#yeah I am very normal about all that actually
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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 29/10✨
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
@xyuki-iris ha chiesto: I LOVE YOU'RE ART ALSO GOOD FOOD But I have a what if What if Redson found Mk having a panic attack over something serious about him being Trans.
Ouch poor baby Red Son would totally support MK and try to calm him down
@ashmeertheimp ha chiesto: First of all your story is glorious and congrats on getting lmk at the very top. Second does Mk want to work on his relationship with Nuwa. I think Nuwa did truly love Mk but she also loved everyone else on earth equally. Mk has forgiven Mac who actually made an effort to hurt Mk (past mistakes) while Nuwa was opposed but still didn't stop Mk from not fixing the pillar of heaven.
I always felt like after S5 his relationship with Nuwa is similar to the one Steven had with Rose after S5 of SU. So it's- complicated
@audioandart ha chiesto: mayhaps a silly question, but towards the very start of the mk shadow peach stuff when mk first shadows into the wall. He says "why is everything *more* flat". Is this implying he already sees the world as 2d the way we do or am I perhaps missing something? 😅 (I love your work! Have a good day 🫰)
ahah yeah I was!!
@fake-anjel ha chiesto: Your comic makes me stay awake at night thinking of the next cap, making theories and making imaginary scenarios and imaginary gacha reactions to them for some reason. I was wondering... If Wukong and Macaque have a child (hypothetically, and by the biological way) wich one would be the oven for the bun? You have a fan from Brazil<3
Well, I would say Wukong, but here comes the question: a Stone Monkey, born from a stone, would be able to reproduce themself? There are no other like the four celestial primates and MK, so I would assume that they weren't able to- reproduce normally. Also if they would does it mean the womb is a stone as well???
@sollythesalt ha chiesto: Just asking if Wukong is trans do his female organs also count as part of his un-glamored form or does he stay with his male ones when he drops his glamour? Also what does his glamour include in your au just out of curiosity?
No under the glamour and shapeshift he still has female organs
@dandy-doodles ha chiesto: I'm VICIOUSLY consuming your comic rn - It actually came across my feed from a reblog. Never watched the show before. Loved the comic so much I binged the entire series and now I'm sat with the task of reading JTTW. This hyperfixation is your fault I love you for it. @ivoronical ha chiesto: Hi! I don’t know how tumblrs asks work because I’ve never used them before, but just wanted to say that your art is ✨fabulous✨ and you’re shadowpeach bio parents au has convinced me to rewatch the show entirely. It’s also made Macaque one of my favorite characters and because of that I am halfway through making a cosplay of him completely from scratch and I’m very excited to finish it:) Anyways I’ve rambled enough. Have a nice day!!! @starzz-twi ha chiesto: Can I just say how much I adore your art! It inspires so much that I might try drawing lmk again 🫶🫶🫶🫶 @artemismoorea03 ha chiesto: I hope you know that your Bio Parents AU fills every waking moment. I swear I only get on Tumblr anymore to see if you've posted something. I eat up any art you post regardless of what fandom it is and I just have to tell you that your art tastes like a blue raspberry icee (the best kind). I hope you're having a fantastic day ♡
AWWW TYSM TO ALL OF YOU!!!!
@sakuralotus03 ha chiesto: What will family gatherings be like now that MK has 4 parents? Like his birthday or end-of-year celebrations. I want to see more of the dynamics of the 4 parents interacting and talking about their one and only child.🐷🤓☀️🌙
oH CHAOTIC INDEED
Anonimo ha chiesto: How does it feel to be one of those artists that like 70% of the fandom knows about
wait is that a random number or???
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will we maybe see Macaque interact with Bai He or Mei?? (I'm starved of DarkHorse/EnderDragon/NightFlare Duo and Raspberry/Black Cat Duo) But I am interested if you might make them interact! :D Anyways, I love how your art got better by each comic, you can see the improvement from the slight sharpness of the shapes in the first comics and the now softer lines.
mmmmm I will maybe I'll do some small scenes
Anonimo ha chiesto: Past Wukong working out: I'ma get so strong. Ain't no one beating me Present Wukong working out: I'ma be so good at hugging my son and husband.
AWWWWWW WHAT A GOOD BABA!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hello! I wanted to ask if we'll see just how sensitive Macaque's hearing is in your Au in a future comic maybe? Like... a thunderstorm happens or something when he's around FFM watching Mk and Wukong train or something that affects his hearing badly? But either way, love your art and style! :)
mmmm don't know if I have a scene planned for that...
