#writing about lgbt+ stuff again

[flowerakatsuka]

some doodles based on the gender thoughts i've been having about kuroba the past few days, mostly on how their appearance changed between middle school and their final year of high school. i also thought it'd be funny if kuroba didn't get recognized by classmates while they were helping at the flower shop back then, ( foreshadowing ig. )

[helluvapoison]

Hey can you write headcanons for alastor, angel dust(both platonic) and sir pentious (romantic) with a gen z/millennial reader? Just general stuff and interactions (like maybe talking about how things are for the lgbt community with angel and talking to alastor about gramophones and how they're coming back in style) and just some shenanigans

I know you don't have these characters listed in your writing list, and it's completely fine if you cant write for them but i love your writing style and characterization so I wanted to know how you'd imagine things would go

Alastor, Angel Dust (platonic) and Sir Pentious (romantic) x Reader

˚✧₊⁎ Alastor ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• “Hey Al! Loving the drip, it’s giving strawberry cow meets dark academia core.”

• Now he knows what others feel like when speaking to Zestial. He doesn’t understand half of what you say

• You taught him “tea”. Originally he thought you were providing real tea, something useful, not tedious gossip about— Oh. Oh. That could come in handy, actually. Alastor begins to pencil you into his afternoon tea. Sometimes you bring him useful information, others he has to sit through petty issues that make his eye twitch

• Alastor outright bans you from using your phone around him. He has no interest in this “meme” that reminds you of him (Don’t bring it out again, next time he’ll break it)

You groan, “It’s not as funny if I have to explain it!”

“It must not be very humorous in the first place.” He retorts

• He thinks you’re complimenting his taste in decor when you call it vintage

• You’ve proven yourself a useful acquaintance. Like Nifty, he’s grown accustomed to your presence and learned it may be better not to understand the inner workings of your mind

• “Got any aces?” someone asks while you play Go Fish with Husk, Angel and Sir Pina Colada. You never fail to jab a thumb in Alastor’s direction, cackling and kicking your feet

• They give you a peculiar look in reply

“Fuck you guys, I ate.”

• Yeah, they don’t get that one either

˚✧₊⁎ Angel Dust ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• It feels like every day Angel’s mid-insult and snapping his fingers at you, beckoning for you to conjure up a fresh comeback

• “Ooh! You just got cancelled, take the L, you fucking poser!”

He cackles, “Yeah! What they said!”

• Started calling himself an e-girl because you said it once about Charlie and never elaborated. He thinks it means cute… He’s not wrong? You don’t correct him, it’s funnier this way

• Playful arguments 24/7

“RIP, Angel, you would have loved Mean Girls— Wait, if a movie dies would it come to Hell? Never mind, don’t answer that, it would obviously go to Heaven.”

“I’ve met some real weirdos down here, sweetheart, and you outrank almost all of ‘em.”

• Something Angel noticed he could only appreciate from you is how different you react to his relationship with Val. He already knows it’s not healthy and he knows he gets defensive when people bring it up. Like the others, you listen, you comfort, you get furious on his behalf. You also offer him insight and labels he never thought would be helpful

• You hold up two fingers like you’re conducting an orchestra as you speak, “Say it with me; boundaries, bitch.”

“Boundaries..? S’at like bondage–?”

”NO!”

• Angel’s the only one that makes HellToks with you. The dances he learns faster and performs them better than you, often adding his own choreography to them. The “pass the phone” challenges never end well– especially when he tries to rope Nifty or Alastor in on them (RIP your old phone)

• Honestly, you’re pretty surprised you get along with Angel as well as you do. Y’know, considering he died a thousand years before you—

“I ain’t that old!”

“Your death certificate says otherwise, fam!”

˚✧₊⁎ Sir Pentious ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• He’s not sure how to handle how touchy you are first. You go around high-fiving everyone, freely holding hands with whoever lets you, offering hugs and– thump. Your head hits his lap, staring straight right at him with a goofy grin. And that.

• “Say slay,”

“Sssslay?”

• Oh. He quite likes the laugh that gets out of you

• Starts saying the word as much as possible, puffing his chest out proudly when you double over laughing. You don’t have the heart to tell him he’s using it wrong 99.9% of the time

• When you began consistently picking him for a chair instead of the others, he was stuck between throwing you across the room and making a break for it or pointing and laughing in the faces of everyone else. You chose him! HA!

• Bless his soul, the way he asked you out was so sweet

“I’ve done extensive research and found the equivalent of going sssteady in your language! I would like for us to move forward with the relationship ssstatus.”

“Huh? Oh. You want to go out with me? Yeah!”

“Fuck yesss!“

• Pentious gives ride or die a new definition. Everything you say or you do, he will back you up. His eyes sparkle from the praise you give him

• That, and making him blush takes little effort on your part. Complimenting him like you always do (at least he thinks you are, sometimes he’s not certain) has his cheeks glowing in seconds

• After following you around for an hour, because Pentious wanted to make sure you could get along with the Egg Boiz without him, they adopt bits of your personality and bizarre phrases. “Now we have two parents!” “No cap!” “Yes cap, you’re wearing a hat!”

• You’ve single handedly make the Egg Boiz worse in the eyes of everyone but Pen. He’s ecstatic over the results, he doesn’t know what he would do if he had to choose between you and his eggs

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ this was so silly and fun, i hope you enjoy anon!

[sanzaibian]

April 7th

Hey journal !

This is going to be hard to write… but I’ve decided to write down my experiences in this little journal I just bought for like, $7 at the local thrift shop, so here I go.

So, I’m Jay Callaghan, a 25 year old student in STAPS, hoping to become a physiotherapist (hope when I read that in 10 years I won’t be embarrassed !), and I’m gay. Like, very gay, nothing in me for girls. But… let’s just say than in sports studies, being gay isn’t well seen. So I keep my hookups on the down low, and avoid talking about that part of myself to anybody else.

And to be honest, it really drives me mad. I’m always double-checking that I’m not too faggy for their eyes, I’m always fidgety when discussions shift towards recent “conquests”, and I feel like I just miss out on so many things. I mean, it has only been, like, a year and a half since I fully accepted that I’m gay ? But still, the impostor syndrome has never faded, and by now, I just want it to stop.

By the way, here’s a photo of what I look like :

Dare I say I look pretty hot ? Well, this just makes things worse, actually. Because then the guys are always like “Yeah, look at Jay, he must be pounding so much pussy” or something… I just want to scream to them that no ! I’m very much very pounded ! And that’s not to say there aren’t people drooling over me ! There are ! But they all hail from the wrong gender !

However, recently I heard about the brand new Conversion Powder by Eamora Co., some kind of drug made by that unknown pharmaceutical company. What’s special about this powder is that it advertises itself as actually being able to change sexuality, so to make someone straight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wholly support LGBT rights and want for any kind of conversion to be willful – so, like, not conversion therapy. Plus, both the instructions manual and the few reviews I found said that the powder must be taken once a day for the effect to persist. So it’s not as if it was an effective conversion therapy. But… I feel like things would be so much easier if I was straight. I wouldn’t be in constant fear, I would feel included with the other guys, and I would just be normal for once.

So yeah. I just want to end this by giving out my opinions on men and women :

Men are so fucking hot, well-built muscles, with big juicy pecs and a great six-pack invites licking, the hose downstairs is the work of god, and I just want to rub myself against it, accept it in my mouth and in my ass. Women… are just women. I guess they do have pec-like stuff, but they’re just so stuffy, and big and all. Plus, they just aren’t interesting in terms of attractiveness ? Not to shit on them, but just not my thing.

Yeah, let’s see how well it ages. I’m taking the Conversion Powder right now.

The evening

Okay, so I think from now on I should write on the evenings, because this way I can recap the events of the day while they’re still fresh in my mind. Plus, when class starts again tomorrow, it’s going to be a pain to write in the mornings.

So let’s start with when I took the powder. As the instructions asked, I put it in a glass and mixed it with water, to drink. At first, nothing happened, but then I started getting a headache, and felt quite dizzy for a while. I don’t know how long, because I didn’t record myself, and I know that my sense of time probably got warped, but it did feel long. And then, it just cleared, like magic.

To be honest, it was very underwhelming. I thought that something would happen to signal if it worked or not, but I decided to still test out if it actually worked. So I opened straight porn, and there the magic occurred.

By instinct, I started by watching the guy, but honestly, he just felt boring at first. I tried to see how hot he was, because I could tell he was attractive indeed, but it just felt… wrong to think of him as attractive. Which was unsettling in its own right. But then came the woman, and let me just say that : she was heavenly. She had tanned skin that ran along her beautiful curves, skimpy black leather pants and bra that espoused her big hips and breasts, and long black hair flowing over her back, waving in such a tasteful manner ! My dick was immediately woken up in quite the surreal moment, and I couldn’t help my self.

I beat myself off furiously at her being railed.

And I don’t even feel bad about that. I even printed out one of her photos to remind myself of her… God, my dick is awake once again by once again seeing her !

After that, I must admit that I spent a lot of time gooning myself on all the stuff I missed out on when I didn’t like women. I even almost forgot to eat lunch !

The afternoon, I decided to go on a walk outside, to see if anything different happened, and honestly… once again, it was quite underwhelming. I really don’t know what I expected, taking this powder for me to be this underwhelmed ! It only advertised that it would turn people straight, and this is what it did ! On a technical sense. Because I may be, in fact, straight at the minute, but I don’t feel straight. I… don’t know how to articulate that, I think I’ll have a better answer to that question when I’ve spent more time on the powder.

So yeah, what I wanted to write is that, when I was walking in the neighborhood, I did have the same experiences as watching the porn : I felt it was weird to conceive of men as a subject of attraction, and I paid more attention to women, but nothing more, really.

Well, nothing much more to say, I guess ! I’ll continue taking it, because it doesn’t seem dangerous, and since I’m closeted it shouldn’t change much.

