#y'know what we're missing?
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I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless
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the thing abt lee (as he's presented in 15x07) is that he's a foil to cas. and that's what i'm interested in.
#sorry to genunine deanlees i am only interested in them as they relate to and contrast destiel#even if we're talking stanford era it's like. lee was an ideal. in a way.#a fantasy of them living wild#it's like the opposite of white picket fence fantasy. but still a fantasy y'know what i mean?#it's like. we'll be together on the road and hunt and eventually settle down and open a bar and everything will be perfect#and then there's destiel. it's real. they have their issues. miscommunication up the wazoo but they both deeply care and TRY#and like when you see where lee ends up in 15x07. how he sold out his principles to literally feed ppl to a monster#that's where dean realizes. yea you're not the guy for me. you maybe never were. because EYE care.#and the person i'm missing rn? he still cares abt saving the world too. he still sees the good in people.#vic.txt
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I'm trying to take a nap but I just GOTTA write this real quick 'cos due to the New DLC Character, there have been alotta discussions and I just feel like many ppl forgot the original points of the earlier games. ESPECIALLY the original trilogy.
Of course, there are many ppl who are saying Clive looks outta place and that he'd fit Soul Calibur more. And the many ppl arguing against this popular criticism just... don't understand? Like they're like "but he's Anime Boy! How does he not fit in?" or old tired "this game has bears and devils!! But HE doesn't fit in??? Lolwhut!! XD" Even though ppl are making jokes about how TK8 is the first time Clive will see a car or billboards (and uh... y'know. that already explains how he's outta place LMAOOOO)
Yes, the original Tek series has ALWAYS had some kind of supernatural or wild element. Notably Yoshi, Jack, the bears (and Roger) and devils / monsters. But like... REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. What were the context of these characters? The animals still fought rather traditionally than flashy or magical. And plus, they were joke characters. They weren't intended to take seriously. Jack, Yoshi (And Yoshi's counterpart, Kuni) and Mokujin are the only really fanatical serious characters in the whole cast. (Even Jack, you can still argue he has more of a "technological" aspect to him than magic or fantasy) Yes, there are demons like Ogre and Devil. But... they were literally final bosses and there's a reason why. Like it was supposed to be a GRAND THING for the mostly normal cast to be fighting fucking monsters in the end. Like that's why they saved it for last, it was something to build up to, and something to be shocking. I think a lotta modern players miss the point of that.
Also using characters from TK6+ instantly makes the argument invalid 'cos that's when ppl started criticizing the game for "getting too anime / far fetched"
Also another cool thing about the earliest games is that a lotta them had aesthetic themes. TK3, for example, had a very gritty aesthetic. Most of the characters looked like they belonged to the same game -- having a biker or sporty look (if not a martial arts look, which is obvious) You can see what the theme they were going with here. In TK8, we have characters of all kinds of different styles -- some clashing. (We got Jin and Xiao, who match with their black outfits. But then we got some military outfits, and then some in suits, and some that look like fairies like Alisa, and so on) Which just makes me feel like as the games go on, they just stopped caring about "style" as much, y'know? Like sorry but I can't picture TK8 Alisa (even if I do love her) or Clive in TK1-TK4.
Gon is another example they like to use of a third party feeling totally out of place. But... again, context matters! Both Gon and Dr. B. were secret characters that were meant to be taken as jokes. Like Gon literally has a move where he farts on the opponent. The difference is, we're meant to take Clive seriously. This totally out of place character isn't meant to be funny.
Like I'm glad some ppl are happy about Clive, of course. But like, I totally understand the criticism / concerns some people have. And like, I just feel like a lotta ppl talking about it just don't rly understand the issue.
#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc)#// AND LIKE. when i say the game has become “too anime” -- i am not criticizing anime as a whole#// i do think there are many good animes!#// i just mean the game has become TOO GENERIC of an anime#// like using the most obvs tropes and stuff like that#// hoping to do a lil more ic stuff around here after i awake from my nap :')#// anyway -- *i* personally don't care that clive's in it 'cos as i said#// i just don't rly care what the game does anymore as long as it's fun to play#// lore has basically gone down the toilet for me anyway#// but i do think a lotta the discussions revolving around this are just ... missing the point?#// and LIKE STILL. MOST of the cast in TK was still relatively ... normal ?#// like i still felt like there were * more * normal fighters than bizarre fighters y'know?#// nowadays it feels like we're getting more saturated with magical / fantasy / superpowered fighters 'yknow??#// like DESPITE what TK8 did to her -- jun didn't fight with powers to begin with lol#// she was stated to have purity -- but she was also just another traditional fighter
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ok we're back. what the fuck
#really interesting couple of hours#dark and wil dot exe are not working currently. NO idea what happened to shut them down#mark is perfectly fine??? i mean he's... partially on fire but that's not causing him any harm it looks like. he's red aligned so that also#makes sense that he controls fire actually.#bill almost shattered I think. looking at Him He's got big cracks down His back? and He said earlier He heard the headspace start crumbling#no idea what happened there but everyone is fine#uhhhhhh ..... the body cried. a lot. but everyone is unharmed. except bill. whom again. has a giant ass crack in Him.#but i dont think it's hurting Him??#you may be like 'that sounds like a sign that you should sleep' we're not tired at all#sighs. and all this on cosm's birthday too. fuck.#im worried the headspace DID shatter some but we've been holed up in mine amd Actor's room for the past couple hours#lmfao we're all too scared to check#if it... DID shatter then I reckon half our crew is out of commission actually and unreachable#which sucks.#because that means dark and wil are also unreachable.#y'know. 2 out of 3 of our hosts. fhfhdjdjfjdjsj#at least we can still reach ego brains...? probably???#we'll see.#pk;m Ciel🧑🚀#tl;dr: stress sucks bad. this is the aftereffects of a Lot of it i guess.#........ ohhh yep that's. a good chunk of Spacehead missing. don't know how long it'll be til we get that half back.#Cosm was in that half. christ alive.#fjfnxnxnxnzn#sorry to sound dramatic. this all correlates to: WE'RE STRESSED! least we aren't splitting anymore. fncjxndnf#deletey
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I don’t know much about rottmnt but origami ghost au? Do tell!
(for context: this ask is referring to this post.)
this was actually an idea recommended to me by (i think) @noodlenoodlenoodlenoodle, so credit where credit is due.
the basic premise is pretty angsty (paraphrasing what i remember):
one of the (rise) characters gets hospitalized, and all the others make little origami animals (one per day) out of little notes they write for when said character wakes up. (they don't wake up.)
now, i do like me some good ol' angst every once in a while, but i could not help myself with this idea. hurt/comfort is my specialty.
so, if i ever do write this, i think I'm gonna twist it around a little to be something more... convoluted.
one of the characters gets sleeping-beautified (ie put in a coma by magic means) and it is assumed they will never wake up again. meanwhile, said sleeping-beautified character wakes up in what appears to be... 16th century japan?? with a limited vocabulary, they must fend for themselves while figuring out wtaf is going on and how to get home. cue shenanigans as our real-world companions start to get "signs" that something is amiss. in order to not cause false hope, they keep it to themselves but begin their own, separate investigations. they learn that, through vague notes folded into terrible approximations of origami art (in their defense, origami is a bit harder with three fingers), they're able to communicate. but they have to hurry-- time is running out, and if they don't figure it out fast, our cursed character might actually never wake up again.
