#and somehow even harder to post
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busiest-bee · 4 months ago
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I’m scared to post this but if I don’t I’ll beat myself up about it. Fuck it we ball
I’ve been trying to put my emotions into words All day. But then I remembered. Oh right yeah. I can just. Say It.
Anyways Me being a loser (vent? I don’t know) under the cut
(Cool divider made by me using some splatoon assets I got off the wiki btw :•3 )
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(This is kinda long. Way longer than I originally wanted. So super sorry about that)
Anyways for a little while now I’ve been considering that I Might be some form of nonhuman/otherkin. Specifically a shapeshifter, but dogs, cats (both big and small), wolves, and bears are things I relate to heavily as well. (Not sure “relate” is the best term for what I feel but ehh I’m having a hard enough time with this as is) The dog, wolf, and cat parts are because of the kind of shapeshifter I..am?? That feels kinda crazy to say (and saying THAT is giving me some serious self doubt. But as they say, Fuck It We Ball).
Edit (8-24-24)- adding in cuz I just remembered: some visual similarities to lizards/reptiles so throw a little bit of That in the mix idk
Anyways yea the type of shapeshifter I’m talking about is actually a species I’ve been Sorta developing over a couple years now, it’s all come about pretty naturally tho. It’s basically just my brain saying “hey I Hate these parts of being a human. Let’s do something else” idk how to word it. So the kind of shapeshifter I am is more so based on what I hate about my irl body. That definitely plays into my gender dysphoria, and vice versa.
The bear part I feel less strong about, but it makes sense I guess. That came around when I had an intense hyperfixation on Splatoon. My favorite character is Mr.Grizz. Who is a bear. That hyperfixation was also the catalyst for me trying tinned fish!! (This is important to me bcuz I’m an Incredibly picky eater. Not fully relevant to the rest of this but Oh Well. I’m already oversharing on the internet in an attempt to come to terms with my identity, why not share a fun fact, Yknow?) Ever since that I’ve also felt very strongly about salmon. My favorite fish (I didn’t have a favorite fish beforehand) is sockeye salmon I LOVE them. They’re beautiful. They’re poetic. I want to eat them. Also my current layout (as of writing this) is splatoon themed. Specifically Salmon Run and golden eggs. I love the way the world of splatoon makes me feel. I want to be completely immersed in it. Golden eggs look so tasty and are so gender I HAVE to eat them.
I don’t know if this is a kin thing or if I’m just thinking too hard about it (that could apply to this entire post but eh) but I also relate (again, maybe not the “correct” term but I’m working with what my brain has so shh) to Chara from Undertale. Idk something about a little kid falling down into a mountain full of monsters, being adopted by said monsters, and giving themself up just to try saving them…their cannonical distaste of humans…something about them as a character really feels so intensely Me. I don’t think I Am Chara, but. Idk. This is all very new to me (admitting that I feel these things at least. I’ve been consuming some kin content for a while now. It’s fun!! Love moodboards and stimboards so much they’re so fun)
And maybe, if anyone has even read this far, u might be asking “bee! Your name is Bee! Your account name is bee themed!! Are u a little honey making freakazoid out to get lost in the pollen sauce?”
To which I say:
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All jokes aside. I don’t know man. Bees are very me, I am very bees, but I tried looking at bee kin/therian posts and i couldn’t really relate as well as i hoped. Although I might’ve just not scrolled down enough to find something that I really deeply felt in my gut. So just. Think of me like a fancy car (except creature) with a cool bee themed skin or something idk. (To be fair itd make more than enough sense for me to be a..kin?? Therian?? I don’t know. Of a bee. I have so many bee things. One day I will have more)
I’m still unsure of labels, if anything I just prefer the term nonhuman, gets the point across without being too specific, and doesn’t give me any of the bad icky feelings that make me feel like I’m lying no matter what I do or say.
Anyways yeah this was long and dumb and honestly? I’m terrified to post it. Ive been struggling to get my words out all day and I’ve been posting like a madman. But I guess using my social media as an outlet for all my emotions I otherwise wouldn’t really have anywhere to put will do that.
