#like once we were driving and there was a big thunderstorm. and once we got out of the storm i could see the storm clouds and the lightning- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

study-coffee-chicago · 4 years ago

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Overprotective (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

A/N: This was a request from an anon who wanted overprotective Jay and Will and angst and fluff! So, I hope I did your request justice!

Thanks for reading! Remember to like/reblog and comment! I love reading your comments because they put a smile on my face!

Thunderstorm (age 7)

It had been six months since your mom died. Jay was back from his second deployment and was now a police officer and Will was in New York for what you called doctor school. And your dad, well he was here in Chicago with you physically, but not mentally.

You whimpered as you hugged your teddy bear--whom you had affectionately named Officer Chuckles after you heard someone call Jay that at a picnic for police and their families--tight to your chest. The thunder was really loud and you swore it was shaking the house. And, to make matters worse, your dad wasn't here; he had left his seven-year-old daughter alone at home, during a thunderstorm, at 11:30 at night.

Your mom had loved thunderstorms and she'd always watch them as they rolled in. If it was morning, she'd sit and drink her coffee on the front porch while she watched them and listened to the rain drum down on the roof. If it was nighttime, she'd have something called wine, which she told you that you couldn't have until you were older, and do the same thing.

Because of this, every time there was a thunderstorm and your dad wasn't working, he'd always go to the cemetery to visit your mom. You didn't know what he did there. You just knew that every time there was a thunderstorm, you'd just be that much more scared.

Your mom used to comfort you when there was a thunderstorm; she'd tell you that the thunder was just a giant up in the sky bowling and that he just got a strike. But, your dad wouldn't really comfort you because he'd just leave. And, there was only so much Officer Chuckles and huddling in your blankets could do for you.

"We gotta call Jay," you whispered to your bear. "He'll know what to do."

So, you gripped Officer Chuckles in your little hand and then made your way into the kitchen. You jumped as more lightning and thunder cracked across the sky.

You flicked on the light and picked up the phone. You looked at the number on the fridge and carefully dialed it and then hit the "talk" button. Then, you listened to it ring while little whimpers of fear escaped your mouth.

"Dad? Why are you--" You jumped and a small scream came out. "Y/N? Kiddo, what are you doing up? It's late."

"I- I'm scared," you said quickly and ran back to your room with Officer Chuckles and the phone still in your hand and pressed up to your ear.

"Because of the thunder?" Jay asked gently.

"Uh-huh," you answered as you buried yourself back under your covers. "Daddy's not here and-and it's really loud."

"Dad's not there?"

"He went to see Mommy." You squeaked as more thunder came.

Jay cursed on the other end of the phone and hoped you didn't pick up on it. "Y/N, I will be there in ten minutes, okay? I just want you to stay in your room until I get there. Can you do that for me?"

"Uh-huh. But please come fast, Jay Jay. Me and Officer Chuckles are really scared."

"I'll come really, really fast. I promise. Now, I have to put down the phone so I can drive. But I promise I'll get there really fast. I love you."

"I love you, too, Jay Jay."

***

Jay cursed himself as he drove as fast as he could towards his childhood home. He didn't even speed, just tried to go the speed limit. But, it was downpouring so hard that he had to slow down so that he didn't hydroplane and get into a car accident. He didn't need that right now and you definitely didn't need that right now.

Jay walked up the front porch--forgetting his umbrella in his car because he was so focused on getting to you--and then found the spare key under the flower pot. The flower was fake; there's no way your dad could keep a plant alive.

"Y/N?" he called out as he slipped off his shoes once he was inside. "It's me. It's Jay Jay."

Thunder cracked across the sky and Jay swore under his breath and then took off running to your bedroom.

There, he found you huddled underneath your comforter clutching Officer Chuckles to your chest and resting your head against him. Your small night light was the only thing giving off light in your room.

"Y/N," he whispered, causing you to jump. "It's okay, it's just me. It's Jay," he said quickly and then flicked on your bedroom light.

Now that everything was bathed in light, you jumped out of bed without hesitating and held tightly onto Jay. "It's too loud! It's too loud!" you wailed as your fingers clutched the bottom of his shirt.

"I know, I know," he soothed and gently rubbed your back while you continued to cry. "But remember what Mom said? It's just a giant up in the sky bowling."

"Well, he needs to play a quieter game."

Jay laughed at that. "I mean, we could try to tell him that, but I don't think he'd listen since he's way bigger than us." You nodded in agreement. Jay crouched down in front of you, seeing as you had finally let go of him. "Y/N, can you grab me your most favorite backpack?"

"Why?" you asked, tilting your head to the side. "It's nighttime, not school time."

Jay smiled at your innocence. "I know. But, you're gonna come over to my house and we're gonna have a sleepover."

"Like we do on some weekends?"

"Just like that."

More thunder.

You grabbed onto Jay's hand. "You come with me to get my backpack in the living room?"

Jay nodded. "Of course."

Once you were back in your room, Jay started grabbing some clothes for you and you grabbed your favorite blanket and Officer Chuckles. Then, something dawned on you. You were always supposed to tell your daddy if you went somewhere.

"Will Daddy be mad?"

Jay turned away from your dresser and to look at you. "Why would he be mad, kiddo?"

"Because I'm not- I'm not telling him I'm having a sleepover with you."

"Oh, he knows."

"You talked to him?"

"I called him on the way here." Well, he sent him a strongly worded text message, but that was basically the same thing. All he needed to know was that you were coming to his house since you were scared of the storm (not to mention you were seven years old and you shouldn't be home alone in the first place). He hadn't answered the text yet, but at least he'd know where you were.

"Okay. Will you come with me to get my raincoat, too?"

Jay had just finished putting the last of a pair of clothes in your backpack. "I think we can grab that on our way out. Good thinking, kiddo."

He shouldered your little backpack and took your blanket from you so that it wouldn't drag on the wet ground when you walked outside. Then, you put on your rain boots and raincoat at the front door and clutched Officer Chuckles super tight and walked out to Jay's car, and started on your way to his apartment.

***

"Hold my hand when we walk through the parking lot, okay?" Jay said as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building.

"Okay."

He put the car in park and then turned it off and got out, quickly opening an umbrella he had stashed in his passenger seat. Then, he made his way over to your side of the car and helped you out and grabbed your backpack, and slung your blanket over his shoulders. You held tight to Officer Chuckles with one hand and held Jay's hand with the other while you two walked into his apartment building, the umbrella Jay was holding with his opposite hand shielding you from the rain.

Once you were inside, you handed Jay your raincoat and he hung it up on the rack because you couldn't reach it.

Jay started digging around in your backpack for the spare pair of pajamas that he had packed for you. "Okay, Y/N, why don't you go put on these nice comfy pajamas--"

"Because mine are kinda wet?" you asked and looked up at your big brother.

"Yes, because yours are kind of wet," Jay confirmed. "And then after, we can go to sleep, okay?"

Thunder cracked again and you jumped.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jay said and crouched down in front of you. "I promise you nothing bad will happen."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he confirmed with a nod of his head.

You turned to go change your clothes, and then remembered something. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course."

After you changed into dry pajamas, you put your dirty ones in your backpack and left the bathroom to see Jay sitting on the couch waiting for you. "Ready for bed?" he asked.

You yawned. "Uh-huh."

Jay glanced at the clock. It was nearing 12:30 am. There was no way you were going to go to school after six and a half hours of sleep. So, he had a plan. And that plan involved iHOP.

Once you got into bed, you tried to fall asleep, but you couldn't. Jay noticed this when you jumped at the thunder. So, he grabbed your little hand in his and squeezed. You then moved closer to him and buried your head in his chest. You knew you were safe from the thunder because your big brother was around and he was big and strong and would protect you from anything. So, you soon fell asleep after, ending your very long night.

***

You rubbed your eyes as you walked out of Jay's bedroom the next morning, Officer Chuckles in your hand dangling by your side.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Jay said.

You looked at the clock. 8:30. "Don't I gotta be at school?" you asked, scrunching up your eyebrows which Jay thought was the cutest thing ever.

"Not until after lunchtime," he told you. "You were up really late, so I wanted to let you sleep. And, so we can go out for breakfast."

"Really? Where?" you asked excitedly, almost dropping Officer Chuckles because you were absolutely buzzing with excitement.

"That is a surprise. Now, how about you go get dressed and brush your teeth and brush your hair, and then we can get going, okay?"

"Okay!"

Then, you scampered off and did just what Jay told you to do. You wanted to know what the surprise would be!

Once you were all done, you and Jay left, and on the ride to the place where you were going for breakfast, you kept asking where you'd be going. But, Jay just wouldn't let up. But, then you saw the big blue sign and knew exactly where you were headed.

"iHOP!" you exclaimed. "Smiley pancakes! Smiley pancakes!" You looked at Jay as he turned into the parking lot. "Can I get the smiley face pancakes? Please, Jay Jay?"

Jay smiled at your excitement. "Yes, you can get the smiley face pancakes."

"Yay!" you cheered.

After breakfast and going back to his apartment to get your school stuff that he had packed in your backpack last night, Jay brought you to school.

When he got back to his apartment, he started making phone calls and cashing in favors.

A month and a half later, Jay officially had guardianship of you.

***

Beach fight (age 14)

"It's so hot," you whined as you walked out of your room in the middle of summer and into the kitchen. You looked at Jay who was drinking coffee out of a mug. "I don't get how you can drink hot coffee. It's too hot out for that."

"You--" Jay took a sip of his coffee.--"are such a drama queen."

"But I'm a queen, so I'll take it."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Wonder where you got the quick comebacks from."

"Just a tall, red-headed doctor. Definitely not you."

"You're funny, kid. Real funny." Jay's phone buzzed. He furrowed his eyebrows. Then it buzzed again and he made eye contact with you and tilted his head to the side. "You texted Will about a beach day? And said that I said it was okay?"

"Uh-huh. You aren't the only Halstead sibling who can be sneaky you know."

"Normally, normally I'd be pissed. But, it's scorching out. So I'll give him a call. Go start getting ready and wear your swimsuit under your clothes so we don't have to change there."

"Yes! Thank you, Jay! Love you!" You gave him a quick hug.

"Yeah, yeah. You never love me more than when you get your way."

Then, you went off to your room to get changed.

***

"Will said he'd be right here," Jay muttered as he looked at his phone for the millionth time in ten minutes. Will and Jay had set up a spot to meet, but Will was running late.

Then, Will's familiar car pulled in and he parked. "Sorry I'm late," he started as he stepped out. "Had to pick up some groceries." He held up the six-pack of beer. "Can't have a beach day without alcohol."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Uh, yes, you can. And both of us are driving home." He turned to you. "Y/N, you're gonna have to make sure each of us only drinks two. I should be fine, but I don't know about him here."

"Hey!" Will exclaimed and then smacked Jay upside the head with his free hand.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed your beach chair and your drawstring bag with your towel and your book from Jay's truck. Jay grabbed the cooler, his bag, and his chair. Will grabbed his stuff and then the three of you were off.

***

You had waded in the water and read your book for a bit while Will and Jay chatted about some mutual cases they had come across while drinking their beer and eating snacks. You were snacking on your cheddar popcorn, (which Will had affectionately picked up a bag for you when he went to get beer because he knew it was your favorite) when you realized something: the boys had a drink other than water but you didn't.

You debated which brother would allow you to buy something from the coffee cart up by the entrance to the beach.

Will won.

"Will," you said sweetly and turned around to look at him.

"Uh oh," Jay said. "That's her I want something voice. Don't give in. Be strong."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yes, Y/N?"

"I was thinking--"

"It's worse than I thought!" Jay exclaimed. "She's thinking!"

You scowled at him and turned back to face Will. "I was thinking that since you two have something other than water to drink and I don't, could I maybe get something from the coffee cart? Please?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Dude! She's fourteen! She shouldn't be drinking caffeine...especially not at noon!" Jay protested.

"There's this thing called decaf coffee, Jay."

"There's this thing called decaf coffee, Jay," Jay mocked. "Shut up, Will."

Will rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I have to go to the bathroom, so I'll walk up with there with you and just give you money and meet you back there." He looked at Jay. "Are you okay with that? I know you hate when she's out of our sight in super crowded place like this," he asked Jay.

"I do not do that!" Jay argued. You and Will gave him a look. "Fine. Maybe I do. I just see a lot of stuff that I never want her to be involved in. Just, make sure you give Will his change back."

"I will," you said. After all, you were in a swimsuit, not that there were pockets there for you to stash your big brother's change like you normally did and then keep it for yourself.

You and Will made your way up the beach to the entrance where he handed you a ten-dollar bill and you two split up. He went straight to go to the bathrooms and you took a slight right to go to the coffee cart.

Will had said on the walk up not to wait for him and to just go back to Jay. So, you ordered your decaf iced mocha caramel latte, took the four dollars and something cents in change, got your latte, and started to walk back to Jay.

That was, you walked until you heard it.

A catcall.

You pretended you didn't hear it, that it was directed at someone else.

But then, "Babe with the coffee." You stopped walking. "I know you heard me. C'mon, show us that pretty face of yours."

Your eyes widened as you swallowed and your lip started to tremble. You knew you should just make a run for it, but you knew that in running in the sand with your hands full, that you'd just end up face planting and getting a mouth full of sand.

"Aw, c'mon baby. I've got friends, too. You don't like me, maybe you'll like them. We'll like you either way."

You wanted to smack yourself at what came out of your mouth next. You turned around. These guys were probably 23-25 year-olds and there were three of them. They were way taller than you and you knew that they'd easily be able to overpower you. But, you said the first thing that you thought would make them back off.

"I have a boy--". You cleared your throat. "I have a boyfriend."

"I don't see no boy." He turned to one of his friends. "Do you?" The other guy shook his head.

Where the fuck is Will?

"Take my money. Just, leave me alone."

You held the money out to the man, but instead of taking it, he grabbed your wrist instead. Hard.

You dropped your coffee, the plastic cup breaking in the sand and making the cold, sweet liquid form a puddle.

"How cute, boys. She's paying us, normally we'd be paying her!"

From down on the beach, Jay was watching from afar. He saw some guys walking towards you and at first, he assumed that they might've been older siblings of some kids you knew at school or something like that.

Then, he noticed your rigid posture and stood up.

He started walking toward you.

You held your hand out and the guy grabbed your wrist.

Jay started running.

"Just, let me go and we can pretend this never happened," you said, borrowing a line you had seen in movies multiple times...not that it ever worked in those, but maybe it'd work in real life.

"No can--"

"Hey!"

Oh, thank God for Jay.

"You the boyfriend?" he asked rhetorically. "She's gotta be sixteen then. How is she?"

"For your information, I'm the brother. And, it'd be in your best interest to let go," Jay growled.

"Three on one. This should be fun." The guy shrugged.

"Listen, man. I really don't feel like doing this here. So just, let her go."

He tugged you closer to him and you yelped, your front hitting his chest.

You squeezed your eyes shut.

You felt arms wrap around you and pull you away from the random guy's chest and you screamed.

"You son of a bitch!" Jay yelled.

You opened your eyes to see that Will was the one who had run up and pulled you back, your heart still beating out of your chest.

"Jay, he's not--" Will tried, but it was no use.

Jay threw the first punch.

The guy's head flew back and he fell to the ground. The guy tried to throw a punch from there, but Jay easily dodged it. Then, he threw three more hits to his face.

Will turned his head away from the fight at the sound of shitty sirens. "Fucking hell, Jay! Security!"

He didn't stop.

"Jay!" you yelled.

Now, this caused him to stop for a second...right as security pulled up next to him.

Jay looked up.

"He threw the first punch!" the man yelled to security before Jay could even explain the situation in its entirety.

"And you harassed my sister, so I think me punching you was warranted!" Jay argued. He turned to security. "Jay Halstead, CPD detective with the Intelligence unit."

The two beach security guards shared a glance. One sighed. "Okay, to make this easier, we won't call the cops because apparently, he is one. But, both of you are banned from the beach."

"What?" the guy bellowed. "You're not even going to ask him for some identification? Unbelievable!"

"I can easily go grab my badge from my car, officer," Jay suggested.

"That won't be necessary," the security guard said. He turned to you. "Miss, did he hurt you in any way?" You held out your hand to show him your wrist, which was red and you knew you'd have bruising on it tomorrow. Then, he turned his attention back to the guy who had been harassing you and his two friends. "You, come with me. Unless one of your buddies wants to cop to being the one who did the harassing?"

The two other guys held up their hands in a sign of surrender and backed up.

"What?" the guy yelled. "I need medical attention! I probably need stitches!"

"And we can have someone do that for you, but you need to come with us." He pulled out a pair of zip ties and got them on the guy's wrist...not without him giving the security guards some difficulty, though. He turned his attention back to you and your brothers. "I take it back, Detective, you're not banned."

Jay gave him a curt nod of thanks.

"What?" the guy yelled as the security guard started walking, taking the creeper away from you and your brothers.

"Keep it moving, buddy. Keep it moving."

"Let's get outta here," Will suggested.

You and Jay agreed, and then the three of you went to grab your stuff from where it previously was at the beach.

***

You had ridden back home with Will instead of Jay since he needed some time to cool off...and call Voight to make sure that the asshole actually got some jail time or something. Basically, Jay needed Voight to make sure that the beach security was actually doing their job.

The two of you made your way into the apartment (Jay had given Will a key and Will had given Jay a key to his apartment also. You didn't bring your key because you thought you'd be riding home with Jay, but then everything popped off.). Then, Will immediately went into doctor mode.

"Go change into some clothes and then I'm gonna take a look at that wrist," he told you.

You nodded and quickly changed into a pair of comfy shorts and a t-shirt. Then, you made your way to the kitchen table where Will was waiting expectantly. You sat down a sighed.

"You okay?" Will asked as he stopped unzipping his medical bag that he always kept in his car in case of emergencies and gave you his full attention.

"That was terrifying. I just, I never would've thought that would happen."

"And it shouldn't have happened. You're fourteen; you're just a kid. It shouldn't happen to an adult, much less a kid." You nodded. "Can I see your wrist?"

You held it out to him and he gently pressed on it and began to inspect it. "You know," you started, "I thought you'd be patching up Jay. Turns out that ass- that guy's friends didn't want to get involved."

"I wouldn't either," Will agreed. "There's no way I'd want to be one the receiving end of a fistfight with Jay. And, for the record, that guy was an asshole." Then, he started talking about the subject at hand. "Well, good news is that it isn't broken...but we already knew that. Bad news is that there will be some slight bruising, so we need to ice it."

"Okay."

Will got up to get some ice from the freezer when Jay walked in...holding a bag of groceries.

"What's that?" you asked.

"Well, I figured we'd get ice cream after the beach, but since that didn't happen, I decided to pick some up." He set the bag of groceries on the table in front of you and started taking out pints of ice cream. "Superman for Will, Neopolitan for me, and cookies n creme for you."

Your eyes went wide as you saw the ice cream and quickly snatched up your pint. Jay laughed at your excitement.

"Still can't believe that Will's favorite is Superman," you mused.

"He's like a kid in an adult's body," Jay agreed.

"I heard that!" Will yelled and then came back with an ice pack and three spoons. "What can I say, I'm a sugar aficionado. Now, what movie are we watching?"

The three of you made your way over to the couch with your spoons and ice cream, you with your ice pack as well, and started to try and agree on a movie.

Sometimes, you hated that Jay was so vigilant and that Will always had to take a look at something as small as a scrape, but today, those two things definitely came in handy. And, you couldn't be more thankful.

***

Migraine (age 16)

Oh here we go again, you thought as you sat in your American history class and felt the pounding in your head coming on. You had had a slight headache this morning but had a feeling it was going to turn into something more since all of your headaches lately have been turning into migraines almost every other day for the past week. For a few weeks, you'd been having headaches and they started out not too bad, a small dose of Tylenol would fix them. You assumed they were just stress headaches from school. But, then they started making the sides of your head pound and making you sensitive to light or nauseous. And right now, you felt a really bad one coming on.

Forty-five minutes later, you had gotten out of your history class and were on your way to biology. But, you were in the midst of the worst migraine of your life. Your head was pounding, everyone seemed to be talking right in your ear, and the lights were way too bright even when you squinted.

You had to go home. You couldn't stay at school any longer.

So, you went to the office and explained this and then called Jay.

"Hello? Y/N, aren't you supposed to be in class?" he asked when he answered.

"My head hurts really bad, Jay. Please, can you come pick me up?" you asked.

"I can have someone drop off some Tylenol," he suggested.

"No," you whined. "It hurts so bad. The light hurts my head and people talking hurts my head. Please, Jay."

You were practically pleading and even though Jay knew that you had a geometry test today, he agreed.

"Okay, I'll email your math teacher about the test."

"Oh. I forgot about that." You hissed as the late bell rang, causing your head to pound even more for those few seconds.

"That bad, huh?" Jay asked, having heard the bell chime on his end of the phone.

"Uh-huh. But, I can't drive home."

"Okay, and I can't pick you because I'm meeting with a CI. You okay if Adam picks you up and brings you back to the district? Then, me and someone else can go pick up your car from school later?"

"Okay. Why can't I just go home?"

"Because, if you're feeling as crappy as you say you are, then I'd prefer that someone has eyes on you. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay, bye Jay."

Then, you hung up, told the secretary you'd be leaving so that she could send an email to your teachers, grabbed your stuff from your locker, and came back to the office to wait for Adam.

***

Twenty minutes later, Adam walked into the office.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm gonna sign you out and then we'll get you out of here, okay?" You had balled up your sweatshirt and were using it as a pillow and had your eyes closed. But, you cracked them open and nodded. Adam knew this definitely wasn't you lying to get out of a test because usually, you'd tell him not to call you kiddo, seeing as you were sixteen.

Adm showed his ID to the secretary and then he signed you out. You stood up and your head started pounding even more due to the sudden change in posture.

"Here, I can take your bag," Adam offered and you handed him your backpack.

"Thanks," you said quietly.

Then, you made your way to Adam's Jeep and got in the backseat. Not even two minutes into the trip to the district, you knew you couldn't take the music that was playing from the radio...even though you knew it was lower than he normally played it.

"Adam?" you asked, your head now resting on your balled-up sweatshirt as you tried your best to lay down while still buckled up in the backseat.

"Yeah?"

"Can you turn off the music? It really hurts my head."

"Of course." Then, he quickly turned off the radio and the two of you rode in silence the rest of the way to the district.

Adam would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you.

***

"Mini Halstead! What's--" Trudy Platt exclaimed when you and Adam walked into the district, but Adam quickly placed a finger to his lips as you whimpered at the loudness of her voice. "Sorry," she whispered. "You hungry?"

You shook your head. "Thanks, though."

The desk sergeant nodded. "Let me know if she needs anything," she directed to Adam.

"Will do, Sarge."

Then, the two of you made your way up the stairs and into Intelligence, not without the buzzer on the gate causing you to hiss at the pain it caused in your temples.

"Mini Halstead!" Kevin exclaimed, but Adam quickly put a finger to his lips as you whimpered at his loud voice.

Jay quickly made his way over to you. "Let's go into the break room, okay?" You nodded. Jay turned to Adam. "I can take her bag."

Jay took your backpack from Adam and then the two of you went into the break room.

"There's some Tylenol and water on the table for you," Jay said, fully expecting you to walk over and get it. But, instead, you just plopped yourself down on the couch. "Or, I can bring it to you."

He gave you the water and the two pills and you took them.

"Have you eaten anything since breakfast?" he asked.

You shook your head. "Hurts to chew."

"Okay." Jay paused for a moment. "I think I have a banana I brought with me in case I got hungry. Is that soft enough for you to chew? I want you to eat something."

"I guess," you mumbled as you laid down on the couch. "Just wanna sleep."

"I know, but I wanna get some calories in you before you do that. Can you just stay awake for like five more minutes?" You nodded. "Okay, I'll be right back."

Jay came back two minutes later with a banana and a blanket.

"Where'd you get the blanket?" you asked.

"I keep it in my truck for late-night stakeouts. Here." He handed you the banana and then set the blanket next to you. "I don't have a pillow, so your sweatshirt will have to do. You all set?"

"Yeah, gonna eat this and take a nap."

"Okay, I'll make sure Voight doesn't yell too much. This door's pretty much soundproof though, so you should be fine. Come get me if you need anything."

"Okay."

Then, you ate the banana, folded up your hoodie and put it under your head, and pulled the blanket over you, quickly falling asleep.

***

You woke up two hours later feeling too warm. Your migraine had subsided into just a headache...but you knew in a couple of hours, the migraine would probably be back after the Tylenol had worn off. And, it was still a decently bad headache, just without the light hurting your eyes as much.

But then, you had an idea.

Sometimes at home when you had headaches, you'd lay your head on the tiled floor of the bathroom because it was cold. Cold surfaces always seemed to help.

So, you looked out into the bullpen to see if anyone was there.

No one.

You picked up your phone to see a text from Jay saying that they had gone on a raid and would be back soon and that if you needed anything, to let Trudy know. He also said that he had let Will know what was going on and that he'd be at the apartment later tonight to check up on you.

You wrapped the blanket around you and then made your way out of the bullpen and into an empty interrogation room.

You sat down in the cold metal chair and held your blanket tighter around your body. Then, you laid your head on the cold metal table and relished the feeling of coolness on your head.

Yeah, this will help.

***

"I didn't do it! I swear!" a drug dealer that Trudy was holding by the arm defended himself while Trudy led him to an interrogation room.

"Not that I don't believe you," she started, "but I've heard that one before."

She walked into the interrogation room and her eyes went wide when she saw you lying with your head on the table, asleep.

"What's a kid doing in here? I don't know her!"

"Shut up," Trudy told him. "Come on."

Then, she pulled him towards the next interrogation room.

"Some officers will be in here soon to have a chat with you. Feel free to make yourself comfortable."

Then, Trudy left the room and closed the door, and made her way into the interrogation room where you were currently sleeping.

She knelt down beside you. "Y/N," she whispered. You didn't stir. She placed a hand on your shoulder. "Kid, wake up."

"Hmmm, no," you said, not even lifting your head up. "Wanna go home. Cold feels good on my head."

Then, Trudy heard the buzzer to Intelligence go off. "I'll be back," she told you.

"Uh-huh," you said, closing your eyes once again.

Trudy walked into Intelligence and immediately set her sights on Jay.

"Halstead," she barked.

Jay quickly turned his head. "What can I do for you, Sarge?"

"You can explain to me why that sister of yours is currently taking a nap in one of my interrogation rooms because she says the cold feels good on her head and then get her out of there," she told him.

"What?" he asked, more confused than ever.

"Y/N's napping at the table in an interrogation room. I need you to get her out of there. I almost put a dealer in there."

"Why's she in there?"

"Like I just told you: she said the cold feels good on her head. But I need you to get her out of there. Now."

"Copy you, Sarge."

"Good choice, Chuckles, good choice."

Then, Jay made his way to the interrogation room that Trudy told him that you were in.

He squatted down next to you. "Y/N," he whispered.

"Feels good. Leave," you mumbled.

"You know I can't let you stay in here. We gotta get you back out into the break room. It's not safe for you in here."

"Don't care."

Jay huffed. "I know you don't, but I do."

You opened your eyes to see that Jay had turned the lights on all the way...compared to how dim you had them before.

Fuck, it had been a few hours since you had taken the Tylenol and it was wearing off.

You closed your eyes again.

"Y/N," Jay warned.

"Light hurts."

Jay sighed. "Okay, I'll dim the lights and I'll be right back."

Jay dimmed the lights and walked out of the interrogation room and into the bullpen once more.

"Why's she not out yet?" Voight asked.

Jay rummaged around in his desk while he answered. "She said the light hurts her eyes, so I'm giving her these to wear." He held up a pair of sunglasses.

"Huh." Voight paused. "Take her home, Jay. You're done for the day. I don't expect to see you back here until Monday."

"Sarge, all due respect, but it's Wednesday and we're in the middle of a case."

"We'll be fine for one half-finished case without you, Jay. Y/N's family. Take care of her. Just think of it as of tomorrow, you get to have a four-day weekend."

"Can I get one of those four-day weekends?" Adam asked.

"No," Voight answered without skipping a beat. "Go take care of your sister, Halstead."

Jay nodded and then grabbed your backpack from the break room and then returned to his desk for his keys and jacket and then went back to the interrogation room.

"Y/N, we're gonna go home now," he whispered when he walked into the room.

"Yay," you said in a monotone voice and slowly lifted your head up and then rubbed your hands down your face.

"Put these on. They should help with the light."

You took the sunglasses from him and put them on. Then, you two slowly walked out of the room and outside of the district to his truck.

***

"So she's sensitive to light and sound?" Will asked Jay over the phone once Will had gotten off shift and realized his brother had called him concerning your headache.

"Yeah, pretty sure it's a migraine," Jay confirmed.

"She mention anything about nausea?"

"When we were driving home she did."

"Could also be that she started getting motion sick if it only happened in the car. I'll stop over and take a look. She eaten anything?"

"Just breakfast and a banana."

"Jesus, man. It's past five o'clock. She needs more than that!"

"I know, but she said it hurts to chew, so I didn't want to force her."

"Okay, I get it then. I'll pick up some food on my way. I'll get Panera Bread so I can get her some soup. Text me what you want."

"Okay, thanks, man. And Y/N likes--"

"--the cheese broccoli soup. I know, Jay, I know."

"Just checking."

Then, Jay hung up and started to look at the menu and then texted Will what he wanted. Now he just had to wait for Will to come over and hopefully fix you. Because Jay would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you.

***

"Thanks for coming, man," Jay said as he opened the door. "God, she's making me really worried."

"Whoa, it must be bad if you're admitting you're worried," Will joked and then set the bag of food on the counter.

"Dude, she was napping in an interrogation room because she said the table was cold and it felt good on her head! Damn right I'm worried!"

"Okay, just...get the food out and I'll go check her out. Hopefully, I can figure out what's making her get all these headaches. She mention headaches before now?"

"Yeah, for about the past week, week and a half. But, they've never been this bad. And, if they were, she hasn't told me."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see if she'll tell me more. She's gonna be okay."

Jay nodded and then Will made his way to your bedroom.

He opened the door to see that you were sound asleep with your blinds closed all the way. You had your fan on and had earplugs in, so he assumed that just wanted the fan on for the cool air and not the noise...and the noise was the reason you usually wanted it on.

Gently, Will touched your shoulder.

"Go away, Jay," you mumbled and rolled over to face the wall.

"It's not Jay, it's--" Will sighed when he realized you wouldn't be able to hear him because of the earplugs you had in. So, he settled on shaking your shoulder until you opened your eyes and realized it was him and not Jay.

You took out the earplugs.

"Can you fix it?" you asked. Then, you whimpered. "It hurts so bad."

Your lip started to tremble. You didn't want to cry because you knew it would make your migraine worse, but you couldn't stop the tears; you were so sick of these damn headaches and this migraine.

"When did they start?" Will asked and turned off the fan.

"Three weeks ago," you answered.

"Jay said only a week and a half."

"I didn't tell him. I thought they were from school stress, but they won't go away. Make it stop! Please! I can't- I can't even think straight anymore, Will."

You put your head in your hands and rubbed your temples.

"Have you been eating a lot of different foods? Getting too little sleep? Drinking too much caffeine? Weird periods?"

