#wow this got really dark but I like it

[sonicsquid3000]

Broken Wings: A Broken Mind

Heeeeeyyyyyyyyy, guess whhhhaaaattt. I just finished writing the first fanfic of the broken wings au after I just said it would take awhile lol. I was lost on what to do for the start of this au and had no idea how to set things in motion UNTIL i finished reading chapter 12. When I finished reading it I was like "MC sees a horrible murder and is spiraling in feelings of not only herself, her morals, but also her soon to be lover?! Oh yeah. It's all coming together." So, with inspiration and stuck with the feelings of how my MC (Belle) is going through, i grabbed my laptop and started binge writing all the way into one in the morning. So, naturally, it's gonna be really messy. But hopefully it's mostly messy where it needs to be messy. Same warnings as before, things can and will be inaccurate to the timeline so take it as a part of the au. This fanfic will be using my mc and fair warning. This fanfic does delve into some heavy mental health stuff so if you are sensitive about that kinda of stuff like mental breackdowns and such, do not read this fanfic. I also will be editting this periodically when I'm awake and not sleep deprived and can actual proof read my work so don't feel afraid to come back and read this. With that being said, Lets get into the fanfic.

There was so much going on. Belle couldn't make sense of the madness. Her mind was stained with the sight of blood, blinding her from what was going on around her. Her chest felt heavy. She could barely breath. She hear screaming and crying and........ Oh. It was her. She was the one screaming and crying. Her head hurt. Like someone was pulling her hair. Was she doing that? It got to much. She couldn't make sense of anything, she couldn't breath, she couldn't.... She collapsed, William catching her swiftly. He order Elbert to carry her back to the castle. She slept in his arms, though it was far from a peaceful sleep. In her sleep, she was piecing together what happened.

They went to kill the marquis who not only ran an illegal drug laboratory, but was also the one who reawakened the Golden Butterflies. It felt like it was all a trap but William had him right where he wanted him. He used his powers and froze everyone in the room, Belle included by accident. She watched as he taunted the marquis and called out all of his wicked deeds. She was furious at the marquis for all he had done, and she felt something she never thought she would feel. She wanted him dead. She wanted to see him wither and suffer for everything he had done. She even wanted to do it herself. She didn't want this and was screaming at herself in her mind, but it did silence the loud hatred. She was in shock when the deed was done. The voices were still screaming in her head. But when William mentioned the marquis's family was still in the mansion, she snapped and began screaming and crying. Conflicted by how she felt about herself, about William, about what happened, about what she believed, about everything. She was going mad.

She woke up the next morning, only feeling worse. She felt numb everywhere. Her mind, her body, her soul. The voices were still raging in her head but she couldn't listen to them. It hurt too much. She wouldn't get out of bed. She felt to weak and didn't want to talk to anyone. Whenever someone went to knock on the door and tried to talk to her through it, she remained quiet. She even refused to eat, even when they offered to take breakfast in her room. Everyone became worried about her. This wasn't like her.

"Is she even still alive?" Harrison asked. "I can still hear her breathing, so she's not dead" Roger confirmed. "Poor Belle, other than when she first came here, this is the first murder she truly witnessed." Liam sympathized though his tone sounded more like she just got rejected rather than she just saw some die. "Ugh. I swear she's being so dramatic. She already saw someone die and she knew what we were doing. I don't understand why she's so-" Before Jude could continue, William shot him a look that chilled even his spine. "N-never mind..." He muttered. They've never seen him this angry. Not even when he kills someone he despises. "Well, someone needs to go in there and talk to." Harrison said. "I agree." Ellis said. "I'd hate to see her so miserable." "Who would even go in there? She refuses to talk to any of us. Who would she-?" Elbert was interrupted. "I'll do it." volunteered William. "What?!" everyone exclaimed. Alfons interjected. "William, with all due respect, I don't think-." "Brilliant idea! William, you will go talk to Belle and make sure she's all right." Victor instructed. Everyone wanted to object, but they could how much William cared about her and how close they have gotten. And so they agreed.

Belle laid on her bed, under the covers, completely disheveled. She looked and felt like a complete mess. It felt like her mind was going to brake. Suddenly she heard a knock. "Belle, it's William." She froze. "May I come in?" he asked. She didn't know what to think. Her mind was running a thousand miles a second. She couldn't tell if she hated him, admired him, feared him or loved him. Her mind was so confused which worsened the madness she was in. She heard the door open as it was unlocked. When the footsteps grew closer, she looked up and saw him standing there with that gentle smile he always had. It was cruel. She tensed up, yet at the same time softened when she saw him. She didn't know what to think of him or any of this, but deep down she just wanted him by her side. She didn't want to be alone.

