#yīn yīn

[nofatclips-home]

White Storm by Yīn Yīn, live at El Ganzo Records

[jazznoisehere]

Yīn Yīn: The Rabbit That Hunts Tigers (Les Disques Bongo Joe, 2019)

[agendrangel]

the rabbit that hunts tigers 🐇🧧

[burlveneer-music]

YĪN YĪN - Mount Matsu - if you cut the track lengths in half you could totally pass this off as a library album from 1978 called "Oriental Travelogue"

YĪN YĪN, the highly touted Dutch quartet from Maastricht, returns with a sonically expansive third album Mount Matsu. Recorded collectively in their own studio in the Belgian countryside, the album is a kaleidoscope of sounds and influences, occupying a no man’s land between Khruangbin and Kraftwerk, surf music and Southeast Asian psychedelia, Stax soul and mutant 80s disco, City pop and Japanese instrumental folk (sōkyoku). Mount Matsu sees YĪN YĪN at their most mature and adventurous stage yet. Infectious pentatonic melodicism calling for multiple rewinds. YĪN YĪN are Kees Berkers (drums), Remy Scheren (bass), Robbert Verwijlen (keys), and Erik Bandt (guitar).

[doodlezpoststuff]

To @burrotello 💅✨

Cloud boi with Sky gremlin

Here it is and I hope you like the results of this! Sorry it took so long to be finished. I enjoyed drawing Xinyú's design with my oc Li Yīn!:D

This is the reference I used btw- just found it randomly on pinterest:>

[daily-orange-character]

Daily Orange Character #184:

Amy Yin/Yīn Xiǎomǐn from Balala the Fairies: Over The Rainbow!

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Oct 13th

~*~

1. hi i want to read fanfics in which lwj saves wwx and wens. thank you!

IF by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 94k, WangXian, QingJue, Aftermath of Violence, Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Fix-It of Sorts, BAMF LWJ, Golden Core Reveal) LWJ immediately goes to the Jin camp, gets there first, & chooses to act to save the Wens

🔒 Sick Bed Reserved In Gusu Lan by scifigeek14 (T, 14k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Sick fic, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Golden Core Reveal, Fix-It) WWX & the Wens get sick & go to Gusu for help, & LWJ lets them in

~*~

2. Hello! Thank you for the amazing recs! Loving it! For the next In the mood for (hehehe I'm greedy), does anyone know any fics with Sect Leader Lan Zhan? Thank you! @lostandmessedup

🔒The Straightest Path by meyari (T, 30k, WangXian, NieLan, MingLi, ChengSang, war and death Grief/Mourning, Politics, plotting for neuroatypicals, Autistic LWJ, WWX Has ADHD, Non-Canon Relationship, I killed Lan Zhan's family, No Yīn Iron, Sect Leader LWJ)

golden when the day met the night by glitteringmoonlight (Not rated, 95k, slow burn, sugar daddy LWJ, light, angst, fluff, developing relationship, eventual smut, WIP)

Discarded by teawater (E, 187k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dying Lan children, Hurt/Comfort, YL WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, and it’s not always dark, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ)

Temptation by Karmiya (E, 23k, WangXian, JYL & WWX, WIP, Sect Leader LWJ, domestic abuse)

~*~

3. ITMF a) video game crossovers and b) fics where the boys playing video games is a big part of the story. 🎮 (Side note if a Stardew AU doesn't exist yet, someone really needs to get on that) @linderel

No A/B/O / Omegaverse, thank you

3A)

🔒 Season of Resurrection by Pyrrti (G, 1k, WangXian, Sky: Children of the Light Fusion, POV Multiple, Pre-Relationship, Reunions, POV LSZ, POV LWJ, POV WWX)

To Let It Bloom by Broken_Synchronicity (T, 2k, WangXian, WWX & Everyone, WIP, Modern with Magic, Stardew Valley Fusion, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, WCZ & CSSR are still dead sorry, Family Bonding, WCZ & JFM are related, Farmer WWX, Librarian LWJ, Genius WWX, MXY Lives, Grief/Mourning, WWX is gonna solve world hunger or die trying, Slow Burn, Getting to Know Each Other, Tall WWX) Omg I can't believe I didn't pay attention to 3 because HEY I STARTED WRITING A STARDEW AU FIC NOT A WEEK BEFORE THIS POST 🤣

Yearning for a Star by The_Gourmet_Gamer (M, 18k, WangXian, WIP, Modern, Inspired by Stardew Valley, Omega Verse, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Misunderstandings, First Kiss, First Time, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Jealous LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Magic)

3B)

Dreams of Cultivation by mortuus_lingua (M, 97k, WangXian, XiCheng, SongXiao, Themes, LWJ Uses Actual Words, Nonbinary NHS, Nonbinary XXC, BAMF WQ, Modern AU, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Oblivious WWX, Protective JC, Cinnamon Roll WN, Developing Relationship)

5000 IQ hanguangjun gameplay scores him a boyfriend by orphan_account (Not rated, 5k, wangxian, streamer au, among us, getting together, identity reveal)

~*~

4. Hello, Itmf please 🤗

Want to read a scene where wq says to WY that jc won't be a good leader if lack of core breaks his will to leave. And blaming wy for lotus pier fall shows his lack of common sense and clear judgement. And maybe about choking and who will protect him afterwards? Like how can you trust this person as a leader and family member

Maybe about some ethics in wq.

Never Again by Hauntcats (T, 67k, WWX & WN & WQ, JC & WWX, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Canon Divergence, Angst, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Dark, BAMF WWX, mentions of abuse, Not Everyone Dies au, XY doesn’t have a happy ending)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, OCs, OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons) Bonus: a core transfer doesn't happen but Wen Ning helps Wei Ying see how poorly he's been treated by Jiang Cheng in the second chapter

~*~

5. Hellour! This is for the next imtf,

Any fics where lwj's personalities just like flips? Maybe he gets hit with a curse or a talisman and suddenly those repressed lonely teenage boy is out in the open. It can be post-canon or in the cloud recess arc i dont mind. Any au works. (but no wip please! Or any time travel fics)

beneath six layers of silk by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 12k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Confessions, Curses, Embarrassment, Vulnerability, Swearing, Dirty Talk, Hand Jobs, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Honesty, Communication, beneath six layers of silk by darkredloveknot [podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea) )

old wounds, like hidden ghosts by wordsonpage (T, 2k, WangXian, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Dark LWJ, but like accidentally, Angst and Feels, Happy Ending)

Rarely Pure and Never Simple by thunderwear (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Truth Spells, Curses, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Post CQL, Getting Together)

The Meaning of Silence by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 14k, wangxian, Mind Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining)

~*~

6. Hello, I wonder if there is some fic where Nie Huaisang is sect leader for some time. And I don't mean post canon or post Mingjue's death. I mean mostly when Nie Mingjue is alive and well but Nie Huaisang was made to be acting sect leader for whatever reason or temporary reason.

