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felibrary · 8 months ago

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wish you were sober

synopsis: in which you drunkenly confess to aventurine and he doesn’t believe you, rather believing that he’s not worthy, less even deserving of your love. despite that, his insecurity, you're under the belief that aventurine deserves all the love in the world. love - something that you want to introduce to him and show him “what it means to love you.”

pairing: aventurine x reader | wordcount: 2.3k (i’ve gone insane) | content & warnings: hurt/comfort, alcohol; they're both drunk, insecure aventurine, unestablished relationship, they label themself as friends but reader barely knows anything abt him LMFAO, dual pov, DO YALL GET THE REFERENCE IN THE SYNOPSIS LMFAO??, rushed ending icl, half assed-ly proofread; oneshot

a/n: yesterday i listened to wish you were sober by conan gray and was like “damn.. this’d fit sunday” but then i asked azul what he thinks cause i couldn’t decide between su**day and <aventurine3. and they replied with that it’d be so much more angsty with aventurine (okay not quote on quote but you get the msg) and i dislike su**ay anyway!! so boom! (y’all are still getting another sunday fic..yay..ig.....)

tags: beloved @azullumi <3 and @cherieiu (stop punching me)

“i love you.”

your confession doesn't come over as surprising for aventurine, he anticipated it. just like how the ebb awaits the flood, yearning for it but disappearing as soon as it arrives. missing out on each other for just a split second, as the other party sweeps and slips away from the grasp of the other. nevertheless aventurine is glued to his seat on the rich sofa.

colorful poker chips are splattered around the rich mahogany floor tiles, bottles of vodka and wine, some already with their cork removed and empty, others who haven't even been opened yet. a chandelier adorning the ceiling of the big room, its lightbulbs glowing dimly in the caliginous room, illuminating it.

one of the lamps flickers while the others continue to shine brightly - too brightly aventurine thinks, if he were to watch them any longer he’d feel like melting. the closer he got to you the sun, the deeper he'd fall into the bottomless pit he managed to crawl out of.

the room reeks of alcohol. is the temperature rising? he feels like every time the last number on the digital clock changes the warmer it gets. his blond bangs stick to his forehead and beads of sweat are running down his flushed cheeks - that answers his question.

it’s hot - humid even. he's not sure if he's able to bear the heat in this narrow atmosphere any longer. he tries to blow the sweat away by waving at his face with his hand, trying to cool off his face - a futile attempt. god, what's this a/c even good for, if it can't do it's damn job.

he opens his mouth with the intent of wanting to say that you're lying, that you shouldn't say stuff like that when you're drunk and that you'll regret later. but he doesn't, he refrains from doing so. instead he gulps down the words immediately, letter for letter. they're a bitter pillow to swallow. flowing down his throat like the wavering water running down a stream - intoxicating, similar to the alcoholic liquid you've downed.

the blond looks at you through half lidded eyes. you lift yourself off the ground, he takes notice that you have a hard time doing so, legs slightly trembling as you remove them from the floor tiles. (you've always been a lightweight he thinks)

as you make your way over to him, standing up and wanting to sit yourself next to him on the large black leather sofa. you clumsily bump against one of the almost empty shot glasses that still lies on the floor. tripping over the small glass as your foot comes in contact with it. the glass that still contained some of the red wine you've poured in, not too long ago, tumbles as easily as a domino tile, falling upon the smallest touch. making the flimsy piece immediately meet the ground.

it breaks into a few sharp shards and the remaining alcohol starts seeping out of it, staining your once white socks with crimson colored alcohol. “ah m’sorry!” you mumble as you quickly bend down to gingerly pick up the fragments, placing them in the palm of your hand carefully, so that they won't cut you and leave slits.

aventurine takes another peek at you as you tidy up. your face is flushed, your cheeks tinted in a bright red and you let out incoherent sorrys, blabbering incomplete phrases. he wants to tell you that it's alright. that he feels the same and reciprocates yours feelings, that you don't have to apologize and he'll help you.

but he freezes.

the words that he wants to tell you, the ones he's been longing to say don't leave his mouth. neither does he move. instead he coughs, continuing to watch you while you clean up. a tissue has found its way into your right hand, helping you soak up the alcohol. (its his hand that should be intertwined with yours, not the tissue)

his throat hurts.

(he's not in the right mindspace to acknowledge if it's because of you - the unsaid words that he didn't reveal to you yet or because of the alcohol.)

it's dry and lacks any kind of refreshing liquid that'd quench the drought that occurs in his throat. he contemplates, thinking about the choices he has. swallowing down his own spit isn't worth it, it makes his throat burn even more.

he comes to the decision to pour himself another glass of alcohol. (debatably his worst decision until now.)

twirling the almost translucent liquid in his glass, before fully gulping it down in one go. a bit of the alcohol escapes the depths of his mouth, running down his chin and messily staining his porcelain-like skin.

he doesn't like the bitter taste, he can't seem to befriend himself with it. (neither can he befriend him with himself) although it's not the worst, he's just not able to find a reason to like it. after all, after a single sip it starts to sting as it enters his mouth.

the scent isn't great either, it smells strong, too strong for his liking, a scent that reeks of cleaning detergent and not to mention, it prickles on his tongue and burns as it slides down his throat when it makes its way into his blood. but there's one thing aventurine can't deny: it's efficiency.

it fulfills its purpose well making him lightheaded and dizzy, to the point of forgetting everything.

all sounds are drowned out. even the lame pop songs playlist you turned on because you insisted that “it'll set the right mood” is barely audible for him now. his ears hurt hellish, he wants to put his hands over his ears to escape the white noise. the sound that plays in his ears is similar to the one of when an airplane starts boarding - an unpleasant noise.

the only sound that remains for aventurine’s slightly drunk state is your voice. it echoes through his ears. your drunk confession playing over and over in his mind like a broken record, anticipating the day it'll be fixed, so the misery it is in ceases.

his sloppy and sluggish movements - the way his hands tremble as he pours himself another glass, the nervousness that forms inside his body and the blush that spreads as quickly as a wildfire on his cheeks - they're tormenting him, and he blames none other than the alcohol for it.

“a drunk mind speaks a sober heart, drunk words are sober thoughts, when you're drunk you reveal your true desires” his ass. the both of you are just friends. friends that are acquainted through work, nothing more, nothing less. aventurine couldn't bear to lose his only friend, after all he's already lost everything.

(anything he'd never want to lose will eventually be lost. it is as if fate had decided that everything that is worth wanting, everything that he wants to have and keep, will be lost the moment he gets his fingers on it. to aventurine there’s nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life that is full of anguish.)

his father whom he never got to meet, his mother and sister whom he was forced to leave behind and kakavasha, his younger self. all will be lost - everything was lost. if he wasn't careful now, one slip up on the thin ice or feet accidentally trampling over the floor full of eggshells, he'd not only lose himself in the process, but you too. his one and only friend.

crossing this line he set for himself, as he drew it along the earthy ground with his calloused fingers, trembling as they traced over the mud.

walking past the border that was created to keep everything and everyone distant from him, as he stood on the other side turning his back from the world, walking away and waving, to bid his goodbye from them.

the wall he built around him to shield him from the world, protecting everyone from the ugly thing that was kept inside , protecting himself from the people that only want to torment him.

forgetting all of these things, leaving them behind for you would mean showing you who he really was. a frail human being that hides himself behind a mask. the theater curtains revealing the person who played the role of the man who had called himself aventurine for the past years. placing him in the spotlight and giving the audience a show they'll never forget, like the fool he is.

aventurine doesn't think that he is loveable, that he's undeserving of love - your love.

you think that aventurine deserves all the love in the world. providing him with said love, embracing him and showing him how pure love can be.

the blond caught your eye right away. he was charming, funny and handsome. aventurine turned into your little work crush, your motivation to convince yourself just to see him.

the road was rocky and full of obstacles, set up by none other than aventurine. it gave you a better perception of who he really was and it intrigued you even more. why does he hide himself away from the world? why does he convince himself to not get anyone close to him even though he longs for the touch of another person? who is aventurine, really?

you can't answer any of these questions and neither are you certain if aventurine really can but that doesn't stop you. you continue to climb up all the way to know who he is, who the person you fell in love with really is.

love, is weird isn't it? it comes in all different shapes and forms.

if someone were to ask you why you like him, you wouldn't know how to answer, because neither do you know.

but nevertheless you still like him. why? how come you like someone that you don't even know, someone that is foreign to you, almost like a stranger. even though the both of you label yourself as “friends.”

you're not sure what the color is that infuses his irises, he keeps them hidden beneath his glasses. despite that, you long to stare into his eyes and let all the plain and dull parts of your life get painted in the same colors of his hues. a color that brings you comfort and cures your sorrow. it's the hues that you want to stare at as you tuck a golden strand of hair behind his ear, in return he grants you a small but genuine smile.

a smile that you want to see more often, one that you want to keep for yourself.

as for his scent, every person has their own unique and special scent. you plead to the gods above that he’ll let you bury your head into the crook of his neck and absorb his smell so it becomes the only scent that lingers around your nose.

there are so many more things that you want to know about him but you're unaware of. one might say that you're odd for liking - no, loving someone that you barely know.

a stranger, a foreign person whom you know little about to almost nothing about, is the person that you love. absurd isn't it? but love is weird, love can be pure and ridiculous, but it can also be painful and heart wrenching. love is a feeling that not only brings joy to oneself but also causes pain. but it's a feeling that you never want to get rid of - not until you introduced aventurine to it. showing him what love has to offer and has in store.

in the iridescent light aventurine remains to look as ethereal as ever. a scent of vodka lingers around aventurines figure, the smell is strong, but you couldn't care less. his hair is disheveled but nevertheless continues to shine in the dazzling light. he lets out a tiring yawn and you couldn't imagine aventurine any more beautiful than in this moment.

vulnerable and for your eyes only. making it unable for you to tear your gaze away from the sight before you.

he's like a shooting star, if you don't continue to watch and follow it and blink, even if it's just for a single moment - it's all over and you'll never see it again.

“stop looking at me like that.” aventurine mumbles quietly, almost whispering. upon hearing that, you make your way over to him, glass shards long forgotten as you place them on the small coffee table in front of the sofa.

your arms reach out to aventurine, clutching your hands on his shoulders. your grip is sluggish but you don't falter and continue to hold him. “like what?” your lips are slightly parted and your gaze is drowsy as you counter aventurine's question with a question of your own.

“like that.” he placed the hand that just rested on his thigh, on your cheek, slightly caressing it. “you're just gonna hurt the both of us if you keep this up any longer.” he's not sure where the boldness came from, he blames it on the alcohol once again; it finally seemed to kick in.

“‘m not lying” you hiccup. tomorrow i’ll tell you how much i love you, no matter if it's once” a cough exits your throat “or a hundred times.” the words that leave your mouth are slurred, they're incoherent and muddled up. your grip on his shoulder weakens, hands slipping off and head falling against his chest.

..did you seriously just black out?

aventurine can only sigh at that. a small smile finds its way onto his face. he snakes his arms around you waist, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck and hugging you with the remaining power he had left before falling asleep. guess there'll be a lot to unpack tomorrow but for now he allows himself to indulge in this shared moment between the two of you.

e/n: hope yall enjoyed this as much as i hated writing this!! (i wanted to throw up) i acc hate how i wrote this. it's not as choppy as when i started writing it but it still feels so rushed and so idk.. anyway reblogs with comments are very much appreciated! >< ALSO that one paragraph written in brackets..guess whose speech it was inspired byyyyy (hint: bsd!!)

#toorurs #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail fluff #hsr fluff #hsr aventurine #aventurine hsr #aventurine x reader #aventurine fluff #aventurine angst #aventurine imgines #aventurine headcanons #hsr imagines #honkai star rail imagines #hsr headcanons

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charlesf1leclerc · 1 year ago

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KUWTL

Summary- Indy Jules catches her parents doing something she wasn’t supposed to see

Warnings- Smut, NSFW minors do not interact! Also badly proofread.

It’s currently a Sunday morning and Charles and y/n we’re relishing in the fact that they had a bit of time to themselves as their two daughters were still asleep in bed. Charles and Y/n were currently sat in bed Y/n on top of Charles lap as they measly made out, knowing their time was limited especially with a 6 and 2 year old.

“Your morning breath is so bad this morning” You giggle as Charles looks at you disapprovingly

“Do you want me to stop?” He quirked a eyebrow at you

“No please don’t” you went back Into kissing him running your hands through his hair

“Ok we don’t have much time remove your clothes Leclerc” you humorously demanded

“What happened to the times were we had hours to do all this, didn’t have to rush”

“Well it’s because all those hours are the consequence of why we only have ten to fifteen minutes now” You laughed

Charles and you were both undressed in a hurry.

“Roll over Cherie” Charles encouraged as you got off his lap to lay on your back.

He began to move down the bed but your grabbed his hair

“No no time for that I want us both to get some before the girls wake up no time to waste leclerc!”

“I’m sure we have a little bit of time cmon I know what I’m doing” he winked

“Ok 2 minutes”

“You’re just like the girls, Ms bossy pants” he giggled before getting to work

He definitely knew what he was doing there was no doubt about that, but of course you knew because he was good enough to have two kids with.

“Omg it feels so much better after babies” I moaned

“You saying I wasn’t good before” he removed himself offended

“ babe not this good”

He continued working his lips in all the right spots.

“Mm yeah omg that’s soo good” I moaned

“Still want me to stop after two minutes” he smirked

“Don’t stop please don’t you dare stop”

“That’s what I thought”

Little did you know that in the other room Indy was wide awake and was ready to go have her morning cuddles with her parents like she always does. She removed her sheets and walked out of the bedroom but when she made her way to her parents bedroom door she heard some stars he noises coming from the inside.

“Yes omgg that’s so good”

“YES”

She heard from behind the door. Was mummy hurt? what was happening? she didn’t know what to think after all she was only 6 what was she supposed to think.

She reached up and opened the door to the bedroom

“Mummy why are you screaming?” Indy asked

Charles halted his movements and turned around to see his sweet little daughter standing there.

You and Charles quickly covered your body with the bed sheets.

“Papa why was mamma screaming were you hurting her?” Indy asked coming closer to the bed

Charles reached down to get his boxers and sweats to then come out of the covers while you still sat against the headboard with the sheets to your chest.

“No no baby mammas not hurt don’t worry angle” he spoke crouching down to her level.

“Then why was she yelling?”

“ well you know how mamma loves chocolate cake, we’ll I told her I was going to make it for her tonight for dessert and she got very excited” he explained in the best way he could think of

“YAY chocolate cake” she screeched jumping up and down

“ yes yes now why don’t go you go downstairs and watch some Tv I’ll be down to make breakfast for you a your sister soon”

“ ok papa” she agreed running down stairs

Charles turned around to face where you sat in bed

“ I told you we had to be quick but you didn’t listen’” you spoke up

“Shh Im making you chocolate cake” he rolled his eyes before kissing your lips and going to check on your children

————————————————————————

Hope you all enjoyed even though it’s short pls continue to keep sending in your request for my KUWTL series and my other drivers tysm xx

#charles lecrelc #f1 #formula 1 #charles leclerc x reader #f1 x reader #x reader #arthur leclerc #fanfic #lando norris x reader #smut #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagines #imagines #ollie bearman fluff #ollie bearman #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly

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gor3-hound · 10 months ago

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sneaking out of heaven

ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader

part one, part two

cw: 18+ content, religious guilt, sexually repressed reader, allusions to abusive parents

a/n: i'm soooo nervous about this one lmao... will be smut eventually, but part of is kinda just... setting things up, yay!! not really sure how to tag this part either, so sorry if i missed anything :// title from the waterparks song of the same name <3

word count: 1.3k words

Growing up in the church offered you the only sliver of normalcy in your childhood. Your father, the pastor, was a strict man. He'd always made his expectations of you clear, and you were not one to go against his teachings. After all, his words were the extension of the words of God, as he had made abundantly clear.

You'd never been to a public school, and living in such a small town meant you were not subjected to things that most young girls were. Your father favoured it. This way, he could ensure his daughter stayed free of temptation. That she would be safe under his watchful eye, and never stray from the teachings of God.

Still, in the Church, you felt at home. In God's eyes, all men were created equal. You felt like you had some semblance of free will, less trapped under your father's thumb. As long as you devoted your life to God, you would be safe. He would provide for you, and you'd be able to leave this town.

This did not mean you did not miss the things that most teenagers got to experience. Fiddling around with the computer your dad allowed you for home-schooling purposes and finding incognito mode was something that instantly fed into your curiosity. Your dad couldn't monitor what you were doing, and it made you feel more comfortable to explore.

You never ventured too far, of course. It was as though you felt God Himself would strike you down if you looked at something you shouldn't. No, all you did was watch teen dramas with your volume muted late at night when you knew your father was asleep. You read the subtitles as you watched, fascinated by the idea of partying and going out. Having fun. Being free.

You couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to speak with someone your own age. This town was filled with old folks, and those who had kids all seemed to decide to have them a good ten or so years before or after you were born, so you were left being the only teenager there.

As you got older, the need to spread your wings and leave the nest only grew. Your father got stricter, roped you into more church duties. Anything to keep your curious mind wandering too much.

That was until the Kennedys moved into town.

Along with them came a boy, only a few years older than you. You could feel the tension in your father's body as you stood next to him while greeting them after they attended their first Sunday Mass there.

