#y’all are all so clever and funny and so creative
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#the promise#the promise the series#pastsenger#pastsenger the series#a boss and a babe#step by step#step by step the series#our skyy 2#please don’t yell at me for saying abab isn’t consistent#it’s not my favorite show but I have been so good about not posting negativity#and this isn’t even negative it’s just something I wish for thank you for not yelling#anywayyy if you have a funny joke ship please tell me I beg you#y’all are all so clever and funny and so creative#I’d love to know what you guys come up with
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about that taylor swift post-
im going to address this once so that hopefully the deranged weirdos on my post can find some clarity 🩷
it’s great to have different opinions. it’s totally fine. but I’ve been getting the same comments about taylor swift SO many of times and i honestly think it’s just annoying bc you all seem to think you’re funny but you’re just not lol. it’s the same comments repeated over and over again they weren’t funny to begin with and they’re not any funnier now. there’s no cleverness, no creativity, no ingenuity. you guys are just boring honestly and this post was me expressing how annoying you all sound after 7 days worth of the same inane comments :)
and also like- im like fully aware that it’s not that serious. what’s interesting though is that I don’t think YOU guys are aware that it’s not that serious lmao. maybe you guys just don’t have a good grasp on reality so maybe that’s why taylor swift losing a pop girl poll on tumblr dot com is so important to you like maybe you guys just like live in this false reality or something that I’m not a part of so I wouldn’t get your pov. in MY reality for example, taylor swift is a singer that i like and who i listen to. i don’t view her as any better or any worse than other singers i like and listen to. im able to live my life normally regardless of what taylor swift is doing haha. but for you guys it’s like, she is this ever-present ominous supervillain who is intent on destroying you and your bloodline so you view her as this enemy in a one-sided battle that she’s not even aware she’s participating in. so it’s weird but honestly kind of funny to watch as an outsider lmao. i’ve never seen a more obsessed group of people like i grew up in the barbz era and i feel like you guys give the same energy to taylor swift that barbz give to nicki minaj just in the opposite way if that makes sense. y’all are obsessed with taylor swift and thats just weird to me. if you dont even like her then why do you spend so much time talking about her lmao???? the fact that i made 1 (one) innocuous post about her and you guys are now having full on mental health emergencies in my notes and inbox shows how unhealthy this obsession with her is. that’s kind of where im getting confused so im asking for real here- are you just like closeted , shameful swifties like is that what this is all about?
anyways i’m linking tumblr’s mental health resource page. i would recommend perusing through some of these the next time you feel the urge to be insane about some 30 yr old woman who doesn’t know you ❤️
#also the fact that i don’t even WANT her to win?#like the only people im rooting for are monaleo tyla and all the latinas lmao.#tumblrpopgirlshowdown
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✨the Wild West🤠✨
Angel: WHATUP BITCHES
Babe: YOOOOO
Sam: why hello to you too?
Sweetheart: heyyyy
Angel: guys guys guys guys
Angel: like the wonderful creative one of a kind person I am I came up w an ✨idea✨
Sam: oh no
Babe: OH YES
Sweetheart: oh?
Angel: ima pretend yall all got babes enthusiasm BUT ANYWAY
Angel: hear me out
Sweetheart: I’m scared
Sam: join the club
Angel: we get nicknames for the gc?!!!!!
Sam: that’s actually not that bad
Babe: YESSS
Sweetheart: that’s what you think
Angel: ok but I get to pick bc I’m the talented one and I made this group chat🤭😌
Sam: there it is
Angel: since you questioned my judgment ur going FIRST
Sam: oh no
[angel has changed sams name to brokeback mountain]
Brokeback Mountain: Angel why are you like this?
Angel: MWAHAHAHAHAH
sweetheart: y’all i laughed and my boss looked at me weird💀
Babe: OMG ME NEXT
Brokeback Mountain: whyy are you encouraging this?
Babe: bc it’s fun🙄
Angel: like jeez old man get w the program🙄
Sweetheart: PFF-
Brokeback Mountain: do your name changes or whatever before I get darlin to beat your ass.
Angel: like you was beating theirs in but OH YEA
Sweetheart: nah💀
Angel: BABE
Angel: I NOW DUB THEE
[angel has changed babes name to trainer]
Trainer: what does that even mean babes😭
Angel: w all the collars u be putting on that dog of urs…
Brokeback Mountain: Oh my lord🙄
Trainer: YOU RIGHT YOU RIGHT💪🏻😚
Sweetheart: nah cause that’s clever as shit💀
Sweetheart: does your head hurt after using your brain?
Angel: haha very funny
Angel: just you wait for you
Angel: speaking of which…
[angel has changed sweethearts name to invisa-bitch]
Invisa-bitch: ok I actually like that lol
Brokeback Mountain: lucky
Angel: AND NOW
Angel: FOR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
Angel: DRUM ROLLLLL
[angel has changed angels name to mini alpha👑]
Mini alpha👑: best for last😌
Invisa-bitch: wooooooowwwwwwe
Trainer: so chic
Mini alpha👑: ikr🥶🥶🥶🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️💅💅💅
Brokeback Mountain: this has got to be bullying
Brokeback Mountain: I’m going to bed
Mini alpha👑: goodbye grandpa🥺🥺
Trainer: sleep well pawpaw🥺🥺
Invisa-bitch: sleep well Sam
Brokeback Mountain: thank you SWEETHEART.
#this took like a full day to make#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted#redactedasmr#redacted headcanons#redacted sam#sam redacted#redacted sam collins#sam collins#redacted sweetheart#redacted babe#redacted angel#redacted group chat#frogs group chats#✨the wild west🤠✨#redacted verse
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In honor of the anniversary of Season 2, I decided to update my personal story as a part of the Good Omens fandom community.
I was creatively blocked for months before I sat down with my husband to watch Season 2. As I watched our characters be sweet, silly and funny for several episodes, I was having a nice night. And then I made it to the end, and I sat there in heartbroken shock as the credits rolled.
That night, my mind refused to let go. I was replaying the final fifteen in my head until I started pulling up fanfic. From there, I reset my Tumblr password and found fan-theories. My imagination sparked, and I started a writing frenzy.
In the past year, I’ve written over 30 complete stories with several more still in progress. I went from barely writing 5k words in six months to writing 250K words in the past year. I enjoyed Good Omens before the drop of Season 2 with that crushing end. But, it was that cliffhanger and all the questions we were left with that got me into the fandom.
It’s been the most fantastic community to be a part of. Y’all are creative, open, warm and caring people. You’re positive and helpful. Without a doubt, my Good Omens community has been a bright spot in a tough time, and y’all have led me to be a more authentic version of myself.
So, Thank you! Thank you to all the creative and lovely people that are part of the Good Omens community! I look forward to all the brilliant artwork, clever memes, and delightful chats in coming year.
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Creative process
(made for the school newspaper)
In case we haven’t noticed, my article ideas are often… interesting to say the least. People have asked me how I come up with my ideas, and I have decided to spare you the inane ramblings that make up my inner monologue. Rest assured, as any writer refuses to tell you (we are a pretentious bunch after all) everyone’s creative process is either absurd or absurdly dull. I, however, care more for attention than my self esteem and will tell you everything you wish to know about my creative process, albeit in an abridged and streamlined form for the sake of clarity. Imagine, if you will, a seed. With the proper nurture and care, that seed can grow into a sapling, and then into a mighty tree. This has nothing to do with the article’s topic, I just thought it would be funny to mess with y’all. That being said, what is the creative process? In case the name wasn’t evidence enough, the creative process is the process one undergoes to create something new. This concept applies equally to any form of art, be it written, dance, music, or anything else. My chosen mediums are writing and worldbuilding (which will be properly defined later), but I’ll be focusing more on worldbuilding for the purposes of this article as I have more to say on it.
Let’s start with the shortest bit, being my articles and essays. For these my inspiration stems from necessity, I can’t just not write something. My other muse is my desperation to be seen as clever, so I painstakingly wrack my brain in an attempt to find something, anything I can write enough about to have space to be clever. Once I have that core concept I think out a timeline: how and when to address each aspect in turn. And thus the prompt is fulfilled and the paper written.
Now for the fun bit. Worldbuilding, as I describe it, is the creation of a context. If the story is to be defined as the main chatacter/s journey, then worldbuilding is creating the path they walk on and the forest they walk through and how and why the forest is there and how and why the main character/s got to be there to even begin with. To worldbuild is to reinvent physics in the most terrifying way, or perhaps recreate a new society, or even reimagine the gods themselves.
So how does one go about doing that? I myself do it one of two ways. In the first of which a character comes to me, and I then form the context that would bring that character into existence. Consider the former prince, now a rouge. What kingdom did he belong to? Why did he get exiled? Have others been exiled before him? What organization is he part of now? From a single character, a universe can emerge.
While the first started small and expanded, my second way does quite the opposite. Let’s say you have a new idea for a magic system, or a unique landscape. From there it is as simple as following the logic. As an example, you have twin worlds, one of which with gravity inverted. You’ve decided that they lie just above one another, and if one climbs to 3,000,000 feet exactly, one can find where the world flips on its head. Now the question is, what sort of society forms from this? Are the twinned worlds allies? Enemies? One and the same? How did the world come to be this way? Follow each thought to its own conclusion and the world manifests itself.
Regardless of what your medium is, each piece of art or new creation requires that creative process, and I hope that in sharing mine it jumpstarts yours. Also, to the storytellers, please give me my villian arc.
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Angel x Reader
Note: 2 updates in a day, I can’t believe I even did it. I hope you guys enjoy it!
“Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you.”
EZ and Gilly looked over at Angel and cracked up, “That was pathetic, bro.”
He glared and flipped them off, “Not like y’all pussies are shooting your shot.”
EZ looked back at Gilly, “Pool rematch?”
“Fuck yeah, Boy Scout,” he got off his chair, “If he says some cheesy bullshit again, don’t keep it to yourself,” he pointed at the bartender, who was still laughing.
She nodded, “You got it.” EZ pat Angel’s back with a wide grin before heading over to an empty pool table.
“You didn’t like my line?” Angel asked, lighting a cigarette.
She smirked, “Pretty elementary.”
“Elementary?!” he touched his chest, “Damn, ma. That hurts.”
“I’ve been a bartender for 8 years, Casanova. You’re gonna have to get creative to impress me,” she told him as she opened a beer, passing it to a regular.
“Alright, if I do, you go out with me?” he asked.
She laughed, “I’ll think about it. You good or do you want another?”
Angel nodded, “Another, please.”
~
Angel walked into the bar, smiling when he saw her behind the bar. He wasn’t used to getting rejected, unless it was Adelita. It made him want to try harder and he couldn’t understand why.
“I got a question,” he said as he sat down.
She turned around and smiled, “What’s your question?”
He put on a confused face, “How do you keep that ice from melting when you’re so hot?”
She laughed loudly, covering her mouth to muffle the sound, “That was clever, Romeo.”
“Clever enough for dinner?” he asked.
“Nah,” she opened a beer and set it down for him, “But it made me laugh, which I needed.”
“Tough day?” he frowned, “Someone bothering you? I’ll beat them up.”
“No,” she giggled and his heart skipped a beat, “I’m getting my masters and I have some tough exams coming up.”
His eyes widened, “Masters? Damn. In what?”
“Art,” she smiled.
“Really?” he took a sip of his beer.
She smiled, “Yes. I have a bachelor’s in business. I wanna work in museums.”
He watched her as she went on to serve a few new patrons. She was way out of his league but he wasn’t thinking about Adelita as much. And he liked it a lot.
~
The bar was busy the next time he visited. Her face lit up when she saw him.
“Romeo!” she grinned, “What’s the attempt today?”
Angel smirked, “Is your name Toddy?”
“Oh god,” she smiled.
“Because you’re hot,” he finished.
“6 out of 10, my friend,” she shook her head, “What are you drinking tonight?”
“Jack and Coke, please,” he laughed, “Its busy tonight.”
She nodded, “You’re lucky, its karaoke night.”
He took a sip of his drink, “Why am I lucky?”
She grinned and started making a round of shots, “Free entertainment, no?”
His phone buzzed.
Coco Where you at?
Angel At the bar, come thru
Coco Bro you still stalking that poor girl?
Angel Fuck you
“How’s your drink?” she asked.
“Good,” he nodded as a man got on the small stage. Angel ended up watching her all night instead of the karaoke singers. Her eyes lit up when she thought something was funny. She never seemed stressed or upset. Her smile made him feel things he hadn’t in a long time. She was perfect.
~
“Señorita,” he called as EZ followed him into the bar, “Can you shake that ass like you shake that drink?”
“Booooo,” she shook her head, “Creepy, 0 out of 10.”
He sat down, “I didn’t expect that one to work, to be honest.”
