#they enable each other and they don’t grow because they can’t because there’s always something else BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH BEING ABUSED BY GOD

[monsterfuckermilligan]

i am not anti sam but i sometimes find myself hating sam because some samgirls are super into bio/gender essentialism whether or not they realize it. sam is a woman and dean is a man and sam is the victim and dean is his abuser like what show are you watching?

[jeanbie]

Can you do headcannons for Levi x reader where he finds out his s/o is pregnant and how he is finding out, and during the pregnancy and birth? Thank you!

EXPECTING FATHER! LEVI ★ masterlist.

warnings: season 4 spoilers, read at your own risk

⏤ help i'm weak.....need dad levi pls.....

i think levi’s reactions to pregnancy would be super different depending on which timeframe we’re in

if it’s pre season 4, i can imagine levi being really anxious about the pregnancy due to the nature of his work (and if his partner is also a soldier, then everything becomes more complicated and scary) ((this au is pre season 4, because i feel like post season 4, he'll just be like any other relieved expecting father))

levi tries his best at work but there’s never a guarantee that he will make it back alive

and pregnancy is scary too, he’s worried that things might go wrong during the birth, and he’s not exactly in the best position to raise a child alone

he doesn’t want his future kids to have an upbringing the same way he did, without parents who can put in 100%

he misses his mom a lot and wished that he had a dad, so it’s important to him that his kid has a good childhood and grows up knowing that they’re loved

because levi would never even be unsafe during sex with someone he didn’t love truly, he’s comfortable going forward with the pregnancy with his partner and just doing his best with extreme caution and preparation

his reaction is pretty neutral, although inside there’s a lot going on, but voicing any of it wouldn’t be helpful for his partner, who is probably just as freaked out, as i can’t imagine either levi or the partner being toooo happy about the pregnancy since the timing is awful

but still, they will try because it happened, and they love each other

(also i doubt that abortion is safe in this period of time, and even if it was common and unsafe, i can’t see either of them wanting to take the risk of death?)

if his partner is a soldier, then it doesn’t matter who they were or what rank they had, they would absolutely be withdrawn from their duties beyond the wall

he might somehow get it cleared that they’re allowed to do in-wall duties like office work or overseeing recruits, doing the admin or counselling work, just keeping it down to earth with the recruits and lower ranks, but doing field work is pretty much forbidden for his partner

levi will pour himself into his office work for a while as a distraction, and he realises he can’t be too reckless beyond the wall, no matter how good he knows he can be

i’ve never thought that levi, outside of the field, is an unkind person, and actually he’s very gentle just with difficulties voicing his feelings due to never being told it was an ok thing to do as a child

that being said, he’s very attentive to his partner and will do anything if it means enabling them a smooth pregnancy experience

there’s no doctors that can do like scans or anything, so he always feels nervous that something might be wrong that they don’t know about

and now that dr yeager is gone and the military doctors aren’t exactly prepared or well versed on childbirth, everything just feels scary

i can see him going to experienced soldiers who have families and asking for advice, and for once is very appreciative of hange’s intrusiveness as they are always a second helping hand should his partner need anything that he can’t easily give

the scouts are a family and they all understand the fragileness of this pregnancy, so they know to be careful and kind and thoughtful, and generally they are

but i can see levi bringing his emotions home sometimes and that can be bad for the pregnancy, so he’s not a perfect partner 100% of the time

he can close off when his partner needs him because he’s so stressed and overwhelmed, but doesn’t want to negatively impact his relationship (but in closing off, he does this to himself)

but in general, i can’t see levi being unloving or unkind, and actually even the other soldiers have said that this pregnancy has made levi a tad bit kinder to the other soldiers

not that he’s ever mean, because he’s just direct which can sometimes be read as mean, but now he’s a lot more careful with what he says and he’s always inquisitive where it can get him help and info

when his partner goes into labour, he’s lucky that it’s early hours of a random week and not a week where they’re beyond the wall doing field work

he had thought a lot about labour and for a while didn’t know if he wanted to be in the room

what if his son or daughter comes out and doesn’t make it? what if his partner doesn’t make it? what if they BOTH don’t make it?

erwin told him to think about what if they both made it and he missed everything, and eventually he decided to be present in the room

he also asked for erwin to be there, which is partner didn’t seem to mind, because if things did go sour, he’d need that brother figure or else he’d die too

as expected though, everything goes fine

he’s very surprised by the amount of blood and fluids and just how intense everything is

he already respected his partner but watching them give birth just kind of transcends his respect for them

i can see him being the father who doesn’t want to leave the room ever

he always wants to be near his partner and baby, wants to hold them, wants to watch them sleep and eat and wriggle around

he definitely won’t feel comfortable with his partner returning to field work after delivery, so if they were a soldier, then they’re unfortunately being retired exclusively to the HQ to do admin work

when all of this is over, he wants to retire and live in a little cottage with trees and flowers 

(unfortunately there will be bumps in the road to get there, but even in his wheelchair and aged bones, he can still have his cottage with his child, partner and adopted murder warriors)

[saintsenara]

☯️ 🕯️ for the writer asks!

thank you for the ask, anon!

🕯️ was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

i was expecting when writing everlasting ink that it would make me think differently about harry and ginny - i wrote it because i was growing increasingly irritated by a tendency in some of the fandom spaces i inhabit to act like writing things outside of your usual preferences is particularly difficult, when my personal opinion is that this is something all of us should actively do, since it helps to make our characters more well-rounded if we have to examine the aspects of them which fans of other ships/eras/genres etc. tend to emphasise - but i wasn’t expecting it to make me think so much about molly weasley.

i’ve always backed molly - and, in particular, i’ll die on the hill that she’s in the right in the argument with sirius in order of the phoenix - but i didn’t really stop to think until i wrote everlasting ink about how lonely she must be, and how her loneliness is directly connected to how she’s set up within the narrative of the harry potter series as a pretty ideal mother. the impact of grief on that loneliness must be astonishing, but - as @whinlatter notes - virtually nobody in the fandom cares about molly’s grief. there is such a tendency to have her get back to hustling and bustling after the war - and, in particular, a tendency for her relationship with harry to be taken as subsuming her horror at the loss of fred. having thought about this for everlasting ink, molly’s post-war life certainly now looks very different in my mind, and i am ready to fight her haters.

☯️ how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? how do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

i am a very social person, so i can’t speak to the latter part of the question, but i think that a reciprocity in fandom is important because it’s the best example to all of us that this is a hobby. i’ve said a lot elsewhere that i think one of the most crucial things we can all do is have a little bit of perspective about the fact that this is something we do for fun - if you’re regularly in tears over comments, or if meeting your upload schedule is making you ill, or if you’re writing the stories you think you should write rather than the ones you want to, that’s not good.

the act of screaming with other people about fictional characters should be enjoyable - that’s what fandom spaces like tumblr and discord provide, and that’s what writing and publishing fics enables. we should all work hard to keep that lightness-of-touch to our fandom life - which, crucially, doesn’t mean that we have to only engage with ‘light’ topics or discussions, it just means that we have to recognise that this is a leisure activity rather than something life-or-death.

how? be nice to the people whose work you comment on. be nice to the people who comment on your work (the vast majority of ‘mean’ comments are just things which are poorly-phrased, and if you give commenters the benefit of the doubt you will often find that you can end up having a productive discussion). block and move on when someone is genuinely out of line - arguing will solve nothing. kill the cop in your head and don’t police people’s work - just don’t engage if you don’t like it. step outside of your comfort zone whenever you feel you can. don’t obsess over your stats. get a grip on yourself if you feel yourself becoming convinced you’re some sort of celebrity just because people read your harry potter fan-fiction. have a sense of humour. log off when you need to. and write exactly what you want because you want to, critics be damned!

[the-travelling-witch]

Hi Holly! How are you hun?

For the self ship game 💕 and 💔 for you and Belphie (Obey Me) and Xiao (Genshin)

i’m doing okay, trying not to get life get to me, so same old really; what about you? <3

💕: Who’s the clingier one in the relationship?

Xiao

[answered here]

Is it a surprise to anyone if I say Belphie? No, it’s not? Well there’s your answer haha. But for real, Belphie’s one hell of a clingy demon, his sin and being the youngest of his brothers enabling him; not that I mind though, I’m welcoming the physical affection with open arms literally

Most of the time, he’s asleep; I know, another shocker. Even if we start up awake, just cuddling while watching a movie or talking, it’s never too long until he drifts off. He really fights it at times, trying desperately to stay awake and not succumb to the pull of sloth but he’s fighting a losing battle. With me running my fingers through his hair, the rhythmic rise and fall of my chest and my steady heartbeat as a lullaby, Belphie is out like a light before you can say pillow. (“Do I look like a body pillow to you?” - “Mhm, the comfiest one.”). But it’s okay, he’s really cute dozing off like that and being all comfy with him usually sends me right into a much needed nap as well (Belphie, the weighted blanket demon ^^).

“You really need to sleep more. Come here and nap with me.”

“Sure sure, I’ll be right there.”

But his clinginess doesn’t just pertain to cuddling and napping. Belphie has the tendency to just lean on me (and drape his entire weight onto me) when we’re standing somewhere or sit as close to me as possible when given the chance. If we’re out and about he’s also prone to wrapping his arm around my waist, leaning his head on my shoulder, hugging me from behind or holding hands.

“You’re pretty big on pda, I was really surprised. Any reason for that?”

“No reason” *glares at a demon over my shoulder*

[this is where we proceed into jealous! belphie territory]

💔: Is it hard being away from each other?

Well it’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder but my heart is already plenty fond, so no absence please >///<

I do think it depends on the kind of absence it is; could we come see each other when we want to or are we separated not by choice? Because I think getting a bit of distance every now and then and giving each other space regularly is important; i wouldn’t want to suffocate my partner after all <3 But if it’s not up to us, it’s a different story—

Xiao is used to being alone and so am I tbh, so you might think we’d do well being apart from one another and to a certain degree we are. But now that we have had a taste of affection and all the (physical) comfort that comes from it, being denied that is like being thrown into cold water. So while we’re okay on a surface level, we still feel like something’s missing. At least, we have to know that the other is doing okay, if nothing else.

“Today I found a wild glaze lily blooming near the inn. I wish I could have shown it to you.”

“Let’s check it out once I’m back.”

Belphie… is playing the role of the youngest brother once more. If asked about it, he’s not going to reveal his full annoyance about me being back in the human realm but he’s huffing every other second and pouting basically all the time. On more than one night he’s sent me messages about how he can’t fall asleep without me and I’m always there to reply right away because I can’t either; once you get used to a deadweight lying on you, there’s no going to sleep without it. But talking on the phone helps lessen the heartache a little (I don’t want to count how often we fell asleep on call and I woke up to my phone being dead). But being a witch and all, a summoning spell solves a lot of problems.~

“Next time warn me before summoning me out of the blue.”

“You literally just whined my ear off about how you can’t sleep; we both know you’re super pleased with this situation.”

[self-ship ask game]

[jdgo51]

Practicing Boundaries: Love vs Enabling

Today's inspiration comes from:

Boundaries

by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

"We all want to care and help those in need. But how do you know when you are being loving with someone, or are actually enabling them? When you are faced with a request for your time, energy or money, how do you know if the right response is to say “yes” and provide it, or “no” and decline?

The Bible teaches, over and over again, that we are to help others:

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. — Hebrews 13:16

We are designed to love others in word and deed. Also, for most of us, it’s much easier to say “yes” than “no”, for a number of reasons:

We feel compassion for the person’s struggle We remember our own difficult situations We don’t want them to feel disappointed and discouraged We wonder if God has placed us in their life for this situation We think we may be the only solution for them

At the same time, however, our provision for someone can actually make the situation worse for them, because we may be preventing them from experiencing some consequence for their behaviors, and not learning to change how they operate in life. This is the process of God’s disciplining us, so that we grow up and mature:

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. — Hebrews 12:7

The process of experiencing consequences is key:

A child in a 5-minute time out begs to get out in 3 minutes A teen asks not to be grounded for bad grades A friend who has had several failing jobs asks for a loan A spouse with a drinking problem asks their spouse to give them one more chance before requiring counseling In all of these examples, it’s unsure what the right thing to do might be. There is just not enough information here. So back to the question: how to tell if you’re being loving, or if you’re enabling? Here are 5 questions to ask yourself as a sort of filter, and you will find the answer to the issue when you engage with them. You will probably answer some as a “yes” and some as a “no”, and don’t worry that the answers for all agree. You’ll see the balance to help your decision.

#1. Are they unable?

We are called to have compassion and help those who have not, and also can not. They simply do not have the capability or resources to solve their problem. For example, a tribe in a developing country has no water wells. Or a homeless man has nowhere to sleep but under a freeway. Or a young businesswoman needs a mentor to help her grow in her leadership. We all are to be mindful to carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. — Galatians 6:2

However, to be unable is very different than to be unwilling. Something may be difficult or inconvenient, and that’s just life. For example, a young adult who is living at home and doesn’t want to work, go to school, or do house chores, is more unwilling than unable.

How do you know when you are being loving with someone, or are actually enabling them?

#2. Are you resourced:

Do you possess what the person is asking for? That might include the finances, or the time, or energy required. So often, I see people giving what they can’t afford to give, and then not being able to meet the demands of their lives. I have had to work with pastors whose families suffered because while Dad was helping everyone in the church, he wasn’t around to be a parent and husband. Here are some sobering words:

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. — 1 Timothy 5:8

We need to make sure we are resourcing ourselves for the priorities we have been tasked to do.

There is certainly always a case for sacrificial giving, as in the example of the woman who gave her last two coins (Mark 12:41-44). So pray, and make sure you consider if the sacrifice is one that God has surely called you to do.

#3. Do they have skin in the game?

In other words, are they also putting significant effort into solving the problem? This might involve going to job interviews, starting one’s own microbusiness, putting a small percentage of money into an initiative and doing homework after a coaching session:

The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat. — 2 Thessalonians 3:10

When a person who is struggling simply receives that help passively, it tends to foster increased passivity and what psychologists call “learned helplessness.” Learned helplessness is a sense that we don’t have choices that matter, so we simply give up and don’t take initiative or agency to solve our challenges. But when our efforts are part of the solution, we are strengthened and grow.

#4. Will you feel cheerful or will you feel reluctant or under compulsion?

This question is based on Paul’s words about giving:

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. — 2 Corinthians 9:7

Our emotions provide information for us. If we feel cheerful, then that’s a sign that you are happy you made a good choice. If we feel reluctant (grudging) or under compulsion (guilt-ridden), that’s a sign that you might need to rethink all of this.

#5. Is the outcome gratitude and autonomy, or entitlement and dependency?

This last question is based on your history with the person. What have been the results of your providing for them? Are they thankful and able to bear their burdens more? That’s a good thing, and a positive sign that you may be doing the right thing. Or do they become entitled and demanding for more of your resource, and is their dependency on you increased? Not a good sign. Pay attention to the outcomes, or the fruit:

A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. — Matthew 7:18

If you have no giving history with the person, ask others who know them for their feedback.

Use these questions to clarify what the loving, but not enabling, path should be for yourself in your situation. Be sure to pray and ask safe friends what they think.

Finally, finally finally: if, after you have used this system, it’s still murky, and you’re unsure, then it might be best, in this particular situation, to default to grace. It’s always the best place to be."'

Written for Devotionals Daily by Dr. John Townsend, author with Henry Cloud of Boundaries.

[monstermaster13]

Corey and Oats in..

Search For The Ideal Sitter.

--------------------------------------------------------

When it comes to helping others the microbes know just what to do, especially Corey and Oats, they always had an arrangement with Zara and that arrangement enabled Corey to have a purpose, and that was to look after the others and take care of some of Zara’s friends but sometimes Zara altered that arrangement and twisted words around to make it seem like she acted like she didn’t want to do this, and the whole other issue was Zara’s mother, this woman very much was only okay with some things but held such a tight grip on Zara that she controlled her and made her obey every little thing she said, like she was a puppet on a string and a parrot who only repeated what she was told.

This was concerning to Corey and Oats especially because they wanted her to be independent too like the helpers but she was stuck under the tyrannical clutches of her mother. One afternoon Corey and Oats ran over to her mom. ‘Something is very wrong here, you tell us that your mother doesn’t let you babysit my friends yet we didn’t get a confirmation from this. Is she trying to alter the agreement?’ ‘Well uh…my mom says that.’ ‘Do you have to do everything that woman says?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘But she is cruel, dictator-ian and controlling, she loves you, yes but she wants to make sure you and Mel are as far as away from each-other as possible.’

