#worst thing is not even my personal disgust with so many of the happenings mainly caused by my own emotional attachment to all things past

[thedevotionaltour]

had an insane moment tonight where i just got repeatedly shamed by friends multiple times within minutes but it's ok now bc i don't have to see these people until next semester :) the minute you repeatedly make me feel bad within a matter of minutes and after i realize every time i hang out with you i feel bad you get put into the realm of "our friendship has a timer" ^___^ no more of this lol

[isalabells]

first of all "DFB t h i n k s" is a ballsy statement and you know it. No thinking processes were identified in the making of any recent decisions Denken, das wär doch was für euch

Die eigentliche deutsche Hybris liegt darin, dass es oft nicht einmal Konsens ist, dass die Anderen auch gewinnen wollen, und man sich die eigene Niederlage nur als Großkrise oder gar Weltuntergang vorstellen mag bis kann.

They chose this and FRESH NEW START!! as their angle and are determined to ride it out until they completed the 2026 mission.

Also, the days of "Wir sind kein Teil einer Imagekampagne, wir sind so aus Überzeugung" are long gone. Be blessed you were there to witness them firsthand in the first place.

So you're telling me that after the disaster that was the last documentary (and that at least damaged one guy's reputation in this country and he's still busy carefully building it up again) the DFB really thinks it's necessary to release another one just to drive this whole "ohhhh, we we're robbed" and "fresh new start everything is so much better now" narrative even further?

And in the same week the so-called captain of the team has publicly stated that 2022, wasn't eveb that bad (it was organised very well1!1) and they should have behaved differently? After the months leading up to the tournament the public was meant to believe that human rights are really important to the players and it all came from them and that it wasn't just some marketing ploy?

Come on.

[slackerlifewhere]

In defense of Deruth

Fair warning, there will be some SPOILERS so if you haven't finished the first novel or you care about spoilers, I suggest you don't continue reading. Thanks!

I'm a reader of fanfics, manga, manhwa, manhua, and novels. I basically consume different stories whenever I'm bored (which I usually am).

But the things I've read most often involve parents, which I'm not really looking for but it's there so whatever.

I had to read stories with basically the same plot but different...ingredients but the thing I notice is that most stories involve abusive or neglectful parents. And it's weird to me. Like can't heroes or villains have good parents and they turn out the way they are because of other circumstances? Obviously, it's because authors want us to root for the character but for me, it's just lazy writing.

So imagine my annoyance when, after reading the first volume of TCF, I see several fics hating and trashing Deruth Henituse and saying he's the worst father in existence.

I get it. He's not the best father. His wife, who he loves very much, died and left him as a single father. He has responsibilities as a count and soon marries Violan who has Basen by then. They have another kid soon after, which is Lily. He seems to entrust the responsibilities of the heir to Basen after OG Cale's reputation took a nosedive. In a sense, he appears as if he doesn't care about OG Cale's feelings and reputation and looks like he's focusing on his other children.

BUT he's not the worst father either. Listen, you may hate him for whatever reason, whether you've consumed too many stories with bad parents or you see yourself in OG Cale, BUT he's an okay parent.

Let me list the top three fathers that are absolutely disgusting compared to him before I explain why I think he doesn't deserve all the hate he's getting:

1. Marquis Stan

We all know what happened to Taylor Stan and while we can blame it on Venion, it's also because of their father. Their father is basically an asshole who wants to see his children fight for the heir's position. And he doesn't care if they end up killing each other for it. It's basically like watching sports for him at this point. He's mainly the reason why Venion grew up into a twisted bastard. While yes, Venion is not innocent in any shape or form after what he did to his brother and Raon, it's obvious he became that way because of his father.

In fact, Taylor is also a victim of Marquis Stan's abhorrent parenting. He's not evil like his family but he learned to be independent and to fight back because he doesn't want to become like them. He died in the original story.

So yeah. Marquis Stan is absolutely disgusting and no one can change my mind that he's the worst existence among all the fathers in the story.

2. White Star

The only reason why he's not number 1 is because he's not a literal father but he does pose as one for DHB. If you know what he did to dragons, then I don't need to summarize it for you. For those who don't, you need to read the novel because it's going to be a long explanation. All I can say is that he's also the reason why DHB became so crazy. And honestly, I'm glad that even if Cale is very guarded at DHB, he still gave him the freedom to choose and repent later on.

3. Zed Crossman

He's the lesser evil of the two but he's kind of like Marquis Stan but tamer.

He basically has his three kids fight for the throne while ignoring or favoring one over the other. And he doesn't even try to hide that he doesn't care too much unless it involves his plans.

He basically wants to see who is more fit for the throne but he doesn't stop them from sabotaging one another.

Honestly, I put all the effort on Tasha and Obante's part that Alberu became a better person. Zed is completely useless.

---

So...is Deruth a bad father?

Before I answer that, here's the thing about OG Cale. He's a complex character who is grieving most of his life and wants to protect his siblings in his own twisted way. In order to do that, he needs to act like he's trash and push everyone away. But is that Deruth's fault? Eeeeh kinda but not really???

They both lack communication as father and son. In fact, the moment KRS, now Cale Henituse, was forcefully transmigrated into OG Cale's world, it's shown that Deruth is trying to communicate with his son.

The first few chapters show that he cares for his son in his own way when Cale sits down to join them in breakfast. He attempts to talk to Cale even though he was hesitant. He seems surprised but happy when Cale answered. Yeah, it's shitty that OG Cale's family and Ron didn't notice he got switched but in all honesty, it'll be hard for a normal person to come to the conclusion that a God was involved. If I were in their shoes, I would find it suspicious (probably thinking that something happened that changed that person's actions and personality) but I wouldn't think of transmigration or God of Death. Conspiracy theories aren't the first thing I'll think of. That's just dumb to use as an excuse for hating the Henituse family.

People, fans, want family drama but in all honesty, they're just ruining OG Cale's character in the way they do it. It's actually disrespectful to his sacrifice for his family. He made that deal with God of Death not only because he wants to see his mom but also because he wants his family to live after they all died in the war against the White Star. He lived through that war with him as the sole survivor of the whole family. That sucks. He could've stayed but he didn't want to and also because he already died in the future anyways. If he wants to help them as himself, I doubt he'll shut up about it to the God of Death, regardless if it's a literal god he's gonna argue with. Let me remind you that this guy is so stubborn, he made a trashy reputation to help his brother.

Instead of doing it himself, he chose to let KRS (who didn't know he's going to be involved in a war in another world btw) save his world and family in exchange for seeing his mother. He chose to leave not because of Deruth (not completely, at least) but because he simply wants to. And he's content with his decision, regardless of his regrets.

By the way, his mom, Jour, is also not pretty great if you think about her decision before she died (my unpopular opinion but whatever). I do think her final conversation with him and her following death traumatized him in a way that I can't help but feel angry for him. It's mainly the reason why he hates the Harris Village that Choi Han ended up in. It doesn't excuse his reaction to the village later on but it does explain why he hates the place, even if it's not their fault his mother died. So yeah, I don't like his mother (I'm not talking about her reincarnation btw. She's a kid). That's not the way to care for your son, ma'am.

Deruth is obviously trying but a relationship needs to work between two people and not just one. That's what you call a one-sided relationship, guys. It's why OG Cale and Violan are not close. Both of these characters don't try to be close, maybe not because they dislike each other but maybe because of a misunderstanding or whatever (who knows).

Cale only got close to her because he actually treats her with respect (also because...you know...he's an orphan and was abused as a kid so deep inside, he thinks Deruth and Violan are good but not the best parents). And whenever Cale gets hurt or is in a bad situation, we sometimes get their reaction. They're worried and angry for him. They want him to stay away from danger. In fact, the last few chapters are basically Deruth getting angry at Cale for endangering himself (completely understandable).

You can also argue that Deruth didn't try hard enough. Well, let me just tell you as someone who's been depressed since I was a kid that whenever my parents try to ask me what's wrong, I usually reply with "nothing" or "I'm fine." So for parents to try harder doesn't usually end up with a heart-to-heart talk unless the other wants to talk.

So yeah, I think KR novels and manhwa are basically the reason why some readers immediately jump in defense for the character they like because of possible abuse and neglect from parents. Without thinking about it properly. Like please, if you hate a character, at least try to understand them first and list down the other worst characters before you actually say that they're the worst.

Side note: The worst thing that I also notice is fans also target Basen and Lily. They include the whole Henituse family and write a fanfic about how abusive or neglectful all of them are. BASEN AND LILY ARE LITERAL KIDS. WTF ARE YOU GUYS THINKING. They didn't do anything to OG Cale??? They're just there?

Did I just create an account to rant about how stupid some fans are? Yeah, pretty much. You can hate on Deruth but don't include the kids. They're kids??? Without any involvement with OG Cale and Deruth's drama?

Reminder: I haven't read the second volume because I'm planning to read it when it's completely translated. That way, I won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.

[gryficowa]

The biggest disadvantage of boycotting? Well… Limited options (Especially if you are not American but someone from Europe)

Every now and then I get angry with myself when I don't manage to boycott 100%, I struggle hard when listening to music and watching fan animations (Mainly from GF…), because many of the songs in the background of fan animations are from the creators of the boycott. (Like Tally Hall, but also others…)

Seriously, I love watching fan animations, but many of them have works by creators that I boycott (And it doesn't help that even if the creators are clean, the corporation that publishes their works is no longer, so additional restrictions…) and sometimes it happens frustrating… I'm fighting with myself not to turn on a fan animation (And to avoid a song stuck in my head after that… I don't recommend it…)

Because as I mentioned, music is my charger and my energy runs out slower when I listen to it, but this frustrating feature (You know, the music bug) can be irritating in this case, seriously, sometimes my niece is watching something and suddenly a song from the creator comes on, which I boycott and then I have to fight this worm in my head that doesn't want to stop playing this song…

It's even worse with products, because it's not America, where stores are full of products, many things come from Nestle… The worst thing is that Nestle often knows how to hide its logo or not add it to its product and a guaranteed disaster, because you buy something from Nestle, even if you don't want to…

The easiest thing is to boycott film and animation corporations… Mainly because it's easier to get around it compared to what I mentioned earlier… Do you want to watch it? Open a pirate website and watch it, the corporation doesn't get any money and you are not to blame for supporting a pro-genocidal corporation… It's a pity the rest isn't that easy…

Seriously, even with games it's the same as with movies and animations (But you have to know that you're not downloading some fucking virus…), it's fucked up that listening to music that lasts a few minutes is much more difficult than watching movies and animations or downloading games, which are usually longer… Damn copyrights and music corporations

Copyright has spoiled the enjoyment of art and made it impossible for people who want to separate the work from the disgusting creator, because this disgusting creator benefits from the fact that you listen to his music (And unfortunately, he is quite young, so there is a chance that he will die and you will have pure morality to return to his work is quite small… Unfortunately…)

Yes, copyright has its advantages, but it must be admitted that this feature of copyright is the worst, because you cannot separate the creator from his work, because even if you try, he still benefits (Fuck Rowling)

I know it's trivial what I feel, but it's seriously frustrating that you can't even watch a fan animation for a production you like because you know that the background song is from pro-genocides and even if you ignore it to watch a fan animation, it is the creator you are boycotting that will gain (Not the creator of fan animation…)

The truth is that copyrights should disappear if the creator turns out to be a disgusting person (Being queerphobic, racist, xenophobic, pro-genocide and the like, of course, in extremes, e.g. Giving money to companies and organizations that want to get rid of various groups, because it would be awkward to take away a kid's copyright for that he was a victim of bigoted propaganda…)

But unfortunately, it would be too good to happen, so you can't separate the creator and enjoy the work… Because this disgusting man only profits, and you help in this…

This is the darkest part of boycotting, just knowing… Just knowing that by breaking the boycott, you are supporting a disgusting person and doing so in the name of your inner selfishness…

It's frustrating that capitalism rewards the worst people…

[ankhisms]

rambling about stuff

i felt such a deep shame for having to drop out the first time i tried to go to college for many reasons, mainly the fact that i had been harrassed by my professors to the point of almost killing myself and feeling ashamed of not being strong enough to just suck it up and allow them to harrass and torment me, along with at the time thinking that would be my only chance at college because of having gotten a scholarship which was the only reason i was able to afford to go and feeling like i had wasted that money. i still often feel a bit of shame for dropping out but more recently ive heard more people within local theater circles talk about just how awful the teachers and the campus and overall environment at the college i tried to go to were and still are and its both validating and also frustrating. like i only just am recently finding out that im not the only theater student or ex theater student who has been harrassed and literally no exaggeration gaslit and publicly humiliated by this university theater department?? theres been more cases of this?? this has been going on for years and no one in any position of power has done anything about it even though its apparently known about, and all the students or ex students like me who were victims of this arent able to sue or get any kind of legal action because its our word against theirs and the nature of it all was that it was all in person and theres no paper trail to prove what happen, along with none of us having the money for legal action, and although in my case it did feel a little bit like sexual harrassment where i was told that i was so ugly and disgusting that i would never be cast in any roles for most of the other students/ex students it wasnt sexual harrassment it was just fucking verbal tormenting and humiliating but the university wouldnt do anything about it because it wasnt sexual assault/harrassment and because the teachers were tenured and had been there for years. its apparently just the whole culture of the place which makes me so mad. and of course i dont think the university would take it seriously if it WAS sexual assault/harrassment because its obvious they dont actually give a shit. anyway im not about to pursue legal action but i just am always so. man that was just another hugely traumatizing thing right after i had finished the worst most traumatizing time of my life (highschool) and i was so ashamed of the fact that i was traumatized from it. they had no right to do that to me or to anyone else but they got away with it and the ones that are still there will continue to get away with it. one thing i overheard was one of the teachers who specifically did a lot of the harrassment apparently "realized hes neurodivergent and that his evangelical upbrining wasnt good" like okay well im fucking neurodivergent and autistic and he traumatized me and made an 18 year old person feel so alone and isolated and like a failure that i tried to kill myself. but oh hes neurodivergent and was raised in a crazy christian environment so lets give him a pass on how he abused his power and harrassed and tormented his students! the man is in his fucking 50s hes not a child he should fucking know better. ok im fine its fine

[ccaptain]

gaze narrows, frown deepening as fingers tap impatiently against his side. eye twitches, frustration on full display. yet, he still manages a scoff, lip curling into a nasty smile if only for a moments glance, before a hand slams on the table, and suddenly, he’s leaning across the gap, hovering over the man who dares to try and mess with him. his words are unamusing. “you talk too much.” to dare look down on him, with winsome words and a knowing smirk, as if he could ever know what he was up against. “that arrogance will be your undoing. I suggest you shut that pretty mouth of your, before I make you.” his tone is deep, graveled as to keep onlookers inattentive  (as if slamming the table hadn’t already alerted such attention). “you’re out of your league.”   complex complex complex 

(anything small happens- him; rage. seething. fury IM SORRY HE’S THIS WAY)

pale diamond has been trained to perceive the smallest changed in someone's behavior since tender age, as an observant mind can be sharper than a well kept blade. kaeya has soon discovered that this fellow is rather anger prone. attentive eye spied many things that seemed to set the fatuus off... and, mainly, kaeya speculated, the sound of his own, silky voice seemed to grate the worst on the other's nerves.

in face of such display of physical animosity, the eye widens with flair and blinks- once, twice, lips opening in a small o of mock surprise. the scathing threat would scare a normal person, cut sharp and deep, supposedly make the receiver tremble in fear of being seized by the throat by the same hand that abused the wooden surface with such cruelty; the fatui are not to be messed with, and that much is known.

however, the captain doubts that a few pacifying words would actually do the job: not at this point, not with so much anger. it's better to stay calm, perhaps, and handle the situation accordingly. ... or so, a normal person would think.

unfortunate.

