#ye guys I love Jane sorry

[ran-orimoto]

Little mermaid AU is cool but what do you think of a Beauty and the beast AU... wink wink wink

Judging from other requests and asks, I assume you think I’d turn Junpei into a beast while Izumi is Belle. Instead, I’ll disappoint you, because in every Disney AU you’ll ask me for, -except Snow White since Izumi has got her own Snow White references-, Junpei will be in the princess role because it’s just funny af.

No, but jokes aside, it’s just that Junpei has got lot of traits fitting both Ariel and BELLE. Hello, Junpei is the dude always fantasyzing about being a knight to his princess; or has got his fantasies about marriage🤣. In the manga he also says he was bored and had nothing to lose and so he jumps on the Trailmon searching for adventures (shallow big bby). I can also see him as a perfect victim for Stockholm syndrom. I’m sorry, he’s my Belle and let’s also add that he would sport the most hideous yellow suit for the ball———

But anyway, add fangs under her mask, sharp tongue, claws, some tail and put her in a gothic dress, here you have my beauty and the beast, Anon. Endless tale= Tale as old as time. I will draw this shit someday. And write about it.

[zincbot]

romance where they have history is always so much better than a meet-cute

[gyuuberryy]

love potions (but make it legal)!

pairing: tutor!jungwon x reader

summary: you had not been too excited about these tutoring sessions your potions professor had dropped on you. but, after meeting your tutor you couldn’t hope but think you both were brewing more than just potions, perhaps even love?

genre: hogwarts au, jungwon is a loser for the reader, initially slightly one sided pining, fluff, angst

warnings: some hogwarts lore references, mentions of failing a class, jealousy, angst, magic stuff, kissing, suggestive(ish)

note: they don’t actually make love potions in this but i liked the sound of it so i used it in the title hehe. i hope you guys enjoy this fic as you had given so much love to the heeseung one.

word count: 4.3kish

if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

to the anon who requested a jungwon hogwarts au im sososoo sorry for publishing this like six months later. i had a terrible writer’s block with this one. i’m terribly sorry, this constantly ran through my mind but i couldn’t bring myself to begin. i hope you like this!

you were so screwed.

you felt like a deflated balloon looking at your mock NEWT results. you were literally failing your potions class. with all the time spent in balancing out your classes, quidditch and sessions at the room of requirement as a part of dumbledore’s army, you had not practised well enough for your classes that were practical based. 

seeing your grades drop from exemplary results to having mediocre grades and failing a class was depressing. so, your potions teacher had made you stay back to have a word with you which is why you stood off to the side. your head hung low in disappointment with yourself. if this continued, it would be hard to apply for an auror’s job, which was your dream. 

you were broken out of your thoughts by the sound of your professor clearing his throat. your head shot up and you looked around to see the room was now empty save for you both. he gestured to the seat next to his table, so you shuffled over.

he looked over the rim of his glasses as he scanned over your report card. you hated the pitiful look that crossed over his face, you were not used to this.

“you are one of my best students, i really wasn’t expecting this from you..”

you grimaced at his words, feeling worse about your situation. great, you were not the only one disappointed by yourself.

your professor must have noticed because his tone immediately became gentle as he gave you a comforting smile. 

“see, the only reason i asked you to stay back was because i know you can do better”, he shuffled through a register seemingly looking for something. “i’m sure you have your reasons as to why your performance went down. i know you can improve again.”

you nodded at his words, already starting to feel better, “yes professor i-”

“which is why i think you should get tutored”, he cut you off.

you froze. tutoring? this was so embarrassing, usually you were the one to provide tutoring to others, and now you have to be the one to receive it? no thank you.

you let out a small chuckle, “i understand professor, but i think i can handle it by myself.”

his brows creased at your words, “i don’t think you have enough time for that, the exams are nearing and you have managed to mess up even the basic things in the exam.”

you sighed at his words, silently accepting your fate because he wasn’t wrong. maybe you should swallow your ego and just get tutored, it was for your own good anyway.

taking a deep breath you put on a fake smile and gritted out, “okay.”

the rush of your mary jane clad feet filled the hallways of hogwarts with clopping sounds. your feet skidded to a stop in front of the library doors and you placed your hand over your chest, trying to catch your breath from the ten minute long run. you were late for your first tutoring session because your evening nap went a little longer than expected. 

brushing out stray hair strands from your face you opened the doors and stepped in, looking around for your tutor. the only person other than you was a boy with raven hair, sitting on a bench completely surrounded by bookshelves. 

you approached him, assuming he was your tutor. 

“uh hey!”, you called out in an unsure manner. “are you my assigned tutor for po-”

“yes”, he cut you off curtly, not even bothering to spare you a glance. “take a seat.”

you frowned in confusion at his cold behaviour and pulled out a chair to sit next to him. he seemed to be shuffling through some papers and organising them. a few seconds went by with him failing to acknowledge your presence. you cleared your throat awkwardly and introduced yourself, trying to get his attention. 

his head immediately shot up as soon as he heard your name, his eyes widening in what you could tell was surprise. confused at his reaction, you just gave him a small smile. he was silent for a while, giving you enough time to take in his features.

bangs fell over the smooth skin of his forehead and he looked at you through glasses which fit perfectly on his face, adding on to his handsome features. you had seen him around a few times as you shared a few classes with him. he was one of the smartest students, loved by all his teachers.

“uh i’m jungwon”, his voice broke through the awkward silence.

you nodded, “hey. i’ve seen you around.”

his lips pulled up into a smile at that as he let out a small laugh nervously. you raised your eyebrows at his sudden shift in demeanour. just a moment ago he didn’t care about your presence and now he was smiling? whatever.

“professor told me you had been facing some problems with potions”, he looked down and tapped his quill on the table. “what can i help you with?”

you explained how you messed up the practical test for your mocks. he listened intently, never breaking eye contact with you which made you a bit nervous. 

you came to an end of your rant but jungwon still maintained eye contact with you, his chin resting on his hand now. 

you cleared your throat, “so..?”

he still seemed to be staring at you, his eyes out of focus as he dreamily smiled at you.

frowning at his odd behaviour, you waved your hand in front of his face which broke him out of his thoughts. his eyes widened momentarily as he shook his head, a small blush spreading across his cheeks.

“are you sick?”

he chuckled nervously, “no no i was just planning out how i could help you”

he picked up a quill and started writing a plan for you in neat handwriting. once he was done, he passed the sheet over to you.

“we’ll follow this for the next two weeks. meet me in the potions class at four tomorrow.”

you gave a once over at what he had written and smiled at him. “will do, thanks jungwon!”

he nodded and started packing up his things. when he was done he looked at you expectantly, “it’s time for dinner, let’s go to the great hall together.”

you smiled and gathered your things as well.

it was the first day of your tutoring and you were early today.

or you thought so.

glancing around the potions classroom, you spotted jungwon already there. he was perched on a stool, arranging vials and flasks on the tables. unlike his usual composed demeanour in class, he seemed flustered, his bangs falling over his forehead as he fumbled with a particularly stubborn stopper.

he looked up as he heard you shuffle in, a relieved smile splitting his face.

"ah, there you are! i was starting to think you'd gotten lost."

"lost?" you repeated, a laugh escaping your lips. "in the potions classroom? hardly."

he chuckled, a nervous undertone to it. "right, of course. so, are you ready to tackle some invisibility potion today?"

you straightened your robes, a determined glint in your eyes. "ready as i'll ever be. though," you added, an unsure lilt in your voice, "considering my track record, maybe 'invisible' isn't the best thing to start off with."

jungwon's hummed, his cheeks flushing. "well, that's why we're practising, isn't it? to avoid another...disappearing act?"

you snorted. "exactly. though, to be fair, the professor did say my failed polyjuice potion was rather impressive in its...uniqueness."

he winced. "right. let's just focus on not achieving sentience with our cauldron this time, alright?"

the rest of the afternoon was a whirlwind of chopping netslime and muttering incantations. jungwon was a patient tutor, though his explanations sometimes devolved into nervous rambling when your eyes met. 

by the end of the session, your potion shimmered a faint, almost-invisible blue. not perfect, but a far cry from your previous disasters. jungwon beamed, his earlier awkwardness replaced by genuine pride.

"see? you're a natural! with a little more practice, you'll be brewing like snape in no time."

you laughed. "snape? now that's a terrifying image."

he chuckled, then cleared his throat, his gaze flickering away. "well, i should probably get going. i have herbology first thing tomorrow."

you nodded, gathering your things. "alright, see you then. and jungwon?"

he stopped at the door, his eyes questioning.

"thanks a lot for doing this. i already feel more confident.”

he smiled at that, making you do the same unconsciously.

the next two weeks flew by in a flurry of potion-making and stolen glances in your sessions, and outside of it whenever you both crossed paths. you had made a new friend and you were grateful for his help. you found yourself approaching the cauldron with newfound determination. your brews were improving steadily, and the playful banter during your sessions only added to the enjoyment.

one particularly chilly evening, you hurried down to the room of requirement, the usual meeting place for your secret DA practice sessions. you entered to find the familiar sight of your fellow students practising disarming spells and dodging jinxes. but amidst the chaos, you spotted an unexpected face – jungwon.

he was facing away from you, expertly deflecting a curse with a flick of his wand. you blinked, momentarily speechless. you never knew jungwon was a part of this! a warmth bloomed in your chest, a mixture of surprise and a strange sense of pride.

"nice one, jungwon!" , you called out, a wide grin on your face. jungwon turned, his eyes meeting yours. a flicker of surprise crossed his features before he broke into a wide grin.

"hey there," he said casually, striding over to you. "didn't expect to see you here."

"me neither," you admitted, a smile playing on your lips. "i guess you're not just a potions prodigy, huh?"

he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "turns out i have a few other hidden talents."

the rest of the evening flew by in a whirlwind of practice. seeing jungwon in this new light – confident, skilled, and fighting for a cause you both believed in – made your heart flutter. he was everything you admired and more.

admire? since when did that happen?

shaking your head to rid yourself of such thoughts, you got back to practising your charm. although, over the duration of the practise, your mind couldn’t help but wander towards jungwon’s recent behaviour. he had been sweet to you since the beginning, always ready to help out. and the way he blushed around you and quipped with you, you couldn’t help but think that maybe he also felt something? 

as the group started dispersing, you lingered near the room's entrance, feigning the need to adjust your cloak.

"hey," jungwon's voice startled you. he was packing his bag, a casual smile playing on his lips. "didn't head out yet?"

"actually," you began, fiddling with the strap of your bag, "there was something i wanted to ask you about."

his smile widened in invitation. "shoot."

you took a deep breath. "it's about dumbledore's army. we've been working on patronus charms lately, and well, i'm struggling a bit." shame tinged your cheeks. you weren't used to needing help with spells.

jungwon's expression softened with understanding. "a patronus charm, huh? tricky business, that. but hey, i might be able to offer some pointers."

relief washed over you. "really? that would be amazing!"

he gestured towards a secluded corner of the room. "come on, then. let's see what you're working with."

you settled onto the dusty floor, explaining your struggles. you could conjure a faint wisp of silvery light, but it was far from the actual form you needed. jungwon listened intently, occasionally asking clarifying questions.

"okay," he said once you finished, "it seems you've got the basic idea down. the key is focusing on a strong, happy memory. something that evokes a feeling of pure joy and warmth."

he saw your hesitant expression and chuckled. "don't worry, it's not a competition to see who has the most embarrassing childhood memory."

you forced a smile. "no, of course not." but your mind struggled to find that perfect memory.

jungwon seemed to sense your frustration. "close your eyes," he instructed gently. 

"take a deep breath and try to visualise a place that makes you feel truly happy. maybe a familiar place from your childhood, a special time with a friend, anything that brings a smile to your face."

you closed your eyes, following his guidance. images flickered through your mind – family picnics, winning a quidditch match, late-night talks with your best friend. but none of them seemed to spark the necessary warmth.

just as you were about to give up, a memory surfaced. a smile bloomed on your face. you opened your eyes and met jungwon's gaze. "i think i have it," you whispered.

he nodded encouragingly. "focus on that feeling. the warmth, the happiness, let it flow through you and into your wand."

you closed your eyes again, picturing the memory that brought you happiness. it was a little hazy as you tried to focus on the touch and sounds from that memory. with a deep breath, you pointed your wand forward and muttered the incantation.

a wisp of silvery light erupted from your wand, growing and solidifying into a shape. it wasn't perfect – the outline of a cat was more suggestion than a form – but it was a patronus. you had finally done it.

a cheer escaped your lips as you realised you had finally done it. you looked at jungwon, your heart brimming with gratitude. "i did it!"

he beamed, genuine pride radiating from him. "see? you're a natural. you just needed a little nudge in the right direction."

his words held a hint of something more, something that sent a shiver down your spine. you wanted to thank him properly, to express just how much his help meant to you. 

"thank you, jungwon," you murmured, your voice barely a whisper. you wished, however, that your patronus could solidify into something more impressive, something that truly reflected the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.

as if sensing your unspoken desire, jungwon stepped closer. his movements were subtle, almost hesitant. but before you could question it, he reached behind you, his hand gently wrapping around yours, enclosing both your hands and your wand within his hold.

a jolt of electricity shot through you at his touch. the air in the room crackled with a tension you hadn't noticed before. your focus on the patronus wavered momentarily, replaced by a hyper awareness of jungwon's warm torso pressed against your back, his fingers brushing against yours.

his warm breath fanned over your ear as he whispered even though there was no one around to hear you both, “now completely focus on that memory.”

the room seemed to shrink, the air growing thick with unspoken tension. you focused on the memory, it acting as a soothing anchor in the storm brewing inside you. but this time, something was different. the wispy light from your wand pulsed, growing brighter, solidifying. the faint outline of a cat sharpened, taking on a more defined form.

in the heightened focus, you were oblivious to everything except the memory and the warmth radiating from jungwon's hand on yours. the familiar nostalgia from the memory echoed in your mind, a beacon of happiness. with a burst of energy, a fully formed silver cat patronus materialised, leaping and frolicking around the room.

you gasped in awe, forgetting everything else. "it's perfect! it's actually a perfect patronus!" 

you jumped, unknowingly pushing yourself more into jungwon, making him wrap his hands loosely around you as he chuckled lowly. you spun around to share your joy with him.

but as you turned, your breath hitched. you were impossibly close to him, his hand still wrapped around yours, his face mere inches away. his eyes were dark and intense, a mirror of the emotions swirling within you. the air crackled with unspoken desire.

you leaned in, heart pounding a frantic rhythm against your ribs. he tilted his head ever so slightly, his lips hovering a whisper away from yours. his breath hitched ever so slightly, as you both leaned in, the space between your lips closing with each passing second.

just as your lips were about to meet, jungwon pulled back abruptly. 

he cleared his throat, his hand falling away from yours. "that's... that's amazing," he stammered, his eyes flickering away from yours. "a perfect patronus. you really are something else."

his words held a strange distance, and a knot of unease tightened in your stomach. the electric tension that had thrummed in the air moments ago had dissipated, replaced by an awkward silence. you weren't sure what had happened, but embarrassment washed over you in suffocating waves. the joy of your achievement felt strangely hollow now.

your patronus immediately vanished into thin air, leaving a trail of sparkles behind.

the tension in the room receded as quickly as it had risen, leaving a bewildered silence in its wake. you blinked, confused and slightly disappointed. why did he stop?

