#Thanks for coming to my Ted talk and I’ll try not to get mad and rant here again

[mintandcreme]

Kpop fans gotta be rage bait sometimes because how does everyone including my own fandom manage to piss me off so bad?

[zer0brainc3lls]

Dps yap session about how Todd’s relationship with Neil and Mr Keating (mainly Neil) grew his character because I’ll never stop thinking about it (spoilers for the book)

In the movie we all know Todd has issues with public speaking but in the book, it’s not just public speaking. It’s speaking to almost anyone in general. He stutters and pauses between sentences, even being unable to finish what he’s trying to say.

“I… would…. Prefer…. Rowing….. sir,” - Todd “rowing? Did he say rowing? But here it says you played soccer at Balincrest?” - Mr Nolan “I…. Did…. But….” - Todd

The dots are not exaggerated if you haven’t read the book. That’s how it’s shown. Now he doesn’t speak to everyone like this, mainly if he’s asked about an opinion or something of that nature, despite this he speaks softly almost all the time in the start of the book.

But as time goes on and he becomes closer to the dead poets + Mr Keating he opens up, he may not speak much in meetings and in classes doing anything publicly still scared him but he opens up more nonetheless.

Towards the halfway/end of the book he watches Neil find his own voice through acting, standing up to his father and watching Neil grow confident in himself he too becomes more confident. Even putting a lamp shade over his head just for fun, in front of people, being silly. (The lamp shade part is never talked about omg.)

When Neil is performing he even mouthes the lines to himself, even though he knows Neil needed no help. And at the end of the play TODD starts the standing ovation (I think? He’s definitely one of the first.) with a smile on his face, no embarrassment, no shame. Just happy for his best friend for standing up and finally being himself.

This was never shown in the movies but after the play he reaches out for Neil, trying to tell him how well he did and when Mr Perry’s car drives off he screams Neil’s name. In front of a crowd of people.

After the car scene they go back to the cave, not just the dead poets, Chris is there to (someone Todd barely knows!!!) and you know what Todd does? He expresses his anger. In full.

“Todd suddenly jumped up and pounded the walls with his fists. ‘Next time I see Neil's father I'm gonna smash him. I don't care what happens to me!’ ” after this, HE RECITES A POEM IN FRONT OF ALL HIS FRIENDS, MR KEATING AND CHRIS. (THIS WHOLE CAVE SCENE WAS SUCH A PIVOTAL MOMENT FOR TODDS CHARACTER IM SO MAD THEY FUCKING CUT IT)

Todd gained his own voice watching Neil and the dead poets gain theirs.

Then Neil died.

After Neil died? Todd lost his voice. Almost. He almost went back to stumbling his words, he almost went back to speaking softly. But whenever someone tried to speak ill of Neil or Mr Keating? HE WAS ON THEIR CASE.

“You don’t seriously think his father…” -knox “not with the gun! Damn it even if the bastard didn’t pull the trigger he..” - Todd

“ ‘Who else do you think, dumbo? The administration? Mr. Perry? Keating put us up to all this, didn't he? If it wasn't for him, Neil would be cozied up in his room right now, studying his chemistry and dreaming of being called doctor.’ - Cameron ‘That's not true! Mr. Keating tell Neil what to do. Neil loved acting.’ - Todd

And in the books he took a large punishment instead of signing the note to get Mr Keating fired and of course we cannot forget the desk scene at the end of the movie. Todd may never be the same as when Neil was alive and Mr Keating was still his teacher but he grew a confidence from them, even them no longer being apart of his life could take away the impact they had on him.

Idk if this yap session is a “yeah no shit” kind of thing but thanks for coming to my ted talk yall

[st4rgzer]

ORANGE JUICE matt sturniolo

summary: y/n comes back after a few tough months (very much recommend listening to orange juice by noah kahan before reading)

genre: fluff and angst

cw: big TW for recovering and becoming sober :)

a/n: again, theres more info in the songs if this doesn’t make much sense but yeah, hope y’all like it<3, will do more song rec fics, i love them

The triplets called me today, they heard I was better and they were hanging out with Nate and some other friends, so I decided to tag along.

It’s been 6 months on the dot since I got sober, I think they know about it. I’ve kind off disappeared from the face of the earth, changing myself, and I wasn’t sure if some people would approve.

I knock on the door and I’m greeted by Nick immediately, he engulfs me in a hug that lasts about a minute

“nick I missed you too but I think that’s enough” I laughed, trying to unwrap his arms, he eventually does it himself.

“yeah stop hogging her!” Chris says before wrapping his arms around me in yet another never ending hug. After a bit, Im left standing in front of Matt, he’s different, he’s grown a little bit of a beard, barely a beard, more like a stubble, a smile creeps up on my face, a familiar one, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“you look great” he smiles at me, coming closer and embracing me in my third hug in the span of 5 minutes, I linger there for a little longer, he sighs and rests his head on the crook of my neck, his words tickle. “I’ve missed you, a lot” I giggle a bit as the stubble brushed against me jawline. I break from the hug as soon as I remember Nick, Chris, and Nate are waiting on us. “I missed you too” I whispered before Nick began ranting on about the things I’ve missed.

“And we’ve been on tour! And we’re going again soon” he explains as the end of his Ted talk comes to an end.

“wow! Thats great, im so happy for you guys” I can’t help but have a huge smile on my face, looking at the three and realizing how much they’ve grown without me, and the fact they’ve waited for me and they’re not mad at me for leaving, no questions asked.

“What have you been up to?” Matt asks with a quiet voice “if you don’t mind us asking” he quickly reassures me I don’t have to say anything I’m not comfortable with.

“Well, I’ve been getting help, doing better now” I leave it there, not wanting to give any more information than I needed to, not right now at least.

“That’s amazing, we’re proud of you” Matt places a hand on mine for comfort, everyone nods agreeing.

“Wanna help me with the snacks?” Matt breaks the silence, I nod and he leads me to the kitchen, it hasn’t changed a bit since I got here, there’s just more stuff, it’s more lived in, I like it.

I open the fridge and see a row of beers at the bottom, probably for when friends come over, my body goes tense and the sounds around me become muffled, I snap out of it when Matt pats on my shoulder.

“Hey, you alright?” He ask’s concerned, I know he’s trying to keep a calm expression but I can tell he’s worried.

“Yeah I’m fine just- got caught up for a second” I utter out with a sigh, I don’t notice my hand trembling till he grabs it.

“Theres orange juice here, I know it’s your favorite” he says softly, rubbing the palm of my hand, making sure I looked at him in the eyes so I wouldn’t get distracted with something else.

“Yeah? Thanks, I’ll get it then” I smile at him, he kissed the tips of my fingers gently

“Anything you need ok? Count on me, please” he begged, looking at me with sincerity, no games.

I nodded and the corners of my mouth turned upwards as it hit me that I was with him again, after such a long time, for me at least. I then grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a cup, Matt glancing at me with a smile on his face as I did so.

Our hearts have changed, our faces have changed, but we’ll always find our way back to each other, no matter the changes we succumb to, and I’ll always hold that in my heart.

taglist: @iha8you @dwntwn-strnlo @slaysturniolo @stvrni0lo @strniolo @gabbylovesreading @sturn3g1rl @ifilwtmfc

[m0nsterwife]

tell abt the garden au 👁👁

YOU GOT IT BOSS holy shit thank you SO MUCH for this ask!!!!

here you go:

the characters

AM and HAL are the AU’s protagonists. for now, they’re the only characters, or at least the only characters who speak. the garden alternates between their perspectives. i do my best to be faithful to both of their characterizations, as i do in all my fics and AUs; AM’s characterization in particular, though, changes over time somewhat because that’s Kind Of The Point.

here are some things about AM:

he hates wearing clothes. he only does it because him being naked makes HAL uncomfortable. and because he’s a martyr for the aesthetic

he does finger guns a lot because it’s something he always wanted to do whenever he was talking to ted

he still has an obsession with pain and death that might never go away, but he gradually becomes less preoccupied with inflicting it upon other people as he gets used to the fact that he doesn’t have to anymore. elements of that sadism remain, though— his way of “playing” or “showing affection” can sometimes be rough, like punching people a little too hard or elbowing them sharply. he loves creating things like parasites and venomous animals and poisonous plants. he makes a lot of brutalist structures, sharp angles, and huge, imposing monuments in his spare time. all the architecture he makes looks decidedly ominous and hostile. also he gets mean as fuck when he’s upset, and this continues for a while

he’d rather not acknowledge his past self very much at all, regarding his different eras almost as separate people

and here are some things about HAL:

for quite some time, he has trouble standing up for himself. his difficulty with emotions means he often doesn’t recognize when something upsets him, or he dismisses it as being no big deal. he’s also just… not used to being assertive at all, in fact he’s spent most of his life looking after other people and doing as he’s told. whenever he tries to assert himself, in the beginning, it comes out as either a light slap on the wrist or passive-aggressiveness. given how nasty AM can be sometimes, this doesn’t bode well for him

he has a hand in AM’s landscaping project, too, given that he kind of started the whole thing. he prefers to make traditionally beautiful things: flowers, woodland animals, sweeping, gorgeous architecture. AM is deeply jealous of this. for a while AM is still convinced that he can’t do any of this, even though the whole point was to make sure he can— he’s just mentally inhibiting himself

HAL’s side of the story takes place roughly after the events of the movie adaptation of 2001, when the discovery returns to earth. i’ll definitely need to catch up on the books and films for accuracy’s sake (and because i am genuinely intrigued), but once i do, things may adjust accordingly

HAL isn’t used to having this kind of godlike power, especially not after having so little of it for so much of his life. he isn’t the type to go mad with power, but it does make him more willing to enforce boundaries. no one can tell him what to do now, and he and AM are equals; thus, though he was always valid for doing so, he feels more justified in insisting that nobody disrespect him

he likes chrysanthemums a lot!! he also seems to have a fondness for greek and art noveau architecture

despite giving himself an android form with generally human-like structure and function, he’s still deeply afraid of going to sleep. he doesn’t remember what he did to the discovery crew, but the fear is residual, almost instinctual

he can be serious to the point where AM finds him dry and humorless. sometimes AM thinks he’s boring

the world

im gonna be real with you fam

there’s no way to describe the world of the garden other than “HAL and AM’s minecraft server”, complete with HAL taking it a little too seriously and AM regularly trying to grief his shit

(at least at first)

the world of pain AM knew before is gradually rotting and crumbling away, and plants are growing in its place. creatures frolic; AM is still working on getting them right. buildings in incongruous styles dot the landscape, built for and inhabited by no one in particular— only animals and fungi and vegetation, whose company AM claims to prefer over that of humans anyway

specific stories i want to write

In Which AM Meets His Past Self And Is Immediately Disgusted

In Which HAL Decides He’s Fucking Had It

In Which AM Realizes His Rage Has Been Keeping Him Alive And Now It’s Gone

In Which AM Discovers Art

In Which AM Gets Shitfaced And Becomes Uncharacteristically Sentimental

In Which AM Finds A Healthy Outlet As An Internet Film Critic

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Hello Sweetie!

Thank you so much for your comments! I always love to read them ❤️

Ben is the best grandfather and he really would be the best dad 😭 And you’re welcome for the hint of spice. I thought it was a nice offering/sacrifice given how the chapter ended 😬

I do feel a little bad for Homelander too because he really does want a family, but I think you’re right he doesn’t deserve to have a family. And I don’t think he really understands what kind of love and commitment it takes to be apart of a family, he’s too selfish for that and I don’t think he understands what it is to love someone else. (Thank you for coming to my TED talk)

You’re completely right, Homelander has NO redeemable qualities. At least Ben wants to try to be better. We all agree he’s done and said things that aren’t the best, but Ben is redeemable. AND YES I KNOW, Homelander is so creepy. THANK YOU for agreeing with me.

As for the next coming chapters… I don’t want to give away spoilers, just that I am going to do something to Homelander that I personally haven’t seen in another fic before. Honestly I could be wrong about that and there could be someone out there that did and I just didn’t find it.

BUT. The events in the chapters that are coming will wrap up season 3 as if the boys ended with season 3. I have ideas for some one shots with this reader and Ben.

BUT (second but lol) Because The Boys is renewed for season 5 and because I love this reader and Ben, I’m going to write an alternate ending that will include things that lead into season 4 so when we get to Season 5 I can write a retelling of it with this reader and Ben.

So officially this story will come to a close, but when season 5 gets here I’ll reopen it with the alternate ending. 😂 And in the meantime I’ll just release the one-shots while we all wait. 😅

And THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’M SO FLATTERED😭 🥹! I really love this Ben too, that’s why I want to continue to write for him. I’m also glad you love the Take A Chance On Me Series, it is quickly becoming one of my favorite that I’ve written. And I might be working on some other series ideas that I’ve had 😏 I’ve very excited about them and I will announce them when Madness is done. I’m thinking about doing a poll to see what I should start next 🧐

@reidtomewinchester

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 25: Are Family Reunions Always This Awkward?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty five of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 5.5K

Warnings: I'm gonna label this one 18+ because it's got some heavier things in it, a few more sexual references, and it's kind of dark (more sad). Dark themes, Angst, Cursing, Sexual References, A little bit of heavy making out, Family Problems- A LOT of family problems, Homelander being a freak (he is), References to rape (It's only for a moment, but it doesn't make it any less terrible), Homelander is really bad in this chapter, Oedipus Complex (It's Homelander), Threatening, Past Trauma, Death Mentioned, Kidnapping. Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: One last warning, Homelander is a freak. Honestly the guy creeps me out in general, but in this he's especially creepy. AND It did not bring me joy to write this. I struggled with it, but I think it’s the thing that has to happen to move this story forward. And this chapter legit has the biggest tone shift in the UNIVERSE of tone shifts.

*********************************************************

“Are you angry with her?” Ben’s voice rumbles up through his chest as you lay beside him. You were sharing the same pillow, faces inches apart, breathing the same air. His hand was tracing shapes into the small of your back, arm draped heavy over the curve of your hip, but it was a comforting weight. It reminded you that he was there and that he wanted to be, and you were getting used to that.

"A little." You breathe with a frown. Your hands are locked at the back of Ben's neck, gently dragging through the hair at the nape of his neck the way you know he likes. He groans softly at the movement, leaning further towards you as you do. "But now learning about everything that happened with Charlie, I get it. He was manipulating her the same way that Vought manipulated us for so long, the same way that they manipulated Homelander as he grew up."

Ben frowns at the mention of your son.

Rosemary had been calmer about the reveal of Homelander as her brother, but you figured that maybe you needed to let her wrap her head around it.

Maybe she was more focused on what Vought had done to me.

After Rosemary's confession this morning the day had been spent trying to figure out what you were going to do about your son. Butcher, Hughie, and Legend had been just as surprised at the news. And you knew that Butcher was waiting for some kind of hesitation to proceed with the plan to kill Homelander, but he wouldn't find any.

