#but alas people seem to be treating it in the same way they do the damn proposal letter

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

It's always been honest self-loathing in the published ASOS Arya XIII. As well as in Sandor's dialogue throughout the published ASOS, in Arya VI and elsewhere. (Meta posts on the subject: 1, 2, 3.) I'm glad the draft is letting others see it better, though.

Thinkin' about this Sandor tidbit from an earlier draft of ASOS. Found by redditor u/gsteff at the Cushing Library.

link

[luv4freddie]

Fools - T.N

in which the only Hufflepuff friend in the group of slytherins develops a crush on Theodore Nott— something only fools do.

fem!hufflepuff reader, bff Pansy, use of euphemisms and teasing yn for being innocent but sfw, reader is very emotional, jealous theo, 2800 words

"Y/n!!"

After a year, you'd think that people would get used to seeing the same Hufflepuff go over to the Slytherin table, but alas, half the Great Hall turned to watch you approach the table and take a seat next to Pansy.

She sticks her middle finger up behind your back, aiming it at all of the people who are still staring, and they quickly turn away. It was an unlikely friendship, but she was not going to let anyone make you feel bad about it.

"About time you get here," Draco huffs, "I've had to hear Pansy's 'girl talk' while you were sleeping."

You smile sheepishly at him, you had taken your sweet time this morning, hitting snooze a few times before listening to your favorite record and doing more singing than actually getting ready— resulting in you being extra late to breakfast.

"Sorry, Draco."

"Don't apologize yn, he doesn't deserve it."

You can hear the teasing lilt in Theo's voice from across the table, and Draco throws a handful of grapes at him.

"Whatever," Pansy turns her back to them, "did you hear, apparently the Hufflepuff chaser has a crush on you."

Your eyes flit between her face and your hands, and you wonder where she got her information from.

The boys around you seem to perk up at this, and Draco chides Pansy for deeming that piece of information unimportant compared to all her other, much more useless, girl talk this morning.

"Where on Earth did you hear that?" You cut in, not enjoying the way everyone is suddenly interested in your (nonexistent) love life.

"From a very trustworthy source," is all she'll give away, and you cringe.

"Can we change subjects, please?"

Theo narrows his eyes at you, as if he's searching your face for something.

"You don't care about it then? You're not jumping at the chance to ride his broom?"

The Slytherins around you snicker at his euphemism, but you go bright red.

"I- what! Why would you say- no!"

This only makes them laugh harder, but Pansy collects herself enough to place a reassuring hand on your arm.

"Don't worry, we all know our little puff would never."

You slap her hand away, upset at them treating you like a child.

"Well if you guys are only gonna tease me, I'm gonna go back to my own table."

"Y/n, we didn't mean-" Theo starts, but he's still got a smirk on his face, so you ignore him, leaving before he can try and stop you.

You take a seat at your own house table, and the Hufflepuffs around you immediately welcome you into their conversation.

You don't know why it bothered you so much. They were right, you weren't going to be "riding someone's broom" anytime soon, but hearing the way they talked about it— like you were just some silly, innocent baby— really bugged you.

If you were being honest with yourself, you also knew that deep down you've been repressing feelings for Theodore, because you knew enough stories about him to know it would never work. He was a heartthrob, and had no issue finding girls to entertain him at night— to him you were just a little girl. That conversation was just more proof. There's no way he'd be interested in you.

You unintentionally make eye contact with Zacharias Smith when you finally get out of your head, but you immediately look away, turning back to your friends just as Hannah asks about your Christmas plans.

You don't see your Slytherin friends again until Charms class, and Pansy immediately brings up what happened at breakfast.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that. I don't want you to feel bad, that's just how we are."

You give her a tight lipped smile, shrugging your shoulders. You've realized that most of the anger came from the realization that Theo probably saw you as a child, not actually their teasing.

"No biggie, it's forgiven."

She eyes you suspiciously but decides not to question it, instead starting to talk about her next party idea until she gets shushed when Professor Flitwick starts explaining directions.

You use the quiet moment to sneak a look at Theo, who's leaned back in his chair smirking at something Draco said next to him.

Pansy turns to you and you quickly shift your focus, but it appears she's already seen you. She gives you a raised eyebrow, and you play dumb, looking back at the teapot on your desk and trying to give it legs.

"What was that about back there?" Pansy asks as the two of you walk out together.

"I know it took me forever to get those stupid legs," you cringe, hoping to throw her off course.

"No I meant your staring."

You try not to look guilty, just shrugging your shoulders and explaining, "figured the boys might have figured it out faster. Should have known better."

She grins at that, muttering "you really should have." But something tells you she doesn't quite believe your story.

Your thoughts are only confirmed the next day when she invites you over to her dorm and then immediately suggests the two of you take veritaserum to play a game of truth or dare.

You let out a sigh.

"I'm not doing that Pans, just ask me whatever you want to know."

She grins, "you know me so well."

"Unfortunately," you tease, and she slaps your arm but asks her question anyway.

"Do you have a crush on Draco?"

Her face drops into confusion when you start laughing hysterically.

"That's what you thought? Merlin, you had me scared for no reason. No Pans, I absolutely do not have a crush on Draco."

She lets out a small sigh of relief, but you can tell she's a little peeved you laughed at her.

"Well what was I supposed to think? You got all grumpy yesterday when we were teasing you about your love life, and then the staring. It was either that or you're secretly in love with Nott, which, lets be for real."

She leaves it at that, but your cheeks flush pink. Be for real what? Be for real, he'd never want you? Be for real, what universe would the two of you work out? Be for real, he hates you?

The thoughts keep coming one after another, and suddenly your vision is blurred.

"Hey, woah, what's wrong?"

You cursed Pansy for being so observant.

"Nothing, I think my allergies are acting up." You say, but there's sadness in your voice, and there's an inch of snow outside, which isn't exactly pollen friendly.

"Don't lie to me y/n."

"I'm sorry for being so stupid and emotional." You cry, and Pansy rubs your back slowly.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being emotional! You don't see us do it much, but a lot of that's got to do with how we were raised. I wish I felt things as deeply as you do."

Your tears seem to slow, and she smiles.

"Now as for stupid, that depends on where that fit came from."

You look up at her in embarrassment, more hot tears threatening to fill your eyes.

"I... what did you mean?" You ask instead.

"Huh?"

"When you said be for real about me secretly being.." you couldn't bring yourself to say it, as if saying the words would make it true and something you could no longer push away and pretend wasn't there.

Realization dawns on Pansy's face, and she immediately wraps you up in a hug.

"Oh yn, it all makes sense now."

You continue to cry, and she looks at you with what you assume is pity in her eyes.

"I know, I'm such a fool! I know it would never happen, I know half of Hogwarts has a crush on him, I know he'd never want a girl like me." All of the things you'd been keeping to yourself and secretly thinking come spilling out of your mouth, and Pansy rubs your back while you continue to cry.

"Hey don't talk like that! Theo doesn't care about those people, and I know he cares about you. Not to mention, "a girl like you"? You're the exact type of girl that Theo needs. He practically never smiles the way he does when you're around. Just calm down okay?"

You nod through your cries, finally settling down as Pansy throws a magazine at you and the two of you lay across her bed.

Unknowingly, you end up falling asleep, tired from the amount of crying you did. Pansy notices but decides not to wake you, heading down to the common room where the guys would be getting back from quidditch practice soon.

When you wake up the room is dark, and a quick looks around reminds you you're in Pansy's room and not your own. You check the bathroom attached to the dorm, and when no one is in there you head down to the common room, assuming that's where she's gone to.

The whole group is sat on leather couches and armchairs when you make it down the stairs, and you rub the sleep out of your eyes as you approach the group.

"There's our bella addormentata," Theodore purrs, and you immediately flush even though you only understand half of his phrase. (sleeping beauty)

"Sorry for falling asleep." You apologize as you take the seat Pansy offered you, coincidentally landing between her and the reason for your crying.

"Stop apologizing so much," Theo whispers in your ear, and you refuse to look at him in fear of him seeing exactly the effect he has on you. Instead you continue to look at Pansy.

"No biggie, you needed it after that." She says, and you nod.

"After what? What happened?" Draco asked, ever the nosy weasel.

Pansy looked at you, obviously waiting for you to answer so she could go along with whatever you say.

You consider lying, but figure there's no point. They all know you're an emotional person, no one would find it unusual.

"I- uh- cried a little bit. Tired me out."

The boys (that you can see) all nod their heads in understanding and decide to switch topics, finally letting you relax.

However, since you'd turned your back to Theo, that now meant when you leaned back to get comfy you leaned directly into his chest, as he had one arm on the back of the couch behind you.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" You whisper, shooting back up and speaking only to him in an attempt to not draw attention from the others.

"Don't be silly," he says back, pulling your shoulders so you're back in the relaxed position against him, "you're welcome in my arms any day ragazza dolce." (Sweet girl)

You flush red again, but this time you do look up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes.

"You know I have absolutely no idea what you're saying, right?"

He grins, "that's part of the fun."

"Whatever," you turn back away from him to look at the group, your head resting right over his heart, "as long as you're not calling me a troll."

"I promise I'm not." He says, ruffling your hair before the both of you rejoin the main conversation.

"Zacharias Smith was at our practice today," Draco tells Pansy, and she looks at him in surprise.

"Really? Maybe he was looking for yn. She does sometimes keep me company in the stands."

"Oh he definitely was." Blaise smirks, and you feel Theo tense behind you. "Walked right up to Theo and asked where the pretty little one we're always hanging out with was."

"What?" Pansy shrieks, looking over, although you're unsure if the intentional target was you or the boy behind you. Her eyes momentarily widen at seeing your position before she notices something and smirks.

"Theo," she drawls, "I didn't notice those cuts on your knuckles earlier, is that new?"

Everyone turns to look at Theo, and you sit up in alarm, turning to look at his hand that's laying behind your spot on the couch.

"Theo! What happened? Why didn't you go get this checked out?"

He averts his eyes from your gaze. "Just wasn't thinking about it," he shrugs.

You frown. "How could you not be thinking about it, that looks painful!"

He shrugs again, grimacing when you grab his hand, insisting he let you heal it.

"Just let me go get my wand okay? I left it in Pansy's room."

You get up to leave, and with your back turned you don't see Pansy whisper to Theo and then him get up and follow you.

"I'll just come with." He announces, following you back to your friends room.

You try not to think about the intimacy of being alone with Theo while you tend to his wounds, trying once again to shove all your feelings down far in your heart.

Thankfully none of Pansy's roommates had come back, and Theo sits on her bed while you grab your wand from her nightstand before standing in between his spread legs.

"Give me your hand."

He complies, and you try not to blush at the warmth of his, much bigger, hand resting on your own.

"This is nasty Theo, did you punch a wall or something?" You ask, beginning to heal a few of the cuts. Luckily most of them were clean from where he'd washed them when he showered after practice, but they were scabbed over and his knuckles were blue with beginning to form bruises.

He lets out an amused huff of laughter and you stop your ministrations, looking up at him immediately.

"Tell me you didn't actually punch a wall."

He shrugs, "it was either that or Smith, and I know you don't like when I get into fights."

You feel yourself heat up. He didn't hit someone because of your preference, and the person just happened to be the guy who supposedly has a crush on you.

"Well I'm glad you didn't send my housemate to the hospital wing at least, although I wish you wouldn't have hurt yourself," you sigh, continuing to heal his hands.

Out of nowhere he pulls it away.

"Theo?"

"Look, I-" he cards a hand through his hair, contemplating his next words. "I didn't like it that Smith came looking for you. Especially that he asked me."

You look at him in confusion, "what? Why?"

He looks distraught, but he can't help the crooked smile that etches itself on his face.

"You're damn oblivious, you know that?"

You continue to look at him, no thoughts behind your eyes.

"Uh, I mean I guess? I've been told that a few times, though I'm not sure how it's pertinent to this situation."

Suddenly Theo's hands are on your cheeks, and his face is inches from your own.

"What- what are you doing?"

"I want to kiss you." He states plainly, as if it's the most normal thing in the world— as if the five words didn't have you spiraling out of control.

"Wait- do you want to kiss me because you think I'm like pretty or do you want to kiss me because you like me?"

You'd never even thought he would consider you pretty, but at his words you had to rethink a lot of things you thought you knew.

