#work is very stressful rn
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i joke about my silly little interests but they really do get me through shit sometimes ngl
#daisy.txt#work is very stressful rn#i come home sad as shit and then dive into a book/game/series/etcetc and suddenly#feel a little better
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how am i meant to ha wahoo yippee through life in these conditions
#vu talks shit#in this past week i have#gone to urgent care without insurance#paid about half my bills#been reminded that i still owe someone another near 200 for a trip i leave for in TWO DAYS#AND i paid for a rental space for something that i am ADMITTEDLY VERY HAPPY ABOUT BUT STILL SO BROKE NOW#and i have done ZERO grocery shopping#and im not sure i have the money to do grocery shopping right now#but im scared to look at my bank account after shelling out nearly 1k on everything else#AND i have to take my cat back to the vet soon cause she's starting to have asthma attacks again#i need to put everything new in my shop and put shit up for pre order cause i got charms im working on#but mAn i just#cannot afford the distractions rn#vent#AAAAAAAAAAUGH#i didnt wanna put that but i am stressing in the tags now
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Been wanting to draw some fanart for Poor George MAP since it's my favorite one, and because it was its anniversary recently, I finally did it :>
ID: A digital drawing in two panels with characters from Warriors. In the panel above, there's Yellowfang watching Brokenkit play with a moss ball, she looks endearingly at the little kit; they're in a green environment and plants surround them. In the panel below, Yellowfang is in the same possition, looking down at an adult Brokenstar at her feet, already dead, she looks sorrowful. Fireheart is by her side, looking at her with compassion. They're at ThunderClan's medicine den.
#irbis draws#fanart#warrior cats#warriors#warrior cats fanart#yellowfang#brokenstar#fireheart#firestar#thunderclan#shadowclan#cw animal death#animal death#poor george map#i really love this map. it brought me to tears at the part where yellowfang decides to blind brokenstar but still sees her little kit in hi#i remember when i first watched it i was procrastinating a very complicated project#i'm working in a quite stressful project rn too but ive got more sense of things and im almost done with uni!!!#and its still my favorite. i had heard of it like a week before it released and already liked the song aaa#and then the whole pacing was just perfect#also the scene where brokentail kills his father felt so real. i could feel raggedstar's struggle to survive#woaaah#very amazing map#AND THE CREDITS SEQUENCE#im gonna turn this into a ted talk goodbye
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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my stardew farmer ^_^ he doesnt have a green thumb for shit so he keeps animals and does mining
some tidbits i came up with while playing hehe
reclusive and doesnt really go out of his way to talk or visit people unless its an errand. but he also doesnt try to befriend others to get something out of it, so he has a very easygoing approach to making friends. on good terms with linus and sebastian since he runs into them most often.
if he respects or takes a liking to someone, he'll greet them with miss/mister (name). if you get close to him he starts using first name basis. if he doesn't like you, he'll refer to you by your title without using your name. only a few people have caught on to this.
the farm he inherited, Milky Way Farm, was the site of a meteorite crash and sometimes you can find shards of meteor debris littered around the farm (i picked the hilltop farm bc of this lol)
lost his sweater and pants a long ass time ago and doesnt have the time to look for them, so hes been working in his sleep clothes ever since
isnt actually grandpa's real heir to the farm... ;)
#sorry i havent been getting around to artfight attacks or art of anything lately bc my pen :) decided now would be the perfect#time to fucking bail on me :))) its gen 1 apple pen too so the fucker is discontinued hate and death on plsnet earth#like it TECHNICALLY works but only if i pair and re-pair it with the ipad until it senses it and that can be up to 38 tries#even then itll suddenly stop working if i take it off the ipad for more than 10 fucking seconds so i am not having a good time. this is the#second pen that this has happened to and i dont think its my ipad or software jesus christ. whatever. ill pretend not to care so it#fixes itself faster#ANYWAY COSMO!! YEAH. STARDEW IS STUPIDLY ADDICTING. i got it during the sale but im playing it on ios rn since i#dont have steam on my pc rn. i started a new save after the first one fizzled out and i think im doing way better this time yay#its a special kind of stress when u need to be in bed and its 1:50AM but the cat is in the fucking way#i wanna make more stuff with this guy i have a lot of stuff i wanna draw for him. i have a little backstory for him in mind#ill probably make a separate post to explain it but its a very long series of misunderstandings and ouran haruhi gender fuckery#my art#myart#my oc#oc#stardew farmer#sdv farmer#sdv#stardew valley#doodles#stardew
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Daily Diana #9
I am going issue by issue through Wonder Woman (1987—) and drawing my favourite outfits on a very vague daily schedule. This was issue 9, the start of a new arc, and with a lovely little raccoon.
