#working hard ain't worth it lol

[monkey-wrench-series]

It's serious discussion time!

Seeing how the next ep of Monkey is 29 minutes long, will cost upwards of $75k (money I don't have), will take around 2 years AND seeing how poorly the previous ep has done I'm very much considering going a polished motion comic route.

It sucks, but my ambition for this series VASTLY outweighs my resources, and I'm not gonna lie, seeing how little attention it gets after pouring so much money, time and effort into it has led me recently into some seriously bad depression.

I think going the polished motion comic route would be best because; 1) I just don't have the money 2) It'll come out much faster 3) It's much more reasonable for my budget 4) I don't want to end up killing myself for this lol.

We'll still have voices, sound and music, just things'll be a bit animatic / comic book looking. Think that apirl fools vid but nicer looking~

and at the end of the day I just want to tell this damn story. If budget allows I could animate fights and what not, but for my physical and mental well being I think it best to go this way. If you guys have any inputs or thoughts about this, feel free to leave a reply.

[kradeelav]

i haven't done proper dead dove art in a while, but heads up there's a chunk coming in the next year across various fandoms ~ explicit images will be limited to a preview here with a link elsewhere, but there'll be a mix of incest, underage, gunplay, dub&noncon, and more of the nazine anthology.

as always, consider this a 'choose not to warn' space.

[citrine-elephant]

via 'mobile art notes' :

leon "sea turtle" kennedy. strangled by that funky cellophane shit used in warehouses

[olivianyx]

A FEW UPDATES ON MY JOURNEY 🎀

Sooooo there's still more I've manifested!

🎀 money, money, money, must be funny in a rich mans world~ lmaoo just more and more money everyday!

🎀 I stopped listening to subliminals for a while and I saw major results like my hair growing over an inch, my lashes getting longer and prettier, my weight going down, and I grew an inch again y'all 😭 I'm 173cm rn 😩 I wanna be tall as my boyfriend gojo hehe 🦋🦋 but not exactly tall as him but a lil shorter lol then I can't wear heels 😭 or my boy be looking like my son instead of my bf lmaoo

🎀 minimalist skincare products!

🎀 my skin tone lightening up a bit 🍃 like I didn't notice it until my family members and peers complimented me.

🎀 my grades going high again!

🎀 okay this one's a bit personal, but lemme get this straight. I mentioned in my last success story post that I got closer to crush... When in fact I wasn't even in love with her 😭 that was just admiration, not love. I realised my worth, and I stopped putting efforts, now the ship has sunk. She isn't bothered anymore, and me too since I was the only one obsessed. No offence but she wasn't worth my time. So I decided to spend it on satoru instead 🎀🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

🎀 my parents becoming more lenient nowadays 🙌

🎀 I've been getting more free foods and snacks! People love to hang out more with me! 🤍

🎀 my singing skills improving! I wanted to sound like lana, it's not exactly like hers but I'm getting there!

🎀 there's still more I'm just lazy to type lol

MY RESPAWN JOURNEY

So I haven't yet respawned yet since I'm too attached to this reality. I'm still scripting a custom dr that I wanna respawn and also my jjk dr too. So when I finish (idk myself when I'm gonna finish lol) I will surely respawn.

But don't worry! This account will be run by another consciousness that I replace. I know I manifested stuffs here, I enjoy and all, but deep deep down I realised that I never wanna be here. I belong to the lands somewhere far away, not in this city 😭 I'm just too attached to this reality that's making me feel guilty to leave.

I'm working on it tho. I mean I deserve everything, why would I feel guilty for having what I want, right? I've encountered the worst traumas and situations here, yet something inside me is telling me not to leave this reality, while also feeling that I don't deserve to be here, and somewhere better where I have everything I want.

I remember bawling my eyes out cus I don't wanna be here anymore, yet feeling guilty to leave. Everyone has a journey, so do I. I know this ain't gonna be longer and ik it's already done, I'll respawn once my script is done. Keeping this in my mind, I'm spending my last few days here being happy and I'm doing everything I want so I don't feel something irrelevant while I leave. I wanna leave this place in peace.

With that being said, y'all deserve everything too! Don't hold yourself back, sometimes the ego holds us back, but don't let it take control and keep going! You're the God of your reality. So why not take that chance and stop being lazy? I mean it's the life of your dreams and some of y'all aren't even putting 0.000000001% effort? It's not the physical effort but the mental work, everything is the mental work and you don't even need to lift a finger. I mean it's not that hard focusing on your 4d. I agree for some people that have mental health issues like adhd, aphantasia, anxiety, and all. Even I had them too! I had avpd, anxiety, low self esteem, depression, maladaptive daydreaming, and ptsd, but still I did it while staying with a toxic narcissistic family that cares only about themselves! They who were constantly nagging me every 5 mins, now are quiet and unbothered. Why? Because I changed the version of me who was thinking that they were toxic, and I assumed they were lenient, and now they are. Honey, it's not hard at all. You're making it hard for yourself. So just stop with the bullshit and go live your dream life!

- Olivia 🎀

[austinsastrology8991]

> Saturn ASPECTS < and why you ain't getting the respect you deserve Saturn puts you in shitty cycles/ patterns to make you; by breaking you > and when you inevitably return to these struggles, you'll realise you've mastered his circuits

yes i had break, im back now. so get over it.

Saturn aspecting Sun - loosen up. but everytime you do, something else fucks up. so now your the most rigid person. its hard to have a good time with yall, because you take things so seriously, but damn do you exceed when shit needs to be taken seriously - because your so careful in your movements 🚶‍♂️. they tend to have a habit of stating the obvious then smirking about it, which is so confusing because like we all knew that, but why you acting like you did something? this type of shit is why people struggle to chill around you, but ill ask for your advice about real shit because your obsessed with being an authority and like thats the only way to approach you guys without getting iced by you Saturn aspecting Moon - Stop crying. oh wait i meant to say; start crying. jesus you got some fucked up villainous back story but your stone walling everyone because it hurts too much to even open up to anyone. because i mean whats the point? if everyone is just going to tell you "its going to be okay" when you never feel okay. feels bad man, and you know better than most how bad feels.. man.. so i guess saturn wants you to accept how cruel the world is, and how that affects everyone, so you are more prepared for bad circumstances then most. hardly a positive spin, ik.. but its to prepare you for your future. and you have no idea why you must go through so much pain - but there is a reason, and it will become clear later, so better utilize that energy to your benefit; because its just another one of saturns bitch cycles

