#yall i have never worked so hard on a drawing in my life lol

[tppart]

Happy Halloween my guys and ghouls! 👻

[softcitrus2345]

Heeeeeeeeyyyyy ;;w;;

So I've been kind of MIA since.. early november, wow. It's been a LONG time lol-

I really missed posting here and interacting with you guys, but I honestly think I did the right thing. Soon after I began my hiatus, I got moved to full time hours at work (retail during the holidays is a NIGHTMARE.) and it basically became my entire life. I had no time in the day to do anything besides sleep, eat, work, and then maybe if I'm lucky, I'd spend an hour with my family before they all had to go to bed for school/work the next day. It was a really hard time for me mentally and I had zero time for anything besides keeping up with my basic needs and just. existing honestly.

For about a week now, I've been back to part time hours at work, and I feel like I've finally been able to breathe again. I actually have time in my day to be productive and dedicate some time to my hobbies again.. I missed drawing so much, I missed talking to my friends and mutuals and I missed the cozy little community I've built here with you all.. I've been wanting to post this for a few days but couldn't really figure out what to say, so I'm finally just gonna word vomit here for a bit

Even if I hadn't been able to create much the past couple months, I kept my little noggin full of ideas just bouncing around in there and I've been deep in the trenches of an Arcane hyperfixation since season 2 came out LOL It's kind of embarrassing but it's what's kept me sane these past few months, being able to just focus on a thing I like and analyze it and see all the cool stuff other artists and editors have done with it has been really refreshing and allowed me to develop a little creative backlog in my brain of things I want to make :3 I've never really been into drawing fanart but that changed FAST after I was exposed to the Horrors (Jayvik) and got the ultra mega hyper gay brainrot. Those two bastards are living in my head and REFUSE TO PAY RENT so yall are just gonna see me posting Jayvik slop for a while, and I am NOT SORRY HAHA THIS IS MY BLOG, I DO AS I PLEASE-

Also I'm gonna try to be less shy about other (COUGHBERRY) kinks I've been wanting to post here too, so erm. If you're not a fan of that jazz just mind ya business (respectfully)

Damien, Vanessa, Matt, and the rest of the gang will be back, I promise, I just wanna have some fun with my silly Hextech founders ok-

Happy 2025 everyone! More to come soon :3

[zooliminology]

Update/What's in the Future

[Hey guys, you probably have noticed that this is going to be likely the longest dry spell of real Zoolim content in a while. I apologize for this. Life has gotten in the way of a lot of things.

-I'm an art student in college, and last semester I didn't take any art classes so I was basically free to do whatever, but this semester I've taken three studio art classes, which are all very intensive and in honesty I would not recommend it! If you're a studio art student stick to 1-2 studio art classes a semester so you don't go insane please! I'm currently absolutely SWAMPED with work right now. -The Golbo video and the video that is imminently due this Tuesday (that i am writing this post about instead of working on) are the results of my New Media class. Considering the ten thousand million fucking art assets I have to draw for these it's been very time consuming (still want to do it though.) -A lot of life things have happened to me recently, not to be super personal but a family member of mine is sick and my living conditions are not the absolute Best, so it's been taking a heavy toll on my health.

All of these combined, especially the studio classes part because I've been bled dry of creativity energy relating to zoolim basically, has caused this dry spell basically. My hopes are that after the semester ends (which is soon) I'll be able to work on things more. I feel bad about not working on it more but I have to draw things other than zoolim to literally stay sane because it's a lot.

So I guess that leaves us with one question: what's in the future?

Well, a lot of things... maybe? I'm a little dry on entity ideas right now but i have a few, and I'd like to revisit some entities more and expand on them. And while I enjoy the videos and the non-entry ideas I have for material, I would also like to continue the 'traditional' paintings and entries. So I hope I can work on that alongside other things! I also have more ideas for videos, but considering how I have to do nearly all of the work, aside from the narration (thanks Darvinos) any video production will likely slow down dramatically after the semester is over. Until my next New Media class at least, but IDK if it will let me make the same shit.

I also have some deeper lore and a story semi-figured out, along with characters (you ever wonder who's taking the pictures? not the same person who's writing the captions!!!) but they would be hard to implement in this tumblr blog organically, so maybe they'll show up in some videos. I've thought of asking more people for help for this purpose, though I'd need to work out completely how that would work, and the moment that zoolim becomes more than some backrooms world i work on mostly by myself will become scary.

Sorry that this post is a big ramble, I hope yall understand and I swear the Longlegs video will come out pretty soon, it will be worked on again right after I post this lol. But please take care, and thank you for all the support you've shown me so far. It truly does mean a lot to me. I've said it several times but I'll say it again, I never imagined this shitty little art project about weird goobers in the backrooms would get so much attention lol.

ok end of post]

[bobdylans116thdream]

2024 was.... something. Here goes... VERY long post b/c this year was A LOT. But in about 9 hours it'll be in the past! so!

I had the worst work year I've had; it was my first as a lead, a brand new curriculum, and assistants who were hard to open up to. And my boss was telling me it was on me to open up to them. Not quite right. They needed to open up to me too. They ended up leaving, and now I've got one of my good friends working with me, she's a huge help. I had a lot of struggles with constructive criticism - my brain takes it as SEE YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH... definitely still working on that too. People at work want to help me, not put me down. I'm still building my confidence there, but I will get there!

Personally - I still dealt with a lot of the anxiety. I had a massive falling out with my former best friend, Cherry. And yes, it was my fault. I know I'll never get to apologize, but my biggest task here is forgiving myself. What I did was a product of being unhealed; now I know better. I still miss her sometimes, but I know I'll be okay. Something that happened caused me to fall out with Mel, but luckily we've been able to rekindle and now things are stronger than ever. Forgive and forget. I'm so happy to have her back in my life - she's one of my biggest cheerleaders!!! I love you! I also strengthened friendships with Bridge (I dunno your real name), Renee, and made new friends! I'm working on coming out of my shell... I'm not nearly as bad as my anxiety makes me out to be.

And with Matt, things are amazing <3 we're both taking steps towards getting ready for the next chapter... so one day in 2025 you might see me post a ring!!! ;) he's my biggest offline supporter, and I wonder every day how I got lucky enough to find him. I love him dearly and I can't wait to see where life takes us in 2025.

Healing... whoa boy has this been a downhill rollercoaster lately! In the good way! I'm becoming more accepting of myself and all my weirdness, enjoying my hobbies more and more, and changing how I see myself. I'm trying to treat myself more compassionately when I mess up or get into my head - this is hard work, I didn't get these mindsets in a day, I won't reverse them in a day!! I truly think this new obsession with Bob Dylan helped - it refreshed me, gave me some new energy that I hadn't gotten in a long time.

sooo here are some thanks

@lil-melody-moon where do i begin!!! I'm super grateful that I chose to reunite w/you, we're quite the team! lol thank you for encouraging all my weirdness and thirst and obsessions. I can't wait to see what the next bout of teasing will be... mwah! thank you for all of your love and support.