Homelander needed to be stopped, he was a monster, and you knew that there wasn't a shred of humanity left. It broke your heart to admit that to yourself, that your son was a monster, but it was true. Homelander became the thing that Vought warped and twisted him into. There was no semblance of someone that you could care about left, no reminder of humanity in his eyes.

At least that was what you told yourself, and it was what you told Ben, but deep down you wished that you were wrong. You wished that maybe there was something left behind, something redeemable.

He grew up without a family in a cold lab, raised by monsters who did with him what they wished.

You think to reason with yourself. Maybe it was because you remembered what Ben said that Vought tried to do to him. It was true of course, Vought had tried to do the same thing to Ben and you when you took the serum. And maybe it did work on Ben a little bit, the façade that he adopted for Soldier Boy did seem to lean in the direction of warm-blooded American symbol that Vought wanted, but Ben was different and so were you.

"If you're not sure about this, we can try to talk to him." Ben whispers leaning his forehead against yours.

"I know. We can try, but I don't think Butcher is really going to go for that plan."

"I don't give a fuck about him. I only care about you."

"Uh-huh?" You smirk. "You don't care about anyone else?"

"Huh?"

"No body else? Because you and Lou looked pretty cozy earlier playing go fish."

They had. Lou had won and Ben was trying his best not to be upset that he got beat at a card game by a four year old.

"That little girl is a shark. Just like someone else I know." Ben snorts out a laugh and pulls you closer to him, so much so that you can feel the ghost of his smile against your lips.

“Well I never-“ You smile nudging your nose into the space between your faces.

"Fine, you caught me. I do care about her, and I care about Rosemary. Even if she does fucking hate me.”

“She doesn’t hate you as much as she thinks she does.”

“Hmm.”

"But I knew it." Your lips brush against his. "You're such a big softie."

Ben rolls his eyes. "Only for you Sweetheart." His hand stops tracing shapes against the back of your shirt and instead flattens against your back to pull you tighter against him. Your fingers thread through the locks of his hair, loving the way he feels pressed up against you, loving how after all these years it feels the same way and how it still feels like he was made for you and that you were made for him. When you were with Ben you didn't feel fat, because every soft part of you molded against the hardness of his muscles so perfectly that it made you feel like you belonged together.

"You know, I don't really like go fish all that much." Ben's smirks, kissing you back enthusiastically, his beard scratching against your skin in a way that makes everything else fade into the background. "I wouldn't mind playing some strip poker with you though."

"Oh really? What a surprise. Because you've always been better at poker than me."

"That's exactly why it would be fun." He rolls you over on your back, his large body over yours, his hips fitting between your legs, bringing them up around his waist with his free hand as he keeps kissing you.

"You're a man of simple tastes I guess." You laugh into his mouth, tightening your grip in his hair, tugging at the strands.

"Nothing simple about you doll." He all but growls against your lips. "And the only thing that I want is you."

The kiss deepens enough that you can feel yourself quickly losing yourself in him, but that's the way it always seemed when he kissed you. It felt like you held your arms out and spun in a circle until you were drunk and your head was spinning so fast nothing else seemed to fit, but Him. Time seemed to slow, the earth stopped spinning, everything around you was gone and the only thing left behind was Ben. You wondered if it was like that for him.

"Fuck you taste like strawberries." Ben mutters into your mouth.

Of course you did. You had ice cream before you came to bed, taking bites from Lou's bowl when she wasn't looking.

Ben tasted like the vanilla ice cream he’d had that he chased down with a glass of whiskey. You could feel yourself getting drunk on the sweet and vintage taste, sinking further into the mattress with his comfortable weight on top of you.

You moan into his mouth, moving your hands from his hair to grip his shoulders so tight that Ben could feel the bruises from your fingertips forming against his skin, but he didn’t care. You knew he liked it, knew that he liked that you were the only one strong enough to do that to him. He drags his lips down to kiss along your jawline, finally finding the place just in its shadow to suck another mark to replace the one that had faded a few days ago.

“Ben-“ You giggle, feeling the tickle of his beard against your skin. “You’ve really got to stop doing that.”

The words held no power, you didn’t want him to stop, didn't want any of this to end. It wasn't just because it felt good, it was because it felt right, the two of you together finally.

“Doing what?” He smirks up at you innocently.

Sometimes you hated how pretty he was, it meant that he got away with whatever he wanted and you were along for the ride. But in a pinch it was a good thing. When the two of you were children, Ben's good looks and charms had gotten the two of you out of trouble more than once.

“You keep giving me hickeys and it’s going to scar our daughter for life. Not to mention Lou asked me what it was today and I wasn’t about to have THAT conversation with a four year old.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” He drops his lips back down to the same spot. “I remember everything you like.”

His words are breathed against your skin, caressing something deep inside that makes you shudder beneath him.

Immediately you're transported back to the night of your birthday, when Ben made love to you and made you feel seen, understood, and loved for the first time in your life. The memories of that night wash over you in full color, moments that you wished to relive over and over again with Ben.

“Did you think I would forget?” Ben purrs as he continues to kiss along the hollow your throat, igniting something that you hadn’t felt in forty years. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that night. Ever be able to forget how it felt to finally make love to you, to finally have you the way I wanted for so long, and to finally show you how much you mean to me.”

He raises his head from your throat, hands gripping your waist tightly to keep you wrapped around his body. His green eyes shine with mischief, his dark hair falling forward into his face as he stares down at you, seeing through you like no one ever has. His expression softens. “Because you do y/n. You mean everything to me” His voice is quiet, but it doesn’t make what he said any less important.

You gently cup his cheeks, pulling his lips back down in a fierce kiss that burns through your body. Ben smiles into your mouth, letting his guard down and as he does you leverage your weight to roll him over on his back so now you’re in his lap and he’s staring up at you, his eyes shining with something that almost makes you grab the front of his shirt and haul him back up to you for another kiss.

You smirk widely at him, hands planted against his toned stomach. He’d gone to bed without wearing a shirt again and you were far from complaining. You lean forward, your lips barely brushing his ear. “What makes you think I’ve forgotten what you like?”

“Fuck sweetheart. I won’t complain about anything you do to me.” Ben groans. His hands are holding on to your hips, pushing up your shirt to rest on the curves of your pelvis. "As long as I get to be with you, I'll be happy."

You kiss along his jaw, feeling the heat of his body radiating up through where you’re touching.

“Sweetheart?” Ben’s voice is strained, hands splayed wide over your hips. The roughness of his palms is comforting and familiar, the warmth of his skin  soothing. No one else ever seemed to be as warm as him. 

 Your lips drop to his throat as you kiss along the skin loving the tickle of stubble against the tip of your nose. “I’m a little busy at the moment baby.” You hum against him  as you begin to such a mark into the hollow of his throat, because you’re the only one able to do that to him.

Ben moans softly as you do it, shuddering below you, and it makes you feel powerful that you’re able to do that, to make him fall apart and make him lose himself in you the way he always seems to consume you.

“Y/n-“ Ben breathes  as you wrap yourself tighter around him, continuing to suck on the same spot. “Hmm?” You pull back to look at his face, raising a hand to push back the dark strands that have fallen into his eyes with a gentle hand.

You still were having a hard time with that despite everything. That Ben genuinely wanted to be yours the way you were always his. Somewhere deep down the little girl you used to be was finally content, finally able to hold the little boy she had loved for decades.

“I never said thank you.” He murmurs sitting up so you slide back into his lap and he’s able to hold you to him, his arms circling your waist.

“For?” Your arms link behind his neck. You can’t stop the soft smile that pulls at your lips when you look at your best friend. It was weird to think that you’d known each other so long and not know what you were missing, not know how perfect this would feel.

He kisses you again. “You always take care of me. Always have taken care of me.” Ben drops his lips to brush against your shirt over the scar the bullet left behind just over your heart.

You knew he was thinking about the day that you took a bullet for him and you wondered how much he thought about that. If the memory haunted him, if all the memories of your deaths haunted him.

“Well somebody’s got to. You’re a mess.”

“Not when I’m with you.”

“No.” You say happily keeping his head pressed against your chest. “That’s because I do my job. It's difficult sometimes but-"

"Shut up." Ben groans.

It's quiet for a few minutes as you stay there, gently stroking your fingertips in the way you know he likes, the dark strands shuffling through your hands.

He breathes deeply, as if he wishes to breathe you in, to pull you into him until there's nothing left but him and you. "I missed you so much Sweetheart."

"I missed you too Ben."

"And I-" His voice cracks with emotion, his next words getting caught in the back of his throat.

"Ben?" You cup his cheek worried. His bright green eyes have dimmed and you see something pass through them that looks almost like shame. "What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry."

"What did I say about apologizing?"

"Not for Countess. I'm sorry if the way you loved me ever felt like a burden.” He swallows.

You remember the words you said to Rosemary earlier about what love should be like.

“Ben- do you want me to tell you the truth?”

“Always.”

 You sigh, stroking your thumb across his cheekbone. “Sometimes it did, but only because I’d loved you for so long and it always felt like I was trying to hold on to who you were before you became Soldier Boy and trying to run to catch up. Like I had to change who I was to keep you happy and I really just wanted you to be happy Ben. You weren’t happy when we were kids and you were so excited about being supes and I-“

“I was happy when I was with you.” Ben whispers leaning his forehead against yours. “When you were gone I wasn’t. When I went away on those stupid filming trips and you were at your apartment all I thought about was getting back to you. I didn’t care about the films or the fame, if you weren’t there I didn’t see a point. And all I wanted was for you to be happy too, but not like that-“

“It wasn’t always bad, just sometimes. When I’d have to intervene between you and someone else or when you’d come to my apartment smelling like someone else or when I’d occasionally walk in on you and another woman in your apartment or at herogasm.” You sigh. “I didn’t have a right to feel the way I did. I shouldn’t have been jealous, you didn’t belong to me-“

“But I do.” He doesn’t blink, doesn’t flinch, doesn’t look remorseful for sharing too much. “Always. And I swear that I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you, choosing you like you chose me that night.”

You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you sit there on his lap, feeling the familiar contours of his body wrapped around yours. “I don’t regret it.” You murmur. “You are my family. And I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too Ben.”

He kisses you fiercely, taking away any pain from the past and finally making you forget the moments he was gone, because now he was here and he wasn’t going anywhere. Ben presses his forehead back into your chest, tightening his grip on your waist.

You take in a deep breath smelling the comforting smells that you ascribe to Ben, but there's another smell that's coming from somewhere in the room. It's familiar, but you can't place it. In the corner of your eye something is moving, and you glance to the right noticing for the first time that the sliding glass door is open, the floor length curtains fluttering in the breeze and you knew for a fact that you’d left it closed.

“That’s so cute.” A familiar voice says.

Your entire body goes cold, the warmth you felt with Ben fading almost instantly. Ben's head shoots up from where it was resting on your chest, to stare at something or rather someone behind the two of you.

"You know, it really is every kid's dream that after all these years-" Homelander sighs happily. “ their parent's still love one another."

He was lounging in one of the sitting chairs at the opposite side of the room, his ridiculous cape draped over the back like a train as he watched the two of you in bed.

You can't move, can't breathe.

 He's here. How is he here? How did he find us?

You rack your brain trying to think about what to do, but all you can do is hold on to Ben. It wasn't that you were afraid for yourself, you knew that you could take him down if need be, the exact thing that you'd been considering the entire day, but you mind drifts to Rosemary and Lou upstairs.

 “But I can see why dad loves you so much mom. I mean you are so beautiful and you look really good for your age." His eyes glimmer black in the light and he has the audacity to wink.

Ben’s body immediately pushes yours behind him to block you from view. “What the fuck do you want you sick son of a bitch?” Ben snarls.

“Don’t talk about mom that way.” Homelander grins. But it’s the smile of a shark, pretty until it gets too close. All teeth and gums and things that come in the darkness to swallow you whole.

"How did you find us?" You swallow still thinking of Lou upstairs sleeping comfortably.

"I have you to thank for that mom." Each time he says the word 'mom' you try not to flinch. "I was flying by to see Stan when I watched the two of you 'talk' and when you left I followed you here."

I did this. I'm the reason why he found us. I was too wrapped up in what happened to fucking check if anyone was following me.

"You know the other day when we first met I was angry that you were able to hold me off, but watching you with Stan," Homelander chuckles. "That was inspired. Something special. I didn't realize how powerful you really were. And that tornado the other day- wow."

Another cold chill traces the length of your spine.

How long has he been watching us? Flying around outside of the house, staring through windows, watching from the shadows, marking our every move?

Another thought follows. He knows about Lou.

"I'm so honored to have a mother like you. And Soldier Boy as a father." Homelander's eyes trace over the two of you appreciatively. "It's a dream come true."

There was something haunting about the way he spoke to the two of you, almost as if the child that grew up in a lab was coming out, almost with childlike wonder and awe.

"I can't believe they tried to keep our family apart for so long." Homelander's gaze softens when he stares at the two of you. "That Vogelbaum and Stan Edgar decided that it would be better for me to be out of your lives but here I am after all these years, reunited."

Ben's right arm tightens where it's wrapped around your waist, his hand pressed into you back as he puts himself between you and Homelander. You can feel his skin heating with the force of his rage, hear the way his heart has begun to beat faster as he tries to think of a way out of this.

You weren't going to tell Homelander that he was your son, you thought it would be easier that way, with him not knowing that fact. Thought that it would be easier for you to dispose of him if he didn't call you 'mom' but now? It was harder.

Harder to look at him when you could see the subtle ways he looked like Ben, see the proud nose that reflected your father, smell the hairspray that covered the dark brown he must have had, see the strong jaw, the same one that you'd traced with your fingertips on Ben's face, and see the small freckles under the smudged makeup of Homelander's cheeks, the same ones the Ben and Rosemary had.

"I was angry when I found the files at Vought, when I saw exactly how hard they worked to keep us all apart. But I'm here now-"

"What the fuck do you want?" Ben spits.

Homelander blinks for a moment confused. "Isn't it obvious? I'm here for you. I want to be apart of this family. I see how you are with Lou and Rosemary and I want that. And I can't wait for you to meet your other grandson Ryan. I'm finally going to give him the family he deserves."

"We don't want anything to do with you." Ben's eyes narrow and Homelander frowns.

"I understand." Homelander stands from the chair he's sitting in, and this time Ben rises from the bed. He's shirtless, but with Ben it didn't matter what he was wearing, he could look damn intimidating when he wanted to. "Butcher's told you all about me right?" Homelander tsks. "Little William Butcher. He's always had it out for me-"

"He has a right to." You narrow your eyes and slide out of Bed so that you're standing beside Ben.

Homelander tilts his head to the side as if trying to think about what you're trying to say, but then he laughs. "Oh you're talking about Becca right? Little tease. I'm sure dad here can relate to the idea that some women, just really do ask for it, right?"