Wandering Eyes (That Nie Mingjue will gouge out if he notices, Father, STOP) by AstaraelWeeps (M, 14k, 3zun, NHS & JGY, time travel, fix it, scheming)

~*~

7. Looking for fic that treat Jiang Cheng as the complex character he is - Lynchpin is a fave because he's not "all good" just doing his best after learning some hard lessons. More of that kind of story? Happy ending and of course no JC bashing. @kimboo-york

Jiang Cheng Friendly / Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

The worth of a life with no regrets by SnowdropsAndDreams (Not Rated, 43k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Self-Indulgent, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Post-Canon Fix-It)

The crow, the owl and the dove by GoschateWabn (T, 39k, WIP, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Sunshot Campaign, JC Needs a Hug, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, Fluff and Humor, Protective JC, BAMF JC, BAMF WWX, Sect Leader WWX, Canon Divergence, Oblivious WWX, JC is So Done, No Golden Core Transfer, JC Has No Golden Core)

Drowning in the Sun by Zelos (T, 8k, JC & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Transfer, Canon-Typical Violence, Brotherly Love, Sunshot Campaign, Family Dynamics, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, 🔒 [Podfic] Drowning in the Sun by flamingwell)

❤️ whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Torture, WWX Lives, but basically no one else, Case Fic, Cultivation Sect Politics, Past Abuse, WWX Whump, YLLZ WWX, JL Needs a Hug, JL Tries, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation, Past Character Death, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Alternating, Flashbacks, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression, Not A Fix-It, Mouth Sewn Shut)

basically anything by Lise that has Jiang Cheng as a character but especially With Absolute Splendor by Lise (T, 43k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Wedding planning, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Complicated Relationships, Angst with a happy ending)

some good mistakes by Lise (T, 18k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, Road Trips, (terrible road trips), Post-Canon, Rescue Missions, Hurt/Comfort, ish, Awkward Conversations, POV JC, JC & WWX Reconciliation, (ish they’re working on it), [Podfic] some good mistakes by kisahawklin)

Listen to the Ocean (Hear it Break) by TheQueen (T, 3k, ChengQing, JC & WWX, WQ & WN, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Character Study, Unreliable Narrator, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Angry Grape Boy hurts everyone around him and himself, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Family Dynamics)

From Yunmeng, Unsent by isozyme (T, 5k, JC & WWX, epistolary, angst, canonical character death, nightmares, canon compliant)

JC and WWX’s Get Along Sweater series by newamsterdam (T, 29k, JC & WWX, Trapped In A Closet, Cultivation as Plot Device, Reconciliation, Miscommunication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Novel Spoilers, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Night Hunting, Ghosts, Action/Adventure, Brotherly Love, Complicated Relationships, Yunmeng Shuangjie)

~*~

8. For ITMF, I would like to read a post-canon fic where Jin Ling renounces his claim on the Sect Leadership of the Jin and instead becomes the Sect Heir for the Jiang. A focus on the politics and personal feelings/consequences at some point would be lovely. Preferably non-wangxian-centric and no JC bashing. Thanks! @jensownzoo

~*~

9. In the mood for fics where the juniors love WWX and he is a fun/good senior they love and look up to alot. Thank you! @stormblessed95

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff)

Glow by Quiet_crash (G, 2k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, Junior Quartet, JC & WWX)

Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Case Fic, Intimacy, Curses, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Romance, Sexual Tension, Scent Kink, WWX Loves To Teach, wangxian are married, Fluff, nonsexual intimacy, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Nonverbal Communication, this is HEAVY on the symbolism, Translation in Russian)

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie (E, 68k, WangXian, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror)

Proximity To Knowledge by ChilianXianzi (T, 7k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Married Wangxian, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Teacher WWX, Inventor WWX, And his research assistant Lan ducklings, LQR is not a good educator, the kids are alright, WWX did online learning before it was cool)

Trust by FlyingMachine1 (G, 8k, WWX & the Junior Ensemble, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, background wangxian, BAMF WWX, Humor)

your words upon my lips by uchiuchi (T, 17k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Fluff, Curses, no sad times only good times, Canon Compliant, Romance, they are married!!, Let LWJ Say Fuck, Case Fic)

~*~

10. hi this is a itmf!!

hi fellow wangxian fic lovers at this point in the fandom i feel like ive read every good written wangxian fic out there im looking for any hidden gems you guys have im talking 10k hits beautiful plot or story anything that just immediately makes u kudos or bookmark it, it can be any au tags whatever im not picky i just ask for atleast over 10k words :))) @yesibest

i guess i'll have to change my plan by darjeelinh (E, 35k, WangXian, Modern, Meet-Cute, Falling In Love, Love at First Sight, First Kiss, First Time, Inspired by Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004), soft rom-com vibes, One Night Stands, but not really, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, they both have demi vibes in this fight me about it, Loss of Virginity, Misunderstandings, Separations, Reunions, wangxian canon Elopement™️ shenanigans, now with art) absolute love in first read

swallowing rocks, swallowing peach skins by AvoOwO (M, 24k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Angst, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Canon-Typical Violence, Drowning, Torture, Threats of Violence, Death Threats, Choking, Stabbing, Major Character Injury, POV LWJ, Smart LWJ, Smart WWX, Murder, Kidnapping, Gags, Protective LWJ, Pining LWJ, Drugs, Vomiting, Literal Sleeping Together, WWX Has PTSD, Food Issues, Sharing Clothes, Hair Brushing, Hair Braiding, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Soft WangXian, Angry WWX, Caretaking, Food as a Metaphor for Love, the mortifying idea of being known, Suicidal Thoughts, Angry LWJ)

who cares when you're gone by camellialice (M, 22k, WangXian, background SongXiao, Hades (Video Game) Fusion, Canon-Typical Levels of Self-Sacrifice, Canon-Typical Levels of Spitting Up Blood, Canon-Typical Levels of Pining)

‘Let’s go home.’ by Crowgirl (E, 27k, WangXian, Coffee Shops & Cafés, LQR's Excellent Parenting, Meet-Cute, First Kiss, First Time, First Meetings, Pining, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Angst with a Happy Ending, Modern AU, Past XiYao, past emotional abuse, Past Emotional Manipulation)

Rebirth of a Wretched Mayfly by marikazz (M, 15k, WangXian, Time Loop, Time Travel, Groundhog Day, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Not Really Character Death, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Trust Issues, Hurt WWX, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Okay, Mental Breakdown, Canon-Typical Violence, Existential Angst, Dissociation, Suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, POV WWX)

🔒take me home (where i belong) by scarletwanlian (E, 153k, WangXian, Slice of Life, Modern, College/University, PTSD, Trauma, Dissociation, Music, Strangers to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Depression, Running, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Injury Recovery, mental recovery, Mental Health Issues, Non-Sexual Intimacy, AND sexual intimacy, Literal Sleeping Together, and sleeping together, First Time, ace characters, also aro characters, and aroace character, Families of Choice, Car Accidents, Found Family, Flashbacks, Nightmares, gore elements somewhat, descriptions can get a bit gorey at times, Eventual Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Healing, Character Study, Grief/Mourning, Survivor Guilt, Whump)

Who You Gonna Call? by Beltenebra (E, 15k, WangXian, Ghost Hunters, Modern with Magic, Minor ChengSong, Anal Sex, Paranormal Investigators, Mild Blood, Mild Horror, Ghosts, Demons, Fluff and Humor, Case Fic)

Légèreté by perkynurples (T, 65k, WangXian, Modern au, Horse riding, Swords as horses, Crack treated seriously, Friends to Lovers)

From the Ashes by mostlynonsense (travelingpsycho) (E, 83k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Science Fiction, Slow Burn, Found Family, Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, IN SPACE!, Space)

🔒我拿青春赌明天 / I’ll wager my youth against tomorrow by tombenough_and_continent (T, 37k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Historical, Time Travel, ...they're time-travelling enemy agents writing each other love letters, Purple Prose, Enemies to Lovers)

