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Ayo! I haven't answered asks in FOREVER, so it's time for some spring cleaning :) Also answering other stuff, like what I've been up to.
If you sent an ask and it's not here, sorry! I may have deleted it because the prompt required too much work of me and I wasn't feeling it, or I was uncomfortable.
Let's gooooo !
Firstly - where have I been? Work REALLY picked up in a way I wasn't expecting over the last...4 months? I was working double and often triple the hours I was used to. With work, vacations, random illnesses, and many video games I got a bit too obsessed with, this blog took a backseat. Plus, sometimes I get disinterested in vore when obsessed with something else. Sometimes, that lasts months, and it did this time.
But now I can confirm that work will FINALLY chill for a long period of time. I'm free! And more motivated than ever! Wahoo! Thanks for your support ALWAYS.
Next big question - when am I going to do more of my story? The one with Asyr? AHHHHHGHHGHH this story has consumed my life. I think about it daily. I dream about it. And yet I'm not as comfortable writing as I am drawing, so writing is a slow process that my perfectionist ass struggles with. I can assure you that there is a story in the works - and I am working on it at a snail's pace.
Okay, ask time...
@ponyluvesonic09 AYO maybe I'll make a full ghost pred pros/con list for you, because that sounds awesome! Kir//by is one of the silliest canon preds out there. Honestly getting eaten by him would be like getting vored by a vacuum, LOL. Galaxy tummy!! Imagine a prey floating around in one of those item bubbles all grumpy. Thank u for the ask, this is good stuff.
no. ( /ć»ć»)ć
UWAGHHHHH I LIKE HER!!! Never played O/verwat/ch but what a gem!! I have a random fondness for centaur-like preds nowadays. She looks so cozy. THANK U I LOVE HER!!!
@tiger9o0 I have not played r//ain w//orld or know what it's about, LOL. Looks like a platformer? Man, I'm terrrriiiiibblleee at those. But whoever this is on the cover, I LIKE EM. A+. (That might not answer ur question shdjbghkjg SORRY)
@heimkoheimkofan LOVE THAT I GOT THE ROBOT ENJOYERS AFTER THAT ONE POST....YES yall are so right and I'm so wrong for just hard metal robot tums. I will rectify my mistake soon I PROMISE. Also oh! You were the one asking about stomachs other than elemental ones! IVE HAD THAT IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER IM SORRY AHHHH. I REALLY love your imagination with tums and you've inspired me to think of some awesome environments! THANKS
@fastfur07 BWAH?? Ugh I'm all over the place when it comes to art. Some pieces take 30 min (like the zangooc I drew at the top of this post), most take 2 days. Some really hard drawings like my wolf bat creechur from a few months ago and my shrimp from last year took a month. THANK U??
We're going back so far that I think this is about my naga oc (which I'm in the midst of redesigning cough cough). For him, he would never tolerate being prey, extremely unwilling bahaha. In general, I haven't thought much about naga or snake prey! I get the appeal of slurping up a noodle, but I just prefer human prey :)
@fastfur07 you fiend, you always give me the best drawing ideas. UNFORTUNATELY, I didn't have time to draw something for this one. BUTTTT....
(i've had this next one in my drafts for forever)
then i had a silly comic. I'll post the wip here because I won't finish it, so enjoy bahaha.
@blizzaria123-blog THANK U im rapidly melting into a puddle from ur words
@mrpotatomanversionsix relevant. i will continue drawing them 4 u
?!??!!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!? how dare u enter my ask box with this blasphemy
@sfwsillynoms WAH!!! you!!! I'm currently redesigning my naga oc but when I finish I'll tag you, if you're still around! And he can 100% be drawn with ur preysona :)
@mystorl i am SO late to this, but SMART. I like it. I shall give my lil guy this friend. I just want to let u know that I see this and it's wonderful and I will do something abt it.
I remember this ask made me laugh a ton when I first got it. thank u. idk why I find this so funny
@sillylilprey IM CRYING RIGHT BACK AHHHH this is an ancient ask, but thank u! hope you're still enjoying!
@terrytheinsane finally, the last ask in my askbox. I love it. You have been wronged with how long it took me to answer you. I have gained knowledge from your ask. THANKS
AND THAT'S IT!! Thanks guys, I hope to make you proud! Feel free to send more asks, and hopefully I will answer in a TIMELY manner.
Goodnight! And remember: Nice Vore įą¼¼āā -ā ą¼½į
#zan asks#phew that was an essay#tldr im a lot more free now aaaanddd I shall answer asks in a more timely manner from now on#and i say thank u a lot#i appreciate and read EVERY ask#zan art#zangooc
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@crossrole-undertaleau @gay-gremlin-is-gay @childrenstoryhour @voidbody-with-staticbones @godofautism
Thank you all so much! i dunno what to do when people leave nice asks so, check it out i tried pixel art :D
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I came here for the silly haha doodles, but I've stayed for the absolutely blazing commentary in the tags. Your analysis of this story is so so so good! Thanks for all the work and thought you put into this!
I am just a silly little comics blog. I am not hiding anything in the tags, no way. Never.