Saturn aspecting Mercury - when you speak, people try there best to one up you, but your a master at it by now > passive aggressive, or authoritative - who gives a fuck if you belittle the other person, because i mean if your right, then you right. so better off writing it into reality, rather than watch everyone clown around with the wrong answers. but speaking ths way to others, really does make it hard to talk to you, even if you right, your just a fkn asshole. so honestyl. stop trying to figure out the right answer, and think about whats the right thing to say. stop pretending to be an authoritative speaker if no one even wanna listen to you, and start owning what you say more. Saturn aspecting Venus - joecly flores on repeat. okay i get it. you dont believe in love, because you see it how it is. well. its not actually how it is. youve ruined all your chances of anyone ever gonna love you because you think being all cold and mysterious is attractive (and it can be) but i mean who tf wanna love someone like that. its like riding a bike uphill. i mean i dont wanna do that. like these people are always attractive, but their attitude is so hard to ignore, its like trynna make a spider smile. thats why people reject you more than anythng else. and Ik that your just trying to find the real ones, but guess what, everyone that ever talked to you/ flirted with you, liked you.... oh thats too shallow or optimistic? my bad Saturn aspecting Mars - I never do anythng right ;(((((( well you actually do a lot right, but your always doing too much. your so obssessed with perfection and being a high achever that you've forgotten everything you've achieved becayse your so focused on the next one. if you just reflected on how much you work; in comparison to most, youd realize you are big achiever, and you dont understand reality as well as you think. well okay you do undersatnd reality extremely well (because you try so damn hard lol) but you've lost your sense of self because you still dont think your worth it till you achieve the next thing- hence the cycle of working yo ass off - but hey you'll achieve a lot, you just need to perfect your perfectionistic tendencies -then youll finally be perfect! (get it) Saturn aspecting Jupiter - i think this aspect is one of the coldest. because these people try so hard, but get no where for the majority of their life. till they change perspectives and realize if they try harded else where, they'd get launched into success. i mean the amount of people who are successful - and i mean hugely successful > have this aspect - and everytime it was due to massive luck. however only they could grasp the 'lucky' opportunity, and that initself makes their achievements so much cooler than others. remember its jupiter, so all your 'hardships' inevitably become your greatest 'luck'. the white guy from 'sean of the dead' has this, and look at how much he impacted movies in general... jus saying mad props to that guy and to yall

Saturn aspecting Uranus - okay these guys are outcasted from society hard, due to some bullshit, but when they get recasted back into civilization they become someone who can change society at large- but its gonna take so much work... their perspective has been molded differently to most because they've been alone for so long. they have strange ideas that somehow work into tangible assets. perfect example : eminem - i mean hes basically best case scenario with this aspect, but hey why not try for best case scenario? but then again he made that hamster song... so i mean not always best case scenario... THats the price of neglect you could say lmao. Saturn aspecting Neptune - your imagination is your greatest challenge but also the key to your ultimate glory. like Michael Jordan had this aspect and well he was hella delusional. until he wasnt.... but its hard to say how much this benefited him... because both stages of his life - pre glory - and; glory - he was heavily isolated from everyone, and (likely) suffered in seclusion, by placing so much importance on his dreams. saturn wants you to master the 'spiritual world' i.e. imagination and dreams, and this causes anxiety that their dreams will just be dreams. which is what makes them put so much effort into it becoming real... then they realize the price of it all when its too late. so just make sure your aware of what your manifesting because if anyone can make it, its you. (achieving ur dreams) Saturn aspecting Pluto - how powerless do you feel. you do realize people can see how thirsty you are for respect/power, because they can sense your insecurity from past exepriences, and thats why your easy to play with. but do not worry. you will attain true power with enough effort. not just a bullshit image of power. because you've been pushed into the most vile trials to have ever have existed, and its only so that when you become someone powerful, you utilize your power properly, and do not step on others, because you know damn well how much it hurts to be stepped on. so your power is > saturn. your trials are so intense, and you're basically broken, but things that are broken know how to cut others (like broken glass). and well saturn wants you to master this > pluto > the darkness. and it makes reaching the top so much more palpable, because you'd feel like you earnt it. but you can make others insecure about what youve overcame so you better be humble, or saturn will fuck you. no honour among thieves, and we know you experienced that, but the kings play different, and you gotta adapt or saturn will flatten you.

[azulock]

Hi!! I love your hcs and the way you capture the characters! Like the thing about kaiser with the tattoos (it reminded me that I actually have a rose tattoo on the back of my neck hahaha), or how Reo would definitely be a good boyfriend (just needs lots of reassurance and therapy..). Please can you do nsfw hcs for Reo?

Aaaaaaaawwww thank you nonnie I try my best to capture the characters <3 I'm a believer that Reo can recover his sanity with some love, a little therapy and getting away from Nagi, you can do better king. Also the tattoo thing, if that ain't the experience of having a tattoo where you can't see, I forget the one on my back all the time lol tho, a rose on your neck, yeah Kaiser would be very much into that. Anyway, here you go

reo mikage nsfw headcanons

⟳ A pleasure dom, a service dom, a man who can't sub cause he feels he needs to offer something to people to have any worth. The chance of making him sub isn't zero but it's pretty close. He likes to give pleasure more than anything, it helps fill his ego too when he sees you squirming and moaning because of him.

⟳ Praise kink, praise kink all the way. Will be praising you for anything and nothing at all. It delves into body worship too. He might be in control but he will be worshipping you all over. He won't ask for it in return but he'll fucking love it if you do, it's gonna make him feel fantastic.

⟳ Not very vocal, a bit shy about his own noises, but he still makes them, they are just low, he gets a bit louder when he gets close to orgasm tho. Besides he wants to focus on hearing your noises, so he will love it if you are very vocal. If you aren't don't worry, he might tease you a bit for being shy but he'll just take it as a reason to work extra hard to make you make more noises.

⟳ Loooooves getting marks on himself - prefers it if they aren't in very visible spots but he can deal with it. Oh please, bite him, scratch him, leave hickeys on his skin, anything. He looks at the marks like a trophy, a symbol that he did his job well. He's gonna leave some marks on you too but only on places that can't be see by others that easily, and not that many. Tho, if he knows you like marks too he's gonna leave more.

⟳ A guy with no rush, sure he can go multiple rounds if he ends up going fast, but he'd rather go for a slower and longer one. Likes to take his time to feel you entirely and to pleasure you completely. He wants to fuck you so right that your brain just resets - if you are the smart and capable type, he's gonna try to fuck you dumb, cause he knows it's tiring to be the smart one all the time and you can relax with him.

⟳ Likes giving oral more than receiving, to the point where he can forget himself - but please don't forget him, he deserves the pleasure. Will be praising you the whole time if you go down on him, that's probably the thing that would make him the most vocal. It's the best way to get him moaning and grunting and generally making sounds that are louder.

⟳ Likes intimacy, likes to see your face or to feel your body touching his, he just needs to feel you close, to feel you there with him. For that reason he loves cockwarming, having you that close to him is already blissful, don't even need to move. Loves to do it while you are watching a movie or lazying in bed together.

⟳ Reo is long, not the thickest - just thick enough to feel good but def long. It has a big curve up and it's thickest at the base. He is veiny tho, with a very thick vein on the underneath of his shaft. Also, he keeps himself shaved nice and clean.

[sashasspace]

Blind dating adventures 📱❤️‍🔥

This is all in Princess’ POV 🎀

Princess is a baker living in Newcrest and she’s on a blind dating app sharing her experience while comparing her dates to baking experiences!

