#there is gonna come a time in your life where you tell people the stuff you life
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no one wants him to be harry
just because something is hard for you it doesnât mean is not easy generally speaking
why donât you go get whipped or slapped or whatever it is you do and stop talking nonsense
Why are yâall so fucking obsessed with my sex life akfkakfkakf is it cause you donât have sex???
#and donât give me that âyou talk about it a lotâ cause I know I donât#and since you CLEARLY have issues with me youâd only know that if you fucking followed me or checked in on me more often#also also Iâve spoken with Louies before#yâall absolutely want him to be Harryâs level of fame#i believe I was once directly told âwhatâs so wrong with wanting him to play the same venues as Harryâ#yâall use Louis as your stand in for feeling important in 1D fandom#and solos have ALWAYS pushed YOUR expectations on him#because (again this is something I have been directly told by solos) you want to be able to tell people who you life#and get fucking validation for it#you donât want to feel âweirdâ or âjudgedâ for liking someone less mainstream#and thatâs something yâall are gonna have to learn to cope with#there is gonna come a time in your life where you tell people the stuff you life#and no one is gonna know what they are#AND GUESS WHAT#THATS OKAY#also also#words mean something#and if something is HARD for someone that generally means it is NOT easy#but I feel like that isnât something youâve gotten to in your school lessons yet
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think đ
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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How Michael Met Neil
original direct link [MP3]
(Neil, if you see this, please feel free to grab the transcript and store on your site; I had no easy way of contacting you.)
DAVID TENNANT: Tell me about @neil-gaiman then, because he's in that category [previously: âsuch a profound effect on my lifeâ] as well.
MICHAEL SHEEN: So this is what has brought us together.
DAVID: Yes.
MICHAEL: To the new love story for the 21st century.
DAVID: Exactly.
MICHAEL: So when I went to drama school, there was a guy called Gary Turner in my year. And within the first few weeks, we were doing something, having a drink or whatever. And he said to me, âDo you read comic books?â
And I said, âNo.â I mean, this is ⌠what ⌠'88? '88, '89. So it was ⌠now I know that it was a period of time that was a big change, transformation going through comic books. Rather than it being thought of as just superheroes and Batman and Superman, there was this whole new era of a generation of writers like Grant Morrison.
DAVID: The kids who'd grown up reading comic books were now making comic books
MICHAEL: Yeah, yeah, and starting to address different kinds of subjects through the comic book medium. So it wasn't about just superheroes, it was all kinds of stuff going on â really fascinating stuff. And I was totally unaware of this.
And so this guy Gary said to me, "Do you read them?" And I said, "No."Â And he went, "Right, okay, here's The Watchman [sic] by Alan Moore. Here's Swamp Thing. Here's Hellblazer. And here's Sandman.â
And Sandman was Neil Gaiman's big series that put his name on the map. And I read all those, and, just â I was blown away by all of them, but particularly the Sandman stories, because he was drawing on mythology, which was something I was really interested in, and fairy tales, folklore, and philosophy, and Shakespeare, and all kinds of stuff were being mixed up in this story. And I absolutely loved it.
So I became a big fan of Neil's, and started reading everything by him. And then fairly shortly after that, within six months to a year, Good Omens the book came out, which Neil wrote with Terry Pratchett. And so I got the book â because I was obviously a big fan of Neil's by this point â read it, loved it, then started reading Terry Pratchettâs stuff as well, because I didn't know his stuff before then â and then spent years and years and years just being a huge fan of both of them.
And then eventually when â I'd done films like the Underworld films and doing Twilight films. And I think it was one of the Twilight films, there was a lot of very snooty interviews that happened where people who considered themselves well above talking about things like Twilight were having to interview me ⌠and, weirdly, coming at it from the attitude of 'clearly this is below you as well' ⌠weirdly thinking I'm gonna go, 'Yeah, fucking Twilight.â
And I just used to go, "You know what? Some of the greatest writing of the last 50-100 years has happened in science fiction or fantasy." Philip K Dick is one of my favorite writers of all time. In fact, the production of Hamlet I did was mainly influenced by Philip K Dick. Ursula K. Le Guin and Asimov, and all these amazing people. And I talked about Neil as well. And so I went off on a bit of a rant in this interview.
Anyway, the interview came out about six months later, maybe. Knock on the door, open the door, delivery of a big box. Thatâs interesting. Open the box, there's a card at the top of the box. I open the card.
It says, From one fan to another, Neil Gaiman. And inside the box are first editions of Neil's stuff, and all kinds of interesting things by Neil. And he just sent this stuff.
DAVID: You'd never met him?
MICHAEL: Never met him. He'd read the interview, or someone had let him know about this interview where I'd sung his praises and stood up for him and the people who work within that sort of genre as being like âŚ
And he just got in touch. We met up for the first time when he came to â I was in Los Angeles at the time, and he came to LA. And he said, "I'll take you for a meal."
I said, âAll right.â
He said, "Do you want to go somewhere posh, or somewhere interesting?â
I said, "Let's go somewhere interesting."
He said, "Right, I'm going to take you to this restaurant called The Hump." And it's at Santa Monica Airport. And it's a sushi restaurant.
I was like, âRight, okay.â So I had a Mini at the time. And we get in my Mini and we drive off to Santa Monica Airport. And this restaurant was right on the tarmac, like, you could sit in the restaurant (there's nobody else there when we got there, we got there quite early) and you're watching the planes landing on Santa Monica Airport. It's extraordinary.Â
And the chef comes out and Neil says, "Just bring us whatever you want. Chef's choice."
So, I'd never really eaten sushi before. So we sit there; we had this incredible meal where they keep bringing these dishes out and they say, âThis is [blah, blah, blah]. Just use a little bit of soy sauce or whatever.â You know, âThis is eel. This is [blah].â
And then there was this one dish where they brought out and they didn't say what it was. It was like âmystery dishâ, we had it ... delicious. Anyway, a few more people started coming into the restaurant as time went on.
And we're sort of getting near the end, and I said, "Neil, I can't eat anymore. I'm gonna have to stop now. This is great, but I can't eatâ"
"Right, okay. We'll ask for the bill in a minute."
And then the door opens and some very official people come in. And it was the Feds. And the Feds came in, and we knew they were because they had jackets on that said they were part of the Federal Bureau of Whatever. And about six of them come in. Two of them go ⌠one goes behind the counter, two go into the kitchen, one goes to the back. They've all got like guns on and stuff.
And me and Neil are like, "What on Earth is going on?"
And then eventually one guy goes, "Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't ordered already, please leave. If you're still eating your meal, please finish up, pay your bill, leave."*
[* - delivered in a perfect American âserious law agentâ accent/impression]
And we were like, "Oh my God, are we poisoned? Is there some terrible thing that's happened?"Â Â
We'd finished, so we pay our bill. And then all the kitchen staff are brought out. And the head chef is there. The guy who's been bringing us this food. And he's in tears. And he says to Neil, "I'm so sorry." He apologizes to Neil. And we leave. We have no idea what happened.
DAVID: But you're assuming it's the mystery dish.
MICHAEL: Well, we're assuming that we can't be going to â we can't be â it can't be poisonous. You know what I mean? It can't be that there's terrible, terrible things.
So the next day was the Oscars, which is why Neil was in town. Because Coraline had been nominated for an Oscar. Best documentary that year was won by The Cove, which was by a team of people who had come across dolphins being killed, I think.
Turns out, what was happening at this restaurant was that they were having illegal endangered species flown in to the airport, and then being brought around the back of the restaurant into the kitchen.
We had eaten whale â endangered species whale. That was the mystery dish that they didn't say what it was.
And the team behind The Cove were behind this sting, and they took them down that night whilst we were there.
DAVID: Thatâs extraordinary.
MICHAEL: And we didn't find this out for months. So for months, me and Neil were like, "Have you worked anything out yet? Have you heard anything?"
"No, I haven't heard anything."
And then we heard that it was something to do with The Cove, and then we eventually found out that that restaurant, they were all arrested. The restaurant was shut down. And it was because of that. And we'd eaten whale that night.
DAVID: And that was your first meeting with Neil Gaiman.
MICHAEL: That was my first meeting. And also in the drive home that night from that restaurant, he said, and we were in my Mini, he said, "Have you found the secret compartment?"
I said, "What are you talking about?" It's such a Neil Gaiman thing to say.
DAVID: Isn't it?
MICHAEL: The secret compartment? Yeah. Each Mini has got a secret compartment. I said, "I had no idea." It's secret. And he pressed a little button and a thing opened up. And it was a secret compartment in my own car that Neil Gaiman showed me.
DAVID: Was there anything inside it?
MICHAEL: Yeah, there was a little man. And he jumped out and went, "Hello!" No, there was nothing in there. There was afterwards because I started putting...
DAVID: Sure. That's a very Neil Gaiman story. All of that is such a Neil Gaiman story.
MICHAEL: That's how it began. Yeah.
DAVID: And then he came to offer you the part in Good Omens.
MICHAEL: Yeah. Well, we became friends and we would whenever he was in town, we would meet up and yeah, and then eventually he started, he said, "You know, I'm working on an adaptation of Good Omens." And I can remember at one point Terry Gilliam was going to maybe make a film of it. And I remember being there with Neil and Terry when they were talking about it. And...
DAVID: Were you involved at that point?
MICHAEL: No, no, I wasn't involved. I just happened to have met up with Neil that day.
DAVID: Right.
MICHAEL: And then Terry Gilliam came along and they were chatting, that was the day they were talking about that or whatever.
And then eventually he sent me one of the scripts for an early draft of like the first episode of Good Omens. And he said â and we started talking about me being involved in it, doing it â he said, âWould you be interested?â I was like, "Yeah, of course."Â I went, "Oh my God." And he said, "Well, I'll send you the scripts when they come," and I would read them, and we'd talk about them a little bit. And so I was involved.
But it was always at that point with the idea, because he'd always said about playing Crowley in it. And so, as time went on, as I was reading the scripts, I was thinking, "I don't think I can play Crowley. I don't think I'm going to be able to do it." And I started to get a bit nervous because I thought, âI don't want to tell Neil that I don't think I can do this.â But I just felt like I don't think I can play Crowley.
DAVID: Of course you can [play Crowley?].
MICHAEL: Well, I just on a sort of, on a gut level, sometimes you have it on a gut level.
DAVID: Sure, sure.
MICHAEL: I can do this.
DAVID: Yeah.
MICHAEL: Or I can't do this. And I just thought, âYou know what, this is not the part for me. The other part is better for me, I think. I think I can do that, I don't think I could do that.â
But I was scared to tell Neil because I thought, "Well, he wants me to play Crowley" â and then it turned out he had been feeling the same way as well. And he hadn't wanted to mention it to me, but he was like, "I think Michael should really play Aziraphale."
And neither of us would bring it up. And then eventually we did. And it was one of those things where you go, "Oh, thank God you said that. I feel exactly the same way." And then I think within a fairly short space of time, he said, âI think we've got ⌠David Tennant ⌠for Crowley.â And we both got very excited about that.
And then all these extraordinary people started to join in. And then, and then off we went.
DAVID: That's the other thing about Neil, he collects people, doesn't he? So he'll just go, âOh, yeah, I've phoned up Frances McDormand, she's up for it.â Yeah. You're, what?
MICHAEL: âI emailed Jon Hamm.â
DAVID: Yeah.
MICHAEL: And yeah, and you realize how beloved he is and how beloved his work is. And I think we would both recognise that Good Omens is one of the most beloved of all of Neil's stuff.
DAVID: Yes.
MICHAEL: And had never been turned into anything.
DAVID: Yeah.
MICHAEL: And so the kind of responsibility of that, I mean, for me, for someone who has been a fan of him and a fan of the book for so long, I can empathize with all the fans out there who are like, âOh, they better not fuck this up.â
DAVID: Yes.
MICHAEL: âAnd this had better be good.â And I have that part of me. But then, of course, the other part of me is like, âBut I'm the one who might be fucking it up.â
DAVID: Yeah.
MICHAEL: So I feel that responsibility as well.
DAVID: But we have Neil on site.
MICHAEL: Yes. Well, Neil being the showrunner âŚ
DAVID: Yeah. I think it takes the curse off.
MICHAEL: ⌠I think it made a massive difference, didn't it? Yeah. You feel like you're in safe hands.
DAVID: Well, we think. Not that the world has seen it yet.
MICHAEL (grimly): No, I know.
DAVID: But it was a -- it's been a -- it's been a joy to work with you on it. I can't wait for the world to see it.
MICHAEL: Oh my God. Oh, well, I mean, it's the only, I've done a few things where there are two people, it's a bit of a double act, like Frost-Nixon and The Queen, I suppose, in some ways. But, and I've done it, Amadeus or whatever.
This is the only thing I've done where I really don't think of it as âmy characterâ or âmy performance as that characterâ. I think of it totally as us.
DAVID: Yeah.
MICHAEL: The two of us.
DAVID: Yes.
MICHAEL: Like they, what I do is defined by what you do.
DAVID: Yeah.
MICHAEL: And that was such a joy to have that experience. And it made it so much easier in a way as well, I found, because you don't feel like you're on your own in it. Like it's totally us together doing this and the two characters totally complement each other. And the experience of doing it was just a real joy.
DAVID: Yeah. Well, I hope the world is as excited to see it as we are to talk about it, frankly.
MICHAEL: You know, there's, having talked about T.S. Eliot earlier, there's another bit from The Wasteland where there's a line which goes, These fragments I have shored against my ruin.
And this is how I think about life now. There is so much in life, no matter what your circumstances, no matter what, where you've got, what you've done, how much money you got, all that. Life's hard. I mean, you can, it can take you down at any point.
You have to find this stuff. You have to like find things that will, these fragments that you hold to yourself, they become like a liferaft, and especially as time goes on, I think, as I've got older, I've realized it is a thin line between surviving this life and going under.
And the things that keep you afloat are these fragments, these things that are meaningful to you and what's meaningful to you will be not-meaningful to someone else, you know. But whatever it is that matters to you, it doesn't matter what it was you were into when you were a teenager, a kid, it doesn't matter what it is. Go and find them, and find some way to hold them close to you.Â
Make it, go and get it. Because those are the things that keep you afloat. They really are. Like doing that with him or whatever it is, these are the fragments that have shored against my ruin. Absolutely.
DAVID: That's lovely. Michael, thank you so much.
MICHAEL: Thank you.
DAVID: For talking today and for being here.
MICHAEL: Oh, it's a pleasure. Thank you.
#neil gaiman#michael sheen#david tennant does a podcast with...#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#sushi#whale#the cove#oscars 2010#coraline#mini secret compartments#howneilmetmichael#howmichaelmetneil
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outlaw!toji who initially kidnapped you for money, to rob you from your valuable belongings, eventually forms a strange attachment to you. he canât help but feel a faint twinge of guilt for robbing a pretty and delicate little thing like you.
so, he decides to let you return to your beloved family in town. though he does not let you go completely.
every now and then when toji is passing by the town you reside in - avoiding sheriffs and other people whom could possibly recognise him from the wanted posters plastered on every wall - he looks for you.
of course, you freak out the first time he sneaked up on you. however slowly yet surely, you let your guard down. the outlaw didnât harm you in any way after all.