“But she is my mom and I must obey her.”

‘Oh you use that as your excuse for everything, remember when you threw that horse at me?’ Corey added. ‘Does your mother tell you to act whiny or are you just always grouchy because you need medication?’ ‘I am not grumpy, it’s just Mel never listens.’ ‘And why should Mel listen to you just because you think she should listen to what you think your mom said to you?’

“Because…”

‘You cannot think of a good response? I am sorry but admit it, you are a parrot that repeats everything your mother says, it’s cute when you try to mimic what I say but it’s sad when your parrot is your mother like that.’ ‘Huh?’ Just as Corey said that, Zara started growing feathers all over her body as she grew a pair of feathery wings of different colors as her feet shifted to become bird-like talons.

“What is happening?”

“Welcome to our world, Zara. Whenever you act a certain way your form will change to teach you a lesson.”

‘So i’m turning into a bird?’ ‘Yes…a parrot to be precise.’ Zara squirmed a little bit as her facial features fused and hardened, roughening and turning into a beak like that of a bird, she could still talk though and didn’t lose her teeth and tongue. ‘Because you parrot what your mother tells you.’

“What? No, i’m just doing as she says.”

‘Like a good parrot, that’s what you are.’ Corey didn’t like having to tell off and tease anyone, true…he was a microbe leader who had his own set of rules. He looked over at Zara as a huge sign that said ‘Momma’s Girl’ popped up behind her, followed by taunt and jeers, she finally decided on not listening to her mother anymore. ‘You know what? You’re right, I am sorry for acting like this, can you accept my apology?’

‘Fine…we accept your apology, but we need to find another alternative to having someone look after our friends in the house since you claim your mother won’t let them sleepover in that bedroom of yours.’ ‘Well I don’t know, it’s my mom.’

“I can help with that…”

Corey picked up Zara’s phone and disguised his voice, he called up Zara’s mother and asked her to change the arrangement back to what it was before. ‘Now did you actually say that she couldn’t have my friends in her room or that she couldn’t babysit them in general?’ ‘Well I said the lounge or the table but not her bedroom.’ ‘So she lied to us?’ ‘Yes, she did.’ ‘And you didn’t pick up on the fact she was lying?’ ‘Well I am sorry, it’s just I am not good at picking up when she is lying and when she is not.’

He turned the phone off and sighed…’So what do we do?’ ‘We can’t just leave our friends unprotected at the house,what if someone tries to rob the house?’ ‘But we cannot leave them with Zara anymore, we can’t trust her, she is too aggressive and volatile.’ ‘Well what do we do? We need a new babysitter.’

“Like what? Do you know where on earth we could find new babysitters?”

“Maybe..Mel, would you mind helping?”

‘Of course not..’ Mel showed Corey and Oats to the bedroom where she showed them a magical portal which took them to a special application room. In the application room the duo and Mel sat down and auditioned several people and creatures for babysitter material.

The first babysitter they auditioned was a demon horse, but she terrified Oats. ‘I don’t like this one, she’s scary.’ The second babysitter was a koala which Mel liked, but she worried that she wouldn’t be able to do tasks. The third babysitter was a robot babysitter programmed to love unconditionally, which went well until she saw a mess on the floor and short circuited.

They went through several baby-sitters until they found they liked…she was just as loving as the others, and she was even able to be all sorts of creatures. ‘Let’s hire this one.’ ‘Good idea.’ So they hired the shapeshifter babysitter.

The next step was finding a place to drop their friends off, they couldn’t pick Zara’s room anymore so they had to find other places, the first place they tried was a futuristic playroom, but the sounds of the Daleks rolling down the hallway yelling their trademark yells of ‘EXTERMINATE’ scared the unicorns. The second place they tried to drop them off in a forest playhouse, which they liked…up until it got dark, then Prince Whinius whinnied in fear when he saw the eyes that were seemingly following him.

The third place they tried was an underwater cave, but the unicorns Prince Whinnius and Fantasmo didn’t find it comfortable because they couldn’t breathe underwater. ‘What are we going to do? None of these places are the right place to drop off our friends.’ ‘I know, let’s get back to the bedroom, then we’ll think of something.’

“That’s a good idea.”

The duo and Mel along with the unicorns headed back through the portal and arrived back at Nile Road, once there they arrived at the bedroom and began to formulate a plan. ‘Hmmm..where can we drop our equine friends off?’ ‘I don’t know…we cannot leave them on their own.’ ‘Hmmm…I know, maybe there’s a place we can go.’

That’s when Corey got an idea…’The staff room, the bedroom there is perfect and they can have their own bedtime adventures while in there, and it’s not like the toybox isn’t an option either.’ ‘Yeah, the lounge is totally not off-limits so Zara won’t have to be involved until we work around a solution for this problem.’

“That’s a smart idea.”

Corey and Oats raced off to the staff-room, taking Fantasmo, Melby the koala, Prince Whinnius, and Trump Cat with them and dropping them off in the staff-room. ‘Alright guys, I know this isn’t ideal for you and I know Zara is your favorite babysitter but we cannot get her to do it anymore so you will have to live here while we are gone, be on your best behavior now.’ ‘We will, thank you.’

“That was a rather smart solution to the problem.”

‘Yeah, we didn’t have to resort to punishing Zara’s mother or anything. I mean we could have told her to stop controlling her daughter and to stop badgering her, but you know she probably just heard that from where she was and probably is..well you know.’ Which was true…Zara’s mother was still on the phone trying to contact Corey back to make an apology for her demanding behavior when she started turning into a humanoid badger.

“Don’t worry, you both can turn back to normal.”

A couple of seconds later Zara and her mother turned back to normal form, and they both apologized. Zara had fully realized that she didn’t need to always do what her mom said, and Zara’s mother realized that she didn’t need to order around her daughter so much. And thus with that the duo smiled as they went back to their own bedroom before setting things up.

It was Friday after all and their owner ‘Jill’ was going to pick them up after dinner and they all rallied up all the microbes and their friends from their home and got them to hop in the green bag as they had a good time.

They made amends with Zara and finally decided to re-hire her as their babysitter, as they dropped off their friends and Trump-cat in Zara’s room. And thus on that note, their little search had come to an end.

Even though this adventure has ended, there are more to come, stay tuned for ‘Corey and Oats’s Galactic Journey’ ‘Cinnamon: Princess of the Flowery Forest’ several new specials, and ‘Return to Weta Workshop’.

[sirowsky]

Chapter 7 - A Monster is Born

Description: In your final moments as a human, you find answers about yourself and your kind that only the fire that you've been holding back almost all your life, can reveal. (Dual perspectives)

OBSERVE! Creator chooses NOT to include warnings on this series. Read at your own risk! Be aware that this story will include violence and is not suitable for minors! 18+ONLY.

Word Count: 2770 Masterlist (This Story) Author’s Masterlist

Link to Chapter 8

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   You don’t know when it happened. When he went from being the human you feared more than any other in the galaxy, to the one most important person in your life.    But he is.    Seeing him fall breaks parts of you that you never knew existed. So, when the flame roars to life, it isn’t the feeling you know anymore. It’s not the Burn, or at least, not any embodiment of it that you’ve felt before.

   Pain and sorrow are tearing through you with a forcefulness that scares you, but nowhere near as much as the thought of this kind and warm-hearted man dying, scares you.    Because this isn’t rage. Not one ounce of it. It’s all fear and agony and you can’t stop it.

   The pain of the transformation is lost in the heartache, but you can still feel it happen. How your organs completely burn through this time, melting to join the churning mass that is every demon’s lifeblood.    How your skin is suddenly just gone, and the fire is finally set free, burning so hot that even your bones are turned soft and pliant.

   You feel how your spine shifts and stretches, forcing you down onto your arms and changing the angle of your shoulders so that they’re more suitable for legs.    Your hands grow and thicken, turning into paws and your nails to claws. Your ears melted away with your skin but are reformed as bony protrusions when your skull changes shape, elongating to accommodate a much bigger mouth and teeth.

   And all through these changes, your mind is dying.    Each millisecond erases more and more of Pan, until you can’t even remember where the nickname comes from, and then not even the name itself.

   But in the midst of all this, something inside yourself is sparking to life. Something that was always there but never within your conscious reach.    Other memories, from a life that isn’t yours.    You can see the battles of the past as if you were among those fighting. You remember places where you’ve never been, people you’ve never met, cities that burned ages ago.

   What you see is your mother. The few images that had somehow made it through the barrier between you and the demon aren’t what you thought.    You never watched your mother die, those memories belonged to her. It was she who watched her mother die at the hands of men.

   Then more recent things become visible to you. You can see her struggle on her own, frightened by shadows as though every evil in the world was after her.    But despite her fear, you can see the painstakingly slow process as she taught herself to dampen her flame so that her body wouldn’t glow, enabling her to sneak into the city to hide you.

   It was her. She was alive thirty years ago, but the only one that saw her was Alio.    The old woman was trapped under the small bridge where your mother meant to leave you, so badly wounded that she couldn’t even speak, probably only minutes from death.    But using the flame in her heart, your mother somehow managed to heal the woman’s injuries, and in return, Alio offered to take you.

   That was how she knew all along what you are. She knew what she risked unleashing by giving you a life among the last humans on this planet, but she took that risk willingly, because your mother showed her that violence isn’t the only thing your kind is capable of.    You have always remembered your real name, but you never knew that it actually means something more.

   Your mother gave you the name Somniera, an ancient human word for peacefulness, because she was trying to unite the people, to end the war, once and for all.    She left you in the hands of a woman she had only just met, in the blind hope that you would be spared. Then she snuck out of the city and died shortly after, from an unknown illness that sometimes afflicts your kind.

   Through her memories, you know that she lived through each of the five wars of Pagwu, but refused to take part in the final massacre.    She was strong and brave, and it pains you to only learn this now, moments before your own mind is lost.

   You still remember him, though. The man that has so deeply affected your heart that it doesn’t matter what happens to your brain. You don’t know his name, but you feel his body being consumed by your flame, and you won’t allow it to harm him.    Whatever it is that you’re becoming, however monstrous your beast is, you need to believe that you can still exist, somewhere in the depths of that being.

   Otherwise, what was the point of being born human in the first place? What is the purpose of this evolution, if not to build a connection?    You want to believe that it’s possible. And that’s the last thought that you are aware of having, before Pan fades away, and the flame erupts.

<><><><><><><> 

   The sound is immense. So loud that it pushes against his chest as the fire surges up through the keep in seemingly endless amounts.    The light is so bright that it hurts his eyes even though they’re pinched shut behind a shielding visor. And the heat seems to sear his very bones.    But the only pain that bothers him is the one inside his heart, knowing that this is you. That all this fire has somehow been inside you your entire life.

   He doesn’t know if he’s still in one piece. Everything hurts, which would suggest that he hasn’t melted at least, but he tries not to think about that.    There’s a red hot, sharp pain in his side where Bakol stabbed him, as though the flames are reaching in through his skin. And given that there are two holes into his body, that is actually entirely possible. But it doesn’t matter much.

   When everything suddenly stops, the silence becomes frightening, because it feels like he’s gone deaf. And the darkness is so thick that he could just as easily be blind.    He never felt himself move or be moved, but now that the fire has subsided, he can feel a wall pressed against his back, and it’s tremendously reassuring. Even if his sight and hearing really is lost, reality still hasn’t gone anywhere, at least.

   Then it occurs to him that it might just be the visor on his helmet that is damaged, causing the total darkness, so he pulls it off. It’s still very dark, but he can distinguish shifts in the nuances of the rocks, and when he tilts his head back to look up at the mouth of the well, there is still light up there.    He’s going to have to try and find a way up, but the lift is just a melted block of metal now, and his jetpack is still locked inside the ship.

   He gets up to see if he can find anything useful around, but then stops himself when he discovers that the movement causes him no pain at all. Not anywhere, not even in his lung.    Confused, he tries poking himself on the spots where the knife had punctured his body, only to feel no discomfort at all, nor does he find any fresh blood.    It’s as if the damage never happened.

   He shouldn’t be alive. Not when so much fire has flooded the small space at the bottom of the keep, and especially when everything else seems to have been destroyed.    But his thoughts are brought to an abrupt halt when something moves to his left, at the centre of the bottom floor. Where you stood chained before.    Slowly, he turns his head, already knowing what he’ll find, but needing to see it anyway.

   It glows so faintly that he can only just make it out, but there’s no mistaking it.    Hunched, trembling from tip to toe, and breathing deeply enough that Din can finally be certain that he’s not deaf, the demon stands atop the melted iron that was Pan’s shackles.    He has never seen one with his own eyes before, but now he understands why people have and always will fear these beings above all others.

   It’s hard to tell if it’s made of bone or flesh or perhaps rock. Everything about its structure seems impossible.    The skeleton appears to sit on the outside, but not to hold the softer, more fragile organs safe. Instead, it’s as though the insides have pushed the bones out, to keep them from melting within the heated chest, creating a thing that just looks… wrong.

   It has no skin, just a black crust that clings to the bones and what little flesh remains on its legs. There’s no tongue between its powerful jaws and large teeth, as heat is all that comes from its throat.    The claws are black, glinting against the mild radiance from the creature’s chest as if they were polished, each one easily longer than his fingers.  

   While he watches it, the demon seems to recover its strength. It stops trembling and raises its head, looking around with dimly glowing eyes, unusually large for a predator.    He tries to stay perfectly still, but it locates him instantly, and a low rumbling sound comes from somewhere deep in its chest.

   He has no weapons, although the beskar knife the King had attempted to make him use might still be intact, if he can find it. Otherwise, only his armour will serve as any aid to help him survive.    It’s not that the creature’s skin is especially tough, really, but more that it can melt pretty much all other weapons on impact, including bullets and pulse-charges. Also, it can very effectively heal itself from almost any injury.

   But even though he knows how much danger he’s in, he doesn’t move, and it’s not fear that holds him in place.    It’s hope. Even now.    He watches and studies as the demon starts coming towards him, looking for any sign that the human might still be in there.

   It can see much better than him down here, when he can’t use his helmet, and it is many times faster than him, so in truth, whether he moves or not won’t make any difference.    Slowly, the beast advances, its eyes locked on him as its jaws open wider, spilling more heat onto the ground under its feet, stoking its own flame until it begins to glow brighter, giving Din a better view of their surroundings.

   And seeing the charred stones once more makes him baffle at the realization that he’s still alive. Because there is no trace at all of the other humans that were down there with him. Not the King or his guards.    Every cell has been reduced to dust, and yet, the Mandalorian, the sworn enemy of these beings, is unharmed. Even healed, if his sloppy examination earlier is anything to go by.

   The demon is only a few feet from him now, but he still doesn’t move. His heart is racing at the mere sight of the creature, as his body responds to the knowledge that he’s in danger, even though his mind is calm.    It stops just inches away, standing taller than him, but not by much, and holding its head low, ready to strike.

   But it doesn’t.    Din stares into its eyes, seeing nothing but red lights as it stares right back.    And then it’s gone.

   From a standstill, it leaps up onto the wall, jumping from side to side to propel itself up, until all he can see is a small red dot, and then just the normal light that shines down from the opening, as it climbs out at the top.    The moment it left, the air around him went cold, but the walls are still warm from the Burn, so he won’t freeze.

   However, he will need to get out anyway if he wants to survive. And he’s barely even finished that thought when a sound reaches him from above.    He looks up, squinting to try and make out whether he’s actually seeing something moving down towards him, or if it’s his own eyes playing tricks on him.

   A sense of calm settles into his being when he recognizes the jetpack slowing in and landing a few yards in front of him. As though an old friend has come to see him.    Not bothering to wonder how it got out of the ship, he puts it on and wastes no time in getting himself up to the surface.    Once there, though, it all becomes clear.

   He emerges from the keep located at the heart of the palace, thinking that the building would’ve surely suffered damage from all the fire that was pushed up through the well, but being shocked to see that the entire palace is just gone.    And so is everything else.    He lands where the gates to the Royal home used to be, sitting a little higher than the rest of the city, which gives him a panoramic view.

   But there is nothing left. Not one house, shack, road or vehicle. Everything has been consumed by heat and light, until only pebbles and dust remains.    There’s no sign of the demon, and now that he sees the destruction, Din suddenly hopes that you’re no longer there. That you’re no longer aware of anything that happens, because he believes it unlikely that you would ever forgive yourself for this.