"i, uh," he stammered, looking at his shoes, "i think it's getting late. maybe we should call it a night?"

did he regret the near kiss? or was there something else at play? 

you opened your mouth to ask, but the words wouldn't come. the magic of the patronus lingered, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

"yeah," you finally managed, your voice barely a whisper. "it's getting late."

jungwon offered a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes before gathering his things and hurrying towards the exit. you watched him go, a myriad of emotions swirling within you.

disappointment gnawed at you like a dementor during your potions class the next day. your potions professor, inspecting your bubbling concoction with a delighted smile, declared it "exactly by the book."

he beamed, announcing, "it appears the extra sessions have paid off! perhaps we can consider them concluded, wouldn't you agree?"

a lump formed in your throat. you glanced at jungwon, expecting a playful jab or a celebratory nod. but he simply shrugged, a noncommittal, ‘sounds good to me,’ escaping his lips.

the professor's words should have filled you with relief. you were back on track, independent once more. yet, as the class ended, all you felt was a hollow emptiness. you caught jungwon's eye for a fleeting moment, hoping for a familiar spark or a shared grin. instead, he averted his gaze, muttering a hurried goodbye and hurried out of the classroom.

this became a pattern over the next few days. in the hallways, where you once exchanged playful jibes, jungwon now seemed to melt into the background whenever you approached. shared classes were endured in a tense silence, his friendly demeanour replaced by a distant politeness. 

you replayed the scene in the room of requirement over and over in your head, desperately trying to pinpoint where you'd gone wrong. 

had you misread the tension? had you moved too fast, startled him with your sudden boldness?

one evening, you found yourself lingering outside the room of requirement, the usual meeting place for dumbledore's army. you weren't sure why you were there, perhaps a desperate hope that jungwon would appear. the door creaked open, and your best friend peeked out.

"lost something?" she asked, her brow quirked in concern.

you shook your head, the words refusing to form.

"everything alright?" she pressed gently, her perceptive eyes searching yours.

you sighed, finally blurting out, "it's jungwon. did i…did i do something wrong?"

her knowing smile softened the blow. "ah," she said, pulling you into a hug. "sometimes, the most powerful potions are brewed in silence, simmering with unspoken emotions."

her words offered little comfort, but they planted a seed in your mind. maybe rushing something as delicate as what you felt for jungwon wasn't the way. maybe patience, like the perfect potion, required time and the right balance of ingredients. you resolved to let things cool, to focus on mastering your spells and potions, hoping that maybe, one day, the right opportunity would present itself, and the spark you shared with jungwon wouldn't need words to reignite.

screw whatever you thought before. you couldn't wait for that ‘one day’ to come as you watched your classmate, a girl with hair like spun sunshine, practically cling to jungwon's arm in herbology. they were bent over, giggling like pixies at a particularly stubborn gillyweed.

fury replaced the embers of hope your friend had ignited. who was this girl? had he moved on that quickly? 

jealousy bubbled in your stomach as you stalked away from the window, hurt settling in your chest. but you were determined to make things right, even if it meant making your friendship(?) with him awkward, you needed to know what went wrong. 

the bell signalling the end of class was your cue. you bolted out, weaving through students, your eyes locked on jungwon. he noticed you coming, a flicker of surprise crossing his face, but before he could react, you were upon him.

he was walking with the sunshine-haired girl, lost in their own conversation, until a breathless, "jungwon!" ripped him from it. he turned, eyes widening further when he saw your determined, (slightly crazed) expression.

"uh, hi?" he stammered, glancing between you and the girl who stood blinking at you both, confused.

"excuse me," you said politely through gritted teeth to the girl, who, thankfully, scurried off with a mumbled ‘see you later, jungwon.’

now, alone with the reason of your anger and surging jealousy, you grabbed his arm and steered him away from the castle grounds. you marched him past the greenhouses until you reached a secluded clearing near the black lake. there, with a flourish that would have earned you points in charms class, you pinned him against a sturdy oak tree.

he stared at you, bewildered, as your chest heaved. "okay," he started cautiously, "what's going on?"

"what's going on?" you sputtered, finally finding your voice. "what's going on is, i thought we had...something!" you gestured wildly towards the castle, where you could still see a flicker of sunshine hair disappear around a corner.

jungwon blinked, then a slow blush crept up his neck. "we...we do! we had potions tutoring sessions, remember?"

you threw your hands up in exasperation. "ugh, not tutoring! this…this unspoken thing we have!"

his blush deepened, and he mumbled something inaudible under his breath.

"what?" you demanded.

he took a deep breath. "look, about that night in the room of requirement..."

"yes?" you leaned in, heart pounding.

he cleared his throat. "maybe i… i overreacted. i wasn't sure what you were feeling, and…"

he trailed off, his gaze dropping to the ground. you gaped at him, realising the truth. you hadn't scared him off, he'd scared himself off! 

but there was more. a flicker of insecurity crossed his eyes. "and to be honest," he admitted sheepishly, "the real reason i've been avoiding you… well, it's because i was trying to figure out how to tell you something...something big."

you blinked. here you were, fuming about a nonexistent threat, while jungwon had been battling his own insecurities. the situation was hilarious, almost. but mostly, it was endearing.

a slow smile spread across your face. "well, spill it, jungwon. don't leave me in suspense."

he fumbled with his words, cheeks burning a fiery red. "it's about...well, ever since the beginning of this year, i’ve looked at you…in a different light."

your heart thrummed erratically now, hoping he was getting to where you wanted him to.

"...and, well, you're not just funny and smart, you're kind and brave, and the way you laugh at my stupid jokes, it just makes me..." his voice trailed off, his eyes pleading with yours. 

his rambling was adorable, but the knot of frustration in your stomach tightened with every nervous stammer. you couldn't take it anymore.

grabbing him by the collar, you silenced him with a kiss. it started desperate, fueled by the need to know his true feelings, but as his lips met yours, it melted into something sweeter. you poured your unspoken emotions into that kiss, the frustration, the longing, the dawning hope. 

suddenly, jungwon spun you around, switching your positions so that you were pushed against the tree now. your breath hitched in surprise at his sudden show of confidence. he dove back into the kiss, his soft lips moving against yours in fervour. the intensity of your kiss increased along with your pulse and you were pretty sure jungwon could feel it with the way he was pressed up against you

when he finally pulled back, breathless and dizzy, a different kind of silence hung in the air.

jungwon stared at you as your cheeks flushed a brilliant crimson, mirroring the sunset bleeding across the lake. finally, a smile bloomed on his face, genuine and relieved. 

"see," he breathed, voice husky, "that was much easier than all that."

you laughed, a genuine sound that echoed through the clearing. relief washed over you, warm and tingly. "i should be the one saying that" you teased.

“yeah well i chickened out”, he scratched his head in embarrassment, “i wanted my confession to be perfect.”

you smirked, “yeah well what you pulled right now was very romantic. i didn’t know you had that in you.”

he rolled his eyes playfully and grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “you liked it though. let’s head back now, it’s almost time for dinner.”

you smiled as you walked in step with him, swinging your intertwined hands back and forth. he squeezed your hand with a cheeky grin on his face.  you returned the squeeze looking up at him in question, when his next words had a blush blooming on your face.

“i hope you’re going to pay me back for those lessons with more of such kisses.”

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr

˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱

[readsaboutreid]

Could I please request a sunshine! Reader who's a friend of Penelopes, and she goes to drop off some baking for Pen when she asks Spencer for directions to her office, he's a stuttering mess and the reader offers him a cookie as thanks for his directions. And she tells Pen about the cute guy and so she ropes Morgan into setting them up?

YES YOU CAN this sounds adorable and i love it pure fluff and baked goods coming right up! i hope you like it this is my first request and i'm kinda nervous

pairing: Spencer x sunshine!reader

contains: pure fluff, adorable flustered Spencer, another blink and you'll miss it Buffy reference

Lavender Roses | S.R.

Spencer sat at his desk, the stack of folders on it feeling as though each time he completed one another one is added. He takes a deep breath and leans back, taking his glasses off his face to massage the bridge of his nose. Most of the time he was glad to have a slow casework day but for some reason today was crawling by.

He placed his glasses back on his face and turned to resume to his work before he heard a soft voice. "Excuse me?" He swiveled in his chair and found that in front of him stood possibly prettiest person he's ever seen before carrying a couple of small plastic tubs. She was smiling slightly at him, her eyes sparkling even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the bullpen. She wore a long-sleeved black dress with a white collar and a flared skirt and a pair of black Mary Janes. "Hello?" She asked again.

His eyes widened slightly and he remembered that she had been about to ask him something so he cleared his throat. "Oh, hi! Uh, m-may I have you? Uh, help. M-may I help you?" Spencer shook his head and nearly slapped his palm to his forehead but managed to refrain from doing so. His cheeks burned as he met her gaze again and was met with a smile so sweet that it would have made his knees buckle had he been standing.

"Yes, actually!" She responded, her smile growing wider. "I'm looking for Penelope Garcia's office? I need to drop these off for her." She held up the boxes, which upon further inspection held an assortment of cupcakes, brownies, and cookies in the very top one.

"Oh, oh yeah ! It's just, uh—it's r-right over—just turn around and—," he stammered, his cheeks burning more and more with each failed attempt to organize his racing thoughts so that they'd come out of his mouth fluently instead of in the word jumbles he was currently producing.

"Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but you said you're looking for Penelope Garcia?" Derek Morgan swooped in, rescuing Spencer from further embarrassment. "Her office is right this way, I can take you to her." He flashed her one of his smooth smiles and placed a hand on her arm as he began to turn her in the right direction.

"Oh, thank you!" She said gratefully. Before Derek could lead her away she turned back to Spencer and opened the top container, lowering it in front of him. "Here, have a cookie as a thanks for helping me!"

"B-but I didn't even—," he began before being shushed by her in a joking manner, her index finger landing a mere centimeter in front of his lips.

"Uh-uh! I will hear none of that nonsense," she laughed, making his heart skip a beat or two. "You were kind to me so take a cookie."

"O-okay, if, uh, if you insist," he gave a nervous laugh of his own as he reached his hand in and grabbed the first cookie his fingers met. He quickly withdrew his hand and met her eyes once more. "Th-thank you!"

"You're welcome, handsome!" She chirped before letting Derek lead her to Garcia's office, leaving Spencer silently kicking himself for fumbling that interaction so thoroughly. He took a bite of the cookie and was met with the most amazing tasting treat he'd ever had as he went back to working on the pile of folders on his desk.

"Thank you for showing me to Penelope!" (Y/N) thanked the kind man, who had introduced himself as Derek Morgan. She had heard endless stories about him from Penelope so it was nice to put a face to the name. "What, no cookie for me?" He joked, right as Penelope opened the door.

"She better not give you one! These are for my party tonight!" She said immediately.

"Oh, it's fine, Pen, I made like 30 of these things, not to mention the brownies and cupcakes. Plus, I already gave one to your other coworker so it's only fair, I suppose," she opened the top container, allowing the man to pick a cookie.

"Thanks gorgeous," he winked and walked off, taking a bite of the cookie. "Mmm these are delicious!"

They walked into Penelope's office and she closed the door behind them as (Y/N) set the containers down on one of the few surfaces not littered with papers and/or computer equipment. Once her hands were free she hugged her friend and they began catching up. Eventually, (Y/N) couldn't help but ask about the young brunet agent with whom she had shared her first encounter.

"So Pen, who was that tall, handsome agent I met earlier?" She asked, feeling her cheeks burn as she blushed lightly.

"Oh, sweet cheeks, stay away from him! He's mine," Penelope joked back, nudging her friend lightly with her elbow.

"Oh no, not him. He was nice but before he led me to your office, I had asked another agent where to find you. He was younger, wearing glasses, closer to my age, and he had what looked like the softest brown hair and he got all cute and flustered," she gushed to her friend, not taking a single breath until she had finished and took in a large gulp of air.

"Wait wait wait, are you talking about Reid?" Penelope laughed, her hands flying up to her mouth. "Skinny guy, about 6'1", dresses like he shops with my grandpa?"

"Hey, I like the way he was dressed!" (Y/N) responded with a playfully indignant tone. "He looked very cute if you ask me. Truth be told that's why I offered him a cookie!"

As her friend was leaving, a plan started forming in Penelope Garcia's mind. Once (Y/N) was through the glass doors and in the elevator, she rushed over to Derek Morgan, sitting at his desk and working on a case file.

"Derek! Derek, I need to talk to you," she panted, slightly out of breath from her hurrying. "Come to my office with me." The two went to her office where she shut the door and hurriedly asked, "tell me about what you saw between (Y/N) and Reid!"

"Is that your friend from earlier, baby girl?" He asked, tilting his head to the side with an amused smile creeping on his lips.

"Yes and she spent about 20 minutes gushing over him, Derek," Penelope laughed. "She is smitten and their interaction couldn't have been all that long. So, tell me, you beautiful man, what. Did. You. See?"

"Okay, okay!" He put his hands in the air and gave a good natured chuckle. "She walked up to him and got his attention, he fumbled asking her if he could help her with something, she asked how to find you, and he tried to tell her but it sounded like he was about to have a stroke so I stepped in and offered to show her to you. She offered him a cookie as a thanks for his effort and then we went to your office."

"Nothing else?" She pressed, trying to get every last bit of information that she could.

"Uh, she called him handsome, I think?" He added, trying to sneak a second cookie but being met with a slap on the wrist from Penelope.

"Okay so I have a plan," she said, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper as she leaned in closer to Derek. "But I'm going to need your help."

