#writing characters with scoliosis

[malakaie]

had some feelings to write out – for/about @tommyend, no pressure at all to respond

I started watching wrestling – specifically, AEW – in late October 2023. It’s been just over a year since I started watching, and I didn’t expect it to consume as much of my brain-space as it has. When I started watching, I didn’t really know who anyone was. I had heard a few names – Randy Orton, CM Punk, Jade Cargill, Roman Reigns – but had no real concept of the landscape I was entering or what it would mean to get invested.

Truthfully, it was a little overwhelming, and there was more I didn’t understand than I did. In those first few weeks, I received one very helpful piece of advice: don’t try to understand everything. Find a wrestler or two whose vibe you like and stick with them – the rest will click into place eventually, or it won’t, and either way is fine.

And so I did. I think it was around the lead-up to Full Gear 2023 that I started really paying attention. There was something about what House of Black was doing that was different from anything else I was seeing. I could understand just enough to recognise talented athletes when I saw them, but I wasn’t quite plugged in enough to the overall wrestling “ecosystem” that that was enough on its own to get my attention. Now that I understand more of what I’m looking at, it’s easier to understand what I’m meant to be impressed by – it’s easier now to have that moment of, holy shit, how did they do that?

But I didn’t understand yet. I’d been watching wrestling for about a month and was still finding my footing. What I saw, and latched onto, in House of Black was a group of four impressive performers that I could tell were in love with the art of what they were doing. Everything was done with intent – the way they entered the ring, the different but cohesive styles with which each member of the House wrestled, the gear they wore, the ever-evolving paint on Malakai’s face, the evolution and growth of Julia’s character.

It was both the moment that I finally, properly understood that professional wrestling was also theatre—and, I think, the moment that I was magnetised. It felt like a faction that was made for me: a band of storytellers who wanted to take my hand and show me what wrestling could be and was and is, and had the creativity and cohesiveness and physical talent to pull it off.

I could breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn’t lost anymore, desperately trying to catch up to understanding something that everyone around me already seemed to know. I had a guide of some sort, and one that resonated: I’ve been reading since I was 3, writing stories since I was 11, have always been a little “strange,” drawn to creative types and niche hobbies and other people that don’t have many friends. And here was someone who not only felt like me, sounded like me, but was wanted and loved and succeeding. A stranger to me, in the way that performers and public figures always are, but I felt like it was going to be okay. If Malakai could make it—though I didn’t and don’t know him personally, I had no way of knowing if he was ever afraid, or if he doubted himself—then maybe I could, too.

The more I watched and the more I learned, the more true that became. I’ve been depressed and anxious most of my adult life. I have scoliosis that is likely to get worse as I get older, and causes me pain multiple times a week, if not every day. Hearing someone whose work I admired be open about his mental health—especially when sports industries have typically not been kind to people, perhaps especially men, who are vulnerable in that way—and be honest when he’s in pain shook something loose in me that I hadn’t quite realised was stuck and frozen in shame. It’s okay that I’m afraid. It’s okay that I have days where my brain is trying to consume itself. It’s okay that I’m in pain. Did I get out of bed today? Have I been outside? Have I eaten? Have I done something to be kind to myself—or, failing that, kind to someone else? Have I done something creative today?

I started my “gender journey,” for lack of a better phrase, in 2018. There was a lot, a lot, of messing around with pronouns, labels. I didn’t know what I was, only that “just a girl” didn’t feel quite right anymore. And then I felt like I was lying, because, well—I was fine being a girl when I was ten, and thirteen, and sixteen, so why was it suddenly different at 25? Sometimes I still feel like I’m lying. The generation above me often still holds an image of trans people that requires them to have always been miserable, always been “pretending.” A few months ago my mother suggested it was fine if my idea of being feminine had expanded, but she didn’t really believe I was trans, because I’d never been unhappy as a girl child, and besides that I looked like a “clone” of the small handful of other transmasc and nonbinary people she’s met. I must be a pod person. (Newsflash, mom: This is just what queer people look like, a lot of the time. I cut and dyed my hair and got one singular tattoo. How terrible.)

She didn’t ask me how I feel when people call me she, or her—it makes me feel horribly small and unreal, by now—and in fairness to her, I didn’t quite defend myself either. I cringed and shrunk and asked for time to think about it, when what I wanted to say is yes, I know I haven’t had the history you expect to see from me, but this is who I am, and I’m not telling you that I was never a girl. I’m telling you that girl isn’t the place where I stop.

But I was scared, and I felt cornered, and I didn’t say any of that.

What I did have, though, was an artist and a performer and a storyteller who did things with his expression, his clothing, how he presented himself to the world that was like a lightbulb going on. The confidence of a man who told stories with the way that he looked, and who used feminine symbols to do it. He wasn’t any less masculine—but it was an embracing of both that cemented who he was, and I thought: holy shit. I can do that. Our identities are not the same, and I’m not too keen on speculating about the identities of public figures that I don’t know in any event—but it’s reassuring, motivating even, to be able to regularly see someone comfortably expressing his gender (because, yes, cis presentation is gender expression too) in a way that makes sense to him and incorporates the feminine and resonates through his art without doubt or reservation or compromise. This is who we are. Take it or leave it.

I don’t know what’s coming next for any of us. AEW looks like such a different place—in a good way—from when I started watching, and the world is looking pretty scary these days, but I’m still here. The art that got me interested in wrestling in the first place is still here, and I have my theories—unsubstantiated, so far—about where Malakai and House of Black are taking their story, but regardless of theories I’ve been so fortunate to watch them continue to grow and evolve over the past year. There’s a lot I don’t know, but I know the love for the story and the art is real.

I don’t know you personally, Malakai, and I don’t want to claim to, no matter how many scraps I’ve gathered together from interviews and how much of the backlog of matches I’ve done my best to watch so I can understand where you’ve come from and where you’re going next. But your work and your love for your craft has moved me, and I’m glad I stayed alive when it was hard so I could be around to see it when it mattered.

[stayevildarling]

Wilhemina Venable x Reader- Million Reasons

A/N: I‘m back with a little Wilhemina fic. I‘ve been intrigued to write about the character falling for reader and their perspective rather than what I usually write 💜 Title is inspired by the song but I haven‘t incorporated the actual lyrics into this. I proofread this and accidentally deleted the draft, there are some mistakes in this, pls ignore those as I‘m sick and not in the mood to do that again

tw/tags: female reader, mention of scoliosis, mention of unrequited love, some angst/hurt and comfort as always, very much descriptive and not a lot of conversation

word count: 5.5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @stepintomyworld , @ahsatanizgay , @blu3dimples

The woman with red hair, captivating brown eyes had a million reasons to fall in love with you. Wilhemina Venable had a simple life, focused on her work which consisted of long days, getting up before the sun rises and often leaving the office building last. She had given her career to the company, practically building it from the back of a van many years ago. And despite her hating her two bosses with every fibre of her being, she had always taken her job seriously. It was her life and she dedicated all her time on it, investing in an extra room at her home, turning it into an office space in order to work from home on the weekends or in the middle of the nights when she couldn‘t find sleep and the files would pile up on her desk.

The redhead, stern woman had never really had much of a private life, barely a decent hobby other than the occasional knitting or watching something on the history channel. She had always loved books, often getting lost in it‘s pages, sometimes finishing a whole book over night as the content captivated her. Committing to anything other than her job felt impossible for the woman obsessed with control and order. It took her several years of doubting before she allowed herself to finally adopt a kitten, by now her truest and most loyal companion. She didn‘t like opening herself up to people, the past and life having hurt her too much to ever allow her to slip again and put trust in other people.

Thats why Wilhemina, also HR of Kineros Robotics hated the idea of her bosses hiring her an assistant. She had never got along with any of them, to the point where they stopped hiring that position many years ago. She didn‘t like their incompetence, that they didn‘t take this as seriously as her, that they only made her job a lot harder. And despite their idiotic traits, they had wanted to do her a favour, hiring someone to help her as the orders have been piling up and they genuinely wanted to help her out, knowing she had sacrificed a lot for this company. It was a rare moment of clarity as usually they are high and off their heads.

Many weeks ago when you had walked into her office the first time, she hated the idea, her nose scrunching in that all too familiar way when disapproving of something. But somehow, she couldn‘t even apply her usual amount of sarcasm and bitchiness as she saw you standing there, notebook neatly wrapped in your hand, a polite smile on your face and somehow the woman could feel you were different than those other assistants before. She almost too politely showed you to the small desk in the corner of her office, facing the wall as she hated having to share the office and not wanting to lay eyes upon this new assistant.

The first few weeks you had managed to prove her right though, never making a mistake, adressing your question to people below her in order not to bother her. You would fetch her coffee without her asking, doing your research beforehand on how she takes it. You would do your work quietly, tapping away on your computer, staring at the wall rather than the window or the woman on the opposite side of the room. You never complained about anything, always volunteering to go to the printers and without asking bringing her the files she had printed also. You didn‘t fall for the silly, yet disgusting jokes of the bosses, simply remaining silent. You didn‘t get yourself into any drama with the other coworkers, either taking your lunch by your desk when the redhead wasn‘t present in order not to bother her or even outside on a bench.

The redhead had never seen you on your private cellphone, never joining for the drinks with the other coworkers after shifts. You were completely and utterly different to her previous assistants and she secretly admired you for it. It took her a while to realize that you are somewhat like her, closed off about your private life, doing your work perfectly and simply going home at the end of your shift. She never approved her other assistants flirting and chatting with the bosses or the disgusting male coworkers from a few floors below, didn‘t appreciate the hangovers and the assistants calling out sick after seeing them going for drinks with the others. And you were different, almost like her and that was the first reason for Wilhemina.

Month one finished and the first challenge arose as both bosses had approved on a rather large order and customer, agreeing and signing the contracts before making sure the materials are available and the contributers on the same page. It meant endless long nights for Wilhemina and she really didn‘t feel like it that week, her back and condition especially rough in the past week. Her eyebrows furrowed when she watched you type away on your desk, long past your usual workday, everyone already having left for the night.

„Ms Y/LN“ she began, causing you to turn around and face her in an instant. „Yes Ms Venable?“ you asked, your voice as friendly as always. „What are you still doing here? you‘re aware we don‘t pay enough for overhours?“ she retorted, her mood particularly bad from her bosses actions and the physical toll of her condition. „Yes Ms. Venable, I‘m aware of that but I know the importance of this project and the deadlines“ you explained and she simply nodded before letting you carry on, astounded at your politeness and the fact you seemed to want to finish the work regardless of the hours and not caring about the pay either. In the end, by night two the two of you had figured it out completely, finishing everything and making sure the order is ready to go by the next morning. And that was Wilhemina‘s second reason, your selflessness, your sense of responsibility and how despite your younger age you care about this company and inevitably the woman you are working with. You had noticed how she never usually eats past lunch and for evening two you took your break and picked up some to go food, doing your research and picking her favorite place, getting her a salad and smoothie and placing it sublty on her desk, without making any comment. The two of you typed away in silence while eating but the woman couldn‘t fully focus, her mind clouded by you.

After that night, the next morning as you arrived, you found your desk in a different position, facing the window rather than the wall and you knew then that you must have done something right, smiling sublty, while enjoying the new view of your desk.