Anonimo ha chiesto: Does Wukong and Macaque know about the other 2 Celstial Primates, Red-Hoarse Baboon and Lomg-Armed Gibbon, in your Bio Shadowpeach parents au?
I think so? In JTTW he knew so I would assume the same?
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will Macaque use his future vision at any time again in this comic? We now know in this Au he hasn't used it in years. But maybe will he use it again soon? I bet he won't but I still wanted to ask :)
not unless he is forced to
Anonimo ha chiesto: I’ve been listening to a song from a Pokémon movie: Always Safe by Cynthia, and I think of the Shadowpeach bioparents Au everytime
AWW that's beautiful the lyrics omg!!!
@notjustonefandom1 ha chiesto: So, I've been thinking about MK's staff. After he got it do you think he develops a habit of clasping his hands together, especiallywhen stressed or threatened? With the fluidity and energy he moves with, I think it would take a while for him yo find a chance to Summon the staff, especially if he isn't fast at it yet, so he just starts keeping his hands pressed together in preparation.
ooooohhh that's a cool idea!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Where does the Macaque has white fur head canon come from? I'm new to this fandom and I'm still learning things and I see it everywhere
I honestly have no idea but I guess either because Japanese Macaque are white furred or bc he died.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Ok so this may be a sensitive topic and definitely doesn't need to be answered so TW Did mk ever go through a depression thing after trying to die to save the universe in the last season in your au? A in like what if Wukong and Mac find out he used to SH?
hish. I'm not probably the right person to answer this. Probably he did had depression tendencies but didn't recognize them until someone pointed them out.
Anonimo ha chiesto: This ask os Going to be a little weird But Can I See Macaque Pining Wukong on the wall?In a Flirty way?(pretty Please?) I love Your Art so much!👑❤️🔥💎
Ouh.. *cleans forehead from sweat* is getting hot in here... maybe?
@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Wukong: OH BUDDHA, HE CALLED ME BABA!!!!! (SCREAMS WITH JOY) What DBK heard over the phone with his brother: OH andhdbrjjsm (feral monkey screeching)
Poor DBK gotta deal with the gossip now
@alastair-1205 ha chiesto: OMG THE MOST RECENT PART IM CRYING But I also love how Mac's first instinct is just grabbing Wukong and being like: "get out of hearing range before we freak out, get out of hearing range before we freak out, get out of-" you know? It's very funny but also builds on past comics since they woke MK up last time smth like this happened and I'm just !!!!!
GOTTA MAKE THE BABY SLEEP
@eerieqloss ha chiesto: OSISJJWJSJSJWWN OKAY WAIT SO IS MK GONNA START CALLING THEM MAMA AND BABA INSTEAD OF THEIR NAMES CONTINUALLY OR WAS IT JUST THAT ONE TIME
It wont be a one time!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I hope you are resting as you should Always remember to take your time, rest first, then work, ofc as far as possible 😅. I have a fun question (if you have the time ofc 👉🏻👈🏻): will we see Feral MK again? But you know, like another kind of "demonic learning" that maybe wukong or Mac will teach him to control or see that it's not bad as it looks
For now i want my baby to either be happy or traumatized not angry.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like i remember you asking about happier shadowpeach songs for your playlist, but I can't find the post anymore. But if you're still looking, Livingston's new song Glow reminds me of them and also made me think about the eclipse scenes in the comic.
Several of Livingston's other songs also give me shadowpeach vibes, but I think about them so much that I might just be seeing them everywhere at this point.
Oooh true a lot of his song fits really well!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: This is the only instance where having a kid really did bring a couple together.
TRUE LMAO
Anonimo ha chiesto: Soo...Wukong and Mac in the DBK Palace I have a question in my mind!!!! Actually I hope you to see it and draw it.. if you don't wanna it's okay! What if DBK & PIF flirt with each other or smt like this u know in front of shadowpeach?! They will probably look to each other and then blushing hard
HAHAHHA poor souls they would totally think of wanting to kiss each other but can't because they are emotionally constipated.
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Day 58
Hey remember when randomly a couple days ago in the event I mentioned that one of these days makes me irrationally angry??? Yeah this is the one.
So context for this one is that in the danganronpa section of a server I’m in someone asked a question around the lines of-
“Who is your favorite character for a Mastermind AU?”
Nowadays if you asked me, I’m very fond of the Mastermind AU I drew for Toko and Komaru during Tokomaru Week this year, and it’d probably be my answer nowadays.
However if you asked Jem from several months ago, who was brainrotted to absolute hell over these two to the point that she could barely form an opinion on other characters (don’t worry I fixed that issue in my brain, kinda), you know damn well her instant response was Mikan.
