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until it doesn't hurt
pairing: Bruce Banner/Reader
readerâs pronouns: they/them
the reader's race and gender are ambiguous; no physical descriptors are used.
summary: âI couldâve caused you irreversible harm,â Bruce says. Itâs almost a practiced recitation at this point, and you have to wonder if he truly believes thatâor if heâs just been conditioned by everyone around him to believe he is only capable of inflicting pain. âYou didnât,â you maintain, for what feels like the thousandth time. Bruce is so caught up in the hypotheticals that he refuses to see the success right in front of him: the fact that he didnât so much as lay a finger on you.
word count: 2.9k | ao3 version
warnings: canon-typical violence
Being an Avenger means you have to be ready for anything at all times. That spontaneity is difficult to adjust to at first, but as time passes, you grow used to it. You grow used to sleeping lightly; to stashing weapons just about anywhere you can keep them; to having few restful days and many restless ones. The moment your powers manifested, you knew you would be a hero: not because you wanted to be one, but because it would be your responsibility to protect those who needed protecting.Â
You werenât always an Avenger. At first, you were just a rogueâkind of a vigilante. But then the attack on New York happenedâLoki happenedâand everything flew out the window. Suddenly, you were out on the street in broad daylight, trying your best to keep the civilians safe. That was how you crashed into Iron Man of all people. You exchanged banter and insults, but when it came down to it, you protected him, and he protected you. And Tony is extremely persistentâit didnât take long for him to sink his claws into you and drag you back to the Avengers Tower.Â
From there, you gradually get to know the other Avengers. Steve and Clint are relatively friendly right off the bat. Natasha is a bit more difficultâyou have to earn her trust before she starts to open up to you. But eventually, somehow, you manage to bond with all of the other occupants of the Tower. At least, all of them except Bruce Banner.Â
Bruce is an interesting case. He almost immediately dismissed you when Tony first introduced you, instead deigning to focus on his experiments. You hadnât taken offense to Bruceâs reclusive behavior, nor had you taken the hint that he didnât want to get to know you. Instead, you had all but forced him to acknowledge you. This manifested in a multitude of ways: from going out of your way to talk to him to offering to help with his research. Bruce is extremely protective of his laboratory, but somehow he deemed you capable enough to serve as his laboratory assistant. You were more than content to hand him capsules and adjust minor things, while he did the brunt of the work. You took the gifted opportunities to attempt to get to know him better. At first, it was like speaking to a brick wall. But somewhere along the way, his cold and uncaring façade began to crack. You slowly worked your way up to meaningless small talkâand, later, casual conversation.
Truthfully, you really enjoy spending time with Bruce. But heâs rather unpredictableâsometimes heâll push you away, and other times heâll play along. You know that he has a lot of baggageâwhat with his childhood and his alter-ego. Youâve been trying to convince him that you care about himâthat youâre not going to abandon him or villainize himâbut he doesnât ever seem to believe you. He always conducts himself with some semblance of suspicion and doubt; it almost seems like heâs waiting for you to wake up to reality and run away screaming.
Still, progress is progressâno matter how slow. Youâre happy with how youâve slowly bonded with him, and you can only hope that thereâs more on the horizon for the both of you.Â
âŠYou never consider the possibility that something could happen to make things worseâto destroy your progress and send you right back to the start.Â
âWe need you for something.â
Youâre brutally torn from your reverie, forced to slowly come back to yourself. Youâre sitting in the living room, staring ahead at the blank wall. How long have you been sitting here? All you know is that itâs no longer light outside, and that Natasha is standing in front of you with a firm expression.Â
âI- what?â You stammer, still processing whatâs happening. âNat-â
âItâs important,â she says. You get to your feet before she can continue speaking. âTrust me.â You do trust her. Natasha isnât one for over-exaggeration or dramatics; when she says something is important, she means it. And the grave expression on her face is only worrying you more. You follow after her as she walks down the hall and towards the elevators. The two of you step into the space and she presses a button, before the elevator slowly rises.Â
In hindsight, perhaps you shouldâve been a bit more suspicious. Why would she be taking you to another floor in the Tower? Typically, when thereâs a new development or an imminent threat, youâll be directed to another locationâeither to combat the threat or to strategize. Furthermore, thereâs a strained silence in the air between Natasha and you. Natâs shoulders are drawn tight and sheâs staring ahead pointedly, as if avoiding your eyes.Â
The elevator dings and you breathe an internal sigh of relief, hoping to get rid of this needless tension. But before you can begin to take a step, youâre being roughly shoved out of the elevator and into the hallway. It takes you several moments to get your bearingsâat which point you recognize the telltale sounds of the doors behind you closing, and the elevator dropping back down to where you came. You stare at the closed doors in disbelief, before turning to look back down the hall. One of the recreational rooms is straight ahead, and you hear yelling.Â
Once youâre standing in the doorway, youâre able to place the inexplicable noises you were hearing. Bruce is in his Hulk form, green and raging as he throws anything within his grasp at the walls around him. Youâre willing to bet Natasha brought you here to do something about this. Why she thinks youâre the best person to calm Bruce down, youâre not sure.Â
âBruce,â you say slowly. Bruce promptly freezes, an exercise machine lifted over his head. He stares down at you; you stare up at him. Heâs momentarily distracted by you. âItâs okay.â Heâs silent. You hold your hands out at your sides in mock surrender. âIâm not here to hurt you,â you continue. âYouâre safe.â
Silence. You take a slow breath. The machine heâs holding over his head drops a fraction of an inch.Â
âItâs okay, Bruce.â You repeat, pushing as much conviction into your voice as you can. Your effort seems to work, as his eyebrows furrow. For a moment, thereâs nothing but silence as the two of you stare at each other. Then, his visage shifts and youâre suddenly looking at Bruce Bannerâdisheveled and exhausted.
âAre you alright-?â Youâre compelled to ask. The scientist is back in human form, wearing nothing but a tattered pair of pants; bruises and scratches litter his skin; and thereâs a distant expression on his face. He seems to snap out of his trance when he hears your voice.
âWhat the hell are you doing?â Bruce then spits. You immediately flinch at the unexpected anger. âSeriously, what the fuck are you doing here?â His gaze is flitting about the room quickly, before settling on you with fevered intensity. Youâve never seen Bruce look so irate before. Heâs a remarkably composed man (although you suspect he bottles up anger and rage and lets it out in bursts as the Hulk). Indeed, this kind of fury is typical for the Hulk, but exceedingly rare for Bruce.Â
âI didnât-â You choke out helplessly, glancing back at the hall and, by extension, the elevator. âThey-â Itâs inexplicably difficult for you to get the words out.Â
âThat was our doing.â A voice confesses from behind you. You turn around to find Nat and Tony standing behind you. The two of them approach and come to a stop at your side.Â
Bruceâs gaze locks on them with fiery focus. He brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His glasses are nowhere to be seenâhe mustâve dropped them somewhere as he transformed. âI expected better from both of you.â
âBruce-â Tony tries to say, an apologetic expression on his face.Â
âWhat on earth made you think that throwing them out as bait was a good idea?â Bruce interjects furiously, motioning towards you. âYou couldâve gotten them seriously injured!â He exclaims. Tony has the good grace to look embarrassed; Nat is staring ahead with a flat expression and her arms crossed over her chest.
âBruce, Iâm fine-â You try to say, quickly growing uncomfortable with the tension settling in the air.Â
âI couldâve harmed you,â Bruce is quick to assert. âEasily.â His voice is cold.Â
âBut you didnât,â you maintain. Heâs not giving himself enough credit. More troubling is the idea that he has faith in his own crueltyâthat he only sees himself as capable of harming someone. You donât know what else to say, donât know what could possibly be said to repair the evident years of damage done to this manâs psyche. The entire world has treated him as a weapon at best and an uncontrollable, irredeemable monster at worst.