A Wish I Can't Stop Making by Tirielle (T, 51k, XuanLi, WangXian, Memory Loss, Slow Burn, Mystery, Secret Identity, Wishes, Magic, Canon, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, JGY Redemption, Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Hairpins as a metaphor for love, Idiots in Love)

transmuter by WithLoweredVoices (Not rated, 113k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Magical Realism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Lovesong of the Square Root of Negative One by honeydrip (lmeden) (M, 55k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Modern, Blood and Gore, Elements of Horror, Elements of magical realism, Layered Narratives, A Story Within a Story, POV Multiple, Slow Burn, Not Everyone Dies)

Scapegoat by FinallyGotTheInvitation (E, 276k, WangXian, Modern, Trials, Lawyer LWJ, Defendant WWX, Courtroom Drama, False Accusations, Criminal Investigation, Threats of Violence, Death penalty, well not actually but there's threats of it, Hurt WWX, Protective LWJ, Childhood Trauma, Murder Mystery, Pining, Soft WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn-ish they have a trial to get through, Domestic Bliss, Happy Ending, Found Family, Bad Parent YZY, neutral JC, Good Sibling JYL, Neutral LXC, Bad Uncle LQR, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, POV Alternating, Pining while fucking, Belly Bulge, Gentle Sex, Smut, languid sex, Angst, Kissing, Neck Kissing, all other ways to say 'emotionally horny sex' ok, Eventual Smut, porn in chapter 15, Praise Kink, Homophobia, chapter specific TWs will be in top notes, Power Play, Power Imbalance, Wet Dream, porn in chapter 27, blowjob, slight breathplay, Size Kink, porn in chapter 29, Breeding Kink, sex wrestling, Tickling, WWX is a Brat, porn in chapter 30, Illustrations)

after hours by mellowflicker (E, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU Slice of Life, Age Difference, Older LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch LWJ)

~*~

11. I’m in the mood for fics with bodily possession. Just any fic where lwj or wwx are possessed or under control of someone or something. Thank you!

Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Nightmares, Sentient Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds, Possession, Panic Attacks, Night Terrors, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Sibling JC, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Feels, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Delusions, JC Loves WWX, Insomnia, Good Sibling WWX, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, LWJ just wants to sleep with his husband, Protective JC, WWX Sees Dead People, LJY pulls through, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses, PTSD, Post-Canon, YLLZ WWX, resentful energy, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, WWX’s Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is tired, LWJ literally just wants to sleep with WWX again is that too much to ask for??, Soft JC, Yunmeng Siblings Feels) in this wwx IS possessed by smth, I can't say what cuz it's a spoiler, just mentioning that it is almost like possession even tho the summary doesnt seem like it :)) enjoy

in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Horror, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Non-Consensual Body Modification, kinda??, Reflections over death and self-worth, mentions of canon suicide, Near Death Experiences, 🔒 [Podfic] in your skin by flamingwell)

old wounds, like hidden ghosts by wordsonpage (T, 2k, WangXian, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Dark LWJ, but like accidentally, Angst and Feels, Happy Ending) link in #5

Obedient and Bellicoseby thunderwear (T, 20k, Wangxian, Ella Enchanted AU, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, cursed LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good brother LXC, LQR loves his nephews you cant change my mind, LWJ crying, Protective LXC, Pining, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Brief Depictions of Violence, meaning at least one of the people you really want to get stabbed does in fact get stabbed)

The Meaning of Silence by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 14k, wangxian, Mind Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining) link in #5

🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)

~*~

12. I'm asking for canon era fics with lots and lots of hugs between the juniors and Wei Ying. I don't care if the ducklings are grown ups or just little babies. Probably please both types. Just nothing below 40k please. @constellationdks

~*~

13. Can you find me fics where cultivation sects gets punished for their unfairness. All sects gets punished not even Lan and Nie are left out.

~*~

14. Hey, itmf for fic post Wei's supposed death scene where Lan Zhan is punished (those beatings from cql) and then spends his solitary confinement in the cold cave. I am mostly interested in fics with depressed Lan Zhan who refuses to speak to anyone and/or gives up on his duties afterwards and just wastes away in that cave (instead of whatever he was supposed to be doing during those three years). It can even have suicide attempt or running away attempt. Thank you.

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 163k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Genius WWX, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Angry WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell WangXian, Idiots in Love, Requited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Soft WangXian, Married WangXian, Soulmates, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Immortal WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang friendly, not gusu lan friendly, Immortal LWJ) ARGH! I know I've read several fics that fit for 14 but cannot find them for the life of me! The only one I found that comes close is chapter 5 in A Life Without Regrets where Lan Wangji reflects on choosing to live for A-Yuan after his punishment in his first life (it's a time travel fic).

~*~

15. hi! this is for itmf. do you perhaps know any fics that focus around lwj's insecurity or fear that he's becoming like his father or something of the like? :") thanks!

the year of drought by idrilka (E, 24k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pining, Getting Together, Wedding Planning, Letters, Instructional Use of Gay Porn)

how do i forgive myself (for losing so much time) by thunderwear (M, 26k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Kid Fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition, of sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Sharing a Bed, yunmeng bros reconciliation, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Pining, read end notes for warnings, Post-Canon) Lan Wangji's fears about being like his father are also a small part at the end

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16. Hello! For the next ITMF does anyone knows fics where Wangxian adopts Lan Jingyi? @lostandmessedup

if i had the strength by agloeian (M, 16k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Fix-It, somewhat of a case fic, Heaven Official’s Blessing inspired gods & ghosts, No Spoilers for Heaven Official’s Blessing, Mild Alcohol Abuse, Mental Health Issues, WWX is not in a great place for a lot of this fic, He Gets Better Though!, this fic is all about learning to give yourself the help you give others tbh, Baby LJY, recovery fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition)

~*~

17. For ITMF, I'm interested in what people's favorite Lan Jingyi-centric fics are. Doesn't have to be from his POV, but he should be the focus. Any ships or no ships are fine. Thanks! @jensownzoo

anyway, here’s wuji by kakikaeru (T, 18k, ZhuiYi, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence)

Important Distinctions by nagi_blue (T, 5k, gen, Fluff and Crack, [Podfic] Important Distinctions by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona)

you are my chosen family by jinyinhua (T, 14k, LSZ & LJY, wangxian, LJY & LSZ & LWJ & WWX, 5+1 Things, Good Kid LJY, Good Kid LSZ, Blood and Injury, Night Hunts, Drinking, Age Regression/De-Aging, Married Wangxian, Fluff and Humor, Found Family, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics)

Why Not Me? by Eleanor_Fenyx (G, 26k, LJY & LQR, LQR & LWJ, LJY & LSZ, LJY & LWJ, good uncle LQR, LJY pov, war orphan LJY, character study, LJY has ADHD, found family, rejection sensitivity dysphoria)

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, Podfic by SeaNoodle) LJY gets possessed by the Yiling Patriarch

The Special Hell by MedeaWasRight (E, 73k, JC/LJY, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief, implied eating disorder, Implied Bulimia, Vomiting, Drowning, JC runs a water park, Developing Relationship, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Sibling Rivalry, Mourning, LJY is the best Lan, peril in water, Reconciliation, Hospitals, physical assault, references to children in hospital) For a Jingyi-important fic, modern au, try this one from MedeaWasRight. It’s a 2nd part of a series, but it can be read as a standalone.

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Chinese musical instruments pt. 1

I was inspired by my research into the different types of Chinese opera, so I decided to write about the chinese musical instruments.