@good-to-drive you are amazing and i'm so grateful for your friendship and understanding. i don't know how i would have gotten through some of the hard times during the fallout with my other friend without your support. thank you for all your saraniverse help, for the personal help, and for encouraging this new obsession ha! i can't wait to hear more about your research :D

@johangeorghohman you found me during a very dark time, and i'm happy that you stuck around now that i'm doing better! thank you fr all of your kindness and for listening to my insane ramblings lol!

@djbead123 and @androidxmutt yall are awesome! i know we haven't been friends that long, but i'm looking forward to continuing into 2025! (and i can't wait to see that drawing!)

@knoxoverstreet16 i'm glad i messaged you! you're fun to talk to, and i love seeing little pics from your tours and stuff! :D

@rufusrant thank you for being my starrison friend ^_^ and for not giving up on me when i wasn't as healed as i am now (so i wasn't making the best choices, friend and conversation wise). i do wanna write that story!

@i-am-the-oyster and @s-l-martin thank you for being so encouraging when it comes to how shy i am on discord... i'm getting out of that slowly but surely!

finally but not least @bridgeoverstrawberryfields i know things are tough for you right now, but i just wanted to extend some love and care. you've been a wonderful friend all this year, and i thank you from the bottom of my heart. and i'm here whenever you're ready <3

[safe-from-sharp-teeth]

Ayo! I haven't answered asks in FOREVER, so it's time for some spring cleaning :) Also answering other stuff, like what I've been up to.

If you sent an ask and it's not here, sorry! I may have deleted it because the prompt required too much work of me and I wasn't feeling it, or I was uncomfortable.

Let's gooooo !

Firstly - where have I been? Work REALLY picked up in a way I wasn't expecting over the last...4 months? I was working double and often triple the hours I was used to. With work, vacations, random illnesses, and many video games I got a bit too obsessed with, this blog took a backseat. Plus, sometimes I get disinterested in vore when obsessed with something else. Sometimes, that lasts months, and it did this time.

But now I can confirm that work will FINALLY chill for a long period of time. I'm free! And more motivated than ever! Wahoo! Thanks for your support ALWAYS.

Next big question - when am I going to do more of my story? The one with Asyr? AHHHHHGHHGHH this story has consumed my life. I think about it daily. I dream about it. And yet I'm not as comfortable writing as I am drawing, so writing is a slow process that my perfectionist ass struggles with. I can assure you that there is a story in the works - and I am working on it at a snail's pace.

Okay, ask time...

@ponyluvesonic09 AYO maybe I'll make a full ghost pred pros/con list for you, because that sounds awesome! Kir//by is one of the silliest canon preds out there. Honestly getting eaten by him would be like getting vored by a vacuum, LOL. Galaxy tummy!! Imagine a prey floating around in one of those item bubbles all grumpy. Thank u for the ask, this is good stuff.

no. ( /・・)ノ

UWAGHHHHH I LIKE HER!!! Never played O/verwat/ch but what a gem!! I have a random fondness for centaur-like preds nowadays. She looks so cozy. THANK U I LOVE HER!!!

@tiger9o0 I have not played r//ain w//orld or know what it's about, LOL. Looks like a platformer? Man, I'm terrrriiiiibblleee at those. But whoever this is on the cover, I LIKE EM. A+. (That might not answer ur question shdjbghkjg SORRY)

@heimkoheimkofan LOVE THAT I GOT THE ROBOT ENJOYERS AFTER THAT ONE POST....YES yall are so right and I'm so wrong for just hard metal robot tums. I will rectify my mistake soon I PROMISE. Also oh! You were the one asking about stomachs other than elemental ones! IVE HAD THAT IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER IM SORRY AHHHH. I REALLY love your imagination with tums and you've inspired me to think of some awesome environments! THANKS

@fastfur07 BWAH?? Ugh I'm all over the place when it comes to art. Some pieces take 30 min (like the zangooc I drew at the top of this post), most take 2 days. Some really hard drawings like my wolf bat creechur from a few months ago and my shrimp from last year took a month. THANK U??

We're going back so far that I think this is about my naga oc (which I'm in the midst of redesigning cough cough). For him, he would never tolerate being prey, extremely unwilling bahaha. In general, I haven't thought much about naga or snake prey! I get the appeal of slurping up a noodle, but I just prefer human prey :)

@fastfur07 you fiend, you always give me the best drawing ideas. UNFORTUNATELY, I didn't have time to draw something for this one. BUTTTT....

(i've had this next one in my drafts for forever)

then i had a silly comic. I'll post the wip here because I won't finish it, so enjoy bahaha.

@blizzaria123-blog THANK U im rapidly melting into a puddle from ur words

@mrpotatomanversionsix relevant. i will continue drawing them 4 u

?!??!!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!? how dare u enter my ask box with this blasphemy

@sfwsillynoms WAH!!! you!!! I'm currently redesigning my naga oc but when I finish I'll tag you, if you're still around! And he can 100% be drawn with ur preysona :)

@mystorl i am SO late to this, but SMART. I like it. I shall give my lil guy this friend. I just want to let u know that I see this and it's wonderful and I will do something abt it.

I remember this ask made me laugh a ton when I first got it. thank u. idk why I find this so funny

@sillylilprey IM CRYING RIGHT BACK AHHHH this is an ancient ask, but thank u! hope you're still enjoying!

@terrytheinsane finally, the last ask in my askbox. I love it. You have been wronged with how long it took me to answer you. I have gained knowledge from your ask. THANKS

AND THAT'S IT!! Thanks guys, I hope to make you proud! Feel free to send more asks, and hopefully I will answer in a TIMELY manner.

Goodnight! And remember: Nice Vore ᕕ༼⌐■-■༽ᕗ

[iwaoiness]

thank u sm @mania-sama for taggin me on this!! <3 im excited to see how this will turn out omg

𒌋 fanfic write review

— How many works do you have on AO3? —

actually 48 fics in english and spanish, i think its a huge number but then i remember there's people with more than 70 works and then i feel better

— Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes —

¹ orbit return↦ "When they're eight years old and learn in class what the orbit and the planets and the stars and the universe are, Iwaizumi decides that on Oikawa's birthday he will no longer say "happy birthday", but "happy orbit return". And it becomes a tradition. Or: Oikawa is the main protagonist of Iwaizumi's Instagram, especially, every 20th of July."

its one of the cutest i've ever written, i wanted to do something cute and soft for oikawa's b-day and show iwaoi over the years through the pictures but as i have no fucking idea how to draw, i said: ‘fuck it i'll write it’, and so it was born!! i liked it sm i couldnt hold out until july so i published it in octuber lol

² tooru's love life↦ "In wich Oikawa never revealed anything about his private life, let alone his love life. Until he posts a TikTok with Iwaizumi Hajime and everything explodes."

it was a silly thing that crossed my mind after seeing a video on twitter and idk how its in this top2 BUT im soooo grateful that yall liked it so much <3

³ chronicles of a jealous athlete↦ "What Oikawa definitely can't get over and what left him gaping with eyes wide open was the latest viral video featuring Iwaizumi (which Makki sent him just two minutes after it was posted, along with a "loool bro u should’ve come to japan"). And it's not another fancam (he wished it was another fancam, why on earth wasn't it a fancam), but a video of him, back to the camera, giving Ushijima Fucking Wakatoshi a massage. A fucking pectoral massage."

