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ingenves · 5 years ago

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ok its ya girl back at it, same deal ! if u wanna plot just HMU or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you ! wes is my father & u can peep his pinterest board HERE !

⌈ chris pine, cismale, he/him ⌋ hey, is it WESLEY BIGELOW that you’re looking for? you know, the THIRTY-SIX year old CARPENTER. typically i see them hanging around GRISTOL DOCKS so you could try there! i hear they’ve been in living in PRINCETOWN for THIRTY-SIX YEARS. gristol wouldn’t be the same without them, right? anyway, whenever i see them they make me think of waking up before dawn, an old rowboat sitting in still water & a kitchen full of fresh produce.

tw: car accident & illness

this mans has lived in town his entire life!!! his parents, william and rose bigelow owned a historic farm . willy & rose were high school sweethearts, a shotgun wedding joining them together after rose ended up pregnant with their first child at the age of 19. while rose’s parents were furious with their daughter for being so reckless, william’s father was more than happy to offer them a place to stay and lend a hand taking care of the baby that would soon be on the way.

despite the circumstances, wes was never treated as an accident or a mistake. he grew up in his grandpa’s farmhouse with a loving family. the bigelow family followed some pretty traditional gender roles. wes’ dad and his grandpa would wake at the crack of dawn and work out in the field until sunset while his mother hung around the house to take care of him, doing laundry, making dinner, taking him to the park, everything.

from a young age he was encouraged to help out on the farm but being the mama’s boy he was, he was far more eager to help his mom out with the cooking and the laundry. he was close with his grandfather as well, the two always working on little projects together like building a tree house, birdhouses, his own bee house………………….a lot of houses

but wes was never rly close with his father. william wasn’t much of an emotional or talkative guy, usually just sitting there in stern silence and working the day away. a bit of a scary guy despite not ever doing anything scary?? he’s just an ominous guy that doesn’t rly seem impressed by anything so wes never rly knew where he stood u know.

the one time wes ever really felt close to his father was when they would take little weekend fishing trips together, even though they didn’t really speak. just the fact that william took his time to teach wes how to do everything and didn’t get mad or frustrated when he lost a lure or let a fish go by accident was enough to like…..send the message. that was his way of showing his love u know.

the second bigelow child was welcomed when wes was a kid and while at first he was jealous that his new baby sister was getting all the attention, having a baby around the house was kind of fun. she’d make funny faces and funny noises and he grew to love her pretty quickly. he used to always say that his baby sister was the best thing that happened to him. when she got older, he taught her how to make mud pies and how to play pranks on grandpa who was a rly good sport, all things considered.

car accident & death tw !! the winter of ‘94 would prove to be the worst winter of wes’ entire life. on the way back home to pick up a christmas tree from a nearby farm, the family’s old pick up hit a patch of black ice and ended up flipped into a ditch. it was a bad wreck. luckily his grandpa and sister were safe at home during the time of the crash, but wes and his parents weren’t so lucky, his mother being the unluckiest of the bunch. they were stranded in the middle of the road for two hours before anyone showed up for help and by the time they arrived, it was too late for rose, who got the worst of the injuries. doa at the hospital while wes and his dad walked away with mostly minor injuries. that year, there was no christmas tree and no presents. christmas dinner was replaced with takeout and no one said a word.

illness & death tw !! not long after rose passed away, grandpa bigelow got some bad news. lung cancer that no one really saw coming. just a few months after the diagnosis they were having another funeral for another member of the bigelow clan.

it was a tough year, but they got through it. wes did his job to step up and do all the things his dad couldn’t do; all the things his mother taught him. he expected all of it to make his dad more closed off but it had the reverse effect and for the first time in his entire life, wes and his father had heart to heart conversations.

jump forward to high school and things finally felt like they were back to normal. william wasn’t dating yet but he wasn’t being all that anti-social, either.

wes discovered quickly he was the kind of person that other people liked and he was quite popular??? he made good grades, played football, dating the coolest girl in school (in his own opinion ofc), everything kind of fell into place for him in high school

and then after high school he…………didn’t rly know what to do asdj;fdksgfkdlj he never went to college and decided work around town doing odd jobs and saving some money so he could go off and travel and live his life as a young person craving adventure.

he was gone for abt a year or so before coming back home & he’s just been here ever since, doin his thing

started working with a family friend in his shop, doing what he loved and building things n working with his hands u know and hasn’t stopped doing what he loves ever since

he owns his own shop now & builds custom furniture

the….personality section has Arrived

he’s quite the Charming guy but he talks WAY too much

definitely the kind of guy who will just…..talk about himself non-stop without even realizing it ?? he needs to get his Ego in check even after all these years smh

buT he’s very good at making conversation and is rly a friendly guy!!!! will talk and joke with anyone just because……why not ?? it makes his day when ppl talk to him so he will talk to u even if u dont feel the same way

highkey the kind of person to start up a random conversation w a stranger in the grocery story just because

lowkey uncomfortable with feelings and still isn’t super great at expressing emotions and his thoughts but ya boi is trying his best

but he’s rly good at picking up on signals. he can’t express his own emotions but he’s like….pretty in tune with other ppl

a very platonically affectionate guy. loves hugging his buddies and telling them how much he loves & appreciates them

and now for the lil extra tidbits

he’s got two dogs. a german shepherd named mulder & a pomeranian named scully sfddgfhgfg and he strategically uses his dogs to flirt w ladies when they’re out on a walk LMAO

he’s got a 6 year old daughter named aspen with a woman he is no longer dating ( im prob gna put this as a wc on the main so if u want this....hmu???? ) but they are still v close and spend a lot of time together & he loves aspen more than anything :’)

he’s very much a Dad. dad jokes all the time. endless shitty puns for everyonE

the man loves a turtleneck. he can’t keep his hands off a good ass sweater u know ??