Masterlist || Previous || Next
The outfit & raccoon in context:
#i enjoyed this one a lot more than yesterday's#work is very stressful rn so this was a nice reprieve#dc comics#my art#daily diana#wonder woman#diana of themyscira#diana prince
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Breakfast burgers!
(As always click for better quality)
I’d like to think that Damian is visiting after his Robin shift and they’re getting in some supersons hang out time before school
My emergency commissions are still open with everything 10% off the final price!
Version without lighting effects (+coloured lines) and zoomed in version under cut;
#idk what about stress makes me decide to draw big pieces but let’s just say this took about 25 hours 💀#supersons#super sons#is there a space I can never remember#damian wayne#robin v#jon kent#superboy#batfam#superfam#superman#but only on his way to work in the background#dc comics#dc#art#slightlyslothdraws#on a personal note in a really weird state of limbo rn regarding housing where we don’t really know what’s happening when#i feel a bit weird about having my emergency comms up when theres a possibility itll get sorted through a charity soon but everythings#really uncertain atm and if it falls through then we'll be back to square one#personal note aside please enjoy the boys they are my children and i love them very dearly#(Clark bought the burgers)
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blessings roll call! add on in the tags if you so wish <3
#new (to me) car! huge answer to prayer!#was lowkey so stressed about car issues I was actively losing sleep over it.#having a reliable comfy and relatively cheap car now is such a blessing#dad very generously emptied his CDs out of the cool 30-yr-old compact holder I've been coveting for years and gave it to me#so now I get to party like it's 2007 driving around with my CDs expertly contained and catalogued#got accepted into the OTA program I was applying for all through the summer!#so gotta set up classes for that#more good school news is I've already done all the the co-reqs for next semester's OTA classes#meaning I only have 2 classes + choir which I'll do for fun and thus can work more hours and also have time for an actual life#looking forward to a more restful semester#time with family and friends has been so precious lately#even though it's been scarce it's been lovely and joyful when it happens#looking forward to the holidays actually for the first time in years!#usually they're dreaded because of family drama but I think I can manage to find joy anyway#and also choose to spend less time or no time in or around the drama#looking forward to break. three more weeks of classes and then freedom for five glorious weeks.#looking forward to Advent especially!#also made soup today and it's so good#thankful for a good job and for getting along with my coworkers#and immensely thankful for books especially audiobooks without which I would not have survived this year#and for the Gospel of John. it's holding me together rn. struggling through some faith questions and some anger towards God#the last few months#but as long as I can stay in scripture...it still seems worth it.#blessings
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alright, friends, it's time for a lil heart-to-heart.
for quite a while now, i've struggled with feeling like the rpc is an actual community. there's a few things that contribute to this feeling, but it mostly comes down to a lack of interaction and visible interest. sometimes i feel very one-sided in my interest and attachment to my mutuals bc when i see their ooc posts or headcanons, i like them or comment, yet this isn't reciprocated by everyone. i can usually guess who i'm about to see in my notifications, and to be absolutely clear, i'm very grateful for those people!! it's a handful or two of you, but it could be just one and i'd be grateful. it's not about numbers whatsoever but rather growing uncomfortable that not all of my mutuals are all that interested in my character or me.