#oaugh woah hi!! :D#you were very speedy with this <: i'm glad the name called to you#(it is a very cool-sounding name)#thank you for the ask btw!!#i love my moots#asks#ask game#tag game#origami ghost au#oh also didnt add this bc i didn't want to make it super long but the reason we're cued into origami notes being able to#“transcend” universes or whatever is bc they write the notes in the first place (as with the first prompt) which tips off the cursed#character to what is going on. and then it goes from there (improperly folded origami can damage or warp the message#written on them or make them not send at all#so the notes that come through the real world at first are often vague an incomplete#which is our convenient plot excuse for y'know why they aren't tipped off immediately#oh and ofc once again thanks to atty for being the inspo behind this idea (:#(also ofc its japan. do you think i would miss out on some usagi miyamoto shenanigans?#i have a whole surrounding idea for that too btw haha)#long post#tw long post
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I finally set my last notebook to rest, so it’s time for a new one (Patreon)
#Doodles#It took a long time! Having three concurrent notebooks at a time will do that#I'm used to only having two at a time but I think three is going to become my new regular#One for sketches - studies and random concepts and scribbly comics to be cleaned up in SAI at a later time#One for more finished paper art - not necessarily Fancy but lineless y'know lol a bit more proper as far as I'm concerned#And then a true free for all lol anything allowed! Basically a stream-of-consciousness captured to page#For now I've got the latter two covered I'm currently vetting the slightly-more-focused lined notebook#It was from a bit ago and I was being silly at the time haha but the first one is from a new brand I'm testing out#It feels good! It's grippy but not in a scratchy way and it accepts graphite and pigment well#I haven't tested pen bleed yet tho that'll be next on my list#The second is an old standby - not my favourite but one that is very easy to acquire and I know what to expect of it#It's also the same as my free-for-all notebook but that's really neither here nor there lol - I'm not likely to mix them up#The only thing I've really noticed so far is the new brand takes a bit more cleaning because its margin line bleeds a bit more than normal#It's not bad but I can see it getting annoying - pros and cons#The second two are just normal sona thoughts#I miss my spider. I've looked out at where I buried them every day since but it feels more manageable#It feels more approachable like I'll be able to talk about it with the sellers when we're able to go to see them#I do hope they don't think less of me for it...#And then the last haha - my Vargas immunity is currently basically zero so any outside mention of them is overwhelming#I got about three lines into a fic and had to stop lol - I still really want to read it! I just don't trust my brain with it right now#As if I still don't think about them all the time lol ♪#Plus now I have my hammock again (♥!!!!) so I've got my reading spot back!#Reading never felt so good <3 <3
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Well. the new chapter!!!!!
#Finally read it 🥰🥰🥰#Dostoyevsky doing something I missed you so much 😭😭😭#And hurray for Chuuya lives (kind of) of course!!!!!#Though c'mon. there were a thousand and one ways they could escape#Dostoyevsky is just so cute‚ my beloved 😭😭😭 So unfortunately I can't get to work to make any edit right now–#because I have to study because instead of studying I spent the whole day in anxiety for the chapter and now I pay the consequences 😔#SIGMA WAS SO PRETTY TOO#Anywaysssss glad we're back at the Meursault pov I'm excited for the next chapter! I hope Dazai drowns <3#“I"m wet and cold” HE WAS SO FUNNY FOR THAT#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#Edit wait more: it was nice but seriously I wish this chapter would have come immediately after ch 101...#It would have made the pacing much better in my opinion to turn the tables immediately like#“AH. YOU THOUGHT IT WAS THIS TEAM DROWNING BUT IT'S ACTUALLY THE OTHER”#But now the effect of thinking one was drowning kind of faded... I can't explain it well but y'know ://#Edit edit 2: btw what about the time limit. No way all of this happened in less than 30 minutes. c'mon.#And what about Gogol!! Where's the clown!!!#bsd#bsd ch 105.5#random rambles#mine#fyodor dostoevsky#chūya nakahara#sigma#osamu dazai#nikolai gogol
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yeah we've got a guy called Yearning but apparently the kid's bested him with the sheer amount of homesickness she feels.
#Lili has wanted to go home since. forever. for the longest time ''i wanna go home'' was our constant mantra and it still kinda is.#she misses home so badly sometimes it makes our chest physically ache. our little comet. we? she? remembers falling to earth?#might be exomemory. might be just a pretend story. she remembers streaking down with Ceres before our core shattered in the impact.#we somehow picked up the pieces. /were/ the pieces. patched ourselves with what was left and reformed into the 80% of a human being we are.#but Lili was there for when we were a star‚ the sole piece cradled by Ceres before he fragmented. and now she can't go back.#...she likes being human at least (like in this body with us). she and Whimsy and Juliet hold a lot of our romanticizing of the mundane.#humanity can be fun and wonderful and beautiful. she loves eating snacks and petting our cat and looking at jachi! she loves living.#but being human gets so... sad sometimes. difficult. and sometimes she's reminded of home. it's a pang of nostalgia that hits all of us-#because we're monoconcious. it isn't always so bad. it's been mild for a while actually. but when its bad‚ she asks us when she can go home#she wants us to come too‚ her family. she remembers to say please. she's been so good‚ can we go home now‚ please‚ please‚ please?#we know we can't‚ so /she/ knows she can't. but she tries anyway just in case one of us can miraculously change the answer.#is it sadder if she keeps asking or if she gives up hope?#ugh. well anyway we watched ponyo to cheer her up. it's her favorite movie and is basically our collective favorite as well now too hjglkj#Harlowe doesn't believe in what might be our exomemories. things like gods and fallen stars in our system causes half the denial really.#other systems can have them sure! but not us. we're just ''making up backstories'' for ''characters.'' y'know how it is with self-awareness#anyway i won't go into it lest we get into that kind of turmoil too lmao... ponyo watched!! it's really late but we might stay up longer.#(delaying the inevitable) not thinking about it ma'am! :) don't take this post too seriously. we're super peachy rn Distance isn't even-#too loud tonight. anyway maybe a drink? hot chocolate? can we have hot chocolate if we're still sick? who cares lol :3#the city and the sword#<- not exactly‚ but close enough. just wanted to keep this for reference. lili+core crashed in what is now the headspace garden by the way.
