#softcitrus rambles

[softcitrus2345]

Heeeeeeeeyyyyy ;;w;;

So I've been kind of MIA since.. early november, wow. It's been a LONG time lol-

I really missed posting here and interacting with you guys, but I honestly think I did the right thing. Soon after I began my hiatus, I got moved to full time hours at work (retail during the holidays is a NIGHTMARE.) and it basically became my entire life. I had no time in the day to do anything besides sleep, eat, work, and then maybe if I'm lucky, I'd spend an hour with my family before they all had to go to bed for school/work the next day. It was a really hard time for me mentally and I had zero time for anything besides keeping up with my basic needs and just. existing honestly.

For about a week now, I've been back to part time hours at work, and I feel like I've finally been able to breathe again. I actually have time in my day to be productive and dedicate some time to my hobbies again.. I missed drawing so much, I missed talking to my friends and mutuals and I missed the cozy little community I've built here with you all.. I've been wanting to post this for a few days but couldn't really figure out what to say, so I'm finally just gonna word vomit here for a bit

Even if I hadn't been able to create much the past couple months, I kept my little noggin full of ideas just bouncing around in there and I've been deep in the trenches of an Arcane hyperfixation since season 2 came out LOL It's kind of embarrassing but it's what's kept me sane these past few months, being able to just focus on a thing I like and analyze it and see all the cool stuff other artists and editors have done with it has been really refreshing and allowed me to develop a little creative backlog in my brain of things I want to make :3 I've never really been into drawing fanart but that changed FAST after I was exposed to the Horrors (Jayvik) and got the ultra mega hyper gay brainrot. Those two bastards are living in my head and REFUSE TO PAY RENT so yall are just gonna see me posting Jayvik slop for a while, and I am NOT SORRY HAHA THIS IS MY BLOG, I DO AS I PLEASE-

Also I'm gonna try to be less shy about other (COUGHBERRY) kinks I've been wanting to post here too, so erm. If you're not a fan of that jazz just mind ya business (respectfully)

Damien, Vanessa, Matt, and the rest of the gang will be back, I promise, I just wanna have some fun with my silly Hextech founders ok-

Happy 2025 everyone! More to come soon :3

[softcitrus2345]

I've finally started feeling the motivation to draw, so hopefully I can get back to my commission queue soon, and then to replying to all the great asks yall have sent in over the past.... months 😬😅

I'm still kind of in a weird mental place but I've been trying to keep myself busy with other things, plus working retail 5 days a week tends to keep your mind and body pretty occupied so there's that too-

I've seen all the asks and replies you guys have sent me, and I haven't forgotten about the few of you still dming me about commissions, I promise I'll get back to you all, as soon as I can

Thank you to everyone who has continued supporting and sharing my art even during this month when I've been practically radio silent

I'm sad I couldn't celebrate pride month with you all, but hopefully I can eventually make some kinda post for pride, I really have been wanting to ;;w;;

I'm still healing but this blog makes me happy so I'm gonna try to get back into the groove.. yall are the best for sticking around and for all your sweet comments and condolences, it really does mean a lot to me, even if I can't always find the right words to respond with

I'm gonna head to bed for now but I'm relieved I'm feeling motivated to create again, even though I'm still grieving

My wounds are still pretty fresh but I'm trying to give myself grace, grief isn't something you just "get over", especially not this quickly, baby steps, baby steps..

