#y'all like last chapter?

[vulpixisananimal]

Ego Death

[mikayuumouse]

"and then..."

AND THEN WHAT AKUTAGAWA

YOU REALIZED YOU DIDN'T HATE HIM? YOU REALIZED HE MEANT THE WORLD TO YOU? YOU REALIZED HE VALUED YOU? YOU REALIZED YOU CARED ABOUT HIM? YOU REALIZED THAT HE WAS YOUR EQUAL?

oh my god chapter 122 is killing me it's amazing

If the actual end of the sentence is "and then I realized I love him" I WILL LOSE MY SHIT.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

What is everyone's favorite music genre?

After being rescued by Angel, the toys FINALLY gain access to the World Wide Web(tm), CD discs and music that isn't PlayCo. friendly, and lemme tell you, they're ALL having a blast. Here's all of them:

Angel: Rock, punk and heavy metal. This guy has tons of rock discs on their collection and used to blast Guns n Roses before going to work. Angel also really likes Britney Spears and Lady Gaga but their go-to will always be rock.

Poppy: Jazz, bossa nova and blues. She loves these! Old but gold, she likes to say. She won't pass up on listening to pop music, though.

Kissy Missy: Shoegaze, indie and pop. Riley (yes I made her into our Kissy Missy, let her live) is pretty melancholic and anxious, so shoegaze helps her a lot with calming down. She tried lo-fi, but it didn't feel the same way.

Huggy Wuggy: Babyboy likes listening to rock thanks to Angel. Doesn't like shoegaze but will listen to it for Kissy's sake.

Marie Long Legs: Heavy metal, rock and punk. Marie likes music to blast her ears off, and post-HoJ she listened to a casette of ACDC until it stopped working. Absolutely hates everything that feels too "slow" for her taste.

Ollie: This nerd listens to videogame OSTs (affectionate) and WILL be a prick about his favorite indie bands that only he and 3 other people knows about. Will gatekeep music from others.

Bunzo Bunny: At first he's always listening to the radio because he can't decide what to listen to, but as he grows up post-Factory he will eventually start opting to listen to hyperpop more.

Miss Delight: "Upbeat music", which translates to Doom and Dark Souls OST. I am not being ironic. And pop, of course she loves pop, ADORES pop, knows everything about every single pop artist to ever exist.

Doey: Kevin and Matthew are HUGE MCR fans, but Jack likes country because that's what his parents used to hear. The three of them are on a mutual agreement that in case of a problem, they must listen to whatever is on the radio.

The Prototype: Much like Poppy, he likes jazz and classical music. Unfortunately it has been so long that he listened to anything other than classical that any new sounds are alien to him to the point he feels like he doesn't have a preference anymore. He lets other toys pick music for him. Nowadays, he says he's a jazz fan, mostly because that's what brings him comfort.

Smiling Critters (+ Boxy):

Dogday: My heart is telling me country and indie, but. Hear me out. He likes Legião Urbana. he has a guitar and plays Legião Urbana songs. All brazilians reading this will want to strangle me because you know I'm right. He also likes hip-hop and rap.

Catnap: GOTH. GOTH GOTH GOTH GOTH. GOTH MUSIC + HORROR GAME OSTs + SHOEGAZE AND THE LIKES. NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO CONVINCE OTHERWISE. And of course, he listens to christian music as well bc he's Catholic(tm).

Bubba Bubbaphant: He likes eletronica way more than classical music, but he appreciates noise music like what Merzbow does. It scratches his brain just right, and he likes sleeping to it. Asides from that, the entire Pokemon OST.

KickinChicken: PUNK AND GRUNGE. Angel is the one who introduces him to it and he LOVES it ALL.

Bobby Bearhug: Cutesy old love songs, J and K-pop, and, of course, pop in general. I feel like she'll also be a big Xuxa fan thanks to Angel's influence.

Craftycorn: Hyperpop and scene music, but specifically scene music. She listens to things with the nastiest of lyrics but Crafty is always using headphones. She is at first horrified upon discovering this kind of sound, except she doesn't stop listening to it. At all. And she nowadays giggles to herself because oooh she's being SOOOO inapropriate. By listening to music on her headphones and away from the younger toys. Wow so rebellious, Crafty.

Piggy Picky: Bossa nova and samba, thanks to Angel's influence. She also really loves disco! Doesn't listen to music a lot because she's always busy with other things, but when she does she sings along. It's adorable. I love she.

Hoppy Hopscotch: Grunge, post-rock, alt-rock, hip-hop and rap. Also listens to a ton of sapphic artists because of course she does, and sometimes she makes her own songs on the guitar.

Boxy Boo: Listens to whatever Hoppy is listening to as long as she thinks it's "appropriate" for him.

Nightmare Critters:

Simon Smoke: Tries becoming a rock fan in order to impress Angel because he's afraid he'll get replaced as the favorite child if he doesn't (Angel has no favorite children), then finds out he really REALLY likes pop. Specifically pop female artists

Touille: Every single Sonic song to ever exist, and tons and I mean TONS of rap and hip-hop. He loves vibing to it while tinkering with things, it's enriching to him. He and Bubba yap a lot about Sonic songs together as well.

