#xfiles: home again

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Home Again), Part IV

This is the one Revival episode I was semi-curious about: it may drum up a lot of heartfelt ~emotions~, but my glasses-on-emotions-off side is dying to be intrigued or surprised or… placated. 

It’s gotta happen at some point during this series. 

Part I (My Struggle I), Part II (Founder's Mutation), and Part III (Weremonster).

Let's go!

HOME AGAIN

It’s Home Again tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime~. 

Oh, no. 

(Note from the future: Looking back, this sign makes me want to rage.)

…Why are the firemen antagonistically hosing down the homeless?

“You people?” In D.C.? In 2015? Sure, Jan. 

This man’s career woulda been over in five seconds. 

The firemen’s careers woulda been over in five seconds. 

The police wouldn’t be standing by eating food on the job while supervising, what? 

Does. 

Do the writers remember how police procedurals work?

Do….

Do the writers not care about the casefiles anymore? Well, yes; but… do they not care… at all?

Guys, if I read this in a fanfic I’d have already skipped to the end, skimmed through the last paragraph, and closed the tab. 

Solomon Grundy or the avenging Angel of Death or the Homeless Havoc Haver got off a dumpster… truck… and. 

I’m not taking any of this seriously. 

If the MSR is really good, I’m going to save all my snark for the plot. 

It’s a stinky one already. 

THE POLITICIAN GUY STARTS SCREAMING, THE BAD GUY STOMPS IN, RIPS HIS ARMS OFF, AND THAT KILLS THE POLITICIAN GUY?? RIPPING HIS ARMS OFF???? REALLY???

And no, he didn’t rip him in half-- he ripped his arms off.

All the homeless people zipped up their tents knowing the dead garbage... thing was coming-- so, do they have protection from it, or are they afraid of it? 

Also, why did that soda can crunch up before the garbage truck even arrived? A visual that the Garbage Gargantuan was coming? …Before he actually, physically arrived? Even though he apparently can’t manipulate matter in that way himself? Or hasn’t shown himself to do so, yet?

It’s all kinda… shoddy. 

“Sir, are you there?” said the most unconcerned voice on the other end of his discarded phone. …You couldn’t give me… something? 

Wait, the garbage truck dropped him off, drove off, then had to drive back, I guess, to pick him up mere minutes later. Less than five. Less than three, even. 

That makes no sense. 

Here they cooooooooooooooooooooome….

Oh, that’s where these outfits came from. This episode. 

Scully still has her middle-aged wine mom low-cut, very unprofessional-- and your girl knew how to be hot and professional back in the day. (I’m not even saying she has to be prudish, I’m saying why that shirt? Leaving it unbuttoned would work for a softer blouse, but hers has stiffer fabric, which makes the shirt bunch weirdly. You can see it particularly in the uneven collar and wrinkled lapels:) 

Wait, what’s that weird, discolored stripe on Mulder’s left chest? It’s not a shadow from the tie, I don’t think. Is it a wet patch? A thinning patch of fabric?

Also, yes, this episode is a rip-off of Arcadia, who cares. 

“Well, it looks like this person was born with no footprints. …Which is impossible, by the way.” Yes, Mulder, the team knows, THEY ASKED YOU ON THIS CASE. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

It wouldn’t be so bad if the cuts didn’t hold too long or end awkwardly. Whoever was in the editing room really hampered the already questionable quality of their material. 

Scully’s voice isn’t as “smoker” anymore. 

WAIT, WAIT, HOLD UP. NONONONONONONONONO.

Mulder just looks out a window and sees a MURAL of the KILLER??????????

WHAT, DID THE HOMELESS POOL THEIR POCKET CHANGE, BUY PROFESSIONAL GRADE ART SUPPLIES, AND PUT GARBAGE GARY UP ON A BILLBOARD?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

MULDER AND HIS HOMELESS ART, TAKE TWO, I GUESS. 

Maybe it was a local artist who heard the homeless stories and put it up, but.... 

Wait. 

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 

Scully has Bill’s name. In her phone. As William. 

As. 

William. 

AS. 

WILLIAM. 

That was purely to tease the fans because there’s no way Bill goes by William. 

Scully doesn’t even call Bill ‘William.’

Wait. 

Those aren’t Scully’s nails. 

Did the hand model casting department even try. 

I WAS RIGHT, oh, look, it changed due to Scully’s ~trauma~, I guess. 

The writers and cinematographers and directors didn’t even try. 

Why would Scully have Bill in her phone as ‘William Scully, Jr.’ and not Bill? He’s Bill to her, not ‘William Scully, Jr.’ the 2nd, ™. 

She didn't: it was a ~ trauma mirage~.

And a badly done one at that.

The writers tried to have a little “oh, look, it’s William!” moment, but the caller layouts are completely different. 'William' is front-and-center whereas the 'William' in 'William Scully Jr.' is shoved off to the left.

They should have done an extreme zoom-in on the ‘William’ part of ‘William Scully, Jr.’, then a snap over to Scully, then a snap back showing Bill's full name. It would get the point across without being nefariously baity. 

(Note from the future: This makes even less sense in retrospect.)

Shoddy scene splicing, what’s new?

Bill was in Germany, huh. Guess he’s still in the military. 

WAIT. 

Maggie, who is in Maryland, next to D.C., had BILL listed as her emergency contact. (Note from the future: Not even that, it's worse.)

Who was supposed to be in Germany. 