"No, none of that." You wanted to tell him that it was weird having him ask you about your period, but your head hurt so bad that you refrained.

"Okay, well, I think Jay's got the food ready, so do you think you can manage some cheese broccoli soup from Panera?"

You shrugged. "Maybe a little."

"That's good enough for me. C'mon."

You grabbed a pair of sunglasses from your bedside table next to you and then followed Will out into the hallway and then put the sunglasses on.

"How you doing?" Jay asked as he finished pouring everyone water.

You shrugged. "Still hurts."

"I'm sorry, but the bottle says you can't have anymore Tylenol yet."

You nodded and sat down and slowly started to eat your soup, sunglasses still on.

You started to eat and then realized your soup was kind of cold. You stood up.

"Soup cold?" Jay asked.

You nodded and put it in the microwave.

Then, something clicked in Will's head.

Cold.

Temperature.

"Barometric pressure," Will muttered. Then he looked up, a smile starting to spread across his face. "Barometric pressure," he repeated, this time louder.

"Bara-what-now?" Jay asked.

"It's essentially the air pressure when the weather changes," he explained. "Remember when Y/N was in elementary school and would have really bad allergies in the fall?"

"Yeah," Jay said. "What's this got to do with migraines?"

"Migraines start around adolescence and since she had allergies in the fall before, I'm fairly certain that this is why she's getting them."

"You know why?" you asked as you sat back down, your soup now warm. "Can you make them stop?"

"I think I do. But, we'd have to get you checked out tomorrow."

"Okay. Thank you. Get me an appointment."

A few days later, after lots of naps, soup, and tv when your headache/migraine decided to subside, you were put on corticosteroids for what were called "cluster headaches" in the medical field. You're only supposed to be on them for about two weeks and then you'd have to be reassessed. But, for now, your migraines had subsided and you could finally, finally think clearly.

***

Sorry About your Truck (age 18)

You didn't know what was happening. One second you were driving on the circle of the on-ramp to the highway, and the next, you fishtailed to the right. You spun your wheel to the left, maybe slammed on the brakes (which you knew you weren't supposed to do), and then slid to the right again. It all happened so fast that you didn't even know how it happened.

But, you knew how you got in this position.

"Fuck," you muttered as you put your hand up to the vent in your car the day before you left for school. Even though it was set to defrost, you still should've been able to feel some heat coming out. But you felt nothing. Well, nothing but cold air.

You trudged back inside to see Jay putting on his jacket.

"I think my heat in my car's broken," you said.

Jay looked at you and raised his eyebrows. "You probably just didn't turn it on."

"Yes, I did. And I double-checked. Come see."

So, Jay walked out to your car. And sure enough, your heat was broken.

"I'll drop you off at school and then we'll bring the car to the shop tonight. C'mon," Jay told you.

"I have to work tomorrow until 11," you said. "How am I supposed to go to work?"

Jay sighed. "I'll figure it out."

Because, he knew for a fact he couldn't let you drive without heat...not in these Chicago winters.

***

"Jay, man, you gotta go to sleep," Will told his younger brother.

"Dude, it's getting icy out!" Jay argued over the phone. "I'm staying awake until she gets home!"

Will sighed. "Fine. I know there's no changing your mind."

"Thank you. Now, I'm gonna see if I can find a hockey game happening on the west coast and watch that. I'll text you when she gets home."

"I don't need you to do that, but if it makes you feel better, feel free. God, you need to make your cop instincts chill for once."

***

You screamed. You didn't know what to do. One second you swerved to the left and then you swerved to the right. You tried to correct yourself again and get back on the road, but it wasn't working...not like it worked last time when you tried to go back the opposite way anyway. But, now, oh now you were more terrified than before...if that was even possible.

You felt hot tears sting your eyes as you heard the sounds of metal ripping through metal. Then, you felt yourself tumbling. You didn't know if you were screaming at this point, but you felt your knee jam into the dashboard and the next thing you knew, you were upside down with only your seatbelt keeping you in place and the broken glass from the windows had left a smattering of cuts along your body, with the deepest one being on your forehead.

You kept flailing your arms, trying to do something, anything to get you out. And then you heard the sound of sirens and the snow around you started turning blue.

Great...you had found the button to turn on Jay's sirens. Just great.

"Help!" you yelled.

You hoped that someone would call 911....but according to these sirens, you were 911.

***

"Squad 3, Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Engine 51, Battalion 25. Single vehicle car accident. Person trapped."

"Single vehicle?" Casey asked. "Why do they need all of us?"

"Beats me," Severide said. "But we're about to find out."

***

"A cop car?" Kelly asked as he furrowed his eyebrows on the way to the scene.

"Guess so, Lieutenant," Cruz said. "Looks like an undercover car to me, too."

As they got closer, Kelly noticed something. He knew that truck.

"Casey," he said into his radio, "that look like Jay Halstead's truck to you?"

Casey tilted his head. "You know, it actually does. Dispatch," he started, "this is Truck 81 to Main, can you get in contact with the 21st District and see if Jay Halstead is on duty tonight and then get back to us?"

"Copy that Truck 81."

They all pulled up to the scene and Boden started directing everyone.

"Squad, we need to get that victim out. Truck, help Squad with figuring out how to get the victim out. Chances are we'll have to cut the car and need all hands on deck. Engine, I need you on standby in case there's a gas leak and a fire starts. Sixty-One, do all you can."

They all said their "copy that's" in some form or another and then Casey, Stella, and all of Squad 3 went over to look at the truck.

"Help!" you yelled. "Somebody help me, please!" At this point, the blood from your forehead was dripping all over the roof of the truck. At least, since you were upside down, the blood wasn't going into your eyes. But, tears were rolling down your cheeks. You were terrified and your knee was in so much pain from being crushed up against the dash and your head was starting to burn where you had been cut by the glass.

"Main to Truck 81, Jay Halstead is not on duty tonight according to the 21st."

"It's not Halstead!" Casey yelled. "He's not on duty!"

They all raced up to the truck.

"I'm gonna climb up to the window and see how the victim's doing. I'll tell you what we need from there," Kelly said.

Then, with the help of Cruz and Capp, he got on top of the rolled-over vehicle.

"Help! Please help me!" you yelled.

"We're gonna get you out, don't worry!" Kelly yelled once he was close enough that he knew you'd be able to hear him.

You knew that voice.

Kelly looked down into the truck to see you straining your neck to look out the broken window and up to him.

"Don't move!" he ordered. He had no idea whether or not you had sustained injuries to your spinal cord.

"O- Okay," you whimpered. "I'm scared, Kelly."

"I know, I know. But we're gonna get you out of here. It'll all be okay." He turned his head so that it was back facing Squad, Casey, and Stella. "Casey!" he yelled. "I need you to tell Boden to get in touch with one of the Halsteads! It's Y/N!"

***

"Hello?" Jay asked sleepily into his phone. He had finally taken Will's advice and had tried to go to sleep...with a Vegas Golden Knights vs. Colorado Avalanche game playing in the background since that was the NHL game that was happening on the west coast right now.

"Halstead, it's Wallace Boden. Are you aware that your sister was driving your truck?"

At this, Jay sat up straight, sleep be damned. "She was. Why? What happened? Is she okay?"

He stood up and started pacing the room.

"Jay, I'm going to tell you the location and I need you to call Will and you both need to get here ASAP."

"Chief, all due respect, but you need to tell me what's going on."

"Y/N's been in a car accident. It's a roll-over crash. She's currently stuck in the car but conscious."

Everything Jay learned about bad news from your mom and dad passing, to his time in the military, to him being a cop flew out the window in that very moment.

"She's been in a crash? Can they get her out? Tell me they're gonna get her out, Chief! They have to!"

"Jay, my men are doing everything they can. But right now, you need to call your brother and you need to get to this location as fast as possible."

"Okay, yeah, yeah. I can do that."

Then, Jay quickly hung up.

After calling Will four times in a row, he finally picked up.

"Dude, I'm about to be in surgery, what's--"

"Y/N's been in a car accident. We need to go there now."

Will almost dropped his phone.

"What? How? When?"

"I don't know, all I know is that Boden called me and told me to get to the scene ASAP. I'll pick you up on the way."

Then, without waiting for Will's response, Jay hung up the phone and dialed a number he never thought he'd be calling off duty: his new partner, Hailey Upton.

"Hailey, it's Jay. I need a favor."

***

"Capp!" Kelly yelled. "We need to cut through the seat to get it off from the floor because that's currently the ceiling! Squad and 81, we need to cut the back of the truck so we can get her out of here! 51, figure out how to kill these sirens! And, Brett, I need you to come up here and take a look so you can tell me the best way to get her out of here!"

Sylvie Brett started sprinting over to the truck with her jump bag and then Casey and Cruz helped her onto the truck and Kelly gave her his hand to make sure she got all the way up there safely.

"Y/N, I'm Sylvie. Do you remember me?" she asked calmly.

"Uh-huh," you answered, trying your best not to move your head like had Kelly told you.

"I bet your leg hurts really bad, huh?"

"Not, not really," you answered.

Sylvie and Kelly shared a look. They knew what this was: you were going into shock.

"Hand me that flashlight," Sylvie said to Kelly. He handed it to her. "Yeah, she's tensing her leg muscles, which is probably why she can't feel it. She's still having an adrenaline rush since she seems to unconsciously tensing them. We'll still give her pain meds as soon as we can because when the pain wears off, it's gonna hurt.

"For now, I need to get a C-collar on her and when she gets out, I need her on a backboard and I need that leg in a splint. Try your best not to do any sudden movements that can hurt her leg even more than it already is. By the looks of it, I'm assuming she shattered her knee cap."

"Got the bolt cutters, Severide!" Capp yelled.

"Got the saw, too!" Casey yelled. "I think we should start by cutting the end of the truck, sound good?"

"Yeah, that works!" He took off his turnout coat and handed it to Brett. "Get in there, get a C-collar on her, and cover her with this while we cut the end of the truck. Close your eyes and cover your head with your jacket. Yell to me when you're ready."

"Why aren't you going in there?" Sylvie asked as she positioned herself to jump through the window and down into the truck.

"I don't think I could fit through that window."

"You never know," Sylvie said and then slipped down and into the truck.

"They're gonna cut it?" you asked frantically. "But what if they hurt me?"

"Y/N, it's okay. They won't hurt you. They're professionals. They've done this hundreds of times. But, I need you to stay calm for me. I'm gonna put this C-collar around your neck and cover you with this coat so that debris doesn't get in your eyes." She didn't mention the cut on your forehead and at the moment, she hoped you weren't feeling it.

Sylvie got the C-collar around your neck to stabilize it and then she put the turnout coat over you and pulled hers over her head. "Ready!" she yelled to Kelly.

You started hearing the sound of metal being cut. You could feel your heart pounding out of your chest, but at the same time, you couldn't feel anything at all.

***

"There it is!" Jay pointed from the passenger seat of Hailey's car. The hospital had been on their way to the scene, so they grabbed Will on the way. Jay was thankful because he knew that the hospital would be close if you needed to go there.

Will was practically standing up in the backseat so that he could jump out of the car as quickly as possible. He needed to make sure you were okay.

Hailey had barely put the car in park when both Halsteads jumped out.

"Chief!" Jay yelled. "Where is she?"

"She's still in the car. They're trying--"

"They're trying?" Jay yelled angrily, cutting Chief Boden off. "If she's not out yet and it's been this long then they sure as hell aren't trying! I swear to God if--"

"Jay!" Will yelled and stepped in front of him and gave him a shove to push him away from Boden. "You need to calm down!"

"Calm down? Don't tell me to fucking calm down! Our sister's in a roll-over crash and you're telling me to calm down?"

"I understand you're upset," Boden started, "but you two shouldn't even be here right now. And, if you don't want to be pushed back behind the yellow tape, I suggest you calm down."

Jay glared at Boden but kept his mouth shut.

Jay started walking away and then locked eyes with Stella. He picked up his pace. Will tried to pull him back because he had a feeling he knew what he was going to do, but he was too late.

"Stella!" he yelled. "What's happening? You gotta tell me what's going on in there. Please."

Stella sighed. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. But, she knew if it was anyone in her family, hell if it was Kelly or anyone else in Firehouse 51, she'd want to know what was going on, too.

"She's upside down, hanging from her seat. Her knee's jammed up against the dash. She's still conscious, but they have to get her out."

There was a loud creaking sound that caused everyone to turn their attention back to the scene.

They had sawed through the back half of the truck and were now going in.

"Casey, Kelly," Stella said into her radio, "can I get an update on the situation? Jay and Will are here and they just want to know."

"We just gotta get the chair down, Kidd," Casey's voice came from her radio. "She's still conscious. She's scared, but she should get out fine."

Jay looked up at the sky while Will sighed in relief.

You'd be getting out of there just fine.

***

The next few hours were a blur of you getting out of the truck and being taken by ambulance to Chicago Med (Will rode with you because of Jay's fear of needles), and you being in knee surgery.

Jay and Will had to wait outside while you were in surgery. And they were beside themselves.

"God, I shouldn't have let her take my truck," Jay vented as he was pacing the waiting area with his hands on his head.

"You couldn't have known it was gonna snow like this. It wasn't supposed to snow like this," Will comforted.

"How do you do it?" Jay asked.

Will furrowed his eyebrows. "Do what?"

"Stay so calm? Like, when we were at the scene, you were so calm when I was absolutely losing it."

"I don't know, I really don't. Maybe I realized that being pissed wasn't going to help anyone. But, when I heard Stella and Casey tell us what was going on, I knew she was going to be okay. There were no injuries to the abdomen, chest, or head--well, except for that laceration on her forehead--and she was conscious. I just knew."

"So you're telling me, you thought logically with medical knowledge?" Jay asked. He had absolutely no idea such a sophisticated sentence would ever make its way out of his mouth, but hey, there was a time and place for everything.

"That and I knew you'd be pissed, so I knew I'd have to at least be calm enough to calm you down...or hold you back."

"There it is."

***

You woke up an hour later. You blinked, trying to remember what happened, and then it all came rushing back. The fishtailing...the screaming...Kelly talking to you...the sound of metal being cut...

You took a deep breath.

This alerted your brothers that you were awake.

"Hey, how was being under?" Will asked jokingly. You had always asked what it felt like to be under anesthesia and Will said he couldn't really explain it; he said you'd just have to find out some time.

"It was a nice nap," you answered.

Will laughed. "I bet it was. Feeling better?"

"Tired," you yawned.

"Well, it is just past four in the morning, so that makes sense."

You looked at Jay. "I'm sorry about your truck. I was just going down the exit ramp and it happened so fast and--"

"Hey, hey," Jay said quickly and stood up. "It's okay. It's just a truck, it's replaceable; you, kiddo, are not."

Will smiled. "Borrowing a line from Mom's book when we both inevitably got in our first car accidents, I see."

Your finger started to move toward the stitches on your forehead.

"No, no, no," Will said quickly. "Don't touch them!"

You kept running your finger over them. "But they feel funny."

"That's because you haven't gotten them before. They'll feel even funnier if you pop one and me or someone else has to redo them."

Your stomach grumbled.

"Okay, what do you want to eat?" Will asked. He handed you a cup of water, too because he figured that if you were hungry, that you'd be thirsty as well.

You took a few sips and then answered. "Olive Garden."

Jay laughed. "Olive Garden isn't open at four am."

You pursed your lips to the side, thinking about what you wanted. "Pizza."

"I'll go have someone grab you some," Will said.

"Maybe send Adam because he can just call the cafeteria lady darlin' and then just like that,--" Jay snapped his fingers---, "she'll get an extra piece for free," Jay suggested.

"Adam's here?" you asked.

"Everyone's here," Jay answered. "They all wanted to make sure that you were okay...and the 21st also got called to see if I was on duty since it was my truck."

"If it makes you guys feel any better, I don't think I'll be driving for a while."

"That's okay. Voight gave me a few weeks off to look after you while you're recovering and I think Goodwin's letting Will cut down his hours."

"What he means Y/N, is that you'll be stuck with us telling you not to try to walk for a few weeks," Will said.

"Uh," you groaned.

Will and Jay both laughed. "I'm gonna go see if Adam can get you that pizza," Will said. He was almost out the door when he added, "you better not touch your stitches while I'm gone."

The next few weeks was a blur of doing all your schoolwork at home--and a lot of times, from the couch--, Jay and Will scolding you if you so much as tried to bend your leg, lots of movies and tv shows (and Jay and Will always let you pick because you couldn't really do much while you were laid up at home), and convincing Jay to buy you lots of Oreos and cheddar popcorn. And if he didn't...well, you'd just text Will (luckily you had insurance on your phone and could get a new one without paying a lot after the crash) and he'd bring you your Oreos and cheddar popcorn. After the first two weeks, Jay just had to live with the fact that he was outnumbered when it came to you and your favorite snacks.

***

Rough Shift (age 21)

Trigger warning for mentions of suicidal ideation!

You sat at Molly's finishing up your second pomegranate martini...and it was only 6 pm. You waved Stella over to have her make you another one.

"Y/N, I know you drove here. I can't in good conscience give you another drink. Hell, I didn't even want to give you the last one! But, I can get you a pop if you want? Or lemonade?"

"Stella," you whined. "I just want another drink. It's been a really rough day at work. Please, just make me another one."

"You know I can't do that. What happened at work? Maybe it'll help to talk about it. We've all had rough shifts before and talking about it or crying it out usually helps."

"I can't really cry it out right in the middle of a bar." You took a shaky breath. "Even though, I really wish I could." Tears started to sting your eyes. You couldn't cry. Not here. "I think I'm gonna go have that cry." You set some money on the bar. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. And hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, Y/N, I'm your girl."

"Thanks, Stella."

Then, you left Molly's. But, you didn't go straight home. You decided to go to the store instead. And all you bought there was a bottle of peach Moscato.

Time to get buzzed enough to forget for the time being.

***

When you got home, you popped some food in the microwave since you hadn't eaten since basically breakfast save for some beef jerky and an apple, and unscrewed the cap to the wine you had just bought. Normally, you wouldn't buy a ton of alcohol for yourself because you'd just take Jay or Hailey's drinks if she brought any over (yes, you still lived with Jay because college is ridiculously expensive and you were trying to get out of school with as little debt as possible...if any), but those two were on a camping trip on Lake Michigan for the weekend. You were supposed to go, but then you had to work. So, Will ended up going instead. He said maybe he'd meet a girl up there and you just laughed.

You took a few sips of your wine and then realized that maybe you should call your brothers. You knew this wasn't healthy and you felt like everything was coming down on you at once: the stories you heard at work, being in the hospital, currently just being physically and emotionally exhausted and hungry.

So, you dialed Jay's number.

"Hey, Y/N, what's up?" he asked. He put the phone on speaker so he could finish adding wood to the campfire he was building for him, Hailey, and Will to roast hot dogs over.

"It's just, it's been a really bad day," you said, your voice cracking.

Will was near him and he looked at Jay worriedly.

"Why's that?" Jay asked.

"I- I had to go the hospital with a girl because she- because she said she was going to kill herself." Tears were currently rolling down your cheeks. You had kept it together all day and now you were crumbling.

Working in a group home you knew things like this were bound to happen, but you didn't know they'd happen in your first two months there. And, to make matters worse, you got the email when you were driving into work, so you really had no idea what was going on. When you got to work, you were told you had to go to Lakeshore Memorial Hospital because a girl was saying she was going to kill herself the night before. And, you didn't have the staff to get her back inside safely, so, as is protocol, the shift lead the shift before yours had to call emergency services to take her to the hospital. You didn't know about any of this until you got to work when you were debriefed and then told you'd have to go to the hospital.

God, you knew this happened but nothing prepared you for sitting in that dark room with her all shift, the monitors beeping, telling you that she was still alive. You had done some homework and you had talked with her, gotten more information about why she did it. You had read her file, but she really seemed to open up to you and told you more. And, what broke your heart the most was that, since she was in a group home, she had no family. So, you did your best to sit with her the entire shift, only leaving to go to the bathroom, get some water, or make a phone call to your shift lead. Because, even if you were doing homework and she was sleeping or just sitting in silence, you knew it helped to have someone there with you. And, you knew if it was you in that position, you'd want someone to be there with you.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"No," you admitted. "I don't want to be alone."

Jay sighed. There was nothing he could really do for you at this point. "Y/N--"

"I'll grab my stuff and I'll be there in an hour and half, Y/N," Will interjected.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want you wasting your weekend off--"

"Y/N," Will began, "it's fine. I'll see you soon."

***

Will walked inside carrying a bag of McDonald's.

He walked into the living room to see you sipping wine out of the bottle. You weren't even halfway through it yet. You were just a little buzzed because you had drank the martinis a couple of hours ago. So, now you needed to get more buzzed to forget about your horrible shift. Normally you never did this: drink to forget. But today, well today, you deemed it warranted.

"Y/N, at least pour it in a glass," Will sighed and then sat down next to you and set the bag of food on the coffee table in front of you.

"Why's it matter? I'm the only one who drinks Moscato; you and Jay say it's too sweet."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to drink too much."

"But I just wanna forget what happened, Will," you said as you turned to face him. You started to cry. "She's just a kid. She shouldn't be going through this. Hell, she shouldn't have gone through what happened to her in her past! She didn't deserve it!"

Will wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug while you cried. He knew because of confidentiality reasons that you couldn't tell him any more than you had just told him and what you mentioned on the phone.

"I know, I know," he soothed.

"I know she didn't- she didn't die," you cried. "But, God, it feels like I got my first death."

"And, crying about it is nothing to be ashamed of," Will said. "When I had my first patient death, I went home and did exactly what you did: cried and drank until I couldn't think straight, much less think about what happened at work."

You pulled away. You didn't think Will ever cried over something that happened at work. "You did?"

"Hand to God, I did."

"How do you cope with this stuff all the time?"

"You do the best you can with the knowledge you have. You talk to somebody about how you're feeling and you don't drown yourself in drinking, drugs, or sex." He moved your bottle of wine. "You cope in healthy ways. And, sooner or later, you realize that you can't save everybody. And, that you can't change the past.

"You can't change what happened in this girl's past to make her end up in a group home or have these intrusive thoughts, but you can help change her future by being there for her and listening to her, and helping her get to a better place."

"That's what I want to do."

"Good, then you're in the right place to do that. You just have to focus on your wins and not your losses."

You pulled away and wiped your hands across your face to get rid of the tears. "Thank you for coming home. I, uh, I really needed that."

Will nodded. "You're welcome. I wished someone would've told me that earlier in medical school and I didn't want you to feel like I felt."

"Is that why you decided to come home and not Jay?"

"Part of the reason."

You raised an eyebrow. "And the other part?"

"I figured Jay and Hailey could use a night all to themselves."

"Gross!" You faked gagged and Will laughed.

"I don't know if you'll be able to eat now that I mentioned that, but how about we try and we can watch a funny movie?"

"I like that idea."

And, even though you really wanted to get buzzed to forget about the day you had, you knew it was better for you to talk about it with Will and eat takeout and watch a movie with him. And, you were pretty sure you felt better after that than you would if you drank an entire bottle of wine by yourself.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading! Sorry this one took so long, but I'm in school and working, so updates won't be as frequent as they were in the summer. And finally, please remember to like/reblog and comment! I love reading your comments! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

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missymurphy1985 · 4 years ago

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The Writer (Tommy Shelby X Fem.Reader) - Part One

Warning - SMUT (eventually)

Request? Yes

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @heidimoreton

You looked in the mirror, straightening out your dress and taking a deep breath. Your boss David, who also happened to be your older brother, had arranged a meeting with you in the offices of the Birmingham Herald at 6pm sharp.

On the way there, you couldn't help but marvel at how you'd ended up here. Your husband had died two years after returning from war having suffered severe injuries, and after you'd taken on his job at the Herald while he was away fighting, falling ill on his return and subsequently dying, your brother, the editor, had kept you on so you weren't destitute. It was against all the principles of the time, a woman working, but your brother never once allowed the other men at the newspaper to talk down to you. You were the best storyteller and strongest journalist they had on the books and he would always have your back. The other men had grown to look at you as a sister almost - you were blessed to be in the position you were in.

Arriving at the Herald, you made your way to David's office.

"Y/n, I'm sorry to call you in this evening..." He smiled, embracing you and offering you a whiskey which you gladly accepted.

"I never have evening plans David, you know that. What was so important it couldn't wait til morning?"

"We've had an incredible offer and I want you to be the one to report it. The story is made for you."

"What is it?"

"Thomas Shelby has agreed to an article on his life to date!"

"Thomas Shelby? As in the Peaky Blinders?! Not a fucking chance David..." You recoiled in horror. You knew the man's history very well, you'd gone to school with his younger brother John and the stories of the Peaky Blinders were infamous. You hated the man - the thought of interviewing him mad your stomach turn.

"This story could launch your career into the big time Y/n! Think about it! The most secretive, elusive man in the country wants to tell his story to you!"

"To the Herald."

"No, y/n, to YOU. He asked for you. By name."

"How the hell does he know my name?" You'd written your articles under a male pen name so as not to distract readers from the content. Not all men were as modern as your brother and coworkers.

"No idea, but he specifically asked for you."

You mind turned - no one knew you worked at the Herald. You'd kept yourself to yourself, even moving out of Small Heath after your husband passed away. You'd lost touch with John just before he went off to war. There was no connection to the Shelby family at all.

"The reason I dragged you in at 6pm is because he wants to make a start today. This evening actually, there's a car picking you up in 30 minutes."

"David!! I can't do this interview for goodness sake, I'm not even close to prepared!"

"You have 30 minutes! Pull your finger out!" He laughed.

You'd crammed as much as possible in that 30 minutes as you could - your mind was whirring at 70miles per hour when the silver Bentley pulled up outside. Glaring at David, who simply smirked in response, you got in the car as the driver greeted you.

"Arrow House ma'am, won't take long to get there," the driver smiled as you asked him where he was taking you. Arrow House? His home? Why would the most secretive man in Birmingham want to meet you in his sanctuary?

************************************************************

Pulling up outside the huge mansion, you couldn't help but be impressed. The gardens were immaculate.

A middle aged lady greeted you at the front door and offered to take your coat. You smiled and handed it over, as she led you through to the dining room. You took the seat she offered.

"Would you like some tea Ms. Y/L/N?" You nodded, and she signalled one of the younger maids to action.

"Mr Shelby will be with you in a moment, please make yourself comfortable," the lady smiled warmly and headed out the door with your coat. You looked around the room. A large painting on one wall of the man himself with a large horse. There was a smaller picture on a cabinet just underneath that caught your eye. A beautiful blond woman, with piercing eyes and a loving smile, holding a small boy in her arms. You didn't know Thomas was married, let alone had a son. The house didn't seem to have much of a feminine feel to it though, it was borderline drab in its decor.

"My wife, Grace. And my son Charles." A voice behind you startled you, and you turned to see Thomas himself walking towards you, a glass of whiskey in one hand, a cigarette in the other.

"She's beautiful, Mr Shelby. And your son is adorable," you smiled, but he didn't return it.

"She certainly was." Your eyes grew wide as the realisation of what he'd said sunk in.

"Oh I'm sorry -"

"No need. It was a long time ago. Shall we get this over with Ms Y/L/N?" You nodded and he led you out of the dining room into a smaller one - clearly an office. The large oak desk sprawled out in front of the bay window. You took your seat opposite his at the desk and pulled out your pen and pad as he poured himself another whiskey. You shook your head when he offered you one, drinking the tea the young maid have brought in to you instead.

Your questions for him were simple at first. You asked about his childhood in Small Heath. His schooling. His childhood friends. Pretty much all one word answers, driving you insane, until you asked about his brothers.

"You knew John, didn't you?" He asked.

"Yes. Same year at school."

"Sadly, he's no longer with us. Shot by the Italians last year." You heart dropped - you heard through the grapevine that John had children and a wife and the news hit you like a freight train. You took a breath and a moment to compose yourself.

"I'm so sorry Mr Shelby..."

"I'm sorry too, I didn't realise you were so close?"

"We were close before the war. Lost touch after that."

"I don't remember seeing you with him?"

"My father wouldn't let me see him, so we had to be careful.."

"You and John were..."

"No no.. god no! Just friends Mr Shelby." He went quiet again, and sipped his whiskey.

Back to the questions. Mundane as they were, you needed them to get the full story. He wasn't forthcoming with the details. You had to really press him, but he spent most of his time drinking his whiskey and looking out of the window at the dark clouds rolling in outside.

"Listen, Mr Shelby, you clearly don't want this any more than I do so please, if you don't mind, I'd like to end the interview here." Your voice was stern, patience had officially gone out of the window he was so fixated with.

"Jack said you were feisty." You froze at mention of your late husband's name.

"How did you know Jack?"

"We served together in France. Good man."

"Is that how you knew my name?" He didn't answer, just nodded, again watching the weather changing quickly outside.

"Storm looks bad."

"If I leave now I should be fine." The first rumble of thunder made you jump, Tommy noticed your fear instantly.

"Scared of storms?"

"They used to scare Jack.." a second rumble had you grasping onto the chair.

"Stay until it passes." Was that a request or an order.. you weren't sure but he took your hand gently and led you into the hallway away from the window, into the main dining room again.

"Frances, have the curtains closed please." He spoke to the older woman who greeted you at the door and she dutifully obliged, closing the curtains in the large windows.

Tommy sat you at the table and gave you his glass of whiskey, your shaky hands accepting it this time. Every thunderstorm brought flashbacks of Jack's terror filled eyes.. his anguished cries of pain.. and ultimately the sound of the gun he placed at his temple before he took his own life. You took a sip of the warm liquid as Tommy sat beside you, a fresh glass of his own in his hand.

"Jack saved my life."

"He did?"

"Yes. We were underground digging.. we could hear the Germans on the other side of the dirt digging towards us... They broke through first and grabbed me. Jack beat them to death with his hammer to get them off me." Tommy's memory made you smile, and you laughed gently.

"He was always brave.. and strong. Put everyone else first. He never told me.."

"He never wanted praise, it was just part of his job. In return.. I said if anything happened to him I would make sure you were looked after."

"What?"

"The men at your office? They're under my watch. They respect you because you're a damn good writer, but they also know if they gave you any shit..." He raised his eyebrow and you couldn't help but smile. Even after his death, he was making sure you were okay. That was the Jack you wanted to remember.

"In that case Mr Shelby, I thank you."

"Call me Tommy eh? Here's to the bravest man in France." He clinked his glass with yours and you felt him almost begin to relax.

"I noticed a piano in the hall - do you play?"

"I did as a boy. My mother was a keen player, I used to watch her all the time. Gave it up after she died."

"I played for Jack all the time. It soothed him when he couldn't sleep." He smiled, a warm genuine smile that you couldn't help but return.

You'd spent the evening drinking whiskey and talking with Tommy, the whiskey hitting you much quicker than it did him, and you could feel your eyelids growing heavier.

"I have a spare room upstairs y/n, maybe stay tonight, I'll have my driver take you home in the morning." He stood before you had chance to argue and you followed him up the stairs.

He led you into a beautiful bedroom, the decor in here much more appealing than downstairs and the large oak double bed even more so.

"I don't want to impose Thomas..."

