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City Pigeons Bleed Green - Part 24
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“We should make H— Jason spend some time in here,” Danny said. He was good with the rest of the name now, but he still struggled with with Jason. He was trying. “He could use the reason to relax.”
“I do not believe that Todd is capable of relaxing,” Damian said with a little frown and Danny was pretty sure meant Damian was uncertain, but other people tended to think that it meant Damian was judging them.
“Sure he can. He makes a great pillow too,” Danny said. He leaned over and bumped his shoulders against Damian’s. “Totally bet if you just just sat down and leaned against him, he wouldn’t do anything.”
“Tch.”
“Okay, sure, half of that would be because he’d be too shocked, but really. He’s secretly a cuddler but, like, in a totally different way than Dick. Jason is more like Cass is.”
Damian’s brows were knitted together, but he gave a considering little nod at that.
Danny was glad that Damian went through the door to the hall first. He wasn’t sure when it had happened, exactly, but being out of the apartment now felt wrong and bad and… scary. Danny knew that had delayed them taking him to the Manor and was making some of them anxious, but Danny just couldn’t… it was hard to shake, even if everywhere they went had been safe.
“How were the kittens, Dandelion?” Jason asked. He was leaning against one wall and Lacey stood next to him, looking at something on her phone.
“Pointy,” Danny said with a little smile, “and very cute.”
“We are going to go see the dogs now instead,” Damian said.
“Okay,” Lacey said with a smile. “Your brother and I were talking about what might work for you. I think we have a few options, but I actually have someone in mind for you to meet first of the bunch. She might not work at all but… I have a hunch.”
“As ludicrous as it sounds, Ms. Lacey’s hunches do often play out,” Damian said. “Which dog are we going to see?”
“You haven’t met her yet. She just came here from another shelter because the last one didn’t have the space for her. Before that she was out in the suburbs where she had been adopted, but she kept trying to herd all the other animals and children. They got her from a shelter where she had been surrendered by her owners because they moved to a new apartment that wouldn’t let a dog like her in.”
Danny frown grew as Lacey talked. “Oh, wow… she’s been through a lot of homes, hasn’t she?”
“She has, and it’s really not her fault. She’s only a year and a half old, so she’s still a bit of a puppy and will need training, but she’s a real sweetheart and I think she just needs the right person to love her back.” Lacey paused in front of a door and opened it to some sort of waiting room. “Now, she is a large dog, so I’ll keep her on a harness when I bring him in and you let me know when you’re comfortable for her to come close, okay?”
“Okay,” Danny agreed. He knew he had told Damian not small, but he was suddenly a little concerned by how large was large.
Jason must have been able to tell, because he led Danny over to the small couch to sit down with him while Damian scooted the chair he chose closer to Danny’s open side.
Very, was the answer to how large was large a few minutes later when Lacey brought in a huge dog. The bright red harness barely visible through the mass of black fur that seemed to stand straight out from the dog in a massive mane.
“Okay, come on girl, down,” Lacey said, drawing out the words.
When the large, deep black eyes turned to her, she pointed purposefully at the ground. The dog huffed and settled on the floor looking like some avant guard throw pillow. She snuffed curiously at the group and shuffled forward a few inches on her belly before peering up at Lacey to see if she was noticed.
“Stay. Like I said, still a puppy,” Lacey said fondly.
“What breeds do we suspect she is?” Damian asked.
“She’s definitely a large part chow,” Lacey answered. “She has the black mouth and everything. We’re guessing black lab maybe as some of the rest or some other sporting dog. From those breeds, and her behavior so far, she’s going to be loyal and protective. She will need to be exercised as specially at this age she’ll have a lot of energy, but I know you have the yard to let her run. Fetch or retrieval games will be great stimulation for her and walks can probably be kept pretty short, but I know that Damian could help you train her. Do you want to come over here and let her smell your hand? Or we could just let her settle in and wander the room.”
“I’ll, um…” Danny trailed off as he moved to sit down on the ground at Jason’s feet. He leaned forward and offered his hand, stretching out as far as he could.
The mass of fluff crept forward a few inches, then a few more, and the last few to where she was close enough to sniff at Danny’s hand. The curly tail started to wag before the dog gave Danny’s hand a lick.
A small smile lit up Danny’s face. “Oh, you’re just a big fluffy sweetheart, aren’t you?”
“She really is. She gives me the biggest puppy dog eyes every time someone passes her and doesn’t give her attention. She really wants nothing more than to be with people or other pets and part of a family,” Lacey said.
Danny watched the dog snuff at Danny’s hand before he decided that it was probably okay to move forward a little more so that he could pet the dog. His fingers sank into the thick black fur and the curly tail started to wag.
“She’s kinda like a big teddy bear,” Danny said, completely missing the look that Damian and Jason exchanged behind his back at that statement.
“Chows are like that.,” Lacey agreed. “They get a bad rep because they can be really protective of their owners, so if she’s the dog you go with, you will need to work on socializing her. Taking her to the dog park or things like that would be a good step.”
“It will help that there is such a large amount of family and acquaintances coming and going from the manor,” Damian added. “But if she is the dog that will be yours, we can easily set up a plan for socialization.”
“I, um, I’ve never adopted a pet before. How do I know if she’s the right one?” Danny asked.
“Seeing if you get a long is a good start. With a big dog like her, I think you should walk him a little and play some. We can try some tricks too and see how she listens to you,” Lacey said. “We have a two week trial window where if you think she’s the right dog, she’ll go home with you and you can see how it all works out. If it doesn’t, she comes back here no issues.”
Danny took in a calming breath and let it out. “Okay, let’s see how it goes.”
The dog was a lot. There was no doubt about that what with her size, but she did seem very eager to listen. She apparently walked very well with Danny, even if that was almost sandwiched up against Danny’s side between him and the road. It reminded him of how Jason always walked, as if guarding Danny from the world.
There back at the shelter now. Danny buried his fingers in the dog’s thick fur, ruffling it idly.
“What do you guys think?” he asked his brothers.
“I think that she will be a loyal dog for you,” Damian said, “and that training her may also be beneficial for you.”
“That,” Jason said, “and that she likes you already just like you like her already. I think the only real question is what’s her name going to be?”
Danny looked down at the almost bottomless seeming brown eyes that were staring adoringly back up at him. “Ursa. Her name’s Ursa.”
-
Ursa took to the Manor immediately— or at least took next to being by Danny’s side in the manor. His bed seemed much smaller with her laying next to him, but he had a feeling it he woke up that night with a nightmare that it wouldn’t last long.
His fingers tightened in her mane as he took a breath and hit send on the text message to Babs.
Her name is Jasmine Fenton.
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Lover, you’re on your own
Pairings: Austin Butler x Female!Reader
Summary: After years of your divorce, Austin and you get in each other’s way again. Catch up, know what happened in last few years.
Author’s note: I don’t even know what this plot is but I kinda liked the idea of Austin and Reader finding themselves again. I kinda liked it, idk.
Warning: mentions of divorce, unhealthy relationships, children loss, spousal death, the reader’s been through a shit ton of divorces.
