#ya van 4

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

🤔

[thereadingchallengechallenge]

Review: My Darling Dreadful Thing by Johanna Van Veen Rating: 4/5

A delicious, Gothic sapphic romance that I couldn't stop reading. I really love books set in the Netherlands, I've never figured out why and I find so few of them, but it was so nice to read something set outside the UK or America. I loved the explorations of trauma and how people cope with it and I adored the complex relationships between Roos, Ruth and Agnes. A thoroughly enjoyable read with shades of Crimson Peak.

[turkeytrey]

apricity🌤

[shes4twnksinatrnchct]

[tortademaracuya]

vio la fecha de entrega final del trabajo incident 15 dead 50 injured

[elbiotipo]

nunca compren hamburgesas marca Friar, no sé que mierda tienen pero para mí están hechas de E. coli en forma de medallón o algo así

[nomaishuttle]

update on ME and my life btw. as it turns out i am not having my first ever plane ride next month -_- were gonna do a carride instead Since ill be taking stuff with me u see. but also i dont have rhat nuch.. but im sorr of.relieved bc it means i dont have to update my lciense until i get there :]

[dannystattoo]

Not me getting emo about the fact I have to fly through Fort Lauderdale today and thinking the last time I was there was DIG pit day 🥲

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

After a three-year hiatus, Sammy Hagar and Bob Weir's Acoustic-4-A-Cure concert will return to The Fillmore in San Francisco on May 13th.

Hagar and Weir will be joined by some special guests including Michael Anthony and Vic Johnson. Taj Mahal, Don Was, and Nancy Wilson are also set to take the stage with Hagar and Weir along with more to be announced soon.

"I'm thrilled that we're back for an eighth year and back home at The Fillmore in San Francisco where it all began," Hagar said in a statement. "Most of all so grateful to my friends and partners who lend their unconditional support year after year. We're able to produce an arena level show at an intimate venue and keep the ticket prices affordable because these incredible artists donate their time and deliver unbelievable performances so all of the profits can go directly to an incredible cause. That's my kind of philanthropy!"

This year's benefit show proceeds will go toward the Pediatric Cancer Program at the University of California San Francisco's Benioff Children's Hospital. General sale for Acoustic-4-A-Cure will begin Friday (April 14) at 10 a.m. PST via Live Nation.

Sammy Hagar, John Mayer, Tommy Lee & Vic Johnson: "Finish What Ya Started" [Acoustic-4-A-Cure 2017]

[slaanxsh]

slaanesh is blonde?

lmao yeah thats what i said nonny

[saturnismo]

Trabajando con el flaco que ya hizo llorar a dos compañeras y creo que le encontré la vuelta (tratarlo como si tuviera 5 años)

[a-aexotic]

𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, gossip girl.

౨ৎ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | three best friends, a boyfriend and gossip blog page. what's the worst could happen?

y/n winfrey was the resident IT girl of the upper-east side, alongside her friends serena and blair. but underneath all that glamour, popularity and luxury, is just a girl who misses how it was.

౨ৎ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | nate archibald x fem!reader, platonic!serena van der woodsen x fem!reader, platonic!blair waldorf x fem!reader

౨ৎ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(s) | best friends to strangers to friends to lovers. this is a fanfiction for nate, but there is also subplots with reader, blair and serena. canon gossip girl stuff like drama, underage drinking/drug usage, DRAMA, mentions of SA, family issues, oh did i mention drama?

౨ৎ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | okay so, i'm rewatching gossip girl and i fell back in love with nate (pretty boy) archibald. but i also realized how much of a SLUT!! he is, like genuinely, he wants everyone (and their moms). but anyway, this is very much canon gossip girl but i'm changing the plot as it goes on HAHAH.

i also don't know how much i'll write, i may just write for season 1 and then stop, not sure yet. guess we'll figure out as we go. let me know your thoughts, inbox is ALWAYS open for anything! kk, love ya guys

original characters.

prologue

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

. . .

navigation!

[evie-sturns]

ᴅʀɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

summary: it's your 5 month anniversary with matt, to celebrate he takes you to a drive in movie, but things don't turn out the way you expected.

contains: smut, semi public sex, car sex, fluff, swearing.

