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#yeah I am very normal about all that actually
lulunothulu · 1 day
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“Phone neighbor”
Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader
Summary: You’re bored one night and decide to text your phone neighbor…who happens to be a very hot (and cocky) aviator.
Content: drinking, fluff
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Friday nights are so boring. Especially when you have nothing to do for the night.
Your friend, Natasha, invited you to go to the bar she and her aviator buddies frequent. Hard Deck, was that the name? Who knows. Either way, you didn’t think hitting a bar right now would do you much good.
You’d been in a reclusive and lonely mood all week but right now, you were feeling adventurous.
You pull your phone out of your pocket and dial the first nine digits of your number but changed the last number to the following one that came after yours.
Let’s play a game of phone number neighbor.
You: Hi, so this is random, but you’re my number neighbor.
Them: Oh really?
You: Yes… so you’re from Texas too?
Them: Born and raised in Austin.
You: That’s so cool, I was raised in El Paso and Houston.
Them: Nice! Are you still there?
You: Nah, I’m in California. How about you?
Them: Funny enough, I’m in California too. I’m in the Navy, a pilot 🤠
You: Oh shit! You might know my friend, Natasha Trace.
———
Jake smiled down at his phone. “Hey Phoenix!”
Nat turns around, rolling her eyes at him. “What?”
“I think I just met your friend.”
“What?” She looks around. “Where? And who?”
“I don’t know their name, let me ask,” he says. He looks down at his phone, sending a quick text before smiling and telling her your name.
“Holy shit!” She laughs.
“Is she single?” Jake asks.
“She is actually…give me a second.”
———
“Hello?” You say, answering your phone.
“What the hell are you doing?” Nat asks.
You can hear the noise and chatter coming from the bar you knew she’d be at.
“I’m at home doing a face mask,” you tell her.
“No I mean, with Hangman,” she tells you.
“Who’s Hangman?”
“The person you’re texting?” She laughs.
Hangman: So you know Phoenix? How?
You: We grew up together. She’s practically my sister.
“Hey, he’s texting me right now,” you tell her.
“I have an idea.”
Hangman: What do you look like?
You: I’ll send you a picture of you send me one too.
Hangman: What? You want proof?
You: Sure, let’s call it that.
Hangman: [Picture]
Hangman: I’m on the left, that’s Bob in the middle, and Fanboy on the end.
Hangman: Your turn.
You smile, sending him a picture of you with your green face mask, hand up in a peace sign and lips in a duck face position.
Hangman: That’s not what I expected but still hot.
Hangman: Wait a second… did Nat call you?
You: Maybe…
[Incoming call from ‘Hangman’]
“Hello?”
“Hey, mask lady. Nat!” You hear him say. His voice is deep and southern drawl thick. “Tell your friend to send me a real picture of her.”
“Y/N?” You hear her say.
“Hey, Nat.”
“Send this pretty boy your face. He’s desperate and threatening to make me drive him to your house.”
You laugh. “Fine. Should I send the one with my tits pushed up?”
“Jesus Christ, tell her yes.” You hear Hangman say in the background.
“Tell him that I’ll send him a normal one and to stop listening to our conversation,” you tell Nat. “Actually, pass him back.”
“Hi,” you hear Hangman say.
“Hi back, cowboy,” you reply.
“I like that nickname, makes me sound a lot cooler than I am,” he tells you.
You laugh. “I’d like to know your real name, and not your callsign.”
“I’m Jake. Jake Seresin,” he tells you. “You don’t have to tell me your name. I already know.”
“Yeah I figured that much,” you mutter.
“When can I see you in person?” He asks.
“When are you free?” You smile and bite your lip.
“How about now? Come to Hard Deck.”
“I don’t really do bars…”
“Then I’ll come to you. What’s your address?”
You laugh. “I don’t even know you like that. What if you’re a psycho?”
“I wouldn’t be a top pilot in the navy sweetheart.” You chuckle, making him wait before he asks, “Soooo can I come over?”
“Have you been drinking?”
“Not really,” he tells you.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“You can come over. But bring food, I’m starving.” You tell him.
“Same,” he tells you. “And it’ll give you enough time to get ready and wash that face mask off.”
Fuck I forgot about that.
“I’ll see you soon.”
———
A face wash, makeup application, and teeth brushing later, you hear Hangman—Jake—ring the doorbell.
After changing into some cute sweats, you run downstairs and answer the door.
“Hey,” you say.
“Hey yourself,” he says. He’s a lot taller than you thought he’d be. And a lot hotter than you thought too. He holds up a bag of takeout and a gym bag. “I brought food and a change of clothes.”