   The port has also been annihilated, which is how the jetpack could come and find him. Kept intact by the shielding beskar hull, it’s likely the only thing that survived.      But the obliteration of his and all other ships means that he has no way off the planet, and with no food or water, he won’t survive this place for long.    But he still has cause to hope, because when the smugglers were loading children onto a speeder, it wasn’t facing the city.

   They must’ve had their own landing site, far enough away from Ig’wu that not even Ellom’s keen eyes had been able to spot any transports coming or going. It would explain how they managed to operate right under her nose without leaving any obvious clues.    If he’s lucky, there might be a ship available, or at least communication equipment that still works there.

   Finding it will be a different matter, though. He could try and find the tunnels, hoping that the third one leads to the site, but there’s every chance it only leads to another cache or more likely that the entrance is caved in.    So he’s probably better off searching from the air, even if it will be like looking for a pebble in an ocean.

   The only problem with that is that the jetpack only has a range of about 5 kilometres, and that won’t get him nearly close enough, as he assumes that any hidden landing area will have to be at least ten times as far away. Anything closer than that would’ve left them at risk of being spotted by incoming or departing aircraft from the city.

   All of this is why he now sets off on foot, heading west along the edge of the badlands, hoping that the smugglers will have continued to make good use of the local population’s fear of the treacherous land.

   He must climb down from the rubble left behind by the flame, and occasionally set off little cave-ins where air-pockets have survived underneath a structure.    Here and there, a piece of bone has escaped the most extreme heat, being uncovered when he causes the ground to shift. Those are the only signs left to suggest that this was ever something more than a small mountain of rocks.

   A hundred thousand people, all dead in a single flash.    Even for a demon, that’s destruction of extreme proportions. Din has never heard of any lone monster managing something like that, and certainly not from the bottom of a well, half a mile underground.

   You were remarkably strong even as a human, so it shouldn’t really be that surprising, but it is. It’s astonishing… and devastating.    He knows that your demon is still somewhere in the desert that he now heads into, and he can only hope that if your paths cross again, the beast will still choose not to harm him.    He still believes that you’re not completely lost, and a part of him wishes that he hasn’t seen the last of you.

–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–

Link to Chapter 8

Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging, I’d greatly appreciate it <3

@idreamofboobear @tanzthompson @winter-fox-queen @tiffanyleen @shsoba05 @toomanystoriessolittletime @nolanell @myfavpedrothings @harriedandharassed @bruxasolta @tintinn16 @pedrostories @littlemisspascal @sj-draws00 @gallowsjoker @spishsstuff @little-mrs-morales @bilibiche @gallowsjoker @insomniamamma @thelion-sroar

[edenmemes]

misc poetry sentence starters

❝  one gets so used to one’s own horrors, one forgets how they must seem to other people.  ❞ ❝  you remind me what love lives in this skin.  ❞ ❝  you are the most phantom-like of all; you are a mere dream.  ❞ ❝  i’m not telling you a story so much as a shipwreck—the places floating, finally legible.  ❞ ❝  the world was made so we can find each other in it.  ❞ ❝  the night isn’t dark; the world is dark. stay with me a little longer.  ❞ ❝  i want you desperately. i want your strength and your softness, your hands, all of you.  ❞ ❝  is that too much to expect? that i would name the stars for you?  ❞ ❝  against your cheek my hand is warm and full of tenderness.  ❞ ❝  the world grows green again when you smile.  ❞ ❝  your share of pains would fill a sea.  ❞ ❝  i’m so stuck on the ‘was’ of people.  ❞ ❝  what i love in you is your power of loving, a bit wild, a bit primitive, but absolute.  ❞ ❝  i like figuring you out. you are so human and puzzling.  ❞ ❝  the unwillingness to try is worse than any failure.  ❞ ❝  you wanted happiness. i can’t blame you for that.  ❞ ❝  i did violence to my own heart.  ❞ ❝  i don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth.  ❞ ❝  like a magpie, i am a scavenger of shiny things: fairy tales and dead languages.  ❞ ❝  and here you come with a shield for a heart and a sword for a tongue.  ❞ ❝  you kiss the back of my legs and i want to cry.    only the sun has come this close, only the sun.  ❞ ❝  sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof you’ve been ruined.  ❞ ❝  when will it cease, this monstrous rage of yours?  ❞ ❝  i will plant my hands in the garden. i will grow, i know, i know.  ❞ ❝  i had it all and i want it back again.  ❞ ❝  i don’t care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual.  ❞ ❝  we are two reflections that cross swords with each other.  ❞ ❝  as for me, i am a watercolour. i wash off.  ❞ ❝  do you dare send me away as though you were were waiting for something better?  ❞ ❝  my dear, you are in danger of being burned by your own flame.  ❞ ❝  i am three oceans away from my soul.  ❞ ❝  you, occasionally, glimmer with a light i’ve never seen before. it frightens me.  ❞ ❝  i went to sleep last night so i could see you.  ❞ ❝  even the eyes of gods must adjust to light. even gods have gods.  ❞ ❝  how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?  ❞ ❝  it does me no good to be good to me now.  ❞ ❝  i may look alright, but if you were to look more closely you wouldn’t find a single healthy bit in me.  ❞ ❝  i must clothe myself in other worlds.  ❞ ❝  suffering is the privilege of those who feel.  ❞ ❝  sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine.  ❞ ❝  the vigor, the fire, that enables you to love and create. when you lose that, you’ve lost everything.  ❞ ❝  i can be bold, because i have you with me always.  ❞ ❝  you are shaking fists and trembling teeth. i know: you did not mean to be cruel. that does not mean you were kind.  ❞ ❝  not that i want to be a god or a hero, just to change into a tree,  grow for ages, not hurt anyone.  ❞ ❝  i laughed today. for a second i was unhaunted.  ❞ ❝  you are sunlight through a window, which i stand in, warmed.  ❞ ❝  there’s something electric in your blood.  ❞ ❝  you say you are broken,   but broken mirrors like you create the most beautiful patterns of light.  ❞ ❝  time doesn’t obey our commands.  ❞ ❝  i love you quite passionately, and with a touch of tragedy.  ❞ ❝  to feel anything deranges you. to be seen feeling anything strips you naked.  ❞ ❝  i love you --- like a storm bursts overhead --- i must confess it; all the more fiercely because you burn and bite.  ❞ ❝  and i have seen rivers, not unlike you, that failed to find their way back.  ❞ ❝  i am less a god now that you’ve touched me.  ❞ ❝  your words are gentle; but my blood runs cold to think what plots you may be nursing deep within your heart.  ❞ ❝  you said i killed you --- haunt me then.  ❞ ❝  your soul is frail and solemn, loyal and spring-like.  ❞ ❝  you look like you’ve eaten the sun, like you drank so much sunlight you’re drowning in it.  ❞ ❝  strangeness is a necessary ingredient in beauty.  ❞ ❝  you will hear thunder and remember me.  ❞ ❝  ever think it’s possible for us to be happy?  ❞ ❝  and i would wonder across all the deserts of this world, even after death, to search for you.  ❞ ❝  since we’re bound to be something, why not together?  ❞ ❝  i am ashes were once i was fire.  ❞ ❝  this mouth will destroy you the moment you mistake it for something soft, for something that is yours.  ❞ ❝  it’s no easy thing to bear, the weight of sweetness.  ❞ ❝  kill the light! i’d rather wallow in the dark.  ❞ ❝  i have thought of you often since the darkness.  ❞ ❝  with your presence the sun becomes irrelevant.  ❞ ❝  there is no god left in this skin. there’s just the ash. just the ash.  ❞ ❝  open your eyes, look more sharply, see me as i am.  ❞ ❝  what the hell is tragedy? i am.  ❞ ❝  i’ve got a lot of feeling for you. you’re kind.  ❞ ❝  how beautiful it is, how beautiful, that glow before the stars break.  ❞ ❝  so much to do today: kill memory, kill pain, turn heart into a stone, and yet prepare to live again.  ❞ ❝  i am myself. that is not enough.  ❞ ❝  i may be mad, god-seized, but i will stand outside my madness.  ❞ ❝  my power, which to me is still a curse ---  ❞ ❝  ocean sea with its caressing swell; it has so often cooled my heart.  ❞ ❝  do you bathe in perfume, and dry yourself in light?  ❞ ❝  i like you; your eyes are full of language.  ❞ ❝  let me tell you what i do know.    i am more than one thing and not all of those things are good.  ❞ ❝  you are the cause and the cure --- both.  ❞ ❝  i have kisses for the back of your neck.  ❞ ❝  your beautiful glance is unbearably cruel.  ❞ ❝  we might meet again, someday between dreams at dawn.  ❞ ❝  suffering is a terrible fire; it either purifies or destroys.  ❞ ❝  lately it hurts more to imagine you are a stranger rather than a destroyer.  ❞ ❝  and i say to myself: a moon will rise from my darkness.  ❞ ❝  since you walked out on me, i’m getting lovelier by the hour. i glow like a corpse in the dark.  ❞ ❝  i will not whine. i will obey and be forever still.  ❞ ❝  you move like the moon.  ❞ ❝  my eyes ache with the weight of unshed tears.  ❞ ❝  in your eyes, the fires of twilight.  ❞ ❝  do not haunt my soul; i have done well forgetting you.  ❞ ❝  i am no one. i cannot love. it’s in my blood.  ❞ ❝  you’re wearing your armor to protect your heart. who can blame you? it only makes sense in a world like this one.  ❞ ❝  you are not real. you are a dream of a dream.  ❞ ❝  there are so many things i’m not allowed to tell you.  ❞ ❝  i am indeed a shameless, evil-minded and abominable creature.  ❞ ❝  come this evening --- i am eager for stars.  ❞ ❝  i am on fire with that soft sound you make, in uttering my name.  ❞ ❝  i want you mostly in the morning when my soul is weak from dreaming.  ❞ ❝  to me you are the desert and the sea; everything secretive.  ❞ ❝  i thought i was wounded to the core but i was only bruised.  ❞ ❝  it is a dead heart. it is inside of me. it is a stranger.  ❞ ❝  i live --- but i’m mutilated.  ❞ ❝  if there is a light then i am going to swallow it.    if there is a god then i’m going to make him cry.  ❞ ❝  i am condemned to be a saint or a monster: unable to be the one, unwilling to be the other.  ❞ ❝  you will open your wounds and make them a garden.  ❞ ❝  i come home --- and i feel like a ghost returning its haunt.  ❞ ❝  i planted roses, but without you they were thorns.  ❞ ❝  everything inside me is in revolt.  ❞ ❝  how this darkness soaks me through and through.  ❞ ❝  give me my robe, put on my crown; i have immortal longings in me.  ❞ ❝  say something dangerous like i love you.  ❞ ❝  listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?  ❞ ❝  in times of crisis, we must decide again and again whom we love.  ❞ ❝  breathe the scent of little, earthly things. let the twilight touch you.  ❞ ❝  my heart is just like the ocean, has storm and calm and tides.  ❞ ❝  you became for me a sacred being, not to be touched save in adoring thoughts.  ❞ ❝  gods are stubborn. so am i.  ❞ ❝  is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?  ❞ ❝  there’s something soft in me. i killed it and it’s rotting.  ❞ ❝  beware. beware. there is a tenderness.  ❞ ❝  half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. real gods require blood.  ❞ ❝  i’m alive. like a wound, a flower in the flesh, the path of aching blood is open within me.  ❞ ❝  you dangle on the leash of your own longing; your need grows teeth.  ❞ ❝  i have it in me...to scare myself with my own desert places.  ❞ ❝  my mouth still houses century-old magic.     in my ears i hear a ringing and singing and no god.  ❞ ❝  keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice.  ❞ ❝  i’m full of poetry now. rot and poetry. rotten poetry.  ❞ ❝  this skin is sick with loneliness.  ❞ ❝  memories are sharp. they bite. i have spent most of my life trying to grow a thicker skin just to make sure i would not bleed out whenever i felt those teeth scrape up against me.  ❞ ❝  i wonder if i will ever find a language to speak of the things that haunt me the most.  ❞ ❝  after fury, what do you do with the remains?  ❞ ❝  come on, dance with me. the earth is spinning. we can’t just stand on it.  ❞ ❝  let’s admit, without apology, what we do together.  ❞ ❝  try to find the right place for yourself. if you can’t find it, at least dream of it.  ❞ ❝  it takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations.  ❞ ❝  i am too full of life to be half-loved.  ❞ ❝  today you want nothing because wanting comes too close to feeling.  ❞ ❝  there’s nothing more terrible, more alluring, more mysterious than love.  ❞ ❝  heavenly wine and roses seem to whisper to me when you smile.  ❞ ❝  my soul is devoutly and wholly under your spell.  ❞ ❝  will you see the human in my being?  ❞ ❝  if i had a flower for every time i thought of you…i could walk through my garden forever.  ❞ ❝  part broken part whole, you begin again.  ❞ ❝  i don’t know if love’s a feeling. sometimes i think it’s a matter of seeing. seeing you.  ❞ ❝  i wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness?  ❞ ❝  whether you come as a lover or an exeutioner, i am ready to receive you.  ❞ ❝  i think i understand your longing. it looks so much like mine.  ❞ ❝  i’ve had so many knives stuck into me. when they hand me a flower, i can’t quite make out what it is.  ❞ ❝  i like the sea: we understand one another. it is always yearning, sighing for something it cannot have; so am i.  ❞ ❝  do i not live? badly, i know, but i live.  ❞ ❝  something of you stuck with me. a splinter.  ❞ ❝  i clung to your hands so that something human might exist in the chaos.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i shut my eyes, and shut my heart towards you, and try hard to forget you because you grieve me so, but you’ll never go away. oh you never will.  ❞ ❝  my golden love, if only you knew, what precious honey you are for me.  ❞ ❝  i had an old wound once, but it is healing.  ❞ ❝  always this in-betweenness, this almost, this it might be that...  ❞ ❝  when i close my eyes, i see you. when i open my eyes i want to see you.  ❞ ❝  dark as it is --- you see, that little flickering, is the light of my soul.  ❞ ❝  am i a monster or is this what it means to be a person?  ❞ ❝  i am talking about evil. it blooms. it eats. it grins.  ❞ ❝  sapphires are those eyes of yours, ravishingly sweet.  ❞

[quacka-quacka]

I mentioned Paul's strong resistance to being recognized as effeminate man or gay (here). Although he can hang out with gay guys, wear rainbow flag in public [yeah I definitely need to write that again in case someone didn't see it], being considered gay or "cute" is beyond endurance. I know someone love to interpret this as "don't want to his sexuality being mislabeled", which indeed looks sensible when it comes to the homosexuality, but this excuse can't be applied to the "cute" thing, right? You can't say being cute or feminine is the same thing as being gay, can you? Well, I can hear Paul's every single cell screaming O!M!G! Feminine! all the time. He doesn't want himself have anything to do with feminine, which, unfortunately can not be simply regarded as personal preference, it's indeed a despising of femininity, and femininity? Of course it's about female. Yes, "phallicism", the worship of masculine are still popular in today's society, but it doesn't mean it's right. I have to say Paul's thought is the product of this society, not to mention that he is an old man who grow up in a working-class family six decades ago, we can't demand him that much. His attitude towards women is the same thing.

PAUL: We were more amazed to see the [Japanese] women leaping up out of the seats for the promoter, because we'd never seen that in the West. The subservience of the women was amazing. They'd say, 'Oh God, I'm sorry - was I in your seat?' I remember us getting back to Britain and saying to our wives and girlfriends, 'I wouldn't want you to do that, but maybe it's a direction worth considering?' Promptly rejected.

— The Beatles Anthology

Although Paul seems to know that it's pretty cool for a woman to pursue her own career, like admitting Jane was famous before he was, allowing Linda to write a cookbook or have a photography exhibition, the androcentrism is too ingrained for him to forsake. He acknowledged Jane's achievements but still wanted her to give up work completely:

'I always wanted to beat Jane down,' says Paul. 'I wanted her to give up work completely.'

'I refused. I've been brought up to be always doing something. And I enjoy acting. I didn't want to give that up.'

— Hunter Davies, The Beatles

He allowed Linda to do her own thing, but they are not entirely hers - all those projects are belong to MPL, and do not forget Paul said this after Linda's death:

She never did anything on her own because we were together so much. 

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Chrissie Henderson for USA Week-end: Tears and laughter. (October 30, 1998)

That's so sweet to see Paul would support his wife any time, but on the other hand it also shows that Linda never get the chance to do something entirely on her own without Paul's interference after she got married. No wonder so many people from inner circle [including Linda, yeah] described Paul as "typical Northerner":

Linda confided that Paul was a ‘typical Northerner’ who believed women should stay at home while men worked.