Instead of her daughter who is in D.C.

~~~~~~Tensions~~~~~~ I see. 

Mulder immediately notices the slight change in Scully's voice and intuits Something’s Wrong. Good, good. The bare minimum, but good. 

Wait, the EMTs found Bill's number on Maggie, or…? 

So, did Maggie not have anyone listed as her emergency contact? ...And the writers want us to think Scully would stand for that in case of an emergency??

Well... that could be a valuable character beat, we’ll see. 

Mulder telling Scully to immediately go and her “Yeah”ing and going is a good beat, too. They’re acting more like themselves... they’re acting like a 50-something version of themselves, at least; it’s good. 

Don’t ruin this for me, writers. Don’t do it. 

Scully’s gone and DID NO ONE THINK TO CHECK THE SECURITY TAPES??? NO ONE���S DONE THAT, YET????? NO ONE EVEN BOTHERED TO LOOK FOR A SECURITY CAMERA???

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

(WHY are we down but looking up into Scully’s face with really weird jumpcuts as she clops out of the building????

WHAT IS THIS. 

This is not displaying her anxiety. It’s portraying impending madness.

THERE ARE FOUR. FOUR. MOUNTED SECURITY CAMERAS. 

Mulder’s gauging the perpetrator's height based off of basketball players; but is this supposed to be a "heehee, haha, that's weirdo Mulder for ya" bit? Because his method is just... sensible and smart. (The other investigator has a split-second “what’s up with this dude?” expression, but that wouldn’t fit here because what Mulder did was, dare I say, normal.) 

None of this is offensive, and it’s not drumming up real anger, so. That’s a win, I guess. 

That street art was put up… this morning? THIS? Morning? How did someone scale and paint and get it all done before Mulder and Scully arrived? 

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatever. Probably supernatural, anyway. 

Mulder stepped in gum, then had the brilliant idea to preserve it as evidence. Smart. 

Scully’s at the hospital. 

Maggie’s in the hospital, alone. Ah, man. 

This scene’s shot really well thus far. It has the right balance of music, the right balance of silence, the right balance of camera cuts. 

And it’s immediately ruined.

WHEN MAGGIE GAINED CONSCIOUSNESS, SHE REPEATEDLY ASKED FOR "SOMEONE NAMED CHARLIE" AND NOT HER OWN DAUGHTER WHO LIVES IN D.C.

THIS ISN’T MAGGIE, WHAT. 

There had better be a real-- and THOROUGH-- explanation for any of this. Maggie LOVED her little Dana and her daughter Melissa and Bill. But here we’re to assume Charlie has supplanted Melissa as the outcast or Dana as the favorite???

Really. 

(Note from the future: Nope. It might be worse, though.)

To me, Dana was her "favorite"-- her "baby girl"-- all these years. The two always drew comfort and strength from each other, growing closer when Captain Scully passed and the other Scullys drifted away or died off.

But now Maggie wants Charlie. To what, right a wrong???

Scully has been shoved into this new reality of her mom not listing her as an emergency contact and only asking for Charlie-- NOT FOR HER, FOR CHARLIE-- and perhaps having suffered from health complications for a while now without filling her medical doctor daughter in on the details. 

It’s so. Cruel. 

“They’re estranged.” 

CHARLIE’S ESTRANGED FROM MAGGIE. 

WHAT. 

WHERE DID THIS COME FROM. 

I knew there were fandom speculations that Charlie was estranged, but I never knew it had confirmation in canon (well, the Revival canon.)

SO. 

All this time, Charlie didn’t have a problem with his father-- since Bill is Captain Scully’s carbon copy and Charlie always called or communicated through him-- but with his mother. 

What’s Maggie ever done? Honestly, what’s Maggie ever done for this to be her ending? What in canon pointed to estrangement or secrets from her children or whathaveyou?

If anything, this is Tena Mulder 2.0: estrangement from her son, asking for him to come before her death, keeping a health complication secret, dying without providing closure. But that’s not Maggie’s character and never has been. 

I don’t understand this, Morgan and Wong or Morgan or Wong. At what point did you think this was the right decision to make for this character??

I can pick up what the writers are putting down-- no one truly knows another person, even if they think they do, etc.-- the FLAW with that logic is, we know enough about a person to notice if they're acting differently or out-of-character. And Maggie has always been a flamingly consistent person: she can’t hide her feelings and doesn’t feel shame in expressing them, she’s terrible at keeping secrets, and she’s torn apart if excluded from her loved ones’ personal lives. These traits have consistently remained the foundation of her persona. Changing them now-- so suddenly and completely-- is poor if not lazy or "hack" writing.

My fury is not solely because I like Maggie and want her to have a happy ending but because that’s not Maggie-- never has been-- and Maggie Scully would never act the way this Maggie has. 

Regarding Charlie, he was never portrayed as “separate than” the Scully clan-- that was Melissa-- just always busy on military tour or whatever he was doing. He kept in contact with Bill, he let his sister babysit in Home (heh, Home Again, GET IT), and he sent presents to the family through Bill in A Christmas Carol. Maggie never seemed perturbed or disturbed or saddened or emotional when hearing his name or talking about him; and she would have been if there were something amiss. 

“She, she didn’t ask for me, or for Bill, or for her grandchildren?”

The implication here is that Bill has children and Charlie doesn’t-- if Charlie had children, Scully would have assumed Maggie were trying to get in contact with his kids-- her grandchildren-- by calling him. Scully doesn’t say “all her grandchildren” or “her other grandchildren.” Nope. 

So, Charlie’s not a dad, and Bill has more than one kid.  

I do understand he was written as the lone guy with a wife (while Bill had a wife and kids) in Beyond the Sea, but times and lore have changed; and I’m disappointed Morgan and Wong or Morgan or Wong didn’t update their memory, too. 

In a deleted script, Charlie was also, supposedly, single. And yes, that script was never produced, but I find it interesting that he and Melissa were kind of the “unattached” Scully kids, with Melissa being considered the black sheep and Charlie being considered largely absent. 

“Hey, Mom. I’m here. I’ve been where you are. I know Ahab is there. And Melissa.” Um, okay. Something feels off about this, but I can’t pinpoint what. 

“And Mom. I’m here.” That part can stay, wow it kinda got to me. Okay, Revival, you got something out of me. Huh. Don’t butcher this. 

(‘Kay, so, I thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink the problem I had with the first statement was that it was a little clunky, a little “remider”y. But it bridges the gap between redundant and old X-Files dialogue, sooooooooooooooooooooo. I’m not sure how to sort it.) 

“Bill, Jr.’s” (guess he’s forever called ‘Junior’, huh… that’s kinda hilarious, but also out of character) “here. And William.” Her crying over William a little, realizing she talked about him voluntarily for the first time, is also a nice touch. “And Charlie. Charlie’s here.” 

Too bad I’m not invested in Maggie because… welp. Review criticisms above. 

“Please, Mom, don’t go home yet. I need you.” 

I do wonder why this is called Home Again-- I get it, it’s a wink-and-nod to M and W’s Home title, but the material doesn’t reaaaally sync. Unless, of course, Maggie’s real proud of “her boys”, and is tossing aside Scully’s importance aside because she never had children.... Well.

…Oh, my word, the two politiciany people on the scene are so highschool play. Stop, please. “Are you threatening me?”/”I’ve been threatening you for six months.”/”Well stop.” UGH. 

Lady calls police-politician-whoever a name and Mulder jokes, “You married?” and mumbles a little as the lady stumbles over her words explaining…. That’s David-humor, not Mulder-humor. 

Mulder having to become the voice of the homeless while hashing out this not-married couples’ couple banter aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand. Snore.

This is like a little Professor Layton sideplot where you can’t pass down the alley you need to get to if you don’t solve a random villager’s puzzle. Groovy. 

Random homeless guy says “Band aid nose man” to Mulder and walks off. That’s a clue if I’ve ever been beaten upside the head with one. 

Oh, look, the mural’s gone. Groovy. 

WHY are we getting a flashback to Scully’s bedside from One Breath? I get it, I do, nostalgia, etc. etc. HOWEVER, I think this scene would have been better served if we heard Mulder’s voice instead of seen his hand because, I don’t know, Scully was in a coma and didn’t see this happening, I don’t think. Unless she had a bird’s eye view above her body and just hovered there for days, I guess. 

Maggie has a new coin necklace, ooooooh, the woman without secrets had secrets, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Ugh. 

Bill called, and Scully finally called him ‘Bill.’ 

Bill needing to know if Maggie will die before he gets there and demanding expertise from Scully IS a Bill thing to do-- he’s probably not meaning to inflict more trauma on his sister, but he’s never paid attention to what does traumatize her. Nice, nice. 

Maggie wanted to remain on life support, nice, nice, that fits with her  One Breath experience and Catholic values, good. 

That was a REALLY good scene, I will admit. Just having Scully watch someone else’s body be packed up for the morgue while Bill continually leeches answers from her on the other line, I wish that’s how the One Breath flashback had unfolded, too. 

OH, it was a band aid, not gum, that stuck to Mulder’s shoe. 

Why does the undead man need to wear a band aid on his nose. 

Deadman’s neither dead nor undead. ‘Kay. 

Scully’s being hyper-vigilant and boundary crossing into "doctor mode" while keeping an eye on her mom. Bored, trying to distract herself with work, nice, nice. 

MAGGIE MADE A NEW DIRECTIVE WITHOUT TELLING SCULLY ABOUT IT. WHAT IS THIS, PAYBACK FOR WHAT HER DAUGHTER DID?????? But if this is payback to Scully, why is she ALSO punishing Bill??? Because Bill is being inadvertently punished: he was left in the dark, too, and only called incidentally. And even if that's the case, Scully's punishment is still WORSE. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Because of William???

Sorry, that’s not a Maggie thing to do. She mended fences between her husband and youngest daughter, embraced her despite the chaos of her life, even forgave her after the whole cancer debacle (being kept in the dark then forced into secrecy without the healthy outlet of discussion.) 

MAGGIE’S JUST NOT VINDICTIVE, SHE’S NOT. WHY IS SHE NOW????????????????????????????????????????????????

Dudes are collecting the homeless paintings and selling them. 

So the painting wasn’t---

OKAY, WAIT. 

The mural (plural?) isn't supernatural. 

Despite being completely finished and all materials being cleared away before Mulder appeared on the crime scene. 

Despite two arthouse dealers swiping it before Mulder even walked away from the crime scene. 

Despite them swiping it (hauling a ladder over, climbing it, unpinning the painting or whatever, climbing down, and scooting off) within minutes of Mulder seeing it from the window, checking the cameras, and going out to investigate.

With police swarming everywhere. After Mulder let the head of the team know he wanted to investigate the mural.  

What. 

Scully’s still dealing with this alone, ‘kay. 

Not against that, either, because Mulder is busy and that is a thing he would do, even in his 50s. It’s how he operates. It’s how Scully expects him to operate. It’s how he operated when his own mother was on her deathbed (and after.) So, nice. 

Maggie’s gonna get extubated. 

The William screen thing keeps happening. Wish it WOULDN’T. At least do a zoom-in or weird camera angle then, not when Scully’s weirdly stumbling down the stairs. 

Mulder’s here. That’s nice. Another thumbs up from me. 

THIS is how you do character development: both characters acted on their modus operandi, but Mulder has grown enough to set aside time for Scully, to be there for her and help her. This isn’t after her mother’s death or after tragedy or after the truth has slipped through his fingers, this is during the long wait. Mulder’s still himself, but he’s also grown, too; and that growth hasn’t been shoved in our faces or jumped from A to B without proper explanation. Here, we get to see him make the choice and grow as a person. Further, Scully’s reaction lets us know this is NEW for her partner; and that she’s immensely grateful and touched to know he won’t leave her to do this alone.

THAT’s how it’s done. 

Case stuff, who cares. 

Mulder can’t stay. Scully’s going through it, doesn’t understand why her mother’s done what she’s done. Even Mulder’s surprised. 

Disclaimer: this isn't The X-Files of old. These scenes may be good-- excellently acted, not too shabbily written-- but Mulder and Scully still don’t feel like Mulder or Scully. The characters (when not poorly written or wildly butchered) don’t even come close to the essence of IWTB, at times: as badly as that movie fell apart, at least Mulder and Scully retained a spark of their original selves. Here? DD and GA act as twins or doppelgangers. They’re not Mulder and Scully, they’re Clone!Mulder and Clone!Scully who exist separately from the juvenile nature of the cases they investigate, who exist only to sit near each other and talk over their past, and whose very existence and nature are determined by the writing flavor of the week. There’s no cohesion and no point to the plots-- there’s only a hint of Mulder and Scully, and, hopefully, a quiet second for the characters to absorb. And that’s not even a guarantee, anymore. 

Mulder following after Scully and gently pulling her back when Maggie needs to be extubated-- good character moment. Scully not caring about the bigger questions right now-- also a good character moment.

The unfortunate darting on Scully’s top makes it look like she’s really cold in that hospital. (What an oddly constructed shirt, anyway. …Kinda just want to stare, marveling that it’s both: stiff and silkyish, has buttons and doesn’t, and isn’t naturally low-cut but is? ...I don’t miss 2015's fashion.)  

A Home music number as someone gets murdered? Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

Buuuuut why the lady and not the politician-police-guy? What? Why? 

ANOTHER bit of character growth: not only does Mulder show up, but he stays. Ding, ding, ding! Good writer, that’s a good writer! 

Though this all washes over and away because it’s in service of a Not-Maggie, so. Consider my investment shot. 

Here are the lines I always read in gif sets:

“Back in the day, didn’t we ever come across the ability to just… wish someone back to life?”

“I invented it. When you were back in the hospital. Like this.” 

“You’re a dark wizard, Mulder.” 

See, those lines coulda been cheesy; but they were tempered and calmly handled. (Good writers, good writers, who’s a good writer!) 

“What else is new?” Mulder adds, and laughs at his own joke. Self-deprecation and amusement in that one. And Scully is cheered up a little by it, too. Thumbs up, DD and GA.