Icky Licky: Noise music, will convince people he loves classical but what he really really likes scene music. Absolute vibe to him, but he thinks the others will bully him for it. They never do.

Allister Gator: Whatever is on the radio yes, yes, but he likes the most depressing gut-wrenching and DEVASTATING indie music to ever exist. In order to motivate himself, Allister tries having the others play hyperpop to him, which he also appreciates.

Poe: GOTH GOTH GOTH GOTH, shoegaze specially, but Poe has been discovering and branching out to other genres a lot since escaping PlayCo. They like listening to vynils with Poppy a lot, and usually falls asleep on top of Allister while listening to the radio. They still prefer goth music, but they're happy they have more options now.

Rabie Baby: Yes, pop and hyperpop j-pop and k-pop and all the likes, of course, but on top of that she has discovered rap and really REALLY likes it. Marie is also influencing her with heavy metal.

Baba Chops: GOTH GOTH GOTH GOTH GOTH, she, Poe and Catnap are the goth kids, but on top of that and shoegaze, she likes Queen and musicals in general.

Maggie Mako: The girl who contaminated the entire family with musicals, she ADORES those, but she likes making "action movie" playlists for herself so she can pretend to be an action movie protagonist. Listens to tons of indie as well, mostly so she and Piggy can have thinks to talk about.

[sainz100]

2024 Hungarian GP | x (edited)

[shannonsketches]

Thinking about how Toriyama wrote an Entire Plot centering around how Vegeta has spent the last seven years learning how to be happy and comfortable with his family on Earth and how he loves his wife so much that being Gently Reminded that he loves his wife was enough to pull him out of a violent midlife crisis and made him such a powerful guardian of Earth that Heaven broke its own rules just to put him back in that position

and Toei was like 'okay but in the sequel to that plot their marriage is terrible and he's never home'

[seventh-district]

Dying Star

In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

You think about dead stars.

You think about time.

- - - - - - -

Sam’s words have been weighing heavy on your mind ever since you discussed your shared future and the various forms it could take. You didn’t realize just how heavy they were until it all came spilling out of your tired mind on a late night spent together beneath the stars.

Pairing: Sam x Darlin' / Reader

Word Count: 4,053

Contains: [angst] [a dash of humor] [a hint of chubby!Sam bc i like 'em strong and soft] [crying] [cuddling (dub-con cuddles with Quinn in the past & consensual ones with Sam in the present)] [emotional hurt/comfort] [implied/referenced dub-con sex (nothing graphic) (in the past between Darlin' and Quinn to be specific) (refer to my Ao3 notes for further explanation)] [mentioned Quinn] [not quite Dissociation i guess but Darlin' does zone-out/get lost in thought more than once] [pet names (Darlin' (obvs.) and honey)] [Reader is Darlin'] [Sam wears a cowboy hat bc i said so] [some passive suicidality from Sam if you squint (hell, maybe you don't even have to squint)]

A/Ns: Well, well, well, here I am, the person who said they wouldn't write any Redactedverse fanfic. I recently felt a mighty need to expand upon the blurb I wrote in this post, and I'm braving my fandom anxiety by sharing it here. pls be nice 2 me abt it

Timeline-wise, this fic takes place sometime after the ‘Talking About the Future With Your Vampire Mate’ audio but sometime before their presumed eventual departure from the house that William gave Sam, given that they've already had the 'turning' discussion but are still on the same roof in this fic.

This is a songfic, inspired by and quoting verses from 3 songs. Those being:

‘Dying Star’ by Ashnikko feat. Ethel Cain

‘Fix What You Didn’t Break’ by Nate Smith

‘No Plan’ by Hozier

The roof of Sam’s house is far from a ‘cushy’ place to relax. But as you lie here next to him under the stars, a knowledge settles within you that you wouldn’t trade the rough shingles beneath you for the softest mattress in the world. Not if it meant there’d be anyone other than him lying next to you.

Some people might counter that it’s an easy thing for you to say, given the number of nights you’ve thrown a balled-up shirt onto one end of a worn-out couch and called it a bed. But some people don’t know you as well as they think they do.

You’ve known luxury. Quinn might’ve been just as content taking his fill on a seedy motel bed as he was wrapped in silks at a Hilton, but he knew how to play up the luxe when it served him to do so. And in the early days as he worked to lure you in, it did. Plush sheets and expensive drinks helped to soften the preordained blows and dull the imminent pain that your nights with him held.

Once you’d latched onto the bait though, he let the act drop one piece at a time, like props collapsing on a stage. After all, what was the point in all of those frivolities when you both knew what you really came to him for? It wasn’t to be wined and dined, it wasn’t to be dressed up and shown off, and it wasn’t even to be slowly stripped of it all, laid out across the rolling clouds of a pillowy mattress.

It was to be used. Tranced. Restrained. Bitten. Drank from. Choked. Hit. Edged. Denied. Made to writhe and whine and bleed and plead. Plead for more, for less, for nothing, for anything. Anything to quiet your mind and fill the ever-expanding void inside you where you suspect love was supposed to live.

That’s what you both really wanted.

At least, that’s what you told him you wanted.

That’s what you told yourself.

You only got what you asked for.