#ask#digital art#I truly am grateful for the amount of people that not only read my journal-essay-thoughts on my comics#but also take the time to respond and/or write their own thoughts on the themes and scenes.#I really love taking apart stories and seeing how the threads weave together. Like flipping over an embroidered tapestry!#Some people thinks it ruins the illusion of what a story is - to me it *elevates* the experience to see the seams.#It's like knowing how they did the practical effects and stunts in a movie. It give you a deeper appreciation for the work that went into i#Thank you for acknowledging the work I put into every part of this project!#When I started drawing I....well...wasn't really the strongest with my visuals.#Humorously recapping scenes played off of my strengths (silly billying) and also just made the project *fun*.#But right from the start I also wanted to take my time and marinate on the themes and journal my thoughts.#I never really expected people to read them!#What might seem like a quick comic takes me several hours and I often spend a good bit of time with my tag essays too.#I owe so much to everyone who's dropped by to cheer me on and make this blog into part of the community.#to those who just lurk or drop by once in a blue moon - I thank you as well for coming along for the journey.#So even though it adds extra time; these little essays are a treat for you B*)
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So I could be totally wrong but, I believe it was sort of expected that men/gentlemen lose their virginity before marriage in regency times. But I also thereās some fandom ādebateā about whether or not Mr Darcy wouldāve had sex before getting married. So I was just curious about what your canon for Mr Darcy in T3W is. Is he a virgin or not?
I knew someone would ask me this eventually, haha. I've actually had really long conversations with my beta reader about this trying to figure it out. It sounds like this might all be stuff that youāve already seen discussed in the fandom, but Iāve never thought about it deeply before and so these are new thoughts to me.
I keep going over the historical real-world likelihood, the authorial intent, and the text itself but Iām still not 100%. Iāll explain my thinking and what I find most likely, but hereās your warning that itās not a clear cut yes/no.
Because on one hand, at that time period it was most common for men in his position to have seen sex workers or have casual encounters/mistresses with women from their estates. Though I do absolutely believe not all men did that, no matter how much wealth and power they had. To go back some centuries, William the Conqueror seemed to be famously celibate (no hints of male lovers either according to the biography I read) until his marriage, and there's no evidence of affairs after it either. The best guesses as to why are that it was due to his religious devotion and the problems that had arisen from himself being a bastard and not wanting to recreate that situation. Concerns over religion and illegitimate children would certainly still have been applicable in the regency to men who thought that way. And in modern times I've seen sex workers say that when an 18/21yo is booked in by his family/friends to 'become a man' often they end up just talking and agree to lie about the encounter. After all, itās not like every man wants casual sex, even if they arenāt demisexual or something in that vein. But, statistically speaking, the precedent of regency gentlemen would make Darcy not a virgin.
On the other hand, just how aware was Jane Austen, the very religious daughter of a country rector, of the commonness of this? Thereās a huge difference between knowing affairs and sex workers existed (and no one who had seen a Georgian newspaper could be blind to this) and realising that the majority of wealthy men saw sex workers at some point even if they condemned the more public and profligate affairs. The literature for young ladies at the time paints extramarital sex - including the lust of men outside of marriage - as pretty universally bad and dangerous. This message is seen from 'Pamela' and other gothic fiction to non-fiction conduct books which Jane Austen would have encountered. Here's something I found in 'Letters to a Young Lady' by the reverend John Bennett which I found particularly interesting as it's in direct conversation with other opinions of the era:
"A reformed rake makes the best husband." Does he? It would be very extraordinary, if he should. Besides, are you very certain, that you haveĀ powerĀ to reform him? It is a matter, that requires some deliberation. This reformation, if itĀ isĀ to be accomplished, must take place before marriage.Ā ThenĀ ifĀ ever,Ā is the period ofĀ yourĀ power. But how will you be assured that he is reformed? If heĀ appearsĀ so, is he not insidiouslyĀ concealingĀ his vices, to gain your affections? And when he knows, they are secured, may he not, gradually, throw off the mask, and be dissipated, as before? Profligacy of this kind is seldom eradicated. It resembles someĀ cutaneousĀ disorders, whichĀ appearĀ to be healed, and yet are, continually, making themselves visible by fresh eruptions. A man, who has carried on a criminal intercourse with immoral women is not to be trusted, His opinion ofĀ allĀ females is an insult to their delicacy. His attachment is toĀ sexĀ alone, under particularĀ modifications.
The definition of a rake is more than a man who has seen a sex worker once, it's about appearance and general conduct too, but again, would that distinction be made to young ladies? Because they seem to simply be continuously taught 'lust when unmarried is bad and beware men who you know engage in extramarital sex.' As a side note, Jane Austen certainly knew at least something about the mechanics of sex: her letters and literature she read alludes to it, and she grew up around farm animals in the countryside which is an education in itself.