1. Terrance Dreamer 💊

Blind Date 7/10

After going on my date, my bestie told me he’s a kleptomaniac, a crimelord and works for basemental, but the chemistry was there and he charmed me until he stole from a kid during our date and his girlfriend/baby mama is my co-worker… and this is my first experience on this blind dating app🫣. He’s like an old cake that still tastes good, but after you ate it, you’re wondering if it was worth it…

2. Gunther Munch📝

Blind date 2/10

Felt like I was hanging with a friend. He barely talked about anything outside of writing and kept staring at me… I cut the date short, but he wanted a second chance, and I gave it to him.. spoiler alert he tried to act like he lived in a mansion🌚. It’s like biting into a Boston cream donut and there’s mustard in it… terrible!

3. Devan Lee 🩺

Blind date 10/10

Maybe because lives down the hall, but it was so much easier being on this date. This was the first date I had shared kiss with a sim I met from this app. It was great and Devan felt like a good friend too, but with an added romance. I am crushing so hard just writing this🤤… it’s like baking cinnamon rolls, he’s comfort, warm and consistent.

4. Mark Eggleston 🎨

Blind date 1/10

I wasn’t able to give Mark a full chance because my estranged father crashed the date, but I found out he got a girl pregnant a day after we went on the date, so he’s like a plain muffin… forgettable

5. Krishna 🥣

Blind Date 0/10

If I can rate it lower, I would. It was my first time in Del Sol Valley. I was swiping and I thought he was relatable because we were both out of town, but we went from arguing, dancing and kissing. It was confusing. Maybe it's time I do traditional dating because blind dating apps ain't it either LOL! He’s like a fish pie… just wrong!

6. Kiet Preedee ♟️

Blind date 10/10

After taking some time off from blind dating, I’m back again LOL (don't judge). Kiet is mature, but he’s also really immature with the corny cringe jokes. However, he makes me feel things… things I’m not fully sure I understand either. It gets weirder because we woohoo’d after our first date which got me pregnant 🫣. Kiet reminds me of a Black Forest cake, yummy, a lil tart (cringe), but so hearty and full of surprise.

7. Brendan Choi 📉

Blind Date 0/10

I needed something fun and Brendan caught my eye, but the date went so awful. I thought because we kinda knew each other, it wouldn’t be so awkward…. Let’s say the worst possible thing a date can do he did…. If you thought woohooing something else, you won a million simoleons 😵‍💫. It was like baking a soufflé, except you forgot to turn the oven on and well it's hours later… will it come out right?

If you want to watch Princess Ribbons’ life, click here!

[n03m1blog]

we have to start with lily and james alone because they are a sort of enemies to lovers trope

the man

Lily is simply the major girl boss because she is so sick of looking at men that lift up exaggeratedly themselves and she hates JAMES POTTER the most, between all the guys in hogwarts

and listening to his "fanclub" it's exhausting!!

also, Lily is a muggleborn so the fact that still today is remembered as one of the greatest witches

tells everything alone, she WORKED HARD

"When everyone believes ya

What's that like?"

"I'm so sick of running as fast as I can

Wondering if I'd get there quicker

If I was a man"

you need to calm down

James just thinks that she is such a loud lady AND he doesn't understand her like AT ALL

crazy lady... kinda attractive, but still

actually, he admires how stubborn she is in every argument so he is starting to let her win (that's what he said but we know that lily is just more determined)

"You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace

And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate"

i forgot that you existed

James starts to make advance to her, ha has eyes on ly for her

and Lily it's just there ignoring him because he is a jerk

"I forgot that you existed

I did, I did, I did

It isn't hate, it's just indifference

It isn't love, it isn't hate

It's just indifference"

death by a thousand cuts

James does not accept it and he KNOWS that one day she will his and he will make her lose her self-control

maybe, the others are right, not today

being a people pleaser and having feelings for someone that despises you it's hard yk?

"I get drunk, but it's not enough

'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby"

and james is just thinking about those last years coming out all together and how he thought that they were kinda of sharing something, but no lily is not into him, isn't she?

cruel summer

that summer by the sea, they spent the night together in a tend

everyone thought they were intimate but they are a slow burn guys

Lily was falling for him and it was a matter of time

how could she let it happen?!?!?!

JAMES?!?!!?

" And I screamed for whatever it's worth

"I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks up grinning like a devil "

" It's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa, oh

It's a cruel summer "

daylight

James can't control his heart at all, he is all hers

and he can see it now, she is AT LEAST seeing it too

"it's brighter now, now"

"i once belived that love would be burning red but it's golden"

the way the sun lights up his face, his body, his whole skin, his smile Lily is just staring the scene

\"i wanna be defined by the things that i love,

not the things i hate,

not the things that i'm afraid of,

not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night,

i just think that you are what you love"\

\and this is about how they see life the same way, i like to think that THIS is what they talked about in that tend all night long\

it's nice to have a friend

so they are starting as friends

"Wanna hang out?"

Yeah, sounds like fun

Twenty questions, we tell the truth

You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve

To touch my hand

Lily is telling herself "It's nice to have a friend" because it's insane thinking about MARRYING HIM lol

i think he knows

Lily fell.

"He got my heartbeat

Skipping down 16th Avenue

Got that, oh! I mean

Wanna see what's under that attitude"

"He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans

He's so obsessed with me, and boy I understand

Boy I understand"

James is all full of himself but she wants more, she is ready.

london boy

just little things about James told to us by Lily

"But something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

They say home is where the heart is

But that's not where mine lives"

SOMETHING HAPPENED!

me!

please, they are telling each other that they are soulmates.

James' "I know I tend to make it about me

I know you never get just what you see

But I will never bore you, baby"

to Lily's "And when we had that fight out in the rain

You ran after me and called my name

I never wanna see you walk away"

lover

these promises as they are getting married.

the song sings alone, they are both LOVER by taylor

miss americana & the heartbreak prince

they are a powerful couple in hogwarts you either hate them or envy them

you love them only if you know them

they are very bossy and they DO have a perfect attitude so if you are jealous of them it's understandable

and if you spread voices about them, you can't break THE couple.

she is a bad girl because every girl wants to be her and he is the heartbreak prince because he is would give everything for her <3

paper rings

James proposing in the best way possible

he would like to give her a BIG DIAMOND and a PERFECT MARRIAGE if she would just say so

or marry her rn!

such a romantic man our james

the archer

James has joined the order.

"combat, i'm ready for combat"

"I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?"

"They see right through me"

James is such a good and brave boy but is he really ready to give his life?

his dad would do it so he should

he is a potter

he has to protect everyone, so he should.

and now he is trying to explain the situation to Lily.

"Who could stay?

Who could stay?

Who could stay?

You could stay

You could stay

You"

and Lily would never leave James alone even if she is pregnant.

"Combat, I'm ready for combat" she said to him.

false god

the war gives only sadness and doubts.

they were both exhausted but they never stopped loving each other, even tough it was a hopeless situation

the prophecy said that their baby is in terrible danger, harry will be the one to destroy voldemort...

they are all in danger but they will defend their baby with their life if they'll have to.

afterglow

again, as i said, they were always so tense

they just love eachother SO MUCH and don't want to be apart...