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Nothing like my mom telling me to "why don't you leave with your father" to remind me why I'm never regretting moving out tbh
#personal#my therapist: is this still better than living w ur mom?#me: safety planning and bout to tackle 3-4 jobs:.... y'know what yeah?#we're not exactly the bradys#catch her calling me next week 'i miss you you should visit' like she didn't tell me to leave the country 🙄#( like i can actually guarantee shes already slotted this in 'shit i just say what matters is i love em category)
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#i miss my parents so much#we're not even. like#i just mean like i'm not living alone or anything but i'm not living with them anymore#and like. even if i did#or like if i wanted to be with them right now it's logistically not difficult#they live like an hour away at most#but i'm like.#ugh i don't know how to. word this#i can't. have them the way i want to anymore because i'm not. y'know. a child#i am also not a full adult though and i#i had them. um. all to myself?? (i don't know how else to say it??) for the biggest chunk of my life#until my brother was born#and i love him. with ny heart and soul i would do anything for that kid#but sometimes i feel like a kid as well and i realize that that place i had when i actually was one is just. gone#it's miserable and lonely and it makes me feel pathetic and i don't know what i'm even typing right now#or why i'm typing it. i just#i miss something that i cant have and it shouldn't be that serious it's really stupid but i wanna cry
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Ex Husband Toji
MDNI- NSFW- explicit sex, dirty talk, oral (m and f recieving) lil bit of rough sex, Toji calls you doll and Mama, creampie, breed kink, reader is Megumi's mom and Toji needs another kid lol
Ex Husband Toji who you're so mad at, because he's late picking up Megumi for his day to take him to school again, so you decide to go directly to his house, banging on the door.
Ex Husband Toji who overslept after working all night, and feels awful he's fucked up again, but when he sees your cute little scowl, he's instantly turned on, because fuck he misses you so much.
Ex Husband Toji who smirks, licking his full lower lip as his dark green eyes drink you in. 'still in your pajamas, huh doll?' earning you shoving at his chest now, crossing your arms. 'was supposed to be your day to take Gumi, no I wasn't dressed!' Toji really likes this crop top, the strap hanging off your bare shoulder, your nipples perk up as he stares, earning a smug grin
Ex Husband Toji laughs as he says 'could've just told me you wanted to get off, y'know' earning your smack on his cheek, which really just makes him hard for you as you stomp in his house. He's shirtless and in sweats, you're trying to avoid looking at his chiseled, muscular body because if you stare too long you'll remember how good he fucked you, so you cross your arms, glaring and say 'I actually have a date tonight, Toji'
Ex Husband Toji scowls now, stepping up to you, he's so big he takes over the whole little home it seems, his big rough hands gripping your bare waist, thumbs pressing against your rib cage. 'what's that now, doll? I must've fuckin misheard' you scoff, shoving his hands off 'didn't mishear shit, we're done you know that' he yanks you to him now, and when you're pressed against his body? your brain short circuits as he leans down so close you taste the cigarettes on his breath
Ex Husband Toji slams his lips on yours, you feel that scar rubbing against your mouth, as his tongue devours you, lapping in and out so fucking messy. No one fucking kisses you like that, no one can do this to you, but you can't fuck him again, this keeps happening and you have to move on. You back away then, panting, eyes locked on his, and then he says it 'I fuckin miss you, so much y'know that? miss you cummin on m'face'
Ex Husband Toji may or may not then have your thighs spread on his kitchen table, he may or may not have your sleep shorts yanked to the side, and he may or may not have his face buried between your thighs. He's lapping you up, tasting your sweet arousal all over his mouth, as he looks up under sooty lashes. Your hands yank his inky black hair as you gasp, while he fucks your gummy walls so goddamn well, crying out 'still h-hate you, T-Toji' earning him leaning back with a devious fucking grin, as he smacks your cunt.
Ex Husband Toji who watches you tremble and whimper as he spits on your clit, watching the bubbly liquid drip between your lip, slipping two thick fingers into your tight little hole, cock throbbing under his sweats as he remembers how good you feel clenching him. He's not been with anyone else, how could he? 'T-Toji, f-fuck!' you're screaming his name, eyes rolling back while he scissors those fingers in and out of your soppy little hole, which flutters around them. 'ya gonna cum f'me doll? let me see it... there ya go'
Ex Husband Toji Has you cumming all over his fingers, white hot stars blinding you, as it washes all over, no one could do this to you, and soon he's got you turned and bent over the table, legs dangling pathetic as he slides those slutty grey sweats down, releasing his thick heavy cock, that shoves in your soaking wet cunt, stretching you so good. 'Ah! oh my god!' you have tears in your eyes as he grips your hips, begining to fuck into you, slamming your cervix as his balls smack your little twitching clit
Ex Husband Toji loves how you feel so much, muttering 'f-fuckin missed this, missed your cunt gripping me... cum on doll, cum again lemme feel her' you need no urging, you're pulsing around his cock in the middle of his messy ass kitchen, on his old table scattered with cards and gambling tickets. He shoves your head down as he grips a wrist, pulling it behind your back and bottoming out, stuffing you so full you're soaking him completely, gasping for a breath.
Ex Husband Toji who busts inside you, muttering 'need a lil brother or sister for Gumi, don't we, mama?' and you're just nodding weakly, feeling his load so deep inside you, fucking up your guts as he's still fucking into you, he tilts your chin, slamming his lips on yours as he leans over you, big hands taking over your body, cock twitching in you. 'stop this shit, come home' he whispers, you pull away then, on trembling legs, glaring up at him.
Ex Husband Toji hopes he knocked you up again as you go off on him for being late, as you act like you're going to leave, only for you to be on your knees sucking yourself off him, and as he's fucking your throat he's pretty damn sure you're not going on any date at all
permatag list: @alt--er--love @seeing-stars-alt @nanasukii28 @labelt-san @makingtimemine @cuntphoric 🩵
Toji Masterlist
#toji headcanons#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji smut#fushiguro toji x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji x reader smut#jjk x you
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cause we're, y'know | k. bakugou
✮ tags ; gender neutral reader, fluff, post relationship jitters, bakugou being down bad a little bit, friends to lovers. not 18+ but minors do Not follow me.
✮ wc ; 1k
✮ a/n ; a comm for @euthymiya who gave me free reign to do whatever which i used to write corny bkg fluff... thank u for commissioning me most beloved riv <3
✮ synopsis ; bringing his friend turned lover a lunchbox is normal, alright? plenty fucking normal.
Bakugou taps his fingers along the edge of the bench he's been sitting on since evening - beating to an unsteady rhythm.
He can Sero's voice in the back his hand as he squeezes the wrapped bento a little closer to his torso. The shitty, sing-song teasing lilt when you and Bakugou were less then lovers but more then friends.
And now you're lovers proper, as fucking corny as he finds it. But maybe he's not finding it corny enough because he's sitting in the lobby of your office building with a bento he made by hand. There's some chatter from strangers coming in and out of your office building - the occasional ding of elevators, the passing whistle of a janitor.
The awful, loud, no good thump of his heartbeat ricocheting against his rib cage as he goes back and forth on whether or not this shit was a good idea.
He's... fucking nervous. Which is total bullshit because he doesn't have anything to be nervous about. It's not like this is the first time you and Bakugou have ever met up to eat lunch. It was just that before, he was coming to meet you as a friend.
Some part of him is thinking, so what if he's your boyfriend? Who gives a shit, anyway?
Another part of him feels so mixed about the ordeal he sort of wants to puke.
His phone buzzes from the pocket of his pants and he grabs it - your phone and contact flashing across his screen
(sent 11:12am) coming down :]
Bakugou smiles to himself, at the stupid emoticon. He thinks about just liking your reply but before he gets the chance another text follows through.
(sent 11:12am) missed you <3
He blushes almost furiously. Partially over the text but mostly from his internal reaction. Stupid. This whole thing is so stupid. He types fast.
(sent 11:14am) hurry your ass up.