i write on here to share the excitement of creating with other people. i write on here to create together, too, but i'm also here to share characters and ideas and lore with people i know are happy to hear me ramble. i'm just getting to the point in which i'm questioning how many of you are actually happy to listen, and that's just not a good feeling at all. i'm not a mind reader, y'all. if you don't tell or show me that you care about the things i talk about or even about interacting, there's no way for me to know. eventually, i'm going to question why you're following me if i never see or hear from you, and eventually, i'm going to softblock and move on. that's the only way forward i see right now because i just do not feel comfortable on my own blog. i feel like i'm retreating into this quiet bubble to avoid discomfort, and it really sucks. it's killing my muse.
i'm not perfect. none of us are, and we can't be online at all times to catch every little post. but if we're a community, then we should be supporting each other when we can and liking headcanons, liking/commenting on those lil ooc posts that remind us our writing partners are humans with lives outside this site, reblogging their promo posts, sending in that meme they've reblogged even if we're nervous to reach out first -- if we're a roleplaying community, then we need to act like it. " community " implies connection, and a connection doesn't really begin when you follow each other. it begins when you reach out, even if it's in some small way.
tldr: i think we can all do better to support our mutuals and to connect, and i'm going to softblock people rather than continue to feel unsure where i stand with my mutuals. i won't start until sometime next week, and i won't make one of those " like this to remain mutuals " posts. they're not helpful to me, if i'm honest. if you're worried, just reach out. i'm literally a 4'9'' gremlin who sleeps with a m.unchlax plushie -- i promise i'm not scary despite this post uvu
#if i reread this one more time my head will explode asdfg so i'm done and hitting post#i need to stress though i'm very thankful for the people i have connected with in small and big ways <3 it means a lot to me#but i've been told bottling things up isn't a great idea so it's time i was just honest#also i’ve felt like this for a long time#so it’s not the time of year bc i know everyone gets busy during the holidays#i’m just feeling frustrated and tired bc in some instances my efforts do feel one-sided and this hobby is supposed to be an escape#rn it’s not such a great escape for me. i’m trying to be honest so that can change#i’m trying overall to reshape this blog a little in how i run it bc i want us all to have fun and feel seen#that means creating boundaries and being honest and trying new methods so that i don’t get overwhelmed and can actually write and chat#with everyone that i’d like to write and chat with uvu#alright……. i think that’s it after i’ve rambled in the tags asfhjk#i’ll queue this and a bunch of other stuff later when i’ve got time#for now i gotta finish getting ready for work — pls have a lovely day everyone!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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god i just imagined,, getting all cozy with moon on a chilly day in autumn, and watching over the garden wall. i think he’d really like it
#idk why i’m so fucking obsessed with specifically moon lately#auuugghhhhh#i am feeling very soft rn#contrast to my stress of having to go to work in a few hours ahahah
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cw: blood
Today's practice had turned out way more stressful than Dew had expected. Papa was caught up in some ministry business so the ghouls were left to go through songs and choreography by themselves. Dew was a little bit thrown off by this news but it was fine. They had done loads of ghoul only practices before and done everything they needed to do. But there was an air of what Dew could only describe as silliness hanging over the other ghouls today and it was making it hard to get damn near anything done.
“-and then I told him that I didn't even work there!” Swiss exclaimed as Phantom and Cirrus doubled over with laughter.
“So you had this poor guy follow you around the whole store trying to get your attention?” Cumulus giggled as she wiped a tear from her eye.
“I don't even know why he did it!”
There was another eruption of laughter and Dew eyed the instruments that his bandmates had abandoned to go listen to Swiss’ story. He looked round at the other ghouls and saw the same level of disinterest in practicing. Rain had sat down on the edge of Mountain's platform and pulled out his phone and headphones while the earth ghoul absentmindedly drummed out a beat and stared out the window. Aurora had even linked her phone to one of the speakers and was playing some new hit pop song. Everything was so loud and disorganised. Dew tried to get anyone's attention, but between the laughter and the music and the sound of Mountain's drums no one could hear him. Or they were all just ignoring him.