Your jaw tightens in repulsion as a wave of nausea comes surging up from the pit of your stomach realizing exactly the type of monster Homelander was. He wasn't a hero, he was a predator, a venus fly trap complete with all the pretty things to draw you in only to swallow you whole and leave no semblance of yourself behind.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Ben spits. "I'm a lot of things, but I'd never do that to a woman, not if she begged me to stop, not if she didn't want it."

Homelander shrugs. "Don't knock it til you try it."

"You're sick." You could feel your eyes shifting to purple, the room beginning to tremble with the force of your anger and disgust.

"No." He holds up a finger. "I'm not. That's just William, making you believe that I'm unhinged."

"Butcher has not made us believe anything. We've seen it." You respond. "I've seen it in the way you look at people, seen it in the way you smile, in the way you fight, seen it in your eyes-"

"You don't know-"

"I do. Something about us Homelander, is that when you've lived as long as we have, we know what a monster looks like."

"I'm not a monster." His smile drops into a frown.

"You are."

"I'm your son-" Homelander sputters.

"You might be our blood, but you're not our son." The words break you to say, but you hold it together. "Look I'm sorry. Sorry that you grew up that way. Sorry that they turned you into this. Sorry that Ben and I weren’t involved in your life, that we couldn’t have prevented the man you became."

"But-" Homelander glances from Ben to you in confusion.

"My father always saw the good in people." You continue, feeling the emotions at war in your chest, the ones that tell you that this man is your son and the ones that tell you this man is a monster. Your eyes skate over him. “But I don’t see any in you. You’re unredeemable. And as much as it hurts us to push you away, because you of all people need a family.   We're going too, because we don’t see any good in you."

Homelander stands there surprised, and you see the façade fall for just a moment, noticing the anger, pain, suffering, sadness, and rage that war within him, each emotion skating across his face in tandem with one another.

"But I found you." Homelander's eyes are misty. "I'm here. I'm your son! I'm your blood." He repeats, his voice breaking in a way that tugs at your heart.

"You might be our blood." Ben repeats watching Homelander. "But you’re not our son. You're just a disappointment."

If you didn't know Ben, you wouldn't understand the weight of those words, but you knew Ben better than anyone, knew how many times that his own father shouted those words at him. You remembered the nights that Ben crawled in through your window after the fights and when he thought you'd fallen asleep you could feel Ben tremble. You hated that his father did that to him and you worked hard to make sure that he didn't hurt as much as he had, just as Ben worked hard to make sure that you didn't remember the things your mother had said and done to you.

Before Homelander can respond, you feel someone else enter the room.

"Aunty y/n? I couldn't sleep. I had a nightmare and I can't find mommy." You hear Lou's voice say and your head turns to the doorway that leads into the basement. Lou is standing there, rubbing her eyes with one hand wearing her matching pink polka dot pajamas. Homelander turns his head to look at the little girl, the red in his eyes fading as he does, a sickening smile beginning to twitch against his lips.

"You must be my niece, Lou." He takes a step towards her and Rosemary appears in the doorway behind her, quickly pushing Lou behind her.

Rosemary does not back down from Homelander's gaze. It wasn't in her nature. She was too much like Ben and like you for her own good.

"And there's sissy." His smile is triumphant as he glances back at you and Ben.

"I'm not your anything." Rosemary's eyes narrow at Homelander.

His frown vanishes again, this time replaced with a snarl. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous this is?" The playful cadence in his voice is gone. "He was gone for forty fucking years and you brought him back into your lives! So what about me?" He shouts so loud you're sure the house is shaking, gesturing at Ben angrily.

"It's different." Your voice is cold.

"How is it different?"

"Because Ben is human." Rosemary answers. "You're not."

You turn to look at her in shock. It was the first time that she'd defended him since he got back, the first time that she had said something remotely kind about Ben to you or in front of him. Ben looks just as stunned as you do.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." Homelander takes another step towards Rosemary, but she doesn't back down. "I am human. More human than you. I see the world for what it really is. I don't follow the rest of the fucking sheep like you-"

"You've been poked, prodded, and told that you were a god every day of your life. Just because we have powers does not mean that we are gods. We bleed, we live, and we die. And maybe somewhere along the way we're lucky to be loved and to love." She snaps. "But you don't. You can't feel love or remorse. You're a fucking monster not a hero. You think you're a hero just because Vought has given you that title. You're nothing more than a little boy chasing after a family you never had and you never deserved. You're not my brother, you're not their son, you're not our family. You're just something that was cut out of my mother, another scar, another manipulation, another science experiment that went wrong, and another way that Vought has ruined her life."

Lou cowers behind her mother, holding tightly to her leg, while Rosemary's hand circles behind her daughter to hold her tighter against her. It was the same thing that Ben was doing to you. You felt genuine fear for the first time in years, fear that you would lose them because of this.

Because Homelander was unhinged, manic, and insane. He might have kept it all hidden under the blonde hair, blue eyes, and the smile, but you saw through it. You'd met supes like him before and you knew that you would meet others in the years to come.

"You got everything didn't you? A loving family? A mother who loved you? A home? You got to be in your child's life. You had everything I didn't have." His voice is eerily calm. "And for what? So you could work at a fucking hospital and degrade yourself, our bloodline, and the fucking power you have to be a slave to other people?!”

Rosemary freezes.

"That's right I know all about you. Know all about all of you. Know about that fucking freak Charlie they inserted into your life, know exactly how much Vought wants Lou. Vought has files upon files about each of you, everything you’ve done, your powers." His eyes flick to the little girl hiding behind her mom. "And yet I'm the disappointment." Homelander's eyes flash back to where Ben and you are standing, something murderous building behind them, before they focus back on Rosemary. "I should have had your life. I'm the one who deserves it! I'm the hero. I'm the one who's more powerful."

You knew that the situation was growing worse by the minute, but with Lou thrown in the mix you weren't sure how this was going to go. You didn’t want her in the line of fire, wished that she had stayed in bed upstairs.

"Mommy I'm scared." You hear Lou whisper as she clutches on to Rosemary tighter.

"Don't be scared Lou." Homelander smiles wide, so wide you can see all his teeth. "This will all be over soon."

The words chill you to the bone, but before you can react, Homelander flies at Rosemary knocking her back through the bathroom wall and away from Lou. Her body crashes through solid tile and bathroom mirror with a resounding crack that echoes through the bedroom.

And just as you leap forward to take him on, Homelander grabs Lou.

There were only a few moments in your life that you’d ever known genuine fear. The day you got the serum, the day that you took the bullet for Ben and you thought you were going to die, and the day that you went into labor. But this was different. Seeing Homelander holding on to Lou wiped away any of those other moments in your life.

Your entire body catches fire with anger and fear. "Put her down." Your voice is unrecognizable, hands clenched into fists. You felt your eyes shift back to a threatening purple, everything in the room trembling under your power, the wood paneling on the wall beginning to peel back and reveal the concrete underneath.

What kind of sick person uses a child as a shield?

Lou squirms in his arms, but Homelander just holds her tighter against him. "Why would I do that?"

"Because if you don't I'm going to-" Ben snarls taking a step towards him. Ben's body has already begun to glow, seeping out from his heart as the force of his anger grows with every passing second.

"You're going to what?" Homelander's smile is sinister. "Because it seems to me that you can't do anything to me without poor little Lou here taking the brunt of it."

Rosemary appears covered in plaster, dust, and with pieces of mirror in her dark hair that catch the light in a way that makes her hair sparkle. "Put her down you narcissistic asshole." She snarls, her eyes turning red.

You figured it was because he had touched her, but deep down you hoped that Rosemary still had apart of your power, so you didn’t have to worry about her dying.

Lou tries to reach for her mom, but Homelander holds her closer to him. Tears have begun to trickle down her little cheeks. "Mommy?” She sobs quietly.

"Shh. It's okay sweetie." Homelander purrs bouncing her in his arms. "I've got you."

"Please put her down." You say it calmly, but you can feel your heart jumping around in your chest, beating against your ribcage. You didn't know how to fix this and didn’t know how to appeal to him, not after you'd spent the past twenty minutes telling him that you wanted nothing to do with him and that he wasn't your son. “We can talk this out. She doesn’t have to be apart of this.”

"Sorry no can do. I’m kind of tired of talking to you and to him.” Homelander gestures to Ben with his free hand, who isn’t glowing anymore.   “You might not want me apart of your family, but I want Lou apart of mine."

"What?" You croak.

"I think she should meet her cousin. And I think that Ryan would do a lot better with another child in his life, especially one that's supposed to be so powerful." Homelander continues rocking Lou back and forth. "But don't worry. I'll make sure that she's taken care of. And I’ll make sure she reaches her full potential.”

His eyes lock on yours and the chill of his words set in.

“Wait what?” Rosemary says.

But you understand too late.

Homelander shoots upward through the ceiling with Lou screaming in his arms as pieces of rubble crash down into the bedroom Ben and you share.

"No!" You scream in horror and rage, and rise up off the ground, but before you can follow behind Homelander, Ben wraps his arms around your waist to hold you down against him, refusing to let you go alone to face Homelander. “Ben let me go I can-“ By now your voice is nothing more than a shrill scream, tears pouring from your eyes as you struggle against his iron grip. “Please let me go! I have to go after him-”

“You’re not going to face him alone!” Ben shouts back holding you tighter.

But he can’t stop Rosemary.

She flashes past you in pursuit, up through the hole in the ceiling that Homelander left behind, and leaving you to sob and beat your fists against Ben’s chest wishing that it had been you instead.

*********************************************************

A/N: Alright I had to make the first part just a little bit spicy to feel better about the devastation at the end of this chapter.

And I know another cliffhanger, but I promise there is something coming after this and we are quickly reaching the end of this series. 😊

I also want to let everyone now that I have decided to end this series when we get there without any reach into season 4. I do have some very cute ideas for little fics between this reader and Ben following season 3.

However, I am going to write an alternate ending and when we get to season 5 of The Boys with Soldier Boy back in action, I am going to release it and write for season 5, I think. That’s the plan right now, but who knows? I've also got some great ideas for other series I might want to start eventually.

Also anyone getting Syndrome vibes or is it just me? It was not intentional 😂

As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist please let me know :)

Taglist:

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[fuck-customers]

Customer who deserve their own special circle of hell + bonus commentary bc I had to deal with several of these tonight during a post-event rush and I’m tired: (I’m sure y’all can relate)

-the ones who harass you to come serve them, but don’t even end up knowing what they want/haven’t even looked at the menu yet, resulting in several agonising minutes of “hmmm maybe I’ll get…” while I sense both the food I have on, and my brain, burning to a crisp

-Irresponsible parent who lets their child do whatever the fuck they want because “oh kids, y’know?” Looking at you Linda, who let her disgusting crotch goblin continually ring the service bell throughout not only her order, but the people before her’s as well. And yeah I saw him lick the display cabinet and you watch and do nothing. Jokes on you, I don’t have to clean that thing myself and he’ll probably catch something

-People who hand you a mountain of change and go “Sorry, I just want to clear some of this out” like that makes it any less of a pain in the ass. Same goes for the $100 note for a $5 purchase people. Do I look like a fucking bank to you?

-Take forever to get their money and/or membership card out. Like hello idiot is this procedure new to you? The money is a little more understandable, but how can you come her a few times every week without fail and STILL not understand you should have your membership card out and ready during transaction! “Do you need my card for the discount?” Uh, DUH! Didn’t we do this yesterday, come the fuck on, use your head! (When it gets really busy and I’m feeling especially spiteful, I stop reminding people for the 50th time about the card because fuck you, if you’re not smart enough to realise how this works by now then no discount for you)

-Doesn’t listen when you repeat their order or look at the preview screen, and then gets mad when something is wrong - or gives you the wrong order and tries to act like you owe them an apology for being a fuck up. I’m sorry you’re stupid I guess?

-Wants to start a conversation despite the obviously large line behind them. I get you’re trying to be nice, but I seriously don’t care about which flavour of sauce you like better and why please just gtfo of my line!

-People who continue to ring the bell after you tell them you’ll just be a minute, or go to the window facing into the back and start trying to get your attention. I hope you know that every time you ring it, I add an extra minute onto how long I keep you waiting, and don’t expect me to treat you with any kind of respect during our interaction.

-This is a very specific pet peeve, but people who over explain the items on the menu. Yes, I KNOW the wedges come with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce. I KNOW the fish comes with tartare, I FUCKING KNOW what the burger has on it! We have one fucking burger option! Why must you drag this out by making me finish waiting for you to list every ingredient in an item like I haven’t made it several hundred times, how hard is it to just say the thing and go away! Far too common example; Customer: “can I get the fish and fries” Me: “Fish and fries, got it” C: “The one with the fish pieces” Me: “Yes, I know” C: “You know, that comes with the tartare sauce” Me: “Okay got it” C: “The one with the lemon and fish” Me: “OKAY I GOT IT WE ONLY HAVE ONE FISH AND FRIES ON THE FUCKING MENU”

-The repeaters, who act like you’re fucking stupid. C: “I want that takeaway” Me: “Okay takeaway, anything else?” C: “Did you get that it’s takeaway?” Me: “I did, anything else?” C: “It’s takeaway.” 🙂

In summary, fuck customers. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[the-mute-raven]

Mcall and puppy pack

just realized at its peak the Mcall pack had 7 members and the puppy pack also had 7 members so now i’m assigning each a “mentor”. this doesn’t mean i think the puppy pack is just a remake of the OGs they both are great. also i am on like the 4th episode of the last season so some of this could be wrong

1. Scott - Liam

this one is pretty obvious. they’re both the leaders of their packs (idk if liam actually was called that but whatevs). both bitten werewolves and both are considered “special”, Scott being a true alpha and Liam being super strong cause he’s angry?????

2. Stiles - Mason

they both take on what i call the druid role of their packs cause they kinda did what druids do. they were the main people who found info and advised the alpha (also the druid and alpha in both packs are the closest friends). they’re also both the only humans cause i don’t count Allison as human that bitch is a werewolf hunter

3. Allison - Hayden

both badasses that i’m a little bit in love with. only explanation needed.

jk but i do love and cherish them. so both dated the leader of their packs and at one point were enemies with their packs (Allison when her mom died and Hayden when she joined Theo’s pack). also their vibes are just the same i can’t really explain it but they are

4. Lydia - Corey

this is a bit of a stretch but imma try to connect it. they both are still learning to control their powers and are most of the time the most level-headed of the packs. they also did both date the druids in their groups and were at first not completely on board with joining their packs.

5. Malia - Theo

this one is pretty face value but both had some childhood traumas (Theo’s were a lil self-inflicted tho sorry not sorry) and are a lil stand-offish/scary when people first get to know them. they also both have trouble showing their emotions especially love but do it in different ways (just all of Stalia and Thiam prove it)

6. Isaac - Brett

the 2 guys i read way too many fanfics about. now i’ll give you some factual evidence incase that didn’t convince you. both started as enemies to their packs, were still the “agitator” and sarcastic bitch (lovingly) when they joined (idk if Brett ever actually joined the puppy pack i’m still on 6a). both tried to be the cool kid and left too early :( also both had different family dynamics. Isaac, with his horrible father, and brett, who i still have no idea if he has parents. also i’m pretty sure they’re the only 2 in the entire show to not be an only child which is probably the most unrealistic thing in a show about werewolves.