— Bonnie Estridge, The Mail on Sunday. (March 20th, 2005)

Paul was raised the old-fashioned way. Men were the breadwinners; women stayed at home, had babies and tea on the table. He's still an old-fashioned guy, very careful with money.

— Ruth McCartney

Like the other Beatles, he [Paul] was essentially an old fashioned Liverpool man, who wanted his woman tucked away at home cooking the dinner and minding the kids.

— Cynthia Lennon, John

Jane was a serious actress and wanted to continue her career, but Paul had other ideas. That’s why Linda was so perfect for Paul; she was just what he wanted, an old-fashioned Liverpool wife who was completely devoted to her husband.

— Marianne Faithfull, Memories, Dreams and Reflections

I'd say Paul was not that old-fashioned, at least he allowed his wife to do other things besides being a full-time nanny, but everything she does must cater his needs. As Jane once mentioned, he always wants his girl to adore him like fans:

The trouble is, he wants the fans’ adulation and mine too. He’s so selfish; it’s his biggest fault. He can’t see that my feelings for him are real and that the fans’ are fantasy.

— Jane Asher, Love Me Do! The Beatles’ Progress by Michael Braun

I know some of the fans can't wait to jump up now and shout "Paul and Jane didn't have a mature relationship!" "He's much mature after he meet Linda!" "Paul and Linda had a very very very healthy relationship!" Ok, if you really did some research, you may know that he's never mature enough to know how to fully respect women, at least before the end of divorce with Heather Mills. I have seen the theory appears too many times that Paul and Linda's marriage is the result of careful consideration: Linda came along with a ready-made child and she's ready to marry again - well, I regret to tell you both Paul and Linda wouldn't agree with you.

I was a great disappointment to my family When I got married [to a geologist] and moved to Arizona, it was crazy. I had been pressured by men all my life. I rather liked being on my own, making my own decisions. I had actually sworn to myself that I would never get married again.

— Linda McCartney, interview for Playgirl: An intimate conversation with pop’s preeminent pair. (February, 1985)

As she says, she's quite enjoy her freedom and had absolutely no interest in marriage. What did Paul do? He "twisted her arm" to make her agree.

I persuaded Linda to come to London for a visit. Then I rang Heather in New York and said, ‘Heather, will you marry me?’ She was five. ‘No, don’t be silly,’ she said. ‘I’m too young.’ ‘Well, I can wait,’ I said. So we went to New York and brought her back to London to live with us, and I twisted Linda’s arm and finally she agreed to marry me.

— Paul McCartney, interview for Playgirl: An intimate conversation with pop’s preeminent pair. (February, 1985)

Linda also said neither of them knew what they were doing when they got married:

LINDA: 'So instead of getting an agent I met Paul instead and got married. Or I was going through a transition then and didn't know quite what I was doing and he obviously didn't know quite what he was doing so we ended up marrying instead.'

— Paul McCartney: Many Years From Now

Again, I'm not saying Paul and Linda never loved each other or their marriage was completely made up for media, but I don't think his marriage with Linda enabled him to prioritize other's feelings [his status as one of the four head monsters doesn't help]. Linda's overmuch unilateral compromises certainty don't make him look mature. Let alone his excessive dependence on her.

------------------

Reply to all these who think feminize Paul/men is a bad thing:

You love to say that Paul doesn't want the cute title because people used to mock him by that. I understand it. But do you ever think about why being feminine is not taking him seriously? Do you ever think about this is the discrimination about femininity from the whole society? Why does a man must be despised when he has anything to do with femininity? And Paul's approach is denying his femininity, which is the same with those who mock it, like - a man being feminine is a shame because it means he can't be "respected" like other men. It's the recognition of this concept, which is outdated if you think about it.

P.S. Someone who reblogged my post doesn't seem to like the sentence "there must be many sweet moments between Paul and Linda". Ok, I delete it then.

[hamliet]

Dabi’s Missing Heart

So I’ve been seeing two main responses to Dabi’s character as portrayed in BNHA 292, both of which I feel touch on a very surface understanding of his character and role in the story despite seeming like opposite takes.  

Take #1: 

Dabi is an unfeeling monster created to show the redeemability of Shigaraki and Enji in contrast with his true eeeevil villainy! He will never be redeemed! 

Take #2: 

Dabi is a sweet softy who did nothing wrong! He will never be redeemed because of this chapter which is so out-of-character! 

Note how they both have the same endpoint. I’m not actually gonna address the redemption question much because I can’t fathom what this panel foreshadows if not Touya’s salvation (alive): 

I’m not looking to debate this either; I’m just putting it here because I know it’ll come up if I don’t.

Instead, I wanna address Dabi’s character. He’s my favorite, and I’ve been asked a few different times whether I enjoy him as a villain or as an uwu poor baby, and my answer is always both. 

Dabi is a villain. This chapter’s rampage is, in my opinion, not remotely out of character for him. But neither is it the summation of his character, and he surely is not meant to make Enji look good by comparison. 

So, who is Dabi? 

Dabi is kind of a flaming jerk, and that’s why I like him. He’s an abuse victim who gets to be angry and crass and sharp. He pushes people away because he doesn’t want to open up to them and get burned (heh). He’s just like Shouto in that, except with a dose of murder. 

Believe it or not, this is a very realistic response to abuse, and very common too. It’s good to see that representation. If the writing was indeed just “he’s bad get rid of him,” well, that would of course be a terrible representation. But seeing a mean victim get redeemed? Now that’s some good sh*t I’m here for. 

If you want a sweethearted, misunderstood soft victim, there is one in MHA, and that’s Shigaraki. Dabi is not these things, but that does not mean he’s not a victim or that he’s somehow an unfeeling monster.

You see, Shigaraki is a heart character. Dabi’s the mind. (Heart and mind characters are a literary pattern that is utilized in literature across the globe; it’s not an eastern/western cultural thing. It has its roots in alchemy.) The problem is that you can’t have a heart without a mind nor a mind without a heart. If you lack one, you’re missing half the picture, and you won’t accomplish anything. 

We see this with Shigaraki in his quest to look for ideals, something to believe in, purpose to justify/enable acting on his feelings/emotions. 

Dabi, in contrast, has conviction and ideals, but eschews any kind of personal connection and care. 

So, both Shigaraki and Dabi struggle to unite heart and mind--but they need to do precisely this. 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki expressly envisions both Dabi and Himiko when musing on what his purpose is. 

Yet Shigaraki is able to unite more easily with Himiko as opposed to Dabi because Himiko is also a heart character. She claims to be motivated by extreme empathy that warps around to become a lack thereof (wanting to be who she loves).

Shigaraki’s motivations are basically revenge for hero society not saving him--which encompasses both a deep internal and external (societal) need for empathy and a need for better ideals. Shigaraki needs Himiko and Dabi. They’re a trio, and all of them need each other to grow. But Himiko, being similarly driven expressly by emotions, is easier for Shigaraki to understand and work with. 

The irony is that Dabi is actually a very, very emotional character as well. But what he does (as is typical for a mind character) is repress them, compartmentalize, dissociate. He constantly pushes people away, yet admits privately, to himself, that he’s primarily (and paradoxically) motivated by family. This is emotional, yet Dabi claims he “overthought” and, according to other translations, “snapped” can be actually be read as “went crazy” as a result over overthinking (note: both are mind allusions). 

Dabi repressing who he is--Todoroki Touya--is symbolic of him repressing his emotional side, because again, family and emotions are tied together for his character. Now his identity is acknowledged, and Dabi claims to be losing his mind (again), claims that he can’t feel, and yet is completely consumed by emotions. Like, does anyone think he’s being methodical and calculating this chapter? 

It’s not just negative emotions (rage, hate) that drive Dabi in response to his family. His seeking belonging and emotional connection is present even in a chapter where he tries to murder two members of his family and laughs off the risk to the life of another. 

See, Dabi first asked Shouto to validate his pain:

But like, given the circumstances, of course Shouto doesn’t really respond well. How Shouto responds is this: 

Shouto’s words are triggering. And keep in mind I am not blaming Shouto: he’s in shock and he’s a kid. I’m merely trying to explain how it likely comes across to Dabi. 

You’re crazy. Your feelings don’t matter. You don’t really care about Natsuo! You’re a villain and that’s ALL you are. Not a brother or abuse survivor. Just a villain. 

So, uh, yeah, Dabi then retreats back to being unable to feel, dissociating as has always been his coping mechanism. But that’s not all: Dabi’s been repressing for so long that of course he’s gonna go a little insane in response to the dismissal of everything he’s trying to point out. Why wouldn’t he? His family dismissed his pain back then and now again, and so, without that heart, without those emotions, principle is all Dabi has. This has been present since long before Stain’s ideology came into his life: 

Now, he answers this question of existence through Stain’s ideology.  Purpose is all he has, and to him, Shouto and Best Jeanist are dismissing that too. Why are they dismissing it? Best Jeanist dismisses him for an ideal: the overall good of hero society. Shouto has a mixture of this ideal and also like, genuine shock and pain. 

Back to Dabi. Dabi’s summation of himself and his purpose is incorrect and harmful to himself and others. I’m not excusing him or justifying, just explaining. It’s a tragic reflection of what Endeavor raised both Touya and Shouto to be (and thereby ironic that BJ uses an ideal to dismiss him): 

Instead of being raised to be the symbol of hero society--as Endeavor intended--he exists to destroy it. The root is the same: Dabi assumes he exists for hero society, as a tool. He dehumanizes himself, hence why his quirk physically harms him (which also fits his almost religious zeal for Stain’s ideology). But it is not all Dabi is. He’s not a tool, he’s a person, but to acknowledge he’s a person involves acknowledging his heart/emotional desires, and that gets to my next point.

Dabi’s not a reliable narrator about himself. At all. I’ve written about Dabi and dissociation before. So let’s look at Dabi’s devotion to his ideals, the ideals he puts above people and claims he only cares about... because there are moments where Dabi goes against those ideals. 

For one example, Dabi’s gone against those ideals when he’s allowed his personal need for revenge (an emotional/heart motivation) to overcome his longterm plan. Like, he was fully about to get himself killed here, even though that would likely mean no one would know the corruption of the Todoroki family and hero society, just for the chance to prove to his father that he hurt him. 

In addition, I’ve talked before about how Dabi’s the only character in the entire damn manga to comment that maybe using child soldiers is not okay. While it’s not explicitly stated, it’s reasonable to conclude that Dabi considers the abuse of children in hero training a sin of hero society that ought to be purged (hence, part of his ideals). 

That said, I have also pointed out that Dabi has gone after children in the past when it benefits his mission (Bakugou would like a word). So let’s look at four examples of Dabi and his principles concerning kids--since, after all, he claims to be motivated by heroes who hurt kids. 

Firstly, Dabi’s “save the cat” when he spared Aoyama. 

Why did he spare Aoyama? We can only speculate, but it seems quite likely there are two reasons: 1) hurting Aoyama would not add anything to his overall goal of downing hero society, and 2) a terrified, cowering kid might just have been a teeny bit familiar to Dabi. Here, his ideals--destroying hero society--either take a backseat to a reflection of his personal pain (and)/or his ideal of not abusing kids directly contradicted his ideal of bringing down hero society. But the important part is that in this instance, Dabi chose mercy and the goal of bringing down hero society was jeopardized as a result. 

So then why did he attack Tokoyami, Nejire, and Shouto this arc? Well, Dabi does things he knows are wrong for the sake of accomplishing his overall purpose. He does things he knows hurt himself for this purpose. This isn’t new. If he can’t be acknowledged, can’t exist as a person with emotions, then he at least will ensure he still has a purpose.  

In addition, let’s look at what sets Dabi off in all of these instances. (Again, this isn’t me saying “well actually Dabi’s justified.” He’s not. I’m just pointing to what’s in the text to explain the machinations beyond “bad guy do bad.”)

Dabi tries to reason with Tokoyami, pointing out that Twice was doing essentially what Tokoyami is doing: trying to save his friend(s), but Tokoyami doesn’t listen (also again: not me saying Tokoyami should have listened--realistically, in this situation, it makes sense Tokoyami trusted his mentor!)

Only after his reasoning was rejected did Dabi go to flames mode. He could have just let Tokoyami save Hawks, but instead he really wanted to kill Hawks and that overrode his other principles. Was this just because of his furthering his goal--killing the #2 hero would help destroy hero society--or because of a sense of personal revenge for Twice? That’s open for interpretation (in my opinion, it’s likely a mixture, because again, it tends to intertwine more than Dabi likes to think it does). His principles and/or emotions are brushed aside, and Dabi Does Not Like That. 

Dabi does this again with Shouto this chapter, asking him where he stands on their family issues, and gets brushed aside, and then Shouto goes into his rage mode and Dabi responds. Again, not saying Shouto is rational here or that he should side with Dabi’s murderous plan, but like, his words really don’t come across well to Dabi. 

Dabi going after Shouto after explaining things, asking Shouto for help, and then having his pain dismissed is pretty much a repeat of Tokoyami. When Dabi’s pain is dismissed, he says fine, let’s aim for the highest principle possible: making Stain’s will a reality, and damn any emotional ties. 

Dabi’s obsession with ideals, you might say, is a smokescreen to cover his own pain. Far from feeling nothing, he feels very deeply. (I promise I’m getting to Nejire.) 

So what does this indicate? Well, that Dabi does have a heart and a conscience. But when he lets his heart act, when his heart reaches out, he gets burned. His heart jeopardizes his overall purpose, so he most often dissociates himself from it. But by pretending he doesn’t have a heart, he dehumanizes himself, and he projects that dehumanization onto others (see: seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, when that’s actually the precise image Shouto is trying to shed). 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki has been unconscious during the entire confrontation with Endeavor, nor is it a coincidence that Himiko has been MIA. But, Shigaraki wakes up a bit this chapter not only when hearing Dabi spout about how hero society needs to burn, an ideal/the thing Shigaraki lacks, and through a less important but still-ideal-driven character in Spinner asking him to accomplish his supposed ideal of destruction, but when Dabi saves Shigaraki and Spinner. 

Dabi doesn’t burn Nejire for lols (not that this makes it better because it doesn’t) or even for ideals. He burns her to save Shigaraki and Spinner, because they are his links to full humanity right now. 

(Again, this is also dissociation and projection: Endeavor did this! No, Dabi, you did. You’re perpetuating violence against kids rather than stopping it.)

But anyways, when Dabi calls upon heart, Shigaraki wakes. He lends Gigantomachia and thereby Dabi and the league power. 

Dabi can only grow and actually accomplish anything related to his ideals (fixing hero society) through accepting a heart--even though that will likely mean some painful surgery to shift his ideals to accommodate said heart, because pure ideals don’t leave much room for humanity. He needs to feel to actually change anything, because right now he’s just making things worse (hence, the need for saving and redemption).

I know the League aren’t the protagonists of the serIes, but their complaints aren’t exactly incorrect either (if anything they’re almost a little too valid). But through growing together, Dabi, Shigaraki, and Himiko might actually be able to accomplish something, and get themselves in a place where they can be reached and saved by Shouto, Deku, and Ochaco. Because to be saved, the kids will have to acknowledge the villains’ pain and complaints, and do something about it. 

[gyusbambi]

red petals; kim sunwoo (1)

genre: angst, hanahaki disease, unrequited love, college au, introvert!reader

synopsis: with everyday you feel your love for him growing. so do the flowers in your lungs. and you can‘t do anything but discover a new flower each day.

warnings: angst, suicidal thoughts, disfunctional family

in which you are deeply in love with kim sunwoo, who happens to be interested in your friend.

daffodils are the first flowers you coughed up.

long, slender petals in a beautiful shade of yellow. inner ones formed into a trompet-shaped tube, the flower appears pretty to everyone. people don‘t seem to care about the symbolic meanings of each flower. instead, they are interested in the beauty of it. its color, shape, smell.

however, you dislike daffodils. the latin name for it is narcissus. the flower is named after a beautiful greek god, who was arrogant. he rejected all romantic advances and fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. however, he drowned trying to capture his reflection. therefore, the flowers on the riverbed are called after him: narcissus. apparently, the heads of daffodils can be compared to narcissus bending down to observe himself on the water.

needless to say, you make a lot of research of the flowers you cough up. finding out that daffodils can be symbolized as unrequited love, makes a lot of sense to you.

unrequited love is the reason for your hanahaki disease.