That's all he can manage to say without feeling like his chest is going to collapse in on itself. He waits another minute before he hears the elevator doors ding again - a crowd of people dispersing as the doors open. He looks for you among them.
He finds you after a minute, hand waving overhead of the sea of people. He huffs, amused at how rapidly you wave your hand, and thinks about texting you again but you're close enough that he doesn't bother.
You march towards him with a renewed vigor after you aren't lost to the sea of strangers. Bakugou snorts as you hurry your way over to him, almost seeming out of breath - like you ran to see him.
"Hey,"
"Hi!" You say, chipper as always. "You're here."
"No shit."
You laugh. He's heard it before. A hundred times, a thousand maybe. It still sounds weirdly different to him.
"Did you have anywhere in mind to eat?" You ask.
Horror dawns on him at the realization you still didn't realize what's in his hand. "I'm up for anything I think. Feeling adventurous."
Your eyes are sparkling when you ask. Bakugou freezes, blue screening momentarily before taking a breath.
He holds the boxed bento out to you sheepishly, a hand scratching the back of his neck. This is way more embarrassing then he thought it'd be.
"Fuck. Whatever. Look," He says, shaking the upset off of him with a frown. " He doesn't look up at you, doesn't even want to know what he might see. Something bright enough to fucking blind him, he's sure. "Don't say shit or I'm never making you one again."
You blink owlishly before letting your eyes flicker down again at what it's in front you. There's a beat of silence between you before Bakugou sees a grin slowly creep it's way up to your face in a way that makes his chest feel tight.
You take the wrapped bento from him, assessing the weight of it in your hand as you give it a good look. You hold it up to admire it and Bakugou feels the blush crawl further down his neck.
"Stop acting like I just handed you a diamond or some shit," Bakugou says lamely, even by his own standards. Your lips form into affectionate pout.
"You made me a bento." Your lower lip trembles all too sudden and Bakugou's eyes go wide. "I love you,"
?!
Bakugou looks at you, mouth agape. You're completely serious. Nevermind the inappropriate timing or the fact this is the first time you've expressed yourself with a word so serious. He's more concerned about the almost tears at your eyes. He pulls his sleeves over his hands to wipe them from your eyes.
"Dumbass, what are you crying about? You're still in the office, get it together."
"But I love you," You say, more whine then coherent word. Bakugou feels a headache coming on.
"Yeah I got that. Am I really such a shithead me bringing you lunch is worth sobbing over?"
"You made it for me."
"Cause I ain't no punk. Anyone can pay for you you but we're," He stops himself mid way, too embarrassed to get the rest out. "Anyways whatever. It's just lunch. I just... fuckin' realized I never made it for you. Dinner and shit is one thing but we're,"
"Dating," You finish before he can. He falls victim to more blushing.
"Yeah. Whatever. This much is pretty standard, at least." He wipes another tear off your face. It's funny. Anyone else pulled some shit like this and he'd rolls his eyes. "Stop cryin' already."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't gotta say sorry either."
"But,"
"No buts. Hurry and wipe your tears before your breaks over so you don't go all puffy eyed back in the office."
You laugh through a sniffle. "They'll think my boyfriend was being mean to me, huh?"
He snorts, voice full of playful sarcasm. "Yeah exactly. I've got a great reputation to uphold and all."
"Katsuki," You say gently. He gives you a look.
"Hm?"
You lean forward, craning up just slightly to press your lips to his. Your third kiss, now. Not that he's been counting.
"Thank you and," You pull back mischievously, brows furrowing. "Revenge."
He's in so deep. Fuck.
"You're such an idiot." He says, fighting off his own feelings.
"You love me,"
Maybe he's an idiot too.
"Yeah." He says, flicking your forehead and watching you beam. "Unfortunately."
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It's always been honest self-loathing in the published ASOS Arya XIII. As well as in Sandor's dialogue throughout the published ASOS, in Arya VI and elsewhere. (Meta posts on the subject: 1, 2, 3.) I'm glad the draft is letting others see it better, though.
Thinkin' about this Sandor tidbit from an earlier draft of ASOS. Found by redditor u/gsteff at the Cushing Library.
link
#if you don't get that sandor deeply loathes himself and feels that he's a “gutless coward” then you're missing a huge part of his character#god knows so many are. sigh#i think the final version is better because it doesn't come out all at once after the fight when he's in such pain#but builds up - revealed slowly - until sandor finally loses it completely when he's dying by the trident#evidently grrm feels that way too because y'know that's how he did it in his final manuscript he sent to be published as asos!#i'd hope that these glimpses at grrm's writing process would show people what a careful job writing is to pace the reader's evoked emotions#to see what he discarded as not working or moved elsewhere etc#but alas people seem to be treating it in the same way they do the damn proposal letter#“the real story!” “secrets revealed!” “the original idea!” no you fools they were edited/discarded for reasons#the canon exists as it does because it's the version grrm wanted to publish for you to read. what we *have* read for almost 25 years. istg#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#sandor clegane#sandor meta#valyrianscrolls#a storm of swords#cushing library grrm collection#cushing library asos draft#oh fandom#queue and me we're in this together now
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Nanami Kento was not a father; not strictly speaking. Not technically speaking. Not metaphorically speaking. The absence of paternity, however, did nothing to eschew him of the shackles he wore with pride, wearing them as a mantle; a medal of honour.
For one with such a black hole in his life, Itadori Yuuji would not notice Kento's absence unless something took Kento away from him, so natural was it that the void was filled.
Nanami Kento's priorities altered so dramatically, with such quiet consideration, that he had no real words to explain his situation to you when he first took you out for dinner. Or, when he took you out to the beach. Or, when you took him to that art gallery. Or, when you came over to his, tumbling through the door into stumbling kisses, all hands and groans and desperation.
For Nanami Kento was not a father. He ensured that his relationship with Yuuji did not overlap with his relationship with you, fearful that you would reject the burden of not-parenthood.
Kento was so introspective in his attempts to hide his not-parenthood, that he failed to see how blatantly-fucking-obvious he was. As if you wouldn't notice that dinner was always made for three, with a portion put aside or frozen for a hungry visitor. As if you wouldn't notice that Kento browsed the teenage boy sections in clothes stores, making note of what he would come back for later. As if you had not seen Kento listed as "I.C.E." on Yuuji's phone screen at school one day.
As if you were not a mother. As if you were not fully prepared to be.
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Kento was stalking through the belly of the beast when he spotted two missed calls; one from Yuuji, and one from Shoko. His heart leapt into his mouth, his blade hanging dumbly by his side as he cursed internally at his lack of signal. Torn by conflicting responsibilities, he focused on the task at hand, but as a noticeably sloppier Sorcerer when worry gnawed at the bones of him.
An hour later, finally free, he jogged to his car, panting. He slipped into his seat, and called Yuuji-- no answer. He called Shoko-- no answer. He swore again, hurrying to start the car...and his phone buzzed.
He looked at the screen, and opened a message from you. He sat, staring at it, a cold trickle of worry down his spine. A photo; of Yuuji's characteristic shoes, beside your own, with the caption:
Picked up a wounded stray. He looks hungry. We'll be at yours soon!
Kento churned through emotions, trying to read your tone on the screen. Angry? Cheerful? Exasperated? Would you want to talk about his deceit later? Technically he hadn't lied. Or, he had. A lie by omission perhaps? She's angry. She's disappointed at least. Is that worse? That's worse.