Sorry if none of this made any sense, I’m really trying to not only understand myself, but also to then Describe that understanding to other people. And I’ve never been very good at having people understand me.
If I end up realizing I was wrong I will promptly dig a hole in the ground and let nature overtake me and cover me in moss
(Also just a note: if anyone sees this, Reads this, and decides to like. Reply or reblog with words of encouragement/understanding or really Anything. I might not reply bcuz I have really bad social anxiety, especially on the internet. But trust me when I say that I read everything people say in the tags of reblogs, comments/replies, all of it. It’s all greatly appreciated, it really truly is.)
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(Cool ass Mr.Grizz divider made by me with an asset from the Nintendo online app in Wandercrust I think. Though I believe all the pics u can get from that are also on the wiki) (I should make a salmon themed divider holy shit)
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hiddencarpet · 4 months ago
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It took me like 6 years but i Finally drew this old idea of mine.
"What if Dante and Vergil were born as grubs and changed their forms to human-like only with time?"
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irkimatsu · 11 months ago
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Husk can have such a romantic side with someone he truly cares about.
He invites you into his room at the hotel, and as you enter, you can see all the effort he’s put in to make the evening special. He’s dusted off his old suit that he hasn’t worn in years. Jazz music is softly playing from the record player in his room, slow and with prominent saxophone. The lights are turned down low, and the curtains are wide open onto the night sky.
The intended effect is missing when the sky is dark red and starless, but you appreciate what he was going for.
He’s smiling softly as he reaches out his paw. “May I have this dance?”
You accept, taking his paw and allowing him to pull you into his embrace, his paw gently holding your hand as his other arm encircles your waist. He leads you in a slow, swaying dance, his eyes transfixed on your face for every second of it.
This man is so deeply in love. You can see it in his eyes.
He leans in for a kiss, his soft fur tickling your lips as he gently presses into them. He lets go of your hand so he can stroke your hair and your face, his claws grazing your skin. Soon he’s kissing his way over your cheek, down your jawline, to the side of your neck. Every touch from his claws and his teeth reminds you of how badly he could hurt you if he wanted to.
He would never hurt you.
His kisses and touches ebb and flow with the intensity of the music; he’s a talented musician, and tonight, you’re his instrument. He urges soft moans and hums from your mouth with his touches, the sound absolute art to his ears.
“Husk…” you whisper as you lightly stroke him behind his ears. He shudders against you and kisses you more hungrily.
As the music swells in the background, you find yourself lying back on Husk’s mattress, his claws tangled in your hair as he kisses your mouth again. You unbutton his shirt just enough to stroke the thick patch of fur on his chest, and as you tune yourself into the rhythm of the music, you can anticipate the way he’ll be moving against you soon…
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cherrieguroo · 5 months ago
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good morning sheilinda nation
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baejax-the-great · 12 hours ago
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Veilguard does the important work of reminding us that people's religiousity is generally rooted entirely in rationalism, logic, and goodwill toward everyone in the world and not just specific ingroups.
When the Elvhen pantheon, who in many ways take after the Greek pantheon from our world, are revealed to be flawed individuals, something that the Dalish are already aware of because their myths convey some of those flaws all these years later, logically, the Dalish then abandon their gods instantly and without any sort of emotional response and turn toward the rational goal of killing those gods.
After all, during the Trojan war when Apollo felt slighted and decided to send a plague to wipe out the Achaeans (and their dogs for some reason), didn't the Trojans all look at each other and go, "Actually, that was a kind of fucked up thing for Apollo to do. And scary. There's nothing to stop him from using that ability against us. Maybe we should just go kill Apollo"?
No? They didn't do that? Because that would be absurd and entirely out of keeping with how people understand and express faith throughout all of history?
Weird. Well, I'm sure there's an example out there somewhere that jives with Veilguard's quality writing.
