiling once (her subordinates wanted to find out how hot she can go) and she gulped it all down without a single contortion of her face. incredible.

shirase doesn't understand english and keeps trying to learn it but every time he thinks he's getting the hang of it, someone throws cockney slang at him and he gives up.

adam finally figured out how to blow a bubble of gum, but keeps swallowing it. one day, it clogged his internal system (he's not supposed to be eating obvi) and he's been afraid of it ever since. thinks it's possessed by evil spirits his android brain can't understand. i also hc that he recharges thru solar panels integrated onto his skin and for this reason he goes to the beach to 'tan' often. HE'S SO PALE people get a little concerned for him when they see him not apply sunscreen and just lay down for hours at a time. one lady actually told him he could get skin cancer and he opened his eyes "ackshually 🤓👆" then began reciting every fact known to man about skin cancer. rip that lady

verlaine and rimbaud complain about france all the time. "fuck france i fucking hate the french this country goddamn sucks" then as soon as someone else says anything bad about it they give them death glares and threaten death for disrespecting their country.

wells has memorized a whole lot of things about quantum theory from her days studying to be an engineer because it was her favourite class. she cannot handle mechanical or civil engineering topics and physically ascends at the mention of anything to do with dynamics. i also think she's been hit on a lot while wearing disguises; she tells them she's actually a woman, they freak out, then she sends them back in time. this time, they do not approach her and thus she doesn't have to deal with the awkward rejection and doesn't even remember it.

jules verne has made little dolls and pretended that they were his friends and invented scenarios in which they hung out. i will not elaborate on this.

albatross sometimes interrupts conversations in order to listen to the engine of a vehicle passing by. tries to track them down, too. he'll be the type of guy to ogle at your car without making eye contact with you while you're still in the car. and when i say ogle, i mean ogle. checks out motorcycles more often than women.

the flags bully lippmann sometimes when he acts in a really cheesy scene. he's coming to hang out with them and they're all giggling and chuckling at him stupidly. albatross walks up to him, tucks his hair behind his ear and whispers whatever cheesy thing was said in a low voice before bursting out laughing (he usually starts laughing before he can even finish the sentence). pianoman slides it slickly into conversations, and doc 'fufu's at random moments when looking at him and he suddenly remembers the scene. iceman has not watched the movie and chuuya couldn't care less.

the first time he tried to take the train, ranpo loudly exclaimed and yelled at every turn and stop of the train. he went during rush hour too and got his entire body smooshed into the strangers next to him. he squealed when someone accidentally (accidentally) grabbed his ass in the crowded traincar, then asked loudly who did that. dramatic as hell. got his pockets picked and knew who did it, but couldn't do anything about it. he felt awful and slumped his way back home and collapsed into yosano's arms with a groan. this was the only time she'd ever willingly bought him a bunch of sweets and let him eat them in peace while he ranted to her about the atrocities

kenji is more notorious on the streets than he knows. he got recognized by some huge 200cm tall man built like a goddamn tank with tattoos all over his body who wanted to fight him. kenji was so flattered that he knew his name that he thanked him and burly dude was like. wtf. anyways they got beef ramen together afterwards bonded over cows and are now besties. he's told the agency about it but they think that by "friend" he means someone else his age.

tanizaki ran into kajii once at his favourite thrift shop. he recognized him and ran out freaked never to return. for this reason he had to keep wearing his same stanky ahh uwu girl clothes that don't fit and hasn't had a style update. actually, when doing his research for how to infiltrate the mafia, tachihara found out that there have been a lot of sightings of known dangerous ability users in the thrift store, and that's why he wears the same shirt as tanizaki.

tachihara dreads the hunting dogs meetings because they make him feel like the only sane one there. his back has become so chiseled from carrying teruko around all the time, and once - jouno thought it would be funny - he tripped on a wire laying down on the ground and almost dropped her. he had to use his ability to pick her up from the belt of the uniform to prevent her from faceplanting, and she looked like she was about to explode. he had to let her beat him up a little then she hopped back on his shoulders and nothing changed. he questions his life choices often

jouno can't handle cinnamon or ginger scents, they overwhelm him and he goes into a fucking sensory overload coma. odor orgasm. sinus sex. teruko got sick once and tachi made her the strongest herbal and ginger tea you've ever seen (learnt it from his brother rip the goat) and he collapsed on the ground with a moan. woke up a half hour layer with no clue wth just happened. tecchou eventually heard about it, placed a hand on his shoulder and said "it happens to the best of us" while nodding solemnly then never elaborated.

yeah fukuchi and fukuzawa used to steal food when they were younger but imagine them figuring out milestones together. "dude my armpits are itchy where is this hair coming from :(" "genichiro i don't need to know about that *scratches at his armpit subtly*" i think they were very goofy about it

speaking of puberty elise once freaked mori out by saying she got her period. dude was like. wtf. you're an ability. how tf. she insisted he got her a bunch of tampons n pads and chocolate and heating pads and the works, then once he (the underlings he made go do the shopping threatening their lives if they ever told a soul) bought everything, she looked at his confused and asked why he bought those things. she's an ability how could she have a period? mori cried a little that night.

bram is a swiftie for no reason other than i think it's funny. alternatively, i believe he listens to reggae for no reason other than i think it's goddamn FUNNY.

kunikida's old students sometimes run into him on the street and recognize him. they immediately straighten their backs, nod at him and quickly walk away in the most respectful way because they don't want to ruin his schedule. he nearly tears up from happiness every time.

natsume goes through 5-6 "here, kitty kitty!"s in a day when he's just vibing around. people try to feed him grass blades. people get WAY too comfortable rubbing his stomach. once, a girl saw him on her way back from school and started scratching a random spot behind his ears and he folded so quickly and just melted on the sidewalk. he wont admit it but he has that weak spot in human form too (i want to pet him so badly this is self indulgent ok). the girl was actually gin btw. she's an animal whisperer i dont know why i dont know how but she is.