-----------------------°°••....••°°--------------————

9:48pm

i've been rotting it bed since i woke up in the mid-afternoon, the light in my room is fading as the sun sets. with a dramatic sigh i roll over in bed to check my phone, i have several missed calls from my boyfriend, matt.

"shit." i mumble to myself, dialing matt's number after accidentally ignoring him for half the day.

"y/n, are you okay?" matt says with a sigh through the phone.

"yeah.. yeah i'm sorry i was asleep, you okay?" i reply, dragging myself out of bed as i clutch my phone in one hand.

"meet me outside in 10 minutes okay?"

"matt, i just woke up." i groan, stripping down to nothing before rummaging through my closet for anything to wear.

"doesn't matter sweetheart." i can hear matts smile in his voice as he hangs up.

my eyebrows furrow with confusion as i pull up my jeans, i place my phone back down on my bed and dart around my ensuite, messily applying mascara and attempting to tie my hair into two braids.

the rumble of matts van pulling into my driveway echos from outside my house, followed by 4 gentle knocks on my front door. "doors unlocked!" i yell out, yanking up my socks past my ankles.

i hear approaching footsteps up my stairs, matt swings open my door.

hes wearing dad jeans, and a cute red crewneck which slightly hugs his waist.

"matt!" i exclaim, running up to him and embracing matt in a tight hug. he laughs before rubbing my back.

"happy anniversary" matt smiles, grabbing my hand as i pull away.

"ready to go?" he asks, i clear my throat quietly.

if im being honest i have no idea where we are meant to be going, i can't remember if matt's told me or not.

"okay.." i force a confident tone, letting matt guide us downstairs and out into the driveway where his grey minivan is parked, barely illuminated from the decaying streetlight above.

he opens the door for me, mindlessly i jump into the passenger seat, switching my phone on do not disturb while matt climbs into the drivers side, turning on the ignition.

after several minutes of small talk matt pulls off the main road, towards an empty parking lot.

“hey, matt.. i know we are going somewhere, but i can’t remember if you told me where.” i mutter quietly, earning a giggle from matt

“i’d hope i didn’t tell you, it’s a surprise idiot.” he laughs, rubbing his eyes.

i nod, giving him a slap on the leg from his snarky nickname.

at the back of the parking lot there’s a wall, i think it’s the back of a business workplace or something. matt backs into the parking spot, specifically the one where his trunk is about a meter away from the wall.

he sighs nervously before starting “i decided to kind of do something different, i’m kind of surprised you haven’t caught on but.. ya know.”

i nod “okay!” before matt climbs out of the car, i follow and walk round the front of the car towards matt, who’s standing still near the back door.

he takes my hand, and pulls me toward the trunk before opening it, revealing the whole back of the van which is decked out in blankets, pillows and stuffed animals.

my jaw goes slack.

matt’s never been romantic, he says that he’s not into all the ‘cornball shit’, so this coming from him was possibly the last thing i expected.

“is it bad.” matt blurts out, his voice breaks slightly.

i let out a nervous giggle “matt this is so cute, i love it!”

i wrap my arms around him, grinning stupidly into his chest “how the fuck did i not see this in the back.” i tut,

matt picks me up and throws me in the trunk, the stupid amount of cushions breaks my fall

matt crawls in behind me, laying down with one arm out, inviting me to cuddle him, which i do.

i feel my eyes grow heavy while matt scrambles through the pillows beside us, i peel my eyes open to see matt frantically trying to put together a projector.

“matt?” i whisper, my voice hoarse, his head instantly snaps back to me with a guilty expression.

before he can speak the projector turns on, projecting matt’s phone screen onto the wall right in front of us from outside the trunk of the car.

“oh my god.” i laugh in disbelief, i look up at matt who has a proud look on his face.

i sit up and peck kisses all over his face “you’re so stupid” matt shakes his head with a grin painted across his mouth.

“i downloaded netflix for this..” matt whispers, earning another round of kisses from me.

“you can choose sweetheart.” matt says handing me his phone, i scroll through various movies before landing on one.

scream 2.

“horror in an abandoned parking lot!” matt gasps dramatically, “shut up its a good movie, still not sure how you haven’t watched it.” i joke back, pressing play.

the start of the movie is slow and boring, matt’s just been rubbing my thigh lovingly for the past few minutes, i don’t know what it’s doing to me but it’s got me extremely worked up.

suddenly i shut off the movie, before straddling matt. i don’t know how, but abrubtly i’m desperate for his hands some place else. “oh?” he clears his throat.

i toy with the button of his jeans “matt..” i whine quietly, locking eyes with him. “you alright gorgeous?” he croaks.