"I like you, amorina." (Little love)

"Really?" You know you should be celebrating, but you can't help the doubt that creeps into your mind. "You don't think I'm a silly, innocent, little Hufflepuff?"

He grins, "you can be my silly little Hufflepuff. And no I don't care that you're not jumping at the opportunity to go broom hopping."

You can't help but laugh a his phrasing, but you're glad he knew what you meant.

"I like you, amorina, I don't care about anything else, as long as I get you."

You smile, and Theo swears he could die happy if it's the last thing he sees.

"Well in that case, I want you to kiss me too."

He can barely hold back his own smile as he places his lips on yours, cradling your jaw with one hand while the other holds your hip.

He kissed you gently, not at all like what you'd expected, but you feel his adoration flowing out of it, and you can't help but break it to let out a giggle.

"And to think I was crying over you a few hours ago."

He grins, standing up and grabbing your hand to walk back down to the common room together, where your friends were waiting for you to go to dinner.

"No more crying over me okay?"

You nod your head, and he pulls you in for one more kiss before you rejoin the rest of your friends.

[chubby-bun-bun]

untitled (part 4)

The man you stumbled into is bleeding out. And he's distractingly pretty.

nav: one, two, three, four (current), five, six or: read on ao3

tags: sylus x reader, an au where you're an average citizen, slow burn, mentions of blood, fluff, you panic bc of his lethal face card, valid reaction tbh, 10/10 would do the same

Interacting directly with a beautiful man reduces you to an idiot, you realize.

You’ve met attractive men before—had crushes on such men. They weren’t necessarily easy on the eyes, but there was always something they said, did, or had that made you feel some type of way about them. The seventh-grade classmate who shushed your chattering peers during your presentation. The corner store clerk with pretty hands. The college senior who made you feel welcome at your acquaintance party. The tall guy who unknowingly saved you from getting squished by the sardine-packed commuters on the train.

Sure, your next interactions with them made you hyper-aware of their presence for a time—hanging on to their every word and unknowingly seeking them out in the room. But you think you remained fairly casual and blasé with them, as you do with most things.

Unlike right now.

As your mind begins to clear, you register that you’re stripped down to just your base layer. In the middle of winter. Your puffer jacket lies damp on the ground, and your sweater—now sporting huge splotches of blood—is folded haphazardly against the man’s abdomen. (You try not to let the sight of the dark liquid summon the remains of your dinner.)

Your gaze flickers between his ruined shirt and your clasped hands, cupped by his much larger, warmer ones. When you look up, you’re taken aback to find his intense garnet eyes already locked on you.

“Are you alright?�� he asks, the deep, velvety timbre of his voice compelling you to straighten up unconsciously.

“Yes,” you splutter, air barely making it past your throat. Then, your eyes widen. “Are you alright?” you stress, gesturing wildly to the concerning state of his abdominal area.

He chuckles. “Never been better.”

You gape at him. “But you’re bleeding!”

He glances down at his bloodied clothes. “It appears so.”

You like to think you have a good head on your shoulders. You always stay on the correct side of the sidewalk. You tidy up your table as much as you can at food joints. You try to abide by city recycling guidelines to make life easier for sanitation workers. And you’re decently vigilant, thanks to the countless true crime documentaries you’ve crammed into your brain.

But alas, it seems a beautiful man is all it takes for common sense to call it a day.

“Okay, so I actually won some groceries earlier, and I think I have some first-aid supplies in there,” you babble, missing the knowing glint in his eyes. “My house is just a little further down the street. If you want, I can treat your wound there?”

He’s still holding your hands. You realize your palms must be clammy from cold sweat—and his blood. You politely pull your hands back with a laugh you hope sounds natural. (It doesn’t.)

“Oh wait, you probably need a hospital,” you blurt, mentally berating yourself for not considering this first. You start fishing for your phone in your jeans pocket. “I can call the emergency hotline for Akso Hospital. I work there. Um, I can even ride with you in the ambulance if you’d like?”

The man laughs, his eyes crinkling in amusement.

“I appreciate the help, sweetie, but you shouldn’t be so quick to give out personal information to people you just met.”

Heat creeps up your neck. He’s right. You’re basically handing him a free pass to rob your place. What if he’s a serial killer?

As you feel yourself spiraling further, he begins to stand, grabbing your dropped jacket as he rises. You instinctively lean back, mouth agape at his towering height and the fact that he just stood up—quite gracefully—despite clutching his wound mere moments ago.

“I’ll have your sweater washed and dry-cleaned,” he says, folding the soiled fabrics neatly into compact squares. “Know that your assistance back there is much appreciated.”

“Oh—! It was nothing. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

A single snowflake lands on your face and you blink, nose twitching at the gentle melting sensation. Looking up, you notice the sky is now a beautiful backdrop of powdery snow, falling softly around you.

“It’s getting late,” he observes, also gazing up at the scenery. “Let me walk you home.”

Before you can protest, he drapes his coat over your shoulders. You’re immediately overwhelmed by the scent of fresh linen and something distinctly masculine that has you instinctively relaxing into the warm confines of the comically oversized garment.

“But aren’t you cold?” you ask, unknowingly tucking yourself further into his coat.

“No,” he responds with a hint of laughter, pressing a hand to your back to gently guide you toward the park entrance.

The short walk to your house is surprisingly comfortable. Aside from occasionally fumbling over your words and avoiding his gaze (his face is distractingly handsome, and his impressive height and physique make you strangely self-conscious), you manage a decent conversation.

You learn he was taking a casual stroll when he had a “squabble” with some old business partners. You can only stare at the back of his head at this revelation. What kind of squabble leads to a wound like that? And how is he acting so fine now? If it weren’t for the bloodstain on his expensive-looking high-neck top, you’d think you hallucinated the whole thing.

You also learn he’s visiting the city on a business trip. After hearing this, the rest of the walk is filled with you recommending your favorite places: the food spots you’re yet to use your lifetime vouchers for, the cat café with the snooty caracal you love petting, and the old arcade where you’ve won most of your plushie collection. (You make sure to share with him a few secret tricks for mastering the darn two-pronged claw machine.)

Belatedly, it dawns on you that such activities might hold little interest for a man like him. Flustered, you open your mouth to undo the torrent of nonsense you’ve been spouting, when he suddenly stops and turns to face you.

“Your recommendations are duly noted,” he says, eyes glowing with amusement. “I’ll be sure to try them sometime.”

You’ve arrived at your house. You're surprised by the unexpected pang of disappointment you feel.

“Thank you for walking me home,” you murmur, suddenly feeling shy.

He hands over your now-drier puffer jacket. “It was my pleasure. Now go inside before you turn into an icicle.”

“Oh—your coat,” you exclaim, beginning to shrug it off. But he stops you with a raised hand.

“Keep it,” he tells you. “I’ll get it back when I return your sweater.”

You hesitate. “Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Then, as if recalling a secret you’re not privy to, he smiles softly. “I trust it’ll be in safe hands. You seem exceptional at caring for things.”

Before you can unpack his words, he turns and starts walking toward the main road.

“Wait! What’s your name?” You can't believe you haven't asked till now.

He pauses before glancing over his shoulder.

“Sylus,” he finally says.

“Sylus,” you repeat, liking the way it rolls off your tongue. “It’s a pretty name.”

Your hand flies to your mouth, eyes widening in horror. Why not tell him he’s hot while you’re at it, doofus?

As you fumble for an apology and prepare to sentence yourself to a blabbermouth timeout, he chuckles.

“Indeed it is.”

You can’t quite put your finger on it, but there’s a trace of melancholy in his voice that stays with you.

With a wave, he walks into the snowy dark, his figure gradually fading.

And that’s when it hits you.

How did he know which house was yours?

note: seeing the love this series has gotten has been surprising! the comments, reblog captions, and tags you leave are honestly hilarious and i had a blast reading through them 💞

nav: one, two, three, four (current), five, six or: read on ao3

tag list: @thepotatoislost, @xxfaithlynxx, @browneyedgirl22, @vorfreudevortex

check out my other works!

[itadores]

note: actor!nanami plaguing me frfr

tags: fem!reader, actor!au (you and nanami both), nanami is the most perfectest gentleman ever <3

actor!nanami who is so beloved by his audience for how respectful and polite he is. he’s not uppity like some actors of his standing, nothing like those who have let the amount of fame they’ve accumulated over-inflate their ego and level of self-importance. he treats celebrities and normal everyday people alike with the respect they deserve. nanami believes the bar must be in hell for him to be praised for having some common decency, but alas he also knows how fickle people of fame and fortune can be.

but it’s not just nanami’s well-mannered nature that has people singing his praises. no, it’s the way he treats you — his co-star. fans were excited to learn of the two of you starring in a film together and became even more ecstatic when they learned you would be playing each other’s love interests. you and nanami are both incredible actors, well-known and well-loved, but have never starred in the same film before until now. it has people buzzing to know how you two will mesh with one another on screen and wondering how the chemistry between you guys will take shape.

since the film is soon to premiere in just a short while, you and nanami do a number of various interviews to promote it. fans promptly lose their minds when the interviews finally air. not only do you and nanami complement each other very well much to their utter delight, but nanami is such a gentleman in each and every interview with you. he’s always offering a hand to you and helping you in and out of your seat at the start and end of the interviews. wordlessly passing you the water bottle by your feet when it seems like you may be getting thirsty. redirecting any potentially rude questions posed to you while chastising the interviewer in the process. it makes fans swoon watching how nice he is with you.

but what really has fans going wild is the way nanami helps with any wardrobe malfunctions you may have. if the strap of your top happens to slip down, nanami gently pulls it back onto your shoulder to its original place. if you bend over or lean forward too much and your chest becomes overly exposed, nanami is reaching a hand across to help cover you up. or if your skirt rides up, threatening to reveal your undergarments to the camera, nanami is carefully tugging the edge of your skirt down. he does all of this without missing a beat when speaking, his movements practiced as if he’s more than accustomed to doing this.

it quite literally breaks the internet. edits and compilations of you and nanami flood social media immediately, and rumors abound about whether you two are together or not. i mean, they’ve never seen nanami act so comfortable with a co-star before! he seemed to be throughly enjoying himself throughout the interviews, even cracking a smile multiple times, which is so unlike him. fans are divided on whether your guys’ closeness is just to generate more interest in the film or whether the chemistry between you two is real. regardless, many are shipping the two of you together, a mash of your names trending across all social medias.

it makes you laugh.

if you had known you’d receive this kind of reaction, you would have starred in a film with your husband sooner.

[withleeknow]

my moon and stars.

pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, (tooth-rotting) fluff; even tho it's unedited this is still one of my favorite things that i've written on this blog so far !!! gaaaaaaah word count: 1.1k listen to 🎧: lover - taylor swift

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › masterlist › ko-fi

nobody thought jeongin would be the next one to get married, but alas, here you are, at the reception of your friend's wedding, nursing a glass of champagne.

"come on," minho says, snatching the glass away from you and finishing the rest of it in one gulp, before he takes you by the hand and tugs you forward. "let’s go dance."

you can't even be annoyed that he basically just stole your drink. instead, you just laugh, and let the love of your life drag you to the dance floor.

he guides you to move in a slow rhythm, matching the tempo of the song that's playing in the background. it's a song that you would usually think is overrated and has been played to hell and back, but in the moment, drunk on the cozy atmosphere, you think it's nice. you briefly wonder what song you would choose for your first dance at your own wedding.

it's just a fleeting thought. you've been having those all day.

jeongin's wedding was beautiful. everything was done to perfection, and you have no doubt that most of it was overseen by his girlfriend.

nope, correction: she's his wife now.

nevertheless, you've been imagining yourself and minho in a similar setting. you in a stunning white dress. him, dashing in a classy suit. the two of you exchanging vows with teary eyes in front of your friends and families. the cats as ring bearers. sealing forever with a deep kiss and fond smiles.

as you continue to sway along to the music, you wrap your arms around minho's neck and pull him closer. there's something in the way that he's been treating you all day that makes you melt even more than it usually does. he's been more touchy; there's not a single moment where his hands aren't on your body in any way, whether it be a hand on your knee, on the small of your back, or an arm around your waist. minho isn't often overt with his affection like that; he tends to dote on you in the privacy of your own loving bubble, away from anyone and everyone.

then, there's the softness that he's looking at you with in his chocolate brown eyes. it's warm, saccharine; it makes you feel like you two are the only people left in the room even though this is supposed to be someone else's big day.