âThat doesnât matter,â Bruce says with unshakeable certainty. He retreats from the room, leaving you to stare after him in confusion and shock. You turn to face Natasha and Tony, who are both staring at the doorway with complex looks.Â
You want to tell them off, but the words that leave your lips are far different than you intend them to be. âShould I go after him?â You ask instead. Bruce is the primary concern right nowâyou can chew Tony and Nat out later. Youâve known him for a bit now, and have grown to interpret his expressions fairly easily. Youâve seen Bruce express a lot of emotions⊠but the look on his face just now is completely foreign to you.Â
âProbably,â Tony admits.Â
âI donât think we should,â Natasha says, motioning towards Tony and herself. âHeâs mad at us. And⊠rightfully so.â She exchanges a glance with Tony, whose lips are pressed in a thin line. Itâs clear they didnât give enough thought to their whole plan.Â
âYouâll be fine, though,â Tony says with unfounded conviction. Nat places a hand on your shoulder and grips it reassuringly. You take a deep breath and come to a decision, walking down the hall and towards the elevator doors.Â
Moments later, youâre walking out of the lift and down the dim hallway leading to Bruceâs bedroom. Heâs entirely alone on this floor of the tower. You pause in front of his door for a few seconds, wondering if you should walk away. But you canât. Instead, you knock on the door four times. âBruce?â You ask. Despite the clear sturdiness of the door, heâs able to hear you.Â
âGo away.â Bruce responds. His voice is a little muffled, and you have to strain to hear him.Â
Youâre hurt for the briefest of moments. Then you shelve the feeling and resolve yourself to tackling it later. âIâm coming in,â you announce, placing your hand against the scanner at the edge of the doorway. The scanner flashes green and the door slides open, revealing Bruceâs bedroom. Youâve never been here before. Itâs modestly decorated, with mostly monotone shades. Nothing particularly strikes you, save for the giant desk in the corner of the room. Papers litter the entire surface of the desk, and a few are covered by Bruceâs arms.Â
The man doesnât look up as you approach. âI donât want to see you,â Bruce says. His back is turned and youâre unable to see his expression.Â
âI donât care,â you respond, taking a few steps into the space until youâre a short (yet seemingly insurmountable) distance from Bruce. Heâs sitting at his desk, rubbing his hands over his eyes roughly. It doesnât take long for you to remember your guilt. âBruce, I donât want you to torture yourself over this.â Maybe you shouldnât have interfered in the first place.Â
âI couldâve caused you irreversible harm,â Bruce says. Itâs almost a practiced recitation at this point, and you have to wonder if he truly believes thatâor if heâs just been conditioned by everyone around him to believe he is only capable of inflicting pain.Â
âYou didnât,â you maintain, for what feels like the thousandth time. Bruce is so caught up in the hypotheticals that he refuses to see the success right in front of him: the fact that he didnât so much as lay a finger on you.Â
âNo, I donât think you understand,â Bruce says with a shake of his head. He pushes himself out of his chair and gets to his feet, turning around to face you. Your eyes widen as you notice the torn expression on his face, the dark circles under his eyes, and the determination written in every line of his form. âMy eyes locked onto you and, for a split second, I envisioned harming you. Deliberately.â The confession clings to the air like a vice.Â
âBut you didnât act on that impulse,â you assert. âYou suppressed it.âÂ
âSo?â Bruce argues. âI still had the urge. You should be disgusted, afraid-âÂ
âIâm not afraid of you, Bruce,â you interrupt. The statement lingers heavily in the air between the two of you. For a long moment, thereâs nothing but the faint hum youâve grown to associate with the Tower itself. Â
âYou should be,â Bruce then mutters. And suddenly heâs standing in front of you, staring at you with a dark gaze. His fists are clenched at his sides and you see his skin flicker with shades of green, before it returns to normal. The man maneuvers you to the side and shoves you, until youâre hitting the wall behind you. Bruceâs hands move up to your shirt collar and he clenches at it, his fingers almost spasming as he tightens his grip. You just stare at him. âI could ruin you.â He murmurs, so quietly that you have to strain to hear it.Â
You want to argue with him so badly, but that strategy hasnât been working so far. For some reason, Bruce has convinced himself that he not only has the capacity to hurt you, but that he wants to. You know that canât be true, but how can you convince him? If he thinks he can ruin you⊠âThen do it,â you challenge him. He meets your eyes once more and you stare back unflinchingly, trying to convey how much you trust him.Â
If you thought the tension was suffocating before, itâs practically ripping the breath from your lungs now. Everything around you seems to fade into obscurity. All you can see is Bruce; all you can feel is Bruce. His fingers twitch and his grip falls from your collar. For an awful moment, you think heâs going to walk awayâturn his back on you as he has done so many times before. But he doesnât. Instead, he leans closer. If heâs trying to get you to back down, then it isnât working.Â
At first, you want to think that Bruce is testing you. But the way heâs regarding you right nowâwith glittering desire in his eyesâmakes you think otherwise. His hands move from the wall to your shoulders, back to the nape of your neck, until he gently tugs you forward. Itâs hardly a strong pull, and you understand the choice heâs giving you.Â
But, you think fondly, there was never much of a choice. From the moment you locked eyes with him, you knew he would dominate your thoughts. And indeed, he has. You think about the hard-won look of approval in his eyes when you make an astute observation; the way he almost frantically looks across the battlefield, his posture instantly relaxing once he sees you; the contradictions written all over his skin; the rare smiles you feel privileged to see.Â
You lean forward and press your lips to his. Bruce is quick to reciprocate, his hands lingering at the nape of your neck before slipping down to your waist. You lock your arms around his shoulders, practically trapping him in your embrace. But from the strength of his grip, you can ascertain that the gesture is more than welcome.Â
Later, when you break apart, Bruce has a disbelieving expression on his face. He looks slightly dazed, as if suspicious of the reality he now finds himself in. You grasp his wrist gently.Â
âYou canât get rid of me, Bruce,â You murmur insistently, â...no matter how hard you try.â
He stares at you for another long moment. âAnd I have tried,â Bruce admits through a dry huff. You want to be offended by the comment, but you know itâs true. Bruce is stupidly self-sacrificingâhe purposefully keeps his distance from people to protect them. But the reality of the situation is that people will come to harm regardless of his presence. âBut youâre too stubborn.â That statement is spoken with a significant amount of fondness, and his hand comes up to cradle your cheek. You bring your hand up to rest on top of his.Â
âIâll always be here, even when you donât want me to be.â You promise. And maybe that promise isnât yours to make, because one can never truly predict what will come next. But somehow, deep down, you know it to be true.Â
Bruce brings you close once more, an uncharacteristic note of boldness in the fluid movement. When you step back moments later, you find that he has a hint of a smile on his face. âI know,â Bruce says, the traces of apprehension on his face breaking and cracking to reveal a rare sight: unrestrained affection.
thanks for reading! <3
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friendly reminder that i don't give permission for my writing to be shared to other sites, stolen, copied, translated, or used in any way. thanks!
#defectivevillain#marvel#mcu#marvel x reader#mcu x reader#marvel x gn reader#gn reader#transmasc reader#Bruce Banner x reader#Bruce Banner x gn reader#yall get the idea#wanna cover all the bases
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Do any of you remember Scott's games before FNAF?
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#vanessa afton#michael afton#chipper & sons#desolate hope#scottgames#scott cawthon#HAPPY day 4 of FNAF week!#I wanted to make a lil callback to the games that lead to FNAF being made#simply without chippers & sons weâd have no FNAF#SO I liked the idea chippers & co are considered old animtronics#stuffed away in some old warehouse#TBH seeing chippers appears in FNAF world this could be semi canon pff#Vanessa of course is a fan of them all#this comic is not as loaded with characters this time#but I still have a couple more big pieces in mind so keep eyes out for that#I ACTUALLY have a ton of ideas with everything thatâs come out so far đ#so soon more! Hope yall are enjoying fnaf week#tomorrow we get to see if fnaf gets in fortnite crazy day incoming
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ăăŸă«ăăăăăćșăŠăăèȘćăŻăăŁă±ăçäșșă ăăăçäșșăšăăć»ć°ăéĄă«æăăăäșă§ăăăă
#an attempt to get back into art#hi yall long time no see#dazai osamu#dazai#bungo stray dogs#bsd#illustration#life and lack of motivation's been kicking my ass a little#couldn't focus on drawing#had no ideas#but ig i'm slowly getting back into it so expect some more doodles in the next days
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fic idea: because of the circumstances around Clarkâs birth, heâs hardwired into a lot of Kryptonian instincts that have been dormant in the previous generations of Krypton. namely, those aligned toward the protection of children (bred out long ago because it was too âdistractingâ and âpainfulâ on Krypton, where fewer and fewer children were being born).
Superman always saves children first because of this, but he never fully recognizes the instinct until he watches Batman protect and calm down a child after a fight. Kryptonian instincts flare fully into life, as a mature adult with a prospective mate within the vicinity.
cue Clark following Bruce around starry-eyed, unable to help himself around a man with 8+ children he clearly, quietly, adores and a penchant for encountering injured and scared kids in his line of work. and as Bruce Wayne, who seems to have a kind of magnetism to him that leads kids at galas to him and sullen pre teens dragged along to cocktail hours to his side during networking.
#is this just a/b/o with extra steps? shhhhhh#batman#bruce wayne#dc#fic ideas#krypton#kryptonian#Kal-el#batfamily#clark kent#superman#look the man is crack cocaine to Clarkâs instincts#krypton wired those out but Clark wasnât a designer baby#heâs all of krypton concentrated into one imperfect perfect legacy#and that legacy#loves a single father working hard#superbat#treadmill thoughts#sorry yall I get bad ideas on the treadmill my brain gets too excited but I forget how to type or speak
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wlw codywan anyone?