he loves to cook and is v good at it, since he’s been cooking his entire life. he is the self-proclaimed kind of bbq and honestly???? he’s always throwing lil bbq parties & they are a hit :/ u know he be winning contests w his grilling bro

obviously.........a handyman. the house he lives in now, he built himself after tearing down the old on. he built himself a nice big deck and everything so he can have a nice place to host bbqs and everyone will come compliment him on hard work and enjoy his fantastic recipes

he runs his own business building & selling furniture!!!! need a shelf installed??? give him a call. dog chewed up ur table leg??? give him a call. house burned down???? give him a call he’ll build u a new one.

what’s better than this ??????????? guys bein dudes

he rly likes going to the movies. lowkey loves disney but pretends he only cares bc his daughter likes it but……….u know he knows the words to every song

tragically heterosexual ://///////

he loves strong coffee & he loves beer & occasionally he loves a good book & a nice game of chess

did i mention he is such a dad bc………..he is such a dad

someone hold his rough sandpaper ass hands

#gristolintro #ok i yam off to bed now ashdjf #will b lurking mobile for a bit tho !!

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alyjojo · 3 years ago

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20 memories & isms I love about you.

1. He sent me flowers at work. Twice 🥰

2. He left work to help me fix my tire, outside my ex’s house. Never drove on a highway before that day. (no I shouldn’t have dated the guy, but that particular Gemini is the asc degree of our composite chart, he’s the reason we ever met at all, and hubby is the reason we broke up so...lesson learned)

3. He made me eat his mom’s food. Not only that but excitedly. He’d be like “mom is making hot spaghetti and you’re gonna come over and have some”...I’d say no thx 20 times but he wasn’t hearing it. Hot spaghetti day. I felt weird having someone’s mom cook for me. She probably felt weird too tbh, but he was so over the top happy about mom, food, and me, that it didn’t seem to matter and worked out fine 😆

4. He’s so forward, and bold as hell. I’m irritatingly shy and very guarded. Literally the only way he got me was because he’d act before I could really even think about it or think myself out of it. Winners mind.

5. He moved me into his moms house. I was not ok. Not not not. My pride is...well it exists, and burns like fire whenever help is given. I will never ask in all my life and idc, feels better that way. Will gladly die first. My rotors were broken though (I could write a book just about car problems fr), I needed two and it was gonna take awhile. I’d be in the city and he’d be way out there. He’s like nah. You stay. He insisted...and I stayed. Staying was not a me thing, he changed that.

6. He gave me a baby. After all of the years I didn’t have periods, needed pills to have a normal body, all of the times I talked myself out of that sort of life altogether because I clearly didn’t have the guy (ex was not a kid guy) or the working body parts to even do that, must not be for me. First time in our new apartment, boom baby.

7. First time in our slightly bigger and nicer apartment, boom baby 2. We started actually using protection after she was born. Clearly we can.

8. He worked stupidly long hours and put up with so many people that just had no fn clue, it put a strain on everything, most of all him. When he got the offer for Indy, I pushed it. And pushed it. And pushed. May as well have pushed him right out the door, we were going, because those people suck and you’ll never get the chance to be seen while you’re doing that glorified delivery guy’s job for him. We’re going. So, we did, and he got me out of this damn state. At least once.

9. He loved getting lost with me, and it was my favorite thing. Indiana is a beautiful state and I encourage anyone to get lost there, on purpose.

10. I forgot work. He caused some serious change. Everyone else lost their job, including hubby’s favorite person ever, Jonathan. Today he’s the sole survivor of a mom and pop shop, and I’m so unbelievably proud of him. The best part though, is two of the guys from work used to come see me at my new work all the time, with all their bar bitches 😆 They were my favorite people, I was always so excited to see them. Hubby tried to get them back on, and did for one of them. And when the bigger boss needed a new smaller boss bc hubby was leaving the state, hubby fought like hell for Jonathan. Like Highlander, there can only be one *sksksksksksk* They looked at a couple and hubs was like no only Jon knows the ways of the force. They hired him back, Jon has sent him some of the sweetest thank you messages...it changed his life, and hubs still loves him very much. It’s adorable.

11. Screamy baby Shmoo, she was a screamy baby, and so very beautiful. Baby Bam was like a dream, she was the perfect baby in every way. My screamy baby Shmoo was also a perfect baby, with a pitch that could break glass and sometimes she just wanted to practice for hours. Usually I got her to bed with mama snuggles & milk, singing Alison Krauss and rocking. Sometimes though, on the roughest nights, it’d be over an hour before I’d open the door with screamy baby still in a fit, and he’d take her. He’s so warm and calm, he’d win every single time, and I’d be like...zzzzz tysm ily tyty zzzz....

