#words don’t come easy
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Happy 3 years of ARB!
#self ship#self insert#oc x Canon#hypmic#self shipping#nart time#words don’t come easy#very proud of this so it gets to be posted here yeehaw
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making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it
(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)
episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice
i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)
episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement
this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶
episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement
the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them
episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement
augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin
episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement
i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!
episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles
i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy
episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia
STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you
episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"
RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry
episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam
they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material
episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice
does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.
episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen
dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard
episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice
she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her
episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen
each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(
episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement
theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh
episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway
episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers
episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen
episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1
episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive
episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(
episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.
episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.
episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full
episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3
episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over
episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY
episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO
episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude
episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭
episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.
#honorable mentions:#“canaries should stay above ground” because holy shit (1)#“i don’t scare so easy these days” because oh my god its our celia (7)#“i like them”/“of course you do” because weeping weeping weeping (8)#“oh no not again! oh the horrors! nooooo” that one was just really funny and not exactly part of the episode (9)#“can he read?” (10) bc it enforces the gwen/jon parallels (“you dont sound?? russian??”)#“the deep will care for his bones” (11) it creeped me out and i loved it#“the cover had this awful comic sans title 'mr. bonzo's on his way'” (12) comic sans font was so funny it almost made it not horrific#“I have a baby. Jack. He’s just over a year old now.” (13) like BARNABAS. i know him.#“The only drama is the dilemma of how I could possibly get by without you all to myself!” (14) alice.... alice....#“Oh no! Who keeps taking Georgie’s face?!” (18) SHE'S BACKKKKKKK#''I swear if I hear one more word about Trevor-bloody-Herbert MP I am going to blow up Parliament.'' (27) because WHAT LMAO??? WHATTT#''when I first awoke I knew nothing nothing but the dream of things that sliced my who from me with claws like scalpels'' (30) i cried#''They’re gone Alice. They’re gone.'' (30) tweaking#''What happens now? You push me? Stab me? Or do I need to jump in myself? Come on what’s stopping you?'' (30)#can i just put the whole episode in honorable mentions too atp.#''We are the hilltop. It is me and I am it and we are. We are…'' (30)#''Yeah sure. Sorry to bother you. Goodbye Alice.'' (30)#okay i'm done#i can't i .. i ..#the magnus protocol#tmagp#magnus protocol#tmagp spoilers#tmagp season 1#the magnus pod
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no one wants him to be harry
just because something is hard for you it doesn’t mean is not easy generally speaking
why don’t you go get whipped or slapped or whatever it is you do and stop talking nonsense
Why are y’all so fucking obsessed with my sex life akfkakfkakf is it cause you don’t have sex???
#and don’t give me that ‘you talk about it a lot’ cause I know I don’t#and since you CLEARLY have issues with me you’d only know that if you fucking followed me or checked in on me more often#also also I’ve spoken with Louies before#y’all absolutely want him to be Harry’s level of fame#i believe I was once directly told ‘what’s so wrong with wanting him to play the same venues as Harry’#y’all use Louis as your stand in for feeling important in 1D fandom#and solos have ALWAYS pushed YOUR expectations on him#because (again this is something I have been directly told by solos) you want to be able to tell people who you life#and get fucking validation for it#you don’t want to feel ‘weird’ or ‘judged’ for liking someone less mainstream#and that’s something y’all are gonna have to learn to cope with#there is gonna come a time in your life where you tell people the stuff you life#and no one is gonna know what they are#AND GUESS WHAT#THATS OKAY#also also#words mean something#and if something is HARD for someone that generally means it is NOT easy#but I feel like that isn’t something you’ve gotten to in your school lessons yet
