#wylan was like ‘I can’t read ;-;

[cherries-and-knives]

Everyone in six of crows: oh no omgggg my horrible dark awful secret I sure hope kaz doesn’t judge me when he finds outttt😫🥺🫣😭

Kaz who has never given a single shit about anything ever in his life except maybe money and inej:

[theowritesstuff]

Everything

Kaz Brekker x gn!healer!reader

Requests: “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” & “You are everything. Everything.” Although I did change it to “You are everything to me. Everything.”

Warnings: bruises, knives, guns, stabbing, blood, murder (feral Kaz)

A/N: Yeah, this is pretty dark guys. If you’ve watched the show/read the books you’ll be fine, but the crows plotlines are usually dark. I actually really like this one though! Italics are Kaz’s thoughts.

Request a prompt with one of my characters!

Kaz Brekker was methodical. He planned everything he could down to the very minute. It was how he was able to become the leader of the Dregs, the Bastard of the Barrel. No one dared cross Kaz, in fear of losing their life.

His crew were nearly as untouchable as he was. Jesper, the sharpshooter. Inej, the wraith. Wylan, the demolitions expert. Nina, the heartrender. And Matthias, the druskelle. They, along with their leader, made up one of the most prominent gangs in Ketterdam.

Then there was you. You were the crow that Kaz kept tucked away from the rest of Ketterdam.

Nina had brought you to Kaz after finding you help a small child with a nasty scrape on his knee. She watched as you guided your hand over the scrape, and the cuts disappeared. She hadn’t seen another Corporalnik in Ketterdam before, and knew that having a healer would help immensely when it came to heists.

Kaz was reluctant to take you in, only agreeing once he��d seen you heal a black eye Jesper had been sporting for a few days. He gave you a room at the Slat, gave you a few kruge, and introduced you to the other crows.

They were all easy to get along with. Nina helped you ease into this new life, often times joining you for meals, or taking walks through the markets with you. You had an obvious initial distaste for Mathias, often times choosing to stay away from the druskelle, but seeing him with Nina quickly put you at ease. Inej was incredibly kind to you, and graciously thanked you whenever you healed her. Wylan and Jesper were easy to get along with, often times too absorbed in each other to be aware of other things going on around them.

Then there was Kaz. It was more difficult to have a working relationship with Kaz, anyone could tell you he usually kept to himself unless he was giving orders or collecting kruge. You tried not to take his indifference to you personally.

You do remember the day things changed between you and Kaz though. The group had all come back from a heist exhausted, some injured, some just tired, but you could see Kaz out of the corner of your eye walking to his room quicker than he usually does. You followed him upstairs, and softly knocked on the door.

“Come in.” He grunted.

You’d never been in Kaz’s room before, you don’t think anyone other than Kaz actually has. It’s dark, and honestly exactly what you’d expected. A bed in the corner, a desk against the wall cluttered with paper, and a wardrobe that he was currently riffing through.

“Is there a reason you’ve decided to grace me with your presence Y/n?” He asks, his tone sharp.

“How did you know it was me?” You shuffle forward, and close his door behind you.

“Everyone else knows not to bother me after a job.” He turned his head towards you slightly, allowing you to catch a glimpse of red on his cheek.

“You’re hurt.” You take a step towards him. He steps back from you instantaneously.

“I’m fine.” He turns back to his wardrobe.

“Saints, why must you be so stubborn?” You sigh. He doesn’t answer you. “I thought you hired me to heal you, so let me do my job.”

It’s his turn to sigh this time. It would be nice to stop the stinging sensation on his face. He glances at you, then gestures you towards him. “Fine.” He sits down in the chair at his desk, and watches you slowly step towards him.

You slowly move towards him, aware of the way his shoulder tense with every step you take. You don’t know exactly what’s happened to him, but you can easily tell he’s got some sort of touch aversion after watching him for a while. The black gloves that never come off his hands are used as another layer to keep others away.

Once you’re standing in front of him you take a look at the thin cut across his cheek. “I didn’t know the bastard of the barrel could bleed.” You murmur.

You don’t fail to miss the slight upward quirk of his lips at your comment. He holds his breath as your fingertips hover over him. He expected to feel the waters rise up in his chest, drowning him, instead he’s surprised to feel warmth from your hand. You’re careful not to actually touch him, pulling away once he’s been healed.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” You ask, stepping away from him.

That was the moment you became more than just the Dregs’ healer. Whenever you went out anywhere Kaz would send Inej with you for protection. He knew how valuable a grisha was in Ketterdam, and he was not going to let someone else take you away. He called you into his office in the Crow Club or his room in the Slat more often. Sometimes he’d need you to heal a paper cut, other times he’d just want your company while he planned out heists. On nights where he came back banged up more than usual he’d bare more skin to you, allowing you to heal him and provide him the comfort a part of him so desperately needed.

He’d never let it be known he was growing some kind of attachment to you. You were a weakness to him, and Kaz Brekker didn’t have any weaknesses.

It didn’t take long for the other crows to figure out something was different between the two of you. Kaz was a cold, corrupt gang leader, but they could see a shift in him when you were near.

He’d give you his coat if you felt cold on the walk from the club back to the Slat. He kept your favorite drink in stock at the Crow Club. He’d look to you for your opinion on plans for heists. He whispered comments to you while he thought the others weren’t paying attention, a smug grin growing on his face as you laughed at what he’d said. Soft isn’t the right word for what Kaz had become when you were near. He was gentle with you.

Jesper caught you sneaking out of Kaz’s room early one morning still in the clothes you’d worn the previous day. He smirked at Kaz as he ate his breakfast for the day.

“Have a pleasant night boss?” He asked over his cup of coffee.

Kaz raises a brow at him, silently asking what he meant.

Jesper simply looks over at you, who is currently in conversation with Nina and Mathias on the other side of the room. His eyes travel back to Kaz, gleaming with mischief.

Kaz looks like he’s about to hit Jesper over the head with the crow’s head of his cane. He gets a stern talking to in Kaz’s office later that day, and is informed that if anyone finds out about his meetings with you, his precious revolvers might end up on someone’s table in the market.

No one mentions any changes they’ve seen in Kaz after that. Everything goes smoothly from then on, until one particular heist.

It was a lot like any other heist, sneak into a place, steal something that costs an exorbitant amount of money, then sell it for twice the price. The problem was Kaz needed someone to sneak into a crowded party, and at that point most of the barrel could pick out any of the crows in a crowd. They needed someone that could be inconspicuous.

It was the perfect job for you. You’d always wanted to go on the crazy adventures your friend went on so often, and this was finally something you could swing.

When you volunteered to step in, Kaz immediately refused. There was a reason he kept you locked away in the Slat during jobs.

No amount of kruge is worth putting your life on the line.

He gives excuse after excuse as to why you can’t be used. You haven’t done this before. You don’t know your way around the building. They need their healer ready to treat them afterwards.

I can’t bear the thought of losing you.

“You don’t even know how to use a weapon.” Kaz sighed, barely looking up at you from the blueprints on his desk.

“Inej can teach me, right?” You turn to the wraith with pleading eyes.

Inej stutters as she looks between you, and the icy stare coming from Kaz.

“Besides, you said that you wanted me to learn how to fight.”

No, I said you should learn to use a weapon. I figured Jesper would let you shoot a few bottles behind the Slat.

“We need them boss. Y/n is our best bet.” Jesper shrugs as he becomes the receiving end of Kaz’s glare.

Kaz looks back down at his blueprints. He knows it’s going to be a busy event, and the others will be spotted on sight. He briefly wonders if he can hire someone else to do the job, but then he looks back up at you. He trusts you, more than he’s trusted anyone in a long time. He knows this is something you’re perfectly capable of, but is it something he’s willing to risk?