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koka-mi · 3 months ago
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Oh my gosh whyyyy am I so obsessed with numbers I don't like it at all this is driving me INSANEEEE😭😭IT'S GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS THE DAYS GO BY AAAA
#IT'S SO WEIRD I HATE IT I HATE IT SO FCKING MUCH#I've had this weird relationship with numbers for years but it's gotten so much worse#I'm so obsessed with even numbers and odd numbers likeeee#I have even days and odd days?? that's what I call them anyways#where on even days everything has to involve even numbers and on odd days everything has to involve odd numbers#like those are my safe numbers for those days#and if I use the wrong number on the wrong day something bad will happen so I have to.I guess?? neutralize it?? somehow..#usually I figure out how in the moment but other times I just panic#likee for example today's an (I'm assuming) even day right now. so I have to have my tv volume on an even number#I have to eat an even number of food today#I CANNOT rb something on tumblr if I'm not on an even numbered reblog or I'm not an even numbered note... that makes no sense lemme explain#so I always have to like posts I reblog it's a rule I have for some reason. so in order for me to reblog a post#I have to land on an even number when I rb it#so for example if a post has 172 notes I'll like it which'll give it 173 notes then I'll rb which'll give it 174 notes#but if the post already has 173 notes before I liked it then I'll just like and not rb bcz if I rb it'll be 175 notes#which lands on an odd number and ahasbdhfbdsfaedw#it's the same for odd days just vice versa (it'd have to be on 177 though bcz 5 is an unsafe number for me rn)#YEAH 100% unsafe numbers for me are 3 5 6 and 9 and any number involving those numbers (so 26 and 13 are still unsafe)#basically no matter if it's an even day or an odd day I cannot land on anything with those numbers#and if I don't follow these rules my brain made up then something awful will happen or my day will go bad#or something I wanna do won't go well#thess numbers apply to EVERYTHING. and and it's SO ANNOYINGGGG. I've been trying to ignore it but it's getting harder and harder HELPPSADNF#I tried to tell my mom abt it but she just says “oh your grandma's also like that. you probably got it from her”#THANKS GRANDMA FOR THE NUMBER OBSESSION :'D#vent
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macadam · 1 year ago
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Throwback to when someone referred to me as the matpat of transformers
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doerot · 9 months ago
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Ok and on that while I do think having the Option to switch ryan and kaitlyn in chapter 7 would have made a more interesting game, I do value time with the bestie and dylan/kaitlyn bonding time was the best part of the game imo
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melodiclune · 7 months ago
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Dear Nami,
I receive your document amidst great workloads, and yet it brings with it pleasant feels of camaraderie. I would be honoured to join your family. I will refrain from posting my witty quips within the official letter, but they shall be enclosed in the tags.
Thank you for the kind, lovely invitation. I do hope you and the family are well.
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pinkeoni · 2 years ago
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Something about Twin Peaks is that nearly every character has infinite rizz. Literally that town is full of rizzlers.
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biomic · 8 months ago
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struggling to think of another sentai episode that ends with our heroes in such a dire, hopeless state.
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musical-chick-13 · 14 days ago
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It is because these people are stupid. Hope this helps.
#like. I don't know what to tell you. most people who commit murder are not Super Genius Criminal Masterminds#if your priority is killing someone and not anything else you don't make a flashy spectacle of it???? most people who do shit like this#want attention. it's not about some moral obligation they want attention. and when people prioritize Getting Attention. they do some#pretty contradictory and myopic things. have you ever observed a human. jfc y'all are not serious people#current events#tw: guns#okay sorry I'M SORRY. I'll stop talking about this. I just feel like I'm going insane#worshiping this guy is NOT it#y'all are going to drive me to substance abuse is2g#In the Vents#also.#if you are a feminist. then you should be against this. hold on let me explain before you go 'how are those even related you're deranged'#violent men are typically the ones more likely to hate women and abuse their partners because of it. and spousal homicide is going to#be a LOT harder to do if no one has access to guns. if you say 'oh there's an acceptable situation where you can point blank shoot someone#because they're a loathsome enough person' then. these people are going to take away the message that if their girlfriend/wife/female#relative/partner/etc. is 'bad' enough. is making their lives difficult enough. then it is acceptable to murder them. if you say 'there is#an acceptable circumstance for this' then EVERYONE WILL THINK THAT *THEY* HAVE THE ACCEPTABLE CIRCUMSTANCE#holding up guns as the solution to your problems IS ONLY GOING TO END WITH MORE WOMEN MORE KIDS AND MORE MINORITIES DEAD#and if you think that's an acceptable sacrifice because someone you hate might die. then I think maybe you shouldn't be talking to me.#like I said. I'm not going to be patient anymore. this is non-negotiable for me. if you're valorizing this guy and the culture of#gun violence that made his actions possible then get out I don't want to talk to you.#oh also once again: if your takeaway from this is that I'm somehow defending the CEO and you come on my post to say that I'm putting#you on blast so everyone can point and laugh at you for your lack of reading comprehension. again hope this helps :)
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bluejay-07 · 1 month ago
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Six hour meeting? Check. Perform in show? Check. Ensconce self in blanket burrito and eat tortilla? Check.
