#worthless.
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crying
#tryna tell myself ‘s all in mi head#but its not#reallie not#feel so awful i just want to#not be alive#feel so fuckin’ stupid n#embarrassed and#worthless.#not in a hot way at all#like i jus#ruin everything
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Being like that has been the only way I’ve been able to get anyone to stay in my life for any small amount of time though. Sure everyone leaves when they’re done using me, but if I didn’t let myself be useful they’d have left a lot sooner. If I don’t let people use me I’d have no one. So I don’t have much choice in the matter.
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like where did it come from i was literally doing a silly little art and craft
#dropout tv#game changer#sam reich#erika ishii#me mid-apple butter stirring: i am inherently worthless and also remember that embarrassing thing i said in ninth grade history class yikes
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my new thing whenever an embarrassing memory jumps up out of some backwater neuron to t-bone my present-day thought process is to declare a statute of limitations. like i can burn down an entire building in the state where i live and the law deems it both unfair and illegal to prosecute me after six years have passed, i think that thing i said in high school can be expunged from my record.
#ohhhhh so twelve years ago i was really rude to someone at the mall and now i'm worthless forever? let's see it hold up in court#containment breach
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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getting incredibly tired of westerners responding to firsthand accounts shared by palestinians in gaza with the reflexive demand to see a "source"
because by source, they always mean a western news report
never mind, of course, that international journalists are banned from entering gaza; the word of the western journalist, writing in passive voice about a genocide 6000 miles away, is still deemed more 'reliable' than the firsthand accounts shared by the victims living through that same genocide
a palestinian shares a video of an IOF solider brutalizing civilians in gaza? not good enough; they still need a ''source.'' the video in question was posted by a palestinian journalist? okay cool, but does someone have a more reliable source? can we get a word in from the esteemed fact-checkers over at the new york crimes, or the iraq-has-wmds-post? we just don't want to spread misinformation...
#palestine#israel#gaza#also any handwringing about the misinfo caused by tiktok or any other social media is totally worthless without considering#the consequences - and the body count - of the lies peddled by western media about all of our so-called 'enemy states'
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nobody talks about the fact that you can have all this crazy shit in your head, and want to open up and talk about your feelings but no matter what, you just can't make out the right words and properly put your thoughts and emotions into words
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the specific tragedy of marineford's events aside ace is just a wild character to watch. he's the coolest big brother on the seas. he's a fucking dork. he's hated himself his whole life. he goes around tits out all day every day. it's because he's tattooed his devotion to whitebeard on his back and wants everyone to see it. he can solo a buffalo with a metal pipe at age 10. he cannot shut up about luffy even when he's in jail waiting to die. he's narcoleptic. he's a serial dine-n-dasher. he's the patron saint of daddy issues. he learns manners specifically to thank shanks for saving luffy. he's kinda shit at them. he doesn't run from fights. he doesn't let himself run from fights. he doesn't think he CAN run from fights. he crashes a party on buggy's ship out of nowhere and steals the food. he infiltrates a marine base and doesn't even bother to hide the very recognizable tattoo on his arm. he steals THEIR food. he immediately blows his cover because he decks the shit out of someone for dissing his captainfather. he's still eating while he gives them the slip. he goes to kill kaido and bonds with his son instead. he knows how to make a kasa. he forgets he's fire and keeps accidentally burning them. the narrative doomed him and yet his love and the love for him refuses to die. the world loathes him on an existential level. he chooses to be kind to the people in it, even so.
#he smiles with such painfully sincere affection when he asks the straw hats to take care of luffy.#he begs garp to kill him because he can't stand to see the people he loves risk their lives for one as worthless as his.#he cries when garp tells him this won't stop anything. he cries because he's overwhelmed by how much the whitebeards care for him.#the wound that kills him goes through his back (his treasure) but it couldn't possibly be called a coward's wound.#'jojo are you okay-' NO. I AM NOT.#one piece#portgas d ace#fire fist ace#bizarre adventures
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I'm proud of you for making it this far.