[cookii-moon]

I think post DOTD Cole still deserves to be at least a tiny bit affected by his time as a ghost yk

Explanations!!

Ngl the fact that Cole literally defied life and death and we never talk about it makes me sad like cmon it’s so interesting we give Lloyd Oni dragon features and Nya water features but we NEVER talk about when Cole literally transcended the barrier of ACTUAL DEATH. He should get more than a scar that vanishes afterwards and some cool powers SO IM GIVING HIM IT because this fandom has a criminal lack of ghost Cole content

So yeah here’s my explanations for each thingy plus my headcanons slash fanon

You can find the exact lines and contents in the ID if you can’t read my messy handwriting or tell what my messy sketches are supposed to be dndfjhgfdhgi know I know it’s very bad anyways

first one is self explanatory, Kai’s worried about Cole because the guy was dead and came back to life, Cole denies it (no it’s not ship but idm if ur a lavashipper and want it to be ship you can tag it if you wanna) because he’s Cole ofc he’s gonna deny it he’s an idiot. Meanwhile we go on to list alll the ways it’s most definitely 100% affecting him.

first one. the Cole vision. BASICALLY I follow the theory ghosts have different eyes, and when designing those eye, I take inspiration from lizard eyes. A lot of lizards, particularly nocturnal ones, not only have good night vision but can also see many more colors than humans, so I applied that to ghost eyes as well, essentially sight is one of their few senses that aren’t muted. They have night vision and can also see a much broader spectrum of color than humans can.

Since Cole has his scar on the left side, he also gets a ghost eye on the left side, which still has all the advantages he did as a ghost. On the other hand, his right eye is back to usual, meaning it doesn’t get those advantages and he’s still red/green colorblind in it. That means his left and right vision is pretty different now, which takes quite a lot of getting used to. Obviously this would be easier to show with a colored thing but it was. Hard to color for obvious reasons (you can’t demonstrate someone being able to see more colors than humans because we will always interpret it as a color we can see due to how we filter it) the ghost eye stays his entire life and there’s not really anything he can do about it.

Onto the arm - the markings are essentially burn marks / scars from his lava arms, and his nails are claws. I see ghosts as getting less and less human as time goes on because they forget who they were and what they looked like, therefore being incapable of mimicking a human form. Because Cole was around the ninja he never got far, but he did end up with some intrinsic ghost traits that carried over, like the claws. He has tried cutting them but it basically requires a massive claw clipper and even then they grow back very quickly and you can still see that they’re claws, they’re just less obnoxiously sharp. He usually opts to hide them with gloves a lot of the time. The claws are also permanent, but he can regularly trim them to be less obvious and also less annoying and more manageable.

The one where he’s scared of water is. Self explanatory. Obviously he has a big fear of water after coming back from the dead. Even just a few drops can send him into a panic attack. It gets better eventually with exposure therapy, though it may still cause him to be anxious around it at times.

most people have already done the “Cole runs into doors and walls after coming back from being a ghost lol” but like. It makes sense. So.

Right. Onto the ANGSTTTT.

“Everything is too much” refers to his sensory issues. Now obviously Cole is autistic /lh so he’s always had some sensory issues, but oh boy. Getting the ability to feel literally everything instantly after so long of not having it whatsoever?? Yikes. Pretty much everything is obnoxiously and incredibly overwhelming to him. it goes back to the usual after a lot of help from his family, though! :)

“But also”. Aka the image of him looking out at the stars. Lot more vague. Interpret it as you wish. There’s a few intended meanings to it but go ahead and figure them out for yourself. I will say that going with the idea that it’s dissociation related, he has a tendency to dissociate a lot after coming back (which is strange since he used to be pretty grounded). It never really goes away.

”Too little” ok so this one DEFINITELY needs explanation. I talked about how he’s overwhelmed. Well. Sometimes he’ll have bouts where it’s the exact opposite. He’ll suddenly feel a cold chill followed by a spreading numbness. Sometimes it’s just his hand, or his arm, other times it’s his entire body. It’s basically a psychological thing, sort of like phantom limbs except instead of a feeling where there is an absence, it’s more of an absence where there should be a feeling. Of course it’s absolutely terrifying for him, but the others eventually learn how to help ground him when it happens. Over time It gets less frequent but it doesn’t go away.

Anyways yeah that’s all I just. Think there should not only be more ghost Cole content but also. More post ghost Cole. He’s gotta be impacted SOMEHOW. Right.

Anyways yeah this is that so like

[busiest-bee]

I’m scared to post this but if I don’t I’ll beat myself up about it. Fuck it we ball

I’ve been trying to put my emotions into words All day. But then I remembered. Oh right yeah. I can just. Say It.

