#ya girl doesnt wear gloves

[organised-disaster]

Snow acts so bountiful and fluffy but when you grab it it's all wet and cold this is unacceptable

[blkkizzat]

Hiii babes <33 I'm back with another long message bc i cant shut up so buckle up ig hsjsjs

Not the hand in the panties reading the Naoya fics LMAOOO bc deadass me on this blog soooo…. When i say i had 2 minutes until my morning alarm while i was reading plug!choso and i turned that shit off and went back to reading like, the all nighter was worth it!! It's the weekend so im deadass trying to re-read it again and take it in properly now that im not sleep deprived hehe

FRRRR the nicki quote like deadass im tryna be someone villain origin story LMFAO. Nahhh because it's always the cheating fics or virgin reader fics that are phD level written and i can Not read those personally lmaoooo. I got too much fire in my chart to deal with that bullshittery 😭

No bc why do i kinda love unredeemable reader??? Like yes girl be on ur thot shit AND get the man !!! It's fiction!!! Pop out!!! Istg every time i think of that scene in plug!choso where she humiliates him and its deadass 'everyones watching her but shes looking at you' Like choso is soooooo down bad and MY GOD HDJDKSK like he didnt care what anyone thought he just wanted a lil luvin from herrrr, istg when i read that i was instantly transported into the story and like in chosos pov and i felt everyone laughing around me and staring and pointing, in my lil emo get up while everyone else is in their polos and mini skirts and just like lookin at reader with so much yearning and expectation like bih I FELT THAT!!!! My head gets so cloudy when i think of that scene tbh like i feel like it actually happened to me!! Ngl i think its bc i was sleep deprived so i was already on some loopy shit and i was still thinking about it up until the point i took a nap so i feel like i dreamed i was in the story??? Like i went to sleep w it on my mind and then it played out like a movie 😫 plug!choso indeed bc that fic feel like a HIT

Big yes on gojo being an introverted extrovert. I feel like if he's not careful it can ruin his self esteem too where he doesn't let himself properly be happy or have the things he wants yk?? Like deadass carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder and its more self inflicted than anything. Like NO he doesnt want to swim in pussy, he wants someone to go home to who will make him sweets and give him lap pillows and play with his cheeks and remind him to wash his face before bed!!! Stg im out here tryin to beat the fuckboy gojo allegations by printing out otaku!gojo on printer paper and dropping it off door to door so everyone can read the TRUTH 😔. Im campaigning that ishh

Okay but the bonnet x anime shirt fit is such a vibe too?? That's what u wearing when toji bring home the hitman salary and is like "go get dolled up kali we goin out to eat tonight, n wear them lil black gloves i like" 😚 i can get behind the kalji (??) agenda lmfao. Tbh toji was the jjk character i seen when he first came out bc my shithead ex was a japanese otaku boy but like actually an incel jsjsjsk ANY.WHO! yeahhh i like my 2d men to be virgins bc im on the 'first, last, best pussy u ever had agenda' shrugs they dont call me cherry nonie for nothing!! But toji hot as fuck like id def smash at least once to say i did before hopping over to shiu hehe. But deadass i always do so well with the playboys and the jerks bc i got that 'angel until you give her a reason to bite' genetic. Wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove 😙 but men stay tryin me so the serpent do be takin over sometimes lmfaoooo

Nooo pls its so much fun talking to u like im sorry for clogging up ur dash and this obnoxious ass long ask lmfao!!! I'm prob gonna send another ask so you can reply to that one without my long ass paragraph on ya blog bc u the main star baby 🥰🥰🥰

Hope u enjoy ur weekend!!!! Im all tucked up in bed and bursting at the seams bc plug choso here i come!!!! Again!!!!

🍒 anonnn

🍒 my pookies! Sorry for the delay im just starting to feel like a normal person rn lol. 

Omfg tysm tho, ahhh not you losing sleep 💗😭. Im really tryna make p3 good for y’all so I really do hope y’all will like it lol. I gotta get it over to be beta read soon cause I have two endings and im not sure which one to keep lol, they aren’t different its just where im choosing to end it that is lol.

LOL omfg no fr. Like im a cancer but baybay my mars is in Aries so I don’t take no shit and definitely not from none of these men out here (especially too cause my Venus is in gemini so im already going to be bored of a man lol. Im not gonna sit around and be cheated on lolol). Also omg you into horoscopes too? I love my natal readings they are so accurate imo.

Yeah! Idk I wasn’t event trying to necessarily  make reader irredeemable but I do like making characters with flaws. Not that I don’t enjoy a good fairytale type perfect damsel reader fic (because those give the warm and fuzzies) but I also love the idea that no matter how big a bitch/meanie/etc you are that whatever person you are really supposed to be with will end up seeing past that and inspiring you to bring out the best in you. Like reader in plug choso a people pleaser and dating choso even on the dl was probably the first thing she’s done for herself that wasn’t part of a “plan” to live up to others expectations. Ahh not you dreaming about it, im so jealous (legit never dream about the stuff I write I want to so bad haha). But I’m so ecstatic that it really did connect with people. LOL I remember saying when I made this blog I wouldn’t write angst but I also think I was thinking of angst where the reader gets screwed over.  I really enjoyed putting Choso through hell (lmfao I mean he’s just so babygirl I need to be a lil mean to him, love to see those tears 😫).

LMFAO! Not you spreading the gospel of otaku!gojo. Haha but I feel you. Even as a confident adult who would come off playboy he’s still a big dork underneath that. Which reminds me I have a CEO!Gojo/guest!professor Gojo fic with MBA!Reader. He comes off as a charismatic playboy but he a dork lol. 

“N wear them lil black gloves I like” AHHH I SCREAMMMED. Im wearing the gloves and NOTHING else we aint making it out the house!!! We can just fuck on top of the money lmfao. But I love a gown. I buy all my gowns from this site called ‘miss circle’ and the more casual ones from ‘mistress rocks’. Yasss tho it’s kalji! 

LOL I do like some virgins like otaku!gojo and my lil chosito but I like that Toji a hoe cause im definitely going to be talking to him crazy as hell. “Bring me that dick big daddy slut.”

No it’s okay!! I like talking with you you’re funny haha so drop by anytime!

LOL im in bed too hungover but im feeling better so imma start on plug choso p3, send me good vibes!!! You have a good weekend too!! 💕💕

[morwap]

Tattoo artist siruis black and first timer reader getting there. First tattoo and them whimpering and moving away from. Him when he doesnt hold there hand

(Pain kink innocent kink praise reader wearing a skirt and riding up as they move)

“first time huh?” sirius asked, his hair tied back and a smirk on his face as he put ink into a little holder. your eyes trailed from his gloved hands up his ink covered arms, nodding when he glanced over at you.

you heard him laugh a bit, it was soft and short. “its not as bad as you think, i promise” he said sweetly, a smile now appeared as he sat down on his chair and started getting tattoo gun ready.

the nerves in your stomach never faded even if his words were comforting. you watched him do his thing, cleaning off the spot where the design was going and asking thats where you for sure want it before putting on and then picking up the tattoo gun and gathering some ink before looking at you.

“you ready sweetheart?” sirius asked, rubbing his thumb in circles on your inner thigh.

“i think so” you breathed out, shifting in the chair causing your skirt to move up a bit.

“tell me whenever you need a break, if its too much today we can cut up the session but, i think you’ll be a good girl and handle it just fine” sirius said, a teasing tone on his tongue and it made you wanna press your thighs together.

you nodded, “m’ready” you sighed out softly. sirius nodded and the noise of the tattoo gun filled your ears.

the next 15 minutes consisted of you moving and trying to get away from the needle but doing it slightly so he wouldnt get mad at you for just jerking away. but for sirius it consisted of him just doing a simple line of your tattoo then looking at your face, you were wincing and chewing on your bottom lip with your eyes almost close. he caught sight of you digging your nails into your hand and he wouldn’t admit it out loud but he found it cute, hot even and of course he noticed that every time you moved your skirt would shift wether it be up a bit or over slightly, it was moving.

you heard the noise stop, feeling him wipe your skin. “wanna take a break love?” he asked, looking at you.

“yes please” you muttered, looking down at what he had down, it was a simple line and it hurt much more than you expected.

“dont worry sweetie, hurts for a lot of beginners and even some people thats been gettin’ them for a while.” sirius comforted, his thumb rubbing against your skin in a soft way.

sirius smiled, “but we do gotta do something about you squirmin’ around” he said. “cant give you the best quality if you’re moving about” he added playfully.

“sorry” you mumbled, your fingers playing with the hem of your skirt before sirius grabbed your hand.

“s’alright doll, maybe this will help.” he said as he brought your hand to his hand that rested on your inner thigh, helping you wrap your fingers around his middle finger.

“just keep ahold of me while i do it, don’t worry about holding too tight i promise it will be fine, hopefully this will help ya” sirius said, making you smile and laugh a bit which earned him the same reaction.

“thank you” you laughed, holding his finger and not letting go.

“anything for you sweetheart, you ready to start up again?” he asked, the smirk was back onto his face.

“yeah” you sighed and got a better hold on his finger.

20 minutes went by, the loud noise back in your ears but your finger stayed wrapped around sirius’ finger on his free hand. the pain wasnt as bad since you expected it and grabbing sirius really did help you and even you noticed that you werent pulling away but you continued to wince and show the discomfort in your face and how hard you were gripping him.

“you’re doing so good princess, m’so proud of you” sirius praised, feeling the grip you had on his finger loosen then tighten.

another couple minutes past.

“so good for me darling, doing so so good, we’re almost at a break point” sirius said over the loud noise.

you smiled through the pain even though it was getting better the more he continued. handling the pain “like a champ” as sirius once said.