You were inside a café in New York City, enjoying being in your own for a while. After another hectic divorce, the choice of going to a bar wasn’t even on your mind anymore.
You started to wonder if you were cursed, you didn’t even care to count how many divorces you’ve had in the last thirteen years. Were you really never good enough to be a long time wife? Or did faith have something else for you in store? Whatever it was, life treated you like trash.
You drank your coffee quietly as she scrolled through your phone, you heard the door of the café open and close. You were very perceptive of who came in, who left, who coughed, who laughed. And once you saw who came in, you had to do a double take.
You knew that guy— man. He wasn’t a young guy anymore but a man. Austin. All those years ago and you still remembered him. Of course you had seen his rapid success these last years, he was everywhere. But you were in his past and you understood it. You didn’t expect anything but you wouldn’t lie if you said you didn’t want him to at least recognize you, wave at you or at least smile and nod his head.
You focused on your overpriced coffee and muffin, stealing gentle glances towards him. Until one time, you both made eye contact, he was going to turn back to his phone but immediately turned back again to see you. Oh, he recognized you!
“Hey.” His deep voice spoke as he reached your small table. You looked up.
“Austin. Wow. Hi!” You said, as if you had just seen him. “Oh my goodness, it’s been so long.” You stood up, greeting him with a hug.
“Look at you. You’re all grown up now.” He smiled at you. Whistling a little.
“I could say the same about you.” You said, sitting down again. Thank God he recognized you.
“Wow. I just can’t believe it. It’s been what… ten years?”
“Thirteen.” You corrected him. His eyes widened.
“Thirteen years? Damn, that long? He chuckled. “What are you doing in New York anyways. You used to tell me how much you hated the city.”
“A girl can change. And I find that bars here serve much better drinks.” You chuckled with him, then there was a calm silence before he spoke up.
“I heard you got married. Who’s the lucky guy?”
You sighed, showing him your empty right hand. Oh, so divorced already?
“How long?” He asked.
“Two years married. It was just a disagreement between us. We weren’t looking for the same shit in the long run anyways.” You sighed. It was better to say that than to reveal that your last husband left you for a barely legal girl.
“Two years. Damn.” Austin pressed his lips together, he looked away as he brought the cup to his lips.
“I heard you��re dating a model. Cindy Crawford’s daughter. That’s nice, it give you some… it factor.” You said, you were being half sarcastic and half truthful.
“Ah. Yes, Kaia.” He said, he really didn’t sound enthusiastic. “Everything is going just fucking peachy.” He said, a smirk on his lips.
You nod. The whole tired voice went over your head. He was dating a model, what else could a man wish for? If not a model with long limbs.
“Listen. I’m filming a movie right not but— I surely can make time to see you again. You said you drink, right?”
Your eyes immediately lit up, of course you could make time for him. Well, you wanted to catch up. That’s all.
“Sure. Yeah, what day?”
It was a cold night. But inside the bar it was cozy. You both had ordered, he ordered an Old-Fashioned and you ordered a Cosmopolitan.
You started drinking the night away, you weren’t outright tipsy, but the alcohol was getting to your head.
“I really, really wanted to ask. What’s the true reason behind your divorce?” He asked as he held his glass on his big hands.
You sighed. You were already here. You had known him forever. Yes, you two might have not seen each other in more than a decade, but beforehand you were husband and wife. You shouldn’t be honest at least.
“He cheated on me. With the neighbor.” You confessed, he gasped softly, his hand going to his mouth. “Yeah. She was nineteen, now he’s dating her.”
“What a motherfucker…” Austin said, rubbing his chin.
“I’m starting to believe I curse every guy that gives me a ring. Seriously, five failed marriages. I must be cursed.” You sighed, his eyes widened even more.
“Five you say?” His voice was incredulous. Five. Five marriages. He was your first, of course. “What about the other three? If you don’t mind me asking…”
“My second husband, Tyler, we weren’t a match made in heaven. I guess he scared me a lot. He would drink his paycheck away. We divorced because his incompetent ass went to rehab.” You sighed as you played with the napkins.
“Then there was Eric, he was boring. He spent more time on his office than he did with me. He wasn’t so bad, he was just distant, very. He loved his job more than he ever loved me. He didn’t even talk to me, he just left the divorce papers in the kitchen. He had left a day prior.”
“Then there was… Nate.” You sighed, looking down again at the napkin you’ve been ripping apart. “He wasn’t perfect. Indeed he could be very moody and he yelled all the time. But I cared for him. I didn’t expect him to be taken from me. No wife does. By I learned to accept it. Now I remember him from time to time. I take flowers to his grave whenever I can.”
Austin’s eyes softened as he reached out his hand and placed it upon your shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze. My goodness, where did you find those bastards to marry?
“Got any kids?” He asked you. Softly. Threading carefully.
“I tried. After we lost our boy, I really tried to get pregnant again. I wasn’t able to.” You said softly, you had at least wanted a baby. Not because you thought it would fulfill you. That was crap. But you wanted a kid so that you wouldn’t be so alone. “But I’m also grateful I never had a kid. It wouldn’t have been healthy if I had the kid calling three men daddy.”
“That’s true.” Austin said, taking a sip from his glass and nodding his head. “Listen. I know that you might think that I’ve forgotten about our baby. I haven’t. I visit the grave whenever I can. It’s just hard for me. Still. To believe he would have been thirteen this year.”
Austin looked down again. Taking your hand in his, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.
Your baby boy would have been thirteen this year. How time flies.
You and Austin had been eighteen when you had a shotgun wedding because he knocked you up. He had been nervous but so happy. I mean, a tiny baby? He adored tiny babies. It was a happy married albeit you two didn’t know what to do.
But then, it happened, you delivered a beautiful baby boy. A tiny black-haired beauty, he had been a fighter, he had tried to beat the heat stroke that took him. You cried for days, he was there by your side, but he was young too and he was battling with his own demons, he quite literally filled for divorce out of nowhere, when you needed him the most.
You never saw each other again until now.
“I sometimes wonder, how different my life would be if he had lived.” Austin said softly, looking at you.
“Me too.” You wanted to cry, but you held back. You already cried a lot to your first child. You cried in private, like a prayer.
“Maybe we should’ve stayed married.” Austin said, almost with a hint of hopelessness. You stared up at him, a small smile on your lips.
“You were the best of them all.” You said, a smile on your lips. For all his faults, back then he was a kid too, and he mourned in whatever way he found fit.
“What a terrifying thought,” he finished his Old-Fashioned and laughed once again, shaking his head as he licked his lips. “Jesus Christ, don’t say that.”
You laughed together again, as you had done when you were younger. As you used to do late at night. And for some hours, you were happy by his side. He took this as an opportunity to talk about him now.
“You know, my girlfriend and I are having problems. Last thing I knew was that she fucked this comedian guy, from SNL…”
As you waited for a taxi, you smoked together. Maybe this could be the last time you two saw each other. Your lives were the total opposite now. He was a successful actor with a girlfriend and you were an office worker, who spent all her time working or outside.
But you couldn’t deny that when he talked, you stared at his lips, he stared at yours. The way he smoked, the way he held the cigarette.