"meet me in the afterglow"

= meet me in the afterlife

(i'm sorry, it is just fitted sooo well <3)

soon you'll get better

Lily's love saved Harry and this song is just her singing to her little baby that everything will get better

harry had always such a hard life because he is the chosen one

and Lily had never stopped protecting his child

cornelia street

Harry walking trough Godric's Hollow for the first time

but it was so traumatic staying there that christmas that maybe he will never go there again

it is so unfair that he has no memory of his parents because he was only one, so he is imagining a life with them, a life where he didn't lose them

p.s. we actually don't know so...

i hope you'll enjoy it

love,

noemi

[uninformedartist]

Hazbin/helluva fans are something else 🤣✋

Gonna be a bit petty here but I don't care lol

Dude why are you so pressed on people point out the obvious flaws in this clip, like you sound sad posting this and then...

🤭🤭🤭🤣 deleting the post promptly after people started cooking your ass on how childish this post was, shits funny man.

And also this:

Grow up point blank. Its twitter and people have the right to voice their opinions on a show that will cost money (think streaming is free, people's gonna pay to watch hazbin) and how it looks ain't worth the streaming costs, sorry. They keep with this excuse "Viv & crew worked so hard, ya'll just haters, why don't you like her stuff". Not gonna deny the efforts that went into HB, but if the finished product looks like this, I'm gonna say some. People shouldn't be guilt tripped like Alex is doing into liking & subsequent paying for the entertainment Viv puts out with the quality they showed in this teaster. And lastly I respect how far Viv has come, but fans want people to respect her as a person and I personally got zero respect for that woman after all the shit she's done.

[yesmissnyx]

Hi, I hope it's okay to DM. I'm looking for advice while getting into the kink lifestyle/self-realization.

I'm struggling to deal with internalized shame. It's the same old struggle, I'm guessing.

Figured out I'm bi and very, very kinky late last year, kind of all at once. Suddenly liking guys as well was easier to deal with. Realizing I'm into BDSM, hypno, crossdressing, and most of the kinks on your pinned list was... hard.

Some days, I can fully feel okay, and others I feel smothered in shame and depression, like I'm not supposed to want these things. I feel like I'm intruding into a space that I don't have the right to be in.

My question is, how do you recommend new kinksters/subs/etc deal with the question and internalized shame. Or specifically feeling positive about their kinks and the changes that happen as you realize them.

Sorry for a bit of a rant, and thanks in advance if you're willing to give me some advice.

Hey there! Sorry for the SUPER late advice! I hope you're feeling better in the meantime, but if not, I can do my best to offer you 1. some advice and 2. some words of encouragement.

First of all, HELL YEAH. Welcome to the Bisexual Kinkster Club--a club you now belong to because you are kinky and bisexual! Kink rocks! Being bisexual rocks! I am giving you a welcome basket myself.

(The lube tastes like strawberries.)

That being said though, I'm so sorry you're dealing with internalized shame around all of this :( Shame is a very personal thing and can be tricky to deal with, ESPECIALLY when parts of society are telling you the thing you like is wrong, just because they find it disgusting.

But...first of all, disgust-based morality ain't it, chief. It's a one-way ticket to being a miserable, hateful person with Main Character Syndrome and an easy target for fascism. Don't give into it! Don't listen to people who value their own disgust above the needs and happiness of others!

As long as what you are doing is not infringing on the personal rights of others, you deserve to do the things that make you happy. Full fucking stop. (And, newsflash, doing something that just happens to disgust someone is NOT infringing on their personal rights.)

Now, this might be controversial, but I'm going to let you in on a big realization that I had some time in my early 20s: shame is, in my humble opinion, a useless emotion to feel for any duration of time.

It makes you do things you don't want to do. It keeps you from doing things you DO want to do. It lies to you. It eats you alive.

More importantly, though, it's JUST an emotion, and like all emotions, its only job is to try to tell you something. Feeling emotions doesn't make you a good OR a bad person!

Of course, I'm not just telling you "lol just stop feeling things" because that's, like...not possible or healthy. BUT! You are not obligated to feel any emotion that you don't want to feel.

You might, however, want to interrogate the shame, because even if you aren't going to listen to its wishes (right???), it's worth understanding what it's trying to tell you.

So! What is the shame afraid of? What does it want to protect you from? What does it want you to do? Is what it wants you to do in line with your own goals and desires?

If you aren't in alignment with your shame, which I assume you aren't, then you can tell it that.

"I appreciate that you're trying to keep me safe, but I have no reason to be ashamed of the things I like, and I'm not going to let you stop me from enjoying them."

This might sound silly, but once you can speak frankly with your difficult emotions, it gets WAY easier to work through them. Viewing them as parts of yourself that just want to keep you safe is way easier than just dealing with nebulous shame, anger, anxiety, etc.!

And then, there's also the chance that it might be telling you something useful, once you start asking questions.

For example, if the shame is afraid that your friends might judge you, maybe you need to rethink how you navigate your friendships. If it's worried you might be going about a kink all wrong and you'll make a fool of yourself, do some research. If you're overwhelmed by the intensity of a new kink, explore it at your own pace and listen to your feelings about it with curiosity instead of judgment.

Remember: Action TOWARD a goal (in this case, pleasure and fulfillment) is always preferable to an action that AVOIDS negative feelings.

Enthusiasm and self-love are a better motivator than fear and shame. You deserve to be the best, happiest, more joyful version of yourself, and if that includes being a kinky crossdressing hypnotized bisexual, then so be it :)

Hopefully this all makes sense! And hopefully this helps you and others who might be in a similar boat.

Good luck on your journey and happy pride 🌈🏳‍🌈

(Also, please know that I'm always open to give advice. Ask me things. Let me live my know-it-all dreams 😜)

[carrot-felisidad]

VOTE FIRST BEFORE READING BELOW. REACH INTO YOUR HEART AND VOTE FOR WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!

Warning: I chose violence everyday and I'm your passive aggressive friend who cares for you.

I'm giving you White Head Ribbon because... My girl, my boy, my enby baby, my bothsie, treat this as a wake up call. You need restraint. You need to start creating a list of principles that you think would turn you into your dream self, and stop doing things based on short term pleasure. I know I can't stop you for most as you have ADHD and/or autism, but the more you cater to your short term whims, the more you hate yourself. You also need the silence and peace in the cloud recesses. You may not know it, but your soul has been craving for some alone time. Seclude yourself in Hanshi if you want, just let your soul rest for a while.

I'm giving you a clarity bell because... You've been empathizing with people for so long that I wish for you to get out of the muddy puddle that is other people's problem and get back to your own energy. My sad baby empath... it's okay to say no. You've been in the Empathy ritual for so long, and a lot of people have been telling you to get out of it, the friend that you have been empathizing with is long dead, just a walking corpse who only see you as a free therapist, nothing else. They don't even want to change. You need this bell, boo. Clang clang clang or whatever.