THIS IS MY PRECIOUS SON!! i saw the video on my tl and said: i MUST iwaoing this right now and worte it in one day. i had a great time writing it, i felt like i was 15 again, surrounded by books and being able to read saga after saga every week, totally engrossed in the world of manga and anime, having evolved in my writing style and feeling that i finally could show my full potential and reveal without further walls everything that my mind holds. im very fond of it i swear

⁴ oikawa's problematic phone case↦ "In which Oikawa shows a video to a famous talk show host and (unintentionally) ends up showing half the world the photo he keeps in his phone case. And it would all remain an anecdote if it weren't for the fact that it is a ID photo of Iwaizumi Hajime (27) athletic trainer."

can u believe i just wanted to do a drabble about iwaizumi being the kind of person who doesnt try hard at all and looks SO HOT in the id photo and then this came out lol i just now its something canon

⁵ when the rain falls in summer↦ "It's summer, it's raining, Oikawa is lying on the couch like an invertebrate animal, humming a song because he doesn't know silence, and Iwaizumi can't ask for anything more."

i couldnt be iwaoi's fan without writing iwaoi enjoying the two of them in their flat on a rainy day, all sweet, loving and in love, and with a balcony full of plants ugh i love them with my whole heart

— Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? —

yees!! its my fav part of publish a work, even though sometimes i forget and get months behind, i LOVE responding to comments, it's like feeling more connected to people and an incredible dopamine rush

— What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? —

all i know is my life is gone, well tecnically its all angst not only the ending, but thanks to this i found the joy of writing angst, now i understand people who write an 120k fic of pure angst, somehow its reaaaally funny

i have another one in spanish la paz de akaashi its a bokuaka fic y si eres hispana hermana no sabes lo que me dolió emocionalmente destrozar a bokuto y akaashi pensé que sería soportable pero nO

— What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? —

AAAAAAA I CANT CHOOSE apart from the previous two plus another one that has a bittersweet ending (between alphas if u r curious), the rest of the 43 fics have happy ending, but so as not to leave this blank I will say: little piece of home

— Do you write crossovers? —

nopee, and i dont think im ever going to write it cuz im not really into it

— Have you ever received hate on a fic? —

only once lol when i started in the fanfic world in fanfiction.net with vocaloid stories (dark past don't ask) and i was 12 or 13 y/o ig when one of my shameful fics ended up in a review blog with the top spanish fanfic writers, and they dedicated a WHOLE post to me with a destructive (and a little bit constructive) criticism. actually it wasnt that bad cuz that was my turning point and now i write well thanks to it, and since then i havent received any hate on any of my fics!! (for now lol)

— Do you write smut? If so, what kind? —

another yes thank youuu. i love to write it not too explicit, like leave u wanting to know a lot more and also to be able to imagine it a little bit as u like, if that makes sense

— Have you ever had a fic stolen? —

not that i know of, and hope to keep it that way pleaseee

— Have you ever had a fic translated? —

nope

— Have you ever co-written a fic before? —

nope again

— What’s your all-time favorite ship? —

IWAOIIWAOIIWAOIIWAOIIWAOIIWAOI im OBSESSED with their dynamic. its just so freaking good (and don’t even get me started on the fact that childhood friends is my weakness). with these two, there’s literally endless possibilities and AUs u can explore without pushing them into major ooc territory, which, tbh, is a struggle with some ships. like, u want enemies to lovers? fits like a glove. strangers to friends to lovers? perfect. full-blown angst with a happy ending? chef’s kiss. angst with hurt/no comfort? yup, that too. whatever the vibe is, if it’s iwaoi, it just WORKS

and individually they’re a solid 10/10. like, sure, iwaizumi didn’t get as much screen time as oikawa, but his personality is so well-crafted that it feels like he’s been a core part for all 402 freaking chapters of haikyuu (well he's a core part if it wasnt for him, tooru would’ve been absolutely eaten up by guilt for hitting kageyama and might’ve even quit volleyball and that iconic line ‘the team with the better six is stronger’ it’s HIS, and it hit kageyama like a truck) and don’t even get me started on timeskip iwaizumi hajime (27), athletic trainer, he's my roman empire

and oikawa, oh my oikawa, i’d legit have to write a whole doctoral thesis cuz he’s THE character. his development's straight-up apotheosis. he’s one of the best-written characters out there, and if u disagree, go argue with the wall. the man crossed the damn pond for volleyball, became a STARTER on the argentinian national team, rediscovered the joy in the sport, and kept his pride intact through it all. uuugh and at 30 years old, he’s still a total dork but irresistibly handsome piece of man

— What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? —

okay listen to me carefully (or rather, read me carefully) i have a lots of WIPs but for the last FOUR years in my iwaoi doc there has been THE wip that has been going around in my mind but that will probably never come to light and that im going to let a summary of here cuz if i suffer for not being able to write it, as it deserve, yall suffer with me for not being able to read it:

inspired by the music video of halsey's song colors, omegaverse iwaoi, where oikawa (18) is a dominant omega (a real one, who can bend an alpha with his pheromones) and iwaizumi (29) is an alpha. i know it sounds repetitive BUT KEEP READING!!

the oikawas are a pretty well-off family: daisuke (a lawyer with his own successful law firm) is the alpha dad, aoi (a social worker at an omega shelter) is the omega papa, tomiko is the eldest alpha daughter, and tooru is the youngest omega son. tomiko’s married but always stays in close contact with the family, and daisuke and aoi’s relationship is super healthy, making them a tight-knit family where oikawa grew up never lacking love.

but then adolescence hits hard and oikawa becomes ridiculously beautiful, flamboyant, smart, strong, attention-loving, totally into top and bottom dynamics, and most importantly, he LOVES teasing his dad, though daisuke always dishes it right back cuz they’re both stubborn as hell (but his dad really cares about him and only looks out for the best, just like his papa). actually oikawa gets along quite well with the rest of the omegas, but his closest friends are makki (an omega marked by beta mattsun) and suga (the epitome of perfection with a playful streak he rarely shows, and ofc engaged to daichi).