April 8th

This morning I took again a Conversion Powder, and although I did feel quite dizzy taking it, it was nowhere as much as last time. That does comfort me since if I do decide to stick with this, it won’t be that annoying after a while. I read up on how it works to see if these headaches are normal, but aside from the few internet theoreticians, I haven’t found anything tangible… Nobody really knows anything about it, plus Eamora Co. is basically a completely unknown entity, so I can’t really get to the bottom of this. I guess this here diary may be the current best source for how the Conversion Powder works ?

But the most important thing today was getting back to school. And honestly, there I found that the changes were more substantial. I don’t know if it’s because I have also been on it yesterday, but it felt much easier to get into the skin of the typical straight guy. I didn’t have to worry about seeming too gay, because I technically am not, meaning that the school experience was a lot more peaceful. I also felt more included during the locker room talks. It’s crazy, because when they started to talk about boobs, my dick just hardened ! They mocked me, of course, I felt quite ashamed, but a good kind of ashamed. Like I’m actually having a normal reaction !

God, here I am writing about that kind of stuff… Well, to whoever might read that (me included), I have a duty to present everything of note ! So you’re going to have to bear with the stuff I already know I’ll find cringey in a few months’ time.

So yeah. On that, I’ll go to sleep.

April 9th

Man, I want to cross out the whole section about the powder on the web I wrote yesterday. And also the “I’ll go to sleep”. I’m not talking to anyone !

But yeah, today, the Conversion Powder made the media rounds.

And the rounds it made, in barely a day ! We got LGBT associations speaking out for its immediate discontinuing, far-right think tanks asking for it to be included in all school and high school meals, and politicians scrambling to state their opinion. It kinda feels bad for me to be technically not aligned with the LGBT associations, since I’m taking it, but this was my choice. I’m deciding to become straight, and my current experiences point that it was a good one. I’m feeling more and more connected with my bros (yes ! I can actually call them that, now !), and everyone who I knew before taking the powder say that I’ve recently been in a better mood than usual.

However, I won’t tell others that I’ve been taking it. I was closeted, and I don’t want people to think that I’m self-hating or something… I guess I kinda was, but that’s not the point I was getting at. The point I’m getting at is that I don’t fit the new stereotype of Conversion Powder-takers that is forming, and I don’t want people to think I do.

Also, even if more attention has been shed on Eamora Co. and the powder, there still is no good answer to the questions I wrote down yesterday.

Better news, though : today when taking the Conversion Powder, I almost didn’t feel dizzy at all ! It’s almost as if my body has fully acclimated to the Conversion Powder. If it’s how it works, honestly. However… I feel like I don’t have anything much to say about that ? I know, I know, such an earth-shattering change occurred in me, and two days in I don’t have anything to say about it ? I guess reality do be like that…

April 10th

Yes, I didn’t write much cringey yesterday !

But yeah, nothing much happened today, as do Wednesdays usually do. Though I guess I must mention that on the bus there was a really hot woman, I couldn’t get my eyes out of her. After a while of me basically staring at her though, I noticed that she knew I was looking at her, so I looked elsewhere. I guess, now, I understand the straight male experience, since I indulged in the same kind of creepy behavior… that is something I’ll need to fix.

About Eamora Co., they put out a statement saying that their product is ethical, and does not constitute a danger for the LGBT community. Although I’m technically on their side, let me say I’m calling bullshit on that. Seeing how potent this powder is, it’s easy for bad actors to drug gay and bi people without their consent, and even though they can fight against this kind of drugging, this kind of practice could very well lead into them assuming they were actually straight all along.

Here you go, let me step out of my soapbox.

April 11th

Okay, so, you know, Abby… No, I guess you don’t know, checking back I didn’t talk about her at all in this diary.

So, Abby was (and still is) a good friend in my university. She doesn’t study the same stuff as I do, but we got to know each other in business management class. We hit it off quite well, even though I wouldn’t call her my best friend by any stretch (I had much closer friends back in high school), she went along well with my way of being.

But here comes the catch.

Now that I’m straight, I’ve noticed that she… is actually quite well-endowed. Plus, over the last few days I would even dare say that she’s actually… cute. I mean, look at her and dare not tell me that she’s not cute !

Okay, I do realize that no one is gonna answer me here… but still ! Diary ! Or anything ! Agree with me !

I think this means that I may be having my first straight crush… on who was basically my only true friend in this university… not the best look. But at least it proves that the powder converts both sexual and romantic attraction ! It’s a good observation to include in this diary.

So yeah… gonna see how it evolves…

April 13th

Oops, I forgot to write, yesterday !

So I just hung out more with the bros, it’s been so fun to just… chit-chat with them ! I feel like we have a real connection, like they get me, like I get them. That’s something I could never have had when I was gay, I was forced to just stay out of the loop with everyone. I’m glad I’ve decided to start going on the conversion powder, because now I can finally get to live a normal life ! … not to insult my former comrades, of course.

But with Abby… I must admit I’m not proud of myself, because I basically avoided her for the past few days… I’m getting so flustered when I’m with her, it’s really embarrassing, but now I fear she thinks I’m abandoning her… I’m also being so obvious ! Like, this morning Abby walked in front of me when I was hanging out with my bros, going to some kind of economy class, and I just blushed to hell ! The bros all clocked that I have a crush on her, and I fear she might too ! God, so embarrassing !

Tomorrow, since it’s Sunday, I don’t have class, so the bros asked me to go to the gym with them, and I’m 95% sure they’re gonna cook me alive for having that damn crush…

Help !

April 15th

I forgot to write yesterday again… I was so tired from the very intensive sesh that we had that I just went straight to dine and sleep, so give me a break, diary.

So, as I predicted… Saturday, the guys cooked me, and cooked me hard. They were like “why don’t you talk to her”, “you’ve seen her look”, “do the first move” and all, it was quite overwhelming while we were working out… But they were basically saying that I shouldn’t hesitate to ask her out, as even if it doesn’t work out there’s other girls to find…

God, this is the kind of advice that I would never have had if I was having a gay crush. Nobody would be there to be excited for me, they would all be uninterested to disgusted, and none could give me advice for how to do… because the only people who could would be the very kind I may want to woo !

So yeah. Out of my soapbox, today I talked to Abby… and I couldn’t do it. I chickened out, I didn’t ask her out… Like, I was just about to ! But then somebody let their coat drop, and Abby, kind soul she is, picked it up for them… and after that, my courage just disappeared, and I just brought up the topic of the Conversion Powder and the whole drama.

Yeah. About the Conversion Powder drama.

So, let’s just say that it got heated, and it became the controversy that everyone was talking about. I don’t know what my country will choose as a way forward, but some have already chosen to outlaw it… and the usual suspects have made it official “prescription” to “cure” gayness. I’m against both options, and although I think none will be taken by our government, they currently haven’t chosen a stance… I’ll keep a close eye on it, because I’d hate for my experiment to be cut short just because of them deciding for me…

April 16th

This time, I didn’t miss a day ! Yay !

So… I asked Abby out.

It was as if the stars aligned. Today she dressed in very hot clothes, and we had class together both before and after lunch. So I took the opportunity to ask her to meet with me at the park. But then, at the afternoon, it started raining… I was afraid that our meet-up would have to be canceled, but just before it was time to end the classes, the sky cleared up ! So we went to the park, and my favorite bench in front of the pond was free ! We sat together, and there, I asked her if she wanted to go out with me.

And she said yes !

God, it feels so good ! My first ever date, and not hookup !

I’m just buzzing with excitement, we’re gonna see each other this Saturday afternoon after class ! I’m already envisioning it : first we get together in a cafe, then we go to the park and visit its zoo at the same time ! It’s going to be perfect !

I’m so ready for it !

April 17th

So, I’ve told the bros the good news… and somehow, the conversation drifted on clothes, and we realized that I don’t really have any “date” clothes – or at least, not straight date clothes. They said that it wouldn’t go, and Terry and Joe took me this afternoon to the shops, as they said that, as “pussyhounds” they know what makes girls go apeshit. There, they encouraged me to buy a nice black dress shirt, dark blue jeans and a fancy belt, so now they’ve been added to my wardrobe. They also told me to prepare some cologne, a golden chain and a fancy watch, because they said that it’s the kind of details women always pay attention to, but I already have some of those, so I’m covered.

I guess I’m ready for my date ?

April 20th

Fuck, I forgot again twice to write in this diary. I guess I should only write in it when there’s something interesting happening, because I only seem to remember writing in it when something involving my newfound straightness happens…

So yeah. The date with Abby was magical. Never have I ever been more glad to have made the choice to become straight. When we met up, she was just fabulous. Dressed impeccably, in a way that, yes, made her boobs pop out wonderfully, but it also made her beautiful eyes twinkle, her luscious lips glow and her fluffy hair shine. And the way she walked, so agile, so dainty… Bro, there’s nothing that can capture how beautiful she is ! And she’s also so smart, and such good company ! We talked for hours, made cute poses in front of the animals, and even stayed together for dinner – although we went out to McDonald’s, not enough money nor organization to go to a fancier place.

Perfect ! Absolutely perfect !

This is the kind of experiences normal men have ! And they’re so much richer than anything these gay hookups ever gave me !

Taking the Conversion Powder was the best decision in my life !

May 4th

May the force be with you ! haha

It’s been two whole weeks since I last wrote in this diary, it was time for me to give you an update, diary.

The last two weeks have been hell, because it’s exam season. So between studying, working out and dates with Abby, I haven’t had time for anything ! Bro, even my dates were study dates ! But otherwise… Everything’s going swimmingly ! I’m pulling along with my bros, and my relationship with Abby is going wonderfully !

Really, I know I’m writing the same thing again and again, but ever since I became straight, everything has become better ! Like, I’m better as a straight guy than I would ever have been as a gay guy, I’m sure of that ! It’s… even becoming kinda weird to think of myself as ever being gay, honestly...

God, it’s so refreshing to be normal !

May 6th (the morning)

A bit of a weird update, this morning before my last exam, because… er… we had sex yesterday.