_

everything started in your second semester of college when your roommate kara decided to introduce her friend group to you, someone who appears quiet and shy.

although you’re an introverted person, you were able to open up to your new friend group. eric, mina, haknyeon and juyeon.

however not to kim sunwoo.

no matter how much you try to open up and talk to him, you fail every time.

blushing, shifting gaze, slightly trembling hands, dry mouth.

whenever the boy talks to you, you shrug, shake your head or nod an answer instead of actually speaking. sometimes you hesitantly offer an opinion or answer question to avoid awkwardness.

don’t get me wrong. it’s definitely not because you dislike kim sunwoo. quite the opposite! for some reason, you feel a little too attracted to the college student. just the sight of him makes your heart beat a little faster. now and then you have eye contact, which leads you to look away after only milliseconds, eyes looking for an object to focus on. wavy, dark hair slightly covering his beautiful round eyes makes you completely nervous. afraid that you’ll say or do something dumb or embarrassing, you usually keep silent. therefore, your bond with him isn’t as strong as the ones with the others.

on the other hand, you enjoy eric’s presence since the young boy is extremely energetic and really fun to be around with. eric made you open up by starting conversations with you when nobody else was giving their attention to you. as the others were laughing about something, the young boy noticed that you haven’t spoken a word and suddenly started talking to like you were his best friend.

little do you know, sunwoo wonders why you are comfortable around everyone besides him.

like how you are currently walking home after a long night of studying. the night sky is pitch-black, stars almost invisible. you feel the old air hit your face as you feel sunwoo’s warm hand slightly brush against yours. instantly your cold cheeks heat up due to the sudden contact of his skin with yours and you feel your hand tingle.

instead of looking up to observe his reaction, you don’t advert your gaze from the ground, too scared to look into his eyes. although you don’t even dare to take a quick glimpse, you know that he looks insanely good at that moment. his puffer jacket fading in the darkness, his other hand in his pocket, curls covering his forehead, tanned skin glowing under the moonlight. if only you had the guts to talk to him.

however, thankfully the boy himself moves his head to face you only to observe your small figure quietly walking next to him. sunwoo thinks you’re too engrossed into your own thoughts, not paying attention to your surroundings. not paying attention to the rest of the group walking in front of you, while the both of you walk in a slower path. indeed, the boy is anything but used to being alone with you. therefore, he takes this as an opportunity to talk to you.

“you good?”

his sudden deep voice brings you back to reality and you give him a short side glance before looking ahead of you again. sunwoo is surprised to actually hear your voice instead of getting a simple nod as a response.

“yeah. i’m just a little tired.”

in contrast to his, your voice sounds small and soft. attempting to meet your eyes, sunwoo nudges your side playfully with his elbow. “relax a little. you always study until you doze off.”

laughing at his statement, you finally meet his eyes and shrug before answering. “they only pick the best students for the bachelor specializations.”

when your eyes meet sunwoo’s he feels relief and comfort. the young boy is amazed by your shining eyes under the moonlight as he offers you a genuine smile, eyes still focused on yours.

“you already do well in everything, thought...”

you notice sunwoo trailing off and his eyes glancing around the park you’re passing by, before his gaze lands on you again.

“except botany.”

both of you say the same words at the same time causing you to laugh.

“i don’t know. it’s just not interesting to me?”

for some reason you seem a little less shy than usual today, which enables you to have a normal conversation with sunwoo.

“well, if you help me with microbio i could help you with botany.”

sunwoo shrugs, hands still in his jacket pockets. it is true that kim sunwoo has a deep interest for botany. everyone in your friend group knows that the young boy likes learning about several plants, whereas you find it boring and unnecessary. 

however, before you can agree to his suggestion, kara turns around swiftly to face both of you. gesturing to the dorms, the girl pouts lightly. “it’s time to separate our ways.”

“see you in the library tomorrow.” sunwoo mumbles when kara pulls him into a tight hug. 

rapidly you look away, eyes trying to focus on anything but your two friends next to you. eventually your gaze lands on eric, who’s already looking at you with an unreadable expression. soon enough he pats your shoulder as he chuckles. “sleep well. tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

“you too.” 

smiling, you wave at your friend before you turn your head to catch a glimpse of sunwoo glancing at you. thinking he won’t say anything anyway, your feet start moving towards kara, who’s saying goodbye to the others. 

“y/n!”

sunwoo calling your name makes you stop immediately, heart pounding a little faster than normal. with curious eyes you turn around and are met with sunwoo waving at you, a small smile forming on his lips. 

“rest well. and let’s talk more.”

suddenly your body feels like its frozen on spot, no single muscle able to move. it’s stupid how you can’t do anything but blink a few times, clearing your throat to give him a response. however, your throat feels dry and your nervousness makes it impossible for you to form actual words. instead, you nod shyly, waving at him one last time before your roommate grips your arm, pulling you towards the dorms. 

kara is already sleeping peacefully while you face your reflection in the bathroom, hand clasping your throat as you feel burning pain in your whole chest and throat area. frowning you reach for a glass of water, hoping that the pain would vanish. 

however, it only starts hurting more causing you to squat down on your spot. probing the pained area while wincing, you wonder what could be the cause for this horrible burning and itching. 

when you eventually feel like you’re going to throw up, you quickly grab an empty bucket. completely shocked by what came out of your mouth, your glassy eyes are now widen as you lean back, hand covering your mouth. in order to keep quiet, you try to avoid loud coughing. 

the empty bucket is now filled with countless yellow petals. 

flowers?

head tilting to the side, you open your mouth but can’t speak. the whole situation seems entirely absurd and confusing to you. maybe it’s a dream?

but you know it isn’t a dream when you google “coughing flowers” only to find out that it is an actual disease called “hanahaki”. 

and you suffer from it because of unrequited love.

_

to be continued.

[sabababa]

How easy is it to make the BNHA boys blush? Are they stone cold on the outside but internally screaming or are they as red as a tomato and a babbling mess? Also I hope you don’t mind making it so Reader is like the Dom in the relationship

How you make them blush headcanons

Hawks, Hitoshi Shinso, Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Mirio Togata, Shota Aizawa, Tamaki Amajiki x GenderNeutral!Reader

Author’s Note: I tried to make the reader come off as a dom in these, so I hope it shows. I also imagine reader being tall since I’m like 5′11″ and there’s hardly any tall reader stuff, so some of the stuff in these could be preserved from a tall person POV      This is also the first time I’ve written for Shinso and Tamaki so I hope I represented them well!

Warnings: Some slight spice but not really, slight Dom!reader

Masterlist | Request Rules

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

Hawks

People like to imagine Hawks as a very suave guy, but that’s not the case

Of course, he has a public appearance to keep up

But oh boy, when he meets someone he actually likes he gets tongue tied

So when you two started dating it was fairly easy to get him to blush, but not so much it’d make his face red

Simple domestic acts were enough to dust his cheeks, or even some compliments

He never received genuine attention like that so he was unsure of how to react

He started to get used to it though, he may not blush anymore, but he still likes it

Now, a new thing you discovered a couple months into the relationship is that he has bird-like behaviors

And sometimes you like to take advantage of it

He likes to groom you by brushing your hair or trimming your nails, he’s actually very good at mani-pedis

So you’ll return the favor by brushing his hair or trimming his nails and it causes him to be a blushy mess because his heart is pounding and he can’t believe you want to groom him

You’ll even take it a step farther by cleaning or fixing his feathers

It’s a big deal in the bird world when two birds groom each other, it means they’re very close

Another thing is that he likes to feed you parts of his food from his plate

Even if you’re both eating the same thing, he still likes to hold food up to your mouth for you to eat

And once again, you’ll do it right back at him

In the bird world, it would mean that you accepted him as your mate

It makes him blush as he bites the food off and enjoys the flavor

Even when you eat the same thing, he swears it tastes better when you feed it to him

All in all, he gets real blushy when you indulge in his birdy antics

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

Hitoshi Shinso

Hitoshi doesn’t really blush

Whenever you say a compliment to him he just rubs the back of his neck, looks down, and has a grin on his face

He loves it when you comment on things he feels other people don’t like about him

His unkempt hair, his baggy eyes, his terrible sleeping habit

He’s never cared what other people think, but hearing you speak so positively about those things makes his heart soar

“Oh my god, your bed head is the cutest thing on this planet!”

“Awh, did I wake you? You look so adorable rubbing your eyes!”

“You have the sexiest voice ever, I swear, can you just never stop talking to me, please?”

He loves when you talk about his voice

It’s what really enables his quirk, so the fact that you’re not intimidated by him talking and love hearing him talk is refreshing to him

But on the inside, when you compliment him

He’s screaming and doing back flips

They like my voice?!

They want me to keep talking to them?!

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

But on the outside he acts like his regular cool self

He also really loves when you display affection to him around others

You’re not afraid of being associated with him or what other people think and he just absolutely loves it

Sometimes kids in the hallways will give him nasty looks and he’ll give one back

But you just pull him close to your side and hold his arm while giving the kid an intimidating look

Since you’re in separate classes you walk with him to his first

Before you leave you always put a little kiss on his cheek as you guys stand near the doorway for his classmates to see

He smirks when he catches a few staring, but once again, he is absolutely going crazy inside his head

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

Izuku Midoriya

THIS BOY

THE ABSOLUTE BLUSHIEST

Any compliment or flirt you say to him will have him blushing

Sometimes you’ll comment on his strength

Or how cute he is when he mumbles

Or how adorable his face looks when he’s concentrated

He face goes red every time and it makes him cover his head with his arms

And you compliment how cute he looks when he’s blushing, every time

What he loves the most though is when you show him off

“Everybody stop what you’re doing and look how adorable Izu is!”

“Look at his cute chubby cheeks and pretty freckles! *squeals*”

Some of your friends find it funny, but the others just cringe or roll their eyes (actually just Bakugou)

He loves it when you talk about his strength and have him show it off as well

You ask him to pick you up and he’ll have you sit on his arm while he flexes

This man carried around a hulked up Allmight for training, picking you up is a piece of cake

“Look how strong my baby boy is!” You gush

His face is so red, but he’s lowkey enjoying the attention

A thing you like to do is have him sit in your lap while you wrap your arms around him to trap him against you

You’ll do this when you guys are in the lounge and it makes him blush

You like to pepper his cheek in kisses while he sits on you and it makes him giggle

When you’re in private, you’ll have him straddle you on the bed

And of course the blush never leaves his face as you feel his body

You leave kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, his neck, even his collarbone if the collar of his shirt is deep enough (he’s bought a couple of v-necks for this occasion)

He loves it when you bring his hands up and kiss along his scars

You’re so slow and sensual about it, it makes his heart race and body heat up

And he wouldn’t trade that feeling for the world

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

Katsuki Bakugou

He won’t admit it, but he blushes

You would make him blush even before you two started dating

You were his biggest hype man- and still are

But whenever he would start roasting or chewing people out, you would be there in the background

“Yeah! Kick their ass, Bakugou!” You’d shout

He thought it was weird at first and brushed it off, but when he realized he started to like you it caused a small blush to pop up whenever you would cheer him on

And when you realized you started to like him you upped your game

Anytime you’d walk into a room with him in it you would say

“Where’s that handsome devil Bakugou?”

His face would be so red, but he looked so angry that everyone thought it was just from rage as he chewed you out for making a comment like that

Anytime you knew he was around and listening you would bring him up

“Damn, I have no idea how to make this. Maybe our resident hot chef Bakugou can make it?”

“Leave me alone or I’ll call the handsome devil Bakugou himself!”

“You really think you can beat pretty boy Bakugou?”

He won’t admit it, but he loves it when you call him your pretty boy

Especially after you two start dating

You’ll be sitting in the living area of the dorms with some friends playing some games

Bakugou wins and you congratulate him with a kiss on the cheek with

“That’s my pretty boy!”

He still blushes slightly but doesn’t get angry about it because after all, you’re dating, of course, you’re gonna compliment him

In private you’ll call him sexy if you want to tease him

But sometimes there are days where you just want to be affectionate and have him vulnerable beneath you

You’ll kiss him all over his face as his blush grows

You then compliment him when his face finally softens and shows a small smile

“You really are my pretty boy, Suki,”

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

Mirio Togata

Mirio is a boy who does blush, but not over the top and very rarely

You have to meet a special set of requirements if you want his blush to appear

And the way to do that is to compliment his body

Mirio is used to people talking about his body

I mean, with a quirk like his, he was constantly showing it off to everybody

He expected comments about it when it was shown

But when you two started dating you threw him for a loop

He was just casually talking to Nejire and Tamaki when you snuck up behind him and grabbed his pecs, giving them a squish

“Look at these big ol’ bara tiddies,” you said playfully as you groped him

Mirio was so stunned from the act that a blush appeared

He never expected it and Nejire laughed about the look on his face while Tamaki looked embarrassed for him

He eventually snapped back and let out a sheepish laugh, but he also sounded giddy because he lowkey liked you feeling him up

Another day he was doing some regular workouts with his friends

Once again he was talking to Nejire and Tamaki when you snuck up behind him

Instead this time you crawled under his legs and stuck your head between his thighs as you made him squish your cheeks

“This boy has thighs for days!” You said as you rubbed your hands up and down his thighs

Again, he was stunned and blushy

Nejire laughed and Tamaki hid his face

This other time happened when he was alone

You see, you had made such a habit of ogling him in front of others that he thought he was safe alone

Nope

He was in the dorm’s kitchen preparing a meal for himself when he saw you walking in

He greeted you with a big smile and offered to make you something

You came up behind him and smacked his ass and continued to squish it in your hand as you pressed your body against his, trapping him against the counter

“Maybe you could let me have a piece of that ass?”

Mirio.exe has stopped working

You laughed as you stood back and removed yourself from him to calm him down

His face was so red, he had no idea what to do

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

Shouta Aizawa

Aizawa THINKS he blushes, but doesn’t actually

He’ll pull his capture weapon up to cover his face more when you flirt with him

What makes him act this way is when you compliment his features or give some kind of sexy nickname to him

Aizawa thinks he’s an average looking man

He’s not insecure, he just honestly thinks that of himself

So sometimes you’ll come up to him and rub your face against his to feel his stubble scratch against your cheek

“Damn, I love your stubble, it’s so sexy!”

Cue him averting his eyes and covering his face with his scarf

Another thing you like to do is when you’re alone and lounging together on the couch

You’ll admire his features for a while before you give kisses all over his face

He’ll ask what that was for

“You’re just so handsome, Sho,” you say with a sweet smile

He’ll look away with a surprised grunt and cover his face with his hand

You like to tease him when he does that and tell him how cute he looks, which only makes it worse for him

Sometimes, out of the blue, you like to give him sexy nicknames

“How’s it going, stud?”

“Hey there, hot stuff!”

“Whatcha’ up to, sexy?”

You’ll even say stuff like that in front of his friends and co-workers, but you’re not seductive about it, just casual, so he doesn’t really get mad at you for it

But it does make him pull the scarf up

One of his favorite things you call him though is “hubby”

You’re not married yet, nor engaged, but it really makes his heart pound against his chest when you call him that, especially in front of strangers

“I guess I’ll have that. What do you want, hubby?”

“Awh, isn’t my hubby the best?”

He doesn’t mind that you refer to him as your “hubby”

He was planning on asking you soon anyway

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

Tamaki Amajiki

This boy blushes all the time when he’s around you

Even before you dated, of course

Just a simple “hello” and “how are you?” would make him blush and hide his face in the nearest wall

It took him a while to warm up to you, especially since he got a crush the first moment he saw you

You always tried your best to have him comfortable around you, you understood how anxiety could be

Eventually, he started hiding against your back whenever he got anxious

That was when you knew it was time to pop the question

“Tama, do you wanna go on a date with me?”

His face was completely red but he managed to stutter out an answer while furiously nodding

So when you guys started dating his blush reappeared whenever you’re around

But it wasn’t the type of “oh god I just wanna hide” blush

It was the “everything they do is amazing” blush

You’ll sometimes come up and give him a surprise kiss on the cheek

Or sometimes you’ll pick him up in a hug and spin him around

His face is flushed as he buries it in the crook of your neck with his arms wrapped around your shoulders

Other times, you’ll just hold his face in your hand and he leans into it with the sweetest smile

He loves it when you praise him

It makes him feel so much better after he does something he considers difficult, like ordering food or making an important phone call (me too, Tama)

His nerves are all jittery after it’s over and you’re there to soothe them by holding his hand or giving a small peck to his cheek

“That was so good, Tama! I’m proud!”

“You said all that without stuttering! Great job!”