“Fine.” He grunts. “But Jesper and Inej will teach you to use their weapons first.”

Your hearts swells up with pride. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thrown yourself over his desk to hug him. “Thank you Kaz. I promise you won’t regret this.”

If only you knew how wrong you had been.

You did train with Inej and Jesper prior to the heist. You even practiced fighting with Mathias a little bit, who was significantly holding back his punches in fear of actually hurting you.

Kaz had made sure to drill his instructions into everyone’s heads, until they could repeat their schedules without thinking about it. Everything had gone to according to plan on the night of, until things took a drastic turn.

He kept an eye on you for as long as he could, until he was needed somewhere else, leaving you in the crowd of the large hall completely isolated from the rest of the group.

You were doing well on your own, slowly becoming more confident as you strolled around and made conversation. You managed to distract all of the merchants with conversation long enough for the crew to get what they needed. It was nearing the time Kaz told you to meet him outside when you were spotted by someone. You vaguely recognized the face, it was a man you’d seen in the Crow Club a few times.

He must’ve known about your affiliation with the crows, because next thing you know you’re being escorted the opposite direction you need to go. You try to stay calm, and remember what Jesper and Inej taught you about fighting, but you know with them holding onto your arms it’ll be near impossible to reach for the knife you have hidden away.

You end up in a courtyard behind the building when they start to question you. Simple things like “why are you here?” and “where are your friends?”. They quickly become aggravated with your innocent act, and become more incessant.

All it took was for one of the men holding you to loosen his grip for you to swing your arm away, and hit him on the side of his face with your elbow. Chaos ensued immediately. You were able to grab your knife, and used it as best you could against the three men fighting you. You had taken a few hits, but were able to stand your ground fairly well, until you felt a sharp pain in your side.

You froze, partially from shock, but mostly from the searing pain you felt. You looked down to see a dagger lodged in your side, being held onto by one of the men. He had a wicked grin on his face as he twisted the knife inside of you. You wailed out as he pulled the knife from your body, and watched as you collapsed to the ground.

“Brekker won’t be able to save you from that, little bird.” He snikered, then ran back inside with the others.

You could feel the blood pooling at your side. You tried to press a hand to the now sticky fabric of your shirt, and put pressure on the wound. You were far too hurt to be able to concentrate your powers to one spot. Your vision started to get spotty when you heard voices above you. A girl’s voice, clearly in distress, and a boy’s voice, sharp and stern.

More hands pressed to your side, then something was wrapped tightly around your waist.

You couldn’t hear what they were actually saying before you felt yourself being picked up, and held in someone’s arms. You looked up to see the figure that was holding you. A bigger build, wide shoulders, blonde hair? Mathias. Had you been conscious enough to speak you would’ve made a joke. Something about a druskelle carrying a grisha to safety. He’d laugh, but retort, telling you about how many times he’s had to save Nina.

You let yourself fall into the darkness after a while, your head lolling against Mathias’ chest. It’s okay, you thought, you knew you weren’t going to make it as soon as he pulled that knife out of you. You just wish you were able to see your friends one last time, to see Kaz one last time.

Kaz could feel his heart thundering in his chest. He tried to keep a calm composure, but anyone of the crows could see the anxiety building up in him. He was barking orders as soon as he saw you laying on the ground, a puddle of your own blood surrounding you. The waves start to build in his chest. He wants to reach out and touch you, to give you any semblance of comfort, because you’re not dead, there’s no way he’s letting you die. He’ll destroy all of Kerch before he lets that happen.

He notices when your head lolls. “Quickly.” He urges the group, speeding his own pace back to the Slat.

Once everyones regrouped they all gather in your room, where Mathias has lain you down on your bed.

Kaz tosses a pouch of coins to Jesper. “Go get some medicine. I don’t care how much it costs. Get the best you can find.”

Inej kneels down next to you, whispering prayers to her saints. Mathias leaves to gather supplies to help you. Nina keeps your heartbeat steady, her hands hovering above your chest.

The waters have reached his lungs now, pulling him down deeper into the ocean. Your blood coats the scarf Inej tied around you earlier, staining the blue material a dark, deep red.

“Saints! Kaz, your heartbeat is obscenely loud! Could you please go anywhere else?” Nina snaps at him.

Kaz doesn’t move for a moment, then quickly leaves your room to go to his own. He attempts to slow his breathing, to calm himself down, but anytime he closes his eyes he sees you again. You and Jordie.

It’s days before he talks to anyone. He only ever leaves his room to step into yours. Nina occupies a chair near your bed, dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep.

“Still alive.” Is all she says to him. He nods, then retreats back to his room.

He scours any and all information he has about the party, until he finds what might give him some relief. He leaves the Slat early one morning, and doesn’t return until late that evening. The gold crow’s head of his cane is now a bright crimson color. Blood is splattered on his neck, and one can assume his clothes as well, though the black hides it well from anyone giving him a second glance.

Jesper is surprised to see Kaz in such a state, knowing that he liked to keep up appearances.

“Hey boss, you’ve got a little…” he trails off, gesturing to his neck.

“It’s not mine.” He rushes passed Jesper, back to his room to start scrubbing the blood away.

You wake up about a week after the heist. Your throat is dry, and you feel incredibly hungry. Your limbs feel weak when move to sit up.

Nina sits next to you on a chair. She’s slouched over, soft snores falling from her lips. You softly nudge her, and let out a hoarse “Nina.”

She grumbles to herself as she wakes up. “Kaz, they’re fine.” She slowly opens her eyes to see you staring back at her, and she gasps. “Saints! You’re awake!”

You point to the cup that sits next to her, and gulp down the water when she hands it to you.

She stands up and looks towards the door to your room. “I’m going to go get Kaz.”

You grab her wrist before she can leave you. “Please don’t. I don’t think I can deal with incessant “I told you so”s right now.”

Nina scoffs. “Oh please, he’s been worried sick about you. I had to kick him out of here because his heartbeat was distracting me from yours.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He even paid for some pretty pricey medicine for you. Speaking of which, here, take these.” She holds out a few pills. “Now, I’m going to go get Kaz, and maybe after this near-death experience you two will finally just tell each other that you love one another.”

“What? I don’t-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shake your head.

“It’s okay, he’s not very good at hiding it either.” She smirks at you before she leaves.

She’s only gone a few minutes before your door swings open with Kaz in your doorway.

“You’re awake.” He says.

You shift so that you’re sitting up on your bed. Kaz closes your door behind him, then sits down in the chair Nina had been using, his eyes trained on the floor ahead.

“I’m sorry about the heist Kaz. But I promise I didn’t tell them anything-”

“I know.”

You furrow your brows. “You know?”

He looks up at you. When he does this, you realize just how close you are to him. You can see every detail in his face. The way his blue eyes sparkled in the dim candlelight of your room. You could brush your leg against his if you shifted. You start to move away from him, afraid of touching him, but stop when what sounds like a plea escapes him.

“Stay.”

You let out the breath you’d been holding, and relax beside him.

“Nina said you were worried about me.” You say softly.

He laughs a little, shaking his head. It’s a sight he’s reserved for just you. “Of course she did.”

“Were you?”

He looks into your eyes as if he’s searching for something. “I was.” He takes a breath, then turns his body so he’s facing you. “You scared me Y/n. I thought you had died, or were close to it. And I…” His admission is quiet. “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” He hangs his head in shame. The bastard of the barrel can’t admit how he feels.

“I understand.” You nod. “I feel so much love for you Kaz, you consume my every thought. You don’t need to say anything. I understand.”