I'm giving you a Vermillion Mark because... I want you to be proud of yourself for once. Acknowledge your hard work and credentials, stop brushing them off as "only", because I need you to bag that promotion and/or RESPECT FROM EVERYBODY, as what you deserve. Oh, you think you're not actually that good? Your achievements are nothing?? Well, I want you to get over your imposter syndrome because Su She was out there creating his own sect by being a pretentious wannabe!!! He has no skills and is only a steve jobs fanatic! You?! You have real skills. Wear this vermillion mark and show them! Jin Ling was bullied all his life by mere nobodies but he knew from day one that he's the GOAT. And always remember that you have someone who will fight alongside you, who will break their legs if they hurt you.

I'm giving you a Fan with Paintings in it because... I want you to follow your dreams. You may be raised in a family or culture where you are assumed to follow a certain path. Be relentless that you are living your life. The point of life is to be enjoyed, not to be someone else's puppet, ain't no way! And don't worry about where your life will lead you. You are smart and scheming, you know your subject. You will lead a fruitful life wherever you go. Stop living your life to get someone else's validation. Actually do things that make you happy. You deserve a life worth living.

I'm giving you a Bamboo Flute because... You need to practice necromancy, lol. Use the dead for your own goals... Stop a war or plant some vegetbales... Haha i think, um, idk the agressiv spirit guide who was ghost writing through me just fled to get some pizza she ain't coming back haha. Research about shadow work (it's an actuall clinical thingy) and rise above the challenges. Come back with the coolest fashion statement. Stop being a people pleaser and start being an feared entity. OVERCOME YOUR MEASLY HUNAN CONDITIONS AND BECOME A DEMONIC CULTIVATIR! Wei Wuxian did not die and came back to life to orove nothing!

[raelyn-dreams]

Any headcanons of your favorite enstars characters? 👀💫

I do indeed nonnie! Though tbh, these are kind of full-cast headcanons lol. Tysm for the ask 😊

Mika is still upset he wasn't included in the Sanrio collab, and angrily sewed plushies the entire day it was announced.

During practice for Artistic Partisan, Hiiro was under the impression that the prop spears were much heavier than they actually were, leading to him accidentally slamming one through the wall (and nearly impaling Shu).

We don't talk enough about how Knights are given swords for their performances. Like who thought this was a good idea. Even if they are dull and fake, do you know how terrifying it is to have Ritsu Sakuma come at you with a sword and a maniacal grin? Kaoru Hakaze does.

Kuro was basically acting as a mediator for the entirety of the Yuukyou Seishunka cover rehearsals (while Mika and Souma prayed their unit leaders wouldn't kill each other). Keito and Shu came to feel kinda bad about this as they were winding down, so they begrudgingly worked together to make him a gi, as a thank you and apology. Keito never wants to hear the words "proper quilter's knot" again, but it was worth it for the smile on Kuro's face.

Hiiro and Hinata both have...shaky histories with high places (Hiiro in !! main story after Rinne disowns him, and Hinata during Setsubun). Niki doesn't know the details, but he notices after a while, so they start having rooftop hang-outs on occasion to help them with it.

I really like the Hiiro-Hinata-Niki dorm as a whole actually (which...Hiiro and Hinata are two of my favs, and Niki's up there, so that's to be expected lol). I see a lot of potential with the three, and I think they'd really get each other.

Ibara visited Kaname once. It was a stupid and sentimental thing to do, really, and he had work that needed to be done, lives to prepare for...but he couldn't help but feel he owed it to him, the near-silent apology that passed his lips that day.

Also, veering into AU territory a bit, but I think if Kaname were to wake up and eventually get back into the industry (after lots of rehab + accommodations), he'd keep the HiMERU name, but drop the "cool" persona he tried to associate with it. Life is too short to care so much about the public's perception of him, and I feel he'd go in the opposite direction of Tatsumi, and become even more outspoken, which would make him a good Crazy:B candidate.

OreMERU (our HiMERU) and Kaname are going to need to talk. A lot. I think Kaname wouldn't quite forgive him and would be upset about the identity theft, but he also can't bring himself to hate him, as he can see why he did it and knows it's for him. There's a lot of guilt and misunderstanding on both sides (ntm Tatsumi, Jun, and everyone else's reactions), but I think they eventually get through it alright, and OreMERU would always be Kaname's "Onii-chan".

OreMERU is also gonna have an identity crisis, and tries to quit Crazy:B, but of course Rinne, Niki, and Kohaku aren't gonna let him just dip like that. There's a lot of panicking, some bad hairstyle decisions, but he comes out alright, and starts going by another stage name that's important to him in some way.

I'm sorry about the excessive Tojo headcanons nonnie, I fully read Obbligato for the first time last week (just knew the basics before) and it wrecked me asdfghjkl.

Anyways. Back to everyone else.

As Mika gets used to Shu's more lenient personality, he tries to see how much gore he can get away with in Valkyrie's art.

Shu tries so hard to respect Mika's artistic vision and encourage him, he really does. But he draws the line at real pigs brains on-stage, even if they are in jars ("But Oshi-san, it represents the breakin' o' the mind after they tried so hard ta conform ta the expectations they put on 'em and ended up slaughtered! It's perfect symbolism, ain't it?")

Adonis makes money on the side for Undead by acting as an interpreter for other units during lives and Q&As. It ends up so popular and profitable that ES actually ends up investing money in professional interpreters for all events, because the ES heads can be kind of good people for once I guess. As a treat.

Rei, Ritsu, Niki, Tatsumi, Eichi, and Kaname (if he rejoins the industry) start having a combined monthly interview to make up for ones they miss due to illness/disability. The college kids/anyone that's been sick or couldn't make their own interviews occasionally join in too (usually Chiaki, Mayoi, Nazuna, Shu, Leo, and Izumi). Rei feels personally attacked sometimes, but its overall fun and way less stressful than trying to make every interview for their own units.

Kuro/Shu/Mao/Izumi dorm have sewing nights. It started because Kuro and Shu already sew, and Izumi wanted to be able to make his own alterations as a model just in case. Mao ended up joining in as a way to de-stress from student council work, and they have a relatively pleasant time together.

Souma is canonically good at embroidery, so I like to think he ends up creating his own sword scabbards for different Akatsuki costumes using the skills he's picked up from it. They're very pretty, and he's very proud of them.

[misc-obeyme]

I'M ALIVE (BARELY) !! Work is kicking my ass. Also, lots of things went wrong for me this morning, but they all worked out in the end ?? Like I forgot to set my alarm, had to bring my mom's phone to her job bc she forgot it, my bus ended up running late because the doors would get stuck at stops. But I woke up on time, caught the bus after taking the phone, and made it early to work because the bus forgot to take the detour? My luck is insane (thanks Mammon.)

ANYWAY, i can no longer contain my thoughts about Mammon x Solomon x Mc. I'm just imagining my mc and Solomon who are both very curious, and love messing around with potions at purgatory hall, and finding alternatives to rare ingredients. This has definitely gone wrong a bunch of times (most days without a potion incident: 4)

and I'm imagining Mammon tagging along bc he misses mc and is jealous that Sol is taking up their time, but denies all claims - "I'm assigned to protect ya, ain't I?" "From Solomon?" "W-Well, he's a shady sorcerer!"