"That storm isn't letting up any time soon, and you're exhausted. You're welcome to stay. There's fresh clothes in the wardrobe. My wife was the same build as you, they should fit. I'll have my driver take you home at 7am. Goodnight Y/n..." His blue eyes lingered on yours a moment and you felt a rush of something you hadn't felt in a long time... Scaring you. Quickly looking away, you bid him goodnight.

#tommy shelby x smut #tommy x fem!reader #tommy x y/n #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x smut

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captainsspnanon · 3 years ago

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Campaign 3: Bells Hells - Year Review

Can’t believe it’s been a year with this gang already!

Campaign thoughts overall:

I’m having a blast! The Mighty Nein is still my favorite, but Bells Hells is second on the list for me with Vox Machina third.

While I think some of them have been a bit overblown, I do think some of the pacing criticism is valid. The first 30ish episodes of the campaign just felt a bit weirdly paced out, both too slow and at times too fast as well. While it feels like we’re in a much more solid pacing, it also feels breakneck. I still wonder if the crew is expecting to have a ‘shorter’ campaign, or if Matt’s just got big things planned. With the Hells getting an airship for a year as of the last episode, it also feels a little bit like there’s a time limit on the campaign. Sure, M9 was just under a year, but VM was significantly longer, just because there were more timeskips. With that one year leasing limit, so to speak, it makes me wonder if the days of longer timeskips are gone for good. (Of course, the one year limit is arbitrary and I’m sure the Hells will somehow lose access to the airship within the span of a few weeks, but it’s just a Vibe.)

I do not agree with any of the claims that C3 feels ‘overproduced’ or ‘more likely to be scripted’ than any of the rest. They’ve got a better set, sure, better cameras and sound, yes, but they’re still goofballs who will talk over one another and improv with the best of them. I may not always feel like a lighting change is necessary, but it’s much less obtrusive than it was as the start, and I get very excited when we see new backgrounds. I desperately hope that there’s a snowy background, or a heavy rain/thunderstorm background!

PC thoughts:

No section here for Matt because all the NPCs are great and are consistently great. They all are still in solid NPC status, no one has yet reached a Gilmore/Allura/Essek level of ‘getting involved with the actual campaign’ yet.

In table order: Chetney! I’m loving every single choice that Travis is making with this character, he’s having a blast playing a smart impulsive chaotic being. I’m looking forwards to seeing where we go with Chet in the next year, as I do struggle a bit of seeing it as more than just a silly-playing-to-have-fun PC. There’s nothing wrong with a choice like that, but I’m not expecting it to be that shallow with this type of group and playstyle. I feel like there’s so much of Chetney still undiscovered, but not necessarily that he’s hiding it, just that it hasn’t come up. The Hells aren’t really the prying type.

Laudna! I love her. Once “D” was mentioned the first time, I was a bit hesitant, as Delilah never actually did it for me in C1, so having her back as a probable-antagonist in C3 was not something that I felt would hold up. Overall for me….well, it still didn’t. It’s not bad! I’ve actually enjoyed all the interactions with her we’ve gotten, but I don’t have that underlying sense of “OMGTHISISSOBAD” that seems to permeate the table and fanbase. I don’t really have a sense for what drives Laudna yet, so I am interested (and a bit impatient) to see how she develops in the next year. Does she have a story separate from Delilah? What mechanical choices is Marisha making? How is Laudna even going to be in this week’s episode?! I’m very excited!

FCG. Talk about a slow warm up. I’ve always had difficulty connecting to Sam’s PCs, and I think it’s because Sam is a player who goes for the joke first and then builds that joke into the PC. Flat Exandria is a great example of this. So when Sam came in with a cheerful overly bright robit for C3, it took time for me to get it. I know Sam is capable of great twists, so I wasn’t surprised and was even expecting the murderbot twist, I’m STILL expecting the Charlie/Devexian twist (though now I suspect it will be more of a twist if Sam DOESN’T do that), but what really got me with FCG? What really clicked me in? Is when he started having more emotions than just ‘friendly helper bot’. When he started to be irritated, sarcastic, angry, uncertain, and his latest exploration into religion? I’m not saying FCG is my favorite Sam PC because I’ve spent so much time with Nott, but I’m saying FCG has the potential to become my favorite. I am thrilled to see Sam start digging into the meatier aspect and I suspect that FCG is going to be one of the PCs with the biggest changes by the end of the campaign.

Fearne. I love her, omg. She has the benefit of being my favorite Ashley PC (mostly because she’s been here the entire time without needing breaks), but I love every single choice she makes, including all the ‘bad’ ones. Right now, Fearne has been played pretty surface level, with little dips below in regards to her parents and grandparents. Matt has clearly decided that she’s going to be pulled into the main moon plot somehow, and I’m fascinated to see how Ashley is going to take it. Will she let it change her? Will Fearne stay the same as the world changes around her? WILL ASHLEY AND LIAM GET SOME MORE SOLID RP MOMENTS THAT I AM DESPERATELY CRAVING??? (….look. We didn’t get anywhere near enough Vax and Pike interaction, despite Liam clearly hoping for it, nor enough Yasha and Caleb interaction despite Liam clearly hoping for it, give me it here please please please!!) I like that Ashley has decided that she clearly wants to play into the chaotic aspect of the characters and is embracing it for all she’s worth. In the future, I’m hoping to see how deep the well that is Fearne may go, as I very much doubt that what we see is all that we get.

Imogen. To my reluctance, I agree with some of the criticism that Imogen seems a bit Main Character TM. I’m expecting this to balance out, as there’s been good balance in the previous campaigns, but it is occasionally a bit distracting right now. However! That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been loving the entirety of it and I’m desperately interested to know what the fuck is up with Ruidus and the forgotten gods and how this is impacting Imogen and what her mother has to do with it and and and and! I’d say out of all of the PCs, I feel like we know Imogen the best. She’s been very open with her backstory, and we’ve seen so many different aspects of her on display! I am suuuuper ready to see more of her ruthlessness, I think the bomb and lighting bolt on the crawler is my favorite Ruthless!Imogen moment so far. Out of the PCs, Imogen is also the one who has the clearest goal and path forwards. Learn more about her powers, her mom, etc. I suspect she’ll continue to be a driving plot force until the Apogee Solstice happens, whether that be at the end of the campaign or only partway through. Also Laura Bailey is just fucking fantastic.

ORYM. ORYM ORYM ORYM. He’s just a dude! I was not fond of him during EXU, but oh boy do I love him in C3. I have a personal desire for him to slowly accept that he’s awesome at leadership and start taking a more prevalent role in the team, but I’m well aware that Liam specifically designed him to be less of a point person. I’m looking forwards to seeing how much Liam will or won’t resist where it seems like the character arc may be taking him and how that will impact Orym’s choices. Orym is the other PC that I feel we know the most about, at least backstory-wise. What I’m looking forwards to most is seeing how much MORE we end up getting from him on top of the ‘just a dude with a dead spouse on a mission from my leader’. Also, do I need to talk about Liam’s flair for describing battle mechanics? I don’t think I need to.

Ashton – the other slow grower for me. If you’ve following along in all my reactions, you’ll know that I was very hesitant with Ashton at first as he felt a bit Molly2.0 to me. That lasted, what, three episodes? And then that was all gone and I was getting to know Ashton as they presented themselves. Ashton is still a bit of a slow grower for me, though I feel like the past few episodes have really started to solidify my feelings for him. First of all, really enjoying them. But now I’m also invested in their story and past. Granted, it took so long because Taliesin is a cagey mofo from whom trying to get information can be like pulling teeth /affectionate. I was actually fairly disappointed that we left Bassuras with barely anything in regards to Ashton, but we’re getting into it now and I’m getting invested! TELL ME MORE I NEED TO KNOOOOW.

The setting:

…….probably the weakest part of the campaign, to be honest. I WANT to learn more about Marquet, I WANT to feel the vastness and the wildness and the differences between it and Wildmount and Tal’Dorei. But so far, we’ve been pretty limited in what we’ve seen. Jrusar is definitely interesting, but the downside of a big city is that big cities are big cities and even with their surface differences they end up being big cities. I found parts of Jrusar fascinating (that underground market?? LOVE IT WANT MORE), but I was excited when we left to see more. Sadly, it seems like a lot of the travel in this campaign has been abridged. Our journey through the jungle was quick with a little detour and a battle, but overall a non-descript jungle. The place that the museum was in was interesting, but it was more jumping to places versus really feeling the lay of the land. The Hellcatch Valley was just flown over which disappoints me to no end because I would LOVE to see them have to travel through it for two or three episodes. Bassuras had tons of character and I loved it and really hope that a lot of other places have this level of flavor and uniqueness to them! I want to find more of what makes Marquet MARQUET, if that makes any sense. It doesn’t need to be all Mad Max and desert (and in fact, shouldn’t be), and I feel like we’ll get that sense if we go from smaller town to smaller town. With Jrusar being the main hub of sorts, I feel like we’ll be able to start exploring more, especially as we’ve unlocked another mode of travel. Granted, it means we’ll probably end up skipping over a lot of the travel which makes me sad, but we’ll see how it goes. I’m discovering more and more that I adore exploration and want to see more of that in this campaingn.

The ships.

Time to batten down the hatches, because I’m about to get controversial.

My NOTPs: None!

My OTPs: None!

Ships that I’m actively shipping: None!

Ships that I can see happening and would enjoy based off of current characterization: Fearne/Anyone (seriously, she would pair fantastically well with ANY of the PCs!), Orym/Ashton, FCG/Imahara Joe (look it just fascinates me okay)

Ships that entertain me and I would enjoy for the funsies even if I don’t necessarily vibe with them: Ashton/Laudna, Chetney/Anyone, Ashton/Imogen, Orym/any of the ladies (doesn’t work with the sexualities, but still fun concepts)

Ships that I …. would need a hell of a lot of changes in the campaign order for me to enjoy: Imogen/Laudna, Orym/Dorian. The latter because I really would need Robbie back full time and I’d need to see more interpersonal play with them. I know that they were dropping a lot of teases for it, but it never clicked for me. Okay, so the former. *sigh* Look, I know this is the big SHIP especially on tumblr, but so much of it just seems to be ‘two women are affectionate OMG LESBIANS THEY’RE LESBIANS AND IN LOVE AND THEY’RE LESBIANS DID WE MENTION THEY’RE LESBIANS’. There’s also a LOT of ‘Marisha and Laura HAVE to get together this campaign, they didn’t LAST campaign so they HAVE TO this time’. Honestly? I can see this ship in the campaign going either way, but I am absolutely dreading the fallout if they don’t get together. I can only image what the fall out of Beau/Jester not coming to fruition was, and this feels like it could get so much worse. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t see the possibility for it to happen, I DO, but I’d like to see a lot more interaction between the PCs first. So much of their background is ‘we’ve been traveling for two years together!’ but it doesn’t always feel like it. In the oddest sense, I almost feel like a lot of their relationship is still fairly surface level. I need more depth and interaction, and if this does become a canon ship, I hope we have a good number of episodes more before it happens so that the PCs can develop more, both together and separately. (also, and I know I’m poking the beehive here, but Laudna has IN GAME repeatedly shown attraction to men [Ira, the minotaur dude], so calling her a lesbian just really feels like denial. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone suggest that maybe she’s bi? Or pan? Just LESBIAN. Shall I even mention that Imogen has also mentioned having a crush on a guy? That one at least was pre-game, so maybe could be considered to be before she finalized her sexuality, but once again, just feels like bi-erasure. And god forbid either of these characters turns out to be straight, I’m pretty sure tumblr will revolt in it’s entirety, despite the fact that they don’t owe us a queer character or a certain relationship).

#critical role #bells hells #my year in review type of thing #as always all views expressed are only my personal opinions

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dabifixation · 4 years ago

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see you later

pairings: dabi x fem!reader

warnings: smut, fluff, angst, major character death, mha manga spoilers, slight gore, MINORS DNI

summary: Dabi knew he had to end things soon before they got out of hand. He knew this wasn't supposed to last long, he told himself that everytime he left your apartment in the early hours of the morning. Until he found himself back here again, in your arms and lost between your thighs.

word count: 4.7k words

"... We encourage everyone to stay at home tonight, as there is a possibility of a severe thunderstorm, along with it flashfloods all over the city..."

The television only served as background noise for you as you moved around your kitchen. Cleaning up the dirty dishes and utensils, a small smile on your lips after the friendly company you had tonight.

It's been a while since you invited your friends over for some supper after the long depressing week you had. You needed that, the entertainment and companionship only they could offer you. You've never laughed or cried so hard in months, telling each other about your sorrows and thoughts for your futures ahead.

Being an adult was never easy, especially in a world full of rejected heroes.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you hadn't heard the warning cough behind you, or the tap against your kitchen counter. But you did give a short shriek when you felt someone wrap their arms around your waist, their chin resting on your shoulder, inhaling your scent.

You relaxed once you felt the familiar warmth of who it was. Only one person in the entire world could be dubbed a walking, breathing furnace, and it was him.

"I missed out on a big meal didn't I?" He drawled, his warm hands rubbing soothing circles against your stomach.

"Maybe if you didn't pop into my life every few months, I would've saved you a plate." You sarcastically replied, but you didn't miss the way how you sounded partially hurt.

You weren't expecting much all those years ago when you found him bloodied and passed out behind your childhood home, and you weren't expecting much now.

You never asked questions, and he never pried in your personal life. You were quite fine with that. Not everyone was an extrovert and had their whole life story ready to be dished out. He was a very private person and you respected that.

He ignored what you said and continued to nuzzle his face into your neck. Using one hand to push your hair over your shoulder, exposing your neck to him.

You suppressed a sigh when you felt his warm lips give short kisses against your neck.

"I've missed you." He breathed cold air into your neck, making you stiffen at those words. He's never said something like that before, not once in the six years since you've known him.

Dabi noticed you stiffen in his arms, but he didn't say a word. He wasn't lying. He did miss you, achingly so.

He missed your stubborn attitude, the sarcastic replies that were on par with his own, the homemade cooking you offered to teach him countless of times that he doubt he'd pay attention to cause he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself. But most importantly he missed you. The way your touch lingered even days after his monthly visits, the way your lips would pay close attention to the magenta scars all over his body, and the different ways you'd say his name depending on what he was doing to you.

God, he was going to miss all of this once he leaves for the League of Villains.

"I've missed you too." You shyly said, you've never admitted these words aloud before and it felt good to tell him that.

"Turn around for me, I wanna see how good you look." He whispered in your neck.

"Dabi I'm wearing nothing but my puppy printed sweater." You deadpanned.

"It doesn't matter, you always look good no matter what." He playfully nipped your ear, making you roll your eyes despite the heat in your body relocating to your cheeks.

You turned around to face him, a beaming smile on your face that was only ever directed at him. Your heart always soared whenever you looked at him. He was beautiful. The most beautiful man you've ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes on. His eyes were the most vibrant blue you've ever seen, little specks of grey dancing in those pretty blues that were half lidded but always calculative and aware of his surroundings. He licked his lips, bringing your attention to the plump flesh that were an interesting contrast between soft and jagged, and the pink tongue residing in his mouth.

Your eyes were transfixed on his appearance, making sure no hair on his head was missing or any new injuries to his increasing collection. You rested your forehead against his hard chest once you found nothing out of place, letting out a sigh of relief when you finalized that he was okay, and not sporting a limp or any other injury.

"Damn, I stress you out that much huh doll?" You could hear the smirk in his voice, but didn't have the energy to make a snarky remark, only offering him a small smile.

"Your visits are becoming less and less you know, the last time I saw you was five months ago. I was..." so worried about you, you wanted to say. You were so worried that you stayed up everyday, two hours after your initial bedtime hoping that he'd at least show up once in those five months. He didn't, and you were beginning to think he never would, until tonight. You didn't want to tell him that.

He wouldn't care.

You felt embarrassed that you were crying to your friends about him earlier on. Scared that you'd never see him again, not because he's moved on from you as you know there's nothing keeping him here other than sex and a warm bed to crash in, but because you were worried he'd get himself injured or worse. And you didn't like dwelling on what worse could imply.

"I kno–" Dabi's words were cut off by a small sneeze he muffled into his arm. Sneezing twice more before he regained his composure.

You only noticed now that his clothes were slightly damp and heavier than usual. It made your eyesbrows furrow.

"How long were you in the rain Dabi?" You questioned, knowing you wouldn't like whatever answer he'd come up with.

"Ever since your lady friends came by."

"That was over two hours ago? You've been sitting in the rain this entire time?!" You felt your blood pressure rising when he only shrugged at your accusations. It was like arguing with a toddler sometimes.

You sighed again, pinching the bridge of your nose. "I've got a box of mens clothes laying around here somewhere. Go take a shower and I'll get them for you and make you a cup of hot tea."

He quirked one eyebrow up, staring intensely at you.

"What?" You averted your eyes away from his, embarrassed that he was searching your face for something.

He shrugged again, rolling his battered coat off his shoulders and started stripping the rest of his clothes off. You turned around before he could go any further. Busying yourself with getting his tea ready.

Dabi stopped undressing, standing there with nothing but his jeans on. Watching you as you got the correct items in order to make him tea, muttering to yourself about which biscuits he might like with it.

He liked the butterscotch ones, but he didn't bother opening his mouth. Too memorized by the way you moved around so frantically as if he was dying instead of coming down with a small cold.

He liked that about you, he liked a lot of things about you. Especially the way you cared about the simplest things pertaining to him even during moments of intimacy. You treated him like glass even if he didn't offer the same treatment in return, not because he didn't want to, he just didn't know how to go about it.

He frowned.

Dabi was only ever vulnerable around you, and you didn't even realize it. You didn't know the power you had over him, and he'd like to keep it that way. Afraid that you'd use it against him and he wouldn't be able to bring himself to hurt you for that. He could never hurt you.

He found himself walking towards you on impulse, hugging your waist once again. This time pressing his body flush against yours. He heard you gasp and that pulled a smirk out of him.

"Do you know what you do to me?" He gripped your hip with one hand, and snuck the other hand underneath your shirt. His lips against your neck, right above your pulse point.

Your stomach tensed when you felt his hot fingers rubbing soothing circles against it. He pressed you further against him, making you feel the growing length against your ass. You bit your lip, stopping yourself from whimpering too early.

"The way your nipples are perking up so nicely for me in this shirt that's practically transparent is driving me nuts." He snaked his hand further up your shirt, brushing the skin underneath your breasts gently. Your breath caught in your throat as you gripped the counter tightly.

Your panties were clinging to your pussy uncomfortably, you could feel the material getting wetter with each passing second. You tried rubbing your thighs together for some friction, but Dabi wasn't having any of it. He clicked his tongue out of irritation, the hand on your hips falling towards your inner thighs, parting your legs. His hold was strong enough to prevent you from rubbing your thighs together, you wanted to whine when he didn't place his hand right where you wanted them.

Just a little higher.

"I asked you a question doll." He spoke into your hair, taking a deep breath from the rooibos shampoo you used. The smell turned him on even more.

"W-what question?" You whimpered, resting the back of your head onto his chest, sighing out as he brushed the pads of his thumb against your hardened nipples.

"I don't like repeating myself." He growled, pinching your nipples harshly causing you to whimper pathetically in his arms. He continue to tweak at your nipples roughly before groping your breast and fondling it the way he liked.

"Dabi... " You mewled.

"Don't. Don't say my name like that." He gave your nipples a warning pinch.

You bucked up into his hips, involuntarily grinding against his cock. The swollen head rubbing in between your ass despite the jeans restricting him. Making him choke back a groan.

Dabi was just as impatient as was it in his nature to tease. He took his hand away from between your thighs to quickly lick the tips of his index and middle finger, bringing them back towards your aching pussy. You were such a good girl, not once taking the opportunity to touch yourself or rub your thighs together.

He wasted no time in pushing your thong to the side, sucking a deep breath through his teeth when he rubbed his fingers through your slit collecting the thick moisture gathered there. You always got so wet for him.

After coating his fingers in your arousal, he moved his fingers towards the bundle of nerves that had been pulsing ever since he rocked up at your house.

You let out a breathy yes, eyes rolling to the back of your head as Dabi rubbed your clit just the way you liked, grinding it down in tight circles that had your toes curling. He pinched at your clit piercing, knowing how much you liked it when he played with the metal and how easily it could make you gush for him. The pleasure was overwhelming and had you feeling light headed.

Without warning, Dabi plunged those same two fingers into your tight pussy. You bit back a scream as your body jerked and writhed against him. Hips chasing after his fingers as they thrusted deeper into your spongy walls, the palm of his hand grinding against your clit. The stimulation was too much for you.

"Fuck!" You shouted out, bringing your hand down to his, gripping on his wrist tightly so he could go deeper and faster. He could get you cumming around his two fingers alone, he didn't need more than that.

"Dabi please." You begged.

"Please what?" He asked curiously, knowing exactly what you so deeply craved.

The hand around your breast disappeared. He reached for his jeans so he could unzip it and pull it down. A short relieved sigh left his lips once his jeans were pulled down his thighs, just enough to free his heavy cock from all that pressure. He gripped his cock in his free hand, he wanted to feel you around him so bad but he had to be patient, as much as he hated it.

Dabi watched you from underneath his dark lashes, the way your body responded to him in delicious squirms and moans drove him mad. He added pressure to your clit, grinding his palm hard against it. Your body rocked back into him for more, a high pitched wail leaving those beautiful lips he couldn't wait to claim.

"I want you ins- shit shit shit!" He watched your body shaking silently against him, thighs trembling, pussy clamping so hard around his fingers he hissed as he pulled them out and quickly replaced them with his angry, pulsing cock.

"Fuck." Dabi let out breathlessly in your ear, feeling you clench and gush around him as you came. He wasn't prepared for this. To feel you around him after five long excruciating months. He loved the way your pussy gripped onto him after all these years, as if it was the first time all over again.

Dabi pulled your head back by your chin so he could look into your eyes as he drove you into your next orgasm. Ignoring your pained whimpers of pleasure from being overstimulated like this. He dragged his cock slowly out of you, holding back a gasp as he slid out of your warm walls, missing the snug warmth around him, and then slammed right back into you without warning, making you cry out.

Your ass bounced against his thighs as he gained momentum, making him cuss underneath his breath at the squelching noises that came along with it and the mess you made on his jeans. Your hands fell down to Dabi's thighs, gripping them tightly but not tight enough to leave your mark, as he practically seethed from the power trip of fucking you after so long.

The drag of his cock inside you had you nearing your second orgasm so soon, and with the animalistic grunts Dabi let out, you could tell he wasn't too far behind. He usually lasted longer than this, way longer, he underestimated how much he truly missed you it seemed.

"Dhabi... Phleasinside... Please!" He could barely make out what you were saying, a stroke to his ego at fucking you so silly to a point you couldn't use your words properly.

"What doll? Use your words." There was a slight wheeze to his words, your pussy clenching so tightly around him had him close to losing his breath.

"Please cum inside... fuck your cum inside me please. Please!" You momentarily gained back your speech long enough to form coherent sentences. You screwed your eyes shut as you felt your orgasm nearing.

His grip on your hips tightened immensely, no doubt leaving his fingerprints there for days. He wouldn't last much longer and you knew it, the telltale signs of his thighs tensing and the urgent bucking of his hips told you he was close.

Dabi let out a groan so deep from the very depths of his stomach, goosebumps began to rise on your sore arms from the intense sound alone. He forced your head to the back so he could kiss you as he came, making a sound so damn carnal it had you cumming alongside him.

The two of you came together in perfect harmony, your pussy clenching down so hard on his cock it had you lurching forward from the force, breaking the heated kiss. Long strings of hot semen shot up into your awaiting womb, dripping down your thighs when it had no more room to go.

Your breathing was uneven, your chest and throat burning from your screaming session. Forever grateful that you didn't live by your parents anymore, back when you had to muffle all your moans from when you and Dabi used to fool around even back then.

He was no better, his breathing shallow and unsteady.

Dabi didn't pull out just yet, savoring the moment of the two of you being joined as one. His fingers traced the long line running down your back, not caring how sweaty you were as he kissed your shoulders gently in gratitude. After awhile he pulled his softened cock out of you, groaning from the oversensitivity while you winced from the evidence of what took place running down your shaky thighs.

The high from sex quickly came crashing down on him. He wasn't here to have sex with you, it just happened. Guilt began to chew at his mind from what he was about to do next, but the way you looked at him, with those caring eyes someone like him didn't deserve, made him drag this moment out far longer than it should've been.

He wasn't a ''now rather than later'' kind of guy after all.

"Let's get you cleaned up." His stomach churned when he watched you look up at him in confusion.

That's right, Dabi never cared about aftercare or basking in the afterglow. He thought it was unnecessary, but couldn't say he hasn't wondered how it would feel to have you running your fingers through his hair and humming childhood lullabies the way his mother used to do to him.

A pang shot out to his heart at the thought of his mother, quickly stomping those traitorous thoughts from making an appearance tonight. Not now, he thought. Returning his full attention towards you and your warm hand grasping his own. Squeezing it gently to bring him back down to earth.

Usually after he was done he'd leave, not that you were bitter about it or anything. That's just how it was. A small smirk would grace his two-toned lips with a "See you later" sent your way before he left your apartment. It was a little tradition shared between you two, the first time he said it you were still 16, applying ointment to his injuries after you found him in your parents backyard. He abruptly left without so much as a thank you, only offering those three words.

Now whenever he left, he'd always say those words to ease your brewing anxiety in promise of seeing you next time. And he never broke that promise.

He didn't speak to you about it, but you could tell he risked everything by coming to your place every once in awhile. You were not ignorant to the things Dabi did, some part of you knew he was involved with some shady things. Things you didn't want to bring up with him.

A man didn't get that many scars in their 23 years of life by being a good samaritan.

You reached your shower, stepping in while Dabi adjusted the settings to both of your liking, joining you once he was satisfied. You've come to love the heat as much as him, hot showers always reminded you of the flame user.

The water ran hot against the both of you. You looked up at Dabi, surprised to see him watching you. For a short moment, you held his gaze. Wondering what could possibly be running through his head that had him looking so defeated.

He wanted to tell you then and there that he'd have to leave for good this time. The League weren't people to be taken lightly, especially with that unhinged brat as their leader. He wouldn't be surprised if the creepy fucker was the type to kill the loved ones of people in order to maintain compliance.

But Dabi kept his mouth, and reached for your blue loofah instead. Squirting some of your lemon scented body wash onto it, scrunching it up so it could get more soapy. He worked in silence, scrubbing your body gently with utmost care and concentration.

Hell would freeze over before Dabi allows anyone to touch a single hair on your body. He didn't care who it was, even if it was the League members, he'd make damn sure their life would end with them being nothing but dirt underneath his shoe. He had to stop coming over after tonight, he was heading into dangerous, unknown territory afterall and he'd rather avoid killing the people he needed to exploit. His plans were finally at his fingers tips, and he wasn't about to throw them away over sex.

No, it was more than sex, no matter how many times he tried convincing himself that he was only here for one reason, he'd just end up fooling himself. At night when he'd look for shelter on the streets, when his quirk couldn't keep him warm the way he wanted, you'd plague his mind with your sweet smile and honey voice. Scolding him for not taking better care of himself and that he could crash at your place if he needed to get back on his feet.

That's why Dabi stopped scrubbing you just as you began to relax at the newfound comfort. You felt his hands tense against your body, making you turn around in concern.

"Hey. Is everything okay?" You were so concerned about him, his chest tightened. Why did you care so much about someone like him. You were so ignorant and stupid. Could you not see the blood on his hands from all the innocent people he convinced himself he killed out of pleasure. It infuriated him to no end, but he could never get mad at you. Not really. He tried pushing you away before, but you were as stubborn as him so he gave up on that method.

Your shoulders fell from his lack of response.

You were too grown to be playing guessing games with him, it was cute entertaining it before, but not now. Not when you were just coming to terms with... with what exactly?

You had an inkling of what was going on, but didn't want to push further. If he was going to tell you, he would. So you asked the next best thing.

"When will you be back?" You asked hopefully, water running down your face. He flashed you a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. His fingers brushing your wet hair out of your face. He learned in, placing a soft kiss against your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment.

"You're so important to me and I don't want you getting hurt because of my suicidal actions." Was what Dabi wanted to say, but he didn't.

So Dabi did what Dabi did best, deflect from the situation and push his true feelings down. Just when you thought you were making progress (as small as that progress was) in this twisted relationship you had with him, you were right where you started.

"I don't know when, I can't tell you exactly. But just know it won't be anytime soon." Or ever.

"Okay. Just... just stay safe." You whispered, placing your hand above his chest, where his heart was. You could feel the way his heart was beating ferociously against his chest, like a caged animal.

He brushed his thumb against your cheek, wanting to remember how soft your skin felt underneath his fingertips, wanting to remember everything from tonight before he left for good. He gave you one last kiss, this time on your lips. A quick peck that said a thousand words, and got out of the shower getting ready to leave. You stood still underneath the scorching heat of the shower, for the first time in years it actually made you flinch in pain.

You watched as he dried himself off with your towel, not paying any attention to you as his hand reached for the doorknob. Much to your relief, he spared you a brief glance that said everything you needed to know in that moment.

"See you later."

It's been ten months since you last saw him, almost a year. And in those ten months you've moved out of the city, got a new job and apartment better than the last. You were happy, content with how life has been treating you lately. Your skin was healthier and glowing, you made time for the gym and started toning your body to your liking. Everything was perfect.

It's been ten months since you last saw him, until you finally did.

There Dabi was, or as it said on the news headline, Touya Todoroki, all over your television. Standing above the ruins of a burning building. His clothes were torn, and his body full of cuts and bruises. You didn't even notice the white hair until the news reporter pointed it out.

There was a ringing in your ear as the camera zoomed in on what looked like a teenage boy emerging from one of the ruins, sporting dual coloured hair. Shouto Todoroki was his name they said, Dabi's younger brother who was a 1st year student at UA High School.

Dabi burst into those beautiful blue flames that you admired so much, while the young boy's left side burst into flames of red and orange. They appeared to get ready to fight, the entire country watching with bated breath.

And then everything happened so fast after that.

You don't remember when the tears started falling, but you do remember the loud sob that tore out of your throat as you watched Dabi's flames engulf him from over-exerting his quirk. He fell on his knees, face twisting as he screamed in pain. You couldn't hear what was happening as the mic from the camera crew melted from the overbearing heat of the two flame users, but you could tell that the pain he was going through was excruciating.

You didn't even recognize your own scream when his body swayed as his flames ate away at his flesh. The staples holding his two skin types together, melting into his flesh. You felt sick to your stomach.

Dry sobs continued to leave your sore throat as you watched the man you've known since you were 16, the man you were afraid to admit that you loved so deeply and finally came to terms with it after six years, slowly dying on national television as the entire world watched and didn't do anything about it.

The anchorman's voice was muffled as you watched your lover fall down, face first into the concrete. His body immobile. Your throat clogged up in pain, all you could do now was cry and watch as his little brother tried reviving him using CPR. A failed attempt, but what else could a 15 year old with zero experience in the medical field do.

A part of you felt like it was being ripped out as you watched heroes rush to the scene trying to pry the young boy away from his older brother. You watched as he pushed them away baring his teeth at them, tears streaming down his young face. You watched as a stretcher rolled by, two medics picking up Dabi's burnt corpse and putting him in that black body bag, zipping it up and slowly moving away from the scene.