To your right, Sam stirs, stretching gently with a yawn. The soft noise he releases as he does so reminds you of where you are, and you trace back through your thoughts to find how you got so lost.

…Right. Luxury.

While your relationship with Quinn certainly changed over time, you never forgot what it felt like in the beginning. 

You remember nights laid next to him, body sore, mind quiet. Quinn’s idea of aftercare was lacking to say the least, but you had nothing better to compare it to at the time, and you’d take what you could get. At least your head felt empty, and the bed was soft. Exhaustion would pull you under soon enough.

The mattress, sheets, and pillows enveloping you were likely worth more than you even made that past month. ...Or several. You found that display of luxury hard to be impressed by though, when it wasn’t the type of comfort you’d been seeking.

As Quinn shifted in his presumed sleep, pulling you in tighter, you didn’t fight it. You found yourself unwilling to fight anything he did, like his mere presence was enough to drain the fight right out of you. You told yourself that you were okay with that. Because you wanted it.

Lying there with your head on his bare chest, you took a deep breath and told yourself that you liked the stench of cheap cologne, poorly masking the cigarettes and alcohol on his breath. You silently told yourself that you liked everything. You liked the pain that he chased with hints of pleasure. You liked the loss of power, the way you couldn’t fight back if you wanted to once he looked you in the eyes. You liked all the things he said, no matter how much the truth might hurt.

He was right, you supposed. Your desires, the things you craved, the depravity that you so enjoyed, wasn’t normal. It was uncommon, unusual, and in the eyes of some, unfathomable. To possess such dark desires, there must be something truly broken inside you.

How lucky you were, to have found someone willing to indulge you. Someone that could give you everything you wanted, and be so kind as to keep it a secret too. He promised that word of the things he did to you, the things you let him do, would never get out. You remember the way he held your hand as he told you, falling for the guise of sincerity in his eyes. You remember his warm smile, and his razor sharp teeth.

You remember seeing that exact same smile on his face through one-way glass as he sat across from Sam and told him everything.

You stood in that room and thought back to those nights of luxury. To the feeling of his nails ghosting over the freshly healed punctures in your neck. To the way he held you against him. You remember laying there, lifeless, feeling like prey playing dead. Afraid to move, afraid to disturb him. But why? He hadn’t threatened you. He never told you that you had to stay. He never said that you couldn’t move, or pull away. So why did you feel that way?

As you stood, helplessly witnessing hours of his slander in that interrogation room, you understood. Your rose-tinted glasses had long since shattered, and you saw that smile for what it was. It was the smile of a man playing a dangerous game, brimming with satisfaction, thinking he’d won.

The radio near you begins to crackle, static obscuring the hosts voice as they announce the upcoming song. Sam doesn’t even open his eyes, just raises a hand and reaches out, blindly adjusting the antenna of the old device.

You’ve teased him for holding onto it for so long, as he is wont to do with damn near all of his possessions. But as you watch him deftly extend and angle the antenna with practiced care, the response he once gave you proves itself true once again.

“I don’t wanna replace it, Darlin’. It’s not broken. It just needs someone who knows how to make it sing again.”

The static clears, and music flows through the radio’s old speakers once more.

You watch Sam return his hand to its prior position beneath his head, acting as a makeshift pillow of his own. The way he’s lying has his hat pushed forward, and it’d be doing a damn good job of shielding his face from the sun if it weren’t somewhere around midnight at the moment. Still, it suits him somehow, despite its lack of any practicality. All he’s missing is a stalk of wheat between his teeth and a tree to lean against and he’d be the spitting image of the cowboy he swears he isn’t.

His other hand rests on the soft curve of his stomach, rising and falling again as he breathes. He’s the image of peace in moments like these, and you’re drawn to it like a moth to flame. Maybe one of these days you’ll find some of your own, but for now you’re more than content to bask in his.

As you admire him, he takes a slow, deep breath and you mirror it on instinct. The grounding practice helps you leave your mind and return to your body, if just for a moment. In doing so, you realize just how tense your ruminations have made you.

You relax your hands, releasing the blanket beneath you from your iron grip. You brush your palms over it, worried that you’ve torn the fabric once you realize that your nails had halfway shifted to claws. You don’t fret much over damage to your own possessions, but this blanket is Sam’s and you’d hate to ruin it. Though, you suppose he doesn’t prize it too much or he wouldn’t have laid it out here across the roof in the first place.

“If I buy somethin’ it’s because I wanna use it. Now quit frettin’ and get over here.” You recall what he told you earlier as he patted the blanket next to him in invitation, and you smile.

Doing a small stretch of your own, you release the tension in your shoulders, turning your attention back to the stars above you. For a while, you let the soft music wash over your tired mind.

“I asked him not to kill me politely. He drained my magic core, bottled up at the source. I washed up on the sea glass shores. I’m nobody's captive.”

In spite of your best efforts to relax, you’re still subconsciously futzing with the loose threads of the old blanket beneath you.

You’re made aware of it when Sam reaches a hand down, gently laying it over yours and effectively stilling your anxious motion.

“Burning like a dying star, invasive weeds rooted in my heart, set in a crooked trajectory. The journey here was hard, I was almost pulled apart. Trying to leave his orbit took what’s left of me.”