Charlie called. Scully begging Charlie to “do what I can’t do” caught Mulder’s attention, as it did mine. That’s an interesting dynamic that could have been explored: she said it quite flippantly; and that’s a VERY big “I’ve just held you back” tell.

Aww, well. A question for a better series, I suppose. 

AND Scully thinks Maggie will come back if Charlie talks to their mom. WOW, okay, that’s a lot... and will never be explored again. Ah, well. Again, a better series. 

Charlie sounds how I expected him to, huh. 

OH, NOW Maggie wakes up. 

They all think it’s a miracle and then Maggie thinks Mulder’s Charlie. That made me laugh, I’m sorry. …Or am I? 

WAIT, she didn't, scratch that. It's worse.

Maggie came back to say, “My son… is named William, too.” 

Um. 

Uuuuuuuuuuum. 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM. 

She really woke up, recognized both of them, then ignored her daughter, grabbed onto Mulder, and commiserated with HIM about their sons named William. As if she related to all of Mulder’s hardships and gave Scully absolutely zero grace or mercy. 

That’s cold.  

AND SCULLY’S SO DEVASTATED because she woke up that morning not knowing her mother had effectively cut her out of her life. Because of the past. Because of William. 

WAIT. Wait. wait WAIT. 

None of this makes sense. 

Scully has been seeing ‘William’ all day on her phone. At first, we the audience assume that’s her continual guilt. 

It’s revealed Maggie has open wounds over ‘William’, as well. 

Maggie wakes up only to utter “My son… is named William, too”, which suddenly introduces a supernatural element to the messages on Scully’s phone. 

But the only time Scully’s gotten supernatural messages in the past is from MELISSA. 

So did Melissa try to connect with Scully to prepare her for Maggie’s final message before Maggie woke up? Did Melissa do that ever since Maggie collapsed, from the very first phonecall Scully received? 

And if that’s the case… did Melissa hang out with Maggie in that forest with Ahab, but try to make connections with her living sister to prepare her?

And if so………………….. That’s the worst possible way to do it, giving Scully new layers of guilt and depression from failing her mother and reliving the moment she failed her son. 

That’s… that’s. Melissa levels of unawareness, but she’s supposed to be all-knowing or less… Melissa in the afterlife, right???? If this is even Melissa????

And if it wasn’t Melissa, WHAT WAS THIS ALL ABOUT?????

Maggie wanted Charlie, she wakes when he talks, she ignores Scully completely-- who’s been by her side since coming back from being on-the-run, supposedly-- and talks about WILLIAM with MULDER. 

It’s all so tangled and confusing. And, just. Mean. So unbelievably mean-spirited. To come back from the brink not when your daughter begs you to but because your son called while keeping said daughter and your other son out of the loop-- Bill was called by chance, after all-- and never leave clearer answers or messages or love or anything.... 

Wow. 

Wow, wow, wow. 

Tena’s was the worst death, but this angers me just as much because they did this to Maggie. 

Yep, she’s dead. 

SHE NEVER SAID A WORD TO CHARLIE, EITHER. 

Her estranged son finally called and she died without speaking a word to him, or looking around for his voice, or anything. 

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow I’m mad. 

At least the episode’s not pretending to be a casefile. 

UH OH, here comes the (can’t remember the name, help me out) morgue bed. Scully’s panicking over it, Mulder has to go wrangle her (gently) AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I’VE FELT THE ESSENCE OF SCULLY other than a smirk or a smile. THAT’s Scully-- the fire, the fury, the indignation. 

“Margaret” is what Mulder calls Maggie. Can’t remember if that’s canonical, either. Oh, wait, he called her “Mrs. Scully” in the past. Eh, it makes sense he changed it to Margaret. 

Wait, does that mean “Maggie” was her husband’s endearment, and everyone else called her “Margaret?” The “Scully” and “Dana” nicknaming duality got a little more layered. If, if, if.  

Scully’s beating herself up about William, but at least she says, “That we gave away” which means she considers Mulder a part of herself and her decision (and that he’s drilled that truth into her head until it stuck.) 

“Why did she say that?” Because the script told her actress to do so. “Why did she have to say that?” I know, cruel, isn’t it?

Not getting Mulder from this scene, either. David can act, but he’s tooooooooooo… muted, here. Mulder would have given a little more. 

The last frame hanging on his face is okay, though. Still too… muted. 

Only one type of spray paint on crime scene evidence, one search on Scully’s part, next clue found in three seconds. Because that’s how life works. 

Scully still struggling with her mother’s death, not clued in. Mulder whistling after leaving the shop, really subtle, but a fine character tidbit. 

SCULLY JUST DROPKICKED THE--

NO. 

NO. 

NO. 

THAT’S NOT HOW PHYSICS WORK. 

SCULLY’S LITTLE TWIG ARMS AND LEG AREN'T TAKING ANYONE DOWN-- LET ALONE A GROWN MAN-- WITH A TEENY TWIST-FLIP-KICK MANEUVER, ON STILTS. 

WHAT. I thought that scene happened in the computer simulation whatever episode. WHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT. 

I can hear 90s David screaming about feminism from here. 

The case continues to descend into “who cares?"ville.

The kid gets away because Mulder doesn’t do stairs anymore. And though we're all with Mulder in spirit, this is his job.

“Mulder, back in the day I used to do ‘stairs’ and in three-inch heels.” ‘Kay, Barbie. But Ken didn’t. 

“Back in the day…. Scully, back in the day is ‘now.’” …..

………..

……………

……………….

What. 

What did that dialogue have to do with the kid getting away and Mulder not chasing him? If “back in the day is now”, then Mulder would have done stairs and caught the kid.

“Back in the day is now” doesn’t make sense even if you two flash your lights over it. 

OH, LOOK, THE FLASHLIGHTS ARE CROSSING AGAIN, GET IT. 

We’re, like, four episodes in and Mulder and Scully are still slowly getting back in the groove of The X-Files. 

OH, LOOK, THE CAMERA SHOT IS HOLDING ON THE FLASHLIGHTS MAKING AN X, DID YOU NOTICE IT YET???? Yes, yes we did. 

WHAT WAS THAT. A rubber mask and suit popped out, hit the wall in front of them, and fell back into the shadows????

That was as convincing as the rabbit fur puppets mauling Gillian’s face. 

Hurry it up, I don’t care about the case. 

Mulder doesn’t do stairs but can kick the door in with one try in his tight, tight Patriarchy Pants. 

I can hear 90s David screaming about feminism from here. 

Grotesque clay masks, got it. Okay. All right. I’m bored. 

A new character, the garbage man, is going on about homeless being treated like trash. ‘Kay. 

He’s the artist? What. Doesn’t... what. He wouldn’t have time to put up the art after the murder but before--

Forget it. 

Oh, it wasn’t him. They were… supernatural? What. 

THIS TRASH GUY MADE A TULPA OUT OF TRASH. 

HOW DARE YOU RIP OFF MY TRASH BABY TULPA EPISODE. HOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU. 

I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS TRASH RIPPING OFF MY TRASH. 

GET OUTTA HERE. 

ACTUALLY GET OUTTA HERE. GO ON, SHOO. BEAT IT. SCRAM. GET LOST. 

AND NOW THEY’RE SAYING 'TULPA' WAS A MISTRANSLATION????? OH, THAT’S RICH. SO WHAT HAPPENED IN ARCADIA WASN’T A TULPA, BUT THIS ONE MIGHT BE. 

THAT’S REAL CUTE. 

A realized Tibetan thought form would never harm someone or kill. 

But what if… hang on with me a second… what if it already did? 

This guy willed it, so it happened. 

This is giving Scully an idea. Guess she’s gonna manifest Maggie from the dead. Or manifest William from the clouds, I suppose. Or manifest herself a better wig, I reckon. 

WHAT IN THE EXISTENCE FLASHBACKS IS THIS. HOW IS SCULLY COMPARING HER SON’S BIRTH TO WILLING A MONSTER INTO EXISTENCE?????? I, I, WHAT. NO. NO, DON’T DO THIS. THIS IS BAD, THIS IS VERY NOT GOOD. 

“He came to me,” the guy explains, and Scully now thinks William came to her???

Is… is this a revelation or a mental breakdown????????

“But in the end, he told me what he wanted to be.” 

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??? IMPLYING THAT WILLIAM WANTED TO BE PUT UP FOR ADOPTION-- SHOWING HIM CRYING IN S9-- IN ORDER TO GIVE SCULLY SOME CLOSURE ON THAT MATTER AFTER HER MOTHER’S RECENT DEATH???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

NO ONE TOLD ME THIS. NO ONE WARNED ME. 

THE AUDACITY OF THE WRITERS.  

SHAME, ACTUAL SHAME, ON THEM. 

…I will take all this back if the script does, but WHAT IN THE WORLD. THIS IS INSANE. 

Never have I EVER seen Scully so broken mentally. Wow. Morgan and Wong or Morgan or Wong love her character? I’d think they view her as the band aid on their shoe. Wow. 

(Note from the future: They don't take back any of this implication, only gaslight us into believing Scully was thinking a totally other, very normal thing about "responsibility." Which is utter doodoo.)

“All we do, is hold the pencil. All we do, is hold the clay. I think there must be spirits or souls--” GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT FIELD WHERE I DIED GARBAGE. GET. OUT. YOU BUTCHERED THAT EPISODE THROUGH YOUR OWN SHEER INCOMPETENCE, YOU CAN’T TRY TO REWRITE IT NOW THROUGH ANOTHER LENS TO MAKE US SWALLOW YOUR POISON LIKE PUNCH. 

GET. 

OUT. 

OF. 

HERE. 

“And if you think so hard, if you want them real bad, they’ll come to you.” 

Stunning. 

A thought experiment that would be interesting to tap into when explaining the *insert words* of The Field Where I Died’s plot, but is ABSOLUTELY. IRRESPONSIBLY. IDIOTIC. here in light of the sheer amount of trauma you are putting Scully through, right this second. 

Full disclosure: I don’t care how many bad things are done to the characters-- I really don’t-- IF those experiences give weight or add to their stories or history. THIS, HOWEVER, DOES NOT. 

I’M FURIOUS. I’M SO FURIOUS I MIGHT TEAR UP. 

HOW DARE YOU INSERT EXISTENCE FLASHBACKS TO--

i’m done. let’s just move on. 

I’m struck anew with how these characters aren’t Mulder and Scully-- not even S9 Scully-- when both scenes are positioned back-to-back. 

I just knew this episode would be butchered, but never would I ever…. 

By the way, to catch us back up to speed, Scully’s having this… revelation while a garbage man rambles about the MURDERING THOUGHT FORM he dreamt into being. 

Also, the cuts and flashbacks A. reinforce my disdain of this series, B. are cheesy and corny, and C. are ham-fisted and clunky. You know how it should have been done? Without the flashbacks. Not one soul who is watching this episode needs to be hand-held through Scully’s memories, especially ones we’ve already seen mere minutes ago. 

Scully’s clutching her cross after remembering her mom’s words, ‘kay. 

I LAUGHED AGAIN. 

Mulder’s been listening to this guy and looks over and does a doubletake because Scully’s frozen LIKE THIS: 

Mental. Health. 

Also, considering what happens to Jackson’s character later on… this episode is kind of implying Scully was so terrified by the constant tragedy in her life that she willed a tulpa-alien-god baby into existence (or WOULD have, if given the opportunity, which is worse) for her own selfish reasons, or for the world’s protection; then yeeted it to the adoption agency, anyway. (Note from the future: This implication doesn't make broad canonical sense, and is kinda reverted, later, but:) ...Which plugs dangerously well into her disavowal of William in My Struggle IV. Which makes me hate Home Again even more.

(Also also, that turns Scully into Arcadia's Gogolak. Stellar writing.)

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, have to break this down. 

If Scully thought William into existence, he wouldn’t be a normal baby in S8. Which he was. He also wouldn’t be a magic baby with independent will in S9 (who is closer to the alien DNA kids in Founder’s Mutation that cut themselves out of their moms to survive, but ANYWAY.) He’d be a thought form controlled by one impulse. A tulpa. Or-- let’s extrapolate-- a Supersoldier like Billy Miles. Which he wasn’t.

If Scully is comparing herself to the Syndicate that brought beings into a tormented existence for their own ends (or to the garbage guy’s intent) and is… freed? by that thought…. She needs help-- not “go to therapy, babe”, no, actual, real, extensive help outside of the FBI and away from work, period, for awhile. That’s so incredibly unbalanced it’s… kinda scary. 

Also, again, if Scully willed Jackson into Existence-- say, by touching the alien spaceship?-- the timeline wouldn’t match her late S7 pregnancy-- but what else is new-- but would condemn her for Jackson’s later erratic actions, anyway. 

And therefore, Scully becoming pregnant in My Struggle IV would have to be an actual, literal miracle because she didn’t taint it with a thought-form or alien DNA or any other thing this episode or Founder’s Mutation or the other Struggles are suggesting.

Any of these possibilities are foul. If William exists, he’d have to be a normal baby (as he was until the writers changed him) or it would crumble the very meaning of his birth and the leadup to it from Requiem to Existence. 

It. just. doesn’t. make. sense. and. continues. to. be. cruel. 

Scully now thinks she’s responsible for “making the problem” and Mulder’s like “huH” and “UHOH” at the same time. 

Okay, let’s say M+W or M or W take the aforementioned implication back: this scene is utterly and unfathomably cruel, a cherry on top of the other cruelty they put Scully through this episode. 

I’m gonna say it: at least Chris Carter gave William to Scully. 

“You’re just as bad as the people that you hate,” a.k.a. "You did a bad thing by playing god and creating life only to abandon it." 

Thanks M+W, I really needed “Scully comparing herself to the Consortium” on my list of Unexpected Things to Hate, that was nice. 

NOW the tulpa’s going after the politician-policeman. Not before killing the woman who wanted the homeless on the streets if they preferred, but after, now that he's moving them into a nicer facility. 

Oh, the guy’s soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo evil because one of the homeless people's dog’s temporarily at an animal shelter. Well, yeah it was kinda evil to separate them (temporarily.) Had to make politician-police dude eviler, I guess. 

He smells something bad, oh, nooooooooooo…………….

Guys, gonna be honest. How’s this politician-police-whoever guy bad? He’s callous, but he’s moving the unhoused into housing where they can, hopefully, have better access to resources to get back on their feet. 

…What’s the moral here? That no one treats them like people, therefore the tulpa or thought form will kill indiscriminately? Even if the homeless might be benefiting? That the garbage man just didn’t like HOW policeman-politician-whoever was operating, so thought up a tulpa to kill him and the others?

Slow clap for the stupidest morality tale I’ve seen in a bit. 

I. just. Can the writers craft an episode where the homeless are actually being victimized? 

Oh, wait, the 90s already did that. Huh. 

Poli-man’s about to be murdered. Mulder and Scully arrive and gently jaunt down the hall towards his screams. That’s cute. 