"i love you," he says suddenly, brushing his nose against yours before leaning in just a tad closer to your lips, "you mean the world to me."

it's rare for minho to say things like this out of the blue. he's a man of few words after all.

he's full of surprises today, it seems.

"what's the occasion?" you ask with a coy smile.

"no occasion. just wanted to tell you that."

you close the distance, pressing your lips against his as his arms wrap themselves tighter around your body. "i love you too," you smile against him.

he mirrors your smile, and kisses you deeper. he's so sweet today, so openly loving with you even as your friends around you watch on.

you have an inkling that maybe, just maybe, he's been thinking the same things as you.

you stay in each other's arms until the song ends, then another one, then a couple more, just basking in soothing glow of love that's covering the air tonight. minutes pass with kisses shared, until it's finally time for the bouquet toss.

minho reluctantly lets you leave his side for the first time since the morning. his eyes follow you as you move to the front of the room, standing a comfortable distance away from the bride. you've never really been interested in this kind of things anyway; you're just doing it for the sake of participation.

everyone else is engrossed in what's about to happen, their eyes fixed on the bride and the peonies in her hands, but minho is only focused on you. you, who's trying to blend in with the group of people and undoubtedly praying that the bouquet doesn't make its way into your hands. you, whom he thinks looks so beautiful, all dolled up for the special occasion. you, who made his heart stutter when you walked into the room in your pretty dress and flashed him a bashful smile. (but who is he kidding? you make his heart want to give out and run away every single morning when he wakes up and sees you peacefully sleeping in his arms.)

just you. always only you.

you, you, you.

you don't hang in the moon in the sky. you are the moon, you are the stars.

minho watches you watch the bride as she counts down from 3, then flings the bouquet up in the air while everyone waits with bated breath. it's a mess of flailing arms from what he can tell, a couple of the bridesmaids practically fighting each other to try and grab the damn thing.

you try to make yourself smaller, to duck lower so that the others could have the honor instead of you. but when the flowers come hurling toward you, you have no choice but to raise your hands and catch it, lest you want to be lobbed in the face with a bouquet of peonies.

some of the people around you sigh frustratedly, but most of the guys around minho suddenly burst into loud cheers. they clap him on the back and shake him by the shoulders but still, he remains transfixed on you and your adorable wide-eyed expression. your parted lips and doe eyes blinking fast as a rosy flush creeps up your skin.

your eyes find him in an instant, and you both just stare at each other for a moment. he reckons that you're trying to gauge his reaction, because the room is now filled with excited squeals of congratulations and half-hearted jokes of how you and minho are going to be the next ones to get hitched.

you look uncertain, still frozen in place with your hands clutching the peonies.

but then he just smiles, and it makes you smile too, your body immediately relaxing as you give him a wave using the bouquet, your shoulders slumping slightly when you release a sigh.

to minho, it doesn't matter whether you caught the flowers or not; neither of you believes in that kind of stuff anyway. it doesn't matter because he's always known that he was going to marry you, that there's no one else he would rather spend the rest of his life with.

it doesn't matter because unbeknownst to you, he's already got a velvet box hidden somewhere in your shared home, with a gorgeous diamond ring inside just waiting for the day it can be put on your finger.

permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos @mjnhoz @caitlyn98s @piercidh34rts  @stayceebs97

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 08.01.2024]

[backtothefanfiction]

Nicknames

Summary; explaining where you and Felix get your nicknames for each other from.

Warnings: fluff, tragic backstory, neglect, sibling bullying

A/N: the whole point of the Summer at Saltburn shorts is that you can read them in any order and they make sense but this is probably one with the most context as to why reader lives/spends their school holidays at Saltburn.

Summers at Saltburn Masterlist

You can’t remember a single summer you haven’t spent at Saltburn. Even as a kid, before your father ran off to South America (when he came under investigation for embezzling company funds), you had always spent some time at your Godfather’s house; because his kids were the same age as you. You were the youngest of four, a “happy” accident 6 years after your older brother had been born. He was supposed to be the baby of the family, not you and the age difference between you and them (they all had only a year or two between them) made them cruel.

Felix had started to call you Daisy in response to hearing your older brothers and sister refer to you as Oopsy at one of his parents parties.

“Why do you call her Daisy, my darling?” Elspeth had asked her son when she realised he’d started to refer to you exclusively as the small yet resilient dainty flower.

“Because her family call her oopsy, as in oopsy Daisy.” He says through a mouthful of food.

“Oh how horrible. Is that true darling?” She says turning towards you. Elspeth had always treated you as if you were one of her own and the thought of people being so cruel to you made her blood simmer under her collected exterior.

You paused before saying “yes,” unable to look her in the eyes.

“Well,” she said, patting your hand that lay resting on the table between the two of you, “I much prefer Daisy, because you are. You are beautiful and strong and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

——————/////—————

You had taken to calling Felix “Fix” only a few summers back, when he finished secondary school and brought his first school friend home for the summer. It wasn’t until another 3 summers later and Felix brought Oliver home for the summer that he finally asked you why.

You had decided to hide yourself in the field in hope of actually trying to get through one of the books you’d brought with you to read this summer. You actually hated the field. It had a very specific rule, if you were going to lie out in the field, you have to do it naked. It wasn’t the rule itself that made you hate it, but the fact you always seemed to get bit by something hiding in the long grass.

You’d managed to sneak away and remain undetected for all of 30 minutes (which was a new kind of record because searching the whole house for someone could take up to an hour at times) before Felix came stalking across the field towards you.

“Clothes.” You called out from behind your book.

He was silent as he stripped off his polo shirt and shorts before stomping through the long grass towards you. He remained silent as you continued to read but his fidgety fingers and legs told you there was something he wanted to talk about.

“Just say it.” You say, your eyes pausing at the end of a paragraph to make sure you wouldn’t lose your spot, hoping his question would have a quick answer and you could go back to the novel in your hand.

“Why do you call me Fix?” He says.

It’s not a question you were expecting and find yourself dropping your book into your lap to turn and look at him. “I thought it was obvious.” You say, peering over the tops of your sunglasses at him.

“Well apparently it’s not.” He replies.

“It’s because you like to fix people.” You say, lifting your book back up to your eyes, figuring it was answer enough, but alas, Felix protested.

“I don’t like to fix people.” He scoffs and as you look over the top of your book at him, you can see the small scowl forming on his face around his furrowed brow.

“Oh yeah?” You say before you both get distracted by the sound of another pair of feet making their way across the field towards you. You look to see Oliver making his way towards you both and it’s like the god’s have just handed this to you on a plate. “Ahhh look,” you say, seizing the opportunity, “here comes exhibit C.” You say to Felix, before shouting a reminder of “Clothes!” At Oliver.

Felix doesn’t say any more about it that afternoon, but when he corners you that evening before dinner, he has to ask. “Okay, so if Ollie is exhibit C, I’m assuming Michael was exhibit B…” he pauses as he waits for you to give him a small nod of confirmation before he asks, “Who’s exhibit A?”

“Me.” You say, as if it’s obvious. One look at his face tells you that you’ve stunned him into silence. Your face is calm and confident as you make your way into the dining room, leaving him alone in the hallway to ponder his thoughts.

[koolades-world]

HIIII CONGRATS ON 2K FOLLOWERS 🗣🗣🗣

Can I request prompt #32 with Mammon?! Where the brothers are doing their usual teasing of Mammon and it finally gets to him. He then goes to MC for comfort! Maybe cuddling involved? 👀

thank you! of course you can :)

i love a good hurt comfort with mammon

enjoy <3

prompt 32 w/ Mammon

You loved the brothers, no doubt. You’d all formed unbreakable bonds and you spent lots of time together. They loved each other too. But at the end of the day, they were demon who really did treat each other as siblings. They were downright cruel to each other at times. You understood to some degree, but you and your siblings never went that far. You would get into a loud argument, but about ten minutes later, be good friends again and give each other a helping hand. Maybe that’s how the brothers expected their relationship to be, but it felt like more times than not, they took things a little too far.

It was oddly quiet in the house. You and Lucifer were sitting in his room together. He was doing paperwork, while you tried planning the latest shenanigan that Diavolo had proposed. You occasionally asked him for advice or his opinion on something. From time to time, the two of you would randomly start to chat about things that happened to come to mind. It was nice to work in silence, but it did leave you questioning what the rest of the household was doing.

“Do you think I should try plan the venue set up around the ice sculpture, or the games? If the sculpture was in the center, it would definitely help elevate the overall elegance, but the games are the whole point of the event. I’m not really sure what Diavolo was thinking asking me to plan a classy, but fun event. It’s very him though, I will say.” You stared blankly at the paper you were sketching on. It was rather crude, but it was only the first draft.

Lucifer remained silent for a second. “Plan around the games. The sculpture can be at the far end of the venue. Still center, but helps put the focus on what Lord Diavolo wanted. Besides, who know what kinds of games he wants to plan? The more room the better.” Lucifer didn’t look up from his work, but you could tell he’d thought hard about what you’d said.

“Thanks. You’re right.” You went back to sketching, making note of what he said off to the side with your other little notes. The two of you sat in silence for a little while longer, before Lucifer spoke up again.

“It’s awfully silent. I think I’m going to go check up on everyone.” He abruptly got up. You had been thinking the same thing.

“Alright, I’ll stay here for now I think. If you have any issues, call me.” You had a few ideas you wanted to get down, alas you forget them.

“I’ll be back shortly.” He shut the door behind him, leaving you alone in his room. You thought about snooping a little, but that would be a breach of his privacy. Besides, how many people could say they were trusted so much so by Lucifer himself that they were left alone in his room? You continued to work, jotting down ideas that came to mind to bring up with Diavolo and Barbatos later.

When you finally looked up, you realized Lucifer still wasn’t back. With that, you got up and decided to look for him. He hadn’t called for you, but knowing him, he wouldn’t even if there was something wrong. The house was still silent. It gave you an icky sort of dread. Something was wrong. You grew more and more panicked by the minute, throwing open every door in the house in search of anybody, but to no avail. The last place you could think to check was outside.

Fortunately, they were all out there.

Unfortunately, some kind of conflict seemed to be happening.

You struggled to take in everything that happening, But, the first thing you zeroed in on was Mammon. He strangely wasn’t part of whatever was happening. He was sitting on the ground, head hanging and looking defeated. Ignoring everyone else, you quickly made your way over to him and knelt beside him. He didn’t even turn to acknowledge you.

“Mammon?” You took his hand, but you still got no reaction. You gently took his face in your other hand and turned it towards you. You’ll never forget the expression on his face. It was devoid of the joy and that smile you were so used to seeing. Instead, it was blank. It was eerie seeing him with a blank slate of an expression. He looked without looking, as if he didn’t even register you were there. “Mams. Let’s go inside.” You didn’t know what happened, but that could wait. Right now, you knew he needed to be away from the ongoing argument. They were so into the fight, they didn’t even notice the two of you leaving.

After you shut the door behind you, the din was deafened. No wonder you didn’t realize they were outside. You led Mammon back up to his room and locked the door behind the both of you. You knew he had some snacks and drinks in his mini fridge in case you needed them. You sat him down, and threw one of the blankets you’d left in his room around his shoulder. “What happened?” Now that the two of you were alone, you figured he might be more receptive to you.

Mammon turned to look at you: the most reaction you’d see out of him so far. He stared at you, and you held his hand comfortingly. He gazed at you, still with a mostly blank expression. “Yer too good to me.” He finally spoke.

“You deserve it. I don’t think I could imagine my life without you.” You were a little confused where all of this was coming from, making you wonder what might have happened.

“Well, my brothers could. They don’t need me.” He looked away from you again.

“What are you talking about? Of course they need you. This family wouldn’t be complete without you. You’re the great Mammon.” You tried to lift his spirits, but it didn’t seem to work.

“Ya’d think differently if you didn’t see me so positively. I’m a piece of scum.” You lent forward a little, trying to meet his eyes, but he fully turned away. He gripped your hand tighter. You sunk back into your chair, but he didn’t move back to how he was before.

“What’d they say?” You move his hand and held it to your chest.