“i want your hands..” i whisper, my cheeks flushing.

“can i ask where this came from?” matt says, trying to keep his composure. “your hands on my thighs.. i need them further up.” i blurt out before slamming a hand over my mouth.

“mhm?” he replies, grabbing my ass and lifting me off him, next to his side.

“do you want me to take us home then?” matt questions, sitting up.

“what no?”

“baby i can’t make you feel good here, you know that.” he says “yes you can matt?” i snap back, the attitude in my voice peaking through

he looks at me with a disappointed dad look, “we’re in public last time i checked.”

“can i be honest matthew..” i say, my voice slow as i break eye contact. he nods , grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. “anything.”

“i’m physically hurting from how badly i need you, so for the love of god don’t take me home because i am too inpatient for that, okay?”

matt’s eyes widen “gotcha.” he says, his voice cracks.

without another word i lie back, spreading my legs as far as they possibly can go.

“god, your needy today aren’t you?” he coos, positioning himself over me. matt plants a desperate kiss on my lips while one of his hands grip my inner thigh.

“gonna have to get these off, hm?” matt says, pulling down my jeans to my ankles, then yanking them off. the cold air night hits my warm skin, the only light in the back of the van is the few fairy lights matt put up.

matt grabs the back of my head gently, and lays me down flat on the mountain pillow

“comfy?”

i nod, matt looms over me, letting one hand rest between my legs, keeping direct eye contact with me the whole time.

this is the first time in a few weeks matt and i have got so intimate, i’ve been dangerously tired from work, and matt’s been working on the 6 mil video with nick and chris, leaving us little time to see each other.

a light scoff escapes from matt’s mouth, “wet for me all down your thighs.” he mutters, moving his hand up to rest on my clothed clit. i groan, the everlasting heat between my legs isn’t being helped.

i buck my hips up into matt’s hand, shutting my eyes for a brief moment. he takes his time to apply pressure, wanting to savour every moment of this.

i let out a shaky breath which hits matt’s neck, “more.” is the only word i can form through my horny state.

“mhm? you really want more?”

i bop my head up and down frantically, matt pushes my panties to the side and runs one long finger through my folds, brushing my bud temporarily .

a desperate whimper exits my throat, my hands lay flat on my stomach, pressing lightly. matt stares into my squinted eyes as he slides his index and middle finger into me.

“fuck.. thank you-..” i groan out, matt laughs

“thank you?” he says, a stupid grin on his face again. “sorry..” i mutter, a small smirk on my face revealing.

matt presses a peck to the tip of my nose before thrusting his fingers in and out of me,

“you feel so good around my fingers, gonna feel this good around my cock too yeah?”

just with that sentence i clench around matt’s fingers, releasing around them. matt’s mouth gapes a small amount. “sorry..” i breath out, i think that’s a new record for fastest time to cum ever.

“don’t say sorry, that was kind of impressive.” matt laughs, sliding his fingers out of me. he wipes them on the pillow beside us, ‘not wanting to make a mess’ is what he says each time.

i reach for matt’s jeans, unbuttoning them and pulling them down, i palm him through his boxers as i sit upright. matt stays quiet as he flips me over onto all fours “ready?” he says, kneeling behind me.

i look over my shoulder, matt somehow looks so innocent even though he’s about to fuck me dumb. “yeah.. please.”

he runs his tip over my slit a few times before sliding in, inch by inch.

“sweetheart?” i hear matt say softly from behind me, “mm?” i hum, “can you arch a little more for me gorgeous girl?” he says, resting a hand on my lower back and pressing lightly. i comply, arching my back as much as it can.

“good girl.” he whispers, his tip kissing my cervix.

he starts to thrust in and out, a string of moans exit my mouth as i bury my face in one of the pillows.

he grips my waist tight, i wouldn’t be surprised if there’s gonna be marks tomorrow.

“god you feel so fucking good.” matt praises, his thrusts growing faster and faster each time.

i hum in response, my mind has gone foggy.

a familiar knot forms in my stomach, i can feel myself reaching my second orgasm tonight. “your clenching, gonna come for me again?” matt says in between thrusts.

and with a squeal of matt’s name the knot in my stomach snaps.

matt pulls out with a slick sound before painting my back with white streaks. “shit shit shit..” matt curses, grabbing a blanket and wiping me down.