He’s wearing his khaki Aviation uniform still.
“Yeah, come on in.” You step to the side, allowing him to come in. “Bathroom’s down the hall and to the left.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” he smiles.
God his smile made him so much hotter.
When he comes back from the bathroom changed and in gray sweatpants and a Texas Longhorns shirt, you smile and wave him over to your couch.
“What’re you watching?” He asks.
“Nothing that the moment,” you tell him. “I was waiting for you.”
“How sweet.” He smiles. “This has to be the best first date I’ve a been on in a long time.”
“Who said this was a date?” You ask, raising your eyebrows.
“Oh, did I assume?” He cockily smirks at you which makes your cheeks turn red. “And from the way you’re blushing, I’d say you’d like this to be a date.”
“Shut up,” you mutter, a smile playing on your lips.
Two hours later, Jake is still at your place and your head is resting on his shoulder.
“That was a cute movie,” he tells you. “Why did I cry so much?”
“Because Toy Story 3 is ruthless,” you sigh, wiping your eyes.
“Either way, I don’t think I can sleep if we don’t watch something else.”
You sit up and face him. “Why? You too sad to leave?”
“No, I don’t want to leave yet,” he says truthfully. “Plus, it’s my turn to choose a movie.”
“Which is?”
“Legally Blonde.”
You smile, scoffing before laughing and shaking your head. “You surprise me.”
“In a good way, I hope.”
“Definitely,” you nod.
“Can I surprise you one more time?” He asks, voice barely over a whisper.
You shrug and smirk. “Depends on what it is.”
He places a hand on your cheek, snaking his fingers to the back of your neck.
“Can I ask you one more thing?”
“That counts as a question,” you whisper.
He chuckles. “That one doesn’t count.”
“Go ahead.”
He takes a deep breath, leaning in close to the point his nose touches your own. Your heart is pounding, excitement and anticipation flowing through your body.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please do.”
So he does, soft and sweet at first. That is, until you pull his head in, deepening the kiss. Your mouths race, devouring and exploring every inch of your mouths. You shift your body, straddling Jake’s lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, something you notice feels so normal, you don’t want it to end.
“Take me upstairs.” You order.
“Yes ma’am.”
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nabaath-areng · 1 day
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Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...
And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!
#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors#but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years#i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them#by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off#given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate#but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively#cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence#hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems#but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects#such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me#even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick#IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH#awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day#silvi talks
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inkspiredwriting · 2 days
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A Strand of Silver
Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader
Warnings: none
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Y/n Hargreeves was having one of those mornings. You know the type: spilled coffee, mismatched socks, and the eternal struggle to find her keys. As she rushed into the bathroom to get ready for the day, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Normally, she didn’t scrutinize her reflection too much, but today, something shiny caught her eye.
“Wait, what?” Y/n muttered, leaning closer to the mirror.
There, in the midst of her hair, was a single, unmistakable strand of silver. She plucked it out and held it up to the light, squinting at it as if it were some foreign object.
“Oh, no,” she groaned, her voice tinged with melodrama. “I’m turning into my mother!”
Just as Y/n was contemplating her impending transformation into a full-fledged silver fox, Five Hargreeves walked into the bathroom, his shirt half-tucked and his tie in a state of disarray.
“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” he asked, eyebrow arched in amusement.
Y/n turned to him, holding up the gray hair as if it were evidence of a crime. “Look at this!” she said, her tone a mix of shock and horror. “Gray hair! I’m only 35!”
Five peered at the hair, then back at Y/n, a smirk spreading across his face. “Welcome to the club, darling. Want me to dye mine gray so we can match?”
Y/n glared at him, though her lips twitched in a reluctant smile. “It’s not funny, Five. I thought I had more time before this started happening.”
Five leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “Oh, it’s hilarious. You’re acting like this is the end of the world.”
Y/n huffed, tossing the gray hair into the sink. “You’re supposed to be supportive, not laugh at me.”
Five’s smirk softened into a genuine smile. “I am supportive. I support the fact that you’re still gorgeous, gray hair and all.”
Their playful banter was interrupted by a loud crash from the kitchen, followed by a muffled “Sorry!” Y/n sighed, recognizing the chaos as her brother-in-law Klaus’s doing.
“Maybe I should just let my hair go completely gray,” she muttered, “and scare the life out of Klaus.”
Five laughed, stepping closer to her. “Klaus would probably think it’s cool and start a new trend.”
Y/n rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but laugh, too. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Five wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. “Listen, I love you, gray hair and all. Actually, it’s kind of sexy. Makes you look distinguished.”