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#i tried my best#i think the vibes are great#i have no idea whats going on though#theyre pretty#and in love#sickeningly in love#thats probably enough#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#codywan#star wars fanart#star wars#my art#digital art#fanart#genderbend#wlw codywan#please ignore any errors cuz my glasses broke a couple days ago and i cant see very well#i should honestly blur all my drawings until i get my glasses repaired so yall can see what i'm seeing#idk if i could capture the astigmatism though
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shinyduo designs for an au idea!! hoping to work on a little comic with them after finals are over :)
#i've had the script & idea for a while..... and it's a really COOL idea too i want to do it justice#shiny duo#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#trafficblr#secret life#gempearl#<hi gempearl enjoyers come get yall juice (art of the girls just standing there)#aurie's art#shapeshifter shinyduo au
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omg itÂżs him but human no way I love him
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#art#fanart#my art#original art#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatoon fanart#splatoon art#big man splatoon#splatoon big man#human au#au#shiver splatoon#splatoon shiver#the red thing he has on his right wrist is a reference to something common in brazil let's see who gets it#i have it#i love him so much yall have no idea#i predicted his fucking springfest theme guys it's bear he's a bear!!#im a genius
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introducing my new dca au: Food For Thought AU
Y/N is a journalist who recently got a hotel in salt lake city, utah to investigate some disappearances nearby; normally they wouldn't cover things like this (they aren't even sure it's legal), but utah seems to have a history of disappearances, and by god if they weren't curious. they know it's dangerous but these crimes have been unsolved for at least a few years (to their research), so they hang out near the location of the crimes: a nearby cafe.
Sun (and Moon, not pictured) are cafe staff at a nearby cafe to the hotel Y/N is staying at. sun does most of the customer interactions, and moon does more of the actual making of drinks and food. they seem to be aware of the murders at their cafe, but don't seem to know anything about them... but Y/N plans to keep asking, in case something comes up.
sun's new design and moon's design here!
#these designs are NOT finalized and will most likely change. i.e. im not happy with sun's design so he'll probably go through a few changes-#-before i officially start MAKING the au#ALSO I WOULD HAVE DRAWN MOON BUT BY THE TIME I GOT ANY IDEA FOR HIS DESIGN I WAS ALREADY ALMOST DONE WITH THIS#IM SO SORRY MOON FANS YALL WILL GET YOUR FOOD SOON#food for thought au#xandraws#fnaf#fnaf au#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#security breach#fnaf sun#sun fnaf#dca y/n#dca fandom#dca au#also that is NOT all the tags i could put on this but my brain is blanking rn
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Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto
Bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus leshnerr#snap scans#i dont scan ever please forgive me for. Everything jvAE:KJ i tried my best to match the purple as how it looks in person#i love the purple used for this whole comic .. its really nice#all the comics have different colors its neat yall should check it out if youre able. its a lovely silly collection#BUT GIRL PLEAAAASSSEE IM CRYING#as a part of my Visiting My Family For The Weekend trip my bro and i went to the store#and i told him about the wolverine cat comic and the whole collection and he found it while we were browsing ....#naturally i got it. because i love the idea of cats being heinous freaks ESPECIALLY to my faves#this all did happen because of a cat. btw. phoenix possessed one while scott and jean were baking a cake#which had everyone trying to catch it. leading to. this. jWLRAKJAWRLKJKJ#this is 1000% has 'we'll be back by 8PM please keep the house clean' vibes i'm sobbing LIKE WHERE ARE THEY RETURNING FROM#also can i just say ... i love it when american comic book characters get the manga treatment#idk i just love it ... i esp love how wolverine's drawn in these comics but. this aint about him#i just wanted to gush about my favorite old people LIKE PLEASE CHARLES IS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE I SEE IT#the fact they still got that goofy lil 'welcome back charles and erik' banner im going to be sick. theyre the whole mansions dads#anyway i have an assignment to do. because my prof hates me Who The Fuck Makes An Assignment due At 12:59AM#bye bye hpoefully ill be back with my own doodles ajvlekjla
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Sure Iwa đïž
#iwaoi#oiiwa#my art#haikyuu!!#iwaizumi hajime#oikawa tooru#my art is crappy#goofy iwaoi#help im running out of iwaoi ideas to draw lolol#handsome oik and also goofy oik#get a man who could do both#mb yall for low quality iwaoi#running our of ideas huhu i cant believe myself
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this broken design, ch16
pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Reader
summary: That familiar analytical gleam in your eyes lives in Hannibalâs mind as he sinks his teeth into his prey. Despite your departure hours ago, Hannibal sees you sitting across from him at the table. Dining alone has never bothered him; yet, right now, he canât help but desire your companyâyour scintillating conversation, your sharp wit, your clever smirk. Indeed, his table feels uncharacteristically empty. Hannibal stares at the chair across from himâthe same chair heâs grown accustomed to seeing you sit atâand takes another bite. Flavor explodes on his tongue, yet you are what dominates his thoughts.
Your experience in criminal profiling means that you've met a wide variety of people from all different walks of life. You've stared down hardened criminals and fought for your life against people hellbent on killing you. Even so, something about the FBI's new target, the Chesapeake Ripper, seems to elude you.
Then you meet Hannibal Lecter: an enigmatic jigsaw of a man with jagged corners and misshapen pieces.
Fortunately, you've always been rather good at puzzles.
read from the beginning here.
ao3 version | Spotify playlist
some of this chapter is born out of me realizing, as i read The Red Dragon, that i essentially limited Alanaâs presence in this fic to that one rather tumultuous interaction, instead of expanding on her potential as both a strong, intelligent side character and a friend to the reader. Hopefully this makes up for that a little bit. Alanaâs pretty cool. I sort of lost sight of that.
warnings: negative self talk, suicidal ideation/thoughts, panic attack, hyperventilation, derealization, canon-typical blood, violence, & gore
The darkness swirling around you is relentless in its writhing, distorting and jerking you around in its shadowed grasp. For a while, youâre content to let the shadows take control. You float in an endless abyss. Memories flit before your eyes, just long enough for you to reach out to try to grab them. They never stay long enough, flickering and disintegrating before you get the chance to grasp them and dissect every miniscule detail.Â
Stay awake, says a whisper itching at your skin.Â
You take a deep breath. The next time you blink, you find yourself standing in a far too familiar place. Hannibalâs kitchen is quietâeerily so, you think as your footsteps echo against the floors. There is hardly a sign of life on these countertops, hardly a stain or sprinkling of powder to assure you this place has ever been used. There is a single light boring down on the back of your head: a spotlight. You swallow hard and step to the side in an attempt to escape the light, only to find Hannibalâs rolodex sitting in the middle of the brightness. Your business card sits on top, displaying your name, phone number, email address, office location at headquarters, birthplace, height, weight, eye color, age, and any other demographic information you could possibly imagine. The font is tiny, yet you can read it with ease. Feeling a sudden urge to touch, you grab the business card and let it lie flat in your palm. Thereâs a tear in the corner, you realize. Frowning, you move to touch it, only for the tear to extend further down the flimsy material. Crimson dots appear on the white background, swirling and twisting until thereâs blood collecting on your fingertips. You look down, only to realize that the dark red stains have permeated the fabric of your shirt. Puddles are gathering at your feet, marking your footsteps with every movement you make. The card melts into the blood gathered in your hands, and youâre left holding the tattered remains of your identity.Â
Stay awake. Â
You blink again. Abel Gideon is peering at you from behind the bars of his interrogation cell. âYou have Lecter on a leash, donât you?â Gideon remarks with a laugh. You huff a laugh under your breath. The thought amuses you, for reasons you cannot quite discern at the moment. âA very long leash, but a leash nonetheless.â Your hands tremble at your sides and you restlessly shift your balance from one foot to the other. Gideonâs gaze is knowing and it pins you to the ground.Â
Stay alive. Â
A blink. Youâre standing in the doorway of your office at headquarters. Everything is as you left it, save for your chair, which has an inhabitant. Franklyn Froideveaux stares at you with empty eye sockets and a gaping maw. Blood slips down his gaunt frame, leaving murky red-brown streaks down his cheeks and around the cavity of his chest. You blink and his skin turns a murky yellowish green from decay.Â
âSee?â Garret Jacob Hobbs croons from over your shoulder. You can feel the smile on his face, feel his breath hitting your neck and provoking a deep nausea in your gut.Â
Another blink. Blood slips hotly down your fingers as you stand in a dimly lit hallway. Your skin feels lit with flames and the knife in your hand gleams a sickening crimson. You want to release the weapon from your grip, but your fingers are locked around the blade with unshakeable force. The smell of death and decay wafting through the enclosed space makes your stomach turn. None of these sensations are powerful enough to rip your attention away from the corpse at your feet.Â
âKilling must feel good to God, too,â Hannibal remarks with a hum, hands behind his back as he regards Abel Gideonâs form. There is a mildly intrigued expression on his face as he studies the body, before looking back to you with eerily crimson eyes. As he pivots, bloodstained antlers stretch from his perfectly coiffed hair. They disappear in a momentâa trick of the light. His voice is dark and airy all at once. âAnd are we not created in his image?â You swallow past the nausea building in your chest. Time stretches on with terrible slowness. His gaze is flaying you apart. âDonât you want God To want you?â He asks softly.1Â
âSee?â Stay awake. Stay alive. Â
Darkness, then light. âTo the Ripper, understanding is love,â Hannibal says, a flicker of a smile settling on his lips. His hands are folded and he leans forward. Your chairs are close enough to force you to knock knees with him, but Hannibal doesnât seem bothered by the prospect. âYou are the first person to see through his façade, through the layers of his mask.â His skin looks strangely patterned, as if it's made of ceramic. You reach out to grasp his face, to yank off his mask, only for Hannibal to catch your wrist and hold it in a tight grip. Suddenly, your chair is tipping backwards precariously, lurching further into the abyss. You try to reach out and grab onto something, but Hannibalâs hold is the only thing that keeps you tethered. The void crawls up your skin mockingly, waiting to drag you into its umbra. Your momentum is slipping backwards and youâre filled with an unsettling anticipation. Contrary to your expectations, Hannibalâs grip remains strong. You look at him. The Ripper looks back, a bloodstained smile on his lips. You feel his fingers trace the edges of your skin with a mocking gentleness, before youâre falling backward into the darkness again.