( so much anger! yet, he's trying hard to keep his voice down. you don't wish attention on yourself, perhaps? interesting... )

' my, such venom for some simple conversation. ' he comments almost idly, glass full of dark liquid swirling between slender finger. his head cocks to the side, questioning, curious. kaeya seems to be completely at ease, despite the anger wafting off his strange companion for the evening. ' would you have preferred we sat in complete silence, with an awkward atmosphere between us? '

he questions, but he doesn't expect a clear answer, or any at all. arms widen in an almost helpless gesture, the man being the face of innocency.

' if i offended you, i'd be happy to apologize. you're an interesting person, ' he states, lashes batting once. ' i'm sure that you'd pardon my curiosity, if i buy you another drink? ' an almost gentle proposal; now he has to diffuse a bit, does he? he can't have an aggressive fatuus scaring the patron off- no, rather, he can't have the redhead behind the counter bear an hole to the back of his partner's head.

' i'll have to admit, ' an hand splays over open-chested shirt, ' you sure have an hurtful way with words. i'm out of my league... what could you possibly mean? '

( he'll make me shut up, hm? i wonder if this will turn into a brawl, by the end of the night. it'd end badly for him either way. )

well, he could squeeze the pimple until the entire, disgusting content was all out- or, he could diffuse and spend a boring late afternoon back to his office.

and they both knew which one kaeya would pick.

[spawnofthedivine]

ahh hollow being close to front and influencing my (spyte) own emotions towards things is certainly,, Something. its not like its out of the ordinary for us to bleed over neutral or positive opinions + emotions + etc. but like.. this is more negative stuff (which is a little more uncommon, but not rare). its mainly bcuz they dont like any ship content between them and their sourcemates. this is not good bcuz a good 50% of the fan content we see is ships w either quirrel or grimm (and another 50% of those ships arent fucking tagged w the ship names so theyre almost unavoidable). they Do Not like either of them for almost the same reason. theyre repulsed by most people (irl + in source) and they esp dont like romance. quirrel is okay as a person (boring + annoying but not the worst to sit in silence around), and they just dont feel anything towards him and they feel disgusted when they see the fan content. feelings r the same w grimm, they dont like him (boring + annoying again !!! how wonderful) and think hes off putting in the worst way possible.

anyways im neutral towards the ships on a day theyre not bleeding over to me but the days they are,,, wow. okay. hatred and disgust vibes x500

(this is not to say the ships themselves r gross, its perfectly fine to ship them lol. these r just our hollows feelings abt it)

below the read more is in depth stuff abt their dislike of a lot of people cuz they want to talk abt it but its gnna make the post too long lol. also ⚠️ cw for calling people/relationships unreal in a serious way? idk what to call that so its not tagged but heres the warning ⚠️

our mom is okay in their opinion, shes interesting to them and likes us and doesnt get mad at us that often and almost never argues w us. our father though.. he argues with them all the time. anytime he speaks theres always a problem and hollow does Not have a filter so they end up getting pissed and arguing and then its a whole Thing for a few hours and our dad just starts screaming at a point etc. etc. they also generally dont think hes interesting and theres nothing to benefit from interaction w him. sooo 0/10 for dad, 7.5/10 for mom bcuz she does get after us for our arfid and thats beyond annoying.

also, our friends piss them off regularly. they often feel like snapping at them and getting mad but hold back most of the time cuz they know i would cry my eyes out if we even had a minor disagreement. the only times they dont stay quiet abt it is when i agree w them (typically out of confusion on my part).

they also seem to b the main source of our whole "we are the only real people. everyone else doesnt actually exist. no one has real emotions or lives, we're the only ones who actually exist." thing. so thats a bit telling of one reason why they dont like many people. this happens especially with our brother and most people we see once and never again. they also feel this when they see others in sexual, romantic/romance adjacent, or generally affectionate (?) relationships.

its.. very strange to see others be in love and then only have the thoughts and vibes of "thats not right! why are they doing that? thats disgusting, i cant believe thats something they would do in front of us! what the fuck! that looks/is so unnatural!" etc. etc. its like.. x20 strength when we witness someone we're close to doing it. we've been in relationships before, and the feeling only gets worse as time goes on while we were in the relationship.

it also happens to ANY physical touch. handshakes, fist bumps, hugs, kisses (platonic or not), hair touching, cuddling etc. is all disgusting to them (and whoever is close enough to feel it too)

its. also very difficult to get their approval. i think i understand what "they dont like many people, so dont be surprised if they dont like you" means now. they even have neutral feelings towards the other members of the system, and they only like me moderately enough to talk to me.

so uh. i think its safe to say hollow is our main holder/source of repulsion towards people and any sort of relationships. i was wondering where the feelings would come from because they seemed to come and go at random, but i think i got it now :P

[avatar-of-procrastination]

NOT FAST ENOUGH

Summary : What if Marc wasnt sent on a mission to kill the archeologists in Cairo? What if there was another reason he became the MoonKnight?

A.N : yeah so idk where this came from. I was writing a perfectly fluffy dune fic when this idea popped into my head. Please read the warnings before heading on. English is not my first language. Please pardon any mistakes.

Pairings : Marc Spector x reader (mainly) ; Steven Grant x reader (slight, not much)

Warnings: spoilers for ep5 of moonknight below the cut. Mentions of death, violence, kidnapping, shooting.

Steven felt uneasy, standing amidst the lifeless bodies Marc had killed. He shuddered, unable to comprehend how someone could be capable of such a cruel thing as taking someone's life. He was absolutely disgusted by Marc and couldnt look at him without feeling like punching him.

Marc on the otherhand, was completely silent, his hands trembling uncontrollably. Marc had begged Steven to not go into the room. He would do anything but relive the memories of the day he lost everthing. The day he lost you.

Marc remembered the day vividly.

He was on a clean-up mission in Dubai, where he was asked to take out a group of drug smugglers. The job would've been quick and effortless if not for a small child. Even though he was a mercenary, he would never have the heart to mercilessly execute an innocent child. That, however, would turn out to be the most fatal mistake of his entire life. Marc left Dubai, unaware of the fact that the child, the heir of the underground mafia, informed his parents of the drug bust Marc caused.

By the time Marc landed in Cairo, his phone was filled with messages and missed calls. From you. He immediately pressed redial in a frantic worry, imagining that the worst had happened.

One ring, two rings, and someone picked up the call. He felt a momentary relief when he heard your voice but that quickly turned into panic when he heard you scream. His blood boiled at the thought of you getting hurt and rushed to the coordinates of the place he traced the call to.

Marc reached the co-ordinates and found himself in the windy desert with many tents lined up. He ran towards the secluded part of the camp, careful to not be noticed and overheard two guards talking about a beautiful person bound in one of the tents.

"Maybe we can have some fun before they kill them." One of them suggested.

Filled with rage, he quickly took down both of them, feeling no remorse for taking their lives. He stealthily searched every posible tent for you, his heartbeat increasing with every passing moment.

He burst into the last tent and found you bound and gagged to a post. Your head was bloody and you had quite a few bruises on your face and stomach. You weakly picked up your head when he called out your name and met his eyes in fear. With the remaining energy you had, you franctically motioned to him to stay away from you. You violently shook your head but Marc ignored everything and ran towards you. He started untying your hands and apologizing profusely. He almost untied you when something hit him from behind. You screamed, the sound muffled by the cloth in your mouth. You tried to free yourself, but your already weak body could do nothing to the tightly bound ropes.

Groaning in pain, he fell to the ground. After a few minutes, he regained his senses and stood up shakily, seeing the large amount of people gathering in the tent, with guns and knives. Marc knew he couldnt take them all out without getting you hurt. One of the men came close to you, still bound to the pole, and placed a knife to your neck. Marc immediatly flung towards you but the other men pulled him back holding him down firmly, while the man next to you chuckled darkly.

"Oh how nice is this! Do you know who i am?" He questioned Marc.

He simply stared coldly at him. If looks could kill, he'd been dead long ago.

"Ofcourse you don't. Let me remind you. Earlier today you blatantly killed my men. For what? Meeting the needs of my customers? Following my command?"

"They were drug dealers. Your men were supplying drugs far worse than the cocaine shit."

"You know, out of the people you so mercilessly killed, one of them was my fiancé. I was supposed to marry her later this week. I was surprised when my nephew called me. Do you know how much it hurts to hear that your love is dead? That an American man had put a bullet through my beautiful angel's head. Huh. Now what kind of gentleman would i be if I didnt return the favour?"

"NO. Don't you dare lay a finger on her. We can work something out here. Please. PLEASE. Just Dont hurt her."

"Oh dont worry." He laughed darkly, " I'll make sure it doesnt hurt."

The guy pulled out a gun and shot the bullet right throught your head.

Marc had never seen rage like that before. All he saw was the limp body of his lover fall down as he screamed for her.

It was like a switch went off in him as he shot down every last person in the room with him. The leader of the group managed to escape into the cave outside. Marc followed him outside and limped into the cave. The man fell down as he crawled behind, trying to escape the blood thirsty mercenary.

Marc didnt hesitate to pull the trigger and didnt even wince when the blood sprayed all over him.

Once he killed the scumbag, his hand dropped the gun, heartbroken and hollow. He lost you like he lost his brother. You, the only source of happiness in his life were now gone because he couldn't save you. Marc screamed into the night, tears streaming down his face because he was once again alone in the world. You were dead and it was his fault .

It was then that he heard a heavenly voice talk to him and ask him if he wanted to be the face of vengence. The thought of your smile was enough for him to agree to be the Egyptian God's Avatar. For him, it was a means of penance, a way to save innocent lives like yours. He thought that with the power of Khonshu, he would be able to prevent anymore people dying because of him.

Steven saw the entire scene unfold in front of him and felt himself tear up. Marc was sitting next to your body, staring into nothingness with tears in his eyes. Steven walked to Marc and hugged him tightly and Marc leant into his embrace, letting all the tears and pent up frustration out.

"If i would've been faster, she woyld've been here. Now she's not. And it's all my fault."

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Baji Being A Menace To Society (And Your Relationship) 2.0

Sequel to: Baji A.K.A. The Worst (Best) Matchmaker

Summary: Baji’s at it again, acting out-of-pocket and creating chaos for absolutely no reason, other than to see you suffer. In his own Baji-esque way, of course.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Warning(s): Boku no Pico is mentioned, but there is absolutely nothing graphic; mentions of masturbation

Note(s): I am so sorry if it isn’t funny. Sadly, I am but an amateur writer, not a comedian. Still, I hope you all enjoy! ^^

"(Y/n), want some ice cream? My treat."

Usually, you'd be the first to jump at an offer for a sweet treat, especially when you don't have to pay. However, as of now, the word 'ice cream,' when said by Baji, instantly triggers your fight-or flight-response. Paired with the fact that he’s broke as hell, your suspicions only increase for the sudden indulgence.

Since you know you're no match for the long-haired menace, your body automatically prepares to flee, legs twitching to lurch into a sprint. Unfortunately for you, just before you can get the fuck out of there, your hand is being grabbed by Mikey, who leisurely begins to tug you along to claim your dessert.

“You like ice cream, right?” he turns to ask, eyes unbelievably soft when looking at you.

And because you’re weak for him, all you can do is nod stiffly, trading in your sanity for the pleased grin that spreads across his face, his confident strides thereafter likely a result of him successfully remembering another miscellaneous fact about you, as has been the case since you officially started dating him. From the most trivial of things, like which brand of pens and pencils you prefer, to the slightly more important stuff, like ice cream being one of your favorite desserts; he’s made the effort of remembering them all.

He really doesn’t need to do any of that, ‘cause you’ll love him either way, but the conscious decision to do so is what makes you love him even more.

Zoning back into reality, you shake your head to reorient yourself. It isn’t the time to be going over the reasons why you’re such a lovesick puppy.

No, there are other things to worry about, mainly Baji.

You squeeze Mikey’s hand as you’re led to the nearest ice cream parlor to try and calm yourself. It works for the most part, especially when you get a reassuring squeeze back.

‘Right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s going to be okay.’