And so, the usual stoic woman found herself thinking about you outside of work, how you had something so effortless yet unique. She never saw you in the same outfit in a week, almost dressed professional but somehow still comfortable, you managed to make a comfortable sweater or cardigan look utterly professional. She liked your rings and how you would play with them a little whenever you are nervous or concentrating on your work. She loved that you occassionally mutter to yourself ever so quietly when reading something, which would usually drive her crazy and unleash her inner dragon but somehow it made her smile on the inside. She liked the stationary you kept hidden in your desk draw, the notebook with flowers on, the packet of teddy bear highlighters and bunny postits that you would only use when she isn't around, using the office standard whenever she is watching. But she had caught on, liking the little unique details about you and how sublty she noticed them over time.

Wilhemina started to grow curious about you, wishing you would share more about yourself, suddenly finding herself wondering what your favorite music is, whether you like to read, whether you have a pet. And some more months in she would ask herself what your life outside of work may be, having done some research on social media but unable to find much about your private life. She wondered whether you may have someone in your life, what you are interested in. But the redhead never finds herself to ever ask you, engage in any conversations without you that aren‘t about work. Sometimes, she would sit there, her hands ghosting over her keyboard, simply staring at you and wondering what she could say or how she could ever say the words on the tip of her tongue.

And then Wilhemina found herself turning back to writing, something she would very rarely do these days, finding herself lost in poetry, writing about the colour of your eyes, the colour of your hair and what those reminded you of. How she would like to know your favorite flower, wishing she could coat your desk with them, wondering what your hand would feel like and whether it could fit into her own. And before she knew it, the woman realized what this was turning into, the familiar longing in her heart, the sudden nerves when around you and the having to withdraw from staring at you too much during the day. She had felt this longing before, rarely ever so strong though and she knew she had to intervene before this could hurt her too much. She knew she wouldn‘t stand a chance, knowing no one could ever truly be interested in her and even by the slim chance that they are, they could never truly accept and love her when they found out about her physical condition.

Wilhemina had learnt the hard way that people would feel bad, either treat her like a child and doing everything for her or telling her its not that bad and other people suffer with worse and that she needs to keep it together. And neither she ever wanted to go through again, so all her life she had pushed any resemblance of a family, friends or a love interest away. And so as the rainy days came by, she turned quieter, more drawn to herself and losing herself in work, sometimes simply spending nights in her office and working, not wanting to go back to her lonely home and wonder what your company may be like there. She retreated from talking to you unless completely necessary, barely making any eye contact and sometimes her usual sarcasm would even slip out.

Now, over the past six months you had gotten to know your boss, knowing how strict and driven she was, seeing how she spoke to people over the phone that annoyed her, seeing how she would answer to the two bosses and throw the same rude comments right back at them, never taking their inappropriate jokes or sometimes even abuse. You heard the shatter by the coffee machines how she hasn‘t fired you yet, how you managed to tame the dragon, never giving in to those comments and simply brushing them off. But you enjoyed her presence, working beside her even through silence, her presence comforting and somehow keeping you calm during the rush of this job and working for the company. And you noticed her pulling away ever so slightly, assuming she may be struggling with some personal things but somehow you wanted to help her, having seen her cane of course, her posture and the medication vials, despite her doing her best to hide it from you. But of course the others chatted about her scoliosis, the occasional comment about the rain making it worse and whether her next outburst may come but you didn‘t care about what they said, wanting to make her life easier, having grown fond of the woman you are working for over these past few months.

„Ms Venable?“ you asked one rainy afternoon, the rain pattering quietly against the large windows as you stood in front of her after your break. She simply carried on typing before muttering some sort of reply that she was listening. „May I assist you with anything?“ you asked, knowing there was no point in asking her whether you can ask her something, knowing she disapproved of unnecessary etiquettes like that. „Have you checked whether those bills have been handed to finances?“ she asked, never once glancing at you. „Yes Ms Venable, all done“ you explained before she nodded, mumbling about you getting back to work. But you didn‘t back away, remaining there before you cleared your throat. „I was wondering if there is anything I can assist you with“ you clarified, causing her eyes to snap towards you, sensing the slight nervousness in your voice for the first time since working with you.

„Whatever do you mean?“ she asked, adjusting her glasses as they slightly moved down her nose from all the reading. „It‘s just I know how demanding this job is for you and after all I am hired as your assistant so I‘d be happy to fetch you whatever you may need, coffee, lunch or even some personal errands, knowing how much time you spend here“ you explained, your heart practically beating out of your chest by the end of it. And Wilhemina found herself torn, this being yet another reason but she had to fight it, keep her walls where they had always been, snapping some reply towards you, causing you to nod and return to your desk, fighting back the tears, wondering what you may had done wrong for her to change so much within the last few weeks. Yet you soldiered through, resuming your work and brushing it off as her having a rough time, knowing you at least did your best to offer it to her.

The next morning as you returned to work, your desk was gone and someone had informed you of you working in the hallway by a smaller desk, right between Ms Venable‘s office and the two bosses. You sighed, wondering what exactly you had done wrong and sad not to be working as closely with her as before. You never questioned that the desk was different, that yet you found your stationary in a draw neatly placed, never connecting the dots as to whom had placed them there in the first place. And momentarily the woman found peace for a few weeks, her mind not constantly clouded and driven by her emotions and reasons of falling in love with you, being able to focus on her work, going home in the evening and spent the night with her most truest and loyal companion. Weeks passed and she would only occasionally see you, the same coffee always there, the files always there waiting for her from the printer. Often she would communicate with you via email, telling you exactly what she needed and she found it easier to cope with her reality.

She had started seeing her therapist again, cancelling the last few sessions due to her demanding work but she managed to talk about you and despite the reassurance that she deserved this, should give this a shot, she couldn‘t believe it, couldn‘t trust the risks, despite having made major breakthroughs in the past while working on herself and slowly healing from some of live's traumas. Things however took a turn when she needed a document urgently, walking to the printers herself before finding you in the small room next door, your face tear stained as you stared at the coffee machine. She carried on but stopped herself in time, returning before finding you turning to her with a brave smile, acting as if nothing happened. She didn't question it, gathering from the two coffee cups you are holding that this may be her bosses doing and so she observed quietly and from a distance, seeing how many times you would walk away from your desk, constantly having to go into your bosses office either to serve or entertain them.

The redhead felt bad, this ultimately her doing for punishing you away for her own feelings. She watched quietly as you walked away yet again to fetch them something before stepping into their large office "I'm so glad Venny got sick of this one, she's perfect" one of them muttered, causing her blood to boil and her overprotectiveness to kick in, which was rare for the woman obsessed with lilac. Her cane banged on the floor twice as she put them in their place and you stood there frozen as she turned around and faced you. "Follow me" she instructed and you did as you are told before she pointed at your old desk in her office "You'll stay in our office again and we will never speak of this again, understood?" she questioned and you nodded eagerly before thanking her and fetching your belongings again. "Our office" the words kept repeating in her head, wanting to slap herself for ever saying that and judging herself for having gone so soft on you.

„Did they do anything to make you uncomfortable?“ she asked out of the blue a while later and you turned to her before answering „No Ms Venable“ and she left it at that, knowing you trusted her enough by now to voice if anything serious happend. Yet, her overprotectiveness caused her issue to return, the sleepless nights, the reasons overwhelming her. It wasn‘t until fate or rather your idiot bosses took matters into their own hands a few weeks later that things finally took a turn.

You arrived on time as always, which by your standards meant showing up fifteen minutes early as always. You knew Ms. Venable had a meeting scheduled this morning with finances due to a small mishap on their part. She had told you to take care of any incoming phone calls, which you didn‘t mind as you had done it plenty of times. You managed to work at your normal pace, only occasionally some calls with people who needed to speak with your boss directly and so you took notes, neatly leaving them on her desk. Before lunchtime, another call came in, this time your idiot bosses who demanded your attention in their office. You obliged of course, nevertheless not looking forward to whatever they would need from you as they also knew Ms Venable was out of reach and somehow you felt safe around the redhead woman, especially in the presence of those two.

„Ah good to see you“ one of them said before patting one of the chairs beside them. You politely declined, opting to stand before asking what you may assist them with. „You know.. we‘ve been thinking and we both know Venny a while“ they started and you knew they meant Ms Venable by this, only able to imagine what she would do if she heard them adress her like this. „And so it struck us as odd how off she‘s been lately“ he carries on explaining which causes your eyebrows to furrow. „Until we found this“ the other one began laughing hysterically as he held up a note on a lilac piece of paper. You stepped forward, trying to take the note but they wouldn‘t let you.

„I look at you, but words won't come, my heart beats loud, my tongue stays numb. Each smile you give, a fragile thread, I fear the truth is best unsaid“ one of them read while giggling and you took all your bravery, lunging forward and taking the note, wrapping it in your pocket before leaving them to it, giggling and cracking jokes as you leave their office and return to your desk. Now you weren‘t sure if it was really true, considering what pranksters they are but as you open the note again, you instantly recognize the womans handwriting and your heart skips as a beat as you slowly read over the words.

I look at you, but words won't come, my heart beats loud, my tongue stays numb. Each smile you give, a fragile thread, I fear the truth is best unsaid.

What if you see the cracks beneath, the tangled heart, the hidden grief? If all I am should break your gaze, and turn your warmth to colder days?

I wear this mask, too scared to show , the parts of me I hope don't grow. But love like this, it's sharp and real, too wild to hide, too raw to heal.

So here I stay, just out of reach, too scared to fall, too shy to speak. If you saw me as I am inside, would you still love me, or run and hide?

By the end of reaching the poem your eyes were swelling with tears, not for the fact that someone loved you enough to write poetry about you but how she viewed herself. You knew she seemed tough and cold on the outside, trying to protect what‘s hidden inside. You knew she cared about rules and structure only to protect the parts of her that needed those in order to get through her days. You knew she thinks her condition turned her into a monster, someone not worth loving. But you didn’t know she feared turning you cold and bitter and it strucks you then what the woman must have been through in her past to see herself like this, not to speak her truth and to hide her feelings. The sadness overwhelmed you as you tried focusing on your work again, only now understanding why she had sent you away before after you offered her help.

Wilhemina returned moments later, just missing the initial events as she entered the office again. As soon as she did, she could tell something wasn‘t right, you were too focused on your work, barely acknowledging her as she tried to speak to you, your usual warmth and openness replaced by something, she couldn‘t quite name. She brushed it off, assuming it was something personal before following up on the calls and emails she had missed. By the time the afternoon arrived, you still almost remained frozen and she began to worry then. She had asked you again but you still seemed frozen and so she opted to leave you be, walk to the printers herself rather than ordering you to. When she returns, she finds her two bosses lingering by the hallway, some smug smiles plastered on their faces.

„Now Ms Venable, want us to book you both a table tonight?“ one of them muttered with a smug smile on his face. Her eyes rolled as she listened to their rambling again and she simply began to walk away, not in the mood for their pranks and jokes. „Oh come on Venny, don‘t tell us Y/N didn‘t like your little poem“ the other one joked before they began giggling. She stopped in her tracks, her cane banging on the floor once as she realized what they had done. She knew she should have kept that draw locked but again she didn‘t expect those two to go through her personal things. She simply walked away, returning to her desk before calmly opening her bottom drawer, needing to check which poem they had taken and given to you. To her distaste they took the last, possibly most meaningful one. She remained silent as she began typing away on her computer, ignoring your presence as well as her actual work that had piled up on her desk by now.

By the time the evening arrives, everyone having left she still types away, having gone to the printers a few times. By around 10pm, you wrap up for the day, keeping your composure as you approach the woman. „Is there anything I can help you with Ms Venable?“ you ask, trying to keep your nerves at bay feeling horrible for what your bosses had done and how they exposed the vulnerable side of the woman sitting in front of you. „No you can leave“ she acknowledges before she passes you a slim folder. „What is this?“ you ask a little confused as you see some printed job offers from different firms, for similar positions than the one you are already working. „These are job offers from other companies, they pay more and they will certainly value your qualities.“ she begins, not meeting your eyes once as the confusion ripples through you. „I‘m sorry?“ you ask confused, taking a closer look at the contents of the folder.