He looks up at you, surprised. Surprised that someone as pure as you, someone who was literally made to heal, could ever love someone who’s caused so much pain as he has. He slowly removes his right glove, and drops the leather to the ground. He lifts his hand to your face, hovering near your cheek.

“You don’t have to.” You whisper, body frozen.

“I want to.” He takes a deep breath in an attempt to push the waves down, and slowly caresses your cheek. His throat tightens up, and for a moment it feels like he’s drowning again. But he focuses on your warmth, and his breathing slows down again. “You are everything to me. Everything.”

-

[isthataraccoon]

imagine wylan doing one of those “rating things my mom did tiktoks” but like…with his dad

0/10 being emotionally abusive for my entire childhood what the flip dad

3/10 marrying a woman basically the same age as me (drake who)

1/10 writing me letters begging me to come home because he knows I can’t read (i mean at least I couldn’t read them??)

-1000/10 sending hitmen after me (seriously what the flip dad)

-6382/10 telling me my mom died but instead sending her to a mental hospital secretly 🥰🥰

-10912919/10 attempting to kill me AGAIN to get away with kidnapping omg dad stop

-200000000/10 letting me get beat up by gang members in order to get information about my teenage friends out of me (really feeling the love!! 🤗🤗🤗)

[yelenasbraid]

𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 — 𝒌𝒂𝒛 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒌𝒌𝒆𝒓

summary — kaz brekker has stacks of crumpled papers in his desk. no one knows what’s on those stacks of crumpled papers, or who they are addressed to.

warnings — gn!grisha!reader, angst, fluff, slightly ooc kaz because i’m still not convinced i write him good enough lol

𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐊. the papers that littered kaz brekker’s desk consisted of the usual. detailed plans of their next heist, stacks of kruge, blueprints, and other important records. that’s what everyone saw. no one saw the papers, crumpled, inside the drawers of his desk.

those papers were letters, words strung together to confess a deep rooted love. an emotion that kaz brekker wasn’t believed to have. every letter had a different version of what he wanted to tell you, but never did. he couldn’t bring himself to be vulnerable, to feel the pull of the waves at his feet. he told himself that he’d do it one day, but one day never came. it was too late.

the day you left shattered kaz. he never showed how much it affected him, not in the ways that were normal. he was irritable, more so than usual. he was irrational, he didn’t think things through and he was reckless. he was the things that he’d scold the dregs for being. the crows noticed, though. they always did.

the letters in his desk would go unread by you. the words he’d fought so hard to get right.

i can’t live without you. he sounded desperate.

the reason i come downstairs every evening is to make sure you’re alright. it was true, but again, kaz didn’t like how vulnerable he sounded.

you deserve someone better.

why did you stay with me? why not the little palace? what can i offer you that the little palace cannot?

every small slip of paper, every page, it laid crumpled in a drawer in his desk. every word he’d dreamt of saying to you, it was tucked away in a place that not even he looked at often. he didn’t want to be reminded of the vulnerability that lurked within those letters, the little boy that he fought so hard to keep down showed his face. he didn’t realize how much he needed you until you weren’t there.

“he’s getting worse,” he heard jesper say, and he would agree. he would never admit it, he would never let them see he was struggling. they could never know.

“there’s not much we can do. y/n’s in ravka, we can’t exactly make a quick trip,” nina spoke up this time. you were in ravka, alongside those who truly understood you.

“no, we can’t, maybe we could write?” wylan proposed. oh how kaz wanted to write, but where would he send it? should he send one of the letters he wrote? no, he couldn’t. they’d stay in his desk, in the drawer that rarely ever saw the candlelight.

so, he sat at his desk, going through the motions. he was as stone cold as he always was, ruling with an iron fist over the dregs. they never questioned him, even if he seemed to make irrational decisions or risky moves. that’s what he was all about, right? he didn’t need anyone. he never did.

rumor spread quickly of a ravkan ship docking in fifth harbor. kaz was disgusted at the hope that bubbled up in his chest. was it you? did you finally come back? back to him? regardless, he wouldn’t be out there. he wouldn’t be out there to greet you even though a weak part of him wanted to. he had to maintain his reputation.

you weren’t on that ravkan ship. you weren’t on any of the ones that followed either. kaz began to believe that you were never coming back, that the letters would sit in his office to never be read.

“i never told you i liked these,” you spoke, a smile blossoming on your face. kaz hid his own smile before saying,

“you sound so sure that i gave you those,”

maybe one day you’d come back and he’d tell you that those books were from him, the books you’ve been dying to get your hands on. maybe one day you’d come back and those letters would reach your fingers. little did he know, that day would come faster than he thought.

the doors to the crow club opened and shut, signaling the arrival of a patron. kaz sat in his office, blueprints in front of him. it was the layout of a mercher’s mansion, a man who owed kaz kruge but hadn’t paid up yet. he didn’t pay attention to the commotion downstairs, he didn’t hear the joy that rose up from the club. he didn’t notice anything until a knock sounded on his door. he didn’t answer, knowing whoever was on the other side would just let themselves in.

the door opened, and shut softly. kaz didn’t raise his head, he didn’t meet eyes with the person who walked through the door. soft footsteps echoed across the room, and for the first time in an hour, kaz looked up from the blueprints and laid eyes on no one other than you. he hid his surprise, his relief, but he didn’t hide his irritation, the anger of you leaving him.

“ravka not all what it seemed to be?” he asked, forcing himself to look at the blueprints. he couldn’t stare at you for too long, he knew that if he did he’d fall.

“ravka was fine,” you said as you walked closer to the desk, your eyes flicking over the blueprints. your words vibrated in his chest, causing an ache. please keep talking.

“then why are you back?” he asked, lifting his eyes to look at you. he admired you under the candlelight, how it reflected off of your skin in a way that was warm, unlike the bloated bodies that haunted his mind. you met his eyes, an ache of your own burying itself in your chest. did he care that you were gone at all?

“maybe because i wanted to be back, but i can go if that’ll ease your mind,” you bit out. kaz caught it, too. he could no longer focus on the blueprints, so he kept his eyes on you, holding your eye contact.

“no,” he swallowed. please don’t leave. silence fell between you, and you just stood there, admiring him for a moment. the dark circles under his eyes, the lines of his face, the way his hair was disheveled. you knew that he was different based on the testimonies of the others, but they told you it was because you left. you didn’t believe them, why would he care if you were gone?

“the others said things were different,”

“things are fine,”

“are they?” you asked, “kaz, what’s going on?” his heart sped up, but he managed to keep himself calm. he didn’t want you to leave again, he couldn’t bare it.

“it’s none of your concern,”

“stop lying,” you were serious. he clenched his jaw, wanting so badly to fire something back. to tell you that you had no business talking to him like that.

“you’re bold to accuse me of such a thing,” he snapped back.

“maybe i am,” you fired back. he hated this. he hated arguing with you, especially when you were right, which was more than half of the time. silence fell between you again, and kaz only looked at you. his expression, reluctantly, fell. he was so fed up with the papers in his desk taking up room, but also reminding him of his weakness, you.

he walked around behind his desk and pulled out the drawer, pulling out the papers. you watched him, your own expression softening. he walked back to you, hesitating. he shouldn’t be doing this. what if you never felt the same? what if he mistook all of those soft touches for something else? or the time you so gently cleaned his wounds after a job gone wrong? 

he shakily held a letter out to you. the one that he thought was the best of the several. you took it, and opened it, reading it slowly and digesting it.

stay. stay in ketterdam.

you folded it up, a smile on your face, and put it back in his hands, folding his gloved hands over top of it. kaz looked at you, his eyes searching your expression. his stomach bubbled with the desire to kiss you and the waves that threatened to overtake him. he couldn’t lose you again, so, he took your hand and brought it up to his cheek. your hand was warm against his skin, just how he’d thought it would be. you softly caressed his cheek before pulling away, noticing the waves starting to overtake him.