We can also see from this exert that the school of thought seems to be 'reformed rake' vs 'never a rake' in contention for the title of best husband, there's no debate over whether a current rake is unsuitable for a young lady. And, from Willoughby to Wickham to Crawford, I think we have a very clear idea of Jane Austen's ideas of how likely it is notably promiscuous men can reform. This does not preclude the possibility that her disparaging commentary around their lust is based more on over-indulgence or the class of women they seduce, but it's undoubtedly a condemnation of such men directly in line with the first part of what John Bennett says so it's no stretch to believe she saw merit in the follow-on conclusions of the second part as well. Whether she would view it with enough merit to consider celibacy the only respectable option for unmarried men is a bit unclearer.
I did consider that perhaps Jane Austen consciously treated this as a grey area where she couldnāt possibly know what young men did (the same reasoning is why we never see the men in the dining room after the ladies retire, etc) and so didn't hold an opinion on men's extramarital encounters with sex workers/lower-class women at all, but I think there actually are enough hints in her works that this isnāt the case. Though, unsurprisingly, given the delicacy of the subject, thereās no direct mention of sex workers or gentlemen having casual lovers from among the lower-classes in her texts.
That also prevents us from definitively knowing whether she thought extramarital sex was so common, and as unremarkable, as most gentlemen treated it. But we do see from her commentary around the consequences of Maria Bertram and Henry Crawford's elopement that she had criticism of the double standards men and women were held to when violating sexual virtue. Another indication that she perhaps expected good men to be capable of waiting until marriage in the way that she very clearly believed women should. At the very least, a man who often indulges in extramarital sex does not seem to be one who would be considered highly by Jane Austen.
She makes a point of saying, in regards to not liking his wife, that Mr Bennet āwas not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice.ā This must include affairs, though cheating on a wife cannot be a 1:1 equivalent of single young men sleeping around before marriage. However, the latter is generally critically accepted to be one of the flaws that Darcy lays at Wickhamās door along with gambling when talking about their youth and his āvicious propensities" and "want of principle." Though this could be argued that itās more the extent or publicity of it (but remembering that it couldn't be anything uncommon enough that it couldn't be hidden from Darcy Sr. or explained away) rather than the act itself, or maybe seductions instead of paying women offering those services. I also believe Persuasion mentioning Sunday travelling as proof of thoughtless/immoral activity supports the idea that Jane Austen might have been religious enough that she would never create a hero who had extramarital sex.
So, taken all together this would make Darcy potentially a virgin, or, since I couldn't find absolute evidence of her opinions, leave enough room that he isnāt but extramarital sex isnāt a regular (or perhaps recent) thing and he would never have had anything so established as a mistress.
Iāve also been wondering, if Darcy isnāt a virgin, who would he have slept with? Iāve been musing on arguments for and against each option for weeks at this point. No romantasy has ever made me think about a fictional man's sexual habits so much as the question of Darcy's sexual history. What is my life.
Sex workers are an obvious answer, and the visits wouldnāt have raised any eyebrows. Discretion was part of their job, it was a clean transaction with no further responsibilities towards them, and effective (and reusable, ew) condoms existed at this time so there was little risk of children and no ability to exactly determine the paternity even if there was an accident. It was a fairly āresponsibleā choice if one wanted no strings attached. In opposition to this, syphilis was rampant at the time, and had been known to spread sexually for centuries. Sex workers were at greater risk of it than anyone else and so the more sensible and risk-averse someone is (and I think Mr Darcy would be careful) the less likely they would be to visit sex workers. Contracting something that was known as potentially deadly and capable of making a future wife infertile if it spread to her could make any intelligent and cautious man think twice.
Servants and tenants of the estate are another simple and common answer. Less risk of stds, it can be based on actual attraction more than money (though money might still change hands), and is a bit more intimate. But Wickhamās called wicked for something very similar, when he dallies (whether he only got to serious flirting, kissing, or sleeping with them I donāt think we can conclusively say) with the common women of Meryton: āhis intrigues, all honoured with the title of seduction, had been extended into every tradesman's family.ā And it isn't as though Wickham had any personal duty towards those people beyond the claims of basic dignity. Darcy, who is shown to have such respect and understanding for his responsibilities towards the people of his estate and duties of a landlord, would keenly feel if any of his actions were leading his servants/tenants astray and down immoral paths. Servants, especially, were considered directly under the protection of the family whose house they worked in. I think it's undoubtable that Mrs Reynolds (whose was responsible for the wellbeing - both physically and spiritually - of the female servants) would not think so well of Mr Darcy if he had experimented with maids in his youth. It would reflect badly on her if a family entrusted their daughter to her care and she 'lost her virtue' under her watch. Daughters/widows of others living on the estate not under the roof of Pemberley House are a little more likely, but still, if he did have an affair with any of them I can only think it possible when he was much younger and did not feel his duties quite so strongly. Of course lots of real men didn't care about any of this, but Darcy is so far from being depicted as careless about his duties that the narrative makes a point of how exceptional his quality of care was. Frankly, it's undeniable that none of Jane Austen's heroes were flippant about their responsibilities towards those under their protection. I cannot serious entertain an interpretation that makes Darcy not, at his current age, at least, cognizant of the contemporary problems inherent in sleeping with servants or others on his estate.