“you okay?” he asks, flopping down into the pile of pillows, i follow flopping down on his chest.

“more than okay..” i mumble into his neck.

————-

(a month later)

the sound of music fills my car as i drive over to matt’s house, today is our 6 month anniversary and we’ve planned a movie night at his home.

i pull into his driveway, i grab my phone and dash up to his front door, locking my car behind me.

i swing the door open, matt’s standing in the kitchen on his phone. “matt!!” i squeal, running up to hug him. “happy 6 month anniversary!” he says, smothering me with kisses.

he picks me up by my ass and takes us over to his living room, it’s dimly lit by the tv. he throws me down on the couch which is covered in various blankets and pillows.

i look over at the tv and my jaw drops with a laugh.

scream 2

“i mean we didn’t get to watch it last month!” matt shrugs, pulling me towards him on the couch.

-

it’s not even been 3 minutes and i’m being pounded into by matt, i think this is going to become a new tradition.

try to finish the scream movie without fucking in the first 10 minutes.

-----------------------°°••....••°°--------------————

[baby-ana1]

Consejos para bajar se peso:

1. Has ayuno intermitente, es realmente efectivo

2. No superes las 800 calorías diarias

3. Todo lo que tenga 0 calorías puedes consumirlo durante el ayuno, así que puedes probar tes, café, jugos light, lo que tu quieras

4. Comprar ropa que te quede pequeña para verte obligado a bajar de peso, ya que si no lo haces, no vas a caber

5. Pasar frío. Es un mito que el calor ayuda a bajar de peso, solo te deshidrataras, pero el frío si ayuda a bajar de peso. Cuando uno pasa frío el cuerpo se ve obligado a quemar grasa para producir calor corporal

6. Si vas a vomitar, preorisa alimentos líquidos, son más fáciles de vomitar

7. Date premios no relacionados con la comida. Por ejemplo: comprárte ese pantalón que siempre quisiste pero que nunca pudiste comprar por que no lo ibas a poder usar, ir a ese lugar que te daba vergüenza por tu peso, etc.

8. Consigue a alguien que tenga el mismo objetivo y ayunen, hagan ejercicio, etc, juntos. Es mucho más divertido y efectivo.

9. Evita lácteos y asucares, es lo que MAS te hará engordar

10. Intenta que tus comidas no tengan variedad de alimentos. Vieron que cuando se llenan al comer, por algún motivo todavía pueden comer el postre? Eso es porque el cerebro manda señales que te hacen comer más en presencia de variedad. Si buscas comer menos, evita esa variedad.

11. Toma mucha agua, entre 2 y 3 litros por día

12. Has al menos 6 mil pasos diarios (parecen mucho pero no lo son)

13. Eviten comer cosas del paquete, no se van a poder controlar

14. Priorizen las proteínas para no quedar skinny fat

15. Hagan actividades que no los hagan pensar en la comida

16. El agua tibia con limón ayuda mucho al metabolismo

17. Evita las yemas de los huevos, un huevo entero tiene 75 calorías, pero la clara s��lo 17, osea que la mayor parte de las calorías son por culpa de la yema

18. Usa platos y cubiertos pequeños si tienes alguno, harán creer a tu cerebro que la porción es más grande de lo que realmente es y te sentirás más saciado.

19. Has pilates. El pilates es lo mejor que le paso a este mundo

20. Haste estas preguntas a ti mismo antes de comer cualquier cosa

¿Me voy a sentir bien con mi cuerpo después de comer esto?

¿Realmente tengo hambre o solo estoy aburrido?

¿Me voy a arrepentir de comer esto?

21. Pasar frío puede quemar de 60 a 100 calorías cada 25 minutos

22. Selecciona UN día, solo UN día para quitarte las ganas de todo aquello que se te haya antojado durante la semana. Que sea siempre el mismo. El motivo es que si tienes un día en lo que puedes comer lo que quieras se disminuye la probabilidad de un atracón.