They were literally FOUR. SECONDS. too late. Then don’t express a sense of remorse or whatever that they were. And this guy isn’t villain- enough to be given zero remorse, c’mon, save that for the big 'uns. 

Tulpa’s vanishing instead of walking away, I guess. 

Scully’s too calm for acknowledging they just heard politician-policeman die. He was screaming for help and you two didn’t speed up. 100% they wouldn’t be able to pass the FBI field tests. A witness-victim-whatever just died because they were FOUR SECONDS late, that shouldn't have happened.

The gymnastics of this plot, summed up: 

Monster always leaves band aids behind, I guess. 

Garbage man made the band aid sculpture’s face into a smiley so it's gone forever, I GUESS. 

Wait, LAKE SCENE??

THAT’S IT???

THIS IS IT??????????????????????

“I know now why Mom asked for Charlie even if he was out of her life.” OH, THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD and not  A. “she’s a mom, so she loved and missed him” or B. “she created him so he mattered.” Because neither of those answers explains what she did and didn’t do or say to the two children that stuck by her. 

*sharpens harpoon*

*THUNK*

I KNEW IT. 

SHE WANTED TO KNOW BEFORE SHE LEFT THAT HE’D BE OKAY. 

Then WHY did she ignore Charlie on the phone and TALK TO MULDER while laying on another layer of guilt about William WITH HER DAUGHTER, who'd been pleading for Maggie to come back to her, RIGHT THERE???

Just because Maggie “gave birth to him” doesn’t mean anything. 

Like. 

Guys. 

Of course she wants to know her son’s okay, of course. She raised him, she loved him, etc. 

But. But but but. 

If she’s the loving mother we all knew from the OG series that SUDDENLY took a dive into secrecy and distrust and guilt-tripping, there would have been signs. Scully missed all of them, didn’t even know her mom had her living will signed by other veteran sailors (AND WHO ARE THEY?), doesn't even know what the quarter lore is.

 You can’t have Maggie want to know her baby’s okay while actively neglecting and ignoring the others. You can’t. 

*sharpens second, third, and fourth harpoon*

“She made him. He’s her responsibility.” 

*THUNKKITY THUNK THUNK*

OH. MY. WORD. 

THIS IS SO TWISTED. 

Scully is now being guilted for giving up William, AGAIN, because she needs to "take responsibility" for him. 

Canonically, she gave him up because she was taking responsibility for him-- to protect him, to take care of him. 

And whether that decision was justified or not-- it wasn’t-- S9 Scully and IWTB Scully and pre-this-episode Scully and Mulder made the best they could of that decision for their son’s sake.

A.k.a. Responsibility. 

HOW DOES THAT TRANFSER ONTO MAGGIE? What responsibility does she have to take?? Perhaps she drove Charlie away?? But none of her behavior thus far would have driven him away. 

So, not only has Maggie’s character been harpooned on her deathbed, but her past off-screen behavior must also be harpooned in order to justify that "responsibility" line: a.k.a., she must have been a horrible person to Charlie, and must want to take responsibility for that action now. 

Because “responsibility” doesn’t fit IF Charlie walked away of his own accord for his own reasons, separate from his mother’s actions or behavior. 

Also, “responsibility” doesn’t fit PERIOD with either scenario: Scully already took responsibility for William when she sent him away (as stupidly as that decision was written, it wasn’t written for any other pretense) but Maggie DIDN’T take “responsibility” because she didn’t even apologize or question or talk to or whatever with Charlie. She did it WITH MULDER, and even THEN she was urging HIM to take responsibility of William, if anything. 

Know what’s worse? They’re saying all the pain Scully is going through (and put Mulder and her family through) is because she hasn’t taken responsibility for William, and that she needs to go find him and make it right. IGNORING THE FACT THAT IT WAS REVIVAL MULDER, NOT SCULLY, WHO PUT WILLIAM BEHIND HIM. IF ANYTHING, IT WAS SCULLY WHO TOOK RESPONSIBILITY ALL THESE YEARS. 

Which means Scully is culpable for everyone’s emotions and pain and trauma because she gave her son away for his safety. AND I DON’T EVEN AGREE WITH HER DECISION-- there’s no way she would have given William up, and most certainly not that way-- BUT YOU WRITE SCULLY INTO AN IMPOSSIBLE SITUATION, THEN PUNISH AND REVICTIMIZE HER AT THE HANDS OF HER OWN MOTHER IN ORDER TO "OWN UP" TO "RESPONSIBILITY." 

I’m... pretty mad.

I should be furious, really, because this does unfathomable damage to… everyone. But My Struggle I's and Founder’s Mutation's brain rot runs deeper-- by comparison this is a 0.5 to its -1,000,000. 

At least we know what the coin necklace date was supposed to mean: the date Charlie walked out of Maggie’s life. “Responsibility” and all that garbage.  

“She wanted us to be responsible…. To make sure William’s okay, even if we can’t see him.” That is NOT what Maggie said, and that is NOT what she meant. “My son… is named William, too” was a commiserating statement spoken to MULDER, indicating he, like her, suffered from an estrangement. And who would be the enforcer or creator of that estrangement? The same woman who broke up with Mulder over depression (before he had a meltdown or breakdown, despite knowing his history of suicidal tendencies.) 

The Revival does Scully (and her mother… and Mulder…) so dirty it’s. Ugh. 

Can someone knock Not-Maggie's ashes over onto the ground or something? That way she can join her brethren, the dirt.  

Let’s be honest, this Home Again should have been further down the season. ‘Cuz if Babylon’s next… guess they didn’t look for William. 

Scully’s smoker voice makes its first appearance, ugh. Code broken: GA uses smoker voice when Scully is feeling teary or depressed. 

UGH. 

“...To keep him safe. That it was for his own good to put him up for adoption. But I can’t help but think of him, Fox.” The requires the special 'what', *ahem*: WAHT. 

“I believe you will find all of your answers--” ALL. OF. YOUR. ANSWERS?

“And I will be there when you do.” WHEN YOU DO?! What is she, an elementary school teacher holding Mulder's hand while he explores around the gymnasium??????????????? Where’s the Scully who insisted this was her quest, too???? ...wwwwwWHAT.

This is. This is. Guys. Why. 

“But my mysteries… I’ll never have answered.” 

Um. Scully can’t figure out how to find William?

She can’t, just, go back to the agency and offer to connect with her son? 2012’s over-- the world might end, still, but CSM’s dead (as far as she knows), APPARENTLY there are no aliens or Supersoldiers, and no one’s cared about her and Mulder getting back on the files.... Where is THIS coming from???? Just ring up the agency, Scully! 

UUUUUUUUUG.

“...If he’s ever been afraid, and wishes I were there. Does he doubt himself, because we left him?”

While Scully continues to speak, I must add: Mulder looks like a browbeaten 50s housewife. I love watching DD’s acting as much as GA’s, but David’s giving nothing here. I KNOW it’s a direction issue because he’s been consistently this key the entire episode (except for the... comedy or “dark wizard” scene) so SOMEONE wants Mulder to be this way. But.  

But it doesn’t line up with his character from the previous eps.  

And the previous episodes don’t line up with each other. 

And all the Revival eps. don't line up with IWTB.

Or S9.

Or canon.

Etc., etc.  

“What… questions does he have of me? The same that I have of this quarter?” Um. I thought we concluded that was the date Charlie walked out. 

Isn’t Scully the investigator, here? Maggie kept that quarter necklace secret, Maggie kept her health secret, and Maggie only wanted to talk to Charlie-- ergo, Charlie’s connected to the quarter necklace. And if it’s not his birthday, it’s the date he left. Ergo, voila. 

“And I want to believe--” yeah, yeah, yeah, “--that we didn’t treat him like trash.” 

This doesn’t match. 

The writing treated him like trash because Scully was written to give him up for no reason. (Perhaps "like garbage" is a fun dig at CC's decision, but Scully ends up taking the damage for it.)

Scully herself didn’t treat William like trash-- she was trying to protect him. 

In short: writers = trash; Scully = not trash. Scully’s decision = trash, Scully’s canonical reason = not trash. 

Are we following canon now, writers? Have you caught up WITH YOUR OWN SHOW?

Mulder decides against talking, opting to pull her into a hug, instead. 

Um. 

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhere’s the reassurance, Mulder. You reassured her in Founder’s Mutation quite soundly, but not. Here. When she’s in crisis.

Groovy. Stellar. Ugh.  

...WELP, that’s the end, I GUESS. 

CONCLUSION

What. was. that. 

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[kingarthurflourofficial]

september/october reads

this was a SLOW season rip but we push on!

tongues of serpents 4.5/5 (i loveeee an exile book.)

victory of eagles 4.5/5 (oh you KNOW we cried during the war crimes)

catfishing on catnet 3.5/5 (solidly good speculative sci fi that was surprisingly sweet!)

starling house 3/5 (i do not Care about your straight people relationships give me that sweet sweet polyamory. once again it would literally fix everything!)

skunk and badger 4/5 (love an autistic MC)

egg marks the spot 3.5/5 (a little too much danger in this one!)

the third wife of faraday house DNF (the number of terrible jane eyre rip offs in this world..........)

all friends are necessary 4/5 (this book! is everything that's best about summer and about hooking up with your friends and coming to terms with grief and finding good people and holding on to them tightly and letting the soft animal of your body love what it loves!)

the strange case of the alchemist's daughter DNF (not through any fault of the book! it just reads like a YA book vs an adult one and i wasn't in the mood for it)

winter's orbit 4/5 (read this one on ao3 a longggg time ago but really enjoyed this updated version as well!)

ocean's echo 4/5 (likewise! not quite as much as winter's orbit but still very good)

hum 2/5 (IRRITATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HERE AND WHAT WAS THE POINT OF IT! god i am still so full of rage over this like two months later rip so i guess if the point is to infuriate the reader the author succeeded? otherwise only read if you want to shriek like a tea kettle on the boil)

ballet shoes 5/5 (an EXCELLENT expurgation of the above - what a delight this book is! and i can't wait to see the stage show with my lover in a month!)

the silvered 4.5/5 (now THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS HOW YOU DO IT! take note @ alix harrow this is how you write a 'straight' couple and then fix literally all the problems by means of werewolves + polyamory)

the disasters DNF (victim of the enshittification of YA)

someone you can build a nest in 4.5/5 (add this to the list of queer books that are not defanged! you're reading it and begging the author not to be a coward and then they're NOT a coward and in fact they're the encapsulation of the why are you booing me i'm right meme. tldr; this book is fucking fantastic)

reverie DNF (literally have none of these YA writers heard! of an editor!)

how to become the dark lord and die trying 4/5 (feels weird giving this the FUN and SEXY nomer but it was! and also didn't shy away from the inevitable horror of a time loop! a+ work!)

dead country DNF (another one where it's not the book's fault - just wasn't the right time and place for me to read it)

the lies of locke lamora DNF (WHY can i not get through this book! i've enjoyed it! but can i finish it?! no!)

the exiles 5/5 (hilary mckay you will ALWAYS! be famous!)

the exiles at home 5/5 (SEE ABOVE)

the exiles in love 5/5 ((SEE ABOVE!!!!!!!!))

the manor house governess DNF (one of those books where you RUN to goodreads to see if anyone else has picked up on the same things you did and thank GOD many people did. girl (gn) you cannot write a 'gothic' novel like this! what is wrong with you!)

literally. so much astolat fic.

also. an insane amount of sga fic.

also. a 630k xfiles fic ((i don't even GO here)).

ozma of oz 4/5

jingo 5/5 (sometimes you just need the home comfort of a pratchett)

a taste of copper 3.5/5 (love a period love story that is meticulously researched and likewise written! straight out of howard pyle!)

[casuallycryingoverbooks]

The night she had returned from Philadelphia Scully’s nose bled again.

She wasn’t an idiot.

She knew the signs and resigned herself to booking a doctor’s appointment in the morning. She still, believe it or not, had some friends-turned-acquaintances from her med school days. Among them was Julia Oakes, leading oncologist at Holy Cross Memorial Hospital.

Scully would make arrangements in the morning, go sometime in the next week before work, but for now she laid against her pillow and let the blood pool under her cheek, she’d toss the pillow case in the wash when she got up.

She considered calling someone, expressing her fears, but who would she tell? She couldn’t startle her mother with mere suspicion. Melissa was dead. Charlie was out following in their father’s footsteps and would not be home for several months, as far as she knew. Billy- well. Forget about Bill. And don’t even start about Mulder.

She didn’t think that she would even be able to look at him in the morning. Not out of embarrassment, because Scully wasn’t embarrassed. No. Scully couldn’t face him at the risk of spontaneous combusting from the rage that was coursing under her skin.

And congratulations for making an personal appearance in the Xfiles for the second time. It’s a world’s record.

How dare he. How dare he look at her like he was better than her. Like she was the villain for wanting something and having it go south. Wasn’t that his life story? He wanted to investigate an x-file and ended up getting injured. He wanted to find his sister and only got laughed at.

She was done. Not done with the x-files, she was fairly sure she was about to go down with that particular ship.

No.

She was done with him. She was done trying to be his friend, to help, to be his- something more. It was exhausting and quite frankly he didn’t deserve it and god dammit the blood was leaking in her mouth.

The coppery taste reminded her of rage.

She hated him. She vowed to herself that she would hold onto that rage in the coming months. That she wouldn’t let his akward, soft smile and apologies weaken her resolve,

But as the blood trickled down her neck she disdainfully admitted to herself that it wasn’t likely a promise she would keep.

[agentnatesewell]

I’m here to ask very politely for any little tidbits of info you have about Suri, because I love her a lot. Mentally I’m blowing her a kiss rn 💙

Hello my most wonderful friend! I cherish and adore you very much. Yes! Would love to share some tidbits!

* After college (Rebecca got in rather swiftly with the plagiarism scandal with Bobby and shut it all down and cleared her name), Suri volunteered with UNESCO and ended up working for an NGO based out of Paris … how she ended up in Wayhaven started with her trying to get heritage protection status for her hometown

* Suri wears three-inch heels because Dana Scully wore three-inch heels when she was out on investigations … she can easily run in them. Not so easy in some parts of the forest that she’s always in now