Spencer sat in the café Derek had told him to go to, a single lavender rose in front of him. He had been told to look for a girl wearing a light purple beret, but no such girl had arrived in the 15 minutes he'd been waiting. He checked his watch while his heart beat rapidly against his chest. Why had he agreed to a blind date in the first place? Logically he knew Derek wasn't like the kids he went to school with growing up, he would never intentionally hurt his friends like that, but a part of Spencer's mind was telling him that this was all some elaborate prank that all his coworkers would be laughing about on Monday.

In the midst of his thought spiral he failed to notice that someone had approached his table until he heard a soft throat clearing from in front of him. He started and looked up, his cheeks turning a soft shade of red as he met the twinkling eyes that have been plaguing his thoughts for the passed week.

"Dr. Reid?" She asked with a hopeful look on her face. "I don't think we were every properly introduced the other day. I'm (Y/N) (Y/L/N). May I join you?"

"Oh! Uh, um, s-sure! Please do," he stuttered, realizing that she was wearing a lavender colored beret that from the looks of it was handmade with a lot of care. "I, uh, I'm Spencer." He smiled at her as she sat across from him in the empty chair.

"It's nice to officially meet you, Spencer," she responded with a soft giggle that made Spencer feel like he was about to melt.

"I, uh, I brought you this," he told her as he reached for the rose in front of him, reaching his hand out over the table to hand it to her. Her cheeks tinged an adorable shade of pink as she reached for it.

"I don't know if I've ever seen a rose this shade before," she whispered, twirling it around in her fingers as her eyes widened in awe.

"Different colored roses carry different meanings," He began explaining his thought process behind the particular color he had picked for her. "Lavender colored roses usually represent enchantment, admiration, and carry an air of mystery or mysticism, so I figured it would be a perfect color for the first time meeting you." He felt his cheeks burn as he finished his explanation.

"That's incredibly sweet of you, Spencer," she smiled at him softly, reaching forward to put her hand on top of his. At this point he swore his heart was going to explode. "And even though we've technically met before it also has the added benefit of matching my hat quite well."

"Yes, yes it does," he smiled back as a warm feeling bloomed and spread throughout his chest.

"So what do the other colors of roses signify?" She asked, tilting her head and listening eagerly with the very same smile that had made him tumble head over heels for her during their first encounter as he began explaining each and every color of rose and their multitude of meanings. Not once did she roll her eyes or sigh from boredom. As the night drew on and the conversation flowed Spencer knew that a lavender rose was indeed a perfect choice since what they really symbolized was love at first sight.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

hi!! I had an idea for a funny/ prank type fic for frat boy jaehyun!! It’s that one trend where the girl talks about getting a wax appointment (or some other appointment) after a really long time and plays it off as a guy waxes her which usually gets the significant other really confused thinking “a guy waxes you..?” I HOPE U KNOW WHAT I MEAN 😭😭 have a good day💞💞

anoooooon!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS IDEA!!!!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

⋆⭒˚.⋆ what do you mean, he? ⋆⭒˚.⋆

(cw: f!reader, TikTok trend, profanity sugestive, Jaehyun is such a fucking loser (affectionate) in this)

"Oh baby!" You sing as you push that door open to Fratboy!Jaehyun's room.

It's a handful of days before his birthday now and all week you've been doing the prep you need for a very romantic and heated night with your own Valentine Boy. You'd gotten your nails done, been doing face masks, done a few hair masks, gotten your eyebrows done, and finally today, "guess who got her coochie waxed!"

Your exclamation is met with a "hell yeah!" from down the hall and a flushed Jaehyun scrambling away from his desk to shut the door behind you.

"Ok, love the news, love the mental image, but what did we say about announcing things like that around here?" Jaehyun asks with rosy cheeks.

"But you guys talk about your dicks and balls all the time, why can't you hear about my coochie?"

"Trust me Sweets, I want to hear about her day and night, but I don't want everyone else to hear about her," Jaehyun chuckles while pressing a kiss on your cheek.

You throw yourself onto his bed, turning to watch him settle back into his chair. He rubs your calf softly, "how was it?"

"Hurt like a bitch, but I'm getting used to it. Ash is pretty good about soothing the pain and has good tips for aftercare and all that," you explain.

"Ash? Didn't you used to go to a Jane or something?"

You smile at him, finding it endearing that he listens to what others would consider to be useless details, "yeah, but Jane is on maternity leave, so now I'm seeing Ash. He's good too—"

"He?!" Jaehyun exclaims with his eyes wide with shock.

"Um, yes, he. Is that a problem?" You ask with a confused tilt of your head.

"A guy waxes you, Sweetheart?"

"What is so confusing about this? Yes, my waxer, Ash, is a guy." You state, still not understanding what his incessant questioning is about.

"Sweetheart, another guy is looking at your... lady bits. Like all up and intimate up there while you're probably like spread eagle and showing yourself to him. Shouldn't you only be like that for me?" He asks, speaking slowly and softly in the hopes that you'll understand his point of view better now.

You roll your eyes and push his hand off your leg, "Ash is a 50 something year old gay man who is married and talks about the recipes he most recently made while he's ripping hair out of my 'lady bits'. Can I make it any more clear that he's not interested and more importantly, I'm not either!"

You stand from the bed, throwing your hands up as you continue, "I mean, hello! I got waxed for you! For your birthday! Duh!"

"You know I don't need you to do anything like that. I'm sorry Sweetheart," Jaehyun apologizes, grabbing your hips and tugging you closer to him until he can nuzzle his head against your stomach, "I just went a little crazy thinking about another guy looking at my girl..."

"Your girl? Jae, guys look at me all the time—" you say with a look of confusion until you're interrupted by a single finger against your lips.

"Not you, my girl," Jaehyun mumbles, dragging his finger down from your lips to the waistband of your pants, "her my girl."

You push his head away with a scoff, "oh fuck off, Jaehyun. Coochie privileges revoked until your birthday."

"Damn..."

[thehelltingvilleclub]

Helltingville Epilogues

Want some old men? have old men and the lonely rat bastard Captain Dickey.

From left to right:

Jerry - Mandi - Cherri (Left) - William "Buck" Titus (Right) - Bill - May - Pete - Jane - Amari (Matt's younger sister) - Josh - Matt

dude this took me too long

but man do I love all of em

Jerry and Mandi don't end up together permanently-- but they do have their kids together. I genuinely imagine Jerry ends up like Scout TF2 style as a single dad to like 4 kids but he loves them all equally and gives them all the attention he can.

And when he can't handle them all, he'll just drag Bill over and make him deal with them.

Yes, in Helltingville the gang stick together.. kind of. Like old friends that happen to live nearby-- they meet up occasionally, they keep tabs on each other online, they might even have a christmas party together, but they definitely are not hanging out regularly like they did as kids.

Jerry and May's anxiety can't take it, Josh's heart can't take it, and Bill can't take the guilt of knowing that, so its sparingly, but they'll keep in touch.

During the heavy confrontation after Comicon and after, Bill kinda.. hit rock bottom? Like if he hit rock bottom as a teenager then he hit the bottom of satan's fucking boot. Getting reemed out by Matt, disgusting looks from everyone and even his sister, seeing everyone so happy without him--

he struggles with that, and he hates it. He gets so unbelievably angry with himself for being both equally stupid and selfish. He shouldn't be upset about this! They're just stupid fake fans that don't understand him, right? then why the hell is he three bottles in and he still feels like shit?

Jerry and May keep tabs on Bill the most, checking on him and forcing him into therapy. Jerry uses him as a free babysitter, May enjoys the company when she isn't on set with Pete, and Bill isn't passed out drunk in his mom's basement.

Jane and Amari were enemies in high school, they actually hated each others GUTS. Amari was captain of the cheerleading team and Jane had her punk girl gang. And yet, in college, they managed to get together and put aside their differences. (Plus, Amari has the same infatuation problem as Matt... and her type is scrawny women that could stab a bitch, apparently).

Matt does develop a bit.. of an alcohol issue. He's so stressed from work, worried about Josh and his health, BILL being ALIVE, Bill being NEAR HIM, Bill staring at his SISTER bro his liver is crying.

Josh.. kind of knows. He can tell that Matt drinks at dinner and maybe a sip or two before bed, but He doesn't want to step out of line and make Matt upset. The last thing he wants is to upset his fiance and get yelled at again for being useless. He doesn't need to go down memory lane.

Cherri develops a vocal stim similar to Jerry, and struggles to talk otherwise and is usually hiding behind him whenever they aren't in their room. Buck, on the other hand, will not stop asking questions or shut the fuck up. this kid has enough energy to power the sun and his brain never turns off. Sorry Bill, you're gonna have to explain the entire Star Trek lore because you mentioned Star Logs and did the Vulcan Salute and now he demands to know what that is.

May works with Pete on occasion, mostly on a commission basis from Butchie. She helps make props and walks new actresses through the ropes and makes sure they're safe on set. Pete is just happy his woman's with him and you BET he brags "guys look at my girlfriend god I love her--"

And yes, they're looking to name their kiddo Sidney, but it's still a toss up. Bill says the name sounds dumb but won't help May pick any new ones to add to the list, so his opinion can get stuck in a meatgrinder.

Guys i have too much to say about them.

[hwangism143]

𓆩♡𓆪 how skz would propose to you. 𓆩♡𓆪

BANG CHAN

he would invite you over (or sneak, i should say) to the studio for a date cuz you both do this all the time

sometimes, he plays you snippets of songs he's working on, other times, you're just talking the night away while getting some work done

anyways, today he's playing you one of his songs

you're just completely immersed in the music and when it ends the lingering feeling of wanting more is left behind

how could it not? the song was about spending an eternity with you

you're about to turn around and profess your love for chan for the millionth time when you see him

he's on one knee and lets out a choked, "i meant everything in that song. i didn't know what love was before i met you, but you have shown me love and so much more. marry me?"

ofc you say yes (i mean, i would) and just end up falling asleep on his couch

LEE MINHO

you guys go to your favorite cat cafe, and bring the kids (cats?) along with you too

suddenly, soonie comes along with a note stuck to her back - "will you be our parent? i mean, for real?"

you look at minho who's playing with the cats on the other side of the room, confused, but he doesn't see you

(actually, he's blushing like crazy and is too scared to make eye contact lmao)

that is until you walk over to him and give him a nudge

he's beaming at you (this boy istg) and gets down on one knee

"we can't let our kids be a part of a dysfunctional family. they another parent, and they love having you around. actually, no, they love you. and they wanna grow old with you. so. will you, uhm, marry me? their father?"

(pls im giggling at this myself)

SEO CHANGBIN

you guys are out on a date at a fancy restaurant and changbin's acting extra giggly

now mind you, this is seo changbin. extra giggly is far more than what you would imagine

you're finally done eating and slump against your chair when the server brings another plate of food

you look at changbin with a "bro. i'm full." but the bro in question is just looking at you.

you look down at the tray placed in front of you.

"will you marry me?" it says with a ring in the middle?

"be my permanent gym partner?" asks changbin hopefully

and you say yes (bcuz who in their right mind wouldn't ???)

HWANG HYUNJIN

we all know how extra this man is, so when he insists that you two go to the bookshop where you first met, you don't protest

you're scanning the bookshelf, reminiscing about how you both bonded over monet and jane austen at this very shop

then you here a little gasp in front of you

naturally, your first instinct is to turn around and check on hyunjin

and he is down on one knee, a sobbing mess (but still cute, y'know)

"you have, and always will be my muse," he says, "so will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honor of being your husband?"

he slides the ring onto your finger and pulls you into a hug and you're both crying and laughing and

(i'm sorry this is so cute, goodbye)

HAN JISUNG

you had made up your mind - is jisung wasn't going to propose to you, you would propose to him

(get it, queen or king or gender non-identifying reader!)

and so you're on your rooftop building when he goes "i need to tell you something" and funnily enough, so do you

(i wonder what that's about... hehehe)

after a series of 'you first', 'no you'. jisung admits defeat and slides you over the ring box

wordlessly, you slide over your box

the two of you just start laughing because, idiots in love

and then you squish jisung and start peppering him with kisses

LEE FELIX

it's a beach date!

absolutely perfect, all complete with bokkie's brownies

but felix is acting kinda nervous.

(and by nervous i mean his face is beet red and he's stuttering like crazy)

(what can you say, my boy is in love)

you're eating the last brownie when he says "close you eyes"

you do and you hear some shuffling.

you open your eyes to a sniffling felix propped up on one knee. "can I be your personal brownie chef for the rest of forever?"

who can say no to an offer like that?

KIM SEUNGMIN

you both were coming home from one of your numerous dates

it was the perfect night to be walking outside, but seungmin seemed really shifty

he was NOT enjoying himself

"are you cheating on me?" you ask jokingly

"far from it actually," he retorts, suddenly letting go of your hand.

you turn to find him in the middle of the street with a ring in his hand

"marry me. will you? please? i've had this ring with me for months and i didn't know when to propose but now i know, well like i always knew-"

you promptly shut him up with a kiss and a breathless yes

YANG JEONGIN

nothing was going according to plan for innie. you spent too much time picking an ice cream flavor and he knew that he was spending too much time at this clothing store

but they just got a new collection

and so he waits until you both are done so that he can take you to that really drmamtic fountain in front of the mall and propose to you

but watching you pick out your clothes, he realizes he wants to do this for the rest of forever

so this man promptly plops down on one knee in the middle of a department store and screams, "WILL YOU MARRY ME AND BE MY SHOPPING BUDDY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? WE CAN BE EACH OTHERS PROBLEMS"

you just look at him confused holding up a t-shirt, "UH OKAY I'LL MARRY YOU AND WE CAN BE EACH OTHERS PROBLEMS"

you both are so loud that you nearly get kicked

(later he makes you buy him ice cream because he's a baby who's done a good job and deserves a reward)

[calliesmemes]

EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”

“   Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”

“   I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”

“   Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”

“   Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”

“   Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”

“   Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”

“   My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”

“   Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”

“   It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”

“   If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”

“   Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”

“   I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”

“   I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”

“   I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”

“   Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”

“   Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”

“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”

“   Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”

“   i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”

“   These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”

“   I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”

“   I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”

“   DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”

“   I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”

“   Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”

“   My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”

“   I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”

“   Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”

“   I was born for shock value. ”

“   Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”

“   Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”

“   Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”

“   Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”

“   My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”

“   This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”

“   I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”

“   Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”

“   My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”

“   I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”

“   I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”

“   Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”

“   Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”

“   Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”

“   girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”

“   BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”

“   I just gave your address to some spiders! ”

“   I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”

“   I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”

“   Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”

“   I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”

“   Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”

“   I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”

“   I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”

“   Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”

“   Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”

“   Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”

“   If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”

“   Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”

“   Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”

“   Swag is earned, not learned. ”

“   Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”

“   I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”

“   Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”

“   If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”

“   Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”

“   I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”

“   It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”

“   Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”

“   At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”

“   Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”

“   Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”

“   One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”

“   On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”

“   My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”

“   I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”

“   Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”

“   I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”

“   Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”

“   I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”

“   I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”

“   Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”

“   Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”

“   I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”

“   I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”

“   Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”

“   i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”

[urhoneycombwitch]

shrine of your lights

Eddie Munson x fwb!Reader edibles and a church wedding to attend. what could go wrong with Eddie as your plus one? 

foreword: I listened to Say You Love Me by Fleetwood Mac for this. LOL. kind of AU bc it’s a few years after ssn 4 and everyone is alive and just fine (lovesick but oh well can’t b helped) based on this anon thank u for inspiring me!!!!

cw: a smidge of Catholic blasphemy, weed usage, friends w/ benefits Eddie, R is a bit of a love (and relationship) skeptic and Eddie is lovesick, R+E are in their 20’s, pining, public sex (no one but them observes tho), R has hair long enough to tuck behind ears, R gets a hickey but skin tone/color is not described, R has breasts and a V, softdom Eddie, marking kink (?)

wc: 4.8k

___

The stained glass window in front of you looms tall, afternoon light streaming through and casting a kaleidoscope of colors on the polished wood flooring. You stretch out a hand into the warm beam of sun, admiring the way the colors catch and bounce off your dainty star-chain bracelet.