After all, Baji wouldn’t do anything too drastic, right?

~~~

You were wrong. So, so wrong.

Despite nothing having transpired yet, every alarm in your head is going off, pounding at the door of reason to get you to wake up and realize that it’s Baji you’re talking about, the same person that sets cars on fire when hungry and punches the first unfortunate soul he passes by on the street when sleepy.

You really should’ve listened to your survival instincts and ran. Alas, it’s much too late to escape, leaving you to wallow in your anxiety, while you wait for misfortune to strike.

And strike it does.

“Please, don’t sit next to me. You make me nauseous.”

“That’s cruel. I bought you ice cream, and you treat me like this?”

Yeah, he may have bought it, but you refuse to eat it because of how intensely Baji is staring at you. Fucking weirdo.

"Oh, do you want some of mine instead, (Y/n)?" Baji accentuates his question with a sensual lick to his ice cream from the edge of the cone to the finessed peak, making you extremely uncomfortable as he stares you down with the full motion.

As slowly as he licks his frozen treat do you slowly raise your middle finger, eliciting chuckles from the other occupants of the table.

You think you won that mini battle, though?

Ha! Nope.

Baji mirrors the vulgar action, not once breaking eye contact as he dips the tip of his finger directly into his ice cream, pulls it out, and proceeds to lick that, too.

Disgusted, you promptly avert your attention elsewhere, praying that Baji won’t continue being, well, himself.

Your prayers fall on deaf ears.

"It's cold!" As soon as the exclamation leaves your mouth, your blood runs glacial, knowing that you've unintentionally played into Baji's trap. The appearance of a sly, almost feral, smirk when you whip your head around to glare confirms what you already know.

The curtain has risen, and you’re standing center stage in a performance you can’t break free from.

"Aw, can't let it go to waste,” Baji continues, reaching over to scoop the ice cream you’re 100% certain he purposely spilled on the front of your shirt, with his fingers.

Then, to your horror and everyone else’s shock, he asks, without an ounce of virtue to his name, "Want me to lick it off with my mouth?"

Chifuyu is seated on the other side of the table, hiding his face in his hands. “Baji-san...”

"It'll stain if it dries like that." Dear God, how you wish to un-see Baji batting his eyelashes at you.

“I don’t care!” At this point, you’ve resorted to clumsily scooting your chair as far away from him as possible, which isn’t actually as far as you’d like considering your surroundings. Hell, so long as you put some distance between yourself and the crazy bastard that wants to see you suffer, you don’t mind having to force yourself halfway onto Mikey’s lap. (The firm hand that keeps you steady by the waist proves that your presence isn’t unwanted either.)

"Geez, (Y/n), you're such a scatterbrain."

Seeing Baji sell the line with a slow tugging of his hair behind the ear has you torn between laughing and dying a little more. Truthfully, his acting is frighteningly impressive, and you would’ve applauded his performance, if not for the fact that the role he’s playing still haunts your dreams.

By this time, most of who accompanied you to the ice cream parlor have figured out what kind of drugs Baji is on this time, which also means that those fuckers have seen, or are at least aware of, the cursed trilogy of questionable porn that’s being reenacted before their eyes, with you as an unwilling co-star. Those that are puzzled as to why people are shoving their fists in their mouths to refrain from laughing are obviously God’s favorites.

“The fuck is going on? I wanna laugh at Baji’s dumbassery, too.”

“Pah-chin... I think it’s best you don’t know.”

Interestingly enough, the one you’re most concerned about hasn’t said anything yet, splitting his attention between observing the scene unfolding and eating his portion of a deluxe sundae.

Then, out of nowhere-

“I understand.”

You and Baji freeze where you are, each of you grasping the other’s collar, you to shove him away, and him to draw you closer.

“(Y/n),” Mikey says, your name rolling silkily off his tongue in a tone much too fond for his next words, “if you like roleplay, just tell me.”

...

“Huh?”

“I’m fine with pissing, remember? So, roleplay shouldn’t be a problem.”

Heat rises to your face at an alarming pace, and it continues to climb as Mikey takes your free hand in his, which serves not to comfort but to unintentionally remind you of the humiliating experience from a few months back. And just when you convinced him that you didn’t want anything to do with getting freaky with the body’s excreta, too.

“You’ve got it wrong! I don’t- arfghfgh?!”

Your prayer to help cool down your flushed cheeks must have been heard, but you’re pretty damn sure you didn’t ask for Baji to shove his ice cream in your mouth!

“Oh, yeah. (Y/n)’s a fuckin’ geek when it comes to roleplay,” the unhinged bastard speaks in your stead, indifferent to the nails clawing at his hand clamped over your mouth. “You should try it with him. We were doing a scene from his favorite anime.”

Mikey tilts his head, interest positively piqued. “Which one is that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, leader?”

Mikey raises an eyebrow.

Baji opens his mouth.

You lunge.

It’s a series of events that happens in the blink of an eye and ends with loud crashing as you tackle Baji to the ground.

“Listen up, Baji Keisuke. We took an oath that day, and if you dare utter a word of what went down, I’ll consider that a breach of the code of secrecy and take you down, making sure you drown in a pit of your own shame and despair.”

Surprised to have been pinned down so quickly, it takes a while for Baji’s brain to catch up, but when it does, he’s frustratingly unfazed at the threat.

“Oho~ How scary. Too bad for you, I have no shame.”

“Not even if I tell Mama Baji where your porn stash is?”

That has the great Baji tensing up.

“You wouldn’t dare use an underhanded tactic like that.”

Your lips turn into a wicked grin. “Are you sure? I have as much dirt on you as you have on me, and like you, I won’t hesitate to use it to my advantage.”

If your grin is wicked, Baji’s is downright evil, showing off his sharp, gritted canines and all.

“You got balls, (Y/n),” he snarls, “but mine are bigger.”

The boy beneath you opens his mouth, and faster than you can stop him, he just...does it.

“(Y/n) (L/n) watched Boku no Pico and liked it!”

Silence.

Silence is all that’s heard for a good, long minute following the booming roar of the revelation.

You dare not look up to gauge everyone’s reactions, instead keeping your icy glare fixated on Baji, who looks smug as shit for having caused the glorious eruption of heat to spread like wildfire across your entire body, from the tips of your ears down to where your skin disappears under the collar of your jacket.

This...

This is war.

Taking in a deep breath, you answer his uncalled for declaration with your own thunderous shout of, “Baji watched Boku no Pico and jacked off to it! Twice!”

Baji laughs. “Oh, pray tell, saintly (Y/n), how many times did you jack off to it?”

“None of your fucking business, asshole.”

“Pretty fucking sure it is, since we were in the same room.”

Someone chokes, while you choke Baji.

“We. Swore. To. Secrecy. You. Asshole,” you practically growl, with each of your words accompanied by a ruthless back-and-forth shaking of the other boy’s person.

“Let up on the choking, dude. I’m not into that. You, however-”

Unable to take the ceaseless slander to your name anymore, you reel your fist back, but, upon seeing Baji’s cheek turned to you, jaw jutted out, as if inviting you to take your best shot, you hesitate. You know you wouldn’t be able to pack enough of a punch to actually leave an impact on him, which is terribly upsetting.

On the bright side, there’s still one tactic you can use that’ll be just as effective, a technique courtesy of your health teacher, who happily taught it to the class to use in case of an emergency.

Technically, it’s meant to be used to assess a person’s level of consciousness, but you suppose it can be used to get back at inconsiderate idiots, too.

“Ow! Ow! What the fuc-! Ow!”

You keep a straight face as you continue to rub your knuckles against his sternum, fully intent on delivering the worst possible pain to the current bane of your existence. It brings a sort of sadistic satisfaction to hear the ever prideful Baji’s screams of pain, and while it doesn’t completely undo the damage done, it does help soothe your wounded self-esteem.

“You want me stop? Beg for it.”

“Pissing, roleplay, choking, and begging? Goddam- OW!”

Your reign of terror comes to its untimely end when you’re lifted up into the air by the armpits, and through the haze of your power trip, you realize that Baji’s saving grace is Draken, who proceeds to carry you out of the parlor with ease.

“People are staring,” he coolly explains when you protest to having unfinished business.

Pouting, you cross your arms over your chest. “It’s his fault.”

Once outside, Draken doesn’t immediately put you back on your feet, until Mikey strolls out of the parlor. Only when the gang leader has his arms outstretched to you are you promptly deposited on the ground and taken into his embrace.

“Are you done letting off some steam?” is the first thing he asks you. Even though you can’t see his expression, the way he holds you and the way he cradles the back of your head, handling you with the utmost care, is indication enough that there will be no reprimand for, essentially, assaulting your division commander. (You would argue that it was an act of self defense against verbal harassment, but whatever.)

There’s just an overwhelming amount of love. So, so, so much love for each other.

“Yeah, I am,” you eventually answer, followed by a content sigh.

“Good.”

Naturally, that’s the perfect time for the tinkling of the bells above the parlor door to pilfer your attention. Baji’s appearance causes your face to morph into a scowl.

You cling tighter to Mikey, peeking over his shoulder to flip the ravenet off and mouth, ‘Go to Hell.’

As always, Baji answers your attempt to appear opposing with an obnoxious smirk.

‘See you there.’

~~~

“Boku no Pico, huh?”

“Draken, don’t laugh! Baji forced me to watch it!”

“All 3 episodes?”

“Twice.”

“...”

“...”

“Favorite scene...?”

“As if I’d have one.”

"Actually-"

“Ahh! Shut up! Why are you here, stupid Baji?! You live in the other direction!”

~~~

“Hey, (Y/n). Want to try doing the same thing with me?”

You look up, perplexed. Mikey literally just walked into the room, and that was the first thing he said to you.

“Do wha-?”

Your breath catches in your throat when you turn your head, only for you to come centimeters from bumping noses with him. And because he can, he lovingly knocks your foreheads together, too.

“It’s okay. I promise it’ll definitely be fun.”

You should feel ashamed for recognizing the same sequence of lines from Boku no Pico so quickly, though any coherent words are overtaken by an incomprehensible, high-pitched screech, a feat achieved solely by a teenage boy going through puberty.

A combination of shock and amusement crosses over Mikey’s features then. He’s never heard you make that sound before.

It’s cute. Strains the ears quite a bit, but cute.

While Draken lurks beside him, questioning Mikey’s standards of what constitutes as ‘cute,’ you’re sprinting across the room, red-faced, to Baji, who’s already grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Stop tainting my boyfriend, you piece of shit! Give him back his innocence!”

(Unbeknownst to you, whilst immersed in your fit of hysterics, your use of the word ‘boyfriend’ has a certain blond beaming.

“Did you hear that, Ken-chin? He called me his boyfriend.”

“Wow, congrats.”

Mikey either doesn’t give a shit or is simply too smitten to acknowledge Draken’s apathetic response.)

Baji blinks, unable to believe what you’re trying to insinuate. “Innocent? That little gremlin motherfucker?”

Both of you look in Mikey’s direction. When he sees you staring, he breaks out in a smile and throws a wave.

Your heart involuntarily skips a beat at the sight, and, okay, you’re convinced. Mikey deserves better than knowing of that cursed series’ existence.

Clearly, you’re down bad for Toman’s leader, and as such, Baji figures he can use that to quench his boredom for the day.

“Ooh, if only you knew what he gets off to.”

The tone in his voice instantly rouses suspicion. You narrow your eyes at him. “I don’t care what kind of porn he gets off to.”

“Porn? Nah, ya silly goose-”

“Don’t call me that.”

Baji ignores your comment as he moves to sling one arm around your shoulders, the other raising up to mimic an obscene tugging motion that no teenage boy is a stranger to.

“He jerks it to yo-”

BAM!

One second, Baji is lazily hanging off of your person, the next, he’s sprawled out on the floor, face down, and groaning in pain. You expect nothing less after witnessing him receive a rather impressive flying kick to the chest from Mikey.

Before you can assess the full damage, your view gets obscured by a pair of keys.

“Wanna take my bike out for a spin?”

Yes, you know Mikey is trying to divert your attention from whatever Baji was going to say, and, yes, you probably should check on the figure that has yet to get up.

But do you really care?

You take one glance at Baji’s concerningly unmoving body and quickly come to a conclusion.

You do not.

That being said, you quite literally drag Mikey and, by extension, Draken out of there, chanting an excited, “Let’s go!” on your way, abandoning Baji to wither on the ground.

Baji?

Baji feels betrayed.

~~~

"Chifuyu?”

“Hm?”

“Y’know, I was joking.” Baji flips onto his back with a grunt. “Man, who knew Mikey was all grown up?”

The vice captain of the first division hums, seemingly uninterested in his commander’s musings.

It goes quiet for a few minutes, the sole instigator of noise being Chifuyu flipping the pages of his manga.

Unpredictable is Baji, and the same goes for his train of thought.

“I should punch Mikey for kicking me.”

“No, you’d get beat up.”

“...”

“I should punch (Y/n) for Mikey kicking me.”

Truly, unpredictable and senseless.

“You’d still get beat up.”

Baji opens his mouth to argue.

“By Mikey.”

He promptly closes it.

“Fuck it. I’ll keep spicing up their relationship as payback.”

Sighing, Chifuyu closes his book to crouch down next to him. “Baji-san, with all due respect, you’re an asshole.”

Baji Keisuke has experienced betrayal twice today.

And he deserved it both times.

[dokidokitsuna]

I’ve been thinking about this experience a lot lately, so I’m going to write a cathartic little blurb about it and hopefully just get it out of my head:

So a year or two ago, on this forum I belong to that’s mostly populated by other comic artists and writers, I started a thread to ask for suggestions about writing a character with no friends. Because I wanted to write this MC more like a normal girl, without “using my own art-obsessed life as a blueprint”-- basically, being an artist means I always have something to do alone, which makes being alone matter less, and I know it wouldn’t be the same if I wasn’t ‘like this’. But I don’t know any other way to live, so I wanted some outside perspectives.

What I didn’t anticipate was the appalling things people were willing to say to me about the mere idea of writing about a character with no friends...I’m not going to quote any of those comments directly, because the worst ones were actually pretty long and complex, and maybe I’m just being optimistic, but I believe they were mainly emotional reactions based on the hurt that they had felt during similar times in their lives (basically, the people who were MOST adamant that such a character should not exist were those who had also been friendless before, as backwards as it sounds).