The screen went blank, offering nothing but silence as you came to terms with what just happened, before the news anchor popped up, a nauseating smile on his pinched face.

"... The villain Dabi has finally been defeated by his own quirk. A win for hero society against their fight with the villains!!"

You were too numb to tell how many hours passed by as you sat there all alone in your room.

While the country celebrated his defeat, your entire world came crumbling down.

You would never be able to feel his warm hands cup your cheeks, pecking you all over the face while he praised you. You would never get to kiss him again, the type of kisses that left you weak in the knees. You would never get to do things with him that you always wanted to do, simple things such as falling asleep in his arms after a long day of work.

But most of all, you would never hear those three special words of his again, the words you didn't even realize until now, were his way of proclaiming his love for you.

"See you later."

#dabi #touya todoroki #touya #touya x reader #dabi smut #dabi x y/n #bnha smut #bnha imagines #manga spoilers #dabi headcanons #dabi fanfiction #mha fanfictions #anime #mha spoilers

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winslctrg · 4 years ago

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I Love You, With A Touch Of Tragedy And Quite Madly. (Mildred Ratched x Reader)

summary: a regular day at work turns out to be not so regular

a/n: this is for @sassicaismysupreme surpriseeee i was ur secret fic writer. Not important, but this is my first fic ever so i hope it is any good!

warnings: slapping, angst!

Your relationship with Mildred was a fairytale. You were all sunshine and blue skies. Though some clouds might be there with the occasional rainy day, there were rarely thunderstorms.

Mildred only added to your sunshine. She has been like some sort of rainbow hanging above your little heart island, making it a happier place. Rainbows are rare and special, and that’s also how you looked at Mildred.

It had always been happy. You were used to it like that, and you liked it that way. No complications, no anxiety, no fears, no anger. Mildred was some sort of safe haven where you just never had any problems. That's probably why the situation affected you so much.

It was one of those blue sky, happy sunny days. You opened your eyes, closed them again against the rays that fell right through your curtains. You couldn't be annoyed for long though, because your head immediately met your sleeping girlfriend's.

Your mouth fell into a soft smile upon seeing her. She always seemed to have that effect on you, no matter where you guys were. It once even happened at a funeral, and Mildred had to give u a soft warning glare. Not that that helped though, it only made you smile more. She made you smile. At home, at work, in the grocery store, on the street, at parties, anywhere at anytime. She was quite simply everything to you.

You pressed a soft kiss on her temple “Wake up darling, we’ll be late.” You whispered, before running your hand softly through her hair. The sun made her features even more gorgeous than they usually were, accentuating her sharp cheekbones and her beautiful big lips. Your hand left her hair and ran softly from the forming frown between her eyebrows all the way down to her nose before putting it on her now blushing cheeks.

“Goodmorning sunshine.” You giggled. A soft smile spread on Mildred’s face as she finally opened her eyes. Her brown eyes looked nearly gold because of the sun. You begged. Wished to stay like this forever, but the alarm went off, pulling you both out of your trances. You grinned at her before you sat up and grabbed her wrist. She positioned herself right in your arms. You let your nose slip into her beautiful reddish-brown hair, smelling her expensive shampoo.

You never got used to moments like these. They made your heart race, and you were sure it also grew 3 times bigger. “I love you” you whispered into her hair, as if making a promise to yourself that your heart would forever beat for her. “I love you too honey.” She said before yawning. “Aww are you sleepy baby?” you teased. “Did i wear you out last night?” your said, and you winked at her. Mildred glared at you, but you could see the pink tones covering her ears and cheeks. You kissed her softly, before pulling away again but resting your forehead against hers, noses touching. “We have to get ready.” You whispered. “I know.” She replied. She put her soft hands on your cheeks, as her long slender thumbs started stroking the area right beside your nose. “I love you.” You said again, just for the sake of reassuring your promise to her. She knew, because she smiled and when you looked deep into her warm brown eyes you saw that same promise. “I love you too, lets get dressed.”

You were in the car to work, both of you working at the hospital. Mildred drove, always. You did try once, but then nearly hit a car because you were too busy staring at her. You didn’t mind not driving, it meant you could stare at her without the posibillity of killing an entire family and their dog.

As you both arrived on the parking lot, you made sure your hat was on right and straightened Mildred’s too. You glanced around, saw nobody and kissed her. It always cleared your mind, kissing her. It seemed to draw out any negative feelings and fill your head with love, much like a love potion.

You both stepped out of the car and went to your respective entrances. You gave Mildred a small smile before parting.

Work went slowly, but good. You were good friends with Huck, and he made time speed up just a little faster, plus seeing Mildred at lunch really made you optimistic again.

After lunch, Mildred called you and Huck to a treatment room. There was a girl there, around your age, and she looked frightened.

“Nurse Finnigan, nurse y/l/n, this is miss Ruth Davis. She’s here because of unexplainable feelings towards women, which is simply unacceptable, don’t you guys think?” You pushed up an eyebrow and looked at Huck, who also had a confused expression on his face. “Well?” Mildred asked, a slight tinge to her tone now. Huck cleared his throat. “Yeah uh sure, unacceptable.”

You, however shook your head. “I don’t think she should be tortured simply for liking women. I don’t see a problem with it honestly.” You said as calmly as you could. You met Hucks gaze, saw his shocked eyes but also his slight grin. You averted your gaze to meet Mildreds eyes, saw a flash of panic. Panic? No, now it was definitely anger. “Nurse y/l/n thats incredibly inappropriate. I suggest you find another job if you think that way.” She said, her voice sounded a little too forced for your liking. “I’d gladly do, but um I know you don’t have a problem with it either.” You said and moved your head to look at the girl. “She doesn’t,” you told her. “I’d know-“

Before you had the time to finish your sentence, you felt a hard burning on your cheek and you stumbled tot he ground. She had hit you. Your mind was running 800 miles per second. You stared back up at her with tears threatening to come out of your eyes.

“I should’ve known it wasn’t real, right? That this was all a big game to you. That you didn’t actually care about me.” You whispered and you tried to lean on your shakey hands. “I’m sorry for believing you didn’t actually hate me, I’m sorry you had to keep your act up for so long. I just thought-“ your voice broke mid sentence. “I thought we were happy.” You blinked. Didn’t, couldn’t look at her. You opened your mouth to speak again, but instead a sob made it’s way out. You shook your head feverently and ran past her. “Don’t come after me.” You murmered as your shoulders touched. Away. Away. Away.

You didn’t know how long you had ran for, you wondered how you had even kept on going that far. Breathing was becoming, air scraping it’s way through your lungs, making them bleed. Doesn’t matter, you told yourself. It definitley wasn’t bleeding as badly as your heart

You only ever wanted to be hers. To watch the sunset with her ever night in the summer, and sit by the ocean just because you could. To give her hugs for warmth when she had underestimated the cool sting of the autumn air. To hold her hand on walks during the snow in the winter, and buy her the perfect christmas presents. To pick her some blooming daisies and lavender and violets in the spring and make a bouqet, just for her. You wanted to make her feel wanted.

You came to a halt as you realized where you had run to. Her house. Because that was home. She was. Your face crumpled and you started sobbing. You rand to the nearest wall to steady yourself, before giving up and letting yourself slide down the wall. You let your head fall in your hands and buried your shaking fingers in your hair.

“Yes, I’m scared of you! You hit me!” you screamed out, voice breaking halfway through out of frustration, anger and love. That one was hard to admit, but you knew you were mad because you loved her. Because you had spent months making a flower garden with all of your memories, and all that you knew of her, and all of your feelings, and she had just set it on fire.

“Look y/n I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do.” She said. Her voice was soft and you tried to listen for any sign of a lie. You couldn’t find any. You whipped your head up, glaring at her with such passion that even you were scared of what you were capable of. “You should’ve thought about that before you put you whole palm on my face, don’t you think?” you snarled. You saw her chin tremble, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “You know, you always tell your patients not to be afraid, but i don’t think there’s anyone that’s more scared than you. I know you are, don’t even pretend you aren’t. I know you.” You paused for a second, took a shaky breath in, cursed at yourself internally. “You might not know it, but I do. 4 months don’t just go by, Mildred. Neither for you nor for me.”

You saw a tear slip out of her eye. “I’m so sorry y/n. I do know. I do care. I’m sorry.” She breathed, and you could practically hear your heart break. “I don’t know what to do, but I do care. I can’t-“ her sentence got broken up by a big intake of breath, before a loud sob escaped her mouth. “I was so scared.” She cried. Your eyebrow pushed up. You should've known she was afraid, should've known she never agreed to do the therapy, should’ve known you burnt your own flowers the minute you started talking. But you were confused, and you felt hurt and you reacted on that.

You didn't even think about her feelings, if you were going to be honest with yourself. You wanted to feel guilty, but deep down you knew you couldn’t blame yourself. She hurt you, she hit you and that wasn’t going to be forgotten in a heartbeat.

But you loved her. More than anything. And so you tried to pick up all of the broken pieces, yours and hers, and tried to glue all of it into one big love ball.

“I’m not gonna say that its okay, Mildred, because it’s not and you know that.” You started. You saw her eyes scarily looking up into yours. You took a deep breath in before continuing. “But this doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore.” Her eyes watered again. “It doesn’t?” You shook your head. “No it doesn’t, but you try doing that again and I won’t give you another chance.” Mildred shook her head violently. “Alright, come on, we’ll go home.”

That night before you guys went to bed, you approached her.

“Mildred,” you said as she was going to the bathroom. She turned around, her beautiful curls falling just right over her shoulders. “Yeah?” she said. You smiled. “I love you.” She hid a small blush while turning back around. “I love you too darling.” She replied. You smiled to yourself. Though this was too big of an issue to just blow over, you knew you and Mildred would work through it. Because you loved her, even if it was tragedy sometimes.

#mildred ratched #mildred ratched x reader #ratched #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader

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sad-sweet-cowboah · 5 years ago

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Tricksters

Summary: On a hot day, you decide to take a dip at a local secluded lake. When Arthur comes to join you, the two of you begin to have an interesting conversation before an untimely interruption.

Warnings: Swearing. nudity, and smut. Ya know, the norm.

Word Count: 7411

A/N: This is the first place prize from my 2k followers giveway! As requested by @lindleyjo, she wanted a creative way of how reader interacts with a younger Arthur.

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Heat.

A sweltering, heavy blanket of humidity settled upon the land after a powerful thunderstorm raged through the previous night. Everyone within camp had slept uncomfortably, tossing and turning in a desperate attempt to shake the crushing atmosphere. If you weren’t out in the open, you yourself would have stripped naked just to have a few hours of peaceful slumber.

With the morning sun peeking over the horizon, the camp’s sleepy members arose and began with the morning chores and duties. After getting dressed you wandered out into the open, observing your surroundings. Some of the women were already working on chores, scrubbing shirts or washing dishes from the night before with Susan Grimshaw at the helm. You paused once you saw her, knowing full well she’d put you to work the moment she realized you had nothing better to do.

You turned heel in the wet grass, hurrying toward the opposite side of camp in hopes to look busy. Toward the edge of camp were a few bags of feed strewn about, and a perfect way to keep yourself from Susan’s radar. You bent over to pick one up, nearly buckling as its awkward weight shifted upon you. Still, you’d managed to place it over your shoulder.

Just as you began to step forward, you heard someone call your name.

The feed sack blocked your view, though you recognized that voice instantly. Arthur Morgan. A young and otherwise cocky gang member and a favorite among Dutch and Hosea. Shuffling your feet to face him, he appeared in your view quicker than you’d expected.

“You, uh, need help with that?” he asked with a somewhat sheepish tone.

You smiled at him. He was always offering to help you with heftier tasks, even though you’ve told him multiple times you could handle it quite well. As boisterous as he was, he was always polite with you and the other women of the camp. Sometimes it seemed as if he gave you a little more attention, unless it was just your imagination. “I’ve got it, Arthur,” you assured him, shifting yet again as the feed inside began to weigh down uncomfortably. “Thank you.”

“Thought you’d say that,” he responded with a soft chuckle, bending down to grab another. “Thought I’d offer anyway.”

“I know,” you giggled, walking around the edge of camp to where the horses rested. “Truth is, I’m just avoiding being a wash maid today. Too hot for that.”

“So you opted for heavy liftin’,” Arthur remarked, stepping by you to place his bag upon a hay bale. The horses nickered excitedly at their arrival. “Don’t seem like it’d be any cooler.”

“As long as I look busy, then Susan won’t put me to work.” You pointed out, dumping your feed bag alongside his.

Arthur dusted his hands and snickered. “’S'pose that’s fair.”

You straightened up, catching his eye briefly. The summer sun reflected in his bright blue eyes, layering a golden hue amongst the oceanic orbs. He averted his gaze once it lasted a second too long. “Er, need anything else?”

You opened your mouth, only to be interrupted by someone calling Arthur’s name. It was Dutch Van der Linde himself. The two of you turned toward his gruff voice, noting the gang leader standing by his tent, standing casually with a lit cigar resting between his lips. Hosea stood next to him, looking on expectantly.

Arthur turned to look at you again. “Never mind, duty calls. See you later?”

Giving him a short nod, you bid him goodbye while he stalked off to join the two men. They were too far away for you to listen to their conversation properly, yet you caught wind Dutch had some grand scheme planned that required Arthur’s hand. A bank or stage coach robbery perhaps. You considered volunteering yourself to come along, the thought of big money was enough of an incentive to take your mind off the heat.

“Hey! Can I come along?” a new voice tore through your thoughts. High-pitched and gritty with the transition to manhood. You watched as John Marston came galloping up to the three men.

Dutch gave a hearty chuckle and reached out to ruffle John’s mop of hair. “Sorry son, just us three.”

“You’ll come along for the next one,” Hosea promised as John opened his mouth to protest. “It’s a small job, we don’t need an extra bodyguard.”

Arthur’s lips moved, most likely mumbling to himself. Whatever he said however, John’s face turned indignant. His body tensed like a predator about to spring on its prey. Hosea stepped in between the two immediately.

“Easy now,” he said with amusement, although gave Arthur a stern glare. “Don’t tease him, Arthur.”

Arthur only rolled his eyes and folded his arms. Since John had been brought in by Dutch and Hosea a few years ago, he and Arthur have almost always been at odds. Both headstrong in their own ways, they acted more like brothers; even when Arthur adamantly denied it. John was still young and immature, thus he’d stay in camp more often than not. He huffed and stormed off, grumbling to himself while Arthur just watched with a smirk on his face.

The three of them took their leave shortly after, saddling and mounting their horses before galloping away. You watched as they disappeared from view, sighing and turning to face camp once again. It was tempting to jump onto your own horse and follow; a wishful thought.

“Y/N!” Susan’s sharp voice pierced the air. “Get your butt over here and pick up a dish rag!”

You stifled a groan, knowing you were standing idle for just a little too long from your own volition. Before Susan could come over and ream your ass, you headed over and picked up an unused rag to help the others.

After a good hour of washing dishes and mending holes in jeans, you were free. You straightened up, stretching out your aching back and cracking your stiffened hands. Sweat pooled in uncomfortable places, soaking through awkward parts of your garments. Wiping a layer of sweat from your brow, you needed relief.

Stepping into the shade of the tree line, you breathed out a sigh. Though still humid, being away from direct sunlight certainly helped. Getting away also prevented Grimshaw from finding even more work for you to do. You leaned against a trunk and fanned yourself, wishing nothing more than to dip yourself in some cold water right now.

You paused, remembering there was a lake not too far away. You’d ridden by it a handful of times, saw a fisherman once or twice. Perhaps the heat was enough to drive away any unwanted eyes. With a plan in mind, you headed back to get your horse.

The woods provided some relief to your otherwise overheated state. Thick leaves and multiple branches allowed some cover from the sun. As you trotted along a small path, a slight breeze carried through, rustling the dense green shrubbery and provided a cooling sensation to your exposed skin. The lake wasn’t too far now, and you urged your horse into a lope in impatience. Up ahead, the canopy broke away to reveal a sheet of water gently disturbed by another breeze. Glimmering beautifully under the bright sun, the surface appeared inviting. The hard packed soil and bushes soon turned into a sandy beach. Gently pulling your mare to a halt, you dismounted and stepped onto the softly shifting terrain. Your gaze scanned the circumference of the lake, only stopping to find you were alone.

Perfect.

You tied your steed to a nearby tree before eagerly shedding your clothes. You made a home for them on the rocks to dry out the sweat before you padded toward the shore. Gentle waves lapped up toward you, kissing your toes with a near frosty sensation. One foot in front of another with a slow step, you were soon embraced from the waist up. The dramatic temperature difference was almost shocking at first, fine hairs raising along your skin. It only took a moment for your body to adjust, and you sunk in further. Wrapped in the soothing cold, you reached your arms out and began to swim.

A few minutes passed by of you lazily floating through the calm waters, relaxed and uncaring of the rest of the world. You were perfectly content in that moment, free of gritty chores and the judgmental or curious eyes of others. You could spend the entire day out here, as long as no one else would ruin your peace.

Time soon became lost to you amongst the calm surface, though you couldn’t care less. Being out here was much better than drowning in your own sweat back at camp.

A thought crossed your mind. You wondered if Arthur, Dutch, and Hosea returned from their heist, and if it went successfully. Your curiosity almost had you swimming to shore to find out.

Yet with the sun still high and the sky and the air still stifling, you didn’t want to move. You’d find out later anyway.

Amongst the distant sounds of nature, you caught the shrill whinny of your mare. You immediately turned your attention to her, the horse’s head high and ears pricked forward, facing the forest. She nickered into the trees. Something had caught her attention.

Seconds later, you could hear a responding whinny, further away and still out of sight. Your heart lurched and you ducked low, keeping your eyes an inch above the water to watch. With your gun and knife still on shore, you had no way to defend yourself.

Movement in the trees formed itself into a horse and its rider, stepping from the shady canopy into the open. It were as if the Gods heard your thoughts. The beautiful coat shimmering in the sunlight belonged to Boadicea, and Arthur’s prominent face hidden under the brim of his hat. The two mares nickered to each other in greeting.

Relief flooded through you as you watched Arthur look at your horse, then glance left and right in confusion. You had to make yourself known now, lest he thought you were in trouble or worse. He hadn’t spotted your clothes yet. Despite your nudity, it didn’t bother you to be this way in his presence. With how long you’ve been a part of the gang, you’ve been around him in your undergarments multiple times. You were comfortable enough around him to know he wouldn’t attempt anything crass.

Pulling yourself up to just above chest level, you called out, “Arthur!”

His head shot up to the sound of your voice. “Y/N? Whatchoo doin’ out here?”

“Cooling off,” you responded, swimming closer to him. “What about you?”

The closer you got, you began to realize he was splattered in blood. Though the majority of it painted his vest and pants, you noticed patterns streaking across his exposed forearms, neck, and face. It wasn’t an unusual sight to see, knowing how dangerous this lifestyle was.

This tugged at your mind. Had he gotten injured in any way? “Are you hurt?” you ask.

“Er,” his gaze swept across the shore, and finally landed on the rock which your clothes lay upon. Eyes growing wide, you could see the rosy tint in his cheeks as he looked away. Clearing his throat, he answered, “Blood ain’t mine. Actually, I was gonna come wash up out here, since I can’t exactly go back to town n’ do it… Guess this lake’s already occupied.” He tucked his head down sheepishly.

His answer allowed you to smile in relief. Though you understood his reasoning to come out here, he was one of the few you wouldn’t mind sharing this space with. No reason to force him to go elsewhere. “No it ain’t,” you responded. “There’s plenty of room for the both of us.”

“N-no, you ain’t even decent,” he stammered, biting his lip from underneath the brim of his hat. “I’ll just go –”

“Arthur,” you interjected. “It’s fine, I promise. It’s a big lake, not like we’ll be on top of one another. I don’t care.”

He refused to look at you directly, instead cast his attention across the lake in deep thought. A full moment passed before he sighed and dismounted Boadicea. “Guess I can’t really argue that…” he murmured. “Can you jus’…turn ‘round please?”

You nodded, smiling a little at his modesty. Turning yourself around and swimming further out, you waited until you heard him stepping into the water before facing him again.

He stood in waist deep water, arms held to the front of his body. The somewhat clear water was dark enough for you not to see below his navel. You’d only seen Arthur shirtless a handful of times, and each moment of stolen subtle glances you appreciated more than the last. He was certainly built nicely, his frame decorated with just the right amount of muscle.

“Don’t stare please,” he mumbled.

You abided to his wish, instead swimming a little further out with only your head above the surface. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him beginning to bathe himself, albeit awkwardly. You had to wonder how often he would have a bath girl do the work for him. Or perhaps it was your presence skewing him? Arthur was usually arrogant and carried himself with confidence, without a care in the world of who thought what of him. It was only in the presence of those close to him did he show a different side, and you were no exception.

After a few moments of silence, the questions from earlier arose in your mind. Maybe it would be less awkward for him if you were to initiate some casual conversation. Shifting to cast a glance his way, you called out. “So how’d the job go?”

He avoided your eyes, keeping his fixated on his forearms, running his hands along to remove the stains. The water soon tinged crimson with blood pooling around him. He hesitated for a moment. “Pretty good, actually. We made out with two thousand dollars.”

Two thousand? That certainly was much more than you were expecting to hear. Out of every heist you’ve done, you’d never made it out with more than a couple hundred. “You must be pretty happy with yourself then.”

His eyes flickered to you for a brief second. “Yeah,” he agreed with a slight chuckle. “Was much more too, only had a short time to gather what we could ‘fore the law came down on us.”

“That’s a shame,” you commented. “Sounds like you needed an extra hand after all.” You remembered that little conversation John had with them.

He turned his full attention to you now, however still avoided looking at your face. “John’s too young n’ headstrong for bigger jobs right now.” He said pointedly.

“I meant me. I was gonna volunteer myself until I saw Dutch deny John.”

Arthur blinked in surprise. “Oh, uh…why didn’t ya anyway?”

You shrugged, leaning back a little to stare at the sky. “I figured he’d say no anyway. And I know you three are perfectly capable without an extra hand.”

He hummed softly in response. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “I don’t think he’d say no. I woulda vouched for ya anyway.”

You smiled at his comment, lifting your head to look at him again. “Thanks, but I’m sure John would have been pissed if he heard that.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “Ah, he’s still a kid. He’d get over it.”

“True,” you agreed with a giggle of your own. “Think we would have gotten away with more if I’d come along?”

Arthur gave you a crooked smile. “I think we’d get away with everything they had if you’d come along.”

You couldn’t deny that. Almost every job you’d attended ended in a successful plunder, thus earning praise from everyone in camp. You took pride in your skill even though you didn’t boast it. Dutch and Hosea saw you as one of the most productive members of the gang, of course they would have been happy for you to come along. You reminded yourself to volunteer next time despite what little Johnny Marston thought. “Guess I’ll volunteer next time, since you boys obviously need my help.” You smirked.

Arthur scoffed in response. “Hey now, that was uncalled for.” He laughed, sinking further to almost shoulder height.

You smiled at him, daring to swim a little closer. “It’s true, ya know. Pretty sure any of those other heists wouldn’t have gone as smooth if I hadn’t been there.” You commented jokingly.

“You sayin’ we ain’t as good?” Arthur asked with a quirked eyebrow, although he couldn’t hide the amusement plain on his face.

“I’m saying that some things need a woman’s touch, even robbing.” You teased, grinning widely at him.

He rolled his eyes, stretching his arms out to propel himself slowly through the water. “Think I changed my mind, with talk like that.”

It was your turn to scoff. You knew he was only fooling with you, though while he was distracted, you took a chance to raise your arm up and splash a bit of water in his direction. Splattering across his face and head, he yelped in surprise and flinched away, raising his arms in defense.

“Damnit, Y/N!” he huffed, wiping his face of the droplets. “The hell was that for?”

You chortled in response, swinging your arms behind you to swim further away. “Don’t be angry, you’re already wet!”

Despite a prick of annoyance shadowing his features, the way his lips curled into a smile told you he certainly wasn’t completely irritated. The furrow in his brow relaxed before he spoke, “You better be careful, next time I won’t be so forgivin’.”

You paused to look at him. “Oh, that’s some big talk, Arthur Morgan!” you exclaimed, changing your direction to swim toward him once again. You stopped just a few feet away, the closest you’ve gotten so far. Shooting him a smirk, you continued, “What would the scary outlaw do to me?”

“Somethin’ not nice,” he answered, the smile never leaving his face. “Don’t think you wanna find out.”

Those words posed a challenge. As childish as this was, you weren’t going to deny yourself a little bit of fun for the time being. The two of you were still shoulder height above the water. With his wide frame and thick torso, he could have easily outmatched you on solid ground.

You launched yourself forward, throwing your hands out to slap them onto his shoulders. With a swift kick to propel your body further, it provided you with enough strength to shove him completely beneath the surface. His eyes widened in surprise and terror before his face was engulfed by the somewhat turbid lake. Immediately you yanked your hands away, spinning around as fast as the weight of the water would allow. Paddling quickly away from him, the sound of splashing and spluttering filling your ears. It would only be a matter of time before he caught up to you.

Hurrying toward the shore, his nearly beastly roar soon carried across the lake. He called out your name, and you didn’t dare to look back. He was growing closer, faster than you could reach the shallows. In a few short seconds, he was on you. Thick arms wrapping around your torso and stopping you in your tracks. You squealed out in surprise, automatically wanting to break free of his embrace. Though your struggle proved useless as he was far too strong.

“Arthur!” you cried out, voice shuddering with laughter. “C’mon, lemme go!”

“Ya pushed me, woman,” he growled in your ear. “Think I’d let ya get away with that?”

You still tried to wriggle from his grasp, only further proving it as a fruitless effort. “Was worth a shot!” you said proudly, smiling widely.

Expecting him to serve the same fate, you shut your eyes and waited for the inevitable cold grip of the water to engulf you completely. His hands grazed across your abdomen, halting at the curves of your waistline. He paused there, prompting your curiosity.

“Arthur?”

A mere second passed and the warmth of him disappeared. Waves shifted around you in the absence of him, and you turned in confusion. He had his back facing you.

“Arthur? What’s wrong?” You inquired.

“Weren’t right for me to do that,” he answered quietly. “‘M sorry.”

You frowned in confusion. Just moments ago the two of you were playing like two kids uncaring of the world. “You didn’t scare me if that’s what you meant.”

“No,” he said flatly. “The way I grabbed ya. You’re naked, weren’t proper. Stupid o’ me…”

That hadn’t even crossed your mind. The awareness had flung out the instant you began your tomfoolery, and even now you didn’t even care. “So what?” You scoff. “Nothing happened.”

“Still ain’t right,” he grumbled, moving closer to the shore. “I shouldn’ta –“

“Arthur,” your tone sharp. “We were playing around. I don’t care if I’m clothed or not, it didn’t bother me.”

He mumbled something you couldn’t hear. There was something else on his mind. In shallower waters, more of his torso was visible, streams of water cascading down his strong back, shining beautifully in the sunlight. Your breath nearly caught at the sight, but the minor distraction hadn’t removed your original intention.

“Arthur!” You called out. “Don’t leave yet!”

He froze in place.

“Talk to me, please. What’s really wrong?”

He hadn’t uttered a single word for a full minute. He breathed in again. “Don’t matter, Y/N. Sorry for bein’ handsy with you, I shoulda known better.”

He was lying. You knew him well enough by now. You sighed heavily and stood up completely, allowing your upper torso exposed to the air. Moving a little closer, you said softly, “look at me.”

You half expected him to be stubborn and walk away. Instead, he slowly turned, his eyes fixed away from your figure. Your heart began to hammer wildly in your chest. It hadn’t been too long since your state had been graced by a man’s presence. You were confident enough to not feel shy about yourself.

Especially not around Arthur.

His eyes slowly raked up your body, finally meeting your patient gaze.

Taking another deep breath, you murmured to him, “Talk to me.”

He swallowed audibly. “It ain’t important –”

“Don’t give me that. Tell me what’s wrong please,” you interjected. “Whatever it is, I won’t be mad.”

He appeared conflicted, chewing on his bottom lip in hesitation and tearing his eyes away. “It’s, uh…” he gritted his teeth and swore to himself. “Damn it, Morgan!” He ran his hand through his damp hair in what seemed to be frustration. “It’s you.” He finally uttered.

“Me?” You repeated in confusion. “What’s wrong with me?”

“No, nothin’ ain’t wrong with you, it’s…” he trailed off, becoming more flustered with each passing second. “I…I like you, Y/N.”

Out of everything in the world, it was a confession you hadn’t expected to hear. Blood roared in your ears as your heart did somersaults beneath your ribs. Arthur Morgan, liking you? Words couldn’t formulate in your mind as everything you wanted to say disappeared just as quickly as they appeared. You wanted to say something, anything, a simple response to accommodate for your lack of reaction.

He must’ve taken your silence negatively. A deep frown appeared on his face and his head hung in defeat. As he began to turn away, your hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. He stopped at an instant, slowly lifting his head to stare into your eyes once again.

His eyes. A beautiful blue-green hue twinkling brilliantly from the sunny reflection of the lake. You observed every feature of his face, from his thick sandy colored hair, down to his chiseled, stubbled jaw. Truly such a stubborn, ruthless beast who would land a bullet between a man’s eyes only to turn around and offer you help, and dance with you on cheerful occasions. Too many days you spent admiring him from afar. Too many nights spent in crowded saloons, picking up some random cowboy to swoon and come back not completely satisfied and wishing someone else would share that hotel bed with you. Too much time wasted attempting to deny your ever growing feelings for this man.

You would never admit it out loud that Arthur Morgan had your heart, long before he even knew it.

Your lips curved into a soft smile. Sliding your hand to capture his, you sensed his hesitation when you entwined his fingers with yours. “I don’t see that as a problem.” You whispered to him.

A slew of emotion flitted through his eyes in a long-lasting moment. His lips parted in attempts to speak, only to hear him release a disjointed breath. “It is,” he said sadly.

“Why?” you pressed.

“Mary.”

Mary. That one name that plagued your dreams for far too long. Arthur had been head over heels for this high society woman who frowned upon his lifestyle. She was polite every time you’d come across her, yet you saw clearly through her façade. How difficult it was to keep your mouth shut every time she peered at you with thinly veiled judgment. “Fuck Mary,” You spat it as if reciting the vilest of curses. He stared at you in surprise. “How long has it been, Arthur? Since she left you?”

“Uh, a few months…” he mumbled.

“A few months,” you repeated. “You hold no obligation over her anymore, Arthur. She’s gone. And I’m here now.”

“I know, I know,” he sighed heavily, dipping his head yet again. “It’s stupid o’ me to even keep thinkin’ ‘bout her. Every time I’ve tried tellin’ ya, I get stuck on her. It’s jus’ hard… I don’t wanna have her on my mind no more.”

The conflict hung heavy in his voice. You couldn’t be angry with him over this; he loved Mary for reasons you could never fathom. She left him to be wed and bound to live the life she dreamed, a decision that wounded Arthur deeper than any gunshot or stab of a knife.

With your free hand, you reached up to caress his jaw, prompting him to look at you. “Then let me help you forget,” you uttered.

He blinked in silence, his eyes never leaving yours. Seconds ticked by as you watched every inner thought of his displayed plain on his face. You were worried he’d refuse, until he gave a small, simple nod.