âhow âre ya doinâ, princess?â toji would always greet you with that signature, cocky smirk of his, leaning against a nearby wall with his arms crossed over his chiseled chest or his hands on his worn gun belt.
sometimes you reply quickly, but on other occasions you indulge him and continue the conversation. itâs often at night that he visits you, so you have less of a chance to get caught together.
you donât know when or how toji found out where your familyâs house is. he simply started showing up at your balcony once in a while, just to catch up. after a couple times, you even let him in.
those nightly visits swiftly turned into something more intimate. it feels so wrong yet so right. a dangerous criminal whoâs killed hundreds, who had even kidnapped you one day, being invited into your bedâ how scandalous.
though you canât help it. his callused yet warm hands that touch your skin, his burly body that presses you into the mattress just right, his slightly chapped lips that nip at your flesh and leave marks. . . you donât regret a thing.
especially when youâre both catching your breath after an intense encounter. tojiâs muscular body, filled with countless of scars, blankets yours easily. his arms cradle you to his bare chest afterwards and all you can do is relax against him.
âi think i really hit the jackpot with ya, aye? may not have robbed ya of yer stuff that day, but i got ma prize money one way or ânother,â the rugged outlaw grins as he lights up a cigar and holds it between his lips.
you canât even tell him off for smoking in your room. tojiâs fingers massage your scalp so good to the point youâre putty in his hands. the scent of tobacco is also comforting. itâs one you associate with him, because he always smells like it. itâs always a combination of tobacco, nature, horses and gunpowder.
toji knows that he has to leave before anyone comes checking in on you, but he canât leave you when you look so adorable, clinging onto him like a lifeline.
every time he visits, itâs the same exciting story.
when toji is in a more sentimental mood, he takes you out on a ride. he settles you on the back of his horse, speeding off into the sunset, letting you enjoy the view outside of town.
the beautiful freedom that comes with the life of an outlaw. the freedom of seeing nature in all its glory. you get to experience it all.
at times, when youâre out and about, he takes his chance and teaches you how to handle a gun. toji knows youâve been spoiled rotten by your parents growing up, so you probably havenât touched a gun a day in your life. thatâs where he comes in.
âoi, watch out. yer gonna blow my fuckinâ face off, girl,â toji grunts with a faint chuckle as he notices your clumsy hand gestures while holding his revolver. itâs endearing, truly. he doesnât yet understand why it warms his heart to see you try and shoot at the targets he set up.
what the outlaw loves more than that, is when youâre both resting against a large oak tree, with his head on your lap. especially after he gets back from a long and successful heist in a far away town.
toji often lets his cowboy hat cover his face while he naps and uses your thighs as the perfect, plush pillow. the gentle breeze only adds to the perfect moment.
when you take his stetson and put it on your head instead in a innocent gesture, he lazily opens one eye and raises a brow in amusement.
âoh? that yer way of telling me yâ want a ride?â toji teases before pinching your cheek. he loves seeing that flustered expression on your face when youâre once again reminded of the cowboy hat rule he taught you the other day.
toji never misses the opportunity, however. he sits up and leans back against the tree trunk, patting his thick thighs which he spreads lightly.
âhop on fâ me then, pretty. show me how good of a cowgirl yâ are, yeah?â
well, briefly said, itâs never a dull moment with outlaw!toji.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#toji x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#toji x you#jjk x y/n#toji x y/n#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk x female reader#jjk fanfic#toji smut#toji fanfic#jjk fic#toji x female reader#female reader
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Can you write where the reader walks into James room and he's crying and its the first time shes seen him cry so she comforts him pls xx
thank you for your request! fem, 1.2k
Jamesâ house is a sanctuary to everyone heâs ever met. There are scratches on the wall by the door where Sirius has thrown it open, long deep welts of ruin under a drunken hand, two best friends laughing to the bedroom where they share a bed. Youâre used to Sirius by now, an extension of James you love and make room for, but waking up to the heir of the most noble family in London sleeping off a hangover with his face buried in your boyfriend's shoulder still surprises you. His snores never change.Â
Then thereâs Remus, the sweetheart, tracking dirt into the living room because he so often forgets heâs wearing shoes, distracted by a book or a thought he shares in half smiles knowing James will listen.Â
Youâre everywhere. In photos like the rest of them, in your coat on the hook, your clean washing on the stairs, your shoes in the bedroom cupboard. Thereâs a red smudge of your lipstick on the wall at the top of the stairs where James wiped your bottom lip and then used the wall to hang over you, kissing. He keeps meaning to paint over it, you know. He says the same thing every time you bring it up, a laughing, âIâll get to it, you thing!âÂ
Youâre used to smiles and sounds here. You arenât acquainted with this. Sniffles from the bedroom, long, stringing gulps of air and the answering sob. It makes your chest flip. James hasnât cried in front of you in a year of dating and two years of knowing him. James doesnât even get pissed off unless itâs for somebody else. Something awful mustâve happened. You rush to find out what.Â
In the bedroom, James is just sitting there falling apart. Just, sat on the bed, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking like an awful jagged up and down, like heâs hurting; the shock of it is in every inch of movement. James is beautiful in everything, skin and hands and dark, dark hair, but heâs hurting now as he drags fingers wet with tears through frizzing curls. He must have heard you coming up but he canât stop, lifting his chin, an apology twisted in his mouth that he doesnât say aloud.Â
âLovely, what happened?â you ask, sure youâre gonna fall through the floor. âWhat happened? Whatââ
You arenât giving him time to answer. You need to know.Â
âNo, itâs alrightââ
âItâs not alright,â you say, standing in front of him with stiff arms. âWhat happened, James?âÂ
âItâs okay.â He cries a little, sniffs, looking up at you with swimming eyes. âItâs alright, Iâm justâ itâs justâ well, itâs just everything, I suppose, but itâsâŚâ He looks down, his mouth twisting again in an apology you donât want to take. He shakes himself.Â
âJames, whatâs everything?âÂ
âSilly stuff.â James takes your hand. Telling, that a boy whoâs spent his entire life looking after the people he loves would attempt to comfort you with tears still hot on his cheeks.Â
You look down at his long fingers.Â
James plays piano. He learned your favourite song for you before heâd ever asked you out, and when heâd played it for you, heâd played so beautifully you felt sick for days, felt sick every time you thought of him, but in the moment heâd laughed at your teary eyes and pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. Lovely girl, heâd said, laughing, I wonât play it again if youâre gonna cry like that.
You figure he must want comfort as he gives it, wrapping your arms around him to steer him toward a soft kiss, his hair like strands of satin under your lips. âNothing that upsets you like this could ever be silly.âÂ
He pushes you away. Not without love, but pushing away regardless. He stands in the space you leave and wipes his cheeks with the backs of his hands. Itâs nearly like heâs dancing. Just the way his arms move. But then he drops them and turns away from you, your heart plummeting to your stomach.Â
âJames.âÂ
âItâs not like that. I was hoping Iâd be done before you got home. Should we go out for dinner or something?âÂ
âJamesââ
âWhat?â he asks, smiling, at odds with his sad eyes. âLove, itâs really fine, Iâm fine.â Love. You let out a long breath, chest a cold ache slowly warmed by his gaze. Thereâs care for you in every eyelash, but it still shocks you when he hugs you. âItâs okay. Sorry I scared you.âÂ
James. âFucking hell, Jamie, Iâm not scared, I want you to tell me whatâs wrong so I can fix it for you.â
He chokes on breath. âIâm fine,â he says. He doesnât believe it himself, a crack running straight through his words. âSorry,â he says, sickly, kissing the top of your head as youâd kissed his.Â
Clearly heâs not going to let you be the one domineering the situation, but thatâs okay. He can kiss your head and hold you on the edge of too tight. You slip a hand under the edge of his T-shirt to stroke his back, until your hand is numb to it, and heâs sagging against you heavily.Â
âYouâre really not fine, I can see that much.âÂ
Heâs quiet, but you can tell thereâs something he wants to say.Â
âBut thatâs okay,â you say, hand clasping his back . You pat a steady rhythm there as he sighs. âIt really is. I donât know why you think you have to be finished crying before I get home, but thatâs not true. You can cry. You can cry buckets. Please donât pretend youâre not upset because of me, Iâd feel so bad.â
Something hot and wet touches your forehead. âMâsorry.âÂ
âNothing to be sorry for.â You pull back to pat his cheek.Â
James stares at you. Tears well in usually warm eyes and get caught in the wet hedge of his lashes. You try to wipe them away before they can fall âyou donât wanna see your sweetheart crying.Â
âDonât frown,â he says softly.Â
âIâm trying not to. Here, let me,â âyou wipe his cheeks with your sleeve, voice a muttering thing as his skin pinks beneath your touchâ âjust get that there for you. Your eyes are red, Jamie, I hope you havenât been upset for too long.âÂ
âNo, uh. No, not too long.âÂ
âCan you please tell me whatâs wrong? Iâd like to know.âÂ
Jamesâ face presses to your neck in seconds. He pauses, and then he sobs. Thatâs more like it. You stand there in the bedroom until your legs are stiff, and then you only move to lay him down in bed to be your little spoon. âIt's not fine,â you say, your arm around him, the other playing in the swirl of his parting, âbut it will be. Youâre really too handsome for all these tears.â
âYou think Iâm handsome?â
He sounds sweet when heâs trying to make you laugh. You reach over him to kiss his hot cheek. Â
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter imagine#james potter fanfic#james potter fanfiction#james potter scenario#james potter oneshot#the marauders#marauders era#marauders
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keishin finally (finally) gets you into bed with himâwell, onto couch with him, in his little one-room apartment in the back of sakanoshita martâand he thinks all his prayers have finally been answered. thinks he's found some sort of cosmic apology for every misfortune he's ever suffered in how soft your lips are against his and how sweet you taste.
he knows he doesn't deserve this; that he hasn't done anything in his unremarkable life to merit how good you feel underneath his hands, or how dizzying those little noises you're making when he touches you are. but, against all odds, you're really here, you really want him, and he's determined not to fuck this up.
"keishin."
every time you say his name he feels like he's hearing it for the first time. like he's being blessed by it. it takes him a moment to process the way you've called for his attention as he suckles a little bruise against your throat, using every modicum of will he has left in him to pull away and meet your gaze.
you look so good underneath him on his ugly, ancient couch that it makes him ache. your lips glossy and swollen, your eyes heavy-lidded and yearning. you reach up and touch his cheek, and he can't tell if your hand is cool or his face is burning.
"do you have a condom?"
and all at once keishin comes crashingâviolently, disastrously, crushinglyâback to earth.
he blinks at you, wide-eyed, in the wake of your question. you seem to understand his answer even though he can't bring himself to say it.
"are there any in the shop?" you ask him, optimistic and gentle, with an encouraging smile.
keishin perks upâvisibly brightening at your moment of geniusâbut as quickly as the hope uplifts him, he's deflating again. he pinches his bottom lip between his teeth.
"we're out right now," he murmurs sheepishly, suddenly unable to meet your gaze.
he only keeps a couple of boxes of condoms behind the counter at a time, since so few people ever come in asking for them. last week takinoue had showed up half-hammered two hours after closing, and banged on the shop door until keishin grumpily answered it. his drunk friend went on to explain that he'd gone out drinking with his colleague from work and she'd invited him home with her, but he desperately needed condoms. keishin chucked the last box at his stupid face, and yusuke swore up and down their next night out drinking would be his treat before skittering off into the night again with a grin from ear to ear.
he was going to kill yusuke with his bare hands the next time he saw him.
"keishin, it's okay," you say with a light laugh at the positively crestfallen look on his face. "we don't have toâ"
"no!" keishin interrupts you before you can say the words he just cant bear to hear. not right now. not from you.
even if you promise him that this could happen again another timeâthat you don't have to go all the way tonight, that there will be other opportunitiesâhe has no way of knowing if that's true. no way of guaranteeing it.
he's got a taste for you now. he knows what you sound like. he knows how you feel.
and he refuses to let this opportunity pass him by.
keishin pulls himself upright so quickly from where he'd been hovering overtop of you on his lumpy sofa that he almost gives himself whiplash. he stumbles up to his feet, brushing his bleached hair back from his eyesâhe's not sure where or when he'd lost his hairband, but the strands are hanging freely now and falling into his gaze. he grabs his jacket from the floor where he'd hastily shucked it when the two of you stumbled through the door in the throes of passion.
"I'm just gonna run to shimada mart!" he says to you as he stuffs his arms ungracefully into the sleeves of his jacket, his words so frantic they're almost bleeding together. "it's only about 10 minutes away, if you just wait right here��"
"keishin."
"shouldn't be longer than 25 minutes! 20, even! i might even be able to get macchan to drive me back ifâ"
"keishin, wait."
your laughter makes him stop dead in his tracks, halfway to the door. he's only got one slide on his foot, the other still sock-clad, and in his haste he realizes he'd grabbed his television remote instead of his cellphone to shove into his coat pocket.
you've caught him by the sleeve of his jacket, holding the material pinched between your thumb and forefinger as you stare up at him from the sofa with the sweetest smile on your face. he's frozen as he peers down at you, his lips parted, his dick still half-hard in his jeans.
"don't go," you say to him, tugging him back towards you by your grip on his cuff. he moves easily, gravitating back into your orbit in spite of how gentle the actual pull had been.
"b-but,"âkeishin casts a forlorn glance back in the direction of his apartment doorâ"what about the condoms?"
his voice cracks a little on the question and he has genuinely never wished so ardently for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
you release his sleeve in favour of twining your fingers with his now that he's near to you again, your soft hand slipping easily into his own. that same dull ache in the pit of his core (and between his legs) throbs again as you blink up at him.
"i've been trying to tell you," you begin, a bit exasperated but not without its own fondness. you hesitate a little, looking away shyly before adding, "we don't... need one."
keishin thinks he might die.
really, genuinely die.
he wonders if maybe this is what the old man felt like when he almost keeled over from that heart attack last year, because keishin's pulse is pounding so violently in his head he feels like his vision is going a bit spotty around the edgesâlike when you stand up too fast after a night of drinking.
he's brought back to the moment as your hand squeezes his ownâa gentle, questioning gesture.
your lashes flutter as you blink up at him, your head tilting slightly to the side. you smile a little at the dumbfounded look on his face.
"...if that's okay with you?"
(keishin pays for takinoue's drinks for the next six months, but never explains why.)