Y/n snorted, leaning into him. “You’re such a liar.”
“Nope, just a man with great taste,” Five replied, kissing the top of her head.
As they headed into the kitchen to see what chaos awaited them, Y/n tried to push the gray hair out of her mind. It was just one strand, after all. How bad could it be?
Klaus, Luther, and Diego were in the middle of a heated debate over who had the best waffle recipe when Five and Y/n entered the kitchen. Luther was holding a spatula like a weapon, and Klaus was dramatically waving a bottle of syrup around.
“Hey, guys,” Y/n said, trying to sound casual. “Do you think gray hair makes me look older?”
The room went silent as all eyes turned to her. Luther looked thoughtful, Diego just shrugged, and Klaus... well, Klaus being Klaus, decided to take it to the next level.
“Oh, honey,” Klaus said, rushing over to examine Y/n’s hair, “I think it makes you look even more fabulous. Very... royal. Like a queen!”
“Like the Queen of England,” Diego added with a smirk, earning a punch on the arm from Luther.
Five burst out laughing, shaking his head. “You see, Y/n? Nothing to worry about. You’ve got the whole royal approval right here.”
Y/n shook her head, trying not to laugh. “I’m going to regret asking, aren’t I?”
Later that evening, when the chaos had settled and they were alone again, Five and Y/n found themselves back in the bathroom. Y/n was brushing her teeth, and Five was leaning against the counter, watching her with a soft smile.
“You know,” he said, his voice thoughtful, “I used to think that life was all about big moments. Saving the world, traveling through time, stopping apocalypses.”
Y/n looked at him through the mirror, raising an eyebrow. “And now?”
“Now I know it’s about the little things,” Five continued. “Like finding a gray hair and freaking out about it. Or laughing about it with you.”
Y/n rinsed her mouth and turned to face him. “You’re surprisingly sentimental tonight.”
Five shrugged, pulling her into a gentle embrace. “Just thinking about how much I love you. And how that won’t change, no matter how many gray hairs you find.”
Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart swelling with affection. “I love you, too, Five. Even if you laugh at my gray hair.”
Five chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Deal. Now, how about we find that hair dye, just in case?”
Y/n laughed, swatting his arm. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Guilty as charged,” Five said with a grin. “But you wouldn’t have me any other way.”
Y/n smiled, leaning up to kiss him. “No, I wouldn’t. Now, let’s get to bed before Klaus decides to redecorate the kitchen again.”
With that, they headed to their bedroom, their laughter echoing through the house. It had been a day full of surprises and laughter, and as they curled up together, Y/n knew that no matter what the future held, she could face it all with Five by her side
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biggie-chcese · 15 hours
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ranking rain code lets plays on how much i enjoy/would recommend them
hi did you know i am incredibly autistic about this game and have watched, in full, several lets plays of it? and im still going? haha yeah im normal. anyway here goes... all lets plays ive watched from best to worst:
#1 Highest recommendation: JustOneGamr. ESPECIALLY for people who are going in blind. im so serious. it's the best way to experience as much of the game as possible without playing it yourself. They go through all of the content, side quests, gumshoe gabs, profiles, DLC, and even most of the flavor text. it's also a no commentary run, which i personally see as a massive boon because they aren't influencing your opinions of the game
#2: Pixel Partners. they've got real good vibes and they actually do the side quests. it's also fun to listen to their theories and see their reactions. they're one of the few who dont spend their time complaining and give more valid constructive criticisms than others. they also have the funniest reaction to the chapter 5 reveal
#3: JohnAwesome. his humor sometimes isn't particularly for me but boy is his lets play enjoyable. also has lots of positive vibes and is generally pretty entertaining. i dont remember if he does side quests but im pretty sure he does. he will easily make chapter 4 even more gut wrenching thanks to a very specific kind of incompetence on his part, which in hindsight is really funny
#4: NyanCave. they're pretty fun and also have great vibes! i like their chemistry a lot. they have some pretty good theories and good jokes, but they will spend a lot of time on responding to chat donations. this is fine like get that bag kings but if you're impatient like me it might get annoying after a while lol. it's especially bad in chapter 5, where the tension dies because of their waifu fight donations
#5: NicoB. I was never really a NicoB fan because he's a bit too loud and high energy for me, but his rain code lets play is still pretty good! he seems to have fun playing the game and even has a few good jokes. i think he does the side quests which is a plus but i could be misremembering. i still quote "and now back to yuma crackhead" to this day so there's that
#6: Faz Faz. This another no commentary run but for people who are in a rush. they go through the game as quickly as possible. frankly, i think these kinds of lets plays are not as good as the ones that go through the sidequests, but hey, it's there if you just want the main plot and gumshoe gabs
#7: Save Data. I don't recommend this one to people experiencing rain code for the first time because they will talk over the cutscenes and dialogue and that will get annoying. they also complain quite a bit about the same things over and over which can also get tiresome (im sorry guys i do Not care about graphics as much as you do). however, they're really funny and it's good for a second or third experience of the game. "this city..." is a highly prevalent vocal stim for me thanks to them. they will shit on on the game often though, so if you really love rain code and dont want to hear that, then avoid this one lol. but you do get to see my art at the end of their vids! that's pretty cool!
