#women do not fix men

[zindagi-jhandwa-firbhi-ghamandwa]

I have family priests and even family seers.

You guys think I'm talking about a DND campaign, but this is real life for me.

Anyway, my family seer has said that I'm being cursed by the sins of my past lives and what I need is a clean slate, which can be accomplished by human sacrifice.

This got me excited, but it turns out they're not actually gonna sacrifice me, it's only going to be figurative.

I will then be "reborn" and no longer cursed by the sins of my previous incarnations.

My family wanted to spend the equivalent of half a month's salary on this.

I said that every six months, these priests and seers (con-men and grifters, all) advise you to spend money on some ritual or the other to fix my life and so far, nothing has worked.

At which point my Mom said that's not true, otherwise how would I be living at home with them and working this full-time job at a prestigious organization.

And it really hit me. The kind of life I want to live and the kind of life my parents want me to live are diametrically opposed.

And I've lost my chance of leading the life I wanted. I'm stuck here. Living with my folks, working a shit job that's slowly killing me. One day I'll be arranged married to some poor woman who won't like me or even understand me at all but it won't matter because her real duties will be to cook and clean. And I'll have to occasionally impregnate her and bring children into this world who I'll have to frequently beat with slippers and belts (because that's Indian parenting) so that they do well academically and become doctors and engineers before I force them into arranged marriages with strangers.

And I've been crying all morning, but the good news is that I can start smoking again because I think getting lung cancer will be a mercy.

[monsterfuckermilligan]

i am not anti sam but i sometimes find myself hating sam because some samgirls are super into bio/gender essentialism whether or not they realize it. sam is a woman and dean is a man and sam is the victim and dean is his abuser like what show are you watching?

[francesderwent]

so I heard you wanna talk religion in ttpd! let’s talk I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can).

“they shake their heads saying ‘God help her’ when I tell ‘em he’s my man.” this isn’t the outright controlling judgment of the saboteurs in But Daddy I Love Him. nobody is trying to tell her what to do or force her to break up. this is a simple admission that the situation she’s in is difficult, that she’s chosen a hard path and needs help. and what is her response? “your good Lord doesn’t need to lift a finger, I can fix him, no really I can.” she admits salvation is needed. but Taylor is casting herself as the savior. she doesn’t need any help, any grace, any divine assistance. in fact, she doubles down: “only I can”. she and she alone has the power to reform this man, because of the love between them. it’s reminiscent of False God, except now the idol isn’t their love, it’s just her. she’s going to save him.

what’s interesting to me is we don’t know how the themes of salvation would have been recapitulated in light of the reversal at the end of the song, “whoa maybe I can’t”, because the song ends there. maybe she can’t fix him because he is ultimately unfixable, irredeemable, worthless. or maybe she can’t fix him because she’s not God. and honestly, I think the song is meant to leave us wondering. she’s waking up to reality, but is the reality his smallness of soul or her power trip?

so what is the blatant Christian language in this song for? is it telling us that Christianity is evil for implanting the idea of redemption into our minds when it doesn’t really exist? or is it a hint that trying to become our own gods, even with the best of intentions, is a pathway that leads only to death?

[lungfuls]

like, on a day-to-day basis, am i denying sympathy or love to the men in my life? no, not at all. the fact that they hold power over me doesn't change the fact that i experience relationships with them as human-human relationships. unfortunately, that does mean that i've often overlooked times when they denied *me* sympathy or love, usually because i was overreacting or something like that, i.e., misogynist stereotypes (it's been shown that people, but especially men, have a lower tolerance for emotional behavior from women than men). like. why can't we talk about the fact that men are doing better than women by most metrics, and where they aren't, they need to take responsibility for the damage they're doing to themselves and each other? why does that have to be women's responsibility? sexism. sexism is why

[intoxicatinginsanity]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but men really need to stop using women as a stand in for their moms. Heal your goddamn mother wounds, assign that responsibility to yourself and not to your crushes, girlfriends, and wives. Fucking go to therapy, thanks!