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a spoonful of sugar | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem chef!reader
cheffing it up all over the calendar
MASTERLIST | TIPS
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 124,509 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: WOAH WHAT IT'S OSCAR'S HOME RACE WEEK? that mean's it's time to whack out the aussie cook book mama piastri got me for christmas and man this fish has a cool name. BARRAMUNDI is a fish very commonly used in aussie cuisine (real ones know it from masterchef australia). so here i've pan seared it with some herbs and some lemons and take it from me it SLAPS, but you know what i hope slaps more? oscar this weekend... LET'S GO BABY
[as always this recipe is on my website and will be in my 2024 f1 calendar recipe book coming out soon]
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user1: FAVES OMG PARENTS
user2: my favourite thing is where i read intently all of y/n's recipe and continue to make pot noodles
yourusername: pot noodles are good i can't even be mad
oscarpiastri: can confirm it did in fact SLAP
yourusername: oh wow piastri stamp of approval that's basically a michelin star
oscarpiastri: tbf i would eat a roll of paper towels if it was you who gave it to me
yourusername: okay.... I'LL TAKE IT
user3: can we please study these people cause why is saying you'd eat paper towels is the pinnacle of romance
user4: i NEED the recipe book STAT
landonorris: i was on board with this whole cooking thing but FISH IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE
yourusername: oh boy we got a BABY ON THE LINE
landonorris: i'm allowed to like what i like my MUM said so
yourusername: bro is an elite athlete and exclusively eats chicken nuggies
landonorris: @oscarpiastri tell your girlfriend to stop bullying me
oscarpiastri: i'm on her side buddy maybe explore the culinary world
landonorris: that's it i'm going to HR
yourusername: try it girly the mclaren HR team LOVE my food
user5: the dynamics since oscar and y/n got comfortable in the sport are my favourite things
oscarpiastri
liked by logansargeant, landonorris and 793,288 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: first time on the podium at my home race and the feeling is unreal. so thankful to have my family and love of my life around me, lets keep building on this !!
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user7: THANK THE LORD MCLAREN KEPT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER IN 2024 OSCAR FIRST WIN COMING IN FAST
yourusername: I AM TOTALLY FINE ABOUT THIS AND I AM NOT SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU AT ALL TIMES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
oscarpiastri: I LOVE YOU TOO SO MUCH AND I LOVE SHARING THIS WITH YOU AND SEEING THE WORLD WITH YOU AND REACHING OUR DREAMS TOGETHER
user8: are they good?
logansargeant: from the man currently waiting for them to go to dinner and can hear them yelling this stuff to each other... no they are not okay and i don't think they ever have been
yourusername: LOGIE BEAR I AM SORRY I CANNOT CONTAIN MY LOVE FOR OSCAR
oscarpiastri: jealous bitches gonna be bitter
logansargeant: ??? excuse me
oscarpiastri: i'm sorry i got excited... love you logan (just not as much as y/n)
user9: this comment section is once again making me want to sneak into an F1 after party :(
user10: they're just going to dinner they've not even started drinking yet đ
landonorris: i am proud of you mate - why is y/n dancing around in the kitchen in an apron that says "this chef FUCKS"
yourusername: fashion. (it says oscar piastri in small print right under that)
landonorris: i didn't need to know that
oscarpiastri: let her dance it makes the food taste even better
landonorris: there's definitely no fish right?
yourusername: no fish by order of the fussy child
landonorris: bullying online and in person @maxverstappen1 @charles_leclerc @logansargeant STEP IN
maxverstappen1: eh i'm good i'm looking forward to dinner
charles_leclerc: you're on your own with this one lando
logansargeant: i've learnt not to cross y/n
user11: the piastris invited lando, logan and the rest of the podium? i am soft
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 162,994 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: a big post podium celebration dinner at the piastri house to celebrate oscar's home podium. first off, super duper proud. second, since it was a strictly no fish evening, i decided to go for classic aussie meat pies and grilled kangaroo LOL but there was only clean plates at the end so i'll defo consider adding it to the recipe book
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user12: i am getting a sugar rush this is so sweet
logansargeant: thank you for having me, a solid 9/10 - one point docked because kangaroos are cute
yourusername: wait until you run into one on a cold, wet evening
oscarpiastri: they are actually very scary and have a stealing problem
yourusername: tbf i think we all have a stealing problem
oscarpiastri: you definietly do ... cause you stole my heart
logansargeant: EW NOT ON MY COMMENT THREAD
user13: i'm so lonely
maxverstappen1: i definitely did not think i was going to eat kangaroo this week but here we are
yourusername: did you like it?
maxverstappen1: i was shocked at how much i did
oscarpiastri: babe get that on the review cover of the recipe book this guy got three championships that has to mean something
yourusername: good idea i'm on it
maxverstappen1: ???
landonorris: you fed me kanga and roo from winnie the pooh? Y/N YOU FED ME KANGA AND ROO FROM WINNIE THE POOH?
yourusername: you eat chicken all the time and you don't feel sorry for chicken little
oscarpiastri: she ate you up there PUN INTENDED
landonorris: i've learnt my lesson i'm giving up here
charles_leclerc: i for one had a blast and will be asking for y/n to cater my birthday party
oscarpiastri: FOR A PRICE
charles_leclerc: you her guard dog or something?
oscarpiastri: duh? have you seen her?
yourusername: i would love to (idk monagasque cuisine though so give me notice)
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 152,339 others
tagged: oscarpiastri, logansargeant
yourusername: IMOLA, IMOLA MY HEART LIVES IN ITALIA AND MY STOMACH LIVES WITH ITALIAN FOOD. for real. the track is cute and whatnot but the real star is the pasta, the pizza, the gelato but most importantly the PASTA. here is two dishes that'll feature in the imola chapter: a burrata dish and a ragu !! oscar (and lando) certified so you know it's good, oscar even helped so it's defo beginner friendly!!
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user17: is it a collective f1 driver experience to be ass at cooking
danielricciardo: yes
maxverstappen1: yes
oscarpiastri: yes
landonorris: yes
charles_leclerc: YES
oscarpiastri: if i'm slow this weekend it's because i couldn't stop eating the ragu sorry mclaren
yourusername: i made sure no gelato until sunday so please don't take me out back and shoot me over giving him pasta
mclarenf1: bring some pasta for social media admin and no one has to know
yourusername: deal
landonorris: this is a public instagram comment section
charles_leclerc: why is mine always so darn crunchy
yourusername: inpatient, common amongst you drivers. oscar was once so impatient when boiling an egg he got it out and it was just watery egg
oscarpiastri: you said you wouldn't tell anyone :(
yourusername: no babe i'm proud !!! you've come so far
oscarpiastri: it's true i made my own omelette the other day :)
yourusername: and it was yummy
oscarpiastri: and it was yummy :)
user18: the positive affirmations in this relationship really keep me going
yourusername: he IS the MOST beautiful racer in all of the lands
oscarpiastri: she IS the PRETTIEST chef in all of the kitchens
oscarpiastri
liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 775,431 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: not the race we wanted in spain, but we're still in good spirits and in the conversation at the top of the standings! also helps that when you get taken out of the race your girlfriend shovels the BEST paella ever into your mouth until you finally smile
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user19: bro got a girlfriend and personal chef all in one
yourusername: food is my love language and when babe gets twatted into the barriers by SOMEONE i will personally feed him some of his favourite food
user20: she's holding back
yourusername: PR said i couldn't say anything...
oscarpiastri: i love youuuuuuuuu and i love your paella i think it's laced with crack
logansargeant: @fia GET HIS ASS
yourusername: LOGIE BEAR?
logansargeant: i'm sorry, we're pretty desperate for the p7 here at williams
yourusername: i respect that
oscarpiastri: Y/N????
yourusername: MORE PAELLA
carlossainz55: big respect for the paella, definitely looks authentic
yourusername: OBVIOUSLY IT'S AUTHENTIC DO YOU THINK MY QUALIFICATIONS ARE A JOKE
yourusername: lol sorry thank you actually SPANISH F1 DRIVER APPROVED PAELLA
oscarpiastri: @fernandoalo_oficial can we get another good review please and thank you
fernandoalo_oficial: looks good, need a taste to be sure
yourusername: it's coming your way (please return the tupperware tho please)
mclarenf1: you'll come back stronger oscar đŞ
oscarpiastri: fuelled by love and paella
yourusername: fuelled by VENOM AND THE WILL TO WIN AND CRUSH THE COMPETITION
oscarpiastri: and that đŤś
note: here's a short and sweet one that MAY return to finish out this fictional season ... i also just love this kind of set up for an imagine. it's a lil short i know but the CHRISTMAS CRAFTS ARE COMING IN FAST AND THE CROSS STITCH CHRISTMAS CARDS ARE SLAYING THE HOUSE DOWN
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#oscar piastri instagram au#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri
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Touch Tank
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 5.5k (look it wasn't supposed to be this many- my characters got away from me)
Warnings: sheesh, oral (f receiving), fingering, handjob, creampie, Loki is very soft and worshiping, unprotected sex (be safe) I think that's it idk this is kind of mild compared to some of my other stuff- could be waaaay more raunchy lmao
Genre: fluff, smut
Summary: Loki is not the easiest person to get close to, but you're not deterred by his standoffishness. He deserves a friend in the tower and you're determined to be at least that much.
He's so pretty when he goes down on me // he tells me he's gentle when he wants to be // I think he wants to be gentle with me ~ Touch Tank by Quinnie
***
You rush down the hall, excited for your night out with a group of your non-Avenger friends. You make a point to see your other friends as often as you can to balance those relationships with your ones on the team. After all, living with the Avengers means that you see them all the time, but being an Avenger is not all there is to you. Walking into the main room you're surprised to see Loki sitting at the kitchen counter, just kind of staring at nothing.
"You alright Lo?" You ask him carefully. Your question seems to pull him out of whatever trance he was in.
"I'm fine." He says, though his face isn't convincing.
"Okay? Happy staring- I'm going out so- I'll see you later then." You frown heading over to the main elevator. Loki's not exactly close to anyone in the tower except Thor, and even that he'd argue is false but you always make a point to include him even when the others ignore him a bit. As you ride down to street level you can't help but wonder what has him so pensive up there by himself. On the street, waiting for a taxi to flag down, you can't get yourself to shake Loki from your mind so- reluctantly you dial one of your friends.
"Y/n!" Your friend's excited voice practically yells down the line.
"Hey! Listen, you know I hate to do this, and I wouldn't if it wasn't important, but I'm not going to be able to make it out tonight, something's come up. I'm okay, I just can't come. You guys have fun! I want loads of pictures and a play-by-play once one of you returns to life tomorrow yeah?"
"Aw we're gonna miss you!"
"Ditto! But I'll see you guys soon! Tell the girls I said hi!" You say.
"Of course! Take care, and call if you need anything!"
"Same to you!" You blow a kiss as you end the call and sigh. "Dammit Loki." You roll your eyes as you turn around and go back inside. You ride the elevator back up to the main floor where Loki is still sitting at the counter. You knock on the counter in front of him and grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Aren't you meant to be going somewhere?" Loki's eyes narrow at you.
"I was, but I called my friend on my way down and she's actually not feeling too hot so we decided it'd be best to reschedule once she's feeling better." You shrug. You know better than to tell him you cancelled your plans because you saw him moping at the counter. He'd flip at the first possible hint of you pitying him, even though that isn't what this is.
"I see."
"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" You offer.
"What?" He scoffs.
"Well- I was supposed to be spending time interacting with people tonight and that fell through but I'd feel kinda bummed if I spent the whole evening alone now after all the mental prep to be social so if you can be so terribly bothered to hang out for a bit I'd- value that." You say. Loki looks you over as he considers your words and then he sighs.
"I suppose I could spare a few hours, but only because I can't stand watching you mope around the tower the way you do whenever you're disappointed, it's pathetic. But this favor is a huge inconvenience to me I just want you to know that." He says and you have to fight the urge to smile. You know the show of bravado is for his own sake more than anything, and you're willing to let him have it, but it's funny to think of how much rationalizing he's doing to convince himself it's alright to spend time with you.
"Your sacrifice is both duly noted and greatly appreciated. I can offer you compensation in the form of a meal or freshly baked cookies." You say. Loki's eyes light up very briefly at the offer of cookies, he'll never admit it out loud but he loves your baking, he always eats almost half a tray when you make them.
"You know Midgardian food has very little appeal to me, but I suppose a batch of cookies will do." He says with feigned disinterest.
"Do you want them now or at a later date?"
"I have no interest in dragging this out, so now would be better."
"Alright, give me five minutes to change, I'll make you some cookies and we can throw on a movie." You smile at him. You change out of your dress and into a hoodie and shorts. Twenty minutes later you're sat with a tray of cookies and a few other small bites with some random sitcom on the TV.
"I don't understand the point of this. Is there even a plotline?" Loki scoffs.
"Yes but only a little one."
"A little one?"
"So there are a number of shows that you can throw on and watch out of order with little consequence. Like if you do watch every episode in order there is a throughline of like character development and life changes but if you jump into, let's say, season 3 episode 2, you'll just see some funny little antics that are mostly inconsequential and chances are will not come up again until maybe the finale where they recount all their little goofs over the years." You explain.
"Why?"
"Mindless entertainment? It's nice to have something to watch that you don't have to be aware of watching." You shrug. "Lots of shows have complex storylines and characters that need to be paid attention to in order to comprehend what you're watching. Sometimes you don't want to do all of that." You shrug.
"If you don't want to think about what you're watching, why watch anything?" He frowns.
"Pass the time, fill the silence, any number of things. Like we have one on but we're talking now so we're not really paying it any attention, but because it's a sitcom we're not missing anything vital because there's nothing vital to miss. And when this conversation lulls to a stop we'll just tune back in and pick up wherever it's at."
"Your Midgardian habits are very strange." Loki hums.
"What do you do when you're bored and want to be entertained without much effort?" You ask him.
"That specific phenomenon I'm not quite familiar with. If I'm bored, I read, practice spells, on Asgard there wasn't much time for boredom." He shrugs.
"Well, things are different on Midgard. And seeing as you hate everyone and everything about this place you may find yourself well acquainted with that specific phenomenon sooner than you might think." You say.
You gotta say you're pretty proud of your ability to interact positively with Loki. When he first started living here you never would've guessed you'd be watching movies and having silly conversations like this. He's always been rather closed off from the team but perhaps that's something you can actually work around.
*~*~*
"Loki!" You call when you catch him in the hall.
"What?" He rolls his eyes.
"Are you busy?" You ask.
"Why?" His eyes narrow suspiciously.
"Well I was meant to go to the aquarium with Thor today-"
"Thor is on Asgard." Loki says.
"Yes exactly." You nod. You weren't meant to do anything with Thor today, but it seems the key to the trickster god is minor deceptions.
"Did he forget you were going to this 'aquarium' today?"
"It would appear so. Which- I'm not mad about really but these tickets did cost money and I can't exchange them for another date so I was hoping you'd be able to replace him that way the ticket doesn't go to waste." You explain to him.
"You don't have anyone else you could ask?" He huffs.
"Not on such short notice." You shake your head.
"How short is short notice?"
"We need to be there in forty minutes."
"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Loki scoffs.
"If you come with me, when we get back I'll bake you a batch of cookies." You offer. It seems to be the easiest way to get him to do things. You watch Loki contemplate for a moment before he caves to his inner discussion although you're not sure there was much of a debate once you offered baked goods.