oikawa and hanamaki usually go to the sports club to play tennis because volleyball is not an omegas thing, and with suga he attends the music conservatory where he plays the violin. at the omegas institution, the three of them are in the sewing club (led by akaashi btw) although tooru has no fucking idea how to sew.

so, the story kicks off with makki and oikawa watching a volleyball match at the said prestigious miyagi sports club, where daisuke and a handful of alphas (and mattsun) play. among them is yutaro iwaizumi who happens to be a little bit in love with tooru (and even has a semi-blessing from the oikawas to court him). but, ofc, tooru has zero interest in that iwaizumi. his eyes are on the other alpha iwaizumi who plays volleyball too with his dad, the one who looks at him with those intense green eyes, the one with a dimple on his right cheek when he smiles, the one with a deep, gravelly voice that makes oikawa’s stomach flip, the one with an overwhelming presence, the one who smells like sandalwood and mint, the one with a broken mark on the nape of his neck.

hajime iwaizumi, the big bro of yutaro

AAAAAA DUDE, NOW I WANNA PICK IT UP AGAIN, IT’D BE SO GOOD I WANNA CRY. i wrote three chapters and half of the fourth, and honestly, it was so fun cuz i add humor and build a fun dynamic between the OCs (aka tooru’s parents) and tooru himself. ugh and don’t even get me started on the epic scenes i included, like oikawa getting into big trouble sneaking into an alpha institution just to smash a nut tart into the face of an alpha who’s allergic to nuts for revenge

— What are your writing strengths? —

wow i’ve never really stopped to think seriously about this, but i think im decent at conveying emotions (someone pls tell me this is a legit writing strength before i embarrass myself here), like, i try to make them feel real and almost palpable instead of leaving them just abstract. and maybe creativity too? im always looking for ways to avoid repetition and make everything feel smoother and more fluid

— What are your writing weaknesses? —

definitely describing places, i HATE that kind of description. i try my best, but if it’s already a struggle in spanish for me, just imagine doing it in english, i caaant every time it makes me want to bang my head against my laptop. oh and i feel like cant write long fics to save my life cuz i always feel like i wont be good enough to pull it off or that i’ll mess up squeezing the plot and fucking it up, and it drives me absolutely crazy but but i swear im trying to improve that aspect and one day get a long fic or a 10k+ one shot uploaded without dying in the attempt!!

— What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? —

i think its super funny (u cant comprehend the joy that comes over me when i read fics in english with argentinian oikawa saying dialogues in spanish), although its true that sometimes it hinders the reading a bit if one isnt fluent in the other language, its a good tool that makes the reading more interesting as long as its used well, i see it as another resource to make the reader more involved in the story imo

— What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? —

right now off the top of my head i’d looove to write kuroken, more bokuaka, some oihina, kenhina, definitely atsuhina, kagehina, and tanakiyo from haikyuu. and once i finish arcane, i’m literally DYING to dive into jayvik. also, i love love love kingdom (GO READ IT, ITS LEGENDARY), and i’d be so hyped to write something shin x qiang too

— What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? —

i really hate to choose i swear but the first one that cross my mind its hajime's premature death i had such a blast working on the plot, like driving iwaizumi insane with oikawa rocking a skirt has been soooo enriching. honestly, i think this might just be the most fun fic i’ve ever written

time for tagginggg @vvalllerie @winnterboobear @kingofech0park if yall want to do it, no pressure!! ღ

[bigmammallama5]

So this must have already been asked but I can never work tumblr’s search correctly. Is the creative life also your day job? Your work is amazing but like it is your side passion or just what also sustains you. How could I order your pottery work?

tumblr's search is mostly broken now so i'm not surprised lmao (i'm always happy to talk to yall even if it has been asked before)

I do have an actual creative career (with benefits and retirement!! LOL), I'm an art director in a small design firm and I specialize in retail package design and product photography. Most of you in the States (and probably Canada) have seen my work in the real world! It's very boring lol.

Ceramics is my true love, I think, but I don't have any desire to sell it myself online as I don't have the space to store inventory or funds to get the shipping materials (or even the clay materials) and would rather teach it. BUT. I will be selling some of my pottery very soon through the studio I learn/teach at, and I will post that link when I actually have it! They do ship at least within the States, and 60% of the sale will go to me.

But all my other creative adventures whether that's drawing or writing or any other activity that involves making with my hands are just for funsies and because it makes me happy. One of the best pieces of advice one of my bosses gave me when I first started was "You are in a creative job, make sure you have your own creative outlet that you don't monetize." And I stand by that. It keeps me sane, and that's also part of why I don't have an online ceramics shop or pushed a shop for prints too hard.

[dustified]

NAME : dust PRONOUNS : he/they NAME OF MUSE(S) : kenny mccormick, marceline abadeer, & heidi turner (to name just my non-request canon muses!); request muses include oz & damien from monster prom, prismo from adventure time / fionna & cake, and jane doe from ride the cyclone! (more canon muses are on their way, patience here please!) PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : discord for sure, mutuals can get my username thru tumblr DMs EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG ( MONTHS / YEARS? ) : roleplaying in general, about 15ish years by now? online, just short of a decade BEST EXPERIENCE : probably here? i've definitely made my closest online friends thru various tumblr rpcs, hell i've met my current boyfriend because of the tumblr rpc. out of all the fandoms tho i'd have to say the south park rpc, i've seen some takes that i'm not a fan of ngl but i personally have yet to see outright drama within the rpc, that's huge in my opinion RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : force shipping (i don't mind unrequited plots, but once it gets to a point where it seems like my muse is constantly telling yours "no", or i keep getting asked about it, that's where i kinda draw the line), excessive callout posting (if something is posted within good reason and reliable evidence, understandable, keep the rpcs safe, but if it's ongoing drama with unreliable sources or narrators i'm out), and constant pestering for replies especially when it comes to secondary / request / low activity muses (i am slow and have muse biases! i will not apologize for this). MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : i like to say "everything i touch turns to angst" but it IS a joke. i'm a fan of well-roundedness! i love slice-of-life fluff and softer threads, i love action-packed painful angst threads, i love comedic sometimes one-liner crack threads. smut i'm not the best at, especially in para-style, i'm extremely picky over who i'll write smut with. PLOTS OR MEMES : both, both are good. i work better off the fly, my brain's pretty scattered on the norm and the ideas that pop in my head are almost never fully fleshed out (at least they don't feel fleshed out very well), so plotting can get a little hard for me. but i do like both!! especially if we can get a good plot going. LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i mostly prefer longer replies, but as i said in the previous answer, i got bad scatterbrain most days. i take pride in any day i can get more than one reply written ngl lol BEST TIME TO WRITE : later in the day, think late afternoon to evening. typically depends on the day tho, work days get wonky because my job is fairly boring, my brain starts to wander and think about threads... ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : i have this thing where i only pick up muses i relate to in AT LEAST one aspect (/hj) sooooo... yeah, i think i'm like my muses. at least a little bit.