* Speaking of Dana Scully, whenever she’s feeling the loss of her parents (Rebecca’s absence), she curls up and watches the Xfiles, with no lights on. Mulder and Scully she always thought were Rook and Rebecca (little more goofy for Rook, but you know, there’s the whole sister angle, too)

* Her favorite food is wedding cake

(There are a lot more)

* She didn’t grow up religious (though her grandfather is Muslim), but her favorite song she’s ever heard from a religious establishment is Schubert’s “Ave Maria”

* When she and Nate adopt a cute little terrier with more personality than both of them combined, she’ll name them Bishop

* She’s very, very in love with Nate Sewell. Attraction immediately, but fell in love with him during the carnival undercover (the drive home after the mirror scene)

* The NSYNC song Selfish describes how’s she’s feeling about her relationship with Nate after the not-breakup/sounds like a breakup relationship talk at the end of b3

* She knows Wayhaven inside and out, can tell you anything about everything and can walk around blindfolded and not be lost

* Suri doesn’t hate Bobby, she feels sorry for him most of the time, and tolerates/sometimes likes him. He was her first boyfriend. Speaking of exes, one of them, a sweet musician named Farr dedicated an album to her called The Jasmine Room (her middle name is Yasmine)

* She speaks/understands a smattering of languages including English, Arabic, French, Spanish, Italian, and Estonian

* She has an unspoken, semi-obvious crush on Morgan

* Her relationship with Rebecca is not good. At all. She feels as though Rebecca allowed Rook to die a second time by never, ever talking about him. A huge part of her life, hidden

Okay! I could go on but here are a few tidbits! Thank you again!

[mlobsters]

supernatural s4e11 family reunions

DEAN And what am I running from?

SAM From what you told me. Or are we pretending that never happened?

you fucking tell him, sam.

i'm not sure what i know her from really, she's been in a lot of things. could be old old supergirl, or even her uncredited role in a seinfeld episode because those have all been seared into my brain. maybe city slickers!!

seinfeld s3e19 the good samaritan - helen slater as becky gelke (uncredited)

helen slater in city slickers (1991) and supergirl (1984)

and me just realizing in my head city slickers and when harry met sally take place in the same universe because of billy crystal and the dude the with mustache are in both.

the magicians s2e1 knight of crowns - karin konoval as the kitchen witch

AND I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT

i did not watch this season because it was post-the Very Bad Thing involving quentin coldwater, but they in fact DID NOTHING with the candy (kitchen) witch. NOTHING HAPPENED. she had quentin's blood. no nothing. the end. fuck you. *bitterness intensifies* maybe that was their little joke. i've let go a lot of my feelings about sera and how she was involved with the magicians fuck up, it sure seems like a lot of it is on the other showrunner john mcnamara (and honestly realizing how young she was when she started writing on spn had something to do with it, hell she's younger than i am), but she was involved and things like this get my back up all over again. deep breaths.

okay karin konoval has also been in 3 episodes of the xfiles - two iconic ones and one.. i don't remember at all.

the xfiles s3e4 clyde bruckman's final repose / s4e2 home (it was her 😩)

the xfiles s11e3 (2018) plus one

me: that looks like the 13 reasons why kid, but i bet it isn't, i would have noticed when i looked up the rest of the cast. oh. it is.

for something i actually enjoyed (the docudrama about elizabeth holmes, it's really well done),

the dropout (2022) s1e6 iron sisters - dylan minnette as tyler shulz

why are we getting to know this family and their issues. emotional music swelling, what are we doing on a farm, talking about zucchini.

this, i think, was a much better spooky implementation of climbing inside the walls vs that episode with jo.

ok.

now this feels like an actual homage that landed for the x-files home episode. nice little circle getting one of the actors from it too.

doesn't dean already carry enough guilt, did they really need to put 10 years of enjoying torturing souls on top of it. edgelord shit.

sometimes media crosses this line with me where i feel like it's emotional manipulation and i get pissy. like if a show is engineered to make you cry a minimum once an episode (looking at you this is us), it really puts me off and i'll lose interest. in this case, i'm heavily invested in the characters, but the angst despair anxiety etc.. at some point, i get mad about it. walking a fine line right now.

[scullysexual]

Emily lived au and is now an FBI agent lol.

I've had this idea in my head a while now and just got the urge to write it. Perhaps in the future there'll be more to this (since I really should not be starting ANOTHER multi-chapter) but depending on how well this is received, I may or may not write another chapter- idk yet. Anyway the premise is: What if Emily survived, became an FBI agent and began to investigate the X-Files in this year of 2022/23? That's pretty much it.

Also, thank you X-Files archive book for essentially being Mulder/Emily's case files for this fic. I will be depending you on heavily in the future.

This is definitely more Emily as the main character fic and m/s and msr in general is just in the background but m/s will definitely be making their appearances here and there- the xfiles are theirs after all.

Also, idk how the FBI works and I didn't do any research before writing this so I probably got tons wrong. I'm sorry

@today-in-fic

The gravel crunches beneath the wheels, signalling her arrival before she even got to the front door. In front of her, she spies a shift in the blind and the brief appearance of a face before it disappears and the blind shifts back to its original position. She was always so good at showing up unannounced.

Emily exits her rental, not bothering to lock the doors (benefits to living in the middle of nowhere) and climbs up the creaky porch steps. She doesn’t even need to knock. She listens to the familiar sound of a thousand locks be unlocked, a wisp of a smile gracing her lips at the memory of coming home from school in winter and having to wait what felt like hours in the freezing cold just to be let in, with November’s chill in the air she could almost be twelve years old again right now.

Eventually the door is unlocked and open wide, revealing Mulder, her father, in the doorway.

“Welcome home, Special Agent Sim,” he says.

A blush spreads across her cheeks and she turns her head down. The title still sounded brand new, like it should belong to somebody else, not little old ill her.

“I guess I never did thank you for fudging the medical records, did I?”

“They’re irrelevant,” Mulder says. “But I knew they wouldn’t accept you into the academy if they saw them so…” he shrugs the rest of the sentence away. “What brings you all the way here anyway?” He moves out of the way, allowing her entry.

She tries not to let the question sting. It’s just a question after all but since moving to DC finding time to come back to her childhood home just didn’t seem available, even phone calls had come few and far between. She told herself it was fine when Will was still home fulltime, perhaps her presence wasn’t missed as much but once her brother moved away to college she should have made more of an effort.

Stepping through to the living room, Emily sits down on the couch, followed shortly by Mulder.

“I have a question actually,” she says once he’s seated. “Before you left the FBI, did you bring any files home with you?”

A darkened look crosses his face. “What kind of files?”

“Just…files.” Her hands move to her lap, fingers fidgeting with each other. “Old files. Unsolved…cases.”

Mulder sighs. “You mean the X-Files.”

She knows her excited look betrays everything.

“Can I ask why you’re asking about them?”

“Curiosity?” Emily sighs. “I overheard people in work talking about them. There’s a rumour they might assign someone to them and if I could have the background on some past cases, see your methods, then I might be able to snag myself the job.”

Mulder stares at you. “This is the job you want?”

Truthfully, no, but her observation skills had been on point since she was a child. Hiding in shadows where nobody would think to look, Emily would observe and listen to what was being said. How many nights did she creep downstairs and overhear conversations between her parents about the X-Files? Knew how much they meant to Mulder, and to fall into the hands of somebody who didn’t care, files and cases that meant nothing to them, Emily couldn’t bear the thought while she was right there. These files, this department, it was almost like a birth right, she had to be the one to man them.

There was another reason too, a personal one. Her name was in one of those files. EMILY SIM. The little girl who bled toxic green blood, who was poked and prodded at, whose cyst scar sits at the back of her neck, hidden from all eyes. There was so much she didn’t know about herself, so much Mulder and her mother kept secret. These files could hold those answers if she looked hard enough.

She doesn’t say all that to Mulder, however. Not once had she brought any of this up before, perhaps waiting for them to tell her instead. They never did. Instead they fudged medical records and told her to stay safe, do not bleed that green blood.

“It’s only right, isn’t it?” she says. “For me to do it and not let someone who doesn’t care or has a totally different agenda investigate them?”

She watches Mulder think it over. Emily knew in his spare time he still looked into X-Files-esque cases but he was no longer a special agent with unique access, those he knew that had that access where all gone, it was just him and Scully with Mulder trying to do what he could from a computer with a dodgy internet connection. But then there was her- Emily- the key to unlock those doors.

“Follow me,” he says, standing.

She does so, venturing into his office. She lingers near the desk whilst Mulder heads over to the filing cabinet. She spies all his alien paraphernalia that clutters the space and smiles. This room was a museum of Mulder’s life, for all the stories it held, and for that reason it was her favourite room in the house.

On the wall she spies the poster. She wanders over to it. It was the same one that had sat in the basement years ago- Yes, she knew about that basement office of course- and now had found its home here. I want to believe stares back at her and she wonders if he does believe now.

“Here they are,” Mulder says, calling her attention back to him. She walks over to where he stands, one of the drawers open, files filing it completely.

Breath caught, Emily stares down at them. One file and all her questions could be answered. Her stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought. Maybe they kept it a secret for a reason, perhaps she didn’t really want to know.

“Not every file is in here,” he tells her and Emily nods. “Those that are were either saved from the fire or recreated by me or someone else. There’s also a lot of missing evidence or it’s been redacted and maybe there just useless but it’s all I have, all anyone has ever been able to find. Hopefully you can gauge something from them.”

She nods again and Mulder begins taking them out, piling them onto her outstretched hands. They did good, Emily thinks all down at the growing pile. There was more than enough here.

“And another thing.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t tell your mother you have these. She’ll kill me.”

There’s a smile on his face so she smiles as well.

“She hasn’t killed you yet.”

“True. But she would if she knew I was putting you in any danger.”

Emily frowns at that, memories of Dana making sure she was always safe and careful appear before her. It was like you were fragile, like you could be broken at any second. You didn’t want that anymore and in your own act of rebellion you chose the riskiest job you could think of, ticked field agent on your application, was handed a gun and chased bad guys for a living, one wrong move and out that toxic green blood would spill.

“I’m a big girl now,” she says, no hint of a smile or joke. Mulder looks at you with sadness that sends the guilt right down to her stomach.

She coughs, attempting to lift the dour atmosphere that’s entered the room.

“Where is Mom anyway? Working?”

“Yeah,” says Mulder, surprised at the sudden change in topic. “She’ll be home soon.”

“You should tell her to retire. I’m sure there’s somebody else around who wants to change kid’s lives.”

Mulder shrugs. “I keeps her busy.”

She makes a noise in agreement, clutching the files, ready to go. She got what she came for and even said hello to a parent, more than enough for the next year, if she remembers to ring in the next six months she can pat herself on the back and say well done.

“Emily,” Mulder calls and it stops her in her tracks. “You should stay tonight. You’ve come all this way and Scully would love to see you again.”

She barged back into their lives without so much a word, one thing on her mind, and was about to up and leave again thinking she’d done her bit, the least she could do is eat some dinner and stay for one night.

“Yeah, I will.”

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

The red files stare up at her, tempting her to open one, to uncover their secrets. She told herself to wait until she was in the comfort of her own house, but there pull is strong, just a little peak—

“There you are.”

Her hand snatches back from the file quicker than it approached it. Emily spins, coming face to face with her mother in the doorway, and shuffles slightly to shield the files with her body.

“You don’t need to hide them,” Scully says, she eyes the spot where the files lay hidden behind Emily’s body, like she can see straight through her daughter and to the contraband on the bed. “Mulder told me, I knew there was something he wanted to say.”

Emily relaxes, shifting to the side to reveal the files. Sadness passes across Scully’s face at the sight of them.

“Why Emily?”

Emily plops down onto the bed, worrying one of the edges of the files.

“Because it’s the right thing to do. If they’re really reopening them then it should be me who does it.”

Scully enters the room, picking up one of the files.

“Have you opened it yet?”

Emily shakes her head.

“You’re worried you’ll find your name in there?”

“Will I?”

Scully sighs, placing the file back down. “You’re file was lost.”

“In the fire?”

“Long before that. I tried to find it one day and it wasn’t in the cabinet anymore. Mulder doesn’t know what happened to it…Not that you need your file…”

Emily waits. She stopped getting her hopes up that her mother would reveal answers to her long ago. Now she just waits, never hoping, just waiting.

“Do you have a partner?”

No answers from Dana Scully tonight it seems.

“Do I need one?”

Scully nods. “It’s better to. This work can be…lonely. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone to be alone with.”

Emily nods. “I’ll find someone.”

“How long are you staying for?”

“One night,” Emily answers. “I really do need to get back.”

It’s Scully’s turn to nod then.