He sits on the floor by mc's feet, and will fetch them things because he can't say no to them. But he spends so much time listening to them brainstorm, he starts learning and will chime in randomly. Mc and Sol who are stuck on what to add, Mammon drops something in there, and they're both horrified until they realize the potion is perfect now. He just has a little database in his mind of what to add to something, and rare ingredients that the two wish they could get their hands on.

Thinking about Mammon doing a favor for a witch and she tells him to pick anything in her collection since she's low on money. He was about to be angry when he saw an ingredient that they've both been complaining is rare and hard to find. He asks the witch for that and then brings it to the two. He acts all nonchalant about it, trying to brush it off. Mc tackles him, meanwhile Solomon is in awe and staring with a twinkle in his eye.

Now Mammon starts requesting trades with witches, for a lower portion of grimm. Gets ingredients he knows they dream about, because the way mc and sol will get all giddy after he presents them with his earnings makes his stomach flip (he will never admit this)

"This is missing something" Solomon

"Yeah but I can't figure out what" MC

"Have you tried *insert seemingly common ingredient that doesn't work for most things*" Mammon

"But no one uses that, it's why we're always stuck with it" MC

"Couldn't hurt to try. See, watch." Mammon.

"WAIT, MAMMON DON'T- ... IT WORKED!?" Mc/Sol

----

"MAMMON HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS, IT ONLY BLOOMS ONCE EVERY 100 YEARS" mc

"Dunno, got it from a random witch. Said she didn't need it. *spent two hours haggling with said witch*"

"...am I in love?" Solomon, reevaluating life

"Eh? What are ya mumbling about? If you're gonna thank me, I want it loud and clear!"

my crack ship <3 they mean everything to me. I caved and hunted down the plushies of them on ebay too. ALSO I GOT TWO OF MY COMMISSIONS BACK AND I'M 😭 they're perfect !!! I'm so so happy with them. Literally the lock screen is beautiful bc it's me and mammon cuddling (HIS MUSCLES CC!! IM DYING) and it looks like it was taken by like asmo or something who walked in to wake us up.

i think I'm also a hopeless romantic, I'm just scared of confronting my feelings lol (you're right in that it is worth it, I just need to figure out how to be brave </3). I throw myself into romance books and fanfics. Vaguely related, thinking about coffee shop au with barista!Mammon and college student!Solomon.

OKAY SORRY IM DONE RAMBLING 😭 HAVE A GOOD DAYYYY

- ✨ anon

Wow that does sound like a crazy morning!! I'm glad it all worked out, though~ Mammon is totally watching out for you!

OKAY but all of that sounds exactly like Mammon! I mean, he's super smart, he just doesn't usually bother to apply himself to anything. So it totally makes sense that he'd just pick up things because he's spending time with MC and Solomon. And then of course he's gonna end up seeing rare ingredients and being like, okay yeah I'm taking that. That all sounds absolutely adorable~

I'm curious about whether or not Solomon and Mammon would make a pact in this situation? I mean, if it's both of them and your MC that are in the relationship, do you think they would? Do you think Solomon would move past his obsession with getting a pact with Lucifer and end up in one with Mammon instead?

I always felt like Solomon doesn't really get Mammon, you know? But that doesn't mean he can't learn. And oh man, Solomon is such a tease and Mammon is so not good at being teased lol. That idea is giving me so many entertaining images, I can't even handle it.

Anyway, I'm totally here for it! It sounds really cute~

I'm so glad you're happy with your comms!!! They sound amazing!

And don't worry, you'll figure it out. I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you have plenty of time! It's a balancing act, you know? It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings without letting them control you. But it's easier to decide what to do about them if you know what they are. Anyway, not to get all philosophical over here lol. I think the key is to find someone you want to be brave for, you know?

AUGH I love coffee shop aus sooooooo much!!! I was very obsessed with the idea of barista!Mammon for a while, mostly because of a daily chat where he was working at a cafe and then got into a fight with customer. He's good at finances, so I think he could be pretty business minded if he wanted to be. So I was thinking about a situation where he owns his own cafe, but when the customers get rude with one of his fellow baristas, he gets into a fight with them lol. I hadn't really considered who that other barista was, but it could be MC.

Anyway, I could ramble about coffee shop aus all day because I love them aklsdlkfjdfjkl

I hope you have a lovely day/night, too!!

[bodycountgame]

The way I, and i think lots of others, would devour your Hozier essay like please spare us some crumbs i beg (also Vinh my beloved......when I say that song choice has ruined me.. your mind thank you)

hahaha okay this been so hotly requested but i am incapable of coherent thoughts so please enjoy these rambling thoughts that i jotted down in the notes app while on the bus!

i feel like there is more to be said but also bus journeys are finite so i'm just doing what i can with the time i have lol. what are your thoughts??? please share with the class i Know you have opinions and i wanna hear em!

adegoke: movement

so adegoke's character playlist actually has a different hozier song on it (from eden) which i always imagined to be more from MC's perspective. 

for adegoke, i love the idea of romance like the push and pull of the ocean currents, waves meeting and breaking, a rhythm. and movement just gives me that, i guess! adegoke is also a deeply creative person and movement really gives the vibe of the lover as an inspiration, a muse, which i think would be something that he would totally relate to. as a writer, love is at the core of his work - even when it isn't the subject it is what he finds grounding. 

adegoke also loves to dance (and is an excellent dancer) so that particular expression feels so appropriate. 

arthur: angel of small death and the codeine scene 

this one is quite literal, i guess - arthur is a mean little weasel and it can be a challenge to find the sweetness in him. i think arthur defaults to an "i can make them worse" approach to romance which i think this sort of speaks to.

also his family are terrible and he often feels like a bit of a stray, i think. 

atticus: NFWMB

this one has been pulled straight from his character playlist because its just So ???????? musically it just reminds me of him but i know nothing about music so i have no idea how to articulate it - the sort of unassuming and almost casual vibe contrasted with the utter devotion in the lyrics. the emotional intensity comes from the lack of fanfare, you know?

also like. atticus loves a hair pull, sort of sexy possessive vibes and a rhetorical question so the "ain't you my baby" really hits on that level as well lmaooo 

avery: it will come back

this is another one that is already on avery's character playlist hahaha what can i say i'm a hozier bitch!

this choice is really about avery's complicated relationship with softness and intimacy, especially in a romance with MC which is Forbidden when she places such an emphasis on her professionalism. the way that she partitions different parts of her life is something of a defense for her after her difficult experiences in medicine - she's learned the hard way, she knows better, and yet she just can't help herself. i always think of avery's romance as being like a dam bursting; there's nothing for a long time until a little crack forms and then the dam breaks and everything falls apart. once she has a taste she can't be satiated, which i think this song speaks to. 

charlie - sunlight

he just can't keep away, even knowing how totally disastrous it will probably be for him, but he continues on gladly because he thinks that being that close to the sun will feel worth it even after it's burned him. he's 'death trap clad happily'. 

ellis - almost (sweet music) 

i did a deep dive into ellis' who playlist on patreon way back when and (surprise surprise) this was one of the songs that features on their playlist. this was actually one that i didn't say too much about because its just a bop, you know??? there's the lyrics about their foolish heart, but otherwise this song just screams ellis at me and i never really know why its just a warm fuzzy good vibe and that's them all over. 