tagging: swiped from @prcspcr as he requested lol tagging: yall &lt;3

[kpoptarotvibes]

What's more disturbing to me to be honest is that apparently over there in Korea they can't seem to explore what's outside their circle and everyone is setting everyone up with their besties. Not me, too many people up in my business and then everyone has an opinion on what's going on in the relationship lol. I am honestly disappointed i thought Jk would venture out to find all kinds of people but well i guess in the end he chose the safe route (well not so much apparently they out here climbing on who knows what to film such angles) but well we really don't know these people. I am more perplexed with the amount of people he was seeing than anything else, and no I am not going to applaud him for being easy sorry, cause with this amount of people in such sort period of time, your standards can't be that decent. You best believe hybe ain't gonna comment on this but am honestly glad this came out, not for me to know his business but more so it shows character a lot, boy what?? titanic?? ride or die type of love?? get out here with them lies, and then not being satisfied with that attention and going on lives flirting with fans pretending to be together for 1 minute..i laughed so hard lol that's why i say it's better to portray your self as a 'bad' person and actually end up being pretty decent than striving to look like an angel and turn sour like expired milk like this...i probably sounded more mad than i actually i am about this, sorry but i can't with the kpop industry and them clean images when you're just like the boy next door but in fact worse cause you lie to millions lolll

Yes, Korean culture is very exclusive they only really talk to people who they know or grew up with in school or the neighborhood. Or they worked some years together. They really don't talk to strangers or people they don't know. I remember that being the one complaint when Americans were first moving to Korea. That no one talks to you.

Jungkook is still young and he has a lot more different experiences than other Koreans who have never been outside of Korea. So he still has time to date outside of Korean. I don't understand how this is a disappointment. Yall want him to date outside of Korea so bad. Like what if he don't want yall. What if he wants someone close to his culture where he doesn't have to explain everything culture-wise to them like he would if someone was outside of his culture. These are things yall love to skip over when it comes to BTS dating foreigners. Maybe they want someone they are comfortable with, with the same background as them. Maybe they don't enjoy staying up at night with you trying to explain why Korea is the way it is.

Plus why are you jumping to assumptions that he dating these girls and going from girl to girl? Like these girls could be his industry friends. Like we don't really know him or his circle. We just know what he shows us. Plus he is young he can date around most men do at his age. Hell everyone does so by your logic people who are trying to date and see what is right for them have low standards? Doesn't make sense to me if you live in the real world. And I don't know if you are aware but Korea is not big on the hook-up culture like America.

I'm not happy this came out because yall are invading his privacy. He in front the camera for yall 24/7 barely has a personal life. And when he does get some what of a personal life. Yall spy and video him. Damn he can't have one thing to himself.

And you keep forgetting Kpop is a business. Every company including Hybe manufactures images for their idols to have to draw you in for you to spend money on them. And guess what it works every fucking time. That's why half the fans are obsessed with him he plays his part well and gets his bills paid. Welcome to Kpop. Where very few idols are real and have control of their image. And most don't.

[sirmidezz]

Erm hellur fellas

I'm aware its been some time since I have been on here, a lot has happened and I mean A LOT. Lets start off with explanation on what has been going: I used to live in Mexico when I first started posting on here, at first I had an American phone which allowed me to do a variety of things such as draw digital art without my phone glitching, able to make posts without it buffering and then deleting my work. I then got a Mexican phone from an oxxo (basically a gas station :'[) and that phone didn't seem to work like at all and I kept on having complications. so I wasn't able to post for quite a lot of time, even before I got my new phone I had zero internet connection so I wasn't even able to get on the internet or do basically a lot of things. More recently though I moved back here to America, so I was pretty busy with everything and everyone. I wont say I will be able to post more often now with the big move and everything but this time I can and I will try to post at least once a week. Another thing I want to discuss is about the new stuff I will be making content about, I will be dedicating this account to team fortress, yes after all of these years my friends managed to finally drag me into this wacky fandom and game and I can say I love it a lot more then I expected. I still will be writing about all of my other fandoms and stuff but I just want to let yall know I'm gonna be stuck with tf2 for some time as my main. What I also am gonna disclaim is certain topics that really require a TW for S@. recently I underwent a very traumatic experience that really changed my life, I wont get into details, but I'm really hoping to find people to share my story with and heal alongside me as I journey through the the unknown silence that comes after the S@, and for anyone else reading this who has been through stuff like this just know, you are still loved, you are heard, you are seen, and your not fighting this battle alone, my page is a safe space for everyone who has suffered stuff like this and I hope to one day be able to not only see others heal greatly but to also see myself grow from the experience I have had. It's hard thinking that stuff like this would've never happened to you but it suddenly does and now your lost on a road you would have never expected to be on because you always had it in a very convincing vision. I'm glad I'm able to be back on this platform and explore new ideas and see how much my mutuals have grown, even if they moved onto different fandoms I probably wont be apart of anytime soon lol. But any who, a big announcement, I wont be posting art a lot anymore until further notice but, I still will be posting stuff like silly headcannons, short excerpts of storys' I will be working on and random play dialogue with my favorite characters and a few OCs and my self inserts if I'm feeling the mood to be in my own worlds. but anyways to end this little note I would like to say that after all of this waiting I'm finally 16 so as my mother told me to type "clear the streets the beast is running wild." a reference to the fact im old enough to drive legally. :)

[dellinah]

I worked at the Bronx Zoo in 1995 and there was an old man volunteering there who in the 1920s saw their live thylacine. Sad conversation with him b/c he'd always known it was a special opportunity to see it, but he couldn't describe it as anything special - what he was saying was what you would say if asked to describe the video clips. The pure experience of it cannot be transmitted. I have loved thylacines my whole life and feel cheated. We were all cheated.

Woah! Lucky you :D There are probably not that many (if any) people alive today who saw a thylacine as kids and were old enough then to remember it still, since the last one died in 1936. Pretty cool that you met someone who did and got the chance to talk to him about it! Even if he didn't find it that special, I'd say that that puts you closer to tassies than most of us will ever be in a way :P Not many people can say they saw an extinct animal alive, so I think that alone is pretty cool too. I'd have asked him to describe so many details he'd probs be annoyed, lol. I can see why some people would think they aren't special, but I do. Yes, a lot of the wonder and mistique around them comes from the fact that they are extinct, but I think they're special on their own.

Possums that looked like wolves. What's not to love?