Their son, Leon, stood behind them looking incredibly uninterested. It was as if your father could sense what the boy would do to your mind, how he'd plague your thoughts late and night when you were all alone. You shook his hand that day, and that contact alone was enough to cause your downfall.

As you lay in bed that night, you felt the devil claw his way into the corner of your mind. He made his home there, filling you with thoughts that left you weak to temptation. As wetness pooled in the gusset of your panties remembering how Leon's hand felt in yours, you sobbed.

You prayed for God's forgiveness when the thoughts subsided. Apologised profusely for even thinking about touching yourself. The next morning, your shower took twice as long. You pretended it was the heat of the summer, but you knew it was your attempt at washing the dirty thoughts from your mind.

Every Sunday, Leon was begrudgingly dragged to church by his parents. And every Sunday, you fall further and further into sin. Until one day, you can't find Leon as you gaze into the pews.

It bothers you more than it should. You should be relieved. If he had convinced his parents to allow him to avoid church, you'd be rid of your temptation. God had heard your prayers, and he had offered you a solution.

You were not so lucky.

As you leave the church, Leon is propped outside against one of the walls. He's smoking, his lips the picture of sin as they wrap around the cigarette while he takes a drag.

His gaze flicks to you, and he tosses it to the floor, stopping it out with the toe of his boot. He grabs your arm, dragging you to the side of your church despite your protests.

“I've seen you watching me.” He says bluntly, but your brain can only focus on the sound of his voice and the way his hand feels as it lingers on your arm. You blink a few times, taking longer than usual to register his words.

“I-I haven't…”

“You have been, though.” He says harshly, brows furrowing like he's ready for a fight. “Think you're better than me? I can feel you judging me, y'know. I didn't want to come to this shitty town. I know I'm not like you.”

Your expression twists into one of confusion. Judging him? If anything, you were the one that deserved to be judged. You shake your head quickly, your heart beating so hard it felt like it would come out of your chest.

“I wasn't… I was just… just curious, that's all.”

He narrows his eyes like he's trying to see if you're lying. After a moment of studying you, he seems pleased enough with your answer and releases your arm.

“Cool. Your dad just really laid it on to my parents. They won't get off my back. Thought he sent you to keep an eye on me or something.” He says with a shrug, his gaze trailing over you.

“I'm not my father.” The words come out more sharp than you intended, and you're instantly scolding yourself mentally for speaking in that way. You take in a deep breath, looking down at the floor before meeting his gaze once more.

“I was wondering if we could be friends?” You ask softly, your voice shaking with slight nerves. Your father would probably crucify you if he knew you were alone with a boy, and here you were trying to bargain more time with him.

“It's just… well, I've never been able to hang around someone my age before, and-”

“Never?” He interrupts, brows furrowing as he looks at you. A small frown tugs at his lips, and you want nothing more than to kiss it away.

You shake your head softly, embarrassment burning in your chest.

“Shit. Does your old man keep you locked up in the church basement or something?” He asks with a laugh that only grows louder when he sees how affronted you are by him cursing.

He's joking, but it's not so far from the truth. You've been tethered to this town since the day you were born, kept on a leash so tight you could feel your airwaves being restricted more and more with every tug made by your father.

“It's just… I've never left this town.” You say quietly, and just like that, Leon's expression softens.

“You don't seem so happy about that.” He replies. The look on your face confirms his suspicions, but you don't say anything in response.

“Hey, well… I'll tell you everything you want to know.” He says with a smile that makes you weak in the knees.

If God created everyone in His image, he must have put a little extra of Himself in Leon Kennedy. You're not entirely convinced you're not in the presence of an angel. Or perhaps a demon sent by the devil to lure you into a life of sin.

You brush the thoughts away quickly. Leon was a human, plain and simple. It didn't matter what he looked like. All men were created equal, you remind yourself. There was nothing wrong with talking to him.

“So we're friends?” You ask hopefully, extending a hand in hopes of making contact with his calloused palms once more.

“Yeah. Friends.”

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy

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httpiastri · 5 months ago

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PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER FOUR (MONACO)

genre: fluff, angst, etc.

warnings: heartbreak as usual

word count: 5.3k (like, exactly 5.3k. on the word. 😭)

author's note: it feels so wrong to say that im posting this to celebrate ollie's graduation to f1 because... this is such a sad chapter.... pain pain pain for everyone involved (especially ollie) 💔 but yay happy ollie f1 announcement day!!! hope you're all doing well & hope you enjoy <3 (also i wrote a lot of this chapter back in february? and proofreading it today nearly brought me to tears bcs of ollie-)

series masterlist

the career of a racing driver is a roller coaster for everyone involved.

if your name is max verstappen, then you've got more ups than most others. that roller coaster seems pretty fun.

but if your name is y/n harper, then your roller coaster isn't as fun these days. but if there’s ever a place to turn things around, it's monaco.

even just the track walk is enough to bring up your mood after a bad week like last. walking along the monegasque streets, almost getting hit by cars as you sign autographs and take pictures with fans... it's an experience you just can't find anywhere else.

coincidentally enough, ollie is done with the track walk just as you are, which means that the two of you can make your way back to the f2 paddock together. your boyfriend has always loved monaco – he pretty much doesn't ever shut up about the track and it's history unless you tape his mouth shut when you're in the country. that's why it's surprising that he not only brings up another subject, but also that he chooses a quite sensitive one – your father.

"he's going to be here this weekend, right?" ollie asks, stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. he seemingly doesn't quite understand just how tense things are with your dad yet. to be fair, it isn't really his fault, since you haven't told him and since he isn't a mind-reader. but still, something in your chest tightens at the way ollie brings him up so casually.

you nod. "you know how much he adores monaco," you say with a sigh, before putting on your best impression of your dad. "the most iconic track ever, the only track to ever... blah blah blah."

having your dad along for races was always a given when you were younger. he was your best helmet carrier, your number-one supporter, and the first person you went to when celebrating or complaining.

but somewhere along the years, having him around started to become more problematic and anxiety-inducing. his support turned into criticism, and it became far more common for him to tell you to "go apologize to the engineers and ask them what you should do to perform better tomorrow" rather than give you any constructive feedback of his own.

at first, it was rough; the man who had always been your pillar to lean on, your main source of support, your safe haven, was seemingly gone. you continued to perform well, though you weren't sure if that was because you wanted to make him proud or if you were terrified of making him disappointed.

"let's have dinner with him someday, then," ollie suggests as the two of you come to a stop right outside the prema garage for the weekend. "maybe sunday, if we have things to celebrate?"

"let's hope so."

pepe calls your name once, twice, thrice, before he resorts to shaking your shoulder gently. his touch, along with the sound of the spaniard's raspy laughter, makes you finally wake from your slumber. you blink up at him, eyes droopy and mind empty. "what?"

"why are you sleeping?" pepe asks, shaking his head. "quali starts in... about an hour."

you begin to slowly push yourself up from the couch you've been lying on, yawning loudly. "i was supposed to just rest my eyes," you start, rubbing your eyes with your hands. "i didn't mean to fall asleep..."

"did you not sleep well last night? were you up late again?" pepe asks as he sits down next to you, watching you stretch your arms over your head with yet another yawn.

what are you supposed to say? yes, i was up until four am because i couldn't find any peace of mind at all? i've been dreading every second of this weekend because i never know when my dad will appear from around the corner? i'm scared he's going to be so mad over my performances that he disowns me?

pepe may know a lot of what's going on with your father, but he doesn't need to know this much.

you did, in fact, meet him earlier today, right before practice – if greeting him briefly and then instantly bolting in the opposite direction counts as a "meeting" – but since then, he's been nowhere to be seen. not even around dino or ollie when you last saw the two of them.

pepe takes your silence as an answer in itself, and he lets out a hum. "well, i'm quite nervous myself," he says frankly, pulling a hand through his hair.

"you did so well here last year, though." you nudge his shoulder with yours. "you'll be great again, i'm sure of it."

"dinner with the prince on sunday? both of us?"

you nod, shooting your friend a smile. "of course." but despite how much you wish it would become a reality, there's not even the slightest trace of faith in you. the only thing you can think about is how likely it is for this round to go in the same footsteps as your recent ones.

a great attitude to bring into a race weekend.

p9.

a top ten placement, sure. second in the reverse grid, sure. but other than that, there's not much positive in it. it's a step in the right direction, but in some way, it feels like a step that's way too short.

the sprint race starts with an incident right by you on the track, which is extremely unlucky for you since you get pretty much blocked and have nowhere to go. after being passed by several cars, the safety car finally comes out, and you find yourself in p7.

of course your father's words echo in your head all the way through the safety car period. "starting p2 means a free podium," he had told you when he stopped by right before you were getting into your car. "don't mess it up."

you're so focused on that expression on his face, the way he tilted his chin up and his head slightly to the side as he spoke, and the way it felt like your heart stopped beating for a few seconds, that you don't even realize that your engineer has told you about the safety car being about to end. you don't even acknowledge the fact that the race leader has taken off, nor that the rest of the field starts pushing again before it's too late.

some blue car tries to overtake you on the outside, and with another car on your inside you have no chance of giving either of them space – and you manage to crash into them both. not only did you ruin your own race, but also two other drivers'.

and of course, one of the cars buried into the wall next to yours is a silver hitech with a big number 17 on it.

climbing out of your car, you can hear several voices calling out for all three of you from the grandstand nearby, and you consider throwing them a wave as you climb through the metal fence to get off the track. but then, you hear one voice that's more familiar – one that belongs to the last person you want to talk to right now. "are you alright?"

you almost don't look at him, but the little glance you shoot him is enough to take in every single bit of disappointment in his eyes. what are the odds that your dad was sitting in the grandstand right where you crashed?

a nod is enough of an answer you reckon, pulling your helmet off your head and beginning to walk the way towards the paddock again. "do you want me to carry that?" your dad asks, having gotten past the security guards after showing his pass, now jogging to catch up with you.

"i'm not ten anymore," you groan. "i can handle it on my own."

"i wasn't saying you can't-" he cuts himself off, placing a hand on your shoulder. "you looked really out of it out there."

you keep your gaze forwards so he won't see you rolling your eyes at his words, determined steps carrying you forward quickly as you shake his hand off. "oh, you could see through my visor? that's cool."

"what's gotten into you lately?" your dad pushes, and you flinch slightly at the harsh tone in his voice. "what's wrong with you?"

"what do you mean?"

"well, frankly, your driving had been shit recently." your eyes snap to him when he speaks, eyebrows furrowed. "it looks like you're not even trying."

you stay silent for a long while, trying to navigate your way back – and to a place where your dad hopefully won't be allowed – but you can't help but scoff. "thank's a lot."

"what? am i wrong?"

"yes, you're wrong!" you finally stop in your tracks, fully facing him by now. a hand goes up to your hair, pulling on it to relieve at least some tension. "i'm trying my best, i-"

"is there something going wrong with ollie?" your jaw drops. "i'll talk to him, i'll settle it with him."

"don't you dare!" you exclaim. "there's nothing wrong with ollie, okay?!"

"then what is wrong with you? why can't you score ten points in nine races?"

that's it – you're going to completely lose it if this goes on for even one more second. "leave me the fuck alone," you tell him, turning your head away so he won't get a chance to see the tears beginning to form in your eyes.

the worst part of it all? the fact that you agree with him. the fact that you can't even argue against it; nine points in five rounds is not a good result at all.

surprisingly enough, he doesn't follow you when you hurry away, allowing you to get to the paddock alone. the silence doesn't mean you can hold back from crying, however; it doesn't take long before your cheeks are stained with your tears, your breaths growing quicker and quicker for every step you take. navigating the paddock with blurry vision is hard, and you're basically just relying on muscle memory to take you back to the right part of the garage. just as you're rounding a corner, you bump into someone – someone whose white suit and broad, muscular shoulders are easy to recognize even through your tears.

the other last person you want to talk to right now.

"hey there," he says, a hand coming up to your shoulder to keep you steady as you stumble a little upon the impact with his chest. "are you- woah, are you crying?"

"leave me alone, paul."

he lets out a little chuckle, one he regrets in hindsight because it makes him sound like he thinks the state you're in is funny. "i can't just walk away when you're this upset, can i?" he asks, having to use all of his willpower to hold back from wiping away a few tears from your cheeks. "is it about the crash? i'm not mad at you, and i don't think victor is either-"

"i couldn't care less about the stupid crash!" you explode, a few sobs following your words. "i'm just- i can't-"

paul's eyes widen in surprise at your outburst, hand on your shoulder slipping further along so he's got his arm draped across your shoulders and it's easier for him to force you to walk with him. now it's your turn to have to hold back, wanting nothing more than to lean into his chest and just let out all of your tears. he pushes you with him into the hitech truck, looking around the lounge area to make sure no one's there before guiding you to sit on one of the sofas there. "what's going on? did something happen?"

"i'm a bad driver, that's what happened." paul slumps into the seat right next to you, eyebrows raised when he hears you speak. "i don't belong here, i don't know what i'm doing, i-"

"hey hey hey," he cuts you off with a shake of his head. "what have we said about this?"

you look down at the floor, wiping away a few tears from your cheek as you continue to sniffle in the silence that fills the area. a burning feeling spreads through your chest at his words, the familiarity of it all making your head spin. it isn't the first time you've been like this in front of him; through the almost entire year you dated, there were quite a few times when he'd have to console you after a breakdown. paul knows your issues like the back of his hand, he knows how hard it can be to convince you that you do belong. but he also knows to never give up.

"you are a great driver," he starts, hesitating for a moment before letting his hand rub your shoulder. the action makes your breath hitch in your throat, but not because it's wrong – it's because you've missed his touch, probably far more than you've admitted to yourself before now.

"even my lousy dad thinks i'm bad," you finally get out in-between sniffles, resting your face in your hands.

"and since when do you care about his opinion, huh?"

he's right. at least partially. but still, you remain hunched over, shaking your head. "i may act like it doesn't matter, but… him calling me all kinds of things…" paul allows you to gather your thoughts, his touch remaining gentle over your racing suit. "it hurt. a lot."

he hums understandingly, letting out a sigh. "when is that stupid little brain of yours going to understand that you're doing well?" his words should bring a smile to your lips – a few months ago, they would've. but now, you don't react at all. "no matter what he says, no matter what the critics say. you're a good driver."

after another few moments of silence, you drop your hands to your lap and look at him. there's a hint of curiousity in his eyes, surprised by your sudden eye contact. "why do you even care?" you question. he's been acting like a complete idiot these past few months – and after you literally cursed him out in melbourne, you haven't spoken a word to each other. and yet, he's taking time out of his day to comfort you like he would a year ago.

"come on…" he presses his lips together in a firm line, shaking his head. "no matter what happens between us, i'll always look after you."

his words, and maybe especially your emotional reaction to them, take you by surprise. despite the anger and frustration you've built up over the last few months, there's an undeniable warmth in his gaze that softens your defenses. the feeling of nostalgia and longing is so strong it's almost painful, as if he has reminded you of a connection you thought had been lost forever.

it's quite strange, considering everything that's happened. but you're not opposed to it.

"how are you feeling after the crash?" paul asks to break the silence as you reach up to dry away the last of your tears from your cheeks. "that was a big impact you had. i got away lightly in comparison."

for the first time since the crash, you stop to actually think about it and allow yourself to feel through your body. the adrenaline from the race has worn off by now, and there's a throbbing in your head that seems to just grow stronger by the second. "i think… i'm alright…"

"do you want me to go get ollie for you? the race should be done by now," he says, checking the clock on the wall in the truck. "he can take you to go see a medic."

you shake your head instantly. "please, don't. for real."

paul shoots you a strange, confused look, though he gives you a slight nod. "okay, but you have to tell him," he says, pausing a second before continuing. "i know that head of yours, you're going to combust if you keep hiding this. you can't go through it alone."

"i promise."

you don't end up going to the medical center.

you do, however, go find ollie yourself – but you don't tell him about your chat with paul. instead, you hope he doesn't take notice of the not-so-subtle signs that you've just had a complete meltdown.

it's easy to break promises to people who you don't need to stay truthful to, you realize. last year, you wouldn't even think about breaking a promise to paul – but an ex boyfriend is much easier to lie to.

your current boyfriend wraps his arms around you the second you step close enough. his lips press to the side of your head, his arms giving you another squeeze before pulling away.

ollie has gotten used to your red eyes.

he's gotten used to the sight of your tearstained cheeks, the slight pout on your lips, the heaviness in your sighs.

he's gotten used to the sinking feeling in his stomach, the pain in his chest, the guilt.

but he's also gotten used to not asking, because he knows you won't tell.

when you wake up on feature race day, something is different. it's like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders after talking to paul; like the air is suddenly much easier to breathe, and the whole world seems a little lighter. you're much more excited for the feature race of the day than any race so far this season.

in today's race, it's ollie's time to crash out. it isn't his fault, though; he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and got squeezed up against the wall by a trident car. there was nothing he could do.

as soon as he's deemed free of injuries, he makes his way back to the prema garage, joining the team in watching the rest of the race. it's a good one for you; choosing to go with the opposite strategy has really worked out for you so far, with you and zak o'sullivan being the only two drivers in the top who haven't pitted yet.

ollie follows your car intently on the screen in the garage, secretly hoping for a safety car to come out and help you out with your strategy as it's nearing the last few laps. he almost doesn't pull out of his trance even when a hand lands on his shoulder. "she's doing great," dino says from behind him, the brit nodding along to his words. "especially considering... well, she must've told you about yesterday, so i won't repeat it to you."

yesterday?

ollie looks dumbfounded for a moment before he composes himself, though he has no idea what the swede is talking about. "of course."

dino lets out a chuckle, patting his friend's shoulder. "paul said she was a complete mess when he found her," he continues, not realizing he's giving ollie more clues to help figure out what in the world he's talking about. "her anxiety was all over the place, apparently. but she's recovering, she's strong. she won't let this affect her."

ollie hums agreeingly at his words, eyes still glued to the tv in front of him. "certainly," he finally gets out. "she'll get through it with ease."

and so you did – at least for this particular race.

the virtual safety car was incredibly lucky, but that's racing sometimes. with both you and zak changing your tyres in the last lap, you both managed to end up ahead of the rest of the field, and secure a podium each.

unlike in jeddah, seeing paul's car pull up right next to yours on parc ferme isn't all that bad. after yesterday's heart-to-heart with him, you feel like at least part of this podium is thanks to him. if it weren't for his encouragement, you likely would've stuck it in the wall again.

you don't ignore him this time. you don't scoff at his words, you don't feel frustrated at his mere presence. this time, you give him a tight hug when he comes over to congratulate you, arms around his shoulders forcing him close.

