#yall dont like him the way i doo

[gallavichdivorce]

mickey milkovich

[sagesbard]

Is it okay for me to request some sfw fluff hcs for post-crash Curly? Like the reader taking care of him and keeping him company on the tulpar or during his post-rescue recovery

If you’re not comfortable writing for post-crash Curly, I’d like some sfw + nsfw hcs with dorky, socially awkward reader and enamored Curly. Best way i can describe it is that line from the live action scooby doo movies where fred says to velma “i’m a man of substance. Dorky chicks like you turn me on too”

RAHHHH I LOVE DORKY READERS SM YALL DONT UNDERSTANDDDD

I am gonna use fem! Details for the reader mainly because I'm not good with male descriptions as it is and trying to make them vague for everyone genuinely might make me explode.

When he sees you start rambling about something you're interested in for the first time he's done for.

Head over heels obsessed dude.

Anytime you talk about something you're passionate about he starts researching it and finding little details to bring up to you in a conversation.

If youre the type to get even more excited when someone brings up a detail (like me fr) that's his favorite part of the day.

When y'all cuddle at night and you start rambling tiredly that's when he just smiles lovingly. This is his future wife and he wouldn't have it any other way.

NSFW

If he notices you really like a character in that type of way he MIGHT find a cosplay or a way they dress and try to "seduce" you with that.

9 times out of 10 you both just sit there laughing for 45 minutes.

BUT if it's like a time period thing like the wild west for example and he notices you're having a bad week or things just haven't been that exciting in the bedroom he'll 100% come into y'all's room with some type of get up and when you ask him what he's doing he just smiles dumbly in whatever stupid accent (to the best of his ability because Aussie Curly)

Imma keep running with the cowboy one because yes.

If there's like a prop or something like rope he can use he's definitely using it.

Tying you up gently ofc and fucking you sweetly OMG.

Putting his cowboy hat on your head and making you ride him.

Your day gets a million times better from that alone.

Granted you probably won't be able to walk after.

[cantyouhearmeoutside]

Head Cannons

____________••___________••____

for woods brothers (Liu and Jeffrey and I’ll add Toby Roger’s for fun!)

JUST HEAD CANNONS NOT CANNON SOME OF IT MIGHT BE CANNON I JS FORGOT IDKKK!!!

Also there kinda boring and ppl probably already think this stuff

Liu Woods

• I have always imaged Liu with the shaggy hair from like Scooby doo or fucking Roblox

• He is older than Jeff but he’s 14 but the same height.

• Liu didn’t die in my ��AU?” But I don’t do the homicidal Liu story tbh it’s a good thing but I don’t personally like it, I think he just lived a happy life tbh but once he hit like 37 his kids all kinda went on and had their lives and his wife died so he went and chased after Jeff and became homicidal Liu then. Tbh for me it makes more sense because why would he be 20 and hanging out at the bus stop with a bunch of 12-16 year olds… no hate tho just my perspective/ thoughts.

• Liu was definitely born in July or April I mean there’s no way he’s NOT. Like he’s born in spring/summer but loves fall/winter.

• He always liked to read comic books and always got good grades, he was more of the ‘golden child’ but maybe unpopular opinion but I don’t think their parents abused them AT ALL I think Jeff just had some issues and their parents just thought he was being a grouch teenager.

‘Jeff’rey Woods

• Jeffrey in my perspective wasn’t like emo tbh, he never brought on emo to me I dont know why but I always took him as this stereotypical 13 year old boy was like 2012 like playing Roblox and skate boards and stuff living in the suburbs (which I know nothing about abt lmao bc I’m broke asf) but yeah

• Changing up the story a bit but Jeff was always obsessed with zombies and scary stuff as a child and up until 13 when he got brunt and stuff his hair fell out a bit and oh my gosh that pissed him on so he went and bought a wig glued on and hasn’t taken it off since (disgusting I know). So his hair has always been brown and never magically changed black.

• Tbh when I hear the word suburbs I think of like Denver Colorado. I dont know why, I think it’s because it’s far from me and a popular place and I’ve never seen a suburbs before expect in movies. So the story takes place in Colorado and that’ll be useful in a minute.

• and lastly he has the one blue eyes like 🧿👄🧿

Toby Rogers

• okay so I wanted to add him because my au their cousins and I heard that they actually lived two blocks down from eachother so yeah I dont know if that’s true but I’ll take it but woods family moved their when Toby’s mom told them there’s a house for sale after the woods family dad got a promotion and it was near by and whatever (made this up)

• If you ever watched Corrine does Toby kinda remind you of wybie or whatever the fuck his name is well like I totally see him acting like him and stuff and sounding a bit like him or just like! And Toby kinda puts off this like vibe I dont know how to explain it but kinda like out in the woods in 2009 it’s like a rural place and there’s mud and a creek and the Appalachian mountains I dont know tho

Anyways sorry that was so boring yall

[insect-library]

Hello! :D Could you please write a Kevin from Spooky month x reader Fluff? <:] The reader is a bit shy but tries to flirt with Kevin, in their own way! (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) Thank you so much if you do this, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night! ^^

🍬kevin x reader!!!!🍫

(Omgomgogmog yes tysm for the requestt!!! These r gonna be headcanons cus i dont have the 🕺energy🕺 for oneshots rn/lh)

🍭 eeee okay so first of all, when yall first meet hes like,, super closed off

🍭 hes quiet, hes figdety, he answers in short sentences, etcetc

🍭 after a little while he starts warming up to you, and when he does its VERYYY noticable

🍭 he tells you every tiny thing that happens in his life, he'll text you abt work when its boring, and when those darn annoying kids wont wuit bothering him

🍭 you develop feelings preeettty quick after yall start actually talking

🍭 when you finally realize you like him, you start getting nervous

🍭 "AAAAAA what do i doo??!??!?" Typa nervous

🍭 eventuually you work up courage to "flirt" with him (compliment him once, very quietly, very quickly)

🍭 hes caught off guard by said compliment, youre both left blushing and nervous and very "aaaa!!" (From literally just one compliment)

🍭every interaction yall have after that is SOOOO corny couple shit/pos (not even dating yet, just vibes)

🍭theres a ton of shy flirting, eventually leading up to a date or two

🍭the dates are adorable yall are adorable everyones soooo cute blahblahblah cute couple <3

[rockintapper]

i say stuff about rh characters part 2two

becuase. teehee

the fir1st one, the t3hird one

rhds tiem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!readmore jumpscare

yuka: wair i already d

that frog doll from the tutorial: I give!

note: the jumperrrr

widget: oh its you. yknow your older brother /gn akai mono likes to piss people off sometimes /silly

conductor: jj rpcker questions why you dont move and im glad i can answer her with "he does in megamix"

chorus kids: hi elleon the screaming screamers. theyre ltierally so sikly. but Watch Out

robots (fillbots): the snall one reminds me of coxmo. yall know cozmo? the lil guy and he had cubs that he plays with. and you cn like. and he. cost 200 dolar. the snall rovoNow i feel nostalgic

pop singer (erina): shhehehjdubdmyedrjguexrguderjugdexkvguuggxrwguvvjgkzhdvjgwxd

monkey (fan club): boy stop staring at me your judgemental ass lyour fuckin We're the best fanclSHUT yo stupid ass up fuckin banana lookin headasss i suppose you should jump off a cli

paddler: scare the shit out of me /half sily

blastronaut and shoot-'em-up radio lady: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

inturders: l + ratio + get blasted

captain blue bird: when i heard this lil shit go "STRETCH OUT YOUR NECK" the firsttime i was like WA IT THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHIGNG,,, WHHWHAHAYTFAFYA

the blue birds: ok actually. the enitre minigame takes me all the way back to the we are number one rh remix imm so df. s SADDACGFHEVVHG /POS

moai kids: doo-womp womp

moai bird: wait i though you were called seagullx

love lizards: Wonderful cnaracters, HHHHHHORIBBLE minigame. that is all. unles you uh. i mean. listen. leans c,oser to you. what if you flicked for each shake.

stomp farI HHEHDHHHHHJBJFXHEHBSDXJHB. GRABS HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM IT WAS OOONNNEEE MOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE OOOOONENEEEEEE MOOOOOLLLLLEEEEEEE

oh god the vegetables again: ok!

moles: pats your head. i know. hes very mean to you guys. i mean. like. i misse dlike One of oyu and stomp farmer gave me A GOD FORSAKEN ok. i know its not his fault its the games. judgement system. but the way he

tj snapper: me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic

tj snapper's girlfriend: me and the goofy guy i pulled by being autistic

the dazzles: stop staring at me im trting my best,,

munchy monk: i call him munchy in my head. he smiles SOOO WIDE in the battle of the bands audience hes so goofy i lov

dj yellow: SCRATCHO

dj blue: i. the lips. the lips. what have the done to you. its gonna be okay. i sure as hell am not drawing you with those big ass lips. hily s

taiko rally squad: DON DOKODOKODON DOKODOKODON kinda unfair how in the try again and ok screens this guy Loses. but in the superb screen BOTH SIDES WIN. PARTICIPATION TROPHY-ASS SHIT

research scientists of love lab: bi4bi. and if youre willing, bi4bi4bi.

the three synchrettes: alley-oop!

dolphins: oh cool dolphins :)

ecto: omg hiiiii helloo litle guyyy i wuv youuu ^_^ kises your snall tiny forehead

booboo: FUCK you FUCK you FUCK you FU

spooky: honestly? i fw him

dog ninja: i wanna cook soup wjf youbyoure soawesome and cool and i lpve you hii doggyyy hi dogy. dohyynkkgunnbuyrctib

mister eagle: thanks for telling me to cut the fruits. i was gonna do that anyway but like. shoutout to you man. props

the frogettes: jj rocker really likes you huh. cant get enough young love rock and roll even

space kicker: hi radar AAGHHHH THE SPACE!!! KI IEKR AAHH ITS HIM INAHIUIBSSYSBIYFIBYDS /VPOS

stepswitcher: love these thangs. i have several of my own thangs. the one i (mc) adore most is the purple thang. his name is mo