#suicide#suicidal thoughts#suicidal ideation#mental health#mental illness#depression#bpd#anxiety#bipolar#alone#crying#isolated#sadness#sad#broken#worthless#hurt#upset#actuallytraumatized#actuallymentallyill#actuallybpd#white text on black background#black & white
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Challenge time!!
Every like-edging for 5 min
Every 10 likes-i send my nudes to a rando
Every comment-one day without cumming
Every reblog-i remind myself im a girl by playing with my cunt and tits
100 reblogs-i change my pronouns irl back to she/her
200 reblogs-i buy a girly outfit
250 reblogs-i let u guys boss me around no time or gender limit
300 reblogs-i post a vid of me rubbing against the toilet seat
100 likes-i send a pic of me fingering myself to EVERYONE who dms no matter what
200 likes-i edge to any type of porn or fantasy sent to me!!
300 likes-ill wear some form of makeup makeup and a thong under my clothes for a week
350 likes-ill take a nude every day
500 likes-ill tell my city to anyone who dms
600 likes-ill post my last name on here
400 reblogs-ill listen to dumbification subliminals and hypnosis files
450 reblogs-i wont touch my cunt at all for 2 months
This challenge will always be valid!!! Dont be scared to spam
#detrans kink#patriarchy kink#r4ape kink#r4p3 fantasy#r4p3 k!nk#r4p3 k1nk#r4p3b41t#r4p3play#r4p3toy#serve the patriarchy#detransition kink#detrans#misgenderingkink#misgender kink#misgender me#ftmtf#ftmtf breeding#ftmtf girl#ftmtf kink#breedingtoy#breeding k1nk#breeding toy#bbc breeding#submisive and breedable#bd/sm breeding#men are superior#women are cunts#women are stupid#women are worthless#goonette
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A fun way imo to develop characters is to look at them and ask, "what does this imply?" This unfortunately only works if you already have a character concept in mind, but it's always been useful for me when I need to create some interiority for a character who feels a little flat.
As previously stated, literally all you're doing is looking at a character and performing a rudimentary analysis of them based on what you've already developed. A good example of this is my character Mordred, who early on in his development was conceived of as a sickly looking teenager wearing a full suit and bowtie. This is because I thought there was a lot of potential in this image. "What kind of teenager goes to school everyday wearing a full suit and bowtie?" Probably a kid who takes himself very seriously and has some interest in looking "polished" -- perhaps he even views himself above his peers for how he dresses. And, how might this visual extend to other aspects of him? Is he always someone who goes against the grain? Does he actually have an interest in men's wear, or is this a symbolic image for how he stands against his peers? I bet he has strong opinions on society. Did he buy the suit himself, or did his mom buy it, because one or the other also implies some stuff about the nature of their relationship, if his mother is supportive of his oddness or not, etc. etc. etc. A lot of stuff that you can find out, just from looking at one small aspect of a character! The same kind of process can spiral from anything - a character's actions, a character's thoughts, their beliefs, a line they say, a face they make, a hobby they have... all can be a good starting point for developing them further and figuring out more about them.
In a similar vein, I know that people recommend filling out character charts and stuff, but usually I find it more useful to think of a character in terms of a "scenario" or a "description" than in terms of their traits. "This character is smart" vs. "This characters complains to the teacher when the test has a question that isn't in the book" ; "This person is stubborn" vs. "This is the kind of person who'd rather starve than order food if they said they weren't hungry." Figuring out a character through something like this gives me a specific image of how they might act in a story as opposed to more broadly-described traits. Being as I tend to think up characters with story ideas and scenarios, it's much more helpful for me! "Ah, but how do you do this, Gert?" Easy: you stare at a wall for multiple hours until you have a revelation about a character. This is surely what everyone is capable of [nodding sagely]
#wow im rereading this and this advice is really bad. anyway [posts]#i also generally think of characters in terms of their role in a story/develop them in conjunction with a plot#which makes like 90% of online character development advice worthless to me :(
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Dear diary...
The fact that I'm still "alive" in 2024 just feels like a huge mistake...