"thank you," you can't help but whisper, and paul is grinning from ear to ear when he pulls away from the hug.

"don't," he answers with a quick shake of his head. "you could always pull this off. you just needed a little reminder."

and not only do your shoulders and mind feel a bit lighter as you step onto that monaco podium, but most importantly, your heart.

"i'm exhausted," you huff as you shrug your bag off your shoulders, leaving it by the door as ollie, too, makes his way into the hotel room. "thank god this weekend is finally over."

you dive onto his already-made bed, landing face-down between the pillows and blankets. the bed is huge, probably over two meters in width, and unbelievably soft. it's the first time you feel like you can truly relax since you got to monaco, and every single cell in your body thanks you for allowing them to rest a little.

"and i don't even have any sim sessions scheduled in over a week. i'm the luckiest person ever." ollie lets out a chuckle at this, his own bag crashing to the floor with a thud before his feet carry him deeper inside the room.

you turn your head and watch as he picks out a water bottle from the mini fridge, but he doesn't drink from it. instead, he makes his way to the bed, choosing to just stand next to it at first. you can't really read his expression, so you speak up – but he beats you to it. "ollie-"

"can we talk?"

you press your hands into the mattress, sitting up properly. "of course," you say, a look of unknowing dejection spreading across your features. "what's wrong?"

"that's... what i wanted to ask you, actually." ollie finally sits down on the bed, but on the opposite side of it, far from you. "what's going on? what happened yesterday?"

"oh, well..." you pause for a second, eyebrows rising as you try to find an explanation. "i just had a bad day, i didn't realize that the safety car-"

"i don't mean the race, i mean what happened after the race." his eyes are piercing into yours, not missing even the slightest movement of your face now. you've got his full attention. "with paul."

your breath hitches in your throat and you instantly look away. your voice is as low as a whisper when you speak again. "i can't believe he told you..."

"he didn't. it was someone else, but that's beside the point." you don't know if you should feel relieved that paul didn't tell ollie, or furious that he told someone else who then told ollie, but you don't have any time to think before his voice infiltrates your thoughts again. "i heard you were... i'm not going to use the same word he did, but i heard you were really upset. something about anxiety, or..."

he hopes you'll pick up where he trailed off, and despite how you're really not in the mood for this conversation right now, it feels unavoidable. "i guess... yesterday's race was really rough on me. and my racing has felt really bad recently, the anxiety has been through the roof, and..." your eyes land on your hands, watching as your fingers tremble slightly in your lap. "i don't know. something about yesterday just triggered it all again."

out of the corner of your eye, you can see ollie nodding understandingly. "how long have you been feeling like this?"

"since always, basically." a single teardrop rolls down your cheek before you even notice that you've started tearing up. you hurry to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. "my mom likes to tell this story about how i used to cry if i performed poorly when i was jumping rope in kindergarten. or about how one time, i came home sobbing over the fact that i thought i was getting kicked out of kindergarten because my drawings weren't as good as the other kids'." the old stories bring a soft smile to your lips, one that soon disappears when you shake your head and squeeze your eyes shut. "it's not usually this bad, but…"

you sigh.

"it's like... imposter syndrome. i'm one of the very few women in motorsports, and i can't help but think that i'm just here because the fia wants to make the sport more equal. or because my sponsors think it's funny to have a woman among the men. or if i'm just here as eye candy. i don't deserve this, i don't have enough talent."

your little rant makes him speechless – both because he didn't expect it at all, and because to him, you're so wrong.

"you're here because you do deserve it and because you consistently perform good results, unlike most other drivers. that has nothing to do with your gender." ollie pauses for a second. "if you didn't have enough talent, you wouldn't be performing this well in a series this hard."

you can't hold back the little smile that slips onto your lips. "this is all very sweet, and i really appreciate it. but it's not that easy for me to just accept what you're saying."

yet again, he nods. "i understand." his voice is so calm, so gentle, so patient. it makes your heart soften. "i'll make sure to remind you of it more often, so that maybe it sticks."

"thank you, ollie."

a long silence follows, and you take the time to brush away a few more tears that have left your eyes. you don't know what to say or how to follow up on this heavy subject, but you don't have to think much more.

"why did you go to paul instead of me?"

your eyes dart to him at the sudden question. he's sounded so composed and calm, but he actually looks quite... nervous? his fingers are fiddling with the lid of the water bottle in his hands, and his entire upper body looks like it's trembling slightly as he breathes. "i didn't," you tell him simply. it's not a lie, per se. "he just happened to walk in on me crying."

"but why did you tell him?" ollie questions, looking up at you from the bottle. "i thought you two weren't even talking these days? ever since that fight you had?"

he is right. you don't even know why you confided in him yourself – it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. you didn't even try to deny his help; you welcomed it (and him) with open arms.

"we talked about my struggles last year," you finally say, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. "so he knew already. and… i don't know, i guess it felt nice to talk to someone who really knows me."

"but i want to know you." he takes a deep breath before continuing. "i want to know more than your birthday and your favorite color. i want to know it all; what makes you feel good, what makes you anxious, what keeps you going, what slows you down..."

the physical distance between you two may only be a mere two meters, but you feel much more separated than that. you totally understand where he's coming from – he might be exaggerating a little, but your conversations with him are never really deep. though not sure whether it's because you just don't trust him or because you just have a hard time opening up, you can understand the despair he must be feeling.

when ollie notices that you aren't too keen on saying anything, he keeps going. "i want you to trust me. i want to be the person you tell these things to." he scoots closer to you on the bed, one of his hands landing on top of your knee. "i really want to make this work between us. my feelings for you are so strong, just..."

the pain in his eyes is so intense it sends a shiver down your spine, his gaze cutting through you like a knife. your own eyes begin to well up again, but you can't look away now.

"i really want you to give this, give me, a chance."

you've never seen him like this before. hopeless, desperate, practically begging. and in an instant, the guilt comes creeping back into you.

you're the one who's making him feel like this; it's all your fault. and how cruel wouldn't it be to not at least give him an honest chance?

"of course." your voice is weak and shaky, but you nod. "i want that, too. really."

ollie drops his water bottle to the floor before opening his arms wide for you. "come here."

it's easy to climb into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he holds you close. it's easy to lean into him, to inhale his sweet scent, and it's so easy to relax.

you wish it was as easy to open up to him. oh, how badly you wish it was as easy as a-b-c or do-re-mi. you really want to let him in; you, too, want this to work.

the silence that follows is a comfortable one. the air feels thick with unspoken emotions, a heaviness of the previous conversation still lingering, but there's an unspoken understanding between you and ollie. the previously well-known weight of the world on your shoulders seems to lift, if only momentarily; his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back is like a silent reassurance that he's there, he's present, and he's willing to wait for you to open up in your own time.

after what feels like an eternity, ollie breaks the silence. "let's do something. let's go on a vacation together."

you lean back slightly, just enough to look at his face but stay in his hold. "…what?"

your reaction isn't exactly what he had hoped for, but he goes on. "i'm going back to italy this week, you should come with me." he reaches up with a hand to your face, thumb softly massaging away the frown you hadn't even noticed had formed. "we'll travel around, go see the national parks, hike in the mountains... swim in the sea, eat at good italian restaurants..."

your features soften at his suggestions; it all does sound very sweet. still, you can't hold back from asking, "but why?"

"we have almost a month until the next race weekend, and you said that you don't have any sims this week. this could help take your mind off racing, and..." a sheepish smile appears on his face. "maybe it could make us get a little closer."

uncertainties and conflicting thoughts continue to cloud your heart, making the decision harder than it should be. on one hand, accepting the offer could offer a much-needed reprieve from all the pressures of the racing world. on the other hand, your unresolved feelings for paul still hold you back. spending a romantic holiday with ollie sounds like a dream, just as much as the mere thought of revealing yourself to him makes you nauseous from the fear.

but you want to be brave. and maybe to let go of paul, you need to just forget about your worries and dive head-first into ollie.

"it sounds perfect. let's do it."

yourusername just posted!

yourusername we're back baby!! leaving monaco with some good points. 🔜 barcelona and the team's home race, let's go 😁

show all 78 comments

user finally back on the podium! ❤️💙

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user great drive today !!!

→ user it was just luck 😭 without the vsc she would've never gotten that podium

→ user okay and??

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olliebearman what's up with the hair dinobeganovic_

→ yourusername it's called fashion

→ dinobeganovic_ it's called waking up at 5 for a feature race

→ user you're still gorgeous dino 😚

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

redbulljuniorteam 💪💙❤️

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

sebasmontoya58 pepe don't punch the girl, she did nothing wrong

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→ yourusername never

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→ yourusername YOU WOULDNT

→ pepemartiofficial i totally would

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inkandiridescence · 4 days ago

Text

The Start of Something New

This is chapter one of something I've been writing yay

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every year on Oscar Sunday my family and I would make our own pizzas and eat in front of the TV watching our favorite actors win awards.

"You know one day..."

"You're going to be on that stage. We know, you say that every year." My dad says with a teasing grin. I would smile into my bite of pizza before going back to cheering on my favorite film of the year.

This year is different though. This year I'll be ordering my pizza and eating it in my hotel room. This year I'll call my parents and tell them "I told you so."

Sure, I haven't actually been nominated (yet) but presenting an award is pretty cool too. Especially at my age. At first, I was a little upset that my movie hadn't gotten nominated, but it's still an honor to be a part of the show.

I'm smoothing out my dress when I hear a knock on the door. I don't get a word out before my agent rushes into the room.

"Kiddo you look stunning." She says and I smile to myself in the mirror.

"Thank you lucy. I mean I gotta look good, Billie Eilish might be there." I say and shoot her a smirk through the mirror.

"I mean, she probably will be. This is her first-ever nomination." My eyes widened.

"Don't get my hopes up. Dude, imagine she actually wins. I would hand her the award oh my god." Lucy laughs and picks up a necklace.

"That would be a sight to see for sure. Oh, by the way, Matt was looking for you." I roll my eyes.

"He knows I'm getting ready. I told him five thousand times." She laughs before patting my shoulder, "He just wants to make sure you're okay. He really cares about you." She gives my arm a quick squeeze, "Car will be here in ten. Come down soon." I nod and look back toward the mirror.

Matt and I have been dating for almost two years. Our relationship is kind of rocky, to say the least. Sometimes he's really loving and sweet and other times it's like I don't even have a boyfriend. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Everyone would always tell me how they felt when they saw their boyfriend. How giddy and happy they would feel. I don't feel any of that. Even when he's being all lovely. I don't know, maybe there's something wrong with me.

——

As we pull up to the carpet I see the many many flashes of lights. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as it finally hits me. I'm at one of the most prestigious award shows. Holy shit.

Matt grabs my hand and gently squeezes it. I smile and look at him just to see that he's recording it. Again. I pull my hand away and open the car door without waiting on someone to do it.

The cheering gets louder as I step out making me blush. Matt gets out right behind me as we line up to start walking down the carpet.

"Why'd you pull your hand away?" He asks while grabbing my hand again. "I don't want to talk about it right now." I say as Lucy hurries us onto the carpet.

"Alyssa over here!"

"Alyssa! Matt! Look here!"

"Give us a kiss!"

I smile and look at everyone, ignoring the last comment. Not quickly enough, Lucy comes over to take Matt to the end so I can take solo shots.

As soon as I'm finished I take a deep breath and walk over to Lucy and Matt. I grab Matt's hand and walk into the theater. We make our way over to our seats and sit down.

"So, we have time, why'd you take your hand away?" I sigh and face him, "I just hate how you can't be cute or whatever without filming it. Youtube isn't the only thing in the world you know." He rolls his eyes, "Yeah, I know. And acting isn't the only thing in the world." He mumbles under his breath. I take a deep breath not wanting to start an argument now.

——

As the night goes on and awards are collected I grow more and more nervous. I'm backstage waiting for the commercial break to end before I go out to announce the winner of Best Original Song.

I almost shit myself when I hear the voice overhead. "Welcome back to the 94th Academy Awards. Here to announce the nominees for Best Original Song, It's Alyssa Greer." The audience claps as I walk out with a smile and wave. I take a second to admire the audience. I'm standing on the Oscars stage.

"Each of these pieces has powerful and engaging lyrical motifs, combined with dynamic instrumental storytelling that have touched our souls. They created an emotional experience that will remain with us long after the final credits. Here are the nominees for Original Song." I smiled and let out a small breath as the nominees played on the screen behind me. When it got to Billie's name I said a silent prayer that it was her. Suddenly the cameras were back on me.

"And the Oscar goes to...Billie Eilish and Finneas!" I smile. I see her and her brother get up and hug everyone. They make their way up to me and I hand Finneas his award first then Billie hers. She hugs me tightly, "Thank you, baby." My cheeks heat up and I can't stop smiling. Baby? You can't be doing that to be girl, I will go feral.

I had been so caught up in my thoughts and staring like a kid in love at Billie, that I didn't even realize they had finished their speech until I made eye contact with ocean-blue eyes. We walked off together, me trailing slightly behind the siblings.

"Congratulations Billie," I whispered in her direction before quickly making my way back to my seat.

——

The night seemed to drag on. The awards seemed a lot shorter when I was sat comfortably in my own home. But finally, finally, they were over. "Hey, baby we're going to the party right?" Matthew asked. I looked at him confused. "You know, the after-party?"

"Oh. Right. Sure yeah." He nodded his head happily and pulled me out of my seat to go get dressed in something more suitable for a party. I don't even know what I'm to do at this party. I can't legally drink, everyone here is much older and more famous than me. I'm gonna feel so out of place, and it won't help that Matt will just be vlogging everything.

Sighing I put on a tight sparkly top with matching dress pants. I look kinda hot. "Hey Al, you ready?" I hear from the bedroom. "Yup!"

We make our way down to the lobby and out the door into the car. Here we go.

#billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #finneas #matt sturniolo #x reader

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sillygoose067 · 4 months ago

Text

Charles’s Angel(s)

Ch. 44

Charles Leclerc x Reader

The summer heat was beginning to get to you, and you decided to don a pair of palazzo pants and a crop top as you got dressed for your boyfriend’s day out at the golf country club with his friends. Golf really was never your thing, and honestly, it wasn’t Charles’ favorite either, but hey, it made for a good excuse to spend time with friends and family.

Charles steps out of your shared bedroom in a pristine cream polo and a pair of khaki shorts, his favorite sunglasses hanging from the unbuttoned collar of his shirt. “Y/n?”

You turn toward him as you finish gulping down your glass of water. “Ready to go?”

He nods and moves to grab the keys from the bowl on the counter.

"Wait," you stop him. Rushing into the bedroom, you return with your favorite sunscreen. Charles stands still as you apply it all over his face, knowing better than to mess with you and your essential skin-caring steps. "Okay," you breathe. “All done. Now we can go.”

…

Arriving at the venue, you’re immediately greeted by a crowd of photographers and fans. They’d somehow managed to track down the drivers’ whereabouts– Again. Oh well, not much you could do about it now.

Charles gently grabs your hands and helps you out of his car, pressing his lips to your knuckles in a show of open affection, giving the crowd something to watch and making you blush. Some of the girls in the crowd “oohed” and “aahed” and swooned at the action.

Carlos greets you at the entrance of the golfing grounds, Rebecca on his arm. She pulls you off your own boyfriend’s arm and tugs you toward where Kika is seated, a quaint little corner overlooking the grounds where you’d be able to watch over the boys.

Grabbing one of the refreshing drinks set on the little table, you go to take a sip, when suddenly, you’re cut off by the ever-peppy Kika.

“Soooooo, how are things going with Loverboy?” You sputter on your drinks, patting yourself on the head a couple of times out of habit.

“Whatever do you mean?” you smirk back at her playfully. “I should be asking you girls the same thing. I’ve been seeing a lot of things on socials.”

Now it’s their turn to blush.