Si te dices "no voy a comer esta galleta hasta que sea delgada" van a pasar las semanas y vas a ver que todavía no eres delgada, lo que significa que todavía no puedes comer la galleta y te vas a empezar a desesperar. Lo siguiente que pasará es que vas a dejar la dieta, porque ya no aguantas las ganas.

En cambio si tienes un día designado para comer lo que quieras, te dirás "no comeré esta galleta hasta el sábado (o el día que quieras)" y al pasar los días veras que el día para comer SI se acerca y sabes cuando es, lo que te ayudará a resistir.

Obviamente, cuando llegue el día, no te comas todo lo que se pase por delante tuyo, come únicamente esos alimento de los que estuviste más antojado en la semana.

[depoesiaypoetas]

Parafraseando a mi yo de hace 5 años, "el mundo no se va a tornar mágicamente rosa porque el 4 se vuelve 5, pero pasar página nos va a traer un montón de esperanza". Es curioso como cada año que pasa siento que fue el más desafiante de mi vida, pero irónicamente 2024 no me lo pareció así (aunque sí pudo serlo). Y es que quizás llegar a los 30 fue un balde de realidad que ha servido para darme cuenta que la vida no es tan mala. No hablo desde el privilegio, sino de la madurez cuando digo que pese a las calamidades vividas, se surfeó satisfactoriamente 366 días y los moretones están verdes, los árboles retoñan y el pasto sigue creciendo. Ahora entiendo que los dolores y alegrías son parte de un todo, y está mal pero está bien. Y es súper necesario llorarlo pero también respirar despacio y abrazar la esperanza, como cada año, que se mantiene firme. Ya no se escribe tanto, ya se escucha más. Se va quien se va, llega quien llega, nos mantenemos o nos vamos también. Seguimos cambiando pero ya no tanto; seguimos aprendiendo, que es lo que más nos gusta. Seguimos mirando ojos que no nos miran y esquivando a aquellos que observan de lejos. Es la vida. Se aprende con los errores, se cometen los mismos errores; quizás no quieres aprender. Pero se vive. Muy en el fondo, es la conciencia susurrando que ya vivimos muy rápido e hicimos lo que quisimos, ahora queremos vivir mejor, despacito, viendo las nubes desde el suelo, manteniendo cerquita a quienes nos aman y queremos para toda la vida. Más que decir, sentir los "te quiero". Reaprender que las cosas no son eternas y las personas mucho menos, o se alejan o se van a la nube más alta, aunque permanezcan. El frío tiene remedio, la ausencia no tanto. Ver el mundo con los mismos ojos que tenías a los ocho mientras leías revistas de viajes. Experimentar en la cocina recetas inventadas para tu familia. Ver viejas pelis de toda la vida. Emocionarse de nuevo. Sonreír con extraños que pronto dejarán de serlo. Cantar bien fuerte. Creer en ti. Apapachar mucho al niño interior que ni toparía lo que estás haciendo ahora, pero si tú te acuerdas de él cuando lo vas logrando, imagina lo que siente él. Te vas 2024, y tenemos uno nuevecito, lleno de "áreas de oportunidad" o desastres inmensos, qué más da. Que tengas el mejor año de tu vida...

Clara Ajc

[fishfooddude]

Before the Policy

Prequel to the No Phone Policy universe

MDNI 18+ (blame Olive and Capri for my intense love of breeding kink Carmy....)

The Bear MasterList

Directory

Part 4

“This is the month Carm. I feel it in my womb.” you teased as you sat on the edge of the tub. You fidgeted with your engagement ring as he got ready for work. He chuckled as he applied gel to his hair, quickly brushing it back. Maybe it was because you’d been ovulating, but his biceps looked delicious, wrapped in his overly tight white t-shirt that evening.

“Well, if it comes back negative, I’ll just keep fuckin’ ya until I get you pregnant.” he joked as he put his brush back in its designated spot on the bathroom counter before moving to sit next to you on the edge of the tub. You rolled your eyes, “Whatever did I do to get such a considerate husband?” 

“You coulda ghosted me, baby.” Carmy laughed as he threw an arm around your shoulders. “What if it comes back positive?” you asked in a soft, nervous voice, “Well, I like the name Bonnie for a girl, and whatever Van Halen member name is left if it’s a boy… and I’ll still fuck ya raw.” Carmy teased as he kissed your cheek. You giggled and wrapped an arm around his waist as you leaned against his body.

“I love you, Carmen.”