“Aren’t you lonely now? I mean, you’re all alone.” Austin asked as he threw the ash on the floor.
“I’m trying to learn how to be alone. It will be my next year’s resolution. Stay away from dating.” You chuckled, you then took a drag from your cigarette. “But yes. I can’t get lonely from time to time. I have been someone’s wife for too long, being and living with someone changed the way you feel once they’re gone.”
“I can relate. Kaia and I— we never even got to live together before everything went south. All just because of her stupid parents and her stupid pap walks. It’s exhausting, really.” He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with this empty hand. “And now that I finally put my limits. She’s all mad at me, with her team sending these ridiculous articles, making me the bad guy.”
“Hey, it’ll get better.” You said, patting his shoulder. “That’s what you get for dating a twenty-something year old.” You patted his shoulder a bit more playfully.
You two started playing with one another, pushing each other playfully, the cigarettes on the floor already. Until he cornered you in the brick wall.
He leaned in and kissed you, you followed the kiss, at first it started slow but it escalated quickly. His tongue entered your mouth, both your tongues danced with one another, his hand went to your neck, pressing it softly. You both could taste the cigarette and liquor on your lips and mouths.
You hadn’t kissed someone in so long, but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t. No. Not like this. No, you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t say anymore.
So after a while, you pushed him off you gently. He was out of breath, he kicked his lips, his hand going to the side of your head, he leaned down.
“You could survive another man…” He basically purred out, his lips on a smirk.
“It wouldn’t work between us.” You said. Looking into his eyes.
“Why not?” He asked, his eyes only showed confusion.
He would forget you, and you would forget him. For the love of God, never once in thirteen years did he try to contact you, and viceversa. You both would remember your baby boy, but not one another. You two would disappear into each other’s memory until you were old and wrinkly, telling your grandchildren or whatever young person asked about your youth. Talking about how you had a shotgun wedding. Of how you two lost your baby. About how you two continued each other’s lives like strangers.
“We’re too different now.” You said, it was all you could mutter.
Not all the bottled up pain you had from when he just left you, grieving and alone. Nothing. You just couldn’t even talk about it anymore.
He stared at you and nodded. You know what? He understood. He understood where you came from. He was a dick back then. And he couldn’t expect you to jump into his arms after all the men you went through, after what you went through with him.
“It’s alright.” He said, pulling away from you. “I guess I should go back to my apartment, it’s late.” He cleared his throat and came closer to hug you. “It was great seeing you again. I hope we see each other walking by or something. Goodbye.”
He knew he was lying. He was pleased to see you, but every time he looked at you, he saw your younger self. He saw the baby. He saw all the bad things. He loved you once. Not anymore. He had a special place for you in his memory.
But it would be the last time you two saw each other.
As you watched him walk away, you took deep breaths. That was it. You were alone once again. As you had been before he walked into the café. You had no one to turn to tomorrow.
As a taxi pulled to the side, you got in and told the driver the address of the hotel you were staying at.
You were all on your own.
I won’t have any free time from now on so… I’ll try to really write whenever I have time.
#austin butler#austinbutler#austin butler fanfiction#austin butler imagine#austin butler fic#austin butler x reader#austin butler x y/n#austin butler x you#Austin butler x female!reader
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Ok listen, I wrote this at like 11 last night in about thirty minutes, and have only proofread it twice. But screw it, here’s my “it was all a dream” fic.
Buck awoke with a gasp, sitting straight up in bed. His bare chest heaving as he focuses on catching his breath, slowing his rapidly beating pulse. The events of the last few days are swimming in his head…but they don’t seem quite as sharp. He sits there for a moment, trying to remember….
“Evan?”
Buck startles a bit, but then immediately relaxes. Oh.
Oh.
“Are you okay?” Tommy stands at the top of the stairs holding two cups of steaming coffee. His hair is mussed from sleep and he has a look of concern on his face.
Buck breathes out a quick relived laugh. “Yeah, yeah I-I’m okay”
Tommy doesn’t look convinced as he approaches the bed and sits gingerly next to Buck handing him a cup of coffee. He waits for Buck to continue.
“I just had the strangest dream…” Buck trails off staring straight ahead, his brow furrowed.
Tommy stares at him, eyebrows raised, and when Buck doesn’t elaborate he asks “are you going to elaborate?”
“Oh! Yeah! Umm… So we go to our anniversary dinner and it’s great, but then this girl asks me to take a picture of her and her friends and she’s clearly flirting but I’m not interested but I take the picture then you and I start talking about how you were engaged to a woman and it turns out that woman was Abby!”
Buck takes a breath and examines the confused frown overtaking Tommy’s face and then dramatically proclaims “MY EX ABBY!”
Tommy huffs in exasperation and gives an eye roll as he says, “Yes I got that, but, wait, hold on- we had the past relationships discussion like three months in. I definitely would have told you I was engaged to your ex. Or like…at all.”
“I know but dream us clearly didn’t have that conversation! Also, I didn’t know what the Kinsey scale is but you did!” Buck doesn’t know why but that last part really stuck with him.
One of Tommy’s eyebrows shoots up toward his hairline as he says, “Pretty sure you’re the one who told me about the Kinsey scale after your big queer research binge.”
Buck points his coffee at Tommy, a slightly wild look in his eyes, “Exactly, but apparently dream me didn’t have that research binge! AND!” At this, Buck narrows his eyes accusingly and Tommy prepares himself to have the ‘you can’t be mad at real me for what dream me said‘ argument.
Buck continues, “You called me a himbo.”
Tommy barks a disbelieving laugh as he says, “No I didn’t! Not even dream me could think of you as a himbo.”
Buck rolls his eyes and amends, “Well ok, you said Abby moved on with some himbo, but you didn’t know it was me.”
Tommy nods, somehow following along. “Right, dream us didn’t have the past exes convo. Okay….interesting. Anyway, I’m assuming you spiraled about this whole engaged to Abby thing.”
Buck glared at him. “Wow, rude.” After a beat Buck said “But, I mean, yeah, okay, I did. And I went to talk to Maddie about it and she joked about how many guys Abby turned gay…”
Tommy laughed again, “Wooooah, ok dream Maddie with the homophobia! I hope dream you corrected her!”
“Well I told her you were already gay but I didn’t correct her and tell her I was bi, which is weird.”
“Yeah, agreed. I mean, you took the online quiz and everything.” Tommy quips.
Buck tries to shoot him a dirty look, but he’s clearly fighting back a smile, “Yes, yes I did. Then Josh jumps in with this awesome speech about how coming out in a pre Glee world was different than coming out in a post Glee world and I couldn’t judge those who came before me…”
Tommy interrupts at this point, sensing a pattern. “Again, didn’t you tell me about an article you read about the Glee thing? Are you just giving everyone your research binges in your dreams?”
But shakes his head in exasperation at his dream self and says “Apparently. Anyway, dream Josh helped me to realize that….”
Tommy notices the way that Buck trails off. “That…?”
There’s a slight blush on Bucks face as he continues. “Well… I mean, you know, that I really care about you and I care about your happiness as much as my own and…and I can see a future with you.”