#dear diary#tw#personal#worthless#empty#tired#useless#i want to die#i hate myself#i'm sorry#pain#alone#anxiety#self harm#suicidal#sad#depression#heartbreak#hurt#hopeless#kill me#lost#lonely#broken#numb#not good enough#i shouldn't be here
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Post-trial drinks
#see how gay i can make them while being subtle#wright is a worthless piner#art#drawing#illustration#digital art#digitalillustration#digital drawing#ace attorney#narumitsu#wrightworth#edgeworth
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*makes a pointless throwaway post*
tumblr: 25k notes. this post will never die. 5 years from now you will still be cursing the fact that you made this post
*posts an objectively incredible masterwork, the fruit of weeks of labor*
tumblr: 3 likes, 1 pity reblog from your ride or die
#grace for ts#tumblr has the weirdest taste i swear#the mysteries of viralness can never be quantified#currently suffering from a truly worthless post i made years ago
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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i don't like the growing opinion that people are being 'too hard' on deku for his failing to save shigaraki.
i've seen quite a few people complaining that a lot of the bnha-critical crowd are being too mean to deku for getting tomura killed, arguing that it isn't really his fault, and that hes a 16 year old child soldier who's been failed by almost every adult in his life, why should we be putting all of this on his shoulders? hes just a kid after all?
and the truth is, they're right. deku IS a 16 year old boy whos had the fate of the world thrust on his shoulders. but the story itself just plainly refuses to acknowledge this.
the narrative doesn't acknowledge how fucked up having a school that trains literal children how to be combo cop-celebrities is. it only tentatively acknowledges the fact that a universe having combo cop-celebrities is fucked up, and even then the only people who ever point this out are antagonists, who are portrayed and treated in-universe as untrustworthy. the narrative doesn't care how fucked up dekus circumstances are. the narrative treats deku like hes a fucking messiah here to touch the hearts of the evil depressed villains with his magical empathetic heart of gold before they get blown up or just sent to fucking superhell for daring to challenge the status quote.
deku isn't a person. he's barely even a fucking character at this point. he's a plot device, and a mouth piece for the objectively shitty themes bnha is trying to spout. the themes that tell you that if you're mistreated by society and want to do something about it, you're a villain. that disrupting the status quote and refusing to repent to some random teenage boy spouting empty platitudes at you means you deserve to get sent to fucking superhell. the themes that portray people fighting for civil change as mass murdering supervillains. the themes that look the audience dead in the eye and can call deku the greatest hero to ever live.
deku, who barely spared a second thought to lady nagant telling him the truth about the hero commission. who spouts meaningless platitudes about heroism and morality at nagant, and aoyama, and toga and shigaraki, when even the thought that he should question the world around him comes up. who's constantly talked about as this truly kind, empathetic person, but hasn't spared an empathetic thought to literally anyone who is classified as a villain. who listened to every authority figure around him except the ones who asked him to question his worldview. who saw la bravas tears, shigarakis various breakdowns, himikos plead for understanding, chisakis catatonic state, lady nagants truth, and barley batted a fucking eye. deku, who killed tomura shigaraki.
people don't criticize deku for failing shigaraki because they just hate deku. people criticize deku because of what he represents. because hes a mouthpiece for the atrocious morals and themes of this ideologically rotten manga. because any character he had was chopped up to bits in favor of the incomplete husk we have now. people criticize deku because hes the main character of my hero academia. theres nothing more damning then that.
#my post#bnha#bnha critical#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#sorry if this sounds really angry. i mean i am very angry at bnha for being such a nothing burger of empty platitudes and wasted potential#but like. that was extremely predictable#bnha wanted to be more than it was willing to put effort into being and so now its just. worthless#so this is just kinda a vent on all my angry feelings abt dekus failure as a character and a protagonist#tomura shigaraki#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha critical#my hero acedamia critical#boku no hero acedamia critical#deku#bnha meta#i mean techinally#mha#mha meta#bnha manga spoilers#bnha manga#long post#well longish
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