“Damn, you really didn’t have to throw that on us like that," replies Kika. She and Becca share about how their men have been making sure to give them the princess treatment, and you exhale internally—whew, that was a quick save. You didn't need them to know how you’d gotten railed seven days to Sunday.

…

“Hey Y/n, I’m going on an influencer trip in a few weeks to promote one of the brands that sends me their products. You want to come with?” Kika asks you out of the blue, pulling you out of the trance you’d been in watching Charles play golf.

“Me? Oh, I couldn’t possibly.”

“C’moooon, please? Pierre can’t come with me, and Becca here has another shooting. I don’t want to go alone; it gets so boring, and all I can do is talk to all the other people there who try WAY too hard to get famous. It’s honestly really annoying. Please come? All the expenses are already going to be taken care of, and it’ll be fun.”

You bite your lip in contemplation. “But I’m not even," you gesture to yourself and then to her. “Like, you’re hot. I’m not like you. They probably would just kick me out and think I’m a stalker or something.”

“Who’s not hot?” you hear from behind you, the voice sounding an awful lot like your boyfriend.

“Y/N here says she’s not attractive enough to go on an influencer trip I want her to join me on," sniffs Kika disapprovingly.

“She’ll go.”

“I– I will?”

Charles glares at you pointedly. “Yes.”

“Oh. Why?”

“Because I’m going to talk some sense into you when we get home.”

You let out a breath and turned to Kika and Becca, who have been watching the exchange with interest. “Well, I guess I’m going then?”

Pierre’s girlfriend squeals as she squeezes tightly. “Yay! Okay, I’ll send you all the details as soon as we get out of this heat.”

Rebecca huffs from the side. “Yeah, I don’t know who decided it was a good idea to play an outdoor sport in this heat.”

Both you and Francisca turn to her and glare. “Okay, maybe I DO know. But sometimes, I really question that man’s brain and why I agree to these kinds of things.”

The three of you giggle at that. “Cheers to that.”

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #f1 x reader #fluff #smut #f1 #formula 1 #love #x reader #max verstappen #lando #carlos #alex albon #logan sargeant

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markiemelon · 1 year ago

Text

kiss it better

pure fluff

bf!renjun x gn!reader

—{7:07pm} ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

as much as you adored your boyfriend, renjun, he was a bit of a klutz… your so called ‘dates’ were practically babysitting. thank goodness he has you by his side, otherwise, he might set something on fire.

it was sunday night. it’s typical for you to invite renjun to your apartment so you can keep him from doing anything too stupid. you sat on your bed as you watched renjun sit at the desk in front of you, typing away at an essay due tomorrow. you admired how his pretty hands moved across the keys to make clicks and clacks. the rhythm almost lulled you to sleep, but of course, renjun, who might as well be your child, had something to say.

“done!” the boy said while closing the laptop that gleamed in front of him, darkening the room ever so slightly.

“yay. good job.” you yawned and rubbed your eyes simultaneously.

“now i just need to print it.” he jumped out of his chair. “do you have paper?”

“yes.” you gestured over to your dresser. “it’s in that drawer.”

renjun waltzed over to open the drawer and reached in to grab a sheet of paper.

“ow ow ow” renjun suddenly exclaimed.

“what, what?!” you ran over to the boy.

“paper cut.” he cried over-dramatically.

you slouched a little in relief after remembering that renjun is just a drama queen, and it’s not actually the end of the world.

“yn,” he tried to pout while holding in his laughter, “it really hurts.”

“knock it off renjun.” you scoffed and turned around to walk back to the bed until renjun grabbed your shoulder and pulled you into his chest.

“kiss it better.” he said while pulling you closer.

“renjun. you’re way too old.” you tried to squirm away from his embrace.

“ynnnnnn” he whined. “ow ow owwwwwwww it really hurts.” he tugged on your arm.

you rolled your eyes before picking up his hand and placing a gentle kiss onto the teeniest tiniest cut on his pinky. “there. feel better now?”

“almost.” he replied, now pointing to his cheek, “it hurts here too.”

and so you kissed his cheek softly.

“and here.” this time pointing to his other cheek. then his nose. then his forehead. then his lips. the next thing you know, you’re kissing renjun all over the place.

“there.” you patted his cheeks. “all better now.” turning back to your bed, renjun pulls you in again.

“wait.” he whisperd. “bandaid.”

you slapped his shoulder playfully. “it’s not even bleeding! you can barely see it—”

“owwwwwww” you were cut off by renjun’s whining.

“fine. I’ll go get one.” you brought back a bandaid and wrapped it around renjun’s pinky, placing it over the invisible wound.

“now draw a smiley face on the bandaid.” renjun made yet another request.

you reached for a marker and traced over the surface of the bandage.

“ow that hurts.” he let out a very unnecessary whimper.

“you and i both know that didn’t hurt.” you said.

renjun looked to you and smiled. “it did! so can you at least do one more thing?”

“what, renjun.”

the boy looked down to his hand, and held out his bandaged finger in front of you.

“can you kiss it better?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

thx for reading! pls send requests ! ＾＾

- 🍉

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enmuslullaby · 1 year ago

Note

Could you please make where reader goes off on Sebastian for misgendering grell 🥺 maybe a little spice in it 😊😊

yay, my first request!! hope what I came up with lives up to your expectations! enjoy <3

TW: slight transphobia

“What in the devil are you wearing, Grell?”

It was late Sunday night, and you had decided to take Grell to a fancy French restaurant as a treat for working herself to the bone during the previous week. You had left your date at the dinner table briefly to use the bathroom, and when you returned, this is what met you.

Sebastian Michaelis, hunched over the table. You were pretty sure it was his voice that you heard just now addressing your reaper’s attire. Deciding to watch the interaction from afar, you stalled next to the large potted plant and peered at the two.

“What am I wearing? It’s quite obviously a dress, darling.” Grell beamed, her sharp teeth on full display. She seemed quite satisfied with her outfit of choice. And she should be: the woman looked stunning in that wine-red dress of hers.

Sebastian, however, did not seem as pleased. “Yes, I can see it’s a dress. Something a man such as yourself should not be wearing.”

That was when you chose to intervene. You absolutely hated it when anyone misgendered Grell, and would always defended her and corrected the person whenever it happened. This was one subject that you absolutely refused to back down on. And at this point, you were absolutely sick of seeing this happen to your girlfriend over and over again.

Needless to say, Sebastian was rather surprised when you walked up to the table and exclaimed, “She’s a girl!” Sebastian opened his mouth to respond but you cut him off. “Look, does she not seem feminine to you? She’s very clearly a lovely young lady!” You gesture to Grell’s long silken hair and the short ruffles of her dress. “Please refer to her as a girl from now on.” With that, you paid the bill for the meal and took Grell’s hand to exit the restaurant, leaving Sebastian to stand there awkwardly.

You walked hand-in-hand with Grell down the uneven London sidewalks, silent for a few minutes. A gentle breeze tickled your cheek as you walked.

Then, Grell spoke. “Darling… you didn’t have to yell at Sebastian for calling me a man back there.” she said in a soft voice.

“But I wanted to. I’m sick of people calling you a boy, because you’re not.” you replied, stopping to cup Grell’s cheek in your palm. “You’re my gorgeous queen, you know?”

Grell couldn’t help but smile at these words. “I know. Thank you, my love.”

She slowly leant into your touch until your forehead was touching hers, still smiling gently.

Then she pressed her soft lips against yours. At the taste of Grell’s favorite cherry-flavoured lipstick, you felt yourself melt into her touch. You wrapped your arms around her and pulled her closer, eliciting a gasp of surprise from your red reaper. Grell’s lips parted just enough to let your tongue slip past and run itself over her sharp teeth. A sigh of satisfaction escaped Grell’s throat as you continued to kiss her.

After a while, you pulled back, breathless, to stare at her crystal-like chartreuse eyes. Her cheeks were flushed a sweet shade of pink and her lips moist and ready for another smooch.

But you held back. You took her hand again and pulled her along the sidewalk. “Come on, my queen, we’d better not be late for that show!”

“Ooh, yes, I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world! What was it about again?”

“High school girls having drama with a little bit of murder on the side.” You replied, grinning at Grell.

The red reaper smiled back. “Sounds like exactly my cup of tea.”

You let out a laugh. “That’s exactly why I chose this musical. Now come on!” Picking up your speed, you sprinted down the sidewalk giggling, hand in hand with Grell, ready for your next adventure.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #grell sutcliff #grelle sutcliff #grell x reader #sebastian michaelis

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filthyjoetini · 1 year ago

Text

Love is in the Air(BnB)

a/n: Part 7! Sorry it took me so long..also, this is the last part of this story but there will be an epilogue! Yay! Thank you again to @barfightzanddiscolightz for being so patient with me and your time and effort and friendship, I looove youu. And THANK YOU, my loves, for reading. I never could’ve imagined that this little idea of mine would become this big. I loved receiving your feedback and your messages. Anyway, enjoy!

warnings: just so many emotions. Don’t get whiplash!

wordcount: 5k

part 1 - Friday night - part 2 - Saturday - part 3 - Sunday - part 4 - Monday - part 5 - Tuesday - part 6 - Wednesday - Epilogue

Thursday

Yawning, you toyed with the sausages and baked beans of the full English breakfast that Wesley had treated you to on your final morning at his and Joe’s flat. Occasionally, you’d take a bite of the food in front of you. You hadn’t slept at all last night, too afraid to miss precious time with Joe. The man in question was sitting beside you, silently watching you play with your food, nibbling on a fried mushroom.

Joe had fallen asleep rather quickly after a sweet kiss goodnight and yet another promise that you’d make it work. You guessed that dealing with your doubts must be very exhausting for him, so you decided to just watch him sleep. Occasionally, he would mumble in his sleep and even form fully comprehensible sentences. Some of them were odd and made no sense at all whilst others were just plain out funny. You had to pull yourself together so you wouldn’t laugh out loud. Most of the time, he slept peacefully, and you liked to think that your gentle touch through his hair and comforting back rubs played a role.

Letting out a sigh of defeat, you set down the fork next to your plate and ran both of your hands down your face.

“Everything alright, love?”, asked Wesley, his mouth full of baked beans.

“Yeah…sorry, I’m just not that hungry, but the food is delicious.", you replied apologetically.

Wesley swallowed down his bite of food and smiled at you compassionately. As you looked at his kind face, guilt washed over you because you knew how much effort he had put into the breakfast you had silently watched him prepare. Determined not to disappoint him, you picked up your fork again and forcefully stabbed a whole sausage with it, quickly biting off half of it. Joe raised an eyebrow at you, stifling a laugh, whilst Wesley couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“Hey, you don’t need to force yourself to eat it.”, Wesley explained, still chuckling after you had swallowed your bite of sausage. “If you want, we can pack it into a container so you can take it with you and eat it on the plane.”

You nodded curtly and set down your cutlery once more, pushing your plate away from you and instead picking up your morning tea, gingerly bringing it to your lips.

“OK.”, Wesley announced after he had cleared his plate, rising from the chair. “I have to leave soon…oh come on, love, no, no, no…no sad faces right now.”, he chided you softly when he noticed your teary eyes and downturned lips. Joe immediately leaned over from his chair and placed a gentle kiss to your temple, tenderly resting his hand atop yours, which was now gripping the table’s edge. He soothingly rubbed your hand, trying to get you to relax your grip. Eyes unfocused, you stared blankly at the wall across the table. You weren't ready to say goodbye to Wesley just yet; you needed more time.

Wesley, whose face was now also reflecting sadness, knelt beside you and lightly tapped his finger on your thigh. Slowly, you blinked, refocusing your gaze, and turned to face him. His hand now fully rested on your thigh, gently squeezing it.

“Love, believe me. This is hard for me too.”, he explained, a faint smile gracing his lips. “I mean, I gained a new bestie in a few short days. That doesn't happen often, you know. I’m so very glad I got to meet you, which is why I got you a little something. If you’ll follow me.”

Removing his hand from your thigh, Wesley stood up, extending his hand towards you. You looked at him, then at Joe, who managed to make you let go of the table. Now, your hand was in Joe's, his thumb tenderly caressing the side of yours. When you met his gaze, he nodded softly, released your hand, and got up as well.

“Go on. I’ll take care of the dishes.”, he said, placing another kiss on your temple before starting to clear the table. You slowly rose from your chair, placing your hand in Wesley's open palm. He gently led you out of the kitchen and into the hallway, eventually stopping in front of the commode adorned with the various photographs that hung on the wall above it. Letting go of your hand, he opened the top drawer and pulled out a small envelope. He quickly shut the drawer again and slowly turned to face you, soft smile still playing on his lips as he held out the envelope to you.

“Here, this is for you.”

Gingerly, you took it from his fingers and slowly opened it. Inside were several photographs, which you carefully extracted and examined one by one.

The first one captured the lively night at the pub when you first met Joe and Wesley's friends. It showed you twirling and laughing with Becky and Dan whilst Felix, Jack, and Oliver were pictured behind you, gulping down their pints. Standing out amongst them was Joe, whose eyes were filled with adoration as he watched you. The next photo displayed the group’s broad smiles on the day at the lake, taken by Wesley using his phone’s self-timer. It was a fantastic shot. The third photo depicted you and Joe, cuddled up and sleeping on the sofa. You had been illuminated only by the hallway's ceiling light; the rest of the room shrouded in darkness.

You looked up at Wesley with a raised eyebrow to which he just shrugged and giggled.

“You both looked adorable. I couldn’t resist.”

You playfully shoved his shoulder, then shifted your attention to the last photograph. It captured Joe and you in a tight embrace at the pub the previous night, your heads resting on each other, as you were swaying gently. Somehow, Wesley had managed to capture just the two of you, with everyone else vanishing from around you.

You stared at the picture for what felt like an eternity when you noticed a few droplets forming on its glossy surface. Gingerly, you brought your free hand to your face, tracing the stream of tears with your fingertips. Wesley, who had been watching you intently, now engulfed you in his arms, holding you close to his chest.

A faint sob escaped your body and Wesley tried to calm you down, gently rubbing your back and shushing you softly.

“Tha-ha-nk yo-uh-hu…I’m…go-ho-nna mi-hi-ss you so-ho mu-hu-hu-huuuch.”, you cried into his chest, and he let you, continuing to stroke your back. You had tried so hard not to cry but to you, goodbyes were one of the worst things to go through and always resulted in you breaking out in tears.

Once your sobs had somewhat subsided, Wesley released his embrace and took the photos from your hand, returning them to the envelope. He placed it on the commode, then took your hands in his.

With tear-streaked cheeks, you finally looked up at him, noticing the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, which he managed to hold back. You silently wished you were as strong as him but here you were, a blubbering mess instead.

“You’re very welcome.”, he replied, swallowing hard. “I’m gonna miss you too…so much.” He turned to face the wall above the commode and spoke again. “By the way, I made copies of the pictures…well only of three of them…I can’t hang the one of you lovebirds on the sofa on the wall for everyone to see. It's a bit too intimate.”

Following his gaze, you saw three new additions to the photo wall. Sniffling, you let out a choked laugh at his reasoning, understanding the significance. It was an incredibly personal moment, and you were grateful he had captured it, even if Joe and you had been oblivious to it.

“There it is…”, Wesley smiled and hugged you once more. “I’m gonna miss that smile… can I share one more secret with you?

You nodded softly, and Wesley brought his lips to your ear.

"My loneliness wasn't the only reason I rented out Joe's room.", he confessed, prompting you to lean back and look at him, eyebrows furrowed.

"Don't give me that look. It's not that bad... well, maybe it is a little bad, but hear me out, okay? So, yes, I was feeling lonely, but the money thing was a complete lie. I'm not struggling financially. The truth is, Joe has been miserable in his love life for a while. His dates never end the way he hopes. Most women figured out who he was and only wanted one thing from him. Sure, he had his fair share of flings, but as his best mate, I knew he wanted something more serious. I tried to help him, set him up on more dates, and we even tried countless dating apps. Nothing worked. Eventually, he gave up.”, he explained as you stood there, still in his embrace, shocked and feeling sorry for Joe. You couldn't imagine how challenging it must have been for him, knowing that women were only interested because of his newfound fame.

“So, you listed the room on AirBnB? Out of all places?”, you asked incredulously.

“Yes. I mean. I had a plan. Besides, I received numerous inquiries. I went through all of them, and then I saw you, and it felt perfect."

“Jesus Christ, Wesley.”, you scolded, wriggling out of his arms. “This could have gone in a completely different direction, you know."

“But it didn’t.”, he replied, sporting a smug grin.

“No, it didn’t…which is crazy.”, you agreed.

“Look, I noticed Joe's interest after your brief interaction the night you met. I just had to work my magic."

You rolled your eyes at him and eventually pulled him into your arms, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure.”, he retorted, returning your hug. "Just one thing, don't say a word to Joe about this, or he'll tear me a new arsehole.

“OK. I won’t tell him. But you definitely deserve a new one.”, you giggled softly, releasing a deep sigh.

Wesley let go of you and clapped his hands together.

“I’m really sorry, love. But I have to get going. My boss won't be pleased if I'm late for work again.”, he pouted, beckoning you into one more hug.

“I’m gonna miss you, Wes.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, love. Have a safe flight, and text me once you've landed.”

You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes once more, but Wesley shook his head, planting a tender kiss on your now dried cheek, then releasing you for the final time.

“Take care.”

“You too.”