Buck chances a look at Tommy who is smiling at him with so much fondness it makes his heart hurt.
Tommy finally responds with, “Sap.”
Buck can’t help but laugh at that, “Shut up!”
He shoves playfully at his boyfriend’s arm, mindful of the hot coffees they’re both holding. He sobers up when he remembers the next part of his dream. Tommy notices this change in Bucks demeanor and his face becomes serious as he patiently waits for Buck to continue.
Buck takes a steadying breath and says “Then you came over and I asked you to move in with me and you said no because you ‘know how this ends’ and I was gonna break your heart because I was just excited about the newness of being with a guy or whatever and ‘your first isn’t your last’ and then….you broke up with me.”
Tommy’s eyebrows are crinkled again as he processes this.
He shakes his head as if to clear it, “….hang on none of that makes sense. First of all, glad to know dream me is a psychic. Second of all, i wouldn’t call a six month long relationship new. Third of all, thats kinda messed up to say your first queer relationship can’t be your last. Hell, some people have their first ever relationship be their last! It’s not that unusual. Fourth of all, why would I break my own heart and yours over something that might not happen? Fifth of all…”
Buck’s smiling in amusement now, “I don’t think anyone has ever gotten past second of all…”
Tommy barely stops as he says, “Hush - fifth of all! I wouldn’t move in with you simply because where the hell would I put my car lift and Muay Thai ring? Your ‘dinning room’?” He puts air quotes around dinning room, nearly spilling his coffee in the process.
Buck is still smiling as he teases, “Are you done? There’s no sixth of all?”
Tommy sighs and sits for a moment before saying, “Well I’m sure if you gave me a moment I could think of one…”
Buck snorts a quick laugh and mutters “Uh huh” before taking a sip of his coffee.
Tommy���s shaking his head again, this time more in disbelief. “Dream me wasn’t thinking right. Like I’d break up with the guy I love because I’m worried he might one day break up with me.”
Buck freezes. He looks over at Tommy and asks, “….you love me?”
Tommy also freezes, his coffee mug stilled at his lips. His voice goes up an octave when he responds, “…..what?”
There’s a slight tinge of awe in Bucks voice when he says, “You said ‘the guy I love’. Do you love me?”
Tommy looks over at Buck and there’s this hopeful and almost timid look on his face. He remembers the worry he felt when he came up the stairs and saw Buck sitting up in bed, gasping as if recovering from a nightmare. Then he realizes something: Buck may have said it was a strange dream but in truth, it was a nightmare. The idea that Tommy might walk away from him. Might give up on him. Might hurt him. Just like his past relationships did. Tommy can’t have him thinking that for a second longer.
He looks Buck straight in the eye, hoping the sincerity of what he says next comes through loud and clear: “Of course I love you, Evan. More than anything.”
Buck’s smile grows impossibly brighter, his blue eyes shining as he says, “I love you, too.”
Tommy has to kiss him about it. He lifts his left hand up to cradle Buck’s head and leans in, Buck meeting him half way. Buck lifts his right hand to gently rest on Tommy’s bicep, then moves it to his waist. The kiss is gentle, warm, loving.
When they break, they lean their foreheads together and sigh contentedly.
Tommy breaks the comfortable silence first “So…dream you sees a future with me? What about real you?”
Buck huffs a laugh and says, “Yeah, that part is true, definitely.”
Tommy knows his whole face is crinkling as he says, “Okay. Good. Me too.”
Buck smiles dopily back, “Good.”
Tommy takes a deep breath as he gathers the courage to ask his next question. It helps that their foreheads are still resting together and he can’t actually see Bucks face when he says, “So. Evan. How about you move in with me?”
Buck pulls back quickly, and for a moment Tommy panics, but he relaxes when he sees the look of wonder on Buck’s face “Seriously?”
Tommy tries to control the smile on his face as he dryly says, “No I’m making a really cruel joke,” Then rolls his eyes and laughs, “Yes seriously! I have plenty of space, the 118 isn’t much further from my place than it is from here, and well, I like the idea of having you around all the time.”
“Why be apart when we can be together?” Buck asks, still smiling.
Tommy strokes his left hand through Bucks hair, “Exactly! So? What do you say? Will you move in with me?”
Buck practically jumps on Tommy, coffee mugs be damned, and laughs“Yes. Yes! Tommy, absolutely!”
The mugs get moved safely to one of the nightstands as they spend their morning celebrating this new milestone. It’s a pretty amazing start to their sixth month anniversary.
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ep 24 commentary (brain fried edition)
my head is a little empty after ep 24 tbh!! brain is not braining after all the zyc hurt no comfort (-:
some scattered thoughts here and there, painstakingly corralled like cats out of my vacuous brain and into a list (spoilers):
ZYZ is really emo this episode poor dude like he is having a hard time keeping it together it seems. Every other word out of his mouth is depressing as shit, which is saying a lot considering how depressing he usually is already (': I kind of wanted this episode to pick his brain more, give him room to emote in the aftermath of all that. But it almost feels like the character refuses to be alone, like he might spiral if he has too much time to get in his own head. I'm still so curious to know, though, what he thinks about the state of their promise in light of how far ZYC went trying to save him. “He has us,” ZYZ said to WX. When the time comes, I wonder how he'll reconcile that with what he’s asked of ZYC.
PSJ and Ying Lei bonding! shenanigans! I did laugh thank you guys. Also, not that the team didn't operate separately before, but I really get a sense of how much ZYC held things together with how apparent his absence is. It's obvs heartwarming seeing how hard everyone is working to save him (PSJ especially for me bc I love their mutual tacit trust and respect and all the ways they're alike and different), but ultimately it's still so angsty (':
Kind of love the couple instances where ZYC has been referred to as fragile/weak/of delicate constitution (depending on how you wanna translate it) like that's a very interesting quality to assign to basically the tank of your team. Even if the comments are made facetiously, it just reminds me of how often we witness his mortality, and of course how everything about the styling, aesthetics, and content of the flashbacks to his childhood reinforce a characterization of vulnerability at the very heart of him. I saw someone mention how the Cloud Light Sword responded to ZYC's tears and to that vulnerability rather than brute strength, and I totally agree. I love how this "fragile" characterization plays into the whole fate weapon deal. ZYC's strength is (imo) unconventional, and it is his sensitivity, his compassion, and his deep capacity to feel that the sword acknowledges, resonates with, and empowers. Almost like it protects his tender heart rather than making it something he needs to overcome to get stronger.
One thing I will never get over is how incredibly they styled TJR as baby!Yichen, adult ZYC, and Bingyi. What do you mean this is all from one drama and not three separate productions. Insane. I'm out of my mind with how gorgeous every change in costuming is.
A tangential note is I've seen people mention (paraphrasing very much here) ZYZ's demon form being nicely subtle in its eerie inhumanity and tbh I have a similar feeling even just about human adult ZYC imo. Especially when his hair is down and he's got that thick eyeliner on and we get a close up of his contacts, if you told me from the start that he's half-demon half-human or something I'd believe it. Along the same vein, baby!Yichen reads completely human to me, and Bingyi of course completely demon. Something something the Cloud Light Sword bridges the gap something. This point is unintelligible and not narratively based but I had to make it because I've been thinking "wow ZYC elven" for days now.