Kento stewed, the whole drive home.
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Kento continued to stew, when he arrived home to an empty house. He paced, and sat, and paced, and sat. He cursed himself for not maintaining tighter boundaries between Nanami-Kento-the-Boyfriend and Nanami-Kento-the-Not-Father. So deep was he in his self-flagellation, he jolted to hear the door open, and two familiar peals of laughter rolling through.
"--Ieiri-san told me I should have waited for Ino to arrive, but I just had to do something, y'know--"
"--not jump through a damn window, Yuuji, that's excessive--"
"--not stupid if it worked though--"
"--as your Not-Mother, I cannot condone this."
Kento stood, watching the scene unfold in wonder. You and Yuuji, bantering. You reaching for the grocery bags, and Yuuji insisting he carry them instead. You directing Yuuji to the bag with the snacks. Yuuji totally bypassing Kento, jogging past him to the kitchen.
As if this was his home. As if Kento was his home. As if you were his home.
Kento was still stunned into silence when you leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.
"Hey! Sorry we're late. Yuuji was hurt on a mission, so I picked him up, but I wanted to get ice cream, and I noticed we didn't have enough in for dinner for three, and--"
Your words cut off with a muffled "mmf!" as Kento leaned down, pulling you in by the back of the neck, and small of your back, silencing you with a kiss which tasted of all the gratitude for which he had no words. By the time he'd released your lips, his forehead pressed to yours, you felt the air rush back to the vacuum he'd left behind.
"...Kento, are you oka--"
"I love you."
The air rushed straight back out of you, leaving you light and giddy. Your lips puckered, threatening tears, so long had you been wondering if he'd ever confess the depths of his feelings.
"...you love me?"
"I love you. I love you. I absolutely love you. And I'm sorry I didn't--..."
"...didn't think I'd be happy with you looking after a boy with no parents, who needs some?"
You let your question hang, so Kento could soak in how much of a fool he'd been. He sighed, tense and looking over at Yuuji rustling through grocery bags in the kitchen.
"...I didn't want to assume that you'd accept it."
"Would you choose someone like that, though?" Kento looked unsure, and you clarified. "I mean, would you choose someone who felt jealous of you looking after an orphaned child?"
Kento's gears turned. "...no."
You smiled up at him, cupping his cheek in your palm. "Exactly. So, like I was saying...I put fresh sheets in his room. I'll go and make dinner. Yuuji will pick a movie. And you should have a word with him about jumping through plate glass windows to get to a Curse faster."
At that, Kento's head snapped up, fixing Yuuji with a frown that had Yuuji dropping bags of snacks on the floor.
"Yuuji."
"Shit, I'm sorry Nanamin, I--"
"Language."
"Shit, I'm sorry Nanami-san, I--"
You headed to the kitchen, pulling on an apron and stifling laughter at the Not-Father and Not-Son bickering in your wake.
#jjk#pseudowho#Haitch#Papamin by Haitch#kento nanami#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami fluff#pseudowho answers you#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanamin#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#Nanami and Yuuji#kento nanami x y/n#nanami#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#jjk kento#yuji itadori#jjk itadori#jujutsu itadori#yuji#Yuuji
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futile cure
mara-struck!jing yuan x reader II 4.5k
warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no pronouns, heavy angst, multiple major character deaths, can be read as yandere, monsterfucking, handjob, blowjob, deep throating, creampie, rough sex, info might be wrong because i haven’t completed 2.4 story quest yet, unedited
synopsis: with jing yuan’s blessing, you left the xianzhou’s luofu to join the astral express crew and follow the trailblaze. one hundred years later, the newly appointed general, yanqing reached out to you in desperation. Your former boyfriend is now mara-stricken
The air around the Express was lively as folks chimed with champagne, laughter, and music. Another world was saved, and another Stellaron crisis was averted.
You sat at a table with two others who had been on the Express for the longest time, Dan Heng, the incarnation of the once-feared Dan Feng, and the living Stellaron himself, Caelus.
The three of you were focused on the 3 young crew members that recently joined, bickering and teasing one another in the corner of the train car. The corner’s of Dan Heng’s lips curved up, admiring the young group. His olive eyes drifted down to his cup, swishing the liquid side to side in thought.
“Y’know they’re bickering the same way you and March used to,” Dan Heng murmured. Caelus chuckled, leaning his elbow against the table. He rested his hand against his cheek in amusement.
“Kinda weird, we're the old ones now. Does that make me Mr. Yang and you Miss Himeko?” Caelus joked. You rolled your eyes at his response.
“Yeah, you wish. You still act as goofy and immature as ever, Caelus,” you retorted. Dan Heng sighed, looking off at the group of young travelers again.
“...I miss them. Miss Himeko, Mr. Yang, March…” he trailed off. The three of you remained silent as music played out, along with whatever the other group was talking about. Seeing them so happy after completing their second mission brought nostalgia. It seemed just yesterday that you all were in their positions.
Your gaze softened, looking at Pom Pom reprimanding them for being too loud.
”I do too. Sometimes I wish all lifeforms had the same lifespan.” you murmured, looking at your own reflection in your drink. Caelus' face momentarily lit up, as an idea popped into the eccentric's head.
“Y'know what. Why don’t we go back to one of the worlds we used to like old times! Penacony! Jarilo-IV! Oh! Even your hometowns in Xianzhou Alliance’s Luofu!” Caelus suggested. Your heart churned hearing him say the Luofu. It had been decades since the crisis there where you had left to join the Astral Express, leaving your former boyfriend behind with his blessing.
You could still remember his soft gaze and sad smile, holding his hand with your own:
“The heart of a gentleman cares not about his own selfish desires, but of all that it encompasses from his breadth of heart.”
You hadn’t seen Jing Yuan in ages. You had heard he had retired and his apprentice—now grown—took the mantle of his position but you were too busy saving a world to attend the ceremony.
”...Personally, I prefer not to. However, (Y/n), I think it might be beneficial for you. Catch up on your old friends and see him again might do you some good. Although we are trailblazers, some of us with homes can get homesick. These opportunities are rare,” Dan Heng suggested.
Caelus quickly grabbed his drink, shooting it back and slamming it back down to the table.
”Exactly! So, are we in agreement to go to the Luofu?” Caelus murmured, nudging you. You opened your mouth to retort to the drunken human stellaron but your phone buzzed in your back pocket. Your elbow nudged his stomach as he groaned before you lifted your phone up to see the message.
Your eyes widened, lips parted seeing the message on your phone. It was from Yanqing. You hadn’t spoken to him in years.
As the general, he rarely reached out to you. Even prior to his promotion, you could tell he held some animosity towards you for choosing the path of the Trailblaze and leaving his master, Jing Yuan.
You couldn’t blame the child, just bore his unapproving gaze with a sad smile.
”Please come to the Luofu when you can. It’s important and I need your help. Only you can help him.”
Your heart sank as your grip on your device tightened. Out of all scenarios, there was one you could think of that Yanqing would bite his pride and reach out to you. But part of you didn’t want to believe it. It would make it real.