But, uh...that emotion did not come out in good ways. o_O And just in general, being hurt is not an excuse to dehumanize others...which is exactly what happened. I got people telling me things like “forming friendships is a fundamental part of the human experience, why would you take that away” and “isn’t there enough sadness in the world without writing something so depressing” and “how do you expect to progress her story in any compelling way without relationships to base it on”...

Like, stuff so narrow-minded and unexpected (I’d been in that forum for over 4 years at that point) I was too shocked to even get angry.

Fortunately, most of the people who replied decided to be normal about it, but the fact that multiple people genuinely thought those things were okay to say, as if they carried no real-world implications whatsoever...that stuck with me. :/ It was genuinely upsetting that they apparently looked at that topic and went “Gee, I wonder why this clearly neurodivergent, introverted, seasoned writer wants to explore the concept of not having friends...it couldn’t possibly be a lived experience that they want to express through a fictional character...no, it MUST be because they just don’t understand how people or stories work, and I have to warn them before they make a terrible mistake!!”

And even if it wasn’t personal to me, and I was just writing it to explore a different worldview (as writers often do)...why the taboo?? Why is this, of all things, a character/story that ‘no one wants to read’?? So many threads started in that forum (some of them also by me) about stories starring murderers and abusers and actual supervillains go uncontested, but a story about a cute magical girl who just doesn’t happen to have friends crosses the line...? 

Even now I can’t understand why the reaction was so severe...generally, I think ‘social skill issues’ tend to hit people really close to home, but the idea of responding to such a thing with disgust and revulsion rather than kindness and understanding (or y’know, encouragement to portray a commonly stigmatized life experience in a non-negative light)...that escapes me. Even if I didn’t feel emotionally ready (?) to read about such an MC, I would never have the gall to try to guilt someone out of writing them.

Anyway, I don’t really have a snappy conclusion to make here...it’ll probably take a few more years of marinating in my brain for me to fully process what happened there. ._. I guess if anything I just wanna say that people without any friends or just people without any close friends exist in real life, we’re not all depressed and suicidal (in fact, some of us are-- dare I say it-- HAPPY regardless) and we still have lives and goals and thoughts and futures. Our stories matter, and other people don’t need to be ‘protected’ from them. That’s all.

[fucking-destiel]

Edit: It turns out a lot of the information I had given out was false. I will be making a report later tonight explaining the truth, but in short the voting was fake and Jensen will not be receiving an award. I would also like to say I never intended on having all Brazilian fans attacked, I was mainly trying to call out people I thought were being disrespect to Jensen/Dean. I never meant to spread false news but I didn't check my sources as best as I should've and for that I am truly sorry.

SUPERNATURAL NEWS OF THE DAY: Toxic Brazil Fans Attack!

So get this (😉), there's this award show in Brazil called Séries Brasil. It does a variety of awards, but it mainly has to do with TV shows. Their account is @SeriesBrasil on Twitter. Now Supernatural just so happened to have multiple nominations and wins, including Misha Collins winning Best Actor for his portrayal on Castiel. That is a great accomplishment and I'm so proud of him. But then we have another award...

The award show decided to have an award called Worst Character. Considering this is a real and popular award show in Brazil (with 1M follows on Twitter), this shouldn't even be an award in the first place. Award shows are suppose to be about celebrating the good, not belittling the bad. Anyways, the results came in and they are SHOCKING:

Dean Winchester won in a SICKENING landslide. Now mind you, this is a REAL award show, not just a silly award show made up by a fan. Which means that

Jensen Ackles will be sent this award.

That is extremely messed up that these so called fans would take part in such a cruel thing. Now I'm not gonna say Dean Winchester is a perfect character who did nothing wrong. He is flawed and has made some questionable choices at times, but Dean also sacrificed his own wellbeing time and time again to save the world. He has inspired many people to keep on fighting even during the darkest of times. On top of that, Jensen Ackles just finished working on the show after 15 years. Not to mention he cares a lot about Dean and considers Dean his best friend. This is such a HUGE slap in the face for all the work Jensen put into Supernatural and it's even worse that a lot of the same people who voted for him claim to be fans of the show. If you actively HATE on Sam, Dean, Cas, or their actors, you are NOT a real fan of the show. It's one thing to disagree with certain things the characters/actors do, it's another thing to hate on them. I am so disgusted by this behavior and this award should have never been a thing in the first place.

I'm personally asking everyone who reads this to reblog this because this is such a messed up thing to do and Jensen deserves better than that, and I hope more fans can become aware of this situation.

My idea is that we should trend the hashtag #WhyILoveDean and #WhyILoveJensen and talk about why we love Dean/Jensen and how they have impacted our lives on Twitter to show that the Brazilian "fans" do NOT represent the SPN fandom. If anyone would like to help with more planning, feel free to message me. Thank you.

-Tori // Fucking-Destiel

[lazyliars]

/rp

DreamXD actually slots very nicely into a working theory I've had for about two or so months now, mainly centering around one question:

What happened to Dream?

Namely, why did Dream change, when exactly did it happen, and was it solely an internal change, or was there an external force at play, specifically a preternatural one?

I think with DreamXD, we might finally have an answer.

Or at least some clues to follow. DreamXD presents a shift in every single paradigm the Dream SMP has had. Like, I think most of it is just being so utterly blind-sided by George Lore Real, but part of it is the massive ramifications of an Actual God* being present in the storyline.

((*On the other resident god of the server, Foolish:

DreamXD is different than Foolish, in that his characterization is so dramatically inhuman - Foolish talks and acts like a (somewhat eccentric) person, and his powers are, as far as we know, limited in comparison to the creative-mode godhood that DreamXD occupies. And whether that is because Foolish is not a "full" god (having been referred to as a demigod) or simply because he's spent so much time around humans, we don't know, but we do know that either way, DreamXD is NOT that.

DreamXD's voice is marked by glitches and dramatic shifts in tone, he seems to lack control over the different aspects of his personality, like the more "Dream" part vs. the darker one that threatens to eat peoples souls. The "normal" part even displays confusion when George references things that the "darker" part said, implying that it may not be fully aware of itself.

TLDR: Foolish acts more human than DreamXD, who has a very eldritch personality.))

To get right to the point:

The Dream we knew before November 16th, and the Dream we know now are not the same. Something changed, and it changed for the worse.

Consider: Dream was always antagonistic to the L'manbergians - he was always imperious to them, and he was responsible for starting a number of fights between his faction and theirs, just as many if not more than they were.

But, he was also not... evil. He'd pick fights with Tommy, the disc wars were still a thing, but the gravity of the spats they had weren't dire. They were fun. They were... actually a game. He wasn't like the way he is now. While in hindsight we can look at these events and detect a serious undertone knowing what's to come, at the time they were far from it.

There is an argument to be made that he had the same tendencies as now, just not expressed as loudly, and while I believe it's a valid argument, I disagree that it's proof of Dream always being the way he is now.

Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Sam. They all remember Dream as their friend - they remember someone who was, maybe a little aggressive and a lot competitive, but not cruel. Not needlessly murderous. Not someone who steals sentimental items and lines the walls of a disgusting museum to use against them.

Dream cut them out. Sapnap was totally blindsided. Bad doesn't seem to fully believe it. Sam blamed himself for not realizing and tried to take the weight of that crime on his own shoulders by becoming the Warden.

There's also the competing theory that what happened to Dream was purely psychological - either the circumstances slowly isolating him from his friends driving him to the do things he's done, or a desire for control that started early and continued to fester until it overshadowed everything else, or any combination of both.

And those theories are still valid, they could still be the case, but I haven't been able to shake the idea that there is something deeper at play. I can't overstate how the exile arc and everything after it have been so inhumane, so cruel, and... not exactly out of character in the sense that I could never see Dream doing them, but in the sense that I could never see him doing them for no reason.

And there really doesn't seem to be one. Dream says himself, it's like a game. He sees people as toys, puppets. And there just doesn't seem to be an inciting incident that could explain how he made the leap from semi-authoritarian leader who, despite being a warmonger, does love his friends, to heartless murderer who wants to reduce everyone he knows to dolls.

There's... ways, he could get there, but nothing that we've seen makes sense. There is a missing piece, something that must have happened from his POV that we didn't get to see because he doesn't stream.

And DreamXD could be it. This godly entity that claims that it is "a part of [Dream]" but that it isn't him entirely. That seems to share the lack of understanding of humanity that Dream has been displaying like when he asks if resurrecting Tommy was “cool.” But that still loves George. He still, despite apparently not having the same history as Dream, desperately wants to be George's friend.

If I had to pinpoint the moment Dream changed, it would be the day that he revealed that he switched sides, and was going to be fighting against Pogtopia. He was paid for this betrayal in the Revive Book.

I mark this as the turning point in my theory because it is the first time Dream mentions his affinity for chaos in the context of hurting others. However, we also know that this likely wasn't the day he actually made the decision to betray - as he revealed that there was a traitor among the Pogtopians, a fact that he likely would have learned before this.

Now, I mark George's lore stream as the introduction of DreamXD proper, and I want that on the record because it isn't technically his first appearance on the server.

Most people will remember him from Techno's stream, where he logged on to break the End Portal in a panic. I doubt the character was properly written into the lore at that time, but it fits neatly with the rest of what we know about him - a guardian of the server, and the keeper of it's rules. No contradictions.

What less people might know, is that DreamXD has made an even earlier appearance, and it's this one where things begin to get... interesting.

Around roughly October of 2020, Tubbo and Fundy did some improv'd streams centering around Demon Hunting, or rather, "Dreamon" Hunting, and it's during the first of these two streams that DreamXD makes an appearance.

The bare bones of it was - Tubbo is an experienced "Dreamon Hunter" and teaches Fundy his ways. They find Dream, and realize that he has a Dreamon inside of him, which is basically an evil version of him. They attempt to exorcise the Dreamon from Dream via various shenanigans, and eventually, they do a ceremony to free Dream. However, they apparently botch it, and unleash the Dreamon within. After more shenanigans, one attempt to fix it utilizing Fundy and Dream's wedding appears to work, but then DreamXD logs on, flys around at Tubbo and Fundy threateningly, and they end stream on the idea that there are probably more Dreamons to hunt.

Now. There's a lot to unpack here. I'm not gonna go into the nitty gritty details in this post, but I do recommend watching the Dreamon streams, as they have A LOT of details that, if this is getting incorporated into the main story line, could be important - especially the focus on duality, having TWO versions of Dream, which end up being potentially separated from each other.

(Also, they're just really funny streams. Tubbo and Fundy are at PEAK chaos and Dream plays along with their inane bit perfectly, it's just good content.)

At the time of the Dreamon streams airing, they were explicitly non-canon. IIRC Tubbo and Fundy referred to them as taking place In an “alternate universe,” which makes sense considering they would have been on opposite sides at the time (Manburg and Pogtopia.)

However.

And this is where I show you my wall of red string and newspaper clippings.

My singular piece of evidence for this comes from one line DreamXD drops. He simply says: “At least you're not hunting me.”

The Dreamon streams take place around early October. Dream reveals his betrayal of Pogtopia around November 6th-7th. The timeline of the Dreamon streams would line up perfectly with the idea that there was a catalyzing event that put Dream on the proverbial path to hell.

I do not believe that they intended the Dreamon arc to be anything other than a side story at the time, but considering that DreamXD himself was barely canon until now, I don't think it's out of the question that they took a look back at a fan-favorite minor arc, saw an opportunity to co-opt it into the current story line, and potentially fill in some holes regarding Dream's characterization all in one move.

On the question of whether this would be a GOOD storytelling move?

The Dreamon theories were prevalent during the exile arc, and I've got to say, I was never a huge fan. The detachment of Dream's actions from his intentions, and by extension his morality, never sat right with me. It feels cheap to make him a victim and say “a Dreamon did it!” in regards to all of the horrible things that he's done. It strips his agency and makes everything that happened less impactful in my opinion, and I stand by that reading.

BUT. With DreamXD introduced, I feel like it's necessary to look at this from all angles. And with the way DreamXD was characterized in George's stream, I don't think it necessarily ruins Dream's character to say that an external force was involved with his descent into evil.

Namely, the idea that whatever happened to Dream was not really a “possession” so much as a gradual loss of humanity, could be an interesting way to look at this. It implies that Dream was always capable of his actions, but grants us understanding as to why he would actually perform them, and why he might have become isolated enough from his friends that they would let this happen.

The Dream we know now could be an expression of his “worst self” brought to the surface by a Dreamon/DreamXD/other. It also begs the question of what would happen if that force were to leave him, and how it might cause yet another shift in character, especially if it were to be portrayed as less of a switch being flipped, and more of a withdrawal, with a gradual process of realizing how far gone he was.

To close this out, I've been stewing on the idea that Dream hasn't entirely been himself since the climax of the Exile Arc.

I think this theory holds water, but it's also not waterproof... there are plenty of holes, and a lot of that comes from the fact that Dream doesn't stream. We're left in the dark when deciphering his character, and what might appear to be the key, could just as easily be revealed as a red herring, or even nothing at all.

Regardless of the validity of the Dreamon theory, I think that DreamXD is one of the most interesting developments we've had on the SMP in a long time, if simply because his arrival coincides with fucking George Lore Real. God. I still don't know how to deal with that.

I always appreciate people adding to the discussion by the way! Feel free to reblog with additions if you like or leave them in the replies.

And if a single one of you comes to my blog on THIS. THE DAY OF MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING. And calls ME a c!Dream Apologist to MY FACE..... I will be v sad.