"Very well, I'll go so you don't waste your money, but you can't keep bringing your nonsense to me in exchange for cookies." He says.
"Of course not!" You smile knowing damn well you will be doing it again if you see fit. Loki will never admit to enjoying your company or wanting you to make him cookies, but considering he always accepts your offers and never truly complains when you're together, you know the irritation is only a front. "We'll leave in 15 minutes 'kay?"
"Very well." He says. You head back to your room to get yourself together and 15 minutes later you meet Loki by the kitchen.
"Ready Lo?" You ask.
"Yes let's get on with it." He says. You loop your arm through his as you leave the tower and you're surprised he doesn't protest the contact, but you won't bring it up. At the aquarium, you excitedly talk about all your favorite exhibits as you walk from section to section. "So what was the plan exactly?" Loki asks.
"What?"
"With Thor, why were you bringing him here in the first place?"
"Oh! Well because there's a lot he still wants to learn about Earth so I've been trying to take him places where he can learn a number of things at the same time." You shrug.
"And how is that going?"
"We've done the zoo and a couple of museums already so I'd say not bad. Oh, we're by the jellyfish, you should see the touch tank!" You say.
"The what now?" Loki frowns. You grab his hand and lead him to the shallow tank of water off to one side.
"This is a touch tank. These are jellyfish, they're like 95% water and don't have brains, some of them are dangerous, but these ones are pretty harmless and you can touch them! Only on the tops of their heads though. Like this." You lift his hand up and push down all but two of his fingers and then slowly, you guide his hand into the water. "You have to be gentle." You tell him softly as you let his fingers touch the top of a moon jelly in the pool. You turn to Loki with a small smile only to find him already looking at you very intensely.
"I'm quite gentle when I want to be." He says quietly. You step back a bit and clear your throat, dipping your own fingers in to touch a jellyfish for yourself.
"Well I hope you want to be gentle with the moon jellies. This is one of my favorite things here." You tell him.
"So anyone can just walk up and pet the jellyfish?"Â
"Yeah! Isn't it cool?"
"Sure." He nods.
"Wait till you see some of the other Jellyfish they've got here! They're insane!" You take his hand again and walk further into the jellyfish exhibit.
"They have more open tanks of creatures?"
"Oh- no all the other Jellyfish are in closed tanks." You giggle.
"Just as well, you said some are dangerous, no?"
"Well, yes, but aren't they just so beautiful?" You say looking at one of the tanks.
"Breathtaking." Loki says before he can help himself. He clears his throat, lucky you're so captivated with the floating water creatures that you don't even notice his eyes on you as opposed to the exhibits.
"Thank you for coming with me." You tell him.
"You bribed me."
"True- but you still could have said no. Especially since you're not even a fan of our, how do you say it? 'Mediocre Midgardian food'."
"Yes well, you pout when you're disappointed and it's incredibly displeasing to see. The whole tower suffers your moods. And while Midgardian food is mediocre yours is- the least. Plus I can rub this in Thor's face."
"I see you really weighed those pros and cons." You chuckle.
"I must. If I'm to disrupt my entire afternoon on such short notice." He shrugs. You roll your eyes and pull him through to the next exhibit but the smile on your face can't be hidden.
~*~*~
You hum to yourself as you enter the tower library.
"Good morning Loki." You say immediately spotting him on one of the lounge chairs. He's always in here, it's like his sanctuary and over the last few weeks you've found it easy to interact with him.
"It's 3pm y/n."
"It's morning somewhere Lo, time is arbitrary, don't be a grump." You shrug.
"What are you doing here anyway?" He rolls his eyes.
"Utilizing the insane collection of books we have considering there's only like 3 people living here that would ever pick up a book for from here."
"You've been coming here a lot lately."
"Why should you be the only one taking advantage of this big otherwise undisturbed room?"
"The best part of this room is that none of you come here."
"If you want to not run the risk of having to interact with anyone who lives here to might I suggest your room which has a lock on it." You smile brightly.
"Very funny." Loki scoffs.
"I thought so too!" You snap back. Loki gives you a dry look.
"Must you be so-"
"Charming? Witty? Adorable?"
"Not quite the adjectives I would've chosen." He says.
"Well next time finish your sentence." You wink at him.
"Are you trying to get under my skin?"
"Of course not! But it's pretty easy."
"Why must you bother me?" His eyes narrow.
"Maybe because you like talking to me more than you want to admit."
"And why would you think that?"
"Because you always do."
"Do what?"
"I'm sure you can figure that out." You say turning to leave the library.
"Do what y/n!?" He calls after you. "You didn't even get a book!" He shouts as the library doors close behind you. Loki frowns to himself for a moment and then decides to contact the only person he'd ever go to for advice on any subject. A looking glass spell slowly brings Frigga to life above his palm.
"Mother." He gets her attention.
"Loki?" Frigga picks up her looking glass with a smile. "Hello my darling boy. So lovely to hear from you. Thor tells me you're well."
"In the physical sense, yes." Loki nods.
"What troubles you my dear son?"
"I think Midgardian women might be more confusing than those on Asgard." Loki says.
"A woman? Do you feel for her?"
"Don't be ridiculous mother." Loki's words come out as a breathless chuckle.
"It is not ridiculous. She plagues your mind. Why, if you do not feel for her?"
"Truthfully I'm not sure." He frowns.
"Have you considered that you feel for her?"
"How would I know?"
"I believe the fact that you are asking may perhaps be a strong indicator already. This girl, do you see her often?"
"She lives here so yes." He nods.
"I mean intentionally darling." Frigga smiles.
"What?"
"Walking past her in the hallways is not quite what I'm referring to."
"Oh- well she's the least insufferable person here so- sometimes, yes. Though it's usually her bribing me to do things when her other plans fall through."
"What do you mean?"
"Well she invited me to this water creature house they call an aquarium a couple of weeks ago because Thor forgot he was meant to go with her."
"Are you sure Thor was meant to go with her?" She asks.
"I don't follow." Loki shakes his head.
"I wonder if this girl is playing tricks on my trickster." Frigga smiles knowingly.
"Do you overestimate her or underestimate me to believe I could be outsmarted by a mortal?"
"It is not a blow Loki, be calm my son. She plagues your mind when she is not there, she has made her way to a spot many people never have the pleasure of knowing within you. I believe she has stolen your heart and even you do not know it yet."
"What makes you think that?"
"In all your years Loki you have never once asked me about a girl. And this one seems to have you quite... wrapped."
"I resent that notion." He scoffs.
"What made you contact me?"
"Well she was-" Loki stops himself, his mother has already decided Loki is a goner, perhaps he shouldn't feed her any more information.
"She was with you Loki?"
"I spend a lot of time in the library. She came by and we had a short conversation that's all."
"What did she say?" Frigga asks.
"She thinks I like her more than I do. Or rather more than I will admit. I asked her why and she refused to answer."
"Well- what would lead her to believe that?"
"I have no idea." Loki scoffs.
"How is your relationship with her different than with the others?"
"I don't speak to the others. I only speak to her and Thor."
"Tell me about her."
"She is- happy, but not like Thor- his happiness is loud and aggressive she is- a calmer happiness. She seems to be crucial to the peace in this madhouse. Not for me, for everyone. She's also frustratingly smart, she has a comeback for everything and- it's nice to feel as though someone on this dreadful planet can match me- even if I find it vexing at times. Also she bakes- I don't quite enjoy Midgardian food but her treats are quite good though I refuse to tell her that-"
"I'm sure she knows." Frigga says with a soft smile.
"Why are you smiling like that."
"If you could see your face when you speak of this girl you would know like I know that your heart is no longer yours."
"My heart is very much still-"
"No darling. You may not realize but your mind has already given your heart to her. Follow your heart to her. Allow yourself to go there. It will do you good and you deserve it."
"Mother I cannot." He shakes his head.
"You can, and I suggest you do soon. If you do not tell her she has your heart you risk her unknowingly breaking it. Though I sense she is more aware than you may think. Certainly she's more aware than you are."
"You keep saying that-"
"There was no day planned with Thor. I would bet money she wanted to go with you, but you are a tricky thing. To catch fox you must think like one."
"What do I do mother? If you are right and this girl does have me, what do I do?" Loki asks.
"Be kind, be honest, be true. Don't wait too long." Frigga warns.
"Don't wait too long?" He frowns.
"Yes child, that woman will not wait forever for you to wake up."
"What if she is not waiting?"
"You misunderstand. I'm not saying she is waiting on you to come to your senses what I'm saying is that affections change one day she may not enjoy your time as she does now, someone serious may woo her and you miss your chance entirely, stars forbid it but something could happen to her or you. Do not get in your own way Loki, you have a tendency to do that."
"I do not get in my own way."
"Loki." Frigga says, leveling her son with an unimpressed look.
"I will consider your advice mother thank you." Loki cedes.
"Good. I will expect an update soon so be prepared for me to check in."
"Of course mother. Take care."
"You too my son." Frigga sets her looking glass down and Loki disconnects his end of the spell with a sigh. If Frigga is correct, Loki has much to consider, and rather quickly based on her warnings.
*~*~*
When the door to the library opens you don't bother looking up. The book you're reading is far too interesting to stop mid-page.
"What are you doing?" Loki jumps when he walks passed you. You look up momentarily, debating how badly you want to make a stupid joke.
"I'm practicing my backhand spring." You say flatly.
"You're sitting on the couch?"
"I'm also holding a book and yet you asked what I'm doing. I don't know what answer you expected honestly." You shrug.
"I just meant you're not usually sitting around in here."
"Is reading in the library that odd to you?" You chuckle.
"Well- no. I was just expecting the library to be empty." He says.
"Would you like me to leave?"
"Why would you offer to leave? You were here first."
"Yeah but I can read anywhere. Your hermit tendencies limit your spaces far more than mine."
"I am not a hermit." Loki rolls his eyes.
"Of course not." You hum.
"I'm not. I just have no desire to waste my time having unintelligent conversations with the uncultured morons that live here."
"Well don't let me bother you then."
"Not you, the others. And you can obviously stay."
"Why thank you for deeming me worthy enough to stay in your presence." You quip dramatically.
"It's not as if you care what I deem anyhow."
"True, that was sarcasm. Happy reading." You turn your attention back to your book and though Loki would like the conversation to continue he can't think of anything to say to justify pulling your focus from the book you're so clearly captivated by. You're in the library with your book for a few more hours and during that time Loki cannot help the way his eyes wander to you every so often, he doesn't even realize it's happening at first but once he does his mother's words that have been in his head for the past 2 weeks ring even louder.
~*~*~
"Y/n!" Wanda practically sings as she walks, no from the sound of it she's skipping, over to you at the kitchen island.
"Yes Wanda my dear?" You chuckle, setting your sandwich back on its plate.
"You know our coffee shop?"
"Around the block?"
"Yep!" She nods.
"What of it?"
"Well I heard through the grapevine that someone who works there has a crush on you."
"You heard- through the grapevine?" You quirk up an eyebrow at her.
"Cassie told me."
"How did you end up in that conversation?" You chuckle.
"Not the point, we should go down there!" She suggests excitedly.
"I'm eating a sandwich-"
"Not right now, tomorrow morning."
"You wanna tell me- who this mystery crush is? Because I'm not going anywhere if you don't tell me." You say biting your sandwich.
"It's Elliot."
"Oh he's cute-"
"Wanda." Vision calls as the main elevator arrives.
"Soooo we'll game plan when I get back?" She asks walking backwards.
"Fine." You shake your head and chuckle as she disappears in the elevator with Vision. You take a bite of your sandwich, presumably alone again, only to hear a throat clearing from behind you. You look over your shoulder to find Loki the source of the sound.
"Oh hi Loki." You say covering your mouth.
"Hello." He mutters.
"What brings you out of hiding today?"
"I'm not a hibernating bear you know."
"Of course not." You hum. Loki opens the fridge to grab something to drink, although it's mostly just so he can convince himself to bite the bullet and confess to you before this 'Elliot' from the coffee shop has an opportunity to turn your head like his mother warned him of.
"Do you have a moment? I know you're- eating but I'd like to talk- about something." He says awkwardly.
"Sure. I can use multiple senses at once. What's up?" You ask taking another bite of your sandwich. Loki opens his mouth a couple of times before he frowns. "Is something wrong Loki?"
"I don't know." He says, brows furrowed as he looks at the floor.
"You don't know if something's wrong? Are you dizzy? Dehydrated? Feverish? Do you need to sit down?" You sit up, concerned.
"No, I don't."
"You sure? You look kind of- constipated. I think you should sit down."
"I don't want to y/n." He grits out.
"Okay, calm down no need to get angry with me for caring."
"You said I look constipated!"
"Well you do! But only a little bit!"
"This is not going at all how I planned it?"
"What are you on about Loki?" You frown.
"Nothing it was just way easier to do this in my head."
"Easier to do what?"
"Never mind. Enjoy your lunch." Loki pivots and you almost knock over your barstool trying to stop him from leaving the kitchen.
"Not so fast god of mischief tell me what it is you're so panicked about."
"It's nothing y/n." He rolls his eyes.
"Nonsense. If it were nothing you wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it in the first place." You tell him.
"Yes, I over reacted, which is what I just realized and why I'm no longer interested in having this conversation." He says completely avoiding your gaze.
"Don't be a coward Loki." You snap.
"I beg your pardon?" His eyes widen.
"Don't be a coward. I've never known you to shy away from sharing your thoughts even when nobody asked don't tell me suddenly you're incapable of speaking your mind."
"I am far from incapable." He says.
"So spill it." You push.
"And if I don't?"
"Then you're not who I thought you were."
"Over a personal thought?" His eyebrow raises.
"It's the principle. What have you got to lose that makes you so fearful of your own voice?"
"Something I didn't even realize was important to me until recently." He says quietly.
"What's that?" You ask. Loki's eyes scan your face for a long moment, and if not for how close you are you'd swear he's holding his breath for how shallow it is.
"You." He whispers.
"I'm not going anywhere." You shake your head.
"I'm afraid you may take that back if you hear that which I refuse to say." He says.
"Is the reward worth the risk?" You ask.
"If I'm lucky."
"I'm disappointed that you see me as someone so easily run off Loki."
"That's not what this is." He shakes his head.
"No? It sounds like it."
"Do you see me as somebody that could be loved?"
"Of course I do. Thor loves you unconditionally. Your mother too from what I've heard."
"Do you see me as somebody that could be loved, by you?" This question is far more hesitant.
"Is that what you want?"
"In time, yes." He nods and a stray giggle escapes your lips.
"That's what you thought would drive me away?!" You shake your head. "Maybe you haven't noticed but I put quite a bit of effort into creating time to spend with you."
"Oh come on it's mostly coincidence, your friends canceling or Thor forgetting you had plans."
"You silly trickster. I chose to spend that time with you." You say.
"To be clear- does that mean you're as taken with me as I am with you?" Loki asks.
"You're taken with me?!" You blink at him in shock.
"Yes was I not clear about-"
"I'm joking Loki I just wanted to hear you say it directly." You smile.
"You vex me." He breathes out.