[carnalhaus]

UHMM ya new ocs these 2 are fuckign CRAY ZEE 

welcome gwendolyn gore and julian joss !!! 

both of them came to me in a dream believe it or not !! i’ll explain the whole thing under the cut at the end, its basically their origin story or whatever, but it was also the inspo for their dynamic

so gwen doesnt care about anyones feelings !! she puts up a front of friendliness, innocence, and weakness bc she doesnt want anyone to suspect her (which works !!! nobody saw it coming :)) ). girl gets off on murdering people and making people lesser than her, shes not a good person and she embraces that. she was the one that got the both of them into this murder business in the first place, if it wasnt for her then like at LEAST 9 people would be alive. she manipulates people constantly, thats like her special talent. her favorite hobby is making julian believe that she likes him and cares about him, which she doesnt, she just uses him to ride out her power highs and keep her safe. hes just her little lap dog.

but julian isnt innocent either. this guy has had a crazy sick obsession with gwen since he first met her in college. he would do literally anything for her, he has like no boundaries. its to the point where he holds her so hard his nails draw blood, he bites her out of compulsion, and he goes crazy fucking stupid whenever she asks him for help, hes like intoxicated by the feeling that she needs him. lucky for him it doesnt bother her at all, he lets him have his fun for the most part. he takes simp to like a horribly creepy level. sometimes this man has to wear a fuckin muzzle and gloves around her bc hes so impulsive. he honestly wants to kill her bc he doesnt want anyone taking her from him, but every time she cuddles up to him he just fuckin melts, so he just keeps putting it off for later so he can spend more time with her.

gwen used his obsession to her advantage, and thus, this horridly toxic duo was born

anyways yes i got the idea for these 2 from a dream !! i’ll try n explain it as best as i can (the original dream was a lil different but i adapted it into somewhat of a story lmao)

so 11 film students go into the woods to film scenes for a project of theirs, among those students is gwen and julian

those 2 have a plan in mind :)

the plot of the project is a group of teens who poke around in the woods get killed by a serial killer, gwen is supposed to play the killer (haha funny right ?)

during a specific scene by a creek, gwen and julian’s plan unfolds

gwen legitimately kills four people, how she does it ? i couldnt tell you, but i’ll tell you it was gross and brutal and unnecessarily gory

julian films the entire thing, he wasnt even the cameraman for the project, the actual cameraman was the second one to get gutted like a fish, nobody knew he had a camera of his own 

four people get away, and as the day turns to night, gwen and julian hunt them down like animals and pick them off one by one

i have no idea what happened after they all died, but its safe to assume those two went on their merry way to cause more bloodshed in the next state over

tl;dr: gwen got jules to go along with her plan to finally act on her urges of violence and havoc, and their entire friend group was slaughtered while julian sat and watched in lovestruck awe (occasionally butting in when she got in trouble bc hes a lot bigger and stronger than she is)

what sparked that dream ?? i have no idea, but the atmosphere of it was actually pretty unsettling lol

[just-some-random-blogger]

December Dates

Seventeen Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, boyfriend!svt is here to take you on a date. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, crackkkkkk, v many typos,etc.

R E Q U E S T

my friend: seventeen + cute

A/N: HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HOS (jk) HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Also ashdiepl because im writing on a tab, i couldnt add any gifs so aksjemksksmsksksmskskdk alsO im so sorry i dont remember if the request is platonic or nah but kaksksksk this is what u get soz

-----

Alright

So no gifs

Imma just do a header real quick so u know wassap

S. Coups

Das better

hi header

I might delete u later if i get on a pc

But firsT seuNgcheEolL

*deep breath*

Ho u lucky enough to breath the same air he does

N now u are on aa date with him

WoWw

So bf!seungcheol is a cute lil snowflake

Which means he'll buy u an ugly ass Christmas sweater and matching gloves

THAT MATCHES THE ONES HE BOUGHT FOR HIMSELF OFC

then yall go out and play in the powdery snow outside

ImGine seungcheol grabbing yOuR hand 

cebAuse u a dumb loser that slips on nothing

Also warmth

pulling your scarf up a bit because he can tell you're getting cold

Then like a gentleman

will pUSH U INTO THE SNOW

AND START A FRICKIN SNOW WAR

HE'll hit ur dumb face he dont care

He'll maKe u wish u Stayed damn home

Rapid fire frikin snow granades man

Course iz all a bita fun

Then he'll let u win

Cause he does care Bout ur dumb Fce

Also he soft for u gross

Then once that's done he'll start laughing

Not because of post-snow ball fight adrenaline

But because he thinks himself so funny

When he busts a lung screaming "dO Ya wana biLd aSNOEMAN!!!!!"

AND THEN U decline and leave him in the snow

"YAAAAA WE HAVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN THOUGH!" he'll laugh

U literally wana leave him and his annoying ass

U stomp away

He laughs and goes after u

His hot breath is visible 

and hits your ear when he comes up and wraps his arms around you from behind

U be like, "listen stupid, u corny af, lets break up"

Seungcheol would pout and kiss ur cheek, "nah, u still owe me hot choco. Break up with me after paying me back."

"Ew, why would i pay u back tho"

"Uh cause if you don't imma do thisss," then he proceeds to shove u into the snow again

"CHOI. SEUNG. CHEEOOOLLLLLLLLLLALAKAKAOKS!"

Ok well i have to cut this here first cos there are 12 boys left

Oh Hi hello u here back to ur regular programme

Jeonghan

Yiz

Unlike cheol

Dis ho not about to get cold 4 u uhm

Leave the cold for someone else

But get warm together

I mean

Wink wINKkkkk

Jk gtfo

This is a wholesome headcanon

Git warm he would gladly

So u know what dat means

CUddlEs

Imagine cuddling jeonghan

BoIii

It's da holidays

Which mean he bout to get dat $$$leep

Of course u dont mind that ur just sleeping in

Gurl if ya do

Let me stress out

If you mind sleeping in and cuddling with yoon jeong han

GUrL

Wathu doin????

AnYWAY

ITz u and him right

Ur in bed reading the novel he got u beforehand right

Look at u looking cute in knit sweater and glasses

EVEN IF U DONT NEED THEM THERE ARE GLZSSES

IM TRYING TO MAKE A SCENE HERE WORK WITH ME

it could be jeonghan's ur using it as a headband shhhh

So like ur sitting down

N beside u its jeonhan v slightly snoring

Right right right

Then ur like "man i want something to eat cause i've been sitting here reading all day"

But also ur always hungry

Cause who isnt tho lol

ANYWAY UR ABOUT TO STZND UP

but jeonghan like a needy ho is like noooooooooooodontgo

N ur like

aww wat a needy ho

"Jeonghan im just gonna get something to eat"

"Eat laterrr, i need u now"

He'll keep his eyes shut and shimmy over

Securing an arm on your  hip so u wont go

U roll ur eyes and put your book away on the cabinet next u

"Jeonghan ive literally been next to u since last night. I'm just gonna get something to eat, and 4 u 2!"

He'll flutter his eyes open only to close them and move even closer to place his head on ur lap

"I dont want toooooo"

U roll ur eyes again and shimmy out of his grip

But only to get into his arms and hide your face in his chest

"You're so needy," u note

"Says you who's tangling themselves on me"

"Touché"

Joshua

Okay

Get this

Joshua and gingerbread houses

He probably used to build one growing up

And he has just the person in mind he wants to rekindle the tradition with

Congrats u filthy animal

So he took the liberty of getting allll u and he would need

And so much more

Im talking chocolate bars

Shipped cream

Candy canes

Busicuits

Edible glitter

Gum drops

Shrek 1 2 3 4

Is there a four

Im too lazy to google it

And omg u so special to him he loves u so much

Screw u

He wants to share the love with the carats

So he vlives it all

And at first ur shy

Like what if the joshua stans come 4 u

Ok but in this story yall had already annouce ur relationship

AND EVERYONE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE COOL WITH IT FFS LET UR FAVES DATE WHOEVER THEY WANT ISTG

so

Joshua is like "noo don be shy they'll all love u"

(':

N ur like ok cos i love u sm

But not like the company sm tho *barfing noises*

So yall build a gingerbread house and do a whole ass tutorial about it

Except u dont

Cause yal are morons and could stop messing up or earing the ingredients along the way

Sorry honey ur morons i dont make the rules

"Stop eating the marshmallows!"

"U literally finished the bowl of mnms tho Joshua!"

"Uh no that was the gingerbread man,"

ANd then u all bicker like children because u are omfl

And it excalates

fooD FIGHT

U smear cream on joshuas face

He sprinkles sprinkles on ur head

U press graham crackers against either of his cheeks and ask him what he is

"A sexy graham sandwich"

"Ew no wrong answer," u reply

Can i just point out that that chocolate syrup stain is never coming off

*cough cough cough moron cough cough*

Jun

Imma bout to yeet

Junhui is also feeling nostalic

super soft super baby

And since he's probably feeling bit homesick somewhere in there

he thinks he can remedy it with a bit of chinese home cooking!!!

And whiney needy cuddles also yay

Moving on so

Will it be good?

Damn straight

itll be fikin delish

Will you try to to help him

Of course u gotta help ur man

But like duh

u have eyes

And seeing him all focus and busy and hot

Is really distracting

So like ur as useful as a broken button to him

He doesnt mind tho

He thinks ur cute

Also lovng the attnstion

But the thing about not helping

Not really

And being distracted by a cutie pie

Is that it's basicaly a disaster ending to happen so like

he's efficiently stirring up so hot stuff right

And ur like "man jun's some hot stuff"

And then BaaaaM

U knock over the damn chopping board with the knife and everything on it

Thank goodness the thing didn't chop through your foot of anything

And jun is like "oHMYGOSH DA HELL R U OK"

"... i- im sorry i knocked over ur potatoes"

"My poTaToeS! Listen rn im glad u didnt chop ur foot off"

Jun sighs and looks at the cubes of taters scattered on the floor

You frown, feeling useless

Both of u pick up ur mess

Jun puts down the kitchen utensils in hand

u picked up the last of the potatoes

"Hey we could always wash those, it's not like the floor is mud or anything, even then , potates came from mud"

"Yeah but im sorry, i wanst really helping in the first place"

Jun smirks, "nonsense! U were feeding my ego! That's enough for me!"

You snort and jun comforts u with a tight embrace

Hoshi

AlrighT fam

I thought of something pretty cute but pretty dumb for hoshi

He's like "imma do something super romantic for Christmas"

So he's like "wear something cute we gon do smth fun" @ u

So u do

U get a cute little red dress just for the occasion

And soonyoung his like "BRO MY GIRL SO SUPER CUTE"

And ur like a blushing mess cause he looks super excited with his big smile and cresent eyss

ahhh Hhh myHOSishiii fealzssmsmmsms

Anyway u think ur gonna go to some cute restaurant right

But hoshi brings u to the mall

To instead join the couples dancing contest

Soonyoung gets super nervouse at ur surprised reaction

He's like, "omg is this a super bad idea i thought it would be cute but like i guess not we dont have to go we could always just drop out"

You laugh and shake ur head, "no it's all good, but i mean like, we don't have a choregraphy, and im not like you who can just break it down."