You flip your hand over beneath his so you can hold it properly, lacing your fingers together.

For reasons beyond your understanding, emotion tightens your throat, the threat of tears pooling in your eyes.

…You must be more tired than you thought.

As minutes pass and one song fades into another, your gaze dances across the blurry, scattered points of light in the dark sky.

“You were the star in the pitch black, shine the way on the way back. Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers.”

Sam’s always been so much better at identifying stars and finding constellations. But as the music plays, you begin to see one of your own.

“Picked up the towel that I threw in, took in a heart that was ruined. Showed me the past ain’t a tattoo, loved me even when you didn’t have to.”

“Sam.” You squeeze his hand to get his attention.

He squeezes back in acknowledgment. “Hm?”

“I want you to look at something.” You swallow back the emotion that tries to seep into your voice, but it catches his attention all the same.

He leans up and lifts his hat from his head, setting it aside near the radio. He then reaches to turn a dial back, lowering the music’s volume to give you his full attention.

You release his hand, raising yours up as he turns back to face you. You don’t say anything at first, nearly too lost in your own mind to realize you need to actually voice your developing thoughts.

"What—what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Your hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in your line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above you. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow your less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', your pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along your exposed wrist where your sleeve had slipped back, he takes your hand in his again and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." You say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." You nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting you. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

You scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh. "No—no I mean—like... what's another name for it... Oh, it's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but you cut him off before he can start. "But no. No, this isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in your overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Your frown is audible in your voice as you latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at your over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, honey, I promise."

You huff, but begrudgingly shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention.”

Sam’s brow furrows as you continue to explain, realization setting in that you really are being serious.

“I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...And there you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places and people that I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, at Wonderworld, surrounded by the ghost of him. Your warmth, your presence, your aura—even with all of your walls up, you outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me home."

In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

You think about dead stars.

You think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand squeezes yours tight, his urgent tone pulling you out of your thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

You look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, faint shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

You reach out, pulling him down into you. He falters for a moment at the sudden proximity, but quickly embraces you in turn. Burying your face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear your words, muffled against the thick flannel, but his hearing catches them just fine.

"Don't burn out too quickly. Please. I still need you here. I don't—I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

The words feel like a weight being lifted from your shoulders, but with it comes a flood of emotion they’d been holding back. You cry harder into him, and as much as it pains Sam to witness, he lets you feel it, for as long as you need.

Your fear of losing him manifests itself physically, nails curling and sharpening again. When he feels them prick his skin through the fabric of his shirt, he calls your name but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he leans further down into you, letting his weight ground you. “Darlin’, I am right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

As you eventually cry yourself out, enough wherewithal returns to you to realize that you should probably release the poor man from your grasp, and the awkward position you pulled him into. When he pulls away enough to see your face, you notice a string of snot running from your nose to his shirt collar. Quickly batting it away out of embarrassment, you cringe, voice thick as you apologize. “Eugh, gross. Uh… sorry. About that.”

He shakes his head, laughing good-naturedly as you wipe at your nose with your jacket sleeve. “It’s completely fine, honey. After all, I’ve been covered in plenty of your, uh… various fluids before. When you come from my line of work, this is child’s play.”

He leans to his right, reaching back and pulling—of all things—a handkerchief from his jeans’ left back pocket. You laugh at his words, and at the sight, but with how congested you are it turns into more of a hacking cough than anything. Accepting his offering, you blow your nose into the black patterned fabric.

As soon as you can speak somewhat clearly, you can’t stop the teasing remark that slips out of you, gesturing with the wad of fabric in your hand. “You know, you really aren’t beating the cowboy allegations with stuff like this.”

He rolls his eyes but his soft smile remains. “It’s a practical thing to have on me, ‘allegations’ be damned.”

You shake your head with a smile of your own, but don’t disagree. As you’re visibly unsure what to do with the dirtied fabric, he takes it from you, setting it aside. “I’ll toss it in the wash when we go back inside. Along with my shirt, and…” He eyes you for a moment. “…that jacket of yours too, given how long you’ve probably been wearin’ it.”

Normally you’d argue that it hasn’t been that long, but come to think of it, you actually can’t recall when you last washed the thing.

Reaching up and rubbing your temples, you already regret your crying fit as a headache begins to set in. “Fuck, Sam... I’m sorry for… whatever that just was. I don’t know what came over me.”

His expression falls into something serious again. “You never need to apologize for feeling. And it certainly seems like�� you needed to feel that.”

You nod quietly, but don’t elaborate, prompting him to question you gently. “Darlin’. What was that about? The—the askin’ me not to leave. Are you… afraid that I’m gonna leave you?”

You close your eyes, weighing out your response. “…Not in the sense that you’ll break up with me or something, no.”

His gaze narrows and his head tilts as he rolls your answer over in his mind. “If it ain’t that, then—” He remembers how you mentioned ‘forever’ and cuts himself off as the puzzle pieces start coming together. “Oh. …Oh, Darlin’, no.”

You open your eyes to watch as he shifts from leaning next to you, moving to sit up beside you. “Is this about what I told you, when we sat up here and had our uh… turning discussion?”