“I love you more, baby… we gonna have one?” Carmy asked as he nuzzled his face into your hair. You reached for the pregnancy test sitting on the toilet tank. A frown formed when you saw the negative result staring back at you.

“Damn it…” you trailed off as Carmy kissed your head. “It’s okay, baby. It’ll happen when it happens.”

“I know. I just wish it would happen now.”

~

It was late when Carmy had returned home from the restaurant. David had been on his ass from the moment he walked into the moment he left. His back ached. His anxiety was off the charts. He’d noticed sporadic text messages from his family back in Chicago but ignored them. Carmy just wanted to hold you and get some sleep. After shedding his jacket and shoes, he walked back to your bedroom.

You were asleep in one of his T-shirts. Carmy watched you roll on your side; the blanket that had been covering your lower half shifted to reveal the voluptuous orbs of your ass, only a thin pair of panties concealing its glory. Carmy felt his cock twitch in his pants. As exhausted as he was, the visceral reaction to the sight before him woke him up.

Carmy pulled his shirt off and threw it in the hamster before struggling with his belt buckle. When he’d managed to get his pants off, he got into hed and attached himself to you. As he gripped your hips, he nuzzled his face into your neck and took in a whiff of your vanilla brown sugar body wash. A soft groan escaped his throat as he brought your hips closer to his pelvis. The movement had been enough to wake you.

“Hey you.” you purred sleepily as Carmy’s hands pushed their way up under the shirt you’d worn to bed. “Hi baby,” he mumbled as he nipped at the sensitive skin under your ear. You giggled as you shifted your hips against Carmy’s crotch, eliciting a strained whimper, “I need you, baby- lay on your back.” he commanded before removing his hands from your body and hurrying back to allow you to roll over. 

Carmy pushed your thighs apart and wedged himself between them. His eyes were dark with lust as he pushed your shirt up, exposing your chest to him. “So fuckin’ sexy…” he growled before leaning in to kiss you. Your hands tangled in the greasy curls at the nape of his neck as your lips melded together. Carmy ground his hips against you, desperate to alleviate himself. You let your hands trail down Carmy’s toned back as he pushed his tongue into your mouth. The taste of tobacco and spearmint flooded your tastebuds.

“Want me to fuck you baby?” Carmy teased as he ran his tip through your glistening folds. You bit your lip as you nodded furiously. “Fuck me, Carmen,” you whined as he slipped inside of you. A loud, wanton moan erupted from your chest as you felt yourself stretch to accommodate the girth of his cock. “I love the way you say my name.” Carmy groaned as he slowly started thrusting his hips, “Keep sayin’ it, baby.” 

As your orgasm approached, you let your head fall back into the pillows as you squeezed your eyes closed to focus on the knot tightening in your stomach. Carmy clicked his tongue as he brought a hand to your chin. Using his thumb, he pushed your chin down. “Look at me while I fuck you, baby. I wanna see the look on your face while I knock you up.” 

~

“Carm? You’re home- hey, what's wrong, baby?” your surprised smile fell when you saw the look on his face. He shook his head before bringing his hands to rub his eyes as he took a breath, “Uh Mikey- he uh- he killed himself.” 

“What?”

“Yea, he uh- he shot himself…”

“Carmen, baby, are you okay?” 

“No, I’m really fuckin’ not.” Carmy laughed as tears started flooding his eyes. You opened your arms to him, and he closed the distance between you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you as close as humanly possible. You wrapped your arms around his neck after he buried his face into your neck. 

“Let it out, baby. I’m here. I’m right here.” you reassured as you felt him trembling. “It’s okay, baby. I’m right here…” you cooed, pressing a kiss to his temple. 

A few weeks later, Carmy found out that The Beef had been left to him. The funeral had come and gone. Natalie was calling you daily, trying to get a hold of Carmy, and now you found yourself sitting in the bathroom staring down at a positive pregnancy test. “Well… this’ll be interesting.” you chuckled as you threw the test in the garbage can. “How the hell are we gonna Daddy about this? He’s… goin through it…” you wondered, putting a hand on what you’d thought was just regular bloating.