”What are you so focused on all of a sudden?” Caelus murmured, looking over your shoulder before getting quiet. You pulled your phone back and placed it on the table. Caelus peered at you with sympathetic eyes as Dan Heng’s narrowed in confusion.
“(Y/n)?” he asked, confused about your sudden somber and worried expression. You get up from your seat, the joy of the celebration completely gone leaving nothing but fear, longing, regret, and worry.
”Pom Pom,” you called out. The group of young travelers looked at you, noticing the change of your tone. The small conductor turned to you, leaning his head to the side in confusion.
“Yes, Mx (Y/n)?”
“Please set a course to head to the Xianzhou's Luofu.”
Docking at the Luofu ship you could feel your heart beating a mile per minute. You felt light-hearted, stomach churning from the amount of anxiety bubbling throughout your body. Yanqing would only reach out to you for something serious.
Had something happened to him? He seemed fine when you last visited, but that was decades ago…
”Jing Yuan…” you muttered, looking down on the ground. Dan Heng had convinced the group to stay on the Express for the time being. The boys you had known for so long knew you wanted to handle this alone. You’d have to thank him later.
Disembarking alone onto the ship, you could barely focus on the hustle and bustle of the square. Your pace was fast, gaze scanning and looking for someone familiar.
You finally focused on the tall young man with arms. His hair was long and tight in a low ponytail. When he opened his eyes, the familiar amber greeted you back. Your eyes softened as you approached him.
“Yanqing! you grew up. Oh! Wait, I guess I should call you General Yanqing now,” you chuckled awkwardly. Yanqing forced a smile, his brow furrowed from stress. You could see the bags under his eyes, from countless restless nights. Whatever this was, it was truly getting to the newly appointed general.
“Yanqing, what’s wrong…” you asked. The Cloud Knights adjacent to him looked to the General as he sighed.
”Let’s speak in my office, away from noisy ears and gazes,” he replied. You were caught off guard, by how deep his voice was. He had changed so much that the young apprentice who used to always come to you about stories of Jing Yuan.
As the two of you reached his office, you noticed a woman sitting on his desk. Your eyes narrowed trying to pinpoint where you recognized her, before a small smile appeared on your face.
”Yunli? Is that you?” you asked. Her eyes lit up as she gave you a polite smile..
“(Y/n), it’s nice to see you. I hope this blockhead hasn’t been too rude to you,” she replied. Yanqing grunted at her response.
”Not the time, Yunli!: he barked. She rolled her eyes, unamused at the blond.
”I don’t care!” she seethed. “The idiot is still prideful but I was hoping he, at least, bit his pride and contacted you.”
She strummed her hand along the wooden desk in irritation. You could see a silver band on her finger. Once again, it seems you missed a lot in your time Trailblazing. You turned to look at Yanqing once more.
“Yanqing, what’s going on?” you asked again. Yanqing massaged his brow, lips parting as he tried to find the right words.
”Master, he…” he struggled. “You know about Jingliu, his master, right?”
Your eyebrow furrowed. You could recall his somber face as he told you stories about her. She was an accomplished warrior who was a part of the High Cloud Quintet. Dan Feng's sin led him to his next incarnation, Baiheng died, a newly immortal Yingxing became the barely quelled mara-stricken Stelleron Hunter Blade, and Jingliu got mara-struck as well and went mad…
Leaving Jing Yuan by himself.
But it was not as though you could judge, you ended up leaving him too.
”Yes…”
”...Jing Yuan is mara-struck.”
Time seemed to pause as those words continued to ring out. Mara-struck? Mara-struck? Haha no. He couldn’t…could he really? This is what you feared when you got that message from Yanqing.
”What do you mean by that,” you whispered, struggling to process the information. Yanqing looked at Yunli and sighed.
“When Jing Yuan retired, it was because the mara was getting to him and affecting his cognitive abilities,” he responded. “To not cause panic with the public, I and a few others said he had retired before I was promoted as the new General.”
You balled your fists, nails digging into the flesh of your palms.
”...He had been suffering for that long and you didn’t tell me Yanqing!” you out. Yanqing tightened his jaw, Adam's Apple bobbing as he tried quelling his dry throat in shame.
“You were so busy going off and traveling! I didn’t think you cared or had the time to care!” he shouted back.
”You should have told me! I would have come back to the Luofu for him!” you barked back. Yanqing’s nostrils flared as he took a step forward.
”Yet you still left the Luofu despite Master!” he shouted back. The two of you stared each other down. Your chests were heaving, ready to yell, shout, and bicker; whatever insult and claims that came next but neither one retorted. Soon, the anger in both of your eyes subsided back into pain and shame. Both of your gazes shifted away.
”...Where is he” you whispered, eyes fluttering to stop any tears threatening to drip down.
”.Held in a secure solitary confinement. The knights I have patrolling that area have said he has been getting more aggressive. We don’t think we have much time before he tries to escape,” Yanqing admitted.
It was beginning to get harder to bat away the tears as you shook your head at the new information. You always thought you would greet Jing Yuan with that lazy smile of his again. Not…a monster, an abomination of Yaoshi’s.
”.What do you want me to do then?” you asked. Yanqing paused as Yunli sighed and got up from her seat, walking next to him.
”Those soldiers have heard him call your name at night. For some reason, your name has a soothing effect on him. Makes him…almost normal again. As normal as you can get being mara-struck, I guess,” Yunli revealed.
Her hands weaved with Yanqing who struggled to come up with words. Yunli clicked her tongue gazing at him before turning back to you.
”.Yanqing, thought it was best for you to come. As a last effort to try to quell the mara within him. If this doesn’t work, he will be forced to subdue his master to protect the Luofu and Xianzhou Alliance,” she murmured. Yanqing's eyes closed at Yunli’s blunt words.
You looked down on the ground.
Jing Yuan. Jing Yuan who always pulled you back in bed, lazily cuddling with you whenever it was time for you two to get up. Jing Yuan who would tease you with Tanghulu, stealing the last fruit without you realizing it. Jing Yuan who got you to hand the sparrows that seemingly always loved to land on him.
Jing Yuan whose lips dragged across your ear, whispering how much he admired you.
Jing Yuan who was the first person to tell you they loved you.
“Mx (Y/n)?” Yunli called out. You snapped out of your thoughts, quickly wiping away the tears that managed to spill out.
“Yes! Sorry, Yunli. Continue…. “ you replied. Although Yunli’s mouth opened to respond the next words were not heard but Yanqing
”Will you go and see him, please…” Yanqing begged in a broken whisper. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes.
”Yes, but with stipulations…”
Out of the places of the Luofu, you had explored and aventured, this was the first place you had never gone.
The secret unit had over five levels of security clearance and four levels underground. There was specialized personal guarding the only entry point. You and Yanqing walked in silence until you finally reached the final floor, where there was a single cell.
In the corner, Jing Yuan curled himself into a ball on the bed. His hair was wild and unkempt, but pieces of glowing ginkgo leaves seemed to be growing from it.
Yaoshi’s curse was claiming another.
Yanqing looked at you, eyes worried.
”Are you sure about this…” he murmured. You try to give him an encouraging smile to subside his fears.
”I’m positive…” you murmured.
Yanqing silently nodded as he opened the door to the former general’s cell. Jing Yuan didn’t move or react. You walked into the cell before the door was shut behind you.