„I have added a very good reference for you and once you make your decision, I‘ll be happy to assist, I have some connections with most of these companies“ she explains camly, ignoring how this is making you feel nervous by the shacking of your hands and voice. Was she firing you? You remain silent, trying to understand what happened when the poem crosses your mind again. „Are you firing me Ms Venable?“ you ask confused, knowing if she was firing you, she wouldn‘t be handing you a good reference and other, maybe even better job opportunities. She glances at you then, opening her mouth as if to speak but she remains silent as she collects her thoughts. And thats when you see the vulnerability in her eyes, matching the contents of her writing so perfectly and it again made your heart ache, knowing she was only doing this to protect you from herself and her now very obvious feelings for you.

„Ms Venable, if this is about the poem“ you begin but she cuts you off immediately. „They had no business going through my things and you had no business reading it“ she snaps, her walls suddenly back as she tries to fight for her last bit of dignity. „I know Ms Venable and I‘m so sorry but if thats why you want to get rid of me then there is no need“ you reassure. She stares at you almost a bit puzzled before sighing „And what makes you say that?“ her tone a bit snappy and much like the usual Ms Venable. „Because if those two were right and this is about me then I don‘t care Ms Venable, I like working here, I respect this company and I enjoy working with you.. I mean underneath you and… I.. I like you too Ms Venable“ you admit, a desperate attempt not to make her push you away, not in order to keep your job but in order to make her see that you cared about her too, maybe more than you had allowed her to see.

„Please…“ she sighs, rolling her eyes at the patheticness of your statement. „I mean it Ms Venable“ you argue, for the first time in a while meeting her brown eyes and she could see it too then, the honesty, how raw and vulnerable you seem in this moment and that every word seems to come from a place of truth. „I may not agree with all parts of your poem but I don‘t want to lose this job or working beside you“ you repeat and she simply stares at you as she listens to your every word. „I don‘t know you very well outside of work of course but the parts I have seen I have grown very fond of, I like the way you sass everyone and how you aren‘t afraid to deal with people like those two idiots, I like how maticuless and responsible you do this job, how this company would be lost without you. I adore how strict you are and how you care for rules and structure but how you can be soft underneath it, truly kind and caring about others.“ Her nose scrunched at the last statement but you can‘t help but carry on. „I don‘t care about the dark sides or the grief, I don‘t care about your condition or how it may affect you on bad days, I care about your wellbeing Ms Venable and you could never turn me cold or ruin me“ you lay out your feelings before suddenly stopping, realizing you may be oversharing and definitely overstepping.

„I would really like to get to know you better and if that means having to leave this job I will happily do that and if you want me to pretend that none of this ever happened then I will but please don‘t send me away“ you beg with a final statement before reaching for your bag and leaving her be, leaving the office for the night wanting to give her enough space to think this through and also calm down as you poured your entire heart and soul out right in front of her. Neither of you managed to sleep a wink that night, you too scared of the consequences of your confession and Wilhemina trying to fight her walls, knowing she actually had a shot at this but way too stubborn to allow herself to feel those feelings for you.

By the time you get into the office she is already there and you simply greet her before beginning on your work, knowing when the time was right, she would approach you. And it took the entirity of the day, the whole office having left again as you return from the printers and find her looking at you with an expression you are unable to read. „Did you mean what you said last night?“ she asks, her voice more vulnerable, lacking her usual strength and composure. „Every word“ you reassure before she nods and looks away „I know this may be a long shot but may I take you for coffee or dinner at some point?“ you ask, surprised as soon as the words left your mouth at this sudden confidence and apparently the redhead feels the same way as a small smirk appears on her face. „Bold attempt“ she smirks, causing your cheeks to blush slightly. „Is that a yes?“ you ask nervously before she nods, causing your smile to widen.

And so, Wilhemina‘s reasons kept going as she got to know you better, learnt about your love for animals, how enthusiastic you are about charity work, how your favourite colours are yellow and lilac, how you like going on walks and buying flowers and plants to decorate your place in, how you adore books and spent a lot of time at the library or local book stores. How you loved wine and how chatty you would get even after one glass. With each detail about you she found herself falling deeper, loving the way you talk and listening to it for hours on end, how you always included her in a conversation, how you always wanted to find out as much as you can about her. And then a few weeks later there was the time when you met her most loyal companion and that had been her last reason, the way you got so excited, how you crouched to his level, how he immediately warmed up to you, which he wouldn‘t usually do with strangers. She watched in awe as you spoke to him in the most adorable voice ever and as she glanced at you, she knew.

On your next „meeting“ which had been dates all along but the woman was still a little shy and awkward she decided to be brave and as your hands brushed, she took yours in hers and just like she had dreamed it fit perfectly together, almost like the missing puzzle piece. „Y/N?“ she halted and you turned towards her at the sudden seriousness of her voice. „Yes Wilhemina?“ you asked and she looked away before whispering „I think it‘s time you take one of those other jobs now“ she explained and your eyebrows furrowed for a moment before she held onto your hand tighter, closing the gap and using all of her confidence to put whatever she had been feeling into the kiss. You couldn‘t help but smile as you immediately kissed her back, so excited that you wanted to giggle and jump up and down. „I‘ll be sure to quit in the morning“ you smirked before adding „I don‘t know how my boss will feel about that though, she lowkey has a crush on me“ you joke which caused the redhead to chuckle lowly.

And so, ever so slowy and over time, Wilhemina didn‘t simply find many reasons to fall in love for the assistant she never wanted but she also learned to love herself again, to allow herself to be open for love and ignore the demons and voices in her head telling her how unworthy and undeserving she was of those. And you made sure to show her for the rest of your lifetime what the woman meant to you, always holding her hand when days got tough, never treating her like a child or a victim and simply being there for her with whatever she needed as you fell just as hard for the readhead, possibly for a million reasons more.

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Writing Modern Steve Roger's Health Issues: A compendium

AKA How do Steve Rogers' MCU canon illnesses hold up in a modern setting?  

I am writing something that is SO NICHE and so NERDY I feel absolutely, positively deviant about it. Who knew you could have this much fun while eating a burrito and sitting in the sun on your back porch? 

OKAY! This one goes out to all of you writing modern AU's with a modern Steve Rogers. (There are literally dozens of us!). Let's go.

So, I find it somewhat problematic when people write disabled or otherwise medically complicated characters and are wishy-washy about the diagnosis they have. In real life, everyone I know with ongoing medical issues is a fucking expert on their exact shit. A great tumblr reference for disabled characters is Cripple Characters, but I also use reddit threads to read about people’s day to day experiences with different issues in their own words. If nothing else, just decide what your character has and take ten minutes and read through a basic website article about it. 

So let's walk through what modern Steve's medical history and diagnoses might be. If you feel like I missed any details or got things wrong, happy to have comments to that end.

We'll start with the list of “ailments,” going with the MCU canon and combining the images from the museum exhibit and screen shots of Steve’s enlistment forms:

Asthma

Scoliosis

Fallen arches

Partial deafness

Scarlet Fever, Rheumatic Fever

Heart arrhythmia

High blood pressure

Palpitation or pounding in heart

Easy fatigability

Stomach ulcers

Pernicious anemia

Nervous trouble of any sort

Sinusitis

Chronic or frequent colds

Caveat: I am not a doctor, but I am a person who enjoys reading medical journal articles about illnesses I do and don’t have. The human body is a fascinating and terrible place to live. Talk to me about your medical complications - I will always find them interesting. I love small talk about Crohn’s disease and/or extremely graphic details about the time you had surgery because one of your wrist bones was the wrong length. 

Sucks To Your Assmar: Asthma! How has asthma changed? 

Kids who have their asthma well managed at a young age are going to have less scarring and lung damage (this is called airway remodeling). Thus a modern kid will likely have less severe asthma than a kid born in Steve’s time. Further, allergy medicines got way better from the 1990s, so kids with allergy induced asthma would have had fewer attacks. Fewer attacks as kids = less severe asthma as they age. 

I would also note that asthma is highly connected to environmental issues. If Steve grew up in a house with cigarette smoke, cockroaches, rats, or mold present, as is fairly easy to imagine, especially without dehumidifiers in a swampy Brooklyn summer, those are environmental factors that would have made his asthma much worse. 

They are also all factors that kids today certainly face, depending on how you write your modern Steve’s childhood. While people today certainly can have very severe asthma, it’s also entirely possible that modern Steve’s relationship to his asthma is pretty chill and easy to manage. (My partner has relatively severe asthma with a lot of environmental triggers; modern allergy medicine was a big game changer.)

Let’s talk about scoliosis ~~

There are a lot of variations to how scoliosis impacts people. I have very minor scoliosis and it's barely a thing in my life. I’m not trying to speak for everyone, but for what it’s worth, there are professional athletes with spinal fusion. I used Kyra Condie as my justification for writing climbing coach post-spinal fusion small Steve Rogers in one fic. My younger brother and best friend in high school both had spinal fusions. 

In reality the athletic and physical abilities of people with spinal fusion vary pretty much exactly as much as people without spinal fusion, so you have a lot of leeway for how you decide to write a character with scoliosis. I recommend reddit threads to read about people talking about how their bodies felt before and after spinal fusion, or why they decided not to have the surgery, if you want to get a sense of how it might affect your character’s day to day life.

Wait, so how tall is modern small Steve Rogers? 

You can see in this article that gains in height post scoliosis corrective surgery/spinal fusion varies, but the mean was 27 mm (1 inch) and the maximum was 66 mm (2.5 inches). 

The more severe the curve in the spine, the more height gained with surgery. 

We know Steve had scoliosis, we don’t know how severe it was (do we?). But if he was 5’4” without spinal fusion, and with all of his childhood fevers, and possible poor nutrition due to the Great Depression and untreated stomach ulcers, then it’s very reasonable that a modern Steve raised with proper nutrition and his gastrointestinal issues (see below!) properly treated and a spinal fusion could be easily 1-10 inches taller. 

I think it’s great if you want to write modern Small Steve as 5’4” - but I tend to write him as 5’7” or so. 

I think it is entirely likely that a modern Steve Rogers could end up being 6 feet tall given modern medical intervention and a healthy digestive system and adequate nutrition. As an example of how people with more or less the same genetics having different heights due to environmental factors, I know of one family of four brothers that immigrated from Italy in the 40s. Their height was 100% correlated to their age when they moved to the US/started having access to food: the oldest brother was around 5’4” and the youngest around 6 feet. The oldest was also a chain smoker and worked full time from around age 8, so you know, he was a fucking badass 5'4" Italian guy, if that's not clear.

What about fallen arches? 

Fun story, but I have fallen arches/flat feet and had a lot of foot pain as a kid, but I thought it was normal. I wear custom orthotics and/or birkenstocks and do exercises to strengthen my feet muscles and it's fine now as long as I remember to do the things I just mentioned. My dad had to have multiple surgeries on his feet, so I think it helped that they caught it earlier in me. 

Should I write modern non-serum Steve as deaf? 

Maybe! I think it’s lovely when people write characters with hearing issues. There are great blogs that cover ways to do that well (a good link, another one, and another one and I think this one on hearing aids is particularly good if you are trying to bring in subtle day to day routine differences a character that wears hearing aids may have. Another great option is, again, reddit, especially for questions around how sexual intimacy might vary in small ways that can be nice to bring in. (I am working on a fic with a seeing character whose ex is blind and also read a lot of couples first hand experience with sexual intimacy around that dynamic on reddit). 