A servant in a friendās house would remove some of that personal responsibility, but transfer it to instead be leading his friendās servants astray and in a manner which he is less able to know about if a child did result. That latter remains a problem even if we move the setting to his college, so not particularly likely for his character as we know itā¦ though it wouldnāt be unusual for someone to be more unthinking and reckless in their teenage years than they are at twenty-eight so I donāt think having sex then can be ruled out. Kissing I can much more easily believe, especially when at Oxford or Cambridge, but every scenario of sleeping with a lower-class woman has some compelling arguments against it especially the closer we get to the time of the novel.
Men did of course also have affairs with women of ranks similar to their own, though given Jane Austenās well-known feelings towards men who āruinedā the virtue of young ladies we can safely say that Darcy never slept with an unwed middle- or upper-class woman. Any decent man would have married them out of duty if it got so far; but if he was the sort to let it get so far, I think it impossible Jane Austen would consider him respectable. Widows are a possibility, but again, the respectable thing to do would be to marry them. Perhaps a poorer merchantās widow would be low enough that marriage is off the table but high enough that the āleading astrayā aspect loses its master-servant responsibilities (though the male-female āprotect the gentler sexā aspect remains) but his social circle didnāt facilitate meeting many ladies like that. Plus, an affair with a woman in society would remove many layers of privacy and anonymity that sex-workers and lower-class lovers provided by simply being unremarkable to the world at large. It carries a far greater risk of scandal and a heavier sense of immorality in the terms of respecting a womanās purity which classism prevented from applying so heavily to lower-class women.
I think itās important to note here that something that removes the need to think about duties of landlords towards the lower-classes or gentlemen towards gentlewomen is having affairs with other men of a similar rank. But, aside from the risk of scandal and what could be called the irresponsibility of engaging in illegal acts, itās almost certain that Jane Austen would never have supported this. For a devout author in this era the way Iām calculating likelihoods makes it not even a possibility. But if you want to write a different fanfiction (and perhaps something like a break-up could explain why Darcy doesnāt seem to have any closer friend than someone whom he must have only met two or so years ago despite being in society for years before that) it does have that advantage over affairs with women of equal- and lower-classes. I support alternate interpretations entirely ā it just isnāt how Iām deciding things in this instance.
I keep coming back to the conclusion that, at the very least, Darcy hasnāt had sex recently and it was never a common occurrence. It wouldnāt surprise me if Jane Austen felt he hadnāt done it ever. Kissing, as we can see from all the parlour games at the time, wasnāt viewed as harshly, so I think heās likely made out with someone before. But in almost every situation it does seem that the responsible and religious thing to do (which Jane Austen values so highly) is for it to never have progressed to sex. I also donāt think it conflicts with his canon characterisation to say that he wouldnāt regard sexual experience as a crucial element of his life thus far, and his personality isnāt driven to pursue pleasure for himself, so itās entirely possible that he would never go out of his way to seek it. So, Iām inclined to think that the authorial and textual evidence is in favour of Darcy being a virgin even if the real-world contemporary standard is the opposite. (Though both leave enough room for exceptions that Iām not going to argue with anyone who feels differently; and even if you agree with all my points, you might simply weight authorial intent/textual evidence/contemporary likelihoods differently than I do and come to a different conclusion).
Remember that even if Darcy is a virgin this wouldnāt necessarily equate to lack of knowledge, only experience. There were plenty of books and artwork focused on sex, and Darcy, studious man that he is, would no doubt pay attention to what knowledge his friends/male relatives shared. Though some of it (Looking especially at you, 'Fanny Hill, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure') should NEVER be an example of appropriate practice for taking a woman's virginity. Darcy would almost certainly have been taught directly or learnt through exposure to other men talking to make sex good for a woman ā it was a commonly held misconception (since Elizabethan England, I believe) that women had to orgasm to conceive. It would be in his interests as an empathetic husband, and head of a family, to know how to please his wife.
Basically, Iām convinced Darcy isnāt very experienced, if at all, and will be learning with Elizabeth. But he does have a lot of theoretical knowledge which heās paid careful attention to and is eager to apply.
#sorry for how my writing jumps around from quoting sources to vaguely asserting things from the books I only write proper essays when forced#if anyone has evidence that Austen thought a sexually experienced husband was better/men needed sex/it's a crucial education for men/etc#PLEASE send it my way I'm so curious about this topic now#this is by no means an 'I trawled through every piece of evidence' post just stuff I know from studying the era and Austen and her work#so more info/evidence is always appreciated#I had sort of assumed the answer was 'not a virgin' when I first considered this months ago btw but the more I thought about it#the less I was able to find out when/where/who he would've slept with without running into some authorial/textual complication#so suddenly 'maybe a virgin' becomes increasingly likely#But the same logic would surely apply to ALL Austen's heroes... and Knightley is 38 which feels unrealistic#(though Emma doesn't have as much commentary on sex and was written when Austen was older so maybe she wasn't so idealistic about men then)#but authors do write unrealistic elements and it's entirely possible that *this* was something Austen thought a perfect guy would(n't) do#and if you've read my finances breakdowns you know I follow the text and authorial voice over real-world logic because it IS still fiction#no matter how deftly Austen set it in the real world and made realistic characters#pride and prejudice#jane austen#fitzwilliam darcy#mr darcy#discourse#asks#fic:t3w#I'm going to need a tag for 'beneath the surface' but 'bts' is already a pretty popular abbreviation haha#just 'fic: beneath' maybe?? idk
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Hey quick question,
What do you think is an acceptable amount of asks to post in a day?