florrie - take me to church 

a song thats an endictment of catholicism And fucking???? all the ingredients to make up a solid florrie song. there are a few lines that give me big florrie energy (she's the giggle at the funeral / knows everybody's disapproval / my lover's the sunlight / get something shiny) but in general i imagine florrie would fare well being worshipped, i think that's a great dynamic for her, so this is reflective of that. 

griffin - someone new 

i don't think this one really needs much explanation - griffin falls fast and hard and often. he's my romeo, and every bit as naive.

beyond that, i do think that griff is someone who doesn't believe there's a Right Way to go about things and he's quite happy to muddle through life and always seems to land on his feet - a great person to help someone really uptight unwind hahaha 

imogen - my love will never die 

of all the characters, imogen is the one who is most likely to get on her knees and beg someone to love her. 

also she loves flowers 💐 

nyra - to be alone 

this one is also pretty literal lmao i am many things but i am Not a deep thinker. she doesn't love crowds, and i think the thing that nyra would value most in a partner is having someone that she can be alone with, if that makes sense? one of those special people that you can hang out with and still have the regenerative effect of alone time. 

when we meet nyra in body count she's in the midst of a really hard time in her life - we're at a real low point for her. she doesn't really feel like a person, she feels like a zombie dragging herself from one day to the next. she needs to work through that on her own (falling in love doesn't Magically Fix People), but i think that her relationship with MC would give her a few little sparking reminders to help guide her on her way. 

rowan - jackie and wilson 

again soz this is on her character playlist hahaha! this is an absolute rowan anthem for me - she is my roman candle of the wild. i mean obviously this song is so fun and that is Very Rowan, but the "better yet, she wouldn't care" particularly speaks to me. rowan is very much someone who can meet people where they're at with grace and understanding and help to build them up. 

syd - work song 

syd was the hardest person to match a song with, weirdly, but it was the second verse that really cinched it (and I was burnin' up a fever / i didn't care much how long i lived / but i swear i thought i dreamed her / she never asked me once about the wrong i did). syd is a hard person to Date because they are a fuck up! they don't always get things right or know the right things to say or make the right gesture. that said, if someone can work through the initial challenges with them, they would be rewarded with endless devotion (albeit expressed in their own funny little way). 

vinh - in a week 

lying down and dying together in a field to be eaten by animals is peak romance to vinh lmao. in general, i think once they find Their Person it will be someone that they can feel at home and happy with regardless of the situation, and there isn't much that they wouldn't be willing to endure as long as they had that. 

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday evening! Finally getting chance to get away from work and do something I want to do. This review ha Not a ton of Chenford but what they have is really good and its an excellent Lucy ep. We meet her mother who I like even less than her dad...

2x05 Tough Love

Ep starts off with Lucy complaining to Jackson about her dating life. She says its like Goldilocks. This one is too hot or too cold. Too frat bro or screen writer. How she’ll never find someone. Oh sweets just wait few more years you can do it haha it’ll be so worth it. Jackson’s reply is primo. ‘What you need is a grown man.’ Ain't that the truth....She does have one it's just they’re both just not ready yet LOL

They’re scrambling out the door when she opens it and there is Lucy’s mom…..As you remember I wasn’t fond of her dad. Now we get to meet her mom and get the other part of the puzzle piece. She tells Lucy how she and her father are getting a divorce. Lucy doesn’t look worried almost like this happens all the time. Her parents sound dysfunctional af. No wonder Lucy has the issues she does honestly.

She refuses to tell Lucy what happened or what’s going on. Completely dismissing Lucy and her questions. (Just like her father..) Off to a great start. Her mom stares at their couch and says how great it'll be for her back. Jackson gives up his room when Lucy offers a hotel room instead. She Looks like she wants to murder him for doing this baha I can not blame her. Nothing worse than a parent staying with you as an adult. Least that's always been the case for me. They make you feel well at least hers does as do mine like you're a child all over again they can berate and tear down.

The amount of issues I have with my own mother are not unlike what Lucy has. I feel her on this. Her mom takes a pot shot at her on the way to Jackson’s room. Her face says it all. I’ve always loved Lucy’s sense of style BTW. She always looks great to me. But I’ve been there my mom also likes to take little shots like that at me too. I relate so hard it pains me. Can't just show up and be kind...no no has to tear you down a bit before 5 minutes have elapsed. It looks like she gets it from both barrels with her parents. Another thing I can relate to as well. No reprieve.

Grey brings up CI’s in roll call and how they need to cultivate their own. Tim instantly is mouthy about them. Grey tells them they’re good tools. Tim pipes in ‘They’re definitely tools…’ Of course he has a POV that is diametrically opposed to Angela's. He thinks they need to be dominated and never in control. Where she believes they need to feel like they're apart of the team. Why am I not surprised at both of their POV’s? Ha Tis the theme of this ep for them least from a work standpoint. Harper pipes in says they're both wrong they all need to be handled differently.

Lucy already has her CI all picked out. Are we shocked our girl did her homework long before this came up? She’s chosen a pawn shop owner named Opal as her first CI. Lucy has picked this specific one cause they’re never called in help from the cops about illegal merch. Meaning either they're a saint or keeping illegal stuff without reporting it. Tim seems impressed with her strategy. (won’t tell her that of course) but lets her know it’s not easy to bag a CI.

What I love about this first scene is Lucy’s complete control. Her calm demeanor during this whole thing. Not one thing rocks her boat. Tim just sits back (Looking fine as hell btw) and lets her do her thing. He is as proud as can be while he does. I don’t know what’s cuter her little spin around being all proud of herself or Tim’s cute smile behind her. He is beaming but trying to keep it in check. He's enjoying watching her do her thing that's for sure.

Lucy commands this situation entirely. Opal clearly doesn’t want to bite so Lucy forces her hand. Tim just stands back and lets her work her magic. You can see how proud he is of her taking control. Owning this situation and ultimately getting what she wants. I mean he’s seen that in action a million times with her. Usually it’s her battling him haha So I’m sure he’s more than happy to let the shop owner be the recipient of her driven energy for once haha

Opal cracks and Lucy asks for something that has come through recently. No petty misdemeanor crap haha Tim is just sitting pretty literally and figuratively while she does this. Look at him in that second gif. The way he is watching her. He is impressed with her and its showing. Opal presents Lucy with a designer bag worth at least 6k. She starts digging into the bag and Tim is confused as to what she’s doing. He decides to speaks up for the first time and ask.

Lucy tells him these high end bags usually have serial numbers sewn in. It’ll link them to the original buyer. She finds this and proudly shows off her good work to Tim. She is beyond adorable with how proud she is of herself right now. Tim’s little smile is his stamp of approval. First time we get to see Lucy confidently command a situation with no help from Tim and even get his approval during it. Major growth for Lucy and I’m here for it. ❤️

The serial number leads them to an address where they speak with the woman who it belongs to. Lucy tells her that her bag was at a pawn shop as stolen property. The lady is awful and assumes it was her housekeeper and fires her. The step daughter Olivia walks in and fesses up to selling them. Says she wouldn’t have even noticed.