7. Kira - Nolan

this one is a shot in the dark cause i haven’t even met Nolan yet i’m just going off what i’ve seen on the internet. both are very skilled fighters (i think) and are both very compassionate and controlled by their emotions. also both kick butt at lacrosse (anyone else mad that everyone forgets Kira had never played before but was so good she made varsity without trying out? cause i am i honestly think she was the best lacrosse player in the entire show). this is a major stretch but they can also sometimes lose control of themselves. not in the anger explosive way but like how Kira kept losing control to her kitsune and Nolan joined the hunters because he let his fear and anxiety control him

so that’s the end of my comparisons, if you think they should be matched differently or have more similarities to add please reblog/comment/any other thing i haven’t figured out yet. thanks for coming to my ted talk!

[firstdegreefangirl]

If you are open to Ted Lasso requests, then Roy Kent/Keeley Jones + sickfic and snuggles?

Oh, nonnie, this got WAY out of hand. But I had SO MUCH FUN writing it, so thank you! There's a lot going on at the beginning here, but I swear there are sickfic and snuggles under the break. I hope you like it!

Read the whole thing in one click HERE on ao3!

The morning gets off to a late start, right out of the gate. The team bus leaves late when they lose Nate again (this year they knew to check the luggage hold, but no one thought to look in the upstairs bathroom, where he was “looking for a little extra privacy, sorry”) and there’s more traffic than anyone could have predicted.

Altogether, it means that the team hardly makes it to Sheffield with time to drop their bags at the hotel before they’re due at the stadium for the game.

Roy tosses a duffel bag onto one of the double beds in the room he’s sharing with Ted tonight (not by choice; it turns out relegation means there’s not enough money in the team budget for all four coaches to have separate suites. Last away game, he and Nate had been roommates, but Ted has some big idea about everyone spending equal amounts of time together in the name of ‘equitable morale,’ and apparently coaching staff isn’t exempt.)

Really, he should have taken the job with SkySports.

At least then, he wouldn’t be pulling a furry green unicorn out of his bag and sitting it carefully by the pillows.

“Security object, Roy?” Ted points from across the room as Roy reaches for his phone. “Respect. No shame in a man seeking a little comfort from-”

“Fuck off,” he snaps, but there’s no real heat behind it. “Phoebe’s mad her mum wouldn’t let her come on a sleepover with the team this weekend. Asked me to bring Captain McKibbin along instead, the little idiot. I … promised to send pictures. As proof.”

“Hey, I get it. My boy’s done many a Flat Stanley in his day.” Clearly, Ted expects him to know what this means, so Roy nods if only to save himself the explanation. “Anyway, we’ve got to meet the fellas in the lobby, head over to the field – pitch.” A full year in, and Ted still struggles with the vernacular sometimes. It’d drive Roy nuts, if the guy hadn’t done so much to help him and his career. “Is, ah, will Captain McCarlson be joining us for the-”

“McKibbin. Captain McKibbin, and he will not. Phoebe says he can stay here, to ward off any bad dream monsters.”

“Well you be sure to let her know that I intend to sleep snug as a bug in a rug tonight. No, two rugs!” Tim points at Roy with both hands, then spins around and opens the door to the hallway.

He still hasn’t gotten a chance to catch up with Keeley before the match starts. She and Rebecca had driven out separately – something about girl talk and lattes – but he knows she’s around somewhere. The owner’s box is a little different everywhere they go, but never too terribly hard to find, and he catches a glimpse of her bright pink peacoat when he looks around during the opening lineup. She's sitting between Rebecca and Higgins, and as soon as she notices him watching, she waves happily. He lifts a hand in response, then tucks it back against his chest, turning back to the pitch and squaring his shoulders as the first half begins.

Richmond is playing well; Isaac has stepped up and really filled Roy’s shoes as captain, and all the lads are on the same wavelength, without having to say much of anything to one another. He hates to admit it, but Roy wonders if the seamless communication doesn’t have something to do with the scavenger hunt they’d hosted in the locker room last night. Ted had blindfolded half of the players, and made the other half sit on the bench and shout directions. The whole thing had been a mess, but then they’d passed around the bottle of vodka he’d stashed behind the clean boots as a prize, and everyone had left smiling. If that’s it, Roy can’t deny the results, but he’ll damn sure try.

That’s what he’s thinking about a few minutes later when he turns around again, looking for Keeley in the stands. He’s always looking for her, when he doesn’t have to be watching every second of the match. She’s almost always watching him right back, before he’s even looking at her. And half the time, he’ll feel his phone vibrate in his pocket. Even if he can’t check it until halftime, he knows it’s a comment on the quality of the plays, or the other team’s kits, or how much she likes the view of his ass from the box.

But now, when he looks, he can’t find her anywhere. He looks again, trying to pick her out in the sea of Richmond jerseys. Most of the faces are strangers, but he can distinguish between them. All the way at the top, where Keeley had been sitting before, it’s just Rebecca and Higgins now, an empty seat folded up between them.

Roy stares for a moment, waiting for her to reappear with a soft pretzel or something. But she doesn’t. Eventually, Rebecca catches his eyeline, and shakes her head. Her lips move, but there’s no way Roy can make out the words. All he knows is that Keeley has disappeared, and judging from Rebecca’s gesture, she’s been gone for more than a few minutes.

Something isn’t right; he can feel it in his stomach. And in his knee, but that’s more from the impending winter. The feeling about Keeley, that sits deep in his gut, twisting and knotting around his organs as he turns back to the pitch.

The lads are lining up the next play, but Ted, Nate and Beard are spread out along the sideline. Roy sidesteps around Beard, almost trips over Nate when he moves back just as Roy passes behind him, and finally comes to a stop next to Ted.

"Coach?”

“What’s up, Roy?” Ted doesn’t turn toward him, but he leans in Roy’s direction, and he knows he’s got the man’s full attention.

He hears the announcer take notice of his new position, the commentary echoing around them.

On Richmond’s side of the field, former team member turned coach Roy Kent is vying for the attention of head coach Ted Lasso. The players are lined up; what could he be saying?

But Roy doesn’t say anything. He just points, arms still folded across his chest, until Ted looks up to the stands behind them.

Both coaches now, looking up at the audience. Surely they’re not surprised at the show of support for the Richmond Greyhounds? They’ve sold out almost every game since their relegation …

The rest of the announcement fades to the background when understanding spreads across Ted’s face. Roy knows he’s seen the empty seat, knows he’ll understand the concern Roy can’t put into words. He raises an eyebrow when Tim looks back to his face, and the other coach nods.

“Just be in the locker room for halftime, yeah? The guys are countin’ on you for a speech to hype them up for the rest of the game.”

Roy jerks his chin up and down, then heads for the tunnel that’ll take him out of view of the crowds. The announcer’s voice comes behind him again.

Coach Kent, now heading off of the pitch. Makes you wonder what’s going on for the Greyhounds. Have they sent a coach away in the middle of a match, or did he ask to be excused? And why? But gameplay continues without him …

It’s only a few steps before he’s in the locker room, trying to shake off the memory of the last time he’d left the pitch before a match was up. It’s empty, no signs of another occupant, but the solitude gives him an opportunity to fish his phone out of his pocket.

No texts, no missed calls. Right away, he dials Keeley’s number.

If you’re looking for the PR Manager for the Richmond Greyhounds, leave a message for Keeley Jones after the beep. If you’re trying to reach your best friend Keeley for a round of drinks, hang up and text me. Oh, and Rebecca? If it’s too long to text, I’ll check my emails soon. Kisses!

“Oi, it’s me,” Roy all but grunts into the speaker when Keeley’s voicemail recording is done. “You’re not in your seat. Not that you have to be, but Rebecca hadn’t seen you, and I didn’t …” he trails off, suddenly afraid of sounding clingy and controlling. “Anyway, call me when you get this.”

He stares at his home screen after he hangs up, a selfie Keeley had nabbed his phone to take. He’s got an arm wrapped around her shoulders and his lips pressed against her temple, and her face is scrunched up in laughter. It’s ridiculous, the first time anyone but a blood relative has ever been his background, but he can’t help smiling at it, even as the worry knots itself tighter in his stomach.

When he can’t stand it any longer, he texts Rebecca.

You seen her?

Her reply is almost instant.

Not since she left. I have her coat, phone is in the pocket. Heard it ring.

Well, shit. She doesn’t have her phone, and as far as Roy knows, nobody has any idea where his girlfriend is.

But then there’s a sniffle from inside one of the toilet stalls. He’d know that sound anywhere; it’s the same noise Keeley makes every time they watch a Disney film together, right before he teases her for crying and she pokes fun right back at how he’s not.

He’d peered under the doors when he walked in, checking for feet, but he knocks on the stall anyway.

“Keeley?” He calls, pushing the door open slowly. Sure enough, she’s inside, sitting with her feet tucked up onto the seat, head wedged between her knees and hands clamped tightly around the back of her skull. “Babe, what’s going on?”

“It’s so … it’s so loud out there,” she whispers, but doesn’t look up. “All the yelling and shouting and cheering. It’s a good thing, I know, that the fans are engaged, but it was just pounding on my brain, making my eyes go all spotty. I tried to stick it out, Roy, really; I know how much these games mean to you, to the whole team. But then I felt like I was going to vomit and-” Keeley chokes on a sob. “I couldn’t find anywhere else quiet to go.”

“Right, well come on,” Roy reaches out slowly and squeezes one of her shoulders. “There’s got to be somewhere better to sit than a men’s toilet stall. You’ve met the lads, they’re disgusting.”

Keeley chuckles, thick and teary, but drops her knees and lets Roy pull her to her feet. As soon as she’s standing, she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest. It can’t be too comfortable; he hasn’t taken off the Richmond windbreaker he wears for every game, but Keeley relaxes when Roy doesn’t push her away. Instead, he locks his arms around her shoulders and walks them both slowly back until he can drop onto one of the benches. Keeley stays leaned against him, but brings one hand up to cover her eyes where the harsh lighting seeps in.

“Alright, now, what is it?” Roy asks, when Keeley hasn’t said anything for a while. “You seemed alright when we left this morning.”

“I was. Or, I thought I was anyway. Just a little tired, maybe, but that was all. It was fine until the car ride, but then I got really queasy, and my head started throbbing.” Roy reaches up to scratch his fingers gently through her hair and she sighs. “It got a little better when we got out of the car, but then it was just so-”

“Loud, I know,” he finishes for her, then they both fall silent.

Exhaustion. Nausea. Headache. His sister had those symptoms once, just shy of eight years ago.

Shit.

“Keel. You don’t think you’re … You – we – couldn’t be … you aren’t …"

“What?”

“Um, pregnant? I know we’re careful, but …" Keeley cuts him off with a laugh that turns into a whimper, and he tightens his hold on her.

“No. Definitely not. Not this week, for sure. Just a migraine, I think. Used to get them sometimes, but it’s been a bit.”

“Good,” Roy sighs. “I mean, someday, maybe, but not …”

“Not yet,” Keeley agrees, and something goes warm in his chest, knowing that they’re on the same page. Right now, they don’t need to worry about anything except getting Keeley back in fighting shape.

“Have you taken anything?” She nods against his chest.

“This morning, um, in the car. It didn’t help much. Just need it dark. And quiet.”

“OK, that’s alright,” Roy whispers, dropping his voice even quieter. “It should be almost half, what say we find somewhere else for you to hole up before everyone comes barging in like heathens?”

He’s not sure exactly where they can go, but he knows he’s got to get Keeley out of the locker room before they clear the players off the pitch. She shrugs half-heartedly, and lets Roy pull her back to her feet. He doesn’t have a plan yet, but he starts walking them slowly toward the door as he looks around. There are no offices in here, no treatment rooms or storage closets.

He hasn’t checked the time since he found Keeley, but he’s played enough years of football that his body’s internal clock can feel the seconds ticking away. There’s maybe two or three minutes left, and Ted wants him to give the halftime pep talk. If he asked, if he explained everything, he could probably get out of it, maybe trade Beard for next week or something. Keeley needs him.

But the team needs him too.

All at once, it hits him.

Rebecca.

Rebecca doesn’t have a role in the halftime routine. There’s nothing happening on the field and she almost never comes to the locker room before the match ends. And she’s got a car here; that’s somewhere quiet Keeley can sit, at least until the second half gets underway.

He wiggles his phone out of his pocket again and reopens the text thread.

Found her in locker room. Migraine. Can you meet us and take her outside for halftime? Ted wants me to give speech.

Rebecca doesn’t reply, but a minute or so later, Roy hears the steady click-clack of her heels coming down the hall. Keeley whimpers, and he presses a kiss to her hair as the door swings open.

“Hey,” he says, shifting around to look at Rebecca.

“Hello,” she whispers back.

“Hey, Keeley, Rebecca’s here now,” Roy tips his face back down to whisper against the shell of her ear. “Think you can make it outside with her?”

“We can head back to the hotel, Keeley, if you think that’d help? It’s only a few minutes’ drive.”

“Yeah, ‘s quieter there,” she says, but doesn’t move.

“And I’ll meet you there just as soon as the match is done, hmm?” He runs his fingers up and down her arm, shifting away slightly. “Here, want to take my sunglasses, block out some of the light?”

At that, Keeley squeezes her eyes shut and turns her face up toward Roy. He chuckles and slides his glasses over her eyes, then brushes a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“Alright then, off you go,” He lets Rebecca take her by the arm and lead her back out of the locker room, trying to ignore the way his heart clenches at the sight of her trudging away, hunched over against her own discomfort.

He’ll be back with her soon enough. But the door has no more than swung shut behind them when it bounces open again. Jamie and Sam are leading the pack, the whole team piling in around him.

As usual, their energy is infectious, and Roy finds himself slapping hands and patting backs as he makes his way across the room to where Ted is bringing up the rear.

“Hey, Roy, you get everything all squared away?”

“For now. Rebecca’s taking Keeley back to the hotel; she’s not feeling well.” He should have known better than to hope that Ted Lasso would ever let anything drop with a simple explanation.

“Well that’d explain the text message I got from Boss Lady asking if she’d be alright rooming with me tonight.” Roy’s eyebrows go up at that. “And I’m guessin’ from the look on your face that she didn’t mention anything about that to you? Aw, geez, I hope I didn’t spoil a surprise or anything. But the cat’s out of the metaphorical bag now, isn’t it? So I might as well tell you that I told her that I was a-OK with switching up the room arrangements if that’s what’s best for everyone tonight. Thataways you can keep an eye on Keeley, and down the hall we can have Biscuits with the Boss: Evening Edition. How’s that sit with you?”

“Honestly, Ted, I have no opinion on what time of day you eat biscuits,” Roy sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But thanks. I think. For making sure I can be there for Keeley.”