#8: Rat Attack. i straight up don't recommend this one. it's easily the worst one i've seen and that's sad because i really love their pngtuber avatars. they're not finished with the game yet and that's probably because they spend so much time ranting and yapping about everything else, or just concocting the most baffling theories known to man and spending wayyy too much time on them. you will also hear a lot of unfunny halara gender jokes sorry. sometimes they are funny in other ways but it's honestly not worth it unless you're like me and keep watching out of obsession for the game.
that's all the ones ive watched in full (so far)! here's a couple others i haven't seen in full but have seen small parts of:
Weeby Newz - she's got some fun reactions from what ive seen and is pretty funny too. i have only really watched her play chapters 4 and 5 though, so i cant give a full opinion. i dont care for yakou fathero as a concept though and she seems pretty heavy on that, but if you like that you may enjoy her let's play. i may go back and finish it soon!
CurtStreamy - genuinely very funny from what ive seen though in chapter 5 his whole crew has a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of makoto's character, which can be a little irritating. either way, most of it is great but his live chat sucks. i still need to watch the rest in full to form a full opinion
CrystAAHHL - ohhh she did Not like this game lmao. she is a based makoto enjoyer though. i only watched the highlight reel though i think watching her full streams would just make me tired. i personally dont like watching lets plays if the person playing isnt having any fun
JazzyGuns - unfinished but she is really funny and has good vibes. if you can cope with her probably never finishing the game then go for it
khee chu - im still in the process of watching this one in full but it's fun so far. i will say CHECK OUT KHEE'S MERCH AND SHINIGAMI X JUNKO ART!!! THE ART IS RLY CUTE!!!!
and that's everything! there's other lesser known ones out there but im just one guy i cant watch em all despite how determined i am to do so </3 above all else i want people to get the game but like, yknow, some folks dont got $60 to spend on a game lol. anyway have fun and happy watching!
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Day 5 of killjoys week - Hopeful lies
An easy plan, really
quickly in, quickly out
grab the child and be five feet high before they notice you're gone
So why do my hands tremble when I count the beads around my wrist
again and again and again
trying to send a prayer to a god I don't believe in
Why do I hug my brothers tighter than usual
seeing broken hope in their eyes
and I know the same is in mine
they smile but their lips drip poison and blood
and I
I smile back
because everything is gonna be fine
we are always fine
always
But why do I feel a clawed hand on my shoulder
grip I shake off
instead white walls outstretching their piercing embrace
air leaving my lungs and turning into fog in front of my face
So I strap the holster to my thigh
and grin to root fear in Saturn's heart
because killjoys never die
and we have destiny covering our backs
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rolandkaros · 2 months
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forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.
#wta tennis#atp tennis#i feel like the era of...shall we say 'federer-esque' players is waning#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand#as the sport moves more toward a necessity for fitness and athleticism players do not put as much emphasis on 'art'#which imo is fine! i think the 'art' of tennis is too protected in some ways. which i maybe will expand on later.#but i think it's too much for the tags of a (mostly) silly post#but yeah you can hear a lot of commentators touch on it#i know nadal even said something abt it recently(ish)#but i think as tennis is gradually less associated with this abstract 'image' (e.g. the obsession with federer's 'grace' and 'class')#players are coming in thinking 'this is a physical battle and i am going to win' and very much leaning into the *competition*#which not to say that they're ignoring/denying the mental aspects at all because i actually do think many players are very strategic/aware#and in truth i think many tennis players ARE actually very smart#but i also think it's less apparent because more and more players are able to just hit the shit out of the ball and call it a day#which leaves you with the occasional shot/point/game/set/match etc where it seems like they don't know what the fuck they're doing#but you think about most sports which evolve in phases#it's very normal for certain player profiles to become more or less popular as the landscape of the sport changes#or as new techniques/strategies are developed#or as new communities/populations become interested!#extreme example but think of like. high jump's fosbury flop. that was one guy!#one guy who changed the entire fucking sport! so it makes perfect sense that tennis is continuing to evolve#given how many unique players have come and gone#and how much the sport is changing externally as well as internally#anyways. this got out of hand but i love sports and i love tennis and i love my brainless players.#this whole post was inspired by rewatching sabalenka v boulter and aryna completely missed an overhead by like five feet. lol#love her <3
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hopeswriting · 3 months
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imagine you're luce, and you're born the heir to a mafia family. you're mafia-born, and so of course also mafia-raised, and then also a donna-to-be. you're raised to be able to take on the role, to be good and capable at it, are taught to make one of your core beliefs about how the many must come before the few, because the family must always come first. you're going to be the donna, of course you must always prioritize the family above all else, it's your foremost and most important duty.