When Eddie had suggested you two eat some weed brownies as a precursor to your (very distant, very Catholic) cousin’s wedding, you hadn’t quite expected to get as stoned as you are now. Since Eddie hasn’t attended any major life functions sober since 1981, and seeing as how you refuse to step foot inside a church space without some sort of social lubricant, the weed wasn’t a hard sell at all. 

To be fair, Eddie had warned you of their potency, and you had snuck another quarter of a brownie when his back was turned: but christ, your tolerance must be crazy low or something, ‘cuz a window has no right to be this mesmerizing. 

You’ve been staring at it for the past five minutes, in your own little world while a steady stream of wedding guests file in through the big oak doors and mill about before the ceremony. The warm, still air of the church is heady with the smell of fresh florals and incense, and a line of votive candles flicker and wink against the windowsill.

Casting a glance over your shoulder, you see Eddie’s still speaking in gentle tones with an elderly woman (whom you’re likely related to, hard to say) near the foyer, all charming smile and sincere hand pressed to the slip of bare chest his button-down displays. You’ve got to hand it to the guy, he’s really great at endearing himself to total strangers; he’s been a natural shoe-in for any plus-one you’ve needed over the past few years.

While Eddie is perfectly in his element, holding what looks to be an engaging conversation while stoned to all hell, your focus is drawn back to the window. You should probably be on the arm of your guest, seeing as how it’s your family wedding after all, but the swirling lights and colors are too alluring to pull yourself away from.

“Beautiful piece of art, isn’t it?”

The voice behind you is unfamiliar, and proper social graces here would call for an introduction, perhaps a firm handshake, but your limbs and tongue feel so loose and the reply is out of your mouth before you can think twice- “God, yeah. S’fucking gorgeous. I want one for my house.”

There’s a light cough, and when you turn on your low-heeled Mary Janes it’s under the amused eye of a priest- in full priest-garb. Green velvet robes and little hat and everything.

You realize your error- swearing and taking the Lord’s name in vain- but the brief stint in Catholic school from when you were 6 is unfortunately not recalled in time to stop the scramble of swears mixed with apologies that come tumbling out. 

“Oh shit- I mean- fuck. Oh god. Sorry, Father, I didn’t mean-”

The priest- old as hell but thankfully with sense of humor still intact- smiles kindly at you and takes your hand in both of his, patting graciously. “No apologies are necessary, my dear. The beauty of God can be overwhelming and awe-inducing.”

You nod jerkily, grabbing on to his excuse- “Yes, yep. That’s exactly what happened. Struck down by the awe.”

The priest nods to you, and then to Eddie (who’s appeared at your side like a guard dog that sensed trouble), then wanders off down a row of pews to greet other guests.

You’re nearly doubled over with the effort it takes to conceal your laughter, Eddie stroking a calming hand down your back and chuckling with you under his breath. 

“Struck down by the awe, huh?” he echoes as you straighten back up and dab at the tears gathering against your lashline. “You really are somethin’.”

“That was so embarrassing but guess what-” here you lean in, voice a conspiratorial whisper as Eddie raises his eyebrows to look down his nose at you- “I don’t give a fuck ‘cuz I’m hi-igh.”

This last word is sung with a two-note lilt, and you turn back to the comfort of the sunny window as Eddie steps in beside you, shaking his head. “I told you to start with a lower dose, ya goose. Did you take more when I wasn’t looking?”

You shrug a shoulder, the soft linen of your cardigan brushing up against the hard leather of Eddie’s jacket. “Maybe. Couldn’t say. You gonna steal this window for me or what?”

He blows out a breath, pretending to appraise the size and heft, rapping his ringed knuckles against the sill- “Well normally I’d say ‘anything for my girl’, but we’d need a shrink ray for this type’a heist.”

“Maybe Dustin has one we can borrow.”

He sucks his front teeth, playing along, shaking his head in faux-disappointment. “Nah, little shit’s only got a ham radio. Useless when it comes to religious robbery.”

Eddie looks overly pleased when you giggle, but some of the humor in his face falls to concern as he reaches out to squeeze your upper arms. “Hey. You doin’ okay? If you’re too stoned to sit through the ceremony, I can find us a little spot to hole up in. I’m good at finding those.”

“I know you are,” you reply, waving away his worry. “I’m fine, honest. Do I look high?”

He holds you at arm’s length, giving you a contemplative once-over. “Nope. You look beautiful.”

You roll your eyes, affectionately, then smooth your palms over the front of your black slip dress and pull the scalloped sleeves of your cardigan into place. “Well, of that I am aware.”

Eddie winks, and you really wish you were sober enough that the warmth of his hands and the smell of his cologne would have less of an effect but high as you are, you want nothing more than to burrow into his neck and taste the salt of his skin. 

“Do I look high?” he asks, pulling away to do a little spin so you can appraise his appearance. 

Eddie Munson, as it turns out, cleans up very well for family functions: smart black boots, maroon button-down tucked into a pair of flare-legged trousers, worn but well-kept leather jacket to top the outfit off. And in signature Eddie fashion, little glints of silver highlight the ensemble- his usual chunky rings, stacked layers of thin chain necklaces, metal buckles on his coat and at his waist, even a set of tiny hoops (courtesy of your jewelry drawer) in his ears. 

The dryness in your mouth has nothing to do with your intoxication as you blink back to the present and give Eddie a once-over. “Uhm. Nope. You look sober. And very hot.”

He grins at you, wolfish, but then a bright chord of organ music signals the start of the ceremony. With a steady hand on your back, he leads you to a pew near the last row; when you’re both seated, his hand runs smoothly down to rest on your thigh, drumming a lazy beat with his thumb against you as the processional starts. 

Your cousin Marion looks lovely swathed in white tulle, contrasted with her groom in a black tux. Her mother, your aunt- Karen? Karina? can’t recall- dabs at her tears with a delicate lace handkerchief in the front pew as the couple exchanges vows, promising eternal and ineffable love until their ultimate demise, etcetera. 

You’re not someone who’s ever fallen prone to the gushy emotions that love seems to create in so many of your peers. While Nancy and Robin will dole out tissues to each other during some cheesy romcom, you’ll get ribbed for being so stoic. None of your breakups have ever ended in giant blowouts or dramatics from your side- hard to fight for something when you hadn’t really cared about it in the first place. 

That’s why you consider yourself so lucky, when it comes to Eddie. After the two of you ended your high school fling due to graduation, you’d come back to Hawkins after a few years of college and found yourself sneaking out like a teenager again to hang out with Eddie Munson. 

He told you he doesn’t want anything serious, either, and that he’s just fine being friends who sleep around and go to all of each other’s parties.

You almost believe him. 

He’s been to every one of your nephew’s hockey games this past season, and you’ve spent two cozy Christmases so far at the trailer with him and Wayne; every party in between has ended with Eddie driving you home, or (more frequently) back to his place. Your collective relatives and friends haven’t asked about your relationship status in years, and it’s all thanks to Eddie’s presence in your life: if the two of you aren’t technically dating, it’s really no one’s business. 

The old priest from earlier is droning on about some bible verse; uncomfortable on the hard bench and feeling restless, you shift your hips, and Eddie digs his fingers into the meat of your thigh.

“Quit. Squirming,” he murmurs, lips at your ear. When you shiver and still, he pats your leg and straightens again, eyes fixed to the front altar.

You and Eddie make it through the ceremony with minimal damage, only getting one dirty look from an older man in the pew ahead when you’d snickered at a dirty joke (courtesy of your benchmate). Marion and her new husband greet their guests one by one as everyone filters outside, and you coast easily through the interaction, kissing your cousin on both cheeks and fawning over her dress and giving just the right amount of congrats before Eddie plucks at your elbow to subtly redirect your attention. 

“Let’s get some food in you,” he says, linking your arms together as you follow the receiving line outdoors.

The reception is held just next to the church building in a surprisingly lovely courtyard. Sunlight filters through the willow trees at the edge of a grass yard, where a picnic basket awaits on each spread quilt. People are kicking off their dress shoes, unwinding with the lure of nature, kids chasing each other through the paths between blankets as adults wiggle their toes into the grass and dig into the luncheon.

Possibly, you’re high and over-romanticizing, but you can tell by the look on Eddie’s face he’s there with you, taking it all in from your blanket in a quiet corner of the yard. 

There are finger sandwiches in the basket, along with some fresh fruit and plastic utensils and plates to eat off of; Eddie fixes you a plate and you dig in happily, sock feet tucked under yourself, yours and Eddie’s shoes in a jumble nearby. 

“Could eat anything when I’m high,” you muse, then bite into a sandwich that has the perfect cream-cheese-to-cucumber ratio with a contented sigh. “Food is so good.”

Eddie snaps a baby carrot with his back teeth, then snorts at you before reaching out to tuck one side of your hair behind your ear before it gets eaten along with your food. “I know you can eat anything when you’re high. I once saw you scooping up apple pie with potato chips.”

You give him a sidelong frown, mouth full of bread and veg as you defend yourself- “Yeah, and it was great. Dee-licious. Would do it again if-”

Your name is being called, and you swivel to see a young man about your age weaving along the spaces between blankets towards yours and Eddie’s spot.

“Tony!” In a neat bit of multitasking, you manage to swallow your food and rise to your feet (albeit unsteadily, with Eddie’s hand snapping out to support your efforts), then hold your arms out to envelop the boy in a hug. “Oh my god, it’s been ages.”

Anthony Townsend has grown up in the time you’ve spent away- the last recollection you have of your former childhood neighbor is his mop of red hair bouncing with the trampoline his parents bought him in 6th grade. He grew into his looks, for sure- the awkwardness of pre-teen ears and too-big front teeth have settled into a very kind and handsome face.

He looks genuinely pleased to see you, returning your hug with a squeeze, pulling back to hold both your hands and ask about where you’ve been. You breeze through a highlighted version of the last few years, leaving out all the interdimensional monster bullshit and focusing the questions back on him.

Tony’s telling you about his father’s veterinary practice that’s still running smoothly when you feel Eddie at your back, and Tony falters, dropping your hands.

Social cues come a tad slow to you, under the influence, and you think Tony’s stumbling because you haven’t introduced him yet (how were you supposed to know Eddie’s been glaring daggers at the poor kid ever since you’d hugged him?), and you attempt to remedy your mistake with a casual remark- “You know, Eddie here has been feeding the stray cats at our place every night, a whole colony of them- there’s gotta be, what, ten of ‘em now?”

You turn to Eddie for confirmation, reeling a little at the dark scowl he’s still sporting as he nods. “Yup. Somethin’ like.”

Tony scratches at the back of his neck, freckled cheeks pink as he begins to back away- “Um, yeah. Cool. Well it was great to see you! I gotta…”

With a vague gesture, he turns and tails it back to his blanket on the other side of the yard. You whirl on Eddie, his face smoothing back into relaxed indifference, even as you hiss, “What the hell was that?”

Eddie shrugs. “Don’t know what you mean, princess.”

“That,” you repeat, waving an arm in the air for emphasis. “I know I’m not sober but you were being weird, even by my standards.” 

There’s this look that Eddie gets, sometimes, when one of you bumps against the walls of your loosely-defined relationship- a brief flash of pain and sadness before it gets hidden away behind his comfortable mask of bravado.

He’s got it now- a small pinch in his eyebrows, doey eyes swimming with emotion, and you put a hand on his leather-clad arm as the pieces fall into place. “Were you… are you jealous?”

In the span of a blink, the mask is back up, and with a dry laugh that’s so unlike him, Eddie shakes his head. “Nah. What do I have to be jealous of, huh? ‘S not like we belong to each other.”

Maybe on a different day, with half the weed in your system, you’d be able to let this comment slide. But there’s something deeply hurtful about it, sinking and twisting in your stomach like a stone. Your grip tightens on Eddie’s arm, tears stinging hot at your eyes, voice a watery, desperate thing- “Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”

Eddie is quick to comfort you, once he realizes you’re close to crying- “Shit, sweetheart. Okay. You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to think…” Your voice is still shaky with emotion as Eddie lets you hold on to him, gently shushing you even though there’s no one near enough to hear. “You’re important to me, Eddie. I never wanna make you mad, or upset, or-”

“I’m not.” Eddie cuts smoothly into your rambling, placing his hands on either side of your neck as you cling to him, cool rings kissing into your skin. “I’m not mad, promise. I was just being an asshole for no reason, okay? Could never be mad at you.”

His thumb strokes at the column of your throat, your breath and heart rate lulled to normal under his touch, his expression returning to the gentle fondness you’re used to seeing.

“Let’s finish up lunch, hm?” Eddie says, and with a final soft squeeze he pulls away from you, taking with him the warmth of his palms.  

It’s always like this, with him, at least in front of your respective families- any PDA is kept to a strict minimum, nothing too intimate or drawn out so as not to attract attention. You’d implemented this rule from the beginning, and Eddie has been nothing but respectful of it, your peace of mind over not wanting a label pacified.