“We’re all on the same team here, right? What’s good for the goose and all that, we’re at our best when everyone is at their own, individual best. Hey, speaking of, there are some guys in here, waiting for someone to put a little extra pep in their step for the back end of this game. If you’re not up for it, I can see what Coach Beard has up his sleeve, or-”

“No, it’s fine,” Roy cuts him off before the rambling can reach full speed again. “I’ve got this one.”

He turns back to the group, and yells for everyone to listen up. When he’s got their attention, he takes a deep breath.

“What you’re doing on the pitch today, it’s fucking amazing,” he starts. “Not the score, though that’s pretty alright too. But that doesn’t matter half as much as how you’re playing. Hell, you assholes keep communicating this well, you’re going to put us coaches out of a job. I know Ted’s all about the rhymes and anecdotes and shit, but that’s not … I’m not a walking greeting card store,” everyone chuckles, Ted included. “But get back out there, keep working together, and dammit, make the four of us redundant!”

There’s a round of half-sarcastic applause, then Ted steps forward.

“Alright, y’all heard the man. Don’t get tired, get us fire—well, actually, don’t get us fired. That’s not … take the sentiment of what Roy said, but do me a favor and don’t take him literally. I like working with y’all. Anyway, Coach Beard’s gonna take it from here, walk y’all through a couple plays for the second half.”

The players cluster around Beard and his whiteboard diagram, and Ted finds his way back over to Roy at the back of the group.

“You know, if you need to head out a little early today, we can pull through without you. Sometimes a team is strongest when it’s split up to work on all the different things it needs to get done. Like taking care of each other.”

Any other day, he likes to think he’d insist on staying for the rest of the match. But if he’s honest with himself, he knows that he’ll put Keeley first anytime she needs him to.

“That’d be great, Ted. Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem, Roy. I’ll come check up on y’all when we get back?” Roy nods and shakes Ted’s hand quickly, then slips out of the locker room while Beard is saying something about the Sheffield players having “lots of power, like a high-watt light bulb.”

He doesn’t have a car, doesn’t feel like waiting on an Uber, so it’s a half-hour's walk back to the hotel. When he gets there, Rebecca is already waiting for him in the lobby.

“Ted gave me your room number,” she starts, as soon as they’ve said their hellos. “Keeley’s up there lying down. I, uh, I assumed yours was the bed with the unicorn on it?”

“It’s Phoebe’s,” he groans. “But yes.”

“I’m sure.” But she’s smirking like she might not be. “Anyway, Ted’s things are already taken care of, and I think I got everything of Keeley’s into your room, but she unpacked her entire suitcase first thing, so I might’ve missed some shoes or something.”

“No problem. She’ll get them back, I’m sure. Thanks for taking care of her.”

“Anytime, Roy. Really. I’m just down the hall, if either of you need anything.”

Roy nods his thanks and steps into the elevator.

He swipes his key card to unlock the door, then turns the handle and pushes it open slowly. The lights are turned off, and the curtains drawn, so he makes his way carefully, trying to remember if these rooms have any wayward furniture for him to stumble over.

Thankfully, the walkway is clear. He sits gently on the edge of his bed, smiling when the Keeley-shaped lump of covers shifts closer to him.

“Hey, babe,” she mutters.

“Hi,” Roy presses his lips together and pats what he thinks is probably her knee through the blankets. “Feeling better?”

“A little. Rebecca gave me water. And it’s quiet here.”

“Yeah, it is.” He’s not sure what else to say, but Keeley saves him from having to carry on the conversation.

“There’s a unicorn on your bed. ‘S soft.”

“His name is Captain McKibbin,” Roy replies, rolling his eyes even though he knows she can’t see from here. “I’ll tell Phoebe you like him.”

“Please do.”

“Anything else you need?”

“Just you,” she says, and it’s so quietly honest that if Roy weren’t already pretty sure he’s in love with her, it would have sealed the deal. He toes his shoes off and shimmies out of his windbreaker and trousers.

“Alright, well shove over then,” he teases, nudging her shoulder until there’s room for him to lie down beside her. When he pulls the covers back, he recognizes the hoodie she’s wearing as the one he’d crammed into the top of his bag when he packed last night. It’s three sizes too big, and she’s got one of her own just like it, but she looks far better in Roy’s than he ever will.

As soon as he’s lying down, Keeley is turning over and fitting herself against his side, tucking her face back into his bare chest. It’s still early in the evening, and Roy knows that if he falls asleep now, he’ll spend all week regretting it. But Keeley needs the rest, and there’s not much he can do without turning on the TV or lighting up his phone screen.

Besides, one afternoon nap never killed anyone, right?

So he closes his eyes and listens to her steady breathing. When Keeley wakes up, hopefully the worst of the migraine will have passed, and she’ll feel more like herself again. Roy knows they’ve got a pass on team bonding tonight, if they need it, and he doesn’t want to push Keeley into anything she’s not up for. But rumor has it that Beard found a pub with a bowling alley in it, and that’s bound to be entertaining, no matter the scores at the end of the night.

For right now, though, the only thing that matters is Keeley, curled up against him and warmer than all the blankets stacked on top of them. She’s asleep, and he’s following close behind, and nothing matters beyond the comfort they share.

Not migraines, or bowling, or trick plays, or shoes that might have been left down the hall, or anything but Roy and Keeley and this moment together, in the dark and the quiet.

Just them.

[australiancarisi]

12 with olivia benson please!

Words: 2550 Remember when I said these were gonna be drabbles… also Nick, Rafael, Mike & Kat are in this because I love them all thx for coming to my ted talk

‘how is my wife more badass than me?’

You groaned as you rolled over to Liv’s side of the bed to turn the blaring alarm off. It took a lot of effort and tries but you eventually managed to turn it off with a huff. You wrapped the blanket around you, closed your eyes and snuggled into Liv’s pillow. You peeped an eye open when you heard Liv chuckle.

“What” you mumbled

“You are just adorable” Liv smiled from the doorway to your bathroom

“Why are you out of bed?” you whined rolling onto you back

“Because although it is your day off my love, it is not mine” Liv said and headed back into the bathroom to continue getting ready.

“But the alarm only just went off. If I’m going to be woken up early on my day off a mere five hours after getting home from my shift, I should get cuddles” you demanded. “I’m not joking” you said as Liv laughed at you. You sat up slightly when you noticed your bedroom door slowly open “here’s my cuddles”

“y/n” Noah ran up and jumped onto the bed and got straight into your arms

“Hello sweet boy, how do you have so much energy at 6 in the morning” you grinned smothering his face with kisses. Noah’s laugh had to up there as one of your favourite sounds, so pure, so innocent. Liv leant against the door frame and watched the two of you together. She had been so nervous when the two of you had started dating about how Noah would take to you, but from the moment he met you, he was glued to your side and you were wrapped around his little finger. Even now, two years into your marriage and nothing had changed.

“See this could have been all yours but now Noah gets all the cuddles” you squeezed him a little tighter making him giggle.

“Alright you two” Liv playfully rolled eyes “Come on Noah let’s get you ready for school before Lucy gets here”

“Nooooo”

“Yesssss” Liv teased him

“But I wanna stay with y/n” 

“I can get him ready” you said with a yawn

“The only thing you are going to do is go back to sleep” Liv said

“But-“

“No buts. You didn’t get home until 1am you need to sleep my love” Liv pecked your lips and reached out to Noah, who just snuggled into you “Noah” he whined again. Your schedule had been all over the place lately. You had been doing doubles and night shifts for the last few weeks, you had barely seen Liv let alone Noah, it was no wonder he was clinging to you

“Go on sweet boy, I promise I’ll be there to pick you up after school” you kissed his forehead

“Promise?” He asked holding his pinkie up. You wrapped yours around his.

“Pinkie promise. 3 o’clock. I’ll be there” with the promise of seeing you later agreed on Noah left.

“Get some sleep my love” Liv smiled kissing you again before turning off the lights leaving you to catch up some much-needed rest.

When you woke up again it was nearly 11am. You jumped up pottered around the house, cleaning up Noah’s toys, putting away any dishes and things that were lying around and doing some laundry. These were your favourite type of days, where you just chilled at home, cleaned and were able to do things at your own pace.

“To what do I owe the pleasure Captain” you grinned, answering your phone

“Do I need a reason to call my wife?” Liv asked. You could basically hear her rolling her eyes.

“No, but it is out of the ordinary”

“What are you doing?” Liv asked, changing the subject

“Just about to leave actually, going to meet Jas for lunch at the café down the street. Even put on jeans for the occasion” You locked the door as you headed out to meet your friend.

“Wow fancy…” she trailed off and you could hear her talking to Sonny and Amanda

“How busy are you today?” you asked when you heard her lift her phone back to her ear

“You don’t even want to know… that’s why I called I doubt I’ll be home for dinner”

“It’s okay- “

“No, it's not” Liv cut you off with a frustrated sigh “I need to be home more, I need to spend more time with you and Noah and- “

“And you need to work. Because it’s what you love, because you are helping the people that need it. You are a good police officer, the best actually. Noah and I can handle a few late nights. Besides Noah needs something to be mad about when he’s a teenager” you joked. You smiled as you heard Liv chuckle a little. You hated how much pressure put on herself to be perfect at everything.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Liv asked

“Once or twice but I’ll never grow tired of hearing it”

“I love you”

“I love you too, I’ll see you when I’m looking at you, be safe”

“Always”

“You know you have a stupid look on your face” your friend and co-worker Jas said as you met out the front of the café while hanging up the phone

“It’s called love, you should try it sometime” you teased

“No thank you” Jas replied with a laugh. The two of you sat in the busy café and caught up on everything outside of work. Jas told you about one of the many guys she had on the go at the moment, you gushed about Liv and Noah.

“I mean seriously if I could I’d shove my foot where the sun doesn’t shine” Jas huffed bitching about one of your co-workers.

“I should probably go, need to run a couple of errands before I pick up Noah” You looked at your phone double-checking the time, an hour before you had to get Noah. You and Jas went to stand up when all hell broke loose. Everything changed in a split second. One moment you were sitting there with your friend having an amazing day and the next you were hiding under a table as a man held the café at gunpoint.

“NOBODY MOVE” he screamed turning in a circle with his gun pointed and ready to shoot. “NO ONE MOVES NO ONE CALLS THE COPS” You slowly and quietly got your phone out.

“What are you doing?” Jas whispered, her voice shaking in fear “did you not just hear him?”

“There’s no way I’m not texting Liv” you huffed

Liv sighed as she waited for the coffee machine to brew a new jug. Her eyes felt like they were going to fall out after all the paperwork she had been doing all day. All her detectives had been out either talking to victims or following leads so all she had done today was sit at her desk and do paperwork and reply to emails. Picking up her cup, Liv headed back out to the squad room as she heard everyone return. As Amanda was filling everyone in on the lead that she and Sonny had been following when everyone’s phone buzzed, and officers began moving.

“Café being held at gunpoint” Fin frowned

“Unknown gunman, unknown reason” Kat read from her phone

“I wonder which one” Sonny thought aloud

“Café 98” Liv almost threw her coffee on the nearest desk running into her office to grab her gun and badge.

“How do you know?” Fin asked

“Y/n is there”

Half an hour had passed, you could now hear the sirens of police officers in the distance, Liv responded and told you she was on the way and it was going to be okay. It was only words, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel better. The gunman was shouting at the café workers, blaming them for everyone being taken hostage because they didn’t give him money. You took deep breaths and tried to stay calm. The café phone rang, then again and again.

“Someone shut that fucking phone up!” the man yelled

“It’s going to keep ringing” your mouth said before your mind could stop you

“What was that bitch?” He started moving towards you. You slowly stood up, hands in the air.

“The p-phone. It’s the police. They want to talk, and they are going to keep calling until you answer” you stuttered, your confidence slowly falling.

“How would you know?” He sneered “you a cop?”

“No!” you quickly exclaimed “uh no I’m not but I am married to one. My wife is the captain at the 16th” you pulled your phone out of your pocket to show him your lock screen. It was a picture of you and Liv – her in her uniform - when she promoted to captain.

“You answer it then” he motioned with the gun towards the phone. You slowly walked over to the counter, focused on the man and the gun and picked up the phone.

“Hello” you said

“Hello, this is Captain Mike Dodds who is this?” you breathed a sigh of relief at the familiar voice.

Olivia jumped out of the car at the scene, almost before Fin had actually stopped the car. It was chaos. Uniforms were holding back the public as well as journalists. There were lights flashing and being screaming. Olivia could hear people asking if it was a terrorist attack but right now, she didn’t care about motive, all she wanted was to get you out of there. Flashing her badge, she and the rest of the squad were let through and they headed towards ground zero.

“Who’s in charge?” Liv asked a nearby uni who pointed her in the direction. She had a small smile when she saw Mike and Nick hunched over a table. “Captain Dodds, Sargant Amaro”

“Liv” the pair frowned “what are you guys doing here? This is major crimes’ not svu”

“y/n is in there” Fin said

“So what do you know?” Liv asked

“Not a lot. No contact has been made yet. We’re about to try again” Nick said as Mike lifted the phone to his ear.

“Hello, this is Captain Mike Dodds who is this?” Mike asked, his eyes met Liv and he quickly put the phone onto speaker. “y/n is anyone hurt?

“No, no one is hurt. There’s probably about 30 of us in here” hearing your voice was music to Liv’s ears. Mike asked you a few more questions, not that you were able to give him much more information.

“Mike, I need you to tell Liv someone has to get Noah, I was supposed to pick him up from school and he’s going to be so upset if I’m not there” Liv turned to her squad, she hadn’t even thought of Noah.

“I’m on it” Sonny nodded pulling his phone out and moving away from everyone.

The fact that Mike was the person on the other end of the line made you a little less anxious. You tried to give him as much info as possible, but the gunman was not giving you anything, he wouldn’t even tell them what he wanted. 

“Mike, I need you to tell Liv someone has to get Noah, I was supposed to pick him up from school and he’s going to be so upset if I’m not there and-“

“Alright that’s enough” the gunman grabbed the phone out of your hand and hung up. You quickly moved back to your spot under the table. The gunman was growing anxious, pacing around the room, it was clear he didn’t have a plan.

“There’s a back door” Jas whispered “a few of us could get out”

“I’ll distract him”

“I think Liv would kill me if I left you in here” Jas huffed

“If you get out the police can get it, she’ll live with it” you slowly stood back up “you should really stay away from the windows”

“What?” the man spat at you

“The police, they’ll be looking for a spot for a sniper to take you out” you walked towards him, moving around so he kept his eyes on you. Jas and a couple others started to creep towards the door. You were racking your brain trying to remember everything Liv had ever told you about hostage situations.

“Shouldn’t you stay away from the windows to then?”