“They told me I was a stain on the family and I didn’t deserve my title. That all I did was make their life harder. They said it in the heat of the argument, so maybe they didn’t mean it, but I’m starting to thing they’re right.” You felt your heart throb for him. It seemed as if he was past the point of tears, because you saw none now and before. He seemed almost numb to it all. If you didn’t know him, you’d just assume he was tired. But you did. And you knew just what you needed to say to try and help.

“You’re Mammon. You fought beside Lucifer and earned your spot fair and square. They might not see what makes you special, but I do.I got to know you much more recently than they did, but we’re so close. Did you ever stop to wonder why? You’re so sweet and loving to me, even early on. It was really great to know I could trust someone in this new and scary world. To me, you’re perfect. I don’t care what anyone else says. You’re my first demon, after all.” You spoke from the heart. “You light up my world, Mams. I’m really glad I met you.” While he was still facing away from you, you felt the grip on your hand soften a little.

“Do ya really think that?” He seemed tentative with his words, as if you might take them back any second.

He still seemed unsure, so you continued. “Think of it this way. Every choice you ever made led you here, and the same goes for me. Even if every choice was a bad one, which they weren’t, we still ended up here, together. You make my life better, and if I need to tell you it a million times, I will.”

“Really?” He finally turned back to look at you. His eyes were still free to tears, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Of course I do. Why else would I be here with you right now?” With that, Mammon tackled you into a hug. You playfully screamed, but hugged him back. He needed it. You let him have his moment, and the two of you remained snuggled up in your blanket on his bed. He rolled over, so you were on top of the cuddle hug now.

“I can’t be suffocating my human, now can I?” His signature smile was back. You were glad you were able to help him. You’d do anything for that smile.

“Prime example of you being sweet.” You laughed as he threw the blanket over your head. As much as he tended to deny it, he truly did love his human. You picked him up during times likes this and supported him no matter what, even when he tended to act prickly with his emotions. You were just what he needed in his life.

[victoriadallonfan]

Having re-watched Alien (1979) and Aliens (1985), I think I've realized what went wrong with the further expanded film universe on a thematic level (this is not accounting for AVP films, which seem to exist within their own continuity atm).

The main issue is that these films made 2 intertwining mistakes:

Making the Xenomorph too animalistic

Removing the mystery of space

For the first part, Alien and Aliens are quite vague about the Xenomorph mind. Alien treats it almost like a serial killer at times, including a particularly interesting moment where it disregards Jones the Cat entirely, despite making a very easy target, and how it will sometimes meander up to the crew as if it knows it's inflicting terror upon them. This Xenomorph even seems to only flee when Parker goes to kill it with a knife and hides within the evac shuttle when it realizes that Ripley was going there as well.

Aliens forgoes this in favor of showing how terrifying their numbers are even in the face of superior (if greatly mislead) fire power, but then pulls the rug under our protagonists by (seemingly) cutting the power and testing the endurance of the auto-turrets. While the drones are not individually as intelligent as the original xenomorph from the first film, this is instead given to the Queen, who understands not only the danger Ripley poses to her Hive but hostage negotiations of the most blunt variety. And, of course, incredible spite and vengeance when Ripley burns her eggs.

Basically, the two films do a good job of making you wonder... how sapient and sentient are the Xenomorphs? Do we take Ash's word and think of them as simply Hostile Weapons or do we see them for the adaptable and complex - if instinct guided - parasites just trying to protect their hive? This is further food for thought when we learn that one of the cut endings would have had the Xenomorph kill Ripley, tentatively use the shuttles control panel, and speak into the intercom with Dallas voice (ala Predator).

Imo, that goes too far into making them human, but we'll circle back to that later. The point is that the Xenomorph is never clearly one thing or another, but rather, something that constantly foils our attempts to understand them completely.

Aliens 3, Alien: Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien: Covenant fail in that regard, because they take the firm stance that the Xenomorph is... an animal. A very, very, dangerous and hostile animal but an animal nonetheless. It's not some vague horror that we struggle to comprehend and reason with, because all the facts (as they are for now) are laid out: the Xenomorphs are weaponized animals that just kill, reproduce, and kill etc etc.

Nothing is entirely new about the Xenomorphs in these movies (beyond the forms and one part of Covenant, but we'll circle back to that as well), but rather trying to recapture the formula of Alien and Aliens. And even when the film isn't necessarily about the Xenomorphs like Prometheus, it still goes out of its way to copy the play by play of Alien to an almost hilarious degree (except, somehow, having a cast entirely of stupid scientists).

The Xenomorph is used as a toll for the films to talk more about the human threats who would use them, which is fine, except the same message of "Weyland-Yutani wants Xenomorphs, They Failed" over and over again (except I guess for Alien: Resurrection, but that had Walmart as a plot point so...) gets tedious. It's not longer about the folley of mankind, but rather this one company led by a man (or Android?) who keeps fucking up.

Ditto goes for the second part: removing the mystery from space. Alien and Aliens treat the Space Jockey and other (non-Xenomorph) alien life at an arms distance. They are large, grand, ominous, and vaguely defined. We don't know much about WY in either movie, nor how much is them knowing versus independent people within the company (Burke mentions cutting out his own bosses for profit for example, and Bishop the company Android is heroic and horrified at the situation they are all in, a big difference to Ash). The Xenomorphs having a Queen was a huge reveal, because we literally had no idea until then if those were actual eggs or simply pods artificially created.

Aliens 3 tries to add some mystery with the prison colony, but it's also hamfisted and given a lot of exposition to explain the situation they are in, but I will give it kudos for making Weyland (???) look like Bishop as a twist. Aliens: Resurrection... yeah, no.

Prometheus and Alien Covenant gave us a plethora of seeming mysteries, but also gives us really super simple answers. Basically, Space Jockeys are just super humans seeding life across the planets and they wanted to bomb Earth into oblivion because we killed Jesus Christ (who was a Space Jockey). And one of our androids then - possibly - goes to their home planet and bombs them to oblivion thus wiping out the human race. And they made Xenomorphs yadda yadda.

Prometheus in particular seems to despise the idea of space being a mystery, with the conversation David has with a scientist being plainly spelled out as the theme of the film: "Sometimes, humans/space jockeys just build shit, and it goes wrong I guess. No gods or mysteries here, just hubris."

Which, if handled well, is still a fascinating idea (I think it's a pretty interesting 'take-that' against the stupidity of Ancient Alien Conspiracy Theorists)... but it's not handled well. At all. And certainly doesn't work well when trying to write Xeno-Horror.

So, what COULD work?

Well, I think we need to look at how Alien and Aliens made the Xenomorphs, Space Jockey's, and Space itself all work.

For the xenomorphs, I think back to one scene I actually thought was interesting in Alien: Covenant; as a chestburster is born from a hapless scientist, it lays its eyes (???) on David and replicates his movements, mimicking the first living thing it witnesses. Nothing is ever done with this (of course), but think about the potential that could be used! Plenty of animals like crows, ravens, dolphins, octopi, killer whales etc etc can use mimicry in voices and actions, and that includes things like tool-use! And of course, the fact that they take on new forms from hosts helps with that.

For the Space Jockey's: scrap them. They had their time, the mystery is basically solved. Show us new and different alien civilizations long past. Were they also victims of the Xenomorphs? From some other threat entirely? Surely, there are extraterrestrial predators out there that don't follow the Xenomorph formula. Why not have them share the splotlight, with just as little explanation?

For space itself: stop with trying to recapture Alien and Aliens. Alien: Isolation is the only successor specifically because of the format of the medium. Alien and Aliens rely heavily on the shock factor of sudden reveals. Remove that, and you are given "bug hunt" games and movies ala discount Starship Trooper. Focus more on making human space feel almost alien and beyond our understanding as well, but just enough that we can recognize the purpose that we would have them for our society.

How I would write an Alien Story:

(This would all be backstory and setup for the actual story)

I would set it within a colony satellite with an explicit task: a skyscraper ecological time-capsule for deep space experimentation of wildlife.

It would have levels, with humans situated at the second uppermost and an AI as the manager at the top level of the satellite, with all the other animals in different levels fit for their habitats (including some non-earth, non-xenomorph aliens). It's a religious sponsored and run organization, offshoots of [Insert Church Here] that is trying to get good press with cutting edge AI and biological research.

The prize is an alien lifeform that looks like a cross between a crocodile and a panther. Usually docile when fed, it has been growing more and more agitated, harming several workers on the job. Most assume it may be some late-stage degenerative disease within it's brain.

Not all things are as it seems, as at the bottom of the station, a location no one but a select few faithful engineers are sent to maintain, a pod is damaged. A young attendant watches in shock and horror as a bloody and maimed chest burster crawls out of the pod, possibly having injured itself to burn through the lock. The creature is mewling in pain, but the young attendant makes a choice: leaving food, water, and blanket for the creature. Watching as the creature watches them, before going to feast. All under the gaze of a camera.

The xenomorph grows and grows, eating more, getting bolder and allowing its "caretaker" to feel more comfortable. Soon it begins to recognize certain sounds as they pray when he feasts, and association occurs. One day, its hiss sounds suspiciously like "Lord".

This is when the young attendant reaches out to higher, but trusted, priests to share this miraculous revelation. The first one is shocked, terrified, but intrigued as the creature mimics words like "Lord" and "Mighty". Barely audible, some would say hallucinatory, but they believe they can here this humanoid creature speak their language.

The second is equally shocked, terrified, but listens and becomes a believer.

The third one does not believe. Rightfully horrified and full of questions. Their arguments in front of the beast escalate into violence and when the young attendant shoves the priest to the ground, it is the Xenomorph that pounces. Blood is shed. the creature rises in front of it's faithful, and the Xenomorph uses the same sounds it heard over the fight. Lord. Mighty. Here-tik.

They can't be delusional or driven by guilt! This is a sign... right? This creature is speaking to them!

The faith grows. Never large. Can't risk word getting out or people noticing too many missing priests. The satellite is just barely large enough that people can excuse going missing for a few days between objectives.

But key individuals are brought in. The creature is worshiped. Animal offerings are delivered. It's changing, slowly. Growing larger (not a Xenomorph Queen, it's too maimed, but adapting to a steady diet).

Things might have escalated, had one of the priests killed not had an estranged sibling/spouse/loved one who had the pull to make a formal investigatory complaint.

The investigator arrives with his repertoire, this supposed garden of eden in deep space, none the wiser to what he would uncover. (Again, this would be the backstory, not revealed except through character investigations and evidence found during that. Defeats the purpose if it's spelled out like this).

It would play with the idea of how sapient/sentient the Xenomorphs are (do they care? do they understand? if not, why act like this? if yes, what does this mean for their continued slaughter), how much one puts into faith versus delusions, and leaves lingering questions: who put the xenomorph on the ship, why is the AI so complicit with the deaths and disappearances, and why is the one non-xenomorph alien acting so dangerously agitated despite being far away from the xenomorph's quarters?

[glassartpeasants]

Deny Your Feelings

Trafalgar Law x Assassin!GN!Reader

Warnings: small angst, mostly fluff, blood, mentions of death Grammarly said it was fine so i say its fine

~~~

For a government that prides itself itself in getting the job done by killing pirates, they sucked at it behind the scenes. Which is where you come in.

You were a high-end assassin for the world government. They called you when they deemed the target too dangerous for basic marines and too unpredictable to send out admirals.

No matter the pirate, you always got the job done. The payout was great each time, but it did get boring. Same thing over and over again. Join the crew, gain their trust, kill the Captain, then the crew, take the treasure, go to an island, set the ship on fire and finally go back to the higher-ups. Every single ‘crew’ you joined was nothing but rude, rowdy pirates who stole from the weak and treated people like trash. So you never had any problems taking their lives. So when you got a call about a new job, you figured it’d be the same old same old, but as soon as the pirate's name was revealed, you knew you finally had a challenge.

Trafalgar Law, aka The Surgeon of Death.

You’ve heard many stories about him, mostly bad ones, but stories nonetheless. He was Captain to the Heart Pirates and has a bounty of 200,000,000 berri’s. His bounty was the highest you’ve ever been sent after. You’ve never had to deal with a million berri’s man, so to be hired for such a feat almost felt like a gift. It was thrilling to be sent on such a mission, finally something to spice up such a monotonous cycle.

You couldn’t wait for the job to start.

~~~

“Everyone, this is (Y/N). They’re a new member of the crew, so treat them like you would anyone else.” Waving to everyone, you smile brightly before speaking.

