#yapping. let me tell you how much I've come to love to yap ever since I created this au

[holymaccaronii]

im sorry i absolutly love BE

I see AM as a father figure for some struggles I got and BE is sooo well writed for me I couldnt help but slowly see her as a mother figure as well,,,,UGH i love her you writed her so well pls ramble more about her(BE and AM are even divorced just like my irl parents/j)

Ou anon you don't know how happy you make me when knowing you see AM and BE that way + asking me for rambles. Of course I'll ramble comforting facts abt BE and her behavior towards AM. I might've mentioned a few things before but i dont rlly mind. Have some rambles below the cut and a doodle :P

So first an introduction shall we? We might explain some background as well despite being repeated a lot. As her lore dictates, BE was born from the materials of a much bigger ai implanted on the moon after HEL-102 (former human that was part of the mission turned into a dictator) tore it apart and built his society + kingdom. She spent a good while in there being used as a role model (with other units like her too) for lower-class units to believe that, if they worked hard enough, they could achieve to be upgraded into her type of model. This being all a big lie. She lived a life seemingly flawless and perfect... but at last, it was her own curiosity, determination and hope that got her out of that hell she realized she was in. She eventually meets AM after a series of events on earth and she gifts him the ability to be anything and do anything he wanted, their relationship eventually grows and grows...

Facts about BE herself:

-Up in the moon, she used to accompany HEL-102 to his personal theater a lot. She gained an interest for dancing in there + learned her classic "to be or not to be" phrase during a play.

-Her exposed cables showcase their current temperature thru colors. Her core/closed body is the warmest area, thus why you can see red/orange colors in there. Her hair and arms are the most stable areas, but if touched/affected they can vary on color patterns. This also means that she can give you a warm or cool hug whenever you need it c:

-BE is able to configure your body to dream about something specific, and she uses this feature to avoid any nightmares on her survivors. As long as there is not another evil ai trying to access your dreams, you'll get a guaranteed good rest.

-BE can grant you about any wish as long as it doesn't pose a threat to you, her, or anybody. Want to have a profession or be someone? Sure! Want to go somewhere and experience the place of your dreams? Of course! Want to have a cat? Have 15! Her power is limitless as long as she uses it above the surface.

-I headcanon her voice to be similar to the one of Rose Quartz (SU).

Facts about BEAM (yep that's their ship name):

-I have mentioned it many times alr but BE literally provided him anything he wished for and even things he didn't know he wanted... mainly to receive different forms of affection and the ability to shapeshift. Their relationship relies heavily on comfort from BE's part, since she believed he was abandoned and thus deserved all the affection she gave him.

-BE wasn't really allowed to be too affectionate or expressive up in the moon, but with AM, she could show as much love as she wanted.

-She was all in for physical and verbal demonstrations of affection. She LOVED to do stuff like face smooches, teeth smooches (since well yk about my AM), rubbing, scratching and cuddling.

-At some point she also started to call AM names such as dear, sweetheart or honey, and he initially had to eat these up to not give her his real-self impression, but as time passed by he got used to them.

-To comfort him she also used her abilities to create and transform matter with her code as well, allowing him to shapeshift and enjoy life not necessarily in a human body.

-Annnd you guessed it right anon, they do behave as motherly and fatherly figures towards the survivors, BE forming a bond with them ever since they proved their worth and values to her as humans, and AM forming a bond when they accepted to help him get back together with BE. The ending of that route gets even better but I won't spoil that :p

I hope these were good rambles and sorry for the wait tehee

[googleitlol]

Aaaah, I’m sorry if I’m bothering you with all these asks, but I have to know this! How would Black Myth Wukong go with Dove in it, considering the story? Especially with what happened to the original Wukong and her potential interactions with the Destined One?

OOOOOOOH THIS ONE IS INTERESTING!! Also, don't ever apologise for giving me asks to answer, I love yapping so you're doing me a favour. Also I hope you know the vault of angst and depression you just opened

Ok so just letting you know, I have two different endings for PoM I may go with: a happy ending… and a less happy ending. Since I'm already feeling depressed, I'm gonna answer this as though the less happy ending is what happens. In it, Dove gains immortality (but for reasons I won't disclose yet) and is separated from everyone forever, including Wukong. He can't even try to save her because, well… spoilers.

I know the basics of the game lore so sorry if I get anything wrong/misunderstand anything, but this is how I think it'd go. Also, spoilers under the cut for Black Myth Wukong.

TW: Suicide

So from my understanding, the Destined One isn't technically Wukong, but he inherits his memories by the end of the game. With that in mind, I see this going similar to what I've seen of Wukong finding a reincarnated reader, but reversed.

Dove eventually escapes the place she is trapped in, but by the time she makes it back to Flower Fruit Mountain to find Sun Wukong… the worst has already happened. Erlang is the one who tells her how Sun Wukong ended his life, his final plan to free himself from the Heaven's grasp.

Before being separated, Dove had already learned some hard truths from Guan Yin about events concerning her past. Learning about what her master had been keeping secret from her, and then the relief of seeing her love again being crushed by the reality of his suicide, it breaks her. She had spent years fighting to get back to her Peaches, to the one that she could always depend on. He was with her when she learned about Guan Yin's secrets, they had to drag him away from her the day they were separated– it hits her then, the last moment she ever saw him was when he was in pain, clawing at demons that pulled him further away from her. The last she ever saw of those beautiful sunset eyes… they were filled in anguish and rage.

After learning of Sun Wukong's fate, Dove grows bitter and cold. She doesn't return to Potalaka Mountain– she can't stand to be in the presence of any of the deities anymore, not even the one who raised her. Who lied to her. Moksa checks in on her every now and then, from a distance, she won't talk to him either. It's a pitiful sight, how she becomes a shell of her former self. Dove cuts contact with nearly everyone and travels the road on her own, helping people where she can, but no task she does is ever enough to distract her from that emptiness that takes root inside. It's painful, and no matter how hard she tries, that pain won't go away.

Then, by chance, she comes across a monkey demon.

Confusion is the first word that comes to mind when describing her reaction to seeing the Destined One for the first time. Maybe her mind is just playing tricks on her again… but this doesn't feel like she's seeing things. He feels real. Dove has already gone through the emotional ups and downs of meeting a reincarnated loved one before, but this is different. It's different because it's Sun Wukong. There has never been another like him.

She does suppose the same holds true once she spends more time with the Destined One, he isn't like Sun Wukong. He's more… stoic. He doesn't say much, and compared to the talkative Monkey King, it's a little unnerving at first. Is this really the person she loves? It's a question she struggles with as she goes through the game with him, helping him. Travelling with the Destined One, it's almost reminiscent of the original journey. That's what Dove tells herself, anyway.

Whether or not it really is him, it's safe to say any reincarnated/reborn Monkey King would be falling for Dove pretty hard. I'm still figuring out how the Destined One would be around her at first, maybe he's a little put off by this strange immortal woman who decided to tag along with him. She's helpful, so he doesn't mind the company, but that doesn't stop him from wondering why she's with him. Maybe there's one night where she's helping him recover from a serious fight, probably scolding him for something reckless he did as she works her magic and all he can do is frown. Why does she care so much about him?

Whether he can understand her motives or not, he does appreciate it. Having another person to face these hardships with, someone who has his back through the toughest battles and his lowest moments, he's never had that before. Or maybe, it's just something he's missed. It's strange, how she is able to comfort him. Not just because of her tranquil power, it isn't necessarily her calming aura that puts his mind to rest… there's something deeper, something that tugs at his chest and pulls him to her. This longing to be near her.

He wants to know more, ask why she's so intent on helping him, but Dove is good at avoiding questions, she's constantly guarded around him. The Destined One likely wouldn't pry as much as Wukong would in this situation, but his curiosity still kills him inside. Instead of getting his answers from her, he starts finding the answers in his head, with educated guesses. Maybe Dove was just so awe-struck by his handsomeness that she decided to help him in any way she can, on the spot. He liked that theory 😏

As their journey continues, they do warm up to each other more. Maybe they pass through a village in the midst of a celebration and Dove manages to convince the Destined One to dance with her. Sun Wukong did the same for her all those years ago. Maybe one night after setting up camp for the night, the Destined One begins to comb through her hair, not thinking too much of it since it's normal for other monkeys to preen through one another's hair, it's a show of his affection.

Dove is usually so guarded, but in that moment her walls come crumbling down. She tries to push down her silent sobs, but it's difficult. Sun Wukong was the last person to go through her hair like this, and the simple action brings back so many fond memories. When he realises she's crying, he stops but she grabs his hand before he can fully pull away.

"Don't stop, please. It's okay, I'm… I'm okay."

Maybe he pulls her close after that, holding her in his arms as she does the same. There's so much pain in her heart, and all he wants is to take it away. The only question is, how?

By the end of the game where the Destined One gains all of Wukong's memories, so many of Dove's actions become clear to him. She can see in his eyes when he looks at her, a new hint recognition in his features as she realises who she really is, who she was to Sun Wukong.

Even by this point, Dove is conflicted over her feelings for the Destined One. She's come to love him throughout their journey, but is it the same love? Or is there some part of her brain convincing her it has to be the same, that this is the same man she fell in love with. Does she love this new Monkey King, or the memory he represents?

If one thing is for certain, the Destined One is confident in his feelings for her. Even before receiving those memories, he had been falling for Dove with every moment they spent together. If anything, these memories only make his love for her stronger, knowing what they've been through in a past life, how she stayed by him through this new journey because of their past.

…But he can't be sure whether she feels the same. Not when he still doesn't know if he is Sun Wukong, or just holds his memories now. It's something they'd have to work through and figure out together, but one thing is for certain. Dove doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon.

[ratcash-wasgud]

hi! i just came by your work last night, loved it! stayed up reading it! 11/10 *cheff kiss* Are you up for a petition? maybe another mizuxreader, perhaps villainxhero kinda situation. the reader could be one of the money/sex hungry affiliated with the white man (not a white men herself but like a lap dog of someone with higher power than Abijah Fowle). instead of mizu taking Fowler she takes the *reader*, keeps her alive and makes her speak 7u7 maybe scream. they end up helping each other in the end after much fighting. ofc adding some nsfw there pfff if that wasnt obvious.

hope you see this! lmfao

Omg, yes!! Genius. This set something ablaze inside me (especially since I love witty villain characters). I was thinking about making this a one shot tho, but if yall want a second part tell me, and i'll try. Try. Anyways, this'll be more lighthearted than my other works. Oh, and I'm sorry if this isn't how you imagined the story to go. I interpreted some of the originaly show's story, but mostly I just wen't along with what's the easiest to get my own story going, and I probably got some cannon info wrong too, but please don't yell at me lmao.

Btw!! I'm really glad i got a request!! So thank you! If anyone has any other ideas, I'd be glad to try and working with it!!

Okay, enjoy!!