But how likely is it that modern Steve would be deaf? 

I think that it’s reasonably likely that Steve’s hearing issues were a result of Scarlet Fever, which is a bacterial infection that can result in rheumatic fever, an inflammatory condition that develops in more severe cases of scarlet fever. 

Scarlet fever caused deafness - in fact, both Helen Keller and Thomas Edison had hearing loss due to scarlet fever infections. Further, sustained fevers of over 104 degrees can also cause hearing loss, so there is a reasonable chance that some other fever caused Steve’s hearing issues. 

Today, the kind of hearing loss caused by fevers and infections can usually be surgically repaired or never occur because we have better antibiotics and better medicines to treat fevers. However, I have a friend who has partial hearing loss and lots of other life long nervous system and fatigue issues due to complications from childhood chicken pox in the 80s (this vaccine came around in 1995).

I don’t know if it’s canon or fanfiction, but I often see Steve as having one bad ear. For what it’s worth, hearing loss in one ear is much less common than hearing loss in both ears. 

However, potential causes of hearing loss in one ear are infections that result in a high fever and some kind of head trauma, both of which are easy to imagine would have affected a Steve born in 1918, and while possible in a modern Steve, also easier to avoid. 

Heart Stuff: Heart arrhythmia, High blood pressure, Palpitation of pounding in heart, Easy fatigability

The aforementioned fevers that can cause hearing loss can also cause heart issues. I think it’s reasonably likely that Steve’s heart issues were from his fevers as a young kid, but I often write him with a congenital heart defect, because why not? 

These days, most of the time, such issues are detected at or before birth and fixed when the person is a baby, but there are plenty of heart issues that can require multiple heart surgeries at various points. Regardless, a modern Steve would most likely either have had access to corrective surgery or medication to manage these heart conditions. Which is not to say that he wouldn’t suffer mental and physical trauma from this medical complication. 

There are plenty of professional athletes you can find who have all of the above heart issues. And plenty of people with heart issues who have no interest in being professional athletes, so like, follow your bliss. 

Digestive System Stuff: Easy fatigability, Stomach ulcers, Pernicious anemia

I have easy fatigability under heart stuff too, because lots of shit can make you tired. 

My personal head canon is that Steve Rogers has celiac disease and/or lactose intolerance, it would cause all of the above. Both can also lead to poor growth - in fact falling off growth charts is one of the most common symptoms of celiac disease in children. 

While people have been aware of celiac disease since there were people, gluten wasn’t identified as the clear cause till the 50s. 

I typically write modern Steve with some kind of food allergy, and I think that addresses quite a few of his canon medical complications. 

Because so many causes of this category of symptoms are relatively easily solved with modern medical intervention/avoiding the problem, I would point folks towards Crohn’s disease if you are looking to write a modern character with medical issue that is more likely to be an ongoing source of similar medical complications today.

(Also, kids with Crohn’s are likely to have reduced height. I have a friend who has Crohn's whose 3 siblings are well over 6 feet and he is around 5'8" (so 4-6 inches aka 11+ cm shorter due to his severe childhood illness).)

Nervous trouble of any sort

Kids with medical complications and food allergies are much more likely to have anxiety. I’m so proud of all the kids making it through the day with anxiety. Luff you anxiety kids, I see you working twice as hard to be present as the non-anxious kids. Tough as hell. Give yourself a high five. I’m so damn proud of you.

Sinusitis and Frequent colds

I mean, god bless modern decongestants and allergy meds. Celiac disease and lactose intolerance can both cause sinus issues, so here is another one of Steve's ailments that can be "cured" through that diagnosis.

Other stuff

When you look at the above, you can see a lot of scenarios where modern era Steve, like many children/adults today, had multiple surgeries and serious and scary health complications as a child, but as an adult would appear as a relatively healthy able bodied person, with the possibility of even becoming a top athlete if he was so inclined.  It’s also likely that some issues like chronic fatigue etc, might linger into adulthood as relatively invisible illnesses that nonetheless affect his everyday. 

In some ways his character arc given the advances of modern medicine could mimic his arc due to the serum. 

Being medically complicated as a kid sucks. Even if you have surgeries to treat and/or learn how to live with things like Crohn’s and celiac and reduce flare ups, lingering mental health trauma can have an impact. 

Lastly and most importantly, I have a personal headcanon that young Steve Rogers of any era spent a lot of time sick in bed and staring into a mirror learning how to raise one eyebrow and perform other eyebrow gymnastics so he could more effectively sass his nurses. 

IN CONCLUSION:

I think it's actually reasonable for an author to say, "My modern Steve never had any fevers, and got his severe lactose intolerance diagnosed as a baby, and had good nutrition, had medications/clean environment that prevented his asthma."

So this Steve is 6 feet tall and healthy as long as he doesn't eat dairy and takes his daily zyrtec (cetirizine - it's an allergy med). The only medical issue he has from canon left is scoliosis, flat feet, and an astigmatism.

You can also choose to write a Steve with more complex medical issues, and there are lots of things that can be good and interesting and value about that. I think the main thing is to pick a diagnosis and write it realistically, hopefully this helps some with that!

[ckret2]

actually, i'm curious. now that you have a new version of bill's mom, anything you can tell about the changes to the story in the tbob-supported rewrite? any changes to chapters w bill's backstory? ...what about the hair?

i really love your hc's abt bill's past and how he mirrors other characters. it's interesting how he can mirror to pacifica w new changes

i LOVE the story, it's great. thanks for writing!

~🍪🔥

When I rewrite Bill's nightmare flashback to his mom's death, instead of describing her as a golden line I'll be describing her as a red triangle.

That's it. That's the only change.

The "new changes" don't give him the Pacifica parallels. "His mom was a former beauty queen with an alien knockoff of ehlers-danlos/scoliosis who pushed Bill into the limelight to compensate for the fact that having him pushed her out of the limelight" has been my character concept for her for as long as I've been writing her. I wrote an as-yet-unpublished chapter where Bill talks to Pacifica about being put in child pageants a couple of months before TBOB came out. The alien EDS/scoliosis knockoff is why I designed her as an unusually curly/curvy line in the first place. When we found out her canon shape, I just went "fine! She's a wavy triangle now" and carried on as before.

As a general rule of thumb, for 99% of my backstory, worldbuilding, plot development and character development, unless a detail comes directly from TBOB/TINAWDC in a way that very obviously directly contradicts something I'd already written and published... I probably came up with it loooong before TBOB. Bill's mom is no exception.

(And even when it looks like a detail might directly contradict something I wrote, the thing I wrote might've been a red herring. Specifically: don't take it on faith that a single detail from "Flatworld" was meant to accurately describe Bill's home world.)

[porcelain-dionysus]

Steve’s Endgame Ending fixed

What if at the end of Endgame when Steve is returning the stones, he has to give up something he loves, right? So what if he gives up his super-serum effects (an au tweaked and borrowed from @growingpaynes-art ), and turns back into pre-serum-Steve? A list of reasons why I think this would work:

A) Straight off the bat it’s easy to keep Steve in the MCU with Chris Evans’ contract ending if they replace the actor who plays pre-serum-Steve (obviously with a guy who looks similar to the first movie, but without the CGI). I know people might be confused why he looks different but the MCU’s changed actors before and it’s not the hardest stretch of the imagination. Also thematically it’d be cool to have Steve be literally unrecognisable to the audience.

B) I think a lot of writers for the Avengers are so focused on writing ‘Captain America’; ‘bland, stoic, with no sense of humor’, that they forget about Steve Rogers; the young disabled man who would put his life on the line to fight fascists. This would be a great way to get back to the basics of Steve’s character and show the audience who he truly is.

C) Honestly it would just be nice to show that Steve is just as righteous and brave with his disabilities, something not often shown in media. Even the MCU likes to focus on Steve’s asthma and ignore that he actually was disabled. (which i’ll touch on in a second).

*and now for some more headcannon-y stuff*

A) From screenshots from the movie, and a list at Disneylands Tomorrowland exhibit, the canon list of Steve’s disabilites and health problems are:

Asthma

Anemia

Diabetes

Color-blindness

Arrhythmia

Scoliosis

Chronic colds

High blood pressure

Easy fatigability

Heart trouble

Sinusitis

Fallen arches

Partial deafness

Stomach ulcers

Pernicious Anemia

Astigmatism

Nervous troubles of any sort

History of; scarlet fever, rheumatic fever

(Jesus Christ Steven)

B) It’d be cute to see Steve actually be able live with his disabilities, unlike in the 30’s. I cannot stress how much eugenics there was back then (and still is now, but WAY more casually acceptable back then). Even the actual Captain America storyline reeks of it a bit; experiment on a disabled man to ‘fix’ him and turn him into a soldier. However in the 21st century imagine if he could get the help he actually needs! Obviously a lot of his stuff is chronic, but he could actually live with it instead of just surviving like he would have done. And be able to afford them, unlike back in the Great Depression. Back braces, inhaler, mobility aids etc. It’d be nice to see a disabled person living with themselves as the HAPPY ending, instead of as a tragedy as it’s usually played.

C) The story of him actually seeing worth in his old (new?) body and himself instead of just a vessel for Captain America. A self-acceptance arc. Being able to retire in peace without anyone recognising him as Captain America without having to give up his life in the 21st century.

D) The Smithsonian exhibit is so closely tailored to his propaganda persona that it fails to acknowledge him as a person. I wouldn’t be surprised if the general public has never even seen a photo of him pre-serum, or knew how bad his illnesses were besides ‘just asthmatic and skinny’. He could easily walk around and not be noticed by anyone.

Tldr: Steve’s proper ending in Endgame should have had him return to his skinny form in exchange for the stone, and him being able to retire to finish art school in peace.

[lowkeyren]

Hi there! I hope you're having a great day. I saw someone else do this, though I can't remember who but,

Tag your favorite author(s) and share which fic or line from their writing you love the most.

Feel free to ignore if you don't want to do it! Love you 💗

hol' up lemme cook (sorry for the tag!!)

“do you want to die?” he angrily counters and you click your tongue. “if it isn’t by your hands, no, no i don’t.” moze hated how you made his ears ring with such simple words. to bystanders –outsiders of your relationship– they would be concerned, but to moze, it was a declaration of the highest affection.  “then don’t die now,” he mutters. “your life is mine to take.” “not if i take yours first.”

@vxnuslogy : hate is a strong word.

ily vee please don't die i genuinely cant get enough of ur writing!!!!! therapy can't save me anymore, only vxnuslogy's fics can. (atp ill tattoo your mlist onto my body so ill never forget the url)

“This can’t be how your story ends." Your fist balls up the fabric of your pants in its grip. “Locked away, isolated from the rest of the world - that can’t be what you want. It is too cruel a fate for you.” For you, who loved humanity so deeply.

@milksnake-tea : say you still dare to dream.

+ the entire otosom series. thx for the posture check you saved me from scoliosis cus you never fail to have me sit up on my chair whenever you post. THE sunday writer EVER ong (defo the first author that comes to my mind when sm1 asks for sunday fic recs)

“This is unreasonable,” he starts. “Not for me, it isn’t,” you say softly. “If it’s for you, nothing is unreasonable.” His voice raises, trembling upon its crumbling pedestal, panic seeping into every word. “I don’t deserve that kindness - that mercy. I am a sinner, I am a traitor, I am-” “You are a man worth saving.”