You slip out of the darkness and bolt up, only to find yourself in a painfully bright room. You canât quite stop the gasp that comes from your lips, nor can you suppress the urge to look around frantically, searching for the signs that this is a dream. The incessant pain in your abdomen is a harsh reality check. You look down at the area, only to find meticulously wrapped bandages covering your lower torso. Your upper forearm stings from the IV burrowing under your skin.Â
âHey,â a voice says. You squint in the bright light, waiting for the blurred figure in front of you to sharpen. Itâs a nurseâthe same one who helped you the last time you were wounded. She holds her hands out in a placating gesture. âItâs okay. Youâre okay. You were just dreaming.â Her eyebrows are furrowed in concern, a sentiment you feel you donât deserve.Â
You bite back your questionsâknowing the answers are clinging to the blinding white walls around you. The nurse asks you several questions about your symptoms and your pain level, before departing with the promise that she will return soon.Â
The events that transpired in Hannibalâs office cling to your skin with fervency. Your abdomen burns, especially when you remember that Hannibal inflicted the wound. You shouldnât feel betrayed. You shouldnât be afforded the privilege of being betrayed, not when you knew Hannibal Lecterâs nature since that night you sleepwalked out into the middle of the street.Â
Even so⊠you enjoyed being in Hannibalâs presence. You enjoyed the song and dance you had gotten so accustomed to playing. You spent so long spectating the game that you forgot your role in it. You were a pawn, and nothing more. The thought displeases you. With each passing second, the ugly feeling in your chest grows and swells within the confines of your rib cage. Itâs getting to be too much.Â
There is no one to sit at your bedside this time. When she returns, the nurse pointedly does not mention your husband. You donât have the heart to tell her that your âhusbandâ was the same person who stabbed you, or that your husband was never really your husband in the first place. She seems to understand anyway. Pity is hidden beneath the kind smile on her face. You stop making eye contact with her.Â
Lying in this hospital bed is a lonely existence, dominated by a constant state of pain (at worst) or mild discomfort (at best). The only interaction you get is from the nurse herself. You get the feeling sheâd be a good listener, but your tongue feels ironed to the roof of mouth and your conversations quickly morph into anecdotes about her life. Youâre grateful for the small kindnessâfor the prospect of being treated like a human being, despite it all. These small moments of humanity push you to keep going, even amidst the several voices crooning in your ears about your cruelty.
You donât expect any visitors. Indeed, your first visitor is entirely unexpected. When youâre first told that someone wishes to speak to you, you think of Beverly, Jack Crawford⊠hell, even Freddie Lounds. You certainly donât foresee Alana Bloom walking through the door, a gentle, reserved expression on her face. Seeing her brightens your day, and her presence reminds you that youâre not entirely alone. You welcome the thought.Â
âAlana,â you greet her, your voice rather raspy. You cough to clear your throat. âHow are you?â You ask.Â
âI should be asking you that,â she responds with a wry smile. She stands at the end of your bed, before walking to the side. Alana regards the lonely chair at your bedside, before placing her hands on the back. She looks wellâalbeit a little tired. âIâm good. And you?â
âIâve been better,â you decide to respond honestly. Thereâs no point in lying to Alanaâshe used to be your psychiatrist, your girlfriend. She would be able to see through your dishonesty anyway. Sure enough, Alana seems to appreciate your honesty, because her eyes momentarily widen before she moves to sit down. Seeing her sit in that chair makes your stomach turn. When you blink, you see Hannibal sitting thereâlithe frame effortlessly arranged, tupperware in hand. You rub your eyes roughly, dispelling the image to the recesses of your memory. Alana was courteous enough to visit youâthe least you can do is acknowledge her presence, instead of imagining her as someone else.Â
For a moment, you stare at Alana. A mundane sense of envy strikes you, but itâs fleeting. You donât deserve to be envious of her good health and safe wellbeing. Your own hubris is the reason why youâre currently confined to this cot. You look at her for a moment longer, before letting your eyes rest on the plain walls around you. You can feel Alana staring at you with concern. Instead of acknowledging that sentiment, you let the first question on your mind pass through your lips. âWhereâs Jack?â
Alana is silent for a few seconds. Is it a difficult question? You donât think so, yet Alana almost seems to falter. Eventually, she must manage to find the words. âBusy, as Iâm sure you can imagine,â she evidently settles for saying. Upon closer examination, her hands are clasped in her lapâwhitened knuckles betraying her otherwise tranquil image. Alanaâs next words are quiet yet firm. âHeâs tracking Hannibalâthe Chesapeake Ripper.â
You inhale slowly. Somehow, hearing her say that cements the reality of it all. Everyone knows Hannibal Lecter is the Chesapeake Ripper. Itâs not just you anymore. You bring up an arm slowly, before tilting your head down and pinching the bridge of your nose. Somehow, it is this statement that reminds you of the pounding sensation behind your eyes and the aching clustered around your temple.
âAre you alright?â Alana asks, lips twitching into a slight frown.Â
âYes,â you respond flatly. Your answer sounds devoid of emotion and purpose.Â
âAre you sure?â Alana persists. You donât have the heart to lie to her twice in a row.Â
â...No.â You acquiesce. You rub a hand over your face, feeling rather small in this hospital bed. The sheets are slightly scratchy and the weight of them feels constricting, rather than comforting. Youâve never felt so small.Â
âIâm sorry,â Alana sighs. She seems entirely sincere and it almost makes you want to scream. You donât deserve her sympathy. âI know you two were close. Let me know if thereâs anything I can do.â That statement is incredibly reassuring, despite the frenzy you had worked yourself into surrounding Alana. When you reflect on the events of the past months, you realize that you have few allies and even fewer true friends. One of those true friends is sitting right next to you.Â
âThank you,â you nod. Guilt stirs in your chest as you stare at your old psychiatrist and ex-girlfriend. Every time youâve seen her since she kissed you, youâve purposefully cut conversation short. Somehow, the thought feels silly to you now. Perhaps almost dying a second time does that to a person. You stare at Alana for a moment. She looks well put together, as always. âAlana?â
âYes?â She questions patiently. Thatâs another thing you envy about herâher unwavering compassion, her unflinching patience. You could stand to learn a few things from her, you think.Â
âIâm sorry,â you remark. The sentiment has been dancing on the tip of your tongue for the past several weeks, yet you never got the chance to verbalize it. Life has been a whirlwind lately. Youâve been so caught up in everything swirling around in your mind that you never paused to think about those around you, or how they were affected by the recent turn of events. âForâŠâ You break off, unable to articulate it. You settle for a vague hand gesture. Alana seems to understand anyways, as her eyes momentarily widen before comprehension passes over her face.Â
âDonât apologize,â Alana is quick to say, nothing but sincerity written in the lines of her shoulders. Her eyes look slightly glassy for the briefest of moments, before she shakes her head and looks at you once more. âIâm the one who should be apologizing. Iâm sorry for kissing you without warning.â
You nod in acknowledgement. Silence descends upon the brisk air, leaving the two of you to your thoughts. Youâre not content to let this overbearing tension rule over your conversation. You clench your fists slightly, filled with renewed resolve. You stare at Alana for a few seconds, until she notices your gaze and returns it. âFriends?â You ask, extending a hand towards her.