They've become my primary way of delivering you art ramblings and oc lore and such, but I'm constantly worried I'm flooding people's dashboards with them.
#be honest#tumblr's communicating systems are sort of clunky#you either talk to someone privately in dms or post it publicly for everyone to see via asks#if you've sent me a comment and I haven't replied I'm sorry#I simply don't have the time/energy to get back to every one#but I read them all and appreciate them#I'm slow to put my thoughts into words so sometimes I also go way back and dig up really old ones that I've been thinking of#from months ago even
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In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:
Holy shit itās been another year????? The hell?????
Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and ā as you said ā experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art Iām looking forward to it.
As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older artā it doesnāt need to be new to be enjoyable! Iām glad your art is well loved and itās a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!
You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3
Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!
Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).
The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:
Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!
#art summary#ask#The privilege is honestly mine; to be able to create comics and have had people rooting me on since the beginning really means a lot.#To everyone who the potential I couldn't and continues to stick around: Thank you so very much.#I cannot emphasize enough that I do see you. I do notice those who regularly like/reblog/comment.#I notice when people who haven't been around come back and mass like/reblog posts.#There are some people who have only *ever* liked my posts or have only ever lurked! I notice! I am so thankful!#At the risk of also sounding cheesy; I'm honestly happy to give back whatever I can to my audience.#Knowing I have brought people a little bit of joy to their day with my silly comics makes every long night worth it.#I probably make a longer post about it in the future; but last year when I made my first comic redraw-#-was the same day I got the news that someone very beloved to me passed away. I was in such deep grief I couldn't respond to comments.#But I still read them and I mean this earnestly; even though I was smiling through tears -#everyone's kind words truly helped make a pretty dark month a lot brighter. I probably would have crumbled without the support.#What really gets me is this: it was never directed at trying to cheer me up. It was just earnest kindness towards a stranger making comics.#If you've ever wondered 'hey does PD-MDZS know how much I appreciate their silly comics?'#know I have also sat here and thought 'Hey does this person know how much I appreciate seeing them in my notifications?'#Which also includes you! Mina BNHA you will always be associated with the cool person who's been rooting for me B*)#I wish everyone a wonderful new year; may all our creative endeavors be something we see as an exciting discovery.
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I have been having... a very bad day. Any spare fluffy headcanons for the boys? (and maybe some nsfw ones if you're up to it-)
ohh no my dear helena !!! its unfortunate that youāre having a rough day today :( remember that everything is temporary and that this day, like every other hard day before (and all following after), will pass in its own time.
i can absolutely spare some fluff ! thatās all iāve got !
ā¢ javier goes to bed at about the same time that kieran is waking up every morning, right before dawn, and itās a common occurrence that he will forget to untie his hair before laying down for bed, especially after a long night of guard duty. kieran will notice every time, and knows himself how easily long hair can get matted, so he will beckon javier over so that he can untie his bow. usually, heāll also take the time to run his fingers through javierās hair to detangle it as well, so that heās even less likely to wake up to knots. javier adores it, teetering with the weight of his head and leaning hard into kieranās legs on each side of his shoulders- sometimes kieran will even indulge himself in giving javier a head massage. javier never sleeps better, and coincidentally, he began forgetting to take his hair down a lot more after moving out to clemenās point ā¦.
ā¢ javier snuck kieran his first bowl of pearsonās stew after āmaking a social callā. john kicked kieran off his horse at the entrance of camp and javier watched as the latter dredged himself through the brush to what would become his usual resting place behind the rock by the horses. he looked miserable, dead on his feet, and javier knew by then heād been weeks without a meal. he was a dirty, disloyal, unholy traitor of an oādriscoll, but something about his sunken eyes, the shake in his hand as he lit his first cigarette as a free man again- likely to quell off the hunger- it urged javier to act in a way that heād never felt before. javier could kill a man in cold blood easier than he could stand to watch fear starve a man even after his hands are free to reach for the bowl. the study for learned helplessness in psychology will come years later, but javier understands himself now through watching kieranās instinctual desire to survive be beat out of him by the gang javier dedicates his life to. with a healthy amount of spite to himself, he scoops a heaping amount of fresh stew into the cleanest bowl he can find, and sets out to add a fresh layer of flesh to kieranās prominent bones.
ā¢ following this, cooking for kieran is one of javierās favourite things to do when they get together. javier will cook for him traditional mexican dishes from home (as best he can. both with his limited skills and also with his limited accessibility to the proper ingredients. (probably for the best that he canāt get authentic chili peppers from home and has to use a less spicy chili native to this northern climate. kieran does okay with spice but it isnāt in his genetics to truly have a high tolerance.)) and not only will it be an unknown love language from javier, to feed kieran and make sure he is full, but it will also be a love language from kieran, to let javi share a piece of home with him.