Anyways Me being a loser (vent? I don’t know) under the cut

(Cool divider made by me using some splatoon assets I got off the wiki btw :•3 )

(This is kinda long. Way longer than I originally wanted. So super sorry about that)

Anyways for a little while now I’ve been considering that I Might be some form of nonhuman/otherkin. Specifically a shapeshifter, but dogs, cats (both big and small), wolves, and bears are things I relate to heavily as well. (Not sure “relate” is the best term for what I feel but ehh I’m having a hard enough time with this as is) The dog, wolf, and cat parts are because of the kind of shapeshifter I..am?? That feels kinda crazy to say (and saying THAT is giving me some serious self doubt. But as they say, Fuck It We Ball).

Edit (8-24-24)- adding in cuz I just remembered: some visual similarities to lizards/reptiles so throw a little bit of That in the mix idk

Anyways yea the type of shapeshifter I’m talking about is actually a species I’ve been Sorta developing over a couple years now, it’s all come about pretty naturally tho. It’s basically just my brain saying “hey I Hate these parts of being a human. Let’s do something else” idk how to word it. So the kind of shapeshifter I am is more so based on what I hate about my irl body. That definitely plays into my gender dysphoria, and vice versa.

The bear part I feel less strong about, but it makes sense I guess. That came around when I had an intense hyperfixation on Splatoon. My favorite character is Mr.Grizz. Who is a bear. That hyperfixation was also the catalyst for me trying tinned fish!! (This is important to me bcuz I’m an Incredibly picky eater. Not fully relevant to the rest of this but Oh Well. I’m already oversharing on the internet in an attempt to come to terms with my identity, why not share a fun fact, Yknow?) Ever since that I’ve also felt very strongly about salmon. My favorite fish (I didn’t have a favorite fish beforehand) is sockeye salmon I LOVE them. They’re beautiful. They’re poetic. I want to eat them. Also my current layout (as of writing this) is splatoon themed. Specifically Salmon Run and golden eggs. I love the way the world of splatoon makes me feel. I want to be completely immersed in it. Golden eggs look so tasty and are so gender I HAVE to eat them.

I don’t know if this is a kin thing or if I’m just thinking too hard about it (that could apply to this entire post but eh) but I also relate (again, maybe not the “correct” term but I’m working with what my brain has so shh) to Chara from Undertale. Idk something about a little kid falling down into a mountain full of monsters, being adopted by said monsters, and giving themself up just to try saving them…their cannonical distaste of humans…something about them as a character really feels so intensely Me. I don’t think I Am Chara, but. Idk. This is all very new to me (admitting that I feel these things at least. I’ve been consuming some kin content for a while now. It’s fun!! Love moodboards and stimboards so much they’re so fun)

And maybe, if anyone has even read this far, u might be asking “bee! Your name is Bee! Your account name is bee themed!! Are u a little honey making freakazoid out to get lost in the pollen sauce?”

To which I say:

All jokes aside. I don’t know man. Bees are very me, I am very bees, but I tried looking at bee kin/therian posts and i couldn’t really relate as well as i hoped. Although I might’ve just not scrolled down enough to find something that I really deeply felt in my gut. So just. Think of me like a fancy car (except creature) with a cool bee themed skin or something idk. (To be fair itd make more than enough sense for me to be a..kin?? Therian?? I don’t know. Of a bee. I have so many bee things. One day I will have more)

I’m still unsure of labels, if anything I just prefer the term nonhuman, gets the point across without being too specific, and doesn’t give me any of the bad icky feelings that make me feel like I’m lying no matter what I do or say.

Anyways yeah this was long and dumb and honestly? I’m terrified to post it. Ive been struggling to get my words out all day and I’ve been posting like a madman. But I guess using my social media as an outlet for all my emotions I otherwise wouldn’t really have anywhere to put will do that.

Sorry if none of this made any sense, I’m really trying to not only understand myself, but also to then Describe that understanding to other people. And I’ve never been very good at having people understand me.

If I end up realizing I was wrong I will promptly dig a hole in the ground and let nature overtake me and cover me in moss

(Also just a note: if anyone sees this, Reads this, and decides to like. Reply or reblog with words of encouragement/understanding or really Anything. I might not reply bcuz I have really bad social anxiety, especially on the internet. But trust me when I say that I read everything people say in the tags of reblogs, comments/replies, all of it. It’s all greatly appreciated, it really truly is.)

(Cool ass Mr.Grizz divider made by me with an asset from the Nintendo online app in Wandercrust I think. Though I believe all the pics u can get from that are also on the wiki) (I should make a salmon themed divider holy shit)

[sheikahwarriork]

I am sorry you had a bad day my dude, would some Byleth cheer you up?

I think, we all as society should recognize Byleth!~

Byleth does not fight fair. In a support conversation with Felix, Felix mentions that Byleth will randomly throw out punches and kicks along with sword attacks. Byleth's probably a biter. She is going to Mike Tyson her way through entire military campaigns, and I have no idea what happens when you punch a giant lizard creature, but the campaigns give Byleth the opportunity to find out before the time skip ever happens.

I mean one of the main skills of Enlightened One is brawling.

So yeah. She's a bruiser who punches her way through problems and eats more than anyone else.

And people still say she has no personality...