So here’s how it went. Yesterday, we had another study date, but this time at my place. It was boring, of course, but to get out of the boredom we decided to make some raunchy remarks in-between economics and anatomy. And it made us both quite horny… well, at least it made me quite horny, because my dick was just rock hard, ready to squirt by the end of the session… And then we continued the remarks, without interruption… I got closer to her, started touching her, she started touching me, and then the clothes started coming down…

And you kinda know how it goes, but for me it was special. Because I have a ton of sex experience, but none when it comes to shoving my dick in a hole. I did have quite a good time eating her pussy, wayyyyyy tastier tasty than dick mind you, and she did make me come by giving me a blowjob, but then came time to do the deed. I put my condom on, and then honestly… it was a blast. I came just naturally once I had my dick inside her pussy, I just thrusted, and thrusted and thrusted, a ton of times, as if I was plowing her. She was orgasming, I was orgasming, and when we finally came, we just laid there, cuddling, until we both began sleeping.

I’m writing that as she’s taking her shower, just after my Conversion Powder drink, so I won’t be able to write too much, but really… it was the best sex I ever had. Hands down. Really, it feels like straight sex has been designed to happen, unlike anal, blowjobs and all. God, I’m so glad to have taken the powder !

May 8th

Okay okay okay, BIG NEWS !

This afternoon, Abby and I went to a date in the park, and guess what – I mean, a diary isn’t gonna answer me, but yeah. Abby asked if I wanted to be her boyfriend !

It made me just so happy ! Like, finally for the first time ever I have an actual relationship ! I have a girlfriend !

I’ll announce it to everyone ! Well, I kinda already have, but I thought after that that I should write it down here. I’m becoming the model straight guy, and I couldn’t be more up for that !

May 19th

Everything is going for the best, a month and a half in ! (about)

I think I’m gonna stop writing in this book, because I think there’s nothing I can write in it that’s new ! I’m a normal straight guy with a steady relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, Abby, and I hope – and think – that we’re going endgame. Like she’s so beautiful and she goes along with me so well, you can’t understand !

I’m also bulking thanks to all the workout I get with the bros, here, look at that photo :

Oh yeah, I did decide to cut down my hair. It was so long, it was bothersome, and I already have Abby, so I don’t need to look attractive to anybody, just to her. Plus, it made me look faggy, even though I’m straight.

So yeah, you can guess I’m a living example of why the Conversion Powder is a good thing for people who want it ! I’m so happy, and I have found the love of my life ! It almost feels like it was meant for me to be straight !

So… goodbye, I guess ? Or to next time something worth writing about happens ?

June 1st

I thought I wouldn’t ever touch this diary again, but today I saw a ton of pictures on the internet saying happy Pride Month, and… it made me feel empty inside.

I remember last year when I went to local Pride, it made me feel so… not alone ? Like I was part of something bigger, of a community of people who suffer the same kind of things as I do. But when I see all those pictures, I just feel like it’s not talking to me. I don’t feel like I’m part of the LGBT community anymore, because I’m just a normal straight guy, and I guess it’s the first time I somewhat feel some regrets ?

Now, I looked at my local Pride, and apparently this year’s prominent topic is the Conversion Powder, trying to ban it, so even if I wanted to go in as an ally, I would be the embodiment of what they’re avoiding…

I dunno, I’m feeling very conflicted. And it’s not the kind of things I can really talk about with Abby, considering to her I was always a normal straight guy. So I guess I’ll write about it here when I feel like venting.

June 3rd

This whole Pride Month thing is really going to my head, I cannot help but think about it… I look away each time I see rainbows, I avoid LGBT news and I feel awkward each time I see someone being visibly LGBT…

But really, I think I’m being so obsessed by it that I’m triggering old memories of when I was gay, I almost caught myself checking out a guy… If I didn’t know I was on the Conversion Powder, I would have said I was living through a gay awakening…

June 5th

OKAY OKAY CODE RED IT’S CONFIRMED I’M SOMEHOW REGAINING MY ATTRACTION TO MEN !

It’s too much to only be Pride Month behind that. I’m actively being turned on by men… even though I’m taking the powder everyday… each time it happens I switch to a mental image of a woman, but it doesn’t seem to really do anything…. I’m straight, that’s for sure, but why is my body suddenly not wanting to respond correctly ?

Fuck, why am I writing this, it has to be a fluke, I’m sure… I must be quite horny, since Abby has been quite busy with her internship.

I’ll call her up, have some good straight sex like I should, and see if this fluke happens again tomorrow (hint : it won’t).

June 6th

It did.

If I could sigh on paper, I would. Trust me.

The sex was a bit forced, I’ll admit, but today when I went for a morning jog, I saw one of the most drop-dead gorgeous guy I had ever seen… He was quite muscular, but not too much, was tall, handsome, had great hair and a light dusting of body hair where it mattered. Plus, his pecs were quite prominent, it felt as if I could squeeze them and sleep on them, they were so juicy… Fuck, reading back I’m describing that guy like I used to describe guys when I was gay, even though I’m straight…

Tomorrow I’ll up the dose of Conversion Powder, I’ll see what will happen.

June 7th

Do NOT take more than one dose of Conversion Powder at once, learn from my experience.

When I took those two drinks, I had the worst headache I’ve ever had… and then I was hyper-horny for a good 6 to 8 hours, wanting to fuck women, fuck women and fuck women… I’m really happy I had nowhere to go today, since I just gooned myself to straight porn for hours on end, even forgot to eat. It was actual madness.

But then, suddenly, my horniness stopped. I was just… spent, sitting inside a mess of cumstains that were hell to wash out, not really understanding what happened to me.

I’m afraid.

June 9th

The situation did not improve, my attraction to men just kept coming back, to the point I can basically now call myself thoroughly bisexual. But I’m not under any illusion : my attraction to women is very likely going to fade at some point.

And it’s going to make me lose Abby.

I’ve also looked around on the web, and found that I’m not actually the only one to be “reverted”, as people seem to refer to it as. Apparently, it’s due to people being used to the drug : since it cannot actually change attraction, it only overwrites attraction. So it acts like a drug, the more you take it the less effective it becomes…

So yeah, I’m becoming gay whether I want it or not…

June 12th

It’s beginning. The end is beginning.

I feel it, how women are starting to interest me less and less. I’d rather be dealing with dicks than with pussies… I had sex with Abby yesterday, and I just wasn’t into it. It just didn’t feel as exciting, as wonderful as it used to be when I first had sex with her…

Even she noticed it, and asked if everything was alright with me. I lied about being tired because of training, but it will only get me so far… I need to tell her at some point, before it’s too late. But I just don’t have the heart to break hers, it would also break my heart to have to leave her… I really wish I could stay straight…

So much for being “normal”, eh ?

June 14th

This afternoon, we met for our usual Wednesday dates. And I gathered the courage to tell her everything.

I told her how I was gay, how I used the Conversion Powder, how I then had a crush on her, and how I’m slowly becoming gay again. I was so afraid telling her that. Because I absolutely was in the wrong, I kept her in the dark about an important part of myself, and I was afraid of her reaction… heh, it’s kind of my first coming-out, in a way.

However, Abby, blessed be her heart, took it in strides, and the only thing she became angry over was the fact that I decided to take the Conversion Powder… Turns out she’s bisexual, and is really against it, and I guess I became another example for her to latch onto to deem it unacceptable… We had a goodbye kiss, and I told her that I still had a few days of liking women, so we should do whatever last thing together as a couple as we can.

I’ll see what she has in store for me.

June 15th

Okay, today was wild.

Abby basically took a whole day off just for me, and invited me to her place. And I was barely inside her bedroom that she just came in with tons of sex toys. I’m not even sure where she found half of those… And so, we just spent the remainder of the day having sex in many a kinky setup… the last of my straight sex would be kinky sex…

It was great, I hadn’t had so much fun in a long while, especially worrying this much about the end of the Conversion Powder… and I feel that from now on I’ll know her body way too much for someone who will soon become her Gay Best Friend.

So yeah, a great way to close the straight chapter of my life. We’ve decided, with Abby, that tomorrow I’ll get off the Conversion Powder, and that will be our official break up.

June 16th

First day without Conversion Powder, and I’ve been in bed fighting the inevitable headache that such an action accompanies.

Abby was kind enough to come look after me, and it honestly felt really weird to look at her and feel basically not much happening in my dick. Only remained aesthetic attraction.

While she was here, I made her read this diary. It was quite a humbling experience, as she was basically reading through my heart. Her reactions ranged from laughter to concern, including a few realizations about our history together. I mean, I didn’t know she remembered the time I almost confessed to her but was interrupted by someone else !

She also told me that it was weird how I didn’t mention being afraid about the bros, and honestly… I find it also weird now that she mentions it. I dunno, when I decided to take the powder, fitting in with the bros was such a priority for me, yet today, I feel like I have such a good relationship that I wouldn’t trust them to care either way. But I did make a coming out message in our group chat, basically explaining the same stuff as I did with Abby. I’ll see how it goes, but currently Terry eagerly responded with a “I support you!!!!!!1!!!”.

June 18th

My headache was very strong, and I stayed in bed again yesterday, but by now I think it has passed. I didn’t expect the aftereffects of the Conversion Powder to be this severe...

I don’t think I’ll have much to say in this diary in the future, especially as I seem to be going back to the normal me. I mean, normal gay me. But since I’ve had a lot of time to think about this whole situation the past few days, I’ll write about my experiences here.

So, first of all, I’m glad to have made this experience of what straight life looks like. However, I also think that it was a mistake.

Basically, I think that when I did it, I took the easy way out. Pointing to an inalienable part of myself as being the cause of all my woes and then trying to remove it, it just shows a laziness from me. Like I can’t try and imagine what an actual solution looks like, I have to change myself before being able to fix stuff. However, I feel that this experience made me learn that I was actually able to do all the things I felt were lacking. Talking to Abby she made me notice that, aside from being straight, nothing really changed after taking the Conversion Powder, so all the things I blamed myself for making me look faggy just… didn’t. It was only me being afraid, and letting it talk rather than the rational mind. So all the good things I had when I was straight, I can just have them if I get out of the mindset that gay is bad.