The step-mom (we soon find out she is to this girl) wants her arrested. Says it'll be only way she'll learn. Lucy is appalled by this woman’s behavior. Asks her if that’s really what her father would want? She continues to be terrible and says he wants whatever she says. Tim and Lucy have no choice but to arrest her.

They bring the step daughter back to the station for processing. Lucy asks where her mother is? She lets her know she passed away last year from cervical cancer. Her dad was cheating on her mom while she was in hospice. You see Lucy’s empathy kick right in. The need to help and need to fix things. Something she doesn’t know how to turn off. I’m with her on that. I too am a very empathetic person it’s hard to turn that off when you see someone hurting.

Goes from processing this girl to trying to guide her a bit. Letting her know she shouldn’t go home tonight. Olivia tells Lucy she doesn’t much of a choice. She has no access to the money her mom left her till she graduates college. That her father is withholding it. Lucy says that can't be legal? Olivia lets her know she's too broke to hire a lawyer to know if it is. Lucy sighs tells her stealing isn’t going to make her situation any better. Olivia looks so lost then asks what will? Poor girl that sucks. I can not imagine being in her living situation.

Nolan’s son shows up with his fiancé at the food truck all in love and happy. Lucy already in a funk about dating says how happy they look and she wants that. All in good time my dear all in good time. You most definitely are not ready yet for Tim and vice versa. But breaks my heart to see her longing for that so much. It really is foreshadowing for what happens to her this season with Caleb. *Heart clutch*.

Lucy is on the phone with her mom and she is belittling her about her grocery list (eye roll) when her convo gets interrupted by Opal. I love her calling for Tim and him instantly replying. Said before it’s the little things I love and this is one of them. She goes on to tell him Olivia returned to the shop. Was selling more of her step moms stuff. This time she didn’t want money she wanted a gun.....

Tim and Lucy go back to Olivia’s house and hear gun shots. She’s shooting up all her step mom's hand bags. Saying how she turned her dad against her, that she ruined everything. Sadly they have to arrest her again. Lucy is telling Olivia she made everything so much worse. The step mom starts to go off saying how she’s going to pay for those. The sweet house keeper walks in asking what’s going on? Step mom asks why she is there? That she fired her. She says she was grabbing last of her things when she heard the commotion.

You can see how annoyed they all are with this nasty woman. The house keeper then asks Tim and Lucy if they’d like to see where she hides all her drugs? Amazing. Epic really. Way to return the favor for firing her for no damn reason. Look at them all tall and small looking like a power couple. How can two people who are just standing there exude so much chemistry?

Lucy wakes up next morning to her apt out of order. It’s such a violation to have what should be your safe space messed with. Her mother just did this without asking. Something my mom would do. So this irritates me to no end...Just another comment on what she thinks Lucy is doing wrong. Drives me insane.

Poor girl she looks so betrayed by Jackson agreeing with the new set up. Thankfully when they arrive back home they see her mom's suitcase by the door. Says they made up and her father is coming to get her. As her mom is leaving she levies one last pot shot. Telling her to come by the office to see why she isn’t dating anymore? After she is gone, Lucy makes a comment about being 28 and still single cause of her parents. Jackson challenges her and says you sure that’s why?

I love Jackson so much for bringing this up. It’s why Lucy isn’t ready for something ‘Tim level’ yet. She still is a commitment-phobe. Also she goes for things that are safe right now. Almost like a placeholder for her till she is ready for the real thing with Tim. Goes after men that’ll never really last for her. Or that she doesn’t take seriously enough for it to. Like with Emmett we'll see later on.

Her face in that gif is too funny. She knows Jackson has her pegged. She still has a ways to go but all part of her journey and the process really. Just like Tim it is fun to watch her grow personally and professionally ❤️

That’s all she wrote for this ep. Not a ton of Chenford content but good stuff none the less for our girl and our couple.

~~~~

Side Notes-Non Chenford

Fun to watch everyone get their CI’s and Jackson get out of the hole but that’s a bout it nothing major this ep.

Thank you to all reading and commenting/liking/reblogging. Especially during Chenford week when we have an onslaught of goodies to read and look at appreciate those who read these reviews appreciate you all :)

[hughungrybear]

****Late to the party because I managed to fail my driver's licence test, so I'm going to cheer myself up and binge-watch the series on my list 😔****

Me watching Only Friends Ep. 8:

1. Based on the preview, this episode's title (Save Me) seems very apt to what is about to happen.

2. Cheum looked like she swallowed a lemon, but I guess her concerns are nothing compared to what is Sand's feeling as Mew and Ray grind drunk on the dance floor 😔. After all, the shittiest feeling is knowing exactly what is causing your heartache, but are powerless to do anything about it - except walking away that is.

3. Ray admitting he is so "damn happy" when he is with Sand, but still thinking that Mew is the one he loves is so frustrating. I want to reach out and shake this baby boy hard to see some sense. 😤😤😤

4. Wait, why are Yo and Plug fighting??? I thought they were already lovers? <after five seconds> Oh. Oh. Yo, if you are not ready for a relationship, then you should have never started at all. I'm with Plug on this one. 😔 Sidenote: P'Jenny's silent tears in this scene is heartbreaking. 😭😭😭

5. It looks like Mew will be losing everything he worked hard for if he doesn't stop his downward spiral. Although, I'm not sure if Top is the one who can save him. Truthfully, I just want these boys to be able to save themselves.

6. Okay, so at least it looks like Top's intentions are good. Unless he is lying to Cheum (about not caring if Mew comes back to him or not, as long as they save him), I guess there's a glimmer of hope for this character.

7. Gosh, Papang is simply everywhere. Does not matter whether it's BL, comedy, thriller, or your garden-variety lakorn. Papang must be the most tired actor in GMMTV for 2023 😂

8. It sure looks like Nick was summoned, not only for his tech skills, but also to become his senior's next boyfie 😅

9. "If licking your a** can get me this job, I will do it". ~ Nick

Oh. My. Gawd. I do think Papang's character will literally take you up on that offer, Nick. 🫣🫣🫣

10. Oh, at last, Title is here. I have been wondering about his role for this series.

11. Ngl. I just want to slap both Mew and Ray. It is pretty obvious how they are forcing themselves to look like they are having fun with each other's company. My head hurts just by looking at these kids.

12. Oh, Nick. Listen to Sand. STOP MOVING IN CIRCLES!!! BOSTON AIN'T WORTH IT. 😑😑😑

13. Ray, make up your damn mind. Either you love Mew or you want Sand. Pick an effing lane. Good for Sand for shutting that sh*t down.

14. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Atom (Title) and Cheum are siblings??? And Atom is interested in Boston? And if Boston take Atom up on his offer? What then??? Wtf will happen?

15. Sand still worrying about Ray despite everything is just depressingly sad.

Still not convinced that leopards (Top) can truly changed their spots. Looks like Sand will not be able to stay away from Ray. And Boston literally screwing Cheum's lil bro will definitely not go well. Gods, now I'm even more depressed after watching this episode lol. 😅