[gryficowa]

I know that as a person from Poland I should feel offended by this, but it amuses me because there are so many mistakes… Firstly, he is too Aryan for a concentration camp, secondly, bad outfit, thirdly, I have seen worse things based on foreign sources on this subject (Like erasing Poles as victims of the Holocaust and being prisoners of concentration camps… So yes, I'm not offended, I know that many people would consider it "In Taste" for obviously basing it on the greatest crime of the 20th century and turning it into a strange love tragedy, but believe me, it's rather less bad than "Boy in the Striped Pyjamas" where I won't believe, so that a child who was with his father in his "workplace" would not know what his Nazi father does…)

So yes… This series (Because there's also "Papier Plane", where we get to know the perspective of a girl whose father works as a fucking guard) is still less offensive than some works from the USA about what happened during the Holocaust… Because whatever you call it, that many victims of the Nazis are ignored and one of them is blamed as "collaborating with the Nazis"? Well, I'm not saying that Poles were saints, because they fucking weren't, but it's misleading and spreading disgusting propaganda, what's next? Collaboration of the Roma with the Nazis during the extermination of the Jews? It's just something Americans are silent about. and this is a big problem, because how can you explain the fact that you make Holocaust victims into people who collaborated with the Nazis in many productions? Seriously, this fact is often omitted in American works (And by the way, Polish Jews were also Poles… Just some information for you…)

It's just that, as I mentioned, it's less offensive than what the Americans did in their productions about the Holocaust… Because if I accept "The Pianist" because it's a fucking film adaptation of the diary of a Jew who lived at that time, then I may have more problems in other productions… Yes, Poles can be a piece of shit (I saw their worst side in 2020), "which doesn't change the fact that Poles are struggling with fucking generational trauma after all the shit the Nazis did to them, so it's even more distasteful to erase Poles as victims of the Holocaust… Seriously, Americans often leave out movies about the Holocaust when they make movies about it." "Other" victims than Jews, I'm not saying that talking about Jews is bad, I mean the fact that it is disgusting when all the victims are left silent (Or I antagonize one of them…), that is my problem with what the mainly American media does (Because apparently talking about Roma, gays, trans and people with disabilities would be too controversial for conservative fuckers from the USA…), The USA has a significant influence on the perception of history in other countries, their media have greater power of reaching and that is why it is a bigger problem, because they spread disinformation about the Holocaust…

And unfortunately, because of the way the US spreads disinformation, people do not perceive Israel's crimes as a big problem, nor do they perceive the persecution of LGBT+ people as Nazism… Unfortunately, education in Poland is also poor (Thanks to the right-wing conservative government), I had knowledge about the victims and all the crimes from the Internet (Because in Polish schools you'll learn how many lands some fucking king lost, not about the fucking crime, which affects even today's fucking times…), seriously, I'm interested in history and that's why I started to get more irritated when the USA showed the history of the Holocaust…

And yes, the USA also spreads propaganda that they fought the Nazis… The problem is that they did shit, Poles had to fight for their independence, and then the USA stole their success… In addition, the fact that many people who it was won by LGBT+ people… Unfortunately, the success of LGBT+ people in liberating Poland is still passed over in silence, and then we have fucked up nationalists on independence day… Seriously, Poland even had a black insurgent…

Witold Smętek, an intersex person with a assigned female gender at birth, was active in the underground

So many wonderful people about whom a film could be made… But no, it's better to continue spreading the propaganda that all Poles collaborated with the Nazis… But coming back, I don't feel offended by this series of songs, because seriously, it's not that bad as I mentioned, is this: It was worse…

[charmingyong]

Wasabi Chocolates

Genre: Ten x reader (gender neutral), co-workers, one-sided hate to love, humour, fluff

Warnings: the number of times I wrote “oh my god,” swear words, somewhat mentally violent reader (’you’re going crazy~’ because of Ten), physical injury, cats (sorry to those allergic)

Abbrev: F/N L/N = first name last name

Word count: 6k

Plot: You were a good child, always being nice to your classmates in elementary school. Unlike Ten who was always a troublemaker. When your family decided to move away during middle school, you were relieved thinking that you weren’t ever going to see him again. But you were wrong a decade later when your new co-worker was none other than the devil himself.

A/N: You’ll see that I watch a lot of cat vlogs. Please let me know if there are any issues in terms of the gender-neutral assignment.

- ❀ -

“Oh my God! Did you hear about the new guy that got hired in our department? I heard he’s super hot!” Sally gushed.

Your colleagues around you continued to gossip while your gaze was fixed onto the word document on your monitor. It didn’t faze you that the workspace next to yours was going to be occupied soon.

“Wow Y/N, aren’t you lucky?”

You rolled your eyes. Who knew how the new employee was going to turn out in terms of work habits? You were always punctual when completing work before deadlines and arriving for work, except for the times when the brutal winter would take forever to heat your car up. You were hardworking and smart, always getting praised by your higher-ups. You were proud of the compliments, but you mainly did it for self discipline. You loved your coworkers. They were all productive like you and adored you back. You were always genuinely nice to them, ready to help them out whenever they needed a helping hand. It made you happy that your workplace was a healthy environment and you looked forward to working there every day.

You hoped the new co-worker would be no exception.

“We’ll see about that when he starts. When is he coming?” you asked.

“Tomorrow.”

- ❀ -

The next morning you arrived a little earlier than usual, wanting to welcome the newbie and give him a tour around the building. You placed your tote bag that had a poorly self-drawn picture of your cat and turned on your desktop monitor, displaying the wallpaper of your sleeping cat on your bed. You smiled, your heart fluttering at how cute Sakura looked. You heard the doors slide open of your department, signaling an arrival. Removing your gaze from the monitor, you stood up ready to greet them warmly.

Only to have your blood turn cold and your face scrunched up ever so slightly when you realized who it was.

An amused smile grew on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe this. The one and only F/N L/N is my work buddy.”

Ten.

He was the new employee that was going to be located beside you.

The same troublemaker from elementary school. The one who’d make fun of the new kids with accents, start fights with other boys, be loud and obnoxious in class, and worst of all, act all high mighty as if he was the most important person in the school.

You scoffed. There went your hope jumping out the tenth-floor window. Hope for your new co-worker to be no exception to the healthy workplace environment. “I feel a headache coming,” you muttered to yourself.

- ❀ -

Ten had settled down at his workspace, and your colleagues gathered around him, asking about himself. He took out something from his bag, a gift for his new coworkers.

“Wow Ten! You’re so cool!” Sally fanned herself as if Ten’s coolness was too much for her to handle.

“I know right.” Ten had a smug smile on his face.

You scoffed from your seat. “Who the fuck brings wine to work?” Ten had brought a red wine bottle as a ‘please take care of me’ gift. Who was even going to drink it during work hours?

“It looks like someone doesn’t know how to have fun,” he threw shade at you.

You glared at him, your blood boiling the more you heard his voice.

“Y/N doesn’t. That’s why she’s still single,” Mina agreed.

You started at her in disbelief. “Excuse me, but I’m living a grand life.”

“Please, I’m tired of hearing your love stories with your cat.”

Ten’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Woah! You have a cat? That’s so cool!” he gushed.

You rolled your eyes. “I thought you saw my computer screen already.”

He got onto his feet quickly and bent down to hover over your shoulder. The close proximity between you two sent your heart beating erratically. “Wow... What’s her name? She’s so cute,” he cooed, straightening his spine up.

Your heartbeat went back to normal and you heaved out a sigh in relief. “Sakura, and how do you know she’s a female?”

He held up two fingers. “I have two cats. And I love cats so much that I can accurately guess if they’re a he or she.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, a smirk forming on his face. “I beat you. You have one and I have two cats.”

If you weren’t at work, you would have chucked a pencil at him. And you couldn’t believe your ears. You both had one thing in common after all those childhood years when you’d compare your good self to his bad one.

The day went by super slow, all thanks to the devil. You had given him a tour of the building, trying to keep your cool to the best of your ability whenever he made remarks. Once you explained the work for the day, you tried to focus on your work.

It hadn’t been a few seconds when you felt a poke in the shoulder. “Y/N, how do I do this? What is this supposed to mean? Why are we doing this?”

Like the way your hope did, you wanted to jump out the window.

- ❀ -

A couple of days later, Ten had picked up everything that you taught him, even completing his work faster than you. Your pace had only slowed down a bit because of the living distraction next to you. He had changed the desktop wallpaper to a selfie with his two cats. You weren’t ever going to admit this out loud, but he looked just a little bit cute with the adorable furry felines.

Your boss had announced that there was going to be a lunch party happening at the end of the week to welcome the newly hired employees in the company. Parties and such weren’t your thing anymore. Lifestyle habits changed after adopting your beautiful Sakura. But the reason why you kind of looked forward to it was because of a particular someone from another department.

“You know what this means?” Mina wiggled her eyebrows.

“What?”

“Shoot your shot! Who knows someone will catch your eyes at the party?”

“Or a secret admirer of yours finally asks you out,” Joshua added.

“Which is not happening,” you said. “My luck isn’t that great.”

Flashbacks to your previous failed dates haunted you and you didn’t have it in you to try again. You were happy with Sakura and did your best to stay positive, convincing yourself that your love for your cat was enough to be happy in your successful life.

Your last words had Ten staring at you intently.

- ❀ -

Your group walked to the location of the lunch party on the main floor. Your heart wasn’t exactly beating fast, only doing a few somersaults. Upon entering the main hall, you saw many employees from other departments chatting with one another. Your eyes scanned the area to search for a particular boy.

You found him. He wore a black suit with a white-collar shirt. His dark hair neatly styled. Xiaojun, you believed was his name based on that one time he had delivered a speech at a mass conference. You had never talked to him and didn’t find it in you to do so. You could tell he was way younger than you and that stopped you from approaching him. If you talked to him, it would only make you feel like you were talking to your son than your crush.

Ten followed your line of sight and smirked. “Wow, does my Y/N have a crush on someone?”

Your heart stopped and turned to glare at him. “What the fuck do you mean my Y/N?”

He snickered. “So you like him, huh?”

Sally’s ears piqued interest. “Oh my God! Did I just hear that Y/N has a crush?”

“Finally someone other than her cat!” Mina cried. “Who who?” Her head turned in all directions as if she was going to find someone holding a sign saying ‘I’m her crush.’

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Ugh! I don’t! Ten’s just being an asshole.”

“Hey! I only speak the truth!”

Joshua spoke up. “Okay fine Y/N. Let’s say you don’t have a crush. Is there someone in this room that catches your eye?”

Even if someone did, you weren’t going to admit it. But for your colleagues’ sake, you pretended to search the room. “No.”

Before they could force you to go around and show your face, a group of people walked into the hall, carrying various foods for the lunch party and placing them on the white clothed tables lined up near the wall. A guy carried a plate of what looked like chocolates and placed it on the desserts table. You recognized the guy being Yuta, having bumped into him a couple of times when going out for Japanese meals and making small talks. Though you found it weird that he only brought a small box when there were at least two hundred people present.

You remembered Yuta saying that he loved pranking people and if the chocolates were the bait for his next prank, an idea formed in your head.

“Okay guys, I have an idea.”

“Huh?” Mina was bewildered from your sudden declaration.

“I’m going to make your wish come true.”

“Woah what do you mean? You’re gonna ask someone out?” Joshua grew excited by your words.

You nodded. “If someone eats that chocolate Yuta brought without making a reaction, I’ll ask them out on one date.”

Your colleagues showed a mixed reaction of shock and excitement. Ten was silently watching you with his eyes holding a shine.

Yes, you could have been wrong and Yuta may have brought chocolates for people who were lucky to get their hands on it first. But when the first victim when up to take a bite of the chocolate, your theory had turned out right. It was a prank. The woman’s face scrunched up in disgust and turned red.

Ten saw this, trying to think of the possible things that could be inside the chocolates. He could handle spicy things easily, but he didn’t like fruits and hoped those weren’t inside.

He was curious about you, loved annoying you to the point you were pulling your hair. A date sounded like the perfect thing in order to have more fun with you. He knew you’d never agree to one with him, knowing the bad reputation he had as a child. Your reaction to when he first walked into the department on his first day was enough to confirm that you still held onto the ill thoughts of him.  

He walked through the crowds before another person would snatch the opportunity. He observed the round chocolates, definitely handcrafted, and were perfectly sealed off without anyone doubting its contents. He picked one up and headed back to you.

You were puzzled to see Ten hold a piece of Yuta’s chocolate. Your brain feared for the possibility of what Ten had in mind.

Mina squealed. “Don’t tell me you’re going to eat the chocolate Y/N was talking about!”

Ten gave you a mischievous smirk while you shook your head. “Don’t you dare,” you breathed out.

“You didn’t put any restrictions.” While holding eye contact with you, he placed the chocolate in his mouth, not biting it right away.

Your heart felt uneasy. You hoped desperately for Ten to lose the challenge.

He slowly bit into the sweet cocoa shell, testing the filling. He felt the heat of the spicy pungent flavour explode in his mouth, immediately figuring out that the filling was wasabi. Good thing he broke the round shell slowly so he could get used to the taste instead of being thrown under the bus and distorting his face.

Ten chewed calmly as you began panicking. If he finished eating the chocolate without making a single face, you were doomed. Why Ten out of everyone? Why would Ten even be interested in going on a date with you?

After a minute, he opened his mouth.

Your heart dropped.

The pungent smell of wasabi hit your nose but nothing was in his mouth. He finished it.

“So Y/N, this means I get to go out with you,” he stated with a triumph smile.

How do you get away with murder without reading books for ideas?

- ❀ -

You unlocked the door to your apartment, gently opening it to find Sakura sitting by the door, waiting for you excitedly.

“Awe my baby!” you cooed and picked her up.

She nuzzled into your cozy sweater and purred.

“Are you hungry, girl?”

A meow as a reply.

You put her down and made your way to the kitchen. As you prepared her meal, you thought back to Ten’s words on his first day.

I have two cats.

Poor cats. You felt bad for their unfortunate fate of having Ten as their owner.

You placed the elevated food bowl on the counter and called her. She jumped effortlessly onto the counter and stuffed her head inside the bowl.

A notification chimed on your phone, followed by another one, and another one. “Huh, who could that be?” you asked to yourself.

3 unread messages: Ten

You groaned upon seeing the devil’s name. This would only mean one thing.

Ten: tmrw’s saturday

Ten: let’s go on that date

Ten: uwu

You cringed at the last message. He was nowhere near uwu in your eyes. You also didn’t want to go out with him this soon, but it was better to get it over with than having to put it off.