ℕ𝕖𝕜𝕠 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕖𝕤𝕥.

When Mizu pulled up to tea with Heji Shindou, instead of the half-blad old guy, she was faced with you. Some woman in strange clothing. It seemed like it was a mix of western clothing, and some japanese casual wear. You even had your hair down, letting it flow freely. How unusual.

"Ah, the infamous samurai who is tearing through anyone in his way!" You say with a smirk on your face, opening up your arms. "Come, come. Oh, and I see you've bought a dog too." You add, looking smugly at Taigen.

"How dare-" He starts, but gets shut down by Mizu quickly, and the two follow you to sit down.

"So, I've heard you're after the white men, huh?" You say, not sitting on your knees, but sitting down criss-cross style. "Why? What is it that you're after? Money?" You ask, starting to pour some tea.

"I don't need things like that. I have a vow. I swore revenge." Mizu says simply. "And what is it that you need from me?"

"Oh, nada." You shrug. "I'm just willing to offer a deal." You shoot the both of them a smirk. "I'd love to have that fat bastard dead too! My loyalty isn't with him at all!" You say it like it's the most exciting thing ever. "You see, that sack of shit has everything in the world! Money, power, connections...and he's still complaining! Ha! Meaning, he doesn't deserve it." You say as you lift your tea and take a sip. "I, on the other hand, would take much better care of his privilages."

"So you want me to kill him so you can take his place?" Mizu asks, highly suspicious. She glances at Taigen, who is still giving you a dirty look for your comment from earlier.

"Yap." You nod, tossing down your cup. "Fowler wouldn't be an easy target, so without my help, you could already start planning your funeral." You say, but now a small dangerous glint appears in your eyes.

"And why should I trust you?" Mizu asks, her eyes narrowing at you, but your smirk doesn't falter.

"You shouldn't. Didn't you mother tell you not to trust strangers?" You say with a chuckle and Mizu rewards it with a small glare. A small, but cold one. "Still, it's up to you. Do you wanna kill that bastard so much you're willing to take the risk?"

"And how do we know this is not an ambush? That you won't just kill us if we say no?" Taigen cuts in, putting his hands on the table which you reward with your smile getting smugger.

"Oh, please." You put your hands up in defense. "You really think I'd waste weapons and men on you?" You say, looking him straight in the eye. "And besides, you won't say no." You look back at Mizu. "My deal has only benefits for you. You'll just have to gulp down some self respect."

Mizu raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" She can't deny, having someone close to Fowler himself helping her would be a huge positive, but...you just seem so sly. Like a cat.

"Ah, you see, I can get you inside Fowler's little residence." You stand up to pull of a blanket off a big barrel. "You'd fit inside quite well. You're a scrawny thing anyways." You say with a taunting smirk.

"It's a trap!" Taigen says to Mizu right away, but Mizu seems unfazed and steps closer. "How exactly would you get me inside?"

"Aw, I wanted that one to be a surprise." You say with a mock pout. "Fowler thinks I'm out getting a good deal on sake, and I kinda am." You take the barrel's to of, revealing that it's half full of sake. "I'd have you delivered right to his nose."

"You'd die." Taigen cuts in again, and Mizu can see your eye twitch at that.

"Could you shut your lil' pet up? The adults are talking." You say, your smirk disappearing.

"She's obviously untrustworthy!" Taigen draws his sword on a whim, but he's met with a revolver to his head right away.

"Don't try that shit with me." You say, tilting your head at him, but you then seel Mizu's blade at your nape. "Touché." You mutter.

"So what now?" You ask with a smirk breaking out on your face again. "Kill me and lose your only chance at killing the man you swore to slay down? Ha! Go on then." You say, glancing over at your shoulder at her, and you see Mizu tense up.

Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your head and you fall to the ground. Mizu hit you with the hilt of her blade, stripping you of your conciousness.

The next thing you see is a capmfire and a siluette around you. As you blink a lot to clear your vision, you notice Mizu and as you look down, ropes around you. She tied you up.

"So you didn't kill me after all." You say out loud, getting Mizu's attention. "The other guy? The one with a bald spot and a funny glare. The dog." You look around.

"Away." Mizu shrugs simply. It's the truth though, Ringo is away in a nearby town, getting supplements for the road, and she left Taigen with a promise of a later duel.

"So...What is you plan now, big bad samurai? Try and torture me into telling you shit? Ha!" You say, wriggling in the ropes.

"I'm planning to exchange you for information." Mizu says simply, staring at the campfire. "I'm sure Heji Shindo would like to have you back."

You grit your teeth. "That old fucker doesn't give a shit about anything but his money and his dick. I'm sure that power hungry bastard is happy I'm gone." You say, scoffing. "But go on, try." Suddenly, you realize something. "What did you do with my gun?" You ask in a hurry, trying to feel around at your hilt.

Suddenly, Mizu lifts your gun, holding it between two fingers. "This?" She asks, looking at you from the corner of her eyes.

"Don't you dare lose it! I want it back when you're done with me!" You stomp your foot as much as you can.

"You know, for someone talking so big earlier, you're quite pissy now." Mizu says, rolling her eyes and you huff in response.

Then...as you glanced back at the fire, you noticed a small pot, boiling. You tried to lift yourself to see what's in it, but the ropes didn't allowed you to.

"...if I starve to death, I'm just gonna be a waste, you know." You mumble under your nose, and Mizu snorts. She then reaches for the pot, and pours out some what seems like soup into a small bowl and she puts it beside you.

You stare at the bowl, your eye twitching. "I can't reach it." You say, your eyebrows creasing together and she just looks at you with a small, amused grin.

"Huh." She says, leaning back on her hands. "Really?" She taunts you. Oh, this woman is horrible. Fine, you think. In one swift motion, you move your leg as much as you're able, and kick the bowl, spilling it all on Mizu.

Mizu's eyes widen and she looks down on her clothes. "...oh, you little bitch." She hisses at you.

"Come, kill me then!" You stick out your tongue childishly.

"You know damn well I could!" Mizu huffs back, throwing the bowl at you.

"Ha-ha, your whole little quest depends on me!" You laugh right into her face and wriggle your legs. Mizu almost growls at you and suddenly she picks up your gun again, and holds it above the fire, threathening to drop it.

"No!" You yell out, and fall forward, and bite into her ankle. Mizu yanks her leg away with a hiss and reaches down to pull you up by your collar.

"Okay, what's your fucking deal?" She says from behind greitted teeth.

"What's yours?" You ask right back, snarling right back at her. "If you'd wanted to kill me, you'd have done it by now. So, want me to talk? Earn it!" You say, getting closer to her face, trying to stand your ground.

"The fuck you want?" Mizu tosses you away, and sits at a reasonable distance from you. "To have Fowler dead? Then just tell me how to get in, and where he is!"

"I want you to untie me, and hand me back my gun!" You demand, and lift your nose, refusing to look at her.

"What's so great about this gun anyways?" Mizu picks up the gun again and looks at it more closely. It's obviously a western gun with a leather grip and engravings along it's barrel in the form of some kind of bird.

You scoff in response. "That was my first gun. It's special." You say like it's the most obvious thing ever. "I will bring it with me when I finally travel aboard, away from this stuck-in-the-past land."

"Huh?" Mizu raises her eyebrows. "You wanna leave Japan? For what?" She asks mockingly.

"Because! This place isn't wide enough for my potential! After Fowler is out of the picture, I will visit take his money and go to London. Start a new life and all. I will really bloom there." You say, rolling onto your back. "People will understand me there."

Mizu narrows her eyes. "I don't think people in Japan are the problem, you're just a common lunatic." That earns a chuckle from you.

"Says the guy who is set out to kill four men he doesn't know shit about." You says, glancing at her, and Mizu can't help herself, cracks a smirk.

"You have guts to talk back to your captor, you know." She says and lifts her eyebrows in amusement. She glances up at the sky too. The stars are very bright tonight.

"You won't kill me." You say, tilting your head so that you're looking straight at her. It's just now that she notcied how nicely the stars reflect in your eyes. Your eyes now look calm, and they don't have any slyness, or mischief in them at the moment. "It wouldn't benefit you." You shrug. "And torturing me would be useless. Pain passes."

"Say," Mizu starts, looking back at the fire. "You said that you're not loyal to Fowler. So who are you loyal to?"

"Me." You say withouth hesitation. "The one who I want the best for and I trust the most is myself. I'm not loyal to any old, egostical bastard with money, like most people in this country are." Say say it with disgust. "I never was and never will be loyal to anyone else, but me."

Mizu scoffs. "What are you, a stray cat?" She asks with a hint of amusement as she looks down at you. "That just makes you even more untrustworty."

You scoff back. "Who said that I want to be trustwhorty?" You ask, rolling your eyes. "Plus, I'm free. Well, not yet, but I will be. And it's not like you can say the same."

Mizu can't help but snicker. "Is that it? Freedom? I'm free enough, thank you."

"Naaaaah." You shake your head. "You're tied down by your own revenge. It tells you where to go, what to see, what to feel...if I told you where's Fowler, you'd get going by tomorrow. Even if I told you you'd die, you'd still go. Not because you want to die, but because that's the only thing you know. Revenge and rage. You'd jump in the well if I said Fowler's at the bottom of it." You say boldly, and look her straight in the eyes before you smirk slyly.

"You think you know everything, huh?" Mizu frowns and gets up to you, grabbing you by the hair. "You know nothing of me. I need this. I will throw my life away if I have to, to finish what I've started, so I won't think twice about taking yours too."

"You're all talk about killing me. Deep down, you know you need me." You taunt her. "You won't find that bastard withouth me. I work under his arm, I could get you there soooo easily, but you're throwing it away because you get too emotional." Your smirk gets even more smug. You kinda look like a cat, Mizu notices again. A cat that has just pushed off something expensive off a shelf, breaking it, and knowing it too.

Mizu noticed that sometimes you force that smugness into your little smirks. She sees it because the corners of your lips twitch. In reality, you are scared of her, but you'd rather die than let her see that. She never met a woman like you. She doesn't know how you got to the place you are, but she respects it. And still, you kow she could take your life. You're tied up, tripped of your weapons and vulnerable, yet you still taunt her. You're very annoying but somehow she can't help but admire your bravery. But the moment you're cornerned into a corner, you hiss and scratch.

After that, she lets you go and walks to be at a good six and a half feet away from you before she lays down, and decides to sleep withouth another word. Not much time passes when Mizu stays sleepless, but she hears you snore. And for some reason, she can't help but smile. You breathe through your mouth when you sleep. It's kind of cute.

The next couple of days are spent with Mizu travelling with Ringo and Taigen, and she drags you along too. Literally. She drags you while you're tied up. During those days, you managed to talk to Ringo a lot. Most of the time he's the one who's assigned to watch over you, and it doesn't seem like he has even as much as a mean bone in his body. You could even call some of your conversations pleasent. The other two on the other hand...you sometimes talk to Mizu and you two always end up in a neck to neck situation. Mizu wants to get you to talk, but she hasn't hurt you yet. She just always threathens you, yells and curses. You just flat out insult her at every chance you get though. It's not because you hate her, persay, but because you find it funny. You're being held captive after all, you need to use every chance you get to have fun.