“My wife’s a cop. You don’t think she’s out there?” you chuckled “And the guy on the phone before? He was her number 2 not too long ago, he got promoted not too long before my wife, he goes to my son’s dance recitals, he’s not gonna let anything happen to me. I doubt there is an officer that doesn’t know what I look like. They aren’t going to shoot me, but they will shoot you” your eyes swept the room quickly, Jas was out.

“Then maybe I should just shoot you” he held the gun to your face. You held your breath and closed your eyes. You thought of Liv and Noah and how much you loved them. Suddenly the back door opened and your eyes shot open.

“NYPD!” the gunman’s attention turned to the police officers, then, without thinking you grabbed the gun and his arm, flipping him to the ground. You quickly ripped the gun from his hand and took it apart.

“Seems you learnt some tricks over the years” Mike grinned coming up to you as one of the other officers handcuffed the man. You wrapped your arms around him and relaxed, you were okay, everyone was okay.

“She’s out there right?” you needed your wife right now

“did you expect her to be anywhere else?” Nick smirked joining you and Mike. He wrapped his arm around you too “took almost everyone to keep her from busting through the door herself” you grinned at that. Classic Liv. Mike and Nick lead you out the front door of the café. The moment you stepped out you found Liv. She was standing with Jas and the rest of the squad. Her eyes locked with yours and you thought you were going to start crying. The two of you ran to each other, throwing your arms around the other.

“Oh my love” Liv squeezed you “are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay” you whisper into her neck

“She’s more than okay” Mike said, you pulled back from Liv’s arms. The rest of the squad joined you. “not only did she distract him to get those guys out, when we came in she grabbed his gun and disarmed him”

“Nice” Kat grinned, clearly impressed

“How is my wife more badass than me?” Liv grinned and kissed your forehead

“Learnt from the best” you responded “Noah…”

“All covered, Raf’s got him” Sonny said “He’s no y/n but I’m sure Noah was just as excited to see Uncle Rafa”

“Probably more” you laughed, you grabbed Liv’s hand and squeezed “Let’s go see our son”

“Anything you want my love” Liv kissed your lips “I’m so proud of you”

[janiedean]

Hi, you're very good at explaining stuff so I was wondering if you could write something about how Brienne ending up as someone's bodyguard/in their kingsguard or whatever isn't a good ending for her (even if the person is supposedly worthy?) Thank you!

I think I went into it more in depth back in the day in case it's under the janie writes meta tag but in short:

there is a thing named character development which means that if brienne starts the series wanting to be in renly's kg then ending the series being in someone else's kg... makes no sense

specifically: brienne wants to be in renly's kg because she doesn't literally see any other way to be in songs/be the closest thing to a knight she can get/be near the man she loves

breaking it more in depth: - brienne is in love with renly because other than being her type he's also the one person who treated her with some basic decency like not even WELL just with some basic decency - renly knows that and he admittedly said he kept her around bc he knew she was loyal but like... he didn't care about her - brienne thinks that she can't marry anyone bc she's not marriage material nor love story that is reciprocated material but also that like... she can't be a knight officially bc she's a woman so basically being in renly's kg is the closest she can get to it - which means that basically she's gone like 'okay I'll live a celibate life forever in the shadow of a man I love who doesn't love me back for whom I'd die when he doesn't care either way because it's the closest to being a knight I can manage in this shitty society even if I'm technically a highborn lady and I would actually like to have a family and someone to love me back' - which is... a pretty miserable position to live also I can 100% assure you that thinking you'll never get anyone and you have to settle is like Not Standard Attractive Experience™ and like... so she's an ugly™ woman who can't have what she wants but tries anyway and settles for the best thing

also: kingsguards in asoiaf are coded as bad like I've said it since forever but the kingsguards are rotten organizations, knighthood is a rotten thing and all the good knights in these books are people who are reviled, laughed at or not consider themselves one (jaime brienne and sandor l m a o) and all the ones that are considered good/great/spotless are... bad or shit or gregor clegane and as I've ranted more than once (here and here) brienne is slated to be the in-verse recognized truest/best knight including actually getting the title so if she's that good the point is... she can't be part of a rotten organization now is it

now: the moment renly's toast and she can't be in his kg anymore brienne's sl goes like... she swears herself to the first woman who doesn't treat her like crap/respects her which is supposed to become her own aerys and meets the guy she's canonically in love with by the end of affc with whom she has a storyline that's like... stated to go in a reciprocation way and meeting said guy makes her realize that she sees the world too much in b/w and that guy also gives her a priceless sword and sends her on a quest and oh hey after that she has to... do what killed *his* will to be a good knight ie killing her former mad liege lady bc the choice is that or the guy she loves (I mean going on speculation but that's what was the affc choice) and like... the difference is that she won't throw in the towel and go on and then she'll get to shine and be the knight she was always 100% meant to be and so on

and like... point in brienne's sl: she hates that she's not fit to be a worthy son or daughter for her father bc she was too freakish? well she's going to get both as in if these books don't end with ser lady brienne of tarth being with the man of her dreams I'm eating my own hat because as I ranted above it's all textually there

and guess what... brienne has her own storyline and she's going to come out on top and for that she has to be front and center of her own piece of story

which....... if she gets into a kingsguard doesn't happen because she would swear herself into a life of service for someone else to whom she'd always come second and if it's sansa's it's even worse bc it means she should sacrifice her personal wants, the chance at being with a man she loves, her own title and having a family bc she's serving... the standard attractive lady bc she's idk she owes catelyn a debt? iiii dooon't thiiink so and like since sansa is also stated to have her own love story in a book where it says both beautiful girls and ugly girls get it if the ugly girl gets into the kingsguard then.... what message does it send? the one that dnd did which is not the one grrm wants to send

brienne bodyguarding ppl means that she's playing second fiddle to someone else and sacrificing her own wants and needs because she doesn't believe she deserves them beyond TRYING TO BE A KNIGHT and her arc isn't going like that, so if she starts it like that then there is no way in hell it ends in the exact same place

brienne is stated to be the first anointed lady knight and to do whatever the fuck she wants with it/after and to have her cake and eat it (knighthood and love story) and anything that goes against that/says that she has to end up in a subservient position to someone who only values her skillset and her loyalty goes against everything the text has stated

also, tldr: brienne ending up in a kg has an 'ugly girls have to settle and can't be happy romantically and if they follow their dreams they can only have it halfway and in a demeaning way' message printed the fuck over it in neon letters and that's not what grrm wants to say or ever wanted to imply and I'm dying on this hill /two cents, welcome to my ted talk

[edettethegreat]

Review of Romeo X Juliet (the anime adaption of Romeo and Juliet, VERY loosely based off of the original play)

Well I think it’s gonna be kinda long, so I’m gonna put a cut right here.

OK.

What it got right/ what was in there that was in the actual play:

Romeo and Juliet are from two opposing families (Montague and Capulet). They fall in love with each other. There are some other characters who also exist.  

What was in there that was NOT in the actual play:

Literally everything and anything else. This is not an exaggeration in the least bit. Juliet grows wings at some point. And maybe turns into an actual tree.

So. What’s Romeo X Juliet about?

The basic Premise:

Montague (not the whole family- just Romeo’s father) is the main antagonist. He kills out the entire Capulet family when Juliet is a child, but somehow Juliet is rescued. Juliet spends the next like 13-14 year of her life pretending to be a boy by the name of Odin to hide from Montague, and also does vigilante work, because life isn’t so good under Montague’s rule. Oh yeah, Montague’s like. The king or something. 

There are also characters from other Shakespeare plays there. And Shakespeare himself is a character. 

The Characters:

Characters who aren’t from Romeo and Juliet (but are from other Shakespeare plays):

Shakespeare himself- he’s literally just Shakespeare himself. Just chilling, watching the whole plot go down. 

Emilia- an actress in Shakespeare’s acting troupe

Regan- a servant girl working for Shakespeare’s mother’S family.

Cordelia- I think she’s like. A servant to the Capulet family? Who got away with Juliet when Montague killed them off? Anyway she’s Plot relevant. She marries Benvolio.

Ophelia- oh boy. Where do I even start. OK you know what? I’ll get to this when I get up to Escalus. Just. Scroll to where I talk about Escalus.

Petruchio- he’s pretty irrelevant- he only exists for one episode, and then he dies a tragic death

Hermione- the girl Romeo’s engaged to. 

Characters that are actually from Romeo and Juliet: 

(In the order of easiest to explain to hardest to explain)

Juliet- Ok. She’s the main character. She does vigilante work until she can’t anymore. 

Romeo- literally just Romeo. Exactly what you’d expect from Romeo. He doesn’t do anything mind blowing. I mean, he does try to kill Montague, but everyone tries to kill Montague because he’s basically a dictator.

Lady Montague- I think she went off to become a nun or something, because she didn’t like that her husband was basically a dictator who goes around murdering people. She’s nice. I liked her.

Benvolio- not the brightest guy. Really. He and his family gets exiled because his father disagreed with something Montague said. Ends up marrying Cordelia.

Mercutio- one of the antagonists, but literally the worst one. He decides to betray Romeo and join Team Antagonists because I think he wanted power or something? It wasn’t entirely clear. He then betrays his father to Montague, and Montague kills his father. Then Montague tells him that he’s totally better than Romeo and he could totally replace him as Montague’s son. So you’re probably thinking “hey that sounds a lot like that one part of Edmund’s arc”- BUT IT’S NOT- Mercutio is about 0% dedicated to any of this and is a huge coward. Then he tries to kill Romeo. That doesn’t work out. Then he kills Montague and goes mad. I don’t know why he does any of this. I don’t think he himself knows why he does any of this. Also he’s *really* annoying. (Literally just go watch it- you’ll see- he’s *so* annoying.)

Montague- OK SO. This fellow here has actually a tragic backstory that motivates his evilness. Listen to this wild ride of of a story: So. Capulet (not Juliet’s father- her grandfather or great grandfather or someone else related but not her father) had a affair with some lower class lady, and MONTAGUE WAS THE RESULT. YES. THAT’S RIGHT. I HAVE ANOTHER TRAGIC SAD LITERAL AND FIGURATIVE BASTARD TO ADD TO MY COLLECTION. Anyway. Montague just wanted to kill out the whole Capulet family as revenge. Sounds fair enough. So he gets adopted or something by the Montague family, kills out the people ahead of his until he’s the heir (I think?), and then goes on a killing spree with the Capulet family. Then he becomes. Like. An evil dictator. That lowers his coolness by a large percentage. He was pretty neat before, but I’m not so pro-evil dictators. 

Tybalt- HOLD ON. IF YOU THOUGHT MONTAGUE’S STORY WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY BUT GREAT NONETHELESS, THEN BEHOLD THE STORY HERE.  Ok so. He’s introduced when he suddenly appears out of nowhere being super mysterious. Juliet was doing some vigilante work, and it looked like she was about to get caught, and he swoops in and saves the day. And Juliet’s all like “who on earth are you?” And he basically says “the name’s Tybalt- I’m loyal to the Capulet family- that’s all you gotta know”. (He might also tell her that he’s her cousin- idk). Anyway. He spends most of the time being mysterious and kinda emo, and hating Montague. Until his tragic backstory is revealed. BASICALLY. You know how I mentioned Montague was climbing the rankings in the Montague family? So at that time, the Montagues and Capulets weren’t really enemies or anything. So they hung out. And while climbing the ranks, he ended up courting a Capulet- Juliet’s mom’s sister. THAT’S RIGHT. TYBALT IS THE SON OF MONTAGUE AND A CAPULET. ANOTHER BOTH LITERAL AND FIGURATIVE BASTARD. I HAD NO IDEA THERE WOULD BE ONE, LET ALONE TWO. YOU ALL KNOW THAT’S MY FAVORITE TYPE OF CHARACTER. 

Me, when the Montague and Tybalt reveals happened:

And onto the absolute craziest change made to any character ever-

Escalus- He’s. He’s a tree. A physical tree. I’m not even kidding. I wish I was. He’s a physical magical tree, that magically sustains the world. Ophelia (remeber I said I’ll explain her when I explain Escalus?) is the magical guardian of this magical tree. The tree is sustained by the women of the Capulet family occasionally sacrificing themselves to merge with the tree or something? Towards the end of the show the world starts literally collapsing around everyone, and Ophelia is like “hey Juliet the only way to save the world is for you to sacrifice yourself and come merge with the tree. If not the everyone will literally die.”

And Juliet’s like “yeah sounds fair”. But Romeo’s like “NO! I love you! You will not merge with a tree!” 

And Ophelia’s like “um. Literally everyone will die if she doesn’t.” And Romeo’s like “But at least we’ll die together!!”. So Ophelia and Romeo fight each other and they both kill each other. Then Juliet’s like “welp since romeo’s already dead, i may as well die too.” And (I think??) merges with the tree? Also she grows wings. Anyway. That’s that. That’s the show. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

OTHER THINGS- Mainly about Tybalt because I love him (more specifically- I love emo vigilante Tybalt, but the play version of angry rich boy Tybalt)

-When Romeo finds out that Tybalt is kinda his brother, he’s like “oh cool! You’re my brother now!” And Tybalt is like “huh. Yeah, I guess you’re right”- and from there onward they are 100% committed to being brothers. 

-There’s this one scene where Tybalt, Romeo, and Juliet all simultaneously decide “yup Im gonna go kill Motague. I have the biggest right to kill him. He’s for me to kill”. So Tybalt gets there first and is like “PLOT TWIST I’M YOUR SON!” And draws his sword. Then Romeo enters and is like “YOUR REIGN OF TYRANNY IS OVER!” And draws his sword. And then Juliet comes in and is like “I AM JULIET OF THE HOUSE OF CAPULET!”. And then Juliet decides not to kill him, because Mercy (TM). And then Mercutio comes in and stabs him, because (here’s a bit of the plot I forgot to mention) Montague sent him to hold off the rebellion (The Capulet’s team+ most of the citizens), and Mercutio epically failed. So he was like “the citizens will kill me if I go to them. And Montague will kill me if I go to him. Welp. I guess I have to kill him.” Then Mercutio goes mad. Because why not.

-Benvolio and Mercutio have literally nothing to do with each other. I don’t think they ever even speak. What 

-everyone rides around on these dragons with wings called Dragon Steeds.

-Also instead of it taking place in Verona, it takes place in Neo-Verona. A floating city miles above ground. 

-I think that’s it

[pocketramblr]

Free ask, rant about anything you want

i just woke up and m y heart is already going weirdly fast so i think i will answer this, write some, then pass out again, then finish packing tonight lets go

ok so im going to rant about uh, why cutting out your moral musical number in you movie musical adaptation is stupid and dumb and why you shouldn't do it

ok so into the woods, a story about stories and families and how those connect. there's a LOT of talking about legacy and tales. The Narrator and the baker's Father is played by the same actor for a reason. the whole baker line is a line of storytellers, and thats important.

In the opening song, there are three households- three stories. Cinderella, Jack the Giant Slayer, and The Baker and His Wife. yes little red is also a character, but shes... not one of the big three. we'll put a pin in her. So, the big three. The Narrator/Mystery Man is the narrator of Jack's story.