“Nice to meet you all!” Not even seconds later, a giant polar bear runs up to you. Its outfit is orange compared to the common grey ones.

“Wow! It’s been so long since we’ve had someone new! I’m Bepo! Where are you from?” You were taken aback by its complete ability to speak as you had never seen something like it.

“I’m from the North Blue. What about you, big guy?” Everyone started to gather around you and began to ask questions about you. You told them the truth for the most part while still sprinkling some lies in to avoid suspicion.

“I need you guys to show them around. I have to get back to my studies.” Law voices rang in your ears as you turned your sight to him. Even though you’ve seen multiple pirates, there was something about the surgeon of death. His eyes seemed so hypnotizing, and the way his tattoos looked against his skin had you struggling not to ogle. He was a handsome man, truly, but his bounty poster didn’t nearly do him enough justice. It was a shame he was a pirate. If he wasn’t, you would have totally made a move. But alas, the universe had other plans and made him a pirate.

A dangerous one at that. Killing him would be no easy task. His devil-fruit abilities were a force to be feared. No doubt he had haki, too. Truly a formidable opponent. 

“No problem, Captain!”

“Thanks. Now, get ready to submerge.” Law’s last words had your stomach dropping.

“Submerge?...” A slight grin cracked his face.

“Yep, 450m under the surface.” A look of horror crossed your face, causing Law to stifle a laugh. You make a dash to the nearest window, and your heart sinks as you watch yourself descend to the deep. Being on a ship? Fine. You were above water. But below water? 450m down in Sea King waters? The thought of being in a metal-enclosed space had your blood freezing.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

~~~

Ever since entering the Polar Tang, you’ve done your best to distract yourself from how deep you were underwater. Cleaning, exercising, playing games with the crew, and getting to know their routines. Currently, you're making yourself a snack. Onigiri, to be exact. You’ve been cravigning it since joining the Heart Pirates and just now have the motivation to make it. You hummed a tune while dancing lazily as you finished the onigiri. The sound of footsteps approaching goes unnoticed as you are too enveloped in your own world to notice them. 

“Having fun?” Law’s voice broke you from your trance, causing you to yelp and turn to face him. Your face felt as if it were on fire with how embarrassed you were.

“Jesus! You scared me! How long have you been standing there?” You fiddle with your fingers before turning around to try to finish the onigiri quickly so Law doesn’t see how flustered you are.

“Long enough.” You could feel his gaze burn from behind you. It made you unbelievably nervous. There was no doubt he was studying you. What if he knew who you were? He’d kill you for sure!

“What are you making?” Law’s monotone voice returns, and you feel yourself slightly calm down.

“Oh? Just some onigiri. Would you like some Captain?” Turning around, you see a small pink dust on his cheeks. Did you embarrass him or something?

“I…Just ate, but thank you.” You nod your head before sitting down at the table to eat.

“It’s my favorite, so I thought I should share something that makes me happy.” This was a true statement regardless of whether Law was a pirate or not. It did give you the idea to kill him via poison. If you made food and poisoned it and fed it to everyone, they’d all be dead without a fight. But you heard about all the powers Law’s devil fruit can do, so that plan was shut down before it could even come to fruition. Him also being a doctor makes things only 10x harder. The plan needed to be perfect for it to work. No room for mistakes.

~~~

If only you could use your governmental status right now. The Marines shooting you were pissing you off. While it’d make your job easier if they hit the crew members, you wouldn’t get all the pay if they shot Law. And that would not stand.

“Captain! More just arrived!” You and Law both turn your heads as you see more Marines approaching.

“There must be a base nearby if they keep coming like this. I don’t wanna deal with an admiral, so let’s go. Everyone to the sub!” Following Law’s orders, everyone makes a break for the Polar Tang.

“It’s like they're randomly spawning! They're coming out of nowhere!”

“Welcome to the pirate life newbie.” You can hear the smirk in Law’s voice as he runs right beside you. Despite trying to focus on running, your eyes move in Law’s direction. Even though he looked exhausted, he moved with such precision. The way a small bead of sweat rolled down his face made a slight burning feeling appear on your face. 

‘No! He’s a pirate! Get your head in the game!’ Shaking your head, you return to making your running your top priority. You wouldn’t get money if you were dead.

Bullets whip past you and Law, making your heart jump in your chest. You’ve been shot before, but it felt different coming from your own team. Usually, the sound of Marines yelling didn’t bother you, but now it gave you an intense feeling of unease. You haven’t even been a ‘pirate’ for 3 months, and you're already starting to despise them!

Moving your head to the side, you catch a Marine aiming straight for Bepo. Your eyes widen as you stop in your tracks. Turning around, you run towards the bear. Dread filled your heart as you feared for the bear's safety. 

“Bepo! Look out!” Without a second thought, you push the bear out of the way. The gunshots echoed in your ears before a stinging pain hit your shoulder. You could see the worst possible outcome if you weren’t there even seconds later.

“Fucking A! Damnit, whatever. Bepo, hurry, let’s go!” You grab the bear's paw and begin to drag him to the polar tang. The pain in your shoulder had you biting your lip until blood appeared from your bite's sheer force. While it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been shot, this one felt so much more painful. You can feel blood seep into your uniform as you try running faster.

“(Y/N) your bleeding! A lot!” Bepo’s voice rang in your ears as you finally looked down at your wound. He wasn’t kidding when he said a lot. Almost your entire shoulder was drenched in the red substance.

“Now’s not the time to worry about it! Our priority is getting back to the Polar Tang! I can see it from here, so don’t stop now, alright?!” Bepo’s worried face is replaced by a serious one as he continues to run. The yellow metal of the sub gives both of you determination to run faster.

Once getting on the dock, you have Bepo jump in first before yourself. An action you ask yourself for. In fact, you were questioning why you saved him in the first place? If he died, that’d be one less nuisance to kill later. That and you wouldn’t have been shot! You wouldn’t be currently bleeding out if you just left him to die. Yet, the thought of the bear getting hurt made your heart burn. 

~~~

The event’s of earlier replayed in your mind as you sit in the infirmary. As soon as the Polar Tang went under the waves, you rushed yourself to the infirmary so you could fix your shoulder.

While yes, your ‘Captain’ is a doctor, the last thing you want is to owe him. Not to mention he was too busy setting course for the next destination. You didn’t have the time to wait. So you were gonna do it yourself, it’s not like people would come looking for you. That being said, you grab all the supplies you need and begin your own health care. It couldn’t be that hard.

“Damn bullet. Just get out already.” Putting your gloved finger in the wound, you try to fish out the bullet. A hand towel between yoru teeth as you bit down in pain. How can something be so difficult?! It’s a metal cylinder for chirsts sake! Why can’t you find it?! The lack of success made you aware of how much more blood you’ve lost. Your gloved hand is covered in it and ran down your arm. A weary feeling fills your body as you can feel yourself growing tired. Which even you know is not a good sign.

“Yeah, they're in here, Captain!” The sound of hurried footsteps catches your attention as the infirmary door opens. The figure of Law and Bepo enter your vision. You should have known Bepo would tell him.

“Jesus (Y/N)-ya! What are you thinking?!” The way his voice reprimanded you made you unintentionally lower your head.

“I just didn’t want to bother you since you were busy.”

“I’m your Captain, and as your Captain, it’s my job to make sure my crew stays okay! That means fixing them when their hurt! Never do this shit again, understand?” Looking away from him with a lowered head, you respond.

“Yes, Captain.”

~~~

You were currently sitting in the crew bunks reading a book, trying to ignore the pins and needles in your shoulder and your heavy heart. It shouldn’t affect you as much as it is, but when Law yelled at you, you felt ashamed. The fact a pirate could make you feel this way pissed you off. How can a simple pirate crew influence your emotions to where you took a bullet for one of them? No matter how hard you tried to focus on the book you were reading, your agonizing thoughts kept running rampant. 

Yet just as you were about to put the book away, theres a knock at the door.

“Hello?” Waiting to see another crew member, you were shocked to see Law standing at the door frame staring at you.

“Do you need something, Captain?”

“Bepo told me you took the bullet for him. Is that true?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want him to get hurt after I saw a Marine aiming at him.” Law said nothing as he looked at your bandaged shoulder.

“How’s it feel?”

“Like a bullet wound.” A small chuckle left his lips as he stared at you before going silent.

“Sorry for not telling you about it. You were already busy, so I didn’t want to add more trouble to your plate.”

“I apologize for yelling; Bepo wanted to say thank you, but he felt too bad to say it in person.”

“I’ll have to tell him it’s no problem. But it’s sweet of you to help him.” Law looks away as he puts his hand on his neck. He couldn’t have you seeing how your words made his cheek show a slight pink.

“Also, I have a question. Or, well, a request, really.”

“What is it?”

“I was wondering when, or if you have the time, you could teach me some basic first aid and CPR? I just would like to help in case someone got hurt on the battlefield. Like a field medic who can take care of their own.” Law’s heart did a small flip as you looked at him. You’ve only been a Heart Pirate for 3 months, and you’ve already taken a bullet for a crewmate, made meals more than half the time, always cleaned, and now you're making an effort to try and help him and your crewmates even more?

How can someone be so caring to people they barely know?

The thought of being alone with you, having you watch him in awe made his fingers twitch. It annoyed him. Why did you have this ability to have him feel emotions he hasn’t felt in years? Was it your eyes? You voice? What was it about you that had Law’s heart skipping a beat? How could he feel this way about someone he’s only known for 3 months? If he was smart, he’d say that he was busy and that he didn’t have the time to teach you.

“I’m free now so get up and let’s go.”

~~~

The moonlight was just bright enough that you were able to read your notes late into the night while everyone else was sleeping. Ever since you asked Law to teach you about first aid and CPR, you’ve been taking notes on everything he teaches. You didn’t want to forget anything. Even if you’d never admit it, you caught yourself looking forward to the lessons.

Penguin told you thathe’s never spent this much time with a crewmate before. That you’ve been the only one to actually get him out of his office. Knowing that made your blood run faster. It was both good and bad. You were getting him to trust you, it’d be easier to kill him if he lowered his guard around you. But on the other hand, your heart started to constrict every time you thought about killing him. That you looked forward being next to him. You could feel yoru face burn each time you saw a smirk on his face.

His beautiful face.

Slapping both hands to your face, you try to get rid of the thoughts that dared to threaten your mission. He was a pirate, you were a assassin hired by the world government to kill him. The things you began to feel for him was simply unacceptable. You couldn’t fall for a pirate.

The urge to read your notes was now gone, making you put them under your bunk. You didn’t want to think about anything that involves the man poisoning your heart. Grabbing your covers, you pull them over your head, hoping that no one would see the conflicted look on your face as your plagued with thoughts about the man only two doors down.

~~~

The kitchen was nice and quiet this time of night. Perfect time to simmer in your thoughts and write down all the information you learned from Law. You even bought all sorts of notebooks, pencils, highlighters, and anything you could think of that would help you keep track of things. It does help keep your mind occupied so you forget that your underwater. Even though you were internally screaming at yourself for putting in so much effort to make Law proud, you try tto ration that learning things like this could help you in the long run.

Reaching out, you grab the onigiri that you had prepared earlier and take a bite. The flavors making you lose focus from your notes as you smile. Eating the food always made you happy not matter how shitty the day was. You even had some tea to keep you awake. A perfect combination. Favorite food, great drinks and drawing your Captain all over your notes.

Wait.

Your eyes widen as you coke on your food. Rubbing your watery eyes, you see your hand just above a drawing of Law. Your eyes scan the entire page and all you can see is drawings upon drawings of Law werre scattered anywhere there was free room. Speechless, you quickly put down yoru food and start searching for a big eraser. You needed to erase them right away before anyone saw. Erase them before you could continue to think about him. 

Desperately trying to get rid of the drawings, you end up ripping the paper. Looking down, you could feel your heart slowing downseeing the crumpled up paper, no longer containing Law. His face comeptely erased from the notes. You drop the eraser before rubbing your face. Even when your not thinking about him, you are! How dare he make you feel this?!

You went to grab your unfinished onigiri but decided against it. Not wanting to taint your favorite food by thinking of a pirate.

“Damn pirate…”

“What are you doing awake?” Law’s voice had you jumping in your seat. You quickly turn the page of your notebook so he won’t see the sins you drew. Even if they were already erased.