Usually, traditional chinese instruments are grouped into 8 categories, 八音 (bā yīn): metal, bamboo, wood, stone, silk, clay, gourd and skin so I'll try to group them accordingly.

Metal 金 (Jīn)

Bo 钹 (bó) This is a percussion type of cymbal, with the size varying on the subtype. This instrument is also used in some chinese operas, which makes it all the more interesting to hear.

Bianzhong 编钟 (biānzhōng) This is a set of bronze chime bells, arranged in a specific order with each bell having it's own two special pitches which are usually determined by the bell size. The structure is especially interesting, as all the bells are hung from a frame (typically wooden) from which they're played. Other countries also have similar instruments, such as Japan, Vietnam and Korea although their names vary and they may have their own specific features.

Luo 锣 (luó) Luo is actually a general name for a gong, which varies in size and pitch depending on its type. Depending on the size, luo can either be hung on a frame or if it's small enough it can be played in hand.

Yunluo 云锣 (yúnluó) Like the luo, these are also gongs, named cloud gongs. There are 10 small gongs in a frame with the same size but different thickness so that each gongs pitch would vary. There is a more modern version, which has over 20 gongs and is much larger in size.

Suona 唢呐 (suǒnà) The Suona is a double-reeded trumpet, with reed meaning a thin strip of material. As Suona is classified as a metal instrument, it's made from metal with the reed attached to it. It's actual origin is quite interesting, as some sources place the Suona all the way to the Jin dynasty (266-420), whereas some consider Suona's origin to be from outside of China.

Bamboo 竹 (Zhú)

Dizi 笛子(dízi) The Dizi is a Chinese flute, which has quite a lot of varieties, such as 梆笛 (Bāngdí). This flute is especially interesting as it's used in Chinese opera, Chinese folk music and also in Chinese orchestra. Depending on the region, different bamboo is used to create this instrument - Purple bamboo in the north and white in the southern regions, although other material can also be used, even jade.

Xiao 箫 (xiāo) This is a vertical flute, orginating from the Qiang people in ancient China. The material is usually bamboo, with black and purple bamboo considered to be the best type. There are also quite a few variations, such as the 北箫 (Běixiāo), 琴箫 (Qínxiāo) and 南箫 (Nánxiāo).

Paixiao 排箫 (páixiāo) The Paixiao is a type of a panflute, which has a noticeable difference from the western type, as the pipe holes are created via an angled cut or a notch.

Bili 筚篥 (bìlì) / 管 (guǎn) This is a double-reed pipe, which has a few names. Guan appears to be a general name for woodwind instruments, so if looking for this specific instrument, it should be searched using Bili. This instrument can be traced back to the Zhou dynasty, where it was used as a military instrument. Later it became a popular court and ritual instrument, but eventually lost it's court popularity. Instead, it's quite popular in folk music and in Peking Opera, especially for military scenes.

Xindi 新笛 (xīndí) The Xindi is a more modern type of Dizi (the name literally means a new flute), which first appeared in the 20th century. The xindi differentiates itself from the original dizi by it's additional 5 holes, allowing for lower tones which makes it quite important for the Chinese orchestra.

Wood 木 (Mù)

Muyu 木鱼 (mùyú) This is a wooden fish-shaped woodblock which is hit to create a beat during rituals, most commonly during Buddhist ceremonies, Muyu's name literally means a wooden fish, as it's origin stories are associated with fish, with one story claiming that a fish helped a monk but in turn asked him for a favour, which the monk promised to do but forgot. The fish became angry and splashed him into the water. The monk survived, but his notes were all ruined, which is why he made a wooden statue of the fish and beat it.

Yu 敔 (yǔ) On the topic of animals, this is a tiger-shaped hollow box with toothed edges on its back. Why a tiger? It may be because the tiger had a powerful association with strength and power, although I have yet to find a source confirming my theory.

Zhu 柷 (zhù) This is a wooden box that has an open middle, which is played by using a wooden stick to hit the inner bottom. This instrument is very rarely used nowadays, with the majority of Zhus being in museums and temples, but apparently they still remain in use in a few temples for ceremonies.

Paiban 拍板 (pāibǎn) The Paiban is clapper made of wooden or bamboo flat pieces. When it's played together with a drum, this combination is called a Guban 鼓板 (gǔbǎn), which is used quite often in various different music genres, such as Peking Opera, Yue Opera, Kunqu Opera and others.

[haveyouheardthisband]

[bloopitynoot]

9 "I birthed him myself!" WangXian Mpreg Fic List

This list was asked for by @yiling-laozu-is-loml but is open to all!!

Note: This list is made up of tried and true fics, meaning I have read them all and loved them. If you would like a specific rec list- send me a DM! I love putting together personalized lists. If you are shy, you can send anon too.

The ask:

Must have Wangxian Mpreg (they are the biological parents**!)

BottomXian only

no yin iron plot- book canon only

** okay, so yes, most of these - 6.5/9 (6.5 because there's a fic with mpreg but does the dream universe count?) - have them as the biological parents BUT I do have two fics that take the "I birthed him myself" gag and run with it (Read: the cultivation world truly believes Wei Wuxian birthed Lan Wangji's child).

Enjoy!!!

1 A Mother’s Curse (A Mother’s Blessing) (33516 words) by Eudoxia

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Alpha Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Huli Jing, Huli Jing LWJ, Huli Jing WWX, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Curses, Case Fic, Animal Transformation, Arranged Marriage, Misunderstandings, No Sunshot Campaign (Modao Zushi), No Yīn Iron (The Untamed TV), Cloud Recesses Study Arc (Modao Zushi), ish, Shrek References, Very vague references, Because I couldn't resist…, LXC is a good brother! He tries so hard!!, Mentions of Ace LXC, Mentions of Ace WN, Background Relationships, Jiāng Yànlí/Jīn Zǐxuān - Freeform, Lan Xichen/Wen Ning, Jiang Cheng/Nie Huaisang/Wen Qing, AND NOW FOR THE SEX TAGS, Knotting, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Oral Sex, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Size Kink, 69 (Sex Position), Mpreg, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji and Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Have a Breeding Kink, Intersex Male Omegas, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Squirting, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji and Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Have a Non-Con/Rape Kink, but no actual CNC/rape play occurs in this fic. It's only discussed., there is also discussions of monster fucking but no actual monster fucking, (Intersex Female Alphas also exist in this fic but it's literally not relevant at all.), (I just wanted y'all to know they exist), Translation Available, links in first author's note to Spanish translations Summary: To avoid an arranged marriage, Lan Wangji places a curse on himself, one that can only be undone by his soulmate. He knows his family—particularly the elders—are upset about it, but Lan Wangji will not marry someone he does not love. Or, huli jing Lan Wangji curses himself to be trapped in his fox form until his soulmate comes along to free him. Enter, Wei Wuxian.

NOTES: I ADORE this fic. I love any fic in which Madam Lan is alive and well and we have mythical hybrids. This one is so damn sweet, honestly good on Lan Zhan for setting his boundaries and sticking to them. The mpreg is really a little bonus (a/b/o pregnancy), it is mostly these two Huli Jins falling in love in a sweet little slowburn.

2 A Thousand Paths, a Single Mountain (138898 words) by RohansEarings

Chapters: 23/23 Rating: Explicit Characters: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Original Child Character(s), Original Characters, Lan Huan | Lan Xichen, Lan Jingyi, Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui, Jin Ling | Jin Rulan, Nie Huaisang Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mpreg, Miscarriage, Fertility Issues, Guilt, C-Section, Period-Typical Homophobia, Trauma, Smut, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Hugs, Slice of Life Summary: Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji decide to settle down and start a family. It's harder than they thought it would be, but they're not alone in getting through it. They have each other.