[boof-chamber]

toxic masculinity

that shit’s exhausting and infuriating and scary and there is no end in sight - seems like we gotta be fit and agile street fighters, have expert marksmanship, highly developed senses and 6th senses and 7th senses and also an acute sense of awareness of our surroundings and self-awareness and also an acute sense of perception of other people’s intentions and moods and feelings and we should also be armed with information about people’s backgrounds and patterns of behavior and also use sound judgement at all times so that we can take appropriate action to prevent harm from coming to us because it’s nobody else’s responsibility to look out for us, how entitled one would be to expect anyone to intervene who isn’t even legally obligated to, and as it turns out, no one is.

we could have all of this going for us and still end up dealing with the consequences of some toxic dude’s massive sense of entitlement or overinflated ego or feelings of inadequacy or power/control issues or the absolutely crushing and inescapable aloneness that overwhelms him as a man conditioned to destroy his own humanness and anything that resembles it.

and what do we expect of him? we expect him to “get therapy.” suddenly therapists fix people. suddenly therapy is easy to get. suddenly therapy is something other than what we know it to be. all they have to do is get therapy and toxic masculinity will be solved and we won’t have to do anything differently. we won’t have to learn anything or unlearn anything or grow or develop or transform ourselves or our communities or society - when the therapists fix them, everything will change and we won’t have to do anything differently

[zindagi-jhandwa-firbhi-ghamandwa]

My best friend just told me that maybe if I found a girl and got married, I'd find happiness.

I feel so betrayed because I always thought he knew I'd rather die alone than be trapped in a marriage but also because he said this on March 17, two days after "Best Friend Betrayal Day" 🤨😒😔😐😮‍💨😑😶

[constantvariations]

Probably one of the worst aspects of the Abusive Adam subplot is how it’s a deeply ignorant person’s idea of what an abuser looks like

To quote Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? Into the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men:

An abuser is a human being, not an evil monster... The common view of abusive men as evil, calculating brutes can make it difficult for a woman to recognize her partner’s problem... She doesn’t realize that he can have all these positive qualities and still have an abuse problem.

They don’t pop out the gate screaming and swinging, like Adam did at Beacon. Abusers know how to be charming, how to play to the crowd, how to twist someone’s reality until they don’t know which way is up. Lots of folk don’t even realize they’re being abused because they’ve been so thoroughly convinced that the problem lies with them rather than their partner. What else are they supposed to think when their partner is so kind and generous and loving to everyone but them?

By writing Adam as a purely evil monster with no redeeming qualities, ShawLuna are contributing to the misconceptions surrounding abuse, making it harder for people to understand their situations or be able to recognize when someone they love is in trouble

If you want to read more of the book, which I highly recommend, here’s a link to an online copy. You can also download it as a free pdf

[agnesandhilda]

blue lock wouldn't exist if ego jinpachi weren't a misogynist. and I stand by that

[adhderall]

well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

[mamawasatesttube]

theres a lot wrong with kryptonian society and culture but i gotta say they did at least one thing right and its the capes. everyone just wears capes, all the time. we could learn from them

[isawthismeme]

[pandaemoanium]

wow the legend of dragoon has not aged very well lmao, the gameplay is really damn good but the writing makes me go 😬😬😬 like half the time

[envolvenuances]

as the masculine woman who wasn't allowed to use the girl's bathroom in school and to this day have straight women prefer to stand than sit next to me at the bus or question if it's "appropriate" to have me in school staff teaching teenagers. the only "gaslighting" in this is the pretense that it is either a new phenomena or increasing because of The Trans Question being divisive in current gringo politics. when it's classic lesbophobia that always existed and honestly if you ask me things have been improving. but then I do feel like transphobia itself is a restriction of homo/lesbophobia against the mostly visibly gender non conforming of us.

[urmomsfavelesbian]

i never know i’m cooked more than when i’m watching funny girls do skits as guys and absolutely losing my mind 😔 giggling and blushing at my screen 😔