“i’m not going to leave you, kaz brekker,” you whispered. so, his letters became the letters he never sent. you were able to read them from there.

this is the winner of the polls! hope you guys enjoy and get your fill!

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

It genuinely keeps me up at night that when Van Eck attempts to reveal to the Merchant Council that Wylan can’t read, they all react exactly as Wylan feared they would. (Spoilers ahead!) Of course since they don’t believe him and Wylan’s brilliant memory for Jesper’s words protects him we don’t see the full force of their response, but it is made PAINFULLY clear that they all would have responded the same way Van Eck did - “How could you say such things about your own blood?”. It’s an incredibly meaningful and arguably subtle detail that Bardugo implements to remind the reader that although Van Eck was our main antagonist in this case, there is no singular villain in this story because what the characters are fighting is an ultimately unbeatable source. The system is impossible to truly defeat because it is a hydra, we see that when Dryden’s father died he took on the role of the Council and acted the exact same way he did, and if Van Eck had raised Wylan to one day take over from him then he too would have been forcibly moulded into that shape by the poisonous environment of this governing body. The defeat of Van Eck, had Kaz not amended his will to name Wylan his inheritor, would have been only that: the downfall of a singular man, to be easily replaced by another with the same dangerously capitalistic values and crude methods of implementing them. It would not have been any change in the system that oppresses the main characters - I think it’s kind of similar to the Hunger Games (spoilers ahead) when Katniss chooses to kill Coin instead of Snow because she realises that killing Snow doesn’t actually change the system if someone else will simply step into his shoes. We also see this reflected in Kaz and his mission to destroy Rollins, since by doing so he too has taken the actions Rollins did. When Inej points out their similarities he denies it, saying “I don’t sell girls, I don’t con helpless kids out of their money”. Inej replies with the gentle, HEARTBREAKING sentence: “Look at the floor of the Crow Club, Kaz”. And this is so important because Kaz has no consideration for what happens to those people once they step outside his door. How do they fair after he scams them? How many of them have had no other money to fall back on? Did one of them sell their daughter to be able to pay off their debts to him? He’d never know, he just had the money and that’s all he thinks about. But if that girl survived long enough to want revenge, who would she blame? Say she didn’t want to blame her parents, like Kaz doesn’t want to blame Jordie, then who becomes the manifestation of all her hatred, the one thing she has decided that destroying will cure her? Kaz does. Just as Rollins has for him.

Every system of this city is a hydra, and there are so many beautifully written reminders of this without forcing it down our throats, but there is also the hope of genuine, real change. In Wylan, joining the Merchant Council as someone opposed to its views, as someone who has lived in both sides of this city and been abused by both of them, as someone who understands that real change is hard to implement. In Inej, as she journeys against the system that abused her not for revenge, but for the protection of all the children who have been hurt and killed, of all the children being hurt and killed, and of all the children who would have been hurt and killed if she didn’t stop the slavers who sought them, as someone who knows that real change is action. In Jesper, as someone raised far from the suffocating closed-minded atmosphere of the Merchant Council and who can support Wylan through it, as someone who knows that striving for real change is messy and chaotic, but that it’s where he thrives. In Matthias, who died believing that the world could truly change, who died believing in Nina, believing in himself, and believing that his death was a necessary sacrifice to real change, even though he wanted it to be peaceful. In Nina, as someone who had learned that real change cannot always be won with violence, as someone who will learn to use her new power to restructure a civilisation, as someone who will spend the rest of her life striving for change because nothing could ever be worse than her beloved having died in vain. And in Kaz, in the small ways, in the fear of what he could become that will hold him back from becoming the next head of the hydra, in his love for Inej shifting his perception of the world, and in his slow journey of healing, maybe one day killing Rollins will be enough. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll burn the world down and start it all again.

[dearmrsawyer]

no year in review because it was all horrible really so instead i'm gonna take this chance to share a pile of incredible soc fics because they gave me somewhere else to be

these are all amazing stories and they made me feel a variety of things, and i've been compelled to return to all of them more than once. there are honestly more but this was getting very long. all fic authors thank you so much for putting such beautiful things out into the world ✨

To Everything There Is A Season by @basicbard, @ace-kaz-brekker

When times on the farm get tough, Jesper decides to make use of the old temple in the woods. Almost coincidentally, he meets a strange boy in the same woods shortly after. Are his prayers truly being answered? And why does the stranger seem to know so much?

Incredibly incredibly lovely little mythical fic that i am so enchanted by, this is a type of story that i'm always looking for and when someone who shares your interest happens to create it that is a gift from god, frankly

out of the forest (into a home) by stillthestars

Wylan is adrift in the city; Jesper and the rest of the Crows take him in. Daemon AU.

I have read this fic so many times, every couple of months at least, and the comments are turned off so i can never tell the author how much I love what they've created and i literally lie awake at night haunted by this (i do mean literally).

A Shot in the Dark by alex_kade

The Crows are on a treasure hunt, but when Wylan gets seriously injured the mission becomes one of saving their friend. OR yet another fic where Wylan is the bravest of brave little toasters.

The first in my love affair with fics where Wylan gets shot lol. "bravest of brave little toasters" lives in my head rent free always.

A Measure of the Sum of Parts by @kindness-ricochets

Wylan is trying to improve Kerch and Jesper is trying to be happy with his life. After an accident he heads for the Little Palace to learn how to control his abilities, and Wylan uncovers yet another dark family secret. Reunions in Ravka, political machinations, and the beauty of a strange little family.

The other fic i am biologically compelled to reread every couple of months. So so many fics by this author touch me, but this one is seriously everything to me.

Musée des Beaux Arts by @oneofthewednesdays

Six portraits of life and death in Ketterdam featuring the interwoven stories of Wylan Van Eck and Kaz Brekker.

One of the best fics i've ever read in any fandom, an utterly perfect character analysis fic about the Wylan/Kaz parallels

the handmaid by MaudeAlise

It’s a relatively straightforward job: Jesper will pretend to be the handmaid to the withdrawn and sheltered Van Eck heir, and convince him to elope with another mercher. That’s all Jesper has to do on his end, and then the Crows will walk away with 45 million kruge. It’s a simple task. Or it would be, if not for the fact that there seems to be more to Wylan Van Eck than meets the eye, and Jesper can’t help but be intrigued—and maybe a bit charmed, too.

Me reading this fic channeling whatever energy those instagram romantasy readers possess, like ok i get the feeling you guys are trying to express i really get it now. what on earth could be better than Jesper employed to be Wylan's handmaid. maybe nothing? SO compelling

under a merciless white light by @feelinglikecleopatra

Jesper decides to grow out his hair.

one of the most moving fics i've ever read ever, idek how to express it

Love is War (And War is Hell) by @silverbirching

Jesper and Wylan face their biggest challenge as a couple to date: dealing with a houseguest. (and that houseguest has done war crimes)

WIP. Nothing could've prepared me for how completely smitten I would be with the concept of Jesper and Wylan taking care of a wounded Ivan. Like i'm head over heels for this fic, its hilarious and sweet and emotional, it is just way too delightful, i can't handle it

Flight of the Butterfly / Symbiosis by @jazzythursday

travel time between Shu Han and Ravka. Jesper wanders onto the deck of the Hummingbird at night, restless and looking for… something, and finds Wylan instead. Conversations about sensitive topics ensue, and even Crows need sleep.

my fav missing scene fic inspired by SAB!!!! I was DESPERATE for more time on that ship and this fic gave me everything i wanted. the characterisation in this fic is flawless

If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did by gglow

Jesper and Wylan's first times at the Van Eck mansion, because we all need closure.

i can't get enough of fics set immediately after CK exploring how Wylan and Jesper settle into the mansion, this might be my favourite one i've read, its just so tender

somewhere full of bright colours and beautiful sounds by @jackwolfes

A Marya Hendriks Van Eck character study, aka Marya adjusts to life back in Ketterdam.