I love that you sent this ask, actually. It warmed my thylacine-loving heart in a way :'3 have some other pictures I took in the museum as a thank you (the lighting there is terrible for pics, but hopefully you enjoy it still)

But honestly, I get you. There are things that can't be said with words, and I think experiences are one of those things. Even with the most eloquent of descriptions, I think you can never fully understand what someone else went through or felt at a certain situation. I know that if I got to see a living thylacine, I'd never be able to convey what it meant to me. Even if most people found it dumb/didn't get why it was special to me. Heck, people at the museum were probably confused as to why I was crying at a mounted animal oop

It's sad, but in a way, thylacines disappeared twice. Once when the last one passed away, and again when the last people who saw them alive passed away too. First they were gone, and lived on only as memories. Now that the memories are gone as well since those people are (most likely) gone too, we only have the ghosts - the pictures, the drawings, the videos, which shape the ideas we get of them. Like you said, you, and I, and anyone else who wishes to see them, were robbed.

All we have of the thylacine is old. A video I've seen a million times, pictures that will never move or make a sound. We were robbed of so much when it comes to them. We were robbed of their sound, of their colors, their behavior. We have nothing now. We'll never know what they sounded like, or watch them hunt, or learn more about them. Really, all we have is ghosts and other people's memories as we look at the pictures other people took.

And that will have to do.

Little story for yall: when I was at the museum, there was a little girl with her dad there too. She'd jump from one animal to another, asking him to tell her where each animal lived (as the exibitions were labeled by place of origin of the animals). They got to the tassie the same time that I did, and when she asked "where does this one live?" he read the sign and replied "It doesn't live anymore. It doesn't have a home anywhere. They're gone."

And then they walked away, and I didn't see them anymore. But man, that hit hard. I keep hearing that in my head, over and over again.

It doesn't live anymore.

It doesn't have a home anywhere.

They're gone.

That dad and little girl probably didn't think anything of it. But I'll never forget that. How thylacines once lived, once had a home.

And now, there's none.

Been thinking of incorporating those sentences into a drawing of them or smth. I know it's very r/im14andthisisdeep but let me weird about them ok they make me sad

But yeah, that's my thylacine rant for the night. Because there aren't enough of those in my blog :P Thanks again for this, as it allowed me to ramble oops. Hope you doing well!

[gaydennisreynolds]

Thanks! I read ur new macden fic and loved it :) In my last ask though lmao I meant to say not ENOUGH explicit fics of macden but my brain skipped a word when it made my fingers type them lol didn't mean to sound ungrateful for all the fanfic writers out here like @literatigeek doing the lord's work! But yeah there's so much room for fuckedup and kinky smut with these two (i'm just too chicken to write because of my 0 sexual experience with men glesbianing is hard yall i'm scared of research!)

thanks for the kind words bestie that means a lot <3

and yeah I agree even if there are smaller fandoms out there, just given the absolutely bonkers source material we have to draw from with its elements of toxicity and unresolved sexual tension, one would expect the macdennis fandom to have more smut.

& to address the last part of your ask - it may not seem like it given the contents of this blog but in Real Life I'm genuinely a Kinsey 6 lesbian, married to another woman, not having sex with men at all...in fact I've read a lot of fic where it's clear to me that the author has never had sex before and the smut is still good! If you want to write you should write don't let yourself fall victim to the idea that you have to be a certain kind of person with certain experiences to tell stories <3

[thisdreamplace]

hi dreamplace. i need some advice. i’ve been wanting to manifest having a hairless body because shaving is like a killer. 💀 it’s so frustrating seeing the 3d with unwanted bs. so i looked into laser hair removal today and I have enough money for the down payment but then i have to pay monthly for the rest. that sounds like shit for me. 😭😭😭 if a do it, i’ll have to force myself to find a job to pay it off. idek if that’ll work out well for me bc life has been such a struggle for me, sadly. in the end, i guess it’s best if I keep trying to manifest the hair away. bc the money situation stresses me out. so ig the i just need advice on, what do you do when the 3d is showing what you don’t want continuously?? it’s not even just the shaving that gets on my nerves, there’s a career path that I want but literally everything i want just never shows but it dangles in my face lol. just like the laser hair removal. i literally got a full consultation with the nicest woman ever. i got excited, just for my ass to not be able to do it. 🤣 it’s sad but i have to laugh. just ugh. i wish i had a secret code to finally get shit to go right for me, even the smallest things. 😩

hewwo <3

if the 3d is continuously not showing me what i want, i move into acceptance and surrender. bc im done. i'm not about to keep getting so caught up in smth when i have a choice, and could be using my time to enjoy whats going on in my present life. period !

here's the thing about it, u have to feel out ur feelings and allow them to be there. allow the disappointment and frustration but also surrender to it. it essentially feels like giving up. the thing is, u get a lot more clear about everything thru this and youre not so clouded by ur own fears anymore. for example, in ur ask u are so focused on how hard u think ur life is. but its like. to be fair i'm not going to tell u to keep sitting there and trying to force in ur hair being gone thru a manifestation bc clearly its been frustrating for u. however ! even after being so close to get what u want, instead of being open to it u went back to the drawing board talkin about some "even if i got a job whats the point nothing works out well" like !! wat ? how are u going to let life change and allow in ur blessings when u rather reject them... immediately ! so what if u fail ? u did smth different, u stopped pouting about lack and u tried to do smth u enjoyed. that counts for so much more than people give it credit for !! i would really urge u to stop using ur life till now as a blueprint and allow life, when it comes knocking with opportunities, and to allow yourself, to be open to whats coming into view for u. the more u focus on that and less on problems (past or imaginary) the more you'll see things shifting. thats just a fact ! plus i do wanna say too many of yall are obsessed with these wizard results (idk how else to call them rn) that u can't even see a success in front of you. and trust ik those type of successes exist bc it has happened to me plenty. but ALSO. life is a journey before it is wizards of waverly place. in my mind, i would have been like omg ! laser hair removal ! i can afford it rn and the consultation was great ! THIS MUST BE IT. but u saw it is as NOT a successful manifestation and ur saying maybe u should just sit there hoping ur hair disappears ? idgi. sometimes things just kinda appear, thats true. sometimes you actually go through a process and get to experience life. and that is amazing and exciting !

also emphasis on ALLOWING. allowing change, allowing opportunities, allowing emotions, allowing fears, allowing life to be what you want. bc rn this was a moment for u to see even if life gives u what u want, ur not going to allow it. but like a post i recently reblogged said, an anon was saying how they finally realized they already had so much of what they were sitting there thinking they lacked ! like omg, its so insane but so beautiful when we wake up to it. u only saw obstacles in that moment, which highlights ur focus ! let this be a moment of renewal and moving forward in an entirely diff direction ! <3

the secret code is fully you and the way you are perceiving life. its not any technique or challenge out there. our good doctor joe dispenza could really help u on this if u like reading. reading his book, "breaking the habit of being yourself" was the most pivotal thing for me to finally realize how i had been so caught up in who i thought i was, that i wouldnt even allow things to be different and yet i would sit there frustrated about why my 3d isnt shifting in the ways i intended. that book really makes you confront who you actually live as, and helps you start making the shifts into who you actually want to be. this is how your life begins to truly change.