12. His jokes. He’s not funny (yes he is don’t tell him). He thinks he’s funny. He jokes all day every day about everything always. The girls know when dad says something to be skeptical bc he said they gotta go outside and till the land with tiny shovels, and when I roll my eyes they know he’s full of it. What’s funnier, his mom was the kind of person that took things literally always. Every time him and his goofy dad were being sarcastic, I’d have to tell her that because they’d have her believing crazy stuff. My kids share a lot of her isms, that’s one. My son absolutely does not joke, he is quite literal (so far), and I always have to scold hubby or tell lil guy nooooo he’s kidding. I don’t talk about his silliness nearly enough and I should, that’s him ❤️

13. His relationship with his mom. His mom was always on the...I wouldn’t say weaker side, but older, regular pain, on disability. He was her BABY. Her eyes lit up like Christmas when he entered the room. She loves him so so much. His sister... You know the kind, or...just imagine, probably close. He hated it. He got his job pretty young and just kept it. Always had money, always offered to help his mom, always was like IM FINE MOM. She just wanted to do for him, and he’s always been the kind of guy that wants to do for himself. And she was so funny, she’d slip $20 into the diaper bag and tell me “don’t tell him”, putting it on me. So we’d get in the car. And I’d be like there’s $20 in the diaper bag, knowing he’s gonna be pissed if he finds it (she needs it). And he’d get it, run into the house, set it on her table, and run out the door while she ran after him hollering protests 😆 Lots of other stories too. I miss her so much, I can’t even imagine how much he must.

14. His relationship with his sister, and other whirlwind people. He’s like a rock. I’ve spent lots of time with his sister, but not at once. The one day I did, I came home and my brain was so full of her bazillion ideas and impulsive let’s do this and just one thing, opposite thing, different subject, back to the subject, hey let’s do this, omg I have an idea. I love her to death but I had to sit and just...dump my brain. Ask myself for my own input bc I’d lost wtf...what were we doing again?!? Him though? Doesn’t miss a beat. No...no...no...I’ll think about it...no...no..change subject. No issue saying no. Back then I was like thank god, girl would have me on a cruise to Aruba tomorrow with costume jewelry and black face before I could even think to protest. Not him.

15. Making up. The difference between Taurus moon and Sag moon is that Taurus moon stays mad for the rest of their lives (hello...) and Sag moon wakes up in the morning like nothing happened in the history of ever. This was something that irritated me THE MOST. Don’t make me laugh, I’m pissed at you. Over the years, it became the only way we’d talk at all sometimes. Is certainly the only reason we made up, countless times. He never stopped trying to make me smile, even if I wanted nothing to do with it.

16. Acts of Service. Is not mine, which is either words time or touch and I really can’t decide which. All. He speaks a whole other language. He will let me nap, or take the kids somewhere, he will spontaneously clean or go grocery shopping, walk the dog, mow the lawn, hang out at the birthday party. It didn’t start right away, more and more as he learned my isms. He’ll make me coffee as I’m coming down the stairs. I rarely have to ever ask for any practical thing. He knows my orders for anything, recently there’s been twice that he literally read my mind before I spoke. I try to do the same for him as much as I can, because I know that’s his language and I really appreciate him.

17. Bedroom games. The man knows my body like a map, no, an Excel spreadsheet 😭, and how to get every reaction he’s looking for. He is the only man to ever satisfy my insatiable ass. He made me a whole new person in that regard. He says the same about me. Never an issue there. It’s this far down the list cuz it’s not the most important, but it’s pretty important too so there that is.

18. We share the same goals. We judge the same way, like why did they wrap this like that it looks sketchy. We parent the same. We decide the same. We critically think and weigh ideas the same. We walk the same line in the same direction. If anything he’s too negative sometimes, but that’s his own personal thing. Can’t be full of Capricorn and not lean more toward pessimism (not “realism”) sometimes I think. If it’s worth it, I’ll try to coax him to middle ground. Sometimes it’s a battle, but only if I’m really sure. Usually, he’s right, so I just let him lead.

19. When I was pregnant with my son. Initially. It was hell. His car was trashed, mine was broken and thousands of dollars to fix (this particular car in this particular year has this and what a coincidence it was particularly my problem...cars, I’m telling ya). I was two feet out the door with his shit, but his sister’s issues led to my heart. Because her kids. I love them very much, of course they can stay here and not with some strange person hell no. I cannot describe how angry I was at him. HE strapped backpacks onto his back and walked to the nearest store. Hauled so much crap in a huge backpack and just his arms. Over the course of two months. He quit drinking. He went above and beyond to do get offer or provide anything I could even imagine. More romantic then I think I’d ever seen him before. At least...it had been some time anyway. Of course...he was lying to me. The whole time. To what extent idk. Regarding the work shit, idk. Thus the question and the dream and the crazy and the...crazy 😞 Wanted to piss me off boy he got that tenfold. His actions during this time period are 💯 why I stayed. He was clearly trying like hell to prove to me he could try, and it’s more than anyone I’ve ever known has even bothered to “bother” with. I was impressed, and proud. Respect counts for a lot more than love sometimes, and at the time I respected him.