So many fics by this author, but i think about this fic all of the time. Its the fic i've always wanted and its everything i could've hoped for.

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Pentagram by @emmy-everafter

Nina Zenik is a vet med student who's almost done with her clinical rotations… but she's also secretly a very powerful witch. When someone brings a cursed, injured werewolf into the animal hospital, Nina decides to try to save his life, despite the bitter hatred that exists between wolves and witches. She enlists the help of her housemates, Jesper (who's also a witch), Inej (who's fae), and Kaz (who may or may not be a vampire). But breaking this curse requires more than Nina bargained for, and time is running out. Can the Crows save the werewolf before it's too late? More importantly, can they do it under the nose of their all-too-human housemate, Wylan? And--perhaps the most important question of all--will Nina finally get some decent waffles?

PURE joy, just made me so happy??? extremely delightful, fun, also super touching. Just so so so rich. One of my fav AUs, making all the crows a different creature and then putting them in a house together, A+.

To Live in Color by @sixofcrowdaydreams

As a child Wylan Van Eck was told by his father that domestic labor is all he will ever accomplish since he cannot read. He’s grown up cleaning his own family’s home. It’s not easy work, but it’s gotten easier over the years. If only he wasn’t so lonely. But now that his father has remarried and a has a new heir on the way, Wylan has the suspicion that he won’t be kept around much longer, even to clean. So for once in Wylan’s life, he decides to live for himself. Just this once. He’ll attend the King’s Masquerade Ball whether his father wants him there or not. However, his plan the night of the masquerade goes sideways when he meets a handsome sharpshooter and the criminal crew he runs with carrying out a heist at the palace. Wesper Cinderella AU

one of those perfect storm fics where not only is the writing wonderful, the characterisation on point, but the story itself is just SO engrossing. this was heartbreaking and uplifting

The In-Between by @sparrowmoth

Born into a world where a highly stigmatized and exploited series of genetic mutations can completely strip you of your humanity, Wylan has known since childhood that something was different about him. The same something different that is said to have killed his mother. Now, abandoned by his father, and his world shrunk to a cage, he must decide if to accept his fate or risk everything to change it.

WIP. The.... worldbuilding..... magnifique. this fic has me exclaiming GOD at least once a chapter lol. I haven't read many hybrid fics in my time but i fear i am now spoiled and no one can live up to this

Crows of the Saintly Days by Allthebestpeopleare

A very chaotic Inej, Nina and Jesper go to Ketterdam University. Things start to get interesting when Nina catches the eye of a cute jock in psych class, a very shy and sweet Wylan stumbles into their friend group, and a past associate of Inej's makes more and more appearances.

Prob the longest fic i've ever read, but genuinely would not sacrifice a single word. Weaves textfic and prose, and altho imo textfic can be kinda vapid/ooc what starts out as v light fun spirals into a wonderfully well developed story that really deeply moved me, and i loved the style!

Blood in the Water by hopeisbloody

Kaz Brekker runs the Barrel, his Wraith, and his Sharpshooter at either side for eternity. Jesper Fahey, ten years into his immortality, still a fledgling at heart, feels lost, alone, empty. Kaz and Inej have each other, and they have had each other for centuries. Even in their inner circle, he’s excluded from the millennia of memories they share. Their rule is disrupted. Bodies appear, drowned, drained of blood. Wylan is back, but what for?

This is one of the coolest Wylan characterisations i've ever read, such an incredibly engrossing story, I literally could not stop reading

We Keep This Dream Together by @magicandpizza

An entirely self-indulgent, vaguely chaotic, mostly sweet Six of Crows coffee shop/university AU, based (largely) on my experiences of the UK university system. Mostly focused on Wesper, but with sides of Helnik and Kanej too.

The most comfort fic ever, its not technically a Christmas fic (altho it does appear in a chapter) but feels like a Christmas fic to me because it makes me feel a sense of warmth and comfort that time of year embodies

a path to normal by seimaisin

Home is a difficult concept for Wylan and his mother. Jesper makes it easier.

so delicate and lovely, another fic set in the direct aftermath of CK focused on Marya returning home, which i can never get enough of <3333

In a Full Life, All Hearts Break a Little by alcove_words

Two years after the end of Crooked Kingdom, Jesper finally visits Novyi Zem and the father and life he left behind. But he isn't alone; Wylan comes, as well, determined to be supportive. Neither of them expects it to be an easy trip, but Novyi Zem holds more for both of them than they are prepared for.

Selling my soul for all fics set in Novyi Zem, but this one...... so SO beautiful. So conversation-based but full of story, so BIG hearted, such unbelievably beautiful writing.

Of Bronze and Blaze by amagicbeyond

This is a Wesper-centric reimagining of Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom, through the lens of the Shadow and Bones TV canon.

WIP. Oh my god????? Oh... my god. I don't even have words for this one, its just unbelievable

[mikasaerens]

Shadow and Bone- Season 2 Thoughts

Patrick is EXCELLENT as Nikolai, I can’t believe I ever doubted him, he was killer 

Jesper is incredible, I want to see Kit be famous forever, he’s so charismatic and charming 

Mal and Alina have only platonic, sibling, friendship chemistry

Darklina are far more interesting and compelling and their chemistry is actually more romantic and sensual

One scene of Darklina just talking to each other is far more electric than Mal/Alina kissing 

Tolya and Tamar’s introduction had me on my KNEES bitch

Pekka Rollins is fucking incredible, he’s a great and intimidating and memorable villain 

“Oh my trembling heart” NINA IS SO ICONIC

The Darkling’s intro was incredible, he’s already even more dynamic this season than last

The CROWS ALL TOGETHER, AT LAST!! 

Wylan is absolutely perfect, I had my doubts about him since he doesn’t look anything like I pictured, but the actor is amazing and really stepped into the character 

Wesper under the carriage flirting while getting shot at it is peak romance 

Malina is such a boring relationship fr, I like Mal in the show but their relationship is so passionless and boring, I get it, they’re a “healthy” relationship but that’s not a justification for being a boring relationship to watch, this is fiction not real life, people want interesting dynamics between characters

Jesper calling Kaz his brother and Kaz agreeing and smiling!!!! BITCHHHHH I’m in pain, I love them so much

David is a treasure

I need a spin-off of just Tolya and Tamar bc they were nothing short of incredible, I loved every scene of theirs, they totally stole the show 

THE CUT is the coolest and most badass magic in this magic system 

Kanej were incredible and the BEST thing about the show as usual, they’re my favorite ship of all time and I’ve shipped them for so long now that I don’t have anything new to say tbh but I will say that we got entirely too little of them, we needed more scenes of them- the dream sequence changed my life, I’ve been wishing to see a moment like that between them for years, the “I will have you without armor” entire sequence in the Church was phenomenal but I’m not obsessed with the way it ended with Inej leaving and that weird insinuation with Tolya and Inej was NOT IT. 

Genya is incredible, Daisy’s acting is out of this world, I remember when I first read SAB, Genya was my favorite character 

I feel like Darklina got completely shafted in this season, I liked seeing The Darkling’s complex feelings towards Alina, but Alina’s feelings towards the Darkling are completely different than they were in the book. In the books it was way more complex and intriguing. 