NOTES: This story is lengthy and does have a good ending but getting there is very hurt/comfort. This features handwavy cultivation magic male pregnancy but as a last resort. A CW for homophobia (wangxian wants to adopt but because they are cutsleeves there is discrimination) and pregnancy loss that causes the characters significant distress. I do promise a happy ending though! The focus is very much mpreg of this story.

3 Vow (216627 words) by draechaeli

Chapters: 47/47 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mainly Novel with a few CQL and Donghua bits, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Temporary Character Death, WWXs dead for a lot of this, but he’s having fun, BeliefGod!WWX, Original Children Characters – Freeform, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, easy to skip nsfw chapters, brief crossdressing, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence Summary: “If you’re not good the Yiling Patriarch will steal you in the night!” It was never true, in fact the first child stole herself, the second was gifted, the third begged. By the time people realised that all the homeless children of Yiling, and all the daughters about to be sold had disappeared, it became, “If you’re unloved the Yiling Patriarch will save you.” Sometimes when you make a vow not even death can release you; as Xian-Gege the Eliminator of Evil, the Protector of the Weak, and the Saviour of Children finds out.

NOTES: okay you might be asking, "how do you have an mpreg story when the main character is dead basically the entire fic" I do not answer the question but I do respond "GodWWX/accidental God of Children- Xiangege". This story is very sweet and takes so many twists and turns. Lan Zhan is the most dedicated partner omg. At times it has very crack fic energy (enter the most bizarre dream scape pregnancy and wedding), but I promise it's a good read.

4 To Love And To Lose (and to gain again) (7979 words) by PotterheadAvengerDemigod

Chapters: 2/2 Rating: Not Rated Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Omega Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Omega Verse, Parent-Child Relationship, Adopted Children, Cute, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, but i hope you guys like it anyway, honestly im not sure what to tag this, its just a self-indulgent fic where i get very confused with myself Series: Part 1 of Blue Blood Summary: Wei Wuxian wishes that he’d told Lan Wangji about the child. Maybe Zhenli would still be alive, then. The Gusulan Sect wouldn’t have let a child of one of their twin jades be killed, even if his mother was the Yiling Patriarch himself. /OR/ The self-indulgent one where I create a Wangxian lovechild and go nuts.

NOTES: This fic says it's under 10k words BUT it is part one of a 21 part series. In which WY has Lan Zhan's biological child (OC) as well as adopts a-yuan. Canon still happens and WY comes back. It has some angst, it has some fluff, and it has a happy ending! The other parts also contain an au of this au with a fix it- so if that interests you there is a LONG read ahead.

5 All I Want (47042 words) by Selenay

Chapters: 7/7 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Mpreg, Post Holiday Romance, Consequences, Reunions, Idiots in Love, wangxian attempt to be sensible adults about it, they are very bad at it, Teacher Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Rating earned in later chapters, Handwavey Biology Summary: Wei Ying leaned a little closer. "The conversation we're having right now is about how it turns out I'm a bearer and we weren't careful and I'm not expecting anything from you, but now that you're here you should know that I'm…ah…you know…" "Pregnant," Lan Zhan said mechanically. "Pregnant," Wei Ying agreed. "You knocked me up, Lan Zhan. Sorry."

NOTES: A modern au with hand wavy biology. Lan Zhan, on a trip, knocks up WY unknowingly- finds him again later. WY sure is pregnant and Lan Zhan is definitely the father. The pining and miscommunication is so wild in this fic but the ending is solid!

6 Tied To The Ocean (51086 words) by NebulusCharlie

Chapters: 9/9 Rating: Not Rated Characters: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Lan Huan | Lan Xichen, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Madam Lan (Modao Zushi), Uncle Qiren A-Yuan Additional Tags: MerXian - Freeform, Mermaid/siren AU, Happy Ending, Fluffy Times, No Angst, eventual domestic bliss, First Kiss, Dating, Swimming, Identity Reveal, Tails, Mpreg, Merji, have to update the tags because things happened, Wedding, Children, Found Family Summary: Lan Zhan goes to visit his mother who lives by the sea. He gets swept away by the currents and MerXian saves him. But who is this boy-fish?

NOTES: This is the cutest story :'3 a little bit of Whump with Lan Zhan and his mom's relationship. it has mpreg, it has a wedding, it has supportive uncle lan qiren, includes wei yings parents(!!!!), AND it has mermaids!!! Super sweet, a little bit sad at times, but mostly sweet.

7 The Winner Takes It All (46781 words) by YilingSani

Chapters: 14/14 Rating: Mature Characters: Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui, Lan Qiren, Lan Huan | Lan Xichen, Lan Jingyi, Jin Ling | Jin Rulan, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Wen Qing (Modao Zushi), Wen Ning | Wen Qionglin, Nie Huaisang, Mo Xuanyu Additional Tags: Modern AU, Single Parent Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, lan zhan doesn't know he has a son, Old Friends, One Night Stands, No Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Panic Attacks, Forgiveness, Second Chances, Inspired by Mamma Mia! (Movies), Teen Pregnancy, Mpreg, mention of miscarriage, Birth Trauma, amniotic fluid embolism Summary: "Wei Ying doesn't know why he ended up on this exact island. All he knows is that he's scared, alone and hungry. And with a child." ----- 18 years later Wei Yuan has grown into a proper young man, helping his Baba to run the hotel on the island. On the week of his wedding, Wei Yuan comes across Wei Ying's diary and decides to invite the man mentioned in it to the island, unaware of the consequences it will bring.

NOTES: The Mama Mia! AU I didn't know I needed. This story was incredible- light angst (but still some) and a relationship that finally comes together. It really follows much of the plot and A-Yuan is getting married! Who is his dad though....(jk it really can only be Lan Zhan).

BONUS FICS: "I birthed him myself!" (not really, but the cultivation world needs better sex ed).

8 Propagate Understanding (175626 words) by draechaeli

Chapters: 34/34 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pregnancy Kink, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Mo Xuanyu Lives, Mò Xuányǔ has an arc, Original Children Characters - Freeform, Babies for Everyone, Crossdressing, Temporary Character Death, easy to skip nsfw chapters, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Summary: A-Yuan was birthed by Wei WuXian, A-Yuan called Lan WangJi ‘Father’, A-Yuan had Lan WangJi’s nose! Was it the time that Wei WuXian took his forehead ribbon at the Wen Discussion Conference Archery Competition?—he’d have to ask Brother. As a physician, Wen Qing has to suffer fools constantly; if Lan WangJi is determined to be Wei WuXian’s baby daddy, she wasn’t going to stop him, especially if it could save them all. And if it leads to some misunderstandings on the topic of marriage and propagation—well, it is not Wen Qing’s fault if Lan WangJi became the world’s best and worst matchmaker, making sure that children everywhere had parents. Fic is finished at 34 chapters and about 175,000 words. But as I read through before posting chapters those numbers may fluctuate.

NOTES: I honestly may have already shared this fic but I'm not even upset by it because poor Lan Zhan LOL. Also Wen Qing deserves an oscar for her performance; the fact that the entire cultivation world truly believes Wei Ying birthed a-yuan, Lan Zhan's biological son is WILD. A fic about saving the wen's through the worlds biggest (but best) misunderstanding.