JJ ROCLEKEKRKMJ &*;*;&;&$-$×<;^<^<^$ UBGDEBGSCXUGBUSDXGBBHG my eif ei lvoe her so so sp sososososoos muuch foreverrr aheehee giggle. kicks my feet twirls my hair. i think i hauve covid

STUDENT ROKCKONOUCRFUIBCFEJHBGCERBGUSXD MY CHILD HE HAS EVERY DISEASE

airboarder: yeeeeaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH LETS GO

seals: wait. whatd you do with the dolphins. where are they. say somethign . Where are thr DOLPH

smiling coin: do i know you

thr cnaract3rs from tunnel the endless game: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i gues. but like. do you really ned a cowbell to keep driving? i mean. just record yourself playing a cowbell and like play it on the radio. just do that. why am i holding a cowbell anc playing the cowbel for YOU. do it yourselfIs she even listening to. m

glass tappers: ths Glass Tappers J SWEWR EVERY TIME I READ THR WORD "TAPPERS"

the thing from rhythmove dungeon: youre. okay. i guess. i only played your endless game once. uh it 's fine. i mean.

clodhopper pickens: youre so full of glee,, id be happy too if my business card made music,,

slot monster: tjen scdrunkly. scdunkyl. scrunkly. sc

octo-pop: WAHAHHA THE. MSUIC SO FAST

beat machine: i barely messed around with this one. it's fine . wish the crowd wasnt so judgemental thogu

beatbag I dont know this one

kappa dj: ive seen you on davidmismol thumbnails and thats basically it lel

okaye wow owwowow owowowo WOWWOWWOW

[dangopango00]

COLLEGE BAND AU HEADCANONS

Legato x gn reader

It was pretty rude of me to just randomly put an au fic without explanation so heres the explanation bye still self indulgent; always will be i fear

more utc

- OK FIRST ABOUT HIM. He works for knives still but in this au his job is to cause vash suffering by 😭😭… outselling him??? Ridonkulous ik but go with it

- Knives wants him to outsell vash so vash realizes that art and human creativity is obsolete and instead help him run his tech/AI company that also focuses on helping global warming (humans suck they should die. robots go!)

- Hes apart of a band to rival Vash’s and ofc its the Gung Ho Guns; he hired them to play for him

- Tbh i think their genre isnt set in stone bc theyre purely doing this to outsell vash so I think theyd keep the core of it rock or indie but it has a lot of shifting gears, doing wtv gets the most traction

- Legato is the bassist but he knows keyboard if their keyboardist is absent

- I think legato writes most of the songs himself (to impress knives ofc this is still HIS mission afterall) and gets a lil sad and defensive if it flops LMFAO even if its just his first album; considering how Knives talked down on music Legato thought it’d be somewhat easy

- It DEFINITELY took him a while to write things that had some semblance of humanity in it tbh he had to have either another less emotionally stunted member write it or a ghost writer but he did still practice writing in his spare time since he had nothing better to do

- NOW ABOUT YALL. Ur roommates in a college dorm; if it were up to him he’d have an apartment but knives wanted him to keep an eye on vash and vash lives on campus

- He only has like one or two official rules as roommates but if ur pissing him off with sth thats not on the list he WILL let u lnow LOL

- The only rules established off rip are:

1. MYOB

2. Do not touch him (no tolerance rule if u touch him without permission he WILL be out of there asap even if its a lot of trouble and will probably even idk push u or sth ignore u forever, hope and pray on ur downfall idk its hard to translate his violent tendencies to modern society without getting him arrested ok)

- You often eat together when he isnt busy tbh usually in silence but its ok its comfortable silence (to him at least)

- Ok im gonna try to say this in the least creepy way possible but like. He likes to observe you for inspiration HEAR ME OUT. Just seeing u go about ur day and since hes always in first person POV seeing someone else just… live gives him immense inspiration on what to write

- He also gets inspo from other artists and heres where u come in hehe. You are a solo artist who doesn’t show your face and your speaking voice is pretty much completely different from ur singing voice (Not like insanely different but if you heard the two separately you wouldnt really connect the dots unless ur one of those people who connect voices easily + depending on ur genre u could be using a completely different tone of voice than usual)

- Your genre is a little similar to Legato’s in the fact that although you keep your core component (Love theme IMO but hey i dont make the rules yes i doo) you change around the other moving parts such as the instruments or wtv so he listens to your music often though he never really thought it would be you; just never really thought about the possibility

- Im not gonna say hes like obsessed with your artist persona or anything but he does (as much as he would rather khs than admit it since according to Knives music is the bane of this world) greatly enjoy your music and often finds himself getting your songs stuck in his head

- Hes def a gatekeeper i mean this is the guy who can name every song in ur discography (Not saying much though since you dont post too often)

- ANYWAY u have no idea this is going on since hes prone to just listening to music in his headphones rather than showing you or blasting it for the world to hear so ur relationship is developing as normal roommates

- You often get him stuff from the college snack shack and in return he often gives u whatever he doesnt want from the dining hall (that sounds crappy but its usually good stuff like ur fave fruit or cheese and crackers or sth)

- After u become a bit closer going on trips together becomes common not like vacation but like a little drive to a department store or him taking you with him to practice/performances

- SPEAKING OF PRACTICE U work part time at a coffee shop and it has a practice room which is where he usually brings his band it sounds random but I’ve encountered a coffee place like this before ok

- Killing two birds with one stone, he gets to see you on his way in and out and he gets a quiet place to practice + Vash often brings his band here too so ig killing two birds and one afterthought with one stone

- Other GHGs (NOT greenhouse gasses. Gung ho guns) think that ur another one of his groupies probably 💀 he def has tons i fear

- He def writes songs about you or rather than about you, references how u make him feel but he is in denial and thinks feelings are embarrassing so hes just like no they just gave me inspiration

- Its ok though the only one he has to justify himself to is himself bc hes like. The only one who knows its about u since his songs are never rlly about romance and in the rare cases that they are its very subtle

- When, if ever, he feels ready for touch he frames it like hes doing u a favor lmao “I will allow you to (blank)” he is tbh

Random Misc:

- Hes majoring in Ecology or Conservation Biology prob minoring in sth like computer science (his entire life surrounds Knives what did u expect)

- Sleeps in his daytime clothes and ur always like ???? Esp bc he wears jeans often… U two went to the department store one time and u convinced him to let u buy him pajamas so he could wash the day clothes overnight

- Hes a big ass fan of vinyls and cds and just physical ways of owning things like music or games but wont admit to himself he likes it its just for the aesthetic ok even though he has a record and cd player

- Wants to cut ur hair and feels like its one of the most intimate things u could do without having to touch too much (forever subscribed to knives cut his hair hc)

- If u have a lot of accessories and generally just a lot of stuff he gets annoyed if it isnt properly organized and will organize it for u wnv hes having writers block

- If ur an artist he has u make his merch designs n stuff 😍😍 he pays very generously he rlly dgaf abt money tbh + Knives sponsoring him

A/N: irrelevant but idk whether to imagine him as tristamp or trigun design like both are so good but Ok im done yapping ty

[jacedified]

SUMMIT PT 2 LIVE REACTION

wdym u can explain eventually

TELL HIM VINCE- i-

WILLIAM ORDERED U but like why tho

ok porter i love u MWAH

SOLAIRES STAND AS ONE NATION UNDER GOD INDIVISIBLE whatever whatever

ALEXIS GET UR SHIT TOGETHER

period alexis

i would love a game of clue rn

shes not wrong abt the wrinkles

LEX??? WTF AYE Lex VINCENT WTF DO U MEAN LEX

sweethearts safe and sound BLESS 😭

GIRL ATP I NEED U TO SPEAK IM TO ANXIOUS FOR SILENCE

milo bby its ok OUR POOKIE IS OK

asher smooch MWAH ily be safe

yea davey king dead happened while u were in negotiations

PUSH THEM AWAY???

DAYYYUMM ofc they didnt get to see who did the murder DAAAMMNIT

idky but evacuate the dance floor is playing in my head

(EVACUATE THE DANCE FLOOR DOO DOO DOO DOO IM ADDICTED TO THE SOUND) ((i forgot the lyrics))

aww another trusting moment between the men

PORTER CMERE BABES

yeah tell him asher

GET HIS ASS

PORTERR ill-

GET HIM ASHEERRRR

im crying i have tears in me eyeballs yall i cant

SPEAK SIR

ok thats true but like why did u send SH in there right before u knew he was gonna die????

DID I HEAR HEARSAY

true i cant handle a war rn and lovely shouldnt be spending their first year fighting on behalf of a clan they just became a part of

porter if ur not spinning then why do u look like a ballerina rn?? hmm?? EXPLAIN

YEA BUT THE NUDGE WAS DONE KNOWING SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN A LITTLE HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN FUCKING NICE

lets go crazy crazy crazy till we see the sun

the department is right there.. in sweetheart form

BLOOD FIRST??? oh yeah vampire clan rules blah blah i remember this being mentioned during quinns little moment

WHO TF IS SPEAKING?? alexis? GIRL THATS NOT U SPEAK LIKE NORMAL

OH THE MONARCH IS SPEAKING i was lost

baas? bahs? someone spell this for me i wanna kiss her SORRY yall

BOYS JUST KEEP UR WOLFY HANDS DOWN

. . . yeah shes not wrong solaire and friends should probably sit out

MILO ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

as if you care princely pop..