---

After Wesley had closed the door behind him, Joe enveloped you in an embrace from behind, and you leaned back into his chest.

“Are you alright?”

“Not really.”, you confessed, and he nodded, planting a gentle kiss on the top of your head. You both stood there for a few minutes, motionless, until you finally spoke up.

“I have to finish packing my things.”

Joe nodded and hesitantly let go of you, taking your hand and leading you into his bedroom where your open suitcase and backpack were on the floor. Sighing, you eyed them warily.

"I'll go grab my toiletries. Baby, would you mind putting the rest of my clothes back in my suitcase? I'd appreciate it.”, you asked Joe with a defeated tone. Nodding, he approached the bed where a few items of clothing and two pairs of shoes were still laid out. He carefully picked up the shoes and placed them inside the netted compartment of your suitcase. You observed him for a moment, then turned and walked off to the bathroom.

Grabbing your washbag, you collected your scattered belongings, finding your hairbrush in the soap dish of the bathtub alongside your razor. Half of your lotions, face creams, and other skincare products, as well as your makeup, were scattered across the sink and floor. It took you ten minutes and two more searches through the cabinets and drawers until you were certain you had everything.

Closing your washbag, you returned to Joe's room to find him standing inside your suitcase with a huge grin on his face. You stopped dead in your tracks, raising an eyebrow and gaping at him in bewilderment. Shaking your head, you couldn't help but snort.

“What are you doing, Joe?”, you asked with a light chuckle, taking slow steps in his direction.

“I packed up the last of your things. Now all you gotta do is zip it up. If I curl up in a foetal position, you might be able to smuggle me through airport security.”, he explained animatedly. You took one more step forward, stood on your tiptoes and placed a soft peck to his lips.

“Oh, how I wish I could do that.”

Taking his hands in yours, you gently tugged at them, making him step out of the suitcase. As his feet touched the ground again, he leaned down slightly, capturing your lips in another tender kiss.

“I need to call a cab soon, my flight’s at 1:00 PM and it’s already 9:30 AM.”, you said, pulling away from the kiss. Kneeling down on one knee, you brought the suitcase closer, placed your washbag inside, and zipped it up.

“You don’t need to call a cab. I can drive you to the airport.”, Joe sweetly offered, helping you up from the floor and pulling your suitcase up as well.

“No, baby, you don’t have to do that.”, you politely declined, putting on your denim jacket and checking your trouser pockets for your phone, “Besides, didn’t you have an interview scheduled for this afternoon?”

“I cancelled it. Said I had a family emergency.”, he casually confessed. Your mouth fell open and your eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at his nonchalant admission.

“Joseph Anthony Francis Quinn! You shouldn’t have done that. You can’t just put your life on hold because of me.”, you berated him, placing your hands on your hips. Joe initially looked incredulous, not expecting such a reaction, but upon seeing your flared nostrils and furrowed brows, he burst into laughter.

“I mean it! Don’t laugh at me!”

“You’re adorable, darling.”, he commented on your anger, taking the two steps that were in between you to close the distance. “Besides, right now, you and the limited time I have left to spend with you are more important than some silly magazine interview."

His lips were now mere millimetres away from yours and his arms wrapped around your waist. You released a shuddered breath, your anger melted away to be replaced with new tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. Softly, he hushed you, moving one hand to your face, delicately wiping away the unshed tears from your eyes down your cheeks and sealing his caress with his plump lips against yours.

In all the years you had spent on this planet, no one had gone out of their way for you like Joe had done multiple times these past few days. And that fact showed you how much he already cared for you. It was just very overwhelming for you to accept even the tiniest and most common gestures.

Reluctantly, you pulled away from his lips and cleared your throat, averting your eyes and looking down at your hands.

“Thank you.”, you whispered softly. “And sorry for chiding you.”

Chuckling softly, Joe shook his head and bent down to pick up your backpack, swiftly slinging it over his shoulder.

“It’s fine…go put on your shoes. We have to leave in five minutes otherwise you’re gonna miss your flight.”

At first, you didn’t move a muscle. Missing your flight seemed like a great idea, but then Joe moved behind you, placed his hands on your shoulders, and shoved you towards the hallway.

“Wait! I need to say bye to your bedroom!”

He rolled his eyes and went back to get your suitcase.

“Fine. I’ll wait by the door.”

He grabbed your suitcase by the handle and pulled it behind him to the bedroom door, playfully slapping your bum as he passed you, causing you to yelp softly.

“Idiot.”, you muttered under your breath, then turning to take one last look at his bedroom. You would miss his incredibly comfortable bed, which was ten times better than yours at home. And you would miss his so called “organised chaos”. But most of all, you would miss the time spent together in this very room. With a sigh, you turned and walked out of his room, closing the door behind you. Just as you were about to make your way down the hallway, the open living room door caught your attention. Glancing at Joe, who was now impatiently waiting by the front door and tapping his wrist, you nodded towards the living room, asking permission to say goodbye to it as well. He rolled his eyes once more, and you peeked inside the living room, soft smile on your face.

“Goodbye, living room. I will miss you.”, you said, then turned to the sofa, feigning disgust. "Although I won't miss you. You evil piece of furniture."

You heard a snort coming from down the hallway, followed by a whiny voice.

“Babe. Come oooon! It’s 10 o’clock! We have to go now.”

“OK, fine. I’m coming. Just tell me to my face that you want to get rid of me.”, you replied, exaggeratingly stomping towards him, crouching down, and deliberately putting on your shoes at an extra slow pace.

“Yes. Please. I can't stand having you around and taking up Wes's and my space any longer.”, he deadpanned, grabbing your hand and opening the door, practically dragging you out of the flat. You then rushed down the stairwell and out of the house to one of the parking spaces on the street where his car was parked.

He placed your suitcase in the boot before climbing into the driver’s seat and handing you your backpack.

“You ready?”

“No.”

“OK. Let’s go.”

---

Hand in hand with Joe, you patiently stood in the short queue at your airline's check-in counter, waiting to drop off your luggage. You thanked whoever was up in the sky that online check-in existed in these times you were living in because London’s traffic had once again proven to be a nightmare. It took you a gruelling hour and 15 minutes to reach London City Airport from his flat, and time was slowly but surely ticking away. You were well aware that in a couple of minutes you had to say goodbye to Joe and the uncertainty, not knowing when you would see him again, weighed heavily on your mind.

“…thank you. Here’s your receipt.”, the lady at the counter, whose professional smile showed a trace of sympathy, spoke to you, holding out your passport and receipt for you to take. Your mind being elsewhere, you didn’t notice that she was talking to you. Joe smiled at her and took your documents, exiting the queue to your left. As London City Airport was relatively small, you knew that taking the escalators upstairs would lead you directly to airport security. However, you weren't ready to go just yet because it meant leaving Joe behind.

Joe led you away from the bustling crowd, finding a quiet corner, his face displaying a sad smile. Seeing him like this almost made you break down on the spot. He spoke to you, but his words didn't register as you just saw him holding up his hand towards you, signalling for you to wait a moment. It finally sank in that this was it; you had to say goodbye. Your flight would start boarding in an hour. Shit - this means I only have 15 minutes to say goodbye to him. I’m not ready. No. No. Please. I am not ready!

Unaware of your inner turmoil, Joe had one hand rummaging through his pocket, his forehead creased in concentration, and his tongue peeked out from between his lips. You were blanky staring at him, tears burning in your eyes and lips trembling.

With a soft ahh he pulled something out from his trousers’ pocket and held it up in front of your face. Refocusing your eyes, you saw a delicate golden necklace, but what caught your attention was what dangled from it. You glanced at Joe’s hand and sure enough, his favourite ring was missing. The bulky sterling silver ring provided a striking contrast to the slender chain.

Your lips quivered and he motioned wordlessly for you to turn around which you did instantly. Once he had closed the clasp and laid the necklace gently against your skin, you turned around, covering your face with your hands as tears now silently flowed down your cheeks.

“You shouldn’t have, Joe.”, you mumbled into your hands. “This is your favourite ring.”

“And you’re my favourite person, so it’s only right that you keep it.”, he pulled you into his arms and you slung yours around his neck tightly, leaning up to press your lips against his. Suddenly, you felt a cool sensation on your arms and pulled back slightly to look up at who you now certainly could call the most important person in your life. He also had tears spilling down his face as he fought to hold back a trembling sob.

“Baby.”, you cooed softly trough your tears, pecking his lips again. “Thank you so much. I’m gonna wear it every day…I’m really sorry, I don’t have anything to give to you.”

“You don’t have to.”, he whispered back, his voice filled with tenderness. “Spending the past few days with you was enough to fill me with happiness. I will cherish every second right here.” He took one arm from around you and placed it over his heart, smiling softly through his tears, causing you to sob even harder.

Placing both hands on either side of your face, he drew you in for another deep, passionate kiss, caressing the apples of your cheeks with his thumbs. You kissed him back, leaving both his and your lips slightly swollen. Pulling back slightly, Joe whispered against your lips.

“Wanna know a secret?”

You nodded in response.

“I really, really like like you and I’m gonna miss you so so much.”

Sniffling, you nodded again, opening your mouth slightly to speak against his lips.

“Wanna know a secret too?”

Now it was his turn to nod, a small smile gracing his lips.

“I really, really like like you too and I’m also gonna miss you so so much.”

You were now both smiling against each other’s lips, tears still streaming down your faces, leaving salty trails on your chins, and staining your shirts and the floor below.

“Good thing we’re on the same page.”, Joe uttered, removing one of his hands from your face and wiping his with the sleeve of his thin jumper. “Otherwise, I might have had to take back my ring.”

You shook your head at his statement, pulling him closer to you again. He wrapped one arm around your shoulder and moved his other hand, that was still on your face, to wipe away your tears.

“Come one, darling. Time to go upstairs.”

You nodded softly and he let go of you, taking your hand in his once more. Slowly, you two made your way up the escalators to where the queue for checking the boarding passes started. Joe pulled you aside once more, holding your hands in his.

“This is it.”, he started, and you nodded, taking a deep breath. “Please call me when you’ve landed. If you forget, I will take the next flight and personally make sure you got home safely.”

You tilted your head to the side, a quaint smile forming on your lips.

“Is that a promise?”

“Babe. No. It should be a threat.”, he groaned, throwing his head back.

“Sounds like a promise, though.”

“Shush, I’m not finished yet.”, he hushed you, letting go of your hands and briefly covering your mouth with his hand. “Please call me.”

You nodded, and he continued.

“I promise, I’m gonna call you every day. We can FaceTime. I love FaceTiming, even when I'm abroad for work, which will be soon. I'm heading to the United States for some conventions, and then I'll be filming my next major film in Morocco - Gladiator 2, baby! Can you believe it? But I'll call you whenever I can, even if it's the middle of the night for me or the early hours of the day. We'll make it work.”, he rambled, his hand still covering your mouth. It was kind of cute, listening to his word vomit.

You gingerly removed his hand from your lips and tenderly held it in yours.

“We also need to finish watching Stranger Things.”, you declared, glancing up at him, searching for his warm chocolate eyes.

“Oh, yes. We can schedule FaceTime dates and watch Stranger Things together.”, he smiled and nodded softly, leaning down to give your lips another peck. Just as he pulled away, your phone vibrated in your pocket, signalling that your flight would begin boarding soon. A lump formed in your throat. This was now it. This was goodbye. Overwhelmed, you couldn't hold back your emotions any longer. They had been building up inside of you for the better part of the last 24 hours and you just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Your body shook violently with sobs and Joe pulled you into his chest, swaying you gently. Kissing your forehead, he whispered that everything’s going to be OK. You nodded stiffly against his pecs trying to regain composure. Giving yourself a couple of moments to even out your erratic breathing, you swallowed hard.

“I have to go now.”, you croaked out and Joe nodded against your hair. He cupped your face for one final time, placing the sweetest, most emotionally charged kiss on your lips, which you returned with equal fervour.

Pulling back, he kissed the side of your mouth, your cheek, and finally your temple before grudgingly letting go of you completely, leading you to the end of the queue. He stood beside you until your boarding card was checked and you were guided through the gate to join another queue for the security check. He gave you one final peck, and then you were out of his reach.

Joe had moved to a corner where he could still see you slowly advancing towards the luggage and body scanners. He was rubbing at his face, wiping away his tears and sniffling loudly, but kept his eyes trained on you and you did the same. With every second step you took, you would turn around and search his face. When it was time to turn the corner, you saw Joe blow you a kiss, which you caught and pressed against your chest. Returning the gesture, you blew a kiss back, and he even made a locking motion over his heart. You snorted softly, a small smile forming on your lips as you shook your head and waved one last time before disappearing behind the wall.

Joe watched you vanish around the corner, your hand still up and waving with that smile on your lips he had grown to adore, his hand still mid-air. He lingered there for about ten minutes before an airport staff member informed him that he couldn't stay in that area and asked him to return to the check-in hall. He apologised profusely and swiftly made his way down the escalator by himself when his phone chimed in his pocket. He took it out and saw a new WhatsApp message from you. You had made it through security and were now on your way to the gate. He smiled down at your message and immediately responded with a string of heart emojis, asking you to keep him updated.

He decided to leave the airport only once your flight had taken off, so he walked over to the waiting area and sat down on one of the seats. Whilst waiting for another update from you, his mind raced. He calculated dates and made mental adjustments, opening his calendar app to confirm his thoughts. Bingo. He was right. He quickly opened his contacts, scrolling through until he found this one particular person he was looking for.

Just as he was about to press the call button you updated him once more that you had boarded the plane which was now taxiing toward the runway and that you already missed him terribly. He replied that he missed you too and wished you the safest flight of all flights that had ever taken place and finished it off with the kissy-face emoji. You quickly sent one back yourself, informing him that you were switching to airplane mode now.

His last reply which read: “OK. Please call me when you’ve landed. You promised.”, showed only one tick, indicating that your phone was now truly in airplane mode. Sighing, Joe closed WhatsApp and returned to his contacts and pressed the call button.

He stood up slowly from the row of seats, making his way toward the exit of the airport and the car park. Joe almost hung up after the fourth ring when suddenly, the person he was looking for, answered the phone.

“Hey, Alex. Are you busy? No?...Good. Uhm, I just checked my calendar and realised I have nothing scheduled after wrapping up my new project…keep it that way.”

THE END

Taglist: @ohmeg @daleyeahson @lma1986 @palomahasenteredthechat @mandyjo8719 @aysheashea @eddiebaemunson @xlilithb @freakymunson @sidthedollface2 @i-wont-run-this-time @plk-18 @miserybeans @kylakins88 @deadspellz @thehillzhaveeyez @kayleeelena97 @foreverjosephquinn @punctualhowell @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead @siriuslysmoking @hollster88 @cancankiki @definitionwanderlust @eriancrow @1paire2vans @theonewiththecrackedmind @fromasgardandback @captainonaboat

crossed out = couldn’t tag

#joseph quinn #Joe Quinn #joseph quinn fanfic #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn fanfiction #Joe Quinn x reader #joe quinn fanfic #joe quinn x y/n #joe quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn x y/n #rpf

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mad-aims · 5 months ago

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So Legend of Ruby Sunday!

Warning here be spoilers, read at your own peril! ⚠️

Wow! Got to say great episode this time! Now this is what we’re talking about! Lots of mystery, intrigue, drama!

So I’m guessing Ruby’s mum has something to do with Sutekh? And Mrs Flood too? Are they also harbingers?

I’m liking the whole god stuff with the villains, but how is the Doctor meant to win against gods?

Also I love the dog Sutekh thing! He’s Set right? The Egyptian god? He looks so cool! So Sutekh is a classic Doctor Who villain. I guess Russell T. Davies is bringing back the old school villains. Instead of Sutekh looking like an ancient Egyptian reject, now they’ve given him turn to sand powers like in the Mummy and he’s the god of death?

Rose is back! Yays! And her Uncle is fine. I wonder if he’s out there watching the TV like “What the fuck is going on with that Susan Triad woman?” He’d no doubt make the connection of her possibly being Susan too. I’d love for the show to show us what he’s up to right now. I’m guessing they won’t, it’s 15’s show now. I do think it would boost the ratings though. If in doubt, send David Tennant out! 🤣🤣🤣

So we’re still no closer to knowing who Ruby’s mum is….

Poor Cheetham Hill guy, RIP. Another fellow Manc, and they killed him off in the first part. Very sad. 😢

Ruby is from Tameside? Why are they never from my neck of the woods? I’d be amazed if they got someone from my part of Manchester honestly.

So yeah “To be continued” I guess as is this review. Till next week!

#mad-aims talks #doctor who #fifteenth doctor #ruby sunday #ncuti gatwa #millie gibson #the legend of ruby sunday

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thecapricunt1616 · 8 months ago

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The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 16

♡ Chapter Inspo: Call It What You Want (Reputation - TS) ; I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck. Not because he owns me, but 'cause he really knows me. Which is more than they can say, I recall late November holdin' my breath, slowly I said "You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?"

♡ Summary: Carmy x Winnie are finally calling things what they are after 3 months of beating around the bush, YAY!!!