“Good,” she laughed, tying her long hair in a bun, “What can I get for you two?”
“Two beers, please,” Angel smiled, “This is my brother, EZ.”
“Hi brother EZ,” she nodded as she opened their beers, “I’m sorry you’re stuck with him.”
Angel’s jaw dropped as EZ laughed, “We all have our faults. Good to see you again.”
She set the beer down in front of Angel, “Cheer up, papi. I’ve kicked men out for that line.”
“You know I’m harmless,” he smiled.
“Do I?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.
EZ grinned, “I’m surprised he’s still trying. Its been what, a month?”
She smirked, “He doesn’t stick around?”
Angel glared at EZ, “He does,” he smiled, “Just not recently.”
“I don’t like this,” Angel frowned.
“I do,” she giggled, “I’m finding out things about you. Its interesting.”
He finished his beer, “You could ask me.”
She wrinkled her nose, “You’re no fun. Do you want another one?”
“Yes, please,” he smiled.
“See, easy to make you stop pouting,” she joked and opened a beer for him before heading down the bar to some other patrons.
EZ smirked, “I get it now.”
Angel arched an eyebrow as he pulled a cigarette out, “What do you mean?”
He motioned to her, where she looked like she was deep in conversation with a man, “You two have chemistry, bro. Why haven’t you asked her out yet?”
He rolled his eyes as he lit the cigarette, “Chemistry. Shut the fuck up. And I’m trying to figure out how. She’s way the fuck out of my league, E.”
“She wanted to find out more about you. That’s a good sign,” he said before they heard yelling.
They looked over to find a man leaning over the bar, screaming in her face. She didn’t look scared. She held her own and remained calm but Angel kept his eyes on them.
“I got your back,” EZ murmured, also watching.
It happened fast. Angel was out of his chair as soon as the man cocked his fist back. He grabbed the man’s balled fist and when the glassy eyes looked up at him, he grinned evilly.
“Better think twice on who you swing at, bro. I don’t stop. Ain’t that right, E?”
The man looked over at EZ and his eyes got wider. He piled cash on the bar and ran out. Angel looked behind the bar but she was gone. He frowned.
“She went out back,” one of her coworkers explained, “In the alley.”
He nodded and went out the front door, turning into the alley. He found her leaning against the wall, a cigarette in her hand.
“Hey,” he murmured, “You okay?”
She nodded, “I am, thanks. Just need a minute.”
He glanced at the door, “I can leave if you want.”
“No, you don’t have to,” she sat down on a few crates, then looked up at him, “Thank you, by the way.”
“Any time,” he sat next to her.
“What did EZ mean?” she asked, “By you don’t stick around lately?”
Angel signed, fidgeting with an unlit cigarette, “I was with this woman. Proposed. She was pregnant. She left me after telling me the baby wasn’t mine anyway. And I’m not good with like…feelings and shit.”
She frowned, “Angel, that’s awful. You don’t deserve that.”
He smiled softly, “Thanks.”
“So what, you’ve been working out your feelings through alcohol and pussy?” she asked.
“And weed,” he smirked and looked at her, “I like hearing you say pussy.”
“On that note,” she laughed and stood up, putting her cigarette out with her boot, “I should get back.”
He stood up, “Let me escort you.”
She grinned, “So chivalrous.”
~
“I think I should ask her out instead,” Gilly announced, “Because you’re clearly failing if its a fucking Friday night and you’re here pouting over her.”
Angel tossed a cigarette butt into Gilly’s drink, grinning when he shouted in protest.
“Maybe you should invite her over here,” Coco suggested.
“He wants her to like him, that won’t work,” EZ smirked.
Angel rolled his eyes, “You’re all fuckin comedians. I’m just trying to figure her out. See what she wants. The best way to approach her or whatever.”
“I know the answer,” EZ said, “I asked her. Figured that was the most simple way.”
“What’d she say?” Angel asked.
~
“Heads up, babe, Casanova at three o clock.”
She looked up to see Angel walking in. Her eyes widened as he offered his hand to her.
“My name’s Angel,” he said as she shook his hand, “I think you’re fucking gorgeous, way too smart for me and funny. Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?”
She smiled, “What time?”
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Dramione Recommendations
Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay.
I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it.
Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x
Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing
Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all.
I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level.
I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.
There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?
I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee.
The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8
The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!
After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon.
So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic.
Also the smut is divine ;)
Manacled by @senlinyu
My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.
The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft.
I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look.
The Erised Effect by @adaprix
Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)
Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like... now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better.
Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath.
Clean by @olivieblake
This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it.
Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending!
Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)
Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm
The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*
God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione.
Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell. But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright.
WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone
This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel.
It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.
And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes.
The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie
Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with...” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace...
Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot.
The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities
Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one.
This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!
The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen
Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe.
This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored.
Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.
A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for.
Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills
In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.
Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud
This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review.
From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer.
New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online.
#This post is the online equivalent of me thrusting a pile of books into your hands and poking at you until you every single one#A behaviour I may or may not already be prone to#dramione#fanfiction#fanfic recommendations#I think I may have missed a few but I think I'll try to make a habit of gushing over new writers as I find them#Doing this just satisfies a deep inner urge in me to just compliment the everloving shit out of writers#who made my life a little more bearable with their words
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Hey, Eds! Okay so obviously feel free to not respond to this if I'm being too much rn, but I heard that you were feeling down, so I have some compliments for you that are maybe a little odd but might make you smile, which is the goal.
I love your eyes. For as long as I can remember, I've always hated my eyes bc they're dark brown and that just felt so dull and plain. But then I hear other people raving about Eddie Munson's eyes, how warm and kind they are, how sometimes the light catches them and they look like chocolate... Idk, the hype over your eyes made me like my own eyes a lot more, and the hype is well deserved because your eyes are genuinely so pretty. Also, they make me think of my golden retriever's eyes, and I mean that as the highest possible compliment bc her eyes are filled with love and comfort.
You have the most comforting presence. Idk how else to describe it, it's just like. I can talk to you for like 2 seconds, and I immediately feel better. Something about your vibe is just generally very reassuring and calming. It makes me feel safe from my anxieties 💛
You are so kind. You've made me feel validated and made me smile so many times without even realizing that you were doing it. Like, I mentioned once that my pronouns are they/he, and you've never once made me feel weird about it; you just keep talking to me like you did before. That might not seem like a huge deal, but it does mean a lot to me.
You're so talented, beautiful, funny, friendly, clever... I could go on and on, but I don't want to be annoying (hopefully I'm not already doing that), so I'll just say that I love you and I hope things start looking up for you soon 💗
~ 🌷
Okay I just woke up and read this and you’re gonna make a grown man cry, wtf. This is so god damn sweet of you. Fucking— Jesus h Christ. 😭
Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time outta your day to come and say all of this to me, you have no fucking idea how incredible of a feeling it is to wake up and read something so kind.
Secondly, I’ve achieved my goal. If I’m able to make people feel safe, comfortable, validated, happy and respected then I’ve peaked. That’s all I wanted out of my life is to give everyone a place to call home and to know I’ve achieved this so young makes me want to burst into tears all over again.
Thirdly but equally as importantly, I do it for y’all. I want everyone to feel like they can be themselves without judgment around me. Whether you’re the nerdiest little geek, or the most athletic little jock, or the quirkiest little creative type, regardless of age, race, sexual identity, religion, physical or mental capability, emotional baggage or squeaky clean backstory, I want everyone to feel like they’re home with me. I just want everyone to have a safe place to come to when they need it and it brings me so much god damn joy to know I’ve done that.
I will only continue to do this.
Holy fuck, I’m on cloud nine. I love y’all so much.
Thank you, Tulip. You have no idea how much this message means to me, thank you so fucking much.
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The Castle Car and the Train to Nowhere!
This was SUCH an amazing and compelling finale, y’all! The way all these things come together, how it just culminates in humble, silly, yet REAL apologies… Concessions, the parallels in the denizens and one another, I love it SO MUCH!
Firstly, what started as a funny gag photo with Jeremy, Kez, and Morgan, and the meaning expanded upon- SSSOOO clever, like everything in this entire damn series! But also the grief and symbolism, how Morgan is literally like a prison for Jeremy… And she wants to keep him, hold onto him, but she’s not letting him be his own person, and it reminds me of Min not wanting to be left behind by Ryan! And how Morgan takes things personally against Kez for just being herself, for this accident, at Jeremy for leaving her… And how Min learns not to be mad at Ryan and vice-versa, that they FINALLY learn to say sorry!
There’s so much to unwrap… Jeremy going on his journey, but he never really left, just like Ryan going off but not REALLY progressing! And this theme of progression and journeys, wanting to get it over with and rush it, feeling like you’re trapped and not getting anywhere… Wanting a plan or a destination, but as Kez said, sometimes it’s just about the journey! To just live in the moment, to enjoy and appreciate what happened… To not stay stuck over the past, while also taking responsibility, mutually admitting where you went wrong! Making concessions because you LOVE a person, you want them to be their own!
How Kez really didn’t just mean to, just like Ryan can sometimes be thoughtless… How the passengers learn to help the denizens and vice-versa in their examples! Jeremy realizing he never really left the fog, and when he figures this out with Kez’s help, in a sense he goes back to where he started; And only by returning can he start anew his ACTUAL journey, just as Ryan goes back home to reunite with Min, and starts off this whole sequence! And GOD, the horror and creepiness of Kez luring them in for a trap, dragging them along without really telling the plan, no trust and how Min feels like he can’t trust Ryan who just brings him and doesn’t slow down…
UGH IT’S SO GOOD, and how Kez and Morgan learn to confront their issues, how Kez just wants to make up- And Morgan is rooted in place, stuck in the past, maybe kind of like Min? The culmination of Kez being a welcoming bell for people… AND RYAN FINALLY GETTING TO RING HER, we’d never seen ANY ringing and we finally got it! For a moment I thought it’d cut to an actual bell ringing as we see Ryan and Min at a real-life place to check in for their journey… But no, we got it! God, the wordless trust as Kez fully understands and bows her little head, eyes closed… Kez is phenomenal, 10/10, one of THE best denizens in my opinion, alongside Lake!
Just GOD, the motif of the train and passengers and journeys, the denizens going on their own journey… I must say, with how the denizens can actually leave to hound after the passengers even after the puzzle is done, even taking advantage of the local tech- It all seems very unintended, doesn’t it? And Amelia, lol, we get to sort of see her take-over; We know it happens across Book 4, and we see the effects with how she’s trying to figure out the Steward and take Ryan and Min’s boots for her own experiments, only to mess up and cause the Steward to self-destruct! It’s kind of hilarious how everything stops for a moment and Ryan and Min have no clue WHAT happened, they don’t know who One or Amelia are, they heard their voices last time in that Party Car and that was about it… Hilarious.
But damn, Amelia just abandoning everyone and telling them they’re on their own, it’s a contrast to how these people are reuniting and finding solace… Well besides Judge Morpho, I’m glad she’s alive after all- I was afraid she’d be decked into the fire, but no, just out the chimney and gone! She really is unkillable, huh… And the Cow Creamer came back, she’s with her kid again! She’s a good and mature mom… And I SAW Kez’s apology coming and I loved it! And Ryan, Ryan wants to move on, he wants to get away and progress and he’s impatient, but he needs to learn to appreciate the journey, even if he has been feeling trapped and held down…
UGH IT’S SO GOOD, learning to stick with one another! The character themes, the clever bits of worldbuilding across the seasons, coming together like one giant puzzle as we learn and understand more about the setting, even retroactively, as well as some characters… The storytelling is SO concise, sweet, and to the point! Morgan gets to still cope with her own feelings on her own, that theme of enjoying and appreciating what you DID go through, as part of that theme of progress and learning to move on, while still taking it slowly enough to actually take in what’s happening!
There’s accountability with the apologies, admitting you did wrong, that you’ll actually learn and progress from here, instead of staying in the same places and repeating the same mistakes… It’s wonderfully cheesy but also heartfelt, I ADORE how this show isn’t afraid to be dark and twisted like Book 3, but then have a happy ending like this; It’s the RANGE that is granted by the setting, premise, and anthological story-telling!
Amelia doesn’t learn, not until she meets Tulip- And it’s SO fun thinking of how these characters all indirectly and directly interact and come together, the parallels… Amelia meets Ryan and Min, then later inspires Grace, she meets Tulip, who frees Lake who meets Jesse… And Tulip’s efforts get Amelia to change for the better, leading her to eventually meet Grace again, as WELL as Simon, and then Hazel who she made! It really is an interconnected web, a story that overlaps and all comes together as one great end-product and recipe, and DAMN if I’m not salty we’re not getting the rest! We’re missing out on a whole second half… But maybe in graphic novel or book- There’s hope and freedom in that medium, let’s not forget!