Saw a tag about yuanyi getting us through some dark times but man they are PUTTING me through some dark times rn help?/
Been trying to put off talking about the baby Yichen scenes because wow I cried immediately. Well, no, I was like "yay! I love seeing baby Yichen!" and then they crushed me into demon dust lol. And then WX had to tell that absolutely precious story about when she got sick and ZYZ had to go like "actually ZYC was probably lonely as fuck" and yeah that's fine I didn't need my heart anyway.
Ending on this point so I can put a pretty screencap here: There is so much gravity to just the short scene of Bingyi removing his mask and dropping to his knees with that anguished and fatigued expression. TJR's acting is the gift that keeps on giving (me angst).
so sorry if anything here didn't make sense, i currently have the same thousand-mile-stare as Bingyi the more i think about how this all might end and how long I'm gonna have to wait to find out.
#fangs of fortune spoilers#fangs of fortune#sorry this is late!#i started writing this after i watched the ep this morning but then i spent the whole day showing my partner the first six eps#zhuo yichen#tian jiarui#episode commentary#meta
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i cannot even describe to you guys how roier picking that song for qroier completely rewired my brain because it is so so painfully accurate to qroier in that moment
like lets break down the lyrics okay?
“i miss you more than ever and i don’t know what to do. i wake up and i remember you at sunrise. i wait another day to live without you. the mirror doesnt lie, i look so different. i’m missing you.”
already off the top wow. we immediately understand what qroier is feeling and i think the mirror line really hits because obviously he was looking like a fucking mess without cellbit so its all very accurate. also i cannot translate that last line “me haces falta tú” that really conveys the longing and sadness it signifies. its missing someone but in the way of saying like you’re missing them as a part of your life to live or as a piece of you like you’re missing them so you’re struggling to function.
“people come and go its always the same. the rhythm of life seems wrong. it was so different when you were here. yes, it was so different when you were here.”
people come and go reminds me of qroier talking about the eggs and the other islanders. people come and go But you were different. without cellbit everything is just wrong for qroier.
“there is nothing more difficult then living without you. im suffering in the wait of watching you return. the chills of my body ask for you. and i dont know where you are. if you hadn’t left me, i’d be so happy.”
i mean perhaps the most devastating part which isnt surprising as its the chorus which he repeats. i cannot put into words how life changing of a pick this song was for a cubito? for qroier? for mcrp of a queer relationship? THERE IS NOTHING MORE DIFFICULT THEN LIVING WITHOUT YOU? immediately we understand again what qroier is feeling hes very bluntly telling us. thats what makes doied saying he was fine without cellbit even more gut wrenching because cellbit never understood how fucking broken and unfunctional roier was without him. he struggled to fucking live. IM SUFFERING IN THE WAIT OF WATCHING YOU RETURN? every day cellbit was gone for roier it felt like hell. which is devastating cause as we know cellbit was under the perception that roier could finally be happy without him meanwhile roier is barely making it through the day having to take care of a new kid with reminders everywhere of his husband that left him behind. he is anything but happy. THE CHILLS OF MY BODY ASK FOR YOU? screaming. he misses his touch he yearns for his body warmth. do you think when he laid in their bed at the castle it felt as cold as ice? do you think he clung to cellbits side of the bed hoping to feel even just a fraction of the warmth and comfort he felt sleeping by cellbits side months prior? much to think about. AND I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? he’s again searching for him so desperately we saw the attempts qroier was trying his fucking best cause he made a promise to his husband and it was interrupted sadly. but i think the line of just saying i dont know where you are makes the song and the moment even sadder. all this talk of suffering without a person and you dont even know where they are right now. very accurate for qroier! IF YOU HADNT LEFT ME I’D BE SO HAPPY? no words just no words. you can suffer in agony with me in this one. think about it for a second and cry. no words.
does anyone ever think of spiderbit and how in love qroier was
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I Wanted To Do It Because They Took Me Away From You
(Part 1 of Adventures of the Batfamily)
Bruce Wayne POV
“Damian’s gonna stay here since he’s still feeling under the weather,” Dick says as Bruce comes out of his office for patrol.
“Sounds like a good decision,” Bruce replies.
“Also, come say hi to Tim.”
Bruce walks over to Dick, who holds his phone out. “Hello, Tim.”
“Hi, Bruce. I heard that the Demon Spawn can actually get sick.”
“He’s had a cold pretty much since you left,” Bruce says. “And be nice.”
“Eh…”
Dick laughs. “They mean it lovingly when they call each other mean names.”
Bruce sighs.
“I’ll try to talk them into being more civil,” Dick whispers.
Bruce nods. “Thank you. Tim, how is the mission going?”
“Fine. We’re almost done. Just another day or two and I should be back home with everyone else,” Tim answers. “I’ve missed you guys, even Damian.”
“That’s what happens when you live with a bunch of people and then go somewhere else for over a week,” Dick replies. “I’ve had it happen a lot of times.”
“I’m gonna head out on patrol. You two behave and make sure you check on Damian while I’m gone, Dick.”
“I will. He’s mostly over it so he should be fine in the morning.”
“I know, just make sure that he gets some rest and doesn’t spend all night talking to his many animals.”
“I will.”
Bruce wakes up with a sick feeling in his stomach. He opens his eyes and everything around him is blurry.
“Wakey wakey, Batsy.”
The Joker appears in front of Bruce and he tries to back up, only to find himself stuck where he is. Another Joker appears next to the first one.
“Wow, that really did a number on you, Bats. I can’t even tell if you know what’s going on.”
Bruce tastes metallic, then spits blood onto the floor. He doesn’t feel injured, but the taste is still in his mouth and he can see the blood clearly.
“Oooo, so high, Batsy.”
Bruce’s eyes force themselves closed, like there’s some kind of weight on his eyelids.
Twelve year old Jason jumps out from behind the Batcomputer. “Boo!”
“Nice try, Jason,” Bruce says, holding a mug of coffee. He takes a sip as Jason starts pouting.
“You’re impossible to surprise,” Jason says.
“Not true. You’ll just have to pay close attention,” Bruce replies.
“Dick has managed to surprise me in this cave twice.”
“I gotta ask him how he did that. He’s so cool.”
Bruce smiles and shakes his head. Jason’s eyes are bright as he jumps around in his costume, preparing to fight crime.
Bruce opens his eyes to see Dick across from him, tied up in his Nightwing costume.
“Two caught, one to go,” Joker’s voice says, even though he’s nowhere to be seen.
Dick looks worse for wear. Bruce can see that most of his face is bruised even though his head is down and his arm is in a position unnatural for an arm to be.
“Nightwing,” Bruce says.
He doesn’t say anything or pick his head up. Joker walks back in and throws Damian on the floor in front of him.
“Got them,” Joker says. “Now you can all die together as the happy family you claim to be, on the anniversary of the worst day of your life. We miss baby Jay-bird, don’t we?”
