#yea he’s short so what
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UHHHH…. MOON…... HE. MOON...
My oc Máni, finally in all of his glory!
basically took the nordic moon mythos and used that! with creative liberties of course hehe :
he's got a bunch of lore that's stored in my brain right now, but i'll share that another time haha-
i also really REALLY want to dump all my stupid oc memes so i'm slowly showing y'all them for context lmaoo-
he may or may not also have a sister, two kids [that aren't quite his and two dwarves that he lowkey made and like him so... stay tuned?? i have them done drawn so... saving up for the next few days hehee
#god of war#god of war oc#how oc#god of war máni#máni gow#yea he’s short so what#the moon is small okay#i’m sure it has a great personality#my art#staymauy
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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would u trust me to be able to carry heavy grocery bags
#absolute anomaly of a human being (positive) for a cashier today at the supermarket#packed all the bags. ok thats fine thats normal (though notably#he did pack them WELL)#but then proceeded to Put All The Bags In The Cart For Us.#if it was just my mom then fine#BUT I WAS THERE??? DID I NOT LOOK LIKE I COULD CARRY THE BAGS???#i swear to god im sure i was older than him too but i also might look younger with the mask#and u know that thing thats like everyones masc till they put their customer service#voice on. well. i do that as a customer too LMAO so maybe idk#but like. im not small. im short but i wouldnt say im like tiny#and i lifted them after and yeah theyre heavy but not incredibly so????#he was like hey is it ok if theyre heavy and we said yea and he just assumed we couldnt do it#or. more to the point. that /i/ couldnt do it#and like i guess yeah thanks good job dude (genuine)#but also what the fuck. am i a joke to you.#me#trying a middle part because the fringe was becoming untenable#didnt realise how visible the facial hair is. i hate shaving
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why is it SOOOOO difficult to write SOBS
#(i hope tht mario isnt massive for mobile users.. if he is Sorry)#I spent like what. 5 hours? writing and i dont have much to show for it; the fic thingy turned out rly short and very bad#but im lowkey proud of myself;; i've never written for 5 hours straight; i never have the patience#i am super scared to go back to read it tho; but i wanna like. at least try to finish it so i gotta#btw yeas it is steve and zombie. you know the rest wha ever#personal
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𝖆𝖒𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖙 𝖆𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖊 -`. 𝔟𝔤𝔦𝔦𝔦. 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔰𝔦𝔩𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫.
MOON HALF ELF. FIGHTER. ELDRITCH KNIGHT. WIZARD. NECROMANCER. NOBLE. ❦ 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱.
#oc: amavet aerasume#leg.ocs#*myedits#*ocedit#leg.edit#bg3 oc#baldurs gate 3 oc#ch: tav#tav oc#putting him in my pocket and cherishing him coveting him like a dragons treasure mound etc etc#r*haegar core he was always mournful and melancholic 🥀🥹 an air of tragedy surrounded him my poor BOY#his brother rules in his stead in ye olde canon while he’s absent <3#this has been sitting in my drafts for EONS but i am so in love with these *screams*#mourning lord bc of his tragic past OF WHICH I WILL GET INTO 🥀🤧✨#in short his air of melancholy the tragic loss of his dearest his betrothed and other things :’) !!#yana had nothing to do with anything she’s tootally not in his lore either :)#alsoo thinking what if the tragedy was a plot made by s*har?? maybe?#like it would be a PERFECT tie in to sh*adowhearts arc yk????#i did a thought thing in the wee hours of the night but yea!! it would be inch resting i think !!!!!#something something red string *screams*#i love symbolism !!!!!!!#leg? posting at a reasonable hour ?? it’s more likely than you think !!!!!! 🥀🥴✨💀 <3#do not ask him about what happened to his youngest brother he didnt perform a necromantic ritual not realizing his brother was still alive#and mistook thinking he was dead and panicked as it was recently after he lost his beloved so his brother was made reborn bc of it :')#DO NOOT ASK HIM ABOUT IT (i do not have a name for his brother yet but he was the 12th sibling so the youngest of the tall ones!!)