But right now? The lack of Eddie’s arms around you or his lips on yours was starting to make you ache. 

You both settle into the blanket again, conversation flowing around mouthfuls of food as you catch Eddie up with the latest family gossip, laughing when he bats your pointer finger out of the air (as if anyone is really paying attention to you two giggling loons). 

Someone’s brought a radio and has it dialed to a soft rock station; you gasp and shove at Eddie (sprawled out like a house cat after a full meal in the sun), exclaiming “It’s Fleetwood Mac and you love Fleetwood Mac!”

“I so don’t,” he grumbles, but rises easily when you tug at him to stand sock-to-sock feet with you in the grass. 

You both fall into a smooth rhythm, Eddie’s hands staying (respectably) on your hips, yours looped around his neck, doing a slow little rotation. He gazes at you as you sway back and forth in each other’s arms, the scrutiny making you titter and fidget.

“What?”

“Thought I told you to quit squirmin’,' ' comes his answer, hands tightening into the meat of your waist. “Let me look at you a minute.”

So you let him look. 

While his chocolate eyes roam your face, you trail a hand up to curl a lock of his hair around your finger. Eddie leans into your touch, eyes fluttering shut, giving you room to do some staring of your own at those long, dark lashes. 

After another slow circle, Eddie inhales and draws himself back, clearing his throat. “Not that I’m not enjoying this, sweetheart, but we’re gonna start getting looks if you don’t quit using me as your personal stress toy.”

You snort. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“All good,” he replies, dimples springing into his cheeks, teasing again- “When we get home later you can pet me like a dog, if you want. Just gotta tone you down ‘cuz you get touchy when you’re high.”

Eddie’s being a perfect gentleman. He’s sticking to your rules and looking out for you.

So why is it making you so sad?

You realize, with a stunning clarity, that you don’t want to wait until you’re back at the trailer to touch Eddie. That you’re starting to crave him when he leaves, whether it’s for a day or an hour or just out of bed to get a snack. 

Fuck it, you think, and bend to scoop up your shoes. 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you tell Eddie, slipping on your shoes then starting towards the building. When you realize he’s not following, you pause, giving him a look over your shoulder- “Aren’t you coming?”

Eddie blinks, wondering if you’re insinuating what he thinks you’re insinuating or if he’s just really, really high. “Um. Uh…”

You don’t leave room for the shock to sink in, turning on your heel and smirking when you hear him swear under his breath and scramble to catch up. 

In a narrow hallway lined with portraits of long-dead saints, you push Eddie against the wall, mouth sealing over his and hands roaming hungrily over his body.

“Fuck,” he gasps out, in between kisses, your fingers tugging at the root of his hair, near the nape of his neck where it stings the best- “what’s got you so worked up, princess?”

“You.” The answer is an honest one. You slip your tongue between Eddie’s teeth and the boy moans, melting into you.

Peppering kisses down Eddie’s face, your lips settle into the hollow just under his jaw, then part to give room to your teeth. Eddie stiffens as you bite down, sensitive skin pierced by your mouth; it’s his turn to be the squirmy one as you suck a bruise into that soft spot. 

His cock is filling out, as proved by the steadily-growing bulge behind his zipper. You give a mean little wiggle of your hips and Eddie jolts so hard you lose your spot on his neck, popping off him with a wet smack.

“Angel, you have to stop.” Eddie sounds absolutely wrecked as he tries to maintain some distance, head tipped back to stare at the popcorn ceiling. “M’not gonna last if you keep doing that. Let me take you home, we can-”

“Shhh.” You quiet him with a pointer finger smooshed against his lips, your other hand tilted to your ear. “You hear that?”

Eddie strains to hear distant cheers and hip hip hoorays from the festivities a few corridors away; when he nods, you whisper, “That’s the cake cutting. We have a good ten minutes before anyone thinks to come back here.”

At first, Eddie thinks he’s off the hook when you release him completely, walking swiftly towards the main sanctuary. But then, because you’re a temptress, you beckon him with an impatient wave.

And because he’s so easy for you, he follows.

It’s like that window has a magnetic pull- you’re back under the prismatic glow of the stained glass, brushing a hand across the wide sill to dust it before hopping up to perch there. You fit neatly between the split row of votive candles (all snuffed out by now), enough room for your knees to part and for Eddie to fill the space. 

You cross your arms around his neck, drawing him in with another deep kiss as his hands find your waist.

“Want you to mark me up,” you murmur, and when Eddie draws back, wary, you let your chin tip up. The crown of your head knocks into the window, exposing your throat. “Show them I’m yours, Eds.”

Only have to tell him twice, apparently, ‘cuz his teeth sink into your stretch of soft skin without further qualms. The feeling of his tongue soothing over the sore spot makes you jump, hips bucking forward into his hand that you didn’t even notice had trailed up the inside of your dress.

His long fingers pet at the wet patch that’s seeping through your underwear, catching at your clit on an upstroke, your gasp a harsh noise in the otherwise silent sanctuary.

Eddie begins to rub at you through the fabric in earnest now, tight circles with his thumb even as he pulls his mouth from your neck to assess his handiwork. “Yeah, fuck, sweetheart, that’s gonna leave a mark. You want everyone to know who you belong to, huh?”

Your bundle of nerves throbs under Eddie’s touch and you curse, hands weaving tight into his hair again. “Shit, Eddie, yeah- just like that…”

He dips back into the well of your neck with his teeth, keeps just the right amount of pressure on your clit, and that tension coiling in your lower stomach is just about to snap before you stop him with a hand around his wrist.

“Sorry,” you pant through the apology, forehead crushed to Eddie’s collarbone as you try and catch your breath. “Was about to come and I want you inside of me for that.”

“Jesus fucking christ.”

Eddie fumbles with his belt buckles as you giggle, chastising- “Hush and mind your manners, Munson. That’s blaspheming and we’re about to fuck in a church.”

“I’ll show you manners.” Eddie has his pants and briefs shoved to mid-thigh before you can draw breath to tell him off; one hand smears precum down the shaft of his ruddy cock as the other pushes your dress up and hooks your panties to the side. 

You’re wet and worked up enough that he slides into the heat of you with ease, breath punching out with the way his cock completely fills you. When Eddie pulls out and sinks back in, you let out a keening whine and scrabble for purchase on his leather jacket. 

“That’s it, sweetheart, that’s it-” his voice is a dark rumble, each word punctuated with a snap of his hips, the squelch of your slick walls responding. “So wet for me. That’s my good girl. You like gettin’ off to being mine, huh, angel?”

You nod, head lolling against the window, and Eddie grins wicked even though you can’t see it. “Come on. Show me whose pussy this is.”

When his hand snakes between your bodies to press against your clit with his thumb, you come with a long, strained whimper, ankles crossing at the small of Eddie’s back to draw him closer while the velvet walls of your cunt spasm. 

Eddie’s free hand shoots out to the supporting wood arch of the window for stability as he angles his hips up, longing for that glossy honey-eyed look you get sometimes: and there it is, your eyes half-lidded and brow pinched in pleasure as his cock hits against that gummy spot, the tremble of your thighs locked around his waist as your orgasm peaks. 

Once he’s fucked you through the height of it, Eddie dips to bite at the taut muscle where your neck and shoulder meet, clamping down on the words threatening to flood out as his hips stutter. He comes hard, deep groan muffled into your neck, curses and praises spilling out in mindless babbling: “Fuck fuck, angel, that’s it, honey, shit, you’re so wet. All for me, huh, baby? Doin’ so good…”

He sags into your arms, pinning you to the window, chests heaving in tandem as you both catch your breath. You stroke a hand down his back, towards his ass, and then to the edge of his pants.

When he realizes that you’re trying to tuck him back into his clothes he whines at you, but you’re quick to shush him. “We’re cuttin’ it close with timing already, Eds. Help me out?”

Reluctantly, Eddie pulls away from the wet warmth of you to re-dress. Once his belt is in place he attends to you, helping shift the hem of your dress back down, rubbing his finger lightly under the skin of your eye where some mascara had smudged.

“I’ll double back for the keys and we’ll go home, ‘kay?” Eddie says, nose nudging into your cheek. “Wait here. You got some wicked marks and everyone will know we just fucked.”

“Pfft. No they won’t. Who would actually fuck in a church?” You push Eddie back playfully, hopping down from the sill with a wink. “You’ve gotta be sick to do that. Good thing my family believes you to be a perfect goody-two-shoes.”

Eddie stares as you make for the doors back to the courtyard, shrugging off his incredulity- “Eddie. It’s fine. So they’ll think we made out a bit. Who cares? Not me. And plus…” here you trail off and point, mischievous, Eddie’s eye’s following the line to his sock feet- “...you kinda have a no-shoes situation goin’ on. Gotta fix that.”

When you disappear through the doors, Eddie slams a palm to his chest, in awe- then feels the outline of the lighter in his inner pocket. With a practiced twist, he has it out and lit in a second, holding the flame to the wick of a votive candle.

“I don’t know how these candles work, exactly, or if atheists are allowed to…” Eddie clears his throat, glances over his shoulder to confirm you’re still out of earshot, then whispers above the flickering light: “Please let this be real life and not just some high-fueled fantasy because this is kind of huge for me. Okay thanks. Amen, or whatever.”

Eddie blows out the candle like it’s a birthday wish then hurries to catch up with you, sock feet silent against the wood floor as he calls out your name- “Slow down and have a heart, babe, I’ve got no grip!”

[hotmomsonly101]

Olivia’s girl (Olivia benson x fem reader

Summary: when someone disrespects you and Olivia(your wife) needs to remind them who’s wife they just go fucked with.

Genre: cute

Warnings: light teasing

This morning I woke up in pain as I am 5 months Pregnant, the bed is empty as Olivia had already went to work, I slowly get up and go Noah's room and walk in and see him sleeping, I smile to myself and walk next to his bed and lightly shake him.

"honey its time to get up" I say as I gently rub his back and he is slowly waking up

"mommy" he says sleepily and slowly opens his eyes

"hi baby, time to get up and get ready for school" I walk to his closet "how about you wear the new shirt mama got for you angel" I grab it and go to his drawer and grabs pants as he slowly sits up in his bed

"I wanna see mama mommy" he says as he gets up and raps his little arms around me

"I know honey, shes at work but if you get dressed we can face-time her before I take you to school" I say and he gets happy and quickly gets dressed for school and I grab my phone and video calls Olivia

"hello princess" she says as she answers wearing her glasses in her office "what do I own the pleasure to see your beautiful face this morning"

"hi liv" I laugh as Noah sits next to me "Noah wanted to talk to you before I drove him to school"

"HI mama" he says waving

"hi my love, I see your in your new shirt, are you ready for school" she says

"yes mama" he nods and smiles

"did you brush your teeth" she tells him

"no mama" saying it truthfully and smiling

"go brush your teeth" she says in a sweet but motherly tone and he goes to the bathroom "how are you feeling babygirl" she asks me

"good just my lower back hurts so much" I tell her ad I get up to get Noah's lunchbox from the fridge and put it in his bag

"come visit my later" she says making that teasing and loving face I love and I giggle

"okay baby, I will come see you later, maybe you can see something later" I say smiling brightly

"mhm is that so?" she says In the dominant and seductive tone

"yes" I smile and we talk for a little longer and I hang up so i can get Noah to school, drive him to school and go home and take a shower, picking out an outfit I pick leggings and sweatshirt and vans, and I do a little makeup and do my hair in a half up half down hairstyle with a cute black bow, I go to my car and drive to the station I walk in and see Amanda and Eliot

"hey there beautiful" Amanda comes over and hugs me "you are glowing today how is the baby" she asks and rubs my belly

"active" I say and smile as Eliot comes over and hugs me too

"you do look amazing Y/n, the baby is making you look like a million bucks" he laughs

"wish I felt like a million bucks, but thank you guys, the baby is so active lately mostly when Noah or Liv talks to my belly" I say as I feel the baby moving a lot "is the lieutenant busy" I say

"I think she has a girl in office but go in girl" Amanda tells me as I walk to her office and knock and hear come in and I walk in and see Olivia with someone but I'm not sure who it is

"well hello, this is a new hire, Jane, and Jane this is Y/n my-" she gets interrupted

"friend?, wow girl, you should lose a little weight not gonna lie no man will want that sorry" she says I look at her and then at Olivia, I can tell her blood is boiling right now "I mean you are pretty but you are fat"

"excuse me, what did you just say to my wife" Olivia says and gets up with her hands on the desk

"your, wife?' she says not fully believing it

"yes my wife, detective, not that it would matter she isn't fat, she is 5 months pregnant with my baby, so watch what you say" she is so pissed right now

"you guys are married, lieutenant she is like 20" she says looking at me

"actually Jane, I'm not 20 I'm 29 thank you very much not that it is any of your business" I tell her

"lieutenant you are a beautiful woman and you're dating a child carrying a child"

"I'm not dating a child I'm married to my wife who I love very much and we have an age gap so what, we love each other, we've been married for 4 years and please get out of my site you're fired" she says pissed

Jane leaves and I look at Olivia "woah baby that was hot" I say causing her to raise her eyebrow and smirk

"oh yeah? I'm sure it was come here" she says and I go over and she grabs my waist causing me gasp and smile and lean up to kiss her as she lightly makes my back lean on her desk

"you are such a beautiful girl" she says and kisses me again "my girl" she says and smiles leaning to kiss my forehead.

[butwhyduh]

How would Jason Todd react to a reader that is super into the book she’s reading she bumps into him as Jason and then again as red hood and had to save her at the same time

🥺 that’s so flipping cute

Warning: none

Jason looked at the spines of the books on the shelves. He was currently in Gotham’s oldest bookstore that had ancient books that were far too expensive for Jason. He used to walk past the stores and look in the window wishing he could go in. Now that he had a little bit of money, Jason went fairly regularly to buy a book for his collection. Of course Wayne Manor had almost all of these books but these were Jason’s books, not Bruce’s.

He bent down to look at an old book on the bottom shelves. The spine was cracked and yellowed with age. He gently grabbed it and as he stood up, he felt a body run into him. Soft flesh and the hard corner of the book pressed bodily against him. Jason held the book high with one hand and steadied the person with the other.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” You yelped. You had been reading and walking, a terrible habit. You took a step back to look at the tall fit handsome man in front of you. He was covering his shape in a baggy hoodie and jeans but it’s harder to hide when you run into someone. You flushed instantly.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” he said subconsciously rubbing his collarbone where the hard corner of your book had shoved into him.