Carmy was tense. He’d lost more than just a brother—Mikey was his best friend and one of the closest things to a father he’d ever had. Carmy was staring at his phone that evening. He inched toward the edge of the couch, awaiting a call back from his boss. You walked into the living room and went unnoticed by your husband. You slowly inched forward and watched as Carmy continually refreshed his phone. “Carmen? You comin’ to bed?” you asked, breaking the silence that had filled the room. He looked up at you and nodded, “Sorry, I’m just waitin’ for David to text me back…”

You offered him a weak smile before sitting beside him on the couch. You wrapped an arm around Carmy’s bicep before resting your head on his shoulder. “Baby, you should go to bed without me- he’s makin’ me wait… fuckin’ prick.” Carmy sighed as he ran his thumb along your jawline. “I’ll stay. We can’t sleep without you.” you whispered, hoping Carmy would pick up on the subtle ‘we’. 

Carmy hummed, acknowledging what you’d said before realizing what you’d said. “We? You’re not- are you- you -you’re pregnant?” he stammered as he really thought about what you’d said. You giggled, “You knocked me up, Berzatto…”

“Baby…” Carmy trailed off before pulling his arm out of your loosening grip, causing him to drop his phone. He brought his hands to your cheeks and brought your chin up, “You’re pregnant?” 

You nodded, hoping this was the right time to tell him. Carmy dropped his hands to your waist before falling back against the couch, taking you with him. You giggled as Carmy squeezed you, “Holy shit- it’s finally happening.” he sputtered as you swung a leg over his hips. He let go of you, and you sat up on his hips. “You’re pregnant… holy shit.” Carmy beamed. You bit your lip and slowly nodded before bringing one of his hands to your stomach.

“Holy shit… I can sell The Beef-” 

“No, you’re not selling The Beef Carmen. We’re gonna move to Chicago, you’re gonna follow your dream, I’ll do my thing, and we’ll raise the kid there.” you cut him off. Carmy frowned, “What about your family?”

You shrugged at his concern, “Pam, Mason, and the boys are already in Illinois. Mars is- well, Mars… she’ll be around. And my Dad doesn’t care. He’ll find his way over to his grandbaby.” 

Carmy was quiet as he took in what you said. He spread his fingers against your stomach and softly smiled. “Our little cub…”

~

“Hey, Mammas, you’re lookin’ good.” Tina greeted as you walked into the kitchen that afternoon. You smiled, “Hey, T. Any idea where my husband is?”

“Back alley- can I?” she smiled, motioning to your bump. You nodded and opened your jacket to give her better access to your ever-growing bump. “How much longer?” Tina asked as she felt your stomach.

“Four more months.”

“I loved bein’ pregnant. You feelin’ okay? Been usin’ that oil?” 

You smiled, “Carm helps every night.”

Tina smiled as she removed her hands, “You got a good one, girl.”

“I really do,” you responded before maneuvering through the kitchen to the back alley. 

Carmy ashed his cigarette when he saw you walking out into the ally. “Hey, beautiful.” he greeted as you glared at him. “I thought you quit.” you scolded as you went to kiss his cheek. Carmy chuckled, “I’m workin’ on it… how are my girls?” his hands immediately going to your stomach.

“Good. She’s letting me sleep. Took a killer nap between clients.” you answered as you placed your hand on his, lacing your fingers in his, “How’s all this goin’?”

Carmy sighed, “Friends and Family is on the calendar… we’ll see what happens.”

“You’re killin’ it, Berzatto.” 

“I’m tryin’ for her.” Carmy grinned before leaning in to kiss your forehead, “I gotta go back inside. Wanna hang out in the office? I’ll drive you home when I’m done here.”

~

“Hey Richie, is Carmy gonna come out, or can I go back and say hi?” you asked, grabbing one of Richie’s sleeves as he power-walked past you. He stumbled slightly and shook his head. “Not right now, dollface, but I’ll grab you in a bit.” He grinned and nodded in your sister’s direction. He hurried back to the kitchen, and you shifted in your seat.

“Something is up back there,” Mars mumbled into her wine glass as she took a sip. You rolled your eyes, “Mars. Please. You’re my baby sister, and I love you, but please don’t make me worry.” 

She put her hands up defensively after placing her glass back on the table, “I’m just reporting on the vibe, Y/N. Somethin feels off…” 

You rolled your eyes again, and before you could say anything, a waiter approached the table and placed plates in front of you and Mars. “Thank you.” you smiled in his direction as Mars craned her neck to look past your shoulder. 