So… yeah ! Although it still feels a bit weird to say, I’m gay, and I’m proud ! All my woes weren’t due to me being gay, they were due to me being afraid, so now I decide to not be afraid anymore ! I hope that whoever reads this diary (including me) will understand that they don’t need to take out a part of themselves to find happiness. They need to get over their fears, and only this way will the road to happiness will be opened !

Well said, love from the past ! -T

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

If you sometimes come across the term “banned books” but don’t really know what it means, here’s a simple little introduction to the topic: 

“Banned books” refers to books that have been censored or removed from libraries, schools, or bookstores due to objections from certain groups or individuals.

When we read that definition, I think a really common and understandable response is: „whoa, okay, these must be really bad books full of dangerous ideas!“… and in some way, that’s true. 

Because, you see, to someone with a homophobic worldview, any book with a gay character is really bad and dangerous. And to a child abuser, any book that educates children on consent is really bad and dangerous. 

Among the top reasons for book bans are lgbt+ content, sexual content (including sexual education or education on sexual abuse), themes of racism and themes like drug use or addiction. Over the years, many books with significant cultural and educational value have faced bans - and this continues to be an issue all around the world, including in the US. 

When books are banned, it restricts the access to information people (including kids and teenagers) need to understand themselves and others. This negatively affects queer people and other marginalized groups (for example people of color or disabled people) but it also impacts everyone else. Diversity in literature enriches our understanding of the diversity of real life. It helps to build empathy, compassion, kindness and understanding. Access to different stories and viewpoints is vital for an inclusive society. 

Censoring queer books in particular also normalizes the message that queer experiences are inappropriate or “dirty” - which, again, is really beneficial to homophobes and transphobes. If it feels safe for them to say that queer books harm children, it paves the way for all other kinds of discrimination and harassment of queer people. 

Now you may think “this all makes sense when it comes to books with gay characters! But didn’t you also mention stuff like sexual abuse and addiction and racism up there? These are indeed bad and dangerous things!” 

I think this is another really common thought. These things happen in real life and it can be uncomfortable to even think about them. But that’s precisely why we need books about those “uncomfortable” topics! 

We may not like the idea that a child hears about racism or abuse - but in a world where kids can experience racism and abuse, they also need to be able to read about racism and abuse. They need to be able to say “this is what’s happening to me and this is not okay”. We need to be able to name bad things when they happen to us or when we witness them happening to others. We need an understanding of and a language for bad things. That’s the only way to fight the bad things. 

Another thought you may have is “Okay, and now what? I don’t have the power to do anything about all this anyway”, and honestly I wouldn’t blame you for that one either. Hearing about book bans (on top of all the other negative stuff we hear about) can feel really depressing. But there are things you can do to push back and help keep diverse stories accessible - even if you are young or have limited resources! 

Some ideas: 

use your public library (many public libraries actively resist censorship and make banned books available!) 

use a digital library (services like Libby and Project Gutenberg offer free access to many books) 

look out for online petitions or letter-writing campaigns by organizations that oppose book bans (for example PEN in America) 

look up if there are any “little free libraries” in your area (free book-sharing box operating on the honor system: anyone can take or leave a book for no cost) 

look up if there are any book swapping events in your area 

take part in reading groups, book clubs etc. (either in person or online) 

And of course the big one: if you can afford to buy books - make a point to buy banned books (or more generally, queer books and books from marginalized authors and books on topics that frequently get banned)! As a starting point, you can find lists of banned books online. Wikipedia has one, for example. 

If you have a bigger budget, you could even buy multiple copies and put some in your local “little free library” or bring them to book-swapping events or gift them to friends etc! (You could also ask your local public library (or school library or prison library or youth center or women’s shelter etc) if they take book donations, but you may want to hold off on buying before they say yes - not all of them can accept donations!).

Happy reading and resisting!

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[anim-ttrpgs]

We reached our minimum funding goal for December and can continue operations!

Woo!

Thanks to the support of our fans, we have ended December 2024 above our minimum funding goal with $1,182.94/$950! Thank you so much for your support, and we hope that you will continue to to support us and tell your friends to support us so that we can continue doing what we do for you like creating cool RPGs and giving lots of exposure and sales to other cool RPGs our TTRPG Book Club Discord Server! (and so i can keep up with my expenses)

At the time of writing this (January 1st, 2025), our new minimum funding goal for the month is $1,360.82. If you'd like to make sure we hit it and continue operations, here are some things you can do:

Follow us on tumblr and bluesky

(reblogging/retweeting/whatever our posts on these sites, even if you don't have many followers, makes a huge difference and is actually how we get most of our new fans and patreon subscribers.)

Join our TTRPG Book Club Discord Server and/or invite people there

(this not only makes people more aware of us, it also makes people more aware of all the other indie rpgs that we play and promote here)

Talk about us!

(play our games, tell your friends about them, make posts about your adventures or characters from our games, make homebrew stuff, etc. Like with the social media posts, this is the only way the word gets out about who we are and what we do! Without word-of-mouth, we're dead in the water.)

Subscribe to our Patreon

(you get monthly rewards such as Eureka updates, adventure modules, short stories, etc. Also we will be previewing a new game, Silk&Dagger, on patreon this month.)

Buy, or just download, our games on Itch.io

(money helps a lot, but even just downloading them for free gives us a boost in the algorithm and gets more eyes on us)

Donate on Ko-fi

(how this helps is pretty obvious)

Buy our snoop merchandise

(we only get a small cut of this, but the stuff is pretty cool, and they're good conversation starters)

Thank you again to all our supportive fans!

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Hope Morphin Q&A

About a few months ago, I got a message from a surprising source: @hmrphin/Hope Morphin.

In case you don't know, Hope Morphin is a model and makeup artist who the character of Marc was based on. I also made a post about how their friendship with Astruc had ended thanks to the Rising Sun Flag controversy, which they had actually read one day. We talked a little, and they told me to message them on their Instagram to confirm that this is the real Hope.

They said they'd be down to answer some questions, I came up with a few, and I got their permission to post this on my account. So, without further ado, as Sid the Science Kid once said, let's go get some answers.

Question: When did you and Thomas first get to know each other, and how?

Answer: It was years ago, when the series premiered on TFOU. There were a lot of people complaining on twitter that the characters of the show were in 3D instead of in 2D, and I answered one of Thomas' tweets saying that characters' butts looked better in 3D rather than in 2D (yeah, I had a terrible sense of humor back then, glad I don't do that anymore) and he answered "yeah we could say that lol". Then, it became a running gag between us on the web, and we met for the first time at a french convention called Japan Tours, the 2015 one. So yeah, I think it was when I was... 20/21 years old, something like that.

Question: It's okay. We've all been cringe at some point in their lives. Did you two meet up again after the convention?

Answer: Yup. In fact, after the convention, he sent me a friend request on Facebook. Then, we chatted for a bit and he asked me if I wanted to be a model for him, and I met him for the second time during that model session.

Question: How did Thomas approach you about creating a character in his show based on you?

Answer: So, it was after I modeled for him. It happened after S1 has ended, so when we were chatting, he asked me which one was my favorite character. I answered Nathaniel, because at this time I felt quite close to this one (we love the angsty artist boy lmao). He told me that he didn't understand people liking Nath because he found it was a very empty character aha, but then he told me that they were searching for inspiration to create a boyfriend for him. He told me he wanted the persons to be happy that he got a boyfriend and that they would “stop bothering him with Nathaniel”, and as he wanted to take inspiration on someone looking androgynous he thought I was a good inspiration, so I accepted.

Question: Interesting story. Didn't know Nathaniel was so popular before Season 2. Did you have any input in the creation of Marc in terms of stuff like his design or personality?

Answer: Yeah he rather was, I remember a lot of people wanted to see more of him ehe. Not at all, I even though that he was joking on the moment, then one day he sent me Marc's characters sheet. I had the same haircut back in the day. Also, I was always wearing armor rings and I was wearing those kind of rings when I had this conversation with him, and he told me that Marc was going to have one of those as his miraculous. I was also still writing a lot back in the days, so I guess he still did took some stuff there and there in my personality to create him.

Question: You mean this design?

Answer: Yup! I was wearing only black sooo yeah the red and rainbow wasn't in my wardrobe aha.

Question: Do you know why they made the design rainbow themed?

Answer: Nah, he didn't told me :/ My guess is to make him more LGBT+ themed...

Question: Okay, sorry. Next question: What are your thoughts on Marc as a character? What do you think of his relationship with Nathaniel and his respective villain and hero forms, Reverser and Rooster Bold?

Answer: To be honest, when he first appeared, I really liked him. I thought he had a lot of potential as a character, his villain form was really cool and I really liked the ideas behind him, and I liked the relationship that he got with Nathaniel, from enemies to associates ehe. But after that... meh. There wasn't nothing much on the LGBT+ relationship with Nathaniel (we had to wait until the end of season 5 to see them hold hands... wow), and I didn't really find myself anymore in his character. I liked the design of his hero form and I liked the concept of his power, but like the other heroes that appeared during this episode, we didn't see Rooster Bold that much and I think that doesn't really make him feel appealing. I have the feeling that Marc and many other side characters could be way more develop in very cool subthemes but this is never really done in the series. Instead, now, they are just the characters getting out a whiteboard and giving terrible ideas to Marinette for her to date Adrien =="

Question: Just for fun, do you have any personal headcanons for Marc?

Answer: Well of course ehe, I have ton of those :D

Mmmh... For example, I think he is a dog person, that he's also fond of fashion such as Marinette but that he just don't have the patience to learn how to draw and how to design clothes... Also have the headcanon that him and Nath often meet at one of their places to do some little workshops together to work on their series and on tons of other projects :D

Got also tons of headcanon for future!Marc, such as him being a model for lgbt+ brands and Nath designing his clothes, I would love to see this shy patootie being at the front of the spotlight ehe, full of confidence and all :D There's tons of ideas to have with this character, I remember when I saw lots of artists drawing him with alternate clothes back in the day, such as shishitsunari or hazy (will try to find them back but it's been a while lol). I wish those clothing styles would be canon, with Marc rocking those kind of genderless clothes.