Zoyalai “I could fix him” BIIIITCCHHHHHH IM SCREAMINGGGGG

Alina as queen with Zoya and Genya working with her is BRILLIANT. Jessie’s coronation outfit and makeup is GORGEOUS. 

The ending was fucking phenomenal, with that whole setup for the Ice Court and Alina having shadow powers and smiling about it??? I’m obsessed. I need s3 yesterday 

[undercover-grisha]

I’ve never like truly thought abt it this way, but I really love how Jesper and Wylan’s relationship is like two guns pointed at each other’s chests, trusting one another not to pull.

If Wylan reveals Jesper is Grisha, Jesper can reveal Wylan can’t read, and vice versa.

Wylan gets kicked out of the Merchant council, out of his business, loses everything. Jesper gets pulled into the shitty “not-slavery” that Ketterdam claims is respectful.

But the best part is is that they trust each other so much neither of them even think of that as a backup plan

[bug-under-a-rug]

the crows as my notes app quotes (pt 2)

jesper: i can’t just wear my slut shorts and a tank top! i’ll get cold

kaz: i really love that guy and i wanna watch him suffer

wylan: i’m gonna grab my flute. (distantly) AWAY!!

jesper: why is there so much moisture?

wylan: because i’m sad

nina: orbs… you lost me man

wylan: diy music reading babyyy

mattias: it’s called being dirty minded and it’s usually frowned upon in mature society

inej: no you can not have my toes

jesper: ohhhhh that hurt. right in the cheese whiz

inej: i don’t like him anymore because he’s not attractive- I MEAN ATTRACTED TO WOMEN

wylan: my eyes are like, it’s time for a nap now bud

[swanimagines]

CONFESSIONS OF A CROW | WESPER + KAZ

Summary: Wylan thinks Jesper doesn't care about him, and you try to comfort him. For your surprise, Wylan has something to tell to you too.

The Crow Club’s game nights were loud and cheerful events, and Jesper was all over the tables, building the spirit in the room. Scent of alcohol and cigars floated in the air, and the sound of laughter and clinking glasses filled the downstairs as a whole.

Wylan and you sat at the farthest corner from the entrance, just spending time. The wooden table was slightly sticky, apparently someone had spilled alcohol on it at some point. The candle flame flickered slightly as Wylan played with it while staring at it deep in thought, and you were just about to ask what he’s thinking when he flinched upon another round of cheers and crooned his neck to look at one of the game tables. Jesper had once again won another round, making you turn your head to your friend and raise a glass for him once he caught your eyes. Then you turned your head back to Wylan, who sighed and returned to staring at the candle. You frowned, knowing to read people enough to know something was wrong. So you touched his hand to get his attention.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” you asked, and Wylan stared at you for a moment before laying his gaze down on the table.

“It’s nothing. Nothing important,” he mumbled, and you sighed, raising your eyebrows at him. He squirmed a little and then let out a sigh of his own. “I slept with Jesper.”

Your eyebrows shot up at that; sure, Jesper was sleeping around with people he met at bars and restaurants to have fun, but for this short time you had known Wylan, he didn’t feel like such a person. But you weren’t judgemental by any means, Jesper was a charmer and you could see that he’d be dragged along by Jesper after some flirting. Hell, Jesper had gotten you to blush a few times with his flirts when you first joined Dregs.

“Really? When did that happen?” you asked, trying to keep your tone neutral.

“It’s been a while. Two months? Or three maybe? But… he managed me to grow feelings for him, and knowing who he is… I don’t think he’d like me back. He doesn’t even remember me.” His voice trailed off at the end, and he laid his gaze back to his hands. “I know it’s stupid.”

You shook your head, squeezing his hand. “It’s not stupid, Wylan. A lot of people have been in your situation at some point. But you can’t let the fear of heartbreak to get in your way, you deserve to be happy and even if Jesper doesn't return your feelings, at least you know then. You won't stay in it welling and cursing yourself over not speaking up if he ever ends up being serious with someone else."

He scoffed. “Easy for you to say when you hold the heart of the Bastard of the Barrel himself. Do you even realise how I envy the way Kaz looks at you, how I would wish somebody would look at me like that? Kaz is closed off, cold and guarded, someone you wouldn’t think would like anyone, and still you have managed to catch him without even trying to win him over. Jesper is everything but like that, and still he thinks I’m nothing but a fling, just an asset for pleasure. I’d be a fool if I went to him and tell him how do I feel.”

Your heart skipped a beat at him mentioning about Kaz’s feelings for you, making you freeze up - it was true that you had been teased about it, and Kaz did have odd reasons for why he suddenly didn’t want to assign you on scouting missions anymore if the building was heavily guarded. But it wasn’t like he had feelings for you. Even when you wished it would be the reason for that.

“Kaz? What? He isn’t… no, he doesn’t, you’ve misunderstood something. And he’s my boss, it would be weird, he sees me only professionally and… I see him only professionally too,” you denied it, trying to contain your voice squeaking. Wylan raised his eyebrows at you, and you felt your face heating up when you realised he’s not buying it.

"He basically admitted it to Inej. Inej told him to let his guard down for you if he wants you to see him as anything else as your boss, and he told her that he doesn't want to drag you into his life, that you'd only get hurt when you'd see how he really is," Wylan mumbled. "Then they sensed someone is listening in so I dashed away before they caught me."

You didn't reply, just tried to calm your racing heart. You were quiet for a few seconds before you cleared your throat, trying to quickly jump away from the subject before anyone would hear you. “Anyway, Jesper is not Kaz. He’s not gonna smack you with his gun if you go and ask him if he’d be willing to talk with you. Or go on another date. If I went to Kaz’s office and asked him to come down to have a dining date with me, even if he did have feelings for me, which he doesn’t, he’d look at me as if I was crazy and either ignore me or tell me to get out his office.” 

Wylan chuckled weakly at your words. “I guess you’re right about that.”

You smiled. “You should talk to Jesper. Maybe he feels the same way about you. And even if not, at least you won’t have any regrets. You won’t watch him get together with someone else and wonder why didn’t you ever say anything.”

Wylan nodded slowly, his eyes shifting back to Jesper, who had just finished playing and had made his way to the bar counter. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. I should try to talk to him.”

Your smile widened as you jumped a little bit in your seat, gesturing him to go on, gently nudging him forward when he passed you. Wylan walked to Jesper slowly, talking with him for a moment before sitting down beside him, and you almost felt the connection they already had. You turned your back on them, and continued sipping on your drink as you dug up your ongoing book from your bag. 

And just for a moment, you wondered if you’d ever really have chances with Kaz. If everyone pointing how Kaz looks at you and how ridiculous his reasons for taking you out from all the dangerous jobs are were actually onto something, what could it carry? Would Kaz shut it down, force himself not to feel, or would he let himself feel? Would you be there with Wylan and Jesper as a couple?

You hoped you’d get the answer for that sometime in the future, but for now, you were only happy that you had potentially helped Wylan and Jesper to get to know each other better, and maybe get together. They both deserved happiness, and you were happy if they found it within themselves.

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[magicandpizza]

“Person who believes they’re hard to love” and “person who thinks loving them is as easy as breathing” but make it wesper.

“Alright, that’s everything sorted for the fruit imports from the Southern Colonies,” Jesper says, dating the document he’s been working on and carefully adding it to the correct folder. “What do you want to tackle next, sugar cane or…” He rifles through their stack of mail until he finds the letter he’s looking for, printed on thick lavender paper and embossed in gold. He holds it up with a grimace. “This summer ball invite from Boreg?”

As soon as he looks up from the desk he realises something is wrong. His merchling has curled up on the armchair, knees tucked up to his chest as he picks at the skin of his fingers.