Dick Grayson POV
“Please tell me you’ve got something,” Nightwing says as he and Damian take a break on a rooftop. “We’ve been looking for almost twelve hours and there’s no sign of the Joker.”
“Well I’d love to tell you good news, hot stuff, but I don’t have any.”
Damian groans and turns his comm off. Dick rolls his eyes where Damian can see it.
A moment of silence.
“You alright, Oracle?”
“Hold on,” Barbara says.
“Hold on?” Dick asks.
Damian switches his comm back on.
“The computer finally figured out where he is, but I don’t know that you’ll get there in time.”
“Where is it?” Dick asks.
She rattles off a location and how to get there.
“I can do it. Come on, Damian. We’re never telling Batman how fast I’m about to drive with you in the car with me.”
“Go speed racer,” Damian says as they head towards the Batmobile.
They get to the Batmobile and Dick starts racing towards the warehouse. “Keep watching the feed for me,” Dick says to Damian.
Damian pulls his phone out and turns on the news. “Twenty minutes until the timer goes off.”
“We can get there in twenty minutes,” Dick says hesitantly.
“You don’t sound sure,” Damian points out.
“I’m sure,” Dick replies, hiding his concern behind a quick smile.
Damian nods, clearly unconvinced. Gordon calls so Dick puts the video in the corner of the screen towards Damian.
“We got an anonymous tip on where Batman is,” Gordon says. “We’ve got officers already on the way and I was supposed to contact you earlier, but got busy.”
“No need to worry. We know where he is and we’re on the way.”
“That’s good.”
“How close are the officers?” Dick asks.
“About fifteen minutes out,” Gordon answers.
“We’ll meet them there but they are not allowed to go in without us. Joker will kill them without hesitation if he finds them.”
“I know the rules. I’ve already alerted them that they can’t go in without you guys until the timer hits five minutes. If it hits that point and you guys aren’t there, they’re gonna go in without you.”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way,” Dick replies. “Bye, Gordon.”
He hangs up and picks up speed once he gets on a straight road.
“Weee,” Damian says sarcastically.
Dick shakes his head, but laughs for a moment.
Jason Todd POV
Jason turns on the TV and sees Joker on the screen with a bloody and beaten Batman.
“One hour left until The Batman dies,” Joker says. “Nightwing and Robin are nowhere to be seen and if they’re not quick about it, they’ll get to watch just like everyone else.”
Jason recognizes the room Batman’s being held in. It’s from the “Funhouse”. Jason doesn’t grab his helmet or take any of his normal tools with him. He grabs one of his pistols off of the table and runs to his motorcycle.
After securing the pistol in its holster, he speeds towards the warehouse. He weaves through traffic with expert ease and makes it to the Joker’s “Funhouse” in record time. He walks into the warehouse, memories of his brutal beating at the hands of the Joker flashing before his eyes making it hard to concentrate on the task at hand.
He searches each room until he finds Joker, laughing as he’s telling the camera that there’s only one minute left until Batman gets executed. The method of execution is something else. A cannon-like contraption that’s got smiles and laughs painted on the sides, but instead of a cannonball it has five knives inside of the barrel. Jason grabs the knife out of his pocket and cuts the wires to the camera as Joker pokes Batman’s face while taunting him.
“You’ll have the same death day as your son,” Joker whispers. “A fitting end, if you ask me.”
It takes a moment, but Joker hears the camera feed in the corner of the room cut so he turns in that direction. Jason runs towards him and kicks him into the wall.
“Five… Four…”
Jason looks around the room to see the timer on the cannon still running. One thought crosses his mind as he makes eye contact with Bruce, who looks like a light breeze could take him out.
Joker won’t take anything else if I can help it.
He runs towards Bruce as the timer keeps counting down.
“Three… Two… One…”
Jason grabs at his chest, where the knives found home after being shot from the cannon. Joker, who’s getting up after being kicked into the wall looks shocked, then angry. Jason’s vision blurs, then stumbles back. Joker starts raging and throwing things around.
“I killed you! You’re supposed to be dead!” Joker shouts. “How are you still alive?”
Jason flips Joker off. “I’m just that awesome, shithead,” he chokes out.
Police sirens can be heard, so Jason pops three shots off at Joker. One manages to find home in his arm, so he tucks tail and runs. Jason takes one of the knives out of his chest and cuts Bruce free, then falls onto his back.
Bruce shakily gets on the ground. “Jason?”
“Heh, I cut the camera feeds so you can feel free to pass out until the police show up with Bluebird and your new brat,” Jason says.
“How are you alive?” Bruce asks.
“Ra’s woke me up.”
“What…?”
“I had this grand plan to take control of Gotham’s underworld and kill the Joker. I know your stupid rule of no killing, but just him. I wanted to do it because he took me away from you.”
“Jason, you’re gonna be fine. You can’t die again.”
“You’re acting fairly normal for a man so high off his ass that he couldn’t untie a rope tied like a child tied it.”
Bruce’s breathing gets heavier and faster, so Jason slaps him. It’s weak by all standards, but it does the trick. Bruce comes back to reality and starts checking Jason’s condition.
“Stop it, old man. I guess this is how it should have ended. Dying to protect my family, I like that. I still hate you for replacing me and leaving that scumbag alive, but at least nobody has to lose their dad today.”
Jason turns his head to the side, then starts coughing up blood.
“Father!” a voice calls from somewhere else in the base.
“Damian,” Bruce mumbles, then turns in the direction of the door.
“I hope you don’t remember this when you wake up,” Jason says.
Bruce turns back towards Jason and he slams the butt of his gun into Bruce’s forehead. Bruce blacks out almost instantly and crumples into a heap.
Bruce Wayne POV
Bruce wakes up to the sound of a heartbeat monitor. Steady heartbeat, and someone is holding his hands. He opens his eyes and he’s surrounded by his children. Dick, Tim, and Damian are all sitting in the room around his bed. Dick and Damian have a hold of his hands while Tim’s sitting at the foot of the bed with a book in hand. All of them are asleep in various uncomfortable looking positions. Damian blinks his eyes open and stares at Bruce for a minute before seeming to fully wake up.
“Father!” Damian lets go of his hand so he could use both hands to reposition.
Bruce ruffles Damian’s hair, which he accepts with a small huff. It only takes a minute for the other two to wake up thanks to Damian’s ruckus.
“How long was I out?” Bruce asks.
“Almost thirty-six hours,” Dick answers after a quick glance at his watch.
“It took you so long that Drake was able to come back from his mission,” Damian adds.
“What happened to Jay?” Bruce asks. Dick stiffens up while Tim and Damian look confused.
“Who?” Damian asks.
Recognition crosses Tim’s face, then it turns to confusion. “What do you mean?”
“He was there. He got me out.”
“Jason wasn’t there, Bruce,” Dick says quietly. “You were the only person there and the feed cut suddenly, so we figured you got yourself out. You were pretty high, so you can’t really trust anything you saw.”
Bruce furrows his brows, but only acknowledges the statement with a nod. The subject changes to his recovery, which will take a couple weeks so says Dr. Thompkins. Bruce doesn’t say much, letting his kids do the talking. Tim tells him all about the mission he was on and how well it went, while Dick and Damian talk about adding trackers into the suits so they can keep up with each other.