TY ANON YES!!! YOU SPOKE THE TRUTH

i mean, in a crit's animation byleth throws a punch before slashing the sword:

and as you said, she got brawling as a skill of her unique class.

i think being raised as a mercenary by mercenaries taught byleth to survive by all means. when she fights, there's no such a thing as a "fair fight", there is just "win = survive".

on a side note, i like to think that when she first teached the blue lions, with all the faerghus "knight honour" mentality etc, she was taken aback. when ingrid did her first lance tournament, byleth was screaming "PUNCH HIM IN THE GUTS, INGRID!!" and dimitri politely said "professor, i'm sorry but this is a lance tournament, not a brawling one. she's not allowed to use her bare hands". byleth looked at him with a "error 404 not found" face and then goes, "do you really think an enemy on the battlefield will care if she's using a lance or her hands? they'll try to kill her anyway, so she- no, you all must learn to fight and survive". and this is why byleth doesnt let her students focus on only one weapon and by the end of the war even the mages have proficiency in brawling. byleth is not going to let her babies die! (okay i love this headcanon i HAVE TO write something about this)

omg i love byleth so much im crying ok. i HATE when people say byleth doesnt have a personality!! just a few days ago i was thinking about the animated cutscene at the beginning of the game, the one when you see all the students. that cutscene begins with byleth reading a book, then the clock bells ring, yk? well, i LOVE that little detail of byleth reading. bc think about it: a 20-something yo mercenary is hired as a professor at the great official academy of garreg mach. byleth knows well she is not competent. but its a job, its her job now, so she must do her best. and so she starts reading all kind of books about magic and history and weapons and tactics. she knows shes not a good professor (yet), but she wants to be one!! so she does everything in her power to be one!!!!

or the fact that the first time we can see byleth smiling is when they give food to a cat/dog? its waaaay before the flayn's rescue, which is the canon "first time" the house leaders see byleth smile.

people often complain about byleth being a silent protagonist. in my opinion, OF COURSE BYLETH is not very talkative. they grow up in a mercenary company, they probably never interacted with someone with their age before the academy! (remember byleth doesnt meet leonie when jeralt goes to her village.) they never had a friend. and now byleth is supposed to be a perfect professor?

but byleth tries. byleth gets better with people. in fact, i think byleth actually gets more lines in the second part of the game (i should check but im pretty sure).

byleth also is more expressive post-timeskip. i'll never forget the "... :( " face byleth does when dimitri says its better to go rescue lady rhea before taking fhirdiad (his feral phase, i dont remember the exact moment but its during a war council in the first part of the post-timeskip). or the fact byleth has an angry face when talking to feral-dimitri during the exploration days (i mean the sundays).

also, apparently byleth has a very bad sense of humor. after the fhirdiad map in azure moon, when byleth and dimitri talks, he says "you taught me something very important" and byleth can say "humor?" and dimitri responds something like "you never let up, do you?", which means its not the first time byleth says a silly (but loved!!) comment.

do i think byleth should have got dubbed lines in three houses? of course i do. but even with the little lines they have we can see their personality.

IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT BYLETH!!!!!!!

thank u anon i love talking about my beloved!!

[damienthepious]

did you know that it's a full moon tonight? because that fact has shaped ALL my writing progress today.

i fucking hate this new editor by the way. i can BARELY fucking post fic at all anymore and it's fucking banishing me to the phantom zone. go read my fic on ao3 instead im begging you.

raised by wolves

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationships: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Sir Damien, Lord Arum, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Werewolf!Rilla specifically, Secrets, (look i think rilla deserves to have some angsst explored for once), (uhhhh god there have GOT to be more tags uhh. i don't know i'll add more later), (In later chapters there will be), Implied/Referenced Harm to Children, Implied/Referenced Violence, Mild Injury

Summary: Rilla is keeping secrets.

Notes: This didn't exist this morning and now i've got a new fucking multichapter to worry about jesus fuck. hopefully (LMAO) this one won't actually be that long? if it goes according to.. plan???? yeah. right. fine. okayfine.

~

Rilla has always liked straight lines. Consistent rules. Categories, into which data points will neatly fall.

This might, possibly, have something to do with all the categories she falls between the cracks of, herself. Or maybe she was always going to be like this. Who knows? She doesn't exactly have a control group to check with. Life doesn't work like that; neat and tidy like her experiments. Life is messy. Her life, in particular, is messy. But, hey, at least it's messy mostly on a predictable cycle. Mostly.

Rilla packs her usual bag, false bottom carefully in place with her new tinctures alongside the old standbys. She pulls her hair out of her face and into a braid, and picks her way down to the greenhouse to say her goodbyes.

A newer wrinkle in the routine: saying her see-you-in-a-couple-days, I-promise-I'll-be-safe, try-to-remember-that-I-love-yous in the Keep, now, and not in her own hut. Saying them to Arum, too.

Arum hasn't questioned her absences, yet, because she goes off on her own all the time anyway, and because he never really seems to question her about leaving the Keep. She can tell that he doesn't want to remind her of being kept here, and... that isn't necessary, really, but it's sweet, in a way.

He and Damien can keep each other company while she's gone, too. Which is nice. Damien doesn't have to be quite so lonely when she's gone, anymore (and Arum doesn't have to be lonely at all, if she can help it).

She kisses Damien deep, distracted by the way his skin smells, this close to the moon, and when she pulls back Arum nuzzles his snout into her neck in a way that makes her want to growl, though she manages to suppress the urge into just a shudder as she wraps an arm around him and squeezes. No time for fun, just now, unfortunately. She kisses Arum's cheek, light and sweet to make him scowl, and then she peels herself away with a casual wave.