At first it was kind of a non-serious filler answer because I didn’t have anyone else who piqued my interest for that at the time. Arguably at first I wasn’t even interested in Mastermind Mikan initially. And then my brain saw I was apathetic to it and was like “Hold my drink” before it spiraled into an AU, which I of course would then use for Day 58 at the time.
I drew up a character design and some basic details in a total rush, and then drew a really basic but cute enough image of the two alongside various headcanons for this version of the relationship. I actually intended to draw a bonus image of the two on their own just because I felt like I was kinda scamming ya’ll if I didn’t. However I have like, none of the time for that on my hands right now, I’m JUST starting to learn Web Design at the time of writing this. If people like this enough I might try and actually draw some proper art of this AU again though.
As for why this day makes me angry, uhhhh yeah no it’s completely irrational. I have no justification in the slightest I just know that every time i scroll past this one while looking through the folder of Junkan art for the project I just get annoyed.
I’m actually really happy with the Mastermind Mikan design, might be a biiiit overdesigned? But let’s be real if we’ve learned anything over the course of whatever the hell you’d call this project, it’d be that I am nothing if not a woman of pure excess, especially within the small realm of this ship.
Okay so hi this is Jem from like, slightly in the future. And when I say slightly I mean like 20 minutes ahead of the previous paragraph.
So I drew a Monokuma for this AU. Something I didn’t do for my Mastermind Tokomaru AU. I kind of had the idea for a Mikan version of Monokuma in my head for a decent amount of time, partially because I also want to do some art of Mikan and Junko in Shiro/Kurokuma cosplays later (yeah sorry spoilers there is no shiro or kurokuma representation in this project. But worry not, UDG does have representation, muuuuuch later). That made me think about how Shirokuma does kind of have similarities to Mikan (i think, it’s been awhile), which made me realize that monokuma but purple sounded neat. So there’s this now.
I imagine that Junko would still be voicing this version from behind the scenes. Partially because unless it’s literally an Ultimate Voice Actor Mikan AU there’s no way she can do that for a whole killing game. The other reason is I just kind of imagine that Mikan would take a similar role to Tsumugi, being both a member of the killing game and the mastermind, rather than what Junko did where she faked her death and orchestrated from behind the scenes without suspicions. Also yes this would mean that Junko is behind the scenes as normal, just that this time she’s solely focused on managing Monokuma. The Control Room is directly connected to Mikan’s room for easy, non-suspicious access to all the mechanisms. And also so the two of them can cuddle at night, obviously.
Oh yeah with this Monokuma Redesign I would probably also change Mikan’s hair pin to reflect the same color scheme, even if I do like the way it looks with normal Monokuma colors. I would also probably make a “normal” Mikan design for this version. Just tone back certain parts of it to give the illusion that she isn’t the mastermind. Y’know, for the game that will totally exist based off this au, definitely.
Honestly I think rambling about it has made me soften up on this one a bit, for now at least. So for real I might try and draw more of this AU regardless of whether people want it or not. That said y’know, if you DO want more of it feel free to say so cause that will in fact give me some mild motivation lol.
Oh I guess last thing. When I first showed the initial Reference image of this Mikan to friends one of them pointed out that I accidentally made her plan into, what is essentially the American Healthcare System. I swear to god that wasn’t intentional but it did make me laugh.