You can’t see the mountains he’d overcome just to end the day resting in your arms. You don’t know the extent he would go just to win your love. It’s a fact that kicks at his knees, shuns him down and bruises his heart. If the Fortress of Meropide has taught him anything, it’s that there is no point holding your feelings back from living fully. There is no point to contain the human heart that has every desire to live with others, he has seen the sorrow of prisoners saying goodbye to loved ones, and how they dwell over words they should have said. Even his own time as a prisoner taught him so, because everytime he sat behind those bars, the faces of people he should have been more open to kept him awake at night.  Wriothesley would rather drown in primordial water than see you, the most important person in his life, hurting over his own negligence. 

@earthtooz : distance.

i think you shld know that i (re)read your fics religiously. 10/10 humor and ur portrayal of characters >> spot on honestly, another author whose fics r must-reads!!!

“don’t look at me like that.” you wished he wouldn’t look at you in that way; something tugs at your heart and suffocates you. “like what?” “i don’t know.” hesitation follows your tone, broken and unsure, seemingly lost in an empty field full of directions. “like…” like you wanted me like a lover, you keep the words at your throat knowing you’ll choke on it one day. you don’t know how to say it, you don’t even know if you can say it. it was as if the ability to speak has been taken away from you.

@azullumi : i wanna be yours.

always gotta lay on my bed when reading your fics cus how else am i supposed to giggle and kick my feet :((( no sitting on a chair isn't enough i need to roll around to satisfy my excitement.

but the comfort and warmth of his touch lingered on your skin—and you’ll remember it all; it will haunt you, follow your shadow everywhere you go, pulling on the hem of your shirt with the desperation of a dying man and you don’t know how to live knowing the way he held you on this night. how are you supposed to deal with the fact that his hands were as soft and warm as summer?

“still with the formalities... surely now you can address me by my name, can you?” jiaoqiu coaxes, like saying it might wash away all the fatigue in the world, because every inch of his being, from the tips of his ears to the veins in his heart and the wisps of his soul, his yearning and pining echoes and resounds in the cavity of his chest that holds only you, you, you. what, jiaoqiu wonders, would it take for him to be the sole beholder of your brilliance? his hands holding yours, gripping faithfully and unfalteringly, your fates bound by knots; crimson in nature, entwined forevermore? his eyes soften because of course they do—for you mold him into a being devoted to commemorating your existence into his flesh, your voice settling in the marrow of his bones.

@iceunhie : art of the fan.

#1 author to read fics of that'll GUARANTEE leave ur mouth agape btw. if you die without reading a fic from mhie WHAT WERE YOU DOING, YOU MISSED OUT BIG TIME BFRRR.

A soft grunt cannot be prevented when he finally, finally feels your touch staggering into a bundle of nerves on his wings. He feels you trace the sensitive flesh and soft feathers with delicacy, following a clumsy pattern down the bone then the ridge of his vertebrae like you’re counting the columns of his spine. His heart is at war with himself, hammering and loud in his ears as he becomes hyper fixated with your touch, he just had to be selfish a bit.

@luvether : his anatomy.

GUYS press 1 if you're addicted to this author's fics. (1)

your godsent works are like daily doses of dopamine. i legit devour ur fics up like who needs drugs when you have luvether!!!!!

Sunday had come so far to know you that he remembers how much you favor staying in a routine, a pattern. Your kisses fall similar to your paradigm, for you had traced your lips down the lines of his spine, sending sparks of electricity through his arteries.

there’s a glint of mischief in your eyes, a wolfish grin tugging on your lips. you dip your head, murmuring something into his ear just as stelle had done to you earlier. what leaves your lips is an apology. but what for? he — — you kiss him. his ears ring. faintly, he can feel several pairs of eyes boring into him, into you, and into what seemed to be a lingering kiss. yet all he can wrap his mind around is the tip of your nose against his skin, your warm breath fanning over his cheek. it is not a kiss. it is not a kiss. “sorry guys,” you declare, twirling back to face the group of researchers. they stare at you, stunned silent. you don’t mind a bit, your smile only brightening. “but he’s taken.”

@synqiri : today is yesterday's tomorrow.

so much to say sighs. but for this fic in particular (that has stuck w me ever since u posted it), the slowburn IS slowburning in a way that's like eating the least favourite food on ur dish and finally savouring ur favourite part for last ykwim??? EXCEPTIONAL WORK.

Boothill beams and it just serves to confuse your internal scale even more. One would think you’re suddenly inorganic with how it feels like you’re short-circuiting. Is this an acute onset of cardiac arrest? Or is it something else you’ve been pushing away for months on end? He nudges you back. “I knew you’d come around! And the first lesson of being a Galaxy Ranger,” he starts, “is to always get your hopes up.” Yeah… it’s definitely something else entirely. Something that, in all likelihood, is going to get you into massive trouble. You understand the risks that come with fraternizing with an outlaw, have weighed them heavily against your heart, and have reached only one verdict: You’ll sleep on it.

@tragedy-of-commons : call to action.

everyday i wake up with a headache because it physically HURTS me to see how underrated you are. ILL DO IT IF I HAVE TO SET UP A SHRINE IN YOUR HONOUR. ily gwennie pls never stop writing.

You would rather that the Xianzhou citizens know him as "The Dozing General" instead of the general that gets scammed a few times too many. How does one even go on about trying to tell their husband that the grimalkin in his arms is actually a lion? "A fitting name indeed," you mutter, raising a hand to caress Jing Yuan's cheek, a simple gesture to make the general direct his attention to you. However, you could still see that his guard was slightly up with you. You only chuckle at that, leaning in to slide your lips over his own, Jing Yuan wasting no time to press back. Another well hidden secret reserved for the walls of the Divine Foresight is the fact your husband is incredibly weak for his own spouse.

@generalsmemories : how do i tell my husband he got scammed into buying a lion.

^ who i go to when i'm deprived and in need of jing yuan content. literally one of my biggest inspos for writing, jy just feels so real in your fics. fr has me licking my plate n begging for more crumbs.

and many many more authors YOU'RE ALL AMAZING!!!! incld my other mooties too —THANK YOU FOR PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON THE KEYBOARD, PRESSING THE KEYS, AND SAVING MY LIFE WHEN YOU PRESS POST NOW.

[writeahurricane]

Lowkey, as an aside, (I’m feeling very social today apparently) I want to read more stories about disabled characters with chronic pain and not have it be something where the character has to ‘push past the pain.’ Because, ya know, that doesn’t work.

I have scoliosis and when I was a teen, I was very much a fiercely independent one. Felt like I had to do everything myself, even coping with my pain. And my scoliosis was severe at this point. Like, if I walked a great enough distance it felt like my back and hip was on fire. I very much wanted to push past the pain; but it was never triumphant. I never ‘felt’ like a winner. I just felt in pain, angry, and tired.

Of course I’d eventually get surgery but the surgery wasn’t a cure all. That agonizing pain was replaced with stiffness that varied in intensity day to day, and occasional soreness in my back and hip. Some times I’ll lay on the couch for nearly the whole day because the stiffness was too distracting. Not to say that I’m not thankful to the surgery, because it was literally life saving. I guess it’s just me pointing out that disability is often a life long struggle, even if you get surgery that makes it better.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen anyone write a fantasy about a character with scoliosis, so I’m choosing to believe that no one’s gotten my condition wrong yet lol. Well, other than the “just push past your pain” ideology.

[hyperesthesias]

Can you actually write something smutty for Viktor? Or just a guide on how to? I really want to write some Viktor smut, but I'm worried I won't do his disability justice as I'm able bodied and a dumbass

Of my twelve years on this webbed site, this has got to be the best ask I have ever received lmao

I would be happy to help, friend. I'll answer this in two parts.

Yes, I am planning on writing Viktor smut for Viktor x Anya. I had a lot happen in the year since I made the post you're referencing, but I've finally been able to get back into fandom stuff. I wanted to lay some backstory with them first though, as I am apparently a PWP kind of person lmao. It's coming soon! (No pun intended).

You've taken the first great step in recognizing that your experience and knowledge may not be congruent with potential portrayal, and therefore asking for advice. I don't mean to sound patronizing at all. I am an author and I have seen many professional authors that don't do this, so you're already ahead of the game! I wouldn't consider that dumbassery in any way, shape, or form.

I'll put the rest under a cut due to the nature of this post.

*Disclaimer to this is, of course, I don't speak for every disabled person, this list isn't extensive, and these are my opinions.

I, personally, operate under the assumption that Viktor has Post Polio Syndrome. Looking at photographs (x, x, x) it's pretty clear the animators used PPS as a framework for Viktor's movements and posture, as well as his mobility and assistive devices. People with PPS often develop need for braces, canes or crutches, and treatment for scoliosis -- all of which Viktor has. You are more than welcome to headcanon something different, as I don't believe the writers or animators have ever confirmed or denied PPS, but based on my own experience and research, I would bet money on it.

That being said -- regardless of PPS, or otherwise -- the first thing to consider when writing smut for any disabled character is fatigue. It may not be the obvious thing, as mobility devices often are the first thing to catch an observer's eye. But there is so much that goes on beneath mobility devices. Fatigue is a big one.

Consider the worst flu you've ever had -- all the time, every day, even in your sleep. It can be maddening, like you can't get any relief -- even if you take pain reliever or use other analgesics. Most people with a severe flu aren't exactly in the mood to be frisky, especially spontaneously. Many physically disabled people rely on preplanning. Having a date night where they can plan for extra pain reliever, or where they can schedule the rest of their day or week to conserve energy for a special night. The psychological energy that people need to conserve alone can take a lot of effort. Being disabled is also mentally exhausting, especially when you have a partner and their needs to consider. Giving a disabled person time to prepare for sex (or other tasks) is essential.

Related to that, is the fact the energy levels aren't always consistent. A disabled person and their lover could be going at it like rabbits for a while and then suddenly the disabled partner may need to stop because their "battery" (their physical energy levels) has run out. They may need a break for a few minutes, or they may just need to end the sexual encounter altogether.

The worst thing you (or your character) could do is take this personally. It has nothing to do with their partner, it's their body that is (frustratingly [on many levels]) not cooperating.

Something to toy with (no pun intended) when writing characters with energy level deficits is vibrators. Twice the work with half the effort. Don't be afraid to write smut with toys and vibrators -- it doesn't even have to be kinky. Toys and vibrators are normal and vanilla, all things considered. The only reason they haven't been normalized is because of patriarchal standards as to what sex is and is supposed to be.

The second thing to consider is physical limitations of positions and potential discomfort. I've seen several fanfic writers describe situations and positions that Viktor simply would never be able to do (e.g. lifting his partner onto a table or desk).

Viktor doesn't have a lot of strength. That's not to say he can't be rough or that all smut has to be vanilla. But realistically, it's absurd to think that he can lift someone else or manhandle them with any force, or thrust at the speed of light (💀). He also doesn't have any balance whatsoever post Act I. During Act I, he's able to hobble somewhat without his cane, as long as he has something to hold onto, as seen in episode three. But in Acts II and III, his balance issues combined with scoliosis would make any positions where he has to stand much more difficult.

Therefore, if you're wanting to write a scene somewhere outside of a bedroom (e.g. the lab, his office, etc.), he'd need something to balance himself. Seated sex is a great concept to play with -- very disability friendly and offers many options for all sorts of scenes. Desk/table sex is also realistic, as long as your character lifts themself onto the desk or table, and he's able to lean on it.

