#writing about sexuality

[luxyena]

[frankierotwinkdeath]

Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[taichissu]

bitch why are the exams always in june i have so many gays to draw and write

[raviollies]

I know it's been said but the changes to Maria really grate on me because....this doesn't even read as the same character anymore. Maria's design was purposeful, a very clear specific concept of a 'cool sexy girl who wears leopard print and crop tops, and have a belly button piercing and a tattoo' - it combines to a stand out character portrait of not just Maria but of James, because THATS what he finds sexy and was a stark contrast to modest, sickly Mary. The new design literally just looks like a teacher or a manager now, what the hell is that supposed to tell me about either of their sexualities.

And no this isn't a case of 'tHe cEnSorINg' - this is just misunderstanding the themes. Maria wasn't needlessly sexy, objectified for the viewer; her sex appeal was referenced in the story, and was an important part of it, one of the MAJOR themes.

[butch-enjoyer-omo]

Props to the nonsexual omo enjoyers but personally I wanna fuck nasty

[gayedmundo]

eddie being gay is vital for his arc to make sense because the majority of his queercoding hasn't been built on his attraction to men but rather his lack of attraction to women just btw

[tech-obssessed-shark]

Idk if there is anyone out there who needs to hear this but:

If you’re having issues with your gender, sexuality, or just identity in general… it’s ok. It’s okay to discover yourself, it’s okay to change, and it’s ok to be comfortable with who you are now. Everyone goes on their own journey at some point, you should embrace yours. If you ever worry it’s “just a phase”, that is okay. You are allowed to try new things and experiment, you are allowed to realize if what you thought about yourself wasn’t true. You are allowed to grow and you’re allowed to change.

From, An AroAce Agender person who thought they were a Straight Girl, A Gay Transmasc, A Bisexual Genderfaun, An Asexual Biromantic Demiboy, and many more.

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

god bisexuals really cant have anything ever. a bisexual person or character could literally llook at the camera and say IM BISEXUAL and people will make it about another sexuality. like let us have something let us have at least our own posts

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Genuinely I think at least 80% of fandom toxicity would vanish overnight if people stopped seeing shipping as the primary way of engaging with media.

I would also personally have more fun and that is the real issue here.

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[bitchslapblastoids]

In the span of two weeks, I have now encountered so many separate instances both in person and online of people talking about dnp’s body weight…….??????? mostly dan’s, and I don’t want to get into specifics, but the comments have truly run the full gamut, and all I have to say is please stop. no matter what you feel like the tone of what you’re saying is, it isn’t helpful. it isn’t kind. It isn’t productive. It isn’t caring or supportive or celebratory or whatever the fuck. it’s weird and puts bodies in black and white boxes and treats them as though they by default deserve to be under scrutiny and aren’t given leeway to change or evolve without comment and should be held to some singular standard. and yeah it’s especially weird when the comment is explicitly critical, but the “positive” comments about someone’s weight or the comments of comparison don’t land well either. Idk I feel like I’m losing my mind bc I went years not seeing rly any weight talk and all of a sudden it feels like open season?

edit - continued here

[chirpsythismorning]

INTERESTING a storyline that ppl say would be impossible for Mike bc of x y z and yet here is Jack Mcphee in Dawson's Creek living his forced conforming lifestyle, dating a girl and denying his sexuality, having a mental breakdown in his nuclear family front hallway and everything...

[neversetyoufree]

Sometimes I do feel almost overwhelmed with how much I like VnC. It's so magic that there happens to be a series out there filled to the brim with the exact sorts characters, story beats, and themes that I love most, and it happens to be constructed in exactly the way that I find most satisfying to write about and examine and dwell within.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

aro tumblr, academics and otherwise, arise!! i need your help with reading recs!

i'm studying up on aromanticism and amatonormativity (yeah for fiction related purposes, per my M.O.), and i'm on the hunt for nonfiction reading materials. essays or articles (academic or pop), or collections, or whole-ass books--literally anything i can read. i am also accepting links to your favorite tumblr posts on the subject!

i myself am also aro, so i've got the 101 stuff down. what i'm looking for is deeper dive material. i am not opposed to dense theory texts, i just don't know where to start lol. also accepting personal essay style reflections, though--literally the whole range of nonfiction would help!

i am looking SPECIFICALLY for aro, not aro and ace conflated (if you have recs that hit both, please do drop them, just specify that it's both!)

my (tiny) list currently consists of:

- Minimizing Marriage by Elizabeth Brake

- Refusing Compulsive Sexuality by Sherronda Brown (which, yeah, i know is ace, but it's on thin ice because she does mention aro in text too)

feel free to boost even if you have no new contributions! thanks for reading!!