Well guys, this was a PHENOMENAL season, and a wonderful way to end the animated version of this tale… Although hopefully, the story continues on in other formats- And who knows, maybe the animated medium CAN be retained, if this does well enough. We’ll just have to wait and see… But in the meantime, this was a wonderful way to end things, and I genuinely hope that Owen Dennis can tell the rest of his story, perhaps in literal books; All of them, Books 5-8, as well as the resolution to Amelia and Hazel! This was purely amazing you guys, and it really made my day… THANK you, Owen and crew, for everything and Infinity Train- I mourn the destination and end after having reached it, but as Kez taught us, you just gotta appreciate the journey, and what mostly certainly DID happen…!
Even unintended, this works as a nice goodbye to the animated form of the series; So what better way to end, than with a song that makes the most of the animated format? And a song taking inspiration from the Infinity Train and the friends met there… I’ve always wanted to see a passenger incorporate those experiences creatively like that! Who knows, maybe Tulip did so with her games… And in the meantime, I’d love to see a reference to Chicken Choice Judy in a future Book, perhaps just a glimpse in modern time to see how they did! But then again, Owen does like his ambiguity; And even if Chicken Choice Judy didn’t make it, I think Ryan and Min can both agree that the brief tenure was still worth it, no anxiety over the destination- They’ll get there, WHEN they get there, as Min said… They don’t need to control, just adapt and survive! No knowledge nor certainty, no guarantees required- They have their hope, faith, their past, and one another as guidance to keep company, and they’ll never be alone from hear on out! They can learn to let go, and move on… Just as Jeremy moved on from the death of his own lover (and child), so hopefully Amelia can learn as well, too. We’ll see…
Until next time you guys… Like Ryan and Min, let’s appreciate what we did get, and keep ourselves open to our next destination, whatever it may be, if nothing; The journey was still enjoyed and happened! To our next destination, or shall we board off at our final stop- We’ll just have to wait and see.
#infinity train#infinity train book 4 spoilers#infinity train spoilers#infinity train book 4#infinity train duet#infinity train ryan#ryan akagi#infinity train min#min-gi park#infinity train kez#infinity train amelia#amelia hughes#infinity train morgan#speculation#analysis
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Sims 4 Zodiac legacy challenge!
Zodiac Legacy Challenge!
There’s some of these floating around but I wanted to take a whack at one! This is my first time attempting something like this so I’m a little nervous. But! Here ya go!
General rules outside the actual generational rules
Housing cheats are allowed (Except for sagittarius) Just don’t go crazy
I would stay away from money cheats
I would also avoid occult except for pisces and mermaids, since that’s a rule. But you certainly don’t have to avoid the occult- It just tends to make things more complicated.
Uhhhh- I dunno! Have fun!
(Did I make this bc I, a libra, had a problem with other libra gens in other zodiac legacies….Maybe. But y’all can’t prove anything.)
Gen 1- Pisces
We start our legacy with the sign of the two fish, pisces. Actually known as the oldest of the zodiac, it makes sense that we begin here. Pisces people are known for being emotionally sensitive, gracious, and emotionally aware. Pisces characters are regarded for being among the most sympathetic of the zodiac signs, and they will go to great lengths to ensure the happiness of those around them. They're also creative and imaginative.
Basically, you’re a really nice, creative person but you’re also really indecisive and that can end up hurting people.
Traits
Creative, good, noncommittal
Career
Master of the real
Aspiration: Angling ace
Must master the fishing, painting, and charisma skills
Must live near a lake or ocean
You can’t marry the first sim you get into a relationship with
Must have a baby with a mermaid (But you do not have to marry this person- Island living required. If you don’t have this pack- Skip this!)
Colors: Light green, seafoam green, aquamarine
Gen 2 - Aquarius
Your mother instilled within you a deep love for the ocean and a respect for all it’s creatures- Little did you know that you were one of them! When you became a teenager, your whole life was turned upside down when you got into the tub and sprouted a tail. You bagered your mother for information and started worrying about what this meant for the future with the rise of pollution in the water. In general you have a hard time seeing what’s good about being a fish person, but you’ll do what you can to help yourself and the other denizens of the sea survive.
Aquarius people are advanced, self-reliant, clever but tend to be pessimistic and see the worst in all situations.
Traits- Genius, child of the ocean, gloomy
Career- Marine biologist
Aspiration- Master maker
Must master the logic and fabrication skills
Must live in Sulani
You’re too focused on saving the planet to spend too much time with your child
Colors- Dark blue, dark purple, bright green
Gen 3 - Capricorn
Your mother was always so busy saving the planet that you were raised mostly by your other parent. They were a good caretaker, but you still had to do a lot of things on your own, due to both your parents having to work. Because of this, your other parent focused on fun things which led you to basically raising yourself. When you became a teenager, you became the person in charge of the household budget and you tend to chastise your parents when they spend frivolously. You are hard-working, career driven and far too serious for your own good.
Capricorns are the ultimate worker bees; they're ambitious, organized, practical, goal-oriented, and they don't mind the hustle.
Traits- Ambitious, neat, proper
Career: Business
Aspiration: Fabulously wealthy
Have basically no relationship with your mother
Must save as much money as possible
Very work oriented, much like the previous gen
Must be a strict parent
Colors: Brown and grey
Gen 4 - Sagittarius
Deep down, you know your mother loves you, but she sure had a funny way of showing it. She wanted you to be successful but you wanted to be free! Sure you might strike out but you should be given the chance to do that- That’s how you really learn, after all! Your mother wanted you to stay in and study but you love sports way too much to do that. She always scolded you for skinned knees and dirt stains but that’s just part of being a kid! Once it got to be too much so you decided to go and make it on your own- Freedom is yours at last!
A Sagittarius values independence and the ability to do what they want, when they want, above all else. They are adventurers, risk-takers, and have a sharp business and sports mentality
Traits- Goofball, outgoing, adventurous (Snowy adventure ep- if you don’t have it choose athletic)
Career: Professional athlete
Aspiration: Extreme sports enthusiast or bodybuilder
Must max charisma and fitness skill (Also the ones from snowy adventure if you have it)
Must run away as a teen
Must struggle financially afterwards
Must always accept invites
Make at least 3 good friends
Colors- Purples
Gen 5- Scorpio
Did you have a lot growing up? No, not really. But your parents were fun! They were loving and made everyday an adventure. You would do anything for your parents. Anything. So, as a teen, you begin to steal what you can- To provide a little extra money for your parents to live on. They deserve the best! Your loyalty to them could get you in trouble, but you don’t care. You’re ready to take on the world if it means a better life for those you love.
Scorpios are mysterious because they are profound thinkers, secretive, passionate, and constantly a step away from the public
Traits- Ambitious,loner, kleptomaniac
Career- Criminal
Aspiration- Public enemy
-Must max mischief, mixology, and parenting skills
- Can only give stolen items as gifts
- Must be a good parent, despite your criminal background
Colors- black, grey, red
Gen 6- Libra
Your mother’s wild life and constant problems with the law really influenced you early on. You wanted to know if you could help her- Because even if you didn’t agree with her methods of making money, you always appreciated her devotion to you and the rest of your family. You have a strong sense of justice but being a police officer doesn’t suit your desire for peace- What would? Why, being a judge! Your kind and easy going nature combined with a charm, wit, and ability to tell it like it is- Law should be a cinch! Now if only your love life wasn’t so complicated...
Librans are extroverted, cosy, and friendly people. Librans, like the Scales that symbolise the sign, are often concerned with attaining balance, harmony, peace, and justice in the world
Traits- Outgoing, bookworm, flirty
Career- Lawyer (I think this comes with discover university. If you don’t have that ep then go with police officer or business)
Aspiration- Serial romantic
Must max charisma, persuasion, research and debate skills
Have a variety of relationships
If you have discover university I recommend doing that as well to give this sim the full experience
Colors- Light blue and light pink
Gen 7- Virgo
Your mother’s strong sense of justice had a positive influence on you growing up- She always encouraged your good behavior and you wanted to be a mother just like her when you grew up. Unfortunately, you had some problems with how messy her love life was- For such a kind and just woman, she sure did have a lot of romantic partners. You found it exhausting, frankly. You tend to overthink everything and are a bit of a clean freak- If your space becomes too messy you will get incredibly stressed. Your mother has found you on occasion stress cleaning the entire house.
Virgos are humble, self-effacing, industrious, and practical, but under the surface, they are frequently natural, kind, and sympathetic
Traits- Neat, unflirty, good
Career- Education (if you have the discover university ep. Doctor or chef if you dont)
Aspiration- Super parent
Must not woohoo (bc virgo= virgin. Lol i’m so original)
Can only gain children through adoption
Must have at least more than one child
Must master parenting, cooking, and gourmet cooking skills
Must spend most if not all freetime with your children
Colors- Light brown, greens
Gen 8- Leo
A natural born leader, you are truly made of star stuff! Your mother made it clear that you could chase your dreams and the rest of the world would follow. That made all the difference growing up- As a kid who came from nothing to a global superstar- It was just the kind of story the people loved! Nothing is going to stop you from becoming famous and successful!
Compassion and big-heartedness, consciousness, drive, and natural leadership are the four main characteristics of the Leo personality. Leos are known for their generosity of time, energy, respect, and money
Traits- Outgoing, high maintenance, ambitious
Career- Famous actress (If you have the get famous ep. Politician if you don’t)
Aspiration- Leader of the pack
Must master acting, charisma, comedy, and at least one instrument
Have to host at least 3 parties
Must live in a mansion
Colors- Orange, black, gold
Gen 9- Cancer
Your mother’s opulent lifestyle was always a bit much in your opinion. You preferred a quieter life, reading books or making crafts. All you want is a modest home, a loving spouse, and a couple of kids. No need or want from anything else! A simple, quiet life.
There are many good and bad Cancer traits. On the good side, the Cancer personality is loyal, protective, intuitive, and caring. On the bad side, Cancers are overly sensitive, moody, and vindictive
Traits- maker, perfectionist, squeamish
Career- Stay at home mom- can only make money from crafts
Aspiration- Big happy family
-Must master parenting, homestyle cooking, and at least one craft (Knitting, cross stitch, flower arranging, ect)
- Must marry a high school sweetheart
-Must have twins
Colors- White, silver, blue
Gen 10- Gemini
You and your twin always did everything together. Built in best friend! Sure, you may be opposites in some ways, but you would do anything for each other!
Okay- So only one gets to be the heir and they both have different, opposite traits and goals. Pick whichever you like best to carry on the legacy
Twin 1
Traits- Outgoing, dance machine, childish
Career- Detective
Aspiration- Friend of the world
Must max singing, dancing, handiness, and fitness skill
Must live in a city
Must do karaoke on a regular basis
Twin 2
Traits- Loner, bookworm, clumsy
Career- Any
Aspiration- Renaissance sim
Must max logic, writing, and photography
Must live in a suburb or in the countryside
Must have straight a’s while in school
Colors- Yellow and purple
Gen 11- Taurus
(if you went with twin 1) Your mother’s ambition, drive, and perseverance were to be admired, but her life with law enforcement was less favorable. She was in constant danger and you woke up everyday wondering if she got hurt on assignment. You decided that was no way to live- When you could, you got up and left the city forever, opting to live out in a rural community- Wide open spaces and fresh air abound. You could get used to the simple life.
(If you went with twin 2) Your mother always encouraged you to follow whatever path seemed right. You always enjoyed the quiet life you had but your mother’s job hopping was quite stressful at times. You opted to go even simpler- Just enjoying your life with your little farm and healthy appetite.
Tauruses have a regal quality about them. They are graceful and diligent laborers. They can be stubborn, bull-headed, and set in their ways, but they are also great listeners and very dependable.
Traits- Loves the outdoors, foodie, animal enthusiast (if you have cottage living ep. If not use glutton or neat)
Career- Chef
Aspiration- Outdoor enthusiast or Master chef
Must max gardening, homestyle cooking, gourmet cooking, and baking skills
Must live on a farm (if you have the cottage living ep) Or just a very well maintained garden
Must make all your own food. No delivery or going out
Colors- Green, pink, and white
Gen 12- Aries
The last, youngest member of the zodiac!
Your mom was great and her food was the best, but her life was so quiet- You need some excitement! You need to move and to be around people- Not just animals! You want to see the whole world! You’ll settle down someday- But for now you’re free and ready to take on anything!
Aries are spontaneous and courageous. They have a sense of adventure and love to explore. They're determined and bold, and are good at initiating new projects.