“Wait, you did that all by yourself? My baby boy is growing up so fast!”

He really likes it when you call him your baby boy, it warms his face and his heart

Overall, he’s so happy to have someone so supportive

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading!

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Spooky Stories to Hold Them Close

Shinobu Kochou x They/Them Reader Modern AU

A/N:  I’ve got camping on the brain so I wrote a camp AU. There is a manga character mentioned in here but I morph them a bit to fit what I’m going for so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Please enjoy!  Shinobu: If there are any spirits out here tonight tell me, does this sound like Shakira? lolay lolay lo- 

Word Count: 4,821

It was summer again, and (Y/n) groaned as they removed their camp issued baseball cap to swipe at the sweat that had accumulated over their brow. Not even the cheap material could save them from the intense heat of the day. God, they would kill to be back at the counselor’s cabin to enjoy just a smidge of AC but no, instead they were out with the unruly boys of Cabin K, making sure that they carried out their punishment of hard labor after causing a food fight in the mess hall.

“Come on boys, those canoes better be sparkling if you’re going to be taking your sweet time like this.” (Y/n) called, fanning themself with their hat.

“There’s a spider in this one!” Zenitsu cried. “This is so gross, there’s no way anyone’s ever cleaned these before!”

“Don’t worry Zenitsu, I’ll get it.” Tanjirou smiled earnestly.

(Y/n) felt bad for that kid. He was such an enabler though. The others looked up to him and respected him a lot. Who knows how much better it be if he knocked their heads more often. But because of his soft and nurturing demeanor, Tanjirou was always getting caught up in his cabin mates’ shenanigans. Speaking of which...

“Inosuke! If so much as a toe goes in that water you’ll be at the craft table with the junior kids making macaroni art until the only color you know yellow!” (Y/n) warned.

A strangled wail mixed with a roar left the boy’s mouth, the sound didn’t even sound like it could come from a human being. It was like that boy was a feral boar. Given how he’s kept coming back year after year, he may as well be just that.

“It’s hot! I’ll wash the boat in the lake!” He yelled, pulling the canoe closer to the sandy beach.

“Inosuke I’m serious! Macaroni art! That, and I’ll call your mother!” (Y/n) yelled back.

“Damn you and your sick threats!”

“My, still at it are we?”

(Y/n) sighed, turning with a tight smile towards Shinobu as their fellow counselor came up beside them. They tried not to let their eyes wander too long over the expanse of soft looking skin Shinobu’s shorts left exposed.

“Yeah, and as you can see, Tomioka ditched me to go help Sabito with something.” (Y/n) huffed, returning a watchful eye over Inosuke as he dragged the canoe back up to the others.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Shinobu tutted, stepping closer to rub (Y/n)’s back as a sign of sympathy. The proximity brought the scent of sunscreen and damp earth to (Y/n)’s nose. It was an intoxicating scent that (Y/n) had grown to associate with Shinobu always.

“Yeah, are you getting ready for swim lessons right now? Tradesies?” They asked hopefully, mustering up the best puppy dog eyes they could make. They only succeeded in making Shinobu laugh though, which honestly, wasn’t a bad constellation prize.

“Mm, no, sorry. You’re not the only one wanting to get relief from this heatwave.” Shinobu pinched the front of her shirt pulling at it to circulate some airflow. A motion (Y/n) definitely did not follow with their eyes.

“I did grab you and the boys some water though.” Shinobu said, digging into the drawstring bag that was slung over her shoulder and presenting (Y/n) with four bottles of cold water. “And to think I purposfully didn’t get one for Tomioka and he isn’t even here to stare off into the middle distance. Such a waste.”

“You’re such a bully sometimes, you know that?” (Y/n) chuckled, placing all bottles at their feet except for one, “remind me to stay on your good side.”

“You’d really be on my good side if you came to the counselor fire after the kids turn in. The theme is Fright Night, sponsored by yours truly,” Shinobu winked playfully.

Immediately (Y/n) felt a tad ill. “Fright Night?”

“Yes!” Shinobu nodded, a small, yet very excited grin on her face, “it’ll be held at Hangman’s Clearing, of course, a full night of frightening tales and games by the fire... and delicious treats! Provided Mitsuri doesn’t eat them all on the way. You’ll come, right?”

(Y/n) wasn’t particularly fond of the supernatural or chilling tales of murder or other dark themes. In fact, it would be fair to say they loathed them. They hated being scared and this themed get together should have had (Y/n) running in the opposite direction. ‘Should have’ being the key in this situation.

Shinobu looked so hopeful, waiting expectantly for (Y/n)’s reply. It would be impossible to say no to that face. A face that (Y/n) looked forward to seeing every summer and was always desperately looking for an excuse to see as often as possible. It couldn’t be that bad, right? (Y/n) could handle a few spooks in exchange for hanging out with Shinobu all night. Yeah, they could do this.

“It’s not a trick question, (Y/n). A simple yes or no would suffice.” Shinobu teased. “Though if it helps sway your decision at all, it would make me really happy if you would come.”

And with that, (Y/n)’s fate was sealed.

“Okay, sure, yeah, I’ll come.” (Y/n) bashfully agreed, their heartbeat picking up in pace at Shinobu’s delighted giggle.

“Great! I’ll see you at the clearing at ten. Don’t be late or,” she suddenly latched on to (Y/n)’s arm, startling them, “the ghosts will get you!”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” (Y/n) laughed weakly. Their skin tingling from where Shinobu had grabbed them.

“I better get to the beach, the kids are getting antsy.” Shinobu said before proceeding to pull her shirt over her head. She was wearing her swimsuit of course, but still. (Y/n) nearly had an aneurysm because of the casual reveal. “See you later, (Y/n).”

“Sssseee you. Bye. Thanks for the water.” (Y/n) then made themselves busy by taking several sips of said water.

“Anytime,” Shinobu’s eyes traveled past (Y/n)’s body before returning to them with a sympathetic smile, “looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“Huh?” (Y/n) squinted before their eyes blew wide and they jerked their head back in the direction of the canoes. “Tanjirou, why is there a canoe in that tree! I swear I can’t leave you guys alone for two minutes!” (Y/n) stalked over to the boys and Shinobu watched their back, laughing as (Y/n) ran up to Inosuke and tackled him to the ground before he could scale the tree with another canoe.

***

Night fell much too quickly after a full day of scheduled activities and once all the campers had retired to their cabins for curfew, (Y/n) knew their time to mentally prepare for the counselor fire had run out. At least they hadn’t had to walk to the clearing themself, as they had bumped into Mitsuri and Iguro at the edge of the forest entrance.

Iguro seemed miffed that his alone time with the bubbly counselor had been interrupted but Mitsuri was all too happy to catch up with (Y/n) about their day as they walked to Hangman’s Clearing.

Soon the light of a fire could be seen between the trees and they met up with the other counselors who had decided to join in. Sitting around the fire, (Y/n) saw Kyoujurou and Tengen talking to each other while poking at the fire. (Y/n) frowned, wondering where Shinobu was.

“Boo!”

It took everything in (Y/n)’s power to swallow the scream that threatened to spill from their mouth as arms wrapped around them from behind. Instead it turned into a pitiful and embarrassing squeak. (Y/n) wasn’t sure which would have been better.

“Oh dear, (Y/n). Did I startle you? I’m sorry.” Shinobu released (Y/n) from her hold and patted their shoulder.

“It’s okay!” (Y/n) promised, not wanting Shinobu to feel bad. “Besides, that’s kind of the point of tonight, isn’t it?”

“Right! I’m glad you could come (Y/n). I didn’t know if you liked scary things.” Shinobu said as they followed Mitsuri and Iguro to the fire.

“Yeah...” (Y/n) replied, lying against their better judgment. They just wanted Shinobu to think they were cool, impress her somehow maybe. “Horror is.. great.”

“Is this it?” Tengen asked, leaning his back against a sturdy log.

“Yes. Gyomei is staying behind to keep an ear out for the kids, as are Sabito and Tomioka. Sanemi said the whole thing wasn’t worth his time.” Shinobu explained as she took her own seat at the fire, motioning for (Y/n) to sit next to her.

“Did you even really invite Tomioka?” Tengen snorted.

“Of course I did, but as you all know, Tomioka is a wet blanket so he declined and Sabito decided to stay with him.” Shinobu clapped her hands against her thighs, “Now, enough about them. Let’s get the festivities started, shall we? Mitsuri, you brought the goods?”

“I sure did!” Mitsuri cheered, taking the nearly overflowing backpack she had been toting off of her shoulders. It landed in the dirt with a heavy thud. “I’ve got s’more fixings, jiffy pop, chips, sodas, water, hotdogs...”

“Wow Mitsuri, you really went all out. How did you carry it all?” (Y/n) marveled.

Mitsuri flexed one of her biceps, smacking the muscle with her hand. “Strength, pure will power and an intense love of all things delicious!” She said, her lips curled into an adorable smile.

The counselor fire started out great. For the first hour they all talked and ate, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the twinkle of the stars, laughing with each other as they recalled the memories that they had made over the years.

But like anything else, the conversation dried to a slow trickle and most of the food had been polished off. The once hearty blaze of the fire was now a low flame with glowing embers. Shinobu took it as her cue to begin the main event.

(Y/n) blinked at the sudden brightness that flashed beside them. They squinted against the light and saw that Shinobu was brandishing a flashlight, highlighting her face for a moment before moving the light to cast shadows over the sinister smile growing across her face.

“Anyone have a scary story they’d like to share or are you all content to dive into the main event?” Shinobu asked, placing her free hand confidently over her chest.

“Oo! I got one, Shinobu! Pick me!” Mitsuri called, calling out in her seat beside Iguro.

“Alright, catch!” Shinobu tossed the flashlight to Mitsuri who caught it with an excited squee.

“Okay, so, um.. oh! Once, there was this girl who woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. She decided that she wanted a midnight snack and remembered that there was still a piece of her favorite raspberry cheesecake left. A perfect creamy treat! She could practically taste it already.”

Mitsuri wiggled on the log, leaning forward in her excitement. Light from the fire illuminated the green tips of her hair making them appear to glow.

“So she got out of her warm and comfy bed and crept into the dark, cold hallway, thump thump thump, and down the squeaky stairs, squeak squawk squeak, until she finally made it to the kitchen.

Mitsuri reached out towards the fire with her free hand and made a motion like grabbing a door, slowly pulling it back.

“She opened the refrigerator door and then—“ Mitsuri slapped her hand down upon her thigh with startling force, “to her absolute horror, she remembered that she had eaten the last piece of cheesecake at lunch the previous day! There was no more cheesecake to be had, and she had to settle for confetti cake ice cream when what she was really craving was the cheesecake!”

Mitsuri shook her head sorrowfully, and Iguro rubbed a soothing hand over her back while she collected herself.

“The end.” Mitsuri finished, clicking the flashlight off.

“Haha! Good one Mitsuri. The emotion behind your tale made it feel so real!” Kyoujirou loudly proclaimed. Shinobu giggled from her seat beside (Y/n) who also couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“It was real!” Mitsuri said seriously. “It happened to me just a couple weeks ago!” she shuddered.

“I don’t know, that was hardly scary Kanroji.” Tengen shrugged.

“I’d like to see you do better!” Mitsuri pouted.

“I could, but I’d rather let Kochou get on with her activities. Her knee is bouncing. Impatient, Kochou?”

“Ha ha! That it is!” Kyoujirou laughed.

“I can wait,” Shinobu countered, her leg ceased its bouncing due to being caught. “Does anyone else want to share a story?”

A chorus of head shakes met Shinobu’s question and she shrugged, a sly smiling curling at her lips.

“Very well then, Mitsuri, the flashlight please.”

“You got it!” Mitsuri cheered, tossing the light back to Shinobu.

Shinobu clicked the light back on, her eyes roamed over her audience one by one.

“Have you all heard of the serial killer Douma the Cannibal?” Shinobu asked.

“Of course,” Iguro spoke up. “He killed at least seventy women throughout the 1910s until well into the 1920s. However, their still connecting cold case murders to him even now. Some experts believe he could have killed well over two hundred. A really despicable monster to say the least.”

“Very true.” Shinobu nodded solemnly, “His parents ran a cult, believing he was some kind of messiah or deity. They let him do whatever he wished. It started with the killings of small animals but quickly escalated once that had lost its appeal. We don’t know much of motivations, but it’s believed he killed simply because he enjoyed it. Famously developing a taste for his victims after he ran out of places to store them.”

(Y/n) shivered, clutching themself in a hug as they waited for Shinobu to continue. This was worse than any old ghost story, the girl beside them was talking about an actual person! Well, at least he was dead right? Right?

“He was apprehended right here in this very clearing actually.” Shinobu said, looking around at the dark forest that surrounded them “The mob hung him, strung him up in one of these trees, hence the name Hangman’s Clearing.”

(Y/n) swallowed thickly. Why here, he couldn’t be dead someplace else? And they made a fucking summer camp here, what the actual fuck? Suddenly the woods seemed much more sinister.

“He deserved it of course,” Shinobu continued with a sigh, “but just think of what we could have learned if they chained him up instead. There are still many bodies unaccounted for. But perhaps,” Shinobu turned to (Y/n), making them jump a little as her hand slid behind them to pick up a box.

“But perhaps tonight, in the field where he gasped for his last breaths, we can learn something from beyond.”

Oh hell to the fucking no. She was holding a goddamn ouija board and matching planchette.

(Y/n) felt the hairs on the back of their neck rise to attention. There was no way, how could they get themself out of this? Calling upon the spirit of a serial killer was not what they had signed up for. Everyone else however, seemed to lean in and stare with excitement at the prospect, even Mitsuri quickly hopped out of her seat to sit on Shinobu’s other side.

“Oo, oo! Shinobu what a good idea!” she cheered.

A good idea? Mitsuri, honey, what is wrong with you, respectfully. (Y/n) held their face in their hand. That girl had been their only chance of escape, but she seemed just as invested as everyone else!

“Thank you, let’s get this set up then, shall we?” Shinobu grinned.

Tengen and Kyoujirou pushed the logs around into a makeshift table and everyone kneeled around it. Shinobu placed the board and planchette neatly in the middle, beckoning everyone to place a finger on the planchette.

(Y/n) jolted to attention as Shinobu placed her hand over theirs, giving them a questioning glance.

“(Y/n), are you still with us?” She teased.

“Yeah, sorry.” They gulped, watching in dismay as Shinobu smiled at them and pulled their hand up to the board, curling all fingers but one and playfully pushing it against the planchette before placing her own over the wood. There was no getting out of this.

Shinobu then went on about how the board worked and what not, (Y/n) didn’t really listen, too busy trying to find their happy place and pretend they weren’t there.

“Are there any spirits with us tonight?” Shinobu asked, pulling (Y/n) out of their head at the most inopportune moment.

At first there was no movement, for which (Y/n) was thankful, but ever so slowly the planchette did move.

“K-Kyou, you aren’t pushing it are you?” (Y/n) couldn’t help but ask.

“Not at all my friend!” Kyoujirou heartily replied as the planchette continued moving in (Y/n)’s direction.

The fact that it was moving in their direction wasn’t the issue, but rather the fact that (Y/n)’s corner of the board had ‘yes’ written on it.

“Ah, a yes! This is so exciting!” Mitsuri wiggled.

“Nice, how flamboyant!” Tengen added, pumping his free fist.

“What is your name spirit?” Shinobu continued.

(Y/n) let out a shaky breath as the planchette moved away from them. Watching with dread as it skimmed across the board.

‘D’

‘O’

‘U’

‘M’

‘A’

Fuck.

“Where are the victims you buried in these woods, you worthless, demonic bastard?” Shinobu tensed beside (Y/n), concentrating heavily on the board, her tone was commanding as she demanded an answer.

(Y/n) would have found it extremely attractive if they weren’t already scared out of their mind. The taunting of a serial killer ghost was the last thing they wanted to be a part of. Especially if they were talking demons, (Y/n) was too young to die like this. Well, they’d never be at an age where death by demon possession would seem favorable, but that was not the point!

The planchette moved across several letters and (Y/n) lost track of what was being spelled out. Which was just as well, ignorance is bliss after all, right? They waited for the others to figure it out with bated breath.

“Follow the sounds of the woods and we’ll find the signs, hm?” Iguro muttered. “Sounds like a trap.”

“What does it matter? Not like ghosts exist anyway. This is all a part of the ambiance, right Shinobu?” Tengen laughed, laying back on his forearms.

“I wasn’t pushing the planchette if that’s what you are suggesting, Uzui.” Shinobu answered seriously. “But if anyone else wants to confess to it, by all means don’t waste our time.”