"And yet you like me anyway. Even more than I expected."
"Don't boast."
"How can I not?" You ask.
"I can think of a few ways to stop you."
"You can try Loki but I'm not so easily swayed." You taunt. Loki's hand comes up to your cheek and he kisses you. His lips are soft and he kisses you as if he's got all the time in the world. When Loki pulls away your eyes flutter open with surprise.
"How's that for sway?" He smirks.
"I'll admit that wasn't a terrible start." You breathe.
"Oh yeah?" Loki lifts you into his arms suddenly and you squeal in surprise as he carries you to his room. He lays you gently on his bed and kisses you again. "Not a terrible start is not enough." He hums trailing to your neck, peppering your throat with kisses and light nibbles. Loki pulls your shirt over your head. "Stars above you're beautiful." He mutters trailing his fingers delicately across your newly exposed skin.
"I'm not a flower you know." You giggle, the soft touches making you feel ticklish.
"What do you mean?" He frowns.
"Nothing bad. You're just being much more gentle than I'd have expected." You tell him caressing his face. He pauses for a moment as you trace his features.
"Do you remember what I said at the aquarium?"
"About the hammerhead shark reminding you of-"
"No about being gentle you silly girl." He says with a disbelieving chuckle.
"Oh! Yes that you can be when you want to be."
"Precisely."
"I didn't realize it applied elsewhere."
"Do you not like gentle?"
"Gentle is good." You shake your head. "Just unexpected." You smile. Loki returns your smile and leans down to press kisses down your abdomen. He pulls your shorts and panties off together, kissing your calf ones you're freed from the fabric. Loki's eyes are on you as his lips glide up your leg, opened mouthed kisses until he reaches your thigh where he bites at the skin, just enough for you to feel it. With one last kiss to your hip, Loki buries his face in your heat. You gasp at the first feel of his tongue against your center. His movements are unhurried as he watches your reactions to his mouth. When he finds the rhythm that you react the strongest to he sticks to it, enjoying the whimpers and moans he pulls from you and the way your body grinds against him.
"Oh god." You pant, one hand tangling in his hair. When you feel two of his fingers slowly glide into your entrance and curl upwards your eyes shoot open with a whine that makes Loki hum against you. You glance down at him, surprised to see his green eyes peering up at you with something akin to adoration shining in them and despite the pleasure building in your belly all you can think about for a brief moment is how... pretty he looks. Of course, that train of thought is lost when Loki wraps his lips around your clit, focusing his attention on the sensitive bundle of nerves. Between his tongue and his fingers you don't have a chance of staving off the orgasm that washes over you soon after. Loki works you through it, only pulling away when your breathing starts to steady.
"You are a vision in the heat of release you know." He says a hand on your chin to guide your attention.
"No, I did not know that." You smile reaching up to undress Loki. You pull his shirt over his head, littering his chest with kisses as you undo his pants but don't pull them down. You slip your hand into the waistband of his underwear stroking his hard hot dick.
"F-fucking hell you might be the death of me." Loki breathes out shuddering beneath your touch.
"I sure hope not. I quite like you alive you know." You joke with a giggle. Loki grabs your wrist and shakily pulls your hand from him.
"Right, if this goes on I'll embarrass myself." He says with a slight chuckle shifting to pull his pants down enough to free himself. He lines himself with your entrance and slowly works himself passed your walls with short rolling thrusts, deeper each time.
"That's nothing to be embarrassed about you know Loki." You tell him, admittedly a bit winded as he fills you.
"Maybe not, but I'll admit it's not ideal for our first time together." He groans as he bottoms out.
"Don't get caught up in expectations Loki." You tell him.
"Only my own darling." He says. Loki holds still for a few moments, allowing you to adjust to his size, only moving when you begin to grind against him.
"Move, Loki, please." You groan. Loki lets out a breath as he starts a steady rhythm. He's immediately a string of groans and curses in your ear as he fucks you, his sounds mingling with yours beautifully.
"Gods you feel even better than I could've imagined." He pants out between thrusts.
"Don't stop baby. God you feel so good." You moan, grinding up against his hips to meet his movements. Loki reaches between your bodies and his fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles against the bud that turn your quiet moans to loud whines.
"Come on darling, I want to feel you cum on my dick. Please y/n- let go for me." Loki coaxes, kissing at your throat again and it doesn't take long for your body to tense with the feeling of another orgasm. Loki groans deeply as your walls tighten around him from your release.
"Did you like that Loki? Feeling my pussy clench from cumming for you? You're close aren't you? Come on baby, cum for me."
Loki's thrusts speed up a bit, then falter, and stall altogether moments later as you feel the heat of his release inside you. Loki kisses your shoulder gently as he comes down from his orgasm, your fingers stroking his hair a comfort he wouldn't have thought he'd enjoy.
"You know- I know you were trying to get me to stop boasting but if boasting always ends with us like this I'm inclined to do it more often." You say after a few moments of silence and Loki chuckles against your neck.
"Boasting is not a prerequisite my darling." He says sitting up. Loki conjures a damp cloth and gently dabs first your face, then your neck, and carefully between your legs before helping you into his shirt.
"Well what is?" You ask.
"There isn't one you tricky girl." He chuckles pulling you into his chest.
"How am I the tricky one here?"
"You caught the fox, I think that's worth some tricky points."
"What fox? Are you the fox?"
"Mhm." He nods.
"Well- then that's by far the best thing I've ever caught." You smile up at him.
"The fox isn't complaining either." He hums and you cuddle closer to him. This hadn't exactly been your original gameplan with Loki but this is way better than any outcome you could've expected.
***
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uranus through the houses + the future <3
I saw this video the other day of this girl (colette bernard) who became a millionaire selling claw clips designed to look like teeth (her audience was dentists) but then she expanded when they were a hit so she has like cute claw clips designs for a dozen of professions. BUT all i remember thinking that stuff like this is so pluto in aquarius coded and weâre going to keep seeing people become successful more and more through their specific interests and hobbies.
she was truly self made and her passion for art changed her ENTIRE life (even though people told her it was a dumb idea). Pluto is gonna be in Aquarius for a long ass time and we know the significance it has on social changes, the collective, the government, community etc etc. This is a time for innovation and transformation, and with Uranusâs energy on your side, you can truly step into a future where you lead the charge in creating something new and lasting âĄď¸
the point is your weirdness, your out of the box ideas, the shit you think is straight up weird or maybe mee maw and pee paw call âuselessâ IS GONNA COME IN FUCKING HANDY!!! people are changing their entire lives everyday online and/or by finding their niche. so whatever âweirdâ idea or hobby you have, keep investing in it !! im not saying bc it will bring u money instantly (although thats always a plus) but bc it will bring you OPPORTUNITIES.
we all have our own claw clip tooth idea and we can look at uranus to show us the forward thinking/ innovative energy that can help us during pluto in Aquarius :) đđŚâ¨â¨đŞŠâ¨â¨đđ
uranus in the 1st house: moving forward by embracing your quirks and letting the world see the real you. dont ever ever ever try to dull yourself down. the right people will find you. dont shy away from shaking things up with how you present yourself or how you lead others. the visionary is YOU and during pluto in aqua you can inspire others to embrace their authenticity the way you do. in a way YOU are the âunique ideaâ so take full ownership. Dont be afraid to experiment with your style and image, especially in the moments where you are feeling the urge to try something different! Step into leadership roles that call to you! Volunteer for projects that require someone open-minded or that align with innovative (like new companies, organizations or small owned businesses that are producing/ delivering new kinds of products or services).
uranus in the 2nd house: think of unique ways to invest your money (ik theres a lot of debate with crypto) but anything thats outside the box could be a worthy venture. think about you can use tech to help you streamline your finances or organize your budget! just be open to trying new financial systems. this placement gives me the energy of investing something that others might see as SUPER random or specific but then it takes off years later. this is not me telling u to put ur savings in electric scooter stocks or something but to just be OPEN to sustainable investments that catch your attention that can help u and even ur community!! this also reminds me of tech inventors or investing in tech or USING technology as a way to help you determine the kinds of values you want to have and/or what you actually wanna stand up for.
uranus in the 3rd house: moving forward by shaking up how you show up in your online communities, or your social media presence. have you ever been interested in starting a podcasts or blogging more? (like those conversations you have with your friends about your interests or hobbies can go far or even commentary on the way media looks like and is being used now. Invest in learning new methods of communication you have been interested in (like buying that new camera or learning how to code or finally starting that youtube channel). Use your platform to reach more people!! This also reminds me of someone who disrupts the status quo with innovation in education like maybe writing new curriculum thats more aligned to our modern generation or any other platforms/ media that are up and coming and useful to students??
uranus in the 4th house: focusing on moving forward with your ideal home environment in mind. visualize it and focus on the ways you can start putting in into action! dont be afraid to start over and re-design! think about the ways you want your environment to be emotionally and physically stable for you and what its gonna look like (eco-living? smart homes? communal living?) this placement reminds me of those people that buy mansions or plots of lands with a group of friends and put their money together to help grow and live together! Don't beat yourself up if your idea of home or family doesnt fit the cookie cutter image (which is honestly going away now slowly and will def shift with pluto in aqua). YOU get to decide what home and family is and you can inspire others to do the same. Your idea of family has to align with your desire for freedom and emotional growth.
uranus in the 5th house: going all out in the ways you experiment with your art and creativity. You could be great at creating "futuristic" type of art haha (or investing in art forms that arent super popular or well known rn but you're ahead of the game and they could be popular in the future). Be bold in all areas that have to do with the 5h (think outside the box with how you express yourself artistically and romantically). Pluto in aqua will support you in u turning your creative work and forms of self expression into something that inspires people and gauges strong emotions from them! that claw clip idea was def giving uranus in the 5h energy. She was HAPPY creating it, it was a hobby first (5h) and then people told her it was useless or strange and she kept going anyway and she got to profit it from it, especially through social media (the 5h-11h axis). trust me when I say there is something out there for everybody. EVERYBODY.
uranus in the 6th house: pluto in aqua will urge you to break free from outdated systems and explore new ways to stay productive and healthy!! The traditional 9-5 might not appeal to you and thats okay because it doesnt to a lot of people and they have created their own way. Think about the tech-driven approaches you want to explore in your daily life (apps, the media you use, how you use tech in regards to your health). Think about how tech can help your productivity and your health!! This reminds me of my coworker who bought like this ultraface ring (I think thats what its called) but she loves it and its super high tech and fancy and shit and it monitors a lot of her health and its motivated her in her routines! The way we motivate ourselves looks different! You can move forward by exploring the most flexible options for you.
uranus in the 7th house: you can move forward by redefining what partnership + relationships actually mean to you. now more than ever its time to focus on partnerships where there is a sense of independence and equality. ESPECIALLY bc pluto in aqua is going to redefine and TRANSFORM (pluto) what community and friendships and relationships (aqua) look like in the first place. so be ahead of the game by surrounding yourself and nuturing your relationships with people that are not scared to break away from the norm and actually want to work together and are built to support mutual growth and freedom. dont stress trying to confine yourself to keep someone who is not open minded enough for you! find your person/ people.
part 2 coming soon!! đŞŠâ¨đŚ
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Omg hi. I just found you and cheered. I have a order.
Lando Norris, Thick Crust, Red Sauce,
Cherry Tomatoes, Root beer, Mango Smoothie,
Aftercare
If you could maybe make it a dizzy, inconcent reader where people flirt with her and she dosnt now and flirts back and Lando thinks the only way for people to leave her alone would be if she pregnant with his child. And he definitely has feelings for her. đ¤
â¨ď¸THANK YOU â¨ď¸
Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
thick crust sugar daddy red sauce rough sex cherry tomatoes "I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies" root beer daddy kink mango smoothie baby trapping dessert yes served by Lando Norris
Lando x Ditzy! reader
AN: Okay! So I am so sad that I had to close my requests early but in a week I got over 100 requests which is fucking amazing and I am so happy for them but I want to make sure requests are coming out in a timely manner so I will be completely all requests within the next few weeks and once the Pizzeria is back open it will be a rebrand... So if you have any prompt ideas, kinks, or overall things you want to see get added to the menu just send me a message and I'll see what I can do!
TW breeding kink, baby trapping, pregnancy, dirty talk, rough sex, creampie, jealous Lando
WC 1200+
Y/N POV
"Danny! You can't just say things like that," I laugh loudly with the Australian in front of me. I can feel my cheeks growing red from the sexual joke Daniel just cracked.
I can feel a hand on my lower back making me look over my shoulder to find Lando making my smile grow more before I lean up and place a kiss on his cheek.
"What are you two up to?" Lando questions with a slight edge in his voice.
"Was just telling, Y/N about my summer break," Daniel says with a smile. I watch as Lando's face grows in a smile before he's ushering us towards the bar.
"Don't wander to far," Lando tells me making me look up and smile.
"Okay, babe!" I say when I place a kiss on his cheek.
"Are you okay?" I ask Lando softly making him nod his head before flagging the bartender down and ordering both of us drinks.
As time passed I found myself talking with Charles and Ollie.
"Charles! You'll have to invite me over sometime!" I tell Charles as he finishes telling me how he finally got Leo to stop peeing in the kitchen.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt but I'm just gonna steal her away. We have early morning plans so I gotta get this one off to bed," Lando says randomly interrupting making me raise a brow before trying to speak.
"Say bye," Lando tells me before I can even say anything.
I just turn back towards the two men waving a good bye before following Lando out of the club.
"I literally told you not to wander off," Lando snapped when we finally hopped into our Uber.
"Lando, I could see you the whole time," I reply back softly not understanding why he was so mad.
"Could you? Cause there was a solid 5 minutes where I was wandering around to find you," Lando tells me roughly making me huff and turn my back on him to look out the window.
Lando and I sat in silence for the rest of the car ride when we finally pulled up to his apartment building instantly making me get out and march to the front doors not waiting for Lando.
When we get into his apartment I lock myself in his bathroom still not wanting to talk to him, but eventually I had to face him and when I walked out of the bathroom I was changed into a silky sleep dress while Lando was sitting in bed in his boxers.
"I don't wanna see you entertaining men anymore. You're mine," Lando says not even looking up from his phone.
"Last time I checked, you were the one who was adamant we were nothing more than sex and money," I reply back while climbing into the bed next to Lando.
"Do you see the way you walked into my home like it was yours? How you climb into MY bed like it was yours? The way you have half my closet full of your stuff? That's all because you're mine, whether it has been a discussion or not, you have come into my life and fucked up any prior deal, so fucking sue me if I set a boundary with you," Lando finally snaps back making me look around his room realizing that over the year of us hooking up for money I had basically moved in. I had made his home our home and I didn't even realize.
"Lando, I think we should have this discussion when we are both fully sober," I tell him softly. I knew what I wanted sober or drunk I wanted Lando to be mine but was this just some drunk game Lando was playing.
"No, I'm barely fucking tipsy., I didn't even realize you didn't realize you were mine. I thought it was unspoken," Lando tells me softly before turning towards me and placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"Do you know how many men want to fuck you?" Lando questioned with a raised brow making me laugh slightly.