Traits- Athletic, hot-headed, bro
Career- Professional athlete
Aspiration- Bodybuilder
Must live in at least 2 different worlds
Must explore all hidden lots
Must master fitness, wellness, and handiness skills
Color: Red
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Hello! Here’s my submission for @50yearsofqueen’s event. Posted nearing midnight for the drama. It’s a Doctor Who crossover that doesn’t really have much to do with the franchise other than in concept. It’s a very complex show, but canon’s already constantly challenged so I might as well challenge it even more. Thanks to my partner @bananavarina who made the art for this chapter and other chapters to come. Special thanks to @anne-white-star for helping me with the concept. Hope y’all enjoy!
———————————————
Humans succumb rather easily to trickery. After all, an unfortunate amount of them lead such jaded lives to the point they gradually lose the ability of thinking outside the box. This particular box is all these humans have ever known, yet, still, it serves as a case study in the development of claustrophobia. It’s stuck moving at a steady pace in a singular direction: forward. No turning back, no jumping ahead. Worst of all, the box never takes you anywhere. You need gasoline for that and gasoline, as you may well know, is expensive.
And if you don’t prefer a cheaper alternative for transportation, you’re either very well off or there’s something terribly wrong with you.
Thus, when presented with a different box, a time-traveling, space-hopping one which happens to accommodate much bigger dimensions on the inside, humans are easily fooled into stepping right in, putting aside all reasonable caution.
It’s for this reason that The Doctor recruits folks aboard his TARDIS with relative ease. It’s an art form he has nearly mastered, effectively trapping starry-eyed wanderers under the guise of adventure into a lifetime’s worth of the terror they least expect upon boarding. This terror had plagued dozens of Earthlings whose narrow understanding of space and time rendered them rather clueless as to how they might defeat it. This entity was, as brave Jamie McCrimmon ever so rudely proclaimed, a threat less comprehensible than Cybermen. This threat was unwanted exposition.
(Which is more commonly referred to as rambling.)
Countless humans have fondly (and exasperatedly, as certified human, Tegan Jovanka may attest) listened to The Doctor ramble for hours on end. It was a familiar dynamic, one The Doctor found comfort in. Perhaps, most of his companions never truly understood what he would be rambling on about, but it was, and still is, part of their exchange. The Doctor finds joy in showing such excitement, such beauty and wonder, to his friends. In return, his friends put the fun in his travels and gawk, accordingly, to all that they witness.
The Doctor always expected his companions to marvel in the sights and let him ramble on and on from topic to topic. What he didn’t expect was for them to stop marveling and start rambling back.
-
“Your mama loved scarves. They were all she had managed to pack from home when she was taken here.”
Brian slipped on his rubber footwear, his feet secured by tiny pieces of braided cloth cut from a scarf threaded through unevenly punctured holes. Haru had called them flip flops although he wasn’t quite sure whether it was a name he’d invented to cheer him up when he was little (like when he used to call lightbulbs fireflies) or if it happened to be the effect of inherent human silliness, thus making it the correct term.
“This is your papa’s favorite pair of pants. Your mama doodled stars and planets on it for his birthday. He loved them as he loved her...you love them too, don’t you?”
He pulled the pants up and fastened it with a belt. It was rather long and baggy for a ten-year-old. Still, Brian tried to make it work, bunching up the cloth and standing as tall as he could. He wondered if his father was out there, unaware of the existence of a son, finally home among the stars drawn daintily across his trousers.
“We all had to wear long sleeved shirts back in the metropolis. I wore green. He wore white.”
Brian put one on accordingly. The sleeves flopped and swallowed his arms as the shirt engulfed his skinny frame.
“Your mama had sewn him a vest. He wasn’t particularly fond of vests but he was very fond of your mama.”
He put on the black vest
Little Brian stared at the mirror in front of him, unsure what to feel. He felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, yet he wasn’t quite sure if it were right to mourn for something he’d never known.
“Bri?”
Brian looked up to find Haru standing at the doorway. His face was blank, yet a storm seemed to brew in his eyes. Perhaps, he was upset that the child he’d loved and raised as if he were his own was wearing the painful reminder of his friends long gone. Or, perhaps, he was disheartened that said child wasn’t satisfied enough with his care to stop yearning for his parents’ presence. Perhaps, he was neither of those. Perhaps, he was angry.
Brian hoped he was angry.
A moment of silence passed between them. Then another. Brian had read about moments like this in fictional Earthling books. He was steeling himself for those angry outbursts he always read about. Haru rarely got upset, yet Ian had never messed up this terribly before. So he braced himself…
Only to be engulfed in a bone crushing hug.
Brian quickly hugged Haru back as the latter trembled. He felt the pitter patter of tears falling on his shoulder and for the first time in his life, he felt the crushing weight of loss.
“You deserve to know your father,” Haru croaked as he regained his composure. Brian merely buried his face in his shoulder as he finally let his own tears flow.
“I already do, Dad.”
—————————-
“Doctor, your library’s collection of medical books is incomplete,” proclaimed Brian, a young man clad in white, signifying his status as an esteemed astronaut of Planet Rhye.
The Doctor gasped theatrically, startling Deacy, a man from 21st century Leicester, younger and less knowledgeable than Brian, yet seemingly much wiser. He’d been tinkering with a malfunctioning lever for about an hour now.
The Doctor merely smiled in apology to which Deacy responded with a fond shake of his head.
“Oh the TARDIS hasn’t been fixed yet?,” Brian inquired as he sank into a lavish red sofa situated in the console room.
“Not to my knowledge, no,” Deacy replied.
The Doctor laughed.
“Cheeky now, aren’t we?”
“Well, I deserve to be cheeky. After all it wasn’t me who busted the wiring in the butterfly room for a photoshoot.”
The Doctor scoffed as Brian let out a snort of his own.
“I’ll have you know, darling, that we’re perfectly safe and untarnished. I managed to avert the crisis by rearranging the wires before anyone could get hurt.”
“Did you, now?,” Deacy asked, his confusion evident.
“Of course I did!”
“Then how come the wires here are all mismatched and tangled up?”
A sudden silence swept across the room.
“Oh! You managed to rearrange them well enough for the TARDIS not to combust but they still weren’t in the correct order because based on the times we were on Itakam and the time we went to Roman occupied Greece, you’re no good at technical repairs,” Brian piped up, rather satisfied with himself. Deacy chuckled as The Doctor gaped at his lack of tact.
“Brian...do tell me about the library,” The Doctor muttered, as Deacy amusedly returned to his work.
“I’ve searched high and low in every single shelf of your library and found references to every single medical lung condition I’ve read of back home. They were all there...except for one.”
“Well, that’s silly, darling! The book dealer had been very sincere. I couldn’t have been tricked!”
“Perhaps, you’d simply been gullible?,” Roger suggested as he entered the room. He was exceptionally beautiful with no trace of wrinkles, pores, or even a philtrum. His skin was smooth as silk save for a pair of gills which rested on either side of his neck. He sat next to Brian and plopped his feet on the former’s lap. It was no secret that this Doctor, unlike the last two of his incarnations, was reserved around strangers. That being said, soaked up every last trace of physical affection from his friends like a sponge. Yet, even he chuckled at the display of such disregard for human manners.
Brian was human. However he’d been raised far from Earth, isolated from society with no one but Dad for company. Etiquette was unimportant in his little world and Dad hadn’t known enough about human custom to teach him anything of substance. Brian hadn’t known touch for years and he embraced, quite literally, its sudden return in the form of team cuddles. It seems rather funny, doesn’t it? That there are things you never realize you lost until you find it and cherish it once more? Ian seemed to believe so.
Roger was a fish.
“That’s impossible, for how all that pretentiousness my sixth face had, he simply wasn’t one to be tricked.”
“I beg to differ,” Roger countered. “I’ve met him. You’re absolutely rubbish at spaceship maintenance, I give you that. But you’re actually quite clever...very creative even. He was witty and creative too, but he wasn’t clever. He was mostly a bumbling fool.”
The Doctor didn’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.
“What medical condition were you looking for anyway?,” Deacy inquired as he rolled up the sleeves of his turtleneck and took off his spliced button up.
“Hanahaki disease.”
At this, Roger quickly turned away from Brian, trying to hold in his laughter. The Doctor buried his smiling face in Deacy’s shoulder as the latter forcibly schooled his expression into one of nonchalance. He was well aware that Hanahaki disease was fictional, after all, his girlfriend, Ronnie used to write fiction in her spare time and he’d be the beta reader. He nodded politely, as Brian happily hummed a little tune, oblivious to his friends’ antics.
You know you’ve got a terrible grasp on human custom when even a fish is more culturally aware than you.
“Well, either way,” Brian piped up, still blissfully unaware, “your collection’s incomplete. Maybe we should go look for the missing volume after Deacy repairs the console?”
“I reckon we need another adventure,” Roger agreed as he set his legs on the floor and yanked The Doctor towards the couch. Brian scooted closer, letting his head rest on Roger’s shoulder as The Doctor climbed in and rested his upper body on his companions’ laps.
“I’m afraid we’ll be stranded here for a little while,” Deacy remarked.
“Then what are you waiting for?,” Brian asked as he beckoned Deacy over to the couch. The latter smiled as he joined in what he believed to be the best part of traveling with The Doctor: cuddle piles.
—————————————-
“Are we gonna tell him…?”
“No!”
“How dare you?! I invited you onboard expecting a starry-eyed audience to gawk at everything I do but instead I got someone who seems to know my TARDIS better than me!”
“There’s no point in complaining about free maintenance.”
“You’re one to talk, fishman. There’s no point in bringing you along with me to witness the universe if you’ve already seen it all!”
“Yet you still keep us around.”
“...I suppose I do. Now wipe those smug looks off your faces. We’re going to 2012. Just to appease him.”
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Blurr for the character ask thing? (btw i rlly like reading ur thoughts on em!! real cool stuff)
op come off of Anon so I can give u big kissy I’m begging u/j seriously tho oh my god that’s like the best compliment u could ever give me ever I love talking about my interests and when other people enjoy it, it just makes it even better! I’ll gladly do Velocity for ya!!! I simp for this man tho be warned.
First impression
okay so back when I was watching Prime, funnily enough, I found a TFA Sh*ckblurr fanfic and read it, but I had no idea who tf Blurr was so technically my first impression was that he was some oc/self insert.
But I doubt that’s the answer u want so I will say right off the bat I loved him and hated it because I very much knew he would die. I also was hardcore into the idea of Bee falling in love with this fucking,,, blue car the first time it saved him not knowing it was a person because that’d be fucking hilarious.
Impression now
I love him so fucking much he is an absolute fave of mine. I love how strict n angry he is when Bee fucking disrespects him and I feel like he would look him in the eye and call him a dumb fucking bottom.
he’s probably one of the only sensible bots in the elite guard and I love that he’s smart and also talks so fucking weird at the same time. The fucking way that he says “Which while technically accurate lacks a certain creativity.” And the noise he makes when Shockwave attacks him ugh I Want to Marry Him.
Favorite moment
WHEN HE RAN ACROSS THE GALAXY TO GET TO CYBERTRON? I FELL IN L O VE. Seeing that scene unironically makes me Simp hard for Blurr. seeing his drive and determination and How fucking Cool he is. It’s so so good, just the perfect way to show off his entire character. Getting irritated at the Starscream clones and scolding them angrily and then being an absolute badass as he gets away? Not to be gay but dkfljcwhmlfiunw34hf89nhe98rghecufcyg8edffadsf I love Him,
When I think of Blurr I think of that sequence and I wish more people did tbh.
Idea for a story
KINDA ENEMIES TO LOVERS BLURRBEE FANFIC WHEN? Okay I love the fluff there is of these two but the idea of an au where Blurr stays with the crew sounds amazing because I think Bee would absolutely Hate it. How Dare Blurr be a faster twink than he is Bee is constantly back talking Blurr n being rude n sassy to him while Blurr is getting tired of this short ass twink He is trying to do important Elite Guard stuff and does Not need this sass!
But eventually, Blurr does smth kickass and Bee is like ‘oh no I’m in love’ But now that he has,,, been being an ass to Blurr for so long he had no idea how to deal with this change in events, and when he starts being more of his usual self and being nice to Blurr, Blurr is like ‘oh no I’m in love’ but still thinks Bee does not like him that much so he doesn’t know how to deal with this change in events.
Unpopular opinion
I Will never understand why 80% of the fandom portrays him they way they do. Blurr may not be super graceful or talk in a normal way but he is pretty fucking clever, he was the one who figured out how to get out of mixmaster’s concrete.
To me he is a strict but caring mech who really does want to do the best for Cybertron and will stop at nothing to do it. He ran across the galaxy for the people he wants to protect and fought till the end he is anything but nervous baby UwU. And no amount of that weird-ass brainwashing or manipulating Shockwave does in any of those fanfics would stop him.