OH- TELL HIM ALEXIS clock him

oooooh???

alexa play ash by seventeen

well william aint here rn hes got other rich people duties

i hope SH is like stupidly staring at alexis the way i would be

so ur saying u left him alone before he died

HE DIDNT SAY? mf u were pestering abt funding just say he was annoyed w u

LEAVE WILLIAM ALONE HES BUSY (this is my sticking up for my 500 something yr old bby daddy)

well thats just hearsay princely poo

oh- AYE ADAM DESERVED IT CUNT!! (no he didnt i love him but yes he did)

YEAAAA TELL HIM

thank u porter poo

yea … christopher

they were fighting vincent for the most part so alibi CHECK

sorry monarch we didnt mean to kil- i mean let the king die without notice.. ill let u know next time

THEY FOUND SOMETHING YAALL

MORE TO THE STORY??? omg OH SHIT demon blood on a letter opener is crazy

so someone stabbed my other future husband with a letter opener

SHE CALLED ASHER PUP i love the monarch

OK MONARCH I WAS JUST COMPLIMENTING U GOD DAMN IT BE NICE

ok maybe david was a little silly asking that question but u cant expect him to know everything

so basically what im hearing is a demon was involved only ppl who closely align with empowered and demons would the house of bennett and their relationship with closeknit

CHRISTOPHER U LYING SACK OF SHIT WE CAUGHT U

ONE OF U OLD BAGS CALL ANOTHER SHAW PACK BOYS A DOG AND YOULL BE ON THE NEXT BEHEADING LIST

exactly someone got caught lacking after killing the king and didnt think to fuckin check themselves before letting the king be found

period porter.

i would retype all of this but shes just speaking fact so i dont need to take note of any of it

YOU GAVE HER THE POWER TO DO SO DUMBASS

ANOTHER DEATH??? damn both kings dead during the summit is wild

yeah milo my mind is kinda blown

NO MORE MONEY FOR CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT NO MORE MONEY CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT

vincent im too mentally unstable for an “are you alright lovely”

I REMEMBER IT BEING SPELLED BAAS so monarch baas is very right

NO HES JUST A BBYGIRL HE DONT KNOW NOTHIN

help “with any luck it wont be the last” shes so real for that

YES MAAM THIS WILL BE REPEATED TO KNOW ONE LOVE U HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR SUMMIT *bow bow*

vincent listen i love u but like shes right we just have to keep it pushing

PORTER VINCENT TALK TIME lets gooo

IM EXCITED FOR PT 3

[msm-tsotmw]

4/15/20XX

Another day on Cold Island. Toorie’s still getting used to the below-zero temperature, but asides from that—and her broken leg—we’re doing okay. I’m trying to take a look at the weird “critters” that roam this island, but Toorie keeps on picking them up and saying things to them like “awww the spibbly poinky doo” or whatever.

Anyways, Mondo’s trying to convince us to come to his snow-house where they live with his sister. Pretty sure it’s just so they can go home early, which we are NOT doing until after we’ve reached Celestial Island.

ik we cant go home until the adventures over i just wanted to see my sister

…Fine.

So , Mondo , You Said You And Your Sister Live In A Pile Of Snow , Right ?

yea

…. Where Is It ? This Place Is Covered In Snow …

itll take some time but ill lead yall there

anyways pack ur shit cos were leavin and uh follow me

Okay ! And Please Watch Your Language . And Also Maybe Step Because I Heard It Rained Last Night

(The trio packs their shit and leaves.)

(After a few minutes of walking, the trio makes it to where the path they followed splits into 4.)

…So where do we go?

that way

where the really big tree is

Okay , Let’s Go Then !

(The trio passes the tree, and Mondo was right—it really IS big. Also really pretty.)

Wow , This Tree Is Really Pretty ! These Icicles Look Like Willow Tree Leaves , It’s So Beautiful !

yea :)

… Mondo , Why Are You Looking At Me Like That ?

uh nothin

lets just go

(The trio continues on their way to Mondo’s house. Toorie speeds on ahead, which is kind of surprising considering its broken leg, and Sprigg catches up to a very embarrassed Mondo.)

(…What the fuck was that, Mondo?)

(i)

(i dunno she just)

(looked really)

(ah fuck it)

(Looked really what?)

(uh)

(pretty)

(dont tell toorie but i kinda have a crush on it)

(Excuse me, what?)

(i said i have a cru-)

What Are You Two Talking About Back There ?

nothing just uhh

sports

…Mondo, I don’t even like sports. At all. Not after I was kicked around like a soccer ball.

uhhhhh celestials actually

did you know attmoz never brushed his hair in his entire life

Oh Wow , Is That True ?

…Mondo, you know DAMN FUCKING WELL that Attmoz actually cared a LOT for its hair. Vhamp even had to invent some kind of automatic hair-brushing machine for him.

uh

he did

Yeah. Check your facts, smartass.

Oh , That’s Interesting ! I Never Knew The Celestials Would Care So Much About Their Looks .

I mean, why do you THINK Galvana looked so young despite being THOUSANDS of years old?

Uh , Immortality ?

(Sprigg faceleafs. Which is facepalming except there’s no hands and only some limb-like branch appendage on your head.)

No. Rejuvenating facial cream. Or maybe magic. Celestiologists are still debating that.

Ooh :0

Anyways , I’ll Just Keep Walking Now ! You Two Gonna Come And Catch Up ?

uh yeah

later maybe

(Toorie turns away, leaving Mondo and Sprigg back in their secret conversation.)

(sprigg i need help how do i tell her)

(Don’t ask me, I’ve never dated or loved a single Monster in my life. Besides, I’m aroace so I don’t plan on doing that kinda shit.)

(oh ok)

(You know, for a self-proclaimed “rizzler” or whatever the fuck that is, you’re pretty bad at flirting.)

(ik)

(i wanna tell her but idk how and im scared shell reject me)

(Listen, a Monster THAT nice would never reject you. Plus, you and her are already pretty close friends, so it probably likes you back.)

(thanks)

(Don’t mention it.)

You Two Coming ?

yea wait up toors

This is… probably going to take a long time so I’ll stop writing here now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

i’m giving 9-year-old (past) me the PomPom x Mammott content she wanted 😇

-Mod Jimmy 🗣️

[nlerb]

I'm moving different. This shit ain’t nothing to me man. I'm a dog I’m biting the fart bubbles in the bath. We smoking symbiotes. Smoking that whoopi goldberg south egyptian furburger deluxe mega millions scratcher skunk bubba kush. We smoking dung beetle. I’m on 12 vicodin smoking on scooby doo dick. we smoking sequoia banshee boogers. We snorting that good buffalo soldier tamarin jordanian jibbies.  They must have amnesia they forgot that I’m him. That burberry backwoods pack hitting that pussy smell like a hellcat V8. We smoking shit in a glass pipe blowing the lord's bubbles. Im sick in the head. I'm on them broward county tic tacs. I'm on them georgetown geronimoes. I'm on them Nashville nibblers. I left my margielas in the Benz truck, I'll have to stunt on them next time. I dont give a fuck if I go blind, I dont need to see the price tag anyway. I'm high on 12 jason bournes looking to beat the cum out of a thick fresh oak. We smoking filtered crack you stupid piece of shit. I’ll fucking kill you. Call that pussy the matrix cus I’m in this bitch and I can’t get out. Last guy who ran off on the pack got choked out by some givenchy gloves. The last thing he ever saw was the price tag on them. Slowly faded into darkness and I let the archangels take him. I need more sequoia banshee boogers. Don't be shy girl i love me some pastrami mud flaps. Im moving like french montana. Haan! Welcome to the cream kingdom bitch. Open up. Blac Chyna i'd drink her piss out of another man’s balls. My shooter a crackhead he look like woody harrelson. You ain't seen ten bands in your life chet. Reach for my neck you’ll get turned into an example. Yall gotta stop  playing with me man. I threw diamonds in the strip clubs under the great pyramids. I pushed the camel through the eye of a needle. Shit aint nothing to me man. Tied the opps to the back of a trackhawk and dragged him around the block for 24 hours. Mother fucker looked  like a resident evil 5 campaign extra after we got done with him. Opps wanted some initiative so we blew up their entire quadrant. Im moving like oppenheimer. She dropped that ass on me from a egregarious angle, they thought  i was Steven Wallace. Top shelf zaza disrupted my circadian rhythm. I have seen the magna carta. I have seen the eye of hora. I was flipping bricks for mansa musa before yall even became a type 1 civilization. This shit aint nothing to me you stupid piece of shit. Step the wrong way and you will perish. That pussy feels like biscoff butter. You think I care about this shit? Ask me if I care about this shit. I dont give a shit. If i had a dollar for every time they said i gave a shit id be broke cuz i dont give a shit. My bitch look like david hasselhoff. I balled so hard they thought i was a fuckin nut sack. This shit aint nothing to me man i'll kill you you stupid piece of shit

[hopecountyisforlovers]

the fact that there are people in the tag saying izzy deserved this, that it had to happen, that he couldnt exist anymore in the narrative as it was going- you people are christing braindead. i mean it. youre all so fucking stupid. you are all literally so fucking stupid like i cant even put into words how stupid you are. outside of my own personal rage and upset over this (because i love him) this was a bad fucking writing decision. im not gonna say it was bury your gays or whatever bc i actually know what that means and this wasnt it. but holy fucking shit was it rushed, and sloppy, and just fucking unnecessary. everyone else gets to move on and grow and keep going. and the way they just kept going with the fucking episode after. woop de doo lucius got fucking married . woop de doo ed and stede bought a shitty inn. who actually cares. its not funny or cute to say "well thats that then. izzy sucked actually hardy hardy har but really what a guy" and then just keep fucking going. its an insult to everyone who cared about his fucking character. its an insult to the character they portrayed him to be. i dont think i should have to explain why "izzy cant be his own functioning person and live without specifically blackbeard and thats okay, actually, and he should never have to work on that he should just die instead so that blackbeard can die" is the most ice cold take imaginable and its clear some of yall never got over how much you hated him for no fucking reason and saw him (incorrectly) as an antagonist in this story

just when i thought nothing this year would have a worse more pointlessly emotionally devastating finally than wwdits here comes ofmd with the steel chair

[spaceyflowers]

stuff about latest lookism chapters (390-398)

ok i finally caught up. originally i was just planning to read along with the webtoon but its kinda behind from the latest updates and i am.. so tired of trying to avoid spoilers 😭😭😭

here are some thoughts i wanna say !

-magami is my poor little meow meow and i love him with all my heart (more thoughts on him here <3)

-doo's character development 💪 his bromance with ryuhei was pretty sweet too <3

-i thought yall were joking when yall said ryuhei's backstory for liking mitsuki was "my dick dont work but when youre around it does [lip bite]" but it was real. holy shit.