20. He’s an amazing father. There are so many stories I couldn’t possibly write them all. Our son though, he chose daddy, right from the start. Nothing like our daughters, nor any kid I’d known. He’d scream, FOR his dad. He’d only sleep on his shoulder. Hubby held this baby for hours on end. If he didn’t baby would demand it, but it was very natural to them both. Baby wanted a bottle, and hubby to give it to him. It blew my mind. Hubby got his little teammate and together they’ve changed my life and perspective in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined.

I’ve spent so long sporadically venting on here that I don’t think I’ve ever posted the sweet things. So many great memories and daily...everything...are missing, so many years and little moments. That would take forever. Its always been my frustrations, which was the purpose. This is my heart. No matter what happens, all of these things will always be true.

#I love him with all my heart

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br0adwa5 · 7 years ago

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deh apartment hcs

so i was just scrolling thru Tumblr Dot Com™ and I saw a post that said “does anyone else ever daydream of decorating their first apartment?” (if anyone knows who made that lmk) but anyway i saw that and was like omg if that ain’t alana and then i was like wAIT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM so here’s this. fyi this is like a college au type thing ish??

(im sotired this is kinda shitty lol)

(also thank u so much for the luv on my last two hcs? i cr ied? les get to the point sorry)

alana:

ok so this girl would obviously have the neatest apartment ever

it would probably be like a medium size ya know

white walls.

lots of white walls.

and there would be like really pretty marble countertops

her beadspread (or whateverthefuck u call it) would probably be like grey with white little lines on it

in a pattern tho

like a cute pottery barn one

she would so freaking use evan’s discount at pottery barn are u kidding me

like her entire house would look like a pottery barn catalog

anyway

idk if all apartments have this so excuse me if i sound mega stupif

but she would use the little intercom-buzzer thing to get into the apartment to her full advantage

like if u wanted to even go up there she would legit do a full on background check

(except for zoe)

(zoe would be like “hey alana it’s-” and alana would be like “yOU CAN COME RIGHT UP”

but it would be like

“hello who is this?”

“alana you know it’s jared. i just texted you.”

“… ok then what’s your middle name”

“aLANA”

but anyway back to what inspired this in the first place

so alana would SO plan her apartment out from when she was like young enough to understand it ya get it

like she would pick out furniture at age six

(her taste would obviously change as she got older but u get it)

and she would literally have it down to the p a i n t color

like she would walk into home depot or whatever and the worker would expect her to look around for like 40 minutes but she’d be like

“hi hello i’ll take seashell grey in the gloss finish please. make it quick.”

(i totally just made that up what the hell is a gloss finish never heard of her)

i also picture her having lots of house plants? like most of them would be fake bc she’s too busy to keep them alive but they wouldn’t look fake

yeah alana’s apartmetnt would be so put together and like clean cut and nice

zoe:

her apartment would be rad okay

i feel like it would be v hipster and cool

not like Hipster™ but like… hipster?

what am i even saying

okay

so she would definetley have a room with yellow walls

like her rooms would be painted cool colors and stuff

but yellow specifically

she just seems like a yellow person

she would have a big wall that’s all chalkboard paint

wait now im really excited about this wall oh my god

like when everyone would go over her house they would all take a chalkboard marker (real chalk makes too much of a mess) and write and draw on it

evan would do little doodles of trees and write sweet and encouraging stuff

connor would either draw a hecking masterpiece or write really small in the corner “fuk u”

there’s no in between

alana would just doodle hearts and stuff

or when she’d be over doing homework w zoe she’d try to teach her math and science and stuff on it

a w

jared would just draw memes

i think we can all agree on that one

but annyyywwayy

she would refuse to get anything like store bought mainstream

like she would go to little shops in the middle of nowhere

or garage sales

and get the cutest stuff

her house would be so homey but at the same time like “wtf why is this so perfect”

l o t s of tapestries

don’t fight me on this

it wouldn’t be the regular mendala ones that a lot of people get

(but she would for sure have a few of those too)

it would be like really cool unique stuff

lots of maps of the world

tie dye

ya kniw

they would mostly be taking up all of the celing space and some wall space in her room

she would so have a polaroid camera i KNOW IT

and she would put them all on pieces of string w clothespins and string them up around her room

all pics of her frands and stuff

awwww zoe

she’d also probably have a room just for her dog

(btw if u didn’t see my other hc i see her as having a golden retriever named kiwi)

(but anyway)

like it was supposed to be a closet sbut she just didn’t use it

so she was like “well… okay let’s do this”

and evan will spend h o u r s at a time in that room

ugh she would just have the cutest apartment v colorful and stuff

evan:

evan’s apartment would be v small

he llved with his mom the first two years of college but decided to move out because he was feeling like he made a lot of progress and was ready to live on his own (btw is it canon tht he lives w his mom first year of college? i forget lmk)

(but he wasn’t really living on his own bc connor was always over or he was at connor’s place)

he would have a v little sitting area w a really old tv and a worn out couch that was probably free on the side of the road or cheap from a garage sale

he would have a fridge and oven and stuff but he’d mostly just use the microwave

(ho;ly shit “some people say just use a microwave…”)