[iishmael]

Dear @galexy-astra, thank you so much for tagging me! HUGS <333333

I am absolutely using this to talk about my current Book Slut Behaviour (TM) so thank you for giving me an opening for that. Putting a read more to keep yalls dashes clean and hygienic. <3

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

Book I'm Currently Reading: I am currently going WILD with reading, and I'm on my mission to read my way a) through the 100 Best Books according to TIMES list and check out the Nobel prize for Lit winners, b) "around the world" (one book per country), and c) read classics I've always wanted to read but have never gotten around to. This is an open-ended mission though and I'm not doing it all in one year or some such insanity.

Bygone Days: O'tkan Kunlar by Abdullah Qodiriy. An Uzbek author telling a love story and the various obstacles the main characters have to deal with, giving a fantastic account of Uzbek culture in the 19th century.

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (through Dickens Daily). Guys I'm sorry I hate Charles Dickens and reading it in small bits and pieces is the only way I'll ever finish one of his books. rip

Frankenstein by Mary Shelly (through Frankstein Weekly). It just started yesterday!!! Sign upppp for some Gothic Goodness!!

Next books to read are Typee by Herman Melville (I loved Moby Dick so much I need more Melville in my life) and The Home and the World by Rabindranath Tagore (Nobel prize and pretty cover, I am too easy).

What I usually wear: Skinny jeans, Nike sneakers, and a crop top or jumper (weather permitting). At work, cigarette trousers, a simple shirt, and a blazer or nice coat.

How tall I am: 170 cm (5 foot 7)

My star sign. Do I know any celebrities or historical event that shares it: Aquarius. Yes I know of some but they're all unfavourable so I ignore them!

Do I go by a name or nickname: Sam is my nickname, Samantha is my full name :)

Did I grow up to be what I wanted to be as a child: Oh dear. Absolutely not, archaeology and heritage were always just a 'obviously I'm interested' but never a passion before I ended up with it by complete coincidence... but I don't think my child-self would be disappointed. She would shrug it off that I changed disciplines like two hundred times lol.

Something I'm good at vs Something I'm bad at: I am good with Excel and I am bad at ball sports!

If I draw or write, what's my favourite of anything I created this year?: I have not yet written anything this year, at all, outside of work... :(

Dogs or cats: Cats!

Something I would like to make content for: I would like to get back into writing, no matter what for! Original, my old ships, Moby Dick, something new that I enjoyed like interview with the vampire,,, someone enable me

Something I was excited about that turned out to disappoint me: Living in Paris LMAOOO this is very cliche and I'm not even disappointed by the city itself, but dear god the people are so incredibly rude! It's frankly disheartening

Hidden talent: I write song texts for my dad's (hobby) hard rock band and they recently studio recorded a song I wrote!!!

Something I wish to have at this very moment: The confirmation email for my phd funding... :( i will not know about it for another couple of months tho

Tagging (no pressure!!!): @game-set-canet @backwardsandinhighheels @blorbocedes @historygeek12 @gp2engine and everyone else who comes across this and would like to do it! <3

[undermattsun-archive]

japan national team x reader | w.c 1.3k

a/n: omg guys here’s the super cute epic collab fic i made w all my frieednsies <33 we all worked superrrr hard on this so pls don’t be mean!!!!!!!!! pls enjoy its xoxox and don’t forget to follow everyone here on this kidnapped by hq collab <33333333333

warnings: not proofread bc who does that xD (guys pls free me from this hell i’m in so much pain i didn’t even look at this i skimmed over it i left it as is, gg)

Read this while lsitening to the best song evar!!!!!!!!!!!1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_cXhBy78T4&ab_channel=JonasBrothers if you dont listen whil reading ill eat ur family MONCH MONCH MONCH

i go dwnstars, yelling ‘by mum!’ bfor laceing up my wite convrrse hightops (NOT blck becauz u cant sharpi on it) wth 1d lyrics scribbled on it. i rmb to draw a directioner infinite sign on mywrist. perfect, i think to mysdlf.

I never thot i would get to go to the olympics all the way on the other side of the planet in toky o japan! It was a dream come true for a simple, average, run of the mill girrl like me, who is 5’7 with naturally wavy hair, that’s not curly or strait and eyes as blue as the dark blue part of the ocean. 

I been dreaming of the olypoics since fetus. I just knew I had to be here, but I never thought it would actually happen. The only thing that would make it better is if I had a smezxy smexy boyfrwend! (A/n: Tee-hee! Maybe even two! (Or five! <333) haha! Aren’t I so quirky? <3)

I’m Wearing A Mint Green Crop Top That Ties In The Front And Some Denim Shorts With Black Converse. I Don’t Need Makeup Because My Skin Is Naturally Smooth And Clear And My Lips Are Already Red #wokeuplikethis And I Listened Only To MCR And P!ATD On The Plane Ride. I Bet You Dont Know Who They Are, THey’re My Favorite Banxds And Are Super GOod And Like Underground Bands. (A/n: Okay But If You Don’t LIke Welcome TO THe BLack Parade GTFO Of My FIc I Don’t Need YOu Here xoxo) 

ok so like,, im on my way to the olympics but then like, i get kidnapped !!! the car i was in was like super expensive and i cant see anything with the blindfold on. i hear voices of men all around me though, for like, a whole 30 minutes before they bring me somewhere and tie me up? "Take Her BLindfold off," one of them say, i hear. and im so nervous. but it's like a dream when they tug my blindfold off and im met with the prettiest emerald orbs ever looking back at me.

my stomach knotted in fear (more like an angry swarm of butterflies fluttering around ) i feel like screaming or squealing or both bc those eyes belong to someone so gorgeous . even more gorgeous than harry styles. hes like a god. i woukd so worship his foot. or something. (squee omg i can’t believe this is happening. i bet you wish that it was you huh?) 

bro who tf has emerald orbs green eyes im blanking rn

^ yo i was gonna ask i cannot for the life of me remember who

his #afff14 sppheres peered into my soul i really just felt seen. i took a deep breath before fainting he was just so pretty. *one hours later* i woke upa nd saw the pretty viridescent peepers staring into mine. like he was literally two inches away from my face omg i could feel his minty breath on my lips it smelled so good.