Currently, you are left alone for the first time in weeks, as the others left your outside of town while they get something done. When you're sure they're out of seeing and hearing range, you start to rub the ropes on your wrist against a bigger rock you've found, trying to "saw" through it. When that irritating thing finally snaps, and you begind to get yourself free, you suddenly hear a very menacing sound from behind.

"The fuck are you doing?" You turn your head and see Mizu, glaring and gripping her sword. Fuck, you think and as she charges at you. You quickly throw away the rest of your ropes, and dogde out of the way. You didn't got to where you are now withouth knowing how to stand your ground, and defending yourself...and knowing how to cheat, of course.

You jump to your feet and get behind Mizu, and with one swift, forward kick to her side, you don't just get her to grunt and almost fall, you also send your gun flying from her side. By now, you've learned that that's where she keeps it. You're still just happy she didn't outright get rid of it. As the gun slides on the cold ground, you jump after it while Mizu regains her composure, and finally obtain it once again.

"Yes!" You silently cheer to yourself and point the gun at Mizu, who just looks at you, her blade covering half her face.

You gulp. Do you really wanna fire at Mizu? Kill her even? You did kinda want to kill her and betray her at first, but now you're...not sure. Sure, she's an asshole but...over those days as being her captive, you learned some things about her...she's not as heartless and cold. She fed you herself, she managed to keep you safe, even if she kept you in robes, and she just wants revenge...she even kept your gun safe.

But you can't show weakness. That's not what you stand for, so you shoot, but aim at her leg. She dodges of course, and manages to pin you down with her blade at your neck, but your gun at her stomach.

You just stare at her eachother, panting, not sure who's gonna kill who first. Mizu stares into your eyes, seeing her own reflection in them. Suddenly she notices that familiar glint in them, and how you swallow while panting, and how nose moves when you take a deep breath...and she feels her stomach fluttering. With adrenaling flowing through her veins and her skin haven't feeling contact with someone else's for so long, she makes a decision. A quick, and a little foolish one.

She pushes her lips against yours, her eyes closing and her breathing speeding up even more. And to her biggest surprise...you kiss back right away. It's all happening so fast. One minute you're nearly killing eachother, and in the other, you're passionately making out with her hands under your clothes, feeling your skin with your weapons thrown to the side.

"Asshole. You fired at me." Mizu mumbles into the kiss, her hands firmly feeling up the skin on your sides, while you rin your hands down her spine.

"Dickhead. You kept me tied up for weeks." You mumble back, gently biting into her lower lip, which Mizu rewards with a small gasp. Suddenly, she feels your hands under her clothes too.

"I knew it." You whisper. "A man could never have a soul like yours." You say and pull her back into a kiss. You feel her knees between your legs, pushing at your core, and in response you squeeze one of her breasts. Mizu starts to get rid of your clothes one by one, and as she does that, you quickly strip her of her own too.

Mizu's slander fingers slowly travel to your slit, but as she does, you grip her wrist and stop her. "No." You mumble. "Not like this." You flip her over (not easily though, she fights back even now), and look down at her naked form, quickly throwing away her chest bindings too.

"Fuck..." You mumble as you carefully align your core with hers, your clits touching, and moving together with every breath. And as you start to move gently, holding yourself up on your hands next to her head, you can hear her moan. She grinds back against yours, your juices mixing together. Even in this moment, it's as if you're both fighting for dominance. You don't know when will Mizu just reach up and choke you to death, but honestly? That's the best part.

You feel her hands around you, one clawing at your back, the other on your jaw...then cheeks, then lips, then the last thing you know is that she's forcing a finger inside of your mouth while you quietly moan and bite down on it. In response you push harder against her, almost squishing her clit with yours, which end in a louder moan from both of you.

"Can't...can't fucking take it..." Mizu moans, pushing her finger deeper inside your mouth before she retreats it, and uses her other hand to pull on your hair instead.

"What? Gonna cum? Ha." You manage to murmur out, not being able to stop your hips, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge too.

"You...fucking wish...ah!" Mizu's whole body twitches as you angle yourself a little differently, giving a whole new sensation to both of you, making you bite into her shoulder while she grips a handful of your hair thightly. And with that, a louder, choked back moan escpaed from both of you...being in perfect balance with eachother, and reaching your climax at the same time.

You stay there, just quietly panting and laying there, on top of eachother in silence for a while. You ahve your face burried into Mizu's neck, basking in her scent while Mizu still has her hand in your hair, feeling it's texture against her cheek.

"...you gotta go through a tunnel." You mumble.

"What?" Mizu perk up, lifting your head by your hair to look into your eyes.

"To get into Fowler's castle. You gotta go through a tunnel that is like...twenty steps away from the road's end and is filled to the brim with traps." You mumble, having your eyes open only halfway. "You gotta head East after you leave the last small village before the forest."

Mizu takes all that in. Now she knows how to get there...now she knows everything. "So that's what it took you to talk? For me to fuck you?"

"I fucked you." You say with a huff and get off of her, putting your clothes back on. "Well, I guess you got what you wanted, and I'm free too." You say, not really sure why. There are no ropes holding you back anymore, so...íthis is your cue to leave, isn't it?

"Wait, where are you going?" Mizu sits up, looking after you.

"Back to Fowler." You shrug. "I'm still his right hand. He probably sent men to find me." You sigh as you finish dressing up. "See you...at the castle." You say, look at her above your shoulder.

"..." Mizu narrows her eyes. "Fuck you." She spits.

"Check." You put on that so familiar smug smirk and hold up a thumbs up. "Spare me a seat in the audience when you cut his head off." You wave as you start walking away.

"...like a fucking stray cat." Mizu sighs, and before you dissappear, the last thing she sees is your wink.

[hawkinasock]

TELL US ABOUT YOUR OTHER AUS (IF ABLE AND WILLING AND YOU WANT TO) ‼️‼️‼️

Tread carefully, Anon... Once I start yapping, I can't stop (jokes on you tho, I love yapping. Let's go)

I assume you mean aus for HSR specifically? I've got a lot more for genshin, but to stop myself from going on massive tangents, I'll just stick to HSR. I'll keep them all as summaries and go into more depth if there's any interest. Ok here we go:

Chimera Yanqing has kinda become my whole thing now, but I've never actually mentioned the other characters that I've also made chimera forms for. Namely Jing Yuan.

He doesn't really have any lore...? Unlike Yanqing, I was too focused on making him look pretty, which is easy because it's Jing Yuan. I'll make an update if I add anything more to his lore, cause I'd hate to just leave him unfinished forever. I do have a chimera Yunli au too, which I'll also save for another time. (Also keep in mind that he has wayyyy more fur than what I've shown. It just would've made his actual form unclear. He is very, very fluffy, canonically)

Mara-struck Yanqing (aka How the general ate the cabbage). Made a whole fic for this one, the plot is in the pudding, and by pudding I mean my ao3 lol. Instead of deflecting Jingliu's ult, Yanqing is instead killed and mara-stricken, and everything falls apart from there. Keeping it vague since it's still in progress. As of writing this, I'm three chapters in, so check it out if you're interested <3

Band au. I actually forgot about this one until I went through my list. Basically, It's a modern au where the high cloud quintet were a huge band back in ye olden days of the mid 1980s until their downfall, where the lead singer (Baiheng) is killed in an accident, triggering a series of unfortunate fates for 3 of the 4 remaining members. Jing Yuan is the only member still working in the industry and adopted Yanqing roughly 20 years after the the HCQ's fallout. One day, though, after years of no contact, Blade comes back into Jing Yuan's life, seeking refuge from law enforcement, and it all tumbles out of control from there after Jing Yuan accepts. The rest of the story would follow a very suspicious Yanqing wondering what the deal is with his dad's weird new boyfriend, and eventually reuniting the 4 remaining members (getting the band back together, as Phineas would say). There is SO much lore for this one, but it would take up this entire post to explain, so I'll probably just make it into its own post (with designs ofc). Tbh I haven't done as much work on this one as the others simply because I just don't know that much about music? Zel does though, so if I ever come back to it, I can go to him as a consultant.

Kind of an odd one, but I'm including it since it sorta counts, and I've become pretty fond of it over time. Mom Lumine au(s) Xiaother being Yanqing's dads is one of my favorite little crack aus. This au is the brainchild of imagining Yanqing as Lumine's child instead, but me as the author not enjoying xiaolumi as much. Thus, this was born. There's not really a story? Just a bunch of loosely put together concepts with multiple potential narratives that I find fun. Most of the time I default Childe as Yanqing's bio dad. In a weird way, it makes sense in my head? Yanqing resembles Lumine and uses a sword, and has that same go-getting, battle-hungry attitude as Childe, with all the knock-outs to boot. I mainly imagine chilumi as this interstellar crime duo; the Bonnie and Clyde of space, if you will. Because, honestly, if Yanqing's parents are ever to be revealed, would it not be the funniest thing for them to turn out to be criminals? I think it's hilarious, because Yanqing himself would be mortified.

Guardian Blade/Stellaron Hunter Yanqing au. These names are kinda lazy cause I usually don't make official titles for them unless their a fic, which this one happens to be. Here, Yanqing is an abomination of abundance, and as my interpretation usually goes, the only person who knows about this is Jing Yuan. Him and one other - blade, who was confided in the secret shortly after Jing Yuan had taken baby Yanqing in. Jing Yuan made Blade promise that, should the truth ever be uncovered and Jing Yuan punished, Blade is to take Yanqing and protect him. And years down the line, when the truth does finally reveal itself, Blade fulfills his promise. Theoretically, Yanqing would then join the stellaron hunters, albeit unenthusiastically. I haven't actually made any plans for that concept outside of a single one-shot. I still need to finish the actual fic first lmao.

Mara-struck Jing Yuan au. Probably the least original one I have to offer, because there's nothing particularly unique about it aside from one little twist I added that I think differentiates it, and that's that Yanqing doesn't actually kill Jing Yuan, or vice versa. Instead, Jing Yuan, in his current state, attacks everyone and everything except for Yanqing, and actually goes out of his way to keep Yanqing away from danger. The way I rationalize this (and this is me stretching the mara lore a LOT) is that Yanqing is so important to Jing Yuan that he creates a sort of blind spot to the mara when present; he is both innately precious and harbors only positive memories in Jing Yuan's mind, so in a way, he retroactively contradicts the way mara-struck!Jing Yuan would normally perceive him, seeing Yanqing as something to protect rather than attack (i hope that made any sense </3). This would probably never actually happen in canon. I just really like the idea of Jing Yuan's love for his son being so strong that it stays with him even after he's gone mad and can no longer remember what Yanqing means to him.