9 Assumptions (50943 words) by draechaeli

Chapters: 9/9 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mainly Novel with a few CQL and Donghua bits, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, not mpreg, Not Established Relationship, But Shh… don't tell anyone, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, gender non-conforming titles Series: Part 1 of Induction Summary: The sects vote to use an array to spy on the Burial Mounds. The Jins want to show the evils of the Yiling-Laozu, the Jiangs hope everyone will see Wei WuXian the radish farmer. Lan XiChen felt guilty and sent Lan WangJi on a night hunt. They make assumptions when they see Wei WuXian having lunch with Lan WangJi and a toddler in Yiling. And sometimes assumptions don’t make an ass out of anyone, but save everyone.

NOTES: This is literally one of the funniest fucking things I have ever read. I am not even exaggerating. These two weirdos are over there being their adorable mpreg kink selves not knowing they are being watched by every great sect, their leaders, and the gods themselves in a live broadcast. This fic ft's Lan Qiren qi deviating in a corner, Lan Xichen and Jiang yanli planning a shotgun wedding, contracts flying across the room, lots of yelling, and Jin Guangshan having a VERY bad day. 100/10 recommend.

[mrmeowski]

˚✦𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭✦˚

Synopsis: Yīn Chén Jingyi's parents hired you to care for him, as they were concerned about their child. You've only been working for him for a few months, but it still feels like you're strangers. Sometimes you questioned if he even noticed your presence in the house. He is a game programmer who spends much of his time holed up in his room, drowning in his grief. During his episodes of depression, he freaks out and refuses to reason out why. It was your responsibility to keep him calm and be his shoulder to cry on. Will you be successful in your job?

CW: Depression, angst, sexual thoughts, possessiveness, slightly suggestive

Pairing/s: Depressed.M.Yandere x Caretaker.GN.Reader

Word Count: 4.0k

It was a damp, chilly night. The magnificent moon in the night sky gleamed brightly and nicely through the windows. Even though you had another companion in this residence, it didn't feel right—the deafening silence that filled the passageway, as well as the agonizing loneliness. Occasionally your thoughts wandered to the man trapped inside his room; "How can he survive like this?" and so on, but you didn't want to pass judgment.

Because the man never left his room, even for lunch and dinner, you had no idea if he even showered. You would come knocking on his door and either hand him a meal. The stairs creaked beneath your weight when you climbed to your destination. As you were ready to knock on his door and lend him his dinner, you heard him mutter something.

Though it was muffled, you managed to pick what he whispered to himself, "How can a world like this be so horrible to its inhabitants... Why must fate treat an already broken soul poorly? Have I done something to be treated this way? Is there even a God that watches over us or has He long abandoned us?" You sighed deeply as you opened the creaking door. 

He was certainly having another episode, and you didn't want it to get any worse, unlike the prior time when you were still new. The room was silent save for the shattered man's tears, and your footsteps echoed through the dreary bed chamber. 

You gazed at the dark-haired man, who was slouched in his chair with his head down and hair obscuring his pale face. On his desk were some empty and half-full anti-depressant bottles, dirty and clean clothes, and textbooks on the floor, but you said nothing about the mess. You'd offer to help him clean his room, but he always declined.

"Hey, Jingyi..." you whispered softly, and he peered up at you. His eyes were red and puffy, and seeing him in such anguish was heartbreaking. You placed his dinner in an empty area at the desk. "You know, I'm always available—you can reach out to me whenever you want to talk about something." Gradually extending your hand, you gripped his shoulder, expressing comfort and support, but he suddenly drew away.

He dislikes physical touch and is not used to it, yet he was impacted by both your gentle words and the comforting touch of your hand. However, his mentality will not allow him to be happy even for a moment.

"But isn't that your job...? To look after me?" His voice was poisonous as he gazed down at you; there was no feeling in his eyes, only a hollow hole in his soul. "The sole reason why you're staying around is because you're getting paid... None can tolerate me—all of them left since I was so much of a 'burden' that the money wasn't worth it." It was terrifying how his mind infects itself with lies, and you're not sure how to mend it that is if you can.

You were aware that before accepting the position, his parents had another caregiver. She sought to stay because it was free money. She hardly had to do anything, but the man had a reputation for getting aggressive if pushed too hard. That was what occurred to you before: he tossed books and other items at you while demanding for you to leave his room. Perhaps that is what happened to her, but you are unsure because there isn't enough information concerning her.

"Sure it is my duty to provide for your needs and that I also get paid for staying here yet I keep staying even if occasionally things become rough. I'm concerned for you and your well-being, what can wealth do if I knew I failed to assist someone in need when I knew I could've?" His face was unreadable as he glanced away.

Should you leave him be or stay by his side 'till he expresses his want to be alone? His countenance remained blank, and he sat motionless, which added to the turmoil in your mind as you considered your next move.

Following what felt like decades of drowning silence, the man in right in front of you spoke, "Thank you..." His voice was raspy and physically worn out as he pushed himself to keep going, "It's easy to become isolated in this space. In this whole household... It's a relief to have you here." He still refused to gaze directly into your eyes, preferring to concentrate on the medication on his table. "Do you think they help?" You pondered it for a moment, seeking to find the perfect words to tell him because you were reluctant to hurt him.

"I believe that they do help, yet," you started, not exactly intending to lie to him, though you were also reluctant to tell him the whole reality, "it's not a long-term fix. At times, you still need somebody to talk about your situation and experiences." You wanted him to come out of his shell along with trying other methods to assist him conquer his depression since clearly, his present way of life wasn't working out.

"Perhaps you're right..." His tone became a soft whisper, "It's just difficult to speak up..! To be completely sincere, I'm somewhat embarrassed of my emotions because I can't properly express them." He muttered monotonously, nervously fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket. "I'm scared that I'll be judged, of becoming a joke to others; I'm worried that when I grow exposed to someone, they'll abandon me... deceive me. That's precisely why I became a game developer—it's the only means by which I can express how I feel without others mocking them." He eventually glanced at you, his eyes poised to cry up again, and his lips quivering. "Y-You... You won't be like them, will you? You're not simply claiming these things? Just speaking to you... takes a toll on me." A ping of sorrow swirled in your heart; in all your years caring for him, you'd never seen him this transparent.

You were glad you were making some progress since he felt at ease discussing details with you.

"I won't—I utter these words with a purpose, and that goal is to see you in a better light." Your hand moved to his cheek again, this time subconsciously.

It simply cannot help; after all, physical contact is a means of expressing your affection for someone. He flinched and stiffened at first, but then relaxed slightly.

He sighed as he commenced, "Thank you again... I'm truly very grateful." He hesitantly took your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. "You know [Name], the world that we exist in... is overrun with misery and sorrow. Humans are selfish, greedy, and narrow-minded creatures." He sighed, his hold tightening slightly from his simmering rage and disdain.

You could only nod and listen to his shattered story. He delivered a long and bitter monologue about his background and suffering, his disdain for the world, and his philosophy. An extended outburst in which he expresses all of his anguish, as well as his melancholy and depression. He believes his heart and intellect will shatter into billions of bits. He feels like he might have done something wicked if you hadn't been present.

"Humans aren't just bad—they're undoubtedly revolting! The lowest of the low. The things that we carry out to achieve our selfish ends. How we destroy one another and our planet. The deceptions we spread to destroy a person... the fact that we use those who claim to be friends like tools to seize our goals. It's vile; can't those people not see or think of the person they've played with and had fun with? It's as if the misery of others makes them feel satisfied... makes them feel dominant and in control."  He shook his head, and rage-filled tears began to stream from his eyes. "I can't change it... never." He held his gaze locked on the floor.