âFriends,â Alana responds with a smile, rising from her chair to meet your outstretched hand. Your handshake is short but reassuring. Itâs enough to convince you that there are no hard feelings between the two of you. Alana fills you in on some of whatâs happened since your admittance to the hospital; mostly, though, the two of you talk about the small things. You know Alana is trying to give you some semblance of normalcy. You appreciate the effort, you really do⊠but youâre not sure youâre capable of pretending everythingâs okay. Furthermore, the small things seem inconsequentialânow that youâre entrenched in the middle of everything. Even so, you make sure to thank her before she leaves. You donât know how you would have coped without seeing a familiar face. Alana smiles and promises to be back soon.Â
As you expect, Alana doesnât turn up the next day. You certainly donât expect her to stop by, since you know sheâs always rather busy. Ultimately, you come to the conclusion that you want nothing more than to be out of this hospital. Even worse⊠apparently, the stunt you pulled with Beverly during your past hospital visit did not go over well. Youâre firmly reminded to avoid any attempts at an early release. Youâre too tired and embarrassed to argue. You donât have anything better to do than rot in this hospital room, anyway. Besides, youâre certain youâll be met with some unpleasant reminders of Hannibal as you get home. You think you have a few cardigans in your closet that you meant to give back to him. The thought sends a bolt of nervous excitement through you, and you have to actively talk yourself down that precarious ledge.Â
Alana does visit the day after. Beverly turns up the day after that and gives you several hugs. After that, at least one of your friendsâAlana or Beverlyâ visits every day, which youâre extremely grateful for. Youâre certain youâd go absolutely stir crazy in this hospital bed if you didnât have anyone for company. Your conversations are typically fun and refreshing, like light breezes of summer air. Sometimes, though, youâre bogged down by your memories. Sometimes, youâre forced to remember the corpses you left in your wake.Â
Even with Alana and Beverly visiting, youâre given more than enough alone time to contemplate everything. You have ample time to pick apart Hannibalâs actions and discern his true motivations. So, when Jack Crawford finally visits, his shoulders drawn tight with stress, youâre prepared to recount that night to him. Jack is insistent on the fact that you donât have to speak about anything you donât want to, but you know the offer is more for pretense than anything else. He needs this information, needs to understand the Ripperâs past actions and how they govern his future. With that in mind, you wave off his concern and tell him about your late night meeting with Hannibal.
Jack is silent throughout, never once interrupting you or reacting in a manner other than an affirmative nod. Itâs very characteristic of your boss; you think that you would have been unsettled if he responded with heightened or dramatic emotions. Jackâs cool composure is an anchor that you quickly latch on to.Â
âHe wanted you alive,â Jack states, once youâre finished explaining everything. He says this with frightening assuredness. His utter conviction surprises you, prompting you to ask how he knows that.Â
Of course, you certainly considered that same possibility yourself, but it feels more real when you hear it from Jack. âThe stab wound wasnât fatal,â he points out. His gaze falls to the edge of your abdomen. The bandages feel extremely constricting. You wonder if they need to be changed soon. âIt easily couldâve been. The Ripper is a skilled killerâhe wouldnât have missed unless he wanted to.â You take a shuddering breath in.Â
âHeâs toying with us,â you manage to agree. Your hands fidget restlessly along the rough blanket thrown over your form. You feel restless once more.Â
âHeâs toying with you,â Jack supplies. There is no room for argument in his voice. He doesnât look restless, afraid, or frustrated. Not for the first time, you wish you had Jackâs control and constitution. However, you know Jack well enough to see the signs of tension in his clenched fist and drawn lips. âTaunting you, and the rest of us, by proxy.â That statement in particular sets everything in stone. Your theories are no longer just theoriesâthey are unobjectionable facts.Â
âJack.â you remark, trying to push the words past the dread settling on your tongue.Â
âYes?â Jack asks, patient and restless all at once. Youâre choking on the words. Itâs such a simple sentence, yet so dangerous of an admission. If you told the truthâconfided in Jack about how you suspected Hannibal the moment you met him, and grew to realize that he is the Ripperâyou would certainly lose your job, not to mention all of Jackâs trust.Â
Selfish, your victims croon. Your psyche nods in agreement. Itâs truly selfish of you not to provide Jack with your utmost honesty. Youâre doing a disservice to every person Hannibal has ever killed, every waking moment the team spent hunting for the Chesapeake Ripper. You wasted so much time, so much space.Â
âI-â You try to continue. I knew. I knew and I did nothing. I am complicit in his crimes. Tears are slipping down your cheeks. Youâre a rotten excuse for a human being. You donât deserve to be alive. Why hadnât Hannibal just finished the job? Itâs cruel, almost. He allowed his other victims the mercy of death, yet he left you alive. You will forever be scarredâboth by Hannibalâs knife and by the bone-deep knowledge that your silence made you an accomplice to his crimes.Â
Breathing is suddenly a far more arduous task. Your lungs burn and your throat feels as if itâs closing in on you. Your vision is extremely sharp and your shaking hands are drawn with harsh lines and even harsher edges. The world around you is suddenly rendered immensely inconsequential. The beeping of the machines at your bedside, Jackâs steady breaths, the traces of conversation slipping in from the hallway⊠It all fails in comparison to the chimes of the grandfather clock in your mind. You dig your fingernails into your skin, desperate for unspoken confirmation that you arenât dreaming.
At this point, youâre panting. Drool falls from the sides of your mouth and hits the scratchy blanket. Every nerve in your body feels as if itâs on fire. Youâre a puppet cut loose from the puppeteerâs careful hand, yet youâre still strung together with wooden bones and durable string. You bring your hand to your chest and try to breathe, but the more you try, the harsher and more rushed your attempts become. Â
âAgent.â Thereâs a hand on your shoulder. Itâs enough pressure to make you feel as if youâre melding with the thin mattress below you, sinking into the floor and the shadows. For a moment, you can see Hannibal looking down at you in your mindâs eye, a contentious expression on his face as he lets you fall to the darkness below. âBreathe.â Jack grabs your hand and brings it to the inside of his wrist. His pulse beats steadily beneath your fingertips and you latch onto the rhythm. Jack begins counting, prompting you to breathe in time with him. Youâre not sure how long it takes you to clear your airwaysâyou just know that, at some point, Jack migrated from where he stood at the end of your bed to the side of the bed.Â
âJack,â you try again. Your lips part but nothing slips out. Itâs such a simple confessionâa mere few words, yet you canât utter them.Â
âAgent,â Jack interjects, before you can choke on the words you donât want to say. His expression has returned to a combination of rigidity and anticipation. You know what Jack will say before he says it. âCan I trust you to handle this case? Do I need to remove you from this case? â He doesnât say that last part, but you hear it anyway. You take a deep breath and rub a hand over your face. Your eyes burn from all the tears you shed.Â
âI can handle it,â you assure him.Â
âYouâre close to all this,â Jack remarks. He gets up from where he had been sitting and walks back to stand behind the edge of the bed. His gaze meets yours, but you know he isnât really looking at you. That expression on his face means Jack is looking through his options, puzzling out the future in his head. You wait for him to refocus. âYou know I donât typically assign agents with personal investments in cases⊠But, youâve been on this case for a long time. You know the Ripper better than anyone else does, whether you want to admit it or not.â
You stare at Jack silently, daring him to take you off the case. You know that your words will fail you here, so you hope your conviction shows through in your eyes. Jack stares back and, for a long moment, youâre both trapped in silence. Eventually, Jack seems to ascertain that you think yourself capable. He takes a deep breath.Â
âIn terms of the Ripper, we currently have a unit determining his whereabouts,â Jack begins. âThe RipperâLecterâcovered his tracks very well. The last time he was seen wasâŠâ
âWhen he stabbed me,â you say for him.Â
âYes,â Jack confirms. âAs you know, Lecter is proficient at leaving behind very littleâif anyâevidence.â You nod, thinking back to all the crime scenes he created. There was hardly any evidence left behind. Hannibal was always meticulous and careful in his crimes.Â
âHe only leaves clues when he wants to,â you continue. âHe is not so kind hearted as to leave us clues for the hell of it, or because he slipped up. He doesnât make mistakes.â
âWe found very little in his office,â Jack concedes with a sharp nod. He pinches the bridge of his nose. Stress seems to tighten the line of his shoulders. âWe did manage to find several concealed weapons, upon closer examination.â
âHe stabbed me with a knife that was disguised as an antler on a deer sculpture,â you recall flatly. The thought makes your side flare up with pain again. âI shouldnât have gone to his office. I shouldâve come to you first. I knew, and yetâŠâ
âFrankly, Agent, that is not my concern,â Jack states matter of factly. âThe past is the past. If I were to dissect every minute mistake weâve made along the course of this investigation, weâd never be able to proceed.â