Soonyoung lets out a breath and chuckles, "nah don't worry. It's not really a compation-competion, and regardless, they're going to show ius a choreo and the couple that best interprets wins a a romantic date for two, fit for a dancing king and queen"

And then u break into a big uwu

"Omg u are super romantic soonyoung"

He struts a pose and chuckles, "i mean, i try"

So you both participate in the contenst

Kinda zumba it out by folling the instructors

Soonyoung is helping you out with your form and explaining to you the steps

He gets a little competative so he doesn't really want to mess us

Up hearing you giggle when you do a s pin breaks his competative spirit

And all he really cares about is having a good time with you

Aleight

But admitedly

He was pretty annoyed when they annouced the winner

Were not the two off you

i mean you lot were the cutest it can gt

Who else could trump that

But then you both saw that the winners were 80 something yesr olds holding hand and looking at each other like the other was their world

and then soonyoung was like "okay valid"

You pout, "aww i hope we end up like that"

Soonyound and you turn to each other

He grins for ear to ear, "then lets go on a romantic date as well"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Wonwoo

LiNda

I hope you're ready for wonwoo 

Because i sure as hell am not 

So in case youre wondering 

Youre crazy I mean youre reading this arent you 

Prolly at midnight hi fam 

Again i dont make the rules 

Well just a btw Almost every 

Christmas tradition is pagan 

Like the tree 

The wreath 

And SANTA IS SO CREEPY YALL NEED TO GET UR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM 

SO MAYbe ur not all that crazy 

For not wanting to continue them on 

i mean sure u can give new meaning to things 

But you wanted none of that

 Which was whyyyy you decided to DIY the decorations to your entire house 

Nnd who else are you going to do that with other than your loving bb boyfriend wonwoo 

Wonwoo doesn't mind 

He thinks its cute 

Because it is a cute date idea 

Youtube tutorials 

Pinterest ideas and paper snowflakes and all 

Yeah 

so wonwoo is there cutting up some of the paper you folded 

You're glueing some popsicle sticks 

He's water coloring some designs in 

Youre pulling on the tape dispenser 

It's all going great 

"Jagiya... i don't want to sound mean but-"

 "They're all ugly as hell. I know Wonwoo." 

Wonwoo gives an apologetic look. 

For a moment u two dont speak 

And then you both brust into laughter 

"Aww whatever, lez stick em on!" 

And do you get your badly painted slowflakes 

Your wolf drawing 

"That's a wolf?" 

"Duh what else would it be wonwoo?" 

The letters that spelled merry chrsitmas 

And the doodle cutouts of the seventeen members 

in personalized ugly sweaters 

And placed them all over the place 

You look around basking in the glory of ur craft 

Its all very colorful 

And crafty 

And looking like a child made it 

Then like an imbecile 

U break into laughter 

"It looks like a kindergartener's classroom" 

U end up roasting yourself 

Making fun of your sloppy handwork 

And wonwoo watches u 

with adoring eyes

 "I almost forgot," wonwoo speaks up and pulls out a piece of paper 

You recive it from him and break into a smile 

"Is this us?" 

Wonwoo snorts, "no its jeonghan hyung in a dress holding my hand sweetheart"

For a moment u believe him

But then he breaks out into laughter

Woozi

Boi imma fite u

Christmas carols

Okay idek why i ended up so serious with wonwoo

But listennup

Im not about to maypke it crackier

so back to christmas carols

Dis boi is about to serande you with a christmas themed love song

So its around 8pm at night

Jihoon has is guitar

and ur just chilling right

and ur on ur phone letting him do his thing

but then from the floor he was sat on

he turns to you on the couch

And pats ur leg

"Yo i just finished my song u wann hesr"

You squeak and jump of the couch next to him

"Duh dummy!"

And he starts singing

He's talking about stars and warmth

He's spittin fire about the smell of hot choco

The  he's talking sbout how lame joshua's gingerbread house was

Next thing you know ur  crying

because omg that ginger bread houseWAS UGLY

also jihoooooooooooooon just serenaded you

Dont u just

Then jihoon catches you and panicks

"You okay? Why are you cryin?!"

"HowDARS YOU ASK ME THAT LISTEN UP U JUST SAID SOME SWEET WORDS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!"

JIHOON CALms down

But u crybaby cant stop crying

and of course jihoon panicks again

So he starts singing some other Christmas song

And then u start crying about poor rudolf

And remember regina george

But then eventually you calm down

And decide to nuzzle up against jihoon who replaced his guitar with you in his arms

Then us fall asleep with him sweetly singing about the spirit of Christmas

DK

 Liz gittit

Of course this ray of light just wants to give off energy to the world 

And since he 

And u u forgetful ass 

Forgot to go shopping for presents 

You decided to go on a dec 24th shopping trip! 

Hurrah! 

But it was too eady for u two 

Like wtf 

Gift giving Is suuch and easy task 

And shoping a day before Christmas 

pshhhhhhh 

Its a heartbeat

 "Whoever gets the best gifts gets for the best price gets to boss the other around until new year," seokmin grins 

You knit your brows deeply at his words 

And wonder what the hell he has in plan for him to think of doing something so ensnaring 

So being the smarter one in the relationship 

"Uh no??" 

Seokmin was like "ok then the other has to do whatever the other says for the entirety of Christmas" 

"???? Whyyyyy?" 

"Because its not challengeing or fun if there isn't any condition" "Ugh fine" 

So the two of you zip around looking for the best gifts you could get 

You try to stay away from the people doing their last minute shopping 

Seokmin doesnt dare go in between an old lady mouthing of another customer 

Tbh its super stressful 

wtf 

what kind of date is this 

Only morons would do this wtf 

Both of you got shoved constantly 

There wasnt really much space to move around 

And there wasnt really anything to choose from 

But hey guess what 

Seokmin found some really cool gifts 

"Daheck did u get that shirt?" 

"Isle five. There were a bunch of people grabbing some stuff and this fell to the ground and so i picked it up and thought it was pretty cool"

You on the other hand got like ok gifts 

I mean theyre not bad

 But da hell did dk get a frikin eeyore onesie idek 

It was no contest.  

Seokmin defo won 

"Yisss so i win therefor u have to make me some Christmas cookies tomorrow" 

"U ho did u really just make me suffer through that so you could ask me to make cookies 4 u???" 

"Yes but we really didn have gifts tho." 

U roll ur eyes 

Seokmin's face falls, "r... r u like mad @ me?" 

"Uhhhhhhhhhh" 

You knit your brows at him but release a smile when u see his nervous look 

"No babo. Im jusy tired, lezgo back home" 

He sighs and nods, kissing your cheeks 

"Dont worry baby, ill carry all of this back home" 

Which he does 

And when u get back 

He says he forgot something in the car

then comes bzck 

And then forcefully turns u around 

Ur about to protest

But the you realize he's putting on a silver necklace on u 

"Yahhhh seokminie, u shouldnt have. Where you even get this"

"I bought it a while back, duh" he chuckles then kisses you on the cheek 

"Merry christmas jagi" 

Mingyu  

You are a genius for getting boyfriend like mingyu 

uh and super lucky like fu-- 

BUT TODAY 

Ur extra glad that mingyu is 10ft tall 

Because ur going to be decorating your very own tree 

Wow 

You bought he prettiest glass ornamnets

 and the sparkliest streamers 

"I have a vision," u explain 

Mingyu nods in understanding 

U and him lift the tree into the living room 

And then u start decorating the tree from the bottom up 

Its all rly chill

 You lot are chatting about whatever 

He's tellling you about ur tour n stuff 

U put on some Christmas tunes for flare 

And then u stand up from the floor and boogey with each other 

Yall shake ur butts 

and go around the tree wrapping it in tinself 

Mingyu steals one of the ornaments from u

 and u try to take it back from him like the genius u are 

Except hes holding it over his head 

N u cant for the life of u reach his hand up there 

So u step on his foot 

And punch his stomach 

And he bends down in reaction 

In pain

Soz

He was asking for it

U steal the decor back 

Then he proceeds to chase u around because aparently ur the bully 

*instert pikachu meme here* 

N then u get back towork 

Or i mean take a break 

And u eat a bunch of holiday special junk 

And then u get back to work 

"ok nows for the star" 

U hand him the star because its the entire point of his existance

getting that star up ther 

with his longass arms 

He turns to u "u dont wanna put it" 

BOI 

u suck in a breath 

"I cant frIKICN REACH IT U LIL" 

He give a face, "there are ways" 

"My go-- just put the AHHHHHHH"

AND THEN THE NEXT THING U KNOW

 Hes crouching down pulling ur legs on his shoulders 

"MINGYU PUT ME DOWN" you say, about to rip of his face 

Mostly because u have nothi to hold onto

but he stands 

with u on his shoulders

and walks to the tree 

"Put the damn thing on before u fall!!" 

Wow its ur fault again

And screaming u put the star on 

And mingyu putz u down 

"Okay that was stressful" 

U punch him in the gut again 

The8  

Minghao is super tired 

But super looking forward to spending time with u 

So u defintely go on a date 

But its of the lazy movie watch variety

Im talking all the chesey romance movies 

Set in december 

that has like mistletoe kisses 

And snow scenes 

And also those holiday specials

 For catroons 

And non cartoons 

Even the one with arnold swartzimacallit 

You pull out the laptop 

And get on netflix 

There's popcorn on 

And hot tea 

Or whatever the hell 

Its all just very warm 

and u and minghao are wrapped together in a warm blanket 

Ur nestled in between is legs and ur super warm and cozy and im so soft bleh 

"Oh oh, u should see this part, its my fav--" 

But u stop uourself when u turn and see minghao fell asleep

 U coo and let him obvi 

taking unflattering pictures duh 

But also cute ones because 

#couplegoals 

He doesn't sleep through all the movies though 

You end up watching non christmas themed films too 

Like toy story4 

OKAY I CRIED AT THE ENDING 

PIXAR IS REALLY COMING FOR MY WIG 

"You look really cute cuddled up against me" he'll randomly blurt 

U feel ur cheeks brun at that 

but no he cant have that 

"I thought i was always cute" 

He chuckles and groans as he hugs u tightly 

U laugh at his reaction 

"Of course you're always cute" 

"Ok but the teddy bear u got me is actually cuter" 

"Nononono, the teddy is cute but uuu are cuter" 

"Were u always this gross?" 

Seungkwan 

Okay 

before u tell me these are getting worse and worse every passing member 

i would first like to say i know 

and  that seungkwan bought u a cute dress for Christmas 

and took u to a fancy restaurant 

Ok ur welcome 

But like even if it werent fancy 

U'd still like it 

cause holy guacamole 

imagine holding seungkwans hand as u walk around

Jsut being so head over heels

and super in love with the cutie

Groooossss 

LinDA 

The feeling is mutual for him when he's around u 

so he stops mid conversations 

just to take ur pic 

Its kinda annoyig 

but kinda cute 

"Hey unknow hansol told me about-- what are u doing"

 "No go on, im just talking ur picture"

 Literally the bst hype man alive 

Will make take dozen upon dozen photos of u 

And will make u pose for aethetics 

He will go on making sure everyone knows u da hottest ho in the place 

n ur like "seungkwan stfu u embarrassssing meee" 

And then oml  

Some moron tries to hit on u 

and seungkwan sqwares up ready to hit a fool 

would he actually do it i mean 

Like 

prolly Not 

but then again he looked really mad 

So u calm him down 

and u go bzck home 

And the cuddles 

"Baby girl im sorry if i embarrassed u"

 "Nah itz chill i mean i know u have good intentions"

U smile and he takes another candid phto of u

"Broooooo!!"