You hate to admit it, but you nod in confirmation. “…It’s your choice, Sam, and I never want to take that away from you. I shouldn’t have said what I just did, I—I don’t want to make you feel guilty, or like you have to stick around for my sake. But I’d be lying to you if I said it hasn’t been playing on my mind. The thought of you… leaving. Like that.”

He reaches up, running a hand through his hair. “I… think I maybe should’ve been a bit more clear, when I said that. Because I wasn’t talking about any time soon. I didn’t want to give you the false impression that I plan on sticking around for centuries, but… I also wasn’t trying to imply that I’ve got plans to do it next week either.”

You bolt upright, voice cracking. “Next week?! I sure as shit hope not!” You grab your head, pain flaring and suddenly dizzy from the quick shift in position.

He places a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “I’m not, honey, I’m not. Did you catch the rest of my sentence? I’ve got no plans to leave this world any time soon. I promise.”

You groan, head pounding. “I heard you, I did, I just—fuck, I don’t even wanna think about you leaving so soon. Here I am, stressing, thinking I’ve only got—I don’t know—some odd years left with you, and…” You sigh, trailing off.

Sam stays quiet for a minute, letting the crickets sing.

Eventually, he interrupts their chorus. “…Can I get closer to you?”

You nod. “…Please.”

He closes the gap between you, carefully wrapping a strong arm around your curled shoulders. “You’ve got way more than a couple years. I promise you that.” Your tension begins to ease a bit as he clarifies. “You… you’ve helped me find a life that I actually feel like livin’ again, for the first time in a long time. And I want to experience it with you for as long as I can.”

“…Really?” Your voice sounds so small, so unsure, so… unlike you when you question him that he wants to kick himself in his own ass for the role he unintentionally played in making you feel this way.

“Yes. Really. I mean—” His voice takes on an edge of humor. “If you decide to set your sights on the year 3,000…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. But as far as the 21st century is concerned? …I think I’d like to see it through. For as long as you’re there to see it with me.”

His words cause fresh tears to well up in your eyes, and you sniff in an attempt to hold them back. The sound catches his attention, and he leans forward, thumbing across your warm cheek. “…I’m makin’ you cry again…”

You shake your head, clearing your throat. “No—No, it’s okay. It’s good. They’re… they’re good. It’s… relief.”

He breathes out a relieved sigh of his own. “Yeah?”

You nod, leaning into him. “Yeah.”

As you rest against each other, breathing in the cool night air, you nudge him with your shoulder. “Can we… lay back? For a bit?”

He squeezes your arm in gentle confirmation. “Of course.”

He twists and reaches back to straighten the wrinkled blanket beneath you, before laying out across it himself. The radio crackles as he turns the volume back up a bit. Watching him with tired eyes, you smile at the sight of him patting his chest in habitual invitation.

“Sit in and watch the sunlight fade. Honey, enjoy, it’s gettin’ late. There’s no plan. There’s no hand on the reign. As Mack explained, there will be darkness again.”

Curling up against his side and laying your head on his chest, you release a heavy sigh when his hand comes up to rest on your shoulder. As his fingers press rhythmically into the tense muscle beneath them, you breathe in his scent. Black coffee and wildflower honey… he smells like home.

“Your secret is safe with me, and if secrets were like seeds, when I’m lyin’ under marble, marvel at flowers you’ll have made.”

You reach your hand out across his broad chest, slipping beneath his open flannel and sliding down to rest on his waist. He sighs, relaxing further beneath your touch.

“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand. That’s how I know now that you understand.”

Yeah, you’ll take this over ‘luxury’ any damn day.

“There’s no plan. There’s no race to be run.”

Laying there with him, listening to the low hum of the radio, the moment grows so comfortable that you almost hesitate to break it.

“The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the song.”

“…Sam?” You whisper into the night.

His hand sweeps across your back before returning to your shoulder. “I’m here, Darlin’.”

“There’s no plan. There’s no kingdom to come.”

You smile. “I… I’d like to be there, to be here, to see it through with you, too.”

It takes him a moment to recall exactly what you’re referring to, but when it hits him he hums a low understanding tone, clearly pleased. “Then let’s see where it takes us, yeah?”

“But I’ll be your man if you got love to get done.”

He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “We’ve got plenty a’ time.”

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my extensive notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. My Sam & Darlin' Playlist My Sam Playlist My Darlin' Playlist My Sam & Darlin' Moodboard My Sam Moodboard My Darlin' Moodboard Header Image Credit: Gage Smith on Unsplash

[analogwriting]

Childhood Crush

Chapter 20: Adamantium

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.2k a/n: this is completely different than anything i've published so far so hopefully it's okay ;a; next

Captain…where was the captain? Was he okay? He doubted so, that blast had been insane. Even with Killer moving in front to protect his captain - he didn’t stand any kind of chance. Shanks was just too powerful.

On his back, breathing heavy, staring at the sky above. He's praying to whatever deity, or maybe the universe, that this isn’t the end but he's pretty sure it might be. He tries to think of how he got here; all the events that led up to this moment but he can't even form a coherent thought right now. He can’t even move to see if he can find his captain; hell, he can hardly keep his eyes open. They slowly flutter shut as the world around him goes black.