“Wy? Love, what’s wrong?”

Wylan sniffles and wipes the back of his sleeve across his nose. “I don’t deserve you.”

Discarding the offensively lurid ball invite on the desk, Jesper crosses the room and kneels on the floor in front of him. “What do you mean, darling?”

“I know you hate it, having to read everything to me all the time. I know how fidgety you get when you have to sit still, and I basically trapped you here with me because you’re too much of a good person to leave.” The words spill from Wylan’s lips in a sad, frustrated wave.

“Hey, hey,” Jesper says soothingly, placing a hand over Wylan’s where he’s clenching and unclenching them against his knees, but now that the dam has broken, the words just keep flowing.

“And I know it’s not easy for you, because I’m, well, me, and I’m hard to love and-”

“Wylan.”

So, so carefully, like he’s afraid he’ll flinch away and disappear if he moves too quickly, Jesper cups Wylan’s cheek with one hand and encourages him to lift his head to look at him. “Firstly, you didn’t trap me here, I offered. You’re right that import taxes and bills of lading don’t exactly get me going, but I promise you, I’m right where I want to be, because I’m with you.”

Wylan’s mouth opens to speak again, but Jesper places one ringed finger to his lips.

“And secondly, you are not hard to love.”

Wylan’s eyes bore into his, wide as ever and glossy with tears. Jesper strokes his thumb over his cheekbone before continuing.

“Loving you is… it’s the only thing that’s ever made sense. You may have almost died in the canal, but I was drowning too, and I didn’t even know it.”

Now he’s the one who can’t stop talking, but something about Wylan’s gorgeous, brown eyes, the way he’s looking at Jesper so hopefully, makes him want to keep going.

“Then I met you and it was like I could breathe again.”

If he could pull his heart out of his chest, hold it in his hands and present it to Wylan and say “here, it’s yours” then he would. It would probably be easier.

He takes a calming breath and plasters an admittedly somewhat weak smile on his face. “So no more of this kind of nonsense okay? Because loving you is the easiest thing in the world.”

Wylan’s returning smile is just as wobbly. The tears that have been clinging to his lashes and threatening to fall finally do, tumbling down his pink-tinged cheeks. “You’re such a sap,” he finally manages to say, tugging Jesper close by the nape of his neck and pressing their lips together in a slightly damp kiss. “And I’m definitely not doing any more paperwork after that speech.”

[georgies-ftts]

i swear to god i will combust if the spin off starts with the van eck reveal and Jesper is PISSED and they argue about trust and secrets and the room in the slat gets brought up so Wylan does a runner because he can’t handle the anger is Jespers voice cause it reminds him too much of his fathers rage

‘n’ then Wylan is walking through the barrel to either the Tannery or just somewhere to get away for a bit and then BAM his fathers hit men fuck him right up and he’s bloody and messy and hurt but he fights like the lil canal rat he is and blows em to shit and ends up stumbling his arse back to the tannery where he does a shit job of patching himself up and after a few hours or a day or two jesper is panicking cause he hasn’t seen Wylan so he goes looking and he finds him and sees him hurt and he goes mental (cue: “who did this to you”) and Wylan brings up the letters and asks Jes to read them to him and once he’s done he explains everything and jesus christ-

not a coherent thought was had

but i still wanna see it

(new game: take a shot every time i say ‘and’)

[cryoverlife]

Guys omg Wylan should learn Morse code.

like he’d be so good at it because he’s good at memorizing and it would be a great way to teach him to “read” (he can’t like actually read but I don’t know how else to put it). it just dots and dashes so he’s be able to understand it.

And I feel like he’d have fun learning it and then teaching the other crows so Kaz could send him super secret message or Jesper could talk with him during merchant council meetings. He could leave sweet messages for his mom and Jesper around the house.

and he’d have so much fun!!!!

[deckersfield]

i think about kaz and wylan’s relationship a lot and how kaz is kind of the only in the crows that can truly understand wylan and his disability and he never lets wylan feel any less for it, kaz speaks of his talents and courage and i think it’s just amazing

these are some of the scenes i love but there’s definitely more

i especially love this scene, the fact that kaz accommodates for the fact that wylan can’t read, like it’s literally that easy

[yelenasbraid]

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 — 𝒌𝒂𝒛 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒌𝒌𝒆𝒓

summary — you’re captured on a heist and you’re sure to let your kidnapper know how dangerous you are.

warnings — gn!energy summoner!reader, angst, mentions of injury/blood, touch aversion, mention of mental manipulation (it’s towards her kidnapper), some fluff

note — have i written an energy summoner reader before? yes. do i plan on stopping eventually? also yes. is that time now? absolutely not

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍’𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓. you were thorough, silent as vapor. what went wrong?

the problem wasn’t that you didn’t see them coming. you did. they weren’t exactly quiet about their plans for you; people forget that there was a breed of individual who could read minds. you didn’t fault them for that; it was an easy mistake.

the problem was you didn’t have enough time to do anything about it.

you landed on your feet after scaling the side of a building. a mercher’s mansion filled with paintings, jewels, and enough stacks of kruge to put all of the crows into retirement.

you knew eyes were on you. you didn’t mind them, though. one wrong move and they’d be on their knees, begging you for mercy. this was different. these men were prepared. they blew a whistle, and to the ordinary citizen of ketterdam, it sounded like air being blown through a tube. to you, it was much much worse.

it sounded like a high pitched squeal, nails running down a chalkboard. your hands flew to your ears, your knees buckling. they knew. you didn’t have the time or the energy to figure out if that was a good thing or not. before you could force yourself to move on, hands were around your wrists, binding you. you were forced to your knees, your vision was hazy, the buildings becoming blurs. the light sprinkle splashed against your face, but with how your head pounded, you barely registered it.

“i can’t believe we actually caught one,” one of the mercenaries spoke behind you. one? what were you, an object? an animal?

“you’ve no idea who you’re messing with,” you slurred, but they did. they knew exactly who they were messing with.

“oh shut up,” came the annoyed voice of another man, and a sharp pain exploded in your head, darkness overtaking you.

———

your eyes peeled open, the dim lighting of whatever room you were in being the first to register. then it was the pain. your head throbbed, your mouth tasted of metal. you were drowsy, out of it and panic started to build in your chest. you didn’t panic, you never did. but, your thoughts betrayed you as your eyes brought themselves to the ceiling. was inej up there, scoping out the place? was kaz somewhere, picking a lock to get in? was jesper with nina, creating some sort of distraction? what about wylan, had he created a bomb or something like it? or matthias? were any of them there? did they even notice?

the doors to the room you were held in opened. you were restrained to a chair, chains binding your ankles and wrists. anger boiled your blood, your mind filled with rage; they don’t know what they have coming for them.

“well, would you look at that. little lassie is awake,” his accent was thick, whoever he was. he was deduced to be a man named tomas duval. a scowl painted itself across your features, your eyes hardened. the look was enough to send shivers down inej’s spine.

hours earlier, when you didn’t come back with the rest of them, kaz sent inej out to find you. he was frantic, his body shaking with the unbridled rage that was boiling inside of him. it wasn’t because you couldn’t protect yourself, no, it was because someone dared to touch you.

you being handed off to some merchant was expected given your value in kruge. you’d asked him that once.

“how can i trust that you won’t give me up for 600,000 kruge?”

he wouldn’t. he’d never. he didn’t tell you that though.

“you don’t,”

so, inej watched from a window, the merchant inside being too caught up with his victory to realize she was watching. finding you had been easy. getting in was the hard part, and inej prayed that kaz and jesper were working on a way in.