 "Im donnnr. Now hows about we get rid of that dress" 

Vernon  

okay im willing to guess hansol loves drinking hot chocolate in the winter

So he's like 

"Lets do a hot choco review" 

And buys 897 types of hot choco 

Or like ten 

wtf eight hundres pluss is too much 

So ur like okay i like hot choco 

and then he pulls out his phone and does a vlive 

"No i am not jealous of joshua hyungs vlive with his gf" 

Yall make like ten cups of hot choco 

and is chaotic 

Idek how u could get injured 

But hey 

It wasnt even the hot water invovled 

but the wrapping of the choco powder 

"Technical difficulties hansol is a big moron" 

U get him a bandaid

"Ya! I am not" 

Yall start reviewing anyway 

*insert try guys eugenes voice* 

Im rihght

 Ur wong 

Shut up 

After trying the first onw 

Ur like wow dis is good 

the second was even better 

The third one u hold

then u realized there were eight more cups 

And that u made so

much 

so u were like "omf there is too much "

then u debated whether or not calling seventeen to drink the rest 

But then hansol was like "ther isnt enough for themm"

Then ur like 

"okay whatabout making a super hotchoco" 

n vernon was like 

???? 

"THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVVER HAD" 

SO YALL GET A BIGASS POT 

MIX THE REST IN 

REALIZE U HAVENT RATED THE other cups

 Shrug it off 

and get a cup of the hot choco mix 

"Tastes like corn" 

"Bish dafaq" 

Dino 

Yikes 

so 

Chan is a dumb ho 

and got himself sick at Christmas so 

nononoono thats a no to any cute date ideas 

and its just you and him staying at home 

U personally dont mind 

but hes like "awww but i had so many ideas"

 but obvi U cant risk him getting any sicker than he already is 

So you stay home and take care of him 

and all he can do is complain about everything 

about the cold 

his runny nose 

The lack of taste of the food

 His head ache 

The fact his bed is hot 

And that fact that u have to take care of him 

And treat him like a baby 

"I am not a baby" 

"Listen up, u are always gonna be my baby" 

"Not u toooooo najsjsjjs" 

You make him some hot cocoa 

And hes like "im not drinking that if u call me baby again" 

"Babybabybabybabybaby" 

Ugghgg "If you keep doing that im not going to give u the gift i gotchu" 

"Well das on u" 

And then u end up going ona glaring contest 

Chan ends up giving it to u anyway 

"i hope u choke on it" he grumbles with insencerity 

U coo when u see that its a handwritten letter 

And then u end up crying because hes super soft

N ur super soft

And gahhh u love him so much

 Chan pats ur back because he doesnt want to get u sick if he hugs u  

U sniffle and wipe ur eyes 

"Who's the baby now, cry baby" 

You snarl and pinch his side 

And now i say

This was probably hecking bzd but i hope u enjoyed 

merry CHRISTMAS 

ITS MY FABORITE HOLiDAY 

TAKE CARE Of urselves mwaah

Support me on ko-fi

[hikaricotta]

Made this sketch when i was waiting for my bus from work, after getting inspired by @stevenyellowdiamonduniverse ‘s YDSteven.

This is how I envision Yellow Diamond’s half-human son, his name still being Steven.

He would wear Greg’s old greaser’s jacket(greg went thru a ‘greaser’ fase, meeting yellow diamond like that) and possibily canon’s steven’s t-shirt but with a broader neckline and a chain around his neck so people think the gem is actually a necklace.

His hair would be of a more light brown(blond-brown) and his eyes caramel or hazelnut colored.

Now for some information:

- Yellow diamond decided to come down to earth to try and find pink diamond’s Shatterer, understading her love for the planet a little later and falling in love with Greg when visiting a music store.

- YD!Steven is a little more mature than Canon!steven, making him actually look like 14 years old, but more silent and naive, not getting jokes easily and not much of a jokester either. He’s also not very keen of fighting, but he will loose control of his rage if he sees someone hurting someone he cares about, completly loosing his mind.

- Steven was born a girl, changing his body naturally into a boy while growing up, after not feeling confortable with his female body parts.

- Steven doesnt have much of emotional outbursts or even socializing, he has a fear of touching other people and always goes around with his hands in his pockets and/or wearing gloves, due to the fact that he cant control his powers very well in which they consist in electricity and the like.

- The crystal gems and rose still exist in this universe, Greg and Rose meeting each other and falling in love after toddler Steven had a tantrum big enough to cause an outage, in which the crystal gems thought it was a corrupted gem and ending with greg finally discovering why his son(daughter at the time) had a weird yellow preturbing thing on his chest that also glows every now and then, and that would brake every electronic that the baby would touch.

- “Human” Yellow Diamond is quite the rocker and savage gang leader in this AU, which made little Greg completly in love but also very unconfortable, even thought he was a greaser he wasnt the bully type.

Thank you for reading this and see ya next time!

[erixyin]

I gotta do it. I have something to say. It’s pissing me off

Ok yalllll.

*deep breath*

If you got problems, i dont mind being the shoulder you gotta cry on or the person you gotta ring. Im here for you. I will dedicate my time to you because i want you to feel better. Relationship not gone smoothly? I got you fam. Something scary happened like your ex ringing you up? Im here to bash some brains. You feeling unwell? Here is a hot water bottle and a cookie

But what i WILL NOT STAND FOR

I AIN’T YOU’RE THERAPIST, OKAY?

And i never will be, we both students and im expensive.

I appreciate we in a shitty time at the moment with the pandemic and all and im here if u want that long phone call or video chat but GIRL i have social batteries too.

I am an introvert. My social batteries run out rather quickly. 3hour video chat is fine but don’t expect another for at least 2 weeks.

Honey you text me everyday in big long paragraphs. I cannot respond. And i hate to leave you on read but im TIRED and i have other things i want to do.

You drained me bro.

Ive been getting tired at 8pm which is UNHEARD OF for me

Look i get it that you wanna dye your hair on video chat so that you dont mess it up while chatting with me. I dont have a problem with that hun.

But when you want another video chat a week later just to retouch up ya roots. NAH

I aint gonna pop on the phone or the video chat everytime the reason for your bad day and tears is because you ran out of pasta. Sis you have a car you can go to the store. You got a mask. You got gloves to wear. YOU’RE FINE

Also GIRL if i can dip dye my hair blue at 3am when im sleep deprived and crying with dim lighting and only one mirror and make it turn out to look hella cute, then you can retouch up your roots without ringing me for three hours

Bitch i also got problems too. I got stuff thats been bothering me. I know you are here for me if i want you to listen but i dont wanna dwell on them becaus ses i dont wanna cry everytime my nail polish chips

And before people come for me, i love this girl, I’d do anything for her. She is one of my closest friends. But let me HAVE A BREAK WOMAN

It’s a global pandemic, everyone be suffering in some way, everyone be strained, everyone be having a stressful time.

If i want peace and quiet and just to go offline for about three days i can AND I WILL. And it doesnt mean we in an argument it doesnt mean im not your friend. Sis it just means that im drained and i need time by myself ok

[i dont know why i wrote this on here because she don’t have tumblr but i really needed to vent ok]

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[ramblingshit]

Persuasion 1995

The incoherent rambling commentary of a 3am viewing.