(i h8 myself why why why ok moving on)

his diet would mainly consist of ramen noodles

bc he doesn’t want to leave and have to socalize with people at fast food places or the grocery store

but every once and a while zoe would come over like “evan wtf” and make him food to hold him over for a while

(uh hc that zoe’s a really good cook??/)

he would have a little bedroom with a big window in it

and his comforter would be blue with navy stripes (similar to The Shirt™ but not completley the same)

he would have lots of sticky notes everywhere

like ranging from “don’t forget to feed the dog” to “don’t worry about it, it’s probably not a big deal”

and when he was in a really good mental state he would write them and stick them in places he know he’d see when he wasn’t in the best shape

and it would encourage him to keep going

wow that’s equally heartbreaking and adorable

ok don’t fight me on this we all know it’s a thing

he would have plants. eve ry wh ere

like there wouldn’t be a single fake plant in there

but he loved them bc he felt like it made the air fresher??? like it supplied more oxygen in the room which made it easier to breathe when he was feeling anxious??

(idk i can’t really explain it but that’s how i feel when i get anxious so i feel like it would help him too)

but it would range from huge ass borderline trees to succlents the size of his thumb nail

he would have s o many succulents

he would name them all

aaaaaaaAaAAAA

and each of his friends would have a plant named after them

even though it was small he really loved his apartment

bc he worked really hard to be able to pay for it and buy the furniture and stuff

so it was like his baby

yeah that’s my boy evan handsoap!

connor:

connor’s apartment would actually be pretty big

like everything would be super super high quality and nice

he would so have a recliner chair

you know the one i’m talking about okay

and he would spend most of his time in there

even though he def has a huge nice sectional

(btw most of his furniture is black)

when evan would come over he wouldn’t want to get up out of it

but even always wanted to cuddle

so the first time evan was like “con come over hereee”

connor just scooched over

and evan was like “??”

but just went over to him

and they were kinda squished but they loved it

bc they were so close to eachother

AW IM SCREECHING

but yeah they would love to cuddle on the recliner

his kitchen would be p nice too

like he would have a weirdly high tech fridge and a really nice oven and stuff

but if u opened the fridge there would just be like a half dranken (that is nOT a word) bottle of mountain dew, a cheese stick, and maybe on a good day some random leftovers

(btw idk why but i see his parents buying him most of the stuff in his apartment,, this doesn’t really make sense when i think about it but i can’t not do it what am i saing now awioehfdlsnk)

his room would be nice

he would have a big bed with a black and white plaid duvet cover

omg evan would l o v e his bed

like evan of course loves his own bed but connor’s is just so comfy

(plus connor’s bed also has connor)

(anywho)

his walls would be like a greyish blue color

but his furniture would still be all black

he would have a big desk and he always kept sticky notes around for evan to doodle on if he ever got anxious

and he has an entire drawer in his dresser just for his hair ties because he has an unhealthy amount of them

at all times

partly because he wants to keep his hair up sometimes

but partly because he always wears one around his wrist to snap when he gets mad or can’t control his emotions

and he always ends up loosing them

oh also his shower in his bathroom would be BOMB like im talking it has one of those little ledge chair thingies

and the water pressure is a plus

and evan’s shower at his apartment is like sucky so he always just showers at connors

(i mean this in the least innapropriate way possible btw jus clearing that up)

but connor would spend SO much time there

so would evan tbh

so yeh

jared:

ok guys

hear me out on this one

but i feel like jared would have a surprisingly nice apartment??

like,,, actually very nice

they would all love hanging out there when they were all together

the first time he asked them over they were like “… u sure”

they were expecting to walk into something that looked like a super crappy hotel room with garbage all over

but they walked in and were like “jared what the fuk”

because this place was nice

like,, , he would always have the most food out of all of them

(which wasn’t saying much but still)

he would have a big nice couch with lots of extra like beanbags all over

they would all have their own that they used

and his tv would be poppin okay

he would have his old wii hooked up to it

and they would constantly have mario kart tournaments

jared always insisted on being wario

for the Memes™

he would be the only one out of all of them with an amazon fire stick so they would always watch movies all together at his house

and sometimes they would just randomly take it without telling him

(i’m looking at u connor)

and he wouldn’t notice for a few days but when he did he went cRAZY

but anyway

his room would b supa cool

he would have a really nice bed

omg he would have like video game and other nerd stuff posters e v e r y w h e r e

like everywhere

little to no wall space for anything elsee

every once in a while he would go through his camera roll and print the pictures that he liked the best to hang up on his wall

hear me out bc this is gonna sound weird

he would probably have a dead meme shrine in one of the corners of the wall on the bottom

that he started as a joke with connor and zoe once but it jst spiraled out of control until every dead meme was recognized as soon as it went out

he would have a tv in his room

not as good as his one in the living room but still

he has two tvs what even jared

that’s where he would put his xbox

and he would game all night man

ah i love jared sm

ok that’s it hope u enjoyed ahhahah

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babypadawan · 8 years ago

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ya’ll mind if I... write a long ass emotional post??