As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~
#danganronpa#junkan#junko enoshima#mikan tsumiki#enomiki#junko x mikan#junkomikan#enoshima junko#tsumiki mikan#shipping#mastermind au#au#monokuma
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guess who made it to the Black Sea arc today :D
kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me
(rambles bellow vvv)
Anyways ensa has become one of my favorite NPCs and I think Lizzie and Ava’s backstory is gonna have me throw myself over the boat railing. I’m very normal about the past 7 episodes and did not watch them all in one day. Who do u think I am, what do u take me for (I totally did) also Lizzie’s “I loved her” had me physically ILLLLLLL AHGAFAHAGAGAGGA I WAS GONNA CRY. I WAS JUST CASUALLY LISTENING AND HAD MY GODDAMN HEART RIPPED OUT. I need more caspian content……. Please god…… I beg…… also the fucking pin I can’t that was the funniest shit at like midnight last night. Also drey my love I actually adore this stupid mothefucker so much. I don’t even know WHEN he snuck his was into my top npcs but Jesus Christ he will not go AWAY FOR FUCKS SAKE. HES SO SILLY. I LOVE HIM. also MAY FERRIN MY BELOVED HOLDS HER GENTLY IN MY PALMS. I’ve never felt more fear then the boat ride of e98/99 (I think at least it might be smth else idk I’m tired) that shit had me SCAREDDDDD. anyways I remembered this one poly pirate fic I read that took place during that episode so now ima go back and reread it soon so I can suffer. Also I fully see pistol whip and I also see navy seal. I’m just, quite honestly, in love with Lizzie and think she needs a hug from just somebody. CHIPS CASUAL I LOVE U TO HER MY SON GET OVER HERE IM GONNA CRY. also THIS JUST IN, WERE RECEIVING REPORTS THAT A NEW FAD IS TAKING THE NATION BY STORM. ITS NAME. JORTS. BUT IT APPEARS AS IF THEY BREAKTHROUGH IN JEAN SHORT SPLICING TECHNOLOGY IS CAUSING IRREGULAR WEATHER PATTERNS ALL ACROSS THE GLO- WOOOO ITS THE WARMER SEASON SO I CANT WEAR JEANS I REALLY LIKE THE DENIM, BUT NOT THE LENGTH OF THE SEAM. MY MOM DRESSES CAS AND MY DAD LIKES TO PREEN IM NOT LIKE EITHER OF THEM I GOT THE RECESSIVE JEAN. JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT. A JORT STORM ITS A CATEGORY 5. JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT. I SAID A JORT STORMS COMMIN SO RUN AND HIIIIIDE. JORTICANE. JORTNADO. JORTNAMI. JORTQUAKE. JORTRUPTION. JORTALANCHE. JOOOORTPOCALYPSE. THE JORT STORMS COMMIN. JORT. SO YOU BETTER START RUNNING FAAAAAST ITS A CHASEEE. BUT BE CAREFUL CAUSE THESE JORTS WILL CHAFFE YOU YEAH. THEY’RE THE NEW SENSATION. JORTS. WEAR EEM TO EVERY OCCASION JOOOOORTS IN THE POOOOLL. OR EVEN BETTER WEAR EM TO A FUNERAL YEAH. MY PERSONALITY IS 99% JORTS I GOT A GENETIC TEST BUT ALL MY JEANS WERE SHORTSSSSS A JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT. JORT STORM, ITS A CATEGORY 5. JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT I TAKE OFF MY FUCKIN JORTS I GOT ON JORTS INSIIIIIDEEEE. BREAKING NEWS, MILLIONS OF AMERICANS ARE BEING SUCKED DIRECTLY INTO THE JORTEX, AND ITS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THIS STUDIO. TO MY WIFE CHERYL, AND SON TIMMY, I LOVE YOUUUUUU. JORTS. THE ELDERS FORETOLD. JORTS. OF A FASHION SO BOLD. A NEW GOD OF THE EARTHHHHH. TO SEAL IT IN DENIM AND TURN IT INTO JEARTH. kazoo.
anyways back to the boat I go. Time to binge the suckening. I will most likely write more about jrwi eventually
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Day 5 of killjoys week - Hopeful lies
An easy plan, really
quickly in, quickly out
grab the child and be five feet high before they notice you're gone
So why do my hands tremble when I count the beads around my wrist
again and again and again
trying to send a prayer to a god I don't believe in
Why do I hug my brothers tighter than usual
seeing broken hope in their eyes
and I know the same is in mine
they smile but their lips drip poison and blood
and I
I smile back
because everything is gonna be fine
we are always fine
always
But why do I feel a clawed hand on my shoulder
grip I shake off
instead white walls outstretching their piercing embrace
air leaving my lungs and turning into fog in front of my face
So I strap the holster to my thigh
and grin to root fear in Saturn's heart
because killjoys never die
and we have destiny covering our backs
#can you tell I have lots of feeling about the fab four and them lived on promises of fake future living too fast because they can never die#until they can and them believing they are immortal because they are stupid kids and everyone treats them that way#and when they realise their mistake they are already nothing but angels fallen onto cold tile floor in pools of blood#and also how I believe they knew they were about to die but also believed they weren't and that they would get out like always#yeah I am very normal about all that actually#also can we talk about how the radio crew was ready as plan B because that is uh.. a lot actually#anyway I am sorry I am too tired to draw and well I cannot put it into picture either tbh so you get whatever this is instead#killjoys week 2023#ttlotfk#ttlofk#danger days#my posts
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forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.