we start in a boat -- wait have i done this one before -- who cares CIARAN HINDS BBYYYY. I have sheep too just in my front yard ya know. that's just how it be. here's some boats - i can see where they pasted the fake boats in teh background i love it .calm nice piano music. dude is cutting the lawn people out here with top hats and wigs. oh dear everyone pissy SHOW ME THE MONEYYYY. lots of wigs and coats and here's a lady in a turban she's definitely the worldy kind. sailors n shit sitting drinking wine and smoking. oh god who's this. i can't hear the dialogue over my laptop fan. this ol mate's a fop i hate his voice. oh dear he's supposed to be a moron huh. oh whoops the fop is a baronet and he is poorr lol sucked in he got debtss extreme debts you musssttt retreennnnnchh. the neighbours be tryna help out and hereeee is Anne eyy. wow eatin grapes and sorbet and they're goin to Bath. he hates sailors and now he has to be ol mate's tenant. ohh Anne knows about the admiral and this fop keeps talking nonsense. a lady with no children has the best furniture. WENTWORTH she gasps. and she is dramatic and sad, puts her tea down takes a breath by the window and comes back takes up her tea and sits down damn. aww Ann---OH 'since no one will want you in bath its best you stay here!' what a fkn bitch what is happening. ITS AUNT PETUNIAA. naww anne is so cute and petite and so miserable. her sister looks cruel and stupid and her dad is just as bad honestly. damn they got Greek statues in their giant house. her sister. is. a . bitch. fuck me. give her like two lists and tells her to go visit everyone in the parish. damn all the peeps glared at him as he left like give us the money you foppish twat. Poor Anne, that is a fkn big ass house. everyone's watching em leave. ohhh cows. oop packing up the house, sheets over the furniture, she's lucky they got like a thousand servants. she's found something in teh box - it's a letter in the shape of a boat ooh i wonder who its from. she's been miserable for years; she hates Bath; her mum's dead and everything went to shit after that - her dad's a moron, her sister's a bitch, she's out here gonna fixedly avoid risking meeting him. Lady Russell - she's the one tsk tsk. oooh Annneeeee she is persuaded despite disapproval and anxiety of his prospects - she was 19 and she wanted to fuck and Lady Russell told her to fuck him off because he was a peasant damn fuck Lady Russell; she just brushes Jane off like shut up little girl I'm right you're wrong move on dumbass. And Anne's like, did you not hear me - i literally just tried to tell you I hate my fucking life and I miss him and I love him and I kinda resent you for telling me to say no. More sheep and a puppy, and close up view of sheep. dad and sister got to ride in a fancy carriage and Anne has to ride in a wagon that's a bit rough. I like her bonnet. oh my god her sister i love her. 'i am soooooooo ill' - she's searching for attention; lonely and miserable and sad and a little bitter. Mary you poor girl leave Anne alone none of that emotional manipulation. 'oh i was very well yesterday, it's just today' yeah alright. sounds like Charles isn't as rich as the Elliots and Mary's not happy about it.  ohh i know this lady and of course Anne can play piano very well and everyone knows it -- Mary tryna cut in like yes i'm as accomplished as Anne and they're awkward like ehhhh but we like watching you dance and Anne doesn't dance so there you go and she sits there with an awkward cringe 'no'. Mary goes off and sulks and Charles rolls his eyes. The Musgroves are rich and friends ohmygod Mary don't be embarrassing in your bitterness yikes and we cut and Mary was there but now Mrs Musgrove and Anne are sitting in teh same spot - I like Mrs M's dress, even the lace around her shoulders that matches the hat I don't know it just seems refined or something. There's lots of very swift conversations - good pace just like my fingers and brain can't keep up yo. Yikes Mrs M thinks Mary is a shit mum; Mary says Mrs M riles em up with lollies; Charles says Mary interferes and fancies herself ill; Mrs M tells the kids are so naughty the only way to keep em chill is to feed them cake; dunno who this girl is (Henrietta?) anyway the brown haired petite one, they're sitting in the window, Anne's finished her tea by now damn how is she so casually moving from person to person how long have they been chillin with the Musgroves? anyway she's tea-less and talking with brown-haired-possibly-Henrietta: wants Mary to stop being rude over Mrs M even though she has precedent to no one likes her for it; blondish sister now and Anne's got more tea and this one says Mrs M's not one for etiquette she just wants cake lmaooooo; Mary is superior and wants her to persuade Charles that she is very very ill. Anne and Charles sigh on the couch together. Now only Charles has got a tea. okay never mind Mary's a bit more like her sister than I thought. oh my god kids ew. it's petunia looking high as a kite ahaha i wish i was her naw petunia was like idc bout your sister I wanted to meet you btw ol mate is married and Anne's like kill me now I guess. she's horrified, shocked, wants to find an ant hill to bury herself in. god mary's a bitch i take back everything i said about her but all is well Anne has a new friend. she's got a very good memory, Anne does, naw and she's good with her nephews. what's this girls name plz tell me oh it is Henrietta. oh damn they're invited to the house tonight to 'meet Mr Frederick WEntowORTH by ALL aCOunts a most CHarMinG anD agreEable GeNtlemAn' Anne could not look more uspet. fixing her hair in the mirror - there's boys screaming ohh no a child what's happened oh god Mary's screaming for Anne the boy has broken his collarbone - she's knowledgeable chatting with the doctor - Charles marches in like wtf my dumbass kid out here falling out of trees - it's his first born the kid looks so fkn miserable that's hilarious now he's off to dinner cause -- oh damn i forgot they wear gloves. this kid's just lying there. ahah Mary doesn't give a fuck about her kids she just wants to be in on everything -- damn--"you are the properest person to sit with the boy. but you haven't a mothers feelings, have you?' like BITCH she's just offered to sit here so you can go to dinner and you're out here being a fucking cunt for no reason? gtfo. and the scene just changes with that damn savage leave Anne be she deserves better than this. oh damn i know that cheekbone. Anne's been out here watching this kid all night like literally and Mary shrugs off that Wentworth barely asked after her because they're barely acquaintances and says he and Charles are out shooting and Anne's tense like uhh they're not coming here tho right and just as Mary's like nah BAM SURPRISE BITCH o no O NO and THERE HE IS DRAMATIC ZOOM HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED, HE BARELY GLANCES AT HER, doesn't talk to her, she grips the chair tight fuck he's hot. another swift glance and he's gone. dramatic zooms all around. Mary returned, didn't even look at her injured child who has a big ass cut on his face who's just sitting in the corner looking plain and miserable and wentworth - "you were so altered he would not have known you again' - scene cuts to her sitting in front of a mirror looking fucking sadddddd. they're all at dinner together fuck me he is so hot my god. the girls are all over him and he's enchanting everyone with his stories and of course the reason why he first went out comes up and he's like 'i was extremely keen... to be at sea. i was extremely keen. i badly wanted to be doing something.' the PAIn in his eyes, the tight swallow as he turned to listen to the Admiral, who sits Right next to Anne who's sorta just sitting with wide eyes staring at the salad bowl. then the admiral leans over 'when a man has no wife he wants to be afloat again' and she's like yeah wow ah ha ha ah 'yes well i had no wife - pity the essex (?? dunno what that means but I GET THE POINT)" and then he looks at her properly for the first time and i want to die and she wants to die and he wants to die and we are all quite miserable where we are BUT WE ARE ONLY A HALF HOUR IN and we move on talkin bout his ship crap just wait im eating chocolate but i have many thoughts. sorry honestly theres no time to take a breath in this movie i love it but damn it doesn't give one enough time to write and snack. RIGHT - ol mate's declared he'll never have a woman on his ship because its not pink and frilly enough and petunia's stepped in like fkn excuse me m8 wanna say that again? and also is Anne and petunia related because they are looking very similar to me right now??? they're not related. alright pulling us back yet again, I'm so sorry this is a mess I'm eating chocolate at 1 am and watching Persuasion, I think you can guess how my day has been. they keep talking about him getting married and he laughs and jokes it off and then excuses himself like yeah real smooth yeeting yourself outta here dude at that certain topic hanging around. naww the only time petunia felt scared or bad was when she was away from her husband this is adorable. ol mate's tryna play the piano to the amusement of the girls, sees Anne sneaking up to listen and immediately hurries outta there, face pale never moved so fast in his life i bet and they all follow him and she just sits down and starts playing while everyone dances. for people who were so refined they danced like crazy people --- 'no never she has quite given up dancing' Wentworth's face falls and he looks at her and she looks away from him come on guys you are hurting me. some guy has just rocked up who the heck is Henry - a cousin? who is not --- 20,000 pounds fuck me. Charles and Mary; wait we're talking about Henry. oh my god, they're planning who's gonna marry who - Henrietta and lousia and henry and wentworth 'what say you Anne, which one is the Captain in love with? she laughs slightly - I've never seen someone so depressed before in my life, at least not in a romance . this is actually a really sad story ya know, Wentworth got rejected and fled to sea; and Anne rejected him and became depressed about it for years. damn. anyway these girls can't go anywhere without Mary butting in, now they're going for a long walk or something and Mary's forcibly inserted herself and they look at each other and the poor kid is sitting with his arm in a bandage that goes round his neck? with that scratch on his face and adorable little round glasses sitting at the table with some cake and a puzzle he's doing with Anne like please don't abandon the suffering child has he even had any panadol?? Who the hell is looking after this kid if they're all going on this long walk - now Charles and Wentworth too. Charles helps two of em over, Wentworth helps Louisa over the fence, and Anne has to help herself over, which she does without hesitation good girl you do you fam. yikes Charles and that are going to Winthrop or something where Charles' aunt lives and Mary's offended to have such connections and refuses to go and assures Wentworth she's only been there twice and he half-smiles politely. louisa came running up to take Wentworth wherever and he like turned around to look at Mary and Anne and Anne fkn spun around to avoid him just generally so smooth these two so smooth. Anne's looking around at like anything and everything except him. every time he's nearby she tenses up and skitters around like she's tryna hide in plain sight but also stand tall and brave and staring straight at him like she wants him to look at her so badly. 'we all wish that charles had married anne instead' 'did charles want to marry anne' 'did you not know' 'you mean she refused him' 'yes' ... 'my parents think it was Lady Russell's doing, that my brother not being philosophical enough for her taste she persuaded Anne to refuse him.' ohhhhhh. damn. Wentworth is very quiet. Mouth tight. Brow low. Anne's freaking out down the hill. Mary's just stolen her spot. Christ. It's chaos. Anne's stumbling along she's tired she's sad she's got the depression her sister's a nightmare, WEntworth doesn't care about her, she cares about him, everything is awful and she trips over some sticks and he turned to look at her, concerned out of his thoughts. Hey petunias back with her carriage and they're offering a seat and Wentworth like rushes over and whispers for them to take Anne and she catches it like wtf confusion she goes to protest and suddenly He's AT her SIDE and he doesn't even say anything and he leans his head down to hers for a moment with a gentle look on his face, putting a hand to her back and her brain just shuts down as he leads her to the carriage and hold her hip tight as he helps her up and she looks around in shock and he's staring straight forward like everything is chill and doesn't look at her again. oh wait petunia is wentworth's sister damn awesome but she doesn't think very well of him. oh they're going to Lime and they ask if Anne can come and I think Wentworth choked on his tea a little bit. and here's some establishing shots : the ocean. Some rocks with seaweed on them. The shittest 'beach' ive ever seen there's like boulders everywhere where's the sand? is that a teepee of seaweed? what Wentworth looks pretty happy about it though like he wants to jump in. I like Charles he's a funny dude. Wow that is one helluva hat Wentworth. All these fancy people going into a sailor's home like etiquette is what but everyone is chill with it except Mary of course. is Anne supposed to have her bonnet off? o no now she's chosen to be the nice depressed girl who tries to talk to the weird depressed guy who is too into poetry about death. cute they're all shoulder to shoulder around the guy's table. she starts getting the hint that this guys a bit off 'you cannot know the depths of my despair.' damn son get a therapist. ohh shittt 'you have no conception of what i have lost' 'yes I have' she says, and Wentworth is sitting there smoking what could be a blunt who can honestly say and he heard the whole thing. Wentworth and Louisa are doing a whole lot of hanging out.  