That was all you needed. Trapping his face gently between your palms, you tilted your head up, pulling yourself closer to lay a tender kiss upon his lips. A brief moment of tension felt soon released when he melted to you, kissing you with equally returned tenderness.

He relaxed completely to your touch. Large hands made their presence upon your hips, so loosely held against your bare skin. You encouraged him by taking one step closer. The heat radiating from his body negated the cool waters surrounding you. He moved to rest his palms upon your lower back, ever so hesitant to further progress. Releasing his face to favor his neck, your arms latched to him to pull your body flush with his.

Arthur’s breath hitched, his grip tightening in reaction. He parted his lips from yours, peering into your eyes. A sweet softness reflected in his, though below the seafoam surface lurked a deeper musing.

“Been wantin’ to do that,” he murmured to you. “Guess I’m too foolish to make myself wait for so long. I’m sorry.”

You shook your head in disagreement. “I don’t think you’re foolish, you’re just too stubborn to realize your own feelings.”

He gave a singular laugh, a short and deep chortle that pulsed against your chest. “I s’pose you’re right, guess I got some catchin’ up to do.”

With a hum of response, you carded your fingers through his hair. “You’ve got all the time in the world with me, Arthur Morgan. And we’re here now, just the two of us.”

A half smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. One hand released your waistline to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of your lips. Wordlessly he drew you in for a second kiss. Moving his hand to the back of your head, his fingers tangled within your locks.

Despite his large frame, he held a certain tenderness unlike any other man you’d been with. A lack of urgency and force to indulge in a lustful night. Every blissful moment here you wanted to last forever, remaining in this lake and far from any civilization.

The kiss soon deepened, easing your tongue to invade him. He allowed you to, following your lead without a moment of hesitation. His arm encircled your waist completely, pinning you to him without excessive strength. Every subtle movement allowed you to appreciate him more and more, handling you like precious cargo rather than a sack of feed.

Fingertips thickened with callouses traced patterns along your back, a touch so feather soft your skin tingled in his wake. Trailing toward your butt beneath the surface, ghosting ever so slightly across the crest. You hadn’t been surprised by this at all. Sensing a small tinge of hesitation, you offered subtle encouragement with your own touch. Smoothing your palm along his muscular shoulder, trailing your fingers down his arm, pausing to gently grip his wrist.

He pulled his head back to look at you, a look of shame crossing his face and his mouth agape in the beginnings of what you assumed was an apology.

You however just smiled, moving his hand to rest against the curve of your butt. You watched as his eyes widened in surprise, sputtering out incomprehensible noise while his face began to show a hue of fuchsia.

Hushing him gently with a finger to his lips, you rubbed his arm soothingly. He was after all still a man, and why deny those thoughts lurking below his otherwise respectful nature? “Touch where you’d like.” You whispered to him.

An audible gulp emanated from his throat, his gaze sweeping over your face as if searching for any notion of disapproval or repulsion. When finding none, he uttered, “You sure?”

Giving a small nod, your other hand rested against his chest, running a single digit across the ridge of his collarbone. “I trust you.”

Reluctance still hinted in his face as he considered your words. His lips twitched as if to say something, though not a single sound came out. You waited quietly to see what his next move would be.

And then you felt it. The beginnings of a light caress as his palm rubbed your smooth skin. Nails scraped along the surface in a small, experimental squeeze. You giggled softly and smiled even wider, running your own hand down the midline of his chest. Admiring him from afar paled in comparison to right now, appreciating every hardened muscle you once only dreamed of holding.

The soft grip on your head disappeared entirely as the rough skin of his other hand moved slowly down your back and rested at the dip of your waist. His eyes flickered downward for a fraction of a second, taking in the plain sight of your naked breasts before looking back to you. Giving him a small nod, he moved from your waist, trailing his fingertips along the front of your torso. Carefully, he fondled one, his eyes never leaving your face. With slow progression his confidence began to grow, and you moaned encouragingly for him to continue. A delicate massage accompanied by his thumb teasing your nipple, he smiled.

“You feel so soft…” he murmured to you.

You hummed in response, thoroughly enjoying this moment. You weren’t sure how far this would go, though his touch was prompting you to explore further. From his chest down to his abdomen, enjoying every swell and plane decorating his frame, you dipped your hand beneath the surface. He tensed once you reached below his navel, although did not offer any notion of backing away. Your eyes met his, unblinking and waiting.

And so you continued further. The heat of his arousal was a stark contrast to the cool liquid surrounding him. Your fingers traced along the soft skin, observing every inch with growing interest. From the tip to the root, your hand turned to rest your palm on his hardened length. Wrapping your entire hand around it you found him to be blessed with girth.

One pump, and another, as smooth as the water would allow. Arthur’s hold on you loosened as a low moan slid from his lips. A simple sign for you to continue, thus you did. Watching his eyelids flutter and his head tilt back, a small smirk tweaked the corner of your mouth. He was soon malleable in your capable hands, his entire figure relaxing for you.

Leaning in to him, you cupped his neck and pressed your lips to his damp skin, leaving light kisses along the junction of his shoulder. His breathing heightened accompanied by a disjointed sound of surprise and pleasure. He spoke your name in a soft, low groan.

“Yes?” you answered him.

“I –” he paused, his hands returning to your body, running his fingers tantalizingly along your curves. “I wanna have you.”

Those words, the sincerity laced within them threw your heart into an erratic rhythm. Surely this was your imagination, your mind baked from being in the heat and sun for far too long. “Really? Here?” you asked quietly.

He nodded. “Like you said, we’re here now,” He replied with what you’d said to him earlier. “Might as well make the most of it, ‘less you don’t want to.”

The mere thought stoked the already smoldering embers within you, curling into a small fire. You bit your lip, weighing your considerations. Your body yearned for him; the pressure deep in your belly too incessant to ignore. Would it be worth it to wait until the two of you found a hotel to stay in, or an abandoned cabin to avoid any unwanted eyes?

However, the lakeside had been quiet for as long as you both had been out here. As unorthodox as it was, the thought of giving to your primal desires within the arms of nature’s embrace seemed invigorating. Staring deep into his awaiting eyes, you finally murmured, “Yes.”

As soon as the word passed your lips, he drew you in for another kiss. Deep and urgent, his tongue hadn’t hesitated to dance with yours. His touch grew fervent, sweeping across every curve and swell your body had to offer. One hand gravitated to your breasts, toying with each and drawing out a few muffled moans from you, while the other snaked further down. Like your own endeavor, he didn’t have trouble finding his target. Warm pads searched your folds briefly until resting upon that little bundle of nerves, creating small circles amongst your sensitive flesh. In turn, the grip you had on his cock hastened. Short and heavy breaths pierced the air as he pulled back, muttering out a swear.

Arthur’s movements soon became erratic, his fingers dancing feverishly against your nub. It didn’t take long for the fire to erupt into a blazing inferno, coiling stronger and tighter with each passing second. You panted out his name, gripping his shoulder for support as pleasure rolled through your body. Eagerly he moved to your entrance, testing it briefly before sinking two digits in. You weren’t sure if you were truly that wet or if the water aided his entry, but the thought quickly swept from your mind the moment he pumped his fingers in and out. You could have melted then and there if he wasn’t supporting you.

Closing your eyes, your mind soon became too addled to focus. The pressure within your core bubbled and threatened to burst. Your head tilted back and moaned your pleasure to the heavens, the fleeting arrival of your climax exploding through every inch of your body. Nails melded into flesh as he coaxed the final waves from you, your lips gasping out his name.

“Arthur…” you groaned, your heart racing. “My God, you know your way with a woman.”

“That surprise you?” he asked with a proud smirk.

Your prickling curiosity as to how far he went with Mary was not something you wanted to delve further into, yet Arthur was a young and handsome man. You’d witnessed him catch the eye of willful saloon women more than once. His handle on you lacked the clumsy and blunt nature of a virgin. “How about you show me further?” you prompted, your hand still resting against his length. Trailing your fingernails along the underside, you watched as his entire body shuddered.

“Mm, gladly…” he growled to you, moving his hands to grip your thighs. Without hesitation you wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms following suit to his neck. He seemingly had no issue supporting your weight, wading through the water until your back rested against a warm, gritty surface. He’d placed you on a rock, and soon released you to straighten up, peering at you with a gleam in his eye. “Turn ‘round.”

You listened without hesitation, immediately understanding what he wanted. Sinking partly back into the water, you turned away from him and bent over, swaying your hips at him. A growl of satisfaction rumbled from him, his rough hands taking place on your hips. The heat of his arousal pressed against the divide of your ass, rubbing it along your soft skin.

Soon he honed in for your lower lips, prodding your entrance once before pushing his way in. You gasped; the pressure surprising at first. His girth stood true, expanding your inner walls further than you anticipated. Hips flush with your butt, he pulled back and drove into you, erasing any prior thoughts from your mind. The pressure was soon replaced with pleasure provided by his unrelenting thrusts.

Swearing out loud, your fingers scrambled on the rock to ground yourself. He was not offering any leeway, using you to his advantage. His grip was tight, deep enough to definitely leave bruises. He groaned and growled, whispering how well you were taking him.

Such talk wasn’t foreign to you, yet hearing it from Arthur created a new thrill. You arched your back for him, allowing nature to hear your song. The subtle change of angle brought a greater difference, allowing the tip of his cock to drag along that spot.

You gasped out his name, your eyes rolling as another coil of fire burned with fury within you. It wouldn’t be much longer until he ripped a second climax from you. Still you clung to that rock as if for dear life while he took every inch. His speed and precision were pushing you closer and closer to the edge with each passing second.

“Shit,” he grunted, voice wavering from his movement. His fingers made their presence known between your legs, rubbing you with vigor. “C’mon, girl,” he coaxed in that lovely baritone voice. “Give it to me.”

Oh Lord, how could you not give to him? That last command was all you needed to bend to his whim. Much more explosive than the first, your legs trembled and your back arched even more as it overtook every part of your body. Every being within the immediate area knew his name, you calling it out like a prayer.

With a noise of satisfaction he gripped your hips again, driving himself even faster, milking your orgasm of every last drop. A string of expletives fell from your mouth. “Arthur – fuck!” you huffed, attempting to halt the trembling overtaking your muscles. You stiffened against the rock, your skin catching somewhat uncomfortably though you didn’t care at that moment. Your eyes rolled from the sky to the trees to the shore, though focusing on nothing.

Until something caught your eye. Something along the sandy terrain that wasn’t there before. You blinked, ripping yourself back to clarity. Searching for it again, your gaze landed on it directly. A person standing just yards away, fixated on the two of you. It only took half a second to realize it was John Marston.

Your heart dropped into your stomach. Where the hell did he come from? “Arthur –” you grunted, mustering up as much breath as you could despite him pounding into you. “Arthur, stop!”

He halted immediately. “Wh-what’s wrong?” he breathlessly asked.

“Someone’s watching.” You hissed, your head twitching toward the shore.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his face twist in confusion. He followed your line of sight and the bewilderment was quickly swept away with surprise. “Marston?” he pulled out of you immediately. “What the hell –”

You hid yourself better behind the rock. Turning your head, you looked just in time to see a conniving grin spread across John’s face. He turned and grabbed a pile of clothes – Arthur’s – off the ground. “Payback, Morgan!”

As the teen darted towards the trees, Arthur’s growl of anger sounded over you, followed by the splashing of water. You watched as Arthur stormed toward the shore, attempting to go as fast as he could. “Get back here, damnit!” he roared, finally reaching solid ground. Butt naked and his wet skin shining in the sun, he briefly stopped to yank his boots on before sprinting after John, who had disappeared amongst the shrubs already.

Arthur soon also disappeared into the woods, his shouts soon becoming muffled by the thick canopy above. John’s laughter grew further away. You waited, listening to their voices growing more distant. You pondered whether or not to try and help, but two naked people running through the woods certainly wouldn’t remedy the situation, and getting dressed would just waste time.

John hadn’t touched your clothes, only Arthur’s. Perhaps the young teenager was putting revenge over whatever Arthur said to him earlier. Typical sibling behavior as it were, you thought with a small smirk to yourself.

A few more minutes ticked by while you were wrapped in silence. You hadn’t heard either of them, and wondered how far John got, or if Arthur managed to catch up to him. Your unasked question was answered when the rustling of leaves and branches caught your attention. The sharp crunch of boots snapping twigs soon revealed Arthur, disgruntled and still very nude, though his body was peppered with forest debris.

You had to admit, as good as he looked, the sight of his defeated face and in nothing but his boots was quite amusing.

“What’re you smilin’ at?” He grumbled as he made his way to the water, kicking his boots off with unneeded force.

You started to giggle, standing straight to gesture to him as a whole. “Never thought I’d see Arthur Morgan running after a kid, stark naked!”

The scowl he gave you was heated, though didn’t faze your ever growing laughter. “Yeah well, don’t get used to it.” He huffed, breaking the surface to slide back in.

“Couldn’t catch him huh?” You chuckled.

He sighed heavily. “Lil’ shit got to the road. I had to stop chasin’ him or else give an unwanted show to some passin’ stagecoaches.”

That only prompted a harder laugh. “What, I’m sure someone aboard them would’ve appreciated it!”

With a scoff, Arthur sank further into the water, attempting to wash the debris from his body. “Now I’m stuck here without clothes. How am I gonna get back to camp without people seein’ me like this?”

The mere thought of it brought even more amusement to you. Arthur trying to sneak into camp, probably holding his hat over himself in attempts to cling to a shred of his dignity. No one in camp would let him live that down.

“Well, John didn’t steal my clothes,” you pointed out, gesturing toward the rock where your garments still lay out. “I can run back and grab yours, if you want.”

“Like I got a choice,” he mumbled dejectedly. “Jus’ hurry, will ya?”

“Sure,” you say, making your way to land and stepping out into the hot air once again. “Can’t let anyone see big bad Arthur Morgan stuck out here in his natural state!” you cackled.

#Arthur Morgan x reader #Arthur Morgan #Arthur Morgan x reader smut #young Arthur Morgan #trying something new to add flair to my posts

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nothing-but-dreamy · 4 years ago

Text

STORM

Pairing: Gladio x Reader

Words: 3.069

Warnings: slight mention of panic, fluff

Synopsis: An upcoming storm terryfies yn but Gladio is there to help

"Maybe we should stay in the hotel tonight. The weather seems to change.", yn said as she watched the sky slowly turning grey. There was still some blue between shreds of clouds but it looked like rain and the local weather forecast already had spoken out a severe thunderstorm alert. Not the best weather to be outside. At all.

"I think yn has a good point there.", Prompto said and yn was glad to have his support in this moment.

"This little bit of rain? Couldn't stop me from going out.", Gladio said, what caused yn to roll with her eyes. Gladio smirked as he saw her grimace. To tease her at any time was one of his most favorite hobbies. She knew that. It was their thing. A big part of their friendship was to tease each other about everything. And still, yn couldn't stop to lay herself open to attack right now.

"It's for Noctis to decide this.", Ignis said, maybe taking the easiest way even if yn could see that he preferred her idea as well. And it was true, the prince made the decisions on this adventure. That was the point where yn got new hope that they would stay in the hotel. Therefore, they would be able to avoid the upcoming weather. Noctis hated camping in the rain.

The only thing yn hadn't considered was Noctis' willingness to help the people on their way. So, while the group sat around, watching the strolling people and the view of the meteor, they also waited for Noctis to come back. He had excused himself for a moment to speak to one of the merchants in sight distance to be on Gladio's observing glance. As Noctis came slowly back to join his friends, yn's heartbeat dropped in fear. She noticed the piece of paper the prince was holding. It was one of these countless hunting quests yn and the group did on their journey.

"What's that?", Gladio asked and nodded to the paper in Noctis' hand.

"A bunch of saberclaws are terrorizing the outskirts of Lestallum. We got asked for help.", Noctis explained.

Gladio already jumped up from his seat, "Alright, what are we waiting for?", he said, already willing to go on the next hunt. Ignis and Prompto also stood up. Yn followed them reluctantly.

Once again, yn checked the sky which was more troubled with grey clouds than before, "Boys, please, the weather... These beasts won't run away. We should wait till tomorrow until the weather is better.”, she suggested.

It was Gladio who walked over to her, placing one of his massive arms over her shoulders, pressing her against his side with a lopsided smirk on his lips, "Since when do you say no to a good fight, huh? That's not you. I checked the position. It's not that far away. If we go now we will be back before the rain even has a chance to destroy your pretty hair style.", Gladio said while guiding her to the car. Noctis and the others already were sitting inside waiting for them. Defeated, yn gave up. There was no way to argue against all four boys if she wouldn't have any kind of support...or good arguments.

Around sixty minutes later, yn was breathing heavily as she pulled out her bloody short sword out of the lifeless corpse to her feet. With her foot, she stemmed her bodyweight against the dead animal to drag the material swiftly out of the flesh with a squishy sound. She was still trying to catch her breath as she looked around to check on the others. But everyone was alright, dirty and kinda bloody, but unharmed. It was then that yn noticed how the sun already set behind the treetops. It became darker with every passing second. The black, rain filled clouds increased her worries even more. They had to hurry if they wanted to reach Lestallum before the storm would break loose.

As if reading her mind, Prompto looked at the sky as well, "We should hurry. These clouds don't look too promising."

Yn thanked silently for Prompto's words and already was on her way into the direction where the Regalia parked as Ignis said the words she feared to hear, "We shouldn't drive back. It's already too dark."

"But Ignis the city isn't that far away. Ten or twenty minutes. We still can make it before it's getting too dark.", yn tried to convince the most reasonable of the group. If she could convince him, the others would follow.

But she couldn't.

"We really shouldn't drive back. We should find a good spot for the tent to camp here instead.", Ignis argued.

"But the weather-", yn tried once again. Camping during a thunderstorm didn't seem to be less dangerous than to drive back into the city through the darkness.

And once again it was Gladio who walked over to her, pushing her into the direction where the others already went, "Forget the weather, sweetheart. The Coleman gear can withstand everything.", he said in his typical light manner.

But this time, yn pushed Gladio's arm from her shoulders, "Yeah, it can...", she muttered and followed the others with a sullen expression.

Gladio frowned and looked after her with a confused expression. Never before, yn had acted like this and mostly not towards him. Usually, they were a unit as best friends. Inseparable. They always could count on each other no matter what. And she never, really never, had pushed him away before.

Twenty minutes later, the group had found a good place for the tent. They made a fire and got ready for the night. Ignis worked his magic with the food and all were eating in silence. Everyone except yn. She was just pushing the food around on her plate with her fork.

Ignis watched it for several minutes before he lost his patience, "Alright, yn, that's enough! I'm used to this behavior of Noctis but since when aren't you eating your meal?", he asked sternly mixed with concern in his voice.

Releasing her breath, yn put the plate down, the food was completely untouched, "I'm sorry but I'm not hungry. I go to bed. Goodnight.", yn said low, stood up and went into the tent without another word of explanation.

Speechless, all four boys were staring after her. Noctis was the first who reacted. He smacked Gladio's arm and looked seriously at him, "What have you done to her? You were talking with her lastly. Why is she mad?"

"I have nothing done. I don't know what's wrong with her.", Gladio said in his defense.

"Maybe it's this time of the month again?", Prompto asked carefully, hinting at the point that yn was a girl.

But Ignis shook his head firmly, "No, it's not this time.", he said, being the only one of the group who was cautious enough to know her cycle, "And even if, you all know her. She never acts like this. And mostly, she never leaves her food untouched.", he pointed out, worried about this totally unusual behavior.

"Should we ask her?", Prompto asked.

Once again, Ignis shook his head, "No, we should give her a break. I'm sure tomorrow, she will be the old one again."

The boys stayed outside around the campfire until it started to rain. The announced storm was finally arriving and darkened the night even more as the stars and the moon disappeared. As the boys crawled into the tent, yn already laid in her spot. Like every time they were camping, Gladio laid next to her. The other three boys changed their position almost every night. Usually, Gladio and yn were talking quietly until one of them would fall asleep but now, as Gladio laid down, yn already seemed to be sleeping, facing the inside wall of the tent.

'Odd like everything else on this weird day', Gladio thought as he stared at her small back. But maybe Ignis was right and she would just need time. And if she was still weird the next day, Gladio would ask her about it.

The wind increased and tugged violently on the ropes of the tent that it was shuddering into every direction. The leaves on the trees were crinkling and the branches whipped against each other. Yn knew that the sound she heard was just the wind flying through every small gap but for her, it sounded more like howling ghosts on their hunt for every living soul they could find. The heavy rain poured on the tent surface like violent war drums calling for a battle. All of this was already too much for yn but then, the thunder started.

First, it was just a rumbling in the distance but soon, driven by the stormy wind, the thunderstorm reached their position. As the first lightning cut through the night sky, yn counted the seconds to establish the distance. The next thunder boomed through the night, followed by the next lightning and yn didn't need to count any further to know that the thunderstorm had almost reached them. Maybe five to ten minutes away.

The next lightning illuminated the tent and several seconds later, the thunder echoed through the air. It was the loudest and strongest thunder so far during this storm and yn knew it wouldn't be the last. As the thunder broke loose like a bellowing shot, she winced and curled into a ball. While trying to calm her racing heart with steady breathing, yn placed her hands over her ears to silence the sound. But as the next thunder exploded, she knew that it wasn't working.

Hot tears were building in her eyes because of the panic she felt deep inside of her and while squeezing her eyes shut, the tears were running down her cheeks, soaking her pillow. Small sobs were escaping her throat and she placed a hand over her mouth to silence the sound in fear to wake one of the boys.

But it was too late. As the next lightning shot through the night followed by the thunder, she winced and two seconds later, she felt a strong and heavy hand softly lying on her shoulder. Even without looking, she knew it was Gladio's hand. It was always Gladio who cared for her the most. Slowly, he tried to turn her over so she would face him. She let him do it but avoided his eyes in hope he wouldn't notice her state, "Yn, are you alright?", he whispered but his voice was filled with concern and worries.

Yn felt bad that he was awake because of her and that he was worried. She had tried to stay as quiet as possible but Gladio had always been more empathetic when it came to her and her mood, "I- I'm fine, Gladio. Just go back to sleep.", she whispered in hope it would work.

Of course, it didn't. Gladio searched her eyes and as she still refused to look at him, he cupped her chin carefully between his fingers to force her to look up. It was then that he noticed the shed tears on her skin, "You cried.", he said low, matter of factly.

Reluctantly, yn raised her eyes to meet his amber orbs which were now filled with so much concern that it almost hurted her to see it, "Y-yeah but it's nothing.", she said weakly with a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. It was a bad attempt to reassure him and she should have known better that Gladio wouldn't buy it for one second. Even if he was goofing around a lot, he could also be very serious if needed to be.

"I don't believe you, yn. What is going on with you? The whole day you act strange. Did I do something wrong? Or one of the others?", Gladio asked carefully while replaying the day but everything had been the same. Everything...except the weather.

"No, of course not. None of you had done something-", she got stopped by the next loud rumbling thunder. Violently, she squeezed her eyes shut and winced.

Gladio watched her in shock. He never had seen her acting like this and he knew her since so many years, "Y-you're scared.", he breathed, watching this small woman curling into a ball, embracing herself and ducking her head, removing herself from his touch, waiting for the storm to end. Carefully and with a soft touch, Gladio stroked strands of her wet hair out of her face, "I... Yn, I watched you fighting fearlessly so many times against the biggest beasts on this planet and now, you're scared of this storm?", he asked.

"I never expected you to understand that. That's why I never told you anything about it.", she whispered breathlessly, trying once again to calm her racing heart.

Gladio felt a pain stinging his heart by her words. He thought he would know everything about her. They could talk about everything and now, he had to learn that there were still things he had no clue about, "But why? Why have you never said anything?", he asked.

Slowly, she raised her teary glance to look at him, "Because you're Gladio, the King's Shield. You're fearless. I know you wouldn't take me seriously if I tell you that I'm scared about some stormy weather. I knew you would make fun of me.", yn said bitterly, closing her eyes slowly. New tears were running down her cheeks.

Her words pained Gladio but mostly, it pained him to see her like this. Here he was, lying next to her, thinking of himself as her best friend and yet, she wasn't brave enough to talk with him about her fears because she really thought he wouldn't understand her. If he thought about it, she had mentioned her concerns about the weather several times and he had made fun of it. He hadn't really thought about the reasons behind her concerns. Now, he understood it and felt bad. Slowly, he scooted closer to her, "Look at me, please.", he pleaded.

As yn opened her eyes, Gladio's face was as close as possible to hers. His glance bored into hers, a stern expression on his face. With slow moves, he cupped her face with his hands, tangling his fingers with her hair to tickle her calming, "I'm sorry, yn. I really am. I would never make fun of you about something that scares you, believe me. I'm sorry that you couldn't tell me this. I would fight against the storm to stop it if I could help you with it."

"Oh, I would like to see you trying. I'm sure you're the only person in this world who would be able to terrify a thunderstorm.", yn said with a soft chuckle between two sobs, feeling a bit better.

Gladio smiled softly before he became serious again, "I... I don't like seeing you scared like this. It's nothing I'm used to.", he said what caused yn to smile once again.

"It's silly that I'm scared. Mostly, considering the fact what we're facing every day since we left Insomnia. But it's the sound of the thunder and the ravenous natural force that always scared me since I was a kid."

"That's why you wanted to stay in the hotel.", Gladio understood, nodding slowly, "Sure, staying in a tent is not really helpful."

"Yeah, but having you boys with me is already helping, at least, a little bit.", yn said but was wincing as the next lightning and thunder shook the tent.

"You know what, maybe I can help you even a bit more.", Gladio whispered with a smile that caught yn's attention.

"W-what are you doing?", she asked surprised as she saw Gladio moving.

"Just trust me, sweetheart.", he said. Swiftly, he snaked one of his muscled arms underneath her head and around her shoulders to pull her close to his chest. He took his blanket to place it over both of them before he laid his other arm protectively around her frame as well. While she snuggled against his warm skin, relaxing slowly, she listened to his steady and strong heartbeat. His natural body heat enclosed her and his familiar scent flooded her brain.

Gladio buried his face into her hair, "I'm here for you. You're not alone. Nothing can happen to you. I will protect you.", he whispered reassuringly while drawing patterns on her skin with his fingers.

"Thank you.", yn breathed against his chest, snaking her arm around his body to pull him even closer.

The next lightning cracked through the night sky followed by a loud thunder and even if yn winced a little bit, she already was calmer than before. Gladio noticed the change immediately. She stayed where she was, lying in his arms. As the next wave of the storm broke loose over the tent, Gladio noticed her staying even calmer. And ten minutes later, yn didn't even respond anymore to the harsh weather outside. Gladio didn't have to check on her to know that she had fallen asleep lying secure in the protection of his body. Slowly, he drifted back to sleep on his own, keeping yn in his arms the whole night.

The next morning, yn awoke by the first rays of sunlight that fell through the open tent door. She could hear Noctis, Ignis and Prompto talking about something outside of the tent. It sounded like a discussion about breakfast. Cool air was flooding the tent and yn breathed in the freshness. She was slowly moving but got stopped by warm, muscly barriers: Gladio's arms.

Without waking the still sleeping, peacefully looking man, she tried to sneak out of his embrace. But as yn was almost free, she got dragged back to her former position by the said arms and their tightened grip around her, "Where do you think you go?", Gladio mumbled sleepy.

Yn looked up into Gladio's face, "It's morning. The storm is over.", she explained quietly with a soft smile.

Gladio tightened the embrace a bit more, "I don't care. It's perfect like this.", he whispered.

"So, you want me to stay?", yn asked surprised.

"Always.", Gladio mumbled and drifted back to sleep.

And just like that, a ravenous storm had changed a friendship to a next level.

Instead of destroying something, it had built something new.

#gladiolus x reader #final fantasy gladiolus #episode gladiolus #ffxv gladio #gladiolus amiticia #ffxvgame #ffxv #fandom #writing

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kyloswarstars · 4 years ago

Text

ROOMMATES • Part 8

Divergent • College AU • Eric x Reader

ROOMMATES masterlist 💫 Divergent masterlist

You escaped your current living situation by moving in with your friend Christina – and five other college students. Little did you know that one of them was the guy who was your ultimate pain in the neck since your first semester. Now, you had to find a way to not strangle him in his sleep out of pure frustration. Also, you had to find a way to get rid of those weird butterfly feelings for him that slowly grew in your stomach.

Words • 2.7k

The enemies to lovers story no one needed.

/////

The day in the zoo was sad and great and irritating and left you with a faint emptiness. Eric kept a physical distance ever since. His hand didn’t brush yours randomly when you met in the hallway. He didn’t stand close to you at the check out when you went grocery shopping together. His feet didn’t accidentally pump into yours under the dining table when you had the roommate gatherings. He didn’t sat down next to you on the balcony, he didn’t bump into you when you got out of the bathroom and he certainly did not press his side to yours anymore. His thigh, his arm, his shoulder wasn’t burning against yours, the magnetising pull just eradicated as if you had never felt it at all.

Your bodies didn’t touch anymore and that made sure that none of all those times, you had wondered if it had been on accident, had been on accident. It had always been on purpose. Eric had wanted to be close and now he didn’t want to anymore. And the weirdest thing of it all was that you still wanted to be close.

The weeks went by. Chicago finally decided that it was time for all the stuffy air to vanish. With one big, biblical doomsday thunderstorm the sky cleared itself with heavy rain and sent all the heat it had held to the future. Stored it for next summer. It was still warm, still summer but it slowly came closer to its end, moving on from the start, moving on from you moving into this apartment.

You stared at the walls in the night. There was still the knocking. Every single night, his knuckles morsed ‚GN‘ and you returned it. That was the closest your hands got – six inches divided by a wall.

While Eric remained this physical distance, his eyes didn’t stop staring at you. And lacking his side pressed against yours in the most random situations, you stared right back. Whenever you sensed his eyes on you, you were drawn to them immediately. As if the magnet had been shoved into them, now that is wasn’t in your thigh anymore.

It’s fine. Everything is fine. A good mantra to repeat when you worked on the study. For a few days you had to repeat it almost every minute to concentrate. But the more time, days and then eventually weeks passed, it got easier. Peter had still been on your mind now and then but he just wasn’t worth it. And, even without Eric stating the obvious back at the zoo, you knew it. It was summer break still, but as soon as the new semester would start, there would be no time to think about a guy anymore. Not about Peter and not about Eric.

With that you fully regained the realistic side of your mind. You concentrated on your beloved constant in life called mathematics. You tidied your room, threw out stuff you didn’t need anymore. You made pizza with Eric for all the roommates, he didn’t press himself next to you at the countertop but instead let you knead the dough on your own. Eric occasionally searched for a conversation and it was all still very sincere, way too friendly for the guy who had argued with you for more than two years in your classes. But no. physical. contact.

Reality. You focused on it and decided it was time to call your brothers. During the summer break your contact always faded a little, giving the fact that Cole had to be at every party, Levi saving his ass and leading a group of volunteers at the sea turtle rescue centre and you being wrapped up in whatever went through your mind.

It surprised you that both of them actually accepted the video call. Instant homesickness greeted you. Especially from Levi’s window. He was sitting in the kitchen, your mom cooking dinner in the background.