alright so my life has been pretty tumultuous for the past 2 years, since my mom first became sick with (we would later learn) neurosarcoidosis. she can’t work anymore, and when it first happened I was in college and almost done. but I had to leave in the middle of a semester after my mom had brain surgery to care for her and my little sister. I ended up going back but my degree track was too derailed to complete my diploma. they let me walk, since I only had two classes missing, which was very bittersweet because it was a typical movie spring graduation but I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be able to come back to complete it for a long time, possibly forever. anyway my mom was there which was what truly mattered to me at the time so that was nice.

but before that we didn’t know what was wrong with her and I was 2 hours away at school with no car and no way to get home hearing stories about how she fell down stairs and passed out for days and my little sister almost getting taken by CPS and me thinking, believing, my mom was going to die while I was away. when she finally got diagnosed and the right surgery it lightened the load a bit. but she’s depressed because she can’t work or do most of the things she used to do.

which mean things fall to me. I do everything. cook, clean, grocery shopping, taking my sister to dance class, and every little thing in between. my mom can’t walk without assistance, and barely leaves the house without me. she’s in pain a lot. the disease sits on her spine, her brain. it produces pain in strange ways that we’re used to now.

we were homeless, for 5 months. somewhere between the surgeries and rehab and graduation, the landlord allowed the house to go into foreclosure, and kept it from us until the bank that bought it posted eviction notices on our doors and windows. not like I couldve kept us afloat with my under minimum wage job. so away went our lives, to be stored in a uhaul storage container til we found a place. turns out, handicapped housing is hard to find in my city. family, a term I use loosely now, turned a blind eye to us. maybe they felt they had helped too much during the pre diagnosis days, when I was giving college it’s titular try. one did though, my mother’s grandmother (my mom and I each tried staying with friends, which lasted no more than a week. we are no longer speaking to those respective “friends”).

it was cramped, and dusty. other family members tried to tell my great gram to kick us out, to not jeopardize her place in public housing, the ones that acknowledged us, at least. we were put on a list for public housing back when we still had a roof over our heads. and 130 days without a home, we were finally given one, in the projects. which, okay, 4 walls and a roof is really amazing when youve been without, but I had grown up in the projects and was really liking the “project baby moves out, goes to college, makes something of herself” narrative I THOUGHT I was following. ha.

I was able to get a job that wasn’t bad for the most part. and we thought, finally, we’d be able to save. someone had tried helping us so I could get paid to be my mother’s caregiver and so my income wouldn’t be included in the rent. but apparently, in my state, you can’t be related to someone and be their caregiver with untouched income. which means now, on top of paying the bulk of the bills, I’ll have to come up with ~600 in rent every month. so much for saving money to get us out!!

but wait, if I’m a full time student, my income won’t be counted. okay, can’t go finish my credits bc it’s only 2 classes which isn’t even full time. so I looked at a list of government subsidized education programs and decided on web design since I’m on the internet so much. only, I was a poor student when I first graduated high school and was given loans, and the government only has so much conditional money to bestow on the poor. so I can’t get a pell grant, or loans. SO in order to be a full time student to not pay an impossible rent, I have to pay out of pocket. or find an under the table job, though that would mean more time away from home and I need to be there to help my mom with fucking everything.

so... barring me actually writing a book, and that book being popular enough that people buy it, and that whole chain of events, excepting a lottery win (which is just as likely tbh), I will be poor and struggling, forever. poverty is a vicious cycle. the government doesn’t allow you to have more than 2k in your bank account without going back to charge you more money. and I guess we could lie, but that time has long past and any lie to the government would prob result in little help but more harm.

my ex said something to me I’ll never forget. he said that I’ll always be poor, and I’d always have nothing. I lost a lot of friends when my mom got sick, I was sad and angry and anxious and was betrayed a couple of times so he was all I had. and hearing that broke something inside of me. or, shined a light on an already broken part of me. and maybe he was right, but what scares me the most is the thought that everyone else thinks the same way too.

this is the most I’ve talked about what happened to anyone, and that’s why. i opened up to my ex and showed him my cracks and he told me they were too much to bear. I’m afraid to tell anyone about my situation, because I’m afraid of that judgement. of being seen as a burden. I didn’t choose this life. I thought I was gonna graduate college and get my own apartment, or room with one of my friends, until I finally met The One. now I can barely have a conversation with people because I’m afraid we might touch on something that will reveal too much, or start a line of questioning that only leads to embarrassment for me.

and i guess I’m really sad. and angry. and anxious, still. but it’s evolved. I’m lonely, but I’m afraid to connect. I’m angry because I didn’t choose this life and because of it, my own has been thrown in the air. I can’t imagine having a kid now. how would I push its stroller and my mom’s wheelchair? and I’m anxious about money. will I have enough to pay car insurance? to pay the phone bill? rent? oh and I’ve been out of school for 6 months now so I have to pay back student loans from my incomplete degree.

I try to think about my life 5 years from now and all I see is me, living at home, single, struggling. what guy will want a girl with all this baggage? I very clearly need help, but I’m too proud and pissed off to ask for it. family turned their cheeks. friends were mean snakes. I’ve become so much stronger since this all began, and I’m fiercely independent. I do everything myself, with an attitude yes, but I’m moving the heavy shit and figuring out how to fix shit. because if I don’t do it, it’s not getting done. I resent the charity case that is my life. I always wanted to move out of my city, and carve out my own little place somewhere in this world. I saw myself as a different breed than most of the girls from my city. I didn’t want to settle down early, I wanted to explore. I never bothered to make roots because I never thought I’d stay long.