Y/N: fine

Y/N: 2pm at the shopping mall

Ten: see you tmrw babe ;)

You gagged.

- ❀ -

It was 1:52 pm and you waited at the entrance of the mall, scrolling through your gallery on the phone. Why did you come early? A habit of yours. And when you were supposed to be on a ‘date’ with a devil that you despised greatly, it was better to arrive early and calm yourself down before you could murder him at first sight. You chose the mall, thinking it was better to walk around than having to sit across him and look at his face the entire time. Plus, you were almost positive that your window shopping was going to be torturous for Ten.

“Boo!”

“Ah!” You whipped around to see the devil laughing his ass off.

“Oh my God Y/N. You should have seen your face.” Ten mimicked your scream, exaggerating it with a funny face.

You puffed. “Shut up!”

“Okay okay. No need to frown. So what are we here for?” He rubbed his palms together excited for the date.

You rolled your eyes. “This is a shopping mall. We’re obviously here to shop.”

“Yeah but anything in particular?”

You shook your head. If anything caught your eye for Sakura, then that was it. Your plan was to walk around window shopping long enough that Ten would start whining and leave you.

And never dare to go out with you again.

You expected him to play it cool if he didn’t like the idea, but his wide grin and sparkling eyes told you otherwise. “Perfect! We can walk around and see if we find something for our cats. I actually have some art supplies to buy too.”

Your heart dropped, not expecting the uno reverse card.

He noticed your fallen face, knowing the reason behind it and cooed. “Awe your so cute!” He pinched your cheek, in which you swatted his hand away.

He laughed with his crinkling eyes while heat rose up to your cheeks.

“Let’s go!” Ten clung onto your arm and pulled you with him. You didn’t have it in you to pull out of his grasp when your heart was hammering in your chest.

- ❀ -

The next time you arrived at work, you were surprised to find Ten already at his desk. He usually arrived after you.

“Morning Y/N!” he chirped.

You never realized how handsome he really was when sweetly smiling at you.

Every day your cold heart towards him melted whenever he’d ask if you wanted coffee or needed any help. Whenever he’d leave his workspace with his desktop wallpaper displayed on the monitor, you stared at the selfie picture and your heart picked up its pace at the cute cats and Ten’s smile.

One day, you arrived to work with your heart expecting to see the cute kitten in the form of a human, only to be disappointed by his absence. All your colleagues had arrived on time shortly, except for the one beside you. It was past 10 am, an hour after the expected arrival time, which you thought was weird for Ten to be away from work without informing anyone.

Your phone vibrated beside you, displaying an unknown number. “Weird,” you mumbled but answered in case it had something to do with Ten. “Hello?”

“Hello, am I speaking to Y/N?” An unknown female’s voice was heard over the line.

“Yes?”

“Hello, I’m calling from the hospital regarding a patient named Ten.”

Your body froze. Hospital? Patient? “Oh my God! What happened to Ten?” You didn’t know you were loud for others to hear you. A sick feeling formed in your stomach at the thought of Ten being hurt.

“Not to worry too much. He has a minor injury and he requested for you.”

You grabbed your belongings and sprinted out the office.

- ❀ -

Your eyes scanned the room full of patients sitting on the beds, waiting for either the doctor or their loved ones.

“Y/N! Over here!” Your head snapped in his direction, where he sat on the bed with a cast on his arm. The boy really only knew how to smile, even when he was injured with his dominant arm.

“Why the fuck are you here? What happened to you?” you yelled full of anger.

A nurse attending another patient hushed you, and you muttered a sheepish apology.

“I was on my way to work and on the crosswalk-”

“Ten, why don’t you look both ways before crossing the road? Why do you always do reckless things? How are you going to work now? Even worse, how are you going to take care of yourself and your cats?”

“Woah, easy there tiger. It’s just a small cast. I’ll be fine,” Ten waved his free hand in a dismissive manner. “Everything will be okay.”

You groaned, frustrated with his carefree attitude. “Why do you love causing so much trouble? What the hell is wrong with you?”

He didn’t say anything back, opting to stay mute with pursed lips. Of course you wouldn’t have anything to say, you thought.

A man appeared beside you. “Hello. Are you Ten?” he asked the boy on the bed.

Ten nodded. “Yes I am.”

You gave the man a quick glance who wore a black formal suit. He couldn’t be working at the hospital with that kind of attire.

“Hi, I’m Taeyong. I want to sincerely apologize and thank you with all my heart for this morning.”

Wait what? “What happened this morning?” you asked him utterly confused. Why was this man saying thank you and sorry to Ten?

“My son was crossing the road and wasn’t paying attention to the pedestrian lights, almost getting hit by a car.”

You gasped audibly. “Oh no! Is he alright?”

He smiled at you. “Yes he is. All thanks to Ten for jumping into the traffic and saving him.”

Ten? Ten saved a child? Ten risked his safety to save someone? Your heart fluttered as you gaped at the one you’d always call the devil, for once having done an angelic deed to save a child’s life.

Ten avoided your eyes and looked at Taeyong. “It’s not a problem at all. I hope he’s okay.”

Taeyong nodded. “Yes he is. As a form of gratitude, I’d like to pay for your hospital bills.”

“Oh there’s no need-”

“I insist. Please,” Taeyong pleaded, not willing to back down.

Ten let out a deep sigh. “Okay. If you really don’t mind.”

Taeyong smiled warmly. “It’s the least I can do. I’ll take your leave and pay at the front. Take care, Ten.” With that, Taeyong left.

You huffed. “So you were just to leave me in the dark and not tell me?”

He shrugged. “You cut me off before I could explain.”

Oh right. “Sorry,” you mumbled.

He nodded. “Apology accepted... under one condition.”

You rapidly blinked a few times. Condition? “Okay what is it?” You still felt guilty for jumping to conclusion and you were ready to take him on another date if that was what he wanted. But you were still confused that Ten even wanted to go on a date with you earlier.

An innocent smile formed on his face. “I’m going to need help now that my one arm isn’t working.”

You nodded, agreeing to his words, and expected that much. “How can I help?”

“Live with me.”

“WHAT?” You earned another hush from the nearby nurse and apologized again. “I am not living with you. I have Sakura to take care of and she has a problem adjusting to new environments,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Then I’ll come live with you. Louis and Leon have no problem with that,” he stated seriously.

“That doesn’t solve anything. You know our cats have to get used to each other first. Otherwise they’ll just be hissing at each other every day.”

“Anything to do with cats, leave it to me. I’ll fix all the problems.” He smirked for the nth time. “So that means you’re okay with me living with you, huh?”

If he didn’t have a cast on him, you would have grabbed the pillow off the bed and chucked it at his face.

- ❀ -

“Your place is pretty cute. Like you,” Ten said while his eyes wandered around your small apartment. You heard him say the last part but chose to ignore it, assuming that he was either lying or joking.

The old you would have never agreed to let Ten live with you. But your feelings were slowly developing for the devil and you wanted to slap yourself for that. Why Ten out of anyone? And even though you went out with Ten, why was he okay with you?

Oh yes, you both had cats.

All your previous dates had made a dash towards the exit upon hearing your love for your cat. It was only three dates, but it was enough for you to pull the brakes on dating. You couldn’t figure why they had a problem with that. Wasn’t it normal to have a pet? Maybe yours was taking it a little too far and it seemed more like an obsession. You only ever thought about Sakura, bringing every little thing to connect to Sakura during the conservations. Every time you looked at your date, your mind went on overdrive thinking about what Sakura was up to. You had a security camera set up in the living room to check on her through the phone app.

Needless to say, you were more concerned about your cat than your dates, and that made you never hear back from them again.

Upon entry of the strangers in her home, Sakura ran up to the highest tier of the cat tower, hissing as her little furs stood up.

“Sakura don’t worry. They won’t hurt you,” you spoke softly while patting her backside.

Ten chuckled. “Sakura is feisty, just like you.”

You glared at him. “I never show my feisty side.”

He scoffed. “Please, it’s literally written all over your face.” He smirked and added, “It’s quite entertaining.”

You scowled.

Sakura continued hissing in the direction of the other cats. Louis and Leon were still in their carriers, looking around curiously through the windows.

“Meow?”

“Yes Leon, we’re staying here until I get better.” Ten took out a blanket from one of his bags and spread it out in the living room. He unzipped Leon’s carrier and waited for the cat to courageously come out. After a few seconds of popping his head out and looking around, Leon hopped out and nuzzled against the familiar blanket, not minding the hissing from the top of the tower.

Louis was next, and unlike Leon, Louis began his tour around his temporary home.

“When do you have to take your pain medication?” you asked.

“Before dinner. What should we eat?”

“You’re the patient. You should decide.”

He hummed for a bit. “How about ramen? I’m craving for those instant ramen noodles.”

Wow. You could really start tallying up all the similarities that you both had, and the thought of it made your heart skip a beat.

“Perfect. I have a stash of it,” you replied.

He grinned at you and you looked away from his eyes, coughing out of nervousness. “Um, for bed you can either take my room or sleep on this pull-out daybed here.” You were grateful for your selection of a furniture that came three-in-one for your living room. Sofa, additional storage, and bed. It was wiser to go for a multifunctional product when living in an apartment.

Ten’s eyes narrowed in amusement. “Wow is F/N L/N really giving up the bedroom for me?”

You froze. You didn’t think of it beforehand and worried if your heart was going to get caught. He was injured and you didn’t have it in you to force him on the daybed when he could feel better on your queen-sized bed. But if he was going to pull your leg, then you were going to take back the offer. “Fine, be in the living room.”

He smiled kindly. “I wouldn’t take your room even if you insisted. But I really appreciate the thought, Y/N,” he spoke softly.

The way his eyes brightened when fixed on you had your heart ready to jump out the window.

- ❀ -

Sakura’s bed was usually in the living room. But because of the strangers that hijacked there, she moved into your bedroom. It didn’t really make a big difference to you as she sometimes slept next to you in bed. Meanwhile, you were surprised that Louis and Leon had adjusted fairly quickly to both the new home and its owners.

You got out of the bathroom after taking your bedtime shower, cuing Ten to go in next. Walking into the kitchen, you prepared a glass of warm milk for yourself. Leon and Louis began meowing and purring at your drink and so you decided to prepare three bowls of it. You placed the bowls for Leon and Louis down on the floor, in which they began sipping immediately, while keeping Sakura’s on the counter, her preferred location for meals and away from the ‘intruders.’ You picked her up and transported her to the counter, keeping her far away as possible from the other cats.

“Y/N, can you help me?”

You headed to the direction of the bathroom and found him standing like a kicked puppy. “What is it?”

“I need help taking my clothes off.”

“WHAT?” You were not going to strip him naked.

He laughed hard, holding his stomach. “Chill I was joking. At least for the bottoms. Can you help me take off my shirt?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, bashful at the request. Well this was what he meant when he said he needed help, you thought.

You moved to stand in front of him. Your fingers hesitated to touch his shirt and Ten watched you with an entertained expression. Taking a deep breath which you smelled your favourite body wash coming from him, you grasped the hem of his shirt and slowly pulled it upward. You weren’t trying to look at his abs knowing it was going to freak you out. But when your eyes landed on his six-pack abs, you yelped and accidentally tugged on his injured arm.

“Ow!”

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!”

He chuckled. “Calm down Y/N. My abs aren’t gonna come to life and bite you. I think you should pull the sleeve out of my arm first and then pull it up.”

You did as he said and eventually got him free of his top. So now you were standing in front of a shirtless Ten, his abs staring at you, your eyes avoiding him, and you felt like your cheeks were on fire.

“It’ll be easier to wear a sleeveless shirt... or no shirt at all. Your reactions are so cute to watch,” he cooed.

“Have some manners at least for Sakura.”

- ❀ -

Before you left for work the next morning, Sakura had surprisingly warmed up to Ten. That was good news because she continued hissing at her new housemates. Having at least one soul at home who she wasn’t afraid of would bring her relief. Louis and Leon didn’t give her much attention and minded their own business.

At work, it felt weird to not have Ten next to you even though he was living at your place. The office environment felt different without him just as it felt different when he first joined the company. You used to be irritated of having him as your work buddy, and it was funny that you recently liked having him around, especially when work got stressful. He’d always add humour to every situation and your colleagues loved him for it, motivating them to work with a calmer mind.

Your colleagues asked you about him and when you filled them in on what happened, you wondered what was going on at home without you. You pulled out your phone and went on the security camera app. A hand flew to your mouth before you could scream.

“What is it, Y/N?” Sally asked and appeared behind you, looking at your screen. “Oh my goodness. This is...”

“What what what?” Mina ran up, followed by Joshua.

“Woah,” he breathed out, upon seeing a shirtless Ten lazing around in the living room.

You should have expected it from his words the previous night. Ten was playing with Sakura and your heart was far from okay seeing the two kittens you had a soft spot for being friendly with one another.

“So did the date happen with Ten yet?” Mina asked.

You nodded. “Yeah it did. We went to the mall.”

“Ooo~ How did it go?” Joshua asked.

“Of course it had to have gone well enough for Ten to be living with Y/N,” Sally winked in your way.

Sally was right in the sense that the date went well. Even though you weren’t a fan of Ten back when the date happened, you couldn’t lie to yourself that the date itself wasn’t fun. It was fun going to the different shops to check out cool outfits that looked jaw-dropping good on Ten, and buy some new toys for the cats. You both went to a Japanese restaurant and had sushi for lunch. The wasabi that was provided with the meal made you think back to the wasabi chocolate that Ten ate to win a date with you.

How did it taste like, you thought.

- ❀ -

One day, a meeting in the morning had bad news broken to your team. The deadline for a particular project was the next day, which meant that your entire team had to work overtime to complete it. You texted Ten of the news and he replied saying to not worry about him or the cats. You felt bad that he was going to have to handled everything on his own with his injured arm and an additional cat on top of his. Even though it was a matter of few seconds to check the security camera and see if everything was all right, your stress kept your brain preoccupied with the urgent assignment at hand and not check on the situation at home.