His heart feels like it's beating out of his chest. He never thought...he couldn't believe that he'd go out like this. Not this soon. He thought there'd be more of some kind of a fight; not being annihilated by a single blow. He’s searching for a lifeline he just can’t reach. His vision starts blurring as the light starts to fade. Water suddenly surrounds his body - did he fall into the ocean? He can’t even swim now, so he’ll probably end up sinking. He slowly falls unconscious once more.

Inhale. Exhale.

Looks like someone fished him out of the water, he can breathe but not easily. With each inhale followed by its exhale, he swears his ribs are breaking. It wouldn't surprise him if they punctured his lungs soon. The pain, it’s unrelenting. He’s ready for the end if that means all of this would end… Going out at twenty-seven? He supposed he made it further than most pirates, but he still feels like he could’ve gone further. Voices can be heard, but he can’t make anything out. Again, his world goes black. 

Suddenly, his life is flashing before his eyes like some kind of movie. The highs, the lows, his accomplishments, and everything that never happened; most of them are memories of you. There was so much that was unsaid - so much that he wanted to tell you. He had told himself he would finally tell you everything when you returned from Wano, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen now.

Naturally, the first memory to surface was when he had met you. The captain and him had just gotten their asses handed to them by Victoria for laughing at her when she spilled brown curry all over herself. They had retreated to the captain’s house. Eustass had burst into his sibling’s room to declare not to come into his room, which, of course, would arouse suspicion for anyone. Not moments later, you had burst into the captain's room with such a confident look on your face that you had caught your brother doing something devious. You immediately swept him off his feet; had taken his breath away. It was love at first sight. He was certain he’d never seen anyone so radiant; his world had grown a little brighter that day.

It only grew from there. Seeing the way you cared for the captain and everyone else, it was admirable. You were patient with them; caring and kind. You never once complained about having everyone over or having so many mouths to feed. After all, it was only you providing for the lot of you for a long time. You had dropped out of school just to take care of the captain and you didn’t even bat an eye. You didn’t even hesitate to do what you needed to make sure that Eustass had everything he could ever need. You never once seemed to regret it. You were so strong in more ways than one.

The scene shifted to the first time you taught him how to cook. You taught him how to make spaghetti from scratch. You could've just bought box noodles, but you had gone the extra mile to really show off your own skills and show him how to really cook. You were patient with him despite him being really bad in the beginning. You never once lost your temper with him or raised your voice. Honestly, it's probably why spaghetti ended up being his favorite food - because it reminded him of you. Of the warmth you made him feel that day. 

Each and every time you saved their asses from their own dumb decisions, it only solidified his love for you. You displayed such strength and grace when you fought, never once becoming overwhelmed, no matter how many opponents stood in your way. You always came out on top without hardly breaking a sweat. He admired you for that. You never hesitated in your actions. All they had to say was that someone was in trouble and you jumped into action with no questions asked; no complaints. Sure, there was teasing, but it was light hearted and you never meant it.

Eustass noticed Killer’s crush on you back on the island. He had been staring just a little too long one day and as Eustass had put it, “You just had a look on your face.” He had teased him relentlessly about it, but also kept pushing him to confess. Killer kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldn't. You probably only saw him as a brother as you did the others. The captain tried to argue that point; saying that the both of you acted more like a domestic couple than anything else. You both were practically parents of the other three. 

The captain was actually the one who had given him the photo of you. It had been as a joke at first. "Take a picture, it lasts longer." It was a photo of you stitching up one of them, but you had been laughing at something that someone had said. Seeing you like that had taken his breath away. He loved it when you laughed, it was the most beautiful thing to him. He was so in love with you that it hurt.

Little did the captain know that Killer did end up keeping that photo. It stayed in his helmet - it was his treasure.

Heat and Wire caught on not long after and the teasing only grew worse from there. They had noticed when he started developing the habit of holding on to your hips whenever you would patch him up. Even still, he never said anything. He just thought you were out of his league, too good for him; much to everyone else’s dismay. They just wanted him to confess, but they weren’t about to do it for him.

When he had seen you near death in that alleyway - that was the first time Killer had experienced true anger. Someone pulling dirty tricks to get to you - you didn't deserve that. You never attacked out of turn, you had only ever attacked as defense. Never started a fight, just ended it. You were always just playing clean up. Cleaning up their messes and it had gotten you hurt. You were his ray of sunshine and he’d be damned if he was going to let anyone take that away from him. He felt like he had failed you that day somehow - like it was his fault you had ended up that way. He made a silent vow to make sure no one ever hurt you like that ever again.

After the attack, you weren’t the same. You were more skittish, had lost your sparkle and shine. All that confidence you had was gone. You did your best to pretend it didn't bother you, but he could see right through you. Aside from Eustass, no one could read you better than Killer. He still loved you with every ounce of his being, no matter what happened. He just wanted to hold you close and tell you that everything was alright, that he’d protect you from harm. Though, he still blamed himself somewhat for what happened, so he kept his distance.

Then he saw a shift in your personality out at sea. You had been growing your confidence back. You were happy and full of life again. You would cook with him, help your brother with some projects, even taught Heat and Wire how to smith. You still had your moments, but you seemed happy. You had your groove back for the most part. He was happy to see you in your element once more.