The Keep's portal drops her in the front room of her hut, receding back into the wide planter to the left of the hearth with a gentle farewell warble from the Keep (or at least... what she assumes is a gentle farewell warble), and Rilla grabs another one or two things to stuff into her pack before she steps out of the hut, locks up, and marches into the jungle.

Damien thinks that her monthly disappearances have to do with harvesting rare medicinal plants with very particular blooming cycles, which is... partly true. There are flowers and herbs to be harvested during the day, when she can. She doesn't like being less than honest with Damien, but she's been less than honest with every single person she's ever known since her parents were Exiled. And- it's a medical condition. Sort of. She's allowed to keep a medical condition private if she wants to.

Arum...

Arum complicates things. He's good at that.

Arum complicates her excuses for not telling Damien, specifically. Because if Damien can, in fact, put aside his animosities and find room in his heart for a monster...

(Maybe she could have told him ages ago.)

(Or maybe not. Maybe it would have been too much, before. Maybe he would have been terrified. Maybe he would have felt betrayed. Maybe he would have told the Crown. Maybe he would have-)

No one knows about the second hut, the same way no one knows about her condition. Though... "hut" is generous. Her home is a hut, cozy and carefully cluttered and warm and welcoming. This building is more of a shack, really. It's a fair hike from the hut, but she can get there before dusk with time to spare, which is pretty much the point. Technically speaking, she could just overnight here and then come back home during the day, if she really pushed it, but that would be a lot harder to explain than just saying that she needs to travel to a distant grove for botanical purposes.

It looks abandoned and ramshackle, but the door and the lock are sturdy, and Rilla has the key.

Sturdy, reinforced walls, a wooden locking bar to make certain that nothing gets in and out, no windows. Bare floors, excepting a chair and a desk in one corner for a little bit of reading or writing during the day, and a chest to keep her things in. Mostly open space, where Rilla spreads out the blankets she brought, right in front of the metal hoops for the chains.

She cut her timing a little close today, mostly because she wanted to actually enjoy her morning with Damien and Arum. She sighs, stretches, and unpacks her extra clothes into the chest so she can get to the false bottom of her pack and pull out her medicine.

First night. She'll go with her standby tincture, this time. She has a new experimental blend she wants to try, but she'd rather save it for tomorrow, the full moon, and see how it affects her on the day that hits her with the most severe symptoms. This one, she at least knows that it'll keep her mostly placid.

She sighs, uncorks the vial and slams it back like a shot, wrinkling her nose at the taste.

The medicine makes her memory a bit... muddy? But even before she developed this particular treatment regimen, she couldn't remember much about what happened, what she would do on the nights immediately surrounding the full moon.

She does know that she hates it here. Hates the chains, hates the wood against her claws, hates the drowsiness from the medicine. Hates being alone.

She packs her kit back up. She undresses to her underclothes, then stows her dress and shoes and the tinctures into the chest before she closes it with a click.

She goes to sit on the blankets on the floor, then, fixing the harness around her neck and chest and adjusting it to the marked positions. Rilla has been alone in one way or another since her parents left, she reminds herself as she settles in to wait, her skin already prickling and her eyes adjusting far too quickly to the dark.

The wolf will just have to cope.

[peta-official]

So with Palworld being the hot, new thing, I got to see some of what it had to offer, but mostly the discourse and the like following it. Ignoring accusations against the company, yes, they were parodying Pokèmon, and that especially includes the design.

This leads into my main point of this post. Most of the Pals are perfectly servicable designs. They are usually similar to Pokèmon designs, but they at least put a bit of a spin on them, or at the very least they look interesting. However, one rather popular one right now actually upsets me with its design. I don't like Lovander's design at all.

Now, I'd like to show a back image to accompany it and help show my critiques, but this is the single image I can find of it at all.

In terms of furbait, it succeeds. I conceed the point that they made it a very furry design. But the problem I have is that it fails at being a lizard design; I would not call this scalie or scale-bait.

So Lovander appears to be a take on Salazzle, the poison/fire scale-bait Pokèmon. In particular, it appears to resemble its shiny. it might also be inspired by shiny Lopunny, what with the hair and arm pieces.

They've nearly the same palette, while also being sexy lizards. As an aside, the reason why Salazzle is Like That may be inspired by mo`o, lizards of Hawaiian myth would would eat men at night.

Anyways, Salazzle is a design I can appreciate as it at least looks like a lizard; it has a long tail, slim body, claws, you get the point. When you see it, you think, "wow, that's a sexy lizard", and "wow, that's in a kid's game." On the contrary, Lovander has a design that doesn't immediately scream reptile. When I first saw it, my thoughts were, "Lopunny II", and "this is gonna happen in every Pokèmon-like game, huh".

It took a bit of close inspection to make the connection to Salazzle, and an even longer time to learn that it is a reptile, not a mammal.

So first and foremost, a big reason why this didn't click as a lizard Pal, is the biology of it.

Look at these salamanders. lizards are usually slim, because they scuttle and also because they hide in small spaces. Salazzle is indeed slender, which helps it look right. Lizards also don't have protruding ears, fur, or mammory glands. Yet again, neither does Salazzle.

With Lovander, they go for a more typically attractive humanoid design. They gave it breasts, hips, and what appears to be hair. Together, these design features make it less and less similar to actual, ya know, salamanders. To be clear, I'm not saying that the Video Game Animal Girl has to be a biological mirror of its source material, but it helps a design look nice if it at least tries to be similar. Despite the game saying its a reptile, nothing in its design would imply that. I can at least forgive the hair though, as it may have been designed to be like the Frilled Lizard. In that case, yeah, that is a rather cool trait.