♡ W/C: 10,775

♡ Posted Date: 04/05/2024

♡ A/N: Here we have chapter 16 - I hope you all like it! I have been stepping back and seeing where I want things to go, & I think I have generally a good idea now, so I was able to finish up the next 2 chapters finally haha. As per usual thank you for reading, remember requests for one shots are open - or even if you want to see WxC doing something specific let me know! I am here to please hahah one shots I've already written are on my masterlist linked below! Also - no one has asked, but I usually see people will read one chapter, then go back and read all of them 1-15, so if you want to be on a tag list so you can keep up w/ the story just tell me in the comments and i'll make one!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, Speaking of smoking, Weed, Smut!, Nervous Carmy, Mushy fluff!!!

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

It was a few weeks later, and the beginning of spring had well arrived. The trees were becoming green again, the flowers were blooming, and Carmy and I were still hanging out nearly every afternoon, and he was staying over nearly every night.

That Friday evening, around 11pm, after Carmy had gotten off his shift, he came over to mine and had a shower after we ate dinner that he had made us before he came over. Tonight had been a favorite - a true garbage plate per my request.

It was currently 1 am and we were snuggled up in bed, mostly I was watching a rerun of Criminal Minds, and Carmy was distracted by his phone, texting with someone back and forth.

“Did y’wanna come w’me to Richie’s Sunday? We do Palm at his usually. He’s been textin’ me about comin’ over a little earlier to help with the lamb.” He said and I looked up at him from my spot snuggled up on his chest, my cheek adorned with lines from his sweatshirt since it had been mushed there while I watched the show, my hands playing with the tie of his sweats absentmindedly so I didn’t pick my nails.

“Oh- yeah. Sure. I didn’t know you like- did that. Y’re…religious? I mean- I know the chain and everything but..” I gently play with the charm between my fingers. He smiled a bit, forefinger gently rubbing over the dark red marks in my cheek from laying.

“I mean- nah. Not really it’s more like..tradition I guess? Palm Sunday and Easter were huge when I was growin’ up. I guess it’s just an Italian thing, but it’s like- second Christmas. The whole family gets together and has a meal” he said and I nod.

“Well of course I’ll be your date baby. Thank you for asking, I assume we’re doing church? Like Christmas Eve if it’s a big thing right?” I ask and he nodded a bit.

“You don’t…you don’t have to go. I mean- I don’t go unless it’s Christmas Eve or Palm or Easter Sunday. So..but I get it if y’arent comfortable” he bit his lip nervously.

“No baby- no…I think it’s sweet. I grew up Catholic too, well- Irish Catholic. But- I was baptized, so I’m rightfully Catholic. So we can get married someday and not go to hell” I giggled and he snorts a laugh.

“Oh thank god y’re baptized baby, how could we ever marry if you haven’t devoted yourself to our lord and savior” he teased, earning a laugh from me.

“Does this mean I get to crack out my veil again? What do I wear? Well I know I can’t have my tits out - but like, color scheme for your church, still red?” I asked and he rubbed my back gently.

“Yes still red baby.” He kissed my neck, gently nipping at the sensitive skin. “I didn’t know you wore a veil. You were dedicated, huh? Such a good little Catholic” he teased, pinching my bum playfully.

I laugh a bit “mmhmm- my mom was serious about it. I used to hate it but since I stopped believing in the Catholic god- er- worshiping him, anyway, I just think it’s hot. D’you think we could sneak away to the bathroom for a quickie during the service? I’ve always fantasized about fucking in a church it sounds really hot.” I said causing him to laugh into my skin.

“Babe. Holy fuckin blasphemy you trying to get on the big man’s ultimate shit list?” He bites my shoulder playfully.

“Ohhhh we’re way past it Carm. Plus- since he’s so big and mighty and he’s the one that created my twisted fucked up mind- it’s really him who thinks it’s hot. So if he’s mad it’s not on me” I giggled, poking his cheek. “D’you have a bite kink I’m not aware of sir?” I teased.

“Mmm no you just taste good, and y’so cute it just makes me wanna fuckin bite you I can’t explain it” he bites down on my neck gently, running his tongue over my skin.

“Awwww you have cute aggression?” I gently play with his curls and he chuckled into my skin, his breath causing goosebumps to appear.

“That’s a thing?” He questioned and I nod a bit, a wide smile adorning my features.

“It’s super sweet. Like…when I was at college studying, I took my first round of psych credits, and I guess that uh…when we see something that’s cute, or makes us really happy we wanna like squeeze it or bite it because we’re so overwhelmed with how cute it is that we’re like…searching for an outlet almost? But yeah, so thank you I guess. I do have the urge to just” I take his forearm, gently biting down and giggling into his skin and he chuckled.

“Y’can bite me. Maybe not in public so we don’t look like a couple’a freaks, but this is ok” he said and I released his flesh

“Oh yeah I’m just gonna bite you in front of all the staff at work next time I see you. I’ll do it when you’re really angry” I teased, lacing our fingers together and resting our hands over my tummy.

“Ugh no work talk right now baby today was fuckin’-” he rubs over his face with his other hand “remind me to never trust Richie with shipment ever again.” He grumbled, grabbing his phone to resume whatever he was doing. I mentally rolled my eyes.

Really, Richie? The one time. One time, that Carmy decides to let someone else start the day- and sleep until 5 am instead of 4- he fucks it up somehow.

“ ‘m sorry baby. You want a massage? It’s getting late. Maybe it’ll help you sleep, how’s your back?” I asked gently, rubbing his forearm.

He sighed a bit, putting his phone on the wireless charging pad on the nightstand that had begun living there since he had been sleeping over. “Hurts..Think I pulled a muscle ‘er somethin’ in my shoulder too, fuckin bags of rice were on the lowest shelf and I didn’t use my knees at all apparently” he said and I sat up, grabbing my massage oil from the nightstand.

“Alright roll over mister, no more work talk tonight, got it? Were Resting our brains now” I kiss his cheekbone and he nods tiredly, tugging off his sweatshirt and laying on his stomach.

“No more work talk” he agreed with an exhausted sigh. I warmed some of the oil in my hands, kissing the little freckles along his back as I did so and he hums softly.

“Okay so where should I start on the map baby?” I asked him. I had taught him the system my mom and I used to use when she’d give my brother and I massages as kids, where you tell a state on the map so she could better gauge where it was hurting.

“Fuckin’… Vegas to the Carolina’s. It hurts so bad babe” he said and I gently felt over his lower back, this was usually where we started, unless Wyoming and Nebraska which were more his mid back was hurting him worse, that only happened when he went too hard at the gym, though.

“It’s probably Texas. Usually Texas, babe” I said, gently working my thumbs with light pressure from the middle of his lower back outwards and he lets out a groan.

“Fuck Texas” he muttered into the pillow, causing me to giggle a bit.

“I’ve never been, I hear they have great Mexican food.” I said, adding a bit of pressure as I got to his hips where he held a lot of his stress.

“Mmm I’ve been- shit” he hissed as I work at a knot at the back of his hip. “Fuck- keep going babe- ahhh mmhmm- yes” he grumbles. I added more pressure and he sighed gratefully. “Thank you” he said softly, resting his cheek on his forearm, eyes fluttering shut in bliss.

“You’ve been? Lucky! Did you try the Mexican food?” I asked, dragging the pressure across his lower back and he moans out quietly.

“Mmhmm…Dallas…ACF conference- went in November. They do have great Mexican food. And the drinks are enormous, crazy strong for how cheap they were.” He said.

“Ooo that sounds like my kinda place. We should go on a trip sometime, if I could ever afford it that is. But a road trip would be fun” I gently rub up to his mid back.

“You don’t have t’pay anything baby, I didn’t know you wanna travel- where d’you wanna go? I just have to get the time off. That's the problem, not the money. But what’s y’dream place y’wanna go?” He asked.

“Anywhere. Well, anywhere with you. I’ve never been on a plane before, I took the train here. Cause my Grammy wouldn’t let me take a plane, since our Grandpa died in one- she says they’re bad luck. But I’ve always wondered what it was like. It seems fun. Are airports fun like they make it look in the movies?” I smile a bit, gently massaging over his ribs.

“No. Totally not. They don’t really put airports in tv and shit after 9/11 if you’ve noticed because now they’re a fuckin’ nightmare- but I mean…not as shit as being on a train for what- 30 hours babe? Y’not doin’ that t’go do that nanny thing right? I don’t want you sittin for 30 hours with y’hip.” He said and I shrug a bit, continuing to rub over his mid back with the pressure I knew he liked.

“I set a timer on my phone, and get up and walk around every 20 minutes, So it doesn’t hurt so bad. Also- it’s like…50 bucks cheaper so. 50 bucks toward my next therapy session” I say simply.

“50 bucks?! Baby. No. I’m buyin’ y’ticket and you can get there in 2 hours, so I can have you for an extra whole day. No arguing. It’s done” he said and I laugh a bit.

“Oh so you boss me around now?” I said and he smirks, looking at me over his shoulder.

“Hasn’t that been established? That I only make you do something when y’too stubborn to allow me to help?” He asked and I kiss his lips gently.

“Control freak” I teased, starting on his shoulders and his eyes flutter shut in bliss.

“Consider it payment f’r all the massages I’ll need when you get back. I dunno how I’m gonna manage babe it helps so much. Fuck ah- yes. There- there honey” he groaned as I drag my thumb with a good amount of pressure in the dip of his shoulder blade.

“Y’know you can see a real masseuse, Bear. You don’t have to torture yourself until I’m home again” I said, adding a bit more pressure and he whimpered, burying his face in the pillow.

“Mmm- don’t wanna” he said into the fabric as I work his other shoulder the same way. “Holy shiiiit. Baby. Fuck- fuuuuck me.” He moaned and I laughed a bit, rubbing my thumbs up to the base of his neck and back down. “Mmm shit- fuckin’ hurts soooo good”

I laughed at his bear like grumbles “Jesus baby. Thank god I don’t have roommates they’d think we’re sex addicts with the way you moan when I give you your massages” I straddled his hips as I work from the balls of his shoulders in towards his neck.

“Mm not my fault you have tiny magical hands” he teased and I laughed.

“Do not make fun of my little hands. I can’t help it, and it makes my life tedious” I joked, gently using the knuckles of my thumbs to release the tension in the sides of his neck.

“How is me calling your doll hands magical, making fun of them?” He said and I smiled, pinching his arm gently.

“May I remind you Bear who’s mercy you’re at right now?” I bite down on his neck playfully and he chuckles.

“My favorite girls” he counters and I smiled big, a blush creeping to my cheeks.

“You are a big flirt” I sat up, continuing to work at the base of his neck.

“I am being accused left and right t’night, of crimes f’which you have zero admissible evidence” he teased and I laughed, covering my mouth to not wake up the neighbors.

“Okay- we’re watching way too much criminal minds and SVU lately, admissible evidence, babe?” I shook my head, working on rubbing his biceps in sections since they were quite large.

“Not my fault I wake up f’work and it’s still on. That shit can’t be givin’ you good dreams babe. Y’need to turn it off” he said and I smiled a bit at his concern.

“Oh, and you when you go home, and turn on YouTube cooking videos until you pass out, that’s not giving you bad dreams about work?” I mused and he hums.

“No. Cause I usually don’t watch the English ones, my italian is spotty, which makes my Spanish shitty. And our French lessons have only gotten me so far. So- if my eyes are closed, nothin but noise” he countered and I roll my eyes with a smirk.

“And how do you know how much of everything to put in?” I ask curiously, massaging over his biceps.

“By the look” he replied as if that said anything at all.

“So, if I right now, gave you my water bottle- you could tell me how much water was in it?” I snort

“Depends, is there ice?” He asked and I raised my brows.

“ Carmy you can’t just- I mean you can guess. But you’ll have no form of accuracy.” I said and he hums.

“Think of it like Cooking is biology, and baking is science babe. 2 different sides of the same coin. I don’t need accuracy, I need flavor and balance. A good chef doesn’t solely stick to a recipe. But a good baker always sticks to a recipe. F’r cookin’ It’s about what the dish wants. F’baking it’s what it needs. So yeah I’m confident I could give you a fairly accurate measurement by look” he explained and I gently massage over his wrists, paying extra attention to them because of all the repetitive motion he did at work with all the chopping and stirring and whisking.

“Mmm I love it when you get all sexy technical chef on me” I kiss the top of his hand lightly and he smiled a bit.

“Well I’ll tell y’anythin y’wanna know angel” he said, covering his mouth with his hand as he yawned big. “Mmm. Y’always put me t’sleep” he mumbled.

I giggle a bit “that was the point. Geez like a colicky baby sometimes, so overtired y’can’t sleep” I said and he snorts.

“Mmm this is my favorite part” he rolled on his side as I took my place next to him and he lays his forearm over my tummy so I can lightly drag my nails across it for him.

“Spoiled, spoiled little bear” I teased, obliging him and gently dragging my nail across his skin with a featherlight touch causing goosebumps to appear.

“Mmhmm, the most spoiled” he said and kisses me sweetly I hummed softly, cupping his cheek and gently rubbing my thumb over his cheekbone.

“Just one more day” I said when he pulled away, alluding to his Sunday off.

“One more.” He said softly and snuggled into my chest as I continued gently caressing his arm, my other hand tangling in his muss of damp curls and scratching his scalp as I usually did to help him fall asleep.

This had been our routine for the last 2 weeks now, he’d come over after working out, we’d eat dinner, he’d have a shower, then we’d sit on the balcony and smoke together, then come in and get in bed, I’d give him a massage after cuddling for a while, and stroke his arm and give him scratches to help him fall asleep, since the first night I did it for him he was out in less than 10 minutes, (which was an all time record for him) - and he’d be little spoon until he fell asleep. Then when I eventually did as well- we’d wake up in the morning with me having stolen the title of little spoon once more.

He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, his warm breath hitting my collar bone. I focused on the tv and continued stroking his arm gently, a few minutes went by like that before he muttered a half asleep “night honey” bringing a small smile to my lips. “Night Bear” I said softly, brushing his curls off his forehead and gently kissing it, lingering for a moment before resting back on the pillow and continuing to stroke his arm gently.

I was woken by the sound of Carmy’s first alarm that he’d nearly knocked his phone off the nightstand trying to silence, before groaning tiredly and plopping his arm back around me, pulling me closer to him.

“Morning” I said softly, my eyes still closed.

“Mornin’ babe.” He said quietly, planting a soft kiss to my jaw. He’d been setting his alarm for 4:00 instead of 4:30 for the past week or so, so we’d get a little bit of snuggle time before he had to get in the shower.

“How’d you sleep?” I asked, lacing our fingers together and turning to face him, wrapping my leg between his and hooking them together.

“Alright. My back feels a lot better, thanks for the massage honey. How’d you sleep?” He rubbed over his face, yawning which caused me to catch it and yawn myself.

“Course love. I slept okay, had a really weird dream, wanna hear about it?” I ask and he smiled lazily, nuzzling his face into my neck.

“Mm. Always” he said softly.

“So-“ I giggle softly at the absolute bizarreness “so, Syd was there- oh I’ll have to send her a voice note about this. But Syd was there, and we were at my middle school? But it was here, in Chicago. And it wasn’t my middle school, it was a hospital? But my teachers were there. Well they weren’t my teachers they were strangers, but I like knew they were my teachers, ya’know?” He chuckled a bit into my skin.

“Okay, and what were you and Syd doin baby?” He questioned.

“Literally Carm- playing with a Ouija board? Like?” I laughed a bit, causing him to follow suit.

“Who were you trying to get ahold of?” He asked.

“I don’t know! But it was like scary lookin. I don’t even - oh! Yes! That’s how I know it was a hospital cause we were in this dingy like basement, and there was a gurney? Like. I dunno. Oh! And she was like” I laughed, shaking my head. “She was like Winnie- they’ll know the right ingredient. Like- like we’re summoning the dead for recipe advice? But she was so stressed like she was dyyying to find out what they had to say” I said and his chest vibrated with laughter.

“And yeah, that was it that’s the dream- dream Syd, and real Syd, both are OCD about recipes to the point of insanity” I said and he shook his head, planting a kiss on my temple.

“Thanks f’r sharing babe. Y’know, maybe the dead could help us out with recipes- dream Syd could be onto somethin’ ” he joked and I gently play with his sleep tousled hair.

“Mmm I think the only ghost that would give a shit about food they can’t eat- would be you and Syd baby. I can totally see that. Us hanging out in the afterlife, and you’re like ‘but honey, if I help them and tell them it needs more lemon it’ll be so good’ “ i mimicked him doing my best Carmy impression and he snorts a laugh.

“I do not sound like that, when did I turn into a fuckin- southside chain smokin’ uncle?” He teased and I laughed, poking his cheek playfully.

“Not too far off, you’re a north side chain smoking uncle in real life, so I guess the accent was a little off” I said and he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah yeah. I’m down to half a pack a day now I wouldn’t call that chain smokin anymore” he mused, kissing my neck with open mouth kisses, trailing down to my collarbones.

“Mmm Bear?” I question and felt him smile into my skin before biting down gently in the fleshy spot between my neck and shoulder.

“Mmhmm?” He mumbled, his teeth still gently clamped around my flesh.

“It’s 4:09” I said, gently scratching his scalp with my nails.

“So that means we have..21 minutes, no?” He questions and I raise my brows with a smirk.

“And what are we doing with this twenty one minutes, Bear?” I muse and he lifted the covers, crawling underneath, and getting between my thighs.

“Don’t they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day?” he asked, kissing over my pantyline in the way that made my breath hitch.