"My dear, tell me. What troubles you?" he asked. She looked away from him. She knew if she kept looking into his beautiful eyes she would fall apart. She remained silent. William gently cupped her face and directed her to face him. "Belle. I know you're in shock of last night. I'm sure there are a thousand things running through your mind. I thought we got rid of that little habit of hiding how you feel. It's not healthy for you to be trapped with all of these thoughts in your mind. Please Belle, say what you're thinking. I want to hear my little robins beautiful voice." he comforted. ".....I-I..........I........" Belle tried to say something. Anything. But any words there were to say were stuck. she felt a well of emotions fill from her inside and all she could do was cry. She began to cry so hard it felt like a plea. She instinctively threw herself onto him. He gladly held her tight and let her cry into his shoulder. He soothed and caressed her back as she began to cry harder.

"And here I thought you might finally hate-" "DON'T! Just...... don't say.... anything like that. Not right now." she whispered her plea to him. He smiled. "There's my robins lovely voice. Oh how sad is the that song you sing. It breaks my heart." William cooed. Belle sniffled, her breath hitched as she tried so hard to get air in her lungs from all of her crying. "I... I don't know where to begin. What to think anymore." She cried. "Oh Belle-" "I wanted him dead." William stopped. "I wanted him dead so bad. I wanted to kill him! I.... I felt horrible. I was horrible!" She sobbed. "Belle, don't" "And then his family! His poor family! They lost a father and a husband! How could I wish the death of someone with a family! I'm a monster! I-" "BELLE!" William shouted.

She became silent. "Belle, don't ever call yourself a monster. Don't even put yourself on the same level as me. You are not a monster and you never will be. Just because you wanted him dead does not make you a monster. You were angry and caught up in the moment. You're too good to call yourself a monster. I know you would never want to hurt anyone. It's not in your nature." He reassured her. Tears began to well up in her eye's as she began to sob again. There were still so many things running through her mind but she right now, she just needed to feel his warmth. Before William could start soothing her, she lunged at him and started kissing him madly. He kissed her back. He tried to kiss slowly and gently, but her kisses were too vigorous. She didn't care if she was a mess or that her kisses were sloppy. She needed him. She was chasing after something, anything to fill the void in her. And he was it. he was always there for her, he always made her feel special and gave her a voice. He was even here in her lowest moment. she needed this.

"mmhh....... mmmhhh....... Belle" He sighed. "I love you." she said desperately. William froze and quickly broke off from the kiss. "What did you say?" he asked. "I love you. I'm so, madly in love with you. I need you." she said. William stayed quiet for a bit, looking at her sadly. "Belle, you're not thinking clearly." "I am! I mean it with every fiber in my body I love you. I've wanted you for so long. I can't stop thinking about you and I know you know it. You know everything about me. You're everything, you're the very air I breath! I've never felt like this for anyone ever. You're my world." she said desperately, like her life was on the line. " Belle, please. I know you don't mean that." "But I do! I mean every word of it. Victor told me you would try to deflect it or push me away from you but you don't have to worry. I know why you do it. You're afraid of hurting me but I'm not. I know you would never hurt me. And I know you feel the same way. I can feel it! and I know you can too." Belle seemed like she was going a hundred mile an hour. William stuttered. "Belle.... I..... I don't" she froze. "......What........... What do you mean you don't. You don't what" "I..... I don't love you."

With those four words something snapped in her. Her face went blank. "I only ever did those things because it was what you wanted. I knew you wanted to kiss and explore me and I wasn't going to stop you. I knew it made you happy. I knew you would-" he was interrupted. "So you don't love me." she said blankly. "I......" "You did all of those things with me yet you didn't love me?" she said. "I..........." "SAY IT!" Belle screamed. "....... no.............." The room was quiet. It felt so tense. The silence was broken by a soft chuckle from Belle. It began to turn into a soft laugh, and then it grew louder. And louder. And louder. Until the room was filled with her unhinged, maniacal laughter. Tear began to roll down her cheeks and she laughed uncontrollably. "Belle..." William reached out for her. The wind was knocked out of him as she tackled him and began to strangle him.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO IT THEN!" she screamed, never tightening her grip but still held it steady. "I gave you all of me! I gave you my love, my body, my soul, and what?! it was just some game?! WAS I A JOKE TO YOU?! THE END OF THE PUNCH LINE?!" William tried to reach out to her "Belle..." "JUST SHUT UP!" She swiftly grabbed the knife he gave her from her holster on her thigh and held it against him. "Well, 'King of Villains', I won't let you hurt me or anyone else again!" She held her knife above her, ready to attack. "...Will this make you feel better?" he said. "What?" she questioned him. All he did was smile. "If this is the day you finally judge me for my sins, I won't stop you. I'll gladly accept my fate." he smiled. Warm as ever. She screamed "ENOUGH!" she lunged her knife into him. He groaned and winced at the pain coursing through his........ arm. He felt drops of water falling on his face. She was crying. "... I can't.... I can't do it. I can't kill you." She cried as she slumped, getting off from him. "Belle-" "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I don't want to hear a single word that comes out from your mouth!" She yelled. "... I'm leaving. I don't care what Victor and anyone else has to say, I am leaving. and that's final." She said as she left the room, leaving William to bleed.