-his romance with mitsuki was ok btw. im glad it was somewhat expanded outside of "you make my dick not broken ❤️" but i still dont think he had enough of a reason to like mitsuki so much he'd lay his life down for her. all he liked were little surface level details about her ?? 😭 ("she smiles at even little things you do for her" ok bro..)

-but idk maybe surface level attraction is all he needs to feel ready to do Anything for someone which is... just sad. either way he and mitsuki should not become a couple 💀

-w.... why is cap guy obsessed with strong guys

-i hate tom lee. seriously. i dont want to see anymore of him and his creepy ass "danglers" thing.

-BIG DEAL IS HAPPY AND REUNITED EXCEPT FOR SAMUEL AAGGGRRHGHGG 💔💔💔💔💔💔

-SO HAPPY FOR WARREN AND SALLY <33

-PTJ WHEN WILL CHEONGLIANG ARC COME OUT I WANT TO SEE VIN JIN AND MARY'S BACKSTORIES AND HAVE MC PESITCIDES BE RELEVANT AGAIN. ALSO FINDING OUT WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED WITH THE MURDER VIN JIN APPARENTLY COMMITTED

-i just want more family agendas to sob over ok. cheongliang fam looks like a tragedy story i want to know what happened

-gun is such a freak <3 and i still wonder what the hell went thru his mind when he put on that hideous fit

-i pray for little and big daniel's survivals from their own personal hells

-also praying for zack and whatever the hell he's gonna go thru with that "crazy monk" 😭 ??? i also really hope this is the last act in his inferiority complex character arc thing bc i feel like it's been dragging on for too long 💔

-for zack's part, too; was absolutely wild seeing characters (cho ma and daegong ji) we havent seen since lookism was actually about lookism and not gang wars lmao

-what did eugene mean by hes gonna bring xiaolung back. my mans got his legs broken by jake. whatre yall gonna do, give him some batshit leg surgery to fix him up????? (im pretty sure its implied jake broke his legs beyond repair ?? or like. are u telling me a few months have passed and xiaolung is perfectly healed and ready to fight ?)

-jinyoung is a freak but him crying over that flashback with him and gapryong arm wrestling as they had fun bantering... i guess they did have a genuine bromance? what were gapryong's goals exactly?

-wonder how the mystery (?) with gapryong's death and jake's older bro is gonna all unfold

-lua im is ...... something! (more thoughts on my post about her here)

-i still hate johan's new haircut

-ALSO I HOPE ELI AND HOSTEL/RUNAWAY FAM STAY SAFE...... cool to see manager kim again tho 😭

afterthoughts

-will crystal be relevant anytime soon. what about her two bodies.

-i still miss jay 😭 his dad is way more involved than him???? youd think maybe jay would be more involved, too, then, but nope hes just gonna stay queer bait ig... no hope for ptj but i still wish jay got to do more with the story than be devoted to daniel bc he has an interesting design/vague backstory to be expanded upon and his dad is literally someone the main character daniel is teaming up with to take down the antagonist like ????!

-sobs.... j high gang... i miss the girls and burn knuckles 💔

-i dont know how to feel about daniel's current character arc. i understand his feelings but i honestly dislike seeing characters say "i dont want to depend on people anymore so im gonna get stronger on my own" 😭😭😭 like sure, hun, but dont leave all your friends behind to go ask an insane person like gun for help ?!

[puff-world]

I'm gonna rank every skylander and ripoff @jelloapocalypse

This will not be based in gameplay but design because fuck that noise any how les go

PART 1: MAGIC

Wrecking ball: [insert dead joke] -6

Voodood: dood you are like totally forgettable 3

Spyro: [insert joke about his face] 6

Double trouble: despite being forgettable, you survived -6

Pop fizz: he drinks mountain dew, truley a gamer 7

Ninjini: ok your fucking cool 8

Trap shadow: who 1

Star strike: yall remember those egg theives from spyro? 7

Hoot loop: CRAZY ASS -8

Dune bug: my apologies to trap shadow, who are you? -1

Enigma: you look like a wow boss 9

Deja vu: cute pigtails lazy name 5

Cobra cadabra: COBRA COBRAAA 7

Blastermind: kaos what are you doing here 4

Splat: dranie bob Ross 6

Pain-yatta: how are you magic dude: 7

Mysticat: eh 1

Buck shot: and eh 0

Over all score: 5

PART 2: UNDEAD

Hex: who's goth gf is this? 7

Ghost roaster: why did they scrap you? 7

Cynder: why are you here? 6

Chop chop: he has a bone to pick with you 7

Freight rider: you look like a common enemy 5

Eye brawl: ok ngl really fucking sick -9

Roller brawl: my bad this is the goth gf 5

Rattle snake: yall ever watch rango? 7

Night shift: I dont get it 7

Grim creeper: dopey but cute -6

Short cut: hesh gonna gecha! -7

Krypt king: chop chops top boyfriend 8

Funny bone: play dead! -6

Bat spin: bleh both literally and figuratively 4

Fiesta: drip 9

Wolf gang: London 8

Pit boss: this sssssucks 3

Chopscotch: your pun name is your saving grace or grave -1

Over all score: 8

PART 3: LIFE

Zook: [insert soldier tf2 quotes] -5

Stump smash: neat -7

Stealth elf: porn bait 6

Camo: you're not very camouflaged 4

Tree rex: man going hard 9

Shroom: mama mia -7

Zoo lou: uhm 3

Stink bomb: gross 5

Grilla drilla: isnt a drill counter active to the eco friendly drip 5

Bumble blast: [buck bumble theme] -7

Tuff luck: furry bait 4

High five: hesa pupper 7

Food fight: trigger happy rip off 5

Bushwhack: whack off! Wait? 3

DONKEY KONG: DONKEY KONG 9

Thrillipede: he gives a 1000% 8

Crash bandicoot: WOAH 9

Chompy mage: dr livesly walk 9

Boom bloom: coolio 7

Ambush: not expected 7

Over all score: -7

PART 4: FIRE

Sunburn: sqwaaaaa 6

Ignitor: kinda lit 7

Flame slinger: the writers were blind making him 4

Eruptor: I finna puke, in a good way 7

Hot head: kinda dopey but also really neat 6

Hot dog: stop drop and roll over: -5

Smolderdash: yall watch moana 8

Fryno: I'm kimda loving it -6

Fire kraken: he so dopey I love him -7

Blast zone: ignitors top boyfriend wait didnt I make this joke already 7

Wildfire: anduin if he liked fire 7

Trail blazer: my little arson 7

Torch: she hot literally 7

Ka boom: compensating much 7

Spitfire: lit but not in the good way 5

Bowser: look up @were-Ralph 9

Tae kwon crow: is this a fried chicken joke? 5

Flare wolf: furry bait 5

Ember: she was better in danny phantom 7

Over all: 7

PART 5: WATER

Zap: alotta spyro ripoffs 6

Wham shell: dont look at me with those big ol eyes 6

Slam bam: for being so chilled hes kinda hot 8

Gill grunt: this man goes hard 9

Thumpback: thumpback mountain 9

Chill: not really cool tho 7

Swash buckler: disney lawsuit 9

RIP tide: here comes the crimson chin -7

Punk shock: kinda cool kinda forgettable 5

Freeze blade: "I like your cut g" 7

Snap shot: yall play pokemon 7

Lob star: is mayonnaise an instrument 5

Flip wreck: [vulgar dolphin noises] 4

Echo: zap became a goth gf 6

Dive clops: scooby doo vibes 7

Tidepool: meh 5

King pen: 7

Grave clobber: excuse me what 0

Over all: 7

PART 6: EARTH

Terra fin: did he get fatter over time 8

Prism break: the pun was under utilized 8

Dino rang: picks up phone* "what's your favorite dinosaur" 7

Bash: awww rock pupper 8

Flash wing: theres the spyro rip off 5

Crusher: blag blag blah prism breaks top boyfriend 8

Slobber tooth: a pale imitation of bash 6

Scorp: sorry I'm a scorpio -6

Rubble rouser: uga uga -7

Doom stone: sorry but naw 4

Wallop: furry bait 5

Rocky roll: a lil guy 8

Head rush: I want her to kick my ass 9

Fist bump: hows it going bros its [insert n bomb] 4

Smash hit: yall watch ice age 3? 6

Tritip: pick up the phone a lil kid wants to talk dinosaurs 5

Golden queen: yasss queen 8

Barbella: once again hit me 8

Over all: 8

PART 7: AIR

Whirlwind: spyro ripoff again 4

Warnado: I like turtles 7

Sonic boom: good show 6

Lighting rod: move that cloud so I can see that lighting rod: 7

Swarm: buck bumble literally 8

Jetvac: kirby still better 7

Scratch: again 4

Pop thorn: oh hey it's that balloon I lost -7

Free range: I thought it was a piss joke

Boom jet: human??? 6

Thunder bolt: lighting rods less slutty brother

Gusto: oh my 6

Flip kong: MONKEY!!!! also Nintendo lawsuit

Storm blade: she so pretty 8

Wild storm: I dont get it 4

Bad juju: why are you here? 0

Air strike: bird shit every where -6

Over all: 6

PART 8: TECH

Trigger happy: he has a gun -8

Drobot: another one 4

Drill sergeant: show me your war face 7

Boomer: pfft 7

Sproket: kenzie from saints row 8

Bouncer: DR LIVESLY IS ALIVE AND HE IS AN IRON GINAT RIPOFF 10

Wind up: hit him so hell shut up -8

Spy rise: [sam Fisher voice] 8

Magna charge: yoooooooo 9

Countdown: soccer fans be like -6

Tread head: how do you drive that -5

Jawbreaker: he looks like an orc made him 9

Gear shift: robo waifu 7

Chopper: dinosaurs!!!! -7

High volt: he has a little blue line flag on his car 5

Robow: ok this goes hard 9

Dr neo cortex: jaundice 9

Dr krankcase: gangrene 9

Chain reaction: robo viking 10

Over all: 9

PART 9: LIGHT

Spotlight: must I say it 7

Knight light: palidins be like 6

Astroblaster: the only space themed skylander 8

Blaster tron: what's light about you? 0

Aurora: at this time of day in this part of the country 8

Over all: 7

PART 10: DARK

Knightmare: death knights be like 9

Black out: despite being a spyro clone hes really cool 9

Night fall: Lovecraftian ass 9

Starcast: slam bams emo cousin 7

Hoodsickle: you should be undead 0

Over all: 9

PART 11: KAOS & OTHERS

Kaos: DESTROY US ALL DESTROY US ALL DESTROY US ALL 10

Cyclops snail: theres a reason he was scrapped -10

Over all: 10

PART 12: RANKING TOP 10 AND WORST

10. Cyclops snail

9. Eye brawl

8. Head rush

7. Jaw breaker

6. Chompy mage

5. Fiesta

4. Black out

3. Kaos

2. Chain reaction

1. Bouncer

THE WORST: buckshot

PART 13: thoughts over all

So..after ranking every skylander, no I will not do enemies or trapped bosses, I can kinda get a method with them