“Real breakfast, baby. Which you refuse most the time” I told him, gently pushing his curls back, watching as he carefully slips my panties to the side.

He licks a stripe up my heat with the pad of his tongue, stopping at my clit and applying more pressure, open jawed, rubbing his tongue messily back and forth. I whined in pleasure, my head dropping back to the pillow.

He hooked my knees over his shoulders, pulling me closer by my hips and gently sucks on the sensitive bud that was now getting firmer and more prominent, flicking and smoothing his tongue over it in small circles, earning hot moans of satisfaction from deep in my chest.

“Oh-“ I breathe out, my voice coming out as more of a squeak then anything and my hips buck involuntarily as a jolt of pleasure cracks through me at his actions.

“Mmm so fuckin sweet” he grumbled into the slick flesh, the vibrations causing my core to clench around nothing.

“Holy fuck Carmy” I gasp as I felt his tongue lapping over my enterence, thrusting his tongue inside in one swift motion, humming in satisfaction as he felt me squeeze tightly around his tongue and I tugged his hair between my fingers.

“Ah- shitholy-fuckingchristCarm” I moaned out as he nudged the bridge of his strong nose against my clit with a pressure that was gonna drive me right over the edge- and fast.

“Mmhmm- mmhmm” I nod quickly, biting my lip hard as I feel that all too familiar tightening in my stomach, the pool building quickly and the dam walls getting ready to snap, all of my muscles tightening and my thighs quivering.

“Breathe” he reminded me gently, reaching up and grabbing one of the hands that had taken grip on his hair, lacing our fingers together and squeezing my hand gently.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, “sorry” I mumble sheepishly and he continued, humming happily into my slick when I gasp in a enormous breath as he flicks his tongue wildly over my clit, pressing my hips into the bed to make me remain still with his other forearm.

“Oh- oh- fuuuck! Ah- ahh! cumming! Yes- yes!!!” I cry out, squeezing his hand tightly, my head thrown back in bliss and spine arched off the bed.

“mm- shit- fuck- too sensitive” I whine, as he continued the rough assault on my clit, digging my nails into the back of his hand.

“I think I can get another one babe - cmon be good f’me, please?” he said lowly, his voice coated in thick, honey-like lust.

“Ah- fuck-fuck- okay- mmmmillbegood” I slur, my thighs pressing against his temples and ankles locked behind his head.

He removed his forearm from my hips. “Y’gonna be a good girl, mmm? Y’gonna stay still f’me? Er do I need t’keep holdin’ you?” He asks and I shook my head.

“Ill be still, promise” I said quickly, squeezing his hand gently.

“That’s my girl” he brought his mouth back to my clit, slipping two fingers in my entrance and curling them expertly into that amazing spongy spot he seemed to have memorized by now, that I could somehow never manage to get to so well on my own.

“Holyfuck” I groaned, tugging his hair taut and he moans into me, the vibrations on my over sensitive clit dragging me to the edge and leaving me dangling there.

“Ah- fuck mmm-d’that- keep doin’ that Bear pleeeease” I begged as I tug at his hair harder, earning a deeper moan out of him. My hips snap back into the mattress, twitching and shaking as I mewl and whine through my second orgasm, my back arched and hand leaving his hair to grip the sheets so I wouldn’t hurt him as I held them in a white knuckle grasp.

His alarm goes off for 4:30 a few moments after my thighs stop quivering in pleasure and hips finally stilled. He messily wiped his wet chin, mouth, and the tip of his nose on my thigh, slick with my arousal, before placing a gentle kiss on my mound, and popping his head out of the sheets, casually hitting the stop button on the alarm.

“Thanks f’breakfast honey” he joked, getting out of bed and stretching his back, before giving me a peck on the lips and heading off to the bathroom, leaving me fucked absolutely dumb.

“Anytime” I said tiredly, feeling exhausted once again after only a few hours sleep and being feasted on so intensely, and so early in the morning.

He left the bathroom door cracked so Persephone wouldn’t scratch the whole time trying to get in and investigate what he was doing, and I heard him start the shower before I rolled back over and fell asleep.

I was awoken by sweet gentle kisses about 45 minutes later, feeling the icy metal of his chain brush over my chin as he pressed lingering kisses on my forehead. “Hey sleepy” he said softly, rubbing my side.

The smell of his cologne and minty toothpaste hits my nose and my eyes flutter open. He was sat next to me, backpack and hoodie already on.

“Already?” I whine, laying over his lap and nuzzling my face in his tummy, breathing in his scent and wrapping my arms around him.

“Mmhmm. But 3:30 yeah? I’ll come pick y’up from the library we can have lunch in the car?” He gently runs his fingers through my hair in the way that made me sleepy, and my eyes flutter shut once again subconsciously.

“Can’t you call out sick?” I mumble into his sweatshirt and he chuckled. This was the same conversation we had nearly every morning.

“And do what princess? Mm? Follow you to the library and sit around while you put away books?” He joked and I huff.

“Yes. Exactly that.” I said and look up at him, puckering my lips, knowing I wouldn’t win this battle possibly ever unless he was actually sick.

“Mmhmm I’m sure y’boss would love to just have a chef loitering around all day waiting for her star employee” he teased, leaning down and giving me a sweet, tender goodbye kiss.

“Be safe.” I said softly when he pulled away, cupping his cheek and rubbing over his cheekbone with my thumb. He leaned into my touch, sighing softly and eyes fluttering shut.

“Always. We have a big catering order today, so if I don’t text back that’s why. What do you want f’r lunch in case I forget to ask?” He took my hand, gently kissing my palm.

“Mmm- dunno. Surprise me, nothin’ spicy but you knew that” I said, covering my mouth as I yawn.

“Surprise it’ll be then baby” he leaned in, kissing me once more before pulling away and rubbing my stomach signaling it was that dreaded time.

I sigh, sitting up off his lap and giving him a big hug, kissing his cheek with a smooch “have a good day baby” I said softly into his damp hair, kissing his head once more before letting him go.

“Thank you angel, lock the door behind me please” he said and I nod, following him to the door and see Persephone was sat on top of his shoes in the hallway.

“See I think Persephone says you should stay home too” I smile and he shook his head with a grin.

“Not t’day snowball” he picks her up, kissing her head and he licks the tip of his nose, causing him to scrunch it adorably.

“Ugh fish breath” he mutters and I giggle.

“She looooooves her Carmy, isn’t that right little baby?” I scratch her chin and he plops her in my arms so he can slip on his sneakers.

“Mmhmm and I love her too but duty calls, stinky” he tells her in a sweet voice and kisses her head once more before pecking my lips once he had his shoes on and opening the door.

“And put some panties on Winnie the Pooh” he said in my ear, spanking my bum lightly before heading down the hall.

I laughed “Sorry- I’ll make sure to put your leftovers away sooner next time” I call after him teasingly, shutting the door behind me and clicking it locked.

I was in the Young Adult section at the library, putting returned books back on the shelf, when I felt my phone start buzzing in my bra. I fished it out, abandoning my cart of books I’d yet to put away, quickly heading to the employee back room once I realized it was Carmy.

I clicked green answer button. “Hey Bear! How’s the-“ he cuts me off suddenly.

“Hey- um- hey. I need like- a huge favor baby”

He said nervously. I put a concerned hand on my hip, nervously pacing the break room. “What is it love? Are you ok? Are you hurt?” I asked, already on edge due to the anxiety lacing his tone.

“No- no I’m ok- it’s uh. Syd. She’s….fuck I’m sorry - her stomach? Something about her stomach. She’s in the office right now, she can like- barely move but she doesn’t want to go to the hospital and uhh.” I could see him in my mind nervously shaking his hand and pacing.

“Okay- okay I’m coming. Is it like a girl tummy ache- or something different?” I asked, grabbing my purse and light jacket I’d worn, quickly putting it on as I held my phone pressed to my cheek and shoulder.

“No - no way honey. This is like- she can barely speak - I’ve never…I’m scared baby.” He said, his voice cracking a bit.

“Shhh. It’s ok, it’s ok, Bear- Syd has had stomach ulcer problems in the past, I need you to get her to try and eat something, ok? Shes gonna say no, but she has to eat- the acid in her stomach is irritating her. I’m coming. I’m grabbing an Uber right now, breathe baby. It’s all gonna be fine” I said and he took a deep trembling breath.

“Ye’…yeah. Ok. Okay, I’ll see you baby, be safe” he said and I sigh softly.

“Always” I said softly and hung up. I shoved my phone in my coat pocket, untucking my hair and heading to my bosses office.

I lightly knocked, waiting for her ‘come in’ before nudging the door open.

“Hey- Family emergency, I have to head out. Could you let Jessie know I left some returns in the YA section?” I ask and she nods.

“Hope everything’s ok, call me if you can’t make it in Monday.” She said and I nodded.

“Thank you” I told her before shutting her office door behind me.

The Uber ride to The Bear was torturous, I’d texted Syd thrice - to no avail. She was constantly pushing herself so hard- that she was making herself literally burn from the inside out. I’d told her time and time again, from everything I’d learned in my 3 years at college- stress can literally kill you, and that she should really take some time off before she seriously injured herself- but unfortunately she never listened.

I got out of the car when we’d barely come to a full stop, rushing to the front door, stepping inside and seeing Sugar at the host stand. “Oh- thank god- Carmy is freaked out Winnie- he literally is convinced she’s dying- can you go cool him off? Please?” She begs and I nodded quickly, heading behind the counter and pushing the back door open to the loud kitchen.

Everytime I was here during the day, I made it a point not to come in this way because the environment made my skin crawl. The noise, the lights, the crashing of pans and pots, the yelling, the sudden bursts of flames while various chefs flambéd dishes that would singe your hair if you weren’t paying attention.

I swallowed thickly “uh- oops! Sorry” I squeak, quickly getting out of a foodrunners way as he briskly moved past me, shoving the door open with his hip and heading to the front of the restaurant with a large tray of food he held with one hand over his shoulder.

“Uh- behind you? I’m behind you!” I tried to call over the noise as I pass various people. Usually if I came through the front, Carmy greeted me and people parted for us like Moses and the Red Sea- but without his presence, I was just another body in here and no one seemed to even realize I was there.

I finally made it back to the hall where the offices were, taking a deep breath to center myself before pushing open the door.

Carmen was knelt in front of the big comfy couch in Sugars office, offering Syd some water.

“Winnie- if you don’t get your boyfriend the fuck away from me- I’m gonna peel off his skin and enjoy it” Syd said through gritted teeth.

“Syd- Syd- eat. Y’have t’eat.” He pleads and I shut the door to silence out all the noise.

“Carmy” I said softly and he looks up at me, concern and worry written all over his face. “Take a walk, yeah? Go have a cigarette ok?” I said gently and squat next to him, rubbing his shoulder that was hard as a rock with all the tension he was currently holding.

“No- no. She’s sick Winnie. She’s just bein’ a jagoff because she hates bein’ cared for. Cmon syd” he looks at her and she glared back at me with the fire of 1000 suns, a look that if I was quite honest- scared me slightly.

“Bear” I gently play with his curls, earning his attention once more. “What Syd needs right now, is the energy in the room to be calm, and you’re literally vibrating with anxiety. Please, f’me? Go relax. Ok?” I said and kiss his temple.

He huffs and got up, leaving the room with a hard closing of the door, but not quite a slam. I look at Syd, and before I could start, we both hear Carmy going off

“I’m steppin’ out f’r 5 FUCKIN MINUTES- If that GOD DAMN DIRTY BOWL I ALREADYTOLD SOMEONE TO WASH IS STILL SITTING AT THE EXPO WHEN I GET BACK HEADS WILL ROLL FUCKERS. MOVE. IM NOT FUCKIN’ AROUND T’DAYISN’T THE FUCKIN’ DAY “ he barks before we hear his heavy footsteps stomping off down the hall and a harsh slam of the back door.

Syd rolls her eyes and I gently sit next to her. “See what I have to deal with? And you wonder why I’m - fffuuuuck oh my gooooddd” she groans, keeling over and laying on my lap as she clutches her stomach. “Fucking kill me. Oh my god- kill me please” she moaned in pain.

I gently rub her arm, digging through my purse and taking out one of my vials of RSO I kept in there for emergencies. “Here, Y’gonna have to go home- but..it’s gonna make it stop” I told her.

“Give it. Give it. Whatever it fucking is. I’d literally take heroin right now holy shit Winnie it feels like I’m being stabbed” she said, hands shaking from how much pain she was in.

“Open.” I told her, tilting her face towards me. “Tongue up” I said when she opened her mouth and I squirt a decent glob of oil under her tongue.

She closed her mouth, nose scrunching at the taste “what the fuck is that weed?!” She mumbles and I nod.

“Mmhmm, well kinda- don’t swallow. Let it sit until the pain stops enough that you forget about it and wonder why your mouth is so full of spit” I teased, gently dabbing her sweaty forehead with a napkin from my purse.

“Thank you” she mumbled, closing her eyes and sighing softly as she waited for it to kick in.

“He was really worried, Syd.” I said after a few minutes of silence, when I knew the pain had started to dull since her hands had stopped shaking.

She shook her head in annoyance, unable to speak yet because of the oil and scrunching her nose as if to say ‘he shouldn’t be.’

“Y’re his only friend. Other then me, and Richie. But Richie raised him. Of course he’s gonna worry for you. Especially when you’re like- near the point of vomiting blood because of how bad this is getting. You have to do the surgery, Syd.” I said and with that she swallowed, sitting up and looking at me.

“No- no. Winnie. No! I’m- I can’t. I can’t and I won’t. It’s not even that bad and I’m not vomiting blood miss theatrics- I’m not gonna take 3 weeks off work to do a stupid surgery that isn’t even guaranteed to find anything wrong! What if they go in there and find nothing and I’m back at square one- and out of work for THREE WEEKS?! I can’t leave Tina yet, she- she’s. No. I can’t let her drown. Carmy too- a-and Richie. We can’t-“ I inturrupt her

“Sydney.” I said in a dead serious tone. “Y’need to get it. This is literally like - this should not even be a discussion at this point! The reason the doctor wants you to have it is because before they can just give you all these medicines to fix your gut bacteria that’s all shot from fucking stress- it’ll hurt you more on the very slim chance you don’t have a stress ulcer, but it is something with your stomach, Syd. It’s an exploratory surgery they don’t do those for no reason.” I said as Carmen came in and his eyes nearly fell out of his head.

“Surgery?!” He exclaims and slams the door shut behind him. “What? Syd- what’s going on. This isn’t a stomachache you didn’t just eat somethin’ that’s not agreeing with you. What is it, Sydney” she said and I crossed my arms, sitting back and letting her do the talking.

A slow smile grows on her face, and she covers her mouth with her hands as she begins to giggle. Fair to say the oil has now done its trick.

“Have I ever told you, when you get mad, there’s this vein in your forehead- and- it’s- it’s so funny” she said, causing me to start laughing with her.

Carm’s eyes flickered to mine. “What the hell did you give her?” He asks and I shrug with a smirk.

“Somethin’ t’make her floaty, and” I shield my mouth from Syd so only Carm could see “agreeable” I mouthed and he smiled a bit, shaking his head.

“Syd.” He looks at her.

“Caaarrrmeeennnn” she replied in a sing-songy voice “I need to get back to the spice mixture for my cod now- but this was a great chat guys. Winnie- you’re the best” she said and got up, heading towards the door.

“Noooo ya’ don’t” Carmen stops her, spinning her around by the shoulders and leading her back to the couch. She groaned dramatically, sitting down next to me once more. “What is this about a surgery, Syd?” He asked, pulling up the rolling chair and sitting in front of us.

“A stuuuuupiiiidd surgery Carmen. Stupid. Doctors wanna slice me open and prod around hoping they find something. And then when they don’t i'll be stuck at home with my dad glued to my bedside, for no fucking reason, and I’ll loose three weeks minimum of work. And that’s if they find nothing. If they do find something, I’ll have to schedule another surgery and I’ll be out for SIX weeks.” She said and Carm nods, rubbing over his face for a moment as he thinks.

“And how long have they been buggin’ you t’get this surgery, Syd?” He asked finally, brushing his hair back and looking at her seriously.

“Mmm….” She crossed her arms, averting his gaze “7 months” she mumbles.

“What?!” Carmen leans forward in disbelief. “Say that- say that again? I know y’didnt just say you’ve been dealin’ w’this f’r a fuckin year” he said and she shrugged.

“They reccomended it a year ago, they’ve just been hounding me for the past 7 months. It’s really not that bad, Carm.” She said and he shook his head, getting up and going over to the filing cabinet silently.

“What are you doing?” Sydney sits up as he opens a drawer, thumbing through different file folders before popping out what looked to be a blank information sheet of some kind and plops back down in the chair, rolling over to the desk and beginning to fill it out with a pen.

“Carmen - what are you” she stood up, looking at the form he was filling out “no” she said, ripping it from under his pen and crumpling it up, throwing it in the wastebasket next to the desk. “Fuck you. No” she seethed.

“What’s going on?” I sit up.

“Syd- there’s like 50 million copies, I really don’t want to do it like this, but I know you aren’t gonna do it unless I make you do it.” He said and got up, walking back over to the same filing cabinet.

She followed him, holding the drawer containing the forms closed with her hand. “No! Carmen are you fucking kidding me?! You aren’t my fucking parent. Stop! We are equals here! You can’t do this” she said and he shook his head, resting his hand atop the cabinet.