„Honey!“ She blurted over the boiling pots. Levi didn’t even have the chance to say hello. Cole, in his window, rolled his eyes. „Didn’t I and your father tell you to at least text once a week? So we know you didn’t fall of the earth’s surface, yet?“

She joked a little but you heard the seriousness in her voice. And it instantly made you feel guilty, knowing very well that a simple one word ‚alive‘ message would be enough for them. And you didn’t know why it was so hard for you to simply do that.

„I pledge improvement.“ You promised and tried to stick to it this time.

„Levi, move! Before dad comes around and threatens Y/N to fly up there every week to make sure she’s okay.“ Cole was laughing and Levi left the kitchen on his order.

„So you are alive,“ Levi stated. With him and Cole it wasn’t that much guilt anymore. Still a little but less than with your parents.

You affirmed and then lead the conversation in a different direction, tricked them into telling you about their summers without having to talk about yours.

Cole got drunk every second day, Levi got his ass home whenever he couldn’t walk straight anymore. No surprise. Levi gave a detailed report about the current numbers of turtle nests and the amount of baby turtles they expected to hatch. It was Levi’s first summer break since he had started college. Instead of freaking out like Cole and running to every beach gathering he could find, he sticked to be the responsible volunteer he was and cared for the turtle protection. It made you proud. Cole, was still on the team too. Only on the afternoons, though. After he had slept off his hangover and before he made sure to get a new one.

Brothers.

At the end of the call your dad fetched Levi’s phone, who sat on the porch by now, and stared at you for a second. He wasn’t as carefree anymore. A few years ago he would just blurb about everything that came to his mind. Now, he thought more about the things he said and what to hold back.

„You need more sleep, honey,“ he said, looked at you with a caring smile and ended the call. I know.

Shortly after the beeping of your phone, indicating the finished call, a knock on your door made you turn to it. By now you could tell apart your roommates by the rhythm of their knocking.

„Are you ready for the store?“ Eric peeked his head in and you wanted to say no but couldn’t. The golden rules of this household were sacred.

„Yes,“ you said instead and followed him outside to his car, parked right in front of the building. A rare parking spot – luck had to be fully on your side to find it free.

Uncomfortable memories of going to the grocery store and the aftermath of it accompanied you once again. This time, nothing would happen, you told yourself. No-one would see you and even if someone did, there was no chance for Peter to reach out to you again. Every possibility had been eliminated by Eric and you.

Eric pushed the cart, you loaded everything in. No blueberry fight, pizza wasn’t on the menu tonight and chocolate pretzels were fully stocked. No repeating of that awful day!

Eric came to stand next to you in front of the snack shelf, within a good distance of course. He grabbed a huge bag of chips, threw it in the cart and waited for you to continue. You stared at the chips in the cart.

„Not on our shopping list,“ you mumbled and almost would’ve returned them to the shelf but Eric grabbed the bag in time to save it from your hands.

„We will need it later,“ he said, his lips pulled in a honest smile.

„Why? What is later?“

He still held the bag of chips with one hand and pushed the cart down the aisle with the other. When he passed you, he dramatically stared at you for a second. „Big time cinema!“

Eric’s silly wide eyes made you laugh – and wish for his arm to actually brush you by accident. Just this one time. It didn’t. He was adamant to not touch you.

/////

With ‚big time cinema’ he meant Toy Story. So it was indeed big time cinema. And big was also the fact that you found yourself watching a movie. With Eric. In his bed. His laptop on his desk played the movie, you laid next to each other, backs propped on a lot of pillows and the bag of chips between you. He didn’t touch you and that gap between you could easily fit Christina if she was there.

At first you shook your head at his suggestion to watch a movie with him in his room. When he went for a good old debate on why you shouldn’t, you surrendered and hoped the dining table full of roommates didn’t make any remarks. No-one did. Christina only wiggled her eyebrows and hid her grin behind a spoon full of veggies.

But now you were here, on Eric’s bed, wearing some joggers and a hoodie and laughed at the screen whenever Rex the tyrannosaur had something to say.

„As a kid I always wondered if my own toys were alive as well when I wasn’t around.“ Eric mumbled with some chips in his mouth.

„Same,“ you whispered. „I wanted them to be real so bad!“

„Right? I wanted my toy cars to be real so they could drive to the kitchen and get me snacks.“ A single chip has fallen down on the way from the bag to his face. You were fast to steal it from the mattress and shove it in your mouth.

Eric turned to you, gasped and whispered in fake consternation: „Don’t you dare!“

You laughed once more. „I remember you saying that we will need this bag of chips. Not only you.“

He was quick to drop it and smiled at you as he placed the bag in the gap between you again. After having a huge bowl of veggies with noodles you still managed to kill the whole bag of chips with Eric. He was a little sad when he stared into the empty bag. He crumpled it up and tossed it into a corner of the room.

The positive side of running out of chips was the newfound silence and therefore finally understanding every word that was spoken in the movie.

„How are you, Y/N?“

There his question was again. In the zoo wasn’t the only and last time he asked. He kept asking whenever he pleased. And he wanted you to answer sincerely, you knew that. And you did, every time. The first time in long that you answered that question in full honesty. And he did as well, whenever you applied the question on him.

It was a lot easier now to answer him. „I feel good.“

„Yeah?“

„Yeah,“ you turned to see his face, the movie still playing in the background but of no importance for the moment. „I feel more like myself again. I understand now that my troubled thoughts about Peter are not worth it. That he’s not worth it but I am. I don’t care about him anymore. Not one tiny bit.“

Your words made his tensed face ease up a little. His lungs let out a breath he must have held. „Good,“ he smiled. He smiled and smiled and smiled. Then he turned to face his laptop again.

„What about you? How are you?“

„I feel more than good now,“ he stated which made you feel even better.

The movie continued playing. Woody and Buzz fought at the gas station. They eventually fell out of the car and were left behind. You were partially concentrating on the scenes, the Pizza Planet truck, when you noticed Eric’s hand moving closer to yours. Your hand, as well as his, was laying flat on the mattress. Out of the corner of your eye you saw it coming closer in ultra slow motion. Did he think you wouldn’t notice? Did he think you would scare away if he moved his hand faster? What did he think?

You took smaller breaths and tried to concentrate only on the movie but Eric’s hand was still getting closer. It was closer than your knuckles at night, when they knocked ‚good night’. Your eyes shifted between the screen, his hand, your hand. All while you didn’t turn your head. This stupid little heart inside of your chest quickened. It activated the butterflies in your stomach, sent them flying through your whole body. Excitement over the almost physical contact was rushing through you.

When his pinky spread out and ever so slightly brushed yours, he waited. For you to draw back, to possibly shout at him for what he was doing. You didn’t. You didn’t look at him, knowing very well that Eric wasn’t looking at the movie on his laptop at all. He kept his finger steady against yours, didn’t dare to move it or to breathe. You didn’t breathe either. Instead you linked your little finger with his, tying them like a knot.

Both of you exhaled at the same time. No one said a word. You still stared at the movie and sensed Eric’s head returning to the screen as well. All the butterflies gathered in your hand and made it tingle. They demanded for more. More than this simple but electrifying knot of your pinkies.

You couldn’t bring yourself to take his full hand, though. A million thoughts were running through your brain and all of them were leading back to this tiny touch. You were scared he would break the physical contact again if you searched for more. Unsure as to why he even had closed the gap and reached out after weeks of adamantly making sure no accidental body contact happened.

You were irritated. And you were… happy. And you stopped breathing once more. Eric stopped your train of thoughts abruptly.

He started to intertwine his fingers with yours. Just the way he had tried to in the furniture store. Back then you had drawn back but this time you didn’t. You welcomed his fingers between yours. When they were perfectly locked in place, you squeezed them shortly, causing Eric to sigh in relief. He grabbed onto your hand and held it tight, not giving you the choice of letting go anymore. Never would you have let go of his big hand entangled with yours. This pure feeling of holding his hand almost made you burst because it silenced the oppressing feeling of homesickness. It captured those butterflies and turned them into a vibrant, positive version of that doomsday thunderstorm from a few days ago. If holding hands could make you feel that way… what would a kiss feel like then?

That thought made your head turn to look at him. You just stared at him as he watched the movie with a grin on his lips. When the closing credits appeared on the screen, reflecting in his eyes, Eric turned to you again.

„I don’t want to leave just yet,“ you said, not really sure why this honest admittance sent heat to your cheeks.

„Okay,“ he whispered and leaned forward to start Toy Story 2 without letting go of your hand. When he pushed himself back into the pillows, he entirely closed the space between your bodies this time. He placed the bundle of hands that wouldn’t let go off each other, on his abdomen and just like that you laid next to each other. His thumb brushed over yours while the second movie unfolded in front of you. A smile was chiseled into your face. You noticed Eric shifting at some point and placing the bundle of hands on his chest. You noticed the movie's noises fainting after a while, your eyelids grew heavy. A wave of Eric’s sent was pushed over, calming you and dragging you into a sheltered sleep.

/////

Taglist • @longlostinanotherworld • @dosentier • @dhunhdchrih • @coryisagee

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the-everything-lover · 3 years ago

Text

The Wall Of Winnipeg And Me

Mariana Zapata

I was going to murder his ass.

One day.

One day long after I quit, so no one would suspect me.

*****

When the edges of his mouth turned down, got tight, and his brown eyes went heavy lidded, all it made me want to do was stick my finger up his nose. It’s what my mom used to do to us when we were little and would pout.

*****

Every once in a while, I even did a little curtsy, which Aiden pretended not to witness.

*****

Regardless, his crankiness had hit a level not previously documented in the history of the universe. That was saying something, considering I’d grown up with three older sisters who all had periods at the same time.

*****

so handsome I might have thanked God for giving me eyes on a couple of occasions.

*****

I wasn’t going to keep my job just because he was giving me the closest thing to puppy eyes pure evil was capable of.

*****

Zac hadn’t made his way back to Dallas yet, so it could only be the big guy looking for his tennis shoes, or when his Canadianisms kicked in—runners.

*****

When life gives you lemons, you get to choose what you make out of them; it doesn’t always have to be lemonade.

*****

“Find someone you like, date them for a little bit or something, and then ask them to marry you. You can always get divorced afterward.” I paused and thought about a distant cousin of Diana’s.

*****

Plus, I didn’t like the vibe he gave off, and I’d learned to listen to my gut when it came to people.

*****

The person who was almost as much of a sister as she was my friend, barked out that familiar loud laugh that was about as close to home as possible. “Fuck you. I only drink two, maybe three times a week.”

*****

“Fart breath, let me call you back later. I, uh, someone’s knocking on my door,”

*****

I might be thinking of myself as being a prostitute, but at least I’d be a prostitute free from debt, wouldn’t I?

*****

When I was a kid, I learned the hard way how expensive the truth was. Sometimes it cost you people in your life. Sometimes it cost you things in your life. And in this life, most people were too cheap to pay the price for something as valuable as honesty.

*****

Sometimes I forgot Aiden didn’t believe in obstacles.

*****

“Could you get my girl a coffee?”

*****

It was a damn miracle. She usually knew I started my period ten minutes after I did. We liked to celebrate another month of not being pregnant.

*****

She knew it was illegal, and we’d always joked that if one of us went to jail, we would both go, so we could pretend to be each other’s lovers.

*****

My foster dad had looked at me from across the table where I’d eaten dinner seven days a week for four years of my life and asked in a serious voice, “You couldn’t have married someone who plays for Houston?”

*****

“What the hell, Aid? I’ve tried calling you a dozen times,” Trevor’s slightly higher tone started.

What did our household smart-ass respond with? “I know. I have caller ID.”

*****

“She’s my wife, and all she’s ever done was watch out for me. Don’t go there, Trevor. You don’t want to go there, understand me?”

I was so freaking making him dinner. Maybe even lunch too.

*****

Eyeing the thunderstorm going on outside through one of the windows in my room, I sighed. I hated driving in the rain, but he rarely asked for any favors… unless they were major, life-changing ones.

*****

“You got married and you didn’t tell me!”

I stayed quiet and kept an eye out on the building to make sure Aiden wasn’t appearing.

“It’s because you think I’d tell everyone, isn’t it?”

That was definitely the wrong question to answer. So I kept my mouth shut.

“You don’t love me anymore? Is that it? Am I old news?”

*****

“I can’t believe you!” She let out a shriek that seemed to echo. Knowing her, she was more than likely in her car. “I’m going to punch you in the cooch.”

At that, my silence ended. “I’d like to see you try.” She hadn’t grown up with my sisters. I knew how to fight a girl.

*****

He gave me a side look that said what he was thinking—you’re an idiot, Vanessa. Instead, he verbally went with, “I’m too tired.”

*****

I had asthma. Since when did I have asthma?

*****

“Please don’t tell Zac. I wouldn’t hold it passed him to hide under the bed when I’m sleeping to try and scare the crap out of me.”

*****

“You have the worst cardio I’ve ever seen,” Mr. No Social Skills claimed, not at all embarrassed that he’d been overheard.

*****

“You want to watch that Dragonballs show?”

I stopped in my tracks when he spoke.

“I’m curious now what a little kid with a monkey tail who can supposedly ‘kick ass’ looks like.”

*****

“It’s ‘Dragonball,’ big guy, and you don’t have to tell me twice.”

*****

I had to really reach down into my spine and pump some steel into it, reminding myself that I knew I hadn’t lied to anyone.

*****

“I don’t care, Van. I’m always going to do what’s best for me. If anyone’s surprised by that, it’s their fault.”

*****

Those brown eyes blinked. “You just flipped him off, didn’t you?”

Yeah, my mouth dropped open. “How do you know when I do that?” My tone was just as astonished as it should be.

“I know everything.” He said it like he really believed it.

I groaned and cast him a long look. “You really want to play this game?”

“I play games for a living, Van.”

*****

Unhappiness prematurely aged a person, my foster mom had told me once. She was right.

*****

I punched him in the arm. “You tell me, big mouth.”

Nosey McNoserson immediately perked up.

*****

You could trust someone and not be their friend… couldn’t you?

*****

“It’s dumb. I’m so happy to see you, and I’m already getting upset thinking about not having you around.”

*****

“But I can’t remember anymore what it’s like to not be happy.”

#mariana zapata #the wall of winnipeg and me #book quotes #quotes #correct quotes #canon #vanessa #aiden #I know no one asked me except myself to do this but i am going to post the collection of quotes i have prepared from the books i have read

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tripleaxeldiaz · 4 years ago

Text

i threw a wish in the well

read on ao3

“I’ll be right back.”

Buck watches as Eddie jogs down the stairs and wills himself to stay seated, to keep reading his book and not run after him to try and eavesdrop. Because Eddie stepping away to talk on the phone is completely normal — even when it’s Chris, he likes his privacy, and Buck respects the hell out of that — but what’s not normal is Eddie returning from said phone call with a self satisfied smile and no details on who he just talked to. Just a shrug and some form of “no one important”.

But it clearly is important, based on the smile, and the fact that someone Buck doesn’t know is making Eddie smile like that is starting to drive him crazy. It was bad enough with Ana, but once that finally fizzled out and Buck had worked through his own feelings, he thought he’d have time — to gauge if Eddie was still interested in dating, if he was interested in dating men, and if he was interested in dating Buck specifically. It was a delicate thing to navigate, and Buck was sure he could take things slow, make sure he read every situation perfectly until he was certain things would work out in his favor.

Clearly, he’d missed his window.

He turns to Hen and Chim, who are locked in a Scrabble battle that’s lasted the better part of two hours. “Do you guys know who Eddie’s been talking to?”

Chim shrugs, eyes never leaving the board. “If you don’t know, we sure don’t.”

“Are you worried?” Hen asks.

He closes his book and tosses it on the counter. “I’m not worried, I’m—”

None of the endings to that sentence make him look good, because there’s no way to spin I’m mad that someone else is making him that happy or I’m pissed I didn’t get to him first to make him sound like less of a jerk.

Hen, of course, sees right through it. “Looks like you’re a little green-eyed about it, Buck.”

He knows she’s right, and he hates that she’s right, so he takes the first out he can find. “Looks like you’re about to lose pretty badly, Hen.”

She flips back around in her chair just in time to see Chim play JACKEL on a triple word score, cursing under her breath. Buck goes back to his book and tries to ignore the expanding ice in his stomach and the fact that it’s been well over 10 minutes since Eddie left.

Not that he’s been counting.

When he finally does come back, sliding onto the barstool next to Buck, the look is back too — happy but almost smug, like the call (the flirting?) was a competition, and he had decidedly won.

“Who was that?” Buck asks, not looking up from his book because he does not care, Eddie can flirt with whoever he wants and it doesn’t matter to him at all, really.

Eddie shrugs, “Nobody.”