When Longarm attacked him out of nowhere Blurr made a point of not freezing up, he may have freaked out who wouldn’t but he didn’t let himself get caught even in the midst of figuring out what was going on. This mech knows what he’s doing.
Also, Sh*ckblurr makes no sense to me,,, unless Shockwave renounced being a con or proved he didn’t want to hurt people and wasn’t a threat to Cybertron I’m pretty sure Blurr would obliterate him instantly given the chance.
He can be kind of an ass too and like, that’s okay ur faves can,,, not always be super nice soft boys I like Blurr being a bit of an ass. That’s just a fun character flaw y’all.
Favorite relationship
Him and Bee’s bickering was really cute and funny to see and the thing in the manga where they take down Lugnut and Blitzwing is amazing I cannot express how cute it is to see them merrily whistling away <3
Wish we had seen more of it but oh well... It gives me all the fuel I need to think about them on a daily basis so really where’s the loss?
Favorite headcanon
Blurr’s handwriting is fucking chicken scratch, Longarm and Cliff have just resorted to forcing him to let other people write out his reports for him even though Blurr insists he can read it just fine...
Also he was a cadet around the same time Longarm Bee Wasp n Ironhide were and he was an absolute show off, so the other cadets all hated him. Bc of that for a while he was just an errand bot in the Elite guard mostly delivering stuff from place to place which humbled him and mellowed him out a bit to be the Intel Agent we know now, and now he is super embarrassed by his younger self’s behavior. <3
#tfa blurr#tfa#transformers animated#blurr#transformers#maccadam#whirly speaks#whirlyspeaks#blurrbee#Anon#WhirlySpeaks#I warned u I simp for this man#also know I am super bias bc I do simp for him this is just My thoughts Im not trying to shit over anyone else's#Character analysis is simply my passion <3#my thoughts
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here’s why Thieves in Time is a bad game
before y’all try it, i just want to say that i’ll be as unapologetically petty and sarcastic as i want and fucking rip this game to shreds. yes, this is how i’ve spent my days since Thieves in Time came out. sitting alone in my room, staring at the wall, crying and complaining. because it has since been my life’s aim and dream to think about it every day, state the negative things about it, and become an evil essay witch on this half-dead website. *evil laugh*
Story:
References: i want to start with the smallest problem, but one that annoys me to this day. in the original trilogy, there weren’t a lot of references but the ones that were included were meticulously researched and well thought-out (i’m specifically referring to that Neil Diamond Carmelita vinyl gag, but can’t find the original post). the references in Thieves in Time however, were obviously just the creators’ interests. Turning Japanese, Clan of the Cave Bear and Bentley’s “hacksona” presented as Rambo just scream 1980s (which i’m assuming is the decade the creators grew up in), and Of Mice and Men is classic literature about the Great Depression, which subsequently started being taught in school in the US during the 1980s. it feels like the creators just went ‘let’s discuss what our lives had in common during our teen years and put that in’ instead of researching it first. and, here’s the thing: when you’re adding references, in order to make them funny or interesting, they have to fit in with the property or the character that’s connected to them in some way. Don Octavio was an opera aficionado so his episode’s title card pays homage to the Phantom of the Opera, young Muggshot was influenced by the movie “The Dogfather” because he’s a gangster, etc. these were funny because they were so spot-on with these characters. if every character in the Sly Cooper universe references the same type of stuff (from the 1980s) and shares the same interests, it’s just claustrophobic and uninteresting. i’m pretty sure i’m not the only one who had to look up these ultra-hetero, scrotum references when the game came out. that’s because they were specifically tailored to be funny to them, and not their target demographic which were kids in 2013.
Narrative: now that we got that out of the way, let’s look at the narrative. at the end of Sly 3, Bentley says he’s building a time machine. Sanzaru took that joke and decided to run with it as the premise for their game. ok, not the best idea, but i get it - you’re literally picking up where the last game left off. since all the storylines were wrapped up, they could’ve done something different like Sly’s kids or Bentley and Murray’s families, but this isn’t an essay about suggestions so...... time travel (i want to say that it’s, again, an 80s reference but whatever) was pretty ‘out there’ in 2013. i mean, even Plants vs Zombies 2, which was released that year, had to do with time travel (yes, i’m referencing an app). but Sanzaru had the advantage of applying this premise onto already established mythos and lore. the story had definite potential: someone is threatening Sly’s lineage so he has to travel back in time to save the day. the player would get to explore new locations and iconic eras in history, and, of course, the main selling point: playable ancestors. how could you screw that up? welp.... let’s think about the plot holes here for a sec. Bentley’s device would take the gang back in time when given an item from the specific era. stop. this right here is called ‘over-complicating’. how did they know the items would take them directly to the point where the specific ancestor was in danger? the Feudal Japan period lasted for 700 years: how did the machine know when and where to drop them off? and if the gang could return to the present at any time, why didn’t they do so when they were in trouble? oh right, the machine was broken. so how did they return the baddies to the present after they defeated them? i mean, why did they use the Grizz’s crown to travel to Medieval England if they went back to the present to drop him off to Interpol first? and on that note, how did they drop the baddies off to jail without getting caught and without Carmelita being around? i can already hear you thinking but these are total details that aren’t important, you jerk! well, yea, they truly are details and i truly am overthinking it. and yes, i truly am a jerk. but let me tell you something: when Sanzaru chose to make a new Sly game, did they not think ‘oh we’ll have to follow up Sly 2 and Sly 3′s stories’ which were well thought-out narratives with depth and various themes and didn’t have huge plot holes (as seen by my analysis through the episode project) ???? and did they also not think that their game would come out eight years after the last one, having expectations at an all-time high???? yea, that’s what i thought.
Characters: i’ll make a different section for Sucker Punch’s characters, so this is for Sanzaru’s original ones. name one iconic original character from Thieves in Time. i’ll wait... nope. not one. that’s because all of them were absolute shit. and here’s where i want to touch upon Sanzaru’s over-reliance on the trilogy. Ms Decibel (perhaps the most obvious copy) is a mix between Don Octavio, Miz Ruby, and the Contessa. El Jefe is Rajan if he went to the gym. Toothpick has Sir Raleigh’s temper and tendency to grow in size. and the Grizz is... whatever the fuck he is. (don’t worry i didn’t forget Le Paradox and Bob). there’s a difference between studying & creating similar characters and blatantly plagiarizing older characters because you lack the creativity. oh, boo-hoo this evil jerk’s telling it how it is. this set of villains is so lacklustre, i don’t even know where to begin. El Jefe is a tiger, even though we’ve already had two major tiger villains and one tiger flashlight guard. ok. Rajan could summon lightning because of the Clockwerk heart but El Jefe can do the same, how exactly? Toothpick is an armadillo (good) from Russia (better) with an obsession with the West (excellent) who can also grow huge (very bad). it’s never explained how or why. why?????? just tell me why. i want to know. i really want to know. Ms Decibel is an elephant who got into a tragic accident which left her with the power of hypnosis. music and hypnosis have already been done, but ok, i’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. so how do we use this character? spend the entirety of her screen time making jokes about... wait for it... her weight !!! this is top-notch comedy... really? like... really? the creators’ humor is a crime, at best. fart jokes and fat jokes all around. oh, and then there’s the Grizz. what the fuck where they thinking? just, what the fuck. i guess the guys at Sanzaru thought black people speak in rap? is that it? apart from it being extremely offensive, it’s also a blatant copy of Dimitri’s backstory. like, his introductory cutscene even has his paintings thrown at him and into the trash, like the intro cutscene for The Black Chateau. honestly, all of these villains caused me several types of pain, but not as much as...
Bob & Le Paradox: the absolute worst. i can just imagine the meeting going something like this: Sly’s ancestors are awesome! i wish we could fit them all in the game... here’s an amazing idea! what if we use one of the game’s few levels to introduce a brand new ancestor! yea! let’s make him dumb as fuck, strip him of any athletic prowess, and retcon the entire lineage by having him be the first Cooper ever! the kids will love a prehistoric level! ..... could you kindly point out where and when did ANYONE ask for this? i remember @ironicsnap saying something like the game is good until Bob. no, it was already bad - Bob just lowered the standard. like, a lot. people love Murray and his gameplay is neat, but no one ever thought ‘oh i wish we had a Cooper character with Murray’s game style’. why would they waste the opportunity to bring in Henriette, Thaddeus, Otto, literally any ancestor? why??? but they went ahead and created their own Cooper, and that wasn’t even the end of it. they had to make him dumb. they had to make him unbearable. they had to ruin the Cooper ancestry by adding this mess to the lineage. Sucker Punch made sure that all the ancestors were unique, but at the same time made all of them suave and funny and slick and you wish you could be them! well, fuck that. also, his name is Bob. Bob Cooper. it’s been 7 fucking years and i still can’t wrap my head around it.... so now, let’s talk about Le Paradox. i don’t have to mention the previous main villains, but i will. Clockwerk killed Sly’s ancestors and father, and was seemingly an eternal threat. Neyla was a psychopath who fooled everyone on her journey to becoming immortal by resurrecting Clockwerk. Dr M opened up the possibility for Sly’s dad to be a jerk instead of a hero, and died trying to unlock the Coopers’ legacy. how does Le Paradox compare? well, he’s a sleazebag skunk who was mad because of his dad’s downfall to the Coopers. that’s it. no twist, no depth, no clever dialogue. nothing. there’s nothing there. this is a new character, unfamiliar to everyone, who was hyped up for 5 levels and defeated in the conclusion. why was he a match for Sly? i don’t know. how did he fight for his life and ultimately tricked Sly into helping him? i don’t know. how the hell did he kidnap Carmelita? i don’t know. was it the power of persuasion? no, he’s revolting. so i literally don’t know. there’s no backstory, no fleshing-out the character, nothing. all we’re given to work with is a brief info-dump about his dad and how he escaped prison. i don’t know what else to say apart from how big a humiliation this was for Sanzaru and their team of writers. you had 8 years to work on something and this is what you came up with? anything would be better. anything would best this utter cliché of a villain, a distasteful misogynist, crybaby, idiot with an accent. literally anything.
Arcs & Themes: let’s take a look at the formulaic subplots for the gang’s members. apart from dealing with Le Paradox, everyone had a small arc. Sly had to deal with his break-up with Carmelita. Bentley had to deal with his break-up with Penelope. Murray had to deal with playing second fiddle to Bob. Carmelita was a damsel in distress and sex bait for the ancestors. the ancestors had their own mini storylines along with reacting to Sly’s presence. there you have it. i summarised it all for you, nice and neatly. are there any themes like in the previous games? nope. i promise you i’m not lying when i say that i tried hard to come up with something, even some speck of a detail i could use to over-analyse the story and come up with some ideas on themes. nothing. there are no themes. the subplots are character-driven and the player gives it 0 emotional investment. there is nothing to analyse, nothing to talk about. maybe even a theme for each level, like a spooky level or something? nope. the levels are dependent on eras and historical periods. the variation here is ok. Feudal Japan, Wild West, Prehistoric Australia, Medieval England and Ancient Arabia - pretty good selection. i’ll give them credit for it. but that’s it. due to the absence of themes, the hubs feel empty. there’s no replayability factor. after you collect the bottles and masks and treasures, there’s nothing. i would spend hours revisiting the trilogy’s hubs, just roaming around. the hubs here are huge and empty. there’s nothing to reminisce about. nothing to recall. oh that’s where this mission went down. no, nothing like that. the aforementioned subplots are resolved during mission cutscenes and then they’re gone. you don’t have to explore spooky Prague alone as Bentley to have him overcome his fears, you don’t have to find out miners abducted Murray’s beloved Guru and search the Australian outback for him, you don’t have to hold back your tears when you’ve reached the end of the Cooper Vault and Sly asks his dad for help. nothing.
Gameplay:
Controls: as soon as i laid my hands on the controller the first time i played the game, that fateful afternoon, i knew something was up. Sly would respond 1 second late after you pushed something on the controller. it felt clunky, is what i’m trying to say or, as my sister put it, it felt heavy. and she was right. the controls were clunky and heavy and didn’t feel light, like playing as a thief should feel. i don’t know shit about game mechanics but this definitely didn’t feel right. the hubs are also chunky in design, the cliffs are huge and so cyclical or hexagonal, that when you parachute your way to them and are just an inch close, Sly will automatically just drop because he can’t grab onto them. running as Sly doesn’t feel fast, silently obliterating guards from behind feels slow, and swinging, grabbing, pickpocketting, and hanging aren’t fun anymore. presentation-wise, @designraccoon goes into detail here, in an absolute gem of a post. in short, the gameplay animations make Sly look less sneaky. Sanzaru didn’t even consider a thief’s movements.