When you opened up to him on the island, his heart ached for you. Seeing you talk about yourself in such a manner, he couldn’t understand why you had thought that way. Everyone cherished you so much. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t fight anymore because you did everything in your power to help out wherever you could. He was determined to help you see just how much you meant to everyone; and for a moment, he thought it worked.

Something happened that created that drastic shift in your mood. Later, it was to be shown it was Kese, but at the time he couldn't understand. You started really pulling away and it had concerned everyone. No one knew what was going on. Everyone tried talking to you at one point or another, but you shut everyone out. 

Then you announced you were going to leave the crew. It wasn't forever, but it ended up feeling like it. He had been upset just as Eustass had been, but he knew you had your reasons and he respected that. If this would help you, then he’d gladly let you take some time. After all, he said he’d never make you do something that you didn’t want to do.

It was during your departure that the terrible news came. The news that you had been taken from them far too soon. He was absolutely devastated just as the captain had been - everyone was. He felt like his world was crumbling. He did some stupid things - things he knew you would never have approved of - right along with the captain. The both of them held little value of their own lives, growing reckless in their actions.

The events of Wano then happened. He didn't recall too much of what happened in the snowfield. He wasn't fully himself when that happened and you were covered head to toe in robes. 

But when you showed up, saving their asses just like you used to? Looking radiant and fantastic? He was pretty sure he had died and went to whatever heaven right then and there. He figured it had been a mix up cause there's no way he'd end up there, but as long as you were there, he didn't care. You looked like the guardian angel you had always been. The confidence you once held was back and he fell in love with you all over again. That shine, that sparkle, your shit eating grin, and cocky way you spoke - he had missed it so much. 

He could hardly speak let alone move, he had been so glad he wore a helmet because he wouldn’t have been able to keep anything hidden. His heart would’ve been on his sleeve at that moment.

Both him and Eustass had honestly thought you were a hallucination after you left once again. They assumed they had just had a close run in with death and wanted to see you one more time so they both imagined you. Or your spirit had swooped down to save their asses one last time before ascending back to the heavens. There was just no way that they were that lucky - that the universe would bring you back to them just because.

Only to their surprise when you showed up with the rest of the crew. You were actually there - alive. You were smiling, laughing, and arguing with Eustass. Everything was right again. They both tried not to dwell on it too much because they both knew they wouldn’t be able to hold it together in the slightest.

He had wanted so badly to tell you how much he loved you - how much he always loved you. But, with what happened with the SMILE fruit, he just felt like he wasn't worthy of your love. Whatever confidence he had somehow gotten had been shattered because of the damn fruit. Insecurity took over, he felt like a monster. A monster you could never love.

Though, you never once showed an ounce of fear or disgust. Not even in the snowfields. That much he remembered. From the moment you had seen him both as Kamazo and as himself, both times he had only seen sympathy in your eyes. You saw right through his smile, you knew there was nothing but pain and sadness behind it. Even when you heard his hideous and terrible laugh, it didn’t seem to phase you in the slightest.

He had almost confessed to you that night in the kitchen. However, with everything else that happened and your welcoming aura, just you being back and in his arms, the miracle of you being alive, he broke down. You didn't judge him though, you didn't make him feel weak for doing so. It felt like the most natural thing, like it was okay for him to not be strong all the time, like he could finally let go. He felt he could relax again. You were there in his arms and safe. You held on to him in a way that gave him the resolve to keep going. He knew as long as you were around - things would be right. He could be content with just being by your side.

Then you dropped the bomb that you were staying behind again. The amount of anxiety he had felt when he first heard this was astronomical. Who was going to protect you? Why were you staying? Did you get into a fight with Eustass? He couldn't see why you'd want to stay. Especially not after what had happened last time. The excuse you gave the crew, he saw right through it. There was a reason you were staying but you weren’t telling anyone. Why?

It didn't help that you wouldn't tell him the truth either. What could it have been that you couldn't even tell him? You two had always been transparent with each other. The both of you always went to each other for everything. There were no secrets between the two of you. Well, except for his massive secret of being in love with you all this time. 

Seeing the determination in your eyes, you had your heart set on it; and who was he to stop you from achieving whatever it was you had your heart set on? He knew it had to be important if it meant you'd be leaving the crew again. Eustass seemed to know why you were staying, but he also wouldn't tell anyone. It must have been a very good reason considering that the captain was a blabbermouth and couldn’t hardly keep any form of secret to himself. It also must have been a very good reason for him to allow you to stay behind.

Killer had tried to get the information out of him. And he almost did. 

"I'll tell you, but only if you finally tell them how you feel." 

That's what he had said and, dammit, he tried. Killer had never been one to convey his feelings in the least. He just wasn't good at it - especially when it came to you. You were just so perfect and so out of reach to him that when he tried any kind of confession, he ended up tongue tied. How could he admit his feelings for someone that he held so dear? What if everything went south? He couldn’t stand to lose you in any capacity - he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

The night of the festival, he had taken the biggest risk he'd ever had. Sure, it started out of genuine concern. You were spiraling and he could tell - it had kind of been his fault for reopening such a fresh wound. He reached out, putting his hand on your thigh in an attempt to ground you. You seemed to come back and even welcome the touch. You visibly relaxed to his touch and he couldn’t help but…keep it there.