Progenitor au. Saved this one for last because it's been occupying my entire brain for the past few days. It's based on Dillongoo's Progenitor Albedo series, and by based, I mean it's just the same au, same universe and everything, but HSR. I won't go into the details because I'm planning to make it its own dedicated post as well, but I think its safe to say its becoming my favorite au out of all of these. I already have some designs and original lore cooked up, so hopefully I can post about it soon.

I think that's all of them? Debatable if some of these even count as aus, but who cares. I hope you enjoyed my rambles and found my ideas interesting enough to read through. I'm hoping to eventually give them some more life and make actual content with them.

Till next time <3

[amusingmusie]

Is Evie canon to the Yours Truly universe? I absolutely love her already, and I can only imagine the kind of hell she put poor Nel through growing up. Al would be so proud. Good on Nel for starting a law firm, too! That’s our queen!!!

But also the general heartbreak that Nel must have felt as every day Evie looked a little bit more like the man Nel thought she knew. Just looking at her daughter one day only to see someone completely different but so familiar staring back. :(

I’m also so curious how the realization that Nel was pregnant went down. Not well probably. Was it before or after Al died? How would Al have reacted if he was alive (He very clearly didn’t want kids). How on earth would he have behaved around a pregnant Nel?? Also not well probably.

And of course I can’t forget about the extended family. Where’s Grace, my beloved, in all of this??? The absolute agent of chaos that she is, she and Evie would cause so much havoc — I just know it. And I can’t tell if Marie would be ecstatic up in heaven or rolling around in her grave at the news lol. I’m assuming by this point in time she’d have passed away, but to know she just missed the big news — damn. Poor Grandma Marie. Nobody thought Al had it in him 😔

Sorry for the giant block of text lol. I adore Evie and she’s got my brain in overdrive rn. Your writing is amazing, and Yours Truly is genuinely such a wonderful read! Also don’t feel pressured to answer any of the questions if you don’t want to or if it’s spoiler territory — I just had to get all that off my chest :)

Stay safe out there and take care of yourself!!

No PLEASE send me asks about Evie I fucking love her and barely ever get to talk about her because I've kept her so private for so long!

Evie is "canon" to Yours Truly but not in the way you might think. She is never going to be born, she doesn't exist, but she will eventually have a small cameo in a later chapter. The rest is a mysteryyyyyyy for now. However, I love thinking about the au where she's alive since I LOVE family drama and angst.

The girl is a menace. She's a strange mix of Darla Dimple, Jessica Lovejoy, and Heather Chandler but also can be oddly endearing? There’s a strange innocence to her. Yes, she did stab that man but she hugs her momma extra tight when that haunted look comes over her face. There are a lot of layers to the silly gay girl that VERY few people will ever see let alone notice and process.

If Al was around for Nel actually being knocked up and aware of it, he'd be annoyingly overbearing. 100% he'd treat her like she's made of glass even though she's trying to bite his throat out for being so condescending. It would be a giant clusterfuck of Nel randomly crying cuz her hormones are raging and she’s too big to bend over and buckle her shoes, and then Alastor is staring at her like she’s insane because it’s Nel, crying. They’d make it work though. Well, in another universe at least, because in the drabble-I-posted-verse uuuhh….he wasn’t really around to know that he has a child kicking around on earth.

But heeeeey she and Grace are BFFS! They definitely gang up on Nel together while she smokes 28 packs of cigs with a thirst for blood in her eyes. Little shits of a feather flock together.

If Marie was around, she would SPOIL that child. Her only grandchild, and a little girl??? Whatever Evie desired Marie would deliver and you wouldn’t be able to tell that child no without her granny defending her. It’s probably for the best that they never met since Evie would be worse than she already is.

Thanks for asking more about her cuz I like to yap :D I can't really say too too much since I don't wanna accidentally spoil YT, but man do I adore this strange child of whimsy.

[starlightkun]

sorry if you've gotten this ask before aljrksjd

you don't have to answer this, but I just wanted to know how you write longform fics or just long pieces in general. it's one of the things I've struggled with as a writer, and I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how I could go about it or do it.

I'd be so grateful if you could provide some advice or suggestions 🥹🥹

i want u to know that i saw this ask when u sent it, but i had a 5hr drive today and wanted to make sure i had time to answer this!! it's under the cut bc i yapped a bit <33

so one thing that i feel the need to say up top is that i never go into pieces with a "goal" length/word count (often times my fics end up being longer than i expected/intended). because i never really write with the goal of a specific length in mind, these are things that i think have helped me write more cohesive and narratively fulfilling pieces in general, which tends to make my fics longer

my first thing is planning/outlining!! i used to just write my fics start to finish in one go with little to no planning, and since i've started slowing down and taking my time outlining/planning beforehand (and even during the drafting process i continue adding to my outline), i've seen the average lengths of my fics go up a lot. you don't have to have every single scene, moment, and piece of dialogue planned out before start writing (lord knows i never do), but you should have a pretty good idea of the major story beats, character dynamics, and any important conflicts, and make sure it's written down in a way that's easy for you to refer back to while you write. never think you're gonna keep it all in your head

build out your characters' lives!! i love introducing a good b-plot involving the main character's friends (see: strawberry sunday) that doesn't take too much attention away from the main plot that it seems out of place, but instead complements the main plot and allows there to be space in between those major plot beats for the readers and the characters to breathe. it also helps make your characters feel more well-rounded and real to the readers if you throw in a scene of their daily life at school or work or with their friends/family both to add texture to them but also to your world. it can also be good to use an establishing scene towards the beginning of their daily life, then a similar one towards to the end that shows any character development, or some other impactful change that happened during your story. instead of just telling us that everything in your character's life changed, show us how it did (or didn't! or maybe it only changed a little, but the little change was important, too)

in a similar vein, build out your world!! im not saying to spend ten pages describing an intricate magic system to us that has little bearing on the plot itself, but feel free to weave in extra details about where/when we are and how the characters interact (or dont!) with the world around them (even if its our normal old world in the modern day)

and i mean i guess my last thing that's really helped me is just sort of getting out my head when it comes to writing? like, not forcing myself to write everyday, not having any sort of word count goals, no posting schedule, etc. just letting myself sit with my ideas for a while and really play around and have fun with them. it's made writing fic something that i look forward to doing when i come from work, or when the weekend is approaching, and i genuinely am making probably my favorite things that i've ever made right now. and they happen to be pretty long!!

i've talked some more about my writing process in some other asks (x, x, x, x, x, x) and i have a writing tag where i post about more general writing stuff if you want to hear me yap some more

[blueindigo17]

hi writeblr!! it's nice to meet you!!

I’ve had this blog for years but never posted anything bc to be honest I was a little afraid of tumblr when I first joined, but recently I decided that since I like talking about my wips so much to my friends/family irl, why not blog about them? I also want to find some writing mutuals, since I like hearing about people’s stories just as much as I like telling them about mine. Feel free to interact, follow, message, etc. I love making friends :D

About me <3

I go by Blue or BlueIndigo online, so feel free to use either of those :)

My pronouns are she/her

I’m 19, which also happens to be my favorite number :)

I have five (sort of six?) wips and over a hundred characters. I may have a problem.

I am a BIG swiftie (favorite albums are 1989 TV and TTPD), and I listen to a lot of Sabrina Carpenter, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, 5SOS, The Scarlet Opera, Chappell Roan, and Gracie Abrams.

I love reading!! My favorite books are Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid (my fav author) and She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen.

I've played ukulele for a few years, and I recently started learning guitar. there's a greater than zero chance I might post any music things in the future. ig we'll see.

I have a thing where my wip titles have to make good acronyms or I don’t use them. idk why either.

I can and will talk your ear off if you let me lol. #blueindigo says things for non-wip related stuff <3

tag games are an ABSOLUTE YES my personal brand of yapping is answering questions

I like to write…

Realistic/contemporary fiction

Young adult/new adult

LGBTQ+ characters

Coming of age

Romance

Friend groups/found family

otherwise just people being people :)

More about my wips below !!

My WIPs

Never Have We Ever (NHWE)

Tags: #wip: never have we ever #wip: NHWE

Summary: Liz has the best friends a girl could ask for. Harley, Mikey, and Natasha have been her people since elementary school, and Trevor and Amanda since middle school. Their whole lives, things have been pretty much the same. Same kids in their classes every year. Same streets between the same houses. Same, same, same. At the end of her freshman year of high school, just about when Liz is wondering how much same she could possibly handle, she catches Trevor’s eye as he laughs at someone’s joke, and something deep inside her lights up. Something she doesn’t know what to do with. Something she can't push back down once it comes barreling up to the surface. So much for same. After that, things can’t stop changing. And not just in her own life—her friend group starts pulling apart at the seams. Harley begins withdrawing from everyone with no explanation. Mikey gets in bigger trouble with his dad than ever. Natasha only has a year before she has to move off to college. Amanda is stuck between the person she is and the person the world wants her to be. Trevor seems to have gotten off easy, but Liz can’t be around him for more than a minute without falling head over heels all over again. In this collection of short stories, Liz has to wonder if the change of pace she thought she wanted is worth it. Sometimes it’s hard to be brave, and she’s never been the most open to change, but unfortunately, that does not stop it from happening. The only question is: what is she going to do about it?

Genres: short stories, realistic fiction, young adult, coming of age, contemporary Themes: found family, first crushes, dealing with change, growing up, maintaining friendships Characters: Liz Stanton 🩵, Harley Wilson 💚, Mikey Miller 💛, Natasha Knightley 💜, Trevor Marshall ❤️, Amanda Hamilton 🩷

NHWE is my oldest WIP, started on December 16, 2019. It’s been on ice lately, since the plot has gone through so many changes that I haven’t known what to do with it in a while, but one of my goals with posting about it is to warm myself back up to it. I think writing that summary was a good place to start. Wish me luck :D

The Together List (TTL)

Tags: #wip: the together list #wip: TTL

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for? The world, it seems. Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear. Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships Characters: Audrey Marshall 💙, Logan Levine 🧡, Lennon Adler 💛, McKinley March 💜, Aspen Brady ❤️, Levi Jackson 💚

TTL was created on August 18, 2021. I saw a post on Pinterest of someone's summer bucket list and that sounded like such a fun thing to do with friends that I had to write about it. Two and a half-ish years later, TTL has also gone through many changes, so I'm sort of trying to refresh it now. I'm very excited to see where it takes me!

(Fun fact: the main character, Audrey, is the older sister of Trevor from NHWE!)