Missions: why the fuck would you remove the player’s option to choose between which mission to do first? why would you do that? the game lays out what goes first, sometimes having only one mission available in the hub. and the missions aren’t even enjoyable. firstly, the loading screens take up to 5 minutes, maybe even 7-8. secondly, there’s hacking every 2 missions. the missions don’t have any dialogue to make them fun, lack in interesting puzzles, what more can i say? they’re overly easy and lack any challenge whatsoever. at least there’s variation in gameplay (hacking, RC car, fishing, costumes, ancestors, turret etc.) but because of the controls, even these get tiresome. the missions are solely there to progress the story and that’s why the operations are merely ‘storm the main baddie’. the trilogy had some pretty interesting missions which made sure to complete jobs required to take down the big bad. e.g. kidnap General Clawfoot to take down the security, hack Contessa’s computer to make sure Carmelita will be freed, steal voices to tempt Neyla, and then take down the Contessa. the missions in Thieves in Time lack substance and variety. and the hacking (all three styles) sucks.
Collectibles: here’s another fantastic idea: have players collect costumes in order to collect bottles in order to collect treasures in order to collect masks in order to unlock funky Sanzaru logo-themed merch! what was the reason for the collectibles? in previous games, collecting all bottles would unlock special abilities. that was it. it’s the same thing here too, but there’s less incentive? i mean when you have to collect 1000 things, what’s the point? the treasures are random and very few are references to the trilogy, so whatever. and the masks unlock... superhero costumes for what reason exactly? oh, and then there’s also the achievements for your Playstation account, like ‘open the map in every single location you visit’. what fun! if the reason for collecting the treasures is to play godawful hacking minigames in order to get masks, what’s the point? decorate your paraglider with the Sanzaru logo? or have Bentley dress up as discount Robocop? i mean including masks in the interior locations was cool, but the bottles were always supposed to be something you could do whenever your soul desired. sometimes i left them last before the operation, sometimes i collected them before the first mission. so i was pissed when i found out that, in some cases, you had to unlock the episode’s costume in order to get the all the bottles. so, fuck off.
Animation: i’ll keep this short. the animation was terrible. do you remember that tumblr blog from a while back, where she dedicated the posts to pointing out the mistakes in the animated cutscenes? yeah. point is, there were lots of them. the animation style was bad, the character design was ugly, the characters’ movements were unnatural. everything about it was shit. looking past the bad decision to drop the trilogy’s comicbook-style animated cutscenes, couldn’t they have hired someone better? someone with more experience? their concept art was awesome. couldn’t they hire that guy and have it be comicbook style if he wasn’t trained in animation?
Legacy:
The Players: let me ask a genuine question: who was this game made for? kids growing up in 2013? maybe so. because it feels like Sanzaru didn’t even consider the fans of the trilogy. actually, it felt like a huge fuck you. Sucker Punch made their trilogy for whoever. there were great stuff for kids, but adults would pick up and appreciate the references, the real-life setting (e.g. tobacco use, existence of nightclubs, spice instead of drugs, etc.). that’s why all three games are timeless classics. judging by Thieves in Time’s humor, the game wasn’t targeted for adults. so, it doesn’t make sense to use an already established property, beloved by its fans, to attract a new audience consisting of nine year-olds who’d laugh at Murray dressing up as a woman. if they really wanted to appeal to the fans of the original, why retcon everything? why change who the first Cooper was? when the gang’s stranded in Saudi Arabia, why have Sly say ‘i couldn't remember a time since we've teamed up that we felt so defeated’? the gang’s been in way deeper shit before. why the ‘Sly’s dad vs Le Paradox’s dad’ deus ex machina? Sly’s dad wasn’t famous because of stealing the world’s largest diamond, what the fuck are you even talking about? do the guys at Sanzaru have such big egos and bravado that they needed to change the original games’ lore? were they so preoccupied with leaving their signature on a property which was never their own? i don’t know who needs to read this, but i’m stating FACTS.
Characters: now let’s talk about Sanzaru’s treatment of the Cooper gang and the ancestors (female characters will get their own section). why would you change the characters like that? if it wasn’t for the voice acting, i’d say this is a completely different Cooper gang. there’s no wise-cracking band of best friends, going on heists and being proud of their brotherhood and bond. all that is replaced with the formulaic story arcs for each member. the trilogy’s cutscenes and dialogues made sure to establish how Sly, Bentley and Murray have lived together since they met at the orphanage, play videogames all day and order chinese food and pizza and whatever. through missions and their adventures, they face obstacles they have to overcome as a gang, and when Sly 3 came around, their friendship was put to the ultimate test when they almost disbanded. Thieves in Time was too lazy to add to this. Sanzaru thought ‘oh the trilogy showed how they’re best friends so we might as well have them focus on their own stories separately’ and if this is truly the case then i ask again: who was this game made for? because new fans would never know how tight the gang was just by playing Thieves in Time. there’s a lack of genuine friendship moments. like, what happened when Sly came back after faking his amnesia? that’s completely ignored. where’s the witty banter? the ‘wizard & sitting duck’ type of jokes? nothing of the sort. what we get is fart jokes and Murray wanting to dress up as a woman. on that note, what was that all about? ok, have him dress up as a geisha to get in. fine. have El Jefe slap his ass, have him perform in a painfully lengthy dance sequence, have him dress like that during the rest of the episode, and then have him be persistent about getting the belly-dancing gig? the hell? Murray was always kinda goofy but this just feels kinda homophobic? it feels dragged out and unfunny. and then there’s the ancestors. i said it once before and i’ll say it again, Sanzaru deprived me of a buff Arab daddy Salim Al Kupar and gave us that elderly shit instead. all jokes aside, the redesigns were uninteresting. why take away Tennessee Kid’s facial hair and give it to Galleth? i legitimately think all the ancestors were boring. i mean, their gameplay was cool, especially Tennessee Kid’s guns, but in terms of character, they were just some dudes. did they believe that Sly was their descendant from the future? maybe. did they care? nope. they all had the same storyline of dealing with Sly’s arrival, flirting with Carmelita and getting their canes stolen. that was it. the fans waited for so long to get even a glimpse of the ancestors in action, and Sanzaru downplayed all of them. they reduced them to useless idiots too occupied with women and food, incapable of getting their canes back from stupid Le Paradox. and they didn’t even stick to the lore. no ma’am. let’s make Rioichi the inventor of sushi !! because that makes total sense and would defo fit in with the character and the property! why. just, why. you were handed the lore !!! you were given all this rich backstory and you threw it all away to replace it with trash !!! complete trash.
Changes & Inconsistency: i want to briefly mention some changes that pissed me off. where’s the laser glide move? it was an important turning point at the end of Sly 3, so why did they get rid of it? Sly is a master thief who’s traveling back in time, so you’d think they’d actually make him a master thief. also, the changes in the binocucom and Bentley’s slideshows in order to modernise them. if Sucker Punch managed to place the mission starting points at locations where the binocucom would show the objective clearly, so could Sanzaru. instead, they chose to have it be a moving camera, floating around the hub. and Bentley’s slideshows were absolute classics, opportunities to include gags and have Bentley show off in his own way. you just had to change it into a tablet, didn’t you. omg you’re still looking at small details like these? yes sweetie, i consider the details because i think they shape the game more than anything. if i didn’t consider the details, then my opinion on the game would be incomplete. when i praise the trilogy i don’t only look at story and gameplay. because i’m unbiased like that. here, i’d also like the mention Dimitri. what a fucking waste. you either include him in the game or you don’t. but don’t give me some half-baked shit on how he’s working for the gang back in present day. Dimitri staying home, waiting on the gang to call him in order for him to give them details on the villains. how does that even slightly resemble anything about Dimitri’s character? they didn’t even include his voice, some greasy sweet Raccoonus Doodus dialogue.
Female Characters: you know it’s all been leading up to this. this is the crux of the Thieves in Time hate. i don’t want to say the game is misogynistic so i’ll call it anti-feminist. why? just answer me. why? why did you have to disrespect Carmelita like that? right off the bat, they swapped the pants for the skirt. in what world does an active inspector who’s always on the scene wear a skirt? Carmelita now wears a skirt because her only role in the game is to be the love interest. Carmelita now wears bright red lipstick and has a new hairstyle, which would be ok if only it wasn’t Carmelita. Carmelita now plays up her inner sassy Latina because she’s pigeonholed into the ‘angry ex girlfriend’ role. they compartmentalised her, tried to sexualise her because she couldn’t possibly be one of the boys. nope. let’s take a respected woman, high in rank and as physically able as Sly, and turn her into a cliché, an angry ex girlfriend for comedic relief, strip her of her abilities and have her be kidnapped twice, have every exchange with her be about how attractive she is, have almost every male character in the game flirt with her, have her boyfriend be jealous of his own ancestors because they’re flirting with her in order to create purposeless love triangles, and then, after all that, dress her up as a belly dancer and distract some guards while the rest of the gang do the heavy lifting. that last one was really the nail on the coffin. did Bentley have other ways to enter that door? absolutely. so, what the fuck? why did i come back for a good Sly game 8 years later and receive a game where you have to shake your controller to have Carmelita shake her ass? why did they have the guards’ eyes pop like that? why did no one stop them? and it isn’t just Carmelita. it’s Penelope too. god forbid we have a female character who doesn’t have a waist smaller than my finger, and a voluptuous physique. why was the redesign so drastic? the story stuff is also nonsensical. why did she leave? wasn’t she happy with Bentley? i watched her speech about turning on the gang about a thousand times and it still doesn’t make any sense. like, i literally don’t understand. what was her motive? and why reverse her story of overcoming the Black Baron persona and the connotations of a meek woman hiding behind a man’s disguise? why repeat it, shamelessly? do the guys at Sanzaru only know women who have recently broken up? why does Carmelita, Penelope and Ms Decibel all go through break-ups during the game? why does Penelope go against Bentley before they even break up? why waste the opportunity to introduce a new, well-written villain and use it to repeat something already done? why???? no woman is safe from Sanzaru because Ms Decibel... boy, did i feel bad for her. apart from continuously reminding us that she’s haha fat!! she’s also presented as a blind lovefool. love? what a silly concept only women believe in! Ms Decibel had a crush on Le Paradox (for some reason i can’t even fathom) and for that she must pay by being utterly humiliated. and what do ALL women do when a guy breaks up with them? they get so angry! yikes, stay clear guys! ....why does Sanzaru hate female characters? i’m genuinely curious. i mean, what forced them to depict women like this? i’m sorry, i can’t take much more of this.
Ending: and how do you end a disappointment that came 8 years late and didn’t even have a sequel guaranteed? yeap, you guessed it! a cliffhanger. but not just any cliffhanger - a total fuck you to anyone and everyone. with a single move Sanzaru instantly screwed over the franchise. the fans, the creators, the characters, anyone looking to continue the series. everyone. WHY would you trap the protagonist in the past? WHY? did you feel defensive about something that wasn’t even yours and went ‘well you can continue the series but the sequel will have to do with time travel’. why did you think it was a good idea? how does it even slightly resemble a good ending? someone fill me in please. because i don’t think i’m being unreasonable, i’m just telling it how it is.
Conclusion:
i did it. i fucking wrote it in all its motherfucking glory. the idiots at Sanzaru could’ve given us an amazing game but instead of working on how to make it better or including extra levels, they wasted their time on deciding what killable baby animal to include in each hub or what the backstory for each treasure should be. how fucking distasteful. and to think i’m an idiot myself for trying to force myself to like it because i was so in denial about how bad it was. i’ve just outlined everything wrong with that cursed game. i’m exhausted.
#yOu'Re rEaLLy pEttY ! sOrRy hAd tO UnFoLLoW#i think i covered everything#THIS IS AN AMAZING ESSAY#this is the crown jewel of my time on tumblr#i love myself so much#sly cooper#anyone who even remotely comes for me because of this WILL get blocked#the birds really think i care about my rep on this fucking hellsite#HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
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Jake and Austin Deraaff
https://www.jayconner.com/jake-and-austin-deraaff/
Here on today’s show, I have amazing guests who actually twin brothers based out of New York City. They knew that the traditional route was not the best option for them. So they quit college and found an online course on making money in real estate WITHOUT any money!
After being told that they COULD NOT make it in real estate, they committed themselves to be successful.
In 7 months, they were able to do their first wholesale deal. This gave them proof of concept which gave them permission to take massive action. This led to 3 more deals. Then 30 deals. Now they’ve flipped about 60 houses so far!
Their mission is to help people build long term wealth through real estate investing.
With that, please welcome Jake and Austin Deraaf.
How they got to $3,000,000 in Wholesale Transactions both LOCALLY and VIRTUALLY.
Real Estate Cashflow Conference:
https://www.jayconner.com/learnrealestate/
Free Webinar:
http://bit.ly/jaymoneypodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $64,000 per deal.