They also got rid of its tail, which does not help its case.

Now, its design is not the only reason I dislike Lovander. It's name doesn't make sense. it took me 22 days, (days since Palworld was released, as of writing) to realize it was supposed to be a combination of the words "love" and "salamander." When you say it, it sounds far more similar to "love" and "lavender". One of the points I was going to make if I'dn't procrastinate on writing this post, was the lack of lavender in its colour palette. Lavender is a light purple, but Lovander has a dark and bold purple instead. It would have been That Easy to make it a 3-in-1 name with a minor colour change, but that is not the case.

Overall, I say this not as a jab at Palworld or anything, I just like complaining. Palworld is a game that sure does exist. I do not care for or against it. This one design has been peeving me, and I just wanted to say something about it.

In other news, welcome to Peta-official! Side blog of @teeth-collector64. Not sure what this'll be for, but it made sense for the subject of Palworld.

[chepedukduks]

Hey guys, sorry to be a buzzkill, but I really haven’t been feeling too good. It’s this crushing guilt over something I absolutely cannot talk about, coupled with me feeling lonely and self isolating cause of that. Also lots of homework. Time feels like its flown by this past week and I’m motivated to be more productive to fill the gaps, but its hard. Dumb ADHD and stuff…

I’ll feel better soon though! Depression is for losers and I’m not gonna fall into a self doubting spiral, promise. Weird rock thing chapter 5 is already done and I’m writing chapter 6 right now. Thinking about releasing the story in bigger chunks instead of per-chapter, since the latter covers so little story I feel like it wouldn’t be satisfying to constantly check up on. I’m a super slow writer, but I’m improving, albeit similarly slowly.

About art, honestly the only thing I’ve felt like drawing recently have been personal/self-indulgent art lol, but I also wanna make more fanarts too. I should draw more battle cats and maybe study some environments… I’ve always wanted to get good at sketching accurate scenery and storyboards. When I feel confident enough in my skills, I’d like to animate some cool oc stuff and post it on my youtube channel, but that’s still far away. Gotta get the ball rolling again, first.

So yeah, just an update on how things are. I feel (mostly) safe posting on here. More safe than on twitter, anyways. I’ll still do my silly gooby lizard persona, but its nice to be real every once in a while. Makes me feel like a person :p

Stuff soon! Love you guys 💙

[seventhdoctor]

I'm gonna give you Misty as a curveball. :3

Why I like them/why I don’t

Misty has a couple of interesting things for her role in the plot! I'm obviously an Aki fan and Misty is basically Consequences for Aki. She has ties to the Arcadia plot, and it's nice to see a little about its workings beyond just Aki and Divine - even if I hate Divine's guts. Kill that man--oh wait, Misty did.

And obviously she's a Dark Signer, who pretty much signed up to take revenge on one (1) person without malice toward anyone else...aside from all the lives sacrificed to summon her giant lizard, but anyway. It's neat when she's like "all right, I've had enough, I wanna surrender this duel" even if the Earthbound Gods don't let her.

Unfortunately her ending is basically non-existent. They could have done more with her for sure. Bomber and Kiryu got episodes post-Dark Signers; Misty really deserved one too.

What I like about their appearance

Misty looks elegant in a distinctive way, with her narrow face and eyes emphasized by her long hair. I think what stands out most for me is the little jewel she wears on her forehead, which is probably at least 30% because I'm obsessed with Yubel always but anyway.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Both are about the same to me. I think her surname is different between the two but I don't really remember either so, eh.

OTP

Hm, I don't really know any ships involving Misty. I'm guessing Misty/Aki and Misty/Carly would be the big ones, but honestly while I'm living in ignorance: I think there could be some fun pairing her with Bomber, who went through a similar Dark Signer experience except he gets his dead sibs back. Plenty of shared trauma, a little bit of envy to get over, maybe a couple people to call family after she lost Toby.

I just made this up right now but now I'm a little invested.

NOTP

Divine.

OT3

Following up on the above, Misty/Bomber/Kiryu?

Favourite card they use

Sad Story - Sorrowful Memories. When Misty pulled this out I just went like, oh we're gonna be like this huh. I unironically love it when Yugioh characters pull eerily specific but symbolic cards out of nowhere.

Favourite moment they were in

My 5Ds experience anytime Divine was onscreen: "Aki kill him. Aki kill him. Aki kill him. Carly kill him. Aki kill him. Carly kill him. Aki kill him. ...AND IT'S MISTY WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!"

Good for you, buddy.

Least favourite moment

The total lack of aftermath that was "oh yeah Misty and Bomber and Kiryu left." Come on, not even an onscreen epilogue?

[foggymud]

WELCOME TO "Raw Ingredients" ep.1!! the game show where we take ur fav cookie. And dive deep too figure out what swims beneath the calm waters of the lotus paradise

today we have the newest adition to oven break, thats right the one the only the cutie!POND DINO!! or pondy for short!

So where to start? Lets see....well for one pondy isn't what they seam,there not a gummy dinosour like the ones we've seen before! They are actualy inspierd by the forget-me-not [or fmn if i ever refer to it again] flower! The name was changed in traslación for what ive heard leading too pond dino to be what we know them as!