if caring about the few too comes at the price of the many, comes at the price of the family, is it even worth it? if the happiness gained from it comes at the price of a greater suffering for others, is there even any meaning to it, even if it's your happiness we're talking about? you understand, don't you?
you're not sure if you do, but you care about your family, love it, want to do right by it once you become their donna, so you nod, listen and learn.
(you don't have to be taught the pain and loss and guilt and anger and bitterness is a fair price to pay for the pain you decide has to be inflicted and the sacrifices you decide must be made, including by yourself. it's the least you could do, even.)
imagine you're luce, and the gift of foresight runs through your blood.
you would not call it a gift. you did not ask for it either. and you'll never come to see it as something wanted by you.
you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course it's exactly the way you wanted it to go. you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course you didn't care to try hard enough to change it. you saw the future before the shape of it had yet to be breathed into existence, and who's to say it didn't come into existence only because you saw it happen? you saw the future, and it happened worse than it had to for it.
you can see the future, but you still can't make it anything else than what it was always going to be. you can even make the visions happen at your will, but you still have no say on what you see or how much you see. you still can only be the witness of it before anyone else can.
it does mean double and longer the happiness sometimes, means relief and gratefulness and hope beyond words, and it'd be cruel of you to voice out loud your feelings for others to hear the many more times it means something else.
you can see the future, and it doesn't make it any kinder on you than on anyone else, does not give you any more power or control over it than anyone else, but at least you can see the future. you're given the time to make peace with it, to brace yourself for it, to bargain with it, to plead and beg and fight against it however desperately and hopelessly, even if in the end it still happens exactly as you saw it would.
(you can see the future, and it still doesn't hurt you any less than anyone else when it happens, but you don't expect anymore for anyone to hold you any less responsible for it anyway. it would be nice for someone to do it one day, but you understand.)
you can see the future, and you decide it's a kindness to both yourself and others to keep it for yourself as much as possible whenever you can.
imagine you're luce, and your family has this set of rings they've looked after and protected for as long as your family has existed. they're one set of three of the most important artifacts in the world, ones that help in safeguarding its existence and balance. they're duty, the very first one and the most important one your family was created for.
the pacifier around your mother's neck is duty too, and the most important and powerful artifact among twenty-one in safeguarding the world and its balance. it's been passed down in your family too, from mother to daughter. it's duty, but less tied to your family and much more to the blood running through your veins. it's a curse, in fact, as it demands heavy sacrifices the rings don't, and one that can only be tied to the blood running through your veins.
(your mother looks at you as if expecting some kind of reaction from you, and you can only wonder at which point you weren't supposed to see it as a given. duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for a long time now. is it even duty if it doesn't require any sacrifices from you?)
imagine you're luce, and your mother dies for duty. she's the donna, and so she dies for your family. she's the sky arcobaleno, and so she dies for the world. she's your mother, but she dies anyway, doesn't fight it either, even knowing she will leave you behind, even knowing she won't ever get to see what you look like all grown-up.
everywhere you look, duty stares back at you, from your mother and the pacifier around her neck, her love for your family and the life she gives up for it, her love for you and how she dies anyway while you're still only a child. duty, from your family members and how they die for you and kill for you, how they do both at your command, how their lives are in the palms of your hands and how they weigh only as much as you allow them to at a time. duty, from the knowledge your foresight gives you and the shackles tied to the blood running through your veins.
your mother's only duty while she lives too. she loves you, but she'd have had to give birth to you anyway even if she didn't. she loves you, but she still gave birth to you even knowing the kind of life you'd have to live, the kind of hands you'd inevitably end up with, the burdens she'd have to lay on your shoulders, passing them down from her own. because she loves you, she finds the resolve to raise you to be able to face all of it head-on and come out on top, but she'd have had to raise you much the same way anyway even if she didn't.
(she doesn't die for you, doesn't fight to be able to keep living with you, and this, too, is your mother surrendering to duty one last time.)