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future foundation bros
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I think about the idea that maybe, at some point mondo does actually cut his hair,, goofy thought would be that during the time he was in future foundation he got the teruki cut (mp100 reference in which in a fight teru gets his long hair cut by a sword) though it happens with his pomp or smth
then I think about him cutting his hair in general, I think the idea is just interesting to think about sometimes (especially with adding takas reactions in the mix) ((sorry the brainrot is real))
#this is not me saying that i prefer it to mondo keeping his hair long#in fact i ADORE mondo with long hair and him growing it out even more after hopes peak#hes so girlboy girly gal i love him and his pretty hair and i love drawing it#these are old doodles and seeing them again made me think about that concept#I like to think that mondo does cut his hair at some point to like. see what its like and then immediately after hes like#no yea i get why i didnt want it short it feels weird#obviously there can be some metaphor written in there but yk im rambling enough about this goodnight#danganronpa#mondo owada#kiyotaka ishimaru#ishimondo#PLEASE IGNORE THE LITTLE COMIC PART I WAS TRYING TO DRAW OUT AN IDEA AT THE TIME AND NOW I REALIZE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE UMM#anyways it was supposed to be taka nagging mondo over his hair n mondo is like ehh ill think abt it ok thats all#kry k(art)
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youtube
#i’m terrified to ever watch this movie. i think it would kill me. basically it’s about a marriage falling apart.#anyway—adam driver would do so good as bobby in company and i would die to see him in it#i’m seeing company tonight!!#it’s a special musical to me. it’s about marriage. how marriage is both exciting and boring and makes your life better and worse.#the months leading up to our wedding i was kind of a cynical mental wreck. there was so much i did not like about my husband-to-be.#sometimes i felt like the only reason i was going through with the marriage was because it was too late to get out of it.#i had spent my teen and college years wanting to have a boyfriend/husband then i got one and realized#oh wait this didn’t actually fix my problems huh#actually there are NEW problems now#and then somehow this past year has actually been like. the best year of my life lol#it’ll be a year next month!#yea there are still those Little Things. sometimes there are Bigger Things. but bruh this dude is so good for me#i have never been thriving as much as i have this year.#i’m so much healthier in so many ways than i have ever been all my life#and like it’s cringe to say that cuz i don’t want to say MARRIAGE is what fixed me but. i think it’s okay to say that#there must be some kind of GOOD to marriage otherwise there’d be no point in doing it#and i think i make his life better too. he tells me so at least lol.#and i’ll only be able to watch the show with one eye LOL but my husboi will be with me watching this musical#that i used to listen to when i was angsty about getting married#and now we are married#and life is great.#somebody need me too much#somebody know me too well#somebody pull me up short and put me through hell#and give me support#for being alive…#yeah there are times when it’s harder than being single but. the blessings are multiplied along with the hardship.#shywalker stuff#Youtube
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doodle dump from earlier-learning to draw glitchtrap for my truman show au…
#crappy doodles#truman show au#definitely not posting these early as a result of asks from today#ahaha ofc not#also in case you haven't noticed my paper pencil art is not that great#cuz my hands are a lil shaky and cannot draw a circle to save their life#also the 4th doodle is demon hunter sun from my witch au#this probably isn't gonna be glitchtrap's design for the thing#but it might be what he looks like in any animatics i decide to make#so uh yea#here's this#i'm gonna go see that old drabble and rewrite it when i have the time#cuz i have a short written thing#but my narrative writing skills are absolute garbage so#not sure how good it'll be#anyways
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Do you ever think how Sebek is 16. And how Malleus and Lilia have said that 16 is the age of a newborn (fae). But Sebek looks like hes (more than, honestly) 16 in human years. So it's not hard to asume that he inherited the human lifespan, which makes his disdain of humans and his dad more explainable, and mostly about hating his own weaknesses. So Silver AND Sebek have to suffer :) Lilia and Malleus will outlive them. Sebek's mom and even grandpa will outlive them. And what impact they had on the lives of the people they love most, amounts timewise to the same as a dog to a human if not less.