ā¢ ^ also applies to modern au javieran ! javier loves cooking, and especially for kieran. they would cook together, but kieran struggles to cook with other people in the room, and javier gets so absorbed in it that heād likely be running into kieran or otherwise being unhelpful in aiding in making sure the dish is being cooked correctly because heās too Locked In to guide kieran LOL but theyāre more happy to simply keep each other company, anyway. kieran on the counter/table/floor, watching javier sing and dance to the music heās blasting from their speaker. cue dancing in the kitchen when the love songs come on (hereās a good one (rip javier escuella you would have loved dannylux)). the parallel play and quality time with these two is off the charts
ā¢ come mid/late clemens point, the way javieran make most of their money for the camp is by going on days-long fishing dates, laughing and laying close to one another in the grass under a tree on the riverbank in the shroud of darkness. they come back to camp flushed as all get out but with stacks of cash in their hands wadded up so thick no one dares to ask where it came from. kieran will get excited at even the smallest of fish, perking up and sharing/asking javier for tidbits on the species. they never miss a bite, either. one time one of the bells on their bobber rods rang once and they both broke out of a very hot and heavy make-out sesh so fast that javier tripped on kieran and nearly broke both of their wrists. they laughed so hard about it, javier was certain that by the time he arrived to his rod, the fish had already successfully ripped the bait off of his hook. he reeled in a boot, at the end of it all. he never lives it down.
ā¢ kieran is ambidextrous, and javier is fascinated by it. javier stumbled upon kieran writing on one rare occasion, and noticed immediately that he was writing with his left. āleft handed, huh ?ā kieran cocks his head at him in thought. javier wonders why on earth he would have to stop and think about a question like that. āuhh, not really ?ā well, now javier is simply confused. āright, then ? is something wrong with your dominant hand ?ā āum ā¦ no, thatās not it either ā¦ā and at this point, javier is demanding kieran explain what the hell heās talking about, and why heās pulling a prank on him. cue kieran explaining and javier making him do all kinds of silly ātestsā like writing, shooting, playing guitar (as if kieran is going to any better with either when neither of them can do it right to begin with) because he finds it so cool.
ā¢ modern au kieran gets overstimulated incredibly easily, so heās got a pair of noise canceling over-ear headphones that he often wears to dampen sensory input and ground himself when thereās a lot going on. when itās cleaning day, generally no matter what heās doing, he HAS to wear his headphones. javier is left to dodge him the same way he has to dodge the cats when theyāre weaving in and out of between his feet. it also leaves him to dance to his own tunes when kieran suddenly swoops or sways or dips him to the music only he can hear- though just as often, javier will catch kieran dancing by himself and he will simply be unable not to join him, even though he canāt hear what it is heās dancing to. as overwhelming as they can be, cleaning days for javieran somehow always end up feeling more like a date than anything.
ā¢ on a similar note, kieran also wears his headphones to bed, and listens to asmr/white noise to sleep. the pressure helps him feel safe, and the silence of a room makes him anxious. he also has a terrible bedhead and rbf in the morning. both of these things javier finds incredibly charming, and if he ever does wake up when/before kieran does (incredibly rare), this is his pov (right before he tries to kiss kieranās face off and gets shoved away with a sleepy giggle that only bolsters his aggression);

nsfw under the cut !
and how could i resist a chance to finally talk about this ;3ā¬ ?? iāll try to keep them fluffy !
(context, i hc both of them as tguys usually (though im content with writing javier as amab too), with both of them being absolute, unabashed switches. they have little preferences anywhere in terms of bottoming/topping, though kieran has a preference for subbing, and javier has no qualms with domming more frequently.)
ā¢ as much raunchy, animalistic sex that javieran have, they have double as much slow, loving, tender sex. and most times between, theyāre having raunchy, loving, animalistic sex.
ā¢ javi loves to turn kieranās brain off, he loves more than anything to make kieran feel so overwhelmingly pleasured that he forgets everything that ever has, ever could, or ever will happen to him. nothing gets javier off quite like seeing the face of bliss kieran makes when all he can think about is javierās mouth/hands/cock working overtime just to make him feel good.
ā¢ both of them i think are quite vocal when theyāre able to be, and kieran tends to be vocal whether heās supposed to be or not. both of them often dissolve into whimpers and āi love youās and praise like āyou feel/sound/taste so goodā by the end. their love for each other has a carnal grasp on every aspect of their sex lives as well <3 so theyāre always speaking so sweetly to each other, even if the way they growl it seems violent
ā¢ javier LOVES love bites. he loves to mark kieran up and he especially loves to bite and lick and suck on his neck, not only because of the primal aspect of his jugular being so close (as well as the warmth of his pulse thrumming against his mouth), but also because it arouses kieran to the point of making him shiver nearly every time. javier has permission to bite him hard, but itās pretty rare that he ever does, and itās only late into their relationship does javier feel like it will be more pleasure for him than it would just be pain. sometimes he canāt help it though, heāll get so worked up that he just latches on and the way that kieran tightens around him is mind-numbing.