Scenes that take place in the bedroom also have their own limitations. He has zero use of his right leg, which means he'd need more time to get in and out of different positions. Missionary would take a toll on his back, I'd imagine, from being hunched over -- not that he couldn't do it at all, but that was more of a sidenote. Having your character straddle him, while his back was supported, is probably the most comfortable position I can imagine. Or spooning. Or maybe doggy, though I think his back and hips might get tired. But I'm just spit balling at this point. Utilizing objects from the setting is important -- pillows, having your character bent over the back of a couch, etc. This is where creativity comes in -- it's just important to keep in mind where his limitations are located on his body: his back and his leg/hip.

There are also adaptive devices for sex and disabilities.

One final thing I want to say is: don't overcorrect. This is common. It's one thing to keep a character's disability in mind, but it's another to make a disability the entire character. Just because Viktor is disabled doesn't mean he can't have the filthiest, most disgusting, raw, life changing, I-should-visit-a-confessional type of sex. However you headcanon him to be in bed is exactly how he can be. If you see him as a cruel Dom, he absolutely can slap the shit out of whoever has the pleasure of being beneath him, while he makes them beg for his mercy -- with his back and leg supported. If you see him as a bratty sub, he can be that, too -- while he lies there with a back pillow to relieve pressure off his spine. If he's the plainest, blander-than-vanilla type of lover, that's exactly what he is -- while he takes a few extra minutes to move from one position to the next. If he's any combination of those things, more power to you.

The point of writing a scene, is the point you're trying to make. Meaning: a lot of writers worry about conveying ideas and settings perfectly and with detail, while losing sight of the main point of their story. Rarely will you ever have to add paragraphs to a piece of writing in order to convey something, especially if it's not the main point. Often, it only takes one or two sentences. Keep the main point of the scene in mind. If you're writing a fic where Viktor and your character are secretly getting it on in the lab, then the point and the idea of that scene is the forbidden sex they are having. Not necessarily his limitations. You can easily acknowledge Viktor's disability by saying something like: 'Viktor sat on a chair at the far end of the lab, away from the door's line of sight. He leaned his back against the seat, allowing his spine to settle, before he coaxed his lover onto his lap. His lover straddled his legs, reaching to kiss his neck, while his hand trailed up their thighs...' You've successfully conveyed the limitations he has in two sentences, while maintaining the focus of your scene, and without reducing Viktor to a caricature of his disability. Less is more throughout your fic.

As a side note, which is completely my headcanon -- and something I've vaguely alluded to in my Viktor x Anya fics -- is that Viktor also has erectile dysfunction as a result of the PPS. Polio is a neurological virus, meaning is attacks the nerve cells, the main cause of the atrophy in PPS. It isn't common, but it's not uncommon for males with PPS to struggle with ED. As such, in my own personal stories, I have mentioned that Viktor takes medication to help with it. Sildenafil (the generic for Viagra) is a medication that specifically targets nerves.

That's my own person interpretation, though, and has no bearing on what we seen in Arcane lol.

To close this off for now, I want to reassure you that your efforts count and they matter. No one will write any depiction of disability 'perfectly'. Disability is unique to every person, and one person's spinal disability will look different to another's. Even people with the exact same diagnosis and prognosis will differ in how they experience it. You're not a dumbass. You're very intelligent to recognize the need for external resources. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the work you write, and keep asking questions.

If and when you decide to write your Viktor smut piece, I would love to read it. And likewise, if you'd like to read what I write I'd be happy to send it to you! If you're comfortable coming off anon, you can message me privately and we can talk more!

[cowdeath]

Storm hawks headcanons

i wanted to share some miscellaneous personal hc's I have for some characters, these are all unserious and if you have some, id love to hear them!! i really love this show and characters lol

storm hawks

• aerrow

aerrow is transfem, and uses he/she

she is a lesbian

aerrow has naturally wavy hair but she likes to straighten it

he likes pistachio ice cream..idky but he just looks like he would

radarr is aerrows emotional support

wasian (Chinese/french)

• finn

finn is a trans dude and he uses he/they

they're closeted bi but have a pref for girls

finn has adhd

he's either german or norweigan i can't make up my mind lol

finn is a huge fan of industrial music but doesn't really talk about it

• piper

piper is a cis girl (she/her) and she's bi

piper had a crush on starling (not a ship! btw) , I'd like to think her and cyclonis started dating lol

piper is blasian (Haitian/Indian)

she wears mostly blue and orange but her favorite color is violet

she would totally own parrots

• junko

junko is cis (he/him) and unlabeled

he is a huge fan of grilled cheese

junko and finn have listening parties in their quarters (they would be huge Tyler the creator fans imo)

human junko would be afro-latino

he uses a plushie to help him sleep

• stork

stork is bigender and he uses any pronouns

he is omnisexual with a pref for guys

stork is autistic and a pretty picky eater

he likes to play puzzles and read

stork tries to write but they're not the best at it lol

human stork would jamacian/greek

stork has scoliosis

cyclonians

• master cyclonis

cyclonis is nonbinary and uses any pronouns

they are a lesbian (dating piper!!)

cyclonis prefers goth fashion, but listens to emo music

she has AFRID and her primary safe foods are blueberries and plain pasta

cyclonis likes to draw in her free time

• dark ace

ace is a trans man (he/him) and he is *ace* heh

he has naturally curly hair but he kinda messed it up with all the straightening and hairspray he uses

he is turkish

(in a perfect world) ace thinks of cyclonis like a daughter

• snipe

snipe is cis but uses he/it, he is gay

he has a septum piercing, and a few tats on his legs

he is super #metal

snipe has a soft spot for the maine coon cats

he fights with his sister (ravess) mostly over dumb stuff

• ravess

ravess is a trans woman (she/her) and she is bi

ravess uses prosthetics on both legs

as kids ravess and snipe ate slime together

she plays her violin as a coping mechanism when she's frustrated

[captainjamster]

‼️18+ only, even if you lurk/don't interact‼️

Welcome to my masterlist, great to see you! <3

This is a work in progress as I continue to post. If any links are broken or outdated, or you spot something not on my masterlist, please feel free to let me know!

My AO3 can be found here! Most content is on both platforms <3

Masterlist Tags Navigations

-> #jams asks

A tag for all the asks I answer

-> #jams shorts

A tag for the things I write that just aren't long enough for me to consider a fic, may or may not have an AO3 link

-> #jams writings

A tag for all the fics I write, accompanied by an AO3 link

-> #jams tags

A tag for all the games or other posts I'm tagged in!

Masterlist Key Navigation

- Type -

A - Ask

D - Drabble

F - Fic

T - Text post

- Rating -

SFW - Safe for Work

NSFW - Not Safe for Work

-> DC - Dub-con

-> NC - Non-con

-> TW - Darker content like dubcon/noncon, incest/stepcest, abuse, etc that not everyone may like; read the individual tags of each writing

Underrepresented Reader Series - !! tag is #rep!reader writings !!

-> Original Post

The post that started it all!

-> Independence? Simon Says No (F, A, SFW)

Simon takes care of a transmasc!reader with endometriosis

-> Ghost and Kate with aromantic!reader (A, D, SFW)

How aromantic!reader would end up in a friends-with-benefits situation with Ghost or Kate

-> Ducks and Dogs (F, SFW)

A domestic morning with Simon and a vision impaired reader

-> Caught (F, SFW)

An impulse to relapse in your sobriety is halted when John catches you sneaking out.

Coming Soon to the Series...

Filipino reader introducing 141 to their culture

Autistic reader experiencing sensory overload during sex

Autistic reader using a blindfold/ear defenders during sex with Simon

Non-binary, tall reader and submissive Simon

Blind reader and Simon

Reader with scoliosis

Characters

John "Bravo Six" Price

-> Training and Punishment (F, NSFW)

-> Shower Comfort (F, SFW)

-> Reasserting Control - AO3 link (F, NSFW, DC)

Only on AO3 until the next chapter is up, sorry! Extra sorry it's taking me seven years to write it.

-> Caught (F, SFW)

-> Lending a Hand (F, NSFW)

-> Observation Duty (F, NSFW, NC)

-> Falling Apart (And Coming Back Together) (F, SFW)

-> Mouthy Reader biting Price (D, NSFW)

-> Pegging Price (D, NSFW)

-> Dad!Price and his corruption of daughter!reader (D, NSFW, TW)

-> Dad!Price keeping his relationship with daughter!reader a secret (D, NSFW, TW)

-> Dad!Price coming home to daughter!reader without warning (A, NSFW, TW)

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

-> Starry, Starry Night (F, SFW)

-> Bumping into Gaz (D, SFW)

Simon "Ghost" Riley

-> Independence? Simon Says No (F, A, SFW)

-> Convincing Ghost to paint your nails (D, SFW)

-> Ducks and Dogs (F, SFW)

John "Soap" McTavish

-> Johnny + your mandarin (T, SFW)

Kate "Watcher" Laswell

-> Kate with aromantic!reader (D, A, NSFW)

-> A Surprise Exception (F, SFW)

Phillip "Shadow 0-1" Graves

<Soon to come>

Valeria Garza

-> Mommy Knows Best (F, NSFW)

Alejandro "Ale" Vargas

<Soon to come>

Roldolfo "Rudy" Parra

<Soon to come>

Task Force 141

-> 141 as the Four Horsemen (D, SFW)

-> 141 finding out you're ticklish (D, NSFW)

Headers and Dividers by saradika-graphics

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! First I want to say how much I appreciate this blog, and how cool it is that so many different people from the disability community have come together to share your perspectives on this blog!

Onto my question!

There are numerous characters existing in books, comics, tv shows and movies that have disabilities. Many of them are well known and beloved characters. But 99.9% of the time their disabilities are used as plot devices, traumatic backstory’s, and forgotten unless their disability is useful to add drama or make a slapstick joke. As a fan fiction writer who sees myself in many of these characters, I want to fix this poor and ableist representation when I write these characters. My question is, how can I do that? I want to maintain what makes these characters who they are, including their disabilities, while still keeping them true their development. I want to add that I have researched all of these disabilities in depth, and the information I’m seeking now is how to include them with proper representation.

For example Steve Rogers’ (Captain America) entire origin story is rooted in the erasure of his disabilities. He goes from being disabled and mocked and bullied because of that, to a super hero, who is strong, fast, has enhanced hearing and sight. He’s ‘magically’ cured. What we love about his character is that his newly acquired super powers don’t change his morals and beliefs. But his disabilities have still been erased.

For this character (and other characters who magically go from disabled to abled) would you recommend finding a halfway point? For example, Steve Rogers still gets tall and buff and gains super strength and stamina, but he still some of his disabilities like scoliosis, hard of hearing, or diabetes? Or keeping him how he looks before his transformation, but still having him have his super powers?

Another example (marvel again, because marvel uses disability and subsequent disability erasure as one of its main plot devices) is Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier. He is a forequarter amputee who is given a science fiction prosthetic. This prosthetic required invasive surgery and implants (all of which was non consensual). His prosthetic is very strong, stronger than his right arm (even with super soldier serum that already makes him stronger than other humans). This technology doesn’t exist in real life, and this prosthetic (and prosthetics in other media that has amputee characters) is treated like a fix all: like a new arm but even better so then the character who went through dramatic trauma for the plot doesn’t have to be disabled anymore. Here is my conundrum: the winter soldier has a prosthetic left arm that he can fight with is an important part of his character. To not write him as an amputee erases his disability completely, but to write him without his high tech prosthetic also takes away from other important parts of his character. So my question is, when writing this character (and other amputee characters with similar situations) is it best to find a halfway point? Let this character have his advanced super strong and dexterous prosthetic, but have him actually treat it like a prosthetic (for example, he takes it off, doesn’t sleep with it, and knows how to do tasks without it). Or would it be better to make the prosthetic more realistic? As strong as his other arm, he can’t use it like a battering ram, etc. Or would it be more appropriate to find different ways for characters to do what they do without advanced prosthetics?