Like every time they actually speak to each other feels like a momentous occasion - they literally just said 'good morning' to each other and it feels like such a big step and her heads down and he's watching her BIG STEPS --oh shit some blonde haired guy that im sure will come up later tipped his hat to the girls and then Anne and Wentworth was coming up behind her and she looked over her shoulder to look at the BLondie but wentworth thought it was at him and he SMILED to himself nawwww. that looks like the house from Pride and Prejudice ahaha. whoop Blondie's back and she looked back at him again and now they're at breakfast ohmyGadh his eyes sparkle when he looks at her the few times he looks at her my god they're talking about Blondie who is apparently their cousin or something and he and mary and anne's father aren't on good terms and she tells Mary so and he looks over his bowl with those fkn sparklllinggg eyes and a playful smile and it doesn't even matter what he says just that look and he drinks his soup and licks his lips and looks up at her and she's just staring but like calmly not even freaking out and she lowers her eyes to her toast and just chills like all is well.  whoop i think weird depressed guy is gonna propose but before he can whats up we're helping girls down some scary stairs yikes i'd sit my ass down going down those things. Louisa is being crazy oh fuckkkk ahahaha hahaSPLAT holy shit oh fuck weird depressed guy is standing in the background with his hands over his mouth Anne is in there with Charles and Wentworth damn she'd 100% be a doctor nowadays, Louisa the dumbass has smashed herself on the cobblestones and WEntworht is just freaking out and he is looking straight to Anne who is giving straight smart orders and he is following them without hesitation - the other women are crying they're all sitting around her while the doctor does like... something and Anne's the only one like hey we have shit to do like people gotta hear about this we don't have phones and her speaking makes Wentworth speak and Charles is in shock cause its his baby sister whose hurt. Once again she's looking after the injured person and she walks out and Wentworth is talking to Charles 'I think it should be Anne - no one so capable as Anne--' he cuts off when he sees her coming in 'I-we-you'll stay, won't you?' he stammers as she enters holy fuck my heart can't handle...they're just staring into each others eyes; in any other context man. he clarifies himself but fuck if they didn't think it. ah fuck Mary is so annoying crying that she should be the one to stay with Louisa like bitch you didn't even give a shit about your injured son let alone your sister-in-law wtf she needs a slap why are they listening to her. 'If only I -- if only--' he cries in the carriage 'yes.' Anne said, looking at him sadly. 'Anne... I regret that...' he looks at her once and again and again and she lowers her eyes and holds the sleeping Henrietta close. like honestly i feel like there's no problem writing their dialogue cause there is just so little of it and when it does happen all of it means everything. but anyway she doesn't answer him and I am sad and he is sad. 'damned foolish' he sa---wait holy shit SCREAAAAAAAMINGgGg fucking hell grab your torches and pitchforks Mrs Mudahwhatver is screaming and Wentworth is riding off in the rain and once again Anne is all alone and she stays up just walking around all night and playing the piano and yay Louisa is conscious and Anne continues to be depressed poor girl and you can tell because its raining. and its still raining and they're not back-- wait now she's in Bath and her fop father and bitch sister are lounging irritatingly and he says he's happy for her to have come because it will be an advantage to have four at dinner. things are white and gold - clean and unhomely and too perfect and the fop is calling everyone ugly - they're eating sorbet again ahaha yum. god they all look bored and miserable and here's blondie come to greet them and he glances at Anne, processes and then snaps back to stare at her in astonishment he's got nice hair and he continues to stare damn and she's so confident she just smiles and stares back I'm so jealous she can do that. oh mygod they're having an intimate conversation in front of her shitty family dude i know he'll probs turn out like a wickham character but one can have hope. damn that jaw-line tho. hmmm lady russell is back. i hate her hair. metal cups are odd - they make sense but so strange. Russell's got plans man Anne's telling her about how her bitch sister is after Blondie and Russell laughs and pats her cheek. Oh yay it's petunia! aw she hears the admiral is in poor health and she's immediately like what's wrong here come get some water. damn bitch sister 'she is nothing to me' damn whats about the screaming and the random rage bursts damn. oh and here's a viscountess why are they always fucked. Blondie and Anne are in the corner flirting crazily I know he's bad but like you can't fake this chemistry no one's that good. and suddenly she's surprised?0oh my god that suit. Mrs Smith oh my god she's adorable she and Nurse Rook are gossipers hell yeah 'there are no secrets in Bath' naw this better not be a Helen situation come on guys - oh fuck Louisa is gonna marry weird depressed guy?? and Anne is freaking thrilled. damn it rains a lot here. far out hats are crazy. Here's Blondie. Anne's so used to being verbally abused by her sister she doesn't respond -----holy damn its Wentworth walking down the street. Penelope is n---- oh fuck he just walked in -- she took a breath with her back to him then spun around HOWDY he looks shocked and delighted and she hse ewihpewjihp oh my god they love each other and they're so nervous and uncertain about it oh my god so awkward and cute please trying to go through the etiquette script oh no so cute 'im already armed for Bath' he grins and she laughs ----oh no. ... oh shit. Blondie just showed up and she just accepted Wentworth's umbrella everything was going so well stop awwww nooo his face falls, her face falls everything is awful. standing all solemn and glum by the window and all dressed in white looking shiny and gorgeous her little sack bag is weird but. and who is she looking for, I wonder. The family is standing awkward---there he be. tall and commanding and hmhmmm i love a man in uniform - she steps in front of him as he tries to pass him by. asks him if he's come for the concert - 'no ive come for a lecture on navigation am i in the wrong place' damn son no he's so good at making her laugh she never laughs oohh her family have to bow to him interesting - he's asking her how she's been since Lime I love them talking he starts on about being concerned about weird depressed guy getting married to Louisa because of his depression about his dead fiance 'a man does not recover to such a devotion to such a woman - he ought not; he does not' i'm sorry was that a declaration of love m8 omg Anne knows it too 'i should like to see it again' 'would you i would've thought i mean the distress, too painful' 'but when the pain is over...' dudes DUDES guys please guys 'It was my doing solely mine - Louisa would not have been obstinate if i had not been weak - Anne, I have never--' GUYS NO the fucking viscountess wandered in ruining everything and now he's gone please come back who cares about this lady singing i mean the candles look cool and but stop honestly who cares bring back Wentworth. omg fop is asleep, Anne and Blondie are bantering and she's not realising that she's pushing into flirting, again my god silly silly innocent naive and entirely relatable lol help. but there's Wentworth standing all tall and handsome in the corner and he looks so sad and meanwhile Blondie is like tryna propose and Wentworth is tryna yeet outta there and she's sprinting over to him tryna block his way tryna convince him to stay HOW THE TURN TABLES 'the next song is beautiful its a very beautiful love song is that not worth your staying for.' 'there's nothing worth my staying for.' kill me. Blondie needs to like there's no way he couldn't tell.  Yay Charles is here! oh and Mary lol. Lol everyone is making decisions on what Louisa and Henrietta are gonna wear on their wedding day except they themselves?? And here is ol mate sweeping int eh room, smile briefly falling at the sight of Anne but everyone's happy to see them yay. mate what he just swept over to her talking softly ohmhwy god i don't think they've said anything directly to each other in their lives its all round the bend and metaphors and insinuations please kill me i love it he picks at her that she says she doesn't like the parties her family and Blondie give; 'they mean nothing to me'  she has nothing in common with them and dislikes how they are, they're smiling at each other - oh shit Mr Elliott is out there meeting with her sister's friend or whatever now fkn Russell's tryna PERSUADE (ahaha) her into marrying Elliot 'that is not what I want!' Russell is shocked. now he's here looking stiff and snappy and awkward because the admiral has told him to invite her and her newly engaged Mr Elliot to his house and oh my god poor ol mate he wants to yeet away into the sunset goodbye world fuck you all 'if you wish it all you have to do is give me a yes or a no and we are both released' 'the admiral is too kind...' 'just say it: yes or no.' fuck you jane austen. Anne is overwhelmed and stormed off Russell faces Wentworth, he sneers her name, she smiles serenely 'You have an extraordinary ability to discompose my friend sir' , he twitches ' you have an extraordinary ability to influence her ma'am for which I find it hard to forgive you.' damn and then the scene ends damn.  she's run off to Mrs Smith and Nook I love em she's ranting about everyone thinking she's gonna marry this guy and they're astonished and relieved cause he is poor and living on loans - he wants her for her money, title and lands thank god she's got her friends eyyy yasss. naw petunia and mrs musgrove are here my favs. Wentworth is writing a letter. whever they're in the room she can't help but look at him. she's talking with weird depressed gyu's fiance's brother - he's bitter that he's moved on so fast - she wouldn't have, its not in her nature, 'it would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.' 'do you claim that for your sex?' 'we do not forget you as soon as you forget us.' blah blah about women being stuck at home because people were shit to us back then fuck the patriarchy and all that. Fiance's brother says women and men are the same in being inconstant and forgetting those they love or have loved. Their convo gets interrupted by Wentworth knocking the whatever it is that they sprinkle over ink to dry it off the table and everyone's like dude the fuck we don't own vacuum cleaners you know. Fiance's brother says he's not read a book in his life that didn't have something to say on women's fickleness. 'but they were all written by men.' she argues. they laugh.  he's on about going off to sea and being the victim cause he has to leave his family behind and boohoo it's so hard for me to be away from them even though i'm the one choosing to go away. yikes too close to home. anyway lolol. She says that above all, women are the ones who love the longest when all hope is gone. they all left, he snuck back and put out a letter on the desk, gave her a look and then left. she pretty much threw herself at it OH MY GOD THE LETTTTTTTTERRRRRRRR dudes dudes dudes dudes deud ed dud oh ymf theihwhes 'where are you going' 'i hardly know' ihowyiqruhoijpfg0hurbj3ifjpgrn Charles just keeps on standing between them and chattering finally gets it tips his hat and trots off wringing his hands. those eyes - he offers a hand, he takes it - i tried to forget you, i thought i had. they kiss very slowly, very gently, very chastely. his hair all windswept like that is very becoming - the way she slowly ran her hands over his arm before tucking it into his --- aand now there is a very random festival procession what and they're walking down the empty street. okay cool fine. she wanders into the gaming room or whatever, the camera mans shadow spreading all over the place, her sister grabs her and tells her not to monopolise wentworth - there's another war coming? oh how romantic. 'MY PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO YOUR DAUGHTER ANNE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED.’ he fucking beams. everyones shocked. 'Anne? You want to marry anne, whatever for?' he just grins at the fop. And now she's on a ship and they're sailing off to war, oh how romantic. and there you go.