ā¢ unironically i think kieran is a GREAT soft dom, and that is something that javier generally had never experienced prior to getting with kieran. javi thinks itās hot to be man-handled and roughed up, and kieran can do his very best (despite the constant guilt and fear) if javier is really feeling it, but where he really excels is soft domming. once the nerves melt off, heās so gentle with javier that it makes the latterās skin hot all over. constantly praising him, cooing at him, asking him nicely, rewarding him for good behavior, all the while touching him oh-so-gently, it all makes javier feel so awkward but so, so good. kieran makes him feel so loved and worshipped that the world in which he has anything to question simply just fades away, and all he has to think about is doing what meager tasks kieran asks of him.
ā¢ they find so much peace in each otherās bodies. in every rib and wrinkle and sunspot, these two will spend hours simply exploring and enjoying the body of the other in whatever the closest form of āprivacyā they can manage to acquire. turns out, kieran has sunspots all over him. turns out, javier has a keloid scar on the back of his bicep. turns out, kieran has a mole on his scalp right where his part is (this is canon btw i saw it once when i was studying him in photo mode like a specimen in a petri dish), and javier has back dimples, and kieranās ribs stutter and dance beautifully when he laughs, and the flex of javierās thighs warps his skin like a marble statue. javier escuella and kieran duffy love like artists, and they spend hours just learning and looking and studying each other, like a painter with his muse, like a writer with his words, like the last things they want to see while theyāre dying are all the hours they spent learning the beauty of the other.
i could honestly come up with more but it would never leave my drafts, so i hope u like these that i came up with as quick as i could :ā) ! i hope youāre feeling better and have gotten some good rest !! thank you for the ask !!!!!
#thank you for always coming to chat with me :ā) especially on a hard day. i hope you know you are appreciated no matter how you feel and#that you do good things for peopleās lives every day. even if you donāt know it or notice or if they donāt tell you. your existence inherent#ly makes the world a better place#and i can say that with confidence because you do it for me every time you come to say hello or share my love for javieran :ā) i do hope#youāre feeling much better today ! i apologize for this post taking so long. i struggle a lot with coming up with things without prompt and#i also had a friend over so it took me a little while to come up with anything i thought was worth reading about !#i love them :ā) thank you for giving me the chance to talk about them a bit ! i need to actually write them soon ā¦ā¦.. they are so special to#me waugh#i usually have lots to say in the tags but i truly used the entirety of my last braincell for this so thatās all iāve got for now </3#i love you ! be well ! make sure youāre eating and drinking lots of water !!!#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#text#art#kinda i guess#hero draws sometimes#hero more like shakespeare#heroās javier#heroās kieran#heroās javieran#ask#hero's yelling at folks again#galacta-phantasma#i think thatās it. lord. now iām going to run on the treadmill for 10 hours ! bye !
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Do you enjoy underfell? I thought you disliked aus /genq
i don't dislike the concept of AUs itself, I'm just not a fan of like... the subculture that spawned around them in the UT fandom specifically and how it eventually took over almost all canon content (especially when it limits itself to the bros)
i like aus visually! i am an artist at heart after all. it's just that, if I'm going to care about them as stories and not just fun design ideas, my bar is uhh almost impossibly high the further you move from canon lolol.
#uf being one of those! the story is centered on certain characters (mainly asgore) behaving very ooc#so as a stickler for canon I don't have much interest in it#but there is a very clear visual idea and motif in the redesigns that ties every character together very efficiently#and also fucks like a rabid rhino#so i can appreciate its visual/aesthetic aspects instead#i mean you can't understate the impact that good *artists* specifically had on the proliferation of aus back in the day#good writing is almost inseverable from good characterization because dialogues and characterization ARE an integral part#of what makes writing good. while good art (as much as it too is tied to its own conventions) is free-er from the bounds of accuracy#as was as being easier & faster to consume. writing has to be read first. you can just look at a piece of art and go ''wow that looks sick''#without thinking about logical details/accuracy#you can show a pic of sans to an artist who's never touched the game and they might draw you the most gorgeous piece of art you've ever seen#it's significantly harder to do for writing#swap aus are a fun design challenge to see how you'd incorporate different aspects of some characters visual signatures into another#it's a game of translation of sorts. but if you want to treat it like a story well... the matter becomes a lot more complicated#answered asks#au tag
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just wanna say, fully unironically, your art is some of my favorite. your username keeps popping in my head, it's just really kinda fun to say and spin around in my brain. your art is kinda like... god, nebulaic, sometimes. like your colors are like photos of nebulae in the darkness of space.
thank you for sharing your creations. i always like seeing notifications from you ^_^ š
Thank you!!!! Iām glad you enjoy my work, it means a lot š„¹

#I just want everyone that sends me nice messages in my inbox that I do read every one#and I really appreciate them and love them a lot#I just straight up donāt know how to respond to compliments š please know I love them I really do ahhhhh#ask#to know**. forgot that word in the first tag. sorry.
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people on twt are mean and irrational. Iām so grateful you all aim to be kind and supportive.