I would love to hear specific suggestions for these characters but it would be great too if you had some broad suggestions for repairing disability erasure within any existing work of fiction. Thank you so much for all of the hard work you all put into cripplecharacters!!

Hello,

My time has come.

So Steve Rogers is a product of his time. Back when he was created, living with the disabilities he had was far harder. But nowadays we have medications and treatments his creators would've never thought possible- I mean, this was the time when smoking was the treatment for asthma- so consider incorporating those. For some of them, like what's probably rheumatic heart disease from the scarlet fever, a halfway point would probably be best (more on that in a second.) For other things, modern treatments will do just fine. If Howard Stark can create a flying car, he can create iron supplements and blood sugar monitors. Let's see what he has and how he can be accomodated;

Asthma- the serum can strengthen his lungs and lessen the severity, or you can skip that step and instead look at modern treatments for asthma, which include breathing exercises, slowly increasing exercise to improve the body's tolerance, and a lot of medications. Without knowing the type of asthma he has it's hard to know what his asthma attack plan would be, but considering he has no mentioned allergies, it's probably non-allergic persistent. This can be treated with a combination of long-term control medications, which are taken on a set schedule to help prevent asthma attacks, rescue medications that are used as-needed for asthma attacks, and possibly biologics, which are injected medications for people with severe asthma. These medications are a bit similar to immune suppressants, suppressing the body and immune responses that cause asthma attacks. He can also do breathing exercises to strengthen the lungs and slowly build up exercise tolerance. The bigger lungs due to his bigger body should also help.

Diabetes- there's a massive range of insulin pumps, blood sugar monitors, sugar tablets, and whatever else have you that makes life for diabetics. He'd also benefit from a diet plan, which will take in his level of diabetes, what his pancreas can handle, and potential problem areas to create a diet that works for him and helps him avoid hypoglycaemia and hyperglycaemia.

Astigmatism- contacts, or just some form of glasses or goggles. That's assuming his vision is bad enough to need correction at all, because some people with astigmatism can get by without. He's gotten this far without any form of corrective lense and he's not a long-range fighter, so he might not even need them. Still, they would be useful for him to have in his day-to-day life.

Rheumatic fever- this is one of the biggest problems. Rheumatic fever and scarlet fever mess the body up bad, and I'm willing to bet these are what cause his cardiac arrhythmias (irregular heartbeat.) The serum could strengthen his heart. He can also use a vast range of hypotensives (for the high blood pressure,) any number of heart medications, maybe anticoagulants to reduce risk of blood clots, a pacemaker or other implants, maybe surgery to replace damaged heart valves, and regular check-ups on the health of his heart. If all else fails, a heart transplant might be on the table.

Bone deformity- the treatment is going to depend on which bones, the severity of the deformity, and the cause. They didn't specify, so you can find what you think you'd best be able to work with and go from there. Treatments can include surgery, braces, physical therapy, and some medications that can treat the underlying cause.

Scoliosis- probably can just be left alone, maybe a little physical therapy to help him reduce pain. If you've decided he has a severe case, he can get surgery to straighten his spine. (Personally, I would love to see a character with scoliosis who has rib cage deformity.)

Nervous trouble- probably an anxiety disorder, can be treated through a combination of therapy and medication

These writers didn't live in a time where a soldier could have these disabilities, but now we do. There are treatments available for him that can help him, things the writers never could have imagined back in the thirties. He can still be a super soldier with his disabilities.

As for Bucky, take my opinion with a grain of salt because I am not an amputee. But you're right, him losing his arm and Hydra forcing a replacement on him is a huge part of his story and would be incredibly hard to change. The easiest way about it would probably be to keep it the same, he loses his arm and Hydra gives him a new one, but he gets rid of the arm once he's free.

The arm has failsafes in place to protect his handlers and he has no idea what kind of risks it holds, like if it has a tracking device that could lead them right to him. It's a liability and could put him in danger. He also didn't want the arm in the first place and, based on the scratch-mark scars where the metal meets his shoulder, he has tried to remove it before. Plus, if something goes wrong, he can't fix it. That arm is centuries ahead of modern technology, created by Hydra top scientists, it's a titanium alloy, he has no idea how it works or anything about how it was made, the tools required to fix it are probably hundreds, thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars (or tools that only exist because one Hydra guy created them, meaning Bucky can't get them and probably can't recreate them-) look, he has a high school education from a century ago. There's no way he's going to be able to fix or even maintain such an advanced piece of technology. Even if he did somehow know how to do it, he doesn't have the funds to do it. Sooner or later, the arm is going to be a problem. So he would probably get rid of it. Tony Stark would jump at the chance to help him remove it, he would love to get to stick it to Hydra.

Getting rid of the arm can also be a freedom thing. It marks him as the Winter Soldier, it's a symbol of Hydra's control of him. By getting rid of it, he's one step closer to being free of their hold on him. He doesn't need the arm. The movies demonstrated that he's perfectly capable of getting by without it, showing him easily running his little goat farm in Wakanda without his bionic arm or even a realistic prosthetic, just using his remaining arm. (Additionally, did you see the look on his face when they gave him a new one? The exhaustion in his voice as he asked where the coming fight was? He did not want that new arm, he wanted to keep happily existing peacefully on his farm and having the arm meant he couldn't do that. He wouldn't want a new bionic.)

For Bucky, I would recommend letting him ditch the bionic as part of his quest for freedom.

In general, my main recommendation would be accessibility and medicine rather than magic cures. If you have any other specific examples because Marvel very, very rarely did disability representation right, feel free to ask if you need help improving them. It's my passion. You have no idea how excited I was seeing this in the ask box.

Mod Aaron

Hi!

Going from deaf or hard of hearing to having super hearing is a bit tricky. I'd recommend this way of doing both:

The ranges that are affected by his specific hearing loss stay hard to hear (with only very mild improvement if any).

The ranges that aren't affected get amplified, possibly even to a debilitating degree.

For many deaf/hoh people, hearing things, especially if the sound is louder than we expect, is very overwhelming. The solution above somewhat mimics the experience of wearing hearing aids, but since they are his powers they can't be removed the same way. (It would be very interesting to explore that through the lens of paralleling forced oralism...)

Mod Rock

[soradpe]

Make more characters with invisible disabilities

Make more characters with invisible disabilities

Make more characters with invisible disabilities

And I don’t just mean mental health / mental disabilities. There are soooo many physical health conditions that are INCREDIBLY common in society but I almost never see depicted in characters!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge advocate for mental health representation as someone who suffers from a lot of mental disorders as well as neurodivergency. And while I love that mental health and neurodivergency has been on full display in media as well as people’s ocs and head canons of characters, I find that when it comes to physical health, it’s often not depicted in characters unless it’s visible usually, aside from characters who are hearing or visually impaired (which is not always visible on the character) which I also see depicted a lot (Which is good!!)

Granted yes I am typing this up while recovering from a blood sugar crash and yes that’s part of what prompted this. But anyways here’s some invisible physical health conditions (some common and some not so common) that I’d personally love to see people depict more. And of course, I can’t list everything, so feel free to reblog to add on your own suggestions!

- Diabetes (Type 1, 2, 3, and the Pre Versions)

- Anemia

- Gastroparesis

- Arthritis (Though Note, depending on the type this can become visible)

- Epilepsy

- Chronic Fatigue

- Hypersomnia

- Insomnia

- Hormone Imbalance

- Asthma

- POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) (This can also be visible in some cases, such as wheelchair usage)

- Nerve damage (Not all nerve damage prevents usage of limbs!)

- Scoliosis or other Spinal deformities

- Autoimmune disorders (PANS / PANDAS, Hashimoto’s, Crohn’s, Celiac, etc, there’s a lot! Do the research! And keep in mind, many Autoimmune disorders CAN become visible)

- Allergies

(Also as someone who suffers from Pre-Type 1, Anemia, Hypersomnia, Hormone imbalances, Spinal and bone deformities, Gastroparesis, and Nerve damage, I’m happy to describe how to write characters who struggle with those things if anyone so desires!)

[anachronisticmech]

S1 Archival Staff Disability Headcanons

[plain text: s1 archival staff disability head canons]

[i will do more characters soon, but this is just so i dont forget stuff for the fic i am currently working on, which is set during s1!]

-> Jon Sims:

[plain text: arrow Jon sims]

disabilities: autism, ocd, pots, cfs, fibro, hEDS, short sightedness, crohns, dermatillomania, scoliosis, npd

aids: aac device, cane, rollator, compression socks, stim toys, sound-proofing headphones, feeding/ng tube (gets g tube post canon)

extra: runs out of spoons very easily, often has to lay in document storage in the middle of the day to get enough energy to continue on, has very bad brainfog and resorts to writing almost everything he needs to remember on his hands, has a lot of marks from picking at skin and having eds skin, has a comfort moth pendant from martin, a comfort panda plushie from tim, and a comfort ace ring from sasha, fluent in BSL, spins are moths, owls, books, languages, classic literature, and pride and prejudice

-> Martin Blackwood:

[plain text: arrow Martin blackwood]

disabilities: autism, cfs, gad, short sightedness, otosclerosis, lupus, pots, fibro, endo, pots, vitiligo

aids: aac device, stim toys, chewellery, hearing aids, immune system control medication, anti-depressants, compression socks, rollator, electric wheelchair

extra: has very complicated feelings about helping himself because of his mum, fluent in BSl, always keeps spare heatpacks and icepacks and panadol with him incase anyone needs it, spins are bears, koalas, gravity falls, strawberry shortcake, mlp (from g1 to fim) and the care bears, has a comfort tenderheart bear plushie

-> Tim Stoker:

[plain text: arrow Tim stoker]

disabilities: autism, adhd, ocd, psychosis, aom, pots, hEDS, bpd, bipolar disorder, dyslexia

aids: hearing aids, compression socks, chewellery, wheelchair, elbow crutches, port, stim toys, anti-psychotics

extra: often hurts himself by trying to do things that harm his body (sasha and martin cannot count the amount of times he has started vouging, only to then end up in his wheelchair in the breakroom with ice packs on his knees), spins are drag, norse mythology, and splatoon, has a comfort inkling plushie from danny, and a comfort polyam flag ring from sasha, fluent in BSL

-> Sasha James:

[plain text: arrow Sasha james]

disabilities: autism, ocd, cfs, gad, pots, crohns, muscular dystrophy, vEDS

aids: cane, crutches, compression socks, stim toys, chewellery, feeding/peg tube, port

extra: doesnt have flare-ups often, or even really bad symptoms, spins are medical science, armadillos, horror, coraline, and european mythology, fluent in BSL, has a comfort armadillo plushie from tim, often reads statements like theyre horror fiction

[abyster]

"Pocket Doctor" / Simon "Ghost" Riley x GN!Reader / Head-canons

SWF; Fluff ; Mentions of canon violence; Reader is war survivor; Illness; No mentions of Y/N, bad English.

Disclaimer: I got this idea basically from myself cause a few days ago i've found out about my scoliosis lol. That's the reason why you getting some sweet stuff right now ;)

(Maybe i will write some domestic head canons later)

So, lets get started

°When you got into team, they noticed something off about you. Maybe it was your behaviour, maybe exceptional mannerism of yours, or the fact that you were always wearing a respirator. Guys tried to make jokes, to liberate you a bit, which rarely worked. The first time they heard you chuckle was when Ghost said some stupid joke over the coms. Team can not believe it and still think that it was just an radio interference.