“You should visit more. It’s quiet here now that William’s gone to college and Mulder could do with the company.”

“Yeah,” Emily answers, an idea striking her. “I think I will visit more.”

“Good. We’ll call you when it’s time for dinner, okay.”

Emily smiles. She really could be twelve years old all over again.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

She watches Scully leave and once out of sight, picks up one of the files. It can’t wait until she gets home. Tonight she’ll read each one of them, as carefully and critically as she can. This department is hers.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Snuggled up in her old childhood bed, the bedside lamp casting the room in an orange glow, the wind howling through the trees outside, the files sit, unmoved, on the bed, a messy pile. Emily picks the first one up at random.

X129202                       08/08/93.

TOOMS, Eugene Victor.

This case Emily knew of already. It was told to her as a bed time story of sorts when she was younger, the image of Tooms stretching his way down a chimney, like some fucked up Santa Claus, would stay with her forever. Some of the earlier cases were told to her as stories but her mother soon put a stop to them when Emily had become the unwelcomed member in her bed at night.

She was about to turn the page, to read the less redacted version of this story when she is submerged into darkness. She’d almost forgotten about this house and it’s power cuts always at the worst time.

An old habit, Emily roots through the top drawer in her bedside table in search of the candles that resided in her. Picking one out, she roots through her jean pockets on the floor for her lighter. In a quick, practiced motion, the candle is lit and placed beside the lamp. It was a poor substitute to the much brighter lamp but what was one to do? Satisfied, Emily picks up the file again, glancing over the front page. A shiver runs through her.

“It’s fine,” she says to herself. “Reading creepy old case files by candlelight. Completely normal.”

She turns the page. With the exception of a couple of names having been redacted, it’s mostly readable. Emily quickly reads through it, an echo of her mother’s voice sounding inside her head as she does so. She turns to the next page, the lifeless, soulless stare of Eugene Victor Tooms’ mugshot stares back at her. Another shiver as she curses poor light and bad 90s camera quality, she quickly passes over to the page next to it- Tooms’ lie detector test, on and on until she reaches the next Tooms’ file, the one that documents his demise. Good, Emily thinks, tossing it aside and picking up the next.

Halfway through reading the Peacock file does something hit the window startling Emily out of reading with a jump. She closes the file with a bit more force than necessary and puts it on the floor with the rest of them. She’ll read the rest in the morning. In daylight. With the sounds of her father pottering away downstairs and not the creaks and bangs of an old farmhouse in the middle of the woods.

[vagueforms]

tagged by @zigmentality <3

favorite color: dark green n black

currently reading: nona the ninth (I fell victim to the lesbian necromancer series)

last song: berlin, 1885 by fuzz lightyear

last movie: I don’t even know but I’ve been watching xfiles again since I’m home

sweet/savory/spicy: uhhh sweet idk I’m a big fan of bitter things

currently working on: friendship bracelets ! also I just finished a drawing of the model/actriz dude

[randomfoggytiger]

Here ya go!

All IVF Arcs Must Come to Their End

Most of these aren't NSFW, but they kinda fit the bill. :DDDD

Loose chronological order below¬

LONG FICS

@sunflowerseedsandscience's Someday Your Child May Cry

Mulder and Scully forge their IVF journey-- from S5 through Millennium-- despite Diana Fowley's machinations and Dr. Parenti's interference.

@cultureisdarkbeer's

**Note**: I'm pretty sure these two series intertwine.

When Two Women Collide

In a larger series featuring Mulder's history with Diana and Scully, Chapters 7-11 work through early Season 6 and the IVF arc.

Rooted in Friendship - Chapter 17

Dark AU warning: Scully locks herself in the bathroom to miscarry, not wanting Mulder to see her pain. He hears her, regardless.

@ghostbustermelanieking's auld acquaintance

S7 Mulder and Scully work through the IVF arc after he wakes in Amor Fati.

@scully-eats-sushi's You're Not Alone

Part 1 of a longer slow-burn after Millennium: Scully navigates her complicated feelings with the IVF arc and S7 casefiles.

BellyUp's Blood of Eden

Scully and Mulder support each other through S7's IVF arc (and other assorted trials and tribulations.)

I_cant_find_a_name's Left of a Miracle

Mulder and Scully work through the years, through the seasons, and through the episodes during the IVF arc.

@darwin-xf's Fox Mulder: Fired and Wired

AU: Mulder works through the IVF arc while suffering from brain disease.

Joan Humby's The Pattern

AU: Mulder and Scully investigate a Monty Props casefile while their IVF attempt and his past with Diana looms quietly in the background.

SHORT FICS

@alsoablankslate/tabulaxrasa's Things No One Notices

Skinner notices his agents' behavior during the IVF arc.

@agent-troi's What Only He Could Give Her

AU: Post Terms of Endearment Mulder is shocked Scully picked him to be a dad as well as the father.

@freckleslikestars's Jellyfish

In a followup to The Road to Family (Ao3), post Agua Mala Mulder slips Scully some encouragement (and a Snicker's bar.)

@iloveurscratchybeard's Snow in September

Mulder keeps Scully's hope alive.

ThexInvisiblexGirl's Under Cover of Darkness - Chapter 1

In a loose followup to Not Too Late, post Orison Mulder is there to comfort Scully when the IVF fails.

@gaycrouton's xfiles, 47

A short peak into Mulder's mind through Scully's request and early miscarriage.

@13starbuck42's What Comes Next (Ao3)

Scully changes her mind, allowing Mulder to come back to her apartment and help her grieve.

@storybycorey's This Is What It Tastes Like (Ao3)

Mulder soaks in the joy of possibility and pain of tragedy.

@allyinthekeyofx's Affirmation 2/5 (Ao3)

Part 2 of a longer lead-up to all things: the shock wears off, and Scully breaks down.

Singing_Violin's This I Can Do

Mulder can at least hold Scully through their worst moments.

@baronessblixen's

May All Your Dreams Be Bright (Ao3)

Mulder refuses to give up.

Unnamed

Scully is discouraged after seeing the Phoebe Green, once again.

The Deepest Cut (Ao3)

Diana Fowley trails after Scully to twist the knife.

Name Calling (Ao3)

Scully finds Mulder's list of baby names.

Unnamed

Mulder believes his Amor Fati dream was of their son; and begs Scully not to give up hope.

@jodithann827's Broken

Scully feels like a pretend woman.

@oceanofthesky/noifsandsorbees per manum

Scully realizes she can weather any storm with Mulder by her side.

Donna's

Miracles Await (Gossamer)

Mulder holds Scully while she cries, determined to address their new lines tomorrow.

Imagining a Life

Mulder and Scully wallow separately in their personal failures.

@peacenik0's In All Things - Chapter 1

Mulder and Scully take comfort by reestablishing their familiar banter.

@sixhours's Remnants (FFN)

Mulder and Scully discuss the "what ifs" they planned to do.

@softnow's marked maybe

Mulder will support Scully, even if-- he hints-- she adopts.

@mulderwantstobelieve's I Don't Want to Go Home Tonight (Ao3)

AU: Scully asks the ultimate question.

@tatooedlaura-blog's Done Pretending

AU: in the aftermath of failure, Scully and Mulder pick their pieces back up together.

Jaime Lyn's Full Moon, Near-Death, and Things Left Unfinished

Mulder and Scully are smashed in a car wreck and forced to confront their IVF failure while caught in limbo.

@i-gaze-at-scully's Words, Words, Words

Mulder finds Scully in her apartment crying, clutching a baby blanket.

@catarinquar/catarinquar's sportstar

Amidst a collection of memories, Mulder invites Scully out to the ball field to cheer her up after the IVF.

@alienqueequeg's Truth in the Dark

AU: Scully can no longer keep her distance after her period returns.

AngelsFallFirst's Nightmares Are Dreams Too - Chapter 1

AU: Scully calls after a nightmare, admitting she gave up and asking Mulder to move their relationship forward.

ML/ML_is_me’s (Ao3, Gossamer, DW, Invidiosa) Because It's Scully

AU: Mulder clings to hope, even with brain disease, even after failure.

@rachg82's Three Wishes

Late S7 Mulder and Scully work towards dating after IVF.

@adrianne68/2momsmakearight's All Things Plus One

AU: Mulder and Scully have a Plus One conversation after the IVF failure.

@purrykat/mylifeinshadow's Unnamed

AU: Mulder and Scully solidified their relationship during the grief period; but carried on quite well, afterward.

@lotsoforangesoutside/@lotzzoforangezoutside's Five Boxes (Ao3)

Scully invites Mulder to clean out Maggie's backroom.

gwinne/Gwinne's Domestic Inclinations (Ao3, Gossamer)

Mulder and Scully discuss their journey and its failure after their relationship shifts.

@television-overload's of our making (Ao3)

AU: In part one of an adoption fic series, Mulder and Scully briefly (and awkwardly) discuss their failed IVF procedure.

OFF-TOPICS

ulstergirl/ndnickerson's Abandoned Gardens

Sein und Zeit Scully angrily ruminates on the wreck Tena left in her son's life.

XPhileChai's There's Gotta Be More...

AU: Right as Mulder and Scully are recovering from their failures, a secret Diana Fowley daughter pops up in their lives.

@lyndsaybones's AU where Mulder and Scully move in together

AU: Mulder convinces Scully to still buy a house together after the IVF fails. (Follow up AU is, indeed, a followup.)

@msrafterdark's

Unnamed

AU: Mulder perseveres even after failure.

5 AUs Headcanon Fics

AU: Mulder and Scully marry post IVF failure... and are surprised not soon after.

Zoonr's (Ao3) Mesabi Ferrum

AU: Buried in Chapter Twenty-Nine of a longer Colonization fic, Mulder and Scully discuss their recklessness IVF pursuit.

Alelou's Continuity Series 01

Crack: For the fun of it, here's some lampshading at the IVF arc.

hi! could you please give your fic recs on the failed ivf but have sex to conceive naturally storyline 🥹

Hi, anon! I'm awful with recs, but maybe @randomfoggytiger and @lilydalexf can help with this?

[welcome-to-earth-id4]

the visitor rewatch

eps 8 - reunion

oh no this eps will make me sad wont it

craig really into his fake cleaning job

thrOWS THE FBI OUT gOOD 

Not them all actually playing a long with “making a stew” out of the info they got on adam thats so funny

charlie again? i completely forgot she comes back 

wadda hell did vise find another ufo

ay thats me

asshole aka New Guy That Adam Has History With bought himself an ice-cream to appear more trustworthy 

soldiers: * cant get a reading on the invisible ufo in a  force field * vise: * JUST SHOOTS IT * 

adam learning about his son jason ;;; 

kurwa slay and keep being useless

another screen for the collection

HEAL THE DOGGY

nsa finally realizing that vise is dangerous lmao took yall time

did wilcox call larue “NICKI” IMJDLSKFJDSKLJF i mean his name iS NIcholAS SO I GUESS B UT JKDSHFKDSJF

let craig sleep cmon

meanwhile larue doesnt leave home without a car window opening tool thingie

things to add to the visitor wiki once i make it: larues car breaking in skills

WE GOT A KILLER ON THE LOOSE well they finally got a serious job thats what they got

i still cant with van patten having a gun 

the plot of this eps is actually quite nice, but constance dying at the end is just so anticlimactic bcs of the bad acting lmao 

Vise Gets Arrested * always sunny theme starts playing in the bg *

an add for the 100th episode of the XFILES? NICE

those are so funny cuz i still believe the visitor is a txf bootleg 

[dunhamhairograpy]

Home Again Script: Mulder settles Scully

[soft-thrills]

X-Files fic: Philadelphia

Mulder and Scully drive to Philadelphia after her mother’s death. A missing scene for “Home Again.”

Rated R

With thanks, as ever, to @agoldenpalace

*

i walked the avenue ‘til my legs felt like stone

i heard the voice of friends vanished and gone

at night i could hear the blood in my veins

just as black and whispering as the rain

on the streets of Philadelphia

-Bruce Springsteen, “Streets of Philadelphia”

*

“Mulder, let’s drive to Philadelphia,” she says, gripping at his shirt with the same hand that clutches the mystery her mother has left her. Her fingernails work for traction on the slippery material, and she throws her body up against him, half begging and half demanding. “I need to work.”

“No,” he says. “No, no, no.”

“Yes. Right now.”

“No, I get it, Scully, I do. But not right now.”

She remembers, for a moment, the night his mother died. The night he asked her to cut Teena open. No, she had said, no, no, no. But she couldn’t refuse him anything, not even that, when he was so full of raw need. She would have cut herself open to soothe him.

“Mulder, right now,” she says, picking up her briefcase, putting an end to the conversation. “I need to work right now.”

She walks out of the hospital. She doesn’t look back because she knows he will follow. He'd never refuse her anything either.

*

Mulder drives them to Philadelphia in rainy silence.

She doesn’t care for Pennsylvania. When she was younger, a friend was scoping out big affordable homes in quaint towns and Scully told her not to move there. “Too many X-Files per capita,” she’d joked.

Scully doesn’t really have friends anymore. She doesn’t joke anymore.

For a long time, she looked for meaning in the bad things that had happened to her. She believed that she was meant to learn from them, that they were meant to teach her something. She had searched so hard to give them purpose, to understand, even when she came up empty time and time again.

As the tragedies big and small piled up, she wondered if each one was meant to harden her for the next. Her cancer helped her to know how to cope with her infertility. Mulder's disappearance and three-month stint in a coffin — a vision of her worst nightmare, and most awful of all the possible endings to their story—made it easier for her to survive when he left after William was born. From the loss of Emily, she was a bit more weathered to withstand the loss of William.

She began to believe that she had lost so much, been tested so much, because she was meant to know the truth, meant to help people, meant to save the world with Mulder by her side. That was worth suffering for. But then 2012 ended and the world didn’t. So she convinced herself that she had gone through these trials to bring her to Mulder, to bind them together. But then he shut her out and she left the house and she had nothing: not the X-Files, not a master-plan to save the world, not her partner.

Maybe she was like Job. Maybe she’d done nothing to deserve her misfortunes and she’d ultimately learn little from them, other than that God is cruel and cavalier and what he gives he can take away. Naked we came out of our mothers’ wombs and naked we will depart.

Nothing will come from her own womb and she will never see her own mother again. She will never see her son again. She will never forget her mother’s last words, to somebody else, about the son she gave away.

But Mulder is back; he is holding her hand where it rests in the center console of the car, not far from where he keeps his sunflower seeds.