"Hey... pay attention to me, Jingyi." He was hesitant yet ultimately obliged. "You might not be able to alter reality, however, you can make yourself never to be like them, and you can motivate others via your games, which you said is the only way you could express yourself, right?" He nodded, understanding what you were saying. "Then you could share the message—make others see the consequences of their actions." He smiled briefly until his lips formed a line.

"Huh... I thought of that too, but I was worried they wouldn't get it or want to play it, because who would engage in something that is so—" You quickly caught him off before his mind completely corrupted itself and shut the notion off again.

"But you haven't yet attempted it yet!" He remained motionless for a moment, staring up at you through his tears.

You simply can't help but wipe it off his face with your thumb which made him embrace the warmth of your hand.

"Hmph... I am not sure. But perhaps you could be correct. You know... you have an unexpected amount of patience with me..." That comment made you chuckle, causing his brows to knit together. "Is there... anything humorous with that?" He relaxed his grip on your hand, nearly letting go.

You quickly addressed the potential uncertainty, "I-I just find you adorable! I wasn't... I didn't mean anything else." This time, he was the one laughing, pressing harder into your hand, causing you to turn red, which he probably noticed.

"I see, well... you're fairly cute too, stunning even." You swear you felt his lips brush against your palm, but you hastily ignored the possibility.

"Thank you! I... you're also quite good-looking." You grinned nervously, feeling his cheeks flush.

Even though he was still feeling low and wasn't used to connecting with individuals other than those written in code, chatting with you made him feel better than before. You got him to smile sincerely, something he hadn't done in what felt like a millennium. He chose to push additional buttons after all, you had said to try new things... So, why not try it here, with you?

He whispered under his breath, half-lidded eyelids, "I can't bear such an ovation from a deity... a divine being such as yourself, [Name]..." There was an expression engraved in his features that you couldn't quite figure out. "Do you have faith that there remains hope for finding joy within this cruel, monochrome world?" Your lips dropped a little, and he shifted the subject so swiftly that your mind couldn't thoroughly evaluate his initial statement in time.

"Of course! There will always be a possibility of anything." You opted to dismiss it again, assuming you had been hearing things or misinterpreting them.

Instead, you kept wiping away the small tears that were falling. Your hands were warm... Your touch was pleasant and soothing. It was addictive for him, and he could feel his entire being drifting off in response to your actions. He experienced something new in someone's touch... warmth. He simply felt your delicate hand on his cheek. It placed him into a trance. Almost immediately, when you first stepped foot in his freezing home, a warm aura enveloped you, and he regretted not getting closer to you.

However, there was one thing that bothered him significantly. He was merely a blemish in the world, vulnerable to being used as a toy and discarded when they became bored, whereas you were clearly something more. Why would you worry about something as pointless as him? So meaningless that even his own family had abandoned him to perish in this home, where others only treated him for money?

"[Name]... do you honestly believe a mere shattered soul such as me deserves to be handled like a person?" His silky voice was tinged with anguish; he had suffered in the past... a lack of concern for others.

His fears and sense of worthlessness were greater than you had anticipated. It was almost astounding how low he thought of himself. A simple compliment cannot only lift him. You realized he still didn't think you and your acts were sincere.

"Everybody deserves to be handled kindly... at least the majority of them do. You're among those deserving people, and if you're continuing to have doubts concerning my actions, remember that I'm doing this from the bottom of my heart." This was the final straw, he couldn't hold his emotions in and jumped at you.

This causes you two to land on the cold hardwood floor. Before you knew it, your shirt was moist with his tears as he wailed uncontrollably. The man had forgotten what it was like to feel warm towards someone... He had never felt understood or loved like this before. He spent the majority of his life isolated in his room, his only source of consolation being the characters that appeared on the screen of his computer, but this was never enough. He couldn't touch or feel the twirling figures because they were always hidden by glass. He had no hope of being with them, of feeling their warmth that could melt his cold heart.

"I... I swear to you this: I am going to do everything I can to live a life deserving of this generosity and empathy that you have shown me. Eventually, these actions you made... I will pay them back twice more. All of the emotions that you made me feel, I will give the same for you." He tightly wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

"There's no need for that, you know?" He thought it was quite selfless of you to accomplish all of this and not want anything in return.

It was too good to be true; he had been waiting to wake up while lying in bed or on the floor, drowned in his own tears, with no one to comfort or help him. But minutes had gone, and he continued to lie with you on the floor. It felt fantastic like he'd finally been appreciated. He was not accustomed to being listened to, let alone cuddled without ulterior motivations. You were a breath of fresh air he had been eagerly seeking and longing for.

He allows all the tears to fall freely onto your shoulders. He felt protected, heard, and loved—he tasted heaven. Following a flood of emotions, he smiled through the tears. A stunning smile. It's a smile that says he discovered happiness despite his dark and horrible life.

"I may still be trapped in this dreary world, yet I'll never going to be alone anymore when you're at my side... perhaps you are an angel." Looking intently into your eyes, his were filled to the brim with ecstasy and affection.

You chuckled lightheartedly, finding his praise delightful, correcting him, saying "I wish I was—but it's what someone would typically do—helping the ones who are down and desperate." He wished that was true, but in the years he had graced this unfair world, he had rarely met anyone with the same mindset.

"That's what an angel would say..." he whispered, and as he buried his head more into the crook of your neck, he added, "Word for word." You smiled, smoothing a bit of his hair back; it was surprisingly soft to the touch.

You had no idea that the man's face was as blazing as the fiery gates of the terrible depths below. He clung to you like a forlorn puppy, seeking love and care after being abandoned by soulless humans. He clutched you tightly in his arms, frightened he would lose you if you didn't.

Overwhelmed by so many distinct feelings, his mind couldn't cope as they continued to pound in his head. The sheer possibility that his life could have a future... There is still some brightness in this earth... It is too much for him to take. He started crying again, but this time it was tears of excitement rather than grief. He could feel his stomach twisting and turning, and he wanted it to go on. Is that what they call feeling butterflies in your stomach? Was he now feeling love? He wasn't used to it, regardless of what it was. He accepted it with wide arms, and he will want it in the coming years.

He took a deep breath and attempted to speak, his voice shaky and hoarse, "You're the one that saved me from this never-ending suffering... An existence that solely holds misery and pain in its wake. My rescuer, my little angel of light." Closing his eyes, your heart halted as he leaned in, your lips touching his.

He kissed you passionately, wanting to show you how much his heart and soul are in your hands, as well as how much he trusts you with his life. It was his way of expressing gratitude. His quick action surprised you; you had no idea he wanted to kiss you. You could feel his hand roaming the back of your head, deepening the kiss, as his body forced you down on the floor, trapping you. His kisses had turned urgent.

You can't bring yourself to push him away, and you'd probably be lying through your teeth if you claimed you didn't like it. After what felt like ages of kissing, he eventually broke the kiss, releasing a string of saliva from both of your lips. He peered down at you as if you were his prey, and he was the hunter looking down at his prize. His unhinged expression made the hair on the back of your neck spring up, sending thrills down your spine.

His eyes raced around, savoring every part of your face before settling on your body; quick and ragged hot breaths exited his mouth. A sly smile slowly sliced his face, and he felt joyful, genuine contentment. His ambitions and aspirations had finally come true; those anime figures he had so many fantasies about having fun with could now be fulfilled with you.

The man blushed like never before, not even while watching porn. None of this resembled anything else. If he could, he'd rip your clothes right now and do as he pleased. You'll be satisfied with that, right? You said you'd do whatever to make him happy...