“I didn’t!” Mitsuri denied while Iguro shook his head.

“I didn’t either.” (Y/n) also spoke up, an undetectable tremor pulled at their vocal chords.

“Nor have I!” Kyoujirou boomed.

“Then there is only one way to know for sure that this is all legitimate,” Shinobu said, brandishing the small lantern she had lit to illuminate the board, “we break off and search the surrounding woods.”

“Break off? Like, search in the dark alone?” (Y/n) couldn’t help but ask for clarification. Couldn’t they all just head back to the cabins together and watch a movie on Tengen’s smuggled DVD player and forget this whole mess?

“No, not alone,” Shinobu smiled, looping her free arm through (Y/n)’s, “that would be too dangerous. Pairs would be better.”

“I’m going with Kanroji.” Iguro immediately declared. Mitsuri wiggled and clapped, happy to go with him.

“Guess that leaves you and me,” Tengen grinned, fist bumping Kyoujirou, “let’s kick some ghost ass!”

“Yes!” Kyoujirou enthusiastically replied.

“Great, then it’s decided!” Shinobu nodded, squeezing (Y/n)’s arm closer to her as she stood up, pulling them up with her. “Meet back here in half an hour?”

A range of approvals sounded and once they synced up their watches (since phones weren’t allowed at camp), the three separate pairs went off in different directions into the dark woods.

(Y/n) used to love these woods, coming back summer after summer, it was one of the things they looked forward to every year. It only took about twenty minutes for them to learn to hate it as Shinobu led them through the bramble and roots by lantern light.

“You’re being awfully quiet, something on your mind?” Shinobu asked after an owl hooted in the distance, startling (Y/n) a bit.

“No, I’m just,” (Y/n) made a vague gesture with their hands, “concentrating, I guess.” They finished lamely.

Shinobu hummed in amusement, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. It is all rather exciting isn’t it? I hope we find something.”

“Mhmm.” (Y/n) forced a smile as Shinobu looked over her shoulder at them. It quickly fell from their face once Shinobu turned to face front again, guiding (Y/n) further down the darkened path.

(Y/n) had never been more tense in their life. They didn’t know if they were thankful for Shinobu’s commentary as they kept walking or if they wanted her to be quiet so they could hear any approaching threat. Whatever the case, they kept their mouth shut. Only answering Shinobu with one word responses, affirming or negative noises or just the shake or nod of their head when Shinobu would look back at them. If Shinobu thought it odd, she didn’t comment on her fellow counselor’s behavior.

After awhile, (Y/n) attempted to pretend they were somewhere else again. Still with Shinobu, but somewhere nice like an amusement park or a beach at sunset... maybe sunrise instead. (Y/n) was jostled from their musings when Shinobu stopped suddenly, causing (Y/n) to bump into her.

“Did you hear that?” She whispered, spiking (Y/n) blood pressure through the roof.

“No.” They squeaked.

“Listen.” Shinobu hushed, pulling (Y/n) down to their knees, they both crouched to the ground, listening so hard their ears were buzzing.

A snapping of a branch in the distance, the rustle of leaves.

“What,” (Y/n) swallowed, “what was that?” They whispered.

“Shhh,” Shinobu exhaled, covering (Y/n)’s lips with her fingers as she continued to listen.

It was quiet again, and as Shinobu gave up on listening and removed her fingers from over (Y/n)’s mouth—

“KYYYYAAAAAHHHH!”

A loud scream could be heard far off in the trees, then everything went quiet again for all of three seconds before (Y/n) absolutely lost it.

“Oh my god!” They gasped, clutching Shinobu’s arm tightly to their chest, their eyes wide and unfocused. “Oh my god, that sounded like Mitsuri! Oh god, oh fuck! Shit!”

“(Y/n)?” Shinobu looked at them, a bewildered expression molding her face as she observed their sudden outburst. She quickly moved to comfort them though, setting the lantern down to hug them, rubbing their back as it shuddered with ragged breaths. “Hey, it’s alright. You’re okay.”

“For now!” (Y/n) frantically retorted. “It’s only a matter of time before whatever got Mitsuri and Iguro come for us!”

“(Y/n), wait—“ Shinobu tried to calm them, but they just kept spiraling.

“Why did I agree to this? I should have left the second you took out that ouija board, but no! I stayed just so I could spend more time with you and now we’re gonna be murdered by a demon serial killer ghost before I could finally work up the courage to ask you out!”

“(Y/n)!” Shinobu tried again, speaking a bit sharper this time, forcing (Y/n) to look at her and hoping to calm them with her attentions. “Hey, we’re going to be alright. You’re alright. Listen to me, okay? I set this all up.”

“Huh?” (Y/n) weakly croaked.

“I messed with the ouija board. We weren’t really communicating with anything. I planned for us to split off into groups. We heard Mitsuri scream because—“

“Who’s ready to die!?” A loud maniacal laugh sounded behind them and a chainsaw roared to life.

(Y/n) screamed, otherwise paralyzed in Shinobu’s embrace. Their head tucked under Shinobu’s with their cheek pressed snugly against her chest as they waited for the chainsaw blade to tear through their skin.

“Sanemi, turn that off right now! Stop, damn you!” Shinobu yelled over the noise.

“Okay, okay!” the false murderer, Sanemi, turned off the whirring blade with a tisk. “I was only following your own instructions, Kochou. Why are you looking at me like I was really gonna... oh damn, are they okay?” Sanemi winced, gesturing at (Y/n) quivering in Shinobu’s arms like a leaf.

“Do they look okay to you?” Shinobu huffed, more angry at herself than Sanemi. She continued rubbing at (Y/n)’s back, trying to coax them out of their tight ball while Sanemi stood by awkwardly at the side, rubbing his neck and looking into the woods.

“I’ll uh, gather everybody up and take ‘em back to camp.” Sanemi eventually spoke up. “You have things all under control here?”

“Yes, please go. Thank you Sanemi.” Shinobu shooed him off, not even looking away from (Y/n) as she did so. As Sanemi lumbered back into the forest Shinobu continued to help (Y/n) calm down.

“It’ll be okay, you’ll be alright. I’m so sorry. It’s all over now. It’s just you and me and I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.” Shinobu promised. “Can you look at me (Y/n), please?”

Ever so slowly, (Y/n) pulled back. They were still visibly shaken and meek which pulled heavily on Shinobu’s heart.

“I’m sorry.” (Y/n) shuddered, closing in on themself as they looked away from Shinobu, “I ruined your event.”

“Hey, you didn’t ruin anything.” Shinobu spoke in a no-nonsense tone. “I should have noticed you weren’t having a good time.”

“I was having a good time at first. I just really wanted to spend time with you, I thought I could handle it.”

“You can spend time with me whenever you want; all you need to do is ask.” Shinobu smiled softly. “And if anything makes you uncomfortable I want you to tell me right away, okay?”

“Okay,” (Y/n) sniffed.

“I think we’ve spent enough time in the woods tonight.” Shinobu stood, holding her hand out for (Y/n) to take.

“Yeah,” (Y/n) chuckled weakly, accepting the hand and rising to their feet. Shinobu kept her hold on them as she picked up the lantern and guided (Y/n) back to the cabins.

Once they reached the clearing, the other counselors involved in the night’s festivities surrounded them, making sure everything was alright. Mitsuri gave (Y/n) a long, comforting hug while Kyoujirou squeezed their shoulder warmly. Tengen and Iguro shared a few kind sentiments and Sanemi grumbled out a sincere apology for scaring them so badly.

As everyone was turning in to their bunks for the night, Shinobu stopped in front of (Y/n)’s bunk as they were pulling back the covers, waving Tengen’s contraband DVD player in her hand.

“Hey, so, I figured you might have a hard time sleeping tonight. Would you want to watch a movie with me?” She asked.

“Yeah, I think that would help a lot. As long as it’s not horror anyway.” (Y/n) added.

“No, I’ve learned my lesson,” Shinobu shook her head making herself at home in (Y/n)’s bunk as she untangled the ear buds, “a romantic comedy is just about as far from horror as one can get I think.”

(Y/n) tried to give Shinobu her own space, but the small bunk didn’t leave much room for that and Shinobu didn’t seem interested in preserving her personal space anyway. Instead pulling (Y/n) to rest against her side after she set everything up.

“Are you comfortable?” She asked, finger poised over the play button.

“Yeah,” (Y/n) nodded against her shoulder, “thanks.”

“Of course.” Shinobu nodded, pressing play.

As the movie played they quietly made fun of it together and commented on the events as they transpired. Once earning Tengen’s wrath for laughing a little too loud while the rest were trying to sleep.

“You know,” (Y/n) whispered during one of the lulls in the story, “if you wanted to watch a horror movie with me some other time I think I could do it if you stayed by my side like this.” They bashfully admitted.

“Well, there is one coming out that I’d like to see this fall...” Shinobu informed with a teasing smile and (Y/n) scoffed lightly.

“I don’t like how quickly you came up with a plan, but I’ll look forward to it.” They said.

“Hey, it’s still a ways off. I hope to have several tamer dates between now and then.” Shinobu casually dropped.

“You do?” (Y/n)’s face grew warm, “With me?” They added just in case, making Shinobu giggle and nod her head.

“Yes, with you. So think of what you want to do for our next free day.”

(Y/n) grinned and snuggled further into Shinobu’s side.

Eventually they fell asleep while Shinobu’s fingers lightly scratched the back of their neck. She turned off the movie and carefully set the DVD player on the floor below. Then she curled up against (Y/n) and fell asleep as well.

[rosequart]

i compiled a bunch of direct quotes about pink diamond/rose quartz from the newest artbook, end of an era. some of these quotes are taken from charts and scribbled notes, so the sentence structure might be weird.

let me know if there are any typos/missing information you think i could add!

quotes from rebecca sugar: on pink diamond/rose quartz

Pink Diamond is so sure that she’s powerless, but she’s actually profoundly powerful, so much so that she devastates people’s lives without understanding it because she thinks that she has no real power or sway.

The thing that she really lacks is balance, any ability to temper her extremes. This is part of her character throughout her forms: she’s always very extreme. 

Pink fits into those older tropes, too: the restless princess, the little Winsor McCay clown.

Pink is pure want. Impulse, desire—she’s infectious. She is the flip side of White; she can bring out a Gem’s hidden personality—their deepest wants. This isn’t necessarily a Diamond power (she has a handful of Diamond powers both destructive and constructive), but she has this power in a very human sense. She is an enabler and very manipulative when it comes to getting what she wants, so when what she wants is to get closer to someone, her intensity, and her sincerity, opens them up and draws them in.

White and Pink were always clashing. The Diamond body repressed Pink’s wants, as directed by White, the self-critical conscience. Pink’s shield made it impossible for White to override Pink’s identity, so she had to find other ways to repress her.

Episodes like Bismuth make much more sense when you know that Rose is Pink, and even more sense when you understand how poorly Pink treated friends who became inconvenient.

Rose is tracked carefully through the entire show. She makes sense once you know she is her own worst enemy. She dreams, achingly, that she could become compassionate, because she’s sure she’s incapable of compassion. Her lack of respect for herself makes it impossible for her to respect everyone closest to her. She reveres them instead, because they are better than she could ever be, and that reverence is so honest and intoxicating that it draws everyone closer to her, without them understanding the deep self-hatred that pull is coming from.

She couldn’t stand herself; self-destruction is a huge theme throughout the show—the struggle of the feeling that you shouldn’t exist, and what that can do to a person. A lot of the themes of the show exist within Rose, like her inability to be honest with other people or herself about what she’s done. She’s so deeply ashamed of herself and her past, with very good reason. The truth is that the people in her life would be so much more understanding than she believes they will be. The contempt that she has for herself gets turned outward as contempt for other people when she can’t trust them. When she can’t trust herself, she can’t trust other people, and it makes it impossible for her to be close with anyone. It makes life extremely difficult for her. It makes living difficult for her.

Rose wants [honesty and trust and being able to grow and change] so badly, but she can’t really accomplish any of that until she accepts herself—and she never does.

quotes from rebecca sugar: on rose and greg

Rose and Greg have a very specific relationship. They parallel each other: Greg left his unsupportive family to follow his dreams. He changes his name and begins living as his stage persona...He invents himself.

Rose is instantly interested in Greg; he’s so human, sweet and funny and pliable. But as they get a little deeper into their relationship, Greg starts to realize how alien she actually is. She objectifies him, she laughs at him...she can’t seem to relate to him or pick up on how he’s feeling. They have a physical relationship, but they’ve never had a meaningful conversation. He starts to feel used. So he challenges her in a way she’s never been challenged before: he asks her to treat him like an equal. This is huge for her. She’s always been less than the other Diamonds and more than everyone else. She opens up to him in a real way, and over time she’s ready to confess everything to him. But he understands what it is to run away from home and reinvent yourself. He doesn’t need her old name and he’s not going to drag her through whatever it was she ran from; as far as he’s concerned, her old self isn’t the real her anyway. The real her is her in the present, the person she decided to be. [...] This is an incredible relief for her! With him, she can live authentically in the moment...They both can, but on the flip side, they enable each other. She never unpacks what scares her about her past, and neither does he.

They really wanted to have a child [...] It’s something they are genuinely excited about. And that’s something that’s left a little open-ended—just how selfish it was for Rose to do this knowing that she would disappear. What Rose is doing is outrageously selfless and outrageously selfish at the same time, and you can really read it both ways and neither is untrue.

chart notes: on pink diamond/rose quartz

Pink learns to keep secrets. She tells her new Pearl to keep them too. (She puts on an act. Behaves better.) She doesn’t trust herself...keeps asking her Pearl what to do...

The Game: Rose plays Batman on the ground. (Pearl is Robin and Alfred.) Pink tries to use Rose as an excuse to call off the invasion. This backfires when Blue and Yellow send in reinforcements.

Rose finds herself the head of a family. Determined to be everything White was not—she is close with everyone, flexible in everything. Love & fun are the rule—and there are no rules—and everyone is the most special!

chart notes: on rose and the crystal gems

Pink keeps asking Pearl what she thinks. Pearl understands she should have no opinions, and should follow orders. She is caught in a paradox. Her head swims. She laughs—feels scared—what is this?

Pearl is falling in love. Pink, as Rose, is intoxicating. She’s free somehow. They both are, when they’re on Earth.

Rose falls in love with Pearl’s surprising boldness that comes out of left field—!

Pearl and Rose start fusing a lot.

Pearl and Rose—the dust clears, revealing an endless honeymoon. Pink is gone and Pearl is free—free to love Rose.

Garnet trusts Rose, respects her secrets. She sees in Rose a self-made gem, a quartz that transcended her station out of sheer will and the power of self-love. Garnet loves Rose and her mystery, the way she learns to love & embrace the mystery of herself. Rose is her rock and inspiration.

Rose teaches Amethyst: you can be anything you want to be! Huge advocate of shapeshifting, self-expression, anarchy—however, Amethyst can sense shame from Rose and Pearl over the Kindergarten.

chart notes: on rose and the crystal gems, post-pink diamond reveal

Amethyst finally understands Rose: wanting her to shapeshift, not feel obligated to be a quartz, suddenly feels sympathy...kinship. It wasn’t Amethyst being inspired by Rose—Rose was inspired by them!

Garnet shocked: Rose taught her to love herself. If that was a lie—if Pink Diamond was self-hating, and wanted to disappear—than what does that mean for Garnet? No—it wasn’t Garnet being inspired by Rose—Rose was inspired by them!

Pearl is finally released—but, a rift—! Garnet feels betrayed! But, Pink did change! Pink did grow! Rose was different! That’s why Pearl was inspired by Rose—or, wait—Rose was inspired by them!

chart notes: on pink and the other diamonds

Pink, the littlest diamond, is largely ignored by Yellow, Blue, and White. Her silly impulses and eccentricities are not particularly helpful to the other diamonds in their endeavors. No one wants to play with her. Pink desperately wants White’s attention and approval (she will never get it).

Pink’s [original] Pearl is the only one who sees how much this upsets Pink. Pink is bright in front of Yellow, Blue, White—but when they don’t have time for her, she privately takes it hard.

Noticing Pink’s behavior, Yellow and Blue think she should have her own colony. White insists—she hasn’t really changed. She’ll never change. She gives Pink a colony—if only to prove Pink will fail.

White knows Pink is out there. This expensive, embarrassing tantrum is not worth her attention. Pink will come groveling back when she’s done running away from home.