Buck smiles tightly and nods and tries not to fume too obviously. One look from Hen tells him he’s doing a terrible job.

~~~~~~~~~~

He finally cracks at movie night.

Eddie winces apologetically as he pauses the movie and takes his ringing phone to his room. Buck waits until he hears the door click shut before rounding on Chris sitting next to him.

“Do you know who your dad’s been talking to on the phone so often?”

Chris shakes his head. “No, but he always goes into his room to talk.”

“You’ve never tried to listen in?”

He looks offended for a second before deflating. “I can’t hear anything through the door.”

Buck huffs out a laugh, reaching out to ruffle Chris’ hair. “It’s okay, bud, you tried.”

The interrogation ends when Eddie comes back, and Buck elects to drop it for now, focusing instead on the movie and the warm press of Eddie’s arm against his own.

But then Chris goes to bed, and they’re standing in the kitchen talking about nothing, and Eddie’s phone rings again, and Buck does not want him to answer it.

“You’re awfully popular these days. Did you make a new friend I don’t know about?” It’s a little harsher than he means it to be, but his grip on “casual” gets looser and looser every time Eddie gets a call.

To his credit, if he notices, Eddie doesn’t say anything, just smiles and shakes his head. “You’re gonna laugh when I tell you,” he says.

Buck’s not sure he’ll ever find the idea of Eddie dating someone who’s not him funny, but he can try. If it makes Eddie happy, he’ll try anything.

“Adriana was at a bar with some friends for her birthday, and some guy kept trying to hit on her and wouldn’t leave her alone. So when he asked for her number, she gave him mine, and when he called I may have...very strongly suggested that he evaluate his life choices when it comes to picking up women.”

“You yelled at him.”

“I was a little short—”

“You yelled at him.”

“He deserved it!” A flush settles high on Eddie’s cheekbones, like he’s pissed all over again at a guy he’s never met. Buck tries and fails to not find it adorable. “Anyway,” Eddie drains the last of his beer, “She’s done it a few other times and given my number to her friends to use too, so that’s what it is. Just trying to be a good brother.”

“You are a good brother,” Buck says, automatically refuting any idea that Eddie is less than the best person he knows. Once he processes the rest of the story, he does laugh, a loud thing pushed out of his body by relief. “Wow, I really thought—” he stops himself, clears his throat. “Doesn’t matter. I’m sure Adriana’s happy she doesn’t have to field calls from a bunch of weirdos.”

Eddie’s staring at him from across the kitchen, head cocked and eyebrows scrunched. He looks confused for a minute before quickly straightening up, eyes darkening and a look on his face that’s less the sly smirk Buck’s seen lately and more...hungry. Wanting. He sets his beer on the counter as Eddie makes his way over, stopping right in front of Buck and placing his hands next to his hips, bracketing him in. Their chests are just barely touching, and Buck wouldn’t have to lean far to finally know what Eddie tastes like.

“Evan Buckley,” Eddie says — rumbles, really, Buck swears he feels the vibrations in every part of his body, “were you jealous?”

And while his first instinct is to deny everything, he realizes that his window — though never really closed — has been thrown wide open. The breeze is cool and inviting, the sun is shining, and Eddie is waiting for him, looking anxious and hopeful.

Screw taking his time. He’s got all his answers.

Eddie meets him halfway, and the kiss feels like a thunderstorm — electric, all-encompassing, but still comfortable, washing away the grit and grime to pave the way for new beginnings. They stay like that for a while, Buck reveling in the feeling of Eddie’s lips soft against his and his hair silky between his fingers, and they only pull away when both their smiles get too big.

“That’s a yes, by the way,” Buck says, still trying to get his breath back.

Eddie snorts. “I figured.” Buck just laughs, and Eddie squeezes his waist and pulls him in again, lips moving from his mouth down his neck, driving any thoughts or snarky comments straight out of Buck’s head.

He’s about to suggest they move somewhere more comfortable when he hears a soft buzzing from across the room. He groans as Eddie peels away, walking over to his phone and seeing the screen lit up with an unknown number. Eddie hesitates before swiping to answer.

“I’m making out with my boyfriend,” he says, deadpan, looking directly at Buck. “And whoever gave you this number isn’t interested. Don’t call again.” He hangs up, going from confident to apprehensive in a matter of seconds.

Now it’s Buck’s turn for a smug smile. “Boyfriend, huh?”

Eddie saunters back over, smiling himself, but landing somewhere around soft and fond instead of smug, and it makes Buck’s heart flip. “I hope so,” he says, hands grabbing Buck’s waist again.

He kisses Buck again, softly this time, and it’s already so familiar, so addicting, and Buck wants to sink into it and never come out.

“I think we can make that work,” he whispers against Eddie’s lips. He grabs him by the belt buckle and pulls him toward the bedroom, and Eddie spends the next several hours making him forget why he was ever jealous in the first place.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #buddie fic #911 fic #happy friday have some idiots #courtesy of eli and tiktok #ficcery

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drmmyrs · 4 years ago

Text

The Way I Loved You (Poppy x MC) Part 2

I want to make this a slow burn type of fic so I’ll just be giving crumbs for now 😅 I swear tho there’ll be more plot and action in the later parts.

tag list: @whackawriting @samanthadalton @crazzyplays @uselesslesbianfr @baexpoppy @alexroyard @alexlabhont @veenast @cloakanddaggerthings (If you wanna be added or removed or just prefer a certain ship just let me know ❤️)

Read Part 1

Word Count: 1700

Warning: none

"I'm sorry, Ms. Min-Sinclair, we only have one more room available for tonight."

Bea watched as the expression on Poppy's face went from horrified to anger. "Check again, please."

"I'm really sorry, but unfortunately, all our other rooms are already booked since we had several guests come in because of the storm," the receptionist said apologetically.

The look Poppy gave the receptionist must have been pretty damn scary, given that his hand was now visibly shaking.

Poppy's voice was beginning to rise. "Listen to me you–"

Bea clasped her hand around Poppy's wrist and dragged her away from the poor guy before she could make a scene. Kind and sweet Poppy was gone entirely. Instead, standing before her was the self-absorbed, shrieking harpy Bea very much knew and hated.

"Calm down, Poppy. The receptionist was just doing his job."

"Calm down?! There's not a chance in hell that I–"

"You know what? If you want to sleep outside in the storm, go ahead because I certainly won't be stopping you," Bea snapped.

Poppy was seething but didn't say anything else.

"I'll be in our room. Feel free to join me once you actually figure out how to act like an adult."

Without waiting for Poppy's response, Bea made her way to the receptionist to finish the transaction, all the while apologizing for Poppy's behavior. Once she got the key, she went straight to the room.

Bea had hoped there were two beds at least, but the way their luck was going, it only made sense that a single queen-sized bed stood at the center of the room. The room itself was average with bland white walls and a window with a city view that was currently shrouded by heavy rain and mist. It certainly wasn't nearly like her room back in Belvoire, but it wasn't like she had any other choice.

After setting down what little things Bea had brought with her–obviously not expecting to spend the night there, and definitely not with Poppy–Bea collapsed on the bed, exhausted. A few minutes later, the door opened, and Poppy walked in, evidently calmer than before. She stood near the doorway, scanning the entire room with a frown. Bea fully expected her to complain about, well, everything, but she just trodded to the side of the bed and glared at her.

"Move."

Bea moved obediently to the other side of the bed, too exhausted to argue. Poppy gracefully slid into bed and took her phone out.

"Stay at your side of the bed, and don't talk to me."

Bea frowned. "I didn't even–"

Poppy scowled at Bea, and Bea made the gesture of zipping her lips. The only sound that followed was the heavy downpour of rain that reverberated across the room. After an hour, Bea got up from bed and started to walk towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Poppy called out, almost sounding... worried.

Bea raised her eyebrow. "I'll come back if that's what you're worried about."

Poppy rolled her eyes, but Bea could see a slight flush on her cheeks. "As if. Get lost in the storm for all I care."

Bea laughed. "I'm just gonna check out the boutique I saw near the lobby. Don't really wanna sleep in these clothes." Bea hesitated. "Do you... want to come with?"

Without answering, Poppy rose from the bed and strode out of the room. Bea followed soon after, and for someone so short, Poppy sure walked incredibly fast that Bea had a hard time keeping up with her.

"Do you even know where it is?" Bea asked.

Probably realizing she didn't, Poppy slowed down until they were walking alongside each other. When they reached the boutique, Poppy immediately frowned in disgust at the clothing selection.

"Ugh, what even is this?" Poppy remarked, looking at a shirt with an unflattering shade of pink.

"Are you saying you can't pull that off?" Bea challenged.

"No, I'm saying that I have standards. Obviously, something you know nothing about." Poppy made her way through the selection, sneering all the while. "I'm not wearing these."

Bea rolled her eyes. "Get off your high horse. If you want to sleep in your sweaty clothes, at least do me a favor and not, like, sleep next to me."

Poppy let out a scornful laugh. "Oh sweety, I'll still smell better than whatever pigsty your perfume came from. But maybe... I'll just wear nothing then."

Despite herself, an image of Poppy naked sprung to Bea's head, sending heat all over her body. She slightly faced away from Poppy.

Noticing Bea's sudden silence, Poppy curiously looked at her. "My, my, Farmsville, don't tell me you're already imagining me naked," Poppy said with a smirk.

Mustering her most dismissive tone, Bea said, "Please, you're not even that hot." A blatant lie, of course. Poppy is a lot of things, and 'hot' is definitely one of those. Thankfully, Poppy moved on after seeing a dress that, Bea agreed, 'should be burned.'

After a painstakingly long search, Poppy was finally able to find something 'tolerable.' They made their purchases and went back to their room. When they arrived, Poppy was the first to get in the shower, and when she came out, she was wearing a tight-fitting tank top and bike shorts that hugged and accentuated all her curves. The room suddenly got so much hotter as Bea tried her absolute best not to stare at her, and even so, she knew it was a losing battle which is why she jumped to the shower the first chance she got. After showering, Bea realized that in her hurry, she forgot to take her clothes with her. She wrapped a towel and walked out to the bedroom to get her clothes. When her back was turned to Poppy, Bea glanced at a mirror nearby and was surprised to see Poppy staring at her with her mouth parted slightly. But when she casually turned around, Poppy had already averted her gaze.

Later that night, the storm got worse as thunders started to rumble outside. At first, Bea thought it was just a trick of the light, but after a few more claps of thunder, she could see Poppy flinch at every roar with her eyes clenched shut.

Is Poppy... actually scared of thunderstorms?

As if to answer her question, Poppy started to heave heavily, with traces of sweat forming on her forehead. And as much as Bea despised Poppy–or at least that's what she kept telling herself–she actually felt sorry for her. And against her better judgment, Bea reluctantly placed her hand over Poppy's and gave it a soft squeeze. Poppy tensed for a moment at the gesture before she relaxed and gripped Bea's hand tighter. In response, Bea started tracing soothing circles on the back of her hand, and they fell asleep through the thunderstorm, hand-in-hand.

When Bea woke up, most of the storm had already passed, with light to moderate rain falling intermittently. She scanned the room and saw Poppy eating at the desk.

"Your food's getting cold," Poppy said without looking at her.

"You... got me food?"

"I figured since we didn't have dinner yesterday." Poppy turned to face Bea. "Why do you sound so surprised."

Bea furrowed her brows. "Because that's actually nice. And as far as I'm concerned, you're not."

"Well, I don't particularly care about you. And trust me, no one will be happier than me with you gone. But, unfortunately, I do have to keep you alive at least until after the party. Grades and all."

Bea got up and went to the desk to get her food. Poppy got her an English-style breakfast while she was eating... a teensy salad.

Poppy saw Bea looking at her food. "Did you also want a salad?"

"Uh, no. It just doesn't look... filling."

"It's not. But it's not like I have a choice. Their vegetarian selection is awful."

And just when Bea thought Poppy couldn't surprise her anymore.

"Wait, you're... vegetarian?" Bea asked in undisguised surprise.

"Yes." Poppy narrowed her eyes at Bea. "You know, you have to stop assuming you know everything about me. In fact, you know nothing about me."

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that."

Bea went back to bed and started to eat her food, her mind going back to the foster home, how Poppy's entire personality changed around the people there. Before, Bea was so convinced that she had Poppy pegged, just a basic bitch who thought too highly of herself with no regard for others at all. But Poppy was right; Bea barely knew her... and she wanted to know more.

"Why?" Bea turned to face Poppy. "Why are you a vegetarian, I mean. If you don't mind me asking."

Poppy made an annoyed expression. "I do mind, actually."

A grin spread on Bea's face. "Oh my god, you totally care about the animals."

When Poppy didn't respond, Bea continued. "First kids and now animals? My, my, Poppy, what will people say if they knew that their favorite she-devil is actually a big softie."

Poppy stopped eating and turned to give Bea a menacing glare. "If you tell anyone about this, you're dead."

After they finished eating, Bea and Poppy started planning for the party the next day. So naturally, more than a few shouts, insults, and curses were thrown around until they finally, finally, agreed on all the details. Since Poppy was the one with all the connections, she had to call for all the services needed. And when her trusty photographer told her he wasn't available, Poppy cursed in frustration.

"The party, it's not just about your GPA, is it. This is really important to you."

Poppy didn't answer and instead went back to make a few more phone calls.

When everything was settled, the storm had fully passed, and it was already safe to drive home. So imagine Bea's surprise when Poppy said that they were staying there for another night.

"I thought you hated this place."

"I do. But I'm not going to drive an hour home just to go back early tomorrow. Besides, we'll get things done much faster if we stay here."

Bea smiled. "Would you like some champagne?"

#poppy #poppy x mc #poppy min sinclair #queen b #choices #playchoices #play choices #my work #my fanfics #my writing

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nebulous-frog · 4 years ago

Text

Rest Now

Relationships: JonMartin

Summary: Jon and Martin arrive at the safehouse

Word Count: 1682

Link to AO3 Fics Masterlist

It was thunderstorming when they finally arrived, pulling up the near-forgotten path in a beat-up old car. On the drive, they hadn’t talked much- what was there to say? Since their last real conversation, neither had done anything that they particularly wanted to remember, and the inevitable discussion of what they’d just experienced was bound to be far too intense and emotional for their unexpected journey. Now, though, roughly twisting the key in the lock stuck from disuse, it was possible they’d have a chance for it to happen. For months- years, even- of emotions that should’ve been brought up ages ago.

Jon held back a grimace at the thought, awkwardly shuffling inside with his small bag and fumbling for a light switch. Part of him was desperate to get it over with, to finally air out all the dirty laundry and start afresh, to just be there for Martin in the ways he deserved. But another part, simultaneously logical and cowardly, was arguing that it was late, they’d had a long day, they were both exhausted. The conversation they needed to have was simply too much to cover while they were in such a state, he told himself.

“Jon?” Martin asked, voice quiet and tired.

Jon turned toward him expectantly, but he didn’t offer anything more, just gestured vaguely forward, and Jon realized he was still in the entryway.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Jon mumbled, stepping fully into the little cabin.

There were only a few rooms. The kitchen was tiny up against one side and shared the main open area with the living room and a small dining table. Directly across from the front door was a short hallway with a door on either side- presumably a bedroom and a bathroom.

Jon cleared his throat in time with a rumble of thunder.

“There’s some firewood over in that corner. I’ll get us a fire going,” he told Martin softly. “We should be able to get the radiator to start with a little work, but it’ll be easier tomorrow with more light.”

Martin nodded silently and walked slowly towards the hallway, slipping into the room on the left while Jon got busy with the firewood. He’d just coaxed some kindling into a flame when Martin came back in, hands wringing together. Jon recognized it as Martin’s anxious tell, which sent contradictory feelings through his system. On the one hand, Jon hated the thought that Martin was uncomfortable, but on the other he was just relieved that any feeling at all had pushed through the residual numbness of the Lonely.

“There’s, um, only the one bed,” Martin explained.

“Ah.” Jon glanced at the rickety loveseat sat in front of the fireplace, but Martin spoke again before he could make any suggestions.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch, Jon,” he said sternly, his protective caretaker instincts shining through. “I, uh,” he swallowed, already nervous again, “I was thinking we should share anyway, since it’ll be so cold and the bed actually is fairly big and- well- I just…” he trailed off for a moment, not looking at Jon, then seemed to steel himself even as he shrunk in on himself further and kept his eyes trained on the floor between them. “I don’t think I should really be alone right now.” The end of his sentence was almost a whisper, embarrassment and vulnerability clear in the blush high on his cheeks.

It’d been a long time since Jon had seen him blush. It was even prettier than he remembered, and he hoped he could see it a lot more in the coming days, ideally as the result of more positive emotions. Maybe Jon could even cause it himself… he chastised himself for the thought, trying to focus back on the present and caring for Martin now.

“Alright,” Jon agreed. He turned his head just enough to check that the fire was taking, then moved to stand from the floor. His legs were still stiff from the drive, so it took a bit more effort than he was expecting.

Martin appeared at his side immediately, offering an arm for stability. Jon gratefully took it until he could get his cane properly situated in his other hand. He reluctantly let go, briefly looking up at Martin’s face and catching a hint of an expression he didn’t know how to interpret before Martin’s face returned to a more neutral place- although the blush was still intense.

“I don’t know about you,” Jon started, “but sleep sounds wonderful right now.”

Martin nodded. “I put sheets on the bed already.”

Together, they walked back to the bedroom. Jon changed into his light pajamas in the bathroom while Martin took the bedroom. A few minutes later, they stood side by side facing the bed.

“Do you have a preference for which side...?” Jon asked. He was determinedly ignoring the part of his mind reminding him of his feelings for the man he was about to share a bed with.

It wasn’t that he worried his feelings were unrequited- he was quite certain that Martin felt the same, having Seen each other so completely in the Lonely. But they’d barely spoken in months, and so much had happened since then. So much had happened even in the last few days. It was a big step to now share a bed without even discussing their boundaries, and Jon didn’t want to be too much too fast.

“No preference,” Martin answered, pulling Jon from his thoughts.

“Boundaries,” he blurted. He felt his cheeks heat furiously, his discomfort and exhaustion sending him stumbling towards this conversation unprepared.

Martin blinked at him, obviously confused. “We… we only have two pillows? We can’t really make one between us-”

“No, no,” Jon continued, eyes darting from the bed to Martin to the floor and back as he fiddled with the black ring on his middle finger. He’d come this far, and it really was important to discuss anyway, so he pushed through his awkwardness. “I meant, well. Metaphorical boundaries for physical touch, in- in this situation. I, um. I don’t mind however close we end up.”

Martin’s own cheeks flushed to match how Jon’s felt. “Oh. I, uh. I don’t mind either?”

Jon nodded, now staring hard at the bed. “Right. We- we should probably have a more, er, detailed discussion. At some point. I think we’re on a, uh. Similar page, so to speak,” he glanced nervously up at Martin’s face, “but it would be good to- well, to clarify. Sooner than later. But I think we’re far too exhausted to be very coherent about it now.”

Martin’s cheeks were still a bright red as he squeaked out a “Yeah, that- that sounds good, Jon.”

Jon nodded once more. “Right.” He walked stiffly towards the bed, pulling back the covers and sliding in.

Martin cautiously joined him on the other side, and they both laid there for a minute, flat on their backs, staring at the ceiling in total silence. Both men were as close to the edge of the mattress as possible, leaving a canyon between them, bodies rigid.

After a few tense minutes of being afraid to even move, Jon huffed. “This is ridiculous,” he grumbled, more to himself than anything else, and he rolled over on his side to face Martin. They’d both just established that neither of them would mind being closer together, so he might as well get comfortable. He still gave Martin some space, but he’d at least crossed into their invisible barrier and hopefully broke some of the awkward tension.

In return, Martin turned just his head to look back at Jon. He swallowed thickly, eyes flitting across Jon’s face in the dark.

“You know,” Martin began in hushed tones, turning to look back at the ceiling, “the Lonely has a real talent for clinging to its victims.” He held up a hand as Jon started to interject. “It’s just. You could be surrounded by people and still feel alone, maybe even lonelier than when you’re actually alone.” He turned to Jon again, a heartbreakingly fond yet sad expression just visible to Jon in the darkness. He smiled sadly. “You can lie in bed with the man you love and still feel Lonely.”

A pained sound punched out of Jon. His firm, official declaration of his feelings needed to wait for the morning, as he insisted they take more space and grandeur for Martin than a moment like this, but he couldn’t leave that unanswered. He scooted even closer to Martin, minimizing the gap and resting a hand on Martin’s arm.

“The man I love,” he said, pulling Martin’s hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss, soft as can be, on his knuckles, “may sometimes feel lonely and discouraged,” he flipped Martin’s hand over and pressed another kiss to his palm, “but he must know,” one more kiss, now to the inside of Martin’s wrist, “he will never be alone again.” Jon stared directly into Martin’s eyes, kissing the back of his hand again and using his thumb to lightly rub over the spot.

Martin’s lips had parted slightly in a silent gasp, his eyebrows drawn together in a complicated combination of emotions that Jon couldn’t decipher. He took in a deep, shuddering breath. “Come here?” he whispered, raising his free arm in invitation.

Jon lifted himself slightly and settled half on top of Martin, his face buried in Martin’s neck. He wrapped his arms around Martin’s stomach and couldn’t help the content sigh he let out, relaxing fully as Martin’s arms came up around him. He revelled in the closeness and the softness of Martin under him and around him.

“Thank you,” Martin whispered. He pressed his lips to the top of Jon’s head. “Thank you.”

Jon shook his head and squeezed tighter. “Anything,” he whispered into Martin’s neck. “Anything.”

They held each other tightly, just breathing together, for a long moment, feeling as though finally something had gone right. They rested in the reassurance of each other’s presence, eventually drifting off into blissfully dreamless sleep.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jmart #jonmartin

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instasiswetrust · 4 years ago

Text

Rain patters against the window panes, filling the room with the cozy kind of silence that leaves you feeling lethargic no matter what time of the day it is. A thunderstorm had enveloped Hawkins like a shroud, refusing to budge despite the sunny morning that had greeted them.

Steve is all loose limbs, and comfortable warmth, cozy under the arms that wrap around his waist. He's got his head tucked under Billy's chin, ear pressed against his chest to listen to the steady beat of that heart. A heart that he almost thought he would never hear again after-

"Let's get out of this town. Drive out of the city, away from the crowds."

The words are spoken so quietly that if Steve didn't have his head on Billy's chest he doubts he would have been able to hear them. They are enough to make him lose his grim train of thought. Maybe for the better.

Wait, what?

It takes a moment for the words to register, a frown finding its way upon Steve's face. Propping himself up on his elbows he looks down at Billy with questioning eyes.

"Where would we even go?" Because he's not going to say no to an offer like that. Hawkins is too big at times, but other times it feels so small like he's suffocating just by existing among the borders of this town.

"Does it matter?" Billy's voice interrupts his thoughts, a gentle grin curling his lips. "We could just take one of the cars and drive out, see where the road takes us. Get out of Bumfuck, Indiana for a few days. Live a little."

"We live enough just by being in Hawkins."

"Fighting eldritch creatures from another dimension doesn't count."

"I don't know man, going toe to toe with a demodog makes me feel pretty alive."

Billy rolls his eyes but the way he tenses up, iron-clad defenses raising once again, makes it clear that he's serious about this. Steve doesn't give him time to take back his words though, leaning in to press a light kiss to the hollow of his throat.

After everything that happened with Neil, Billy almost dying and then moving in with him, Steve doesn’t have the heart to deny him this either.

"I will go with you. Wherever it is you want to go, even if it's to a shitty diner in Chicago three hours from here, then I will go with you."

He hopes Billy catches onto the real meaning of his words despite their playfulness. Because it's true, Steve would follow him back to California as long as that's what he wanted. As long as Billy asked him.

But he hadn't. And there was only a week left before Billy went back to California.

By now Steve had resigned himself and accepted the truth. That this thing they were doing, this sort of relationship they had stumbled upon, was bound to end just as summer did. The only thing he wished for, the single thing he would ever ask of Billy, was to at least remember him.

“But for real, is there somewhere you want to go?” He asked, hoping to push the depressing thoughts of his love life to the back of his mind for now. If he wanted to have a crisis about how everyone he had ever loved always left him, he could do that once Billy left for UCLA.

“I know your music taste is all pop bullshit but you have heard of Summerfest, right?”

“The music festival in Milwaukee? It’s been advertised on the radio for a while now. Something about Bryan Adams being there, I think.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” Did Billy sound nervous? Why? “You want to go?”

Steve blinked in confusion, sitting up a bit so he was straddling Billy’s lap and could face him. “I mean, it would be cool but the tickets sold out weeks ago.”

“Got in contact with some old friends from Cali. Managed to snatch a couple of tickets.” Billy shrugged, smirking up at Steve despite the slight hint of nervousness. “Wanna take that drive now, Princess?”

---

A day later they had everything ready.

The Camaro's trunk was packed with two duffel bags with enough spare clothes for a week, snacks, bottles of water, and a first aid kit Joyce had forced into their hands before leaving. Steve hoped they wouldn't need to use it, though.

It was Jonathan's gift that had made him tear up a little. He had fixed his old Polaroid camera and offered it to Steve with a decent amount of film already inside it. Something told him that it might've been Nancy's idea but either way he was glad.

He didn’t know he needed a physical way to remember this week but was glad to have it.

Billy doesn't comment on it once they are back in the car but he does raise his eyebrows in a silent question. Steve just shrugs, not feeling like untangling the complicated knot of emotions lodged somewhere inside his chest.

---

It's still light outside when they make their first stop.

There's no finesse in the way they scramble into the backseat of the Camaro, nothing delicate about the way Billy tugs him into his lap, just desire and barely contained desperation. Then they are kissing again, wet and messy and perfect.

They are parked in the middle of some woods somewhere on the way to Chicago. Steve's not sure exactly where anymore, having forgone the map maybe half an hour after they left Hawkins. It's not like it matters. It's not like anything matters other than the heat of Billy's skin on his. His kisses, the bruises he litters on pale skin, and the way he can't seem to stop touching Steve like he will disappear if Billy so much as blinks.

And Steve understands. He really does. Because once summer ends and Billy has to leave Hawkins for UCLA, there will be no more moments like these. No more nights of having the blond next to him in bed when he goes to sleep. No more shared meals on the couch while going through his parent's VHS collection.

There will be no more them.

So instead of focusing on the unbearable ache the thought alone creates in his chest, Steve chooses to focus his attention on pushing Billy down against the leather seat and moving back so he can work on getting those tight jeans low enough for him to bring Billy's cock to his lips.

"Fuck! Baby, that feels so-" Familiar fingers bury themselves into his hair, pulling on the strands and making him moan. He relaxes his jaw then, looking up at Billy who seems to have caught on to his intentions if the smirk on his lips is anything to go by.

"You want me to fuck your mouth, baby? Make you choke on my cock?"

"Pwhease." Talking with his mouth as full as it is isn't easy but he's rewarded by the look on Billy's face. His eyes darken, his lips part and the grip on Steve's hair tightens. It’s enough to send heat pooling low in Steve’s abdomen, a muffled whine escaping his lips.

Billy starts up with slow, barely contained thrusts, his eyes never straying away from the sight between his legs. He knows how much Steve likes

Considering how keyed up they already were, it’s no surprise when Billy only lasts a few minutes before he's coming hot and heavy down Steve’s throat. He swallows everything, choking a little on the cock still inside his mouth. He only pulls away when the grip on his hair finally grows lax.

Steve barely gets enough time to catch his breath before Billy is surging up and dragging him into a messy kiss, licking into his mouth and chasing the taste of himself on those lips. It should be gross. Hell, it is gross. But somehow it's also one of the hottest things Steve's ever experienced and he can't help but moan into the kiss.

His breath hitches turning into a whine when he feels Billy's spit-slick hand inside his briefs, wrapping around his cock. He's already so sensitive that there's not a single ounce of shame in him as he ruts into the touch, needy sounds falling like raindrops from parted lips.

"Billy, Billy, please- Fuck, I want-"

"Jesus, you look so pretty like this. So needy. Gonna come for me already, baby?"

“Uh-huh”

“Ask me pretty, baby, c’mon.”

"Let me come, please Billy." Steve whimpers softly, arms coming up to wrap themselves around tanned shoulders. He's shaking from the pleasure, muscles tense and every nerve alight. So damn close, already.

It's then that Billy starts to jack him off in earnest, thumb pressing against that sensitive spot just under the head with each upward stroke, his mouth otherwise occupied with suckling at the freckles that litter the skin of Steve’s neck and shoulder.

“Billy I-” Steve’s eyes roll back and his teeth clamp down on his bottom lip in a futile attempt to muffle the loud moan that slips out from his chest. It’s only when he bats Billy’s hand away from his cock that he finally starts to feel like he can catch his breath again.

#WIPs #roadtrip au #stranger things #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #lemons #???#is that how we're tagging these now??

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vintagedolan · 4 years ago

Text

mixtape | track thirteen

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

Sean died in January, and it was cold. That much Grayson remembered. The funeral was fuzzy apart from a few very vivid memories, including one of sitting outside on a bench, the wind cutting through his slacks and freezing his legs. His arms were so cold he couldn’t even feel the wind on them through the numbness, seeing that his suit jacket was wrapped around Cameron’s shoulders. He’d borrowed one of his dad’s ties - it was a tacky pattern but subtle in color. Sean had worn it to the twin’s 8th grade night for football when he’d walked them proudly across the field with the biggest smile on his face. He shivered. But it was still better than being inside, looking at the casket that had his dad but not his dad inside.

That suit was gone. He hadn’t been able to look at it after that day, so he’d donated it, despite his mother’s qualms that he may need a nice suit again someday.

That day was coming much quicker than he expected, and that’s how he found himself in the back of a department store sifting through racks of jackets. But there was one bright spot in the scenario, and she was looking through ties on a table to his left.

Indy held one up with a soft smile, the most she’d been able to offer him in the last day.

“She liked blue.”

Grayson could only nod, the knot in his throat stealing his voice. He took the tie, running his thumb over the silky fabric. They were quiet as they went through and found him a few suit options to try on. Indy had to hold them up high so nothing dragged the ground as they headed to the fitting rooms.

She sat in a hard plastic chair outside, crossing her legs and fighting her emotions. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel. After all, there was no reference, no textbook on the expected emotions of preparing for a funeral of a 15 year old with your ex. If he even was an ex. They’d woken up that morning in bed together after all, with his warm breath on her back, arm around her, hand tucked under her rib cage like it used to be.

And she felt warm. And safe. And guilty.

How could she have a flicker of happiness in a world without Bekah? How could she be grateful, or glad that Grayson was just two doors down fiddling with suit buttons when her being gone was the reason he was there?

It was a blessing, the hold he still seemed to have on her. Because as soon as he walked out her mind went blank for a moment, only able to process him, and his broad shoulders and strong arms that she could still see under his jacket.

“This is the best of the three. What do you think?”

It took her a minute to find her words. “Yeah, it looks nice. Very… funeraly.”

Grayson looked in the mirror. “Funeraly. Well, that’s the idea I guess. Works for me.”

He disappeared again, coming back out in his nice pants and crewneck. He looked good, but the look of worry in his eyes made Indy uneasy. She didn’t like when people worried about her.

“Let’s go find you a dress.”

She’d been dreading that part. She wasn’t much of a dress girl most the time, but she wanted to look her best for Bekah. She deserved that. So with a sigh she led Grayson across the store to the women’s section, looking for anything black she could find.

He was patient, offering his hand out to hold any of the options she found to try. She only found three that didn’t look like they were meant for a night out, and Grayson took the spot in the plastic chair while she tried them on. They all fit, but her favorite was the long sleeved number she’d found - tight enough to be flattering, and long enough to be modest and warm, with a long metal zipper that she couldn’t quite get all the way up on her back.

She reached and stretched as far as she could before she huffed in defeat, unsure of whether she should ask him for help. Was that weird? Or was she just making it weird.

After another moment of contemplation, she stepped out in it, stomach fluttering against her will when she saw Grayson look up and catch his breath.

“Can you…” She moved her hair out of the way, revealing her back. He stopped breathing for a second, chair clanging against the wall as he rushed to stand up.

“Yeah, yeah of course.”

He moved behind her quickly, finger delicate against her spine as he moved to the zipper. It sat right below her bra clasp, and he recognized it as the one with a bent hook, a casualty of the dryer that he’d accidentally put it in back in November. He realized he was taking too long and zipped it up quickly, patting it lightly at the top to let her know he was done.

He met her eyes in the mirror, and realized she’d been watching him the whole time.

“Do you think this will be warm enough?”

“We’ll probably be inside most the time, so it should be okay.”

She nodded at him, disappearing back into the dressing room and taking a few deep breaths. Nothing felt real for some reason, and it took all her effort to settle herself, keep herself in the moment she didn’t want to be in. She stripped out of the dress quickly and slid it back on the hanger. It wasn’t worth the argument when Grayson held his hand out for it when they headed towards the counter. With her inability to work shifts her bank account was grateful for his that seemed to always be overflowing. Surely a $50 dress wouldn’t break the bank, but she still thanked him when he swiped his card.

They walked into the parking lot in silence, and she climbed into the truck when Grayson pulled the door open for her. He sat the bags in the backseat once he climbed in, starting it up and cranking the heat up. The air was still cold, cold enough for Indy to shove her hands under her thighs in a bid to keep them warm. Grayson frowned and grabbed his jacket from the back, passing it to her.

“Thanks,” she said, laying it over her lap and smoothing out the wrinkles. She was rigid in her seat, especially when Gray reached his hand over to the back of hers so he could back out of the parking space. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath till both his hands were back on his side of the console.

She hated it. Hated feeling like he was watching, waiting for her to fall apart at any given moment. But she loved it too, because if he was there to look at her with pity it meant he was there. Her mind was exhausted with the constant battle of trying to put a word to her emotions, to guide them into whatever box they were supposed to be in.

To Grayson, it just looked like she was numb. Her eyes were trained on the New Jersey roads every time he glanced over to her, either out the windshield or through the passenger window. He wanted to talk to her, wanted to know what she was feeling, wanted to grovel on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Instead, he held his tongue and continued down the road, 10 under the speed limit just to buy a few more extra minutes with her close enough to reach. He wasn’t sure what would happen when they got to the house. If she wanted to go upstairs, to avoid him until the funeral, he’d understand. He’d let her, even if it hurt. He deserved that. He’d sit at the bottom of the stairs and wait, and listen, and hope she didn’t need him but also hope she did.

The two played their own games of tug-o-war, parallel to each other until they made it to the house. Ethan was on the porch with Gizmo’s cage in his hands, holding it up and talking to her as they walked in.

“See Giz? It’s too fucking cold out here.”

“Brrr,” Gizmo squawked.

“Yeah, fuckin brrr. So you gotta stop screaming to come outside before Ma loses her mind.”

“You sure you aren’t the one losing your mind?” Grayson asked with a smirk aimed towards his brother.

“Outside!” Gizmo yelled and Ethan clenched his fists.

“Did you all find outfits?” Ethan asked to distract himself, looking at Grayson’s empty hands.

“Shit, yeah I left them in the truck though. I’ll grab em Dee, go get warm.”

Indy nodded and walked inside slowly, taking her shoes off and sitting them neatly by the door. She walked to the living room, sitting down carefully on the couch with her eyes trained on the woods. Even the squirrels seemed to be grieving, moving slow through the grass at the tree line. She watched them anyways, envied their oblivion of all the tragedy of the world as Grayson hung up their clothes in the coat closet and watched her from the foyer.

Her shoulders were slumped forward, and it pained him to see her literally curled in on herself in a way that he hadn’t seen before. He ran through a million different things he could say, but none of them seemed good enough. There were never words for times like these, and he knew that. Sometimes, it was better to just sit in silence. So he gave it to her for a few minutes longer, disappearing to the other room where his conversation wouldn’t be overheard.

When he reappeared, Indy was watching a robin, feathers bright red against the dreary gray of the sky outside by the bird feeder. He stepped into her gaze, offering her a soft smile.

“C’mon. Let’s get you some warm clothes and get outta here for a little while, hmm?”

“Where are we going?” Her tone was flat, and it made his chest feel tight.

“You’ll see. Just trust me.”

Those words hung heavy in Indiana’s mind as she followed him upstairs, let him pass her an old pair of boots that were too big for her and his thickest jacket to fight off the cold snap that seemed to follow the warm air that had brought the thunderstorms.

Just trust me

She did. Or at least, she wanted to, and she willfully climbed back into the passenger seat of the truck, let him drive them down the road on the route that was familiar now. They made it all the way to the tiny homes without seeing another car. Indy felt like the universe was sad with her somehow, and she was grateful for it. She wasn’t sure she could handle seeing someone smile as if the world was still the same happy place it used to be.

She blindly followed Grayson until she realized they were going around the house instead of inside of it.

“Where are we going?” She asked again. Her voice echoed off the trees.

He simply held out his hand. She took it without question, ignoring the tirade of contradicting emotions it stirred in her gut. He still had his callous where his pinky met his palm, but it was softer than usual against her skin.

They walked through the trees slowly until they reached the cliff that Indy recognized from the first time she’d been out to Jersey. It felt like lifetimes ago that she’d been there, but the water still flowed and she still clung to Grayson’s arm the closer they got to the edge.

“Come sit over here,” he coaxed, leading her towards the middle and helping her sit down slowly. Once she was settled he sat down beside her, ignoring the cold that seeped through his pants from the ground below him. He could see his breath in front of him, but he kept his eyes on the water running far below his feet.

“Gray.”

He tried to ignore the way his heart sung - she said his name better than anyone.

“Why are we here?” She asked.

He was quiet for a moment, and he picked at his fingernails before he spoke.

“I used to come out here a lot when I was younger and got overwhelmed. I don’t like being around people when I need to feel something, you know? Well, I can only be around certain people anyways.”

The fact that Indy seemed to be one of those people wasn’t lost on her as she listened to him.

“I just thought coming out here might help.”

“Me or you?”

“What?”

“Is it supposed to help me or you?”

“I was hoping both,” Grayson said.

To his surprise, Indy chuckled under her breath and shook her head.

“Well, I’m fine. I’ve done this before after all. Should be pretty good at having people I love die on me by now.”