Links to fanart of Marc with different outfits: (https://www.deviantart.com/hazydayclouds/art/72918-756895643) and (https://ladyofacat.tumblr.com/post/176231424098/rises-from-the-underworld-marc-is-perfect-i-want)

Question: This one's a little tough, so if you don't want to answer, that's perfectly fine. What exactly went down before Thomas blocked you? Did you have any conversation online or in real life regarding the use of the Rising Sun Flag in "Ephemeral", or did Thomas just block you with no warning?

Answer: Honestly ? Blocked me without any warning. We were talking less and less, and, since I have affective dependancy, I had the feeling that I said / done something wrong. He was often answering only when I was defending him on social medias during these times. But we didn't have any harsh conversation from what I recall. So, I did the tweet about ephemeral, pointing out the use of the rising sun flag, and, well, maybe he had a plugin on twitter that blocked everyone using the term "flag", and maybe it blocked me automatically. The thing is : he has my number, he has my address (well, my old address now, lol). He had many ways to tell me this was a misunderstanding and that he didn't want to block me. He didn't call me, didn't send me any text after that to talk about it, so he clearly didn't want to make anything to sort out the problem. To this day, he still hasn't send me any message to talk about it. He commented on some of my facebook posts I did last year (I posted some makeups I did for my school) just saying it was cool, so... Yeah, not the type of friend I want to keep. I still have him as a friend on FB if I ever get the guts to try to send him a message to tell him everything that was wrong towards me and towards other people, but I clearly have other things to deal with lately.

Question: So he blocked you and didn't say anything else?

Answer: Yup, exactly, blocked me and didn't say anything else :/ After years of supporting him lmao.

Question: I'm really sorry to hear that. And you still haven't heard from him after all this time?

Answer: Well, apart from some comments he made on my facebook posts (I posted my makeup from my makeup school and he commented "very nice!") nothing at all. But honestly I'm not too bothered by that. I heard new stuff that he did prior and I really don't think it's a good idea that I interact with him again. I keep him in my facebook friends because maybe one day I'll send him a message to try to confront him, telling him that he had a very terrible behavior towards me and other people... But not today, I have other stuff to deal with.

Question: Despite everything that's happened between you and Thomas, do you still keep up with Miraculous Ladybug? If so, what do you think of it?

Answer:

Well, I've kept up with it because I still have lots of friends who are watching it (for example Octolady, Kogenta and Candy...), and they help me keep a little hype.

So I watched the episodes... There are some stuff that I like. There's good LGBT+ representation, and I like seeing an international known cartoon doing that (especially a french one since we have lots of far-right rising lately).

But honestly, I don't have the same hype as before. At the beginning, I was hyped because S1 looked awesome and had lots of cool fights, lots of wholesome characters and all, but the animation problems and differences are really making me bothered. Also, I have the feeling there's a lot of characters who could be more elaborated and who aren't, and... That's kinda sad, because there's a lot of topics that could be explored thanks to them and not just brushed off in one episode.

Plus, to be honest, I didn't really like the ending of S5. And I don't like the idea of it going on for seasons and seasons and seasons, milked until there's nothing more for it. The fewer the better in my mind...

I also seen the movie and didn't really liked it. Too much fanservice and didn't really made sense. The animation was nice, though.

Honestly, I love the writing team, they are wholesome people and they are doing their best for this show, but people like Thomas and Zag are the kind of people I don't want to support anymore. So yeah... To sum it up : still watching it from afar to see if nice stuff is happening, been pleased with some little stuff, displeased with a lot more, but I don't think I'll keep watching it both because I'm not that hyped up anymore and because I don't want to support anymore these 2 people. I supported Thomas too much before, was too attached to him and was a terrible person towards fans who didn't deserved it because I was too blind, so yeah, won't happen anymore.

Still, I'm glad there's still some people who are fans of Marc and who felt helped thanks to this character. I really hope he will have a better representation in the future (clear relationship with Nath, maybe even some trans / non-binary representation ?) in order to inspire young people.

----------------------------------------------------------

I'd like to personally thank Hope for being willing to answer my questions, and I highly reccommend giving their Instagram a follow.

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, im on partially diy hrt for nearly a year. i do not leave in the usa btw.

i buy the drugs from just some guy who deals it, i learned about him from one of my trans male friends, if you want to start diy hrt really consider asking if someone in your community does it also. i live in a country where lgbt+ and transitioning is practically outlawed, but there is still community out there, especially in big cities (over 1m people).

but if he dissapears i turn to resources for cis bodybuilders. idk it's pretty googleable, ive checked. again, always ask people in your country.

check your local laws, where i live buying t illegally isnt punished if the drug is bought from your country (its not contraband) and you do not plan to sell it. in this case if someone IS going to be punished, its your dealer.

for safety: check the ingredients of what's your buying, in the best case you should buy a drug that is the exact same as in drug stores, also ask what other people in your shoes are usually buying.

also if you can - buy in bulk. rn me and my partner have 9 months worth of t on our hands. this way you have more time to find other dealer if yours dissapears, and also it's much cheaper often.

also gel is generally WAY EASIER to buy without a prescription (even though you need it on paper)! many drug stores don't ask for a prescription to buy it, and you can go to multiple of them. also if you preorder it online and only go to the drug store to pick it up they are less likely to ask for the prescription. it's all still not 100%, but at least you don't have to look for a dealer or a bodybuilder website

needles are usually pretty cheap and do not require a prescription in a drug store. if you NEED to make something up why you need them - some of the common pain killers come in the form of injections

so, about the blood tests and stuff like that!

personally, i consult with an endocrinologist approximately onse a year, but i don't have any complications. you can make a visit online with a t friendly endocrinologist from another country - this won't show on any of your medical records and doesn't bare any legal weight. this way they can't write you a prescription, but thos us about diy hrt anyway.

ask about what tests you need to have done beforehand!

you can do all the tests in a private clinic and not tell them anything about your trans status. mostly they don't care. it costs money, but its more safe

but also you can tell some bullshit in the government clinic so they prescribe you some of the tests, at least the most general stuff. if they prescribe you to return with the results or go to an endocrinologist - you can just ignore that and JUST NOT GO. they are most probably very busy and understaffed, they dont care.

you should find a general guide to what levels of what you generally should have. id link what i use, but its all in a language other then english.

generally all of the things should be in the norm, except for testosterone and estradiol. prolactin should be in the norm.

of course it varies a lot and might be different for you if you have other health stuff going on, that's the reason you should consult with a doctor if you can. but it is possible on your own.

i really think people are way too scared of diy t many times. this therapy is often very straightforward, and there ARE ways to do it, you can even consult with a doctor while transitioning illegally. where i live transitioning, whether legal or medical is outlawed, but plenty people do it anyway. be careful and midfull, but go for it

sorry if my english isnt very good, i don't use it irl and its my second language

thank you so much for your help and don't worry, your english is plenty good for this kind of thing! thank you for all the help, if you think of any more information you wish to share feel free to ask!

[sonysakura]

✒ Poll to Decide the Fate of my Ao3

I'll be upfront, I'm unsure why I'm doing this 🤷 Maybe because I gained a couple dozens of new Ao3 subscribers recently and people have been reading my stuff actively, though they aren't commenting... Figured I'll give both new and old readers a chance to save the writing they (possibly) like.

For the past half a year I've been thinking about deleting my Ao3. Isn't news for the members of my server but might be for the others unless they noticed me deleting the last fic I posted (in July). The reason is simple: the situation with Sonic Big Bang 2024 thoroughly broke my confidence and frankly, my sense of self as a writer (esp as a Sonadow fic writer). And I know some would agree with that mod who basically told me she doesn't care about what happened to me because "we're just strangers online", and that what happened shouldn't affect me either... Silly me for whom my writing is my entire life and my only reliable outlet, being so affected by a blow to my core. Ha-ha. Sure, it should be embarrassing how much Sonic Big Bang 2024 wrecked me. But instead, it is scary how much this doodle is still true. I guess it is just unfortunate they decided to ban me the week of the elections in my country and the consequences of the anti-LGBT+ laws hitting us full-force… If there's one thing the event mods and my government agrees on, it's that gay hedgehogs are a threat to society. It's a pity that's what I write.

Normally, I write for myself and I always like what I write when writing for myself (hell, I wrote Married Hedgehogs series to read it before bed). But now... I almost hate everything I wrote and/or posted after March. I cringe about the 2nd chapter of Gloves and Rings and that Sonadow x Lethal Company fic, and I think that Merlina study is seriously lacking – any comments otherwise feel like pity, esp after I mentioned that I feel insecure about people not commenting. I re-read At the Castle Gate (that story I deleted off Ao3 in July) recently, and I disliked it again. Everything I wrote that I still haven't published (20 stories below, either fully completed or missing some final touches) feels fake, foolish and terrible. Everything I write – no matter what – is worthless to me. What's worse, I can't even look at my old stories the same now.

I have now been roughly 6 months on hiatus and 10 months mostly unable to enjoy my writing. It is safe to assume I'm not going to be able to do it for a while longer – if ever. I wanted to delete my Ao3 even. And I felt guilty about hoarding my texts. So, as someone who gets sad when authors disappear or delete their stories... I'm giving you, readers, a chance to decide what you want to see.

*Don't worry about forcing me to post smth I dislike if you pick this option. I wouldn't be offering it as an option if it brought me pain. I'm more apathetic about my Ao3 than anything else nowadays... In short, you want my Sonadow or SatBK or whatever stories no matter what I'm thinking about them myself? Pick option 2. Guilt-free.

Tagging with some fandom tags for people who read my stuff before but don't follow me.