âTrue,â you answer. You still donât think Jack has truly comprehended the implications of what you just said. You knew Hannibal was the Chesapeake Ripper long before that night. After all, you didnât explicitly state when you first discovered the identity of the Ripper. Of course, you suppose it is also likely that Jack was able to intuit that from your response. If that were the case, you canât help but wonder why he hasnât kicked you off this case or fired you.Â
You know itâs best for you to drop this particular line of questioning, so you do. For the duration of Jackâs visit, he debriefs you on what the team has deduced so farâboth in terms of his current location and where heâll go next. After an hour passes, however, your luck runs out. Your nurse enters the room and promptly shoos Jack out, claiming that you need time to rest. She is entirely impervious to his objections, even when he tries to pull rank on her. Youâre rather impressed. Jack manages to get a last remark in, before the nurse can guide him out of the room.Â
âLecter will turn up soon enough,â your boss states. With that, Jack departs. His cryptic remark leaves you with a lot to think about. You spend the rest of your hospital stay grappling with the implications of that statement, with the implications of Hannibal deciding not to kill you. Youâre released from the hospital a week later with a troubled conscience and another scar to add to your collection.Â
Somehow, news of your battle with Hannibal has reached the press, Jack tells you as he drives you home in the dead of night. Ultimately, Jack decided it would be best to get you home during a time when most people are sleeping. Youâre grateful for his foresight, because when you return home, there are no flashing cameras or microphones shoved in your face. You thank Jack for the ride and he nods, sending you one final unreadable look before driving away.Â
When you unlock your front door and swing the door open, youâre surprised to find that your house appears the same as when you left it. You close the door behind you and take in everything before you. Dust is beginning to collect on the shelves and surfacesâthe space desperately needs a dedicated cleaning, but you know you donât have the energy just yet. Right now, youâre content to cautiously walk to your closet and grab clothes. Despite the fact that Jack brought you a pair of old trainee clothes to change into when he arrived, you know you need a good shower to feel clean. The lukewarm water sliding down your skin is rejuvenating, but it doesnât wipe away the dirt of your sins. You step out of the shower with clean skin and a muddy conscience. Drying off and putting on your clothes is an annoying affair, but you manage.Â
After your shower, itâs safe to say that youâre entirely lost. You donât know what to do next. You need to eat, you remember. Unfortunately, your fridge is pretty much empty. You sigh and survey the space that you call home. It doesnât feel familiar, despite the knowledge that itâs been yours for several years. These are all your belongings, yet it feels as if youâre standing in a strangerâs shoes. You look around the room, pausing when your eye catches on a scrap of newspaper. The TattleCrime article from before rests innocuously on the kitchen counter. You walk towards it immediately, as if possessed.Â
Criminally Insane. You stare at the photos featured in the article. The second photoâthe one of the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insaneâled you to realize that Frederick Chilton had been kidnapped. The first picture⊠It unsettles you. There are hints of the dark circles under your eyes that you now possess, but thereâs also an unspoken confidence in your posture in the photo. You choke on a laugh, running your fingers along the rough newspaper.Â
Itâs a miracle youâre still alive. Well, it certainly feels that way⊠but you know your survival canât be put down to mere fate. Inexplicably, Hannibal did not aim to kill you. You contemplate what wouldâve happened if he had aimed that way. You would have died in that office, certainly. Would you be free of this terrifying helplessness, this aching despair?
You manage to tear your eyes away from the article. After a moment of thought, you stuff it in a drawerâhoping you will never need to look at it again. Unsurprisingly, you still feel incredibly restless. You begin pacing slowly around the room, desperate for something to do. Perhaps this urge to do something is indicative of a deeper sentiment.Â
The cicadas buzz from the trees outside. Youâre suddenly struck with a perplexing urge to step outside. You follow that urge and walk mechanically to your front door. Maybe someone is on your porch. You peek through the peephole, unsurprised to find no one there. After a secondâs contemplation, you step out onto your porch, letting your arms rest against the railing. Â
The brisk night air doesnât help your worsening mental state. You still feel numb, empty. Nothing feels real anymore. As you look out at your driveway, at the other houses lining your street, youâre hit with an immense sonder.2Â How did you end up in this situation? How did you end up here, staring out at the suburbia around you and wishing you could take on the life of another personâsomeone who isnât desensitized to blood, gore, violence, and murder?
You donât know where to go from here. Your feelings are a dizzying combination of remorse, regret, and contemptâcombined with an unhealthy amount of wishful thinking. You raise your arms and put your head in your hands for a moment. Succumbing to darkness has never felt so comforting and terrifying at the same time.
âLecter will return soon enough.â Jack had said. There was a certainty in his voice in that momentâa sincerity that was surely unfounded. He was making a prediction and nothing more. Yet⊠the conviction in his tone made it seem as if he knew the Ripperâs next move. Surely, Hannibal hasnât grown so predictable. Surely, he will continue to elude capture for as long as he wishes.Â
A carâs headlights reach your vision, and you watch as it slowly cruises down your street. There is a certain nonchalance to the way it slowly rises on the horizon. You frown, wondering what this person is doing driving down your street at such a late hour. Perhaps itâs a neighbor. You continue to watch warily. For a moment, you swear it seems as if the carâs slowing as it approaches. Surely that canât be the case. Itâs too dark to make out the details of the carâlet alone the driver. You settle for staring in silence as it moves along. Within the blink of an eye, the vehicle moves past your driveway and into the dark expanse enveloping the space past your street. You exhale in relief, just realizing that your breath had hitched during the carâs brief stint in front of your house.Â
Why were you nervous? What were you expecting? You donât want to acknowledge the answers to those questionsâthose solutions will only bring more problems. You shake your head. Hannibal Lecter is the Chesapeake Ripper, and everyone knows. There should be nothing to be afraid of, except for a single thought that never seems to leave you. He will return for you, a voice whispers against the wind. He wants to finish the job. Â
Youâve never gotten so close to a case before. You almost wish you could travel back in time, to the first time you locked eyes with Dr. Hannibal Lecter. In that moment, you hadnât been able to rationalize the intense foreboding and trepidation that seemed to crawl up your skin as he stared back at you. You had no true grasp of the danger you would soon experience, the lives you would soon take. When did you stop trusting your instincts? Your intuition is part of the reason why youâre such a successful criminal profiler, yet you were more than willing to entirely ignore it.Â
A chill hits your skin, but itâs not from the brisk breeze of night air that gently rustles your clothes. The unsettling feeling comes from the car in your driveway, the bright headlights illuminating the woody forest behind your house. Were you so lost in thought that you neglected to notice someone approaching your driveway? You squint and take a step closer to the driveway, wavering on the edge of your porch. The car looks familiar, and that realization nearly pitches you off the porch and careening to the ground below. The driver turns the car off and swings the door open with taunting slowness. A roaring sound fills your ears.Â
âHannibal,â you remark. The driver closes the door and takes a step forward, close enough to the porch that the light hits their face and reveals familiar angled features. His lip is bleeding and there are droplets of blood scattered about his face. His clothing is ever so slightly rumpled. Other than that, Hannibal appears at ease. The Ripper looks at you, and utters your name in response.Â
You donât know what to do, what to say. Your hands clutch the railing in front of you with enough force to send bolts of pain through your fingers. It feels as if your heart is racing faster than humanly possible. Youâre reminded of the pain in your abdomen, the scar slicing dangerously close to your eye. You clench a fist at your side and walk down the steps of your porch, before turning and moving to stand at a strategic distance from Hannibal: close enough to see his face, far enough to have an illusion of control and safety.Â
The night is still. If it werenât for your unexpected visitor, you might take solace in the tranquility of the midnight sky. Now, the stars seem to wink at you in warning. When Hannibal speaks, you nearly convince yourself that you imagine it. âI have evaded capture for long enough.â An ugly, foolish sort of hope settles in your chest. You try to push it away.
âYouâre⊠surrendering,â you remark cautiously, waiting for him to dispel that notion. The Ripper does nothing of the sort. Instead, Hannibal stares at you, making strangely heated eye contact with you as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a knife. The moonlight briefly hits the metal, causing it to glimmer mockingly. Your stomach turns. The moonâs warm glow reveals more than just a shimmerâthere are murky brown stains on the blade. You recognize the splatters as dried blood and your skin crawls. Hannibal is holding the very same knife he stabbed you with. He maneuvers it expertly, holding the blade and extending the handle towards you. Everything about this moment feels like a trap, but you willingly reach out and take the proffered knife, fastening it at your belt.