I just don’t know where to go from here. how to crawl out of this whole I was pushed into. how to make a life worth living despite everything making it feel like it’s not.

#damn this is like the emotional equivalent to taking a big shit #my life #if you were wondering what my deal has been for the past 2 years these are the cliff notes #if you make it to the end of this congrats you have won: secondhand depression

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furiousharmonykryptonite-blog1 · 6 years ago

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Brilliant Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43913

"Brilliant Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43913

Brilliant Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43913

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What is a good affordable dental, health, car, & life insurance?""

Insurance rates for 17 yr olds?

Since insurance rates are ridiculously high for new drivers like me, I was thinking that if my parents could possibly buy a car for me to drive but put it under their name, and have it insured under their name so its cheaper since they're much older and have a lower insurance rate than I would. But I heard someone said that somehow insurance companies find this out and somehow find a way around this so the tactic i just suggested won't work. Anybody have any experience with this?""

Car insurance/Car warranty advice!?

Okay...so my husband has a 2004 Subaru WRX - bought from a private dealer. We have a car loan from our bank with no extended warranty. Our insurance is through Harleysville and we have to have full coverage on it so it's kinda pricey since his car is under the performance class. My car, is a 2006 Subaru Impreza 2.5i - just bought last month from a dealership with extended 5 year/60,000 warranty on powertrain (engine areas) and drive train (AWD) (?) something like that and is not bumper to bumper. We also have a car loan from the bank. The thing is, I have our car insurance on low deductibles making our monthly premiums high. I was thinking, since I have warranty on my car, the deductibles can be higher with a lower monthly premium since I have warranty from the dealer. Although, the warranty is only on powertrain and drive train, if I get tboned or scratches, then yes, I would have to pay a higher deductible to get my car fixed. What is the best thing to do? Right now, both our cars are at about $240/mo for our insurance premiums. We are safe drivers, never had an accident or speeding ticket. We are clear as of now! What are you opinions and thoughts... Would really appreciate it!""

""When you buy a car, what payments do you to pay and how much would insurance be for a 17 yr old?""

When you buy a car, what payments do you to pay and how much would insurance be for a 17 yr old?""

How much would full coverage insurance cost?

I want to get a car loan to buy this 2004 Hyundai Tiburon. I'm 18, I've been in one accident. Around how much a month?""

Brilliant Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43913

Insurance pricing?

i bought a car and need to put plpd insurance on it but i do not have much money and have a lot of points on my lisence i am over the aloud amount in my state. how much would it cost for plpd insurance? i need the cheapest possible and my car is 17 years old and is only worth $200.

What happens when your employment insurance ends?

i am receiving regular benefits at the moment because i got laid-off but i want to know what happens when it ends..can i still apply for another one since i submitted only one record of employment to service Ontario but i have records of employment from my previous work can i use that one to claim another?

Who knows about car insurance?

How much would it cost for a teenager to have car insurance on a Mustang?

""If you are a 22 year old male, please reply telling me how much your full coverage car insurance is. Details!?""

If you are a 22 year old male, please reply telling me how much your full coverage car insurance is. Details!?""

Changing address on car insurance?

hi my new car insurance is due tomorrow and i will be using the following websites to get quotes and pay: go compare money supermarket confused.com now i needed to know if i can add a different address for the documents to be sent to, so basically i will pay for it at my address but how can i send the documents over to my other address?? (i think this is known as correspondent address) thanks for any help.""

""When changing auto insurance companies, am I bound by law to show the new policy to the old insurance company?""

Say, today is 1st Feb'09. I had an auto policy (from Farmers) that expired on 1st Jan'09. Today, I buy a new policy from a different insurance company(AAA). When I discontinue service with Farmers, am I bound to show the new insurance policy to them? Also, will I get charged for the period from 1st Jan'09 to 31st Jan'09 by Farmers?""

How can I get car liability insurance without USA drivers' license?

I am a foreign citizen and we would like to buy a car in San Francisco for a cross country trip. The only problem seems to be the car liability coverage insurance, which is obligatory to have when driving. How the others do, who make such trip? Are there insurance companies offering daily rates, or periodical packages with not American drivers' license? Car rental places offer liability insurance for 12.99 per day, so I think of something, like that. Thank you for the responses. Zsolt""

Cheapest car insurance for a 21 year old 2002 Mazda protege 5?

Live in Ajax Ontario, and I also have 2 suspensions non alcohol related""

Can i transfer moped insurance from one bike to another ?

ive got insurance on my piaggio fly 50cc which expires august this year, i can no longer drive this bike as i accidently got super glue all around the breaks and throttle and it wont budge, im going to maybe buy a new moped today for 300 and was just wondering if i get this do i have to cancel my old insurance and get a new quote and pay all that money again or cani just ring my insurance company and transfer it from my old bike to my new bike? thanks for any help! :)""

Open car insurance policy?

My dad is looking at buying me a 200 car to use but so far the cheapest insurance I can find is 4.5 grand. I have heard about open insurance policies and was wondering if my dad got the car and policy in his name would it work out cheaper for me to drive it like that? Also what companies do these policies and how would I go about getting one?