“Guys can we get on with the fucking practice? We start touring in a month and we still have so many things to go over.” Dew raised his voice and everyone went quiet. Aurora turned off the music and everyone got back into position. Dew felt guilt start to grow in his gut at all the sheepish looks on his bandmates faces. But he shook his head and looked at the setlist they needed to practice for the first show. “Okay let's just start from the top because Papa isn't here.”
They got through the first few songs without a hitch but when they got to the first solo in Faith, one of Dew's hands decided to cramp and completely fuck up the whole thing. Dew stifled his cry of pain and everyone stopped to see what happened.
“I'm fine. Let's just start again.”
Dew tried again but his fingers weren't cooperating. He kept fumbling the notes as his hand continued to ache even after the cramping stopped. He was getting increasingly frustrated with himself. Everytime he messed up the solo he went back to the start and tried it again. He didn't even notice when the other's stopped playing when he started to do that. He also didn't notice his glamour slipping and, with what seemed to be a deafening twang, Dew's claws sliced straight through several strings.
The sound of his only blood rushing through his head was the only thing he could hear as he stared down at the guitar. One of the strings must have caught his hand as it snapped and Dew watched the blood drip down his wrist, staining his sleeve.
Phantom rushed over and tried to take his hand. “Dew, you're bleeding! Let me fix that for y-”
A deep, guttural growl cut the quint off as Dew snatched his hand back and threw his pick to the floor. He would have thrown his whole guitar to the floor too if he didn't know how much it would cost to replace it. So he just shoved it on its stand and stormed out of the room.
As he marched down the corridors he could feel the hot tears start to stream down his face. He was such a fucking idiot. Phantom didn't deserve that. None of them deserved the brunt of his temper. The guilt made his stomach churn and he wanted to scream. He wrenched the door to his room open and slammed it shut behind him, before launching himself into bed. Grabbing the nearest pillow, he screamed into it until his throat was raw and his head hurt.
After that, he realised that the feeling of his clothes sticking to his sweaty skin was just too much and he practically ripped them off his body, throwing them across the room and not caring where they landed. Then he remembered the cut on his hand and saw how much blood he had got all over his bed. It was everywhere. All the thrashing about he had done had caused the wound to keep reopening and bleeding all over his sheets and blankets and pillows. Dew practically jumped away from the bed and just stood there, too overwhelmed by everything to do anything. The tears started again and Dew just didn't know what to do. He fell to the ground and sobbed.
#dewdrop ghoul#i was very overwhelmed at work today and it made me mean and i hated that but i was still overwhelmed and stressed#so i made Dewdrop sad#cw blood#i might write a second part where he gets comforted but im not feeling that rn
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i would lov to see some engineer/pyro one day;; its oki if not of course!! i luvs your art <3
pyro deserves some love !!!!!
#engineer tf2#pyro tf2#texas toast#team fortress two#its been a while hope u like it!! i enjoyed drawing this. am still working on the others. its a very stressful time in my life rn tho.#so pls no more requests for the time being! i still have a few to complete#art#anonymous#asks
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my pieces got accepted to the local museum ! i was quite sure they'd been rejected because i was supposed to hear back over 2 weeks ago, but i guess there were just time issues. am very happy about this !
#found out this morning that my work account was hacked and my last paycheck was diverted to somebody else's bank account#which ate up my entire morning figuring out and has been incredibly stressful. it sounds like whether they can recover the money or not#i will still get my paycheck but the person i spoke to couldnt tell me when bc it has to be looked at by specialists#its also rent paying time so that was the worst possible timing for this to happen and sucks so bad.#so finding out my pieces were accepted and at least im getting a paycheck from that is very relieving#i also realized last night that the colors on the blanket are scaring me#in that i dont know if they actually work or not after all... i just made a little pin loom square with them to see it with the weft#its drying rn ill take a picture soon for comments if i can get the colors right#anyway. yeah so some good news is very appreciated right now for sure
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.