#death mention#sebek zigvolt#source is riddles suitor vignette where malleus calls riddle a newborn (in age)#and lilia has a voiceline that says like youve just crawled out of the craddle and you can walk??? to yuu so around 16 = newborn#and like in general lilia is 500+ i doubt a full fae would develop THAT fast for 16 years#sebek get along with silver u hav so much in common i BEG OF YOU#watch me give twst way more credit than it deserves on its themes#this sideblog is so i can cry abt sebek off main#text#this is technicallyyyy a headcanon but come on no way he has the fae lifespan#and yea he propably thinks of his dad as cursing him with weakness and a short life#and i have no idea what the deal with his sibs is we need more info twst come ON#and yea we keep seeing malleus perspective on this but silvers... sebeks... im putting them under a microscope#well silver has kinda given up honestly#the tags are just extra writing space wym#i stop
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SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything
#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either#anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable#and imaginable way possible like#and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam#family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life#he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good#christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif#we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for#the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would#have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only#he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life#he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our#church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty#much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl#stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the#long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an#he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING#and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY#WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time#WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE#and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me#but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this?#so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't#mari.txt#personal#tw negative#dl#btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never#had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.
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Correct height chart according to me
#idk and lowkey dgaf what was the average height back then im jus going off of vibes and the current averages#shatov is canonically a short king i think and hes shorter than his wife#kirillov is so extremely unappealing and weirdocore i refuse to believe hes not like really tall and lanky#stavorgin is the hottest bitch ever and hes described as above average so ermmm. yea. i think he needs to be really strong and tall#but not as tall as kirillov. kirillovs build is completely different and his body language is not as confident so his height works in a ver#different way#pyotr is just average imo he doesnt give me tall nor short vibes#demons#dostoevsky demons#nikolai stavrogin#pyotr verkhovensky#ivan shatov#alexei kirillov
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heyheyhey. do you guys wanna know a secret :}
#a reason i like yoimiya so much; especially compared to other fem characters; is because she has more obvious proof of a journey through-#-femininity. this is also a reason i like shikimori so much!#becaus etheres an entire episode where we learn about shikimori's journey through femininity#she is such a major reason i realized that i need to go on one myself#and yoimiya idk. like. i don't really care much for genshin lore BAHAHAHAH#and i haven't looked at her voice lines in a bit but#idk. she just. theres a lot more to her than there is in canon idc she's more than what she was made to be and i love her for that!!!!#but yea elaborating on honestly not usually liking fem characters as much as masc ones. even though i dont even like guys im a lesbian JDSF#but it's because they're all made just to be people. and i lvoe all hte characters i love#but i feel like so many fem characters could be so much more than they were given the chance to be if there was a hint of a journey in her#so many just feel too hollow; especially compared to the masc characters they interact with#shikimori by herself was just a fun character. a strong girl who enjoyed being soft#but getting the background of she did karate because her brother did; she left because her brother did; she followed every trend because-#-everyone else did; she kept her hair short because her brother did; she never did anythign her brother didn't explicitly do or tell her to#and then one day he told her to be more. and so she decided to be more.#idk i just think more fem and honestly masc characters should have hints of a journey through any sort of identity!!#whether it be gender or sexuality or general personality or presentation via fashion or anything!!!!!#show me them at a young malleable age and show me them growing out of that and becoming a beautiful person but beautiful in a way only THEY#-could be. and while we didn't get that for yoimiya#i can stillfeel it. maybe im just making stuff up but. like i said earlier; she feels like so much more than the canon made her to be#adn i really love that :)#i should sleep soon but i just got my spotify workin again and catabolic seed is playingg#i lov eyou all <3#thank you for reading my rant haha#:shroom is typing...#:shroomiya:#kisses kisses!! <3