#wta tennis#atp tennis#i feel like the era of...shall we say 'federer-esque' players is waning#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand#as the sport moves more toward a necessity for fitness and athleticism players do not put as much emphasis on 'art'#which imo is fine! i think the 'art' of tennis is too protected in some ways. which i maybe will expand on later.#but i think it's too much for the tags of a (mostly) silly post#but yeah you can hear a lot of commentators touch on it#i know nadal even said something abt it recently(ish)#but i think as tennis is gradually less associated with this abstract 'image' (e.g. the obsession with federer's 'grace' and 'class')#players are coming in thinking 'this is a physical battle and i am going to win' and very much leaning into the *competition*#which not to say that they're ignoring/denying the mental aspects at all because i actually do think many players are very strategic/aware#and in truth i think many tennis players ARE actually very smart#but i also think it's less apparent because more and more players are able to just hit the shit out of the ball and call it a day#which leaves you with the occasional shot/point/game/set/match etc where it seems like they don't know what the fuck they're doing#but you think about most sports which evolve in phases#it's very normal for certain player profiles to become more or less popular as the landscape of the sport changes#or as new techniques/strategies are developed#or as new communities/populations become interested!#extreme example but think of like. high jump's fosbury flop. that was one guy!#one guy who changed the entire fucking sport! so it makes perfect sense that tennis is continuing to evolve#given how many unique players have come and gone#and how much the sport is changing externally as well as internally#anyways. this got out of hand but i love sports and i love tennis and i love my brainless players.#this whole post was inspired by rewatching sabalenka v boulter and aryna completely missed an overhead by like five feet. lol#love her <3
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imagine you're luce, and you're born the heir to a mafia family. you're mafia-born, and so of course also mafia-raised, and then also a donna-to-be. you're raised to be able to take on the role, to be good and capable at it, are taught to make one of your core beliefs about how the many must come before the few, because the family must always come first. you're going to be the donna, of course you must always prioritize the family above all else, it's your foremost and most important duty.
if caring about the few too comes at the price of the many, comes at the price of the family, is it even worth it? if the happiness gained from it comes at the price of a greater suffering for others, is there even any meaning to it, even if it's your happiness we're talking about? you understand, don't you?
you're not sure if you do, but you care about your family, love it, want to do right by it once you become their donna, so you nod, listen and learn.
(you don't have to be taught the pain and loss and guilt and anger and bitterness is a fair price to pay for the pain you decide has to be inflicted and the sacrifices you decide must be made, including by yourself. it's the least you could do, even.)
imagine you're luce, and the gift of foresight runs through your blood.
you would not call it a gift. you did not ask for it either. and you'll never come to see it as something wanted by you.
you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course it's exactly the way you wanted it to go. you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course you didn't care to try hard enough to change it. you saw the future before the shape of it had yet to be breathed into existence, and who's to say it didn't come into existence only because you saw it happen? you saw the future, and it happened worse than it had to for it.
you can see the future, but you still can't make it anything else than what it was always going to be. you can even make the visions happen at your will, but you still have no say on what you see or how much you see. you still can only be the witness of it before anyone else can.
it does mean double and longer the happiness sometimes, means relief and gratefulness and hope beyond words, and it'd be cruel of you to voice out loud your feelings for others to hear the many more times it means something else.
you can see the future, and it doesn't make it any kinder on you than on anyone else, does not give you any more power or control over it than anyone else, but at least you can see the future. you're given the time to make peace with it, to brace yourself for it, to bargain with it, to plead and beg and fight against it however desperately and hopelessly, even if in the end it still happens exactly as you saw it would.
(you can see the future, and it still doesn't hurt you any less than anyone else when it happens, but you don't expect anymore for anyone to hold you any less responsible for it anyway. it would be nice for someone to do it one day, but you understand.)
you can see the future, and you decide it's a kindness to both yourself and others to keep it for yourself as much as possible whenever you can.
imagine you're luce, and your family has this set of rings they've looked after and protected for as long as your family has existed. they're one set of three of the most important artifacts in the world, ones that help in safeguarding its existence and balance. they're duty, the very first one and the most important one your family was created for.
the pacifier around your mother's neck is duty too, and the most important and powerful artifact among twenty-one in safeguarding the world and its balance. it's been passed down in your family too, from mother to daughter. it's duty, but less tied to your family and much more to the blood running through your veins. it's a curse, in fact, as it demands heavy sacrifices the rings don't, and one that can only be tied to the blood running through your veins.