After a stretch of time in which neither of you elect to say anything, you decide that Hannibal must be telling the truth. Eyes locked on the man, you fumble around in your pocket for your phone and pull it out, dialing the only number you have memorized. Your intended recipient answers before two seconds pass. âJack,â you say, your gaze still firmly fixed on the Ripper.Â
âAgent,â Jack responds. Hannibal is staring at you with intense scrutiny, evidently attempting to decipher what Jack is saying to you. That recognition causes you to pause for a moment. At your hesitation, Jackâs voice takes on a concerned yet impatient tone. âWhat is it?â
âI have him,â you say, vaguely satisfied that your voice sounds clear and composed despite the emotional rollercoaster youâve been subjected to. âThe Ripper. Heâs in my driveway.â
Jackâs end of the line is quiet. You know it must be nearly impossible to believe. You look at Hannibal and then look back at the phone, realizing what you need to do. Taking a deep breath, you bring a shaky hand up and press the speaker button. Despite every instinct in your body screaming at you, you take a small step forwardâand anotherâuntil Hannibal is close enough to the phone. For a moment, he stares down at the device pensively. Then, in the blink of an eye, he grabs your wrist and tugs you closerâevidently to get to the phone. You glare at him, but he doesnât seem to notice.Â
âHello, Jack,â Hannibal remarks, voice laced with amusement as he grasps your handâ the phone, you tell yourselfâwith unshakeable strength. Despite the severity of the situation, you canât do anything but roll your eyes at his chosen greeting. It seems Hannibalâs dramatics know no bounds. Even when his very freedom is threatened, he will continue to wear his carved mask of politeness and elegance. You try to listen for Jackâs response. Thereâs still silence on the other endâJack is probably dispatching a unit as you speak. Youâre sure Jack himself will be on his way before long.Â
Indeed, Jack confirms that a team is on the way. He hangs up and your phone screen fades to black. Despite the callâs termination, Hannibal is still holding your wrist. âCan I have my hand back?â You ask wryly. You try to shake his grip off and pull away, but he doesnât budge. Your heart is racing as you try to find an escape. Hannibal doesnât seem keen to let go, instead looking at you with mild amusement written all over his face. It doesnât take you long to come up with an idea. You attempt to shake off his grip once more, knowing it will not work. The moment you try to pull your wrist back, you take advantage of the momentum and aim a harsh kick just above his knee. Per your expectations, he doesnât anticipate the attack and is forced to fall down to a kneeling position to avoid falling over. You lock eyes with him and tear his grip off.
Hannibal looks up at you on bended knee, entirely silent. You begin to realize just what youâve doneâyou just disrespected him. You were the epitome of the rudeness Hannibal abhors. You swallow. If you werenât dead before, youâre certainly dead now. The Ripper is still silent, before tilting his head down to hide his face. Fuck, youâve really done it this time. You feel yourself taking an instinctual half step backwards, and youâre moments away from turning on your heel and running when you hear an odd sound.Â
Hannibal is laughing, you realize. Itâs a far cry from the typical gesture of joy youâd associate with laughter, but his amusement is still evident. He brings his head up once more and regards you with interest. âYou never fail to surprise me,â he remarks amiably, getting to his feet and pushing the dust from his pant leg with a quick swiping motion. Hannibal doesnât give your threat any consideration, instead simply regarding you with that same eerie look youâve grown to associate with his full attention.Â
Your hand twitches to grab the bloodstained knife at your side. You imagine yourself plunging the blade into Hannibalâs side, watching his smirk falter and his victorious expression crumple. The vindictive thought thrills you for a second, before you come back to yourself and feel immense revulsion and disgust. Hannibal almost seems to sense the mental gymnastics you're going through, as an intrigued expression flickers across his face before itâs gone in a flash.Â
Truthfully, you donât know how long you stand thereâacross from Hannibal, staring him down as he stares you down, prey regarding predatorâuntil Jack arrives. It feels like an eternity. Time seems to entirely stop during those moments. Somehow, the quiet is more informative than a conversation ever could be. You donât need wordsânot when you can see the tight line drawn across Hannibalâs shoulders, the persistence in his gaze.Â
Even eternity must come to an end, though. Police sirens blink in the distance, drawing you away from your thoughts. You watch as several police cars find their way to your driveway. Jack sits in the passenger seat of the car at the front, and heâs quick to step out of the car. S.W.A.T. officers swarm out of the cars, weapons pointed at Hannibal. There is a horrible tension settling in the air, thick enough to make your breaths occur just a little faster.
Despite the exorbitant amount of fully-armed S.W.A.T officers, youâre still afraid. Hannibal is closest to you. If he wanted to, he could kill youâeven with so many people present. You donât doubt his strength or agility. These recognitions leave your heart drumming in your chest at an incessantly quick rhythm. You glance over at Jack and he nods, holding a hand up to the officers and walking towards you.Â
âDoctor Lecter,â Jack remarks. Even now, he is incredibly composed. You latch onto his composure and try to emulate it, though you know it wonât look convincing enough. The headlights from the cars are blinding and you turn your head, giving your burning eyes a brief reprieve.Â
âJack,â Hannibal responds, his hands raised in the air in surrender. The Ripper is indeed powerless, yet the gesture looks mocking. A few officers step closer and surround Hannibal, who kneels down with his arms still raised high. âYou finally caught the Chesapeake Ripper.â His hands move to rest behind his head.Â
Jack stares at the killer with an indecipherable expression. âYou surrendered.â
âI want you to know exactly where I am,â Hannibal responds to Jack. After that remark, his head turns and dread rises in your chest as you realize heâs looking towards you. His eyes are glittering in the moonlight. âAnd where you can always find me.â Youâre frozen, limbs locked as his crimson eyes pierce through you.Â
Vaguely, you hear Jack order for Hannibal to be placed in his car. The officers pull Hannibal up from his knees and escort him to the police car. The Ripperâs gaze is locked on you until he enters the vehicle. Jack remains where he stands, sending you a look. You incline your head slightly, to wordlessly encourage him to leave you. Jack seems hesitant to do so, but his sense of responsibility must win out, because he walks back towards the car. You still feel as if youâre being watched, and you get the feeling Hannibal is staring at you from behind the dark tinted glass. The police car slowly reverses out of your driveway, before heading down your street and eventually out of sight.Â
You purse your lips, before walking back up the steps to your porch. Everything seemed to have happened far too fast. In the blink of an eye, youâre left to stand alone, with nothing but your conflicting feelings of grief, anger, and remorse for company. Memories burrow their way under your skin. Each breath is a testament to your own cruelty.Â
Inexplicably, you reach up to touch the jagged scar cutting down your face. Your fingertips brush against the marred skin and you jolt. Your abdomen burns in remembrance. Hannibal Lecter has given you the quiet evenings, the comfortable silence settling in the air, and the thrill of an attentive, burning gaze that sends warm embers dancing up your skin.
But he has taken so much more from you in return.
Gone is the gentle caress of a hand on your cheek and the comfort of having unquestionable support. Gone is the hard-won feeling of being truly seen for who you are. Gone is the excitement, the anticipation of knowing that your companion can never truly be predicted. All of it is gone.Â
You look up at the moon glimmering in the dark night sky. You idly wonder if Hannibal sees it too. Itâs a foolish thought. His cell likely wonât have windows. He has probably been confined to four walls of cement, a metal toilet, and a thin, dingy mattress on a cold metal frame. There is no hope for someone like Hannibalâhe will earn several life sentences and spend his entire life in that cage. You have to wonder: why? Why would he surrender?
It was a tactical surrenderâthat much you know for certain. Hannibal could easily have spent the rest of his life moving from place to place, taking on new identity after new identity. He could have spent however long he wanted, camouflaged but free.Â
Freedom. Maybe thatâs the answer. After all, that kind of aggressive mimicry is not necessarily freedom. Hannibal Lecter values being an enigma. The mystery that surrounds him, in part, relies on his reputation. Life spent in hiding isnât really life at all. Even someone like Hannibalâsomeone with arguably everything to loseâwould understand that sentiment.Â
You exhale slowly, watching as your puff of breath fades into the air. You suppose Hannibalâs statement may have carried some truth. You will always know where to find him; you wonât be able to bury the memory of him next to the other skeletons in your closet and leave him to rot. Whenever your psyche falters, Hannibal will be thereâimprisoned within your mind palace, gathering strength and lying in wait.Â
Your phone rings in your pocket. You pull it out, momentarily surprised by the time displayed. Itâs getting late. You hadnât realized how long you spent lost in thought. When you answer, your voice sounds unfamiliar to your ears.Â
âCrawford,â Jack clarifies, cutting right to the chase, âWe got him.â There is no further explanation needed.Â
âWe got him, Jack,â you echo. The recognition sounds hollow, empty. Your gaze is pulled towards your driveway once more. Jackâs voice reaches your ears, but you canât discern what heâs saying over the ringing in your ears.Â
Hannibal Lecter is behind bars now, yet youâre the one who feels trapped. Youâre a prisonerâtrapped in a cage of your own broken design.