Anyway, this is a kink blog, but I wanted to at least share this, if nothing else. I'll try not to bum yall out too much in the future, no promises though /hj

Take care, everyone, and I wish you all a very happy pride month TTuTT

[softcitrus2345]

Currently working on making a youtube account to stream some art whenever I'm working on it, I thought it would be a fun way to interact with yall while I'm actually drawing Lord help me I have no idea what I'm doing XDDD

[softcitrus2345]

Alright yall, it's PURGE TIME

I'm gonna be blocking anyone who doesn't have their age in their bio or a pinned post cause it's LONG overdue-

[softcitrus2345]

Rereading all the asks I have in my askbox and smiling, yall are all so sweet, I seriously can't wait to answer them all, I think about the stuff you guys send all the time ;;w;;

To everyone who sent me an ask and still hasn't gotten a response, thank you so much, I promise I'll get to ya eventually TTwTT 💖💖💖

[softcitrus2345]

thinking about maybe kinda sorta sharing some blueberry-related stuff that I've drawn/written involving Barley and Ambrose....... I know most of yall aren't really here for that so idk if I'll go through with it but I've had it sitting around so I figured I could share it but we'll see.. maybe

[softcitrus2345]

Hey three questions?

Are requests open besides commissions?

Do you have any female ocs?

Will requests solely be for your ocs?

Three answers!

1. Unfortunately no, I don't have requests open. I can't afford to do art for others for free, and now that I just got my first job I'm gonna be a lot busier than I used to be, so finding the time/motivation to draw is gonna be harder for me to navigate

Also I feel like it defeats the purpose of me having commissions open while also making art catered for others for free, I gotta make money somewhere yknow

And from what I've seen in this community a lot of the requests artists get are for one-off prompts or characters, which just isn't my cup of tea. I can't get invested in a character or a drawing that is just like a one-time thing, if that makes sense?

I don't want that to snowball with me getting flooded with requests from people for random prompts they wanna see drawn out

I hope that makes sense, and please don't see this as me being upset at the question, I just like to be thorough with my answers and explain why /gen

2. I do! Unfortunately not a whole lot that I draw, my main female oc is Vanessa, and I just love her to bits. Her and Damien are stuck like glue so most of my drawings of her also include her lovely hubby~

If you're wondering about me drawing female weight gain, I'm just not really into that, for a number of reasons, but the main one being my feelings towards the female weight gain community, and how it treats women mostly just as an object for pleasure. As an afab person, it just makes me really uncomfortable how I see women portrayed in the feedism community, since from what I can tell most of the people that create/seek out that kind of content are cishet men just looking to get off.

I know that's not the entire female wg community but it's unfortunately the majority of what I've encountered, and it's just turned me off from the subject completely. There are *very* few times I'll see female weight gain portrayed in a way I can appreciate, and those few are like little gold nuggets that I gotta find by sifting through all the shitty stuff, it's just not worth it for me

It just feels dehumanizing, idk

As a fat person who has always been fat, and who is (unfortunately) still perceived by the general public as female, I've seen first hand the way society treats people like me, the backhanded comments and fatshaming and diet culture, and the horrible things I've been called before.. I see it all too often in the female feedism community, it's just a big no no for me overall

Sorry, I kinda went off on a tangent there, hope I didn't derail this post too much-

3. If I were to ever open up requests, I would say yes, they would only involve my ocs. I use this blog sort of as a public sandbox, where I can just kinda play around with my ocs and share my art with you all. I want the focus to be on my ocs and my own original content, with the exception of my friends and mutuals ocs which I do enjoy drawing from time to time

TLDR, yes, if I hypothetically opened requests they would only be for my ocs, just to keep my blog clear of clutter and random prompts I'm not interested in. I don't want to add another layer of stress to my life with requests and stuff that I can't keep up with

Maybe someday TTwTT

But yeah! Thank you for your questions, anon, it's always nice to have a prompt like this so I can share my thoughts, however messy they may be TTwTT

[softcitrus2345]

do you ever think you'll make chat bots for your characters

Ehhhh, I'd say no, for a couple of reasons 1. I have no idea how to even start with that, I'm not tech savvy by any means XD