“Could ask the same for you, Captain.” You joke with the man as he stifled a chuckle.

“Working. Came for coffee.”

“Ah. I’m working on notes for the things you’ve been teaching me. It’s just quieter at night to study. Also easier to make food and tea without worrying about it being stolen.” Law looks down and sees a perfectly made onigiri next to you.

“You can have one if you want. I don’t mind sharing…if it’s with you.” Law watches you move the plate closer to him. He could feel his heart skip a beat. Normally he’d not be one to eat food this late at night, but what could one hurt?

“Thanks.” Grabbing the food, Law takes a bite. His eyes widen upon the taste. Never in his entire life has he had onigiri this good.

“Is it bad?” Realizing he’s been quiet and seeing your saddened face, Law quickly swallows the food and begins to speak.

“No, not at all. I’ve just…this is really good.” He could see his words immediately lifting your mood. Whether he said it or not, your smile had him struggling not to smile back.

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad you like it, Captain.” Law looked down at the scattered notes. A small part of him was amazed at how serious you were about it. Another part told him that he needed to get back to work. Yet the voice telling him to stay was much louder, and thankfully, he had the perfect idea.

“I’m giving you a pop quiz.”

“What?! You never said anything about a quiz!”

“That’s why it's called a pop quiz. Now put your notes away." You can see the almost invisible smirk Law had. Grumbling, you stack your things neatly and place them far away. Your annoyance soon fizzled out when he sat right next to you.

“First question. What does ABC mean in first aid?”

“Easy. Airway, breathing, and circulation.” Law nods, and you can see him thinking of the next question.

“Injury caused by rubbing or scrapping of the skin?”

“Abrasion.”

“Correct.” You watch as Law grabs another onigiri. The sight of him wanting another one made your heart jump. He liked them enough to eat a second one? You had to keep yourself from gushing. He’s a pirate. No gushing over some dangerous pirate!

“A method of prioritizing treatment?”

“Triage.”

“Good job (Y/N)-ya.”

Maybe being in the company of a dangerous pirate wasn’t so bad.

~~~

Two arms wrap around your waist while you feel something bury in the crook of your neck. The smell of breakfast was easily over powered by the muck of the man holding you close. You reach up to run your fingers through his hair under his hat. A sigh came from teh man and you smile as it fans against your skin.

“What’s got you so loving? I thought you didn’t like PDA?”

“I don’t. Everyone's gone.” Short words, yet it’s all you need to know. The feeling of his arms wrapped around you had you feeling an overwhelming sense of safety engulf you. You intertwine his fingers with his before gently rocking side to side. 

“I’m so happy that I get to see the most handsome man in the world every day. And that he’s all mine.” Your words cause Law to hide his face deeper in your neck, but you can still see his ears a light pink.

“I’m happy that you're with me, too.” He whispers against your skin. Turning your head, you place a kiss on the brim of his hat. You watch as Moves his head to look at you. His eyes travel to your lips before he moves closer to your face-

“Everyone up! Time to dock and grab supplies!” Your eyes shot open when Penguin's voice broke you from your slumber. All your crewmates grumble as they begin to change and get ready for the day, yet your stuck in bed. The dream replays in your mind like a broken record. Lifting your fingers to your face, you gently brush your fingertips against your lips. If Penguin didn’t wake you up, would he have kissed you?

Your heart has never beat more faster as you simply think about the dream. It felt so real. What’s worse is that you wished you finsihed the dream.

Frustration and anger fill your body as you feel tears slip down your skin. Clenching your teeth, you try to yell at yourself internally. Tell yourself that what you feel is wrong! That you’d rather die than fall in love with a pirate!

‘Stop! You can’t fall in love with him! Get your shit together (Y/N)!’ You yell at yourself as you groggily get ready to dock. Maybe if you breathe fresh air, you’ll realize that your thinking like a fool/ A change of scenery is what you need. It’ll help you realize what your really here for. 

To kill the Surgeon of Death.

~~~

You follow Law and the rest of the crew in town to grab supplies and maybe rob a store or two. Whatever, it’s not like it matters. Not when this is the last stop that Law will ever see. There's a half-ass plan you came up with in your head when you got ready to leave the Polar Tang. It’s not perfect but it has to do. You couldn’t risk being next to him anymore. Simply being near him made your body crazy. Hearing his voice made your heart flip, and looking at his eyes made your legs weak. Without even knowing, Law had your heart in the palm of his hand.

“Okay, everyone. We’re splitting into groups.” You try to ignore his voice but still listen to where your group would be. 

“Me and (Y/N)-ya will be going west of town. Everyone got it?” If you could, you’d disappear on the spot. The universe has to be screwing with you. Truly a cruel joke it was playing.

Everyone separates, leaving Law and you alone. You quickly try to hide all the negative emotions and put up a happy front. Walking closer to Law, his smell hits you like a sack of bricks. You desperately try to seem unfazed, but you can feel your legs weaken.

“Anywhere, in particular, Captain?”

“Bookstore.” You blink at him.

“Really?”

“Yes. Your getting textbooks.” You pout at his words. It’s a shame since they’d be useless after today.

“That and I overheard you talking to yourself, saying you like to read books to help with your insomnia.”

BA-DUM

BA-DUM

“Y-Yeah, I do. Aren’t you gonna get something for yourself as well?”

“Nothing I can think of.”

“So we're going just for me?” Law’s eyes widen as your face burns.

“Sleep is important. You need it to be healthy, and you already do a lot more than your fellow crewmates.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Law nods, and you both make your way to the bookstore. Despite your outer emotions, inside, you were screaming. How could he hit you with such an act? He’s acting like he cares about you. What if he did? He’s acting like you mean more to him than just a crewmate. But that can’t be possible. Pirates are ruthless. They don’t care about love and things like that.

Law was a pirate, nothing more to it.

~~~

“Did you choose the biggest textbooks cause you could?!” Your complaining as you carry the heavy textbooks only made him smirk. If you weren’t holding all your books, you’d jump him.

“Perhaps.” A gasp leaves your lips as you stop in your tracks.

“Your lying!”

“Who’s the one carrying the textbooks?” You were speechless at his audacity. He seemed to think your reaction was funny as the men let out a laugh. So quiet that you almost couldn’t hear.

BA-DUM

BA-DUM

His laughter made your blood run hot as your heart beat against your ribs. How can laughter make you such an utter blubbering mess. The laughter of a pirate sounded more beautiful then any other laugh you’ve ever heard. It was something your heart wanted to listen to on repeat.

Suddenly, a drop of water falls from the sky and on your nose.

“Rain?”

“If it is, then we should get back to the Polar Tang. The textbooks could be ruined.” Nodding your head, you walk next to Law as you both hurry to get out of the rain.

~~~

Finally making it to the Polar Tang, you stop outside. The rain pelting against your skin did nothing to distract you from the scattered junk that's running through your mind. It was quiet on the way to the sub, and you hated it. It left you in your conflicted feelings. How would you finally get the opportunity to kill him? How your heart screamed that what you felt was real but you knew better. You were more strong-willed than that-

“I’m glad you joined.” A voice so soft and quiet broke the silence. It had your eyes widening and your heart freezing.

“What did you say?”

“You can see the pink appear on Law’s cheeks as he repeated himself.

“I’m glad you joined.” His final words made you bite your lips as tears began to form in your eyes.

BA-DUM

BA-DUM

CRACK

You fall to your hands and knees as sobs begin to escape your lips, and you can no longer deny what you feel. No amount of lying to yourself could work anymore. You had failed your mission. A mission you gave a year of your life to. You had fallen in love with Trafalgar Law, and there's nothing you could do about it.

“You shouldn’t be…”

“(Y/N)-ya? What’s going on? What are you talking about?”

“I don’t deserve to be called a Heart Pirate!”

“(Y/N)-ya, what's wrong?” The sound of worry and confusion in his voice only made it worse.

“Just kill me. I can’t handle these feelings! It’s not fair to you and the crew!”

“I’m not going to kill you (Y/N)-ya! Now what the hell is going on?!-”

“I’m an assassin sent by the world government to kill you!” Your head was touching the ground, and your soaked uniform clung to your skin. A sickly silence covered the two of you before you continued to confess.

“But I can’t! I can’t do it! The thought of anything bad happening to you makes me sick! It makes my heart burn to think about you in any pain!” Hiccups soon accompany your sobs as your hair starts sticking to your face.

“The thought of living in a world without you is hell! Ever since I’ve met you, my heart has beat faster than it ever has! Seeing you everyday and being near you everyday makes me so happy and i could never be happier!”

“I love sharing food with you! I love spending time with you! I love listening to your voice and laughter! I love you, Trafalgar Law! I love you so fucking much that I’d rather die than live without you!” Law’s still silent, and it only makes you ramble more.

“I know you don’t feel the same and I don’t deserve for you to feel the same! You deserve someone who wouldn’t lie to your face for a year! I deserve nothing! I don’t deserve to dream about you! I don’t deserve to imagine holding your hand or holding you close! I don’t deserve to dream about kissing you…” Sobs echo in your ears as your vision blurs. You could barely breathe as the tears kept flowing.

“Please, Captain…just kill me. I’m a traitor who deserves to die. I failed you and used your kindness selfishly. Now I can’t imagine a world without you and a world without you is a world where i’d rather die. So please, Law, stab me, poison me, just do something! I’ll take whatever punishment you give me with open arms as it’s all I deserve…” Hugging yourself, you can’t hear Law over the now thundering sounds coming from the sky. The rain only started pouring harder and hitting your back like hail. You wait for some sort of pain or the bittersweet embrace of death, yet it never comes. 

You didn’t dare look up at Law’s face. You didn’t deserve to.

“(Y/N)-ya.” His voice made your heart split in two. 

The tears and sobs distracted you from the sound of crunching grass coming up from in front of you. It’s only when you feel a hand grab your chin and lift it up.

“Get in the sub. We’ll talk about this later. You're going to get sick if you stay out in the rain longer.” Your tears still continue when you feel him grab your arm and pull you to your feet. The sudden action had your eyes widening and your legs shaking. 

“B-But…Captain-” Before you could utter a word. A gentle pair of lips connect with yours before leaving. Lasting only a few seconds yet you could still feel the sensation on your lips. The tears still blur your vision, but you ignore them as you feel yourself being led to the Polar Tang.

“It’s Law.”

[transmascpetewentz]

i meant wrapped not trapped, I do not blame you for misunderstanding me, thats entirely my fault

I think you seem to believe that my issue with transandrophobia as a label is the idea that trans men face oppression (which they do), when instead its the idea that the oppression transmasculine people face is something completely unique to them, instead of being the underlying current of tranphobia

I literally spent the first paragraph explaining my issues with the *concept* of it before segawaying into my issue with it as a conterpart to transmisogyny due to them not sharing an underlying ideological framework

And to touch on some of doberbutts points, trans women are also correctively raped and have suicide rates, and the issue of access to abortion is for every person with a vagina, not just trans men

A frustrating thing that he does there is that instead of giving a counterargument to one of my points (what i personally believe to be a misnomer about the purpose of the label of transmisogyny, were you (nonspecific) view it as a threat to the validity of the trauma we face, and not as a way to describe their own, and what others believe to be just attention seeking) is to bring up severe (often sexual) trauma as a way to put a landmine on that specific point, because any attempt to explain why they are wrong becomes a personal attack on the traumatized parties

this got quite long, so response under the cut. @doberbutts this is the same anon you responded to (by reblogging my post) earlier.

ok

no form of violence experienced under an oppressive system is truly "unique" in that i don't think there are any experiences of violence or oppression that apply to only one specific group, but the motivations behind the violence can differ depending on the demographic it's being done to. i do not think that any specific example of transandrophobia is something that no one who isn't transmasc has experienced, but transandrophobia is the oppression specifically targeting transmascs. i and doberbutts have already pointed out how this works, so i don't feel the need to reiterate that.

you do not understand the concept of transandrophobia, and you regularly demonstrate that your understanding is surface-level and comes from people who have an interest in making it seem less credible. instead of asking people who theorize about anti-transmasculinity (including me and doberbutts!!!) you immediately become hostile and make many incorrect assumptions about our beliefs. i find this highly disrespectful and encourage you to stop getting all of your information about transandrophobia from people who misrepresent it to argue against the concept of anti-transmasculinity.

yes, abortion access is something that everyone who can get pregnant has to deal with, but trans men face unique discrimination wrt abortion access and access to reproductive healthcare that trans women do not. this is because there is a fundamental misogyny component to anti-transmasculinity that you and others who deny it because "it's transmisogynistic!!!" seem to have a failure to grasp. transandrophobia is transphobia, misogyny, homophobia, and the specific modifier of maleness on this oppression all at once. i wish there was a better word for how maleness adds to and modifies oppression in an intersectional way that wasn't associated with mras, but alas there is none that i am aware of. also: anti-transmasculinity never says or implies that trans women don't face some of the issues that trans men do! you are treating this like a pissing contest for who has it worse and that is an attitude i'll need you to drop.

denying transandrophobia is a sentiment that is directly hostile to transmasc survivors of sexual assault, abuse, hate crimes and other things that arise from living under a patriarchy that systemically excludes you from both the male and female classes. the reason why we use this rhetoric is because these types of things arise from the specific intersection that trans men face, and how that can further intersect with sexuality. you are simply making up what we believe on the spot and not actually listening. if you want to come off anon and have a conversation in dms, i'd be willing.

talking to people like you is frustrating because you make these claims about what transandrophobia theory is as if we're a monolith or a homogenous group instead of hundreds of trans men on tumblr dot com all contributing to a larger conversation. no matter how much you claim to be in good faith, you continue to disregard actual transandrophobia theory in favor of some bastardized version you got from someone with "white tme/tma" in their bio. i hope you take this criticism and reflect on how you may be wrong.