"Lando, you're the only man who wants to fuck me," I reply back with a roll of the eye.
"You're mine," Lando said moving topics again and pulling me in for a heated make-out session.
I quickly climb into Lando's lap and grind my bare pussy against his briefs making his groan slightly.
"I'm gonna put a baby in you," Lando tells me softly making me sit up and stare at him in complete shock.
"The fuck are you on about now?" I ask Lando before he pulls me back into for a kiss where he flips us over so I am now under Lando letting him grind into me backing me whimper.
"You're mine and when you walk around that fucking paddock in 6 months everyone will fucking know you're mine," Lando said while trailing kisses down my neck making it clear he was marking his territory.
"You're insane," I whisper back but it quickly turns into a moan because Lando is leaning down and taking a soft lick out of my clit.
"Daddy," I moan when Lando starts sucking on my clit while lightly teasing my soaked hole with his fingers.
"Oh fuck," I scream out when Lando slips 2 fingers in and finds my G-spot.
"I want you to cum on my fingers," Lando says while speeding his actions making me feel the band in m stomach start to grow tight letting me know I was close to cumming for Lando.
"Daddy," I scream out when the band finally snaps and I'm cumming all over Lando's fingers. Lando helped ride my orgasm out before he's pulling his briefs down and roughly shoving his cock deep into my pussy.
"Oh! Daddy," I gasp still not fully recovered from my previous orgasm and can already feel a second one building up.
"Fucking hell, so damn needy already gonna cum for me," Lando said with a smirk while bringing his hand down to my clit and giving it a rough rub bringing me closer to the edge.
"Daddy," I whine when I feel myself reach the point of no return, cumming all over Lando's cock with a shout. I was shaking and so long in my own pleasure, I don't feel Lando's hips shutter as he fills my pussy full of his cum.
"I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies," Lando groans with a smirk while slowly pulling out of me.
"Lando, I probably didn't get pregnant from one time," I tell him softly with a laugh falling from my lips.
"I'll fuck you until you do," Lando says with a shrug. That night we fell asleep tangled in each other's arms.
6 weeks later
"Fucking hell," I gasp while staring down at the positive pregnancy test.
"I told you, you were gonna have my babies," Lando said with a proud smirk.
"Lando, what the fuck are we gonna do?" I ask starting to panic.
"Hey, calm down! It's all gonna work itself out," Lando tells me softly while pulling me into his chest.
"I can't wait to see everyone's face when you show up to the paddock supporting a bump caused by me baby," Lando tells me making me laugh lightly.
I knew we would figure everything out. It wasn't how I pictured myself getting pregnant but boy am I happy it's how it happened.
#f1#formula 1#f1 imagine#formula 1 x you#f1 x you#formula one imagines#f1 smut#formula one smut#formula 1 smut#lando norris#lando norris smut#lando smut#lando imagine#landoscar#lando x reader#lando norris imagines#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#ln4 x y/n#ln4 smut#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4#ln4 x reader#mclaren f1#mclaren#ln4 x you smut#ln4 x you
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hiii omg istg your modern jace works have been living in my mind RENT FREE THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD but like a modern college jace bringing reader to meet rhaenyra and his brothers for the first time would be soooo cute, like i feel like joffery would LOVE that his big bro had a gf and would like pull her to colour with him and do stuff like that and rhaenyra would love her like a daughter, luke would LOVE embarrassing himm <3
Season 2 is premiering right now, but I have to wait until 10pm to watch since I don't have access to HBO Max... Please come to my ask and send me requests/let's talk about the new episode!! I will be opening them after I watch and giving my thoughts on the episode every weeks đâď¸đ¤
Thank you so much for the love for modern!Jace. I really enjoy writing about him. This one was challenging to write as there was a lot of people to write about. I hope you like it!!
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
â
When Jacaerys came home for Thanksgiving, he didnât tell his family about you. You had only been dating for a couple of weeks and were still getting to know each other. It was too soon to announce that he had someone in his life. But a mother's instinct never fails to recognize the smile on her sonâs face whenever he looks at his phone or the hushed phone call she had heard when she walked by Jaceâs bedroom.Â
Although she wanted to know everything about Jaceâs new girlfriend, Rhaenyra respected her sonâs privacy and let him tell her in his own time. That was until Luke spilled the beans after coming across a picture on social media where Jace was holding and kissing a girlâs cheek. Â
In typical brothers behavior, Jace sent a lot of middle finger emojis to Luke for spilling to their mother.Â
After a long phone call with her, a date was set. Joffreyâs birthday was coming up, so Rhaenyra saw it as a good opportunity to meet you. And Joffrey would love for his big brother to be there on his seventh birthday since he missed it last year.Â
ââMom, weâre home!ââ Jace called as he opened the door of his childhood house, carrying small bags for your weekend stay.Â
The sound of footsteps on the second floor filled the small entryway as Jace dropped the bags with a thud, making you jump. You took a deep breath, your nerves getting the best of you.
ââItâs going to be fine. Theyâre gonna love you,ââ Jace reassured you, kissing your temple sweetly before an overexcited Joffrey came down the stairs. ââHereâs the birthday boy!ââÂ
Joffrey hugged Jace, happy that he was home. It must not be easy for him to not see Jace everyday anymore.Â
More footsteps came from the back of the house as Rhaenyra, with a blond toddler in her arms, came to greet you. Her warm smile was welcoming. You couldn't help but notice how Jace's features mirrored hers. Except for the hair and eyes. He must have gotten them from his father.Â
ââHi. Itâs lovely to meet you,ââ she said, her voice kind and genuine. ââI would give you a hug, but Iâm worried Viserys is going to try to pull on your hair⌠He picked up this bad habit last week and weâre working on it.ââÂ
You smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. ââNo worries, itâs nice to meet you too, Mrs. Targaryen,ââ you replied, glancing at the curious toddler who was eyeing you with fascination.Â
ââPlease, call me Rhaenyra.ââ
Joffrey tugged at your and Jaceâs sleeves, his eyes wide with excitement. ââCome, I want to show you my birthday cake. Thereâs a big dragon on it.ââÂ
Rhaenyra was quick to correct the young boy, laughing dryly. ââThere is no birthday cake in this house.ââÂ
You chuckled politely, figuring out that Joffrey must have seen the cake by accident and Rhaenyra was trying to keep it a surprise.Â
ââJace told me you have a massive dragon collection,ââ you said, driving the young boyâs attention to something else than the birthday cake. ââIs that true?ââÂ
Joffrey grinned and began to tell you all about his dragons. He fetched some from the playing room and brought them over to show you on the couch, giving you all sorts of information about dragons. There was one of every color and size. Some had horns and a threatening stare, while others looked simply beautiful.Â
While you were occupied with Joffrey, Jace went upstairs to drop your bags in his bedroom. When it came back, he watched the two of you from the corner, finding it sweet how quick Joffrey took a liking to you. He was usually shy around new people.Â
ââWhereâs Luke and Aegon?ââÂ
Rhaenyra set Viserys down on the floor so he could play with his blocks, and shook her head. ââI donât know. Probably upstairs. Aegon is with Daemon in the backyard. Since we cleaned the old playset, he always wants to go outside.ââÂ
Leaning over the banister, Jace called out to Luke. ââLuke! Come here, you little shiâââÂ
ââLanguage,ââ Rhaenyra scolded, her eyes pointing at Joffrey and Viserys.Â
He apologized and you bit back a smile. He truly was a mamaâs boy.
You didnât meet Aegon and Daemon â Jaceâs step father â until dinner. The latter looked intimidating, but he kindly smiled at you as you shook his hand. As he was helping his wife getting the food on the table, she gave him a subtle nod of approval, silently telling him that she liked you.
ââI told you my mom would like you,ââ Jace said, pulling you with him in the hallway while the younger ones were being bathed and put to bed. His arms were around you, chasing your worries away.
You took a deep breath, feeling the tension leave your body as you smiled up at him. ââNow I know where you got your kindness and charm from.ââÂ
ââYou think Iâm charming?ââÂ
Rolling your eyes, you tried to get away, but Jace didnât let you.Â
ââJoffrey is very fond of you too,ââ he continued, his eyes sparkling with amazement. ââIâve never seen him so at ease with someone he doesnât know.ââÂ
ââHe gave me a full lesson about dragons. He is so sweet.ââÂ
Hearing this made Jace happy. For him, family was very important, so it meant a lot to him that you were getting along with his family.Â
His gaze softened, his eyes locking onto yours before leaning down to kiss you. Your fingers gripped the fabric of his zip-up hoodie, kissing him back until a loud, exaggerated gagging sound broke through the moment.Â
You both turned to see Luke standing at the end of the hallway, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.Â
ââDo you want to see Jace as a baby?ââ Luke asked with gleeful enthusiasm. ââHe had chubby cheeksâŚlike Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks.ââ
Jace groaned in embarrassment and you chuckled, imagining baby Jace with chubby cheeks. ââIâd love to see those photos,ââ you teased, nudging Jace playfully.
But Luke wasn't done. ââDo you know why there is no school picture of him in fifth grade?ââ he continued, leaning against the wall, clearly relishing the moment. ââThere was this guy at school who was bullying me and Jace decided to put his big brother pants on and take him on a fight. This guy was two inches taller than him and much bigger, so Jace lost and fell, which knocked his front tooth out the night before picture day at school.ââ
You laughed, picturing a brave little Jace standing up for his brother. ââYouâve always been protective, I see,ââ you said, turning to Jace. A small smile tugged at his lips. ââOkay. Luke, thatâs enough,ââ Jace decided, taking you away from him before more embarrassing stories could come out of his brotherâs mouth.
â
House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios @lover-of-helios @shine101 @tanyaherondale @mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden@memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen @domoron @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08 @mymultiveres @secretsthathauntus @puffycreamcakes @thirsty4nonlivingmen @naty-1001 @katiepie67 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz @vane1999-blog @fairyfolkloresposts @todaywasafairytale07 @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @armstrongscommentsection @withfireandbl00d @randomstory56 @JudgmentDays-Girl @darylandbethfanforever9 @darylandbethfanforever9 @aegonswife @dakotapaigelove @jays-bullshit
All and more taglist: @kenqki @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart @xyzstar @graceberman3  @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis @katherinejess @rafesgirlstuff  @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity @Anouknani-2305 @books0fever @papichulo120627 @qardasngan @ghostlyvoidydragon @M0rgans1nterlud3 @dahlia-blossom21
#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys velaryon imagine#house of the dragon#jacaerys hotd
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I really donât know if this is like. For anyone. But as a 33 year old autistic, Iâve spent a lot of time having to deal with a wide variety of folks in various jobs, and itâs forced me out of my shell. I dunno if youâd call âem masking behaviors or just⌠guidelines, but I thought Iâd share some stuff about how I try to go about dealing with socializing with folks, especially neurotypicals, in the hopes it might help folks like me who, growing up, didnât have a rulebook for this stuff.
Itâs by no means comprehensive, but maybe some of you can use it:
Open with kindness, folks are a mystery until you get to know them, but if youâre polite and assume the best unless proven otherwise, nine times out of ten, theyâll be the same way!
If someone is rude or disrespectful or unkind off the bat, it truly is a problem on their end, not yours. I know thatâs one your parents might have thrown out without explaining, but genuinely, my experience has been that people arenât good about compartmentalization, and they tend to let their bad mood spill out.
Similarly, itâs your right to disengage if someone makes you uncomfortable. You donât owe someone your attention if theyâre rude or too forward, and itâs not your obligation to correct their behavior. Itâs okay to just move on!
Remember people arenât mind readers- I know for folks like us, feelings can be Big and Present and Overwhelming, but from the outside, people might just assume youâre being sullen or grumpy. Itâs helpful to explain yourself, whatâs going on- donât give âem your lifeâs story and try to lead with kindness, as above, but explaining where your head is at can help folks understand why things might be hard for you.
People REALLY like to try to fix stuff. If you tell someone who cares about you whatâs going on and they try to throw a buncha stuff like âwell have you tried thisâ or âmaybe you should do thisâ at you, theyâre generally not trying to tell you what to do like youâre wrong, theyâre just not sure how to help and are doing what comes naturally- trying to fix the problem. It can help to open any venting with âhey, can I vent about this?â Since then the expectations are set.
People can only operate on the information they have, so itâs better to over-explain than not explain at all. Donât throw out every single detail of whatâs going on, just the basics, but âIâm feeling frustrated because of some unexpected newsâ or âWell, Iâm kinda struggling with my relationship with a friendâ can be enough for folks to understand things at the ground floor.
There are very few people in your life who are capable of taking on the weight of a friendâs problems on top of their own, and it takes time to learn who those people are. I know folks like us can make friends quickly and rush into trusting them implicitly, but people can sometimes take a while to show you who they are. And not every friendship is gonna be as deep as weâd like it to be. This is okay, of course, not everyone has to be best buds, but it can help a lot to take the time to wait for those people to show who they are.
Ask questions, listen to people, and know that itâs okay for there to be silence. Itâs very easy to get excited about whatâs stuck in your craw on a given day, but remember that from the outside, people might get worn out if every conversation is about what youâre fixated on. Itâs a give and take, so try to consciously remind yourself to make sure to listen and give them room to speak too! It means a lot when you do that for people!
When you donât know if someone is ignoring you or if theyâre mad at you or what have you from a lack of information, remember that oftentimes itâs a product of ignorance, not malice. Again, you know how you feel about a situation, but they probably donât. A conversation turning from what you were talking about, someone ceasing replying to you, not answering a question, etc is more often just unaware than they are actively being malicious.
Remember that itâs on other folks to tell you if thereâs a problem between them and you, not on you to sleuth it out. If they arenât properly communicating with you, thatâs on them, not you- try not to beat yourself up if someone doesnât talk to you about something before a molehill becomes a mountain, thatâs a mistake all kinda folks make, and itâs something some people never learn.
Most of all, remember that for all the talk of social cues and neurotypical behavior, the truth is, everyone kinda⌠sucks at this social thing. All you really control is how you approach it, so if you do your best to come into a relationship of any kind with kindness and love for yourself and respect for others, most of the time youâll come out ahead!
ADDENDUM: BIG one here- if you think you did something wrong, apologize! I donât mean a big like- sobbing show of contrition, donât grovel or write paragraphs, but if you speak over someone or say something that doesnât land or make any little social mistake here or there (everyone does sometimes!) a simple little genuine âoh, my apologies!â Or âoop, my bad!â Not only makes them feel better, it can make you feel better too!
Hope some of these help folks!
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â lost to time ft. sae itoshi
â warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?
â author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!
â first recording
âhi sae! i heard from rin that youâll be leaving for spain. iâm really sorry i couldnât come to see you off, iâve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but thatâs beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the worldâs best striker yeah? donât worry, everything will pass by quickly so donât miss me too much ok?â
sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didnât really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.
-
â second recording
âhey hey guess whoâs sending you another voice message? itâs me obviously, why didnât you tell me you were back already?! if you did i wouldâve picked you up from the airport!