(your mother looks at you as if expecting some kind of reaction from you, and you can only wonder at which point you weren't supposed to see it as a given. duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for a long time now. is it even duty if it doesn't require any sacrifices from you?)
imagine you're luce, and your mother dies for duty. she's the donna, and so she dies for your family. she's the sky arcobaleno, and so she dies for the world. she's your mother, but she dies anyway, doesn't fight it either, even knowing she will leave you behind, even knowing she won't ever get to see what you look like all grown-up.
everywhere you look, duty stares back at you, from your mother and the pacifier around her neck, her love for your family and the life she gives up for it, her love for you and how she dies anyway while you're still only a child. duty, from your family members and how they die for you and kill for you, how they do both at your command, how their lives are in the palms of your hands and how they weigh only as much as you allow them to at a time. duty, from the knowledge your foresight gives you and the shackles tied to the blood running through your veins.
your mother's only duty while she lives too. she loves you, but she'd have had to give birth to you anyway even if she didn't. she loves you, but she still gave birth to you even knowing the kind of life you'd have to live, the kind of hands you'd inevitably end up with, the burdens she'd have to lay on your shoulders, passing them down from her own. because she loves you, she finds the resolve to raise you to be able to face all of it head-on and come out on top, but she'd have had to raise you much the same way anyway even if she didn't.
(she doesn't die for you, doesn't fight to be able to keep living with you, and this, too, is your mother surrendering to duty one last time.)
(you're so sick of it, so angry at it, so hateful and resentful against it. you're so stifled by it to the point you've stopped being able to breathe for a long time now. or you would have been if they had taught you how to face duty in this way too.
it's for the better they didn't. a silver lining, sparing you pain that isn't necessary for you to go through. everyone you turn to only teaches you how to keep holding your breath longer, and you listen and learn, obedient and dutiful as you've ever been.
you're grateful for it too. really, you are.)
everywhere you look, there's no room for you to so much as question any of it, let alone anything more. duty is commendable, something you ought to look up to and strive towards, strive to achieve. duty is the right thing to do. of course it is.
(you exhale a breath of relief that shakes you down to your very core.
thank god, it's at least the right thing to do.
you're grateful for it beyond words. really, you are.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know the choice you'll make when climbing that mountain, when standing on top of it, when waiting for a bright light to shine down on you from above. you know the choice you'll make then, even when pregnant with your daughter.
it doesn't matter since how long you knew, be it years, months, days, hours or minutes before. all that matters is that before you can even contemplate the idea of making another choice and all its implications and possible consequences, before the thought can even come alive in your mind, you already know the choice you'll make.
(you can see the future, but just because you already saw it, it doesn't mean it's now set in stone.
you can see the future, but just because you're given the chance to fight to change it, it doesn't mean it still won't happen every bit like you saw it.
it doesn't mean it can't still happen even worse than how you first saw it happen because you fought to change it, no matter how already dreadful it originally was.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know they'll be others with you standing on top of that mountain. you're the only one who'll know it before it happens.
(because you can see the future.
and oh, you did not ask for it.)
they're strangers, people you don't owe anything to. adults who choose to show up at the first meeting, and to show up to every following mission after that. the chosen seven, whose ambitions and prides lead them to walk the path of the seven strongest too once laid down in front of them.
you don't force their hands in making any of those choices for them. you're not responsible for any of them.
you become coworkers then, accomplices, your hands stained in blood to various extent, but now dipping in the same pool of blood as you strive towards the same goal together. you have each other's backs, learn each other's strengths and weaknesses, learn each other's personalities, likes and dislikes. you keep having to spend more time together as the missions keep coming your way.
inevitably, you come to care about them. even more damning, they come to care about you in return. enough so they'll look after your daughter even after what'll happen on top of that mountain. enough so they'll look after your granddaughter too, warmly and fondly enough she'll call one of them uncle.
you're still the only one who knows they'll stand together with you on top of that mountain, not knowing what'll happen on it like you do.
and you do care about them, you swear you do. really, you do.
(you care about them the same way your mother cared about you, and how she still raised you to have steel in you and be made of sharp edges you know how to use. you care about them the same way you care about your family, and how you still send them to their deaths as needed so the rest of your family you care about just the same can keep on living longer and safely. this is the only way you've had the chance to learn how to care and love.
duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for as long as you can remember. it doesn't matter at which point sacrifices came to mean love to you too.
and most of all, you love your daughter more than anything else in the world.)
imagine you're luce, and this is who you are. this is who you've been raised to be, the only way you've been given room to grow up to be. this is the life you've lived and the kind of life that has shaped you as the person you are now. this is what you've been taught and told is the best version of yourself you could have grown up to be. this is who you ended up being by what you've been taught and told are all the right choices to make.
you're still the only one who knows what is about to happen on top of that mountain. it hasn't happened yet. the fate of the world hangs on what'll happen on top of that mountain, the same world you'll have to give birth to your daughter in. the same daughter you're currently pregnant with.
now imagine you're luce, look me in the eye and tell me you'd know how to even form the thought of the possibility of there being any other choice to make. look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't look at the only choice in front of you, and know deep in your bones it's the only right choice to make. that it is right of you to make it. because it simply has to be.