“Did I hit you?” You asked. “I feel terrible.”

“I’m fine,” he replied. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I mean I jabbed the heck outta myself with the book but that’s my fault for walking and reading,” you said with a laugh. “Is your book okay?”

“Yeah, all good,” he said looking it over.

“Crime and punishment? Wow. Light reading?” You teased. He nodded while looking down.

“I’ve already read it. I just don’t have my own copy,” Jason said. He thought you were cute but he was a little disoriented. He had planned to look at old books in silence.

“What’s with guys reading depression books?”

“It’s not- okay it is. But I don’t just read depression books. What are you reading?” He quipped and his heart beat a little faster when you grinned up at him while shoving the book behind your back. It was adorable.

“I don’t want to say,” You answered while evading him looking over your shoulder to see.

“You don’t want to say? Is it bad? Bodice ripper or something?” He teased. “Fairy porn?”

“No,” you protested. “Take me out for coffee and I’ll show you.”

“Coffee hu? There’s a place across the street,” Jason answered. “Count it as done. Show the book,” he said with his hand out.

“How do I guarantee that?” You turned sharply to press the book against the shelf when he tried to look behind you.

Jason put his arm high up on the shelf above your head. You could see how tall and handsome he was. “Trust me. I’m taking you out for coffee,” he said seriously. You gulped.

You didn’t have an answer, a quip. All you could think about was the man before you that held your attention like a good book.

He slowly reached behind your back and you could smell his pleasant aftershave as he grabbed the spine of the book.

“The Ethics of Superman: Man or Menace? And you said my book is serious? I didn’t peg you as the type to read this kind of book, I’ll admit,” Jason said. He didn’t want to act like it but if you were obsessed with superheroes, he was disappointed.

“It’s for college. My debate class. I was hoping to read the important part without buying it,” you admitted. He nodded knowingly.

“I get that. Coffee?” He said sitting the books on the table.

“What about your book?” You asked.

“Not the one I want,” he replied while looking at you. Jesus, this man was intense.

You both went to shop across the street and over coffee, talked about books you actually liked. You found out that, yes, Jason did read depression books but also loved Jane Austen books. You laughed at the idea.

“Are you laughing at me?” He asked, pretending to be wounded.

“No, no. It’s not everyday that a big tall strong guy says he likes Pride and Prejudice,” you laughed. He grinned at you.

“Wow judging a book by its cover,” he teased.

“Hey now, I judge all books by their covers. Not just your cover,” you said and he raised an eyebrow. “That did not sound the way I meant it. I mean-“

“I get what you mean,” he replied before taking a drink of his coffee. “One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.”

“Are you quoting Jane Austen? Keep that up and I’ll be taking you home,” you whipped before taking a drink of your own coffee. Jason choked on his drink. His eyes were wide as he cough.

“Sorry! Sorry,” he said. His cheeks were bright red. You noticed cute freckles across his nose as well as you grinned at him with a giggle.

His phone rang and Jason looked at it with a frown. “It’s work. I have to go. Sorry. Can I have your number? Call you sometime?”

“Sure,” you said before telling him. He sent you a quick wave text. “Call me sometime. Maybe you can quote some Shakespeare or something next time.”

“Next time- sure, yeah,” he said before racing out the door.

A few weeks of texting and calling and even a few meet ups when Jason wasn’t busy with his night job had you quite strung along. You caught yourself grinning at his texts and waiting for his calls. Talking about books with him had your passion for reading at an all time high. When you weren’t thinking of the tall handsome reader, you were reading.

So much so that you always had a book in your hand. Jason had warned you to not walk and read but have you ever really listened to anyone?

Now it wasn’t your fault that an idiot drove a motorbike on the sidewalk as you meandered to the bus stop. Jason wasn’t always watching you but when you left Gotham U late in the evening, he found himself watching and following from the rooftops.

Just as you went to take a step, an arm grabbed you around the waist and you felt yourself swing on a rope. You shrieked as you swung up to a rooftop. You grasped at the red masked man that grabbed you as you looked down to the street level.

“Oh my god!” You gasped before you even turned to look at the man before you. The Red Hood stood tall and imposing as he let go when you were safely on the roof.

“How many times have I told you to look when you’re walking? Don’t read and walk. You were almost ran over by a motorbike,” the vigilante said exasperated. You frowned. The voice was disguised but the tone and word use was familiar.

“Jason?” You asked with sudden clarity. He froze. “You’re- seriously?”

It suddenly made sense. How he was so fit and muscular for a librarian. How he had so many random bits of knowledge. Why he was almost always radio silent at night.

“I don’t know who-“ he started but you were already reaching over to the helmet. “Stop,” he said. He clicked the locks open and making sure no one could see either of you, he removed the helmet.

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” he said slowly with a wary look on his face as he tried to gauge your reaction.

“Okay. Okay,” you repeated. You sat down while avoiding the edge. “Hu. Were you following me?”

“No. I just happened to be there. Sorry about the roof. I know you’re not a big fan of heights,” he said.

“Yeahhh.”

“And I hate to say this but the only way off the roof is to jump,” he added.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Why don’t we go back to my place and I’ll tell you more,” Jason suggested.

“And when you say jump…”

“Grappling hook, swing down to the street or across to another building. I won’t let you fall,” he added. You looked at him and down to the ground before sighing.

“Fuck.”

He put the helmet back on and opened an arm to grab you. You grasped him so tightly that it hurt a little. He walked you to the roof edge and you inhaled quickly before burying your face in his jacket.

“Fuck,” you repeat.

“We’re going to the building across the street, okay? Just breathe,” he said and you nodded without looking. He shot the grappling hook and grabbed you tight before jumping. The feeling of free falling before the rope went taunt pulled a scream from your throat. Suddenly the arch of the swing went a different direction and you shrieked.

“Got you,” he said before swinging up to a different rooftop. It was probably a minute before he could peel you off of him. “We’re here. Come on.”

Jason pulled you to the emergency staircase on the outside of the apartment building. You groaned as you went down a few floors to an apartment. Jason opened the window and you both crawled in.

“I guess I have a long story to tell you,” he grimaced. Over the next few hours he told you everything. After he had exhausted himself with as much info as he felt he needed to say, Jason looked over at you.

“You’re telling me that you’ve had an apartment a few blocks from Gotham U and you never told me?”

Jason laughed, surprised.

“I mean, I’ve been going all the way across town when this place was here. You owe me so many bookstore dates,” you replied.

“Oh yeah, I can do that,” he sagged in relief. You sat in his lap and pulled him into a hug.

“Don’t ever fucking swing me around the city ever again,” you muttered before kissing him. He nodded before letting you push him back on the couch.

[girliism]

patrick zweig x reader

-

“oh please pick up, pick up, pick up.”

“hello.”

“oh thank god. i thought you weren’t gonna answer.”

“i’ll always answer for you.”

there was a pause like there always is when either of you says anything a little too intimate.

patrick clears his throat. “but um why are you calling shouldn’t you be at your bachelorette party?”

your sigh echos through the phone. “i’m actually currently hiding out in the bathroom at a stripclub after having three different strippers half hard cocks thrust into my face.”

patrick’s loud laugh fills your ears, and you have to roll your eyes. “so what, do you need a get away driver? want me to come get you?”

you shook your head as if her could see you. “no, no. i just needed a little break from my bridesmaids.” you said the title in a mocking manner. “i thought this wedding stuff was supposed to be fun.” you say quietly.

“you could always come hang out with me.”

before you could respond there was a knock on the bathroom door.

“are you done in there we have to move on to our next location.” you gave a half assed answer back to whoever was at the door would leave.

“i have to go.”

-

the rest of the night you let your bridesmaids drag you around new york before you started to complain.

“seriously you guys i’m so so tired, and my feet hurt. i would love to stay out but i really really can’t.” before they could try and convince you you shut to door in their faces. letting out a loud sigh you threw your bags next to the door.

you got yourself ready for the night. washing away the activities of tonight before slipping into your pajamas.

it was 3 am and you couldn’t sleep. you toss and turn, you count sheep, you even try to get yourself off but couldn’t be further from in the mood. patrick’s words rang through your head. “you could always come hang out with me.”

-

three soft knocks sounded through patrick’s hotel room. he originally ignored them but three more came.

“sorry but i didn’t order room service-” he started, opening the door without look through the peek hole. instead of if being a worker it was you in a navy blue slip dress and white slippers carrying two bottles of champagne.

“still wanna hang out?”

patrick stepped aside to let you in, and as if it were your own room you immediately crawled into his bed settling down. patrick slid in next to you grabbing one of the bottles of champagne, popping it open and taking a big glup. “we should watch 27 dress. since, you know, you’re getting married tomorrow.”

“asshole.” you said unseriously, taking the bottle from him chugging back some of the alcoholic beverage.

you and patrick passed back and forth the bottle of champagne taking sips, and eating from the large basket of fries you guys had ordered. ignoring the way your fingertips would sometimes brush, neither of you moving to separate them just letting them linger for a second.

“i don’t wanna get married.” you say softly, watching as jane nicholas switches between dresses. you feel patrick’s eyes on you but you don’t turn to meet them.

“why?”

you shrug, picking at an imaginary loose thread sighing. patrick in all the years that he’s known you he has never seen you so… unsure. not even when you guys were sixteen and patrick got way to drunk at a charity event and crashed his dads car. you knew exactly what to do and who to call. but right now you just looked defeated.

“i mean, it’s not like it’s even my wedding. all just a business transaction. patrick, i didn’t even get pick my own bridesmaids. oh! and my main of honor is the daughter of some guy my dads trying to close a deal with.” you scoffed, letting out everything you’ve been feeling since the night to said yes to the proposal. “at first i was fine with it but i don’t know anymore.”

you sounded so hopeless and patrick didn’t know what else to do but trace little soothing shapes on your bare knee.

“why didn’t you ask me patrick?”

the question caught him off guard. he knew what you were talking about but it still shocked him.

when your parents had deemed you were getting to old and need to marry because in their words. “you have nothing other skills my dear, the least you can do it marry for the business.” patrick had been their first contending, he always was since the two of you met. he came from a very wealthy family and your fathers were already friends. but patrick said, no.

“i don’t know what you mean-” you cut him off with a scoff and an eye roll. “why. didn’t. you. ask me patrick?” you finally turned to look at him, and said with a small voice. “i wanted you to ask me.”

patrick sat up taking his hand off of you and running it through his hair.

“you— you deserve someone better than me.” patrick shrugged. and it’s true, you did. you deserved someone with a stable life, who’s parents weren’t just waiting for him to give up and join them in the family business. you deserved someone who didn’t live in their fucking car half the time.

“someone better being a man i hardly know.”

patrick’s mouth moved faster than his brain.

“you’ll learn to love him.”

you stare at him shocked. “you sound like my mother.”

the brunette winces but doesn’t say anything. it’s silent as you guys sit there watching the movie but not paying attention before you speak again.

“i deserved you.”

patrick scoffed, shaking his head. “you don’t believe that. you see how i live, paycheck to paycheck. driving around in my broken honda to tennis matches only to lose. you don’t fucking deserve that.”

patrick never thought he was good enough for you not even when he was in his “prime” always thought he was too dumb, too immature, too reckless for you. you who was prefect, never a hair out of place, or a wrinkle in sight.

“you deserve someone who can take care of you, who won’t drag you down. you’re use to a certain way of living and being with me at this moment in my life would bore you. you’d grow to hate me.”

you groan. “have you ever thought that maybe i don’t care about that. i have enough money to take care of myself i don’t need a babysitter.” you covered your face with your hands taking a deep breath. “this probably stupid to say before my wedding but fuck it.” you look him right in the eye.

“patrick i’d live in your smelly honda for the rest of life if it ment being with you. your not the brightest but there’s no way you missed all the years i spent absolutely pinning after you. i love you patrick i’ve loved you since the day i met you in that damn coat closet when you were hiding from your parents and i’m gonna keep loving you.” the tears in your eyes fall slowly down cheeks.

patrick took forever to respond and it had you thinking the worst. he didn’t need to say it you already knew he was gonna reject you.

you scoff a laugh. “i’m so stupid.” you whisper to yourself, moving to get out of the bed and forget this ever happened. but before you could make it fully out patrick’s hand took hold of your wrist yanking you softly in to his embrace.

your lips met patrick’s halfway in a kiss the both of you have been dreaming of for far too long. it started out soft, patrick wanted to take his time molding his lips against yours but you needed him. you snake your hands into his curly hair and pulling him closer to you, dragging his body down on top of yours.

patrick’s body fitted itself in between your legs, one of his hands coming to rest on your hip.

“push me away, tell me to stop.” he said, against the skin of your neck as he tracked kisses down your sternum, bunching your dress up and places them on your stomach. you shook your head, arching up into the touch. “no.” you sucked in a breath when his lips brushes against the waistline of your panties. “i want you. i want you. i want you. i want you.” your chanting turned to moaning when patrick’s face disappeared between your legs.

-

come morning you were gone, the only evidence of you being there was a slight dent in the empty pillow next to patrick’s, and the dull ache on his back that your nails left behind.

“shit.”

his head hurt from his mini hangover and from the knowledge that in a few short hours he’d lose you forever.

he needed to drag himself out of bed and in to the shower then head over to the reception just so see you before you said i do.

-

as much as you had wanted to stay in patrick’s bed and wake up to him you knew you couldn’t. you had a responsibility.

“you look so beautiful, my dear.”

your mother rested her hands on your bare shoulders, placing her smiling face next to yours. your cheeks nearly touching as she looked at you through the mirror. “though i do wish you picked the other dress.”

there it was.

you let out a sigh standing up for vanity. “well, this was the dress i choose can’t you just be happy with that.” your mother came close to you reaching her hand up to yank out a little fly away hair from your scalp. “the other dress was better.” you rolled your eyes when she turned her back to you checking her watch.

“it almost time. remember all you have to do is walk down the aisle and say i do. think you can do that?”

you wanted to say no, you wanted to take off this dress and get out of this stuff room. but instead you bite the inside of your cheek and gave a short nod. she walked to door, opening it before turning back to you for one last piece of advice.

“and don’t forget to smile.”

when the door shut you let out breath you didn’t even know you holding in. you paced back and fourth, the skirt of your dress flowing around you. the door to your dressing room opened causing you to groan expecting to be faced with your mother not a certain brown haired boy you left stranded this morning.

“hey.”

“hi.”

“your dress is nice.”

“thanks.”

you guys stood there staring at each other awkwardly. you didn’t know what to say, patrick was scared to say what he wanted to say.