âŚâŚ
is something the matter sae? you havenât picked up any of your parentsâ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? iâll always be here to listen, ok? donât bottle everything up, itâll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain youâve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. thatâs all, good night sae.â
sae didnât really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, theyâll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet â filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums.Â
everything passes.
â college; third recordings
âi got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! iâll be moving into the dorms soon. iâm gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isnât that nice! heâs following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you arenât a striker anymore but itâs still nice to know that youâre still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!â
sae didnât really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago â they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didnât recognize them. sae didnât recognize himself.Â
maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.
âthereâs nothing else i could do.â he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. âeverything passes.â
âhey hey hey itâs me again! how have you been sae? iâd like to think that iâve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didnât recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! heâs a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i canât believe you still remember that i wanted âno longer humanâ! thank you, iâll be sure to treasure it. well, thatâs all for today. call you some other time sae!â
everything passes.
-
â drunk recordings; the words i wish i couldâve told you sooner
âhow do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! iâm at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but itâs fine. donât worry, iâm already on my way home and the driver isnât some creepy dude that might kill me.
âŚâŚ
you know, i like you very much but i donât think youâll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we arenât dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we arenât 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.â
âŚâŚ
âhello? god that was so embarrassing⌠sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i donât even know. denying it wonât really help right haha⌠itâs in the past now so donât mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. iâm really sorry, it was just me being drunk.â
sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night heâd think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently?Â
sae didnât like deep and evoking questions about âwhat ifâsâ, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.
yet the silence was too loud, even for him.
everything passes.
-
â graduation recordings
âwell, i think itâs safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still canât believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but donât worry! in your next match iâll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, iâll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, iâm still your number one fan after all!â
sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible.Â
he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.
everything passes.
-
â recordings from 2 years ago
âiâm sorry. i know you shouldâve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. iâm sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? iâm sorry. god iâm so sorry sae.â
âŚâŚ
âhey. i received the gift you sent me. you didnât have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesnât it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. iâll be sure to wear it everyday. thatâs all, have a good night sae.â
âŚâŚ
âhey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid iâm sorry. good night sae.â
âŚâŚ
âmakoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl heâs pining over since sophomore year. iâm happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasnât really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didnât i? iâm glad you didnât really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didnât really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well thatâs all, iâm getting pretty tired already so iâll head to bed. good night sae.â
everything passes.
-
â present
âhi. thank you by the way. i donât know, i just donât think iâve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isnât it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i canât even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. heâs gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, heâs probably taller than you now!
âŚâŚ
sae, thank you. for everything. iâm glad we stayed in touch. iâm glad we stayed as friends. thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean weâd still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but thatâs pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.â
âyou know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i donât want to die.â
âplease remember me ok? and iâll be sure to remember you. iâll see you again, sae.â
ânii-chan..â
sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? heâll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.
how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?
sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call â you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldnât bring himself to stop. he didnât want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.
âhappy birthday you idiot.â he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. âyou said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.â two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. âyou better come watch me alright?â he could only bitterly smile.Â
âyouâre 30 now,â he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. âyou shouldâve waited for me, you idiot.â sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. âi wanted to marry you too, yâknow.â
sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but youâll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own.Â
âi told the stars about you and what we couldâve had.â he chuckled, âyouâre by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.â
standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end.Â
sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didnât really like flowers, but every year heâd get you a pretty bouquet. sae didnât like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, heâd come back over and over again. sae didnât like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.
sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go.Â
and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.
everything passes. just like how youâll eventually get lost in the sands of time.
Š vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.
#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae x you#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#sae itoshi x you#sae itoshi x y/n#itoshi sae x y/n#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#bllk x reader#bllk x you#blue lock angst#bllk angst#sae itoshi angst#( đĄ ) â royal flush of stories .á
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The Oneđž
Summary: Life always felt like something was missing and falling into a funk you go to move to forks to live with your best friend Jacob and everything seems to fall into place when he introduces you to his friends
Pairing: Paul Lahote x f!reader
â˘Masterlistâ˘
Every since I was little I felt like something was missing, like no matter how happy and whole my life felt it was never enough and when I grew into my teen years it just got worse, so my mom thought it be best to send me to live with our family friends in Forks Washington where we use to live before we moved
Getting out of the cab seeing the familiar red house feeling the fresh coastal air breeze across me something clicked in me, like everything was gonna somehow be better here
I got my suitcase out of the car waving goodbye to the man that drove me all this way from the airport
âY/N!!! YOURE HERE!â I turned seeing Jacob running out the door to me with wide open arms
Dropping my bags I jumped into his arms as he swung me around holding me tight then setting me gently on the ground again
âI canât believe youâre back, I missed you so muchâ
âJake we call almost every dayâ I laugh as he picks up my bags leading me back to the house
âI know but itâs not the same as actually having you here, plus I think itâll be good for you, I have a bunch of friends now and we do stuff all the time and theyâll love you!â He was as excited as a little kid in a candy shop and it warmed my heart, finally being back in the town I was born in, the place I only ever felt right before moving
He dropped my bags in a little room, seemingly nervous at what Iâll think of it
âI love it, thank you and Billy agains for letting me stayâ
âAnytime! Now I planned a little welcome home fire tonight for you, food, music and youâll get to meet the whole pack!â
âPack?â
âOh umm yeah likeâŚ.i mean my friends, our whole group, my friend Bella from town and some of the elders, I remember how you loved those stories theyâd tell us as kidsâ
âYou did all that for me?!â
âOf course, youâre back home where you belong, itâs only right we celebrateâ
The night came and Jake was driving us to the go to spot they had fires and gatherings, we pulled up to a big open field by a little house, a big fire already roaring bright, hearing the cheerful voices from my open window as Jake shut off the engine
âCome on whatâre you waiting for?â Jake asked from my now open door, my nerves taking hold of me not even noticing he got out and was now waiting for me on my side of the truck
âIâm a little nervous what ifâŚ.what if they donât like me?â
âTheyâre nothing to be worried about, just think of them just like me, and youâre always relaxed around me now come on letâs get some food before Paul eats it allâ his words soothed me finally coursing me out of the truck
âOh I remember Paul, he use to play with us sometimes at the beach right?â
âYeah heâs become a bit of a hot head but he means well, heâs pretty protective of things that are importantâ he said handing me a plate as we got to the tables filled with food
âHey!! Jake come over here got a spot for you!â I heard a girl by the fire say waving him over
âThatâs Bella, Iâm gonna go talk with her, mingle around these people will be in your life as long as you live with meâ he smiled soothing my worries as he walked off
I picked up a chocolate chip muffin and placed it on the plate when someone spoke next to me
âHey you must be the girl of the hour, Iâm Emily Jake hasnât stopped talking about you since he found out you were moving here, Iâm glad to finally meet you!â She smiled giving me a warm motherly vibe
âItâs nice to meet you too! Thank you for coming I canât believe everyone came just for me, Iâm excited to reconnect and meet everyone!â
âCome on Iâll introduce you aroundâ she brought me around, I met Seth Clearwater who wasnât even born before I left but I remembered his sister Leah as well as Embry, I talked to Billy and the elders a bit before we moved on to the next
âHey Paul! Remember y/n and few of the others do already!â
âHow could I forget that little rascalâ he laughed as he looked up at me from his plate, his smile dropping as we made eye contact, his plate crumbling to the ground
Everything felt still, this connection and pull I felt to him like heâs the only thing the matters, that no matter what happens or where I go Iâll be safe and loved, he drops to his knees as I place me hands on his shoulders, admiring his features heâs changed so much, so tall so muscular so handsome, the chatter around us stopped feeling everyoneâs eyes on us but I donât care all I care about is this moment
âNo no no no NO, Paul really? Out of everyone it had to be my best friend?â Jake fumed snapping us out of this strange trance
âLike I can help it, but Iâm not complaining sheâs beautifulâ he said making my heart thump
âUmmm what just happened?â The confusing starting to set in
âRight, I wouldnât expect you to remember, come on weâll tell you everythingâ Jake grabbed my hand and sat me next to him at the fire, Paul quick to sit on my other side, his body heat relaxing me
The âpackâ went on to tell me everything, that the legends were true and most of the people including my best friend was a shifter, a wolf, it was hard to believe I mean wolves? But it wasnât until they told me about imprints and that I was now Paulâs, but it didnât feel wrong it felt completely right, like magically I was whole again
Everyone looked at me expectantly, anxious and waiting expression on everyone
âI know itâs a lot and we understand if you need time honeyâ Billy said comfortingly
âNoâŚâŚIâm fine really, I actually feel the best I have in a long timeâ I smile sheepishly as my cheeks rush with heat
âThat makes sense, itâs said that if youâre separated from your soulmate even if not imprinted yet it drains you and now that youâre back, youâre where youâre suppose to beâ Sam stated as he squeezed Emilyâs hand
I look next to be to Paul whoâs rough exterior I always remembered was gone now replaced with adoration as he looked at me like I hung the moon in the sky
âWould you like to go talkâŚ..privately?â I asked
âIâd loved to Angelâ he took my hand and led me away from the fire to the house, it was cozy just like Jakeâs home, well mine now too
âSoooo I guess Iâm your soulmateâ
âIâve been waiting for you, I always did have a crush on you when we were younger, always got jealous when Jake would talk about youâ he smirked as he brushed back my hair
âReally? You had a crush on me?â
âAlways, missed you a lot when you left, tried to forget about you but I never could get you out of my head, felt like something was missing with you gone and now I know whyâ
âSo what are we now?â My heart thumping fast
âAnything you want Angelâ he said squeezing my thigh
âCan we start with a date?â I ask placing my hand ontop of his that rested on my thigh
âIâd love that, how about I pick you up tomorrow at 5 Iâll plan something special!â
The clock showed 4:30 and I was a nervous wreck, this is my first date ever and itâs with a guy whoâs my soulmate and a wolf, how did my life change so drastically
I combed down my hair for the millionth time hearing Jake laugh behind me as he was sat on the bed
âAnd what are you laughing at?â
âYou, youâre fidgeting like crazyâ
âJake stopâŚIâve never done this before what if we go out and he realizes he doesnât wanna be with me, then Iâm alone againâ
âY/n/n heâs gonna love you, hell I see how jealous heâd get everytime Iâd bring you upâ
There was a knock at the door and my heart jumped, I got up and flattened down my ivory dress
âOkay how do I look?â
âYou look great now go on donât keep him waiting!â I rush to the door taking a deep breath and opening it to see Paul standing with a pair of jeans and a tight black short sleeve and a bouquet of wild flowers in his hands
âYou look beautiful wowâ he said in a daze as his eyes roamed over every inch of me
âYou donât look to bad yourself handsomeâ
âHere these are for you, but they canât compare to how pretty you areâ he said handing them over
âPaul stop youâre gonna make me blushâ I smiled placing the flowers in a little vase
âThatâs the goal, now letâs go Iâve got everything readyâ he gently took my hand leading me to the open field infront of the house
âWhereâs your truck?â
âWeâre going on footâ itâs just up the hill
We walked hand in hand for a while till we reached the cliff side with a beautiful view, there was string lights across the trees hanging over a comfy blanket with a picnic basket
âWow you did all this for me?â
âOf course and I got all your favourites! Had to get a few tips from Jakeâ he laughed as we sat down
âThis is so sweet, so far this is an amazing first dateâ I said taking a bite of a strawberry
âFirst? Youâve never been on a date before?â
âNoâŚ.ive never been interested in anyone beforeâŚ.well before nowâ I looked at him a bit embarrassed but being around him felt like heâd never judge me
âI get that, no one ever compared to how I feel for you, youâre the one, my only oneâ
Part 2?
#twilight x reader#twilight fluff#twilight wolves#twilight wolfpack#twilight saga#twilight#paul lahote x y/n#paul lahote x reader#paul lahote#paul lahote imagine#Paul lahote one shot#embry call#seth clearwater x reader#jacob black#jacob black x reader#edward cullen#bella swan#emmett cullen#leah clearwater#sam uley#jasper cullen
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if you're still taking requests for the event could i request floyd with "Maybe we should just kiss to break the tension" ? ty !
hehe ofc ofc!
summary: "maybe we should just kiss to break the tension" type of post: fic characters: floyd additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, pre book 3, kissing, yuu is very much canon yuu here lol a part of this event
Riddle's noble efforts to warn you about Floyd Leech had fallen on deaf ears.
"And stay out of trouble!" were his exact words, if you remembered correctly.
You'd almost scoffed.
You had already been at NRC for months; you'd fought monsters, solved mysteries, and come out of all of it in one piece.
You could handle a history of magic project.
Sure, this is your first mixed-year assignment; and yes, the project itself makes up a great portion of your semester grade...
...but if anyone had asked you, you'd say that a measly school presentation is nothing compared to what you've already been through.
"Remember not to play along with his antics; it only encourages him,"
Riddle had wasted no time lecturing you about your mysterious project partner the second his name left your lips.
You'd come to him to ask if he knew the guy, not his entire life story.
"Stay focused... and stay out of trouble!"
Trouble. Ha. Every second at NRC since you'd arrived had been trouble.
You walk into the library; like usual, it's mostly empty.
Floyd Leech, Floyd Leech... now, where would...?
"Hey, you!"
You turn on your heels to face the source of the shout; leaning against a bookshelf behind you is the tallest boy you've ever seen.
He even gives off the vague impression of towering over you, making you feel small regardless...
"Man, I almost didn't see 'ya, you're so tiny," he grins, baring a row of sharp teeth. "I'm gonna call you Shrimpy. Now, come onnn, I've been waiting forever!"
You're early. Before you can say as much, he grabs you by the forearm and drags you off to a table.
"Alright, Shrimpy," he says, taking a seat across from you. "What's on the docket for today?"
"Uhh..." you're still slightly dazed. He's got some energy, that's for sure.
Riddle's words flash through your mind.
"...Well, I was thinking we could find our material first, then outline..."
"Reading?" Floyd asks, slumping in his seat as if he'd just received terrible news.
You blink. "...Well, we're going to have to read a little,"
He groans, loudly. A few people in the library turn to stare before awkwardly shuffling away.
"...Nah, I'm not in the mood. Let me do 'somethin else,"
What had Riddle said yesterday? "He changes his mind at the drop of a hat. Arguing is no good,"
"...Okay," you say, tentatively reading his expression. "I'll start with the outline. Do you want to look for pictures instead?"
He's quiet, as if seriously considering the pros and cons of the offer, and then he shrugs.
You sigh. Riddle was just being overdramatic. This is fine!
Floyd becomes lost in his assigned job, leafing through an atlas in search of a map from the time period you're researching, leaving you to your reading.
It'd be an easier job with two people, but...
"You're real quiet, Shrimpy,"
You look up from your encyclopedia. He'd shoved the atlas aside, his eyes fixed on you instead.
You raise an eyebrow. "I'm reading...?"
"Aw. Don't tell me you're the serious type?" a loud, dramatic sigh follows. "I was hoping we could have some fun. I was really looking forward to meeting you and all..."