***

After some time of discussing things with Victor, he agreed to let Belle leave the Crown early than expected, free from harm. Harrison was even there to confirm the truth that she would not speak of the crown or they secrets with anyone. As she she finished packing up, William was by her door. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he felt as though it was better not to say anything to her. He was right. As she left the room, she gave him the coldest, cruelest, and most hateful gaze he had ever seen. It hurt him more than he thought. Especially to see it from his dearest robin. Who once wouldn't even dare to utter a bad word let alone look at someone with such hatred. A carriage was prepared at the front of the castle. As Belle was ready to step inside, she looked back and saw everyone. They all looked like they wanted to say something. To shout and wave "Goodbye! We'll miss you!" or give her they're own personal goodbye. But there was something disheartening in her eyes. Like all of the love and joy in her was drained. It was like she was a shell of her former self. And so they all remained silent. Belle stepped into carriage and road off into the distance. It was the last time they would ever see her again.

[keydekyie]

Beach Haunting

referenced from this beautiful photo by @pippindot

[grahamcarmen]

[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[copepods]

i think if i could do absolutely anything and not be harmed at all i would go find a really big tornado just an absolutely fuckhuge one and get sucked into that big guy. just rotate around at ridiculously high speeds for a while. it would fix me

[b4kuch1n]

dip pen ink comm batch 4 complete! for Ezechiel, @ohwwhuv, and Leo :]

[guzmaniacz]

ive peaked (made insert oc for xmen)

[sskk-manifesto]

MITCHELL AKUTAGAWA EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!

[mothslimes]

honestly do not get comfort characters any character is a discomfort character to me i look at them and get really uneasy and it physically hurts and i wanna hide in a cave curled around them like a dog for the rest of my life and never see sunlight again. is that a thought you guys find comforting?

[hauntingblue]

I don't know what to say... everyone got a happy ending except the people who actually wanted a real revolution and had a cause for it... but it's not like we had much of their opinions on this I guess... also no final lez sex scene... tragic

[skitskatdacat63]

I wish I could post some of my photography from today, but it's a bit too specific so I don't wanna dox myself shkfkgkg but ahhhh man I love taking pics whenever I go to the city 🥰

[broodygaming]

gods im so grateful i dont have a claustrophobic bone in my body this is awful on every objective scale haha

[averlym]

any chance you'd ever give us some blonde Anne content? (perhaps Parrlyn since Sydney has decided that Cathy is canonically queer coded)

<wheezes> she's WHAT

(yes. omg yes yes yes adding it to the list rn please?)

thank you anon

[no1ryomafan]

The subject of the getter manga spin offs came to my mind randomly today talking to some of my friends and I’ve been thinking about how IIRC the only major spin off manga to not be translated is High, aka the Mahjong one with a all girl team. The only other ones to follow are a manga made for the PS game and the “try to remember” manga that arma’s first 3 ep director made, but those are in a weird territory of spin off classification, at least compared to the others, but I also chalk up their lack of translations being their hard to find, especially because try to remember was considered lost media. (Until my friends randomly found it lol) But I’ve been wondering to myself something regarding that: While High simply could’ve never been translated because finding the proper scans could be hard, I feel another factor people gloss over it compared to the other spin offs is because there’s a absence of the OG getter team.

Because even though I talked about how Go team been not adapted properly in animes and the toei go show was likely overlooked because of that-to manga readers-I also note it is the only Getter show to NOT be fully subbed even though getting the footage doesn’t seem to be a issue. All the other getter manga spin offs feature the OG team in some capacity, most of them are their own tellings of getter so we get adaptations of the team. The only example I can think of that didn’t do this was Hien, but that had Hayato in it. Meanwhile High is a new getter team completely so people seem to turn an eye to it, even though the girl pilot is- very much clearly “Ryoma but gender bent” lol. (And I do know a handful of people who like her but not a TON)

I don’t wanna make bad assumptions about the fandom because it’s just more so how it goes, the first line of protagonist’s will ALWAYS be the most popular with there only ever being a few exceptions to this, but it is kinda a shame Getter falls victim of most of the fandom either liking Ryoma and/or Hayato the most-mainly Ryoma but I met plenty Hayato fans and y’all are insane /pos-and don’t really bother to bat a eye to the other characters which I just feel leads to these things getting neglected. And I’m- guilty of this but I’m trying to talk about the others more.

[worstloki]

nasty little bitch thor for touching his brother's skin

You just KNOW Thor’s dying for that skin contact. The thot probably wants to feel up his brothers hands indefinitely :/

[thepinkseashell]

-_-