Magic are based on religions and the arcane

Undead are often dead or malicious

Life are based on flora and fauna

Fire are based on fire, magma, and explosives

Water are based on ice and marine life

Earth are based on rocks and Crystal's with a few rough boys

Air is based on flight, avians or weather

Tech is based on machinery, metal and demolition and man made things

Light is based on holy and benevolent forces

Dark is based conversely on lovecraftian and malicious things

I originally intended on looking at all scrapped skylanders too but I realized there were too many so I only covered the one that was most well known scrapped skylanders

I also noticed some of the sensei's in imaginators were really independent of their element

And another thing was that some skylanders were dropped. In the original generation they had 4 skylanders and then replaced one for giants then again for swap force but the ones they keeped were given ultimate versions that sometimes looked wholly different and then in superchargers some where brought back again ang given new armor.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this look into skylanders history thank you and have a nice day

[thoschei-rights]

Season 12 but The Master kept pretending to be O??

Basically self-indulgent Thoschei with a twist.

lots of typos bc?? i aint got time to go correct stuff yet? I will later?? 

So Spyfall is resolved, The Kasaavin are banished back to their realm and the Fam and Doctor are clueless as to the true mastermind, Barton taking the fall while the Master continues to pose ad O, having decided he’s enjoying the game of tricking her too much.

Perhaps among their texts they’ve grown close, or perhaps the brief time together in the outback led to events?? ;) But either way, he changes his mind mid plan and continues to act human.

Since he never leaves the message or has the confrontation in Paris, the doctor remains unaware of Gallifrey’s destruction. The fam wait off on asking their questions since she isn’t off with them.

Orphan 55 happens, and while the fam go do their shit, O stays with the Doctor bc admit it, she was like oh ;-; when everyone went to explore. My poor baby. So they hang out together before everything goes to shit, how cute?? Things get resolved, but with the revelation of one of earth’s potential fates, and the potential that the doctor lied about knowing, the fam decide to ask to know more about her. She shares what she believes its true at the time, being born on gallifrey and being a timelord, O looms in the background looking awkward bc he knows none of that is true and he feels horrible keeping the truth from her, it makes him as bad as the rest of the time lords- but he is selfish and he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing, he’s started to really enjoy her company, its everything he’s ever wanted, every star.

And then it’s ruined when Yaz asks to see her own planet. Blissfully unaware of its destruction, she takes them, and so they’re right there with her when she sees, opens the doors to the rubble, the dying flames- and oh god. The fam are horrified, she’s horrified, O has to fake it, while being utterly glad those nasties are dead- maybe he gets to sneakily comfort hug her??? like she’s trying not to tear up even after that whole shit show of the confession dial, it was her home??so yeah he’s like hugging her but he’s so angry bc they dont deserve her tears?? 

The doctor is off after that, and the fam know why, and none of their words of comfort do much, because sure they’ve just witnessed the death of earth too but that is just one timeline, can be completely avoided, while gallifrey is gone forever, and she believes she’s once more the last of her kind. it hurts.

they visit tesla all the same, and when that big ass scorpion looking alien (bc im sorry i didnt like the episode and i’ve forgotten her name so....) mentions dead planets, she can feel the fam stiffen, as though the doctor is gonna blow at any minute, but she keeps calm, tries to bury the rage, but O can tell, can tell by the way her arms shake, hands clenched into fists in her pockets- and it hurts him to see her like this- the longer he spends around her, pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s just realizing more and more what a dumbass he is and that he’s still as in love with her now than he was all those years ago in the academy- none of the truth will change that-

and then boom the shit show with the judoon occurs and suddenly O is confused af because that Lee guy could ONLY have been him. Who else on gallifrey was stupid enough to hide out with the doctor, marry them and die for them?? him because he’s a dumbass? but he’s a dumbass who definitely doesnt remember this memories?? which theoretically in the doctors timeline should have been sometime after the division? or during? he’s not sure? but to his knowledge he shouldn’t have been alive at this stage? and now he’s not sure what the fuck HIS own life is too? did they take his memories from him too? has he lost part of his life? suddenly the truth doesnt seem as known as he thought- so while the doctor is reeling from the information of Ruth being her somehow? O is having his own mental crisis because what the fuck did they do to him too? what is he missing?? 

praxeus continues as similar as it did originally, O is only the tiniest impressed at Yaz, ever since Spyfall he’d sensed she was the human with the most potential to not be utterly worthless so he’s glad at least one of the doctors latest pets seems to have some initiative?? but yeah i dont wanna change much about praxeus? its not important- except the doctor saying she’s a romantic and the master wants that? wait what- he’s conflicted about his own thoughts? he wanted to break her, destroy her with the truth? but he also just wants to wrap her in his arms? make everything as okay as he can? what the fuck is even happening with him? jsut your usual ‘im a mess’ vibes lmao

when can you hear me? rolls around, it happens in a similar way, i dont wanna get to into it because i dont wanna think too much...the episode was weird, it was just weird-- i cant?? although maybe bc that zellin and the lady whose name i forgot...but they were immortal right?? maybe their species is the doctors species?? huh? huh? think about that- but don’t think too hard bc i hate that theory and i’m gonna pretend i never had that thought- lets just ignore can you hear me even though the end made me cry for yaz bc lol relatable sis, relatable. do whatever you want for this bit fam, idc.

Anyyyyyway. the bit I’m waiting for... Villa Diodati ;) O is ready to smack Byron round the face, fingers itching towards the tce everytime he tries to flirt with the doctor. the lone cyberman appears and wopdie doo earth is going to be destroyed and the doctor is about to do something stupid, thinking there is no other way? the master is like um lol change of plans i dont want the cybermen to win, look how in pain my baby theta is?? i gotta help?? oof? and idk, his patience is like nope all gone? and he whips out his TCE on the lone cyberman and boom. crisis averted? except now the doctor is looking at him in horror and shock and- she realizes who he is then and there, and normally he’d made a big drama out of his, throw in some words, a speech about how easy it was to deceive her, how he destroyed gallifrey- about how he was under her nose this whole time- but he doesn’t, instead he meets her gaze and can barely manage to whisper an “im sorry” and wow shit i wasn’t gonna write that version, i was gonna have feral confrontation but now im stanning a sad master who just needs a hug and some therapy because nothing makes sense, he thought he had everything figured out but he doesnt and he just wANTS HIS FRIEND BACK uiferkghlujkfaghjfkgladhfajkg; i m fine 

i dont know what i wanna do after this point? it could go a lot of different ways?? but thoschei rights bitches. could go angst confrontation and then she abandons him in whatever century that was set bc wow i studied frankenstein in school but i couldnt tell you what century the author is from bc im dumb? 18th? maybe idk that seems likely? or 19th? but anyway yeah or maybe she’s just relieved someone else is alive? or is she shouting for answers or?? i dunno.... but woop ??? 

wow this turned into a big mess but hopefully you can kinda see where i wanna head with things? after this he’d probably show her the truth? i dunno how that’d go down, but he’d be there with her?? But anyway, this idea is free for anyone to write, but holla us a link and I'll give yall a free promo at the end of this post!!

Versions of this that yall Lovelies have blessed us with:

[d-criss-news]

Royalties Soundtrack Listening Event | Darren Criss Chat (July 7th, 2020)

Darren Criss 18:02:04

wait ha

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Darren Criss 18:02:08

sorry yall

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Darren Criss 18:02:12

this is confusing me of course

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Darren Criss 18:02:29

this is new for me too friends

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Darren Criss 18:02:45

well i'm here but I can't hear shit so gimme a sec

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Darren Criss 18:04:00

well I'll just keep typing here guys

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Darren Criss 18:04:04

bro

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Darren Criss 18:04:07

wilma

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Darren Criss 18:04:15

i'm tryin

Darren Criss 18:04:57

21kxuv372ubcprrbpiefadt6i

What was your favorite song to write for the show?

They each were really fun so that's hard to say but Hate That I Need You surprised the hell outta me

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Darren Criss 18:05:30

bettic72

darren non capisco un cazzo

anchio pero sti cazzi siamo qui

Darren Criss 18:05:49

genevievephillips

point and laugh at darren

yes let's laugh at him

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Darren Criss 18:06:18

2162bkuccm7xje6yfgmuzrnyq

You inspired me to write my own songs 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

thanks for writing the first positive thing I've seen on this. That's wonderful! I hope to hear them!

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Darren Criss 18:06:43

clo :)

i love that we are all grandparents when it comes to this

thank you for using the appropriate WE pronouns ha yeah this shit is confusing

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Darren Criss 18:08:44

zcvmtsgee5mom80oxeesa4v11

Darren how do you deal with stage fright .... i’ve been preforming in front of people for a while and i i still get scared . Does it ever go away ?

i guess it depends on how big the crowd is. everybody's different but I will say any kind of fright means you care, which is a good thing! Also the thing people forget about performing, for the most part, is you can't SEE the audience, most of the time they're in the dark. That's why performing for friends or in a small space where you can see everyone is much more nerve-racking

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Darren Criss 18:08:57

Dana

Darren can we have a royalties tour once rona is over???

wouldn't that be fun!