That is something.

*

She feels tense from the moment the skyline rises into their windshield.

Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love and the city of her grandest mistakes, at least where sex is concerned. The dingy place where she got her tattoo is probably long out of business, gentrified into a coffee shop. The Russian who wielded the needle is probably gone, too.

Ed Jerse is still in prison. She used to get little postcards when he was up for parole, until they lost track of her on the run. But every couple of years some part of her, the dangerously curious part that missed the FBI while she was a doctor, looks him up. Her tattoo is still on her back, catching her eye sometimes as she moves past a mirror.

She’s not sure she regrets sleeping with Ed, even after how it all ended. She knows she doesn’t regret the tattoo. It reminds her to keep moving, even when she’s fucked something up seemingly beyond repair.

As she and Mulder walk through the lobby of a nicer-than-usual hotel, she feels herself moving like a train on a doomed track, ready to collide with someone. Only this time it's not a stranger and that’s really the problem. It’s been years since she was this unsure of what she and Mulder were to each other. She feels not unlike she did when she was in Philadelphia all those years ago, adrift and alone.

Mulder tells the woman at the front desk that he’d called on the way and been told the hotel had vacancy.

“One room, or two?” she hears the woman ask.

It is the city of brotherly love. As complicated as her feelings for Mulder are, Scully is sure of one thing: they are not fraternal.

“One,” she says, a woman who feels like making a mistake, a woman who probably won’t regret this one, either.

*

She doesn’t want to talk, not yet, so she tries not to give him the time.

She stalks behind him as he places their bags on the luggage rack, and when he turns she’s there, pressing her body into him the way she did a few hours ago in the hospital. But she isn’t crying now. She is staring up, on her tip toes even in her heels, ready to kiss him.

“Scully, I—” he begins, but she knows from his face where he’s going.

“Don’t,” she whispers, unable and unwilling to accept rejection, even if it is well meaning. “Please.”

He hesitates. She watches the conflict play across his face as he tries to chart his course: He doesn’t want to refuse her or make her ask for what she needs (though he’s reveled in making her beg before, she remembers with a flush, it would be uncouth of him to do it now). But he is balancing that with the need to be sure he isn’t doing something she will regret tomorrow, something to make her pain worse. She knows because she has been there, stood in his place and wondered the same thing, how to navigate an emotional minefield and walk away unscathed.

So she tries to explain.

“When your mother died, Mulder, that night, when we were together—I didn’t understand it,” she says, shaking her head. “But I do now. I need… I don’t know.”

She shakes her head softly. His hand finds her face, a thumb strokes her cheek. She wills herself not to cry, afraid it will scare him off.

“Tennessee Williams wrote that desire is the opposite of death,” Mulder says.

She should roll her eyes at him for quoting a play, or at the very least point out that the one he is referencing ends pretty badly. She could think of her last misbegotten trip to Philadelphia and wonder if death — the specter of it lodged between her nose and her brain — was what fueled her desire then. But she does not want to think.

“Yes,” she says instead, because he has managed to sum up the feeling thrumming inside her pretty well.

Mulder nods, a little too solemn for her liking but then he puts a hand in the hair at the nape of her neck and he kisses her, offering himself up to be another distraction from her grief, just like the case would be. He’s more to her than that, and her heart makes her brain promise to tell him so. Later.

They have kissed in a hundred hotel rooms, and if she shuts out her grief, his touch in this place feels nostalgic. There were years of this, fucking in nondescript rooms with weird carpets and boring pictures on the walls. Even the grief inside her isn’t unfamiliar in their history of rented-room romance. She remembers the way he’d kissed her softly and sadly that first night on the run in New Mexico; she remembers the way he’d fucked her after their first real discussion about William had devolved into their first real fight about William.

This is somewhere in between, she thinks as his hands move across her body and she responds on autopilot. He is hitting all his marks: hand in her hair tugging just a little, touching her just demandingly enough to make her melt. He is not gentle but there is no anger in it: he is playing the role she needs him to play right now.

She feels stupidly, deliriously, dangerously alive. Her heart pounds. She doesn’t think about her grief for her mother or her endless doubt and aching sorrow about her son. She doesn’t think about why they’ve started fucking again since they returned to the FBI, or why she didn’t return home once they started fucking. She doesn’t think about what it means or what comes next or what it says about her or him.

She thinks about Mulder, a man who wants her and loves her despite the things she has done that have made it so hard for her to love herself. She thinks about how good it feels to be desired, to desire someone — then she stops thinking about it and just feels it. She is unvarnished and undone, splayed open for him in all the ways a person can be.

This, the two of them together like this, is the only time she has ever been able to shut off the rest of her brain. She feels safe, and whole, and at home in this strange hotel where she’s never been and will never be again.

He is her dark wizard that way.

*

Later, they sit on the bed, their legs spread out and their backs against the headboard, and drink bourbon poured from expensive mini bottles over too-small ice cubes in unimpressive hotel glassware.

She is wearing his t-shirt again, the one she wore on the last case, when his eyes had lit up while talking about monsters and, as soon as his rant was done, had raked appreciatively over her bare legs. They had slept together after that case, a happy and easy thing they did while a no-longer-stray dog scratched at the bedroom door.

She thinks, disjointedly, about her mother's coin and how completely you can think you know someone, only to turn over a new mystery about them when you’re out of time to solve it. She thinks about her mother and her brother, the things big and small that kept them apart from one another for so many years.

“I want to come home,” she says, before she really realizes she’s saying it.

As soon as the words are out of her mouth she regrets it — not because they aren’t true, but because of when she’s said them. Despite his propensity to believe anything, he won’t believe her. He’ll chalk it up to emotion and exhaustion the way she had when he’d told her he loved her after he almost died at sea.

She suppresses her urge to apologize for her admission and watches him consider his response.

“I want that, too,” he says evenly. “But I won’t hold you to anything you say right now, Scully.”

It is the right thing to say to a woman whose mother just died, a woman who is momentarily desperate for some semblance of a family. It is careful of him. He is careful with her lately, the way he was when all this — them— first started. A lot of things feel like they did back then, as they work in the basement and chase monsters and live in separate households and quietly sneak away to bed together now and then. She feels ready to close the circle again.

She thinks of the circle at her back. The circle her mother wore around her neck. The circles her mind will travel to try to understand, before she’ll accept that sometimes your parents aren’t exactly who you want them to be — her mother has always been unassailable to her, but she left behind a son, too, for reasons Dana never really agreed with but never questioned. She’ll have questions her mother will never answer. Her own son will have questions she’ll never answer, questions she’ll probably never even know.

The thoughts leave her off-balance, adrift. But Mulder, despite his eyes being turned ever upward, grounds her.

She wants to tell him that, but she’s not sure how. So she settles for making a promise and deciding to keep it.

“You can hold me to it, Mulder.”

[randomfoggytiger]

Scully's Speech in HTGSC Proves Mulder Is Her Ouroboros

**Note**: Will come back to edit later.

I pulled out a portion of my next In-Depth analysis because it was an amazing little connection:

This next speech of Scully’s is so incredibly important it’s getting an in-depth analysis of its own, tying together the threads of Scully in relation to Mulder: his stagnation and her frustration with it, as well as her deep understanding of what he really says and what makes him tick. As yet, she tries to bridge that gap in vain.

“I mean, the whole-- Mulder” she calls when he gets too far ahead, signaling Mulder to wait up “--the whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I’m saying: that, I mean, um, that a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous.” (Just as aliens are ridiculous?)  “I mean, what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become believing such things.” (“Mulder, you’re crazy.”) 

Mulder flashes his light at Scully briefly as if to say "well, you’re here, too" before going back to his thorough search of the upstairs hallway. She may be sermonizing a little, but she’s there; and the more she talks her nerves away, the more Scully relaxes into her monologue. She’s found a way to say something important, and she’s using this opportunity as best she can.  

And it’s here where Scully, again, touches on her continual talking points of S6 (“settle down… something approaching a normal life”, “life on this planet”, etc.), harkening back to her itchy feelings in Never Again when she contrasted her zest for growth and forward movement to Mulder’s stagnation and single-minded ways (that circular snake eating his tail to death and decay, post by @suitablyaggrieved here): “I mean, that-that we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body, that-that we witness these spirits clad in their own shabby outfits with the… same old haircuts and hairstyles, never aging, never...never in search of more comfortable surroundings. It actually ends up saying more about the living than about the dead.” 

Scully is a creature of comfort; but she and Mulder approach it very differently. She surrounds herself with manicured nails, quality heels, silk pajamas, and spa bath experiences. Mulder buries himself in dust and death, avoiding what Scully celebrates about life by “walking into his sister’s room” every day of his life. 

Scully has been softening her tone during this speech; but when Mulder merely makes a “Mhm” noise to notate he’s somewhat listening, she doubles down in earnest: “I mean, Mulder, it doesn’t take an advanced degree in psychology to understand the, the unconscious yearnings that imaginings satisfy.”  

Crucially (and I can’t understate this enough), Scully lays out what she believes Mulder is trying to tell her here (just as she understood his baseball lesson in The Unnatural) as they both pause in the haunted hallway (it’s always in hallways, isn’t it?): “Y’know, the, the longing for immortality, the hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil-- that, that we might never be long without our loved ones-- I mean these are powerful” she pauses to further soften her voice “powerful desires.”

Mulder pauses his wanderings, showing his attention with stillness rather than any overt reaction.

“I mean,” she says, “they’re the very essence of what makes us human."  

It’s also interesting that Scully is proving how at peace she is (mostly) with the tragedies in her life: her father, sister, and daughter are dead, because she believes in the gift of immortality through life after death (it’s not until Tithonus shows her what a curse that can be, too.) Unfortunately, while she may have laid her ghosts to rest, Mulder has not; and they are still tearing at his mind (as demonstrated before in Demons.)

Mulder nods along, taking in what Scully is saying but not understanding it. Just as he doesn’t get her “what about your family” in Home, her “endless line” in Never Again, her “normal life” in Dreamland I, and her “life on this planet” in The Unnatural. 

Mulder is Scully’s ouroboros, constantly pursuing one path and consuming himself (and her) in his quest. “There are other fathers,” she told Ed Jerse; but what she meant-- or didn’t realize she meant-- was that there will always be her Ahab: relentless in his career while living, only realizing what he’s sacrificed-- love, family, the little things-- once he's dead. “You know, you are Ahab,” Scully said to Mulder in Quagmire; and she was right. (Shoutout to @waiting-for-the-day for her assessment that Scully is self-aware of her own narrative.) He's still on that rock, in the basement, in his childhood memories; and his pursuit of "the truth" leads him perpetually away from it.

[enigmaticxbee]

✖️✖️✖️ 10x04 Home Again

The one where... Scully’s mom dies (and there’s a case with a bandaid nose man art project come to life killing people, whatever)

Best: She never feels more Scully to me in this revival season 10 than when she breaks down in Mulder’s arms over her mom’s death and then looks up at Mulder and frantically tells him I need to work. And the way Mulder looks her… there’s so much history there. I love the bts story that GA was having trouble getting to that emotional place in this scene and asked to have Sheila Larken come to set - she’s been playing Scully’s mom for over 20 years and the emotional resonance of that is why this revival deserves to exist.

Worst: I like the scene in the basement where Scully is thinking about William, about how he came to her, and her responsibility for this person she brought into the world. But that final line of the episode takes the trash metaphor too far. Scully: I want to believe… I need to believe that we didn’t treat him like trash. WTF? It’s so clunky in trying to tie the case and what Scully’s going through together, I hate it.

✔️ Flashlights

❌ Woods/Desert

❌ Slideshow

❌ Autopsy

✔️ Evidence Disappears

❌ Scully Misses It

❌ Mulder Ditch

❌ Sunflower Seeds

❌ Voiceover

✔️ Catch Phrase: Scully (IWTB)

✔️ Scully is a (Medical) Doctor

✔️ Mulder is Spooky

❌ Scuuullllaaaaayy! Muullllderrrr!

✔️ Fox

✔️ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)

❌ Casual Scully

❌ Casual Mulder

❌ Trench Coats

❌ Bad Tie Watch

❌ Glasses Watch

✔️ Taking! It! Personally!: Scully

50 States: Pennsylvania x21 & DC x103 (44/50)

Investigate: Together & Apart

Solve Rate: 75%

✔️ Bechdel Test

MSR: 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

Goriness: 👽👽👽👽

Creepiness: 👽👽👽

Humor: 👽👽

Rewatch Thoughts:

William check-in: Mrs Scully (to Mulder): My son… is named William, too. This is… oof, it’s a lot. It’s devastating for Scully (and Mulder too I’m sure, although he doesn’t get the chance to really react, he’s being stoic and supportive since Scully’s going through it this episode). I remember being really surprised at how much William stuff we got in the revival, that they didn’t just sweep it all under rug like they have so many other traumatic events they’ve gone through.