When you arrived home after eleven at night, you were greeted by three cats waiting for you behind the door. Your tired brain noticed that Sakura wasn’t hissing at Louis and Leon, meaning that she had finally warmed up to her new friends.

“Oh my goodness... Ten! Did you see Sakura-” You went speechless upon your entry into the living room.

Ten stood smiling at you with a canvas sitting on an easel behind him. The canvas was a painting of what looked like flowers and vines in the background that surrounded... your face?

“How did you... your arm?” You were impressed that Ten had painted it with his non-dominant hand.

“Being in here all day, I tried painting with my free hand. I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out good.” He bit his lip nervously.

You were dumbfounded. “Are you kidding me? This is so cool! It’s literally flawless. But what is this supposed to be?”

He smiled genuinely at you. “It’s a painting of you blooming around plants. There’s something I want to confess...” he trailed off nervously scratching his head.

Your heart beated faster, hoping that it was something good that he wanted to confess after showing the painting of you.

“I really like you, Y/N. I know I’m not in your good books, but I promise to be one from now on. So if you’re willing to give me a chance, will you let me be your boyfriend?” he asked with a hopeful expression.

You blinked, not believing your ears that Ten liked you back. “You seriously like me?”

He chuckled anxiously. “Yeah. I did ever since the first time I saw you again at work.”

Woah. “So that’s why you wanted to date me,” you breathed out.

He nodded. You grew silent and so he raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to confess back?”

“What?”

“I know you like me too.” His infamous smirk made a comeback. “It’s so obvious and written all over your face every day.”

“Ten?”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“I see you’re not denying it.”

You pursed your lips but failed to stop the smile from spilling onto your face. “Okay you win. I like you too.” You were ecstatic that you were not only going to live a successful life, but a satisfied one as well.

“Good, because there’s another surprise for you in the kitchen,” he stated.

You blinked at him. “What?”

“You’ll see,” he smiled innocently.  

Walking into the kitchen, you found what Ten was talking about. You brought the heart shaped box wrapped with red gift wrap to the living room, excitedly unwrapping it and opening the box in front of him.

The contents of the box being heart shaped chocolates.

“Awe, this is so cute.” You took a bite without any hesitancy and your face scrunched up miserably.

Wasabi.

Ten’s laughter resonated off the walls of your apartment as you dropped the box on the coffee table and sprinted to the kitchen, spitting it into the trash. You stormed back to Ten and crossed your arms angrily.

“You literally promised!” you yelled.

“Yeah I did. But I never said that these chocolates were for you to eat.”

“You said it was a surprise for me,” you deadpanned.

“Yeah but your surprise is this.” He picked up a piece and popped it in his mouth, chewing it as if there was no spicy filling inside it. Once he swallowed it all, he opened his mouth for proof. You were confused as to why he willingly ate the wasabi chocolate. Though you did slightly swoon over how sexy he looked when he ate the bomb so effortlessly. He closed his mouth and grinned at you.

“You owe me another date.”

[ka-writes]

——————

Notes: I had already started on the second chapter before I posted the first one, so don’t expect updates every day... I also had to do a lot of googling for this chapter.

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Chapter 1 in case you missed it:

——————

Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Warnings: Cussing, needles, character conflicts, intentional poisoning, poisoning, Jaws reference

——————

“Humans are [and text here]”

Chapter 2: What is this, an interview?

Tommy was now restrained to a chair six feet away from the weird scientist alien. He had a dark brown lab coat with a fuzzy yellow sweater underneath, matched with black pants and black leather boots. His gold rimmed Harry Potter glasses slipped down his nose bridge a bit before he pushed it up and shuffled through papers. He wore a red beanie with a big whiff of his curly chocolate hair. His skin was a weird translucent grayish color with blue speckles decorating it. He had deep brown eyes with an odd electric blue circle outlining the pupil.

His tongue licked his finger as he turned the page. This was a habit that most of the weird teachers and counselors did. It always annoyed Tommy. This time fear was also mixed into that annoyance. His saliva was tinted blue and he had sharp teeth which immediately reminded him of a shark.

“You have shark teeth.” Tommy stated absentmindedly. Clearly, this caught the scientist alien off guard.

“I have what?” The alien asked, confused.

“Shark teeth.. ya know like the weird fish creatures that eat people.” Tommy started rambling causing the shark-alien to become even more confused and slightly alarmed. “I mean I think they eat people. That’s what the shark movie showed… what was its name, Jaws I think? I dunno, my foster mom freaked out in the middle of it and we went home. That lady was weird.. She made us wear itchy clothes and take weird photos before she sent me back to the group home.”

“What?..” The shark-alien asked. Tommy jumped a bit. He forgot he was rambling to a stranger. Alien stranger at that.

“Doesn’t matter.. What's the first question bitch-boy?” Tommy liked the way the alien jumped at the randomly timed insults.

“Er- right.. First off, what’s your name?” The shark-alien asked after collecting himself.

“Tommy Innit. Yours bitch-boy?” Tommy replied.

“Wilbur Soot. Stop calling me bitch-boy!” Wilbur huffed.

“Next question, bitch-boy!” Tommy emphasized the name, getting an even angrier expression in return. Wilbur’s weird blue circle flashed red for a second which caught Tommy off guard.

Wilbur took a shaky breath before asking the next question. “How old are you?”

“Old enough! I am a big man!” Tommy stated. Yet another thing that pissed him off.

“Age?” Wilbur asked, clearly irritated.

“18.” Wilbur raised a brow, “14.” Tommy huffed. His age should only be his business not some alien-bitch who didn’t even have his file.

“If you keep lying, I may have to get the truth serum from the back.” Wilbur half-heartedly threatened. Tommy, the big man that he is, did not get scared at that statement, only slightly unsettled which clearly showed on his face.

“Now, do you have a family?” Tommy tensed at the question. It was a touchy question and was not one that was asked often especially with his reputation.

“I am a big man. I don’t need a family to be great.” Tommy stated, happy with the answer. The alien-bitch shifted awkwardly.

“Right… What is your diet?”

“Umm.. I dunno, whatever I can find. I am allergic to nuts though..” Wilbur nodded in understanding and wrote things down in his notepad.

“What plants are poisonous to you?” Wilbur asked without looking up from his notes.

“Ermm, poison Ivy, poison oak… uh I think parts of rhubarb, and most wild berries. I am not sure other than that.” Wilbur nodded while adding bits to his notes.

“What was the place you lived like?” This time Wilbur glanced up to look at Tommy. This was again another touchy subject… How many times would this alien bitch get into the sad background?

“Shitty.” Tommy snapped. That was the only response the bitch was gonna get.

“Right.. Do you have music on Earth?”

Tommy scoffed, “Of course we have music, dumbass!”

“Can you tell me about the animals there?” Wilbur asked, almost hopeful.. which was weird. What was he hoping for?

“Erm I guess..” Tommy mumbled, trying to figure out where to start, “There’s a bunch of animals. Mainly on land. My favorite would be the cow.”

“What’s that?” Curiosity stained Wilbur’s face. This got Tommy excited; he was practically beaming as he started talking.

“Well they are these big ruminants that make milk and have horns. There are a bunch of types too like the highland cow, which obviously is the most poggers one. They are a Scottish breed with really long hair. I met one once, on a field trip his name was Henry.” Tommy rambled on for the next two and a half hours, jumping from topic to topic and explaining anything that wasn’t personal. He usually ended those paths with short insults.

——————

Wilbur hated to stop the kids' detailed story, but two and a half celestial hours had already passed, and Dream would be coming to check soon. Luckily, he had a couple new poisons that could pass off as a research development. He had even managed to send the distressed signal and no doubt Phil would already be there with the SBI craft ready to fly at any given moment.

“Alright Tommy.” His voice dropped to a serious tone causing the kid to stop his story of how he got poisoned by mushrooms on a camping trip. “You’re gonna have to trust me just for a bit. I am going to get you off the ship at the next stop but in the meantime I need you to tell me how allergic you’re to nuts.” The kid immediately tensed at the question.

“I am mainly allergic to tree nuts.. almonds being the worst. After a few minutes I can’t breathe properly and I usually pass out. The doctor said if I don’t get it treated within 15 minutes, death is most likely.” He took a moment to go through the information. The kid most likely has an anaphylaxis reaction to tree nuts. Meaning either he would have to know the exact time of landing and exactly where Phil was or he needed another poison that was less severe.

“Alright, here is what we’re gonna do. I have a chemical mixture that is similar to that of rattlesnake venom. I also have a chemical substance that numbs any pain you may feel. Side effects would include being very very tired and delirious over the next few days. Along with being knocked out for a good ten hours. To put it simply I am gonna fake poison you, in order to get you off the ship. It’s your choice if you’re willing to do it.” Wilbur paused to study the kid still restrained in front of him. It was odd how relaxed the kid seemed to be in a situation like this. He had no urge as far as Wilbur was aware, to fight against anything that happened. His complaints only being those that touched on personal matters. It was unsettling to say the least, and intrigued Wilbur. He really wanted to unravel the life the kid had lived before this and how he was actually dealing with the situation.

There was a long pause before the kid spoke, “I wouldn’t mind getting away from the weird smiley bitch.. plus you seem nice and to know what you’re doing so sure. Poison me bitch.” He said the last sentence with an enthusiasm Wilbur wasn’t expecting. He took a moment to rethink his plan, which was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Dream says you better have advanced in your stupid testing. Otherwise he’s gonna kick you off the ship at the next stop.” Stated the rather rude blazeling, Sapnap. The blazeling never liked Wilbur and made a point to argue against any advancements at meals. That led to Dream installing a new system of emails and Wilbur eating meals alone.

“Yea yea, it’s going!” He yelled through the metal door.

“Better be.” The blazeling snapped before making a non quiet track back to his quarters.

“Stupid blazeling.” Wilbur grumbled as he sorted through vials and picked up new needles and measured out the substances. “We are going to start with the anesthetic then move onto the poison.” He softly addressed Tommy.

Wilbur swiftly disinfected Tommy’s shoulder and gave the needle. He then gave the second needle. Immediately Tommy slumped over. Wilbur swiftly took off Tommy’s restraints and moved him on to the patient bed in the back corner of the room. After the transfer was done he clipped the body restraints around Tommy and waited for the alert signaling landing.

After about five minutes the light next to the door turned blue. He moved over to his seat and clipped on the safety belts. The light turned green and the ship shook momentarily before a thud could be felt. Quickly as Wilbur could, he emptied the needles into the waste bin and waited for his soon-to-be-ex-boss to arrive.

Dream stepped through the door and glanced around the room before heading to Wilbur for his report.

“Report.” The dreamon commanded.

“The subject's body would have gone through a painfully slow death and have multiple organ failures if I did not intervene. The chemical mixes used created a conflict in the patient’s body which resulted in the patient falling into exhaustion as they recovered.” He responded in a monotone tone. Dream looked over Tommy. He flinched back in disgust as Tommy grunted in his sleep.

“Is that all?” The dreamon questioned.

“No.” Wilbur swallowed down his panic, “This is the last testing I will be doing with this crew.” The dreamon scoffed.

“I am assuming you’re getting off at this planet?” Dream spit. Wilbur knew he absolutely hated when people left his crew as he saw it as a direct violation of his loyalty.

“Yes.” The phantom stated, keeping his even tone apparent. With that Dream stormed out cursing in Siestian. Somewhere in the mess of words he told Wilbur to get his things.

Without hesitation he grabbed his bag from his quarters, which was held in a small room that branches off the lab. He half sprinted down the short hallway and straight to the bed Tommy was on. He swiftly unrestrained the human and sat him up. He slipped on boots and gloves then tied a cloak around the kid. He pulled the hood up and carried him off of the closest exit. There were faint yells from Dream down the hallway and reassurances from the only two beings that put up with him. And with that Wilbur was off to find the only craft he had ever called home. The SBI ship.

——————

Chapter 2- End

Words~ 1774

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End Notes: ‘‘twas to lazy to reread... sorry for minor mistakes. Also suggestions are always appreciated!! Please reblog...

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Chapter 3:

——————

Wilbur:

[alittlewhump]

Unbidden - Act 3, chapter 7

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Content warnings: None

Blaise walked in on Morgan after the worst of it had passed, but before he was ready to open his eyes or move. He groaned a protest as she checked his pulse. Her fingers felt hot against his skin. She was repeating his name, he realized.

"Morgan. Morgan. Come on, say something if you're all right."

He tried. His mouth made a couple of syllables but they were incoherent and nearly formless, not the words he'd been aiming for. He took a deeper breath and tried again, producing something not entirely unlike "all right". Close enough.

"What the fuck, Morgan?" Her tone of voice was hard to identify. He forced his eyes open a little. Her tone of face was also hard to identify. Partly relieved, partly annoyed, partly something else. "What the hell are you doing out here? Why didn't you let me know where you were? What are -" There was a clinking as she picked up the bottles. "Are you getting high? Tell me you have a better explanation than that," she said, disgust colouring her voice.

Morgan took another deep breath and pushed himself up into a seated position. He lurched sideways - the golem hadn't responded to his command properly. Wait, no, he hadn't commanded it properly. It was a golem, after all; moving them was not the same as moving his body. That was going to take some getting used to.

"You're going to have to start talking soon. I know it's not easy here, gods know I hate this fucking jungle and everything in it, but this is not an acceptable way to deal-"

"I'm not..." He winced. The pounding of his head intensified when he spoke. He tried to keep his voice low. "... doing that."

"You know I'd love to believe you, but the evidence is all pointing to you doing exactly that. Akarat's beard, Devak is useless after just one of these things and you're half his size. Why the fuck are you alone out here getting knocked off your ass on Alkor's concoctions? No, wait, let me guess - is it for the Balance?" Morgan closed his eyes. The revulsion in Blaise's voice was punishment enough; he wished she didn't have to be shouting, too.

"Yes, actually." As the words exited his mouth, it occurred to him that it was probably not the wisest choice of responses. At least it bought him a few precious moments of silence to gather his thoughts. Blaise was gaping at him open-mouthed when he risked looking at her again.