--

ya know before this 1-3am viewing i wouldve given this a 4/5 or even 4.5/5, but now I’m gonna give it a 3/5. there’s just something about it thats a bit... idk. still really like it but also.. yeah.

[rigginsstreet]

so if hals not chics father....and fps not chics father.... then whos flying the plane ???? 

um i need more hal x hermione scenes like yesterday

was bravo’s andy cohen just hiding waiting to make a dramatic entrance? me

SO WHEN IS MARK OR MARISOL SHOWING UP ON WWHL HMM???? ALL DAMN SEASON IVE BEEN WAITING. rude is what it is. omg put them both on. i want them all drunk on live tv right now

kevins gonna grow up to be andy cohen you heard it hear first

fred being concerned about the soul of the south side :’)

“we tell YOU what to do” hooooo my god why do yall pay hiram and hermione DUST my bisexuality cannot handle this theyre so hot

toni that was a striptease not a cheer wtf is anyone on this squad ever doing ever

and like.... every girl in this school wants to be a cheerleader??? fake news

“you go about your business, i go about mine” is essentially the same fucking line fp used back in s1 about him and fred splitting so like.... do with that what you will

this sleepover scene is so cringey lmfao stop

“theres a stranger in my life as well” yeah that you invited im supposed to feel sorry for that bitch? i dont

oh penelopes so homophobic and the heather thing scarred cheryl for life but toni can sleep in her bed ??? bitch bye

ch*ni couldve been great but this stupid fucking plot for how theyre doing it ruined the whole thing so....what else is new

the more murderous penelope gets the hotter she gets. can we cover her in blood at some point that would really get my engines going

like shes in an elegant dress with her hair all done and shes got blood on her face that she wipes with her gloved hand but all it does it smear it even more and she’s got this dark grin on her face.... im wet

“my uncles wearing my fathers pajamas. he pushed my grandma down the stairs” sound logic

the wisest thing jugheads said all season is about being concerned the lodges will close down the only gay bar in riverdale aka the whyte wyrm

what riots? did i miss something? probably. idk what the fuck ever happens on this show lmao

WHY IS FP NEVER FUCKING WORKING WHEN I NEED HIM TO BE BITCH GIVE ME THE FP X MARY SCENE I DESERVE

hermione got her titties all out for her gf mary. bless

i knew we werent gonna get shit with the lodge/andrews sitdown why did i even hope.... i hate this show

hermione in glasses yas queen

how many times are they gonna say war in this episode

chic ratting out betty (i just wrote batty jfc but i mean... yeah) is the best chics ever been

alice you killed a guy maybe nows not the time to pass judgement

there is no way theres 12 burgers in that bag fp cant count

is it raining everywhere except fp and jughead specifically ??? 

OH WOW. FP ACTUALLY REMEMBERED HE HAS A WIFE ? CRAZY. WILD. CANT BELIEVE. SO MAYBE STOP THIS BULLSHIT WITH ALICE YOU FUCK

jughead went to south side high for like 2 days what is he reminiscing about

911 I JUST WITNESSED A FUCKING MURDER !!!! the greatest decision i ever made was coming out of the womb stanning molly ringwald

me imagining fp and alice fucking really just consists of fp being really drunk and crying about fred so... i mean go off i guess

“doesnt it look bad to have grown ups go after teenagers” YEAH, IT DOES. IT REALLY REALLY DOES RAS

fp still calls archie red even when he’s about to beat his ass.... wholesome

FREDERICK, WHERE ART THOU

this is so dramatic i cant

ngl kinda want fred and mary back together they cute. also i want molly ringwald around all the time even if they cant afford her

“come what may” that sounds a bit too much like some foreshadowing for bad shit i uh..... am scared

[queerspaceprince]

I found an old poem of mine and edited it a bit here ya go

'Existance' Somewhere there exists a girl. She is kind, and soft, and sweet, And a reader, a lover of books. She would read every one if she could People say she looks just like her mother. She doesn't know what to think. Some place in the world there is a boy. He is shy, and peaceful, and small, He is adventurous, dreaming of planets unknown. He would wander the galaxy forever, Trailing after him stardust and clouds. Nobody notices him. Connecting them is one person. They are creative, and caring, and bright. Protective of the people they love, Even if those people overlook them. They feel too small to make a difference. They want to find a purpose. Three people, so very much alike. Simalar in so many ways, yet still different, Each unique in their own right. All existing on the same Earth. Seperate, but never apart. They like being themselves and each other. The only downside to their lives, Is that that have to exist together, Stuck in the same body, unable to change. Each wishing to fit their own mold. But they can't leave each other. Sometimes the Girl in control. She is the happiest of them, She loves her body, which amazingly Fits her, like the perfect glove. She wished to make the others just as happy. The In Between doesn't hate their body. They like how soft they look some days Like when they can look in between. But they still feel wrong sometimes. They don't feel like they can complain. The Boy has it much worse than them. When he has control his body is wrong, The opposite of what he need to exist. He deals with his problem though. He binds his chest and wears button ups. But that doesnt make it right. Nobody knows that they share. Most people are content being one thing. With having a solid identity. But it wasn't their fault, it is how they are made. They didn't ask to be a river. But they still follow the tides. They wouldn't change who they are. They get along fine with each aspect of themself Compensating, trying to feel whole. They have tricks to help them feel right. But perfection doesn't exist. Dysphoria comes as a storm. Turing the river into a rushing waterfall, Full of doubt and self-loathing. Certain things help calm the storm, But sometimes it just keeps raining. They push through the floods Of anxiety and doubt and fear. Giving themself a bowtie for the Boy, A beanie for the In Between, A skirt for the Girl. They persist. And they live.

[iampinksim]

An untitled Fairy Tail fanfic I’m working on at the moment. Dont know if I’ll finish it or not. I think I’ve spelled some names wrong, maybe some spells even but like I said, its not finished.

"I hope this bruise goes away soon." Lucy whines. "Its so annoying." "What bruise?" Gray asks, sitting down across from Lucy at the guild hall table. "I got a bruise on our last job and it still hurts." "You should embrace it." Erza says walking up next to the table. "It shows you've done a job well. A warrior's wound if you will. I have a few myself." "Yeah but its huuuurtsss!" "Come on Lucy, would you stop whining already? Geez." Gray says rolling his eyes. "Uhm darling..." Juvia starts. "Where are your pants?" "What!?" Gray looks down. "Ah!" Erza smiles and walks away.