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Darren Criss 18:09:15

emilybutcher30

darren can you start streaming on twitch please haha i love you

ha can't compete with King Urie man

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Darren Criss 18:10:06

jake2000w

Darren, I know it’s all weird right now, but do you have any idea when we might see Nerdy Prudes Must Die?

what a good question. I have no idea but I've been wanting to see that show for almost as long as I've wanted to make Royalties. The boys have been talking about that one for a while now.

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Darren Criss 18:10:16

jesiqseigle56

Can you like respond .

like yeah

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Darren Criss 18:10:27

abbyforsmark

has Darren even said anything on this?

nope nothing

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Darren Criss 18:12:39

u6iczx4gua0att2g4kd2vdzwe

Did you write each of the songs with the performers in mind or did you cast them afterwards?

great question. Except for "Also You," which was written with Jackie Tohn for Jackie Tohn, we had no idea who would sing each song. I did the demos for almost all of them and then we had to pitch actors/artists to see if they'd be interested... which wasn't as hard (luckily) as seeing if they were AVAILABLE... which many weren't given the short time we had to make the show. Hopefully we can get some of those folks on for the next season IF THEY'LL LET US HAVE ONE!

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Darren Criss 18:13:52

delfi

darren royalties is so good i'm fucking proud of you

thanks for watching it, truly. I know the Quibi thing is strange for people so I appreciate you giving it all a chance : )

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Darren Criss 18:14:04

Caitlyn A :)

if you see this kick your shoes off

I would but no shoes

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Darren Criss 18:14:27

t59glm18dkw84n64l72jcuvpc

come to the uk challenge

god i wish.

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Darren Criss 18:15:39

damn someone said "travel to UK challenge" and I meant to respond "find a vaccine challenge"

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Darren Criss 18:17:08

i can't hear any of these songs but I"m just gonna start saying random shit about them

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Darren Criss 18:17:16

first off, i really wanted a theme song

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Darren Criss 18:17:23

that was a whole thing

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Darren Criss 18:19:18

Had to cut through a lot of red tape to make sure we had that silly song in there. We were already in the middle of post production when I finally got it approved, but it had to be under 15 seconds. I wrote 3 diff versions. So glad it ended up working. Theme songs accomplish so much in such a short period of time. Establishes tone. Gives the audience an almost Pavlovian response to the familiarity of the characters... I'm happy with it

—

Darren Criss 18:20:12

also the "doo doo doo" lyrics are meant to sound like "scratch vocals" when songwriters record vocals with temporary gibberish lyrics with the intent of filling them in with real ones later

—

Darren Criss 18:22:29

Just That Good was a concept that started the entire 1st season, and it was one of those instant-songs where Nick and Matt told me the title and I immediately had the hook just from those words. That only happens every once in a while and I was so happy it did for that song. The tricky part was writing the rest of it, but the back half of the song with the chorus repeating that one refrain over and over- that was the melody from the get go

—

Darren Criss 18:23:08

I'll get back to Break it In, kick your shoes/let your hair, and kong later... i'll just go off on this one

—

Darren Criss 18:23:48

so I wanted to nod to the grandeur of everyone's favorite vampire elf, Jared Leto

—

Darren Criss 18:24:05

not HIM specifically, but 30 seconds to mars' very BIG music videos

—

Darren Criss 18:24:29

i dont jared is a buncha self centered nutcases like our guys in SWITCHBACK JACKET

—

Darren Criss 18:24:37

* i don't think Jared... 

—

Darren Criss 18:25:38

anyway yeah "so much better..." comes from a lot of the 90s alt rock that I grew up on, and the mix of that sound with a bit of electronic production was an effort to contemportize it as much as possible

—

Darren Criss 18:26:26

but the rhythm guitar, lots of power chords and high octaves were all harkening to my fave bands like Lit and Eve 6... but put through a strange bizzaro nickleback/creed performance filter

—

Darren Criss 18:26:55

"make you come true" is obviously a very salacious play on words

—

Darren Criss 18:28:27

so the only way to make it feel earnest is if we made the track itself sexy as possible. A lot of the songs, even without being written, leant themselves to a certain genre just by the title, and this one was kind of a no-brainer. Sexy mid tempo r&b. And I didn't even know we'd get Jordan Fisher to do it- who SMASHED the vocal.

—

Darren Criss 18:29:42

lauraacampbell-12

DARREN CHORDS OR LYRICS FIRST WHEN WRITING A SONG?

it's different every time but for this show specifically it's always title/idea first, and then the song comes from there. But that's because we're writing a show, so we have the luxury of getting to write from a specific place. It's much harder to do that in your own life when you just want to pull a title/idea from your own experience of life. I commend people that do that all the time.

—

Darren Criss 18:30:06

what's NUTS about prizefighter is...

—

Darren Criss 18:30:24

it was originally a song called LONG RANGER that BONNIE MCKEE sang, who I wrote the song with

—

Darren Criss 18:30:38

and in the video we had CHRISSY TIEGEN lipsynching

—

Darren Criss 18:30:44

it was bananas

—

Darren Criss 18:31:26

we ultimately couldn't use the song because of some complicated writers shit- not too dissimilar from the things we explore in our own show, which is just totally ironic.

—

Darren Criss 18:32:56

we were so bummed that we couldn't use the song but I'm actually really really happy with PRIZEFIGHTER. I love the song, and I love how it turned out production wise. I love how much of a massive influence latin x rhythms have had across the entire spectrum of mainstream music, so I wanted try my own hand at nodding to it!

—

Darren Criss 18:33:08

Lara :)!

Ahhhhh so was that the pilot song you were talking about last week?

that's the one

—

Darren Criss 18:33:45

hbz3jctrg5rwwma640hahffvt

You have inspired me to learn piano I already know how to play teanage dream now

you can thank Bonnie Mckee aka Kimmy Kelly for writing that song!

—

Darren Criss 18:34:01

ok then there's the k pop song

—

Darren Criss 18:34:08

honestly i had no idea where I was gonna start on this one

—

Darren Criss 18:34:22

full props to the brilliant CJ Baran who I wrote this song with

—

Darren Criss 18:34:39

we were just toying around with very industrial-sounding samples

—

Darren Criss 18:35:21

and I started singing Edvard Grieg's "in the hall of the mountain king"

—

Darren Criss 18:35:33

and he was the guy that was like YEAH JUST PUT IT IN THERE

—

Darren Criss 18:35:46

and i realized, oh yeah, that song is public domain

—

Darren Criss 18:35:59

and kinda ties perfectly to the nature of Elia Peck and his songwriting... huh.

—

Darren Criss 18:36:05

So we went for it from there.

—

Darren Criss 18:36:17

based the lyrics off of what the Neals say in the room.

—

Darren Criss 18:36:34

and then just wrote a bunch of ALMOST nonense lyrics about things that you could HATE that you NEED

—

Darren Criss 18:36:40

things like available wifi...

—

Darren Criss 18:37:01

artistinal mai-tais.... yeah I guess if you really really liked those you could HATE that you NEED them...

—

Darren Criss 18:37:04

etc etc

—

Darren Criss18:38:16

but the idea was to have Mariam Hale's character hardly do ANYTHING on the track, since she, as the audience sees, doesn't really have much to offer... so we just built it around this huge track with crazy lyrics that just tees up a tag for her to say without even having to sing: I HATE THAT I NEED YOU

—

Darren Criss18:38:43

2235n5s2qk5hjsujbhk5ilpva

I have classes in 10 minutes, and I'm not leaving until you dedicate a Royalties song to me.

looks like you're gonna miss calss

—

Darren Criss 18:39:09

"calss" ha. which is like "class" but like... different.

—

Darren Criss 18:39:32

alrighty PERFECT SONG

—

Darren Criss 18:39:38

i really love this song as well

—

Darren Criss 18:40:02

the reveal of this song is that they keep talking about this "perfect song" they've written

—

Darren Criss 18:40:26

in other words we're teeing up a pretty big expectation of what a perfect song could possibly sound like

—

Darren Criss 18:40:36

the reveal of course is that the song itself is in fact just called "perfect song"

—

Darren Criss 18:40:43

which is ABOUT a perfect song

—

Darren Criss 18:41:07

and about TRYING TO WRITE a perfect song, and how that's not necessary when you have someone that IS the perfect song

—

Darren Criss 18:41:20

when we wrapped our heads around that idea, I really loved it 

—

Darren Criss 18:42:10

you'll notice we reference a lot of incredible songs, almost citing them as perfect songs themselves

—

Darren Criss 18:42:14

ain't no mountain high enough

—

Darren Criss 18:42:55

of course leonard cohen's seminal Hallelujah

—

Darren Criss 18:44:05

and of course Britney's Oops I Did It Again ha ;)

—

Darren Criss 18:45:00

the Oops being a layered joke of being annoyed with oneself that they AGAIN unwittingly wrote a lyric for already massive song, but in doing so citing yet ANOTHER already massive song... if that makes any sense

—

Darren Criss 18:45:27

sorry for the typos yall i'm moving fast, i'd never let this shit slide if it wasn't a casual chatroom vibe

—

Darren Criss 18:46:37

emzlolly1234

Did you know you wanted there to be a romantic thing between pierce and Sara?? :))))

yes that was actually our original "pilot presentation" episode. the one with the song LONE RANGER and Chrissy Tiegen. It was a longer version of what would become episode 7. We THINK it's a romantic thing but you realize that Sara is just playing Pierce to get the song she needs. That was always the premise yes.

—

Darren Criss 18:46:51

luzmargotramos

if you reply with a single dot I'd probably die

then I better steer clear of any dots

—

Darren Criss 18:47:04

ALSO YOU was an amazing lightning in a bottle moment

—

Darren Criss 18:47:09

FULL CREDIT TO JACKIE TOHN

—

Darren Criss 18:47:22

i always enjoy giving credit where credit is due

—

Darren Criss 18:48:24

and I came in pretty hot for most of the songs- concepts, chords, style... but this one literally was a simple as Jackie Sitting down and just playing "It's you I love but also you and also you and also you."