(you're so sick of it, so angry at it, so hateful and resentful against it. you're so stifled by it to the point you've stopped being able to breathe for a long time now. or you would have been if they had taught you how to face duty in this way too.
it's for the better they didn't. a silver lining, sparing you pain that isn't necessary for you to go through. everyone you turn to only teaches you how to keep holding your breath longer, and you listen and learn, obedient and dutiful as you've ever been.
you're grateful for it too. really, you are.)
everywhere you look, there's no room for you to so much as question any of it, let alone anything more. duty is commendable, something you ought to look up to and strive towards, strive to achieve. duty is the right thing to do. of course it is.
(you exhale a breath of relief that shakes you down to your very core.
thank god, it's at least the right thing to do.
you're grateful for it beyond words. really, you are.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know the choice you'll make when climbing that mountain, when standing on top of it, when waiting for a bright light to shine down on you from above. you know the choice you'll make then, even when pregnant with your daughter.
it doesn't matter since how long you knew, be it years, months, days, hours or minutes before. all that matters is that before you can even contemplate the idea of making another choice and all its implications and possible consequences, before the thought can even come alive in your mind, you already know the choice you'll make.
(you can see the future, but just because you already saw it, it doesn't mean it's now set in stone.
you can see the future, but just because you're given the chance to fight to change it, it doesn't mean it still won't happen every bit like you saw it.
it doesn't mean it can't still happen even worse than how you first saw it happen because you fought to change it, no matter how already dreadful it originally was.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know they'll be others with you standing on top of that mountain. you're the only one who'll know it before it happens.
(because you can see the future.
and oh, you did not ask for it.)
they're strangers, people you don't owe anything to. adults who choose to show up at the first meeting, and to show up to every following mission after that. the chosen seven, whose ambitions and prides lead them to walk the path of the seven strongest too once laid down in front of them.
you don't force their hands in making any of those choices for them. you're not responsible for any of them.
you become coworkers then, accomplices, your hands stained in blood to various extent, but now dipping in the same pool of blood as you strive towards the same goal together. you have each other's backs, learn each other's strengths and weaknesses, learn each other's personalities, likes and dislikes. you keep having to spend more time together as the missions keep coming your way.
inevitably, you come to care about them. even more damning, they come to care about you in return. enough so they'll look after your daughter even after what'll happen on top of that mountain. enough so they'll look after your granddaughter too, warmly and fondly enough she'll call one of them uncle.
you're still the only one who knows they'll stand together with you on top of that mountain, not knowing what'll happen on it like you do.
and you do care about them, you swear you do. really, you do.
(you care about them the same way your mother cared about you, and how she still raised you to have steel in you and be made of sharp edges you know how to use. you care about them the same way you care about your family, and how you still send them to their deaths as needed so the rest of your family you care about just the same can keep on living longer and safely. this is the only way you've had the chance to learn how to care and love.
duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for as long as you can remember. it doesn't matter at which point sacrifices came to mean love to you too.
and most of all, you love your daughter more than anything else in the world.)
imagine you're luce, and this is who you are. this is who you've been raised to be, the only way you've been given room to grow up to be. this is the life you've lived and the kind of life that has shaped you as the person you are now. this is what you've been taught and told is the best version of yourself you could have grown up to be. this is who you ended up being by what you've been taught and told are all the right choices to make.
you're still the only one who knows what is about to happen on top of that mountain. it hasn't happened yet. the fate of the world hangs on what'll happen on top of that mountain, the same world you'll have to give birth to your daughter in. the same daughter you're currently pregnant with.
now imagine you're luce, look me in the eye and tell me you'd know how to even form the thought of the possibility of there being any other choice to make. look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't look at the only choice in front of you, and know deep in your bones it's the only right choice to make. that it is right of you to make it. because it simply has to be.
(imagine you're luce, and you're not doomed by the narrative. of course, you're not.
why would you need to be when the narrative has painstakingly shaped you all your life to become its perfect, faithful and dutiful sacrificial lamb?
and then, imagine you're luce, and you're even grateful for it, so, so very grateful it held up its end of the bargain too.
truly, you are.)