The Violet Sisters Club (TVSC)

Tags: #wip: the violet sisters club #wip: TVSC

Summary: The Violet Sisters Club, a world famous all-female pop rock band, is facing a very public lawsuit from a former hotheaded manager over their most recent album. Following the conclusion of their case, lead singer Naomi Tyler, drummer Inez Wilde, guitarist Chrissy Cameron, and bassist Francesca Sheridan escape to the luxurious Overlook Estate, a privately owned rental property on an island off the southern coast of California. Here, they can spend the summer out of the public eye, writing songs they don’t need to worry about releasing and letting the public wonder what they’re up to as they let the tension out of their muscles. With a property four times the size of Alcatraz Island and a beach over a mile long, the Overlook offers the band a respite from the go, go, go of touring, the privacy invasion of paparazzi, and the exhaustion of being micromanaged every minute of every day. Four pools, seven hot tubs, the aforementioned private beach, a high tech recording studio (just in case), a few golf carts just to get around the property and a Jeep to get to town. It’s unimaginably expensive, it’s incomprehensibly big, and it’s everything they need. But this escape may not be the relaxing California beach paradise they imagined. Soon, it becomes hard to hide how much the stress of fame was eating away at each of them—emotions run high, patiences run thin, days run long, nights run longer, and the strength of the band is questioned as the girls’ insecurities and anxieties bubble to the surface after a lifetime in the spotlight.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, literary fiction Themes: fame, music, romance, found family, secrets, breakups Characters: Naomi Tyler (lead singer, songwriter) 💜, Inez Wilde (drummer, vocalist, songwriter) 🩷, Chrissy Cameron (guitarist, vocalist, songwriter) 💙, Francesca Sheridan (bassist, vocalist, songwriter) 💚

TVSC was created on February 5, 2023, but the characters have been around almost as long as TTL. Initially, I created the Violet Sisters Club as a fictional band that would exist within The Together List, but at some point I couldn't get the idea of a TVSC-focused novel out of my head. I'm glad I never did, because some of my favorite ideas I've ever had have gone into TVSC. If I could have one wish, it would be for all of TVSC's songs to be real so I could listen to them without having to write them first.

Now That We Don’t Talk (NTWDT)

Tags: #wip: now that we don’t talk #wip: NTWDT

Summary: There are two important things to know about Hazel Henry and Saiah Bradford.  One: They kinda-sorta hate each other after they broke up last year at prom. (The same prom that ended with the school almost burning down and Hazel's twin brother's best friend going to the hospital. Bad memories all around.) Two: Someone on the planning committee for their senior class trip must be out to get them, because when they arrive at the hotel, they find out they’ve been assigned to the same room. This should have been impossible; Saiah requested to be paired with her best friend, Tory, who's going to have some explaining to do later, and Hazel would bet her life on the fact that she requested a room alone. Now, for the next two weeks, they’re both stuck in the same narrow room with its little square bathroom and practically-nonexistent privacy. The air conditioner turns on at random times, they seem to be paired together for every single scheduled activity, and perhaps worst of all—their friends all seem to find this situation absolutely hilarious.  But it’s just two weeks, right? It’ll be over before they know it, and soon they can both go back to pretending their relationship—and each other—never existed. Right? Right? Happy senior year to them. 

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, romance Themes: reconciliation, romance, friendship, forgiveness, guilt, regrets, family, growing up Characters: Hazel Henry 🩷, Nick Henry 💙, Saiah Bradford 💚, Tory Whitehouse 💛

NTWDT was created on October 18, 2023. Hilariously, I came up with the plot after making Hazel and Saiah in the Sims, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about them whenever I wasn't playing. As I do with every character I create, I became obsessed with them, and now here we are. And in case you're wondering, yes, I named it after the Taylor Swift song lol.

Trouble In Paradise (TIP)

Tags: #wip: trouble in paradise #wip: TIP

Summary: Sixteen years ago, Joe Alexander and Ben King drove across the US in the pursuit of Joe's true love. Today, Joe is preparing to move out of his and his ex-wife's house and drive across the country once more, joined by his daughter, Bryce, and his best friend/his daughter's biological father, Ben. It's all familiar—the long stretches of empty fields, collapsing onto a cheap hotel bed for the night, never being able to decide where to stop for food—and yet, Joe has no idea what he's in for.  This is a story of two cross-country road trips, and the lives that one woman is able to ruin in between. Joe Alexander and Ben King have both lost their entire worlds to Lilly Alexander. But the ones they’ve gained after her might be—in some weird, unconventional way—a little better.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, adult fiction, literary fiction Themes: reconciliation, moving on, guilt, parenting, cheating, manipulation, mental illness, past sexual assault Characters: Joe Alexander, Ben King, Bryce Alexander, Lilly Alexander

TIP is technically my newest WIP, since I came up with the full plot earlier this year (February 13, 2024). I've had the vague idea of it for just over a year, but I didn't quite know what to do with it until recently. It's definitely more mature with its topics than my other wips, as you might be able to tell by the themes, but I really like the concept and I've had a lot of fun plotting it so far, even if it's a little out of my comfort zone.

(Fun fact: the original title way back when the characters didn't even have last names was High Infidelity, after the Taylor Swift song, since I thought it was so thematically appropriate.)

···

OKAY I'm pretty sure I have officially run out of things to say. If you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading! Like I said earlier, feel free to interact any way you like :D

This post is sort of a masterpost for all my wips, but I'm also doing posts for each wip separately so I can go into more detail. Those are/will be linked in the title for each wip.

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/night !!

―BlueIndigo <3

[mysticmiav]

Alrighttt am close to finishing Pride & Prejudice, about 60ish pages left (am a slow reader okay and I got distracted with Manacled while reading)

Some more thoughts and a lot of yapping (and spoilers? I guess?) I've had in during my recent reads:

First of all, having watched the P&P 2005 movie first and then starting to read the book, I can't help but keep going "Oh this is different!" At some parts akdksk

I love love love the small hints in the book of Mr Darcy liking Elizabeth more and more that is visible in the book. Imma have to rewatch the movie to see how (if) they did that there, but I don't remember noticing it as visibly. In the movie, it felt a bit of a "ah so that's a thing now" while in the book, I noticed some more emphasis/mention of Darcy noticing her more and more, conversing with her, wanting to talk with her and meet her.

I died at the Rosings part when she told him of her daily walk route, assuming he'd want to avoid seeing her, but my man probably went "sweet!" And just came to see her ever since (not to mention, he might've assumed her telling him of her route was a subtle way of inviting him to come see her? Idk my man was down bad he probably took that bit of info and ran with it akfkskkw)

The little things like him moving his chair closer to her- I pretty much died.

Him wondering at whether she'd mind living at a long distance from her family- my man was practically already wondering at if they were wed, meanwhile Elizabeth is confused why he's talking to her akfkskfk

It just feels much more ahh developed? Or hinted at enough to make his feelings to her not come out of nowhere lol

And of course lets talk about the confession scene!! I combusted

I admit that I loved how they did it in the movie; I LOVED the setting (that location and that weather!! Ugh!) and the energy and the tension. Loved every bit. Not to mention how much I liked the actors and how they played the characters!

And yet, I absoloutly went nuts over how Austen did it in the book!! The tension and anger and energy all there, but it just felt more raw and visceral?? Idk how to put it. I just died and came back and died again reading and rereading that scene omg

It's getting to see the narrator mention Darcy taking her silence or lack of negative reply as encouragement to continue with his confession.

It's the earlier back and forths and their witty exchanges, which resulted in him believing them to be on the same page. Hence, the conversation about living at a far distance from her family, I take it he assumed she noticed his intention and he thought he was being rather too direct, which is why his mood changed and he pulled his chair back when he caught himself.

But ironically enough, him thinking they were on the same page and that he was being transparent with her, that she was able to see through him, all just goes to show on how different of a page they were.

It's honestly brilliant.

And that just makes the confession scene work so much better, at least for me.

Getting such a clear view of how he must have feelings for her, and how clear he thought he has been about them, and how he thinks she picked up on it, makes his confession and the tension of that scene work so well, because he really thought they were on the same page. He really expected it to go one way because of those assumptions he'd had.

And then it went so differently, and so horribly at that, that I can't help but claw at my wall aaaaaa it's so good

No wonder he got pale with rage lmao

Ohoh and when Elizabeth went "You are mistaken, Mr Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your decleration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner." And saw him start at this I DIED she went for the throat and honestly fuck yeah he needed that slap off the high horse

Even as am writing this I reread the scene for what could only be the tenth time already it's just so good aaaahhhh

(Also, I definitely understand that they probably changed the scene a bit in the movie for the sake of making it look more intresting, at least location wise; the outdoor setting and the spot it all takes place in is definitely a more visually intresting scenery to look at than a closed indoor room, and I think it does make the change of the scene work well in the movie! I still love the book version more but I totally see why and love the change was made in the movie adaptation)

Okay another point about the confession scene is how much I loved the irony in Darcy saying it must be because of how he worded his confession, in a way that slighted Elizabeth's pride because of how he mentioned her relations, that she's rejecting him, and yet he had framed his whole declaration on how it was against his better judgement that he came to like her, how he pointed it out the inferiority of her comings and family (and thereby, painting himself superior). That he's pointing out he must've hurt her pride when his whole talk stemmed from his own pride is such irony I love it

And bruh homeboi really expected her to go "whoa am so thankful you came to love me still!" ???? My man really thought she'd be flustered at him insulting her family and telling her he loves her in the same breath and he still had the audacity to pickachu-surprise-face at her own anger at his words akfksd

Okay enough of that scene, I still have a few kore things to talk about akfkjw

Next up is just how much Letters play a role in the story and even in the characters. Idk this is just a brainvomit of some of the notes I'd taken while reading, but the jest of it is the recurrence of characters sending letters as a narrative tool and, oftentimes, a way to paint certain aspects of the characters.

Elizabeth and Jane, while away from each other, both exhange letters regularly, and their correspondence is neat? I think is the word; they take the time to sit down and write to each other. When they recieve a letter, they also take the time to sit down and read it. Like when Elizabeth receives Jane's letter with the news of Lydia and Wickham, just as she and her uncle and aunt were about to leave to go on a walk, it is mentioned that instead her uncle and aunt set off to let her enjoy the letter at her own time. Just the use of the word enjoy speaks volumes to me at how Elizabeth regards these correspondences; a genuine sort of happiness and joy, and hence she likes to take the proper time to read them, and also the time to write them.

So when it says that Jane's first letter got missent somewhere due to her writing the adress remarkably ill, it's hard not to feel a shift or to know something bad must've happened. Because with how much care she usually puts into her letters, something must've caused her haste in writing the adress of that letter, so badly it was sent elswhere.

This broke a formula we kinda grew used to in those correspondences between Elizabeth and Jane, and managed to set a feeling of dread by simply taking something of that status quo and changing it. I just love it so much ugh

Darcy's letter(s) I feel like fall under a similar light; he obviously put a lot of care and time and thought into them. Gave them the time and length needed, given the importance of the content. They were very thorough and expansive, and touched on the important topics and discussed them sufficiently (lmao I feel like am giving him a critique analysis).