[oct0bra1ns]

Oki oki I know you're probably like busy and stuff but I just thought of a good one (well I like to think I did). Obv take as much time as you need to get to this, don't you dare rush or overwork yourself

But basically, (possibly illegal?) racer yandere with a reader who's absolutely terrified of driving and generally hates most vehicles. Especially the loud ones, like he'd usually use

Also yay, you're alive! Also yay, I'm alive too

-💌

i'm so close to dropping my entire format bro, it takes so much time and half my motivation disappears the moment i'm reminded i have to do all that shit LOL and YAY YOUR ALIVE, MY BELOVED ANON!! I'm so sorry if this seems rushed UGEFWBJC'

reblogs and comments are appreciated

♡ Yandere racer who had an entire career in front of him, big dreams to make it to the big leagues only for it to have it all crumble in a matter of seconds because of one stupid scandal. It took everything from him and no longer was he the person who people greeted and brought random things to sign, he was abandoned, the crowd that gathered to greet him no longer cared about him.

♡ Just when Marcus thought all hope was lost, he met you, a cashier at a new coffee shop he decided to try out. Everytime he went there you greeted him with a phony smile, giving him the customer greeting as though he was like any other person and not a disgraced racer.

♡ His obsession only grew when consistent pestering, asking if you knew him or how famous he was ended with you slamming his cup on the counter, giving him a curt smile , told him that you did not care for such matters.

♡ He decides he wants to know everything about you, from your likes to your dislikes, where you live, how you travel from place to place, when you clock in, when you clock out. All this information to make a 'chance' meeting happen.

♡ Marcus knows your running late waiting for the bus, he takes it as an opportunity to pick your up in his sleek sports car, claming how he was heading the same direction and how he felt bad leaving you when he had enough time to drop you off.

♡ He who tries to show off with his speed, only to see how unfortable you look when he glanced at you through the corner of his eyes. He's aware of the way you clutch the seatbelt, how your eyes keep flickering to his speedometer, how you seem to flinch every time his engine roars.

♡ He wastes no time in offering you a deal, he'll drive you to work everyday so that you don't end up late and you can treat him to a coffee on the house every now and then and if you can't give it to him on the house, he'll pay for it, no worries. If you decline, he'll find more and more ways to make you late, running the risk of getting you fired, finding ways to keep making you late. If you use the fact that his sports car makes you uncomfortable with it's speed and noise, no worries, he has plenty of other luxury cars for you.

♡ Sometimes you wonder how he makes all the money for all these cars seeing as how he was basically forced to step down from his work but oh well, as long as you could get to work on time, what did you care?

♡ Usually Marcus would let you go back on your own, as he didn't want to seem too clingy with you but when he gets a text from you at midnight, asking if he can drop you home, he's got tough choices to make.

♡ He'd never give up the opportunity to pick you up but if he didn't make it to his race, his sponsor would have his head on a plate. Alas he has no choice but to take you with him to the race.

♡ He spends the entire car ride apologising to you, about how he didn't want to leave you but how his sponsor was insistent on him attending. Hell, he'll even beg for your forgiveness as long as you don't as him to let you off anywhere.

♡ Marcus makes it a point to feed on your fear on cars when you reach the venue, make you stay close to him all the time, making sure you stick close to him all the time, holding your hand, draping his coat over you so nobody has the audacity to talk to you.

♡ He takes every chance to get you to stick closer to him, taking up seats in the front, closer to the venue, even the attendants are surprised when they see someone whos always in the back, not only bring someone along with him but also take seats in the front.

♡ If you don't want to spend time with him after this, no worries, when your employer finds out just where you've been and be running back to him.

[ilikekidsshows]

Hey, what are the chances that Ladybug actually evolves into a supervillain (ala Light Yagami per chance), but the narrative might spin this as a REALLY GOOD THING™?

---

The show already kinda does that. I mean, Miraculous isn't the kind of show where you just kill people, but it's the kind of show where you bully people just for having a crush on the boy you like, install a spy mirror into a public girls' bathroom and isolate your school bully to live with her abuser. And Marinette is framed as being right for all of this because her victims “deserve” it.

Even when Marinette does something the show acknowledges as indefensible, like gaslighting her boyfriend and [insert Sublimation spoiler], the show goes out of its way to give her every excuse imaginable to try to make her the real victim in the situation. Even when Marinette does something wrong, the writers try to spin it in a way where they play down exactly what she did wrong and how hurt the other party is while also playing up just how hurt Marinette is over her own actions.

This makes it so that, while on paper the show might admit that Marinette is in the wrong for something, the show will never actually treat her as being in the wrong. Being rewarded for her misdeeds is not the same thing as the show making it clear Marinette is in the wrong. At best it's giving contradictory claims, at worst it's giving far more attention to all the ways Marinette was in the right over in the wrong to make it seem like she didn't actually do anything bad. I'm talking about the "she had good intentions" defense and how it ties perfectly with the "but she feels so bad about it" one. Why should Marinette's feelings over what she did wrong matter over those she hurt? Because Marinette will be vindicated, she will be treated as being in the right, even when the writers know she isn't.

Like, the narrative loop of Miraculous functions like this in practise:

Marinette does something wrong -> Marinette is upsette -> Marinette gets comforted / Marinette gets rewarded -> Marinette never has to make up for what she did wrong -> Marinette changes nothing about her behavior -> "Marinette did nothing wrong actually"

I'm just saying, if Miraculous was the kind of show where murder happened, Marinette would get vindicated. I can just see the alternative version of 'Volpina' now where Marinette is on her way to murder Lila to keep her away from Adrien, and, either during this errand or right after, she discovers Lila only ever eats orphan meat so Marinette killing her is celebrated by the fandom as a sign of how heroic she is, despite her actual motive still being jealousy.

The fandom and canon already use retroactive justification for her bullying someone, they would do the same for murder. All the times Marienette already acts like a villain protagonist, the show either makes it out like the victim being a bad person makes it justified, or makes it out like Marinette feeling bad for it means she should be instantly forgiven with no repercussions which, as I illustrated, creates a very strong mental impression that she didn't actually do anything wrong.

For a show with a focus on emotions and a protagonist who constantly hurts others to create drama, there is very little focus on how to mend bridges when your actions hurt others. It does show you exactly how to manipulate others into instantly forgiving you without you needing to make up for your actions, though.

[nerdee-blondee]

*i ramble about solavelyan again*

i'm currently going through my 19388 playthrough of DAI and listening to THAT ONE YouTube video of all the party banter in the game (thanks DanaDuchy) and i made the realization that solas (and i suppose a lot of the dalish elves) have a real certain contempt for the human race (and understandably so but let me ramble):

towards dwarves, solas seems curious and regards them with a certain pity. he doesn't know much of anything when it comes to them so a lot of his banter with varric is him asking questions of dwarven history. and he is sorry that the dwarves seemingly "lost their way" and feels for them (much to varric's confusion LOL)

towards qunari, he seems to have more vitriol towards the actual qun than to the people. his conversations with bull show that he despises the idea of the religion. "freedom is preferable to mindless obedience to the qun". also, if bull becomes tal-vashoth, solas talks with him warmly and comforts him in a time of great change in his life.

now with humans? it seems that anytime solas has the opportunity to disparage at humanity, he'll take it (what an ass LOL). my favorite bit of any party banter is when varric and solas are making wise cracks about "cleaning up another human mess". solas responds "what would the inquisition do without our stabilizing influence" and varric jokes "i'd assume they'd just start burning things" and he replies, "that does sound like most humans i know".

NOW people might take this as "OH SOLAS IS A RACIST ASSHOLE BLAH BLAH BLAH" but I personally don't see it as malicious per say, just highly critical of humanity. also, he's NEVER rude or mean to a human inquisitor (and I also like to differentiate between real life and fiction and not treat stories with my same morality in a real world setting because it's fiction)

THIS particular point is why i really like to ship solavelyan! solas falling in love with a human, a race he perceived as "brutish" and "short sighted", a human inquisitor can make him realize how he is the one being short sighted. a human inquisitor who is curious about all the knowledge he has, whether it from the fade or from elven history, would endear him to this human whose race has often left A LOT to be desired. and also, having such adoration for a human inquisitor would reflect his own ideas back on to him. he would need to unpack that perhaps not all of humanity are as terrible as the few who have been reprehensible in all of history.

*sigh* if i wrote fanfic i would be keeping the solavelyan tag alive and fed but alas i am not a writer, so i will keep my love for them to random ramble posts here on tumblr <3

[jaylver]

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? — L.HS

SYNOPSIS: Situationships were never fun. Unfortunately for you, you found yourself being in one with your long term best friend, and that ended up getting sour when confusions started to appear, which only had you questioning if you were still friends or not?

PAIRINGS: fwb!heeseung x afab!reader

GENRE: friends with benefits relationship, angst

WARNING(S): profanities, a whole lot of frustrations

WC: 1k

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

Are we still friends?

That was a question you asked yourself over and over again. You found yourself waking up next to Heeseung once every few mornings after spending the night, each time you ended up shutting your eyes and praying it was just a dream. But do dreams normally consist of you being bare naked and waking up to dread and regret? No.

People who said trying out friends with benefits was ‘fun’ were uttering absolute bullshit. If it was fun, you wouldn’t be wishing for a hole to swallow you up whole at this moment.

You couldn’t even tell when it had even started. 

Heeseung had always been your closest friend throughout highschool leading up to college. Everything was normal until one night at a party, where you two got too drunk to remember anything, only realising the damage was done the moment you woke up next to one another. You would be lying if you said it wasn’t awkward, you literally stopped speaking for days until confrontations happened and the stupid deal of friends with benefits was brought up.

You knew people would be calling you a crazy person if you turned down an insanely hot man who happened to be your best friend, but at the same time, he was your best friend, the same guy that you grew up with. So, no, you weren’t entirely crazy.

In the months of the entire sneaking around shenanigans happening, you wished you could lie and admit your feelings stayed indifferent, but alas, your heart had to skip a beat whenever he did something, even the ones that were the simplest. Who could blame you anyway? Heeseung was a flirt, a fucking flirt, and he happened to be a hopeless romantic that would pull the sweetest stunts you never experienced even with your past lovers.

Buying a bouquet of flowers after your finals, treating you to dinners at fancy restaurants, taking care of you when you feel sick, eating together with your family, your plus one to weddings … all that and the two of you still remained label-less, how insane was that?

After all that, the countless nights spent together and the amount of sneaking around, you might think either one of you would finally pop the question and admit ‘hey, I like you’ or something along the lines, but no, not even once. What made things worse was that Heeseung seemed to be avoiding you and hanging out with other girls. Really? You thought, completely gobsmacked. 

Now here you were, in the middle of your apartment, pacing around all antsy and anxious, waiting for the man of the hour to arrive. Were you going to explode soon from what was happening soon? Absolutely.

