i also don’t think ‘security in your masculinity’ functions as a cure for violence against women. in fact, the cure is (put simply) compassion and empathy for women, the recognition that women are human beings, which is something masculinity is explicitly constructed against. because masculinity isn’t a biological reality, it’s a social construct defined against a feminine ‘other’ and associated with power. traits/behaviours/embodiment that one culture and time period associates with masculinity are associated with femininity in another.
In that context ‘security in your masculinity’ means... security that you don’t have to behave like [insert racialised/class-prejudiced portrayal of stereotypes male violence here] to preserve the privileges you expect to be surrounded by as a member of the dominant gender class. the irony in the ‘secure in my masculinity’ brag is that it makes the men with genuine cause to fear for their place in masculine hegemony (disabled men, gay men, trans men, men of colour, jewish men, immigrant men, working class men, etc) more of a threat than the men who are most secure within it. and now, under this framework, striving for inclusion within the privileged class, fighting to maintain its definitions, and subscribing to its values, is... feminist praxis?
and of course, in all of this, men’s experiences are centralised in the conversation of violence against women. violence against women becomes a tribal issue between groups of men, a.k.a 'feminist’ men are taking fundamentally the same perspective as the 3750 year old code of hammurabi.
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I don’t think I’ll ever quite understand the whole “unless you’re exclusive to me during the talking/casual dating phase I don’t trust you/you’re not wife material/etc”. Idk, in my opinion, you have to earn my exclusivity. Show me that I won’t be missing out on shit if I turn all my attention to you. I’m sorry, but you do have to actually be better than me running shit on my own if you’re going to be my sole source of sexual intimacy and a top-priority in my life.
The reward you get from hanging out with me right now is good companionship, my careful attention and consideration, and kind affections, but I won’t start sacrificing shit unless you have actually earned it. I alone will decide if I will stop entertaining other people while I am still single, if I have determined you are indeed worth it. But you are not entitled to the privilege of claiming my time and asking that I sacrifice parts of my life unless you have placed a crown on my head (and I have graciously accepted).
Weighing my options doesn’t make me less valuable. If anything, it’s an indicator that I know my own worth and will only give the most valuable privileges to the most valuable suitor. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to date people when I’m single. If you like me that much that you want me to yourself, ask me to be your girl then; my exclusivity won’t come without a title, or at the very least, we come to some kind of mutual agreement we actually sit down and discuss.
And yeah, I don’t expect any of my partners to be exclusive either until they’ve decided that I’m actually truly worth it to them too. Make me earn it. Choose me because you genuinely want me, not just because I’m a good little obedient puppy dog who follows you around for no good reason. Choose me because I’m an equal with agency and independence and you want a partner who chooses you for your effort and best qualities, instead of a pet who adores you regardless of how cruel or boring or lazy you are. If you want royalty you have to be royalty yourself and accept the responsibilities that come with it.
Believe it or not there are actually people who do respect this and have enjoyed stress-free companionships with me, this isn’t a fantasy that I’m asking for. Generally, in my experience, I’ve found that these companions tend to be more emotionally and intellectually mature and much less toxic overall. I’m just sayin’.
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🌼Mexican fashion Otami Embroidery :🍀
Otomi embroidery is the Mexican embroidery style known as "Tenangos", using vibrant colors, and unique floral and animal designs. Each Otomi piece is hand embroidered on Ivory muslin by Otomi artisans. Tenango de Doria, Hidalgo, Mexico.
Otomi textiles represent a great Mexican tradition that has been passed from generation to generation. Also Many bed sheets,shoes or bags are used with otomi embroidery.
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i love long skirts i love when women are fluttering around in them i think theyre so cute i want to pick them up and twirl them around
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