“My name is atsumu miya,” he said gruffly, the gruffness in his voice so gravely. “And me and me mates here think yer the most gorgeous girl weve ever seen. I blink up at him, orbs gleaming amd full of tears. 

“What do u mean, i’m just a normal quirky girl?” I say shakely, biting my lip. I bit my lip as the piss blond man spoke.

“You don’t know ur beautiful.” YOUR INSECURE DONT KNOW WHAT FOR YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WAlk THROUGH THE DO OO OOOOOR

“U may be a normal quirky girl but ur OUR nroaml quirky girl now” his friend said with a deep voice. It was so deep that i almost thot it was like the ocean, he had curly balck hair and his eye were sooo mysterious (a/n i loooove sakusa i can’t believe him and his friends kindapped me omgggg XD)

“Stop it go away” osamu said (hee hee i can never remmber  tell which twin is which LOL i think its osamuuu) “no u have to share” sakusa responded angrily. I starred at them and didn’t know what theyd do next!

I looked over to he side ans see sakura pulling out hand sanitizer passing it around to his teamates. The green orbed boys huff as they put it on. i wished i could see his whole face hes so sedy, look over here pretty girl, i gasp pulled from my thoughts by their captain kita walking into the room with his hands on his hips and was theat aran? “You look even better in peroiusn” aran said to me, walking over to me “how do you know who i am?” i ask.

“listen bbygurl...” he yealls, pulling out a chair to sit acros from me. “you dont get to ask the questions, we are your new masters, and you shall do as we say.” i gulp nervously, my stomach feeling like a sharkndao is happening inside. “we hope u will be worth every penny we payed foru.” 

“M-m-m-masters?” my head felt like it was spinning in a teacup from disney land as i thought about what he just said to me. what did this mean? was i gooing to miss the olympics?? I wanted ot hate him with his super smug look on his face but i cant deny that he looks kind of hot and i’m into guys who look just like him,, the other guys r also relly attractive it makes my heart race. I look around trying to find answers when i make eye contact w a really really reall y tall guy who i thinks name is gao only to see another really really relly tall guy next to him,, hyakuzawa?

“what are yo going to do to me then?” ((*lenny face))

you ask, stomach bubbling. maybe i shoudnt have ateen that stale pizza earlier and washed it down with watermelon-lemon minute maid because now i felt like it was gonna come up. ((ew gross um tw vomit mention hehe)

“Dont worry were going to grab seme din din soon lil one,” one of them says. His name espapes me. Hes a ginger. They wont answer me for some reason and i suddenly miss my freedom when i would go to school (i go to an expesive private school for rich kids ahahah).

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??” i yell again batting my fists against the ginger but he doesnt even blink. Ive decided hes hot but in a short king kinda way. His hair reminded me of of like cheeto coloured fine thread woven into waves.,,, like the ocean xD (ans...this has an ocean theme)

sudenly there was another voice it was yalling “BOKE HINATA BOKER” i looked with my stricking dark blue orbs and there wasd inother pair of stricking dark blueor bs like the ocean and blck hair. his voicde was veryy deelp an sexxcy (a/n lololol i luv u gakeyama kun *w*)

theres suddenly a loud voice in ur ear screaming directly into ur eardrum " BAKA KAGYEAMA BAKA"  (wtf our they communicating ????  ? )    i cringe at the yellign and another pair of strong arms bulls me away . i land against a hard, solid chest, i can feel the six pack thru his track Suit. 

and then my alarm clock playin what makes u beatyful goes off n i woke up. 

amen.

i rub my eyes wakng up, starrn into the mirror at my super borng brwn ugly eyes and brsh my equaly borng brwn hair. i lok up at m wall and see harey stylz and niallr starinf back at me on t walls. i sigh dreamily. they wud twll me my brwn uairs beatufil. 

[fictionalsownme]

lengthy life update (/vent) for anyone interested 💞(tw for things like life stressors, moving, anxiety, etc)

Hi everyone :) so I just wanted to take a sec to update yall on my life and what’s been keeping me so busy. This is gonna be pretty venty but they’ll be a tdlr at the end if you’d like that instead 💞

As some of you probably know already, I just went through a huge move with my partner. We went from living on the East coast on a farm with my family, to a big city in California on our own. We had (and still have) good reasons to do this that I still stand by, and we knew it would be hard, but it’s been so much weirder than I expected.

It’s been hard to be away from my family and to be in a big city that doesn’t feel safe. We’re alright, don’t get me wrong, and after staying with my partner’s family for a few months we both got jobs that we like and we were already able to get our own place which has been really cool.

But now that we’ve moved in and are living on our own for the first time day to day, it’s the weirdest feeling in the world. Unpacking boxes has been taking so much longer than I thought, and there’s so much to keep track of, with new things getting stacked on all the time (for example, someone stole a part from our car while I was working, super expensive to fix 🙄).

There’s a million things I want to improve about my life and about myself (I want to dye my hair, I want to exercise, I want to organize the house and declutter my wardrobe, etc etc) but I’m too busy managing everything day to day. This has always been an issue of mine for a long time, but whereas before it was more of an excuse for myself, now it feels like I have no choice.

My anxiety has also been pretty bad. It makes sense, but it suckssssss. I’m anxious driving, going to work, for literally no reason at all lol, etc. I had my first “panic attack” in over six months the other day (in quotations because I’ve never had a doctor able to give a diagnosis, we just assume). They really mess with my memory, which just makes everything weirder 😓.

I also really miss tumblr! I miss drawing and working on the game and stuff. We get more things set up and unpacked every day, so I think I should be able to get started again sometime soon. The idea of that makes me SO excited. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but doing art for work is my dream. Like game development, or a webtoon, or even just regular commissions! I want to work on my projects like they’re already my job, but that’s really not practical rn :( I think I’m almost there though!!

And things haven’t been all bad! I have my dog with me here now! For those three months we stayed with relatives, she had to stay with my family on the East coast, but she’s here now!! And living on your own, while scary and overwhelming, is a huge privilege and I know I’m super lucky that it’s even an option for me. I hope no one thinks I’m being ungrateful, I know I’m super lucky for the opportunities I have, it’s just hard rn. But I know it will pass eventually! And if it doesn’t, I have more options and paths to try! I just gotta stick it out for a bit, and I know I’ll be happier soon.

I wanna thank you all so much for all the love and support that you’ve given me, especially while I’ve been gone. I really hope I can come back soon and grow this blog into something special! Thank you guys for your patience and for listening to me rant 💞 I can’t wait to come back full time 🥰💞 feel free to send me any asks or message me or anything like that if you need someone to talk to or have any questions. I hope you’re all having a great day, and if not, I hope things get better for you soon 💞

tldr: I just moved and things have been really hard lately, but I can’t wait to come back hopefully sometime soon. Thank you all so much for all the love, support, and patience 💞