“so you’re still gonna do this, still gonna get married.” patrick’s question broke the silence. you sighed again for the hundredth time today. “yes, patrick i am. i’ve tried and there’s only so much i can do.” it was taking everything in you to hold back your tears and patrick’s sad puppy like stare wasn’t helping.

“don’t do this.” patrick stepped closer to you grabbing your hands. “please don’t do this.” you let go of hands and threw you arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

“thanks for last night, pat.”

patrick buried his face into the crook of you neck, breathing your scent in. his hands flexed against your lower back pushing you closers.

a knock at the door tore you two apart. you gave patrick one last look before leaving there. again.

-

the wedding march plays when you enter the room. everyone standing up from their seats. the two little flower girls skip ahead of you, dropping white rose petals in their wake. multiple pairs of eyes are on you, watching as you walk down the long aisle with your arm linked with your fathers. when you reach the end you hand off your flowers to your mother, place a kiss on your father’s cheek, before taking place in front of your husband to be.

“dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”

patrick kinda blacked out the first half of the ceremony. the second you walked out nothing else seemed to matter. you were practically glowing under all the lights, thought the glow didn’t quite reach your eyes. the priest next words seemed to break patrick out of his hypnosis.

“speak now or forever hold your peace” there was a pause, no one in the audience stood up prompting the priest to continue.

“wait, i object.” patrick shot up out of his seat causing everyone to turn and look at him. “patrick!” he ignored his mothers sharp call of his name, moving out of the pews to stand in the middle of the aisle.

“i object.” he this time with more confidence. “you were right last night. you don’t deserve this sham of a marriage. you don’t deserve to get married to guy you’ve known for four months and who makes you wear flats on your wedding day so you don’t appear taller.”

you stifled a laugh.

“i know my life right now is kinda shit, and i was trying to be selfless by letting you go, but fuck it. i love you, i love you so much. so, leave that loser and come with me.” patrick held his hand out.

you didn’t need to think twice before pulling off the ring on your finger and dropping in the hand of the man in front of you.

“what do you think you’re doing.” your mother stopped you half way down the stairs. you looked at her sighed. “something for myself.” you pushed past her, running a little to reach patrick. your hands found each other’s, fingers interlocking as you walked out the reception leaving behind all the confused murmuring.

-

“that would have been really embarrassing if you hadn’t come with me.” patrick joked, grabbing his keys from the valet. “let’s get out of here i’m starving.”

“patrick.”

he stopped and turn to look at you. you reaching forward, your hands grabbing onto his cheeks pulling him in for a kiss.

“i love you.”

patrick couldn’t help the blush and smile that crept onto his face. he took hold of your hands leading you to the passengers seat opening the door for you.

“your chariot my lady.”

you hopped into the passengers seat and patrick slid into the drivers, starting the car and driving away from the dramatic scene he just caused.

-

[eunandonly]

exhibit a : you

୨୧ ; you and riki, on a date solving murder cases gone cold? that’s going to end in another murder!

pairing! criminaljusticemajor!riki x criminologymajor!reader | wc. 0.9k | warnings: atempted humour, incorrect law and forensic terms, homicide mentions EN-

🖇️ : riki version finally!! sorry it took so long ㅜㅜ

riki has been majoring in criminal justice for some time now

you two never really talked properly, most of your conversations were trivial things like “can i borrow your pencil” or “when does this lecture end”

you never expected your first proper conversation with him to be an argument about who can solve a cold case faster

"of course i can solve it the fastest, what are you talking about, y/n?"

that just pisses you off bc who does he think he is

let's be so fr why is he so full of himself?

you had just been listening in on his conversation about a case study and you couldn't help but jump in

and riki had the audacity to mock you

"you're really going to stick with that theory? it's clearly wrong- come on, even i know that."

you were ready to bash his pretty little face in

bc your theory about the jane doe case is definitely right dafuq.

the time window, the evidence, the interview transcripts... it all fits your narrative

and the more you and riki discuss the case, the more convinced riki is that your theory MIGHT be right

of course he won't admit that though

but when you start talking about livor mortis he can't help but stare at you with hearts in his eyes

like DAMN he loves girls who recite shit like that as if it's the alphabet

one day you're just packing up your bag to leave after a lecture when riki comes over

"hey, you wanna study with me this evening? get some work done on the cold case project?"

riki's tryna be all nonchalant but he's screaming inside PLEASE SAY YES PLEASE SAY YES

you say yes.

you two meet at riki’s dorm room and tbh it’s kinda messy in there

i imagine criminology major riki to have lots of books regarding criminal law and stuff lying about everywhere and js have a lot of stuff in general

like the only place that’s not covered by some book or paper of some sort is the bed because he needs sleep (but he stays up till 5am anyways)

he probably listens to true crime podcasts all night

riki and you start get into your work right away but both of you keep getting carried away bickering

don’t worry it’s just playful banter ☺️

“i said stfu his rigor mortis had only started on the head and neck of the body but livor mortis had fully set- that's just says that someone manipulated the factors”

you’re just sitting on his bed pointing at the case file and trying to prove your point

riki’s smart but dense at the same time

you both have some genuinely concerning conversation starters

“oh yeah so this girl apparently got burned alive on a wooden pole outside a school campus!”

"do you think the car air conditioner will be cold enough to use during the winter when trying to onset rigor mortis of the body?"

"if someone dug up a already dead body murdered by someone else and re-buried it to hide it from the officials, what charges would they get?"

you guys say it so casually too like you're discussing what to have for dinner

you always thought riki was cool and had a little liking for him but working on a project together and really made the feelings more intense

sure he’s an annoying little menace who’s way too stubborn

but he’s smart. and he’s pretty.

you really are going to bash his pretty face in one day.

even when you two are not working on the project you two meet up in each other’s dorm rooms to play games, talk, etc

like you two make plans to meet up at your room to play fortnite (you carry his ass through the game)

oh but he won't admit that

i feel like riki would prefer staying in for these types of activities

you know those little packages of fake crime cases you can buy to investigate and stuff?

that's what you and riki do on friday nights except it's not a fake crime

it's all real

you guys research serial murder cases, disappearances that went cold YEARS ago, heists... the list just goes on and on

yeah but these little dates are probably going to become a homicide case itself

no bc why is riki not shutting up his narrative is so wrong

he ends up confessing to you at the end of the month after both of you submitted the most beautiful thesis on a double homicide case

you got lots of help from riki on the criminal law aspects of it and you helped him with the profiling and forensics part

"no y/n, he would be charged for perverting the course of justice, what are you on?"

“riki, stop being such a dumbass. the offender and the victim had no connection whatsoever.”

riki was so scared to confess to you, he was overthinking for days straight instead of sleeping at night

so for your first date you just have him come over to your dorm and make a murder board with you

not exactly a common first date activity but both of you have fun with red string and evidence so it’s fine

you and riki later on create your own true crime podcast except you're not just talking about the crime

you're both solving them (agggtm anyone?)

i'd like to think that you and riki's podcasts went viral and everyone gushing over you two

you and riki just make a really cute couple

[newtonsheffield]

Thats the point of the dress Edwina shes seducing you to lower your anxiety

Edwina’s sort of a hit anyway. Despite what Josie would have Edwina believe: a lot of people know who she is. A lot of people are fans of her music. Even the guy that had had josie murmuring in her ear when he approached.

“Eddie I love you, but please don’t say anything insane to this guy.”

Turns back to them after he turned to leave, clearing his throat.

“I’m so sorry, I know you’re probably trying to enjoy your night but I promised my teenage daughter if you were here tonight I’d ask you for your autograph.” He awkwardly fumbled in his jacket for a CD and a marker while Josie gaped at him.

“Yes, yeah. Absolutely.” Edwina took it from him. “What’s her name?”

“Jane.”

“Jane,” Edwina hummed, scribbling a quick message. “Pretty name. How about we ask Josie very nicely and she takes a photo of the two of us for Jane.”

Josie looked thoroughly shocked as she took his phone and snapped a photo of the two of them, his usually stern demeanor changed.

“Thank you! Ah she’s going to be so excited!”

“Happy to help.”

Josie stared after him. “I have… never seen him smile before.”

“Well, I am a miracle.”

“I’m definitely getting under that skirt on the way home.”

“Keep it in your pants, Josie.”

[loveswrites]

Omg I loved ur poly volturi!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm pleading for more!

Uno~ Poly Volturi x reader

Time it took me: I can't even tell you that hell a month? 26 days?

Word count: 1454

To lovely anon: I so happy you loved it! Sorry I took so long I'm trying to get back into my self! Your guys asks always make my day! Just cause I haven't answered doesn't mean That I haven't seen it! I love just about everyone that comes in! <3

Enjoy!

Poly Volturi x Reader

"That's just stupid." Alec said huffing looking at the table in distaste.

"You have to draw four. That's the rules." You Said shrugging.

You, Alec, Jane, Felix and Demetri were currently playing Uno. It took a while convincing everyone to play. Sure you live in a huge castle with the love of your lives but you are still human. You get bored. While Felix was down to play immediately the others were disinterested in playing with you. You got responses like "That's foolish, I have much better things to do, my love." From Caius.

A simple "No." From Jane.

"I'm sorry but I'm busy right now, beautiful." From Demetri.

"It sounds like a waste of time." From Alec.

You even asked Aro and Marcus. Marcus just straight up said he was too old for that shit in so many words. And Aro said he was too hungry to play games but maybe later. 

All the rejection from everyone put you in a sad mood. It's not like you could have friends in the Castle that wouldn't eat you the moment you get a paper cut. The receptionist is a bitch. And there aren't any more humans you have access to. So the fact that everyone said no you were distant with everyone. They all noticed.

You stopped going to trails with Caius. You stopped attempting to give Jane love. You stopped asking Alec to use his powers so you'd be entertained by the dark fog. You stopped asking Felix for piggyback rides. You stopped attempting to play hide and seek with Demetri. 

It had been days since you spoke more than 2 words at a time to any of them. You knew it was affecting them because of the tension that rested upon the castle in a thick fog. They were quick to temper. Quicker than normal that is. And that's saying a lot. 

Marcus had asked you why you hadn't been to any of the trials lately. As it happened to be one of your favorite parts of the day. "I just haven't been in the mood." You told him. He's been on this godforsaken earth way too long to be able to know when to call bullshit. But nonetheless the less he let it go. 

After that you noticed that your love's would attempt to talk to you more. Not just brushing it off as human attitude as Caius would call it. It was small talk but it was an effort.

"Yes I'm fine Demetrius stop asking me." You huffed slightly irritated.

"Did you eat today?" He questioned a little squint in his eyes.

"Yes I eat everyday." You rolled your eyes, gathering the book you were reading from the cold castle floor you were sitting on.

There was the random corner in the Castle that you would just sit in and watch as people- vampires walked through the halls. It had a lot of traffic coming through it which was what you loved. Cauis had offered to have something built for you so you wouldn't have to sit on the floor all the time. But you would always shake your head and tell him "No, just keep it clean for me please." And so he did.

"I fed today. The humans blood was a bit bitter but nonetheless tasty." Demetrius said following you in your attempts to run away from the conversation. 

"You sound like a child."

"And yet here you are acting like one." He snapped.

"I'm sorry?" You said, stopping in your tracks turning to face him.

"You've had this horrible attitude for almost a week for the stupidest thing!" He stated staring at you with his sharp eyes.

"I have not!" You said in attempts to defend yourself.

"Yes you have, don't bother denying it, the whole castle can smell it!" He yelled.

"The lies you tell!" You practically screamed upset you were getting called out.

"Oh really?" Demetrius questioned before you could even blink he had grabbed you by your waist and next you knew you were in a room full of all your mates.

Once you finally felt your two feet touch the ground you couldn't help but get angry. 

"What the fuck is this an intervention?!" You screamed. 

“If that’s what you want to call it, then so be it.” Jane said in a straightforward tone.

“Oh my god what do you guys want?! I just want to be left alone but you all keep bothering me!” You yelled.

“Us bothering you? You were practically begging for attention a couple of days ago now you want to be left alone? Foolish!” Caius yelled, taking you back a bit.

He would yell but he would refrain from yelling at you the best he could. So him yelling at you right now kinda shocked you.

“You wanted to play that card game the other day right? That was when you started acting like such a brat, so we're going to fix that and play it.” Alec stated holding his head high.

“No thanks, I'm good on that.” You said going to turn around to walk away.

“Sit down!” Your mates yelled collectively making you stop in your tracks.

“Sit down please, I’ll shuffle the cards to start.” Felix said in a softer tone.

That was about an hour ago. To not even wanna be sitting here right now it was quite entertaining watching your mates fight with each other about the fact that another was kicking the others ass. 

“I will do no such thing. I've drawn four four times!” Alec yelled, upset he was losing.

“It’s the rules of the game you have to Alec.” Jane said, rolling her eyes at her brother's temper. She was just happy she was winning. For now..

You were all sitting at a grand dining room table. Well Alec, Jane, Felix, Caius and Demtruis were. You were actually sitting on the table. Caius put you up there in attempts to make it harder for you to run away if you tried. 

You did.

You almost hit your head on the way down. 

“I don’t see the appeal of such a game, the cards don’t make sense.” Cauis said busy reading the rules that were on the back of the box.

“Don’t look at my hand! That’s an immature thing to do!” Dem yelled at Felix who kept leaning over to see what cards Dem had in his hand.

You had won the first round so you were busy spectating.

“Immature!? It’s not like we're taking a test!” Felix yelled back, plopping down in his seat.

“You're trying to cheat!” Dem yelled back furrowing his eyebrows.

“Cheat?! I am no cheater! Tell him Amore mio!” Felix said, turning to face you.

“You were cheating, I saw you.” You said blandly.

“Your human eyes don’t under the actions of mine-”

“Her human eyes are perfectly fine!” Dem yelled coming to your defense.

Tuning yourself out of the conversation-well the constant bickering. You found yourself just watching your mates. All were yelling or frowning about something but you couldn’t help the smile that came to your face. Neither of them could stand human games. They hated it with the most of them. Minus video games Alec, Felix and Dem said that those don’t count. Though you always tell them they do, they insist that they don’t. A fight you could never win. 

All of your mates came together to do one simple thing that you’ve wanted to do for months. Once they saw how much the disconnection to just one human thing hurt you, They came together to try to make you feel wanted and seen. Though they can’t see the appeal at all there trying for you. And that’s all you could ever ask for. 

“That’s not four Alec!” You yelled when you saw him try to cheat his way into just grabbing two cards.