How do young teens without insurance afford child birth?

I am just curious. My old ex GF had 3 kids before age 21. One of which ended up needed urgent care after birth and died in the hospital a few days later. So the hospital stays were definitely not cheap. She has no insurance, no parents have insurance either and arent in her life at all. I am curious as to how she ended up paying for all this? My guess is that she is in serious credit card debt for all this but I wanted to know how this is possible? Any opinions?""

HHEELLLPP!!!!! with TEEN car insurance!!?

I would like to either add a 17 year old to an insurance policy or get one specifically for him..... i called geico, but they said they dont insure teens!!! What can i do? THANKS""

Am I too young to have life insurance?

The reason why I am asking this question is because some people have told me that I am too young to have life insurance. I am 22 years old getting ready to get married next month and my fiance and I have a 18 month old. I also work full-time making a comfortable salary and I am also in school part-time. I am the breadwinner because my fiance is in medical school. I am looking to save for the long run and cut expenses where I can. I currently have a 401-k where my employer matches me 6%. I currently pay 50 a month for a 400k policy and also have a policy through my employer which is free. I was told that 50 a month for my life insurance is a good price because of my age and could be higher if I smoked and were older. I just need some advice guys

Best deal and coverage on auto insurance?

I just bought a new 2013 Ford Fiesta yesterday and only had liability on my previous 20 year old car. I am needing to get full coverage on my new vehicle and am wondering what the best rates and coverage are out there? What car insurance do you have? Is it good? I currently have AAA but am researching others. They're wanting about $100/mth. Ps: I am a 28 year old teacher with a clean driving record and live in Orange Cty, Ca.""

So confused bout car insurance.....?

i want to save a little money by switching my car insurance! i have allstate insurance and pay for 2 cars 786 every 6 months.both my husband and i have good driving records and are over 50. to me this seems like a lot of money. our cars are not high performance cars. why so much? geico quoted me a policy of 404 every 6 months,but i don't know if they are good or too good to be true! anybody out there have any feed back for me?? Thanks""

Can someone explain the difference between Health Insurance and any other Insurance?

I don't understand why people act like health insurance is so radically differently than other insurance. Is it? Insurance is a form of risk management to hedge against loss. Auto, Life, Homeowners, Unemployment and Health are among the types of insurance you can buy. I'm generally not required to buy any of those insurances. If I have the title to my home, I'm not required to have homeowners insurance. If I don't drive a car, I'm not required to carry auto insurance. Why should I be forced to buy health insurance? If I want to take that or any gamble by not buying insurance, isn't that my choice? I will admit that by not purchasing health insurance, I could be putting a burden on others if I was admitted to the ER and couldn't pay, that burden of payment would fall on others. HOWEVER, that burden would be there whether I was forced to carry insurance or not. If I don't make enough money to buy this mandatory insurance, then the gov't will give me tax credits to purchase insurance. Who's paying for those tax credits? All of the tax payers. So either we pay the providers/insurance companies via higher premiums to cover loss, or we pay the gov't via taxes. Forcing (perhaps unconstitutionally) citizens to purchase health insurance won't solve anything, it will just move where the cost is incurred. But please, explain why people are treating health insurance so differently.""

Long term car insurance abroad?

I need to leave UK for 3-4 months and I need car insurance for my car. Currently I have Elephant insurance but they only offer 30 consecutive days for driving abroad but I need longer than that. Is there other company which can insure for longer than 90 days? Or what do you usually do? Can I insure car with local insurance companies if I have UK registration? Thank you

Afordable health insurance for a person diognotis hep-c?

helth care provder

How does motorcycle insurance work?

Okay, I want to finance a motorcycle. I understand that by financing you have to have full coverage until it's paid off. But my question is, do you need to buy the insurance and have it already before going to buy the bike? Or can you go buy the bike, and ride it home, THEN get the insurance for it? Or do you have to haul it home if you don't have the insurance working yet? How does this work? Thanks a bunch!""

How Much is insurance on a fox body mustang?

I really want a fox body mustang and i want to see how much it would cost. It will be my first car and i really want to know before i go car shopping.

Will my Car Rental include insurance?

I'm hiring a car in Texas from Avis, it says it Includes Unlimited mileage, CUSTOMER FAC FEE, TRANSPORTATION FEE, VEH LICENSE FEE, Additional Liability Insurance (ALI), Collision Damage Waiver (CDW) - does this mean I won't have to arrange my own car insurance (I live in the UK) to cover driving the hire car abroad?""

Auto insurance debt reported on credit reports?

I changed my auto insurance from progressive to some other company.yesterday i got a call from collections that i owe progressive money.Is this reported on credit. Also do i have to pay them? I had insurance quote from them for 6 months but i found cheaper one so i moved. I live in california. Thank you

Is forced placed insurance acceptable when asked if i have insurance ?

gettin new auto insurance

How can i move and keep my old states insurance??

I plan to move to Ny and i got a quote from my car insurance company and it is ridiculously high. Is there a way to keep my insurance without changing it to where i plan to move to?

How much Motorcycle Insurance 18 year old Texas?

How much is Motorcycle Insurance for an 18 or 19 year old in Texas? Preferably Allstate?

Brilliant Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43913

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