"You have ten seconds to explain yourself before I fucking lose it," she finally snarled.

"I came out here alone because I needed to focus. I took those potions because I needed the power."

"For what, exactly?"

"To fix this." The golem arm lifted on command this time.

"Fix what?"

Oh, she thought he was gesturing with that arm. His sleeve had fallen down to cover it. He pushed the fabric back up with his other hand, revealing the improved limb. The flesh was smoother than it had been, the valleys of its many scars filled in with new tissue. It was not quite the same colour as the rest of his body, strangely ashen now. It was pleasing to see it was no longer blackened as it had been. Possibly a side effect of integrating such a comparatively large item.

"This arm. It's a golem now."

"What? Really? You can do that? Holy-" She started to reach out, then stopped herself. "Hang on. Is that what Ormus got so upset with you about?"

Morgan wouldn't have characterized it as upset, exactly. The mage had expressed his reservations at length, though, and with some volume at times. He'd just wanted to draw upon the other man's experience, which apparently had included being an observer to some unfortunate experimentation with carnomancy. It had been an informative lecture.

"I considered his concerns." He could tell by the twist of her mouth that he'd chosen the wrong thing to say. "The benefits outweighed the risks," he explained. It didn't seem to help.

"Outweighed - how?" Morgan grimaced as the pitch and volume of her voice rose, stabbing a spike of pain behind his eyes. That particular turn of phrase only had one meaning. So she wanted more explanation, but clearly she didn't want to listen to it at the moment.

"Why are you so angry," he said quietly, pressing his hand to his eyes. Maybe if he just kept his voice low, she would follow suit. "I'm just trying to -"

"Why am - this is dangerous, Morgan!" She had not followed suit. She was just getting louder. "Out here, on your own, fucking - experimenting on yourself. You don't even have a sentry to keep watch. Did you forget about the jungle full of things that want to kill us? You could have died out here!"

That hit him just the wrong way. His head was throbbing, every inch of him was uncomfortable, and he couldn't muster up the energy to figure out how he was supposed to respond. Not when anything he could say was going to be wrong. "What does it matter," he hissed instead.

"It matters because you're my friend, you asshole!"

That snapped his eyes open. "What?"

Blaise turned away, throwing her hands in the air. "You're being an ass! I'm not going to apologize for saying it, honestly there's a lot worse I could think of to call you right now. We have an important job to do, you can't just take a big risk like this without - don't make that face, I said I'm not apologizing."

The rudeness wasn't the part he was having difficulty with. She could be upset for a lot of reasons, they didn't always make sense to him. It was something else that had brought his thought processes grinding to an abrupt halt.

"... I'm your friend?"

"Don't try to change the subject, of course you are, why wouldn't... wait, really? Seriously? Of course seriously, you're always serious. You honestly... all right, so why do you think I'm here in this horrible jungle in the first place?"

"Because an angel told us to come here."

"All right, yeah, that's true. But why was I in that tomb with you when we met the angel?"

"Because Jerhyn agreed you should pursue Baal, to cut off the demonic attacks at their source." He pulled at the hem of his shirt. It was better than it had been earlier, but it was still a discomfort. This reiteration of past events wasn't answering any of the questions he suddenly found himself with, either. At least Blaise's anger seemed to be fading.

"That's also true, but it's not the whole - all right, this isn't working. Look, of course we're friends. We've been friends ever since you buried - reburied - our old commander, at the Sisterhood." Morgan watched in confusion as she seated herself in front of him. It was possible she'd taken the portal lesson as a token of friendship, but... no, that didn't line up with the rest of the evidence.

"You said - after that, after Andariel - you said you didn't like me. Friends are people you like."

"Did I say that? I don't remember... but," she continued quickly, "there's a lot I don't remember. Sometimes I say things I don't really mean. Especially if I'm upset. I just say whatever pops into my mind, and it isn't always true."

"You also hit me several times."

Blaise grimaced. "I did, didn't I? But I apologized for it, I remember that much. I'm - do you really - all this time we've been travelling together, do you still think we aren't friends? That nothing changed? That I don't even like you? Even after everything that happened in the desert?"

"You're a good person," Morgan reminded her. "And you can be kind to someone even if you don't like them. I... yes, I assumed nothing had changed." He kept tugging at the rough threads of his shirt. "You never said anything to the contrary," he added. Between the confusion and the discomfort, he almost wished he could crawl right out of his skin like a moulting lizard.

"You idiot. Look at me." He did, nervously. She was looking into his eyes, eyebrows slightly raised, intense in her focus. No longer visibly angry, which was a positive. "Listen, I really mean this. You're my friend, Morgan. I like you, I like having you around. I think you're a good person too. I care about you, I care about what happens to you, and that's why I'm upset right now. I thought you were dead for a minute there. I know it's somehow not a big deal for you, but I care if you live or die. So talk to me next time before you do something big like this, all right?"

He had no idea how to respond. All he had were questions, mainly why? Why in all of creation would someone like her decide to choose him as a friend? Friends were supposed to be equals, in his understanding, and he was so much less than her in every measurable way. It didn't make any sense. But he would have to grapple his way through that baffling puzzle later. Right now she was looking expectantly at him, waiting for an answer.

"All right," he said. "I'll try."

"You'd better," Blaise said, holding his gaze for a long second. "Now what made you decide to... go through with this? I don't understand a whole lot of what Ormus says on a good day, but he seemed to think it was a really bad idea. And I know your arm was in rough shape, but I thought you had that under control."

At least Morgan had an answer ready for that question. He'd debated it for long enough to reach a concise conclusion. "Andariel left me crippled. Duriel was quick to see that weakness, and we are searching for much stronger demons than him. When I found a way to lessen the damage, I thought it wisest to take it. I do not wish to face a Prime Evil with an obvious vulnerability."

"All right, that's fair enough. I get it. Now, enlighten me. What would have happened if this... process didn't work?"

He looked down at his hands. Why did she have to ask that? Based on the conversation they'd just had, she wasn't going to like the answer, no matter how he put it. "It did work," he tried, turning the golem back and forth in demonstration, flexing its fingers.

"That's not what I asked." There was an edge to Blaise's voice, and Morgan fought the urge to flinch away. "You said the benefits outweighed the risks. I want to know what the risks were."

"I was very careful. Even after I found the dagger, I spent days and days thinking about it before I tried anything."

"Stop dancing around the answer."

"None of the ways it could have gone wrong were very likely to happen. I planned for that."

"Likely or not, what would have happened?"

He sighed. He knew he'd never win this battle of wills with her. "Bodies are complicated systems. Any mistakes could have been fatal."

"Morgan-"

"I didn't realize it would upset you," he hastened to add. "I wasn't trying to make you angry. I just wanted to be stronger, to be able to help you. To help keep the Balance," he added. His priorities were a little confused, between his duty and Blaise and the angel's entreaty, but they all pointed in the same direction at the moment.

Blaise pinched the bridge of her nose. "That's really not what I - all right, ignoring the rest of the problems with that for now, you can't help anything by being dead."

"I'm not dead," he pointed out.

"And I want you to stay that way, understand?" He nodded. It wasn't something he could promise, and he still didn't really feel like he'd grasped why she would want that, but the fact of her wishes was clear enough. She seemed mollified for the moment, giving in to curiosity instead.

"Now tell me about this," she demanded, pointing at the golem. "Was it hard? It must have been hard. You hardly ever use potions. What does it feel like? Did it hurt? Can I touch it? Why did you mention a dagger earlier?"

He held it out for her to examine. "I had to use an enchanted item to fortify it. Like I do sometimes with the clay golems. It was a dagger. The process was more complicated than I expected. It took a lot of energy, and there are some things I still want to try. But the side effects of Alkor's potions are stronger than I'm used to, and I don't want to take any more of them. So I'll have to wait."

She lifted his wrist, running one hand up to his elbow. "That feels so weird," she breathed, but it didn't stop her from repeating the gesture. "It's not quite like regular skin. Can you feel this?"

"Sort of." He actually hadn't given much thought to input like touch. It was nice that it didn't hurt like it had before, and that was as far as he'd considered it. The ache at the connection point was almost ignorable, minor in comparison. He did feel something, but it was hard to tell if it was actually from the physical contact, or if it he just thought he felt it because he could see it happening.

He asked the golem to relay a sense of touch and regretted it instantly. It gave him too much, and not the way he'd hoped - not enough focus on the outside, but a very clear sense of the softly pulsating pressure on each of the individual tendrils buried in the living flesh. It also drew more power from him to accomplish that, which was another new and uncomfortable sensation. He shut his eyes and told it to stop.

Blaise pulled back. "Sorry, was that too much?"

Morgan shook his head. "It's not that, it's not you." He took a steadying breath. "I was just trying something. I should have waited." He squinted up at the specks of light filtering into the building through the thick jungle canopy. "The plan was to rest for another hour or two."

"I guess I blew that, huh?"

"Yes. But I'm glad you came. You don't have to wait with me," he added after a moment's thought.

"Nah, it's nice enough in here. Good spot." She leaned back, propping herself up on her elbows. "I'm glad you finally figured out how to take a break."

"What do you mean?" Of course he knew how to take a break. Everyone knew how to rest, it was a simple matter of not doing anything.

"I mean it's good that you're taking the time you need to recover now. You know, instead of pushing yourself until you can barely walk." She gave him a pointed look. "Like in the desert, when we were looking for the Horadric cube."

"Oh." He had run himself ragged for that. But it had been worth it in the end. It had been essential to get them as far as they were now. Which was, upon reflection, still trailing behind the Prime Evils. It was difficult to know just how far behind they were. Tyrael had told them to hurry, he recalled with a jolt. It was slow going through the cursed jungle. This endeavour had only cost a few hours, but the nagging tug of urgency was starting to pull again.

Morgan took stock of himself. He'd planned to recuperate, but how much did he really need to? The shaking had stopped, his heart rate had returned to normal. He was feeling more than a little drained, though, and his head still ached painfully. "I'm nearly rested enough to start moving," he offered. "There haven't been as many demons down along the river, we could-"

"Don't even fucking think about it," Blaise said cheerfully. "I take it back. When normal, sane people say they're rested, they mean they feel good and they're actually ready to go. When you say it, you just mean you don't think you'll collapse right away. Do you understand the difference there?"

"The difference is that I know my limits," Morgan replied. That was necessary for a priest of Rathma, the ability to gauge oneself accurately, to be able to do the maximum amount of work without walking unnecessarily into death's embrace.

"The difference is that you seem to think your limit is dying!"

"Of course. Don't you?"

"Well, obviously that's a limit for everyone, don't get sarcastic with me."

"I'm not."

Blaise stared at him for a second. "No," she agreed, "you're not. You just... you're missing the point."

"What is the point?"

"Well, you wouldn't ask me to go out hunting demons the next day after being-" She cut herself off abruptly, looking away. "Right after getting seriously injured," she finished, "would you?"

"Of course not."

"But you don't treat yourself the same way."

"No," he agreed. "That's different."

"It shouldn't be different. Why is it different?"

"My duty is more important than my comfort."

Blaise rolled her eyes. "Ugh, your duty. Is it more important than your life?"

"Yes."

"No, it isn't!"

"Of course it is. Long ago, Rathma created our order with the sacred charge to maintain the Balance of the Great Cycle of Being. If it slips too far to the Darkness, the Chaos, humanity suffers. If it slips too far to the Light, the Order, humanity stagnates. Humankind can only progress if the Balance is even. We dedicate our whole selves to keeping the Balance. A single life or death is nothing to the Cycle. Death comes to all living things. And if there comes a time when my death would serve better than my life, I will gladly choose death. That is our way."

Blaise was silent for a time. "You know," she said eventually, "the more I learn about your Order, the less I think I like it."

Despite himself, Morgan's heart sank. The Order was a central part of him as much as he was part of it. If she didn't like it, it logically followed that she didn't actually like him either. That must have been a misunderstanding on his part. He often had trouble with people's intentions. She really just liked having him around, as she'd said - he'd been making himself useful enough for that, at least. That was fine. It was better that way, really. More familiar, easier to understand.

"You're more than just a tool for the Balance, Morgan," Blaise continued. Your life has value on its own."

"No, I - we don't... that's for other people," he said, taken aback. That was not at all what he'd been expecting to come next. And it was wrong. A kind sentiment, to be sure, but still wrong.

"Why can't it be for you?"

It was Morgan's turn to think quietly for a while. The relentless pounding of his head was making it hard to concentrate. Of course there was a reason, but the words to explain it wouldn't present themselves. Priests of Rathma had to hold themselves to a different standard than other people. They were selected to do important work, and in doing so, they shed the conceit of personal importance in favour of the truth. They stepped outside the normal systems of value and worth, for it would be impossible to measure anything accurately from the inside of that sphere. It had to be that way. It was important. There was value in it, a different sort than the value Blaise thought she saw in him.

That was a large and unruly concept, one that threatened to overwhelm the emotional control he'd managed to rebuild. She saw value in him. Not for his work, just for his... self. How strange, how wrong, how tempting. How good that might feel, if he let it. To be worth something in someone else's eyes. A long-buried part of him wanted that, much more strongly than he would have guessed. That part warred with his sense of duty, his obligation to the Order.

He didn't need validation, didn't need to prove himself to anyone any more - he'd been deemed adequate to take on a task for the betterment of humanity, and that was enough. He didn't need friends. That was a want, not a need, and a want that should have been overcome long ago. Personal relationships weren't forbidden per se, but they were dangerous in that they could lead to an erosion of objectivity. But if he could be very, very careful, that hopeful part of him suggested, maybe he could manage it. Maybe he could earn this. The possibility left him feeling strangely, pleasantly light.

"Well?"

Morgan blinked hard to refocus himself. "I don't have an answer for you," he admitted. Strangely, Blaise seemed to be satisfied with that response.

"Well, keep thinking about it. We aren't going anywhere for a while. You just... rebuilt your whole arm. Fuck, that's amazing. Take your damn time recovering."