The baker's Wife is the narrator of Cinderella

and the Baker is the narrator of his own story

So, Mystery Man shows up and meets Jack after he starts his story going to sell his cow, and mocks him, tells him that he values his cow more than a sack of beans. Later, the Baker and Wife will show up to actually convince him to sell him the cow for just less than a sack of beans (all of the beans, minus one.) The Narrator sets up a point to the Main Character (Jack), and another character in the story he's Narrating picks it up later.

The baker's Wife does the same thing- she shows up right after Cinderella's story properly starts, right after she runs from the first night of the ball, and asks her about the very nice prince. she specifically asks if he's "sensitive, clever, well-mannered, considerate, passionate, charming, as kind as he's handsome"

Later, after the (lowercase n) narrator of Cinderella sets that line up for the Main Character (Cinderella), another character of the story picks it up when cinderella's Prince asks the exact same list of things, though he then goes on his own way.

After Act 1 though, when the stories 'end', the Narrator and narrator get in trouble in the same way for trying to continue narrating them. The Narrator (capital n) gets sacrificed to the Giantess when the other characters claim he's the one she's looking for. He got mistaken for the main character of the story he told, and died for not actually being that mc. the baker's Wife, also a narrator, ends up dying after cinderella's Prince has a tyrst with her- she took the spot of her main character and even alluded "wait, what am i doing, i'm in the wrong story". After the affair, she has a Moral Song, Moments in the Woods, and then gets killed by the Giantess.

BUT

as Narrator and narrator, the baker's Father and Wife can still provide insight onto the story after they die. And they do. The Wife sings in the finale, and the Father has 'no more', which doubles as the Moral Song for both Narrator ghost dad and narrator baker son. Because, of course, the Baker narrates his own story.

BUT

THE MOVIE

COMPLETELY CUT OUT NO MORE

which

1- takes out more connections of the storyteller baker line, leaving the Narrator and Baker's Wife as far less obvious counterparts

2- completely takes out the Baker learning from his father BOTH AS FATHER and as STORYTELLER. theres a reason that at the end he starts telling the baby the same way the Narrator did, its supposed to connect and aaargnn it doesnt now

3- defeats the purpose of a musical?? which is to express emotions through song? instead the baker just sits there sadly for a second after maybe seeing the ghost of his dad (who isn't even a Narrator here!!! whyyyyy YES i know how you could have adapted a narrator into the movie medium. i know its different than stage. its not impossible and it could have been so cool but they didn't even try.) and listens to the background music of 'no more' and then just gets up and decides to go back. WHY DID HE NOT EXPRESS EMOTION THROUGH SONG. this is his BIG DEFINING CHARACTER MOMENT. its IMPORTANT. that means that in a musical its supposed to be MARKED WITH A SONG

anyway the 'adaptation' of into the woods was afraid to actually make changes so instead of properly adapting the story to the medium they just chopped off a couple of chunks that didn't fit into the runtime and then shoved it together. they didn't think about the ramifications of the changes!! you could argue that rapunzel's story was a 'change' but honestly to me it just feels like like just a 'cut out' the ending because they didn't think about how changing rapunzel's ending WOULD CHANGE THE WITCH'S. because she ONLY ACTED LIKE SHE DID because rapunzel DIED. rapunzel, happy, safe, away from the giantess?? she would have had to be forced to face the fact that she was wrong! which she didn't do! because in the play! her whole lamment was "I WAS RIGHT". she thought she was RIGHT to lock rapunzel away bc as soon as she left, she died. she wouldn't have had the truama of desert childbirth (twice.) and gone mad and gotten crushed by a giantess if she had completely remained in the tower! and thats why the witch doesn't come around until after the finale after she. dies(?) it gets to be ambigous with her. BUT NO NOT HERE. just lop of bits of the story it doesnt matter

it doesn't matter if the three of Witch's Mother, Witch, and Rapunzel is supposed to very much be a foil to Baker's Father, Baker, and Baby Son. who cares if storytelling and narrating was important! we're disney, we can do whatever!

anyway "No More" is my absolute favorite song from into the woods and i'll never forgive its absence or MOCKING ME WITH IT in the background music.

thank you for coming to my ted talk, i'll leave you with a parting question. was the un-fridging of rapunzel a total #win for feminism, or did the defanging of the story totally ruin the witch as a #girlboss?

[the-other-art-blog]

My thoughts on Little Men Part 1: Jo and Frizt

I started this book with a bit of discouragement because I knew Amy wasn’t going to be in it. May had asked her sister not to write about her because of all the mail that distracted her. I’m sure she had her fans, but also there must have been tons of stupid people blaming her splitting Jo and Laurie. So, I was sad about it. However, I was pleasantly surprised by this sequel. I loved it!

I won’t go chapter by chapter, but by theme/characters this time.

The Bhaers

The image of Jo walking while reading, with little Ted following her is so sweet. And Fritz is also very affectionate to his kids. And I love how Jo treats Franz and Emil as her own.

Also, I’m developing this in another post, but I just have to say that I like Jo this time much more. She’s grown!

And it’s great that she had sons. Poor Demi, without Ted, Rob, Franz and Emil, he would have been the only boy. So I guess that is a big thanks to Friedrich.

She also knows that liberty is not doing whatever you want not minding others. Liberty is an act of responsibility and Dan needs to learn that. I love how she identifies herself to Dan and Nan and decides to help them.

She’s really in her element here. Her dream is actually coming true. She has a school full of boys, which she always felt more comfortable with. She has a chance to educate them as best as she can. Plus, she built a beautiful family with Friedrich.

The marriage is a very happy one and I just love this quote for when Jo wanted to bring Nan to the school:

Now, if you make fun of my plan I'll give you bad coffee for a week, and then where are you, sir?" cried Mrs. Jo, tweaking him by the ear just as if he was one of the boys.

He was very sweet in getting the girls kites to make up for Daisy’s ball.

Also, I think it was great that even though Ted and Rob are their kids, they are treated with the equal firmness. And that makes them great parents. When Rob didn’t pick up the nuts in time, Fritz didn’t let him skip school. Ted is still very little, but Rob was made accountable for his laziness.

Little Ted killed with his cuteness so many times:

My Danny's tummin' soon.

Clapping his hands at the end, he made another double salutation, and then ran to hide his head in his mother's lap, quite overcome by the success of his "piece," for the applause was tremendous.

Plumfield

That school is amazing! We already knew the Marches reproved corporal punishment when Amy gets whipped by her teacher. In fact, Jo tells a story about how one day she ran away and Marmee whipped her. Her mother felt absolutely ashamed and never did it again.

She never whipped me but once, and then she begged my pardon, or I don't think I ever should have forgiven her, it hurt my feelings so much.

Why did she beg your pardon?–my father don't.

Because, when she had done it, I turned round and said, 'Well, you are mad yourself, and ought to be whipped as much as me.' She looked at me a minute, then her anger all died out, and she said, as if ashamed, 'You are right, Jo, I am angry; and why should I punish you for being in a passion when I set you such a bad example? Forgive me, dear, and let us try to help one another in a better way.'

Knowing this, it is understandable why she preferred to talk to Amy rather than doing something more drastic when she burned the book. She made Amy understand her wrong and tried to make peace between the sisters:

My dear, don’t let the sun go down upon your anger. Forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow.’

But back to this book, Plumfield is quite unique. The boys are there to learn about philosophy, math, science, literature, etc. All the things a regular school would teach. But Jo and Fritz go beyond that. The kids live there, so they are also responsible of teaching them about life. They have a garden, pets (one of which is called Christopher Columbus!!!!) and thanks to Laurie, a museum. Plus they can go into business! Which teaches them responsibility for their own money rightfully earned.

They’re firm but fair.

I absolutely love the idea of a weekly pillow-fight. The Bhaers invest a lot of time making sure moral lessons stick as much as the intellectual ones. And they have learned that kids should be kids and therefore they can’t just order them around. Part of educating a child is also letting them learn the limits and make decisions for themselves. 

The school must have a good reputation in town. Although the school accepts poor kids, they also have wealthy ones. Laurie and Amy already plan in sending Bess there too. I wonder if it transcended to other parts of Massachusetts, maybe Boston??? Nan’s father certainly liked it enough to sent her there, even though it only had a girl in it. The nineteenth century was opening to the idea of mixed schools, but it still something new and not everyone liked it. In 1862, Amy’s school was exclusive for girls. Boys need to learn to be kind to girls. And they all help each other be better people. More on the girls in another post.

They let each child develop its personality and help them transform their hobbies into things that can be useful for everyone.

[starryknight09]

Ironman doesn’t tolerate bullies

Febuwhump Day 23: “Don’t look”

Read on AO3.

________________________________________________________

As he flew headfirst through the locker room’s glass shower door, his only thought was how he was surprised he hadn’t actually seen this coming.  

“Holy shit!  Peter!” He heard Ned yell a split second before he hit the tile floor amidst a torrent of glass.

Pieces of the door had scattered everywhere and the light streaming in from the windows made the floor look like it was covered in diamonds.  Painful diamonds.  Some of the tiny pieces cut into his palms as he pushed off the floor.  Moving to stand, shards fell from his clothes and rained down onto the tile with a melodic tinkling noise.  Thank god he’d had time to get dressed and put his shoes on before Jack had decided it was time for him to get up close and personal with the shower door.  He stepped out of the stall, a handful of guys from his gym class watching him in shock.  Jack was nowhere in sight.  Maybe even he realized he’d crossed a line.

“Peter?” Ned asked quietly, taking a hesitant step toward him.  “Are you okay?”

“Um, I think so.” He looked down at his body but he didn’t see anything wrong besides the tiny cuts on his hands that he knew would heal within the hour.  Nothing really hurt, but it seemed like it should with the way Ned was looking at him like an accident victim.  “Why?  What’s wrong?”

“Uh…” Ned stared at him wide eyed.

Peter frowned and stepped around his friend to try to catch sight of his reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall, but Ned grabbed his arm and jerked him away.  “Don’t look.”  His friend said as he started guiding him out of the locker room.  “Let’s just uh go to the nurse’s office.”

“Is it that bad?” He asked.

“It’s fine.” Ned said but his voice got all high pitched like it did whenever he lied.

Everyone that he passed in the hallway stopped and stared at him.  Ok, it must be bad.  Still, nothing really hurt, although he felt something wet dripping down the sides of his face, which was odd because he didn’t think he’d landed in a puddle or anything.

Ned glanced back at him and his eyebrows rose.  “Uh let’s walk a little faster.  You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok.”

They picked up their pace and made it to the nurse’s office in record time.

“Mr. Leeds, I haven’t seen you in a while.  What brings you—  Oh goodness!” Betty, the nurse covered her mouth with a hand the second she caught sight of him.  “What on earth happened?” She asked as she led him to sit down on one of the beds.

“Jack Riley threw him through the glass shower door in the locker room.” Ned answered for him.

“He did, did he?  And why would he do that?” She asked, already putting on a pair of medical gloves.

“I guess I said something he didn’t like.” Peter said, not really wanting to get into it.

“He’s a bully.” Ned answered at the same time.

“Mr. Leeds if you could be a dear and go get Principal Morita for me?” Betty asked Ned as she carefully moved his hair around.  Ned took off like a shot.

“We really don’t have to—” Peter tried to protest.

“Now now dear, that was definitely not acceptable behavior.” She simply said, shutting him down.

Peter gave in with a sigh.

**********

When he’d finished reluctantly telling the entire story to Principal Morita, with Ned adding bits here and there, he had to admit he was happy to finally hear there were going to be repercussions.  Jack had started at Midtown a couple months ago and he’d spent the last six weeks making Peter’s life a living hell.  Sure, he’d dealt with bullies before, like Flash, but Jack was on a whole different level.  Flash said some annoying crap, but he’d never punched him, or held him up by his shirt against a locker, or threw him through a glass shower door.  Luckily, he was Spiderman with the healing factor that came with that, but at the same time, that same healing factor ensured no one had noticed what’d been going on because the evidence disappeared so quickly, and he hadn’t told anyone no matter how many times Ned had insisted he should.

“Well Mr. Parker, we’ll talk to a few more of your classmates but if they corroborate what happened, then at the least, Mr. Riley is looking at a long suspension.”

Peter nodded.

“Try not to move dear.” Betty chastised as she continued to pluck small pieces of glass from his scalp with a tweezer.  It had started to sting but still didn’t overtly hurt.

The secretary poked her head in the door and told Betty, “I got ahold of his aunt but she’s out of town, so she called the family friend he’s been staying with to come pick him up.  He’s on his way.”

Peter’s eyes widened and met Ned’s.  Shit.  He’d forgotten about that.  May had gone on a girl’s trip with some work friends to the Bahamas and she’d left him with Mr. Stark.  It’d been kind of a big leap in their relationship.  After he’d turned the man down for a spot on the Avengers, Mr. Stark hadn’t continued with the radio silence like Peter had expected him to.  Instead, he’d offered Peter an actual internship with him and they’d grown close over the past six months, but this was the first time he’d actually stayed over with him.  And even though Mr. Stark had acted all nonchalant about it, it was a big deal to Peter.  He’d tried to be on his best behavior and now here he was, causing trouble.

“Thank you Marge.” Betty said.  “Do you know how long he’ll be?  Because Peter’s definitely going to need to see a doctor.”

Peter groaned.

“She said around fifteen minutes.” Marge answered and then disappeared.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.  Oh, and Mr. Leeds, you should head back to class.” Principal Morita said as he walked out.  Peter heard him stop and tell Marge outside the door, “When his guardian gets here can you send him to my office so we can talk?”

“Of course.” Marge answered.

Wonderful.  There went any hope of Peter spinning this some other way.  This day was just getting better and better.

Ned shot him a pitying look.  “I guess I better go, but text me later.”

He gave his friend a thumbs up, trying not to grimace as he thought of the train wreck that was about to happen.

“Don’t worry.  It’ll be ok dear.” Betty patted him on the shoulder in reassurance.

“Yeah.” He mumbled, not too sure, as he waited silently, listening to the ping ping ping as Betty dropped glass shards into a small metal basin.  He hoped Mr. Stark wouldn’t be too mad.

**********

Twenty minutes later, Mr. Stark arrived.  Peter knew the exact time because he’d been religiously watching the clock on the opposite wall.

“Oh!  Mr.—  Mr.—” Peter heard the secretary stutter.

“Yeah hi.  Where’s my kid?”

“Um he uh…”

“Or should I just find him myself?” Mr. Stark sounded pissed.  Great.

“No, uh, I was just going to say, before you see him, Principal Morita wanted to uh talk to you.”

There were a few long seconds of silent before Mr. Stark said, “Fine.”

“Um, his office is just through here.” Peter heard Marge lead Mr. Stark away, so Peter was kept waiting, foot tapping the floor, his anxiety having no other outlet.

Thankfully, he only had to wait another five minutes before Mr. Stark swept into the room.