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secret--history · 2 months ago
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the whole 'there are not very many Great Causes worth fighting for these days' from Julian scanned as WAY more out of touch than the moon landing thing for me the first time i read tsh
#like to the point of it being actively jarring when i got to him saying that#the secret history#'they landed on the moon??' well okay i guess it's not really their area#and they've been really out of touch with the news since it's also not really their area + they've been#off to the woods/a country house/etc and getting very drunk and killing deer and also people#i don't remember the exact dates re the moonlanding + the events of the book but like.#Sure. that's probably fair or at least kind of understandable#that could Feasably Happen On Accident at least#but julians like 'there isn't much worth fighting for these days' and um.#if you pay attention to literally anything happening in the world at any given moment at all. ever.#....what? literally what do you mean by this?#there have always been So So many Great Causes that people are dying for all the time constantly forever#and even if you've somehow managed to comoletely block out literally every piece of news/political development/etc#that's not really a reason to assume there Aren't. that's a reason to go like. well if there are any Great Causes left today then#I don't know about them. and even if we assume he's defining what makes a cause worth fighting for by classical values#and saying that that means for example that he wouldn't necessarily think of say the civil rights movement or liberatory movements etc#as fitting (which i think is also probably debatable- it comes to mind that the athenians valued (their own) freedom. political engagement#was valued but only the right kind from the right people. etc. what i'm saying is that#no i don't think they actually fit what julian would be thinking of as the classical mind's* idea of a great cause worth dying for#but also you could debate that/frame things differently/etc (*presumably there is a more particular subset of the population he has in mind#than just 'classical' or 'greek' in actuality. like. specifically those from whom we having writing/would have citizenship/etc.))#i'm certain there are plenty of arguments to be made. like plenty of people are fighting for various countries#it's not like wars or empires have stopped existing or other myriad conflicts have stopped existing#also in typing this i've realised he was maybe forshadowing henry's death#and now i need to go look up the exact quote and make another post i guess.#(also disclaimer that i'm aware i've phrased a lot of this clumsily. it is midnight these are the tags of a tumblr post and i am not sober.)#anyway to rephrase my initial point i just think with the moon landing thing that's One major event you missed.#if you're saying that there are No Great Causes Worth Fighting/Dying For (with the understanding that you think those are a thing#that can exist) then i think maybe you managed to skip out on hearing about significantly more#than just the one major event. that's much harder to manage i would think
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trevisos · 3 months ago
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my biggest goal for my dai replay is to figure out how to have quinn be better friends with/care more about solas so i get more emotional payoff in datv. i think this isn’t a very tall order but it’s an extremely funny problem to have to puzzle out. how do i make the antisocial lesbian care about the overcooked egg man
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approximateknowledge · 7 months ago
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that poll made think about mondo emerso again. somehow simultaneously the most generic yet interesting fantasy books young ak had the pleasure to read. like there's some actual interesting stuff going on beneath the surface. (*fammins* dear gog the implications. also elven bio-warfare, don't ask. also just san. one of my oldest fictional crushes... morally gray half-elf with a sick-ass wyvern go brrrr)
but above all the sheer *projection potential* for adhara in the third trilogy especially
im like 80% sure she had like, a direct hand in my egg cracking
why yes the pov character wakes without memory and has to *discover she's a woman*, and then ends up choosing a name for herself, and eventually she meets her creators and they literally deadname her
adhara is like the most trans allegory you can make a protagonist by accident
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also yes she does look like that
i will not comment further, you all have eyes
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