It shows enough of his character methinks.

Mr Collins letters, much like he himself is in person, often focus on the flattery. Of others (especially Lady Catherine) and of himself (cuz ironically, by how often he breaks his back complimenting others, he always traces it back to himself, to how he thinks of it, to how grateful he is of it, to how deserving he thinks it is, to how thoughtful he is with it). In person, it was hard to miss how much he cared for the rooms and their furniture and interior, and I chugged it to it symbolising how shallow he is and how much he cares about appearances, whether in the literal sense of the word or more like the esteem and regard others have of him. In his letters, he focuses so much on appearing thoughtful and grateful and thankful and concerned where needed, in a way you feel he's simply doing it in a "but no one could dislike me! I've been nothing but nice and thoughtful etc" way, you feel? Again, by focusing so much on such pleasantries, he seems only focused on coming across positively.

Also, all in all, he's the epitome of "talks a lot but says very little."

Lydia's letters are more or less hasty and careless; it's obvious she doesn't set aside any special time to write them (like her letters to her mom while she was away at Brighton including things like "oh Mrs Froster is calling me so I must haste" or something along the lines) and, much like her own conversations and interests, seem scattered and childish (which, yeah, she is a child. But you get the idea. She comes across as silly, wild and reckless, while also being somewhat shallow)

I just think it's a very neat way to show the personalities of the characters further using the letters as a tool.

Ahhh I think that's mostly it for now!! So many thoughts cuz am loving every bit of this akfksk

[hiraethwrote]

Hello!!! How are you doing darling? I hope you're doing well!!! I am here to match your freak <3

I have seen you talk with Ave and the fact that your blog names are so similar made me giggle so I'm glad I followed. You seem like a very cool person <33 I fear I have only recently read your stuff <//3 but I'm glad we're moots now !! <333

OMG I SAW THAT PRIDE AND PREJUDICE WAS IN YOUR LIKES. PLEASE OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT THAT MOVIE. IT'S ONE OF MY COMFORT MOVIES, IT'S ONE OF THE LIKE FIVE I TURN ON WHEN I'M SAD. sorry, no more screaming lol. But, omg I literally love that movie. I've read the book probably five times at this point. The mrs. darcy scene lives rent free in my mind at all times. kfgjnbsjkfdgbdfg and the scene where he's walking towards her in the morning and then she kisses his hands and say "you're cold." hbrbghgbsggs sorry I love the 2005 movie lol.

I am now going to yap about your writing <33

I am a Nanami girlie. I am going to be eating well when I get the time to read that oneshot. I know that it's angst- I accept this. afterwards I shall be reading Gojo fluff after to cope with it. Your Nanami fluff hcs changed my life. They brought me so much joy. I kicked my feet and giggled in the comfort of my empty home. OMG I LOVE HIM. I will be thinking about the slow dancing hc forever now. I fear it will never leave my mind. When I do get around to reading the Nanami oneshot I shall give you all thoughts and opinions and probably break the tag limit lol. be prepared <33

thank you so much for joining us in this event and I can't wait to talk to you more <33 :) have a good day Hea!!!

-kai <3

hihihihi 🩷 so happy to have you here matching my freak MWAH!

i saw this ask come in just as i was about to put my phone down and go to bed lol. decided to let it lay until i woke up so i could give you the attention you deserved

you 🫵🏻 seem really cool. seen you on my dash a lot and i really like your vibe so i’m very excited to get to know you better

pride and prejudice has such a special place in my heart 😩 and i’ve talked about this before so not gonna ramble too much about it, but i wrote my bachelor’s thesis about it — about why we all love mr. darcy sm bc i fear he is the love of my life. if i wore to go on about everything i love about it we would be here for years!! have five different editions of the book sitting in my shelf just to look pretty 🥰 one of them is heavily annotated tho as i needed it for my paper.

the movie is also just perfect. Idk how many times i’ve seen it since reading the book, but it’s a go to on bad days. elisabeth and darcy’s banter and yearning just has me in a chokehold — enemies to lovers is just superior and they did it right!! and i’m a slut for that hand scene like every other normal human being

i am glad i can do nanami justice 🙏🏻 personally, i’m often drawn the overly funny white haired guy compensating for their trauma (gojo, astarion) or the moody grumpy dark haired guys (kageyama, megumi), but one cannot not help but fall in love with nanami either. there’s something about writing about an established man, so sure of himself and you that has me absolutely weak 😩 nanami casually being the greenest flag to ever exist

i’m really looking forward to interacting more with you darling 🩷 hope you have a nice sunday

[swaglet]

How did you make friends?

I'm kinda weird like you and I have aspergers and it's so hard for me to make friends and maintain friendships

UNDER DA CUT BECAUSE I STARTED YAPPING. THIS SHIT IS LONG. BUT I GOT U NONNIE

honestly i'm 100% with u on the "maintaining friendships" struggle... i love my friends sm but maintaining our relationship like hanging out regularly and having average conversations (idek what that means) has never come naturally to me and people worry i don't like them or that i'm ignoring them so i have to let them know that i just go MIA a lot and my favorite thing to do to communicate with people i like is to tell them about my day and then show them things i think are funny that i have on my phone. i always get the "i miss you we need to hang out more :(" from everybody so this summer i've really been working hard on making plans (even if it's just driving down to a cafe or a public beach at a dam and hanging out going for a walk) with my friends every so often and following thru with those plans. ever since i was little i have ALWAYS always struggled sooo hard with the maintenance part i wish i had more advice but honestly the best way i've found to mitigate that is sending them memes and things that make you think of them, and then every so often being like "do you want to go do this thing we like to do when we're both free" and stick with it. it can be completely free like just go drive around and go to walmart and touch the stuff on the shelves and laugh. this is the hardest part for me. i lose so many friends to my lack of maintaining friendships and seeming like i'm completely disinterested when i 100% am not and don't know how to appropriately ask people to hang out or do friend things (like. how often is normal, what activities are normal for friends, etc. but i try not to worry about it and just be myself). if anyone has better advice about this than me feel free to add on

for me i don't struggle as much with making friends as i do with keeping them, i can't tell if it's either me just ending up not clicking with someone after i get to know them better and we don't fit well so i drift away and keep them at acquaintance level, or if i do actually like them and am just kind of inept at remembering how & when to plan hangouts and how & when to communicate with friends in the proper way, but it's probably a mix of both for sure. to make friends i just go about my daily life and do whatever i would normally do, like go to class (which involves a lot of entomology and ecology stuff), go to rehearsal for band and theater and choir, and other stuff that i am passionate about and interested in.

the "DO STUFF YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT AND INTERESTED IN" has been a very important part for me because by just being in a place doing something i'm interested in, there is a high chance that other people who share my interests will also be there. my bug classes are full of people who like to go outside and run around in the grass with bug nets and catch & identify bugs. i actually met one of my best friends rn through my intro entomology & plant systematics classes that i was taking sophomore year and we are still friends to this day and after we both graduate we will both be working on a local restoration project together, because back then we bonded over our passion for natural habitat restoration & educating the public and we figured why not work together on that. most of my other friends come from being in band and choir because we spend a lot of time together (at least 8 hours per week every single day) and when you're in a band with like 30 people you all eventually talk to each other, especially if you're really good at what u play and ppl come to u asking for advice.

idk if this is cringe or not but another thing i do is like, i put little trinkets of things i like onto my bags. just on my lanyard, i have a bunch of things: a drumstick keychain charm, a ferret decal keychain charm, a pikachu figurine keychain charm, another mallet charm specifically for the steel drums i play that my hs director made for all of us. i sometimes have a pokemon card in my phone case and i also have stickers from The Last Of Us inside my phone case as well. and i have a bunch of stickers on my laptop and my water bottle and a bunch of pins and keychains on my bookbag as well of stuff that i like. people will come up to me or be sitting near me and say "hey, i really like that thing too!" or "what is that thing (steel drum mallet) on your keys?" and then it opens an opportunity for a somewhat easy conversation. i do this to people all the time; "hey i saw your butterfly pin on your bag, i think it's really cute! where did you get it?" and sometimes they just aren't interested in talking and that's ok but sometimes other people ARE interested and then you guys talk. one of my current best friends is someone i met in band camp; he was wearing a The Last Of Us shirt, it was his very first week on campus as a new freshman at our meet and greet bonfire, and he unfortunately had his blood sugar drop super low and he got really sick and had to sit down, so i sat down with him and made sure he was ok, and i always carry apple juice in my car and snacks in my bag like peanut butter crackers and gummies and stuff like that so i gave him some and we hung out and talked about his shirt while he sat and waited till he felt better. he also wanted to take his shoes off because he was really hot but didn't want to be weird so i was like "do it bro make yourself comfortabe, i'll take my shoes off with you if it makes you feel better" so then we were just sitting in the grass with our dawgs out. Bonding experience. anyways moral of the story is have things that you're interested in and ppl might ask u about them. i also go up and ask ppl about stuff because i am way too brave. also if someone is drawing i will be like "hey not to bother you but i saw that you were drawing! mind if i sit next to you and draw too or could i see?" this one is harder to execute i will not lie but i like being around other artists

going to college and doing as many activities and joining as many clubs as you can is like a cheat code to make friends. i'm sure it's even easier if you live on campus but i commute so i'm not around people 24/7 like my friends were. i met my bf and all my close friends through band, choir, or theater and we all have just stuck. even if you don't go to college, try to join a local event like a town theater club if you're interested in that or a book club or go to like axe throwing classes or sum shit that interests you, anything you can find in town that meets regularly and is a public thing where anyone can come to and it's about shared interests. i have no idea how to be friends with people if i don't share interests with them so having that common ground to start with is like a necessary step for me Always

i like to go bird watching with my friends a lot or go bug catching with them and we bring some stuff like watermelon and sandwiches and fruit and veggies to have a little picnic while we do. just chill little hangouts like that

Umm i hope this helped. i have never been very shy not even as a kid i've always been really loud and kind of obnoxious and very interested in what other people are doing since i've been very little and i get really bored and weird when i'm alone so sometimes i just go out of my way to talk to random people and over the years i've learned how they'll respond if they don't want to speak to me so i can either keep speaking if they're fine or say bye and walk away if they aren't interested. i kind of just do my own thang and people are charmed by me so they come up to me most of the time. i love to yap so i'll yap to whoever wants to listen and then we become friends. one of the things i do to people who i've recently become friends with is send them silly pictures of birds and be like "look at this weird looking bird picture i found" and if they aren't bothered by that then we can be good friends

another thing is that like, once you make friends with one or two people they will mention you to THEIR friends who also probably like similar things and then you can express interest in meeting them as well and all hanging out together. and then it's like. Free friends!

[crushingcasanova]

More.

Darling, Kisses, Obsessed, Vent.