“Oh come on! I’m never going to win!” Alec yelled back.

“Not my problem.”

“Maybe winning is just not in your line of blood.” Cauis said with a slight smirk. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Jane and Alec said at the same time turning their sharp red eyes at Caius.

“I mean-”

“Nope! Nope! Draw two more cards Alec I’ll help you win!” You rushed out attempting to try to keep the peace. Well as much peace as it was going to get in the room.

“That’s not fair!”

“I need help as well, I deserve it!”

“So were picking favorites now?!”

“Felix, stop looking at my cards!”

“You can’t pick sides!”

You can’t even lie to yourself you had missed them so much. And the smile on your face told no lies.

[tgmsunmontue]

Peer reviewed

3k Hangster (one-shot). Mature (to explicit maybe?)

Secretly married Hangster in an academic environment. Outsider POV then Hangster back and forth with a 5+1 feel (“feel” because it’s a 9+1). This was inspired by one of the academics I manage/work with who came into my office and declared “I haven’t spoken to him in three years and I’m not about to start now!” and I just sat there and went… why are you so proud of being apparently incapable of being baseline professional with a colleague?

…            …            …

FIRST TIME

                “Oh my god! Have you heard what’s happening down in the engineering staff offices?”

                “They haven't set fire to the place again have they?”

                “That was one time. But no, two of our new staff have arrived and it sounds like they’ve about to have a brawl in the corridor.”

                “Seriously?”

                “Yeah! Want to go walk past under the premise of getting a coffee?”

                “Definitely.”

                Jane and Sarah stand and watch. Professor Bradshaw and Professor Seresin are standing almost nose-to-nose, nostrils flaring, eyes flashing in anger and any second one of them is just going to push the other, and the other is then going to be justified in taking a swing. Sarah can see it all playing out in her minds’ eye and she wonders exactly what has set them off. She wonders if this would be a new record for HR, for people to get fired before they even officially start. Because physical altercations are definitely a firable offense, she knows because it’s happened before.

                And they’ve put so much work in finding these professors. They had met them both when they came for their interviews, about a week apart. She’d had to shmooze and try to sell the University and location just as much as the job. Their school might not have big student numbers, but their research is world class and both Seresin and Bradshaw bring a lot to the table in terms of research capabilities and student supervision and mentorship. Now if they could just get along with each other.

                Then Professor Seresin says something under his breath, too quiet for anyone else to hear, but Professor Bradshaw goes bright red, shoves Professor Seresin and stalks off, so it can’t have been anything good.

                Okay then.

                Maybe they shouldn’t have placed the new guys in offices side-by-side thinking they might get on with one another.

…            …            …

                “Do you feel better for a nap?”

                “Fuck you… but yes. And I’m sorry I lost my temper. I was just tired and –”

                “Hungry and stressed and jetlagged. Yeah babe, I know. Thanks for taking over…”

                “You’re welcome. Although I think everyone assumes we hate each other.”

                “Oh. That’s…”

                “Well, we weren’t going to advertise the fact we’re married.”

                “No. But… to have everyone think we hate each other?”

                “What? It’ll just be like when we started dating… everyone getting sick of our shit and wanting to bang out heads together.”

                “Jake… we were post-docs then. We’re professionals now.”

                “Speak for yourself. I plan on pretending we’re holding a grudge about who got the better office.”

                “Jake, you got the better office.”

                “And you can hold a grudge better than anyone I know. So it works perfectly. Also you’re going to spend more time in the workshop or lab and I spend more time in the front of fucking screen running models so it makes sense that I get the nicer office…”

                “You didn’t raise either of those points when we were fighting earlier…”

                “Well, I knew telling you I wanted to fuck you on my brand new desk would shut you up.”

                “You’re lucky I love you.”

---------------------------

SECOND TIME

                It’s a networking event, mainly aimed at making industry partners aware of what research is currently being undertaken and what potential opportunities there are for collaboration. She’s done her best with the program, to ensure Bradley and Jake can avoid each other. Bradley presented first and Jake is almost last. They’re both on a first name basis with her now after the months of working together, she’s helped them both with different aspects of moving to another country however she notes that they still refer to each other by last names. They’re the only ones to still do that.

                On top of that Bradley seems to be trying to maybe kill Jake with the power of his mind, staring at him with heated intensity like his mere presence is an affront to Bradley somehow. She’s noticed his temper gets worse when he’s tired or his blood sugar dips low and has taken to stocking a bowl of candy on her desk, which Bradley seems to take from every afternoon. Maybe she should go and ensure he’s eaten.

…            …            …

                “You’re so good for me baby… way to make a boring work event far more interesting. Thinking about this inside of you all night while you walked around looking so good in your suit. Fuck…”

---------------------------

THIRD TIME

                It’s meant to be a social activity, just a friendly game of badminton or table tennis. Except apparently Bradley and Jake are competitive at even the most benign of social interactions and are currently trying to kill each other using ping pong balls. Other staff are backing away with either fear or simple self-preservation, not wanting to be caught in the cross-fire of whatever this has turned into. The taunts they’re throwing back and forth are a little too barbed to be considered friendly, but not barbed enough to be nasty. Either way, no one seems to be having much fun.

…            …            …

                “Pretty sure we’re not meant to be using the disabled bathroom for sex.”

                “Not my fucking fault you’re so hot I can’t control myself.”

---------------------------

FORTH TIME

                The annual school strategy meeting happens and they just need to keep Bradley and Jake on opposite sides of the room. Her and Jane have got this down to a fine art now, although the idea of trying to keep the two of them in the same room for an entire workday is stretching even their abilities. Fortunately the program leaders for both Jake and Bradley seem to be happy to assist in keeping them separated but also in expediating the material by arranging for half of it to be discussed at a later point. Considering some of the arguing that has already happened it’s a very good thing they don’t have to compete for funding internally.

…            …            …

                “Okay, definitely a benefit of everyone thinking we can’t stand each other, making meetings shorter.”

                “Don’t you feel a little bad that we’re deceiving them?”

                “Did you not hear what I just said?”

---------------------------

FIFTH TIME

                “Professor Bradshaw.”

                “Seresin. What can I help you with?”

                The lack of title is definitely deliberate and if there were guns involved the safety would be off, or the hammer would be getting cocked… Instead Jake is looking amused more than anything else, although there’s a slight hue of pink high on his cheeks which bely his potential anger at the disrespect. It’s not often they’re both in the administration office at the same time, and they’re both gritting their teeth and grimacing. She cannot believe that they’re apparently incapable of being more civil to one another.

                “Just found your phone in the break room and thought I’d bring it up to the office. And here you are…”

                “And here I am…”

                Jake is indeed holding a phone out, pinched between his thumb and forefinger like he might catch something from it. Bradley reaches out a hand to take it and like it’s almost slow motion the phone tumbles from Jake’s fingers just as Bradley is about to take it and it hits the floor.

                “Oops. Sorry. Butter fingers,” Jake says, but he’s smirking and even Sarah is annoyed on Bradley’s behalf. That was clearly deliberate. Bradley is bending to retrieve his phone, rolling his eyes and muttering thanks under his breath, which Sarah decides is far more polite than she’d be.

                “Oh, my pleasure.”

…            …            …

                Jake pushes Bradley up against his office door, locking it and grinning like an idiot as he presses kisses along the curve of Bradley’s jaw.

                “God, you’re such an asshole.”

                “Yeah, but I wanted to see you bend over in those jeans again. Damn Bradley…” Jake says, and he runs a hand over Bradley’s ass again, very appreciative of said ass.

                “Workplace harassment.”

                “You like being harassed by me at work.”

                “Yeah, what do you think that says about my mental state?”

                “That you love me?”

---------------------------

SIXTH TIME

                “Professor Bradshaw won’t be in today. And probably not tomorrow.”

                “Um,” Sarah blinks. “Is he…” Alive? She’s a little scared to ask.

                “He’s got some type of stomach flu, puking and feverish. I said I’d take his classes for him.”

                “That’s… nice of you.”

                “Hmm. I always like it when people owe me favors.”

                Huh. She smiles and nods and decides to send Bradley a message to check in and maybe suggest he doesn’t eat any food that Jake brings him. Just in case.

…            …            …

                “You’re the best.”

                “And you’re adorable.”

                “I’m miserable.”

                “And very adorable with it.”

                “Did you know that Sarah thinks you’re poisoning me?”

                “What? Since when?”

                “She sent me a message saying to be careful about taking anything from you, just in case.”

                Jake rolls his eyes and presses a quick kiss to Bradley’s forehead.

                “If I catch this from you, then you can worry about me poisoning you. But not before then.”

                “Love you too babe.”

---------------------------

SEVENTH TIME

                “I’m really sorry Bradley, it’s just with how late notice it is we can’t find another room anywhere close by. I’ve asked that if another room is made available you’re moved to it immediately.”

                “It’s fine. Really. I don’t mind sharing a room. I promise.”

                “What’s wrong?” Jake asks, coming into the office, and he’s looking at Bradley with narrowed eyes and even when Bradley smiles at Jake all he gets in response is a frown and Bradley simply rolls his eyes, like he finds Jake’s action endearing somehow rather than grossly unprofessional.

                “There weren’t any more rooms available, so I’ve had to place you in the same room. Separate beds though!”

                “I’d rather share with someone I know than a complete stranger,” Bradley says.

                “So I have to put up with him farting and snoring in my room?”

                “Excuse you! Like I don’t have to put up with the same from you!”

                “I’m really sorry Jake, it’s just –”

                “It’s fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It’s not within your control. Bradshaw and I can play nice for a few days I’m sure. Can’t we Bradshaw?”

                “Well, we can certainly try.”

                “That’s the spirit!”

                “We can even share a ride to the airport, seeing as we live in the same apartment building.”

                “Who knows, we might come back best friends.”

                “I think people will just be impressed we both come back alive and don’t kill each other.”

                They walk away in the same direction and Sarah bites a knuckle and looks across at Jane.

                “You know, I think they’re starting to mature. That was almost a civil conversation. They only looked like they wanted to hit each other about half the time…”

…            …            …

                “Yes, hi, we’re here to check in. A room for Jake Seresin and Bradley Bradshaw.”

                “Oh! We’ve actually had a cancellation. There’s another room available. Your assistant was very adamant that if there was a cancellation we moved you to separate rooms.”

     ��          “It’s fine. We’d prefer to share.”

---------------------------

EIGHTH TIME

                “Hi. Can you tell me where to find Professor Seresin’s office?”

                “Aren’t you one of Professor Bradshaw’s students?”

                “Yeah, but he said I’d be best to talk to Professor Seresin, because he knows more.”

                “Really? Hmm. Well, their offices are side by side, so if you’d been looking at the name plates on the doors you would have noticed you had to walk past Professor Seresin’s office to get here.”

                “Oh. Okay then. Thank you.”

                Sarah turns to Jane, eyes wide and disbelieving look on her face.

                “Do you think they’re thawing toward one another?”

                “Who knows? Maybe that conference they both went to forced them to get on?

                Later, when they’re walking back to the office from their lunch break Jake and Bradley are arguing in the corridor and Sarah lets out a sigh and shrugs. Things had been looking so promising.

…            …            …

                “No Bradley, I stand by what I told the student. I do have a better understanding of the measurement and applications for sensors. I build the fucking circuits and run models out my ears before I even reach the build stage.”

                “Yeah, I know you do, but it’s a final year capstone project. Not a Masters or PhD. You’re overthinking it and making it far bigger than it needs to be. You overwhelmed him with your enthusiasm. I wasn’t telling you no, I was just needing you to dial it down.”

                “Oh.”

                “Yeah. I know. Lucky I love you.”

---------------------------

NINTH TIME

                “Oh, they definitely looked like they’d been pushing each other around.”

                “Seriously? At least they’re smart enough to never do it where there are witnesses. Otherwise it would be an HR nightmare. Do you think there’s maybe something more there though?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Well… I got the receipt for the hotel where they stayed, and they ended up staying in the same room. By choice. I know there was an extra room because I phoned up the morning they were meant to be checking in, and there had been a cancellation. But they decided not to use it.”

                “Okay. That is odd.”

                “Plus there was one time I got mail for Jake Seresin-Bradshaw. Do you think they’ve gone and joined forces for some type of research?”

                “More likely gone halves on a subscription of some type. Those things are like, ridiculously expensive. Their research kind of overlaps right? It’s why they knew each other… didn’t they do their undergraduate degrees at the same University?”

…            …            …

                “A love bite Bradley? Really?”

                “Yep. Now you match about half your first-year students.”

                “You’re such an asshole.”

                “Mmm. I do work very hard at it.”

---------------------------

TENTH TIME

                “Jake. Fantastic presentation. Just wondering if I could maybe interest you in a drink?”

                Sarah doesn’t give the person asking much of a chance. Jake is always so very calm and aloof at these types of events, perfectly pleasant and professional for the most part. Except when it comes to Bradley, although it’s been a couple of years now and their banter back-and-forth could almost be classified as friendly.

                “A drink to talk about a potential professional partnership?” Jake asks, smile bland and not reaching his eyes.

                “Well, no,” their voice drops lower. “More a potential personal relationship…?”

                “I think my husband might have something to say about that, and also I'm not at all interested.”

                What the actual fuck Sarah thinks to herself. Since when has Jake been married? And to declare it quite loudly in a room full means there’s no back tracking.

                “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize you were… unavailable. You’ve never mentioned a husband before.”

                “No, I haven’t. But we have been married for coming up to five years.”

                Five years!!! Sarah thinks to herself.

                “You called?” Bradley asks, voice dry and Sarah cannot fucking believe it.

                “Hi. Yes. I did. Ready to go home?”

                “Ready when you are.”

                Sarah needs to reassess every time she remembers them interacting, because they’re still looking at each other, but now that she knows they’re married it puts a whole different lens on why that level of intensity might be there in the gaze they’re sharing.

                Oh.

                They’ve been eye-fucking each other.

                During meetings, events, social get togethers… when they’ve been pushing each other around.

                Oh.

                Right.

                Good for them.

…            …            …

                “What made you decide to declare our matrimonial state tonight?” Bradley asks, and it’s a struggle to talk, Jake’s mouth on his neck sucking, biting and kissing. His fingers have already undone the buttons of Bradley’s shirt and pushed it off, now working on his belt.

                “Novelty had worn off. I want the novelty of being able to hold your hand, or kiss you if I want to or…”

                “Or simply say we’re married?”

                “Yeah. That too.”

THE END