Grayson couldn’t find the words for a response, and his cheeks flushed from her tone. She’d never been so short with him before, and he felt embarrassed to think that somehow he’d be the one who could help her when it seemed no one else could. But he swallowed hard and looked over to her.

“I’m not fine. And you knew her longer than I did. And I know something about losing people too. That doesn’t mean it ever gets any easier.”

Something in his words seemed to pull her out of her defensiveness, and she took in a shaky breath, eyes brimmed with tears.

“Sorry.”

“S’okay. You can have a redo, if you want,” he teased, bumping her shoulder gently just to see her try to smile.

“I know you get it, I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I don’t know how to do this.”

“Nobody knows how to do this Dee. No one knows how to lose a 15 year old that was supposed to be here for a lot longer than she was,” Grayson said, clearing his throat when it tightened. Indy sniffled and rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her jacket. She was quiet for a moment and they listened to the wind rustle the trees until she spoke again.

“Her mom wants me to write her eulogy.”

“Fuck, Indy.”

“I’ve never done one before. Charlie did mom’s.”

“Do you want to do it?”

“I want her to have one,” Indy sighed, picking at the grass. “A good one though. Not the one that the preacher does where they pretend like they knew her when they really didn’t.”

Grayson reached for her hand and waited for her to look up at him.

“Maybe Charlie can help. I called her, when we got back to the house. She’s flying out tomorrow.”

Indy froze, then turned so quickly that Grayson put a hand on her hip to keep her steady on the cliff’s edge.

“Really? She’s coming?”

Grayson nodded. “I know that things are… hard, with us right now. And I know that things are always better for me when Ethan is around so I figured it couldn’t hurt. I think her flight comes in at -”

Before he could finish Indy threw her arms around his neck. He wrapped her up as best he could without pulling her over the edge, scooting them back slightly to keep her safe as he held her as tightly as he could through all their layers.

“Thank you,” she whispered over the trees. She couldn’t find any other words to express what it meant to her, so she left it at that and breathed him in in secret while he held her. He turned his head to press a kiss to her temple but stopped himself, squeezing her tighter instead before they untangled.

She pondered her next question for a moment, then decided she truly had nothing left to lose.

“Can we stay out here tonight? At the house.”

Grayson paused for a minute, stopping himself from immediately saying yes, reminding himself not to take advantage.

“You wanna stay at the tiny house?”

She nodded, fingers going back to the grass, and she kicked her legs so the heels of her boots bounced slightly off the rocks.

“The funeral is tomorrow. I need to write the eulogy, and I don’t want a bunch of people around while I do that.”

Silence hung heavy until he gained the confidence to ask.

“Am I… one of the people that can be around?”

For the first time in a long time, Indy smiled.

“Did you think I was gonna kick you out of your house?”

Grayson chuckled and shook his head.

“I mean you did break my heart, so it would be fair though.”

He froze.

Indy laughed so hard it bounced off the trees, made a few birds take off on the other side of the water.

“I’m fucking kidding,” she said, nudging his shoulder so he’d let out the breath he’d been holding.

“Jesus fuck Indy, don’t do that! Too soon!” He huffed, but he was laughing too, heart light as he saw the first glimpse of the girl he’d fallen in love with since he’d gotten home. It was easier to breathe with her around, even in spite of everything else going on. He looked at her, tried to take her in, but he stopped short with a frown when she tried to hide a shiver.

“You’re cold.”

“Just a little,” she mused.

“Ma is making dinner, we’ll go home, eat, pack some stuff then come back out here.” Indy only nodded and let him help her to her feet. She held onto his arm until they were off the cliff, and after that too. Over top of his jacket, she traced 333 on his bicep, eyes on his tattoo that was barely visible under his growing hair. She wondered if he’d gotten any more while he was in LA.

She wondered a lot about what he’d done while he was in LA, whether she wanted to or not. But she wanted to know if he’d been up every night thinking about her. If he’d cried in the shower as many times as she did.

She wondered if he’d hurt.

And she wondered how much she would hurt when he decided it was time to go back. Her mind was screaming as she clung to him, wary that she wasn’t keeping him at an arm's length like she had swore she would.

Her heart drowned it out, singing quietly deep within her at the familiar firmness of his muscles under her hand, the warmth of him beside her.

She’d take whatever hell was sure to follow with open arms if it meant she could be back in his, even for a little while.

Grayson played Cudi on the way back to Lisa’s and tried to hide his smile when he heard Indy singing along quietly beside him. He used the time to think of his pitch to Ethan, his plan for how they could split time on each coast, or even manage most of it from offices in New York. It wasn’t his top priority - that was getting Indy through the funeral. But he couldn’t hold off for long.

The house was warm when they arrived in more ways than one - cozy and filled with the smell of spaghetti that had Indy’s mouth watering for the first time in days. Grayson breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her fill her bowl, happy to see her appetite had returned.

Still, when they sat around the table, Ethan and Lisa were cautious to start a conversation, worried they’d say something that could trigger the wrong emotions. After listening to the scrapes of forks against porcelain for too many minutes, Indy cleared her throat.

“I think we should do something a little different tonight. Something to help everyone’s spirits.”

Everyone breathed.

“Yeah?” Grayson said.

“I say we eat on the couch and watch Emperor’s New Groove in true Bekah fashion,” she proposed, standing with her bowl. No one questioned her - they simply followed into the living room with their dinner in hand.

They laughed at all the right times during the movie, and the world was okay for just a minute. Indy still ached deep within herself, guilt punctuating each smile she let creep up, but she fought it like she’d learned to after Nicole had died.

Grayson was asleep before Kuzco made it back to the castle, exhaustion catching up with him quickly. He was heavy against Indy when he leaned onto her, one arm going over her waist. She felt Ethan’s eyes on the two of them but she ignored it until he came closer, speaking in a whisper.

“Charlie’s flight gets in around 7, I’ll go get her so you all have time to get some sleep,” he offered.

“Thanks E. And thanks for coming with him.”

“Of course. And hey, anything you need Inds. Literally anything, just tell me. We’re all here for you.”

She bit her lip and looked down at Grayson.

“Is he okay?” She asked.

Ethan gave her a small smile.

“This is gonna sound fucked up, considering what we're all doing tomorrow, but… this is the best I’ve seen him since we left actually. I mean, he feels like shit for not being here for, well for either of you. He just wants to take care of you as best he can.”

“He’s always been pretty good at doing that,” she murmured, brushing some of Grayson’s hair back from his forehead. He stirred, curling up closer to her.

“Get some sleep Indy. Love yah,” Ethan said, leaning over and giving her a peck on the top of the head.

She sat with Grayson for a bit longer, let him rest until her arm went fully numb and she knew she’d fall asleep with him unless she got up.

She coaxed him up and made him give her the keys, let him climb in the passenger seat as she packed up a bag of pajamas and their clothes for the morning. He was asleep against the window by the time she got back in the cab, and she was happy to let him sleep. She figured he’d be happy to climb into bed when they got to the tiny homes, but he shook himself awake on the walk inside, cranking the heat up once they cleared the threshold.

“I’m okay bub, you can sleep.”

“You’re not gonna sleep?” He said instead of conceding.

“I need to write the eulogy.”

His eyes saddened in understanding, and then he was rummaging through the bag for the paper he knew she’d packed. He sat it down on the small table and then returned to the kitchen.

Indy watched him as he pulled two mugs down from the cabinets, the clay ones with tiny “I” and “G”’s stamped into the speckled surface. They’d found them at the craft fair they’d stumbled across back in November and picked them up, but Indy realized it was the first time they’d used them as Grayson made them a cup each.

“Gray.”

“What do you need,” he asked quietly.

“Um… space, I think. Just so I can think clearly for a little bit. It’s not anything you did, I promise, it’s jus-”

“Dee, you don’t have to explain. It’s okay. I’ll be upstairs. Take your time, okay?”

She nodded and took the cup he offered with a grateful smile, turning to the table to work.

As much as it went against every instinct in his body, he left her sitting there and moved up the stairs to the loft. Even without the coffee that he downed, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to sleep. Especially not when he heard Indy’s pen clicking against the table, followed by her sniffles that seemed to amplify in the high ceilings.

He stared at the slats of wood and tapped his fingers against each other as he fought to stay still, give her the space she asked for. He was sure it was just part of the process, and he didn’t want to interrupt her. It could have been minutes or hours, he wasn’t sure, but when her sniffles turned to sobs, he didn’t have the willpower anymore.

She heard him coming down the stairs and broke down even further, burying her face in her hands.

“Hey, baby hey it’s okay. You’re okay,” he whispered. “Take a break.”

She knew she shouldn’t. She knew it was wrong, that she shouldn’t want to. But the need for comfort was too strong, and she broke. She stood from the table and walked over towards the small bench seat. Grayson sat first and she didn’t hesitate to climb into his lap. She buried her face in his neck and let the misery have her, let her body shake with the force of her pain and let him absorb it too. She let him hold her, let him love her the way she always thought he had. And it felt good there in his arms. The world was lighter with him there to split the weight. She knew it would crush her when he was gone, but she didn’t care. She wanted to believe Ethan’s words, that Grayson was better there with her, and it was just enough to make her feel like maybe she wasn’t a terrible person for giving in.

Indy fell asleep in Grayson’s arms. He didn’t care whether the eulogy was finished or not - he picked her up and moved slowly across the room, carrying her up the stairs carefully. She woke up just enough to grab for his hand, a silent invitation that he was happy to take. He climbed into bed beside her, let her curl up into him as he set an alarm he didn’t want to wake up for. They slept peacefully despite it all.

The next morning felt like a dream in the worst way. Nothing seemed to really be happening as they woke up and got dressed in black. Grayson looked good in his suit, but that was about the only thing Indiana noticed. He helped zip her dress and put her eulogy in his jacket pocket.

“You ready?” He asked as she fixed the lapels on his jacket.

“No,” she sighed, but she walked out the door anyway. He drove to the house as the sun rose over the Jersey hills. They were quiet, and Indy watched the trees go by, watched the world spin as if nothing was different that day. It made her angry, the same way it had the morning of Nicole’s funeral. But she’d learned that day that the world had no consideration for anyone, no matter what you gave her. So she swallowed it down and kept herself as numb as she could until they pulled into Lisa’s driveway and she remembered where Ethan had gone that morning.

“She’s here,” Indy said, her voice strained. It was the most emotion Grayson had seen out of her that morning, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. But he didn’t get a chance to ask, because Indy was throwing her door open and bolting for the house.

She found what she was looking for in the living room.

Charlie was sitting on the edge of the couch in a black dress, and as soon as she saw Indiana she was on her feet, rushing down the hallway.

Indy was sobbing before she reached her, but Charlie caught her and wrapped her up in the hug that only she could give, and Grayson watched as his girl went to pieces. Charlie held strong like big sisters do, shushing Indiana and coaxing her over to the couch, helping her sit down as she cried into her shoulder.

“You’re okay, hey, you’re alright. Breathe,” she said, but her eyes were on Grayson.

“She’s gone,” Indy blubbered, and Charlie winced at the pain in her voice.

“I know. I know.”

Grayson stood with useless hands in his pockets and tears in the corner of his eyes. He hoped that giving Indy her sister, even just for the day, was enough to help more than he could on his own. When her tears finally stopped, it seemed his plan had worked, even if it was only marginally. She ate a muffin that Lisa had made, and made everyone coffee just the way they liked it to keep her mind and hands busy as everyone got ready to go. She didn’t bother with makeup. It wouldn’t survive the day, that she was sure of. Lisa hovered, made sure everyone had enough to eat before they climbed into the SUV. She waved goodbye from the porch as they pulled away, the funeral home in the GPS.

It was a somber drive. No one even tried for conversation. Charlie sat in the backseat with Indy, privy to the fact that Grayson glanced back at her every few minutes to check in. Each time she was staring out the window again, chewing her cheek.

Indy didn’t know whether the ride was long or short. She didn’t know much of anything other than she felt like she was going to be sick as they parked. Cold air rushed in as Grayson opened her door and helped her down.

“You okay?” He asked, just for her.

She nodded, but they both knew it was a lie.

They passed car after car in the parking lot - almost every space was filled it seemed. Somewhere in her mind, Indy hadn’t processed how many people probably knew Bekah. How many people cared.

Still, she felt alone in the world when she walked inside of the building. The carpet was dark, with swirling patterns of gold and roses. The entryway felt gold, but the parlor to the left was colder. It was marked with a sign.

Bekah Andrea Newcomb. 2pm.

Indiana couldn’t breathe. She reached to her left, finding Grayson where she knew he would be, holding onto his arm like she had in the hospital room.

“We can wait as long as you need Indy. There’s no rush to go in there.”

Her voice failed her and she only nodded. Grayson didn’t move an inch until she did a few minutes later, gathering the strength to step inside. It was fragrant, both in the way an unpleasant place is and in the way a floral shop was. There were enough bouquet arrangements around to fill a house. It was overwhelming, but not so much that Indy didn’t notice the photos. She couldn’t look at them - she’d go to her knees if she let herself even process a single one. So she kept her eyes forward as they walked to the opening of the door on the right.

There was a wide middle aisle, lined with pews on either side full of people.

At the end was Bekah.

Even from afar, she looked cold inside her casket. Indy’s mouth tasted like metal as she forced herself to walk forward. Grayson walked tall beside her, but she could hear him sniffling above her. The Newcomb’s were beside their daughter, and they offered sympathetic smiles as they noticed the pair headed down the aisle. Luckily, they didn’t say anything - they simply stepped away to give them privacy as they made their way towards the casket.

Indy held her breath as she got closer, eyes blurry as she looked down into the casket, her hands finding the cold wood when she reached it.

“Oh,” she whispered. Grayson coughed out a sob, wrapping his arm around Indy’s waist and turning his face into her hair.

Bekah looked like herself, but didn’t. Her hands were folded neatly over her stomach, above her hoodie pockets. It took a moment for Indy to realize what she was wearing. A purple hoodie, her favorite leggings and her thunderbolt headscarf.

Her lungs tightened.

“No, no that’s not right. It’s not right,” she whispered, shaking her head as her hands fluttered above Bekah.

“What? What’s wrong?” Grayson asked.

“Her hoodie, she wanted her blue hoodie, that’s the one she asked for, that’s what we told her they were gonna find her in. She needs her hoodie, Gray she needs her hoodie, get her hoodie.” She couldn’t get a breath through her throat as she choked on her words, looking to Grayson for help. His face was twisted up in pain as he guided her away from the casket.

“It’s okay Indy, it’s okay,” he cried.

“She needs her hoodie,” she sobbed, holding onto his lapel to keep him close to her and to hide her face. All he could do was hold her and cry. No one looked at them and he was grateful as he led her back out of the room, back to where Ethan and Charlie were waiting. It took her a few minutes to catch her breath, even with Charlie’s hand on her shoulder. The eldest Cross put herself between her sister and Grayson, her protective instincts taking over. Grayson couldn’t be angry. He’d step aside happily if it helped Indy.

Her sister seemed to help to calm her down enough to catch her breath after a few minutes.

“Sorry, I don’t know what happened in there,” she whispered eventually, looking over Charlie’s shoulder to find Grayson’s eyes.

“Hey, no apologies today Dee. It’s okay.”

She tried to believe him, tried to accept that it was okay. Something about the sincerity in his voice made her trust him.

“I wanna go look at the pictures,” she said quietly, wiping her eyes and standing up to smooth out her dress. “Get some new images in my head.”

Grayson stepped closer to her, offering her his arm as they headed back to the parlor. Things were calmer as they started to look at all the frames. Grayson smiled at the first picture he saw of Bekah with hair, her afro tall and proud as she stood with a small soccer trophy and a smile so big it closed her eyes.

“She taught me how to do twists once,” Indy smiled, leaning her cheek on Grayson’s bicep. “I sucked at it I’m pretty sure but it was better than nothing.”

“I’ve never seen her with hair before.”

“It made her so sad to lose it every time. She always said it was the worst part.”

“My dad hated losing his. Can’t imagine.”

“Oh my god, look at this one,” Indy smiled, moving to the next frame on the table. It was Bekah in the pool as a toddler, with round pink sunglasses and a purple floaty, with her dad behind her, pushing her along it seemed.

“She always told me she hated water.”

“She did.”

Indy turned to see Martina behind her. Her eyes were puffy but she had a small smile on her face.

“When she was four she fell off a pool float with her cousin, almost drowned. Ever since then she never even put a toe in,” she explained. She stepped up next to Indy, putting an arm around her shoulder.

“Thank you for coming. It means the world to us that you’re here, and that you’re speaking later.”

Grayson realized quickly he wasn’t part of the conversation, and he excused himself with a reassuring look to Indy. Charlie was still where she’d started out in the entryway, eyes darting around nervously. It was obvious she was uncomfortable, and whether it was because she didn’t like funerals or didn’t know anyone, he wasn’t sure. Either way she hid it well when Indy needed her, but she didn’t bother with the facade when Grayson approached.

“She okay?” was his greeting.

“She’s talking to Mrs. Newcomb. She seems alright, considering.”

“Considering,” Charlie laughed dryly. “Yeah, she’s been through hell and back. But you know that.”

It stung, even though it was deserved.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“Well. In my experience what you meant to do doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you did.”

“I know.”

“I’m glad you’re here, but I’m scared to see what happens when you leave her again.”

“Charlie, I’m not gonna le-”

Suddenly, Charlie stiffened, eyes trained over his shoulder on something outside the front doors that made him cut his explanation short.

“Fuck,” she hissed.

“What? What is it?” Panic rose in Grayson’s throat as he followed her gaze.

There was a man in a navy blue suit walking through the parking lot. It wasn’t someone Grayson recognized, but nonetheless the hair on the back of his neck stood up. On instinct, he side stepped in front of Charlie, blocking her from the door.

“Who is that?”

“Our fucking dad.”

“What?“ Grayson whirled. “How the fuck did he even know about this?”

“I told him I was coming into town, he asked why, so I told him. Jesus, I didn’t think he was gonna show up! Indy’s gonna freak if she sees him, she can’t see him.”

“Don’t move,” he said, darting out of the entryway to peek into the viewing room. Indy was towards the front, talking to some of Bekah’s relatives it seemed. He caught sight of Ethan and moved to him quickly, putting a hand on his shoulder and trying to make it seem as casual as he could.

“Keep Indy busy and whatever you do, don’t let her go outside.”

Thankfully, Ethan didn’t ask for an explanation, and he simply started to move towards the front of the room as Grayson exited out the back, just in time to get to the front door before Kenneth made it in.

To his surprise, Charlie was right beside him when the heavy wooden door closed behind them.

He was shorter than Grayson expected. It was obvious his hair had once been blonde, but it was gray now, badly managed with box dye that he could still see remnants of by his ears.

Charlie’s breathing sped up and Grayson took a step closer to her, just barely in front of her.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Kenneth, who stopped short at the bottom of the three brick-layed stairs.

His eyes were blue when he looked up. They skipped over Grayson’s broad frame to Charlie and softened just a fraction.

“Char.”

She stiffened, and Grayson held his ground.

“Sir, this is a funeral. A funeral I don’t believe you were invited to.”

Kenneth’s eyes went cold the way a father’s do when they’re threatened, and he fixed them on Grayson. Gray enjoyed the fact that he had to crane his neck to see him.

“And who exactly might you be?” Kenneth spat.

“I could ask you the same question sir.”

“The fuck are you, a funeral bouncer?”

Grayson flexed his knuckles.

“Sure, if that’s what you want to call me. Either way, you aren’t welcome here and you need to go.”

“Look, I’m here to see my daughter, alright? Now get out of my way.”

“I can’t do that.”

Kenneth narrowed his eyes as it clicked.

“Ahhh. So you’re the boyfriend then.”

Grayson stayed quiet, but his stomach turned at the smirk that creeped across the man’s face.

“Get out of my way, boy.”

“I can’t do that,” Grayson repeated himself and set his feet.

Kenneth moved up another step, but he stopped, eyes on Grayson’s elbow where a hand had appeared.

Charlie.

“What’s her name?”

Kenneth laughed. It was an ugly sound.

“Are you kidding me Charlie? You think I don’t know your sister’s name? Give me a fucking break.”

Grayson saw the tears brim in Charlie’s eyes, and he clenched his fists.

“No. I’m talking about the 15 year old whose funeral you’re using for your own personal gain. What’s her name?”

Kenneth didn’t have an answer. Charlie stepped in front of Grayson, standing toe to toe with her father as she took a deep breath.

“Leave. You aren’t welcome here. You aren’t welcome anywhere near my sister, or me for that matter.”

“Charlie.”

“What type of piece of shit do you have to be to show up when your daughter is hurting like this? Hmm?”

“I just knew she’d be here-”

“You also know her address, Dad. You chose here because you want her weak, you want her to need you and she doesn’t. Get out. Leave. I’m not playing this game anymore.”

“Charlie c’mon.” Grayson could see the panic in Kenneth’s eyes as he realized what his eldest was really saying.

“Indiana has always been so much smarter than me. And I should have listened to her when she told me to not give you the time of day.” She shook her head, a few tears slipping past her eyelashes, taking mascara with them.

“Charlie, you’re all I have left.”

“Yeah, and you did that to yourself. Now, I have a funeral to get to, and if you try to follow me I’ll let him beat you into the ground like you deserve.”

With that, she turned and walked back through the doors.

Grayson stared at the broken man for a moment longer, and then he turned to follow her. She was sitting in one of the big chairs by the table by the window, hands shaking slightly as she brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Hey, you okay?” He squatted down beside her to get to her eye level. He saw Indy in the way her lips shook while she breathed, trying to pull it together.

“Do you want me to call Dev?”

She shook her head with a dry laugh.

“No, he’s already worried enough about me. I’m okay. Thank you for that, by the way. Pretty sure he would have just walked right past me if you weren’t out there. I shouldn’t have even told him about this.”

“You didn’t know he was gonna show up. I’m just glad he didn’t make it inside,” Grayson sighed, eyes flickering over to make sure Indy couldn’t see them. Charlie knew what he was looking for.

“Well, you’re the hero of the day Dolan. I’m sure deflecting the dead beat father counts for some brownie points in winning her over,” she said.

Grayson’s brows furrowed when he looked at her. He reached to the table and pulled a tissue for her to wipe her mascara with before he spoke.

“I wasn’t gonna tell her. No need to stress her out more than she already is, you know?”

Charlie looked at him for a moment, her head cocking to the right just barely, and she smiled just barely.

“Yeah. Right,” she agreed.

“I’m gonna go find her, but come get me if you need me okay?”

She nodded, smiling when he patted her knee and moved back into the parlor. Ethan was walking around with Indy, looking at all the floral arrangements that had been sent. Grayson slotted himself beside her.

“Are the blue ones different flowers though? Like what makes them purple?” Ethan asked.

“They’re all hydrangeas. I think it has something to do with the soil, that’s what makes them different colors.”

“Acid. The soil has to be acidic, Ma always adds stuff to get the blue ones at the house,” Grayson chimed in, subtly relieving Ethan of his duties. Indy relaxed when she felt him next to her.

“The blue ones are my favorite,” she hummed, rubbing a petal between her thumb and finger.

“Noted,” Grayson said. “Let’s get you some water, it’s almost 2.”

She didn’t protest, nerves buzzing with dread as she realized it was almost time for her to speak in front of so many people.

“You have my speech right?”

He patted his chest pocket where he’d tucked it that morning.

“You’ve got this. I’ll be right there the whole time, okay?”

She nodded, following him to the small kitchen to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

Time flew, and before she knew it everyone was seated in the parlor as quiet music played and the service began. There was a preacher who spoke, read some scripture. Indy could only hear her own heartbeat in her ears. Grayson’s hand anchored her, squeezing hers just barely. He traced over knuckles with his finger. B-R-E-A-T-H-E.

She tried, but her lungs felt tight when the preacher gave her the cue. She stood and smoothed out her dress, took the paper from Grayson. It quivered in the air as she carried it to the podium. There were too many eyes on her, too many red and bloodshot from tears already shed.

She looked at Grayson. He only nodded at her, a silent reassurance. She smoothed the paper out on the wood, inhaled through her nose, and spoke.

“Hi. For anyone who doesn’t know me, my name is Indiana Cross, and I was a friend of Bekah’s. I’ve never done one of these before, and to be completely honest with you, I’m not really sure how to do one of these. So, I thought about what Bekah would do when I asked her a question - she’d tell me we were living in the 21st century, and that I should ‘just google it’. So that’s what I did. But it wasn’t helpful, because eulogies aren’t designed to be told about 15 year olds. Because 15 year olds are supposed to turn 16, and get their driver’s license and go to prom and grow up to be 17, and so on. So, I don’t think any of us know how to do this -” she waved around the room with a broken exhale - “but that’s okay.”

“I’m the type of person who believes that there are reasons for a lot of things in life, but I’m struggling, like I’m sure many of you are today, to understand what the reason for Bekah being taken from us so soon is. Maybe it’s beyond our understanding. Maybe it’s the cruelty of the universe. All I know is, it isn’t fair, and it isn’t going to make sense to me for a very long time. But all we can do is work to remember Bekah for the light that she was, and will continue to be. So, I’m going to share a few stories about Bekah, and the people that loved her.

She could hear the sniffles, both her own amplified in the mic, and those from the crowd. She locked eyes with Grayson, who was sitting in the third row. He only nodded his head, willing all of his strength up to her somehow.

“I first met Bekah in a place where you generally don’t want to meet someone. The hospital. But, as anyone could guess, Bekah made a hospital seem like the best place to be simply by being there herself. We played pranks on the nurses, and then got said nurses in on our team and ganged up on the other ones. We ran the halls on good days, we cuddled up and watched movies on bad days. We snuck extra pudding and ice cream from the kitchen once when she was thirteen and got caught, and let me just say, I think that girl could have talked her way out of any trouble she ever got herself in. But the most important thing about that first hospital stay with Bekah was what she told me when I met her. She looked me right in the eyes and she said ‘don’t treat me like I’m sick and I won’t act like it’. I had never met a kid with so much strength and bravery in my life. But that’s what we did, and by god did she keep that energy until the very end.

“Bekah went into remission 3 times. And when I found out she was back for this next time, I figured it would be just like her past rounds. She would beat it, because she’s Bekah, and she always beats it. I don’t know where her strength comes from, but I know some of it is from her parents. But in all honesty, I think she was just a special person with something special in her. She was kind, and loving and strong and hilarious and witty and smart and beautiful and special. I would give up just about anything to get to see her grow up, to see the woman she would have become if - if she’d been given just a little bit more t-time.”

Indy’s voice began to falter, her breath hitching in her throat on the way out. She grabbed onto the podium, her notes blurry with tears. Grayson twitched in his pew, moving to stand up, to go to her. She saw him and moved her hand to the top of the wood, tapping her fingers subtly. Somehow, he knew what she meant. Wait.

“But I can find some peace in knowing how Bekah’s last days went, and I hope I can share some of that with you. She wasn’t scared to die. She went peacefully, and I don’t have a single doubt that she’s up in heaven watching us right now, probably making fun of me and also thanking me for not telling you all some of the stories of things we got up to. So to end it, I’ll quote a lyric from one of her favorite people, who she claimed would ‘totally be her boyfriend if he knew she had cancer’, Harry Styles. He says “remember everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here.” For now, Bekah is far away. And that’s a hard reality, for all of us, because she deserved more time here. But I know we’ll see her again someday, and I’m going to hold onto that until this starts to make a bit more sense, if it ever does. So, I love you Beks. Always have, always will. And I’ll see you again someday. Promise.”

Her voice cracked at the end as she stepped back from the microphone, fingers numb and cheeks hot and stiff from the salt of her tears. Grayson stood as she walked back down the center aisle to him, reached out to take her hand and help her to her seat. With the pressure gone and everyone’s eyes elsewhere, she crumpled into his chest, grabbing onto the lapel of his suit jacket as the sobs began to break free.

“Shhh, you’re okay. You did so good,” he whispered just for her, his own tears disappearing into her hair. Charlie ran a hand along her back to soothe her as the preacher returned to the podium to speak again. She didn’t hear much of what he said. Everyone cried as the service moved on, sounds of rustled tissue boxes and quiet sobs behind fists made the soundtrack to the show no one wanted to see.

Everything moved too quickly, and suddenly everyone was lining up to pass by and give their final goodbyes. Indy clung to Grayson’s hand as Ethan and Charlie excused themselves out of respect.

Indy blinked away her tears to get one more look at Bekah when it was her turn. Grayson reached to adjust her head scarf, and Indy rubbed her hand, willing herself to pretend it was warm.

Grayson was a pallbearer, eyes red and puffy as he carried her much too light casket to the back of the hearse. It gave Indy comfort, knowing she was safe with him.

She held it together on the walk to the car, head held high the way Bekah would want it to be, and she noticed Charlie scurry to take the front seat, forcing Grayson into the back with her. She was grateful for it, especially when she slid into the middle seat so she could sit next to him as they joined the procession.

Indy watched the trees, and Grayson watched her.

The cemetery was beautiful as they drove through it. Plenty of trees that Indy knew would be beautiful in the warmer months. It gave her some peace to know that she would rest in such a lovely place, even though she knew she wasn’t really there. She hoped it would give people a place to remember her fondly, to talk to her. She herself had never really cared for cemeteries, but she stood tall anyways and went through the motions. She watched Grayson carry the casket to the pedestal, took the rose that they gave her off of the casket spray and said her goodbyes quietly.

The sun shone brightly above them, but it began to drizzle right as she was about to climb into the car. A sun shower, she supposed.

Her tears mixed with the droplets that fell.

“Hey Beks,” she smiled, an odd sense of peace flowing over her as she stood there for a moment to soak it in before she climbed into the car.

Ethan drove them back to Jersey, and Indy laid her head on Grayson’s shoulder the whole two hours it took to get there.

When they got back, it was obvious what Lisa had been doing to keep herself busy. There was a casserole in the oven, both a vegan and non-vegan option, with fresh salad and bread she’d baked herself.

“I know it’s not really dinner time yet, I just figured you guys might be hungry when you got back, and I didn’t have much else to do,” Lisa explained with a sheepish smile. Grayson just smiled at her and kissed her temple.

“Thanks Ma. You’re the best. Dee, you want something to change into?”

“Sure. My stuff is out at the house though,” she reminded him.

“I’ll find you something,” he said before he disappeared upstairs.

“The house? You all stayed out at the tiny homes last night?” Charlie asked quietly. Indy bristled, ready to defend herself.

“I needed to write the eulogy, I needed somewhere quiet, and it’s nice out there. I just needed somewhere nice for the night, not my place.”

Charlie was smiling.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,” she said. Indy balked, unsure that she’d heard her sister correctly. She resisted the urge to quote some of the explitivies Charlie had called Grayson when she first found out he’d left for LA during their phone call.

“You’re not saying it’s a bad thing…” Indy confirmed, waiting.

“All I’m saying is… maybe I was wrong. He’s a good guy. Just be careful, okay? Can’t see you like that again, especially with all this going on too.”

Indy was blushing, but she nodded.

“Here, try these. Might fit if you roll them and tie em’ real tight.” Gray came down the stairs with a pair of black sweatpants and an old wrestling sweatshirt. She took them gratefully, moving into the bathroom to change. She felt free once her dress was gone, like she’d pulled some of the weight of the day off with the fabric. The sweats were still too big, but she didn’t mind.

Outside the door and down the hallway, Ethan had pulled his brother aside.

“You need to be here.”

Grayson waited for him to continue.

“I was fucking wrong. I got my priorities fucked, and I put that on you, and I’m sorry. I know the businesses are out in LA, and I don’t think we can really change that right now, but we’ll figure it out. I can fly out here when we need to, and you can come out when you have to.”

Indy heard voices down the hall.

“Flights are cheaper on Thursdays usually, we could always plan for that.”

It hurt worse somehow, for it to be in Grayson’s voice.

It was Tuesday.

She disappeared quietly down the hall in the other direction, her stomach turning.

It was what she knew would happen. It was the pain she’d told herself would be worth letting herself be with him, just for a few more days.

The pain in her gut had other ideas. The smell of the food from the kitchen made her nauseous when she reentered, and she gave Lisa a sympathetic smile. The angel in the whole ordeal, the last thing she wanted was to hurt her.

“Hey Li, I’m not feeling too good. I think I’m gonna lay down upstairs for a bit if that’s okay.”

“Of course, of course it’s okay. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you, and thank you for cooking. You guys go ahead and eat if you get hungry, I’m probably good for tonight.”

“Okay sweetie, get some rest.”

Indy managed to get upstairs undetected, and she found herself in Grayson’s room out of habit. She didn’t know what else to do, so she climbed under the covers and let her tears fall. She felt stupid, and unwanted, and sad. She’d let her heart get trampled again, all for a few days of comfort.

She felt pathetic.

Grayson’s feet thudded up the stairs only a few minutes later. She buried her face in the covers like a child, made her breathing even and slow.

He creaked the door open quietly, feet pausing before he came over to her.

She felt his hand on her hair, smoothing it back, and then his lips on her temple.

“I love you,” he whispered, and then he was gone.

Indy’s heart jumped to her throat, and her eyes shot open when she heard the door latch.

Her mind ran circles around itself as she laid there, staring at the ceiling wrapped in the blankets that smelled like him.

Did he love her? And if he did, did it matter?

It was times like that she wished more than anything that her mom was there. The closest thing she had was Charlie, who she suddenly felt guilty for leaving downstairs. But at the same time, she knew she couldn’t reappear so soon. So she sat, and she spiraled and rationalized and tried to make sense of her world that had fallen apart around her so quickly.

Downstairs, Grayson’s mind was wandering. His stomach led him, as it often did, but the greater part of him wanted to be upstairs in bed instead of at the kitchen table. But he couldn’t deny his mom’s cooking, especially after a hard day. So he sat at the table, glad that Charlie was no longer staring daggers into him from across the table. He gave Indy an hour or so to sleep before he went to check on her again, surprised to see her awake, perched on the edge of the bed.

“Hey you,” he smiled. “You ready to go?”

She looked up quickly. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought she looked nervous.

“Go?”

“To the house. All our stuff is out there, and I figured Charlie could stay in here tonight.”

“Yeah. Yeah, the house would be good.”

He held his hand out for her and she took it, let him lead her out to the truck, down the roads to the houses.

“You still tired?” Grayson asked once he’d kicked his boots off.

She thought of laying with him and nodded, walking up to the loft so he would follow.

He laid down beside her, let her curl up to him like she always had. It was peaceful, with the quiet hum of the furnace and the woods outside. The sun had set on their drive, and the dim lights from the kitchen made everything a warm yellow.

Indy took a deep breath and moved her hand under Grayson’s hoodie to find his skin.

Y-O-U-C-A-N-G-O

Grayson was quiet for a moment.

“What?”

She traced it again, slower, but she didn’t get to finish. He sat up in the middle of it, turning to her with concern all over his face.

“You want me to go?”

She stared at the ceiling.

“Want isn’t really the right word. But you can go.”

His heartbeat picked up, and he moved into her eye line.

“What does that mean.”

“I really appreciate you being here. I do. But I’m gonna be okay. You don’t have to stay here just because I’m sad. You don’t have to stay for me.”

A punch to the gut would have hurt him less.

“Indy. Indy, look at me.”

She turned and found his eyes, and to her surprise, his were watery.

“You’re my only reason to stay. I want to stay.”

“Stop. Just stop, I heard you earlier, you don’t have to pretend like you want to be here.”

“What’re you talking about?”

Indy sat up on her elbows.

“Flights are cheap on Thursdays,” she said. Grayson’s heart dropped for a moment, and then the pieces came into place.

“Indy. Baby, that wasn’t what you think it was.”

“Then what was it Grayson, please enlighten me.”

Grayson took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“That was Ethan and I trying to figure out how I can stay here. How I can stay here with you. Because I want to be here. I want to be with you, I always have. Ever since I met you I knew I was meant to be wherever you are. I never should have left, it was the dumbest shit I ever did. And I didn’t want to bring all this up, because I know emotions are fucked right now, with Beks and everything. But I want to be here with you, or I want you with me, or I want whatever it takes for us to be okay and together. If that’s something you still want.”

Her head was spinning.

“You still want me?”

He nodded.

“Never stopped.”

Indy took in her first deep breath in days.

“Oh.”

They sat in silence for a while. Grayson opened and closed his mouth a few times, thinking better of his words before he spoke them.

“It’s okay if you don’t know tonight. There’s too much going on right now, I don’t expect you to know how you feel about it right now,” he finally said, voice too loud in his excitement and nerves.

“Yeah. I need time to… think.”

“Yeah! Yeah, no that’s good. I want you to take your time with it, of course. And I can give you as much space as you need, you know, like, um, I can go sleep on the couch. If you want.”

Despite everything, Indy laughed.

“You don’t even fit on the couch.”

“I could make it work,” he said sheepishly.

“You’re fine. Just go to sleep, and I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

There was an excitement in his voice that she hadn’t heard in a long time - it snuck through even as he tried to hide it.

“Okay. Sounds good. Well, uh… goodnight.”

“Goodnight Gray.”

They stared at each other for a minute, unsure of what to do with all the new emotions that had come to light.

“We should probably lay down, if we’re gonna sleep,” Indy said.

“Right, yeah. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” she said again, watching him awkwardly pull back the covers and climb in fully clothed. She wanted to laugh at how awkward it was, as if they hadn’t been in each other’s arms every night since he’d been back. He kept his back to her, and she knew with her mind buzzing she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

She pulled her laptop out of the bag by the bed, fired up her hotspot and started to scroll through her feeds, passing mindless time and keeping herself busy until Grayson began to snore, rolling to his stomach. It was a sweet sound, and she couldn’t help but to reach over and move his covers up, her fingers brushing over his arm.

He stirred under her touch, grunting a bit as he half woke up, sitting up just enough to pull the yellow hoodie over his head and toss it off the bed.

“Whatcha doing,” he mumbled, reaching a blind hand out until he found skin, fingers landing on her leg under the covers. Indy smiled and moved her hand away from her keyboard, scratched lightly up and down his back, over his tattoo as a thought crossed her mind.

“Just emails. Almost done.”

“You okay?” He asked, voice muffled by the pillow.

“I’m okay. Sleep.”

“M’kay.”

He was snoring again momentarily, and once she was sure he was out she claimed her hand back, clicking quietly until she got to what she was looking for.

Her email from UCLA.

She scrolled down to the bottom, looked at the two links she had stared at so many times since it had arrived in her inbox.

Accept. Decline.

She moved her mouse and clicked once, and then she closed her laptop, put it on the nightstand and cuddled under the covers. Grayson huffed at her movements, reaching for her in the dark. She let him pull her closer, relishing in the feeling of being with him for another night.

#mixtape #ONLY ONE MORE TRACK GUYS #WHAT #WHATTTTT #then the epilogue #grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfiction

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