Everyone quiets back down after a while and eventually falls asleep, so Bruce is left alone with his thoughts. Thoughts about the fact that there should be a fourth kid here with him and there isn’t. That Jason would be here with his brothers if Bruce hadn’t been so reckless and careless.
Jason POV
Jason stumbles into his base and people start rushing towards him.
“Boss, what happened?” one asks.
They take him to the clinic down the road and the doctor treats his wounds. Once the doctor clears him to leave, he heads back to base. Everyone’s waiting, and looks concerned.
“How are you planning on protecting us from the Bat like that?” one asks.
“Bat’s gonna be out for a while,” Jason replies. “He’s being replaced by Nightwing, and I’m pretty sure that you guys can handle the week that I’ll be out.”
“A week?” another one cuts in. “You look like you’ll be out for at least a month.”
“I heal fast,” Jason says. “I’ll be back to working in no time. I’m thinking that we change our tactics a little while waiting for the Bat to come back. I want things to be a little more discreet. Give the heroes a false sense of security.”
He explains the plan to them and they all seem pleased with it.
“Someone keep tabs on whatever you can find about the Joker while I’m out,” Jason says.
He heads back to his tiny apartment and crashes.
#batman#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#barbara gordon#whump#angst#emotional angst#feels#red hood#nightwing#dc robin#dc joker#dickbabs#whump writing
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I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?
Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate
-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)
-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.
-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.
Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.
-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.
But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')
In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.
All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.
-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?
-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.
I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.
WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.
And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.
Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.
#Sorry this turned into a 100000 word essay on The Iliad it can't be helped#I read Circe by the same author and thought it was like.. better? Definitely not great just less aggravating and kind of boring#Just rote 'you heard about this villainous woman from a Greek myth... Here's the REAL story' shit#It did have a few things I thought were good I remember it starting kind of strong and then just going limp for the remaining duration#I think part of it is that in that case she's expanding on a figure that Didn't have a whole lot of characterization in the source so#like. She had to actually Expand The Character#Again Silence of the Girls is the only Greek Mythology Retelling I have like....positive?.leaning positive? feelings towards#I've got BIG issues with it too but it does pretty much the exact opposite of everything I'm mad at SOA for and in some very#compelling ways (it's just that the author seems way more interested in Achilles and Patroclus than The Main Character Briseis#to the point of randomly starting to have Achilles POV interjections (which I thought were Good in of themselves but#really really really really really really really didn't need to be there) and then get kind of lampshaded by Briseis narrating 'I guess I#was trapped in Achilles' story the whole time lol!!!!!!')#It undermines the book on both a thematic level and just like. a construction level like it's real sloppy at times.#Also the Briseis POV sometimes has these like really out of place Author Mouthpiece Moments where she's very obviously#Stating The Point to the audience and it's like yeah we get it. We get it.#Wow in the scene were our mostly silent enslaved protagonist removes the gag from the mouth of a dead sacrificed girl as a#small but significant act of defiance and grieving in a book called 'Silence of the Girls' you inserted an ironic repeat of the line#'silence befits a woman'. in italics even. Thanks for that. I could not possibly have grasped the meaning of this scene if you didn't#spell it out for me like that. Thank you.#Actually hang on the only Greek mythology retelling I have unequivocally positive feelings for are the 'Minotaur Forgiving'#songs on 'This One's For The Dancer And This One's For The Dancer's Bouquet'. Fully love it. Like not just as songs I think it#does function well as a narrative and engages with and expands on the source in really beautiful and creative ways
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just finished s5 of twd... can someone just tell me what happened?
like i enjoy the show bc its kinda easy to have in the bg... but also like i find (other than the prison x woodbury arc) there is rarely any like... plot...
#no hate to the show#its just sometimes hard to really see where everything is going#i get that its showing how ppl would live in an apocalypse but also its a tv show and should have a plot through seasons and series yknow?#like not to compare it to my pookie tlou...#but like they had a clear goal / objective pretty much the whole time (get ellie to the fireflies/find tommy)#this one its like wow we found a town and here is some random political drama#like sure but for a whole season??#like prison/woodbury slayed bc there was a clear antagonist and plotlines#idk if im being too picky...#wildlywatches <3#wildlywatches <3 the walking dead#the walking dead#twd#also the random sickness during prison arc just for that never to be brought up again#i thought it wouldve been so cool to have like super-zombies or smth
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Btw I’m actually a little behind on the pjo series so I’m only on like. Episode 5. But I’m getting to the end of it and I just wanna say I love Annabeth so much I love her and I love Leah Sava Jeffries they’re both incredible
#chatter#pjo tv show#pjo series#annabeth chase#riordanverse#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#leah sava jeffries#shes an adorable little girl and a pretty great actress!!#it’s just like. like wow. look at her go! look at her grow!!#kinda spoilers here so look away if you don’t want them but like. it’s only episode five. it’s the very first adventure they have together#we all know how annabeth and percy and grover grow throughout the whole series and everything but this is still the very first one.#the start of all their adventures and all their changes and all their growing#and it’s like. maybe more towards the middle of the quest now? i can’t remember fully#but they’ve only known each other such a short while and already he’s inspiring her#and shes outright saying it!! outright shes saying that his belief in fairness and belief in thinking they can and should be better#has made her realize the same!! that families shouldn’t treat each other so terribly! that parents shouldn’t be neglectful!#that the prices they’re forced to pay shouldn’t exist at all!!#idk how to word it really. but i love how even if percy is a pessimist. even if he’s cynical. it’s because he knows things SHOULD be better#and how he’s able to make everyone around him see how much better it can be too#and annabeth. who was one of athenas favorites. who ran away at such a little age that the way these things are is#the only thing shes ever really known. is able to hear what he says and realize he’s right. is able to say no. no more i agree with him.#like. shes sorta the golden child in a way because she gets attention and her little hat and everything.#shes one of the favorites. and shes willing to give it all away!! shes willing to say no!!#shes willing to give up that favored status for saying that it should be the standard! the bare minimum!#anyway. im sleepy and i wanted to say annabeth chase is such an amazing character. i love her.