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#khr headcanons#khr luce#khr arcobaleno#arcobaleno curse#sky arcobaleno#this post is first and foremost for the luce stans girlies#so maybe like. the whole five of us tops 😌#everyone else is also welcome to interact with this post but yes i am a luce stan who's very pro she didn't ever do anything wrong ever#and i know that and i love her for it <3#but also this is not a 'this is why you should love luce too actually' post#or even a 'this is why you should forgive her for the choices she made actually' post#like i totally get how and why one can dislike/hate her. genuinely#but this is a 'you totally lose me if you then follow up by saying she still doesn't deserve understanding or compassion or sympathy or#even pity' post#i mean come on. she WAS standing on top of that mountain too. she bore the curse just the same as them. was as much a victim of it as the#rest of them. in fact the sky arco curse is arguably the WORST of them all so like. yeah#the sky arco but luce specifically to me is such a tragic character is what this post is about#definitely not enough for her to be considered as doomed by the narrative but like#the narrative was in need of (seven) someone to take one for the team and tho it did choose luce without asking for her opinion about it#/she/ then decided that the best course of action was for her to /let/ herself become perfect for the job and like???#i just love thinking about the implications of it and how she might have ended up with that kind of mentality#my girl has never been okay a day in her life and i also will never be normal about it <3#also i might also post this one on ao3 in the following days so it can reach like. maybe a whole two more luce stan girlies 😌
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puppyeared · 5 months
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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened#my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda#ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game#because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something#normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have#when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think#i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing#others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie#but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy#and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him#and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me#i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder#this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for#literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND#i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better#yapping#diary#loz#pokemon
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triglycercule · 9 days
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thinking about mtt literally physically dragging eachother down and being restrained to eachother because theyre genuinely that fucking ass for eachother but then it means i'd have to decide which of them to humiliate by putting a collar on them. and i can't choose. if they dont all equally suffer than whats the point man 🙁🙁🙁
#i think they'd all have interesting reactions to it 2#like a permanent collar that cant be taken off. to make even more gruesome what if it were like built into the BONE????#or it could just be something less extreme like bone carvings. killer would absolutely do that shit#anyways i think horror would be the most reactive to it. anger is the most intriguing emotion#and also dog horror real. anyways he'd hate to be demeaned and disrespected like that. he has an ego and honor man and this is cutting it#dust drags him around constantly. killer pets him and disregards his boundaries. like a fucking DOG#because horror hates kist enough that he'd never let them get vulnerable enough. not that it stops killer LMAO#dust thinks some of horrors hatred towards them is a projection of his own self hatred (and hed lowkey be right)#loser. dust i think would be unique because to me he'd be a bit fine with it#i mean i think itd be hidden under paps scarf so it wouldn't be a constant reminder of horror n killer#but he lets the two hold the leash at least a bit. give him an eensy bit of touch and let a few insults slide#but the second he decides that even the smallest thing is enough he gets ticked off and then yk. someone has to put bunny back in his place#because dust is chill enough to let normal things in his eyes pass. he's not very reactionary or the type to immediately bite back#(since dust would just avoid horror and killer if he did meet them. means he has some sort of tolerance for them. keeping his peace fr)#but the moment hes reminded that god these two do suck and i shouldn't be letting this happen all of the held back anger comes out#killer would seek out the force and stuff. horror would treat him like shit because it makes himself feel good and killer look like an idio#dust doesn't even glance at him though and it pisses killer off. both of their actions do actually#like WTF DUST you guys literally put this on me. treat me like the piece of shit i know you think i am#but also STOP HORROR!!!! dont pull me around and demean me im not a pet i dont want to be treated that way even tho i say it do#yeah hes caught in a standstill. AND SO AM I do you see my issue. cannot pick one specific#all the trio would have such interesting reactions i cant just choose one to solely suffer......... anyways mttpoly am i right#should i tag this. like majority of the interesting stuff is in tags. but also i didnt post today i have a duty#dust sans#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule rant#this just ended up being me thinking about mtt with collars. maaan what about handcuffs and chains and other restrictive things#having them have restraining relationship isnt enough i need them to PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN EACHOTHER
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kaustic · 3 months
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i think anyone who met me anytime between like april of 2022 until jan of 2023 should forget everything they know about me actually
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flovverworks · 10 months
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thought again how overwhelmingly lonely akira would become after everything while time does its healing. u go from having a twenty-something ppl around u at all times to being alone. no one to knock on ur door in the morning, no ppl going in & out, no chaos of sudden fights. even in the (more likely) case where akira forgets its like. this haunting feeling of having forgotten something u shouldnt have. guy who goes to every social gathering ever to have that chaotic energetic experience of having so many ppl around again
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shiverhohojiro · 3 days
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I think Three and Eight. My guys. They actually glued onto each other in the immediate week-ish following Octo Expansion in a very desperate 16 year old way that also blew up in their faces within the next week, and they then spent the next few months avoiding each other. And during that time (/during their reintroduction to each other) they beat their inner agents and after that everything kind of normalized and they got back together in a much healthier way.