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Loudest Silence
YA contemporary
a newly Deaf-Hard of hearing girl moves across the country and starts a new school, struggling with navigating her disability and love for singing and lost friendships - determined to not make any new friends for the year she’s in Florida
and a boy struggling with family expectations and anxiety, after being made the fútbal captain even though he secretly ways to be on broadway, who quickly befriends her
bi & aroace-coded MCs
#The Loudest Silence#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#hm this was okay! it’s a sweet and light YA contemporary focusing on friendship and disability.#It’s a little cheesy; and I liked the immediate easy friendship (well; after a few false starts) and how welcoming Hayden's#friend group/family were. I like how they all jumped to learning/practicing ASL.#I liked how Casey was dealing with her newfound Deafness with a lot of positivity - the main frustrations being how other people treat her#but there’s also the underlying isolation and grief. At the same time it didn't go as deep as it could have with that?#The friendship is central to the story - but honestly I feel like Casey and Hayden’s relationship doesn’t develop past ‘they’re friends now#[continues other subplots] - it ends up being a bit telling not showing their friendship. And then she gets a love interest.#I feel like if you’re centering your book on being a platonic love story - rare in YA! - giving one a love interest kinda goes against#what’s supposed to be unique about it? Like it wasn’t overwhelming and I thought it was sweet actually; I just didn’t come here for that.#I always find it a little odd when YA contemporary books don’t explicitly name their aroace characters as aroace -#obviously I prefer an exploration of experiences to just using the word and nothing else; but in this genre; why not both?#considering various other identity labels are used and discussed there were various points where it felt like it was walking circles#around where it would be obvious to say “no I’m aroace” lmao?#And there’s a point where Casey mentions seeing an ace sticker on his guitar - the only reason it wasn’t an aroace sticker is bc#that would have ruined the minor subplot of her assuming he’s gay/dating his other friend. It felt like a slightly odd way to mention it?#but also I guess I appreciate it being evident throughout but also being a non-issue plot wise - while there’s a couple of moments#of people making romantic assumptions about them;for the most part it’s just treated normally for a boy & girl to be friends (as it should!#It does get points for mentioning people watching by conan grey LMAO (not that it really explores him feeling that way specifically;#but I mean same lol)#Overall plot-wise - there were kind of a lot of things going on and it petered out a bit? I wanted some more depth in some areas.#Also I feel like some of the references seemed out of date for current teens haha.#i do love the love for unusual pets (hairless cat and iguana)#aroace books#bisexual books
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“OSCAHHHHH”
#OSCAR!!! You look… I don’t know how to explain! no words can come out of my mouth but Moans are pretty easy#MY GOOD LOOKING BOY!#Mr pastry#i love you#and might I add how refreshing it is to see you not wearing that same mclaren shirt with those shorts although o love seeing your legs#it’s just that this is different!!!#and I like different I love different#and Oscar you are so easy to love#OSCAHHHH#in that one Lando voice#oscar piastri#f1
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uh oh! cynthia angst in my brain!! watch out!!
#coming to an ao3 near you#probably within the next day tbh it’s like actually so vivid in my brain the words are so easy#i will probably tag it as lynthia as it is included but it’s definitely cynthia centered and there are other dynamics in play that are a#a wee bit more prominent#so if there’s something else i should tag those dynamics please let me know#i don’t know how ao3 tagging words#bonk thoughts#rotpl#cynthia zdunowski
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oh well
#we tried#T and i broke up for the last time#if i think about contacting him before october 2025 shoot me in both my kneecaps im so for real#the reasonings are infuriatingly valid#his mom has cancer his grandfather is dying and so now he’s the patriarch of his massive family#both his mother and grandfathers homes were basically destroyed in the hurricane#his autoimmune disorder is flaring bc of the stress and last time that happened he had to shave his head and he wanted to off himself#and we are simply not compatible enough to make a relationship easy#but good god his delivery fucking sucked#we were having a rly nice night together and then i left to buy him decongestants bc he’s sick#i come back 20 mins later and he says ‘i don’t want to be your boyfriend’#oh! cool! an ‘this isn’t going to work’ would’ve sufficed#did i type girlfriend? i can’t see the tag im on my phone#he said i don’t want to be your boyfriend#it’s the words ‘want’ and ‘your’ here that rly art hurting me