"I'm... I-I'm sorry I didn't..." Unfortunately, he must be patient and deal with his hardened urges for the time being.

"It's alright! Just eer... impuuulsiveness?" You paused with your remarks as if you were merely looking for excuses for his conduct. Thankfully, he accepted it and gently nodded. "Y-You know, Jingyi, a smile on your face doesn't seem so bad! It fits you rather well!" Taking your gaze away from his mad expression, you hesitantly extended your palm to his face. "You should do it more often..." His cheeks had a subtle glow that had grown stronger with your statement and soft touches.

"Do you really think of that? You flatter me, but I... wouldn't think so [Name]." He realized he was repeating himself so much that he was scared you'd grow bored of him, but his thoughts contradicted that concept; he simply couldn't get enough of your compliments. "I can't take such a compliment from you; I should have been giving it all to you..." With open ears, he listened to your words and realized he couldn't get enough of you—you had become a narcotic to him, and he was fully addicted.

"Of course I mean it! Why should I not?" He merely hummed in answer, a devious smirk on his face. It appeared that he had calmed down somewhat before you entered the room, so you proceeded, "Hey, it's getting late and you haven't had a bite. Come on, let's have dinner!" The meal that you had first placed on his table had gone cold, but that didn't matter at this point.

"Hmm... I would really love to have dinner with you." He rose and rubbed the back of his neck in shame. Lifting you, he muttered sheepishly, "S-Sorry... I can't contain myself. Were you hurt?" Throwing himself at you was immature, even animalistic, but it also felt fantastic.

You chuckled, "No, it's perfectly fine! It means you're able to talk about your tale with me." He nodded, the tiny concern in his heart gone.

But when you turned away to get his dinner, you missed his whisper, "You're my new world [Name]..."

The two of you sat down and began eating together, and you noticed Jingyi sneaking glances at you although you remained silent. You simply want to enjoy the brief time you're given with him until he falls back to his old habits. The man couldn't stop smiling as he looked at your relaxed physique; it was as if you were the most gorgeous thing he'd seen.

After your nice supper, he requested that you watch a movie, which you gladly accepted. He was starting to come out of his shell, and you're not one to say no. He even snuggled with you as though you were a plush toy, burying his face in your hair. He couldn't be happier right now. Perhaps if you both had... intercourse—or, at the very least, marry him then it will double his joy. Oh, and he'll make it certain that no one interferes with his schemes, not even you.

The lone guy was no longer in the prison he had made to safeguard his little vulnerable heart from the cruel world that sought to exploit him. It was like he had found a reason to live; you are a drug that he can't get enough of; you move him closer to heaven. He cannot go back now, and unlike narcotics, this will not harm him in the long run. His admiration for you is infinite, more so than the galaxies above.

Long before the film ended, you fell asleep in his warm embrace. In contrast, he remained watching you until he too fell into a deep slumber. Even while sleeping, his mind was calm and content. He can't believe you'd invest your time and effort in someone like him without ill intent. You were truly a miracle.

In the dark of night, as the midnight chime rang, after he had ensured you had long fallen into an unwakable sleep, he stopped pretending to be sleeping, which he nearly failed... It can't be helped when he's with someone who exudes such ease. With your body now completely his, soft fingertips traced your jawline, loving every detail of your features. His touch was gentle as if one incorrect move might break you like glass.

His gaze moved from your face to your body, where every curve and flaw was a work of art in his eyes. You were live proof that humans were created by God. He has touched and tasted you, but it does not satisfy his insatiable appetite because he has yet to go further. His teeth brushed against your soft skin as he approached your neck to take a bite.

As he kept sucking on the side of your neck, he let out a quiet groan of pleasure. It tasted so sweet, and he pondered if it could be even sweeter down below. Silly little ideas had made him feel warm and fuzzy under his trousers. Fortunately, you were sound asleep; otherwise, you would have felt it and his mounting urges, which may or may not have scared you away. He wouldn't want that, he can't imagine a life without you.

He will ensure that you never leave his side, just as he will not leave yours. Even death cannot separate the two of you. It won't hurt for him to be a little selfish, will it? After all, this fractured world has stripped him of everything. It took both his soul and body and ruined his mind, forcing him to view reality at such a young age. But he will not allow them to take you away from him. He was selfless and naive at the time, making him the ideal target for their little plaything.

You are his alone, and he will go to tremendous measures to maintain it that way. Don't even think you can get out of this when you discover his deepest and darkest desires... You accepted this position and his conditions, and you agreed to stick with him.

Masterlist»

*•.𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃.•*

[yilinwriter]

Kindred Spirits 知音: "The One Who Truly Understands Your Songs"

Update: Thank you for all the shares on this post! I want to mention that my debut book of Chinese poetry translations and essays on translation, The Lantern and the Night Moths, is out from Invisible Publishing and available through all bookstores. The longing for kindred spirits is one of the main themes running through the book. https://yilinwang.com/the-lantern-and-the-night-moths/

For #AroWeek, I want to talk about the Chinese term 知音 (pronounced zhīyīn in Mandarin), which has influenced my thinking about queerplatonic relationships. zhī 知: to know, knowing yīn 音: music, sound literally, a zhīyīn is someone who "truly understands your songs"

the term zhīyīn comes from a story about finding a kindred spirit through music.

There are many versions of the story. Here's one version:

One day, the musician Yu Boya was playing a qin (see image) in the wilderness, when he met Zhong Ziqi.

When Boya played one song, Ziqi immediately understood it and described it as reflecting the mood of soaring mountains (高山). When Boya played another song, Ziqi also comprehended immediately and described it as creating the mood of flowing waters (流水). Ziqi could understand all of Boya's songs. When Ziqi passed away, Boya felt so distressed that he destroyed his qin and never played it again. Boya thought of Ziqi as a "zhīyīn," and that term continues to be widely used to this day.

In a modern context, the term of "zhīyīn" is often translated into English as a soulmate, a kindred spirit, or a very close friend, but at its core, it's a term that refers to a type of intensely emotional, spiritual, and platonic connection with someone.

The original songs played by Boya have been long lost to the passage of time, but musicians and composers have tried to imagine what the songs might have sounded like.

There's even a recording of "Flowing Waters" (流水) included on the Voyager Golden Record, symbolically helping humankind search for a zhīyīn as it drifts around in outer space.

For me, as an aspec (demiromantic, biromantic, and asexual) Sino diaspora femme, the idea of zhīyīn offers me a way to think about the concept of queerplatonic relationships, given that it's very similar to the idea of a soulmate but without the necessary romantic connotations of the word in English. The concept of zhīyīn is explored again and again in various Sinophone literature and popular media, from wuxia and xianxia c-dramas to poetry that alludes explicitly or indirectly to zhīyīn.

Folks who follow my work as a translator might know that I have been translating poems by Qiu Jin (1875-1907), one of China's most renowned feminist poets. She frequently wrote about her longing for a zhīyīn. Some of my translations: https://chinachannel.lareviewofbooks.org/2021/02/12/qiu-jin/

The concept of zhiyin also features prominently in my upcoming book of poetry translations, The Lantern and the Night Moths. I originally wrote this thread for Twitter but wanted to bring it here for #AroWeek. Alloromantic folks, please take a moment to learn more about #AroWeek and support arospec creators. If you are arospec and found me via this tweet, please feel free to say hi!

[doodlezpoststuff]

Still improving and just finished drawing this of bb Redboy with Li Yīn

Yeah ik the background is off- still have some space for improvement:D