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Went to urgent care but didn't get checked for pneumothorax which is what we were concerned about in the first place 💀 got told it's probably musculoskeletal since I had a seizure a few days ago and get spasms when I have them (but that doesn't explain like... Many other symptoms I have but okay). My partner says it felt like I wasn't being fully listened to and I agree. Pretty disappointed. I guess if it gets worse I'll go to urgent care again but in the meantime I am in pain, very fatigued, and struggling to breathe and speak 😬👍
#hopefully the doctor is right and either way ill probably be fine but#i still wish they would have gotten x rays and listened#like i mentioned it felt like i had needles in my chest and then hes like well u dont have stabbing pain so its probably this#idk i guess saying feels like needles doesn't automatically get assumed to mean stabbing pain#but i meant it as in it feels like im getting poked inside with a tiny bundle of needles when i breath#whatever#if i get worse i go back#if i heal i heal if i dont i go to urgent again just dont like having questions unanswered and waiting#at least i dont have covid woo#feel like the guy was just like congrats u dont have a heart attack. ur heart rate IS very high though.#and then like oh its ur lungs ur worried about? well idk. its probably ur ribs#like okay but my issue is i keep having breathing problems 💀whatever i give up#and yea i spasmed during last seizure but it was a really short one and not as much spasms bc my meds were working#and what lead to the seizure in the first place was i was hyperventilating and having trouble breathing... ugh
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...
#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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taking a court-mandated break from drawing sweaty army doctors today. will i hold to this? jury is still out. trapper or hawkeye is prolly next tho.
i must remember to make trapper toned and i must remember hawkeye has a high waist. these are vital
also if anyone has any ideas ur more than welcome to toss em in, esp for like. radar, charles, potter
#think im finalizing 'big shirt haphazardly tucked into shorts' for hawkeye#trapper still gets muscle shirt sans pits. like the flamingos for sidney it hit me like a bolt of lightning#also i fucking forgot that henry had the thing. the sweater. with the I. because im a fake fan#i will now be incorporating that#prolly as the outer layer. like making it a jacket#im 100% serious abt giving him the swim trunks that hes wearing as shorts#i am from the midwest and sometimes dads will decide they dont swim enough and that the trunks dont get enough action#that plus the whole 'well im goin fishin. so im wearin my swim shorts incase i needa go after one'#anyway. yea. im still conceptualizing what radar will be wearing#.yappin
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it's funny that now that i don't really have much about my body to be dysphoric about my brain makes up psychological dysphoria and it's so dumb
#''oohh only people who are attracted to men but are slightly scared of what they deem real men (not you) will be attracted to you''#''or those people AND chasers AND ppl who just see you as a curiosity to test out''#like how do i even unpack the bs my brain is throwing at me#yeah maybe some part of me believes that but the logical part of me knows it's not true#i think what's causing this is that i'm still kinda new at being stealth while passing#like yeah ive been going as leevi for the entire duration of uni and living as a man but passing regularly started happening to me after#i started t#now i only get misgendered the same amount as cis men with shoulder length hair#so like. it's happened once after starting t lmao#i think what's causing this (the psychological warfare from my brain) is the combination of stress#and me actually becoming friends with a co worker i'm not out to#listen ive been trying to hint at being trans but he was born a guy and lives as a guy so hes not very tuned out on this stuff#though his partner is nb and ive met them and they think i'm cis too which i think is hilarious bc i feel like#i'm v easy to clock for trans ppl#though idk im fagging it up quite a bit so it makes me pass extra well so#anyways#im a bit conflicted about the situation#im not going to outright tell him i think but i'm not going to hide it if it comes up#which i know i dont have to do but i want to#we'll probably go swimming together this summer so if that doesnt make him realize it hes a lost case and i dont#need to worry about it lmaoo#also i bought shorts that arent sport shorts and they looked normal on me so im literally unstoppable#but yea thank u for listening to me i just needed to ramble#leevi talks
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