”12 hrs. Remember, no one is allowed in here until then. Okay?” you called out behind the iron bars. Yanqing hesitated but nodded.
“Knights, clear out this level and guard the one before it,” Yanqing yelled out.
“Yes, General!” they all shouted in unison. The Cloud Knights in the area stood rigid and saluted before making their way up the stairs with him, leaving you and Jing Yuan alone.
You turned to him as he slowly uncurled himself, laying on his bed. His head had leaned against the concrete wall, a collar on his neck, wrist, and ankles.
You had heard in some cases, Luofu technology for high-risk prisoners would include these mechanics to induce an electrical shock but knowing Jing Yuan and his extreme power, it probably didn’t work on him.
His eyes finally met yours, narrowed and calculative—not the lazily warm way he used to. The biggest shock was how red they were, like freshly spilled blood than the warm golden light of the sun they used to be.
“You, why do you seem familiar? Who are you,” he grunted. You forced yourself to smile, gaze softening.
“Jing Yuan. It’s me. I know it’s been awhile. My hair might’ve changed a bit, but it’s me…” you whispered. You reached your hand and placed it on his cheek. As he recoiled back about to plant a counter attack on you, you could see him pause. He cautiously leaned back into your touch, eyes gazing up in your searching.
”...(Y/n)? You stayed. You didn’t leave after all!” he murmured. You could feel your heart shattered, as he grinned, wrapping his arms around you. His head leaned into the nape of your neck.
”I’m so happy you decided to stay after all. I didn’t want to be selfish and prevent your dream from seeing other worlds in an attempt to find a solution to Yaoshi’s curse…” he whispered, hugging you tighter. “But I wanted nothing more for you to just be by my side…”
He leaned away, eyes now an orange hue, mind, and body fighting against the mara in his system. He leaned away, grabbing your waist. His once usual lazy grin on his pale face.
”Marry me…”
”Jing Yuan...”
”Marry me…please. I’ll find you the best ring I can tomorrow, so forgive me for being so forward. I want to spend these centuries with you, and you being here in front of my eyes proves we are meant to be with each other,” he murmured.
You couldn’t stop yourself from breaking down in tears hearing his confession. You had left wanting to find a cure, to fight against an Aeon, to see Jing Yuan happy that no one else in Xianzhou would have to fear being mara-struck, but you found yourself here.
The one person you feared most getting it, without anything to show for your travels. How did you think you could compete against an Aeon? Perhaps this was Yaoshi’s personal punishment to you.
Jing Yuan sighed, getting up. His chapped lips kissed the salty stream of tears from your cheeks.
”Shhh, qīnàide. Why are you crying, my love? This should be a happy moment,” he cooed. You shook your head, lips quivering as you hiccuped and struggled to stammer words out.
”Jing Yuan, I love you too. Of course, I would marry you but…”
”No but’s. You said yes…” he teased. You placed your hands on his cheeks, pleading with him. You pressed your forehead against his, hoping your touch would ground him.
“Jing Yuan, I did end up leaving. I still haven’t found a cure for mara…for you, for everyone suffering on the Xianzhou. It’s been over 100 years since I left and joined the Astral Express.”
”I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Your blurry vision looked up to see Jing Yuan. His eyes were red again, but they gazed softly against yours. He brought his hand down, gently caressing your soft hair.
”I know. I’m sorry for being confused at first. I’m sorry you’re seeing me in this state, but I still meant what I said,” Jing Yuan sighed as he brought your crying form on his chest, lying beneath the uncomfortably small bed.
”...I’m not going to be able to stop this, am I?” you asked the now fluid Jing Yuan. He flashed a somber smile.
“...No.”
“Yanqing…”
“I know…”
You paused not knowing what to say.
“...I do have a favor to ask you though. However long we have to be together…” he murmured
“Marry me. Be mine for an hour, a day, anything. I’m just happy to have you in my arms once more.” he murmured. Lifting his hand to wipe more tears. His nails were sharpened and black.
”...Anything for you, Jing Yuan.”
His lips reached over and kissed you. Hand gliding up your sides as if to remember the feel of your skin beneath his touch. His large palms found a way beneath your shirt, guiding the fabric over your head and onto the ground.
He grabbed a handful of your chest. Lips moving away from your lips and trailing on your jaw and neck. You could feel his teeth were sharper than before, the tip of his canines grazing the sensitive subtle areas of your neck.
Jing Yuan easily ripped through his thin shirt, revealing areas where the mara could be physically seen, botches of his skin beginning to blacken and glow in golden hue.
Your hands gently glide down his large pectorals and abdomen, resting at the waist of his loose pants. Your hand darted beneath his pants, feeling his heavy cock beginning to rise from your touch.
Jing Yuan’s whole body shuttered before letting a grunt out. You tightly gripped his length, pulling it in a rhythmic motion as his breaths got heavier and heavier. Precum budded at his tip, as his cock quivered from your jerks.
You shimmied his pants down, as his cock slapped against his abdomen. You leaned down, poking your tongue out to lick the slit of its head. Jing Yuan grunted, eyebrows furrowed. His nails buried in the thin mattress of the bed, desperately trying to control himself.
Kissing his tip, you opened your mouth engulfing his length to your mouth. Salty yet sweet precum was already leaking down to your tongue. His grip was getting tighter, as an almost unhuman growl came from him.
“F-Fuck, darling!” Jing Yuan choked out with his head hung back to the wall. He desperately tried to quell his desires, wanting nothing more than to pull your head all the way down till he felt the back of your warm, wet throat.
You bobbled your head up and down, fingers drifting down your pants. Noticing this, Jing Yuan easily ripped the fabric—exposing your slit, drooling and waiting for him. As your tongue hit a prominent vein at the back of his cock, his body became more rigid— gingko beginning to glow more.
His large fingers swiped a finger between your folds and let it nudge against your throbbing clit with every stroke. Feeling your slick dripping down your inner thighs and his finger, he pushed past your puffy folds and slid it inside your dripping pussy. You bit your lip, barely muffling a moan feeling him pump. His eyes lapped up every shiver and moan from your lips. Memories of the times he had claimed you coming back to him.
He could feel your cunt fluttered down on his fingers drilling inside of you.
He wanted more.
He wanted to make up for these hundreds of years of not being beside you.
“...(Y/n)!!” Jing Yuan grunted. He let his desires finally get to him as his hand went down to your head, pushing you deeper against his cock surprising you, as you slightly choked. His hips slightly bucked, as you grabbed onto his thighs nostrils flaring to try and breathe.
His hips jolted as ropes of thick cum shot to the back of your throat. You tried swallowing, but it felt like a never-ending stream. Eventually, you lifted your head coughing as his essence streamed down your lips. His pace continued to be brutal, letting his thumb rub tight circles against your clit as your thighs squeezed together.
“That’s how I remember you. Come now, let me be reminded of that cute expression of yours,” he cooed. Your body shivered as your back arched, finally reaching your high with his name echoed from your lips. Jing Yuan smiled, sliding out of your pulsating cunt.
Jing Yuan repositions themselves, hovering on top of his still-hardened cock. It was still twitching as the veins wrapped around it throbbed in excitement.
Cock teased against your slit, nudging the top against your needy clit repeatedly as it burned in stimulation.