Pond dino is also one of the few cookies with the slit eye design! While not exclusive to dragons this trait is ussualy shared among them excluding lychee [wich May play into there potencialy sucubus inspierd design, next ri might be on em ectualy]

wich further reinforces there relevance to the dragon story! And longan there self says that pondy is the only foil to there plan,more on that laiter.[side note: not all slit eye or slit like eye cookies are in the image showned]

Another thing worth of note is pondy's shape and body design, as a New born baby dino it makes sense there small stubby and chubby,but a weird thing is that they where born with not only super long "hair" that seams too twist rather then sway as well as a flower that-

APARANTLY IS EATHER SENTIENT OR APART OF THEM???? Wich all of this leads me too belive this is all apart of there boddy, meaning pondy has 6 limbs [huh kinda make sense why there with lotus now] one set of back and front flippers + the hair flippers.

and finnaly in terms of the design we have pondys color palet! Its quite simple being made out of the face tone, primeraly 2 to 3 shades of blue, some cream yellows for the eyes,flower,and tummy, as well as white for extra detail and purple for the eyes,2th layer of the flower and.....segmentación on the chest?? Im not gonna try to understand why a nonbinary they/its new born lizard that already looks quite femenet needed boob segmentación on there upper body so lets just move on.

As ive not seen the hold story i won't be able to talk much about the lore but looks like there isn't much to cover? They where born from an egg that showed up in a place where "ancient magic once held sway" if i had to guess the lotus palace or the lotus lake its self as it did have quite the amount of magical things besides lotus there self, such as lesser dragons wich while not new as we've seen them all over the place, the little elfs that worked for lotus alongside the hydrangean cookies, and that time longan sent there despicable me looking eye balls there so yeah theres a lot of magic.

And if you remember i did say i was gonna talk about longans "the only foil to my plan" line earlier so lets start with this final segment!, i belive what this line refers to is that there atempts at destroying cookie kind might not be that eficient if life [aka pond] can still emerge from it, they sunk an entierd palace and possibly flooded a hold island and jet a cookie was borned from this destrucción, longan seams to know what this implies as while still a baby pond thretends there hold plan just by existing somhow, maybe will see somthing simmilar to pond in the future, eather other babys from the ananas and pitaya islands [maybe lychee as well idk how bad there island is as the longan break out starts deep below the surface], some kind of figure or presence in history, or maybe a New legend? Who knows!

Side note below if you wanna read

Hi thanks too anyone who reads this far into the post! Even thru my crazy theories and endless rambles y bad grammer, i hope it was understandable to some degree. If you have anything that i may have forgot, got wrong, and even wanna add or share what you think on anything regarding this post feal free to inform me!. Anyways hope this was a ok post at best as i hope to do more like this in the future as it was tons of fun for me even if im not trully sure on how to takle this

[calliethetrekkie]

Star Trek TOS S01E07: Charlie X

Original Thoughts

"Charlie X, did have a nice take on how being The Nice Guy to a girl does NOT entitle you to a relationship, which since this was made in the 60’s is nice to see, and the ending did make me almost feel bad for the villain. Almost."

(Original Post)

Rewatch Thoughts

Not gonna lie, I hadn't really been looking forward to this one. I gave it a pretty middle rating (3.5/5) in the watchthrough... and for Heaven's sake, I couldn't remember why. I don't remember hating the episode, but I certainly couldn't remember much of anything worth liking, aside from Kirk telling Charlie that he's not entitled to a woman just because he likes them. I guess I was impressed to see a 60's show say that? IDK. I was thinking that I had been too generous, but did the rewatch change that?

The first thing that came to my mind when I first read the summary was an episode of The Twilight Zone titled It's A Good Life. I imagine that most have heard of it, but if you haven't, it's about a six-year-old kid with God-like powers who terrorizes his town into obeying him and always being happy. If you don't... well, it doesn't end well. Now mind you, Charlie is older and has a bit more of an excuse for why he acts like he does, but yeah... this is what happens when you let little Anthony Fremont reach adolescence. Speaking of The Twilight Zone, Shatner was actually the main character in the episode Nightmare at 20,000 Feet and BOY is that something... anyway, back on topic!

So like I said, I went in fully expecting to dislike it and give it a lower rating when I put it on the 10 scale over the 5 scale. But after watching it again? I think I realize why I gave it a generous rating. It's one of those episodes that is interesting to actually watch, but not one you actually think about until you go back to it. There is actually a lot of good material here, even a bit of continuity, and it's actually a bit more complex when you take later canon into account. So let's go ahead and break it down.

Let's start with Charlie Evans. He's a one-shot character, and actually characterized pretty well IMO. He's a seventeen-year-old who has been isolated from humans for most of his life and, as we find out, adopted by aliens who don't understand concepts like 'love'. He's awkward, temperamental, and doesn't understand social cues or customs, as you'd expect from a teenager and especially one who grew up as he did. It really sucks that they don't have a proper counselor in this episode, cause Charlie desperately needed one. That might have helped prevent his power trip... then again, with how unstable he was, he may not have gotten the help extensively enough to prevent it. Who knows?

It's easy to pity the kid at first. He doesn't seem bad, just very troubled and out of place. Even ignoring his circumstances, that's normal for a teenager. But of course, most teenagers don't have realty warping powers like he does. As such, the more the episode goes on, the more Charlie starts to lose it. He's confused and frustrated without any coping skills to help him, so he resorts to using his powers to get his way. Someone laughs at him? He makes them disappear. He's worried that the crew can hurt him? The phasers vanish. He doesn't like a Yeoman because he likes Rand? Now she's a lizard. Why? Because that's all he knows to do, so that's what he defaults to.