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Bad news, got back from the vet and my beautiful baby son is going to have to be put down soon, probably tomorrow or the next day, so send him best of wishes for his next few days~ Luckily, he's actually not in a lot of pain (for now, hopefully he won't be) and is acting pretty normal, so I'm hoping he won't suffer at all and everything will be peaceful for him.
#pet death tw#death mention#let me know if I need any other tags#I would post something to help pay for his euthanasia expenses or etc. but I don't know of any secure methods#since I don't know much about stuff like that. I've heard that like on paypal and ebay and stuff people can still get your real name#and some information from their payment receipts or whatever sutff like that. thats part of why I've held off on selling clothes and sculpt#res for so long is trying to find a way to do it that's the most safe. aside from literall yhaving to start an llc and open a business bank#account and run everything on an entirely sepreate thing just so it has no association with my name and etc.#and obviouskly I don't feel like figuring out all of that stuff right now lol#I am busy just trying to make my beautiful meatloaf son comfortable and spend some time with him whilst I can#It's sad. but I'm glad the issues were caught before he was in terrible pain or anything. So suprisingly it was actually a pretty easy#decision. I would rather him go out while he's feeling okay and relatively content then wait until he's in severe#pain or extremely lethargic or etc. So it seems all very sudden but . It's better that way for him.#anyway#of COURSE this has to happen during a heat wave also.. hhrgghhh...#more fuel for my vendetta against summer lol.. Not that it's the season's fault but. something bad happening in the winter#vs. seomthing bad happening in the summer which just adds an extra layer of 'oh yeah on top of everything else#you're going to be sweating and nauseous and chronically uncomfortable!' is like.. >:T#Also for him. part of the issue is lung cancer which has spread and caused a bunch of fluid to build up in his stomach (which is what I#noticed. even though he's acting perfectly fine and normal his stomach was weird and bloated suddenly)#but if part of the problem is his lungs (which look absolutely crazy on xray) then him breathing in hot shitty thick air is definitely#not as comfortable as if he were able to be nice and cool and snuggled in some blankets. etc. etc.#ANYWAY ghhb... send him much luck and positivity!! Really hoping he can make it through the next day or so without#taking a turn for the worst. So hopeing for a peaceful quiet exit and not like tramatic sudden things. etc. etc.#cross your fingers pray to your gods whisper to the night sky so on and so forth. whatever you do that's meaningful to you.
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orcelito · 30 days
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Had my first ever papsmear and that was #Uncomfortable but it's important to my health so I did it anyways
Being a responsible adult is hard 😑
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
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The way he's not even meant to be in frame but is like, alright, let me gesticulate as much as humanely possible
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🐇 / ⋆ ۪
#i dont know there's just... smth within me that craves it. in a profound wat#way** -_-#like... i am just someone who is made to love and be loved. that is what i want in this world in this life#i dont have any dreams or aspirations. all i need and want is to love#and since i dont have that in my life i am so deeply unhappy#and like i dont give a fuck about the 'love yourself#be whole by yourself. live a full life on your own#dont be happy bc of other ppl' blah blah blah#i dont care. my world view is that we are all different. we are all made of various stuff and we all need different things#(in my opinion; as long as u dont hurt anyone.... depending on intent... like depending on who u hurt and why.. as long as u dont harm#random innocent ppl for no fkn reasonand without consent. it is all fine)#the truth about the world is that none of us got all the fkn answers and we have no fkn right to demand that everybody lives according to a#made up book of rules. that's like actual insanity to me.#maybe someone else's way of living is crazy TO YOU. but theyre doing what they can to get by and thats none of your business#maybe u dont get it. maybe u dont understand. but someone else's life isnt for u to understand. only to look away and move on#if u arent compatible. needing to beat everyone down into the little box u have created is like... unrealistic and unsustainable lol#and i think that what i need as a person is nothing but love. deep profound love. which is sad bc that isnt really...#easy having my personality disorder :// plus that is smth very very rare and only a lucky few can experience that#i think i could still be happy in a healthy relationship where mutual like exists. even if... i know now that feeling that love is possible#idc if someone else is like omg thats so unhealthy gurlll love ya self gurlll. thats not what i need#everyone lives differently and yeah for some ppl it is much much harder#to get by bc we arent 'normal' or 'sane' or whatever. but it isnt wrong or incorrect#i just think im so so unhappy bc this is the one thing i need#and now me and my heart are like a withering flower#all i can hope... is that one day it will bloom. maybe one day.#but yeah no matter the amounts of work i do on myself (which i am trying to do lmfao stfu) or therapy#as long as i lack the one thing my soul craves iwill be dim and dull and feel numb
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