(imagine you're luce, and you're not doomed by the narrative. of course, you're not.
why would you need to be when the narrative has painstakingly shaped you all your life to become its perfect, faithful and dutiful sacrificial lamb?
and then, imagine you're luce, and you're even grateful for it, so, so very grateful it held up its end of the bargain too.
truly, you are.)
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#khr headcanons#khr luce#khr arcobaleno#arcobaleno curse#sky arcobaleno#this post is first and foremost for the luce stans girlies#so maybe like. the whole five of us tops 😌#everyone else is also welcome to interact with this post but yes i am a luce stan who's very pro she didn't ever do anything wrong ever#and i know that and i love her for it <3#but also this is not a 'this is why you should love luce too actually' post#or even a 'this is why you should forgive her for the choices she made actually' post#like i totally get how and why one can dislike/hate her. genuinely#but this is a 'you totally lose me if you then follow up by saying she still doesn't deserve understanding or compassion or sympathy or#even pity' post#i mean come on. she WAS standing on top of that mountain too. she bore the curse just the same as them. was as much a victim of it as the#rest of them. in fact the sky arco curse is arguably the WORST of them all so like. yeah#the sky arco but luce specifically to me is such a tragic character is what this post is about#definitely not enough for her to be considered as doomed by the narrative but like#the narrative was in need of (seven) someone to take one for the team and tho it did choose luce without asking for her opinion about it#/she/ then decided that the best course of action was for her to /let/ herself become perfect for the job and like???#i just love thinking about the implications of it and how she might have ended up with that kind of mentality#my girl has never been okay a day in her life and i also will never be normal about it <3#also i might also post this one on ao3 in the following days so it can reach like. maybe a whole two more luce stan girlies 😌
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Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...
And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!
#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors#but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years#i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them#by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off#given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate#but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively#cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence#hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems#but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects#such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me#even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick#IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH#awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day#silvi talks
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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened#my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda#ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game#because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something#normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have#when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think#i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing#others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie#but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy#and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him#and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me#i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder#this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for#literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND#i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better#yapping#diary#loz#pokemon
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thinking about mtt literally physically dragging eachother down and being restrained to eachother because theyre genuinely that fucking ass for eachother but then it means i'd have to decide which of them to humiliate by putting a collar on them. and i can't choose. if they dont all equally suffer than whats the point man 🙁🙁🙁
#i think they'd all have interesting reactions to it 2#like a permanent collar that cant be taken off. to make even more gruesome what if it were like built into the BONE????#or it could just be something less extreme like bone carvings. killer would absolutely do that shit#anyways i think horror would be the most reactive to it. anger is the most intriguing emotion#and also dog horror real. anyways he'd hate to be demeaned and disrespected like that. he has an ego and honor man and this is cutting it#dust drags him around constantly. killer pets him and disregards his boundaries. like a fucking DOG#because horror hates kist enough that he'd never let them get vulnerable enough. not that it stops killer LMAO#dust thinks some of horrors hatred towards them is a projection of his own self hatred (and hed lowkey be right)#loser. dust i think would be unique because to me he'd be a bit fine with it#i mean i think itd be hidden under paps scarf so it wouldn't be a constant reminder of horror n killer#but he lets the two hold the leash at least a bit. give him an eensy bit of touch and let a few insults slide#but the second he decides that even the smallest thing is enough he gets ticked off and then yk. someone has to put bunny back in his place#because dust is chill enough to let normal things in his eyes pass. he's not very reactionary or the type to immediately bite back#(since dust would just avoid horror and killer if he did meet them. means he has some sort of tolerance for them. keeping his peace fr)#but the moment hes reminded that god these two do suck and i shouldn't be letting this happen all of the held back anger comes out#killer would seek out the force and stuff. horror would treat him like shit because it makes himself feel good and killer look like an idio#dust doesn't even glance at him though and it pisses killer off. both of their actions do actually#like WTF DUST you guys literally put this on me. treat me like the piece of shit i know you think i am#but also STOP HORROR!!!! dont pull me around and demean me im not a pet i dont want to be treated that way even tho i say it do#yeah hes caught in a standstill. AND SO AM I do you see my issue. cannot pick one specific#all the trio would have such interesting reactions i cant just choose one to solely suffer......... anyways mttpoly am i right#should i tag this. like majority of the interesting stuff is in tags. but also i didnt post today i have a duty#dust sans#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule rant#this just ended up being me thinking about mtt with collars. maaan what about handcuffs and chains and other restrictive things#having them have restraining relationship isnt enough i need them to PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN EACHOTHER