🔗 Same poll on Twitter X

[gojonanami]

sab, since youre a muslim i just have to let you know. Its haram to ship two fictional men. I know FICTIONAL. But youre still supporting the idea of this gaysm or something. Second, since you said gay stuff existed back back then, you should know the story of prophet lut, no? Second. Writing nsfw is haram 😭😭 the amount if likes, reads you have is the amount of sins you get

seriously? there’s a lot of things that are viewed as haram that people still do — how is accepting love between two people regardless of gender a sin? especially when the Qu’ran doesn’t outright forbid same sex prelationships in its text — you really also need to re-examine your priorities that you need want to come onto my page to police me using religion like no — what I believe is between me and Allah. and Allah knows my character. and I fully support the lgbt+ community — in fiction and in real life. and Allah knows the legitimacy of my beliefs.

…you really think I don’t know that? again the amount of things that are haram in this world and you think me writing fiction is the biggest problem? there is a literal g*nocide happening of our people in g a z a and you’re worried about my sins about fiction writing? when you know nothing of my life outside of that? what kind of daughter, sister, friend person I am?

get your priorities together and get off my page with your holier than thou attitude - I have no patience for this.

if anyone else wants to police me with my religion or anything else like this or show any hatred towards any groups, you will be blocked

[fanficsbysteve]

Authors Note: So that "Make Me Write" inspired me so I finished this story after I got home from work last night. I stayed up later than I wanted to so I waited until this morning to post. I've tagged the people below as they were the ones who got me to get this finished. Hopefully you enjoy the full story: @reads8hoursperday @weewookinard I should really make a Tag List for anyone who wants to be tagged when I post anything on here. I put a "Keep Reading" where I stopped with my Make Me Write so you can see all the good stuff that came to my brain afterwards under that cut.

Rating: G

W/C: 2735

***

Tommy sat at the bar, slowly sipping on the drink in front of him. Two fingers of scotch on the rocks. His drink of choice for the night at least. He hated what he had done to Evan. But it had to be done. Tommy was just a phase with Evan. He didn’t see any of the trauma, the scars that Tommy had carefully concealed from the world. A mask he kept up to avoid the pain. A mask that was slowly slipping off.

Sal Deluca walked up and sat on the stool next to him, “What’s up, homo?”

“You do realize that if I were anyone else,” Tommy looked up from his drink to Sal, “That would probably get you punched.”

“Yeah, well I’m me and you are you,” Sal said, “So what’s up? What has you sitting here drinking,” Sal sniffed the drink, “Some very top shelf scotch,” Sal motioned for the same from the bartender.

Tommy felt tears welling up in his eyes. He sniffed a couple times before he stopped the tears from falling. His voice was quiet, “I ended things with Evan.”

Sal took his drink, “Damn,” he took a sip, “You really were into Baby Buckley. What happened?”

                Tommy finished off his drink, “It just all went wrong,” Tommy felt the tears welling up again, “It just went so wrong. He went on this long talk about admiring me. He talked about how brave I was. It was overwhelming. He didn’t see me.”

                “And you just ended it?” Sal looked over at Tommy, “Pretty stupid of you,” Sal laughed a bit. Tommy looked up at Sal while he motioned for another drink. Sal continued, “Did you at least try to understand where he was coming from?”

                “He said all this stuff, then asked me to move in with him,” Tommy said, “He’s new to all this. To being a member of the LGBT community. I’m just the shiny new thing for him. Like everything shiny and new, you eventually get bored of it and find something else that’s shiny and new. I couldn’t handle being tossed away by someone I love,” Tommy didn’t catch his words quickly enough.

                “Someone you love, eh?” Sal raised an eyebrow. Tommy mentally cursed himself to letting that slip. He had been so good at keeping control. But Evan. Evan made him lose control, “And in all your talks about admiration, did you actually tell him that?”

                Tommy shook his head, “I didn’t want to push him away,” Tommy explained, “I didn’t want to be too forward and to be too needy. I was scared if I told him that he would freak out and things would end.”

                “Well things did end but not because he freaked out, I guess,” Sal mentioned, “What I’m getting here, and I could be very wrong because I don’t really get how gay minds work, is that Buckley decided to jump ahead a few steps.”

                “Jump ahead?” Tommy was confused, “What does that even mean?”

                “Well neither one of you mentioned the dreaded L word,” Sal continued, “But Buckley decided that he wanted you to move in. Now I know in my love life, the entire moving in part doesn’t happen until after you have had a lengthy discussion about feelings, mutuality of them, and discuss moving things to another level.”

                Tommy just stared at Sal. Oddly enough what he was saying was making sense. But Tommy couldn’t just fix things after he went nuclear on his relationship with Evan. A sense of realization started to come across Tommy’s face.

                “So, what happened is Buckley moved ahead to the move in with him phase of things, which is a couple steps ahead of where you should have been,” Sal didn’t notice any change in Tommy’s look, “What that should have clued you into is that this boy has feelings for you in return. Feelings he doesn’t fully understand even though if rumours are true, he should know what Love feels like as he’s broken more than a few women’s hearts over the years.”

                “I have to go,” Tommy put some money down on the bar, “Thank you Sal,” Tommy pulled Sal into a hug, “I know this isn’t your forte but thank you for letting me talk and telling me how stupid I am.”

                Tommy got up to leave, “I would like to point out,” Sal replied, “That I did not actually call you stupid. Just pointed out that Buckley jumped the gun a little.”

                Tommy wasn’t paying attention at that point. He was heading out the door as fast as he could get out. He hailed a cab after he got out. He wasn’t stupid enough to drive after he had been drinking. He was a first responder. He had seen what drunk driving can do.

                The cab pulled out and Tommy gave him the address to Evan’s loft. Got he hoped he was still home. He checked his phone to see what time it was and saw a few messages from Eddie. He unlocked his phone and went to the message app.

                ED: What kind of dumbass are you?

                ED: I have a very drunk Buck on my couch.

                ED: I think he’s passed out and I think he’s crying in his sleep.

                ED: I seriously want to know. What kind of dumbass are you?

                Tommy asked the driver to change where they were heading and gave him Eddie’s address instead. While they were driving, he frantically started to message Eddie.

                TK: I’m the worst kind of dumbass.

                TK: I just freaked out. He started talking about admiring me, and how I was transformative for him. And then he asked me to move in and it was all too much and brought back some trauma that happened years ago.

                TK: I’m just a dumbass, ok. I’m on my way to your place right now. Don’t let Evan leave.

                ED: Considering how drunk he is I hadn’t planned on it.

                ED: So, he asked you to move in and it freaked you out?

                TK: You have no idea the things I’ve been suppressing throughout the years. I’ve crafted a very intricate mask that I don’t let down. Nobody has seen the real Tommy in years because I hide him so well.

                ED: Jesus dude. And you couldn’t just talk to Buck about all this? You had to rip his heart out and stomp on it?

                TK: I wasn’t thinking ok. I was stupid and in love and I didn’t want to get hurt when he inevitably found someone new.

                ED: This idiot is in love with you, you idiot. You were practically made for each other.

                Tommy was shocked at that last message. I mean Sal had clued him into that with his “Baby Buckley jumped a few steps” speech but this was just more confirmation of that.

                TK: He never told me that.

                ED: Well, you did break up with him. I’m quite sure he meant to say that but you sorta left.

                TK: I get that I was in the straight world for less than a blip so I’m not 100% certain how you would do it, but I’m pretty sure that a person should say ‘I love you’ before they ask you to move from your house with a backyard and a garage and a car lift into their tiny loft.

                ED: We all know Buck is an idiot. You are the one who decided to date him and give him a second chance after all that Ally talk. You should have just assumed he was being an idiot again and just went with it. I highly doubt he would have expected you to move into his Loft.

                TK: I’m almost at your place. I’ll discuss the intricacies of the gay world with you one day. Today however is not that day.

                Tommy’s cab pulled up in front of Eddie’s house. Tommy paid the driver, thanked him, and got out, almost running towards the door. Eddie was already waiting at the door for Tommy as he came barreling through, “He’s in the living room,” Eddie called as he ran past.

                Tommy got to the living room and there was Evan curled up on the couch. He looked so small and fragile. Tommy could hear some sniffling coming from the couch. He felt his heart ripping apart again. He gently walked toward the end where Evan’s head was laying. Gently lifting up Evan’s head and slipping onto the couch, Tommy put his head onto his lap, gently stroking his hair. Evan sniffled and curled up deeper into Tommy’s lap, “Tommy,” he said quietly.

                “I’m here,” Tommy replied, “I’m not going anywhere.”

                Evan sighed, and then jolted up, “TOMMY!” he yelled almost falling off the couch.

                Tommy was jolted as well. Evan sat up right and stared at Tommy, “Hey,” Tommy said.

                Evan looked at Tommy, eyes puffy from the tears that Tommy caused, “What are you doing here?” Evan asked, his voice hoarse, he was very drunk. The beer bottles littering the table didn’t shake that assumption. Eddie was standing in the entrance to the living area. He was staying away from all of this. Tommy couldn’t blame him.

                “Well after what happened between us,” Tommy went on, “I went to a bar and had a couple drinks. I called Sal cause I needed to talk,” Tommy noticed the slight confusion on Evan’s face, “Sal and I used to be in the 118. He got transferred to the 122 by Bobby years ago. Anyways, I sat and talked with Sal, and he gave me a moment of clarity. Eddie helped it along. And I realized that I was stupid.”

                “You won’t hear me argue,” Evan said.

                “Evan,” Tommy choked, his own tears starting to slide down his face, “You are the missing part of my soul. I didn’t realize it fully until I had lost you. I felt complete, and then when I left earlier, I felt a part of me stay with you. And I know you don’t want to hear this from me after what I said to you,” Tommy took a breath, “And I don’t blame you if you don’t forgive me. But I love you more than life itself,” Tommy exhaled a deep breath that he felt he had been holding all evening, “I didn’t think I could love again after all that had happened to me in the past, and I didn’t want to. But it found me and it scared me.”