“Sydney. This isn’t a discussion, are you really gonna make me say it, you’re really gonna push me?” He asked lowly.

She crosses her arms, “say it.” She countered chest quickly moving with rapid angry breaths.

“As your partner. I’m ordering you, mm? It’s an order, Sydney. Y’gonna go to the back, Y’gonna empty out your locker- because y’not gonna be around here for a while, and you are going to come back to this office, Y’gonna take the short term disability form I give you, Y’gonna call them, file. it. I will be checking, and then, Y’gonna schedule whatever fuckin procedure you need, and when your doctor clears you to come back in the kitchen, then, and only then will you return to work. I’m being more then fair, considering you’re making me force you t’do this, so I’ll be paying you your full wages while you’re out. Even though, im gonna have to train 3 dumb fucks to even-“ he shook his head, sighing deeply. “T’even keep us runnin’ half as well. So there. There. You wanted me to fuckin’ play mean mentor partner there ya go.” He said before opening up the drawer, plucking out another blank form and sitting back at the desk.

She scoffs, looking to me. “You’re just gonna let him do this?” She narrowed her eyes at me, brows furrowed with anger.

“Syd- this..this isn’t my restaurant…you only answer to-“ Carmy cuts me off.

“Do not. No. Sydney, out. Step the fuck out, now. Y’not doin’ this t’her. She fuckin-“ he shakes his head, rubbing his eyes before pointing to the door.

“Fuckin- go. Go before I say shit I’ll regret. Leave. Now.” He orders her and she left the office with a loud slam of the door.

I sighed, dropping my head back on the couch and closing my eyes, wanting to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby” he sighed, the soft sounds of pen on paper filling the silence.

“Not your fault” I mumbled, crossing my arms.

“I-it is. Babe I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be bringin’ you into this shit. It’s not fair, she’s your friend” he said.

“Exactly- she’s my friend. I love her, Carm. She’s a hard headed fuck at times, but it’s because she loves being here. She just- has this idea that I have some semblance of control over what you do” I took off my shoes before sitting crisscrossed on the couch.

He snorts a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Well. I mean, not full control- but I listen to you” he gives me a small smirk and I roll my eyes.

“In our relationship of course. But I can’t honestly give you advice about that. Shes gonna cool off and apologize, to you too babe. Shes gonna realize we just want her better” I sighed softly.

He nodded, continuing to fill out the form. “I get if you don’t wanna sit around here, want me t’drive you home?” He asked.

I shook my head “why not? Well if I can stay back here. I don’t like being in the kitchen like at all” I said and he chuckled.

“Why? Too busy?” He asked

“Too busy, too loud, too bright, to many stabbey things, too many people, too many smells, too much yelling.” I said, pulling my kindle out of my purse. “But back here I have a comfy couch, my books, and my bear. So, I’m ok here” i smile a bit and he rolled over, giving me a peck on the lips.

“Thank you f’comin, honey. Really” he tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Baby, any time. If you’re ever scared, or need to talk, or just- I dunno…need a hug? I’m here. That’s what I’m for.” I said and he kissed my nose sweetly.

“Then I’m the luckiest guy alive” he said softly before kissing my lips in the way that gave me a feeling of a swarm of monarchs being trapped in my chest.

“Oh you are the mushiest ever” I said and kissed the cute little moles on his cheek.

The door slammed open and Syd comes in “give it.” She snipped, outstretching her hand.

Carm rolls back over to the desk, handing her the form and she plucks it from his hands. He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and they look at eachother in silence, almost like 2 lions deciding if it was worth it to continue a fight over dominance.

“Please.” She said quietly after a few moments, her big brown eyes teary.

“Syd” he said softly, signing to her ‘I’m sorry’ over his chest and i bit my lip, looking out the window, trying to appear uninterested so that they could have some semblance of privacy.

“Then I want you to get your back checked out. Fair is fair, Carmen.” She said shakily.

My eyes flicker back over to him and he sits back in his chair, rubbing over his chin for a moment as he thought. “Fine. Fine. I’ll go to the doctor. Back pain is different Syd you know this. But fuckin’ whatever. I’ll go if it’ll make you get Y’r surgery” he said and she nodded once.

“Fair is fair” she outstretched her hand for him to shake, and he rolled his eyes.

“Really, we have to seal this with a handshake?” He asked.

“Fair, is fair.” She replied and he shook her hand firmly.

“And I’m sorry” she said to me. I nodded

“It’s okay, I know this is…it’s hard, kid. I get it. But did you have to give me the near impossible task of getting him to the doctor?” I tease with a smile.

The faintest upturn of a smile replaced her frown and she shrugs. “It’s his deal to go through on. I’ll be checking.” She repeated his words from earlier and he gave her a smug smile.

“And how will you do that? You don’t know what doctor I see, or if I’ll just go to an urgent care and have some random ass doctor write me a pain pill prescription and that’s it.” He countered.

“Oh- because I have eyes on you at every angle.” She told him. “I’m always watching.” She teased, closing the office door behind her when she left.

“What- is she gettin’ daily reports from you ‘er somethin?” He asks and I laughed, shrugging a bit.

“Mmm. Not reports. I don’t like tell her everything, but- mood reports” I giggle and Richie opens the door.

“What the fuck are you doing?! How are we gonna run this shit without Syd?!” He shuts the door behind him and looks over to me. “Sorry sweetheart, nice t’see you” he gives me an apologetic smile before turning back to Carm. “You let her go?!” He asks and Carmen looks at him as if he had 3 heads.

“Let her go?! No, jagoff. I told her to take short term, I’m paying her full wages as long as she needs, and she’s gonna be back when she’s fuckin’ better.” Carmy explained.

“Short term? Short term termination? Short term what?!” Richie asked frustratedly.

“You IDIOT. SHORT TERM DISABILITY!” He shouts at him and I flinch.

“Carmen” I said sharply, he quickly looks over to me.

“That scares me. Please. You don’t need to yell, Bear- also- you aren’t an idiot, Richie. He’s just…in a mood.” I said softly and Carm’s cheeks flush red.

“ok” he muttered, turning back to Richie. “It’s-“ he takes a deep breath. “It’s fine. I have it under control. What I need you t’do, is ask Nat for the login shit for the recruiting website she used to find the runners and shit. Can you handle that f’me while I figure out how this shits gonna work while Syds out?” He asked him calmly, but I could still…feel him. His energy. He’s way too wound up.

I wish I could just tell him to come home, talk it out with him, I knew all of this rage was just him burying his fear. He was so fucking scared.

“I can. I can do that” Richie nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “So- so what’re we doin’ what’s the fuckin plan?” He asked and I give him a look.

I knew he had to get out of here or Carm was going to rip in to him just because he could. “Richie, Syd just left- like 5 minutes before you came in here? Carmy is still working that out…can you- can you do me a favor?” I asked and his brows raised in surprise.

“Yea? Yeah. Wha’dyou need?” He asked.

“Can you go get that stuff from Nat and then make me a grilled cheese? Eva said you make really good grilled cheese. So Carmy can have some quiet time to figure this out, and you guys can tell everyone what’s going on together.” I look at Carm.

“Because you don’t have to do everything alone, you’re a team. Breaking difficult news is hard, but when you have the people you love with you, it can make it easier to bare the weight.” I said, looking directly at Carmen.

Carm nodded, swallowing thickly and biting at the inside of his lip nervously. “Sure- yeah. She uh…she said that?” Richie asked and I smiled, looking over to him once again.

“She specifically said - ‘My daddy makes the best grilled cheese in the whole wide world’ “ I told him and he smiled a bit, a light blush creeping to his cheeks.

“Alright well the kid has quite the flare f’dramatics, but I can make a pretty good grilled cheese. Comin’ right up” he said and headed back out to the kitchen, shutting the door behind him.

Carm got up, locking the door, before coming over to the couch and laying down with his head in my lap. I knew he didn’t have the confidence to ask, so I gently start scratching his head in the way that he liked and his eyes fluttered shut. He let out a deep sigh, like a pressure valve releasing so it wouldn’t explode.

“So let’s make a plan, baby. I don’t think you need three. I think you know that but you’re planning for someone to drop” I said softly, gently stroking my nails through his hair.

“Cause someone will drop babe it’s how it fuckin goes. If I hire 2 we’re gonna be left short when one quits because they aren’t as good as the other one.” He said.

“Well why do you say that, baby?” I asked.

“Because no one’s gonna fight to be the best when they inevitably find out they’re a temp” he said and I furrow my brows.

“Carmen. You weren’t planning on hiring someone without telling them right?” I asked and he got quiet. “Carmen. Are you kidding me?! Absolutely not! Oh my god that is so- so mean baby!” I said and his cheeks heat.

“Well who the fuck is gonna wanna work here when we already have a full fuckin staff?!” He asked annoyed.

“Because you are the best fucking restaurant in Chicago, are you kidding me baby?! Just like you sent Richie to Ever to gain experience? There are fucking talented chefs Carmy, ones like Richie who don’t have the time to save and go to super nice culinary school like you did and garner that expirience. There would be a line out the door if you were honest and said ‘hey who wants a 2 month opportunity at a luxury fine dining restaurant that’s been nominated for best new restaurant by the JBF in its first year open’ “ I told him.

He was quiet for a moment, thinking it over. “I guess” he mutters.

“Babe cmon we can write the posting together. We don’t even have to do all this today. Don’t rush, y’know what would be a good idea?” I ask. He hums in response. “I think, that you should go back out there, work as usual, keep Syd’s stations covered best you can, and we can have a nice Sunday together, relax, recharge, and then we’ll have Palm Sunday dinner with the family, and then on Monday, you can come in fresh and rested with a great plan on what you’ll tell everyone with Richie.” I explain.

He contemplated for a moment, looking over at the desk in thought before looks up at me, “thank you.” He said softly. I gently caress his cheek with my knuckle.

“Nothin’ to thank me for, Bear.” I said and he took my hand, placing a gentle kiss to my knuckles.

“There’s too much to thank you for. We’d be here forever” he mumbled against my fingers with a small smile.

“You’re getting mushier by the day” I ruffle his hair and the doorknob jiggles.

“D’you still want this?” Richie calls from outside.

“Yeah! Sorry” I said getting up when Carmen got off my lap. I opened the door and Richie offers me a plate with 2 grilled cheeses.

“He hasn’t eaten” he said so only we could hear and I nod.

“Thank you, best cousin ever” I took the plate.

“Course, anytime. Oh Carm” he looks to him “user is MBerzatto87 password is fuckin password234.” He said and Carm chuckled a bit.

“I coulda guessed that shit. But I guess I was hopeful he gave more a shit about cybersecurity” he shook his head.

“RICHIE. DID YOU TOUCH MY ORANGE ZEST?!” Tina shouts from the kitchen and Richie heads back

“What the fuck would I need orange zest for?” He yells back as I shut the door, locking it once again.

“How do things always go missing?” I giggle a bit, sitting next to him and placing the plate on his lap, taking one of the sandwiches and taking a bite.

“Cause people at the same stations doin’ the same thing will think they already did their orange zest, and just take it.” He said, staring at the plate on his lap. “Also I’m not hungry” he put the plate on the desk.

I shrugged, putting my sandwich back on the plate. “Okay” I said, brushing off my hands before grabbing my kindle again and continuing to read.

“What- what’re you doin’ babe. Eat” he said, putting the plate on my lap.

“I’m not hungry” I said, not looking up from the page.

“Yes you are, you - you don’t ask for food unless you’re hungry, Winnie.” He said.

“Mm- I like it when we eat together. I don’t wanna eat by myself so, my appetite is gone.” I lie with a shrug.

“Y’really gonna be difficult right now?” He asked and in response, I playfully stuck out my tongue before going back to reading.

“Oh you are a child” he huffs, picking up the untouched sandwich and taking a bite.

“Oo! I’m hungry again!” I teased, grabbing mine as well and taking another bite.

He snorts a laugh, rolling his eyes. “Y’re lucky y’cute” he said before taking another bite.

I smiled, “I love winning you over. It’s my favorite game” I said teasingly.

“Yeah yeah, I’m just saving myself, you turn into a tiny demon when you’re hungry. Especially on your cycle” he said and I laughed.

“You’ve learned your lesson though so you don’t have to meet that demon again as long as you keep us fed.” I peel off the crust, setting it on the plate.

“You don’t like the crust?” He asked.

“No…well- I don’t know..really. I didn’t as a kid, but Chris did, so I always gave it to him. Never stopped” I said, staring at the crust on the plate as I got lost in memories of sitting in the school cafeteria with Chris over lunch, carefully peeling off the crust after taking my first bite and putting it on the top of the empty ziplock he’d taken his sandwich from.

“That’s sweet. I’m sure he’s happy you still leave it for him” he said. My heart melts at the sentiment and I gently kissed his cheek before resuming eating my sandwich.

“I don’t like pickles, so when we were kids- Mikey always picked em off for me.” He says quietly and I looked up at him. It wasn’t often that he brought up stories about Michael, so each one I safely tucked away in my mind where I’d never forget.

“I love pickles, I could eat a whole jar if you let me. I’ll always take unwanted pickles” I smiled a bit.

“Ahhh ok. So you’re a sour person not a spicy person. It’s usually one or the other” he said before finishing off his sandwich.

“Yes- exactly. You like spicy stuff? We haven’t eaten a single spicy thing” I said and he nods.

“Love spicy shit. But you don’t, so doesn’t really matter” he shrugged.

“Wha- Carmy. No! No you can eat spicy things, I feel bad. I don’t want it to always be what I like. Just like- make mine less spicy” I said.

“It’s fine babe, I try spicy stuff here all the time. Plus the food I like with a ton of spice in it is usually Indian and Filipino and shit where the whole profile is about the heat and the spice so-“ I inturrupt him.

“You like Filipino food?!” I asked and he nods

“Yeah- why, do you?” He asks and I nod happily

“My neighbor! Ms.Mendoza! She’s from the Philippines! Before you started bringing me dinner I’d usually stop by her place because she always made too much and asked me if I wanted it, you have to talk to her babe she’s like- amazing! I’m sure you guys will have so much in common she loves cooking- and she has like all these connections back home in the Philippines and they send her spice mixes and stuff for her to try. You have to try this stew- she calls it um..” I think for a moment “inew? Inihaw? Yeah- I think that’s it. Inihaw na leimpo! “ I said excitedly.

“Oh- the lady- the lady I met?” He asked and I nod.

“Yeah- I…I never asked- was she there when you got there?” I asked

“She- well” he chuckled. “Almost knocked me out with her cane cause I guess she thought I was trying to break in, cause I heard you screamin’ and I was trying to pick the lock, I told her I was a friend and she didn’t really believe me, but then she saw the flowers and she nearly dropped the keys getting the door open.” He said and my cheeks go pink.

“I’m…I’m sorry- she’s like….such a grandma. She’s been hounding me about a boyfriend since I moved in don’t mind her pushyness about it. She’s been trying to hook me up with her friends grandsons left and right” I finished off my sandwich.

“Well, she can stop looking now right?” He asks.

I brushed my hands off before nervously picking at my nail polish at the question. “What does that mean?” I asked and the room went eerily silent for what felt like minutes.

“Cause’…” he trails off. “Are you…are you still seeing other people?” He asks and I look over at him.

“No. No, Carmy. No just you..are you?” I asked and he shook his head. “So…what does that mean?” I asked biting the inside of my lip nervously.

“I…I dunno…” he looked at the clock. “I uh- I have to get out there, you still wanna hang out here?” He asked.

I swallowed thickly, realizing that I didn’t want to be here all day if he was just going to run away.

“So…what Syd said. You’re- you’re my boyfriend now?” I asked and he went pale as a sheet.

I stare at him, waiting for a response, and he opens his mouth like he was going to say something but he closes it again, nervously rubbing his lips together.

“Well- are you?” I ask.

“So- so Y’re like…my girlfriend now?” He asked.

“That’s my question, am I your girlfriend?” I asked and he shrugged.

“I guess? I dunno…I’ve never done this I just…kinda assumed?” He said rubbing his neck nervously.

“Well- I don’t remember you ever asking me…” I nudge his knee with mine gently.

“You didn’t ask me to be your boyfriend either!!” He said.

“Because I knew you’d freak out! And like- Y’re a masculine guy Carm I didn’t wanna make you feel insecure!” I exclaim.

“Okay fine! Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks, a small smile on his lips.

“Hmmmmm….” I put my finger to my lips, pretending to contemplate. “Of course I will dummy” I pull him into a deep wanting kiss and he hums happily, gently rubbing over my hip with his palm.

“Y’know y’mine baby I tell you like every day” he said, his breath fanning my lips.

I look up at him, biting my lip to contain a grin. “I dunno…I thought you said it just t’like..please me when we fool around, I didn’t know you meant it.” I said softly.

“I’d never say something I don’t mean baby, everything I tell you I really mean” he leans in, kissing me again. But this kiss was sweeter, somehow more intimate then the last. It felt…truthful.

I gently cup his cheek, humming softly and he pulls away when the doorknob to the office starts to jiggle and someone pounds on it.

“Chef?! We need more hands out here if we’re gonna be gettin’ this order out on time are you with us?” Tina calls through the door.

“Duty calls” he sighs softly. “You know where to find me baby” he kissed my forehead sweetly before heading back out to the kitchen.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

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