#vent cw#negative cw#ferre said something i hope it was dumb ( ooc. )#i too sometimes wonder if my rp days are coming to an end....#or at least just switch over to writing with only friends#like of course i still love rp#and i truly DO....miss the days when being on my dash excited me#and i didn't feel guilty#like i KNOW i said that i am ridiculously slow and i assume?? that my current writing partners understand that#but i dunno....i guess i just feel like when i do pop in here#it doesn't really matter#kinda like....i'm just another person to get replies from/on dash and that's it#and that's on me.....like yeah i'm ridiculously slow with ooc messages and with replies so ppl are going to move on; i'm not blaming anyone#rn my job and rl is so busy/stressful now...most times when i look at my keyboard to write i get sleepy and i can't write#and i can't help but feel like i'm bothering ppl when i reply to their threads or if i messaged them with ideas bc of how infrequently i ca#be on here#the exception being ppl who i know are just as slow as me (u know who u are)#something tells me that maybe more renovations might be needed or i just need to make new dynamics or i need to find new partners#or maybe even just drop muses/threads/dynamics.....#or even just moving blogs again to clear up space#but i don't think that will work so no moving#i also know that i have...i have a very specific vibe i go for in my dynamics and it's not....it's not everyone's cup of tea#i can't help but also wonder if i'm just being too precious with my muses like#i can't always throw them into any plot or give them spontaneous ships- i wonder if i'm just being too inflexible here ://#and they're on the older side and i don't want to have them constantly in say caretaker roles#i know i'm venting i'm sorry :/#if anyone has advice on just....starting up again#that would be nice....i am also aware that this has become a vent post so feel free to ignore this too#i will...have more time to rest soon so i'll try to get to at least ooc messages
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Small updates!
Ravenous prints arrived today so I should be uploading them to my shop soon! Also I'm thinking about making print bundles, like grouping together prints with the same themes and doing a deal. So I'll update when I do that too.
Also tbh I'm still looking for a diff place to sell. Etsy works for me cuz I've been using it for so long but at this point they take so much off me and yknow... They aren't great in general. But that's still in the works.
And also I've started easing back into uni work again after having been on a mental health break, which means comms and art in general will be slower. Still v much in desperate need of comms as uni doesn't pay me.
#I'll be working on art and uni intermittently. But when uni starts again I may only do art on the weekends#Gonna try to not have such a stressful routine this time as that's what made me sick last time#So it's gonna be more relaxed#But yeah. Stuff#Part of me considers disappearing off the face of the earth in terms of art rn I'm very underwhelmed and stressed about it#Hate how it's become so much about posting all the time. And I hate my art rn. Wish it was different. And I hate begging for comms#Anywayyyy#That's me rn#Stressed. Frazzled. Trying my best#Oh but I am exciting about new comm projects with existing clients. That should be a good balance for uni work
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i wanna live on my own again …. i’m so ready to put my books on a shelf and my clothes in a closet
#absolutely adore my parents but i’m just excited to Have My Own Place again. where i can unpack all my shit & decorate & stay for a year#and be back downtown tbh. the suburbs are very quiet & it’s peaceful but i feel so lonely out here#i’m gonna have to wait til october for prices to drop a bit but i’m determined to make it work#i got a dope job as a neurofeedback technician but it’s only 9-15h/week ($22cad/h) soooo that ain’t gonna cut it#little nervous cuz frankly i dunno if i can handle working more than ~30h/week rn & also. holy fuck it’s hard finding decent part-time jobs#although! last night my old manager asked if i’d consider coming back to the restaurant to host/do cash on a casual basis/for the holidays#which means i’m probably going to end up balancing 3 jobs again. which is kinda fucked up lol but it’s good money so i can’t turn it down#anyways i’m getting ahead of myself#i do feel like i’m genuinely looking forward to things for the first time in a while though#like grad school next year & tattoos this fall & hopefully making friends w new coworkers n shit. even if it’s unbelievably stressful 👍#pegasus speaks#hi btw i am alive. i just haven’t really been very interested in tumblr at all lately. which is kinda weird but probably for the best
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