                Evan was abashed with what he was being told but he kept quiet and let Tommy continue, “That day when you were hosting your funeral for Billy Boils, that was the day I knew,” Tommy felt tears welling up in his eyes, “I knew that you were the one. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And I started to realize that I was I love with you,” Tommy’s tears started to fall again, “Something about earlier. You just unexpectedly started talking about admiring me, and how I was transformative like your relationship with Abby, and don’t get me wrong, Abby is a wonderful woman who I hurt, but she was also transformative for me as well, just in a different way. And then you asked me to move in. And something just snapped in my brain. Something just screamed ‘This can’t last, you’ve been the first for someone, but you are never the last.’ And I let those fears control my actions.”

                “I want you to be my last,” Evan finally got words out, “Just because I’m new to this whole being attracted to men thing doesn’t mean I’m new to the world. I know what love feels like. I know what I want and what I want is you.”

                “I know that now,” Tommy replied. He reached out and stroked Evan’s cheek, trying to wipe away the tears that he caused himself, “I know I don’t deserve it, and I have so much that I need to work through before I’m the man you deserve, but would you give me a second chance this time?”

                Evan sat still for a minute, “You did hurt me. And it will take some time to earn my trust back,” Tommy sighed as if he knew this would happen. This always happened. He let his hand drop, “But we need to talk more. And I would like to get to know who you really are. Scars and all,” Evan grabbed Tommy’s hand from where it fell and brought it up to his face, caressing it gently against his cheek, “I love you as well you idiot.”

                Tommy reached over to Evan and grabbed him. He pulled him in close. A simple hug right now, “I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you.”

                “You won’t,” Evan replied. Evan curled up into Tommy’s arms.

          ��     “Um,” Eddie said, “Did you two need a moment? Should I set up a guest room for you?”

                “Oh right,” Evan said, “I don’t think either of us is safe to drive anywhere,” He looked up at Tommy, “Stay with me tonight?”

                “Always,” Tommy said.

                Eddie sighed, “Give me a minute to get some stuff for a bed,” He walked out of the room. “And don’t you two even think about having sex on that couch or you will both live to regret it,” He called back in after.

                Tommy held Evan close to his chest, not letting him go. Evan could hear his heart racing right now. They kept silent, just laying there on the couch. This was a perfect moment. Tommy signed and felt complete again, “I’m going to have to try and convince you to move into my house though,” Tommy added, “I’m sorry but your place is just small,” He smiled.

                Evan smiled back, “I don’t think I thought my wording through,” he explained, “And I didn’t think you would actually want to move into my loft. It was more the ‘Let’s move in together’ part that I was trying to convey.”

                “We will need to work on communication,” Tommy held Evan close, “Each day I want to learn one new fact about you that I don’t know. And in return I’ll let you know a fact about me that you don’t know.”

                “You think I’ll be able to stop at just one fact?” Evan sounded incredulous, “Have you not been around me for the past six months?”

                “I don’t want to overwhelm either of us so lets just stick to one for now,” Tommy said.

                “I make no promises,” Evan replied, his voice haughty. Eddie chose that time to come in to let them know that the guest room was ready. He also asked them to please not have sex in his house tonight.

                “At least wait until you are at one of your places,” Eddie begged, “I don’t need to hear that.”

                “I make no promises,” Evan replied as he shakily got up, “Though I may be too drunk to do anything anyways.”

                “I’ll make sure that he behaves,” Tommy added. His head had cleared up a little more than Evan’s. Adrenaline must have burned off the alcohol in his system or something like that, “Just lead us to where we need to go.”

                Eddie leads the two men to a room with a bed. It was fairly sparse. But it was a bed. Evan went to the bed and faceplanted onto the pillows and immediately fell asleep. Tommy crawled in, wrapped his arms around Evan, who immediately curled up and sank into Tommy’s embrace. Eddie smiled, “I’m sure you remember where the bathroom is. Please don’t puke anywhere,” Eddie had a thought and left before returning with a small garbage can, “If you think Buck might get drunk sick, please aim him towards this.”

                “I’ll do my best,” Tommy said, “Good night, and thank you for taking care of him until I got here.”

                “He’s my best friend,” Eddie replied, “What else was I supposed to do?”

                Eddie smiled at Tommy and Evan laying in the bed. Evan had started to snore softly. Tommy just held him close and wouldn’t let go. He had to protect what they had now. Protect it at all costs. Slowly Tommy drifted off to sleep, the gentle snoring of Evan lulling him into a sense of peace.

***

Author's Note: And thus ended another of my story ideas that just pops into my head. Let me know what you all think of this and I'll see you all next time I do a Make Me Write or get one of my stories complete.

Love, Steve

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

The Excuse He's Trying To Look Straight Doesn't Work When This Show Has Shown Hell Is Anything But Heteronormative

I know we have seen how Andrealphus is observed making incestous comments at his sister even though its' gay and the official reason is that he's trying to act straight. But that is bs because the whole series there has never been a thing against non-straight people, except Katie Killjoy who is a sinner and it would be understandable she would have that attitude. However, hell society has been shown nothing but nonchalant about people's sexuality.

Seriously, the amount of non-straight people in hell seems to be the majority and straight people seem to be really a rarity. Seriously, the idea the royals would be heteronormative is bs and I think even the writers know it. Their creator even said they wanted gays to take back hell, but now they are trying to backtrack trying to put in a message about heteronormativity where it doesn't make sense. It's as forced as Crimson being biphobic or suggesting Striker and Stella are anti-lgbt just because they want to demonize them further.

If anything hell should be acephobic because they wouldn't understand why someone wouldn't want to screw or date any people. I think ace people would be the most misunderstood people down there. Again this scene with Bee and Ozzie putting down Mammon saying no one would fuck him while being confirmed ace should tell me a lot about how hell doesn't understand aces. And again that would take creative writing and not juvenile thinking.

Let's just get down to it they just wanted to make incest jokes and the audience ain't biting. And if they make more of them I have a feeling that will be more nails in this coffin, especially since they can't help but run jokes to the ground and make people even more turned off from the series. Seriously, it's now just like seasonal rot height family guy when it comes to just doing stuff uncomfortable for the sake of it, but at least FG didn't try to use bs to justify it.

[docholligay]

So my shul is doing a hunger drive for the high holy days and I want you to know that because of you I’m couponing like hell this week to see what I can take in terms of canned meats, non-peanut butter, and kid breakfasts. (And money. There will be money in there. But I can’t just put an envelope in a grocery bag by itself or they’ll think it’s empty.) I’ll be on “now I understand why my mom cooked like this” meals until I get paid again, but like, it’s a good time of year to remember how blessed I am to not normally have to do that. (And maybe I can convince the rabbis that next year we should do a penny war instead.) So: thank you for teaching me, and I hope it brightens your day to know it’s made a difference.

I am so glad! As I said, any time someone actually takes my advice about anything I am thrilled beyond belief.

Our congregation actually did a diaper drive, which I thought was a neat idea, not being able to talk anyone into just donating money. We work with an organization that helps families get on their feet via housing and various kinds of support, I've seen really good things happen with it. They're nominally Christian, kinda, in a very handwavey "sure why not" way--and when I say that I mean they work actively with us and also families with LGBT+ members. I know this on an "on the ground" way, in a "I have, in cooking dinners for some of their family dinners, met visibly LGBT+ families." They also keep a lot of kids out of the system! Parents that are just struggling with homelessness and are GOOD PARENTS otherwise, don't risk losing their kids in working with the programs.

ANYWAY, ENOUGH ABOUT THEM EVEN THOUGH I THINK THEY ARE GREAT.

It is always, I think, a good time to remember that we have advantages other people don't have. We are humans, and because we are humans, we always see the difficulties of our own situations, instead of how lucky we are in the moment. Every once in a whilte, i'll be standing in line at the grocery store and go, "I have no idea what this cart is going to cost" and it feels so WILD in that moment, that I have achieved the kind of life where I don't count cans of tuna or whatever. Me of the past would have said it would never happen. I think that is it's own value, knowing that we have advantages.

And also gifts! How will you use your gifts? I am a good cook for a crowd--cooking for 30-50 doesn't phase me-- so I take my rotation being the lead cook for the family dinner. I'm a decent writer, so I write up stuff for local organizations and events people make me aware of. I put people in contact with OTHER people I know who can help them, because I have a high social rolodex. I am good at physical labor, so sometimes I just...sign up to do it.

ANYWAY THANK YOU

[realhotgirlshitah]

https://www.tumblr.com/realhotgirlshitah/770698535437041664/also-listen-listen-his-ex-gf-like-with-all-her

NOW THATS WHAT GETS ME- I feel like BECAUSE of his ex gf, he’s been more like “guys go vote!” “Vote blue!” Like does he acc care or is this to like restate his image???? Idk Jack’s just weird bro. Him having weird gfs T-W-I-C-E. Like if it was a mistake the first time, then ya did it again pal! 😭 ALSO, I had no idea Josh’s wife was a trumpie, that feels like it reinstates Jack”s “vote blue” shit is just performative…like if he broke up with Haley bc she was a trump supporter, and still like acted all liberal, but still fw Josh and his wife, then ain’t it really all just performative??? And people are really arguing and being like “hey Jack isn’t a homewrecker bc there’s no home to wreck! ain’t wasn’t a marriage” SHUT UP BRO 😭 IF A GIRL WAS TRYNA GET WITH HIM WHILE HE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP YALL WOULD DRAG HER UP AND DOWN THE CURB.

Another thing I will say is that I don’t think that him being liberal is super performative considering the fact that his mother has always openly been a leftist who advocates for women’s, lgbt and poc rights! She also has taken Jack to a bunch of rallies and educated him on these topics which he has been open about way before haley as well which is super important to note.

HOWEVER… I do believe that the people you surround yourselves with is a good representation of what beliefs you hold which is what has me so split. Haley and Hayley, support shitty causes which wasn’t a good look for Jack but there’s also still people like his mother, Romeo and Willa that hold and represent very different beliefs.