You have to remind yourself that you have a reputation here. Great...
"Well, sorry to disappoint, but I'm a pretty boring person. Normal,"
Floyd's brow furrows. "Nah, I don't buy that. You wanna know what I think?"
You don't like this. The way he's looking at you, like he sees something you don't...
"...I think you only act normal 'cause you're afraid of being judged. You try way too hard to be a good student and stuff 'cause you wanna fit in here,"
Ouch. You blink, momentarily stunned to silence. He could tell all that just from watching you read?
"I'm just 'sayin," he gives you another sharp smile. "I wouldn't mind if you stopped acting all serious around me. You're way too tense."
"...Tense? I am not tense,"
Your denial only encourages him. A wide grin creeps across his face.
"Yeah, you know. You could feel the stress in this place from a mile away...
...Maybe we should just kiss to break the tension,"
Riddle had drilled you for hours; Floyd stealing your things, making you chase him, getting bored and leaving, a thousand possible situations that could come out of a simple study session...
...This was not one of them.
Floyd grins again, wider this time. "Ahah, never mind. You're way too boring and normal for something like that, right?"
You suddenly feel hot; he's putting you on the spot, and he knows it. He seems to be living for your agitation.
"Hey, that's not fair-"
"Fair schmair," he cuts in. "I gave you a dare, and you can't do it. Happens all the time to you, I bet. It's-"
Riddle had warned you, several times, quite clearly, not to play along.
But... in your defense...
Floyd giggles against your lips, the delighted little noise giving away a hint of surprise. His hands, cold and clammy but nice nonetheless, grab hold of your face, drawing you closer into the kiss. He's threatening to pull you across the table at this point...
...It's a good thing you chose a time when the library would be empty.
After a minute or two, he lets go, leaving you breathless with another smile.
"I knew you had it in 'ya," he says, reaching across the table to pull the encyclopedia back towards him.
"My turn to read, okay? I was getting bored of the pictures,"
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đđ¨đ¨ đŚđŽđđĄ | đđđđ˘đ đŚđŽđ§đŹđ¨đ§
you get upset when eddie's friends think you're clingy. he sets you straight with some unbridled affection. requested here. fem!reader, 2.6k
ËĘâĄÉË
The diner is bustling with life and smells alike, people in their summer jackets eager to sit down and dig into a plate of greasy, fatty meats. You're just as excited, your fingers curled into Eddie's sleeve and following his lead as he weaves through a gaggle of kids playing between the bar and the booths.Â
"Sorry, sir," a young girl says to him, springing out of his path.Â
"That's okay," he says, leaning back to squint at you curiously, "Do I look like a sir?" he asks you.
Pale faced, dark-haired, the remnants of last night's eyeliner clinging to his bottom lashes, you can't say you'd look at Eddie and think, Sir. Pretty boy extraordinaire with a rather inviting smile, absolutely.Â
"I think so, sir," you say.Â
Eddie laughs at you, pressing a hand behind your shoulders to move you along. His friend Gareth waves from a booth tucked in a corner under a white sconce. Jamison sits to his left, and Margaret to his right. You feel a little skip in your pulse at the sight âthey intimidate you, and you want desperately for them to like you, only you never know what to say.Â
"Hey," Eddie says as you approach the booth. He pushes you gently to encourage you into the seat first. "How's it going? Did we order?"Â
"We were waiting for you. They said we have to go up to the bar when we're ready."
"We're late, I get it. Where's Jeff?"Â
"He went to the bathroom, like, ten minutes ago," Jamison says with a sigh, climbing to his feet. "I'll go see if he's alright."Â
"He's fine. Maggie, are you coming to order?" Gareth says, getting up with him.Â
"Yes, finally!" she says.Â
The relative chaos of your arrival has you hesitating in your seat. Margaret left her purse and her jacket on the table, and Jamison his keys.Â
"You okay to stay here while I order?" Eddie asks.Â
You'd much prefer Eddie order for you, but you don't want to be sitting here by yourself if Jamison and Jeff come back before him. You won't know what to say. It won't be their fault. You'll make things awkward for everyone.Â
You stand up again, shedding your jacket as you do. No one's gonna steal anyone's stuff, the bar is too close. "I'll come with you."
Eddie slots your fingers together easily, grinning, "Lucky me."Â
His friends order first and return to the booth soon after. You and Eddie get cut by a cranky looking old lady but neither of you say anything, nowhere to be and no reason to mind. He tells you about the guitar he's been repairing at work and you listen adoringly, in love with the shape of his lips and how he says every word. He's a great storyteller.Â
A new friend appears once you've ordered.Â
"Hey, Eddie!" one of the waiters says, appearing from the kitchen with a tray of drinks and fries in hand. "Man, I've been trying to get a hold of you all week. The string on my daughter's guitar flew off, nearly blinded her in the process, would you be able to fix that for me? I'll pay you for your time."Â
Eddie waves it off. "It'll only take five minutes, you can drop by whenever I'm home. Why do they keep splitting like that, is she messing with the pegs?"Â
"She definitely is. Can I get your number? Macey washed my pants without emptying the pockets."
There's a mad scramble for a pen. You have one in your jacket because Eddie's always looking for one, but your jacket is back in the booth. You promise to make a hasty return and set off for it, glad to see Jeff's alright, standing at the table likely waiting for you and Eddie to get back rather than move your things. You like Jeff most out of everyone. With the whole group collected you know he won't drag you into conversation.Â
"She's a bit⌠much," Gareth's saying.
"How can she be a bit much? She doesn't say a lot," Maggie says.Â
You frown. You're the only other she.Â
"Not like that, justâ the touching and stuff. She's always grabbing onto him like a toddler. I don't think I could stand it."Â
"You don't have to stand it," Jeff says. "She's Eddie's girl."Â
"Clearly."Â
"Gareth, when was the last time you got laid?" Maggie asks, flicking a hair tie at him, to his annoyance. "You're being bitter. They fucking love each other, man, it's nice."Â
"It is a little tiny bit too much sometimes," Jamison says.
You wince. You know it's a matter of seconds before one of them turns to see you standing there. Is it worse to turn around or to approach?Â
You walk up to the table just as Gareth says, "Yes! Thank you man, she's tooâ"Â
He cuts off when he sees you with a cough.
"Who?" you ask, full well knowing it's you. Honestly, you're shy but you still get mad, you kind of want him to own up and say it while you're there, and at the same time you're hoping against hope they'll lie.Â
Thankfully, they pretend it was about someone else.Â
"Nobody," Maggie says.Â
"Some girl at the library," Jamison says.Â
You lean past Jeff with as sunny an apology as you can manage to grab the pen from your jacket. "Eddie," you say by way of explanation, holding the pen up with a shrug.Â
You walk away quicker than you should. It's obvious you've overheard. There's a thump and a, "Nice fucking job, loser."Â
Eddie's deep in conversation as you offer the pen. He takes it without stopping, but he makes sure he kisses your cheek.Â
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay?" you say.Â
"I'll be right there, sweetheart."Â
To get to the bathroom you have to walk past the booth again. With the hurt feeling pounding between your ears and what you suspect might be all eyes on you, you make for one of the two doors. The summer sun and the dry Hawkins heat hits you immediately, a second layering of smothering to wrap around the first. You walk around a rainbow chalk hopscotch and into the shade of the smoking shelter, hands at your collar, breathing hard.Â
Don't cry, you think firmly. Don't cry. They'll know if you do and that's twice as embarrassing as walking out. Imagine how embarrassed Eddie will feel if you cause a scene. Â
You sit on the little perch in the shelter and stare at the floor. There's nowhere to look that isn't stingingly bright, the sun in the white-blue sky glaring down on you and the sidewalk bleached a blinding ivory. You close your eyes against it. Your shoulders hunch in protectively. Your hands find their way to your face.Â
Like a toddler, Gareth said. You press your fingertips into your eyes, fighting against the ache. Is that true? Are you childish in how much you rely on Eddie? You take his hand and his arm, you catch onto his clothes when you're worried, you step behind him when you're overwhelmed.Â
"Shit," you whisper.Â
The breeze washing over you does little to cool you down. You must sit there for a handful of minutes, worried and nauseous.Â
"Hey," Eddie says gently. You flinch despite his best efforts not to startle you.Â
He looks tall outlined by the sun.Â
"You okay?" he asks.Â
"I just wanted some fresh air," you say.Â
He raises his brows slightly. "That why Gareth just apologised to me?"Â
You wince as he sits down. All of you wants to sag into his side, but a small voice tells you not to. You stay ramrod straight, hands pressed flat and clammy to your knees.Â
Eddie gives your elbow a rub. His thumb digs into soft skin and the harder suggestion of cartilage and bone before sliding up. He uses touch often to convey silent reassurement. This seems to say, I don't know what happened, but I'm here.Â
"I'm fine. We can go back inside," you say, attempting to fool him.Â
"There's no rush." His voice tips to a low, rough register. He's keyed in to your upset, no doubt about it. "It's a nice day, babe."Â
He gives you a minute. The small feathering of clouds skirts one edge of the horizon to the other, the shadow of the diner stretching tall as the sun lazes down. You push the worst of your feelings from your mind. It's easy to do with such an unshakeable support at your side, his fingers curling down to your forearm, vying for a hand to hold.Â
"I heard your friends talking about me. It wasn't all nice," you confess.Â
"Assholes."Â
You glance at his face. He has a crease between his brows.Â
"Well, mostly Gareth. He said that I⌠act like a kid. A toddler, that I'm too much, at least for him to stand. And don't get me wrong, Eds, I'm not thrilled that they were talking about me, but I guess IâŚ" You take a short breath and look away from him. "I hate that it's true."Â
"You can be mad when people talk shit. I'm mad," he says. "He said you're like a toddler?" He shuffles closer to you on the bench. "Babe, it's not true, okay? You're not too much. Fuck, we're here to hang out and they can't wait ten minutes to run their mouthsâ"Â
"It wasn't like that, it was just Gareth." Gareth's always been the selfish friend.Â
"He doesn't get a pass for saying something shitty 'cos he's always shitty. I brought you here," âyou peek at him, recognising upset in his tone even when it's the barest inklingâ "knowing you didn't really want to come because you get so nervous," âhe sounds pained for youâ "I fucking told him to leave you alone. I said we wouldn't come around if he didn't stop being a mood killer."Â
You worry at your bottom lip. "Maybe that's kind of his point, Eds. You have to look out for me. You had to ask someone to be nice to me 'cos I can't handle itâ"Â
"You don't have to handle it. The people around you should be nice to you. This isn't high school, you don't have to put up with it, and I told him that." Eddie grabs your arm with the hand that isn't tangled in yours and turns you to face him. "I'm sorry," he says, almost a murmur, "I didn't invite you today to have you humiliated."Â
You're feeling a little mortified by the passion of his feelings. He's mad at the wrong person, isn't he? "Why are you sorry? I'm the one who clings to you."Â
"I want you to." Eddie holds your eyes, brown and big and imploring you to listen, the starts of his brows sewing together. "I'm sorry because it's not fair. And because Gareth was a dick to you. And for getting mad." He smiles at you ruefully. "I'm being a dick, too."Â
"In what world?"Â
Eddie leans in slowly, giving you enough time to close your eyes as his nose bumps into yours, encouraging your head up to allow for a kiss. He kisses twice, a third time, pulling away to rub your bottom lip.Â
"Are you really upset?" he asks softly.Â
You know whatever answer you give him is one he's okay with.Â
"I feel so embarrassed," you say. "They knew that I overheard them. Now I feel like I'll be constantly worried about how much I'm touching you."Â
"Well, that's their problem. That doesn't say shit about you," Eddie says, wrinkling his nose.Â
"I'm really not too much?" you ask. He can likely hear how desperate you are for a kind answer, your throat burning with the effort it takes to stave off tears.Â
"You've never been too much. I'm the too-much one. You wouldn't even hold my hand when we first started dating, you remember that? We'd go to the movies and you'd get so flustered when I bought your ticket." Eddie's arms wrap around your waist, the breeze ruffling his sweet curls and sending gusts of his smell your way. You're a goner, dropping your face into his shoulder. "Do you remember that?" he asks again, his face slipping down to yours as he hugs you close. "The first time we went to the Hawk together, I went first, and I don't know why you thought you'd have to buy your own ticket but you got all quiet when I got yours, too. I loved that. You know what I loved even more than that?"Â
You smile, knowing he's going to say something lovely. "What?" you ask.Â
"I loved how proud you were to sit down with me. You wouldn't hold my hand but you'd put your cheek on my shoulder just like this."Â
Eddie rubs the tip of his nose against your temple. "I love how much you want to be near me," he says. "It's not childish, is it? If being closer to me makes you feel better, there's nothing wrong with that. Gareth's just jealous 'cos he isn't getting laid."Â
"That's what Maggie said." You laugh.Â
"Maggie's a good one. She makes Gareth bearable, kind of."Â
You feel the stretch of his back under your hands. Your head is pounding from the sudden rush of big emotions, your tongue dry and throat aching, but you don't have a lick of urgency to get up and go back in.Â
"He's such a dick," you whisper.Â
Eddie laughs, patting your back. "Such a fucking dick."Â
"I can't help being a loser and wanting to hug you so much," you say. You're joking now, but it's true all the same.Â
"I tempt the untemptable," he says agreeably.
You laugh and lift up a bit to hug him harder, your face pressing into his neck.Â
"You're not a loser," he says more seriously. "You know that, right? What Gareth said, it's not okay, but there's no accounting for idiocy." Eddie sits back on the bench, taking your forearms into his hands for some more soft massaging. "He can think whatever he likes, I'm not the government, but he was wrong, and also it's rude and, again, super shitty of him to do that here. So with your blessing I'm gonna punch him in the face."Â
"Nooooo," you murmur.Â
"Very soft no. Taking it for a yes."
"Eddie, you can't hit Gareth."
"He should watch his mouth, then."Â
You reach up for a second hug. You love that he prioritised how you felt, as well as how eager he is to stick up for you âhow mad he is on your behalf.Â
"He's trying to take this away from me," Eddie says, leaning back under your weight, arms crossing behind your spine. He looks up at you like you've stolen his breath, lips parted and teeth peeking out with his smile.Â
"Do you really want to punch him?" you ask. You sound very fond.
"I hate that he made you feel bad about yourself. And he irritates me."Â
"ButâŚ"Â
Eddie hums like he's thinking for a moment. "No, I definitely still want to hit him."Â
You tuck a curl away from his cheek tenderly. "Thanks for wanting to defend my honour, Eds," you say.
"I'm on your side through everything." He looks ridiculously pretty saying such a ridiculously lovely thing. "That's how we work, right? You're on my side too?"Â
Your face flushes with heat. "Of course I am, baby."Â
"Good. Unrelated to our previous conversation, how much money do you have, roughly? In case I need financial aid in the coming days." He drops his voice to a whisper, "How much even is bail lately?"Â
You cup his cheek. "We can't afford it," you whisper back.Â
"Typical."Â
ËĘâĄÉË
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