So, he decided to keep his hand there and you didn't push him away. That told him everything he needed to know. That little bit of contact that you allowed, and even seemed to enjoy, was more telling than words could give him. The both of you had always been able to communicate more silently. You were connected in that way. Words weren’t really needed.

Again, he didn't say anything. He didn't feel it was the right time. He didn't want you to feel like it was some last ditch effort to keep you on the ship. He decided that he'd finally say something whenever he saw you again - much to the captain's dismay. Eustass just wanted him to stop overthinking everything and get it out. Though, there seemed to be a silent agreement between you and Killer after that night. One that said there was going to be some kind of conversation when you were reunited.

And now, he'd never get the chance. You were in Wano, probably seeing the vivre card slowly burning, not knowing what to do. You told them not to go and get themselves killed, yet here he was, more than likely dying. Right along with his captain - your brother.

In the haze of his subconscious, he saw a face. Your face. You were leaning over him, saying something in a panic. Did you find him? Did whatever celestial being that's out there decide to give him mercy and bring you to him? Or was this all a dream? 

Maybe this was a second chance, another life to live. No, he couldn't be that lucky. He was surprised he was still alive - was he alive? Or was he in limbo right now? He had no idea.

He did notice that your blurry face was crying. Why, in his last moments, would he imagine you crying? Was it because of the guilt he was currently feeling? You were going to be left all alone. Well, he wasn’t even sure how much of the other crew had survived if at all. 

He knew that he probably wouldn’t survive, probably not the captain either. He had no idea where the rest of the crew was. He felt like a failure. He had failed to protect the grew, failed to keep his promise to you, failed you.

How could you forgive him? He wouldn't blame you if you were mad at him for the rest of your life. There were so many things left unsaid between the both of you. He felt you pull his head against your chest. Was this real? Or still the last ditch attempt to feel you in some way before he died?

"Everything's alright. Don't be afraid. Close your eyes - rest." 

Those words rang through clear as day before he finally let go of consciousness once more.

[iknowshocker]

so chapter 25 is painful, your honor

Bonnie flinches back from the shadows of the cave, the sudden brush of cool water hitting her skin from the falls making goosebumps rise along her arms.

Next to her, Jo faces the waiting dark in silence, tears still streaming from her eyes, though she makes no move to scrub them away.

There's a strange stiffness to her body, each of her movements jagged and rough - as though she's fighting through the sensation of being turned to stone. Despite the fact that her switch has clearly been flipped back, an eerie sort of calm settles over her, another pulse of Kai’s magic spreading out from her pendant. 

It breaks the moment they round the corner into the main hall of the cave and see the body. 

Ric is on his knees beside Kai, one hand braced over his own ribs, the other tugging a charred stake from his brother-in-law's chest. His desiccated, unmoving, perfectly still chest - 

Jo’s hand slips from Bonnie’s as she flashes away, making Ric jump as she lands in the dirt across from him. The sound she makes as she looks down at her twin nearly sends Bonnie to her knees, her mind struggling to catch up as Jo’s fingers clench in the ruined fabric of Kai’s shirt. 

Magic howls through her blood, thrumming with the unbearable truth, but Bonnie pushes it away, shaking her head as she stumbles back. Even if it is real, it can't be permanent - Kai always has a plan.

If he's dead, then there must be a good reason.

[tumblasha]

final panel of the series is bkdk handhold as they cut the ribbon at the grand opening of their joint agency TRUST

[f-imaginings]

Finally got over the three rewrites (THREE!! I had to get it right and kept changing my mind haha) of a scene and now the first four scenes in the next chapter are done 😌 unfortunately the first four scenes are like 46 pages in total and I've still got eight scenes to go so if the trend continues the next chapter of kmky may be like 120 pages long 🥺 strap yourselves in for a long read I guess.

[ploverpaw]

OKAY the Curlfeather chapter in the leaks definitely could have been improved but y'all had me So Terrified it was going to be way worse

[queenofbaws]

there are already roughly a million posts like this already circulating, but man. just. sometimes you really do have to step away from something you're working on and come back to it later.

creative buds, please. please. no one is worse at taking my advice than i am, believe me, but seriously, if you've been feeling down or frustrated or stumped with something you've been working on lately, take this as your sign to maybe take a little break. a week, a month, whatever. you've been looking at it too long, you've read it too many times, you've erased that same line so many times you've lost count - you need to come back to it with a rested brain and fresh eyes.

however rough it feels to you now, i promise, promise, promise that it'll feel so much better after a little distance. <3

[laugtherhyena]

Continuing the rant-iness of last post's notes onto this one i think (I appreciate if they're read, i think I'm too self-conscious to have them in the post itself)

[sparrow-in-the-field]

I really want to get the next jorty chapter posted this weekend. through no pressure by anyone else, just a deep and determined feeling in my soul.

It has so much editing I need to do but I'm about to throw myself in and tbh I'm pretty excited for it.

[obaewankenope]

I'm going to try and finish at least one (1) fic this month even if it kills me bc jfc I'm losing my mind at how much I wanna finish sth and just keep stalling gfdi