Also Josh himself I do believe is a liberal but it’s just his wife that ms questionable. Very important to note that he’s quite high profile personal trainer in the industry who was hired to work with Jack since he was 14 so to me it makes sense why they haven’t been cut off or kicked to the curb. Contracts aside, Josh has been a big brother/father figure to him through an integral period of his life and career so that’s another thing I’m split on. It’s still fuck Josh for encouraging a relationship with Haley in the first place but overall it kind of makes it make more sense that Jack gravitated towards her so much

The whole thing with Inde is a whole mess though and weirds me out. If Jack homewrecked, that’s very odd of him and im huge believer in how you get someone is how you lose them when it comes to cheating so I guess we’ll see.

But the way a lot of his fans have approached this, is SUPER odd to me. I’ve seen the stuff of Duncanyes insta and though I see where they’re coming from, their content, commentary and stuff said by their moots puts me off. For them and a lot of other Jack stans, it’s way too parasocial and very unhealthy. I cannot stand when people believe that celebrities owe them something just because they’ve shown them support. I would definitely hate if I was in that situation and people spoke about me as if I owe them my entire career and obedience. Yes fans are the reason why celebrities are who they are but I genuinely believe that acknowledging and appreciating the support they’re given is enough. The issue is so many fans are stuck on the belief that they’re entitled to controlling their fave’s life and that they must upkeep that image of them they’ve created in their head. Trying to find the balance as a celeb must be exhausting especially at such a young age.

I think Jack is a good person and overall means well, he’s made a couple of mistakes but it’s so easy to make assumptions and it’s normal to feel a sense of disappointment. For me that’s why more than anything you’ll see me wrote content about his character, particularly Ethan, as opposed to him

That’s not to say I wont write any Jack content! That lil white boy is FOINE. But like i said, Im not one for feeding too much into parasocial relationships with real people and expecting complete perfection from them

Thanks for yapping with me though anon! I love you REAL BAD 😌😌❤️

[soap-mothership5]

This is sorta how I imagine Orel and his family in the future post-ending (+headcanons) (Part 2) :

Bloberta and Christina edition

// These headcanons happen assuming MO takes place in the 90’s - early 2000’s

(Incoherent rambling warning, these turn EXTREMELY SPECIFIC as it goes on)

anyways let’s do this

Christina

If Orel had a limp in his left leg, Christina has chronic pain in her right arm. Only Orel knows why.

Christina becomes a Literature Major in college. Growing up in the household she had, Christina sought comfort in books growing up (She hid them under the floorboards and some remain even after moving out).

She has a worn out copy of “Are you there God? It’s Me, Margaret” she stole from the forbidden section of the library. It was appalling to her at first, but it became her favourite book to read in her teen years (second place to the Bible, of course).

She likes to talk about boys (Orel) to Stephanie, who’s also become like a big sister to her.

Because of their fields of study, they have a long distance relationship. They break up for a certain time period because of this, but in the end they reconnect and love each other again. (I’ll write more on this in the near future, Orel and Christina is ENDGAME for me)

She starts working as an English teacher when she comes back to live with Orel and their siblings. When they finally have kids, she passes on to her daughter her book collection.

————————————————————

Bloberta

(This is way longer than I expected omg)

After dedicating a large part of her life to Clay and the children, she leaves home when Orel leaves for college. She would be in her late 40’s at this point.

Using what savings she kept over the years, she travels all around the U.S. staying in motels, hostels, rented houses, etc. She collects postcards and souvenirs for her kids and grandkids.

Years into her journey she visits Orel for his marriage ceremony and decides to divorce her husband shortly after. It ends bittersweet.

She had a long series of lovers (men and women) she’s been with over the years. While they still had their impacts on her, these relationships stayed unfulfilling in the end. Part of it is because she’s still plagued with the guilt of her actions with Clay and the kids with no sense of closure (or responsibility).

She married another man from Tallahassee but only for a half a year (don’t ask her about it).

She finds out she’s queer by the time she travels to the East Coast. She’s not familiar with modern LGBT terms so she stays unlabeled.

By the time she’s in her late 50’s/early 60’s, she decides to finally move in with Shapey and his family.

that’s all for now…if you have anything to say leave them in the comments or reblogs…if you want for me to write more you can also comment and share!!

Currently I’m working more on Orel, Shapey, and Block. If you have anyone in mind you want me to HC send me an ask or place ‘‘em in the comments

Thank you for those who liked and shared my prev post…I haven’t done stuff like this in a while!!

(It’s 2am and I am so tired help me.)

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you write the TADC cast with a male ballet dancer reader? The reader experiences gender dysphoria 24/7 because they look very feminine and all that.

TADC cast x male!ballet dancer!reader w/ dysphoria

back to finishing up the current line up of requests!! reminder that im only doing requests that have been sent in prior to them being closed! any requests that are sent in while theyre still closed will not be taken and will be deleted so i can keep track of what was sent before closing; its nothing against any of yall and you guys can resend your stuff when they are reopened (i will make it very obvious when they are so dw!!) on a different note i could have sworn i did a cast request with a reader who does ballet; but i guess it was only for jax and i was confusing the group request for the ballora type! reader from this morning huh anyways!! i hope you enjoy this anon! quick warning that i know literally nothing about ballet so im

CAINE:

i think he enjoys a bunch of art forms; from music stuff to dance stuff to painting stuff, this man has taste. i think he would give you a bunch of outfits for you to wear and swap around that fits your aesthetic. bro would give you a whole walk in closet. as for dysphoria, i think he would do a similar thing with jax and reinforce how masculine you are to him, usually through affirmations, but he also shows it through just being there for you, bro is not only your number one fan but hes also your biggest supporter

POMNI:

i am yet again stumped on what to put in for pomni, since i think pomni is. bad at comforting people. very awkward, do not go to her for advice she will fumble so bad. now its not like shes not trying, but i think she would be all over the place trying to cover everything that could possibly help you; perhaps you two ultimately settle on cuddling one another... if this werent the digital world you two would probably put on a movie to take your mind off of it. as for her thoughts on ballet! i think she would find it neat, similar to jax she would have a form of respect for it!

RAGATHA:

she thinks it looks pretty, the dancing! she wouldnt know all the history or more in depth parts of it but she would watch you practice if you allowed her too... i think she would make you a binder, if your digital body causes any gender dysphoria for you.. though now that i type this i recall it being said that the characters clothing being stuck to their body.. so maybe she would just make you clothing thats more masculine as well? im not sure on this one!

JAX:

doing jax first since he already got a similar post and i can use it as a basis; ive said this in that post as well as the ballora one but i think he would at least appreciate the dedication and hard work that goes into ballet... to like, fully commit to something like that impresses him you know? as for dysphoria, i think he would make it a point to call you more masculine terms. hes gonna be trying his best to try to help you with your dysphoria in the way that best helps you. lays off on his teasing on days where its worse

KINGER:

i am yet again distraught that i do not have many ideas for kinger this time, which is sad because hes my favorite character and i can relate so hard to the dysphoria thing... thinks.. probably throws all of his knowledge at you. i mean hes been in the circus for a while, hes probably seen at least a few people come and go; and sure what are the odds that he has some experience helping someone fight through their dysphoria... a boy can dream! takes you to his pillow fort and lets you stay for as long as you want

probably sits and watches you dance on a makeshift pillow thrown. claps when you're done, probably throws roses... i think caine would throw roses too except he would throw way more simply because he can literally. manifest as many as he wants

ZOOBLE:

i dont usually like sharing my lgbt hcs about characters out of fear that it would be met with discourse but if i recall correctly zooble doesnt really have a gender/a set one (if im wrong correct me!) so they understand the dysphoria thing; i think they would offer to let you hang out in your room and vent your feelings out. probably tries to give advice on how to feel better in general if you want advice, but if you want comfort theyre gonna do your best to give it to you. i dont think zooble would have much of an opinion on ballet; neither negative or positive, simply knowing thats its an art form! supports you if it makes you happy, though!

GANGLE:

while not the same thing, i like to think gangle used to do ribbon dancing in the real world... because... ribbon girl. see look im so so creative

but also i think it looks pretty

so you guys can bond over your hobbies! you might have to pry gangle to open up and talk about her interest in it, assuming she picks it up again in the digital world! as for dysphoria, i think gangle would be like zooble in terms of lending you some support; offers to help distract you if you dont want to tackle the issue at that point in time. i dont know about you, but sometimes i just, dont want to deal with my own dysphoria, but perhaps thats just a me thing

[loveofbots]

Gently lays down. I want to tell Swerve that I like listening to him talk and that I genuinely love having him around and that he deserves to be listened to more- you don't have to do a write or headcanons if you don't feel it I just want Swerve to know he's loved and the world needs to HEAR IT

Anon listen you’re so right here have some headcanons as a treat

Based on me n a couple of buddies going over what makes a cybertronian physically attractive/cybertronian beauty standards (which I will go into another time) Swerve is actually pretty hot! However it's canon that a mech will prefer someone's personality over their looks, and that's why Swerve gets no bitches

If Swerve ever found out how big of a fanbase he has online, he would explode, reform, and then explode again. Not only does he have an autistic fascination with humans, he would be THRILLED to know we have an autistic fascination with him.

He knows undertale exists, and yes sans is his favorite character.

I really think he's smart. That bitch must have a LOT of memory to contain all of human media plus cybertronian knowledge plus bartending knowledge PLUS his old degree (he's educated!!) And I think this is why he and Skids and Nautica get along. They are all fucking nerds

I'd love to start a podcast with him. Like a weekly Lost Light podcast with a catchy af name. Just talking about whatever went down the last few days, he does little advertisements for his bar, reader gets to bring up new human concepts to him/learn cybertronian concepts n stuff. Just overall good cheerful fun.

Swerve is nonbinary, or at least doesn't abide by a binary in general. Gender is a human concept and for cybertronians it just doesn't make much sense. If you were LGBT+ on the lost light he'd be your number one supporter. That's all for now! I love me some Swerve boi