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Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
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#ever think about the fact they both have cups now or#sorry my haterism against the every team that isnt the cats aside like#am the only one getting a little emotional here#sorry you can tell all i did last night was go through his old twt yeah#very embarrassing that my priv was just me crying over a mans electronic footprint hes longed since abandoned and my bestie making fun of m#“please look away i need PRIVACY rn” “no <3"#i will never recover from this actually#the ekky reposted IS SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEEEE#sorry ill be normal from now on just give me like 5 seconds i promise
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i think anyone who met me anytime between like april of 2022 until jan of 2023 should forget everything they know about me actually
#i look back on that WHOLE period and am just like *ough* agdj#like fr so sorry to all the people who had at least one (1) conversation with me when i studied abroad agdh#i was like. Crazy Bonkers Insane and not in the funny haha way agdh#the way i was overcomponsating for *everything* and it really showed agdjsg#look sometimes 6+ close relatives and friends die in a single year#and you spend that whole year living as a shell of yourself and behaving in a way that is very much Not Normal Hfjsb#like i think about how i was when i studied abroad and just want to die in shame agdjs#like i was skipping class not making friends behaving like an Actual Crazy Person#who tf EVER thought i was okay i would stay up like 48 hours or smth crazy i wAS UNWELL#anyway yeah to all the individuals out there who’ll never read this and had the unfortunate circumstance of knowing me during that time:#i’m actually really normal typically and u should forget everything u know about me agfksg#it actually haunts me day in day out😭#if u wanna know how bad it was: i got ghosted like. *multiple* times by people i was trying to befriend in my classes agdjs#i at some point just called it quits cause i could Not make a good impression agfhs#it was Bad Bad y’all like its all on me for being hashtag despicable but it was BAD
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thought again how overwhelmingly lonely akira would become after everything while time does its healing. u go from having a twenty-something ppl around u at all times to being alone. no one to knock on ur door in the morning, no ppl going in & out, no chaos of sudden fights. even in the (more likely) case where akira forgets its like. this haunting feeling of having forgotten something u shouldnt have. guy who goes to every social gathering ever to have that chaotic energetic experience of having so many ppl around again
#stardust speaking !#meeting some of the most important ppl to u and losing them in a yr is uhhh a lot#akiras had a lot of themes of not wanting to leave their world just yet/see through what theyre there for#as well as questions like 'what will /i/ be doing next time x happens?' in a very...hm. accepting way? casual?#actually idk if theres ever been any point where its been 'yeah probably a year and then we'll see what happens'#but considering akira went from 'i wanna go home;_;' to 'whats the way to make sure all of u are safe in the fight against the moon'#as well as what they knew about them appearing right after their last battle w the moon. theres. suspicions. i am sure of it#either way there Is that one 1.5 segment too.......#I LOST MY THREAD#but. lots of stressful topics too#since akira knows how many wizards THEY had to summon and the implication the old sage summoned at least one too#thinks about some of the drusilla event lines again.....forget being special i wish we had met under normal circumstances......#i had more to say about this topic but it also feels like just repeating myself i just think its gonna SUCK for akira#thinking about some lines in kk's diary too...T_T very akira to me. ill go find them again l8r
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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I think Three and Eight. My guys. They actually glued onto each other in the immediate week-ish following Octo Expansion in a very desperate 16 year old way that also blew up in their faces within the next week, and they then spent the next few months avoiding each other. And during that time (/during their reintroduction to each other) they beat their inner agents and after that everything kind of normalized and they got back together in a much healthier way.
#prince talks#well 'beat their inner agent' is maybe not quite the right phrasing for three.#something more akin to letting her own ass get beat and then taking Eight's hand.#'I am not your savior (and I don't need to be) and you are not my enemy' or something as the lesson#which I'm sure wouldn't make for a very fun gameplay experience which is why we never see it (/jokey)#Eight however we all know how her Inner Agent Three plays. 'you are no better than me. and isn't that beautiful?' is her takeaway#however they also need to have horrible teenager relationship event along the way. You know how it is.#the months long break in between is good and healthy for them they get to be people.#and then they both individually decide yeah actually I do have feelings about this girl. And I can be normal about it now#goodwin (8)#Three (3)#<-there they can have tags now. they are people. proper ocs.
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