2. AI stinky, no. 3. I wouldn't feel comfortable making an AI chatbot of my characters.. they are all so important to me and mean the world to me, and I know them inside and out. I know how they would react to certain scenarios and how they talk and carry themselves, and what they would or wouldn't be into. The idea of someone just being able to interact with their character and mold them into something for their own scenarios and entertainment just kind of squicks me out.. Think about it like this.. would you rather spend time with one of your close friends, or would you want to spend time with something pretending to be your close friend? Idk if that makes any sense but yeah XDD I just don't want people misinterpreting my ocs and using them in that way, I don't wanna hand them off for other people to "play" with- like I don't want people shipping themselves with my ocs or whatever, or worse- They've all got pre-established relationships, and I wouldn't want people breaking the "canon" I've built with them all, yknow? I hope that made SOME sense at least, I appreciate the interest in my characters but that's just not something I personally am comfortable with TTwTT

[softcitrus2345]

It's so nice to see someone taking care of their health and taking a break when needed! More people need to make a habit out of that methinks

Well thank you!! I completely agree, I always hate seeing artists burn themselves out because they feel the need to force themselves to create and post all the time I know firsthand how shitty that can be for one's mental health, so I appreciate yall for sticking around while I get my bearings TTwTT

[softcitrus2345]

hey, I know I don't know you personally or anything just wanted to pop in and say I hope your doing okay 💙

Aw, thank you so much! That's really sweet 😭

I've been alright, mostly just busy and kinda stressed with all the commotion that goes on around the holidays, and until last week I hadn't really felt at ease since I had so many different things going on but now that I've finally gotten over that big hill, I can breathe a lot easier TTwTT I've really missed posting here, but I've been pretty drained socially and artistically these past few crazy months so I haven't been able to post much I'd rather wait until I've fully recovered and post things I can actually be satisfied with rather than just doing half-assed art or responses to my asks yknow? I can't wait to get back into it, I've had so many ideas and such little time to execute them, thank you all so much for your continued support throughout this lull in my posting, it truly makes my day when I get an ask or someone comments on my post or gushes in their tags when they reblog my content.. TTwTT My birthday is coming up on the 19th, that's THIS FRIDAY HOLY SHIT- It'll be the first and only time in my life that the day of my birthday matches with the age I'm turning, I just think that's neat :3 I might try to make some kinda birthday related post to share on the day of, we'll see XP Thank you all for sticking with me! I look forward to posting more often again!! :P 💖💖💖💖

[softcitrus2345]

Hello! This may sound a bit weird, but do you have any advice or recommendations on getting into this niche? I've kind of been watching from afar on several blogs, and I really want to try and test the waters! But I'm not really sure how to go about it, and I'm super scared that I'll end up just talking to a brick wall, having my mutuals find out, or have people ridicule me :')

Thank you for any and all help - I love your art!! Been hanging around for a while now and the progress you've made is so cool

- Clueless Anon

Oh I totally getcha! That's not a weird question at all! /gen /pos

Starting out with this kinda thing is really difficult, I know from experience. It took me months to hype myself up enough to even create this blog, let alone start posting on it, and I had (and still kinda do) those same fears you expressed, they're all very valid but hopefully what I share can help a bit with making your experience more manageable :3

The information I'll share here consists of opinions based on my personal experience posting on this blog, and getting into the belly kink community in general

I'll break it up into steps from what I sorta did when I started out so it makes a bit more sense.

STRUCTURE YOUR BLOG - Make an introduction post with general information about what to expect from your blog, and some other information about yourself if you want to. I like to include a few other things like some of my hard boundaries and leave it as a PINNED POST so that anyone who comes across your account will see this information

BLOCK YOUR MUTUALS - I have the same exact fear of being "found out" by people im close to or just know outside of this space, so once you set up the bare essentials on your blog, look for your mutuals accounts and block them. If you think a mutual of yours might have a blog but you're not sure, ask them! (Something I did was I asked my mutuals to send me their blogs so I could check them out when in reality it was so I could do this exact thing) Don't see blocking as something inherently malicious or bad, it's just a protective measure and a way to curate your experience on the internet in a way that is comfortable for you!