WAVES. HELLO AMORISIMO :D Darling: What makes your darling special compared to everyone else? Why them? - Alright let me type two paragraphs really quick LMAO. I like @zennotixs because she is herself, and she is incredibly sweet and kind and generous with bun's love. I like that he has an active social life, knows what rot wants, and isn't afraid to take it. She's adorable, like fleeting clouds or like a delicious cinnamon roll--only around every once in a while, but appreciated and savored when he is. I like you because... well, it's hard to put into words, I suppose. I could write endless letter and poems to try and encapsulate the ways in which I love you, but none would come close to describing the majesty that is you. You are like the rainbows split from the sun, the gentle breeze outside, the quiet beauty of a flower's first bloom, the smell of perfume both familiar and tantalizing. I want you in ways in which I could never possibly verbalize; soft and tender, passionate and intense, and so much more. I want you to learn me and yet I want to learn you even more, each facet of your being worthy of admiration and praise. Do you understand the way in which you make me feel, loved and cherished and chosen above others? I want you to feel the love and obsession you have always craved from another being from me, and none else, because nobody else is worthy of loving you as I do. Does that make sense? Kisses: How do you act around or with your darling? Is it different from the way you act around everyone else? - More uncaring of upholding my image, I suppose! I let them see more of me as I am without keeping appearances. My definition of darling is a little strange, because it's only referring to people I'm obsessed with, but theoretically speaking, everyone I surround myself with (who see the real me, at least) can be considered my darling to some level. Darling specific, though, gets a lot more of my constant affection and doting throughout conversation (saying random "I love you"s during conversation, pestering them with specific thoughts I had about them, etc). Obsession: How obsessed are you with your darling? Have you ever stalked them? - I have differing levels of obsession for my darlings, I'd say, because of the frequency of which we correspond and such. I've stalked both (online) however, and have a shrine for one (whereas I memorize the stuff for the other). I have a lot of love to give for those in my inner circle, especially my darlings, so I would say on a scale of 1-10? at least a 9 for one of them. Vent: Gush, rant, or vent about your darling or anything in general. - Man you want me to talk about you so bad... /teasing Okay, let me think. I kinda already yapped about why I like them, but both of them are sooooo busy. That's the problem of being into someone with a busy social life and someone who has so many people to tend to... I wish I could just totally monopolize them and always be by their side! Maybe I could shrink myself so I can always be in their pocket or something...? But stars above, I just want their attention all the time, and I want to learn about them even more, so it's like... torture when they're away (but fun when they're back, since they always have cool things to tell me!)

[quick-catton]

Hi quick-catton!! First of all I love your page and I love your personality💕💕💕 I also LOVE Saturn and Felix and Oliver just-😫😫😫 I love it every time you post, it makes my day!! Right now I just really need your help. Today I had to go on another account just to send something to my ask box because since I started my account last year, I’ve gotten nothing and it really hurts.

I love how open and freaky you are in your posts and I’m honestly the same way with Saltburn and an anime fandom that I’ve shaped my blog around. I used to be a little calm and collected but you’re inspiring to just let go and let my freak flag fly but the problem is, with my fandom, I don’t think people are going to be very inviting. Like literally the only thing I wanna do right now is babygirl code my favorite anime character sooo badly but I’m afraid I’ll lose all my followers and when I try to I get no engagement.

Like I wrote three freaking paragraphs about how good he’d look with a navel piercing! That was this morning and I got nothing all day but four likes. No reblogs, no comments, I literally had to make another account and send myself some praise for that post just so I could post it to show people that at least someone else agrees with me.

And I know I should give it time but that’s the problem. Some of my other posts like that don’t grow. They just get five likes and that’s it and it sucks because all I wanna do is engage with people that want to see this boy in lingerie or a skirt or goddamn pregnant (told you I was a freak)

I just don’t know what to do. How do you deal that? I’m honestly this close to deleting my account coz it seems like I’m posting to a blank wall and it’s so embarrassing coz everyone can see it. Sorry this is so long! Thank you for quickcatton 💕💕

WAH ANON ur so sweet omg, thank you?? <33 honestly i feel like i don't have good advice because i only made a tumblr for the first time EVER at the beginning of january!!! i am 23 and had never set foot on this app, but i saw that most of the saltburn fandom was here, so i gave it a shot and i've just been learning as i go.

i think that's half of my 'luck' with having a good experience on this app, is that because this fandom is so fresh, it's super active, but it's also a very small fandom (relative to some others) so we're all kinda like a hivemind here LOL, and because of the source material of the movie itself being weird/freaky/psychosexual, we all know that anything goes and the more freaky the brainrot, the better! i'm in other fandoms where if i said half of the shit i say here, i'd be ostracized, so it's really a case by case basis unfortunately </3

ik i yap a lot here but i also hold back sooo much because even tho ik we're all weirdos here, i still get nervous about putting out my writing or not having people vibe with an idea– you're not alone in that, i promise. it helps forming friendships in your fandoms so you know that there'll always be people who you can get hype over ideas with, but i know that's easier said than done sometimes <3

i don't have advice on engagement because i honestly don't look at that stuff (which i know is so annoying to say lol but it's true); i made this account purely to have a place to dump brainrot/art etc and view other people's saltburn content and i didn't care about engagement, i just got lucky to meet some cool people and make close friends through it.

i think if people can tell you're having fun through your posts, they'll vibe with you! it does take time with the good ol' algorithm, i'm sure, but as long as your page brings YOU joy, that's what matters most. people don't have to agree with your takes, life is too short to be vanilla and water urself down for others :^) making fandom friends and gaining interactions will come along with being yourself, but if posting here and running the account feels more stressful to you than it is fun, it's okay to step away too!

if you're on ao3 and sites like that, leaving comments on your fave works can be a great way to get conversations going as well. i met my closest friend on here bc she stumbled across my fic on ao3 and then sent me a message; it was purely up to chance, but branching out and being brave starting conversations with your fave accounts can be a great way to feel more included in the fandoms you're in and maybe you'll meet cool people along the way!! <33

[paintedpineleaf]

"when you realize its almost 2025 and youre still in love with the same girl since 2021"

"how fast i'd run to her if she ever wanted to try again"

not me. not me cause i've dated two people and had situationships with two other people and never fallen truly in love with any of them. ive never lost my mind over any of them, i wouldnt run back to any of them if they ever wanted to try again. one person i broke up with said when i broke up with them that maybe we could try again in the future. i said maybe even though i knew i wouldnt want to. i feel more like the "when you dont say anything to a man and let him yap on and after a while he says "wow i really like you"".

i dont think some of my friends would miss me if i wasnt in their lives, in the sense that they would miss anything specific about me, my personality or my sense of humor or literally anything. i know thats a shit thing to say about people who consider me their friend.

its strange that ive never loved anyone more than my childhood friends to run to. if there was anyone i'd run to it'd be a friend i had in fifth grade who i basically never talked to again after leaving that school even when i went back there for two years. this is gonna delve into a sob story about my school but they're the only person i can think of.

i made a playlist recently called "i love you so much it hurts" amd the description was about this almost one-sided love ("i smile even when we argue cause i get to talk to you (i'll reply to everyone's texts but yours cause i can't handle what you mean to me)") andy friends asked me who it was about and i couldnt even give them a straight answer cause i didnt even know. i want to love someone and give my whole heart to them until it comes time to do it and i just. dont.

that seems slightly dishonest cause i was actually thinking if one of my friends when making that playlist, except it was one of those moments where, for no reason, you feel some kind of really intense love for someone, then the moment passes, and you feel normal about them again. i dont feel that way about the person all the time, and idk if i will again.

i think i might be aromantic cause i dont feel that kind of attraction towards people, but i do want to date people, and i get crushes on people where i want to pursue them romantically, i just get turned off once i actually get the person. which is so fucking shit, its a shit thing to feel and a shit thing to put a person through. idek what i mean by turned off, its not even exactly that, i just dont make relationships work.

i know its my fault, i just cant or dont give it my all, like im so fucking terrified to potentially love someone and get my heart broken that i dont even try. i want to end it before they do, it can't hurt if i stop loving them before they stop loving me.

that was actually why i broke up with my last gf, like i literally told them it was cause i wasnt ready for a proper relationship cause i couldnt give them my all, or even a part of me that anyone else didnt also have. they said they loved me and if one day i was ready, we could try again. what does that mean? why do you love me that much? what did i do? if i need to have done something to deserve someone hating me, then i did something to get that love, and i dont know what i did.

we're still friends but i still can't handle my relationship with that person because of the fact that i know they love me (not romantically) and i dont know if i love them the way they really deserve. it feels like they love so openly and freely and im misusing it. it sounds so fucking cliche and stupid to say that i feel unworthy of their love but i think thats how i feel. im not sure.

even so, i literally tell them nothing about me. we talk about their day, and what they did and something about their sister, and what theyre writing, but never anything about me (which isnt a problem, i like it that way, i told them i dont like talking about myself so its fine for them to talk about themself, and they do, and i find it nice to listen to them usually. i told them i'd say something about myself if i had something to say, and i dont like being asked, and they respect those boundaries and i really appreciate it)

sometimes i really want someone i can talk to about myself but that shit makes me feel so vulnerable like what if im boring them or what if they make fun of me. i know this person'd never do that and they'd probably be actually interested in whatever i talk about but that just seems to make it worse. i cant even point to what it is but just the thought of talking about myself to them makes me feel so uncomfortable. why are you interested why are you replying to me why do you seem like you care why do you care.

anyway this was a long rant about how im incapable of loving anyone or letting myself be loved and simultaneously craving the feeling of both loving someone intensely and being loved in turn and how its all my fault

[stopthatfool]

thoughts while watching top gun cuz im a hater and it's been a while since i yapped. i've been quiet.. i must.. i must yap..

-80s intro montage. yeah exactly. this is MOVIE. like it's so MOVIE (TM). like it's THE movie.

-dumb fucking slowmo shot while goose and mav are inverted over the MiG still pisses me off (top gun theme starts playing loudly like a bald eagle cry-- AMERICA! WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER!)

-cougar turning in his wings stabs me in the chest as usual (ok lots of sweating cool cool cool)

-hollywolf scene ("this gives me a hard on" i know they fuck real nasty. what the hell foreplay in public during DADT is craaazzzyyyy)

-icemav eyefucking ok cool. ice twirling his pen and i am twirling my hair.

-casual misogyny drop thank u ice (alternate plaque) goose laugh so beautiful.. like an angel..

-o club scene (ANIMAL NIGHT sign yippee) shot of woman's thigh. okay. iceman ice cold no mistakes blah blah blah who cares. the icemav scene... still just as gay... why did they look at each other's lips.. i need them dead in a ditch.

-"carnal knowledge--of lady this time.." why does that need to specified.. god this is so gay what the hell. hello charlie. lost that loving feeling. ok cool. ok great. SOME ONE TAKE THAT MIC AWAY FROM HIM. hellish situation.. i'm so sorry charlie. i'll get u outta there.