You pity him at first, but that can only go so far. He starts to go on a power trip that only gets worst when Rand rejects his 'gentle' advances. This coming after she tried several times to explain to him that she isn't interested nicely. Honestly, you ever think about how Rand's time on the Enterprise REALLY sucked? First there was The Enemy Within, an event that she outright references to Kirk when telling him that she may be driven to hurt Charlie if he doesn't stop. That's noticeably when Kirk starts to take her concerns a bit more seriously... not as much as he should have IMO considering that that last time was him, but it's still worth noting. As I was saying though, combined all that with later episodes like Miri and... yeah as much as it sucks her being dropped, if she left the Enterprise I do NOT blame her. She really deserved a LOT better, but that's a rant for another day.

After Rand stands her ground, even turning the intercom on so that she could have help and being forced to get physical, Charlie is so angry he makes her vanish. But of course it's her fault. He loved her, he was nice and gentle with her, but she still rejected him. Unlike The Enemy Within where they mishandled this subject horribly, this episode actually makes it clear that this is NOT okay. You're not entitled to someone just because you like them, and just being nice doesn't mean you are owed their love either. In fact, it's after he gets rid of Rand that Charlie becomes fully unstable and whatever sympathy you had for the kid goes right out the window even within the episode itself. For a 60's show that just had one of their worst treatments of a female character two episodes ago, this is very much welcome to see.

At the end when Charlie's about to kill Kirk however, the Thasian's return. That's when you feel at least a pinch of pity again. Whatever life with them was life, Charlie is terrified of it and wants to stay on the Enterprise. That's right, he resorts to begging the people he tormented, including Rand when she's restored, to help him. Kirk, being a good guy at the end of the day, even tries to reason to make that happen... but it does nothing. We saw how Charlie reacted, and chances are all it would take is one person making him upset in a human colony to cause who knows what to happen. You feel bad for the terrified teenager as he begs and pleads to not go back, but at the same time he brought all of it onto himself, so it's hard to feel anything more than just pity. Could he have been better if given the time and care? Maybe, but maybe not. I think that the utterly haunting ending where everyone is just stunned says it all.

Then we go to Kirk. This episode is a LOT more fun to look at if you've seen the films and know that Kirk actually does have a son that he's never seen, let alone been involved in raising. It's also hilarious how McCoy, who actually has a kid that as far as we know he was involved in raising up to a point, passes the job onto Kirk, half cause he was freaked out by Charlie and half probably because he plain doesn't want to do it. But for Kirk, that makes it all the more awkward, cause Heaven knows that he has no idea what he's doing. Like I said, he doesn't handle guiding Charlie particularly well, though he is at least trying. Like when he tries to give Charlie The Talk and is clearly dreading every single second of it, even telling him to talk to McCoy for the ugh... biological parts of it? That is underrated comedy at it's finest XD

Like I said, Kirk at least tries to help the kid. He himself didn't exactly have the most normal childhood, especially if you take Tarsus IV into account. He can probably understand Charlie's confusion and frustration, at least to an extent. Enough that he does legitimately try to help the kid. He tries to give him advice. He tries to teach him some self-defense... which probably wasn't the best route but still. He's perfectly affable to the kid until he starts harming his crew, and even then only throws any sense of reason out the window when Charlie electrocutes Uhura and forces Spock into talking gibberish. Hell at the end, when Charlie is practically begging for his life, he has every reason to just let the Thasians take him away without any fuss. But Kirk still tries to convince them to let him stay because of how terrified the kid is. It doesn't work and Kirk acquiesces in the end, but it still shows that despite everything, he was still willing to try and help what he saw as a very troubled teenager.

Kirk is the type of character who may not always know what he's doing, but he'll try nonetheless. He doesn't want to be any sort of father figure. He already has his plate filled enough as the captain and add that to the whole situation regarding his own son and Carol, it probably makes him uncomfortable. But since Charlie at first looks up to him, he sucks it up and tries to help, especially once Rand brings up her concerns. But really, as I said, what Charlie needed was a counselor. Ironically, McCoy may have been the most qualified in this scenario, but again he ain't having any of it XD But it's nice to see this side of Kirk. He's less of a Captain and more reluctant parent until Charlie endangers his crew and thus Captain Mode is activated. It just lets us see a bit more of an awkward yet genuine side to him that we haven't had to this point, and I appreciate it.

There's also a lot of nice little moments. Spock and McCoy acting like an old married couple, with Kirk utterly sick of it. Uhura and Spock's little concert. Seriously, I kind of like how Spock was a bit more expressive in the early episodes, wish we'd gotten more scenes like that. As I said, Kirk's utter dread and awkwardness giving Charlie The Talk is freakin' comedy gold. It's overall a good episode. IDK why I made myself dread it so much going in. It's not a top-tier episode by any means, and it isn't one that I would put on regularly. But overall, it's fine. It has good moments and has some awkwardness, but nothing to drag it down. I guess I just needed to look at it again to remember why I gave my initial rating, haha.

Original Rating: 3.5/5

Rewatch Rating: 6/10

[My TOS Reviews]

[TOS S1 Reviews]

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