INTERACT WITH YOUR FELLOW ARTISTS! - I know it may not seem like something super important, but interacting with other artists is a very good way to establish yourself in the community, reblogging, tagging and replying to posts you like with nice comments have the potential for others to check out your blog or interact with you as well! I got lucky enough that I found similar communities outside of Tumblr beforehand, but it's still an effective way to get yourself out there and seen!

START POSTING! - Besides my intro post, my first post was something that I wanted to curate in a way that would encourage conversation. I shared several of my ocs that I planned on posting here and some basic information about them, and opened up asks! It's always gonna be a pretty slow start, but as long as you put the time into your work and are passionate about what you want to share, people will find your stuff! It's hard sometimes, especially when comparing yourself to others is such a common thing for people to deal with (including myself sometimes) but everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Starting out anywhere is difficult in itself, but with things like this that are more sensitive subjects for people, I completely understand your uncertainty and nervousness about sharing this kind of content online. But as long as you're not hurting anyone or sharing harmful content, I don't see why people should be so stinky about others just trying to explore different parts of themselves and their interests.. Kinks shouldn't inherently be seen as something to be ashamed of just because someone doesn't understand it. I've been lucky enough to have close friends in this community who have helped me become more comfortable with myself and with sharing my chonky art, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

I'm flattered you came to me for advice, I hope some of that can help you on your journey, and thank you for sticking around for so long, it means a lot to have your support ;;w;; 💖

I hope things go well for you! I'm cheering you on anon!!

[softcitrus2345]

Hi there!! Thank you to every one of you who has sent me an ask recently, it always makes my day to see new submissions in my ask box! I've been pretty busy with the holidays and other irl stuff so I haven't had much time to post here, but I promise I'll start responding to those soon! (Also, a little note, if I haven't gotten to your ask yet and it's been a while since you posted, it's probably 'cause I wanna draw something in response and I haven't had the time to do that yet. I always have so much fun responding to your questions, it just takes me a bit to get to them all TTwTT) Hope to post more here soon! Thank you all again for your support, even when I'm not actively posting anything, it means a lot :3

[softcitrus2345]

Who told you we weren't into it? At least I am!

why, my silly nervous little brain told me of course!

I just get shy posting stuff that I've never really talked about here before, and I assume yall are here for the stuff I've already posted and not other things so I just kinda avoid deviating from it so I don't end up just throwing something out there and not get any reception but I'm pretty sure that's just my anxiety talking heh- Reading all the replies on my last post was really reassuring and comforting knowing yall are so open and supportive of my silly little self indulgent art, I really do appreciate it ;;w;; I'm still getting used to sharing this kinda art and get kinda shy about it sometimes but I still wanna share! I'm so grateful for you guys, thank you to everyone who replied and to you, anon! It always helps to get some positive feedback and really makes my day ;;w;;

I'm gonna try to post some of those doodles and the other stuff soon!

[softcitrus2345]

Are there other characters of yours that you wouldn't like/can not see in this niche?

~ 📜

Yknow, I've never thought of that before, but now that you bring that up.... 🤔

Yeah.. I don't really know how to explain it though.. Any of the ocs I have that are parents of my main ocs, I don't want them involved in this niche at all. Like for example, Forrest's dad or Damien's mom or things like that (both characters I've never mentioned here and don't plan to for that exact reason) I just don't like getting outside family stuff involved in these scenarios.. it just feels weird to me 'Cause for me at least, I use this niche to explore my characters and their relationships with each other I don't have a great relationship with my parents involving my own body and weight so I have no interest in exploring the way a parent would react to their child gaining weight or vice versa. It's just an instant ick for me that I want absolutely no business with

I want to keep any kind of sibling-parent-child relationships out of this niche, it hits a little too close to home for me in an uncomfortable way.. The only other thing I can think of that I don't want to include in this niche are depictions of myself in a gaining scenario That involves meringue or any of my other sonas I might share here, I'm not interested in portraying myself in that light But yeah, hope that made sense, I appreciate the ask, Paper, it's nice to get an opportunity to figure out where my comfort zone is with this stuff TTwTT