“what a prize you are,” his voice was gravelly, and normally you’d not mind it, but this man wasn’t kaz brekker. “ravka will pay a lot to have you back,” he spat. had he alerted ravka yet? you wriggled your hands in your restraints, keeping your eyes on him and your lips tight. if this man was going to kill you, he was going to look you in the eyes as he did it.

“so, while we wait, tell me something, summoner,” duval left your personal space and filled himself up a glass of whiskey. he took a sip, smacking his lips, clearing the liquid off of his greying mustache. “you ran to brekker, of all people, and somehow he’s not turned you in. a man renowned for his love of money, and yet, you remain unharmed. you’re even one of his crows,” he sneered as he said the word ‘crows,’ reminding himself of the vile nature of brekker’s brood.

“why are you so special?” he asked. you didn’t answer, but your hands were free. you held your restraints in your hands as a triumphant grin fought its way onto your face.

“i thought you’d known that by now,” your voice was calm, collected, like a smooth stream. except it wasn’t peaceful, it was a rushing river barreling towards its next victim. you would show no mercy.

“brekker is a hard man to crack,” a poor excuse. you didn’t speak again, only waiting for him to mess up again. he was bound to. you knew it.

“let me ask you something,” you started. you were playing with fire, but your hands were free. the temptation to get into his head was too strong.

“what?”

“what’s your biggest fear?” you asked, your eyes challenging, “it’s not losing money, no, that’s what every mercher says. it’s something deep down, a secret that you wouldn’t even tell your wife,” this was dangerous, but this man was going to sell you like an animal at an auction. you had every right to play with his head.

he swallowed.

“is it losing your wife? no, that’s too noble for you,” you cock your head to the side, as if you were unscrewing him, “it’s losing. all together. you’re afraid of being a loser,” and the consequence shortly followed. in two quick strides, duval was in front of you and with one swift motion, lodged a knife in your thigh. a shout rang from your lips, but also to anyone who was listening, a laugh. you laughed in the face of the man who stabbed and twisted the knife in your thigh, of the man who was going to sell you to make a pretty penny.

“you’re crazy,” he breathed. pain erupted in your thigh, sending an unpleasant shiver down your spine. saints, this hurt.

“good,” you were breathless, fighting the black dots that spotted your vision. the doors flung open, and your eyes focused again. jesper held his gun to duval’s temple, his face hardened and twisted with anger, but not as much as kaz’s. kaz brekker didn’t hesitate to swing his cane at duval’s legs, and then again at his face, knocking him out cold. relief flooded your body, tears finally streaming down your face. everything hurt. everything ached and for a moment you swore you were going to pass out.

“y/n? y/n look at me,” it was his voice. you gritted your teeth as you looked at kaz, who was knelt down in front of you. he undid the chains around your ankles before meeting eyes with you again. he could see the shine of your blood against your dark pants, he could see the cut at your temple, and he also picked up on the fact you were fighting consciousness.

“kaz,” you breathed as he stood up. nina was still outside, inej was on the roof, matthias was with nina and wylan and jesper were with kaz. they needed to get out of there. now.

kaz didn’t say a word, but as he fought the ocean at his knees, he drew you into his arms, carrying you out of the building. your vision blurred as he carried you, the uneven pace he had jostling the knife in your thigh. you didn’t say a word though, but you subconsciously pulled yourself closer to him.

———

the next time you woke up you were met with a friendlier atmosphere. you were in your room at the slat, and you inhaled deeply. your eyes slid over the room, eventually landing on a figure at the foot of your bed, sitting in his own chair.

“kaz?” your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, thoughts that ate him up inside. images of you bleeding out dissipated as you sat before him, your thigh tightly wrapped. you were alive. you were ok.

“did you get the painting?” you asked him. he almost smiled, almost. of course you’d ask about the job and if they succeeded. 

“we did,” he answered simply, but he wanted to say more. he wanted to talk to you more, hear your voice and he wanted to comfort you. he saw your eyes, the pain and the panic that rose up in them. he couldn’t though, he couldn’t comfort you like the others could.

“did…did duval ever notify ravka?” the question haunted you and you weren’t sure you wanted the answer. did you need to run again? kaz saw the panic in your eyes, the heaving of your chest. he knew that feeling, he weight of your past refusing to leave.

“no, he never did.” he informed you. you breathed a sigh of relief as tears brimmed your eyes. he stood up and sat on the bed at your side. every part of him told him to leave, to retreat back to where it’s safe, but he also wanted to be there. he wanted to hold your hand, even if was for mere seconds. every part of him also told him this was right.

he reached out, hesitantly, and laid his hand on top of your own. the waters stayed at bay, and his chest constricted, but his love for you surpassed it all. his hand moved to your face, brushing a piece of hair out of the way, his gloved fingers caressing your skin. your eyes closed at the contact, it telling you more than an embrace ever could.

“inej told me you laughed when you were stabbed,” he brought up, fighting a proud grin. he removed his hand from your face, but kept it close to your hand.

“i like to play with fire,” you shrugged. kaz held the smallest of smiles because he knew you did.

“too much,” he remarked. you rolled your eyes, but he didn’t leave. he stayed, and every now and then your fingers would brush against each other, a subtle reminder that you were ok. 

this was a long one and an idea i thought of in the shower. so. enjoy.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I so often think about what the tone of scene with the backless book would have looked like in the Six of Crows spin off.

In Six of Crows, when the crew arrive in Djerholm they go to an Inn and sit on the terrace to give them a clear, if distant, view of the road that leads to the Ice Court, and Kaz uses a device he calls a 'backless book' to see the prison wagon on the road with perfect clarity - it looks like a perfeclty normal book until you hold it open on a specific page at a specific angle. He passes the book around without telling anyone that it is actually a mirrored lens so that no-one else on the terrace will know what they're talking about, and when Wylan is offered the book by Jesper he initially refuses to take it. He asks 'What does it say?' and Jesper replies 'Just look'. In this scene everyone, including the reader, is yet to learn that Wylan cannot read and therefore this line doesn't have any particular impact on us in the moment, except as a continuation of the idea that Wylan feels uncomfortable and that the others tend to be impatient with him for the way he doesn't fit into their world. But imagine what this scene would look like with the added subtext that Jesper already knows he can't read but the others don't! AND the added subtext they already have an established relationship!!

Imagine the panic in Wylan's eyes slowly growing as the book moves round the group, imagine the hesitation in his voice as he asks Jesper what it says, imagine Jesper softening his voice to reassure him as he gently tells him that he just has to look.

And on this same vein, imagine Jesper beginning to piece together why Wylan 'left' his father's house early on. Imagine Jesper standing on the deck of the Ferolind with Inej as she quietly tells him that Van Eck writes to Wylan every week and Wylan doesn't even open the letters, the way she'd study him as she noticed that he knew something more than her but would never pry. Imagine the way the tone would change for when Wylan is drawing the maps of the Ice Court and says he hasn’t labelled anything because he doesn’t know Fjerdan, despite the fact that he’s already revealed he speaks Fjerdan - in the book no-one questions it and I think that’s partly due to Jesper mocking him and saying that he probably doesn’t speak it well (it’s confirmed later that he does) and partly due to the way he doesn’t fit in and the others aren’t really paying him much attention; it’s a brief moment the reader doesn’t put much stock into until they find out that Wylan can’t read at the end of the book. The added dimension of us already having that subtext would have been absolutely fascinating and I am so so upset we don’t get to see it play out, especially since we would probably have a lot of Wesper angst going on as well - I’m imaging the way Wylan would fear Jesper ratting him out or turning on him because he lied to him and being so shocked that he doesn’t and just not understanding the way he still cares about him or that he would still protect him because he doesn’t know what it feels like to be loved I’m gonna cry