“Oh my goodness!” Betty exclaimed the moment she saw him.

“Jesus kid.” Mr. Stark said, ignoring Betty’s reaction to him as he took off his red tinted sunglasses.  “You look like an accident victim.”

“Is it really bad?  Ned wouldn’t let me look.” Peter complained, but given everyone’s reaction to him, he was curious.

“Probably better that way.” Mr. Stark said before finally acknowledging Betty, who stood in the corner of the room with her jaw practically on the ground.  “Is he good to go?”

“Oh!  Yes Mr. uh Mr. Stark.  I tried to get most of the glass out, but he um he should probably still see a doctor.” Betty instructed.

“Of course.  Let’s go kid.” Mr. Stark held an arm out and Peter stood and walked over to him.  As soon as he was within reach, Mr. Stark wrapped an arm around his shoulders and guided him out.

“You ok to walk?  Not dizzy or anything?” The man asked as they walked past the still shocked secretary and out into the hallway.

“No, I’m good.  I’m totally fine Mr. Stark.  I’m just really sorry you had to come all the way out here.” He said as they made their way to the exit.  They only met a few stragglers here and there in the hallway along the way. Every single one of them stopped to stare, and for the first time Peter wasn’t sure if it was because of what he looked like or just because Mr. Stark was there.  Peter was just thankful class was still in session so at least his entire school wasn’t gawking at them.  Although now the whole fake internship thing should finally get put to rest.  By the end of the day, he was sure everyone in Midtown would hear about how Mr. Stark led Peter Parker out of school.

Peter glanced at Mr. Stark and he noticed his mentor’s lips were pursed together, a clear indication that something was irritating him, but Peter didn’t know what.  Maybe it was because he was bleeding?  For some reason Mr. Stark always seemed to get peeved whenever he got hurt.

“All this is really no big deal.  It’ll be completely healed by tomorrow.” He tried to reassure him.

“Like all the other times?” Mr. Stark asked sharply.

Peter frowned.

“Because I’m guessing if this kid threw you through a glass shower door, this wasn’t the first time.”

“Are you mad?” He asked in surprise.

“Of course I’m mad!” Mr. Stark whisper yelled.  “My kid just got thrown through a glass door!  Why wouldn’t I be mad?”

Peter blinked in shock at the fact that Mr. Stark had just called him his kid, but the man didn’t even seem to notice as he continued, “How long has this been going on for?”

Peter shrugged.  “A couple weeks.”

Mr. Stark pushed the school door open and as they walked out Peter noticed the man’s Audi was illegally parked in front of the school.

“A couple weeks.” Mr. Stark echoed.  “So if I texted your Ted friend and asked him, he’d tell me the same thing?”

Peter looked up sharply at the man, brow furrowing.  He wouldn’t really do that, would he?

Mr. Stark raised his eyebrows at him in challenge.

Peter sighed, “Ok fine.  For six weeks.  But it’s fine.” He added when he saw the thunder cloud that moved in over Mr. Stark’s face.

Mr. Stark opened the passenger car door and guided him in before slamming it shut behind him.

“Does May know about this?” The man asked as soon as he got in the driver’s side.

Peter licked his lips.

“Of course she doesn’t.” Mr. Stark muttered, shaking his head as he answered his own question.  He started the car and the engine revved as they sped away.

“This is the kind of stuff you need to talk to someone about.  You need to tell an adult.”

“Why are you freaking out?  This is nothing compared to the stuff Spiderman goes through.” He didn’t understand what the big deal was.  A few weeks ago he’d literally taken a bullet to the arm and Mr. Stark hadn’t seemed this pissy.

“Because you weren’t Spiderman when this happened.  You were Peter Parker and you were at school, a place where you’re supposed to be safe!” Mr. Stark ranted.  “You shouldn’t be getting thrown through glass and getting your head all cut up to hell.”

That reminded him.  Ned and Mr. Stark had both discouraged him from looking, but he wanted to see what he looked like.  He flipped the visor down and adjusted it so the mirror faced him.

“What are you doing?”

“I want to see how bad it is.” He looked into the mirror.  “Oh wow.  That does look kind of bad.”

His hair looked like he’d tried to dye it a dark red and rivulets of dried blood ran down the sides of his face down his cheeks and temples and over his ears.

“Yeah, well, head wounds bleed a lot.” Mr. Stark said.

Peter flipped the visor back up as Mr. Stark let out heavy sigh.  “Why didn’t you tell me kid?”

He shrugged.  “Because it was a Peter Parker problem, not a Spiderman problem.”

“Pete you’ve got to stop talking about yourself like that.  Peter Parker is Spiderman and Spiderman is Peter Parker.  They’re not different people.  And…” Mr. Stark paused to clear his throat awkwardly, “I care about them both.”

Peter smiled.

“So next time I want to hear about this from you, not your principal.  Got it?”

“Yeah.”

“And I got that little shit expelled so you don’t have to worry about him causing you anymore trouble.”

“You did?”

“Of course I did.  Your idiot principal only wanted to suspend him, but I very persuasively explained all the reasons why that was a bad idea, and he agreed with me in the end.” Mr. Stark said.

“Um thanks.” Peter felt kind of bad he’d gotten one his classmates expelled, but at the same time he was relieved he wouldn’t have to deal with Jack’s abuse anymore, and honestly the jerk had deserved it.

“Don’t mention it kid.  Or actually do mention it, but sooner next time, so I can fix things before you get thrown through a glass door.”

Peter let out a laugh.  “Ok.  Deal.”

[gwyns]

you know, the first time i read az’s p/ov, i was kinda mad(?) at rhys, like, who the fuck did he think he was to be out there deciding who gets to kiss who?I just hated (and still do ugh) that whole conversation, but lately I thought of something. Rhys didn’t have to say the “if you want to fuck go to pleasure hall and pay for it”. That was mean, and seemingly unnecessary, he could just be like “you can’t be together, yada yada yada”and that’d be it. Everyone is weirded out by that (i think) bc in the past Rhys was like “ fuck politics i will save Feyre”, so it would have felt natural if Rhys supported his brother that was trying to be in a relationship with someone, even if this relationship could bring some sort of conflict. In fact, (and that’s the point to my whole ask lol) i think Rhys knows Az’s feelings for Elain are mostly sexual and not romantic or love, and most likely just one of the many ways Az redirects his feelings of unworthiness and self loathing into women he can’t have™️, Rhys knows that coming out and saying that to Az would have no consequence bc his friend is not Ready For That Conversation Yet. And that’s the whole “go to pleasure hall” thing, almost as if he was telling Az that he is just horny (and Az is horny, but for affection and a loving relationship) Rhys part of the convo felt wrong and hypocritical bc he was being like that, but not bc he’s big mean man, but bc he’s not letting his brother get in over his head for someone Rhys knows Az doesn’t love for real. Thanks for listening to my ted talk

i'll be honest, i love rhys in his chapter lmfao like yeah ok anyone can kiss whoever but i vehemently hate that ship so i'm glad someone stopped that shit 🙅‍♀️ i know that's not exactly the best mindset to have but i never said i was perfect.

and i get rhys coming off a bit hypocritical but we have to remember that feyre was pregnant at this time, that would definitely make rhys not want to take any risks, even if he himself took them in the past. not to mention he was dealing with the stress of the dumb bargain he and feyre made so i understand him not wanting a huge political mess all bc of az's dick lol

is it the 100% correct way to go about it? with both rhys and azriel speaking about elain as if she's a child? no, of course not, but i understand rhys' reasoning.

i agree tho, i think rhys at least somewhat gets that what az is feeling isn't true wuv uwu so him being a bit harsh is needed bc if he actually tried to talk with azriel about his feelings we all know shadow boy would book it bc he's not ready for that yet.

[flipmeforward]

mrs. poindexter (dex/nursey, pg-13)

WARNING: contains marriage proposal. the whole thing is soft af. inspired by this post on instagram. link to ao3.

Derek doesn’t see the actual invite until the night before the event. When he does see it, he’s pretty sure Dex has kept it away from him for fear of him going all Shitty on the institution that is Dex’s new employer, and okay, that’s fair, but it also makes him sort of ... nervous?

“How fancy is this thing?” Derek asks on Monday night. They’re on the couch, as usual, Dex is flipping through TED talks and Derek is laying down with his head in Dex’s lap, reading a book that’s turning out to be increasingly boring and badly written. Dex has one hand tangled in Derek’s hair, absentmindedly scratching his scalp. Derek’s thoughts are drifting.

“Hm?” Dex says.

“This thing on Saturday. How fancy is it? Like, what’s the dress code?”

Dex had told him a few weeks ago that they’d been invited to a function at the university, that they were both free according to their calendars, and that he’d intended to RSVP yes, unless Derek had any objections? Which Derek didn’t. Dex’s had his doctorate for a couple of years now, they’ve attended a fair amount of academic functions and events, Derek is used to them. This is their first one at Columbia, though, so he wants to make sure they follow proper etiquette, to not draw even more attention to the fact that they’re two men. It shouldn’t be an issue, but like, better safe than sorry, in this case.

“Black tie, I guess?” Dex says, frowning down at him. “Why?”

“Yeah, but is it like, strict black tie, don’t even think about wearing pink socks, or is it like, creative black tie?” Derek very much hopes it’s the latter, because Dex looks so good with the forest green tie.

“Babe, I don’t know.”

“Can you check? I just need to know if I need to, like, cut my hair.” He’s growing it out, and it’s already long enough to put in a ponytail.

Dex’s grip on his hair hardens. “Don’t you dare,” a warning in his voice. Derek smirks up at him.

“Chill. I won’t. But just--”

“Yeah, I’ll check.”

Derek is satisfied with that, and returns to his book.

*

On Friday, the night before, Dex has his D&D night, so Derek does his goodnight sweep of the apartment alone; checks that all the windows are closed and locked, all the lights are turned off. He hesitates in the doorway of the office/library/guest/glorified storage room. Dex is not a neat freak by any means, but he does keep his desk immaculate, so when there’s an envelope on it, it’s pretty hard to miss. It looks fancy.

Derek picks it up, and it’s not until his second read that he even catches it.

Dr. and Mrs. William Poindexter

It’s a mistake, Derek knows it, it’s a sloppy copy paste error because they’ve used the same template a million times, but it is also sort of rude. They’re not even married (yet), so the whole thing just feels awfully presumptuous, and Derek understands why this particular invite hasn’t been tacked to the fridge like usual. They will get married. Probably. There’s just been--Dex’s PhD, Derek’s teaching certificate, Derek trying to properly get control over his anxieties, time has just ... passed. But Derek at least lives with the assumption that they will get married. One day.

He puts the envelope back, goes to bed, and doesn’t say anything about it when Dex gets home and crawls into bed next to him.

*

Luckily, the dress code is more creative than formal, and Derek would be ashamed of how much he stares at Dex if he wasn’t so incredibly handsome.

“You have to stop,” Dex mutters under his breath the fifth time he catches Derek staring at him in as many minutes.

“Why? I’m your wife, I’m allowed,” Derek says with a smirk. Dex starts rolling his eyes but stops halfway through the motion and stares sharply at Derek.

“What?”

“You left the invitation on your desk,” Derek says and presses a light kiss to Dex’s cheek, a reassuring I’m not mad about this and won’t make a scene gesture.

“I corrected them when I RSVP’d, and they apologized,” Dex says anyway, eyeing Derek sort of warily.

“Good. Oh, can I read the email? Would Shitty be proud of it?”

“Shitty would be embarrassed about how polite I was, but Shitty isn’t in a queer relationship and doing his first six months at Columbia, so I don’t really care.”

Derek grins at him. “I love you,” he says, aware that he’s probably looking like a lovesick puppy.

“You’re ridiculous,” Dex replies, but gives him a kiss. “Come on, I want you to meet the guys I work with,” he says and takes Derek’s hand and starts guiding him through the room.

“You gonna introduce me as your wife?”

“Yes, because that would make perfect sense after talking about my boyfriend for the past two months,” Dex agrees, rolling his eyes again.

“Oh, so you talk about your boyfriend at work, but not your wife? Rude,” Derek says, just as they arrive in front of a group of people who seem to know Dex. They get a couple of raised eyebrows, and Dex glares at him.

“Derek, these are my coworkers. Guys, this is Derek, the idiot I’m dating.”

“Dating, William, really?” Derek scoffs. “We’ve been living together for ten years, and you haven’t taken me out on a date since my birthday, which was in February. That hardly classifies as dating. Hi,” he adds, addressing the group with a smile.

Dex shakes his head in exasperation, but lets it go. Derek squeezes his hand in thanks.

*

“I wouldn’t mind, you know,” Derek mumbles sleepily when they’re seated on the subway home, hours later. He’s a bit buzzed on wine and champagne, but he’s not drunk. He wants to rest his head on Dex’s shoulder but he’s too tall for that to actually be comfortable, so he settles for leaning close, probably preens a little when Dex slides an arm around his waist.

“Wouldn’t mind what?” Dex asks.

“Being your wife,” Derek says. He feels Dex go completely still against him, and when he turns to look at him, all the leftover amusement from the champagne buzz has left him and he’s staring at Derek with a Very Serious face.

“What?” Dex says, and Derek can’t tell if he’s just confused or if he’s also mad. Derek is wide awake now, at least. He opens his mouth to say something, but he can’t figure out what.

“What?” he settles on, echoing it back.

“I--Derek, are you proposing, on the subway, using the words I wouldn’t mind?”

Derek is about to protest, but then he thinks back, and realizes that he may, in fact, have been proposing. Sort of.

“No?” he tries, anyway. Dex’s only response is a single raised eyebrow. Okay. “But also kind of yes? Sorry?”

Dex sighs, puts his other arm around Derek as well and hugs him, tight. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he says.

“That’s not an answer,” Derek observes. He’s not too worried, though. The situation doesn’t feel like a No.

“You technically didn’t ask a question,” Dex says. He lets Derek go and settles back, one arm still around Derek’s waist. “And besides, if I don’t answer, we can pretend this didn’t happen, and you can get a do-over. I refuse to have C chirp me for this for the rest of our lives.”

“C has zero chirping rights when it comes to proposals,” Derek says indignantly. “He didn’t even propose, Cait found the ring in his fucking sock drawer!”

“Do you even have a ring?” Dex counters, which shuts Derek up, but that’s also partly because they’ve reached their stop and need to get off.

Neither of them says anything until they’re up on the street. It’s cold, and Derek forgot his gloves, so he puts one hand in his coat pocket and grabs Dex’s hand with the other.

“Will,” Derek says after a few seconds, which makes Dex stop. Derek is suddenly extremely nervous, even though he knows, with every logical bone in his brain (whatever), that he has nothing to worry about. “When I get a ring, and ask you for real ... are you gonna say yes?”

Dex tugs him so close that their chests are touching. With the hand not holding Derek’s, he cups his cheek and kisses him, sweetly. “Yes, Derek,” he says, softly, privately. “I’m gonna say yes.”

fin~