°When you met Ghost for the first time the only thought was "He is so big...Damn, is he German?"

° " How can a such a young person have such old eyes?", Price asked you once, laying in med bay. After a short pause and a quick glance he got his answer.

"I read a lot"

°Being field medic means making controversial decisions. The Team questioned your morality a lot of times which blowed their minds when they tried to think like you. And they stoped for their own good. Sometimes, you just need to stop asking questions. It can be for the best.

"A doctor with a gun, ironic, is it not?"

"Shut it , Skull-boy."

°When you cooked something , guys were head over the heels for you. With "It's a one time event, and I won't cook for you ever again." you put the dish on the common table and tried to go out into the sunset. Obviously no one let you to do so, and you got to know others a bit better. "Huh, never thought that something interesting was about them , besides the files"

"This is delicious, where did you learn to cook like that?" Price asked you.

"I've learnt everything by myself. It was hard getting food in warzone, so i tried to make cool stuff basically from shit and sticks." Price fell silent. It's a good thing that due to Ghosts and Soaps drunkenness they will not remember a thing from this talk.

Hours went like the minutes. It was over a 11 pm and while you were able to drag Soap into his room (After he got beaten up in alcohol competition by Ghost) , when you returned into the living room and saw Ghost, big buffed 6,4 guy , laying on the couch like a starfish, the first thought was "Nuhuh, nope, not gonna do this" . Turning your back to him, you went straight to your room. Well, about 5 meters until you decided to cover the poor guy with your big scarf.

In the morning you head a few knocks on your door.

"Come on in, mysterious stranger." You said with your back turned against the visitor. While looking into laptop you waited for his next move.

"Thank for blanket" Ghosts voice was quite recognisable, just as his heavy steps.

"It's a scarf" Silence fell as you were thinking of answer . "You are welcome. Put it on bed, please"

° After that accident Ghost became a bit less colder to you. It appeared in small details. The tone he spoke to you changed a bit, he knew what kind of tea you preferred.

"You sure you are not brit too, Doc?" Mockingly asked Price at your quiet tea session in kitchen.

"Shut it, moustache-man."

If tea is not up to your liking, Ghost will not stop until he will find tea type that you will like. Sweet big boi :)

° Raindrops washed away blood from your face, as you were sitting near stone wall and wincing painfully. You both needed to take a break from all of this. Ghost thought you were out of your mind when you started to read to him poems on another language.

"Huh, that one sounded nice. What's it about?"

"Uhhh, basically about tha fact that humans are not birds, but all have wings. In metaphorical sense obviously. Yeah, i'm going crazy a bit, sorry". Then both fell silent . Being talkative was not one of Ghosts character traits. So you tried again.

"Hey, remember when you said about being a Doc with a gun?"

"What about it?" Answered Ghost, with his soar voice.

"I... I do not like guns . Like, at all. Only in case of self defence."

"You realise that you were creating a bio weapons just like... a year ago?"

"... There is a difference." You coughed blood while Ghost helped you to stand up. "I guess he doesn't like me at all"

° There was a strange connection between you and Simon, no one denied it. A lot of thing happened between you and Ghost since you joined 141 squad. Mainly it was a small intimate things you both enjoyed. The way you fixed his masks "out of boredom", the way he behaved himself around you. For once, you have found a great listener. It is a shame though, that he has fallen asleep during most of your lections on quantum mechanics. After that every morning he went straight into your room to return scarf that you lend to him. Sometimes it felt like you do not need words to communicate. And when you did, it was a story for another day.

°You and Soap were heading towards meeting room when to yours surprise he spoke "You said you did not have a favourites."

"Huh ?I do not". With a tilt of a head you answered.

"Then why do you always laugh over Ghosts jokes? They're stupid as hell"

All of a sudden you stopped in the middle of the hall. So did Soap.

"Oh"

°While on missions, he thought you were just being overdramatic with how exhausted you were. Truth came out when Soap searched for shirt you borrowed from him and found an X-ray image of your spine and Ghost came in. After that there was a big talk about how even they let you into an army.

"Yep, that's one of the reasons i do not like to actively participate in missions... I'm also flat footed by the way :) "

°With that kind of relationship Simon met a lot of your quirks. If you meet him in the corridor and you are going in the same direction , things happen.

Glance was shared between you and the guy in skull mask. You hands were straightened and pointed into his direction. You know, no one was surprised when they saw Ghost giving you piggyback ride to the meeting room. No one dared to say a thing.

°First time when when you hugged Ghost was in quite drunk state. You did not regret anything, though.

Ghost will remember until the end of his life how team stared at you both when you hands embraced Simon and you whispered "Boobs~". Who would Soap be, if he didn't took a picture?

° When you cuddles for the first time it was your initiative, which is not surprising. Ghost did not gave his answer right away, but if you wanted to, he was willing to try. Usually he is big spoon, but when you held his face in your hands he melts. Out of words when you gave pecks on his mask.

"Hey, Ghost, you wear mask because of anonymity or it's a phycological thing?" That question got him in stupor.

"Why are you asking?"

"It's nothing, really", after long stare from Simon you gave up, "I'm just interested in length of your hair. I mean, if you do not show your face than you cut your hair by yourself, and if you not...Sorry, i'm mumbling again"

"Is' alright ...I have short hair."

"Huh, cool. Can i touch it ?"

"Hm...Maybe"

At that evening, at the dead of night, Simon Riley was curled in your embrace, while your fingers played with his hair. Yep, he definitely need a normal haircut.

° When you both got your vacation time, since he had nowhere to go, the guy was quite shocked with the fact that you invited him to your apartment. Like, really-really shocked.

° "Hey, remember the thing i said that "If i truly love a person, i would rather cure anything that's possible in the person that i love, than to buy him flowers?" Simon gave you a nod, drinking tea at your kitchen.

"Well, here is a therapy abonnement just for you..."

[lavendercrumbleshake]

Hello, My name is LavenderCrumble! U can call me Lav or Miss Crumble for short ♡

Some things u should probably know about this blog

*~▪︎☆°♡ This blog is a cutesy, semi-nsfw blog, so some the posts that I write, like or repost will not be safe for work, if u don't like this please block, not report, if u are a minor do not follow me please I will block u.

*~▪︎☆°♡ I am a plus size (kinda working on it as best I can atm) black girl who is 19 years old, & want to make friends & mutuals that are also 18 or older on tumblr, pinterest & on discord, I will link my discord server & other socials here for anybody that wants to join, if anyone has any fun discord servers or other social accounts that are sfw/nsfw u would like to invite me to then my asks are always always open♡

*~▪︎☆°♡ Any pictures that u see on this blog aren't mine and are from Pinterest, Tumblr, or Twitter unless stated otherwise.

*~▪︎☆°♡ Some of my current interests include:

drawing

coloring

anime

anime pop-up places (cafés, merch pop-ups, anime cons, ect) I wanna visit them when I get the opportunity xc

kawaiicore fashion, j-fashion, or just most alt fashion styles in general

makeup

maid cafés

sanrio (but notably kuromi, rilakkuma, korilakuma, hello kitty & my melody)

kawaii cafés

kawaii & sexy costumes/cosplays

cooking (especially asain food recipes)

kawaii bento boxes

cute kitchen appliances, cooking utensils, kawaii bento tools (like the hello kitty rice mold for example) pots, ect (preferably in pastel purple, or of cartoon characters like sanrio mascots)

asian snacks

kawaii food & drink recipes (I wanna recreate kawaii food plates from maid cafés or bento boxes like the ones on my pinterest board, or food from different animes)

super sonico & super pochaco(idk much but I love their mascots their sooo cute! I heard super sonico has an anime n i wanna watch it >v<)

cartoons

anime figurines

gloomy bear

sweet/dessert smelling perfumes & body products

games & gameplay videos(Mostly horror games, story games, visual novel games, RPGs or all of them together)

Tumblr stories/tumblr headcanons/tumblr concepts & prompts (particularly monster fantasy themed stories or relationships, & semi dark headcanons, like some Yan! headcanons for example, monster bf/husband, and Dom bf/husband (idk why I like these but some of them are just fun to read even if i don't resonate with them personally per sey, still trying to figure it out) among others, there really isn't any particular characters that i like for this)

Tbh that's just to name a few, I have a lot more interests than that lol

*~▪︎☆°♡ My favorite colors are usually pastels purple, pink, blue, yellow & green in that order, but I also like most darker colors too, like chocolate brown, black, or dark red, but my least favorite color is and will almost always be orange, idk why I don't like that color much

*~▪︎☆°♡ As is the nature of tumblr, I will also be putting my random thoughts & mentally ill rambling on here too lol, both sfw & nsfw. I love this chaos platform♡

*~▪︎☆°♡NSFW Interests/Kinks

(Plz note that I am a virgin so all of this are just fantasies that I want to try with someone who really cares about me & who I really trust one day)

Giving thighjobs

Giving Assjobs

Giving Pantyjobs

Giving Footjobs (to dicks specifically)

Cockteasing (almost anything that involves giving a guy a huge boner basically)

Humping/Grinding

Handjobs

Blowjobs(I wanna try to give one but I have a bit of a gag reflex rn ;< i need 2 get stuff 4 practice)

Cockwarming(wanna build up to this at some point)

Size difference(both in height & d size, im 4'11 rn due to spine compression from scoliosis but with improved stretching im 5'1)

Praise kink(I like being praised)

Praise & light teasing(it has to be light teasing mixed with Praise specifically, but im still exploring this too)

Worshipping kink( I want a group of paypigs to buy me all that I want & to worship the ground I walk on lol)

Possible Breeding/knotting kink (No Pregnancy or mentions of it) ( I kinda wanna know what it feels like tbh)

Possible dd/lg kink (not sure yet, but I found a lot of stuff that I like under those tags & it's variations)

Possible rope/bontage kink (I'm kinda exploring this one too bcuz I wanna be comfortably tied up & gagged but I have physical disabilities)

Degrading & Praising Simps/Paypigs

Army of cute paypigs

I'd like to be gifted some money, cute clothes,intimates, essentials, toys, & other stuff to take tumblr selfies in & prep for so paypigs & simps can worship & jerk off to them

HARD LIMITS: SCAT, GORE, PISS, INCEST/FAUXPLAY, ABCG KINK, PATRIARCHY KINK, SLAVEPLAY, RAPEPLAY RACEPLAY, HARD SPANKING, VOMIT, KNIFEPLAY, ect

Anything I haven't mentioned here u can just ask & I will update accordingly ♡

*~▪︎☆°♡ Links to my other socials: (if the link to my discord doesn't work then feel free to ask me for a link in the ask box)

DNI ON THIS OR ANY OF MY SOCIALS IF YOU ARE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: homophobic, transphobic, racist, misogynistic, abelist, fatphobic, currently 55+ or Ana Coach; if u are any of these things I will block you. Do not send unsolicited nude photos of any kind without permission (simply just ask i really don't mind♡) or I will call you out, block you & report you.

*~▪︎☆°♡ (*note) This pinned post will probably be edited with more stuff about me, my hobbies, interests, ect, when i get the time, but for now this will be it ♡

[jackle-fundashii]

I don't like writing oc x Canon character sorta stuff mostly because I haven't fully killed the cringe but if i where to do that with my current ?obsession? My oc would call faust "Dr. Scoliosis" at least 6 times a day