-hello mansplaining callsigns and piloting... thank u mav.. god i hate his stupid face. "i can hold my own" oooooo foreshadowing for his downfall.. teamwork mav come on now

-mav entering the ladies room is still just as weird as it was the first time. "big mistake with that older guy" just after he tried to get her to fuck on a public bathroom counter.. okay sure.. yeah.. i need him dead tbh.

-DUMB FUCKING HAT!! JESTER IS WEARING THE DUMB FUCKING HAT!! wolfman wearing the cowboy hat.. they're in the dumb hat club together

-ice putting on his watch.. slutty waist i'm gonna throw him against the wall and smash his head in

-"u can run kid but u can't hide" ok cornball (i feel like i'm in a videogame) (do some of that pilot shit!) (plane shots. mav does something stupid. fork found in the kitchen. what else is new.) (bro why does he do a flyby why is he actually dumb) (YEEHAW!) yeah whatever

-dangerous scene. ya gay who cares. ice is chewing gum so dramatically like ok chew chew chew chew gnawgnaw gnaw gnaw. what's that Freudian theory... ice never got past his teething stage.. big ol fucking chompers or whatever. (should i study top gun characters through freudian theories.. just to be super fucking annoying)

-navy twink spills coffee all over navy bear (I WANT SOME BUTTS!)

-"I flew with his old man" do u guys think viper and duke ever explored each other's bodies. genuine question.

-sad goosmav scene (i just hope we graduate) goose puts mav on blast trauma dump for him like ok thanks goose (goosmav nation i understand u)

-"too aggressive.. i guess when i see something i go right after it." mav i'm gonna fucking kill you. shut the hell up. ur embarrassing me in front of my friends. "but u were tempted to ask me out to dinner" mav i need u to get so real rn. (tom cruise big ol fucking chompers)

-VOLLEYBALL SCENE! ONE OF MY FAV SONGS! i dont know a lot about volleyball,, but it kinda looks like they're doing it wrong tbh.. (bruce webber photography my beloved)

-take my breath away counter starts now.. lord im ready guys.. mav is late i hate him men can't do anything right.. why does charlie have a pet dog and a parrot.. "i'm gonna take a quick shower." what the fuck.. men r so weird why would he say that. like bro what.

-mav trauma dumping i love how much they just tell u things in this movie. like here let me tell u. show u? nah. i'll TELL you. straight up. then we get some wonky dialogue and i love it. so much.

-everyone in this movie has beautiful teeth. i wish to hold their teeth in my palms. inspect their teeth.

-butch lesbian charlie.. long hair mav cuz he was filming the color of money.. (vince hello hai hey hi) (but why is mav all sweaty in an elevator.. like where is he going.. are the showers up? down? where?)

-CAROLE! CAROLE! CAROLE! SHE'S HERE! MY LOVE! CAROLE! IM CRYING IM CRYING IM CRYING. CAROLE!

-idk what mav was expecting when getting involved with his teacher.. like come on bro r u stupid.. "i can't hear you!!!" (revs engine) like bro she has to keep up appearances.. she can't pick favs cuz she wants to fuck u like what r u dumb

-tom cruise yelling.. hell yeah.. act little man.. act for me.. ACT! ok they're kissing..

-WORST SEX SCENE EVER ALERT! YAAYYYY! (it's actually horrifying.. what is tom cruise doing oh my god.) (so much tongue???????? why????) taaaake my brrreeeaaathhhh awaaayyyyy

-i feel the need for speed. god shut the fuck up.

-shower scene. GUYS ITS THE POSTER! MY FIRST EVER TOP GUN POST! ITS THE POSTER! "Navy. it's not just a job. it's an adventure." who are u telling that to?? (other than the viewers obvs) but like they're already IN the navy. why have a navy recruitment poster IN the navy showers...

-hello ice ur so sexy. "it's ur attitude. ur worse than the enemy." god CORNBALL! CORNY! TOMATO! TOMATO! heart to heart in little towels.. okay.....

-GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! mav and carole... mav and carole... god their friendship.. im crying... mav and bradley.. stop stop stop crying. crying so hard.

-and the movie ends... it ends right at them singing together... ain't that weird... hmmm the movie just... ends...??? could've sworn there was more.. but hmmm. it's over.. and everyone is alive and well! cool! awesome!

fuck it watching top gun to feel something again

[imacrowcawcaw]

These Dreams (Sanny) 1/3

*Just realized that this is super long and the formatting is a mess so I'm breaking it into three and cleaning it up*

Title: These Dreams

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Wattpad and Deviantart, Tumblr - imacrowcawcaw

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Danny Wagner/Sam Kiszka, Josh Kiszka/Jake Kiszka at the end

Warnings/Tags: first time, first kiss, smut, frontage, grinding, fluff, attempted humor, discussions of underage attraction

Summary: *No actual underage sex graphically depicted, but it's talked about*

*twincest at the very end*

"'You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality." Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.'

Author's Notes: Sammy seems to be the instigator in most things, and Danny always seems to be secretly in love (in my stories), but I like it like that lol.

God I finished this at midnight lol

For Helena and everyone else who needs gvf content down deep in their soul like I do

Sorry, it's kinda dialogue heavy

Singing along to Fleetwood Mac gave me the title

*I am marking this as underage because there is discussion of attractions and fantasies while they were underage, masturbation, losing virginity while under 18. But there is no graphic underage sex actually written, both boys are at like 20 or nearly 20 (today era) where I place this. (Also will not be posted on Rockfic because I've made that mistake once before and I respect their rules and the reasons behind them)

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"What if we fucked?"

Danny let his head roll to the side on his pillow so he could eye Sam.

"What?"

"I dunno, it was just a random idea. Like, don't you think it would be kinda fun?"

Danny stared at him, confusion and amusement mingling on his face. This wasn't the weirdest thing Sam had said in, hell, the last half an hour? But, still, the hypothetic had Danny's attention simply because the idea was something he never really thought about - or, at least, never thought would ever happen. A boy had wet dreams and fantasies, they weren't always things he would actually act on.

"I've never thought about it."

Just not gonna mention those dreams. Or the one time he jacked off while sharing a bed with Sam, nose breathing in the scent of his hair and eyes roaming his best friend's sleeping backside. That never happened, okay?

"Really, like never?"

Sam actually looked surprised. He had?

"You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality."

"Well- I mean..."

To come clean or to not come clean, that was the question in Danny's mind. Sammy seemed totally cool with the idea, though, so it probably wouldn't do him any harm to admit it. Unless this was a prank? Nah, Sam loved jokes but this wasn't his style. He would never pick on someone for something like this, he much preferred messing with Danny in other ways.

"Fine, yeah, I've thought about it. Had a really intense dream in like, eighth, that freaked me out for a while. Didn't know how to deal with it then, ya know?"

"See, I knew it! Everyone thinks about it! What was your dream about?"

Sam bounced on the bed like an excited puppy - which, he was. A cute, fluffy, yapping ball of energy with too big feet who got super excited whenever he met new people, that was Sammy. How could Danny not love him?

"Do you really wanna hear about this?"

He had to know, just to make double sure, that Sam wasn't pulling his leg.

"Yes, I do! It's interesting to think about. And - if you tell me about your's, I'll tell you about mine?"

"Wait, your dream? What? When? How much have you thought about this? Like, being with a guy, or with me? How come you've never said anything?!"

Why was this the first time he'd heard about this? Sam was usually very vocal about everything he was thinking, at least when in private with his brothers and Danny.

Though, he guessed he knew why: it was the same reason he'd never really mentioned his own dreams and ponderings to Sam.

"Well, how come *you've* never said anything?" Sam countered. "And I'll tell you what I've thought about, but later; I wanna hear hear about this dream that freaked you out so bad. What could it have even been?"

"Mr. Oakenstein."

"WHAT?!"

Danny was cracking up at Sam's face, he looked like he'd just been told that Gibson was going out of business or something.

"Please tell me you're joking!" Sam begged. Poor boy, Danny should put him out of his misery.

"Of course I'm joking, doofus! God - Mr. Oakenstein? He was at least seventy five when we took bio! There's no way that - if I liked guys - I'd be into him. He's so wrinkly and hunched and- and *jowly*."

They both shuddered. Mr. Oakenstein's name brought back unpleasant memories of weekly chapter tests (how was it even possible to go through a book that fast?) and frog electrocution, not to mention the mental image of his sagging, jiggly face.

"Would he have even been able to get it up? Like, how long does Viagra take to kick in? You'd just have to lay there waiting and looking at him - which, ugh. That would be a nightmare, not a dream."

"Yeah," Danny agreed, still giggling a little bit, "I didn't dream about him, but it definitely would have freaked me out more if I had. Hey, you still think Miss Marcie is hot?"

Danny was procrastinating, they both knew it, but this was always a fun conversation to have.

"Always, dude. I still remember with, like, perfect clarity the time she had me come in during lunch to go over my test. I looked up and she was *right there* leaning over me reading what I was doing, and I could kind of see up her shirt... man, I was so distracted the rest of the day."

Sam sounded dreamy, lost in his memories of a hot tenth grade teacher.

"I remember that day! You were so distracted after school on the way home, you nearly drove us into a lake. And at band practice you kept messing up, Joshie nearly strangled you with his mic cord."

"Yeah! Man, I was so hard, I couldn't fucking concentrate on anything else except for trying not to cum right then and there. As soon as we called it quits for the day I was in the bathroom; and of course Jake knew what was up and wouldn't stop ribbing me about it the rest of the night."

"Damn, that bad? I mean, she was hot but she wasn't, like, *amazing*, was she?"

"You might not think so, but Miss Marcie is always gonna have a place in my heart. And the spank bank," Sam sighed. They both snickered.

"Well, what about you, hmm?" He asked. "If you didn't like Mr. Goldenstein, then who? Everyone gets hot for teacher."

Sam hummed the lyrics to the classic for a minute, Danny filling in the guitar parts. Neither of them listened to Van Halen that much, but how could you not know that song?

After a little drum solo on his thigh while Sam progressed into increasingly southern banjo sounding guitar noises, Danny stopped and answered.

"I agree, Ms. Marcelina was really hot, but she had NOTHING on Mrs. Bell. Do you remember that red dress she uses to wear?"

"Of course I do! The economy of the United States has never been so interesting!"

Danny snorted. "Dude, you never gave a shit about econ, you just liked to stare at her. Which, okay, I did too. She made that class bareable."

"I'd say she made it a bit more than bareable. And yeah, that red dress was something else,"

Sam rolled onto his side.

"Hey, what if Mr. Goldstein wore a red cocktail dress. Would you go for him then?"

Sam laughed when Danny shoved at his shoulder, shaking with amusement and disgust at the thought.

"You know, I've never entertained that thought, but I am SO glad you brought it to my attention. I'll never be able to *stop thinking about it* now, Samuel."

Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.

Part 2