“The pregnant blonde is your sister-in-law, Natalie, right?” she asked when she noticed a worried expression on her face. Natalie got up quickly and walked back toward the kitchen door; you looked over your shoulder and saw Pete sitting alone, “That’s her husband, Pete. Where’d Nat go?” you wondered aloud. Mars bit her tongue and just shrugged, “I saw her walking toward the bathroom, I guess.” 

“Hi, uh- Mrs. Berzatto-” Fak awkwardly started as he stood at your and Mar’s table. “Neil, you can just call me Y/N.” you cut him off with a laugh at the formality of ‘Mrs.Berzatto’. Fak grinned and nodded before explaining that Carmy was locked in the walk-in. “I’m sorry, what?!” you jumped into action. 

You hurried to the kitchen. Tina met you a few feet before you got to the fridge to reassure you that Carmy was okay and they’d called the locksmith. “Tell her to sit down- I’m okay,” Carmy called from inside the fridge. Your face scrunched in concern as you pushed Tina to the side softly.

“Carm? Are you alive?” you jokily asked, trying to lighten the mood. “Go eat dinner, baby- I don’t want you to over-exert yourself.” Carmy protested as he slid down the fridge door to sit on the floor. You shook your head with a laugh, “Nope. You’re stuck with me. At least until the locksmith gets here.” 

“Fuckin’ fridge guy- I forgot to call im back. We were putting together that fuckin’ crib, I got distracted by the baby stuff-” Carmy rasped absentmindedly before you cut him off, “I’m sorry, maybe I misheard you. Did you just call our daughter a distraction?” you huffed, hoping you’d misheard him.

“No-no-no baby-” Carmy fretted as he pushed himself up from the floor. He turned and attempted to push the door open again, now more determined to get out of the fridge. “You know what, Carmen, you were right. I shouldn't over-exert myself.” you huffed, pushing a fallen lock of hair behind your ear, “Screw you!” 

You were trying to blink away the tears welling in your eyes when you bumped into Richie on your way out of the kitchen. He called after you when he’d noticed you were on the verge of tears; he watched you run out the front of the restaurant before storming back into the kitchen. “Carmy, what the fuck did you say to your wife!” he yelled as he pounded on the door of the walk-in, not caring about the atmosphere of the kitchen or the dining room. “Shut the fuck up, Richie! Get me the fuck out of this fridge!”  Carmy yelled just as loudly; he needed to talk to you before it was too late.

You sighed as you rubbed lotion on your stomach that night. “You’re not a distraction. Daddy didn’t mean it… or at least I hope he didn’t,” you reassured yourself and the baby who insisted on using your kidney as a trampoline. The front door swung open. It banged the wall, startling you. “Well… time to talk to Daddy…”

“Baby!” Carmy yelled as he ran upstairs. You swallowed as you heard his heavy footsteps approach the bedroom door. “Baby—” he coughed as he tried to catch his breath. “Baby, I’m so fuckin’ sorry. Our daughter is not a distraction- I was just-” 

You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his waist, smearing lotion into his dirty white t-shirt. Carmy hesitated before hugging you back. “If you ever refer to our daughter as anything other than a blessing again. I will beat the shit out of you,” you promised as you snuggled against his chest. Carmy kissed your head before chuckling softly, “There's the girl I married… fuckin’ firecracker.” 

~

“How’s the baby?” Tina asked as she scrubbed the counter adjacent to Carmy. “Good,” he answered unphased as he focused on an oil stain a line cook must have left in the steel. 

“Just good? Is her back feelin’ better? I sent her this article about stretches she can do, but she never responded.” Tina said, trying to get more information out of him. Carmy nodded, “Uh yeah, I think so.” 

Was your back hurting? Why didn’t you tell him about that? Did you say something to him about that? It wasn’t like you to not him about baby stuff. He shook the thought and continued working on the stain. 

It was late when Carmy got home. You were asleep with a romance novel next to you. He grinned and put the book on your bedside table. He smiled when he noticed your shirt had ridden up, exposing the very bottom of your bump. He squatted by the bed and pushed your shirt up a little more to reveal more of your stomach. “Hi, princess. I love you. I can’t wait to meet you… everything I’m doin’ is for you. Daddy’s gonna give you the moon and all the stars in the sky… I promise.” 

Part 5