Break-up check-in: This episode says to me that Scully may have moved out, but they are still each other’s person. They have over 20 years of history and they are not trying to move on from each other, they’re trying to find a way back, to live with what’s happened to them, and what they’ve done. (Also: love how every other writer has pretty much just ignored the breakup, once again literally nothing would have to change in this episode if they were still together)

This episode was originally slated to be the second episode, which I guess is why we get the pointed FBI IDs out shot - they’re back baybeee. I wonder why they switched up the order, if they thought the audience needed more reminders about the William backstory in Founder’s Mutation first. Emotional arc-wise it would have been strange to go from this to cheerful Scully in Were-Monster.

Mulder remembers all their awful experiences in Philly. Has anything good ever happened to them in PA?

Are we really supposed to believe Scully put Bill in her phone as William Scully Jr? 🧐 Just so we get the name William briefly flashing up on her phone?

What are these weird blurry shots of Scully going down the stairs about? I guess to convey her panicked emotional state but it feels awkward to have just those shots filmed like that.

The elusive Charlie Scully… We learn here that he’s estranged - from their mom and it sounds like from the rest of the family. There’s no indication of why. It’s interesting because in 4x02 Home Scully mentions babysitting her nephew, which must be Charlie’s son because Bill’s first child is born in season 5. So presumably they weren’t estranged at that point, it must have happened later. Unless he’s been estranged from their mom longer (he certainly never showed up to any family events in the series) and maybe Scully lost touch with him when she went on the run.

Scully doesn’t think that her mom’s feelings about life support might have changed after 20 years? Although it is rough that she didn’t talk to Scully about it.

The Downtown scene I’m sure is intentionally an homage to the Wonderful, Wonderful scene in 4x02 Home, and setting violence against an upbeat song is very effective, but not quite as effective as the first time and it feels a little out of place in this episode.

Scully: Back in the day, did… we ever come across the ability to just… wish someone back to life? Mulder: I invented it. When you were in the hospital, like this. Scully: You’re a dark wizard, Mulder. Mulder (laughs): What else is new? This exchange is perfect.

Scully wasn’t in stilettos back in the day though!

Their little smirks as they get out their flashlights… The X of the flashlight beams is an obvious shot but it still works on me.

This isn’t the first time they’ve encountered a murderous trash monster. Does Mulder not remember the trash tulpa from 6x15 Arcadia? Guess he’s learned some things about Tibetan Buddhism since then.

When I first saw this episode Scully calling Mulder Fox in the final scene completely threw me. This is literally the second time in the series, and the first time since the season 1 episode Tooms where he asked her to call him Mulder, that she’s called him Fox. It felt so wrong to me at first, but I’ve come around on it. I can believe that in the 14 years since the series ended, many of which they spent living together as a couple, that that’s something that might change between them. Throughout the series he’s called her Dana in rare, intimate moments. And it highlights how Scully’s trying to connect with him in this moment. But fanfic writers, please use your Foxes judiciously.

Scully: I believe that you will find all of your answers. You will find the answers to the biggest mysteries, and I will be there when you do… But my mysteries… I’ll never have answered. This is so sad, but yeah. Especially if you’re relying on CC to answer those mysteries in any kind of satisfying way.

[teiasviago]

I need to work.

[iloveurscratchybeard]

I've spent the last week in Vancouver. Every trip here requires a few XF related stops, and watching the sunset at Cate's Park was perfection. I'll share more soon!

[mlobsters]

supernatural s1e4 phantom traveler (w. richard hatem)

(this is a rewatch, so spoilers abound)

another early reaction report to watching spn lol

what's so funny to me too is that like. this show is very low on skin overall. seeing half naked leg is downright scandalous on the scale of what we ever see of them through 15 years. they keep very thoroughly covered almost all the time! meanwhile the show i'd fixated on before this, teen wolf, those boys were shirtless constantly (except stiles. never stiles)

ps i've had it on my sort of floating to-do list to, at some point, paint that ever so shocking full length view with the 2/3 naked leg

s1e4 paul jarrett as george phelps / the fall of the house of usher s1e7 as doctor donaldson

airport man, paul jarrett, has been in a lot of stuff i've seen. (supposedly?) twilight eclipse (aka the one with the very bad bella wig), the xfiles, the killing, the fall of the house of usher most recently... god i just wasted a solid 30 minutes trying to find documentation of any/all that

demon as particles that went into the eyes instead of smoke in the mouth, wild early days

s1e4 as jaime ray newman as amanda / the magicians s3e10 as irene mcallister

too many people :S she's also been in a lot of bigger stuff but the recurring part on magicians hey-o

i'll spare them a screenshot of the bad visual effects on the airplane

picked spanish captions first accidentally, that's sweet. cariño for good morning, sunshine (an endearment that's like honey/sweetheart)

DEAN Did you get any sleep last night? SAM Yeah, I grabbed a couple hours. DEAN Liar. 'Cause I was up at three, and you were watching a George Foreman infomercial. SAM Hey, what can I say? It's riveting TV. DEAN When was the last time you got a good night's sleep? SAM I don't know, a little while, I guess. It's not a big deal. DEAN Yeah, it is. SAM Look, I appreciate your concern— DEAN Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep my ass alive, so I need you sharp.

not concerned, my ass :p but an additional concern that he can't do the job (or even drive safely or be a functioning human) with no sleep

DEAN Seriously, are you still having nightmares about Jess? SAM Yeah. But it's not just her. It's everything. I just forgot, you know? This job. Man, it gets to you. DEAN You can't let it. You can't bring it home like that. SAM So, what? All this it...never keeps you up at night? Never? You're never afraid? DEAN No, not really. SAM reaches under DEAN'S pillow to pull out a large hunting knife and holds it up as evidence. DEAN That's not fear. That is precaution. SAM All right, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.

LOL, good call, sam. not buying he never gets scared either. savoring the brotherly chat in the beautiful (albeit dark) lighting

JERRY Well, he was real proud of you. I could tell. He talked about you all the time. SAM He did?

shitty way of showing it there, john. tell him you walk out and stay gone, and no contact since. but he's proud! grinds my gears :p dean lookin over to sam like, see??? fucking JOHN. ugh! lol

JERRY Well, we're missing the old man, but we get Sam. Even trade, huh? SAM No, not by a long shot.

oh, sam.

brian markinson (as jerry panowski here talking to salmon dean) has been in a lot my stuff and in fact i did a hey i know you when he was amelia's dad in the fuzzy brightly lit flashbacks in 8x08

LOL copy jack making fake IDs

SAM Homeland Security? That's pretty illegal, even for us. DEAN Yeah, well, it's something new. You know? People haven't seen it a thousand times.

makes a good point. i didn't realize it was a thing in 2005, but apparently it started in 2002 (makes sense that they made it happen quickly, like every shitty thing that got put into place after 9/11). guh

s1e4 birkett turton as max jaffe / the magicians s3e7 as vince

another person that's been in one of my shows..... almost turned alice into a vampire? lolol totally forgot about that. i should rewatch s3 again, been a while

the coloring and lighting just really did such lovely things for jackles, an already exceedingly lovely looking human

widow of plane guy was in a very small part in the killing but i am not looking this up. i'm t i r e d

DEAN Man, I look like one of the Blues Brothers. SAM No, you don't. You look more like a...seventh-grader at his first dance.

LOL get him, sam! also i was gonna blame the music on jay but it was actually just a bad sub by netflix yet again, was supposed to be black sabbath paranoid

so it's one thing to fake the paper/picture/card part of the fake id, but what about the badge shields??

also kind of amused that this is presented like it's the first time they're wearing the fed suits, in that they had to buy them. dean really didn't need one before with john? rolling up in his oversized jackets, flannel, ripped jeans and boots pretending to be any manner of official?? i can see sammy needing a suit, since all his clothes got torched (and might have had dress wear for say, law school interview, but maybe not a suit.) yet again thinking too hard about this :p not even halfway through the episode damnit

SAM Yeah, I know what an EMF meter is, but why does that one look like a busted-up walkman? DEAN 'Cause that's what I made it out of. It's homemade. SAM Yeah, I can see that.

ok so my 2nd-4th screenshots while watching this show? this interaction LOL. poor dean, sam not impressed 😔

stir-of-echoes on lj transcribed jared and jensen's commentary for this episode:

JP: (Bursts into laughter at Dean’s face when Sam informs him that he can see that they EMF meter is home made) JP: That is always one of my favourite moments. I seem to remember laughing over my coverage… JA: A little Dean comedy thrown in there…

so i guess this is part of my impression that they were pretty inexperienced with demons at this point. they didn't know the residue on the emergency exit of the wreckage was sulfur until they had the dude look at it under a microscope

the effects in this episode are definitely showing their age/budget. the airplanes and the demon particles woof

the stuff on the wall a la john, so impractical in a hotel/motel/holiday inn (i think i've made this reference before lol.) also those teeny tiny beds so close to each other

SAM Well, that's not exactly true. You see according to Japanese beliefs, certain demons are behind certain disasters, both natural and man-made. One causes earthquakes, another causes disease. DEAN And this one causes plane crashes? All right, so, what? We have a demon that's evolved with the times and found a way to ratchet up the body count?

feel i might give myself a headache if i think about this too much. so like. are we saying that a different culture's demon is doing this? but (will be) affected by christo/exorcism? or that all of those folklore creatures in different cultures were christian-hell-demons (surely not that one)? or that maybe if their demons were up to these shenanigans so would christian-hell-demons? ugh. nothing makes sense to me when i try to go outside the christian sphere for more than 2 seconds in this universe

DEAN It's biblical numerology. You know Noah's ark, it rained for forty days. The number means death.

okie doke

(perpetual irritation and frustration at how sometimes captions are greatly condensed and remove whole sentences of dialogue)

we all know the talking him through his panic on the plane but this conversation too where both their voices are going progressively higher is pretty cute as well. sam walking the line of a) got a job to do or a bunch of people are gonna die b) desire to mercilessly tease over the newfound weakness, as is the sibling prerogative

also, they are very smushed together in those airplane seats. also ALSO, jackles seems to have been getting different makeup than padalecki because he's got poppin highlights all over his face like it's pretty glossy looking regularly, where sam's cheeks are regularly matte in the same lighting. wonder what that's about. wonder if it's because jared sweats so much as he's having to wipe down so much he loses the sheen. maybe jackles was just more naturally oily and they went with it. anyway, his skin looks gorgeous in these early days

SAM Now, I found an exorcism in here that I think is gonna work. The Rituale Romanum.

more reinforcement that dealing with demons is a new thing for them. now i can't even remember why i'm questioning this. maybe it's because of how pre-series gets talked about later in the show or something. ugh. brain, get it together

DEAN Maybe the thing's just not on the plane. SAM You believe that? DEAN Well, I will if you will.

LOL sam's face. it's fun having dean be a mess without it going over the top broad humor which mr ackles tends toward

also funny that holy water in this first incarnation makes the demon's clothes burn like acid too. wonder if that was a one-off, definitely adds a lot of extra work to something they use on the regular later on

man, kripke apparently talked a lot of shit about the effects in 1x02 (and later took it back saying it wasn't so bad upon rewatch a decade later) but the effects involving the exterior "shots" of the airplane in this are 10x worse than anything in wendigo

DEAN You okay? SAM Dean, it knew about Jessica. DEAN Sam, these things, they, they read minds. They lie. All right? That's all it was.

so i guess my interpretation of that is with christian-hell-demon up to similar shenanigans as the japanese folkloric disaster causing demons which was only mentioned to add Flavor

so we got a sign of life from john via amelia's dad, by way of reconnected phone with new voicemail recording to call dean's current number

so, here's my guess as to why sam's lookin like this. dad is definitely still alive as of recently so there's that relief but he's also completely ghosted them. transcription says that sam "fumes" and gets in the car. but we got the sad string musical score and he's definitely on the verge of tears, jaw clenching/swallowing. i'm voting sad and frustrated and a skosh angry

and again from the commentary:

JP: (Jared talking about the scene where Dean and Sam are resting against the Impala and Dean is calling John’s cell phone) Now I remember this was a big milestone for the series at the beginning because this was the first time that we’d heard not only confirmation of the fact that our father was still around… JA: Right… JP: But that he had made communication with someone, so this was a big important scene as far as the series itself goes. JP: (Talking about the look of sadness on Sam’s face when they hear John’s voice on the phone message) And that’s why I have that look on my face… (Both laugh loudly) JA: (Talking about the look on Dean’s face in the same scene) Oh, and there’s the jaw-clench, was that a jaw-clench? JP: You can’t teach that Jensen, I remember getting this shot and we were sitting outside the airport and erm…

the commentary is a fun read and a lot faster than rewatching the episode to listen to it :) so thank you to stir-of-echoes for posting that in 2006 and miraculously still being around for me to read it 18 years later