—

Darren Criss 18:48:37

we all just looked at each other going, welp, yup, that's it, jackie you fuckin rule

—

Darren Criss 18:49:28

the song would have ended up very differently if she hadn't brought that to the table. the original episode and song was "one true loves" which isn't nearly as good of a gag/title as "also you"

—

Darren Criss 18:49:50

i ended up squeezing "one true loves" into the bridge, but of course, kept ALSO YOU as the main event

—

Darren Criss 18:50:02

i will say I was also trying to spoof my brother's old band, FREELANCE WHALES a little bit

—

Darren Criss 18:50:26

if you guys know the song "generator first floor" where they sing ay ay ay ay ay a lot...

—

Darren Criss 18:50:35

... as a lot of bands and songs had featured at the time...

—

Darren Criss 18:51:00

i wanted to put them all in one joke. where a band sang not only hey hey hey but ay and EE and AYE and OH and basically all the vowels

—

Darren Criss 18:51:10

which was where the joke of,

—

Darren Criss 18:51:20

a, e, i, o, and also u

—

Darren Criss 18:51:21

came from

—

Darren Criss 18:51:32

which i'm particularly proud of

—

Darren Criss 18:51:56

ok let's talk about BREAK IT IN

—

Darren Criss 18:54:16

lxucxthxrxnx_

I’m a musician myself (not that great lol) what was it like coming up with the melodic side did you play any instruments for the songs?

i played instruments on all the songs except Break It In and I Hate That I Need You, since those were all electronic. That's not to say i played EVERY instrument but I definitely played AN instrument of some kind for the others.

—

Darren Criss 18:55:34

as for break it in... anyway... yeah that was a blast. Nick Lang and I collaborated with my buddy Kendo who goes by the artist name KingJet.

—

Darren Criss 18:56:54

Kendo has worked on a lot of legit songs in the hip hop space. For each song I wanted to make sure there was a level of authenticity to what we were doing. I didn't wanna SPOOF the songs. I wanted the songs to sound rock solid and that it would be the LYRICAL CONCEPTS that would be the source of satire. So Kendo was a great guiding light to keep the track as authentic as possible.

—

Darren Criss 18:59:47

We explained to Kendo the whole joke concept of the song, which is basically just turning the idea of toxic masculinity on its head, and he was on top of it immediately- when we told him that there's this guy that's really concerned that people think he "fucks too soft" he immediately started spitting out lyrics like the hilariously defiant "I'm the KING OF THE HARD FUCK"

—

Darren Criss 19:00:35

which just killed me and Nick. It was just so juvenile that it was adorable to me

—

Darren Criss 19:00:57

emzlolly1234

Darren you’ve been here for an hour? That’s the length of royalties man xxx

yeah aint it great

Darren Criss 19:02:21

sophie :)

i personally think you should try your hand at writing a drill song, a british genre of rap that centres around rapping unrelated lyrics in front of chicken shops, personally think it has the right tone for the show for a season two

drill would be siq. I mean, opening the incredible pandora's box of UK based hip hop in general is its own magical wormhole of nuance and history and regional culture. it's amazing. i'd really have to do some homework if I wanted to pull that off!

—

Darren Criss 19:02:49

cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs

he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay

ok sorry i'll stop

—

Darren Criss 19:02:51

:)

—

Darren Criss 19:03:03

cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs

he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay

kidding!

—

Darren Criss 19:03:39

fsheldens

when darren actually cares about us 🥺

awww i always do! I just wasn't built for internet stuff.

—

Darren Criss 19:04:20

alpermehdi

speaking of nick how was it to work with nick??

the best. Nick is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

—

Darren Criss 19:04:51

chloe :)!

what would be ur karaoke song choice from the show?

mighty as kong

—

Darren Criss 19:07:32

isa.kowo

How much music theory goes into your songwriting? And did you learn all of it from playing the violin? In what way does it go into your songs?

all GREAT questions. I mean, music theory isn't something you CONSCIOUSLY employ when writing something, it's just that it really helps to know the rules or music when shaping it and trying to maximize its production. And as a matter of fact, yeah, I DID learn most of it playing violin. But when I was playing violin I was ingesting music from the perspective of a student ingesting information, not as a proactive creator putting anything of my own out into the world.

—

Darren Criss 19:08:07

Honestly I really didn't start UNDERSTANDING music theory until I started writing music for other people, and noticing certain things and chords and shapes had names and that they could be manipulated to accomplish certain things

—

Darren Criss 19:08:35

so most of my academic musical knowledge came in my 20s when I tried to start doing it professionally

—

Darren Criss 19:08:52

Nick

first instrument you ever learnt?

violin

—

Darren Criss 19:09:07

andyruiz080

I'm castin' my love net wide And fillin' every hole in my schedule

ha love that line

—

Darren Criss 19:09:29

missweggy

Darren are you a big queen fan ( the band lol ) 😂

is the pope catholic

—

Darren Criss 19:12:00

ChloeOmelia

Now its available, would you change anything?

jesus so much. but such is the nature of creating stuff. there's a great Hayao Miyazaki quote about always having to make new stuff to escape the woe of all the mistakes you made in your last thing... I mean, that's a bit extreme, I feel like we did the best we could given the circumstance but I totally get where Miyazaki is coming from. And in many ways that's everything we do in life. Do your best, know what you coulda done better and carry on

—

Darren Criss 19:12:36

dj._.quackers

who or what was your biggest inspiration growing up

the beatles. the uk. the 60s.

—

Darren Criss 19:13:02

Astriddd

Your first original song was "Not Alone". I'm right?

no it was actually a song i wrote in the third grade when I got a guitar for Christmas called "Save The Whales"

—

Darren Criss 19:14:29

hiiqsbo9358wvfkcjcsgsu4lb

Darren I need an answer it’s been annoying me for days. So was everyone fucking everyone in Pierces old band or was she just fucking everyone seperately??

ha that's a really great question. I figured she was just fucking everyone individually, which is why the band was so contentious but then again I'd rather let your imagination run wild...

—

Darren Criss 19:15:29

jphxxk5wjnaqnhuv806wmohdt

Darren, I love your taste in music. You should share your personal playlists ... bc everybody needs to know phantom planet 😉

if i actually shared my tastes in music, or actually shared the amount of stuff in my brain at the rate that I want to share, I would never work on or create anything because i would constantly be on the internet and you'd all be over me if you weren't already

—

Darren Criss 19:16:01

But yes, thank you for saying that, I love me my phantom planet oh so very much :)

—

Darren Criss 19:16:18

juli.nuttini

could you please answer me I don't speak English and I'm putting ALL my effort into asking you questions I'm going to cry

wow your english is actually pretty great

—

Darren Criss 19:17:08

I'd like to write a song with Howard Ashman

—

Darren Criss 19:17:23

dancebaby218

Was kick your shoes off inspired by your Hedwig shoes?

nah cuz that shit was actually comfy

—

Darren Criss 19:17:55

12169199549

i skipped my clarinet class because of you for the third time :) what can i say to my teacher?

that Darren says you should have gone to clarinet class!!!

—

Darren Criss 19:18:34

qalektvmexab6gfwibfihwu6b

Could you please answer me. We’ve supported you for years from the uk and we’re staying up for this but it’s totally worth it because you’re amazing!! Molly x

I wish so bad I could go to the UK!

—

Darren Criss 19:20:01

FUCK someone asked about Sam Farrar and I wanted to answer it but it disappeared... Sam is a homie. one of my very first songwriting sessions was with him and a very famous member of the pop universe... who if I get a season two, I'm putting in the show.

—

Darren Criss 19:22:00

9nc1yow3iwnp9p3fs4gcvdnsf

what other instruments would you like to learn in the future?

i just need to spend time trying to get better at the ones I've plateaued with. I feel like I got as good as I'd ever get on the guitar when i was like 19. So I've been trying to get better during the Quarantine. Picked up my violin and dusted off that Vivaldi, started doing drum rudiments on my drum pad, and started learning new licks and scales for guitar. Stuff I never got round to doing.

—

Darren Criss 19:22:27

harefraz

mr. criss sir, what is your top quarantine activity?

playing music

—

Darren Criss 19:23:26

actually lies. top quarantine activity is learning Japanese. 30 minutes a day. And it's been several months. Almost got Hiragana down, still got a few characters I'm questionable with but with any luck I'll start up on Katakana in the next few weeks.

—

Darren Criss 19:23:40

224abi6avvottcsacto7vx46a

What about working with Mark hamill ? Insane right

you said it

—

Darren Criss 19:23:54

t7sxis7855cd329gaa6iyty8v

Any updates on American Buffalo? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

it's opening next year!

—

Darren Criss 19:24:09

for the record this is really fun I'm enjoying this guys

—

Darren Criss 19:26:26

Rachael

How different is it doing a show like Royalties where you're heavily involved in the creative process compared to other projects you've done in the past?

i'd say night and day but that's an understatement. When I did Glee all I had to do was act in scenes, record songs, and go to dance rehearsal. With Royalties, it's that AND casting, doing pre production, post production, notes, meetings, notes, writing and producing songs, location scouting, blah blah blah lots of the stuff that you don't have to worry about if you're not a creator. But make no mistake I absolutely love it.

—

Darren Criss 19:27:41

Aisha

learn spanish

I'll get there. I already speak a bit of Italian so I wanted the challenge of learning something that didn't use a writing system I already understood.

—

Darren Criss 19:28:23

rosieellenxx_

I take Music Technology as a subject at school and we have to make a whole song with the sole sample of glass breaking...

sounds fun. loads of things you can do with that.

—

Darren Criss 19:28:48

21ynx6niidf2amx5nzilihsga

What are your goals for once quarantine is lifted?

hopefully to feel like I used this very strange time well.

—

Darren Criss 19:29:14

Ok I should probabl get outta here right?