#RealEstate #PrivateMoney #FlipYourHouse
What is Real Estate Investing? Live Cashflow Conference
https://youtu.be/QyeBbDOF4wo
#LearnRealEstate #RealEstateInvesting #JayConner
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Jay Conner (00:12): Well, hello there. And welcome to another episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I’m Jay Conner, your host then also known as the Private Money Authority. And if you’re brand new to Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner, We talk about all things that relate to real estate investing from finding deals, funding deals, rehabbing, flipping, wholesaling, and even more important than that is automating the business. So you’re actually running your business and your business is not running you. So here on the show, I have these amazing guest and experts come on today is no different. But before I introduce my special guest today, I’ve got a very, very exciting announcement for all of you who are tuning in here, either on iTunes or Google play or any, or our YouTube channels or Facebook live streaming ever. How you’re tuning in here to the show.
Jay Conner (01:22): And that is, I just recently launched my new monthly membership, which is called the Private Money Academy membership. What’s so exciting about it. First of all, with all the benefits is that you actually get me live two times a month with a live Zoom group coaching call for all the Academy members. And so what I’m extending to you as, since you are tuning in you’re on the show, I’m going to be giving you a full free trial to the membership and it’s a 30 day trial and you can check it out go on over after the show to Jay Conner, JayConner.com/trial, Now what’s so exciting besides the two live group coaching calls, where we talk about anything in real estate investment that you want to always have special content I prepared for the membership.
Jay Conner (02:22): But we also have in the membership site, we’ve got content that’s being updated every month with all kinds of resources, for private money and et cetera. We talked about finding deals and all different subjects. So again, get on over to www.JayConner.com/trial, And I’ll see you on the inside of the Private Money Academy membership. Now, today my special guests are actually twin brothers and they are based out of the big Apple after 24 long months in college they were suffering, and they knew that the traditional route was not the best option for them as far as getting on their way to a career. So they quit college. They dropped out of school and they found an online course on how to make money in real estate with no money down.
Jay Conner (03:26): After being told by every friend and family and colleague that they could not make it in real estate. They still took a leap of faith and they committed themselves 100% of the way to doing whatever it took to be successful. So after their first seven months in the business, they still had not closed a deal. They finally made it to their very first closing of their wholesale delivers the wholesale deal. Well that gave them the element of poof, changed their lives, gave them a proof of concept and gave them permission to take massive action into what we call this real estate space. So shortly after that, they did three more deals and then soon became a close to doing 30 deals. So today, as of today’s show, they flipped and wholesale, Oh, around 60 houses. So far now some of their flips have been promoted even by local magazines in their area.
Jay Conner (04:27): Another goal was to earn 250 units by February, 2021. And they’re well on their way. Their mission is to help people build long term wealth through real estate investing and to give their partners safe and secure returns with that. I’m so excited to have you on the show, my friends, Jake and Austin Deraaff. Welcome Jake and Austin, Hello.
Austin Deraaff (04:55): What an introduction. Wow! couldn’t have said it better.
Jake Deraaff (04:57): Thank you so much for having us on, Jay. We appreciate it.
Jay Conner (05:00): Absolutely! Well, I appreciate you all coming on. I mean, you know, the big twin brothers, you know, at the ripe old age of 14 years old, it’s just amazing how far you all have made it.
Austin Deraaff (05:14): Still going strong
Jay Conner (05:18): So anyway let’s see, here we are in a high end real estate investing mastermind group, right?
Austin Deraaff (05:25): Yes sir.
Jay Conner (05:27): In fact, that’s how we met. Hey question. Do I get to see you in person in a couple of weeks? Are y’all doing that virtual thing?
Austin Deraaff (05:35): We’ll be there.
Jake Deraaff (05:35): We’ll be there.We’re flying down.
Jay Conner (05:38): Awesome! My wife, Carol Joy, and I we’ve already got our plane tickets so I can’t hardly wait to see you in person. It’s, I’m looking forward to it. I know people are ready to like get out of Dodge, Right?
Austin Deraaff (05:51): That’s true.
Jake Deraaff (05:52): Amen
Jay Conner (05:53): So I love your story. So I know you want to share this. So actually, how old are you all Austin and Jake?
Austin Deraaff (06:02): 23.
Jay Conner (06:04): 23? My lands to know what I now know when I was 23 years old mercy! could I have not owned the world? Like you’re on your way to do it. So we know part of your story. So you started out in college you know, you went to college for you know, a couple of years or so, and you figured out that wasn’t working. So did you actually go out looking to learn about real estate investing? Or how did that come along?
Austin Deraaff (06:38): So, yeah, it was actually funny. We actually, you know, we always liked making money. We used to flip shoes, flip electronics with everything. And then one day I was with Jake and we found this course online by Cody Sperber The Clever Investor. And it was how to make real estate with how to do real estate with no money down, no credit, no money. Well okay, we have no money, no credit, no license. Let’s try this out. So that introduced the wholesaling. And like you said, it took us seven months to finally get proof of concept. But once we got the proof of concept, you know, we take massive action. Like we get obsessed very quickly and that can be a good thing or a bad thing. And our scenario was a good thing, cause it was absolutely for our business. But it took us a while, but you know, we got it done.
Jay Conner (07:19): That is awesome! So you took that course and so give it, just give us like a summary as to, so when did you do your first deal?
Jake Deraaff (07:31): We did our first deal in may of 2018.
Jay Conner (07:35): Okay. 2018. You did your first deal.
Jake Deraaff (07:39): I’m sorry. March of 2018.
Jay Conner (07:41): Okay. So we’re a couple of years down the road. So share with us what that journey looks like from the time you started. I mean, first of all, you went seven months without doing your first deal. What do you think was the cause of that? And then what happened that really started to catapult your business? So just give us a summary of what’s that journey look like since you started.
Austin Deraaff (08:06): Yeah. It’s like any other business, you know, most people probably would’ve quit after month three or four, but you know, we had times where we want to stop and this doesn’t, we thought it didn’t work. We kept going after it. But the problem, we didn’t get the first deal. It wasn’t even about what we didn’t know. I’m sorry, what we did know it’s what we didn’t know. Like we weren’t really good at marketing. So we were doing very little strategic and the consistent marketing. Like we would put up band-it signs, talk to attorneys, do all these things, but not consistently. But once we started to do consistent efforts in marketing, we actually saw results. So I think the biggest thing was consistent marketing, you know, implementing what we’re reading and learning and stuff like that. A lot of people just reading on YouTube, but they don’t take action. So we start to take a lot of action and then, you know, results started to happen.
Jay Conner (08:52): I got you. And so in a couple of years I think you said you’ve done like 30 deals so far, right?
Austin Deraaff (08:59): Yep.
Jay Conner (09:00): That’s fantastic! So one of your goals is to have 250 units by February, 2020. When you say a unit, are you talking single family houses? Are you talking apartment doors or what’s your definition of a unit?
Jake Deraaff (09:17): Apartments.
Jay Conner (09:18): Apartments? Have you already started in the commercial space?
Austin Deraaff (09:22): Yeah, we have 16 units right now and then another 10 in contract. So 26 units are going to be at the end of the month, about 26 units and the rack, you know, marketing and try to find commercial buildings. So hopefully we have, you know, close to that number by the time the year ends.
Jay Conner (09:36): Are you focusing more on commercial now or single family houses?
Jake Deraaff (09:40): Single family is our bread and butter, but we are starting to look more into the multi-family space
Jay Conner (09:46): I got you. So in your single family space, are you doing more wholesaling or flipping or what’s the percentage of those deals was like?
Austin Deraaff (09:55): We have a couple of different buckets in our wholesaling flip business. So we wholesale and we wholetail we fix and flip. I would say if we did, you know, at a hundred percent, I’d say about 60% is wholesaling, 20% is wholetailing then 20% is flipping.
Jay Conner (10:09): All right. So most people know what wholesaling is. Most people know about flipping is let’s make sure everybody understands what’s wholetailing.
Austin Deraaff (10:17): Yeah. So wholetails are great, especially in the market that we’re in. So basically when you’re able to identify a property that you can buy at a wholesale rate. And at that point, what we do is we clean it out. We close on the property and if it’s in the condition where a bank would be able to loan on the property, that’s when we’ll relist it back on the market and get that full market value.
Jay Conner (10:37): I got you. So in your businesses Austin what hat hats do you wear and Jake, what hats do you wear?
Austin Deraaff (10:47): So I focus mainly on the sales and marketing and any type of like finances, again, the financing. So sales, marketing, and financing, and then I’m on the dispositions, operations and hiring.
Jay Conner (10:59): I got you. So you got to divide it out. Was it any of it? Was it any kind of a challenge when you started out and to figure out who was going to do what?
Jake Deraaff (11:07): He’s the born salesman, So he was on the acquisition team from day one. So
Jay Conner (11:13): Is that why Austin smiles more than Jake?
Jake Deraaff (11:16): Probably.
Austin Deraaff (11:18): Built him for it.
Jay Conner (11:20): I hear ya. So when you got started, what were some of your biggest challenges that you’ve faced and lessons learned?
Austin Deraaff (11:29): Good question. So I think the biggest thing, like any entrepreneur is like, is it gonna work like seven months felt like seven years? Because you didn’t see a check and you’re like, you have to keep telling yourself everyday. It’s going to work. It’s going to work. It’s going to work. But no one around us even knew what wholesaling was like, if you’re in Phoenix other places, it’s common to wholesale. But were in New York, no one even knew what it was. Even most of our attorneys didn’t even know what the word wholesaling was. We have to like reinvent the word in our area. So like, it was just, we had no one, not a lot of support. So we had to build our own inner belief system. So, and that’s the hardest part was telling ourselves It’s gonna happen. It’s just, when is it gonna happen? So we kept going and kept going. But I think if we would have had someone in the beginning that, you know, maybe the coaches have guided us and we were more consistent on marketing. We probably would’ve got a deal done a lot faster, but you know, life, the lessons you learn and the money you make. So that’s our philosophy.
Jay Conner (12:17): Exactly. So while were talking about marketing, you know, the two main things that people want to know that are real estate investors, whether they’re brand new or they’re seasoned, the two things they know want to know more than anything else is where do I find the deals and how do I fund the deals? Where do I find the deals and how do I get the money? Those are the two most popular questions. So in today’s market for your single family houses, let’s focus on that on single family houses. What are your best marketing methods that consistently? And that’s a word you used a few minutes ago. Very, very important word, consistent leads If we don’t have consistent seller leads coming into the pipeline in the funnel, we’re not in business, we’re out of business. What are your favorite methods now to get consistent seller leads?
Jake Deraaff (13:06): So our goal Do a lot of different marketing strategies. So we always continuously have leads coming in. So the stuff that’s been working for us has been direct mail, band-it signs, cold calling, texting door knocking. And we’re just we’re we love to network. So we’re always getting deals with realtors, other wholesalers and even attorneys.
Jay Conner (13:24): So in all those activities, what does your team look like? Like, do you have virtual assistants or what? Like you just mentioned a bunch of things that are like sub businesses or marketing efforts you know, in and of themselves, door-knocking, that’s a business model right there texting outbound calling. So how do you get all that done consistently?
Austin Deraaff (13:50): Yeah. Good question. So right now we have someone who does texting. Like his only job is just, you know, drop the text and answer the text. So he focused on that. We have, we have a van assigned team and then we have about four or five drivers. And what we did was we picked the one that had the most leadership qualities and made him the leader of the team. So he’s a leader of the van assigned team, same with door knocking and then cold calling and keep it in house. So all of our acquisition guys would make outbound calls daily, so led to keep everything. We don’t do any, any like Philippines cold calling, but we do work a lot of VA’s to help us out.
Jay Conner (14:23): Got you. So when it comes to door knocking what types of properties do you door knock?
Austin Deraaff (14:31): Pre-Foreclosures people who just passed away or inherited a property. We’ll get like a bunch of lists, Jay. And what we’ll do is we do something called list stacking. And if you’re new in the business, that’s something I would really recommend because you can get deals that are very cheap. So you basically get a bunch of different lists. Pre-Foreclosure probate, high equity combined into one list, whoever is on multiple lists, put it on a new list. And then we hit those doors. Cause if they’re on three, four, five lists, there’s something going on that you might need to know.
Jay Conner (14:57): How did you train your door knockers
Austin Deraaff (15:00): By doing it with them, Just like people try to automate that It’s really hard. You have to describe a deal with them, show how it’s done, record yourself, doing it, and then, you know, have them consistently do it.
Jay Conner (15:11): So let’s talk about door knocking. So you knock on a door give us your tips on how to successfully door knock. What’s the mindset. What’s the talk off points. How do you build immediate rapport? How do you keep the door from being locked in your face? And what’s the scripting sounds like.