The familiar sound of the door twisted, your anxiety made you completely forget about the fact that Heeseung indeed had a copy of your keys, so you were left unprepared when he entered, even more so when he made his way towards you and pulled you into a heated kiss, his lips clashing onto yours, leaving you zero breath or space.

Don’t cave, don’t cave, don’t cave!

Your hands reached his chest, his hands only travelling further into your hair, tugging it gently to have your head tilted back in order to give way to his lips and your neck for contact. As much as you were enjoying this and wishing for more, you genuinely had to stop him, pushing him away hard, his touch lingered on your body, his dishevelled self staring back at you confusedly.

“Y/N?”

“Hee…we should talk,”

He raised an eyebrow, his head tilted to one side. “What’s there to … talk?”

You scoffed in disbelief. “You avoid me and fucked around with other girls then suddenly, you hit me up saying you’re coming over after all that? Do you expect me to welcome you with open arms?”

“Y/N…God, I didn’t fuck any of them—”

“Don’t you get it? I don’t care if you fucked them or not, it’s the fact that you broke my heart and what’s ridiculous is that we aren’t even together,” you let out a strained laugh. “I don’t even know if you want me or not, Hee. One second you say you love me in bed, saying how you never want to let me go and send me flowers at work, then the next second you pretend we’re nothing, completely insignificant. What are we? Are we still friends?”

“Of course we are, what are you saying? Hell, we’re probably more than that,”

“Then, why can’t you just say it? I want you to want me, Hee, don’t you fucking get it? But it seems like you don’t,”

“You deserve someone more than me, Y/N,”

You bit your lips, pushing that lump in your throat back, the feeling of pouring tears pricked at your eyes. “Bullshit,” you seethed out, pushing his chest, anger and frustration overwhelmed you. “I can’t believe I actually believed you would feel the same, even for a second,”

“I do love you,” Heeseung breathed out, pining and desperation painted his expressions, but the words that left his lips reflected something else. 

“If you do, you wouldn’t have played me like this, for fuck’s sake,” you threw your hands up, trying your best to hold your tears in. “Maybe we should just end things here for once and for all,”

“We should,” Heeseung blinked slowly, processing everything gradually. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I know this sounds selfish but can we forget about this thing? I know we can’t mend what was already done and hurt, but you’re my best friend, you’ll always be. Can we start over? Can we be friends?”

You knew no matter what, there was no way you could ever let Heeseung go completely. The boy you knew since highschool, the boy you’ve gone through everything with, the first boy you entirely lost your heart to, you had a feeling nobody could amount to him, and that was your fatal flaw. Maybe, just maybe, he shared the same flaw of being unable to let go of you completely either. You and him travelled in the same wavelength, you completed one another’s missing puzzle piece, in short, you were soulmates, but whether you were aware of it, that was the problem.

“Of course,” you said, your voice coming out quiet and low, the lump in your throat still present, your chest squeezing hard.  

Heeseung nodded wordlessly, closing in to press a kiss on your forehead. That alone spoke louder than words could, it didn’t feel like a goodbye forever, it was more of a comforting reassurance, an apologetic one. He was already by the door, one hand on the doorknob before he turned around for another glance at you, his lips flattened into a small smile that didn’t quite reach to his eyes as it usually does, then once two beats has passed, he slipped past the door and was out of sight, but not out of mind.

You let out a big breath that you held in throughout, afraid that you might end up going breathless, falling onto your couch and you started blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall. You were a wreck and a mess, already strapping yourself in for the sad movies and depressing music playlists.

But it seemed that the universe had other plans for you instead. The doorbell rang and you froze, thinking it couldn’t be him again, right? You got up from your couch and trudged towards your door, wiping roughly at your face and praying you didn’t seem too slimy and gross. That’s when you whipped the door open, facing a delivery man, a flower bouquet in his hands. 

“Delivery for Y/N? Your weekly flowers, by the way,”

Oh, that. 

You took the flowers from the delivery man, bidding him goodbye before shutting your door shut. The timing was absolutely horrendous, you were played twice, how fun! The note was enticing you, though you knew it was a bad idea for your half broken but definitely weak heart. Curiosity killed the cat, and you were about to prove that right.

‘You’re my favourite flower. Always. — hee’

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

[callie-the-creator]

bertholdt dating a deaf reader would include...

sfw. warnings: mentions of bullying.

author’s note: this was posted on my wattpad, so there is no need to worry if you see it there. other than that, there is nothing else to add!

• in all honesty, how it was revealed that you were deaf was a little embarrassing. it happened during the first day of the cadet corps when everyone was being debriefed and publicly humiliated in front of each other because commander shadis wanted to ensure every abled person was morphed into a model soldier. it didn't take long for it to be your turn.

— "sorry, sir! i can't hear you!" shadis, at first, thought you were being a smartass and before he could yell at you some more, you added, "i'm deaf!"

— "then why the hell are you here?!"

• from there, you explained that you wanted to not so much fight for humanity by physically driving the titans back but stay back and help formulate strategies and plans.

• fortunately, shadis was merciful enough to let you stay, though it took some convincing. that and once his superiors heard about your case, they were torn but eventually you were allowed to train with the others. 

• alas, you were completely oblivious to some of the bullying happening behind your back...

• you struggle with communication and social skills, such as simply not understanding a joke that everyone else is laughing at. when that is happening, you usually write down on a piece of paper to ask just what is so funny, but they usually brush you off by either ignoring you, saying "oh, it's nothing", or something of that nature.

• the first few months were hell on earth for you. if anything, you preferred the physical training over anything because that meant you wouldn't have to worry about trying to communicate with any of the other cadets since the same can't be said about sparring or the wasteland excursion training (an exercise where the cadets are split into two groups and make a round trip through the wasteland. they leave the training base at the same time on separate routes, retrieve an object at the checkpoint, and return to base. they exercise aims to test their vigilance in tedious, low-risk situations).

• in terms of bullying, you experienced quite a variety of things. being ostracized, taken advantage of when it came to sparring or other team activities since everyone knew you were at a disadvantage, or people trying to talk to you but you didn't know what they were talking about.

— "can she seriously not hear a thing?"

— "what a weirdo."

— "hey, y/n, can you even speak?"

• bertholdt didn't like how differently everyone was treating you just because you have a disability, it reminded him all too much of his father and the prejudice eldians face from marleyans. so, when he's finally had enough, he steps forward and tells everyone to cut it out. from there, he becomes friends with you and follows you everywhere to help you in any way he can.

— of course, this didn't blow well over with annie or reiner because bertholdt is sympathetic toward the enemy but it's not like they could stop him.

• it's from there where bertholdt did things like open the door for you, carry your things, intentionally pick you to be his partner in sparring so no one else would be rude toward you, try his best to translate things if someone was trying to talk to you (by writing down on a piece of paper).

• obviously, it didn't take long for you to develop feelings for him and the same can be said for bertholdt! ☺️

— he thought you were so sweet and precious...you needed to be protected and although he wasn't the best option for this, he still wanted to do his best to make you feel safe.

• so...within a few weeks, you two started going out! bertholdt couldn't care less about the stares he got— he was used to them— but if you ever pointed it out, he would make up excuses to make it seem like the judgmental glares were aimed toward him and not you. it wasn't like he wasn't used to it already and the last thing he wanted was to see you unhappy.

• a few years went by and close to graduation, shadis gathered everyone to tell them that the government had been working on a way to communicate with the hearing-impaired. sign language. shadis said it would be easier to talk to you that way. many people were against learning it because they thought of it as a waste of their time, saying that they had enough issues learning the specifics of titan killing.

— all in all, the only people that were willing to learn— aside from you— were christa, mikasa, bertholdt, armin, and connie & sasha (even though they can be a bunch of numbskulls at times).

• bertholdt spent many nights trying to perfect his sign language. it sort of pissed off some of the other guys in the cabin because of just how late he would stay up! he can't remember how many times he's accidentally pulled an all-nighter and only knew when he heard the bell for muster.

• when he signed to you the first time during supper, he was so nervous, afraid that he might offend you if he messed up any of the signs but was relieved and proud of himself when you understood him and offered to teach him some more which he gleefully agreed to.

• bertholdt likes that you two have this language that not everyone in the cadet corps can understand, that way he can be cute with you without the other boys knowing and making fun of him for it

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episode 19, The Sadida Kingdom)

NOTE: This is the thing I've been looking forward to the entire rewatch. I'm not sorry for my insanity. This entire blog has been built on my insanity.

This translation error in the fansub is the source of the mistaken belief that Amalia's father's name is Oakheart btw. Though it is a nice name.

Two days prior is when The Horror started...

Sadida also have their own Boufbowl tournaments... Big day for Joris hobby lore.

I'M INSANE. I have waited for ages to get here, and I will not be leaving until I have multiple paragraphs of insane things to say:

They have been arguing for a bit of time at this point. Joris does not sound happy about this conversation. Armand also doesn't sound happy about this conversation.

Armand is probably high on his "I am acting in the stead of my father, so you will tell me everything that you need to tell him" supply. Joris is so fucking desperate for Armand to act normal. He doesn't want to be here either. He doesn't need to be arguing with a 17ish year old prince with daddy issues on a weekday.

All of this to say: This level of politeness from Joris always screams to me "I'm so fucking mad right now."

The way he uses the same words, "allow me", almost reads a bit ironic, or like a thinly veiled show of disregard.

Him repeating the information that we as the audience already knew to Joris — which Joris probably also knows, judging from the fact that they have been talking for at least a little bit, — seems less like exposition, and more like Armand treating Joris like an idiot who just won't get it. A power struggle is happening here.

And while it isn't a part of the subs, I can hear him say "my father, the king" which is, in my opinion, yet another little element of psychological warfare going on here.

Basically, he uses a lot of thinly veiled little jabs to establish himself as The Leader.

...He really is high on his own supply.

The mention of the Master of Bonta is interesting. Joris is not just under the King's direct command, — he is also a messenger for other people in the Bontarian government. Perhaps the master in question is connected to the Huppermages?

His exasperated tone here is so customer service-core. Which wouldn't be that funny if we didn't know he also works customer service.

Also, the dramatic "Alas!"... That he definitely added just to seem less rude. While cutting off Armand's last word, as if he was waiting for him to shut the fuck up. Before looking up at him at the end.

The way he's so fucking rude is just so jaw dropping.

"I have an important secret message", "come back later. FUCKASS."

Joris's first instinct whenever things go bad is to go political incident mode and political incident all over the place.

But to be more serious: I think after 600 years of witnessing wars and murder, Joris's mind would go in that direction after seeing Armand's behaviour.

Joris just doesn't know Armand well enough to know that he would not do that, and that he loves his father. It's quite prudent of Joris to get sneaky.

And even if he didn't think of this — you have seen my headcanon for what I think Joris wanted to tell the king (soft oak and that weird xelor that keeps ravaging places). It concerns the safety of the country. And just like Amalia and Eva, I doubt Joris would want Armand to be the one taking care of this.

[guy who made an entire blog thats 33% literally just talking about doomed siblings] I don't know why I like Armand and Amalia's relationship so much. I think I hauve covid. It's just that imagine you were a kid, and your father — who is so, so very powerful, who is the leader of your people, liked your sibling more. And your sibling had this fortunate life, and you were always in the shadow, and people thought you're mean and furless and bal— [I am electrecuted]

Joris behind the columns, trying to stop himself from screaming or trying to actually kill Armand:

I hope he dies. <- I said, before remembering.

If I was forced to work in Joris's sphere, I would literally just end my life instead. The things he subjects himself to...

On the topic of subjecting himself to things, I really think that Joris came so late because:

He was sneaking around like a silly little gumshoe (he was spying on a foreign government),

He needed a break after talking to Armand. <3 Who doesn't

He hoped that this situation wouldn't end so disastrously. Like maybe Armand would get hit a little bit... Just a tinyyy bit. But no. It's worse. Multiple people are down.

He looks so fucking unimpressed with Armand's words here. I can't do this anymore. He hates this shitty teenager.

Magical powers activate! [hits you with a tree stump 16 times until you lose consciousness]

I don't even know what to say besides the fact that the things he subjects himself to (having to defend and talk to royalty who don't even take him seriously and insult him the whole time) are literally unspeakably insane. Could never be me.

He has a lot of anger within him, and for legal reasons, it cannot be expressed.