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*shows up to the finale a day late with take out*
WOW was this. a ride. i went through. SO MANY EMOTIONS and also that boss fight was *oof* it took me a few tries though not as many tries as magical girl transformation jaania
but!!! just!!! the mage trio!!! who we have to leave behind!!! who is depending on us to get them out of there!!! aequillibria and everything it entails!!! i'll be glad to slow down with dragonfable for a bit now that i've caught up (except for everything with roirr and the first weaver stuff i didn't actually. get to that. but i will. i have Theories about what exactly happened there given it's placement in the timeline or rather, what the consequences of it were (aka i think i know what broke the magesterium or at least who broke the magesterium)), but i'm also super excited for what may come next!!!
we've got all these new tiny fissures, we've got the rift still open in the deadlands, we've got aequllibria to figure out, there's of course several open-ended side stories that still need closure like the fear saga and six heroes... and there's so much more of lore to discover! obviously there's more of the continent across the sea, but what about the lands to the south? the other side of the world where uaanta and notha come from! so many possibilities!!
but also the finale itself was so satisfying. it tied up some more threads, left other stuff open for the epilogue and for the future book 4, made me cry over the mage trio and then made me lose my mind over cysero and his big red (reset???) button (dragonfable devs please you can't keep doing stuff like this to us you've put so many mechquest references in book 3 we're gonna lose it (i still actually have to. play through mech quest. hopefully in a more sedate manner than i have torn through dragonfable). duality of video game, tonal whiplash my beloved
...i don't know where i was going with this but in conclusion i love this game and i'm still having emotions about everything
just. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#dragonfable#dragonfable spoilers#i can confidently put that tag now lol this is recent release stuff and not stuff from last year#the finale!!!#the mage trio!!!#the magesters!!!#i was not expecting to like ostromir as much as i do now but honestly he has a great character arc#moving on#alteon!!! very interesting that he's opting to go with the magesterium#also i hope amadeus made it back to lynn okay#i wonder how nythera and lynn are gonna split alexander's things#(yes i know they aren't dead but he made the joke first)#also like#i'm still mad at jaania for. everything.#but i think getting trapped in what is basically a Time Out Bubble with her two former friends is a good enough punishment#hopefully the three of them have a good long talk and certain parties get some much needed self reflection#anyways can't wait for them to be freed so we can get more Villain Rehab Tower shenanigans#hm. i hope next book we also get more amityvale and safiria.#more everyone really#so many side characters we barely saw in book 3#and some we didn't see at all!#how is vayle doing#oh wow i have#rambled in these tags a lot#anyways uhhh here's to more of everyone in book 4#and here's to more enjoyment of dragonfable in the years to come!!
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had such a good experience with surgery today i can’t even fully explain
#🍄.txt#i’m so happy that fuck ass doctor referred me to another doctor in the building because he was so nice and attentive#taking the time to explain things to me and make sure i was good#even said oh well if ur really uncomfortable we can always go to the operating room! :)#when the other doctor treated me like a nuisance the whole time and like some dumb child#well if you can’t sit still they’re going to have to put you under elsewhere 🙄#I DIDNT EVEN FUCKING KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT IN THE BUILDING? SHE MADE IT SEEM LIKE I WAS INCONVENIENCING HER THE WHOLE TIME#i was asking a bunch of questions because knowing makes me feel less nervous and he answered everything so clearly even when my mom was#asking questions too#recommending me different medications to keep this from happening again etc etc etc#so fucking bare minimum for a doctor but it was so nice seriously i wish i could thank him again for making it a more#comfortable experience#he put numbing shots on the inside AND outside of my lid just in case we needed to go from the outside this time#and while it hurt obviously it was so much better than the single shot she gave me the first time three weeks ago#she told me this would be a much more extensive surgery and here i am with my eyelid barely swollen 😐#i could barely see with it open three weeks ago immediately after because it hurt too much and was so swollen#what the fuck how do you have such contrasting experiences with two people who literally work together in the same building#anyway bad doctor experiences are always so fucking bad but when you have a really good experience it just feels crazy and insane#like wow thank u for treating me like a person#did i mention i actually left with care instructions this time written out. and the medicine recommendations on a physical piece of paper#i didn’t even get that after surgery with her how is that not below bare minimum#like this actually surprised me. jesus christ
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost
#avil plays hi3#tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This.#yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17#i. :(#the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :(#ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart#BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI#BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA#AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER#MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE#tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3.#kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but#now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because#'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS'#also idk i was thinking about it too#mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time#and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option#IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING)#sprawls on the ground#at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that#and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag#can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else)#idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people....#but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other#okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL#MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it#but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying
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also marble hornets fun fact #92 like it's fun that for once the neurotypical agenda accidentally got a win: when in that s1 "interview" episode apparently there was no particular plan to have tim be a recurring character before a strong audience response of speculation that there must be something more going on with this guy because his fidgeting with a notebook all throughout the video was indication of Liar's Anxiety or whatever; in reality tim sutton was not making any acting choice (to serve then-nonexistent writing) but was spontaneously being someone often fidgeting with paper. then call that unfolding developments
#i don't know much about how s2 / 3 were written save that even as s1 was most fully like fly by the seat of their pants#and obviously not really having chronology / plot focus until even a ways into it#they still did not like have everything nailed down as a story going into s2 or anything like that / were writing Along The Way#though regarding ''no way in the initial decision to have tim Recur did they go 'he will eventually be our protagonist'''#i do think i remember their saying that jay dying was like something decided on relatively early. for [every reason] lmao#just not great at this....it's Just like winston billions in here except also the opposite of that#[one-off character is easily read as just existing a bit nd style; chilling] oh you mean their Malicious Nature?#however though i similarly think the logic / payoff according to their own setup would have been wendy exploding into atoms#they were definitely Not interested in swapping out who gets to be leading this thing no matter what. unto the end#then shoutout to actor tim organically tripping in his Next first appearance but to superior effect lol#wow it's just like that one clip from that one movie. lol that i could actually find it but I Dunno About That Video Title Abbreviation#marble hornets#anyways point is it was Just organic fidgeting b/c of that being something someone does#and then Suspicion that that Must mean he's got Secrets was what was like oh maybe we gotta bring this guy into it lol#and that at first indeed it was maybe like Simply Sinister Secrets but then it's like well he's the main character now. enjoy#and that one guy is tim sutton's dad cameo we gotta get one of those#and in both cases;
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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a c in english and a c- in spanish. yeah. well, that's not normal for you. if you say so.
STRANGER THINGS — 4.01: the hellfire club
#m#gifs#long post#this post is literally too long but u know what. don't care. didn't ask.#anyway. in the hot version of st that lives in my mind where billy survives#we get like. a parallel type of cut scene here. with max in her school mandated counseling session#then billy in his hospital mandated therapy session#and it cuts between them both#max fidgeting with her headphones. billy tearing what's left of his nails apart.#both being unable to sit still.#them both being stubburn and holding every single fucking emotion so deep inside that they know it'll never see the light of day#both their answers mirroring each other even when they're like. fucking miles apart and have barely spoke since everything happened#like they've seen each other. max basically lives at the hospital. but billy's throats fucked. and max isn't really the chatty type#and they honestly don't even know what to say to each other#so max just sits. reads comics. listens to music. and billy just lies there. prays for death. prays to visit the fucking ocean again.#and they don't talk. but they're there for each other and they Get It in the only way they know how#OR. the au where neil was possessed and both him and susan die#billy and max having to go to see the councelor. fuckin family counseling sessions. or seperate i guess#is billy still in school? i dont actually understand american ages and schooling it has to be said#but like. councelor kelley just being like. wow. they sure are siblings.#okay but if he's not in school then like. court mandated therapy sessions for legal guadian custody of max idk#i just think i would like to see the parallels that couldve been. but like.#sadie sink i owe you my life for making season four have some good scenes and i would die for u#maxmayfieldedit#max mayfield#anyway again this is not the scene i set out to gif. just made like 30 gifs of a scene i didnt even intend on giffing. fuck me
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