Austin Deraaff (15:35): Yeah. Great question. So we actually started to do was before let’s say we have a list of 50 properties before we go out and actually physically knock. We’re going to send them a handwritten note. Hey, this is so and so we bought a couple of houses in the area. Would you ever consider selling? And now we go to the doors and say, Hey, you know, we’re just knocking. We actually left you a letter. Do you happen to get it? So I’m like, yeah, I got the letter. Awesome. Are you guys considering selling? Me and my partners bought a couple of homes in the area and we love to make an offer. So we kind of go in there with like a warmth, we sent a handwritten letters before and then go out to the house. So it’s not like it’s a cold conversation.
Jay Conner (16:11): Do you think the age of the person helps as far as who’s doing or the age of the person doing the door knocking?
Austin Deraaff (16:19): Yeah, All of our guys are under 30. We had to keep them yet kind of it’s for us. It’s been working well, we have everyone that works with us is younger. So that’s why it’s been working for us.
Jay Conner (16:32): So younger people are perhaps less intimidating when they’re knocking on the door, right?
Jake Deraaff (16:38): Exactly.
Austin Deraaff (16:38): Yeah.
Jay Conner (16:39): What’s your favourite way to find your team members?
Jake Deraaff (16:43): We use a lot of wisehire.com indeed.com.
Jay Conner (16:47): I love wisehire. My favorite reason for wisehire is you’re like already, automatically plugged in to all the other ones just by going into wisehire.
Jake Deraaff (16:58): Yeah. It’s great!
Jay Conner (17:00): Do you use any of their tools such as personality, self profiling tests, et cetera?
Jake Deraaff (17:06): Yeah, we use the PI. Predictive Index.
Jay Conner (17:10): Yep.
Jake Deraaff (17:10): Yeah. So that’s definitely helped us out. We actually hired Sharper Solutions Gary Harbor’s team. And they’ve been helping us out with some hiring as well for some of our key candidates.
Jay Conner (17:21): I got you. So how about, what’s your advice for young real estate investors, young entrepreneurs wanting to get into the business, like, you know, from your experience, what’s your advice to give them
Jake Deraaff (17:37): Well first? Yeah, there’s a lot of different things you can do in real estate. So what I would tell them is figure out exactly what you want to do. Do you want to flip, do you want to wholesale? Do you want to be an agent? Do you want to do creative financing deals? Do you want to be a landlord, figure out and identify what you’re looking to do. And once you figure out what you’re looking to do, just keep failing forward, hanging around the people that are, that have what you want or that are doing what you want and just continue to fail and just keep going. Because if you keep going and you keep learning, you’re just going to keep growing. And that’s basically what we did.
Jay Conner (18:08): So would you say you all have a company mission?
Austin Deraaff (18:12): Yeah. Our mission is to help as many homeowners as possible. Our goal is have 150 homeowners for the year. If we can do that buy a lot of apartments, you know, we’re happy where we’re at. We’re happy at that number.
Jake Deraaff (18:21): Yeah.
Jay Conner (18:22): Well, you said a word that’s very, very important to me and that is that word help. So the reason I asked you about the mindset or how you’re, you know, looking to approach and particularly when you’re door knocking or whatever, myself and my team, we take on the approach of, we are servants. We’re out here to help people we’re out here to serve people. As a matter of fact, when people respond to our marketing and they’re in foreclosure, one of the first questions we ask them is, do you want to keep your home? And I’m in a very, very small area. My total market is only 40,000 people. And so we asked her, do you want to keep going? Yeah, I want to keep your home. I said well, we’ve got a checklist of 10 different ways that you might want to check out what, of course we tell them, we’re not attorneys. We can’t give you legal advice, but we’ll ask him, you know, have you talked to your mortgage company about a a loan deferment program or what have you, and if we give somebody an audio that helps them save their home, there’s nothing in it directly for us. But I do know through the law of reciprocity, what goes around, comes around and the more people we can help get, what they want. We don’t have to worry about ourselves. Would you agree with that philosophy?
Austin Deraaff (19:34): Yeah, 100%. What goes around, definitely comes around. Yep.
Jay Conner (19:38): Excellent! We’re actually live streaming right now. We’ve got quite a few comments coming in from folks. So everybody that’s watching the live stream. We’re glad you’re here and and welcome to the show. So what type of advice would you give to people? You know, just in general, what, you know, when I’m asking a general question, what’s the best advice I can give to a real estate investor. That’s starting out. One of the first things I tell them is don’t try to go about this business by yourself. You need to join hips with somebody that actually has walked through the mines you know, instead of getting blown up yourself. And I believe you all got a coaching program that I know you can help anybody of any age, but for those that are particularly perhaps younger and starting out how has your coaching program worked guys?
Austin Deraaff (20:33): Yeah, so, like I said, we have a coaching program, so we have set times customized program per person. So if you’re in a different market than us, we can still help you out. So we do across the country, a set plan, set time for the calls. But the most important thing is we hold you accountable because a lot of times you can’t hold yourself accountable. You need somebody else to help you do that. So our goal is not to do the work for you, but to give you the roadmap, to do the work, hold you accountable, be coachable and give you a support system. cause the biggest thing for us was we didn’t have support. So it took us a while to get a deal.
Jay Conner (21:06): Yeah. how about you, Jake? Any other thoughts come out?
Jake Deraaff (21:10): That’s pretty much it. Yeah. We’re just anybody who’s looking to get their first deal done, whether it’s, you know, locally or, you know, even out West or wherever.
Jay Conner (21:18): Excellent. Well, you know, it’s for that reason that the three of us are in a mastermind together. I mean, it doesn’t matter whether you’re brand new or, you know, you’ve been doing this thing for a long time and you know, what was working really well, maybe two years ago may not be working so well today, particularly when it comes to different marketing methods and et cetera. So parting comments. I’ll start with you, Jake. And then we’ll wrap up with Austin parting comments that you’d like to share with my audience.
Jake Deraaff (21:51): Figure out what you guys are looking to do and what you’re looking to accomplish and back your way into it. So if you want to do 10 deals your first year, figure out how you’re going to get that. First one done continue to network with people. Cause one of our big sayings is your network is your net worth. So show me the five people you surround yourself with and I’ll show you your, your future. So if you continue to hang around, people that are elevating you and who are going after what they want, you’ll be in it heading the right direction.
Jay Conner (22:16): Awesome, Austin?
Austin Deraaff (22:18): I would say this six letter word it’s called commit. So even if you don’t want real estate wholesaling, or you don’t want going to real estate, whatever business or venture you’re going to do, just commit to it. Because when we first started, we didn’t give ourselves a plan B or C, we just burned the bridge. It was either real estate or homeless. So we have to make it happen. Cause we left their parents’ house. And he said, you’re either going to college or you’re until you’re coming home and going to college or you’re not coming home. So we said, alright, we’re not coming home. So we had to really commit to it. And yes, it took a time. It took, we learned a lot in the process and one quote that I was like is “you can’t fail if you don’t quit”. So the only time you actually fail is if you quit. So if you’re continuing to prosper, continue, stop daily and continue to take action. You’re actually not failing. You’re not doing at all. So continue to take massive action. Listen to guys like Jay and you’ll be very successful.
Jay Conner (23:07): Yeah. It’s improper for you to fail until you decide to quit. I think I heard somebody say that one time.
Austin Deraaff (23:12): Yep.
Jay Conner (23:13): That’s awesome. Well, listen, folks, if you want to stay connected and get to know Austin and Jake even better and perhaps work with them go on over to www.JayConner.com/closer, Again, that is to connect with Jake and Austin Deraaff go over to www.JayConner.com/closer, Austin and Jake. God bless you guys. So good to see you I’m looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.
Austin Deraaff (23:54): Thank you so much, for having us in this show. That’s the best show on the internet. So we appreciate that.
Jake Deraaff (23:58): We’ll see you soon.
Jay Conner (23:59): All right. Thank you so much. There you have it folks. Another episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner and I am Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority. Wishing you all the best. Here’s to taking your business to the next level. And I’ll see you on the next show. Bye for now.
#Jay Conner#Private Money Lender#Real Estate Business#Real Estate#Real Estate Investing#Real Estate Investor#Real Estate Profit#The Private Money Authority
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Happy birthday, @animetrashmuffin!
Happiest of birthdays to the stupendous @animetrashmuffin, the obnoxiously talented artist behind some of this fandom’s most charming and hilarious art, and the friend so nice I made ‘em twice. (Relatedly, happy anniversary to my realization that I am dumber than a bag of hair.)
In case there is any question, let me assure y’all that the person behind the art is a witty, generous, incredibly smart human being with a contagious laugh and an amazingly charismatic energy that absolutely lights up a room. I have cherished our friendship for nearly 14 years now, and it will never stop being funny to me that we somehow crossed paths again in a completely different setting and that I instantly started campaigning to make that mysterious stranger my friend as well. Maybe all those soulmate AUs are on to something, or maybe this one particular person’s innate magnetism is just that powerful. All I know is that I am one lucky S.O.B. and that McKirk fandom wouldn’t be what it is today without the genius, clever, creative, gorgeous, sweet, lovely, hysterical artwork @animetrashmuffin has given us over the past couple years.
I’ll be reblogging a few of my favorite pieces today, and I also have a couple little gifts that will be going up over the next few days.
Show our favorite comic artist some love!!!
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Favorite and Least Favorite SpongeBob SquarePants Episode Tag!
I wanted to do a tag post of my own. Since SpongeBob SquarePants has a lot of episodes and a lot of good ones and bad ones. I thought that I’d chose this as a topic. Good SpongeBob episodes tend to have memorable jokes, moments, etc. They also tend to have funny jokes and moments. They are also known for good plots and things that stick out! I mean who doesn’t know SpongeBob and love it! However, the show also has it’s downfalls. These include: flanderization, bad plots, bad characterization, bad jokes!
Rules:
1. Post all of the rules (I.e. maybe copy and paste).
2. Post your all time favorite and worst SpongeBob SquarePants episode! Explain!
3. It can only be just one episode!
4. Feel free to tag/mention however many users you’d like to.
5. Reblogs are allowed, if necessary!
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Favourite Episode:
My favorite episode may come as a big shocker to you! It is a post movie episode from season 4. This may be a surprise as most people like episodes from seasons 1-3, especially band geeks or chocolate with nuts. Some people may even have a shocking favourite and I’m one of them! Judging by the fact that I picked an episode from season 4... it wasn’t too hard to pick my choice...
Introducing karate island. Some people may just be like ugh... Karate Island, really?! I’d be like yeah there are a lot of good reasons as to why I love this episode so much! Why do I like this episode? Well there’s a lot of funny moments, including how Sandy fights the enemies on the floors of fear. I also like the idea of the floors of fear as it brings more tension into the story and it flows better. It also sounds like a creative and clever boss rush. This is because the enemies have creative weaknesses! These will include, jelly rolls, chapped lips, and fresh air! Now that’s creative! I used to not understand the time share part, but now I do it’s all about condos! I know that spongebob’s behavior was arrogant, selfish, and rude, but it didn’t ruin the episode for me because it added to the tension and was justifiable!
I had a history with this episode, I used to think that it was boring and couldn’t finish it. I saw the beginning and judged like a book’s cover! After I fully watched it, i enjoyed it and wanted to watch it again and again when it came on! Now it’s become my all time favorite episode!
Now onto the worst episode...
Worst Episode:
This one wasn’t as hard to chose because it’s one that almost everyone hates. It’s from season 7. I bet you all know which one it could be... the answer won’t shock you as much as the best episode! It wasn’t too hard to pick my choice here...
Introducing one coarse meal. Y’all saw this one coming! Many people have said why this one sucks! It’s all because of Mr. Krabs scaring Plankton with his fear of whales (Pearl) until he is driven into the madness of depression, paranoia, and even suicide (I’m serious!)! This is a kids show with hidden jokes and they show something dark like this that just isn’t right! It makes me sick! Also, I’m glad that SpongeBob at least stopped plankton from doing this, but still it was not even funny! The ending was nice to see him use revenge on Mr. Krabs, but still doesn’t make this episode any better!
My history with this one was that I always hated it. I used to hate it because it seemed boring to me! Now I understand all of the hate it gets and deserves! Every time it comes on the tv I do something in the background, so I don’t have to see it or I change the channel. This has became my worst episode! I never thought I wanted to see this one in my life! In fact, I don’t want to see it ever again!
Users I tag/mentioned:
@nekokitty21 @thewustywab @sxelfiequxxn @mario400 @bowserjrandfriends @juloxia @creeperx3 @murukuru @spongebob-screenshots @the-sweet-sugarpieisback and everyone else who wants to do it!
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