"Hey guys whats up?" Happy asks as he flies up to the table, Natsu behind him. "Lucy says she has a bruise." Gray answers. "A bruise?" Natsu repeats. "Where?" "On my side." Lucy answers. "Its - wha- HEY!" Natsu grabbed the hem of Lucy's shirt and began to lift it. Lucy blushes and then stands up quickly. "Hands of perv!" She yells and kicks him. "Oww!" Natsu says. "What was that for? I wanted to see how bad it was. Was just gonna tell ya to get it checked out. You didnt have to kick me." "You didnt have to pull my shirt up!" Lucy screams. "You could have just told me you idiot!" Natsu pouts and rubs the back of his head, now sitting two tables away on the floor. "Hey Natsu," Wakaba comes up behind him. "Yeah?" Natsu continues to rub his head. "There's someone lookin for ya?" "For Natsu?" Gray asks. "Who is it?" Natsu asks too, standing up. "I dont know. Just went into town to grab some new smokes and I heard someone say there's been someone walking around asking for you." "Hm. Wonder who it could be." Erza says. "And what would they want with Natsu?" "Dunno." Wakaba shrugs. "Natsu, do you have any idea who it could be?" Lucy asks him. "No idea." Natsu turns to Wakaba. "Was this person a person or dragon?" "You really dont hear yourself talk do you?" Gray says shaking his head. "Hm, wellll. No one's said anything about a dragon." Wakaba rubs his chin. "So its not Igneel." Natsu says to himself. "I wonder-" The guild hall doors open then. Natsu's group and Wakaba look over. A girl with dark skin, reddish black hair, black pleated skirt, a red bralette and black books walks in. She's also wearing finger-less red gloves. There's a guild symbol on her stomach on the left side but Natsu doesnt recognize it. She looks around the guild, right hip cocked to the side with her hand resting on it. "Whose that?" Gray speaks up. "No idea." Erza says. She steps forward. "Excuse-" The girls eyes landed on Natsu. She stands up straight then and smiles wide. "Natsu!" "Huh?" Natsu says, taken aback. Who is this? "Natsu!" She starts to run towards him. "I've been looking for you!" "Uhm..." Natsu watches her as she gets closer. Do I know her? Her brown eyes lower, she smirks and then she brings her left hand up, fist curled and swings at Natsu. The blow sends Natsu hitting the bar. The guild is now watching on and some of them gasp and start murmuring. "Who is that chick?" "Did she really just hit Natsu for no reason?" "Knowing him its probably for a reason." "Yeah, you're probably right." "Who walks into a guild and attacks one of its members?" "Whats going on?" "She sent Natsu flying! Who is she?" The girl crosses her arms and smirks. "Are you just gonna sit there and stare at me?" She says. "Do something. I dare you." Natsu blinks a few times. He jumps up and roars. "Alright," He growls taking his fighting stance, glaring the girl down. "You want a piece of me?" She scoffs and shakes her head, hip cocked and hand on her hip. "I just told you to hit me." "Fine." Natsu says. "You asked for it!" Natsu rushes her and his fist is on fire. He stretches his arm out to hit her but she dodges it. Natsu growls again. He continues to try and punch her but she dodges every one. "Stop running away and fight me!" The girl chuckles. "You cant even touch me!" "Oh yeah!?" "Fire dragon - talons!" The girl quickly moves to the side and laughs. "Argh, face me like a man!" Natsu yells. "I know she started it but she's a girl Natsu." Lucy says exasperated. "Who the heck is this crazy chick?" Gray says. "Why did she just come in here and sucker punch Natsu like that?" "It is quite strange." Juvia agrees. "Do you think they know each other?" Lucy asks. "She was smiling before. Then all of a sudden - AHHH!" Lucy jumps to the side. "Hahaha!" Natsu laughs. The girl crashes into one of the tables, breaking it. She groans and sits up. "Fire dragon - Brilliant Flame!" The girls eyes widen. She covers her face with one of her arms. When the flames disappear, she's covered in a few scratches but otherwise unharmed. Some of the guild members notice and began to wonder who she really is and why it didnt affect her. Natsu of course pays no mind. He lands in front of her, looking down, arms crossed a grin on his face. "Had enough yet?" He asks her. The girl makes a growling noise in her throat. She's up in a flash and her and Natsu go crashing to the ground together. "Natsu!" Gray yells. The girl has her arms around his neck. Natsu was one second from pushing her off to continue to fight but, She has tears in her eyes. "Wait, are you crying?" Natsu asks, befuddled. "Did I hurt you?" The girl lowers her head and shakes it. "No I ... I'm fine its just ..." Natsu sits up and the girls drops her arms. She curls her hands into her skirt keeping her head down. "I just missed you is all." She says. "I probably should have greeted you more properly." There was silence and then, "HUH!?!?" Coming from the whole guild. "Thats what she calls greeting!?" Natsu hums. He crosses his arms and legs. "You're really tough." Natsu says. "I saw you raising your arm up to hit me but I didnt think I would go flying into the wall." "Sorry about that." "He doesnt care!?" "So who are you?" Erza says. "I demand to know why you charged into our guild and attacked one of our members? Who sent you?" "No one sent me." The girl stood up and dusted off her skirt. "I came on my own. I've been looking for Natsu." "Why?" "We're old friends." She answered smiling again. "Old friends? Who punches their friend in the face when they've not seen each other in a while?" Lucy says. The girl laughs. She puts her hand on the back of her head. "Sorry. I just got so excited when I saw him. I couldnt help myself." "Excited!?" "Whats your name? Where did you meet Natsu?" Gray asks. "My name is Kaia." She bows. "I'm sorry for the trouble I caused. Forgive me." "Its fine." Erza says. "Now tell me how you know Natsu." "Well see, I was out one day on a job and I...kind of got in over my head." She chuckles. "I was supposed to find and get rid of some forest vulcans that had been disrupting a village. Normally, I'd have no problem fighting them but I ... I caught a cold. I took on the job anyway though. I found them and beat them but then...they called for backup. I thought I could take them on but there were more than I could handle I guess." She looked down at Natsu who was still seated on the floor. "Then out of nowhere, Natsu came. I dont know why he was there but if it wasnt for him, I might have been a goner." "I see." Erza says. "Natsu you did that?" Happy asked. "I dont remember doing that." Natsu shrugs. The girl laughs. "You're so silly Natsu." "He's not joking around ya know." Gray says. Natsu stands. "So we've met before huh?" "Yeah." "And I saved you from that pack of monkeys?" "Yeah." "So I rescue you and you attack me!? Who does that!?" Natsu growls, pressing his forehead against the girls. "You're the one who went and got me all excited!" She yelled, pressing back. "That doesnt make any sense!" Natsu yelled. Natsu and the girl continue to argue. Everyone in the guild turn white with exhaustion but confusion. "Its hard to believe he doesnt know her when he's fighting with her the way he does with Gray." Macao says. "Yeah." Wakaba nods. "I have to say it is weird." Gray says. "Gray your clothes!" Juvia screams. "Crap!" "Alright thats it!" Natsu yells. "You and me! Bring it on!" "I'm not holding back this time!" The girl yells back. Erza's eye twitches. "Knock it off! Both of you!" Natsu and the girl stop bickering and look to Erza. "Now, Kaia. You still have not told me why you're here." "Oh." Her face goes sullen all of a sudden. Lucy seems to be the only one who notices. "I..." The girl composes herself and smiles. "Natsu told me to come visit him!" "Did he? Is this true Natsu?" "I dont know!" "After he helped me with the monkeys -" "What do you mean helped!? I'm the one who kicked all their butts!" "We talked for a while." She continued. "He told me he was out catching fish for his friend because they got into a fight." "I must be that friend!" Happy says brightly. "I love fish!" "Yeah." The girl giggles. "I told him I was a bit inexperienced and about the guild I was thinking about joining at the time. He told me I'd get a lot stronger if I joined Fairy Tail. He said great things about this place. He told me I should come and visit sometime and then he left. "I dont know why but ... I meant to come a long time ago but ... Anyway! Here I am!" She said cheerily. "Well I'm glad you decided to show up." Natsu smiled at her. "He was just fighting with her!" Lucy looks on as her guild mates asks the new girl questions. Was she the only one to notice the girl looking upset when asked why she was here? Or when she paused in her story about her being sick? Maybe it was nothing. Of course it was nothing. She knows nothing about this girl. Maybe thats just the way she is. "If its all the same to you, I'd like to rest up now. I traveled a long way." Kaia was saying. "Natsu, do you know anywhere I can stay for a while?" "Well we have a girls-" Juvia started. "Can I stay with you Natsu?" Kaia asks him. Natsu blushes. "What?" Everyone seems to have gone about their business except of course Lucy's group, who are left stunned at Kaia's request. "You want...to live with me?" Natsu says. Kaia laughs. "No silly. I just need a place to rest tonight." "Oh. Right." "Honestly Natsu. I know we just rekindled and all but you're moving too fast." "What!?" "I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now." "I dont want to be your boyfriend!" "You're so adorable." Kaia giggles. "Shut up!" "Wow. Dont think I've ever seen anyone strike out that fast before." Gray says. "I didnt strike out! Shut your mouth frostbite!" "Dude, you totally struck-" Natsu took a swing at Gray and hit him in the jaw. "I said shut it!" "Oh its on!" Gray and Natsu started to fight, as usual. Lucy looked over at Kaia and she was laughing at the whole thing. It may be too early to say, but she seems like a nice enough person. Surely if she had some ulterior motive, something would have happened by now. She's definitely not afraid to attack head on if her charging on Natsu while he was surrounded by his guild says anything. "Ahhh!" Gray and Natsu have knocked over Kaia. They ignore her as she sits on floor holding her side. Lucy runs over to her. "Are you okay?" Lucy asks. "Yeah. Fine." Kaia doesnt let go of her side. "Can I help you up?" Kaia nods. She takes her hand off her side and Lucy takes that hand. Lucy looks down at her guild symbol but its not something she knows. Wait. Is that... "Are you sure you're okay?" Lucy asks once Kaia is upright. "I'm fine, thanks." Kaia flinches and grabs her side again. "Uhm-" "Natsu!" Kaia yells. Natsu and Gray have each other by the collars but otherwise not fighting anymore. "Where is your house? I'd like to go to sleep now." Natsu pushes Gray off of him. "Why do you want to stay with me anyway? Its-" "Please Natsu." Her eyes turning soft and pleading. "I just want to sleep." "Ugh! Fine! Its this way." Kaia smiles at Lucy and then follows after Natsu. Was that a bruise on her bruise? It didnt look like one though. But it must have been. Could it have happened when Natsu hit her? Or when he and Gray knocked her over? Possibly. But it didnt look like a bruise exactly. Who is this girl and why was she here? Why was she looking for Natsu specifically? What was on her side? "Something on you mind Lucy?" Erza asks. Lucy shakes her head. "Nah. Its probably nothing." The thing on her chest must be a bruise. She could have gotten into a fight before she came here. Or Natsu or Gray did it. There's no reason to worry. Lucy knows Natsu is more than capable of taking care of himself. Still though...

The next afternoon Natsu asked Lucy to go on a job with him. "Where's your friend Natsu?" She asked. "What friend?" "The one from yesterday? Kaia?" "Oh, her." Natsu puts his hands behind his head, lacing his fingers. "She's still in bed." "Still?" Lucy wonders. "She left here yesterday morning. Has she really been in bed all this time?" Natsu shrugs. "She told me it took her a couple days to get here. She's tired I guess. Are we going on this job or not?" "Yeah uhm... Sure. Shouldnt you tell Kaia though? What if she comes looking for you and you're not here?" "Then she'll see me when I get back. Lets go!" "Natsu! She came all this way to see you and you're just gonna leave her?" "Geez Lucy. If you want me to go tell her so badly I will. When I get back we're going on this job, deal?" "Yeah." Lucy nodded. Natsu left. Kaia seemed to be in so much pain yesterday. She only got one hit on Natsu and it seems like it took a lot out of her. She dodged every blow he threw at her. And then she got so easily knocked over by Gray and Natsu while they were fighting. She wouldnt stop gripping at her chest. She did say that she was sick when she met Natsu. Is she a sickly person? Could she be sick again? Is that why she's still in bed?

"Hey Kaia." Natsu calls as he walks in his house. "You up yet?" Kaia opens her eyes but doesnt move. "Natsu," She says softly. "I'm going on a job. Lucy wanted me to come tell you in case you got worried." "Okay." She closes her eyes back. "Good luck." Natsu blinks. "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "You sure? You look kind of sick." "No I... I'm just tired. It was a long journey." "Well... Alright. I'll be back later." "Bye." "See ya."

When they return from the job, Lucy looked around and didnt see Natsu's friend Kaia. Natsu didnt seem too worried so Lucy feels like she shouldnt be worried either. She wonders briefly if Kaia is some sort of spy but then...she seemed to be in so much pain today and Natsu had said that she's been asleep since yesterday afternoon. Either she's a really good actress or there's seriously something wrong with her. "Whats got you looking so bummed out Lucy?" Grey asks. "You didnt get hurt on the job again did ya?" "No. Its just..." Lucy puts a hand to her chin. "Natsu's friend. Its like she just...manifested out of nowhere. Natsu didnt even know who she was." "Natsu doesnt remember anything." "I know but...there's something about her. I dont know if we can like...but then she was in so much pain. That thing on her side..." Lucy trailed off quietly. "Yeah. That is kind of weird. And Natsu of all people. I think... I'm gonna go find Erza." Lucy sat there contemplating for a while. A few moments later she heard Erza yell Natsu's name so she looked up. Erza and Grey were standing in front of Natsu. "Take us to see Kaia." Erza commands. "Kaia? Why?" Natsu scratches his head. "Dont ask questions. Move." Natsu went rigid and turned to walk out the guild, walking stiffly with Erza and Grey behind him. Happy sat off to the side looking puzzled. Lucy decided to get up and follow. They arrived at Natsu's hut some fifteen minutes later. Erza slammed open the door. Lucy looked inside. There she is. Sleeping. Just like Natsu said she was. Except... It doesnt look like she's breathing. "Is she dead?" Grey asks. "I dont think so." Natsu says, walking over to her. "Hey Kaia! Kaia!" She didnt budge. Natsu shook her shoulder and called to her but she still didnt move. "Gross! Dont tell me there's a dead girl in your bed Natsu!" Lucy exclaim, covering her face. "She's not dead." Erza says. "There's a faint pulse. She's still alive. But for how long..." "What do you mean?" Lucy asks. "Natsu," Erza starts. "Grab her and lets go see the Master."

"Dear me," Makarov says. "Its just as I feared." "So I was right then." Erza folds her arms and nods. "You were. It was smart of you to bring her to me." "I dont get it. Whats going on?" Natsu asks. "Whats wrong with Kaia?" "She's been cursed." Makarov answers. "If we dont do something soon, I'm afraid she'll die." "What!?" Natsu yells. "There must be something we can do! What is it Master?! Tell us!" Lucy exclaims. "Get Freed. This is a dark spell. One I'm not familiar with. Perhaps he can assist us. Grey. See if he's here." "You got it." Grey runs out of the room. Lucy turns back to Kaia. "So thats why she came here." Lucy says softly. "Natsu helped her before so she must have thought he'd be able to help her again." "Too bad she chose the wrong guild wizard." Erza says. "Hey! Whats thats supposed to mean!?" Erza hits Natsu on the head and he falls over. "Master! I've got Freed." Grey says as he and Freed walk into the room. "Excellent. Freed, we dont have a lot of time. Do you think you can figure out what this curse is placed on this young wizard?" Freed nods. "I'll do my best." They all watch as Freed stare at the marking on Kaia's side and then he conjures up a book. He flips through the pages some. "Oh. Oh my." He says glumly.

[organised-disaster]

well actually it's delicious so nvm I <3 snow

Snow acts so bountiful and fluffy but when you grab it it's all wet and cold this is unacceptable

[organised-disaster]

yummi

Snow acts so bountiful and fluffy but when you grab it it's all wet and cold this is unacceptable