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Me: And here’s the tag for the ship week! It’s on all the graphics, it’s posted in the FAQ/guidelines, I’ve been using it on my posts. Just please use this tag so that I can easily find your work
Y’all, every ship week, without fail:
#babsbles#the weeks over so I can complain now right? lmao#if you’re actually reading these tags please be prepared for how annoying my brain is when it comes to things that don’t matter#this isn’t about anyone in particular this has happened for the past three that I’ve run#the way tumblrs filtering and following system works is that you have to be EXACT with the tag#so that’s why the week tag always has no spaces—to be easy to filter while not immediately filtering everything in the ship tag#(bc any individual word you put in a tag shows up when searching the tag ex: tagging ‘not bb’ on a post still puts it in the bb tag)#plus it’s easier for me to tell when someone WANTS their post on the ship week blog#but I never count on people wanting to make up their own tag and then I have to go find it#I get really drained by the fourth day so I stop hunting for people using the wrong tag
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*crawls out of my isolation cave. slaps a 10 thousand word document on the ground. passes out.*
#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#Everything Stays#I FUCKING DID IT#4 days and 10.6k words later chapter 4 of ES is finally fully written. holy shit why was that such a struggle#turns out returning to a story after 4-5 months of absence means it takes a little while to really get back into it! who’d’ve guessed!#like. i didn’t mean to abandon it like that!!! but once it’s been a while it’s easy for A While to turn into A Very Long Time#writing is like playing Animal Crossing. miss one day and u don’t do it again for 6 months#(or. not quite that extreme but u know what i mean)#anyways. i’m excited!!! like i still gotta do the final edit and get it drafted up on Ao3#but the hard part is over! and it’s done in time to be able to post it on the date later this month that i planned!!!#so yeah. ES Ch.4 coming at u all Quite Soon™️#(i mean if ur a big enough DCA fan u can probably guess what date i’m waiting to post it on. but i’m still gonna act like it’s a surprise)
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youtube
💭 #ThoughtInTheNight THE JOY AND HAPPINESS THAT I FEEL IS SUCH THAT MY WHOLE BEING SEEMS BECOME MUTE. THE WORDS TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS DON’T COME EASY. HOW DO I TELL YOU THAT MY LIFE IS MUCH BETTER SINCE THE DAY THAT I TOLD YOU HOW I FELT? HOW TO EXPRESS THAT I NEED TO LOVE YOU TO FEEL ALIVE? HOW DO I TELL YOU THAT THERE’S NO ME WITHOUT YOU? SO TENDER ARE MY THOUGHTS OF YOU… EVEN MY MEMORY LOVES YOU… MY LOVE FOR YOU IS BEYOND OF MY HEART AND MY MIND, IS IN THE DEEPEST OF MY SOUL. YOU LIVE IN MY HEART, IN MY MIND AND IN MY SOUL… FOREVER. WHEN THE NIGHT SEEMS LONG… MY HEART AND MY SOUL CALLS OUT FOR YOU… IF I KNOW WHAT “TRUE LOVE” IS, IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU. I LOVE YOU IN A WAY YOU’VE NEVER BEEN LOVED, FOR REASONS YOU’VE SURELY NEVER BEEN TOLD… AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW EXISTS INSIDE MY HEART AND MY SOUL. WHAT’S LOVE? … LOVE IS ALL… IT’S YOU. HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU? I LOVE YOU INFINITE… FOREVER AND EVER ❤
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🌟🌟🌟🌟
#self ship#self insert#oc x canon#i Like this one. you know what that means. (sprinkles crumbs onto this shell of a blog)#nart time#words don’t come easy
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ITS BEEN A MONTH SINCE TLLR CHAPTER 11????? WHAT
#wyrms says stuff#SORRY ITS TAKING FOREVER TO WRITE HOLY SHIT???#i thought it had been like 2 weeks or something#dude i’m actually sorry it’s taking so long to get chapters out#BUT like the next three chapters are all around 2/3 of the way done#i miss those phases where writing becomes sooooo so so easy for me and i write like 3k words a day#i’ve never been able to like stick with a writing schedule#my energy for writing comes and goes as it pleases and it’s been like that all my life. drawing comes naturally#it never bothered me before that i’d just not write for a few months at a time and then suddenly get motivation#to write a shit ton of stuff at once in rapid succession#and it sucks because forcing myself to sit down and write is hard it just doesn’t come super naturally like drawing does.#like forcing myself to draw can be a lot of fun and it’s easy. but honestly i don’t chose when my brain tells me it’s writing time#but that’s probably not a good thing huh#and also i’m like?? SUPER SUPER excited about some of the chapters coming up?? like chapter 14 is THE chapter i’ve been most excited about#since i started this series. AND ITS BASICALLY ALREADY WRITTEN TOO#the parts in between are hard to figure out i’ve realized#and also hard to give myself motivation to write them. im basically just annoyed that writing doesn’t come as naturally as art does for me#and that ever since i started actually writing about my own ocs like 6 years ago#i’ve only been able to write in short bursts of a few months at a time#it’s annoying but it’s a good challenge for me to overcome. i just have to sit down and write and then i’ll get that motivation back#the next chapter should be done very very soon!!!