#and Iāll say it again#thank you for your warm and supportive rbs tags and asks#ppl make me feel like shit over there so itās nice to feel appreciated here#I know I know I need to stop posting there for fandom#itās thankless and the platform is evil#if I get enough loving on my fanworks here Iāll finally sever ties there for good#anyway#I deeply value every interaction here#I may not respond to everything bc ADHD#but I read it all#and cherish the asks#and the tags have made my days when I really needed a lift#š«¶
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so if i go to sleep now and wake up in like 8 hours is there a reasonable chance for me to wake up to the new tough and sweet chapter? (itās five am where i live and iām debating pulling an all-nighter just so my sleep schedule isnāt fucked but the time will pass faster) anyways not pressure or nothing iām very excited for the new chapter!
this is the cutest ask i weep omg <33 I WISH I COULD SAY YES but i fear it will be laterrr </3 it's 9pm for me rn and i'm trying to have a Normal Person sleep schedule for some things i have coming up this month but i still need to do one more read thru, write author's notes etc, and have my lovely beta reader (who is in a v diff timezone than me LOL) read it over :')) but i'm manifesting a fixed sleep schedule for you too, thank you for the excitement it's so very motivating šš
#also i have so many tas related things in my inbox rn and i'm SO behind but please know i've been smiling so so hard at all of them#it's like a shot of espresso every time i read them i appreciate them so much and i'm gonna try to reply after i post ch5#i've literally just been waking up. going for mental health walk. sitting down at desk and writing non stop until bed lmaoo#(i have 90+ asks in my inbox in general but yk. that's on me my mental has just not been up for much other than writing lately sorryyy <3)#johnslittlespoon asks
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I have greatly enjoyed your comics ever since i saw them and have been quietly Iurking as ya do- thought youd want to know that i played hollow knight based on how enthusiastic u were and how fuckin cool youre art of hk/mdzs is. OH and watched dungeon meshi. Your influence is vast and i have been enriched. Keep on keepin on š«”
You have bestowed the highest honour upon me.
#ask#non mdzs#Thank you for letting me know you ended up checking these series out - it really is an honour.#Even more that you ended up enjoying these series!#The highest of honours you can bestow on anyone - especially to someone making art! I feel so powerful right now!#Hollow Knight is such a darling gem of design and worldbuilding. Good itch on the brain. I loved drawing the crossovers.#Dungeon Meshi has me in a death grip. I grow 10cm taller every time someone new starts reading.#Catch me slowly spreading seeds about other indie titles as I go about my art journey on this blog.#I am doing it for my own enrichment mostly but I always am thrilled to pass along a good recommendation B*)#I really do appreciate you coming out of the dark to interact - I used to be a chronic lurker so I very much understand how it is.#Keep on keeping on as well! May you have an excellent week!
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Effect: Fuck around
Affect: find out
This is actually so useful thank you. Screenshotting because I just know this precious knowledge is going to disappear within the next twenty minutes
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so I work two jobs, at an auto parts store and a cafe and I've noticed that people at the parts place think im a dude and the cafe customers assume im a girl its so interesting to see
#i had someone at the car place refer to me saying 'he- she- uhh sorry idk what to call you'#im pretty sure i just said 'pick one' which must have confused her so bad š#i appreciate you pronouns lady#also something interesting im seeing is that people respect me more at the parts store when they think im a guy#also its fun when people call me buddy hehe idk if thats just an appalachia thing but its like#what older people say to younger people#idk how old i look to people who think im a guy lmao but i guess they think im a teenager#i do have teenager voice syndrome right now unfortunately š#omg its so funny (uh and a little scary) when customers refer to me as 'he' to my coworkers and theyre confused š
#theyre all rural conservatives so im a little spooked at whats gonna happen when i come back to work after being away for 3 months#cause hopefully ill be more clearly masculine#they havent asked me about it and im not telling them lmao#im the only 'girl' there right now š oops#actually customers call me 'the female' š LOL#i stay silly tho#i look forward to every tuesday bc thats when i give myself my T shot :)#i have to go get bloodwork done soon oh no#for my hormone levels#if u read this far ily its nice to know youre interested in my rambling#i reduced my dose of anxiety/depression/general mood stabilizer med and i regret it so hard rn ive been SO anxious#pray for me#ok life story over bye#have a nice day#drink some water#mine
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also since I might be busy in the coming days. still working on another viktor fic, I'll try to finish it next week. I'll try to get to my asks too but sorry if I can't answer many!!! I've literally never had this many asks in my inbox before!!!!!!!!
#but I love you and appreciate you and thank you for all the love <3#I read every ask!! I truly appreciate your kind words#it's just a lot to reply to at the moment haha#and most of the time if I'm not able to be on tumblr#it's because I'm working on a fic lol
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slightly related but unrelated I'm kinda tempted to put together a Paris Lore doc- because there's over 4,000 posts, a years worth of writing, generally just a lot to catch up on if you weren't here from the start lmao
#battle-subway-ghost#yes i've been carefully weaving all the details in from the very beginning. something wrong with me#I appreciate it infinitely when people take the time to read through it all (Phyto hiii phyto I think about this almost every day) but like#That Is Unreasonable To Ask Of Anyone and I wouldn't even suggest it KJRHSDRJH
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