—

Darren Criss 19:29:41

I've talked a lot about mighty as kong in other places

—

Darren Criss 19:30:00

so I'll just leave you with a story about "Let Your Hair Down"

—

Darren Criss 19:30:14

which was the very FIRST song we wrote for the show

—

Darren Criss 19:30:37

I had a meeting with an artist at a dive bar in the middle of the afternoon

—

Darren Criss 19:31:10

let's just say I showed up to that very first writer's session very late

—

Darren Criss 19:31:17

and sober ENOUGH

—

Darren Criss 19:31:41

wktusw4mcjn910r3eq91zg4k5

darren did you watch hamilton??????

duh last night. so fun.

—

Darren Criss 19:32:17

anyway I was so relieved that we left with that song at the end of the day. The intent was always to write two songs with the exact same concepts just with different titles

—

Darren Criss 19:32:50

the chords are the same, just slightly different voicings played on slightly different instruments

—

Darren Criss 19:33:29

and the idea was that whichever song was funnier, or at least whichever song would be more fun to see in a music video... would be the one that Pierce & Sara write

—

Darren Criss 19:34:08

"Kick Your Shoes Off" ended up feeling more like a full music video than "Let Your Hair Down" but I LOVE that first song, and hopefully people get to hear the whole thing on Spotify since you don't get to hear the whole song in the episode

—

Darren Criss 19:34:51

with lines I love like "see my cheekbones, show off my clavicle, I bet you've never seen a ponytail to magical..."

—

Darren Criss 19:35:39

emilybutcher30

i love that u spelled it sara not sarah

thank you. if you don't already know it, check out Ben Folds' "Zak and Sara"

—

Darren Criss 19:36:01

OK i gotta get going

—

Darren Criss 19:36:12

but thanks to everyone from all over the world for joining

—

Darren Criss 19:36:17

i see you and i say hi to you!

—

Darren Criss 19:36:23

happy birthday to all the bday kids!

—

Darren Criss 19:36:33

thank you for spending a little bit of your bday with me

—

Darren Criss 19:36:39

thanks for checking out Royalties

—

Darren Criss 19:36:46

hope you enjoy the music

—

Darren Criss 19:36:53

and hope there gets to be a season 2!!!

—

Darren Criss 19:37:08

xo to all of you. stay safe, stay inspired. - Darren

[duvayknox]

DEAR BIG HOMIE

DEAR BIG HOMIE: GOD, mayne. Look heah. Every since U let  dem Horsepital peeples MURDER mah DADDY I began 2 wonder bout YOU like U aint even hear mah PRAYERS 2 KEEP Him heah among the LIving.

I C How U are wich is 2 say U aint SHIT god!!!! 

All mah LIFE I have heard U say thru Yo PREACHERS and TEACHERS dat Wee shood Pray when we really NEED Sumpen and dat U wood NOT only HEAR butt ANSWER Us.

Butt mebbe its jes MEE cuz U aint hear shit or mebbe U DID butt U ackted like U aint Hear Mee. Ion kno if U was trippin on sumpen mee n Ya Boy LUKE had got 2getha and did when wee  whupped dat Nigga FRED ass in da PARK.

Butt Hee brought dat on his self 4 fuckin wit Mah MAMA lil FOOD GARDEN shee been tryna keep goin 4 her TOMATOES/POTATO/CUCUMBERS/SQUASH n whutnot.

And shee tole mee she had been praying too dat U wood keep dem lil bad ass kids of Miss Johnson nem dat live down da Street off her shit. Anyway I did 90 days in LOCK-UP fo dat shit so I had thawt dat was settled.

So I KNO u aint holding dat against Mee?! Lease I ane think so.

Butt ion kno bout U no mo.

Seem like u been on one er since dat day. U ack like wee aint kool no mo.

And up til U fucked round and aint sho up when mah Daddy died u was like THE BIG HOMIE 2 mee. I C how U is.

Jes when a Nigga NEED You'U BAIL.

B4 This nobody cooda tole mee SHIT bout You. Cuz I bleeved in U when nobody else did or wood. Cuz I FUCKED wit U like dat is whut I tole dem Niggaz.

Muthafuckaz thawt I was krazy doe.

Butt I aint give not ONE Fuck bout WHUT nobody THAWT cuz I knew U was REAL widdit.

Now Im da FOO. U done left mee holding da BAG like a STOOPID muthafucka.

I aint never been da type-a-Nigga to be da BAG HOLDER 4 NOBODY. That aint how I gits down.

YET dats ezackly how U set mee up.

Afta all da BRAGGIN I was dooing on U this how U doo mee!! Ya Nigga?!

Now Niggaz astin mee all kinda QUESTIONS now n shit bout YOU n whutnot dat I dont wanna answer. Fo Real.

Ion Blame nobody butt mee cuz I shooda known U wood pull sum shit like this frum dat time I ast U 4-a-Bike way bak when I was a SHAWTY and it never showed up.

So I had 2 STEAL one instead. I shooda KNOWN den U was LAME.

Butt NAH I kept on Thinking and Bleeving in YO shit.

And mostly dat was how wee was raised by mah Mama n Daddy. U dont QUESTION GOD bout whut HEE doo dey said.

Hee always LATE butt RITE ON TIME is da shit er body nem useta say.

So I grew up bleeving dat too. Even tho I neva got dat BIKE.

Then U let dat Big ass country-fed white boy knock mee off mah BIKE  I had stolen AND let him take it. Then when I TOOK it bak I got in trubble wit 5-0!!

See how U doo me??!!

They aint bleeve mee butt they bleeved da white boy. Made mee give da shit bak!!!!

I PRAYED n I Prayed bout dat 2 U too.

Butt guess wut?!

U aint give-a-FUCK!!

Butt mah DUMB ass kept rite on fuckin wit U.

Meanwile U was showing mee yo ENTIRE ass doe.

Now mah DADDY Dead n shit.

Cuz despite it all–and even tho Hee KNEW how U was hee STILL kept da FAITH and kept HOPE ALIVE.

The same wit mah MAMA hoo ironickally DIED wile she was on her KNEES Praying to YOU or Yo Son J.C. hoo has also prooved 2 B a AINT SHIT Nigga.

I SWEAR: Im jes really DISAPPOINTED and SICK of BOFF of yall fo real.

I TRUST MONEY mo den either one of yall now.

And the Day a MAN gotta Trust CASH Over GOD is sum sad/sad shit. Butt U got yo name all ova dat shit too doe!!

Yet n still: I tell U wut doe–MONEY has been BETTER to MEE than YOU have.

And I shood not have 2 say dat.

Butt I doo cuz its TRUE.

And whuts even SADDER is MUCH Money I done gave You on SUNDAYS.

And I aint tom bout not jes ONE SUNDAY.

Im tom bout ERRY Sunday I went in mah POCKETS and TITHED major LOOT to Yo ass.

Damn near PAID For Mah SINS on sum CHEERFUL GIVER Shit.

Butt soon as I hit a LICK & a PRAYER and NEED you-U aint NO WHERE 2 B Found!

Mayne U got me FUCKED Up.

Butt U Kno WHUT??!!

Its not jes YOU.

Its ALL you Muthafuckaz dat kall Ya Self Gods.

YOU/ALLAH/JEHOVAH/YAHWEH/MORONI.

Erry Last ONE ov U NEGROES aint shit butt a LAME NAME Full ov GAME hoo always FAT MOUFIN bout SERVING Yall.

Well all yall kan KISS MAH HAPPY NAPPY BLACK ASS 4 never beeing around when a NIGGA really and TRULY Needs Yall the MOST.

Sincerely,

Yo Useta Be Nigga

[my-chemical-friendzone]

*warning: major angry rant below*

on mobile, cant rly hide this under anything srry. i HAVE TO rant yall. Im going to see this Sunday and if I dont let my anger out now, Ill be a mess for my friends then. I cant contain it.

I cant even BELIEVE how stupid TROS sounds. If you showed me the plot I honestly would have pegged it as terrible fanfiction. I can't even begin to understand what went through JJ's mind when he was writing this? He must've been in fear after seeing the split reaction to TLJ because there's no way this was his original plan. No way in hell. Where the fuck did Palpatine come from? This idea of Rey Palp, which I was PERFECTLY FINE WITH IF it had been revealed in the second movie and not the third? Now you have ONE movie to explain just how the fuck that all happened. You have two hours and some minutes to convinve me of an entirely new parentage plot. I mean, Rian CLEARLY stated in TLJ that she was no one and then JJ goes and dismisses that completely so he can add Palpatine (because it's not like there's already SO MANY FUCKING MOVIES with him in it) and wrap it all up in the most convoluted way possible?

What was the point of Snoke? I was OK with him dying in Ep 8 because I thought that in Ep 9 Kylo would be the big baddie and then eventually it would morph into Hux. But that wasn't the case at all. It was Palpatine all along! Like some Scooby Doo villain we had to unmask. I mean really this Palp shit came out of NOWHERE. There's ZERO indication of him in Ep 7 or 8--true--now that we know the evil presence while Ben was a fetus was him and not Snoke BUT AGAIN that's dumb as hell.

Then Rey goes on to claim in the end that SHE'S the Skywalker? MAN get the FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT NONSENSE. YOU AREN'T THE SKYWALKER. You BARELY knew you were Palpatine about a second ago LET ALONE WHO THAT BITCH EVEN WAS.

And she has the name but not the family? Is that really the belonging she seeked? There's NO SKYWALKERS LEFT TO BE THERE WITH HER. Being surrounded by the ghosts of her DEAD "family". WoW what a happy ending for Rey, she must feel ????great???? starting where she left off in a desert with no one but BB8. Oh but at least now she can cAlL herSelF a SkYwAlKeR cause that's what matters.

Dont get me started on Ben's death. There's not enough pages in a book to fill with the complaints I have about that. I mean you really gotta fuck up if REYLO BEING CANON makes me not give a single fuck. Reylo, which I defended for YEARS, wrote theories and analogies for, drew for, researched SW for--doesn't get me excited.

Stupid. I can't believe I waited years and put my time into some bullshit.