1. Dracula by Bram Stoker
2. Sonder refers to the feeling of realization that everyone, including strangers and passersby, have lives just as complex and vivid as your own.
Sorry if the intro parts were confusing. I wanted to *try* to write it in a way that showed how weird and unusual dreams can really be, especially after traumatic events.The mind is infinitely powerful, able to conjure up a new reality at a momentâs notice. I liked the idea of the reader drowning in a whirlpool of their own mindâs creationâas they fight to get back to reality. (also, I found the word âumbra,â which is apparently used to describe the shadow created by an eclipse. I think thatâs cool as hell, so I included it.) Dream logic never quite makes sense and can be extremely convoluted, which is why the intro is a messy assortment of memories with no clear beginning or end.
Yâall seemed to like my rationalization for the previous chapter, so Iâll include some similar notes for this chapter if youâre interested:
Hannibalâs surrender in this chapter is very much calculated. He realizes that heâs no longer freeâsince the FBI are onto him. There is a sort of cruelty in the life he would have to lead, as his âfreedomâ would include lots of mental effort, relocating, and subterfuge. Hannibal likely weighs his options, and decides between a life of constant stealth and relocation, and a life behind bars. Itâs reasonable to assume that he also would have realized that his status as the Chesapeake Ripper would grant him special privileges as a prisonerâheâs aware of how much the Ripper has dominated the cultural zeitgeist and knows he will be able to use that notoriety to his advantage in captivity.
Of course, Hannibal also knows how to best dominate your thoughts: by remaining in one place. As he mentions, you will always know where he is and where to find him. You will not have to track him down by following the calculated clues he leaves behindârather, you will constantly have to live with the underlying knowledge that Hannibal is accessible at any and every moment. In this case, Hannibalâs surrender is quite a tactical and manipulative move. He truly chooses to go to prison. It would be unsettling to know that the Ripper was on the loose, yes. But, the Ripper has been on the loose and free for several years already. On the other hand, it would be downright disturbing to know that Hannibalâs presence in prison is a willful choiceâone that can be taken back at any moment. That can easily manifest a constant lingering fear in the back of the readerâs mind, in addition to an eternal desire to pin down exactly why Hannibal is remaining captive, chained. The chessmaster is willingly surrendering, but the game is far from over.
And now⊠Act 1 of this story is complete!Â
Never fear, Hannibal will return in Act 2! As for the other characters⊠Well, youâll have to wait and see. ;) I will say that Act Two embraces some elements of The Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs. Donât worry, thoughâyou donât need to have read either of them. :3
Hereâs a scrap for your efforts! (*throws you this unused dialogue like a scruffy middle-aged man with grey hair and a scratchy quarter-zip throws a piece of raw beef to the wolves outside his cabin*) This was one of the MANY options I had considered (but never used) for the big reveal:
âHow long have you known?â Hannibal asks. âFrom the moment you invited me into your home,â you answer. Thereâs silence for a dreadful moment. âAnd you stayed.â âI did.â âWhy?â âI like talking to you, I enjoy your company.⊠Does one really need a reason to keep the company of another?â You finish. A beat of quiet. â... I suppose not,â Hannibal acquiesces.
Act 2 will be posted as the second part of this series. Here's the link to the AO3 series: these jagged scars. I'll also post it over here on Tumblr. :)
Thank you so so so much for all the support! Your likes, comments, and reblogs keep me going! <33333
taglist đ€: @its-ares @tobbotobbs @xrisdoesntexist @gr1mmac3 @tiredstarcerberuslamb @yourlocalratwriter @kingkoku @kahuunknown @atlas-king1 @pendragon-writes @slipknotcentury @cryinersaved @the-ultimate-librarian @starre-eyes @pendragon-writes @peterparkeeperer @gayschlatt69
#male reader#x male reader#hannibal nbc#hannibal Lecter x reader#hannibal x reader#Hannibal x gn reader#hannibal x male reader#Hannibal Lecter x male reader#Hannibal Lecter x gn reader#yall get the idea#transmasc reader#I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINISHED THIS FIC#LITERALLY ALMOST CRIED HAPPY ACCOMPLISHED TEARS LAST NIGHT
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Autism- I mean- creativity :D
This is genuinely what it feels like anytime yall agree on a comic
#ask reply#our minds meld#the greatest minds coming together to talk about FNAF#I especially feel this when yall had the same ideas#and or when yall really get it#and really expand on it#I know I donât reply a ton but I do read a lot of what yâall say#and yeah itâs mind to mind connection#maybe a bit of the tism but thatâs a given
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Please draw varian from tangled the series!!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/02d25ab05dcb0748173bcd70630807e6/3a9bd1113adff9d2-6b/s540x810/75bdf64019320b9ff17f58f92055f2065e97a3eb.jpg)
ok
#messyr#yo- reminder the way i draw requests are only through prompts/ideas that can HOOK ME enough to get me drawing.. but for this case..#just have this lol#tangled is one of my biggest insp in art yall ::')#doodle#artists on tumblr#tangled the series#tangled varian
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
---------------
Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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Country singer Steve Harrington, who has always leaned more into the pop country side of things (think Wanted by Hunter Hayes), but wants his third album to be more true to old school country roots.
His label agrees but only if he works with Eddie Munson, a rock star who had to leave the spotlight when he got kicked out of his band for, well, rockstar behavior gone too far.
Steve isn't amused, especially because he doesn't care for metal music or rock star shenanigans. He was "raised better" and doesn't think Eddie could sit down and write songs with actual emotion and feeling.
Cue long songwriting sessions where Eddie is trying his hardest to be on his best behavior because he knows this is his last shot at being taken seriously, and Steve being surprised every time Eddie proves that he's talented as a songwriter and musician, well outside the scope of just metal and rock.
They write a song that they're both so proud of, Steve asks if he'll record it with him just for fun. The released version would just be Steve.
Eddie agrees.
It's an incredible duet, something country music has needed forever, but Eddie doesn't want that version out there.
The label genuinely accidentally releases their version instead of the Steve only version. As soon as they realize, they remove it from official places, but it's too late.
Fans have already heard it and have gone crazy over it, begging them to let the radio play this version, begging for this version to be available for streaming. The Steve version is great, but it doesn't have the emotion that's laced in the tone of them singing together.
Eddie finally gives in when he sees how happy Steve is about the reaction to it.
But the label decides they want them to tour together, have Eddie work as his opening act, perform his acoustic songs that haven't been officially released anywhere. Eddie can't do it.
He can't go back into that lifestyle. He couldn't do it to his band, who made him promise that he'd come back to them when he got his shit straight. He can't do it to his fans, who stuck by him through some rough shit, but probably wouldn't support a fucking country music career. He definitely can't do it to Steve, who deserves to have someone with him who can be trusted not to go off the deep end.
So he runs. He hides. His uncle welcomes him home, congratulates him on finally embracing his country roots.
It doesn't take long for Steve to find him.
Because he'd been more honest with Steve than he'd ever been with anyone. He told him about his childhood, his Uncle Wayne, his struggle to make it. He told him about his worse struggle when he did make it, how he got in with the wrong people, the wrong things. Prioritized the lifestyle more than his own life.
Of course Steve knew where he'd run to.
Of course Steve came to remind him what his life could be if he allowed himself to find new priorities.
Steve's lips were pretty persuasive, but not nearly as persuasive as his promises to remind him what he could have if he kept his life his priority.
"But what if I let you down?"
"You won't."
"But-"
"No. You won't. You're gonna do amazing things for yourself. And I'm gonna be there to see it happen. That's all."
And he was.
They co-wrote Steve's entire album while Eddie worked on recording his own original songs. He liked that it was an old school rock and roll feel, some blues, some country, some hints of metal sneaking in on a couple songs.
He called his band to come help him with a song, hesitant to even ask, but they came. Of course they came.
He called his Uncle Wayne to play banjo on a song, worried that he wouldn't like the heavier electric guitar notes over it. Of course he loved being involved.
When their tour started, he let himself actually feel nervous.
But instead of running, he looked at the man who supported him through it, even when his own career was on the line.
Of course Steve was there.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#headcanon#drabble#rock star eddie munson#country singer steve harrington#what a wild tag that is to type#if yall were in my brain you'd be begging to get the hell out of it#i swear to god#i had this idea forever ago and was like YES YEARNING PINING ENEMIES TO LOVERS#and then just got bogged down so here#someone else do that
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oh you know
#shoutout to the person who bought this card on etsy#and was amenable to the sharpie idea#calligraphy#also yall get to see my real handwriting lol
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