Catching your breath and looking down, you noticed his cock was unusual. In the darkness, you couldn’t tell much difference but observing it now, you could. You recalled him being long, and thick, with a few moles decorated near the base. It had a gradient now, his pale skin turning into an obsidian hue. His veins were golden, with every pulsate the light would brighten and dim.
“I finally get to have you again…” he whispered out almost in ecstasy, moving on top of you.
The head of his cock pressed into your entrance back and forth. Your body jolted as he slowly entered inside of you. You sucked a breath in, feeling him stretch you out wider and wider as he plunged deeper.
Jing Yuan hummed, letting his fingers swirl against your clit once more trying to distract you from the dull pain. A moan escaped your lips as he eventually bottomed out, tip hitting against your cervix.
Not even giving you time to get used to him, Jing Yuan began thrusting hard inside of you. Your hands gripped the sheets tightly, fingers digging into the cheap sheets. The bed squeaked and moaned, wood hitting against the concrete wall with the rapid pace he had set.
His lips connected with your neck, sucking and nibbling the skin. His canines, poke you every so often. A groan escaped Jing Yuan’s lips, addicted to the feeling of having your cunt squeeze him, trying to milk every drop from him. His balls smacked against your ass as your legs wrapped around his waist.
Lost in the pleasure, Jing Yuan let one of his hands go from your hips, noting the crescent moons from his sharp nails already developing there before grabbing onto your chin. He was drinking up your expressions. The way your lips curled and shouted his name. The light sheen of sweat on your skin. The smell of your perfume mixed with sex in the air.
He drank up one hundred years' worth like a man starving.
“I love you…I love you…I love you...I love you…” he grunted. His groans were becoming more and more unnatural and inhumane, as you desperately clung onto him.
Your velvety walls squeezed tight feeling the ridges of his cock rub against that mouth-watering spot inside of you. Your legs wrapped around his waist in a futile attempt for him to get even deeper.
His cock twitched inside of you as he propelled his cock inside of you faster. With his continued ministrations on your clit, it wasn’t long until you reached your second climax wrapping your arms around him.
He snapped his eyes shut, hips flattering letting ropes of his thick cum shoot inside of it. He slowly thrust, pushing it deeper, trying to nurse his body down from his high. A trail of his essence managed to leak out, and travel to your inner thighs despite his cock still plugged inside of you.
You caught your breath as Jing Yuan’s gaze shifted to the side, seemingly colder before meeting yours once more and warming up again. You brushed your hand against his white hair clinging to his forehead.
“...Will you be leaving again soon? I’m sure you can’t stay in my cell forever. 12 hours right?” he asked, placing his palms on top of yours that were on his cheeks. You could feel his cock still pulsating inside of you, his lazily bucking into you every so often.
“...Yes, but then in 24 hours I’ll see you again. I’m staying, this time. I promise. I’m going to make you better and make up for all that time,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him. Jing Yuan merely stared at the wall, crimson mara-struck eyes narrowing before turning to you and smiling.
“As long as you remain in the Luofu, by my side, I will be happy…” he replied.
The world seemed almost grey, your mind as foggy as a cloud. You don’t know how long you have been crying for. You just knew your eyes were puffy and stung from how much you had.
A few days after you saw him, Jing Yuan went to the point of no return. Many soldiers were lost in the chaos of it all.
Despite your visits, and him acting…mostly normal with you. Whenever you would leave, you’d hear reports the next day on how aggressive he had gotten. It only took three days for him to try to escape.
Reports read that he was set on leaving with you, no matter what it took. Yelling how he had to make it to the Express to see you. Or how you were waiting for him in your old shared apartment together. How you had promised you would come back to him.
Seeing you in the flesh and leaving again and again, even for short periods, left Jing Yuan’s mara-struck form desperate to get you back again and feel “normal”. His sanity finally had gone, leaving nothing but the mara to control your once beloved boyfriend.
Yanqing gave the last blow last night in a hard fought battle.
There wouldn’t be any more visits and the hope of finding a cure. He is gone, for good now.
Yunli had given you a key to his old place, insisting to get anything before the Cloud Knights removed everything.
Yet you found yourself curled into his old apartment and bed gazing at the unsent letters hidden in his desk drawer. Stacks of them for years. You could hear his voice telling you about his day, what he was working on, how Yanqing was improving, how he missed Jingliu
…How he missed you.
How he wished he actually proposed.
How he wished he started a family with you.
But most of all, how he wished to see you happy.
“It’s okay though. As much longing in my heart I have, I feel pride knowing you are saving other words and looking to help the Xianshou people. Whenever I look to the stars, I think of you. I love you. I wish I could see your smile right now.”
#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star x reader#hsr x reader#hsr smut#honkai star rail smut#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan smut#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#yandere honkai star rail#yandere jing yuan#tw yandere#tw character death
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prom - january 11 - jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 387
"Oh...no," Regulus murmured, staring out of his apartment window to the limo waiting in the street below.
James Potter never could do something halfway, could he?
Grumbling, he went to open the door, only to be greeted with a grinning James Potter in a tux, flowers pinned to his lapel, holding out a corsage.
"You didn't, Potter," Regulus breathed, heart hammering, palms sweating, adjusting his own collared shit. When James had told him to dress nice, he'd never imagined...
"Regulus Black, will you go to prom with me?" James asked, smile brighter than the goddamn sun.
"James, I'm twenty-two," Regulus protested, making a huge effort to frown even as a stupid smile threatened to burst from his body.
But the other man just continued to beam. "I...I couldn't stop thinking about what you said. About how you never went to prom."
"I know. You're not very good at hiding your feelings," Regulus said flatly, trying not to shake with pent-up emotion. It was true. Ever since Regulus had offhandedly told James that he hadn't been permitted to go to prom because of Walburga's strict rules and homophobia, James had been beside himself. But Regulus had never imagined James would do this.
"Well, I decided to do something about it," James continued, shaking the little plastic container containing the corsage. "So....?"
Still, Regulus couldn't stand the vulnerability of the moment. "Tell me we're not going to a smelly high school gym," he murmured, taking the container and opening it, admiring the white Calla lilies and gently slipping the bracelet around his wrist.
"No," James chuckled, looking delighted that Regulus had taken the offering. "We're going to my parents' place. I have the backyard set up, and all our friends will be there to make it...y'know...realistic. Sirius has been campaigning for him and Moony to be king and queen for days already."
Regulus snorted, but a wave of something heavier than amusement rolled through him. "You did all that for me?" he whispered, looking up into hazel eyes.
"'Course, baby. I love you," James smiled softly, offering his arm. "Shall we?"
And Regulus wordlessly linked their arms together, allowing James to lead him to the limo waiting downstairs. Privately, he was glad he missed his actual prom. It was much better to say his prom date was James Potter, anyway.
#marauders#harry potter#marauders era#marauders fandom#fanfic#harry potter marauders#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders harry potter#the marauders era#marauder era#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#sirius black#marauders fanfic#james potter x regulus black#james and regulus#james potter#james x regulus#regulus x james#regulus and james#regulus black#regulus arcturus black#james loves regulus#regulus deserved better#regulus black x james potter#jegulus#jegulus microfic#starchaser#sunseeker
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