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Sometimes I think men find me “easy to talk to” because they forget that I’m a woman. And then when they do, they flip out on me. And I’m kinda fed up with it.
#tiger’s roar#I can’t help what I look like so maybe get over it#and accept that YEAH WOMEN CAN have inner lives and prefer being direct and dorks too#are. we. friends. or. not.#and if that’s not the ‘problem’ then GET OVER YOURSELF and maybe try giving initiating open communication yourself a try#but yeah. THIS comes up A LOT with other men too#I’m either objectified or ‘surprisingly easy’ to talk to#and yeah. FOR ONCE. I thought I had a friend. attraction be damned#and as far as attraction went. FINALLY adored vs objectified#and I was FINE not ‘doing anything about it.’ life happens. and maybe I wanted to grow the friendship more ANYWAY#but. ‘manage expectations’ are you KiDDING me#maybe YOU need to not project YOUR demons onto me and put words in my mouth!#do you believe me or not#what even IS a friendship to you#or are you JUST like EVERYONE ELSE#assuming shit about me. only finding me ‘easy to talk to’ because I don’t ACT ‘like a woman’#if that’s not it? then find your nerve and PROVE ME WRONG#JUST ONCE. PROVE ME WRONG#because my actual so-called ‘expectations’ are ACTUALLY damn universal and fucking LOW#not whatever the hell you think they are
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.
#anyway the most exciting conversation I had today was explaining how I managed to fuck up the dog’s haircut#(he’s squirmy that’s it that’s the reason)#moving on though the main issue is I still need like. the crutch of being online almost#and I guess even though it feels awkward and lowkey uncool I’m glad there are apps for people just looking to find friends#downside is I can forget they’re there bc the notifs don’t work great#or I panic because I’m too hyper aware of myself with new people. why can’t this be easy what’s wrong with me#I get embarrassed by how much longer my replies are than the other person’s#I can’t help it I guess#if it’s short I feel like it’s coming off inauthentic so I overcorrect#but then conversation kinda fizzles anyway. which is okay! not everyone will be a winner and that’s fine#I know this and it makes me feel slightly better#still I just feel like. dumb I guess. in all these interactions.#that’s the word. because I’m perfectly comfortable with myself until I feel like i start to notice That Change in someoneone#anyone else who gets told they give off Uncanny Valley energy knows what this is.#like I can tell I did something wrong but on paper I did everything right#and I just kinda fold every time. bc there’s usually no salvaging a conversation past that point.#it’s Not that it’s easier to be alone bc I’m not having a good time clearly but something drives me to keep going despite it all#idk it’s stupid I wish I could just cut this feeling out and detach completely#I know it wouldn’t bother me to be pushed slowly away at least.#I’d really be the person who solved the lament configuration just to Hang Out lmao#I wish I didn’t make posts like these here btw.#that also makes me feel dumb but it’s like if I don’t at least put this down somewhere it’d be worse#I think tomorrow I’ll clean a bit. it’ll be something to do that has a visible result.#not like anything else that’s going on lol
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do u ever just write an entire fic in your head word for word like you’re writing it on paper except you’re just physically not and then once you finish you forget every word of it and then want to scream
#ITS NOT FAIR#the words come so easy in my head😭 but now i can’t write it bc i don’t remeber what i said to myself jfjfjfjfjf#help#*
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> did the thing i’ve been procrastinating for a year and a half
#AUGH.#turns out those questions were ridiculously easy#literally german one material#but again my problem is less that i don’t know the language and more that ‘dawg i don’t remember a specific good day from my childhood???’#i remember specific bad memories and i remember general good vibes#but human memory doesn’t really jot down positive things of note#at least not in my experience#ok i lied i am a bit lacking in vocabulary too. thank you leo.org#i just didn’t trust myself to pronounce certain words correctly tho LOLLLL#also uuuuuhhh. ‘limit each response to 2 minutes’ bud the entire comprehensive audio file was just under two minutes 🤡#i said what i said ok. hope that’s enough#i said what i had enough time to think of on the fly#45 minutes is not that long#<- finished 11 minutes early bc aaaah panic no time!!!#whatever. let’s see if my responses were good enough to qualify me for a higher german class#(registration opens tomorrow and this will NOT have been graded by then. ah well)#i register very early for my grade so hopefully i can just leave a class out and come back to it later once i get my results#who knows maybe if i do pass this test i might test out of having to take a language class at all#allegedly#i am. not as good at speaking as i used to be#but i’m also not as bad as i thought i’d be#peach rambles
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