Yellow and Blue are relieved to have Pink back—but White is vindicated. I knew you’d be back, your silly game is over—get back in place.

Steven gets Yellow and Blue to understand who he is now. But White won’t have it [...] In an ultimate act of self love, Steven fuses with himself, as White realizes—she can be wrong, and she’s truly lost her ‘daughter’.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

After reading your opinion on Molly Weasley, i want to know: What are you're opinions on the Weasley family? Besides Ron & Molly that is.

Five characters? In one post? Well, alright, here we go.

The Weasleys as a Whole

I’ve mentioned this before but JKR writes the Weasleys to clearly be a believable but ideal family. They’re all fiercely loyal, progressive per wizarding world standards, love each other and Harry deeply, and have this wonderful off-kilter joyous house where there’s always some rambunctious thing going on. 

Harry comes to associate the Weasleys with family and, personally, I believe a large part of him marrying Ginny boils down to it will make him a Weasley for real. 

That said, they’ve got some major issues. They’re very righteous people who, as a whole, will ice you out the moment they even suspect you do something that disagrees with them. You don’t even have to do it, what you did or didn’t do doesn’t even have to be something terrible or something bad, but god help you if the family decides they’re done with you. 

They’re very resentful of people like the Malfoys. This isn’t just because Lucius is a smarmy, pompous, ass (he is) or that he indirectly almost murdered Ginny but seems to mostly be because Lucius has so much money. All of their interactions seem to boil down to the money. More than this though, the Weasleys seem fully supportive of laws that... well, used against themselves would be a travesty but used against the likes of the Malfoys it’s about damn time.

They’re unquestioningly loyal to Dumbledore. Granted, most people we see in canon are, Dumbledore’s very very very good at convincing people he’s a saint. However, these guys are practically his cult member to the point where they do things like refuse to have Harry over the summer, even before Voldemort returned, because Dumbledore told them not to. 

They also never really adopt Harry into the family. Oh they give him a nice sweater, he comes over every once in a while to the house, he’s very good friends with Ron but he’s mostly treated just like that, a good friend. Now, there’s nothing wrong with this, except the way JKR sets it up we’re supposed to believe this is the family Harry found. It’s just that the family Harry’s found let’s him stay in a house with bars on his window where twelve-year-old Ron tells them, “Harry’s muggle family is really really awful” in a way that should have been raising red flags. Hermione practically lives at the Weasleys, Harry never does.

Now, are the Weasleys evil? No, far from it, they’re ordinary people who act in ways I’d expect ordinary people too. Technically they didn’t have to do anything more for Harry than they did, they didn’t have to hate Lucius Malfoy for better reasons, and they don’t have to be even slightly less worshipful of Dumbledore. They’re people, and they’re fine characters, but the overwhelming worship and love of the Weasleys we see across fandom does get on my nerves.

But you asked for individuals, so here we go.

 Arthur Weasley

Arthur is the epitome of “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” in the worst of ways and is, frankly, a giant awful joke to me. He’s the white kid you see going around with dread locks, a beanie the color of the Jamaican flag, smoking weed, and attempting to speak like Bob Marley 

Only, because he does it with muggle things, we’re supposed to find him funny and progressive.

Arthur is absolutely, albeit unwittingly, condescending in his love of muggle knickknacks. He has no idea how any of it actually works, not limited to how muggles could possible survive without the gold standard, but ardently believes he does because he can enchant the car to fly. Seriously, that he believes he’s an expert on muggle culture, as a pureblood wizard who heads an office in the ministry on it, is the worst part. His love of toasters comes across as, “Wow, look how cool it is that these poor little muggles made all this neat stuff. We should absolutely love the muggles because of it!” And that he heads an office in the ministry called “The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts” which is all about catching down Jackass style pranksters who think it would be hilarious of they enchanted toasters to bludgeon muggles to death...

Goddammit Arthur, why do you exist?

Right, otherwise, he’s got some pride issues going on. Part of the reason Percy is excommunicated is not so much that Percy doesn’t believe Harry, but because Percy dared to do better than Arthur in his own career. Arthur is stuck in his position as head of a joke of a department, he is an underling at its finest, and frankly likely only has that position because he’s a pureblood and the idea of putting a halfblood or even muggleborn at the head of a department dealing with muggles just made the higher ups shudder. (Don’t tell Arthur that though, he likes to think he’s not benefitting from nepotism). 

Arthur goes so far to accuse Percy as Fudge’s secretary as spying on him. Arthur, the guy who heads “Misuse of Muggle Artifacts”. Yeah, Arthur, I’m sure Fudge is really wasting his time using his straight laced secretary to find out all your dirty secrets. 

He also tends to see the world as very black and white. When Skeeter in book 4 writes an article after the Quidditch World Cup disaster complaining about the ministry’s lax security in enabling domestic terrorists to enter (something completely valid and true by the way) Arthur is so personally offended that both he and Percy go straight to the ministry to complain about Rita Skeeter and her daring to assume freedom of speech! HOW DARE SHE CALL THE MINISTRY’S NON-EXISTENT SECURITY AT THE WORLD CUP LAX! (To be fair, she also cited Arthur as having been in attendance at the event, a ministry employee, and having done nothing but, well, this is also true Arthur. You’re in a guerilla, underground, resistance movement. If I didn’t already think the Order was a joke this would kind of highlight it for me).

He’s also very resentful of Lucius Malfoy, and it seems to mostly be about the money. Arthur and Molly have a severe spending problem and actively resent that Lucius is swimming in money. That Arthur is ardently pleased about a law being passed in which the ministry without warrant can ransack Lucius Malfoy’s home... 

Well, Arthur, imagine the slippery slope if the government decides that it would like to search the Weasley home without warrant? In fact, he doesn’t even have to imagine it, as the beloved government in a few short years turns against him and then it’s all about how corrupt the ministry is. 

Arthur’s delightfully narrowminded, basically, and reminds us at nearly every opportunity.

Percy Weasley

Mostly, I just feel bad for Percy. Percy’s the son/brother that nobody likes and he’s painfully aware of that fact. He doesn’t fit in with the others, he has far too much ambition for the Gryffindor family and they resent him for it, and then he dares to say things like “I don’t know guys, Voldemort resurrecting from the dead after decades doesn’t sound plausible, we know Harry’s a little off kilter, and Dumbledore’s one shady dude”. Percy happens to be wrong about Voldemort resurrecting (and admits as much when the evidence is plainly visible), but he’s pretty on the money with the rest of it.

Regardless, growing up we see Ron constantly hating on Percy along with the rest of the siblings. I’m sure Percy is obnoxious, and certainly full of himself after making prefect and head boy, but he’s very clearly even before Order of the Phoenix the Least Favorite Brother (TM).

Then the Weasley family completely ices him out for a) getting a very high ranking position very quickly as Fudge’s secretary and b) not being gung ho about Dumbledore saying crazy things in the paper. Remember that to Percy Harry is Ron’s weird friend who seems to get into highly illegal activities every other week. From Percy’s point of view, it’s probably a matter of time before Harry becomes a crack head in Knockturn Alley (or given how behind the times wizards tend to be, an opium den). 

He’s constantly getting Ron into not only trouble but life threatening situations, is erratic and apparently a parseltongue of all things, and now Harry’s flipped his lid and saying that Voldemort has been resurrected after having gone through a very traumatic experience of watching a classmate somehow die. 

While we see Percy kind of (sort of)  make up with the family it’s clear that for Percy to have any relation with these people he’s the one who will always, ALWAYS, have to come crawling back on his knees and begging for forgiveness. It’s the Weasley way or the highway and I imagine, at some point probably a little after/during that epilogue, Percy will just slowly drift away because it’s just not worth it anymore.

Percy’s very much the black sheep of the family.

Fred and George Weasley

You all are going to kill me, but I actually don’t care in the slightest about Fred and George Weasley. This is because they basically have no personality aside from “funny”. 

They just have their weird, tandem, twin act and are either playing jokes on the school or else serving as Deus ex Machina in giving Harry magical items such as the Marauder’s Map for no apparent reason. The plot told them it was time, I guess. 

Their jokes, while not as bad as Sirius and James’ “Let’s sexually harrass Severus Snape by pantsing and beating him at the edge of Hogwarts lake” or Sirius’ “Let’s get Snape eaten by a werewolf!” are still often needlessly cruel and... kind of pointless. They harass Slytherin house constantly just because they happen to be Slytherins, they’re acceptable victims (which of course makes house tension that much worse). Harry gets sent a toilet seat in the hospital because... that’s funny? Har de har? 

They’re so indistinguishable from one another I routinely see people mistake which one got his ear chopped off and which one died. Because the point is, that we can’t tell the difference! It doesn’t matter who lived and who died because all we know is that Freorge is dead! 

Similarly, you see tons of fics around where character of the day ends up in this weird twincestuous relationship with Fred and George and it’s not only for a) that delightful twincest but b) because they’re such a singular unit that any attempt to pair one with somebody else feels weird. So you just get these porn fics about Fred and George being weird rapey teenagers who seem like they’d be more interested dating each other. 

Charlie Weasley

I really have no thoughts on Charlie. He raises dragons in Romania, the family loves him. Now, dragon raising feels like one of the most dangerous jobs in the Harry Potter universe, like Charlie had just gone and signed up to be a lumberjack but he seems to like it?

We really don’t see much of Charlie, he’s just the obligatory older Weasley son so that the Weasleys can be this ridiculously large family.

Bill Weasley

We see slightly more of Bill, but again, not enough to really leave an impression. We know that his marrying Fleur sent Molly into a complete state, and that they’re going to have awkward Christmas dinners forever because of it where Fleur just sits there and pretends not to loathe every second of Molly’s presence while Molly notes how bad it is that Victoire got stuck with that ugly pink hair instead of the Weasley red. 

Bill doesn’t seem to really do anything about this. He still marries Fleur, but we don’t really see a major confrontation where he tells the family “Look, I’m marrying her, so grow up.” So, I imagine he just tries to smile pleasantly and tells Fleur to just endure it for another few hours. He loves his family, his family’s great, but they only have to see Fleur once a year at Christmas.

Ginny Weasley

Ginny is weird. She’s this weird, frankly, almost personality-less void whose sole obsession in life seems to be marrying Harry. She and Harry end up in the world’s weirdest relationship and I honestly have no idea how people ship it other than canon told them to.

Ginny’s... well, first off, she’s very much in love with an idea. She had always worshipped Harry Potter but then he personally saves her life in what was a horrifically traumatic year and so that feeling just grows even more. Despite being Ron’s sister, she barely seems to know Harry, and everything she seems to like about it are just things she made up.

I imagine her and Harry’s marriage will be littered with affairs on her end. Not divorce though, because Harry would never admit his wife is having affairs on him all the time even if someone directly confronted him. Harry also won’t admit he’s gay. 

More than though we get hints of a personality. Ginny’s a fiery red-head tomboy with a temper. But... Well, it’s only ever hints. She never felt like a real person to me. She has I think one throwaway line about the Chamber of Secrets incident and how it personally affected her. We’re told she’s great at the bat boogey hex so we know she’s a fiery independent woman.

She feels more like a character sheet than an actual person. 

Whenever she’s around I always had this nagging question in my head where I ask why Ginny’s here. She has a lot of potential but nothing’s ever done with her. And when something is, it’s to get her into this bizarre relationship with Harry where he imagines there’s a green rage monster in his chest that loves her skin.

Okay Harry, if you say so. 

TL;DR: The Weasleys aren’t evil or anything, I’m not on Team Bash Them All, but they are shortsighted, ordinary, people who don’t deserve to be worshipped as all that is good in this world.

[theartofdreaming1]

Here is my attempt at portraying Peeta’s camouflage skills convincingly 😅😅

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 19-21 are below the cut.

heart

While I love all the banter between Katniss and Peeta, I think my favorite of these three chapters is: “Trust me. Killing things is much easier than this,” I say. “Although for all I know, I am killing you.” “Can you speed it up a little?” he asks. “No. Shut up and eat your pears,” I say. A classic 😄

mind

I always imagined that Cato went after Thresh before coming for Katniss and Peeta because a) Thresh took the backpack for District 2 (which contained the body armor that would make dealing with Katniss’s arrow so much easier) and b) Thresh killed Clove and Cato wanted to avenge her... Although I have no idea how Cato ended up killing Thresh... he was doing pretty well for himself in his grass-y area... Maybe the Gamemakers wanted to punish Thresh for not killing Katniss and generated that thunderstorm and rain to force Thresh out of his refuge, which would give Cato a fair chance to kill him, I guess...

soul

Lol, honestly, since Peeta just generally seems to be motivated by kindness and love/caring, I don’t think it took much for him to keep the star-crossed lovers angle alive (I could easily imagine him actually noticing Katniss in the willow tree early in the Games and offering to take care of the District 8 girl, so the Careers would get the hell out of there, away from Katniss)

Chapter 19:

Peeta, who’s been wounded, is now my ally. [...] I’d loathe any tribute who didn’t immediately ally with their district partner. Besides, it just makes sense to protect each other. - Honestly, this just highlights what a kind person Katniss is, despite her aloof front; her innermost instinct is always to stick together and to protect. Because it doesn’t really make sense for her to team up with Peeta - she knows he’s wounded and won’t be of much help to her, her chances of survival are way better if she stayed on her own, but it’s not something she’d ever consider now that they are allowed to form a team (and only then does she even factor in the whole ‘star-crossed lovers of district 12′ -angle)

Peeta, it turns out, has never been a danger to me. The thought makes me smile. - Aww 😊 (but also, how heart-breaking that the Capitol will do everything in their power to change that, to make Peeta become a danger to Katniss 😢)

He’s very hard to predict, which might be interesting under different circumstances - Okay, but this just makes me think of that exchange in Gilmore Girls when Paris and Rory talk about how you know a guy is right for you:  “Someone who’s compatible but not compatible.” “Yeah, kind of. I mean, you respect each other’s opinions and you can laugh at the same jokes, but I don’t know – there’s just something about not quite knowing what the other person’s gonna do at all times that’s just really exciting.” - fits these two to a T 😏

In fact, I’ve just about decided I’m on the wrong track entirely, that a wounded boy would be unable to navigate getting to and from this water source, when I see the bloody streak - Okay, but how flipping tough is Peeta?! He’s severely injured, with multiple tracker jacker stings and he drags himself to this terrain that is almost impossible to navigate for someone in his condition - a sturdy dandelion, indeed!

“You’re here to finish me off, sweetheart?” - What an entrance after having gone AWOL for quite a couple of chapters 👌🏼👏🏼

“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.” I jerk my head back but end up laughing. “Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.” [...] “Katniss?” Peeta says. I meet his eyes, knowing my face must be some shade of green. He mouths the words “How about that kiss?” I burst out laughing - He’s lying in a river bed, slowly dying, and he can still make her laugh 😊

“You know, you’re kind of squeamish for such a lethal person” - It’s such a small comment, but I can’t help but think that Peeta is just kind of intrigued to discover all these little idiosyncrasies that make up the ever-elusive Katniss Everdeen ;)

Impulsively, I lean forward and kiss him, stopping his words. -  Aww, she doesn’t even want to consider him dying, so she spontaneously decides to cut him off with a kiss👀👀 Honestly, at this point Peeta has elicited 2 (!) spontaneous kisses  (the kiss after the chariot ride and this one) from Katniss, who generally isn’t that big on touching people

“You’re not going to die. I forbid it. All right?” - Stubborn, protective Katniss... But also reminds me of their rooftop “date” in CF and the “Then you’ll allow it?” “I’ll allow it” - exchange

I kiss him awake, which seems to startle him. Then he smiles as if he’d be happy to lie there gazing at me forever. He’s great at this stuff. - KaTNisSs, gurl... 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Chapter 20:

But I knew he was injured. And still I came after him. I’m just going to have to trust whatever instinct sent me to find him was a good one. - The very best of instincts, Katniss, don’t you worry😉

Peeta’s struggling to get up when I reach the cave. “I woke up and you were gone,” he says, “I was worried about you.” - Gah, why are the both of them so good?! They just care for and worry about each other 24/7

“How do you feel?” “Better than yesterday. This is an enormous improvement over the mud,” he says. “Clean clothes and medicine and a sleeping bag... and you.” Oh right, the whole romance thing. - Oh Katniss...😐 I reach out to touch his cheek and he catches my hand and presses it against his lips. I remember my father doing this very thing to my mother and I wonder where Peeta picked it up. - Where did Peeta pick this up? From a time his family was less dysfunctional? Observing couples in the town square? Or is he a fricking disney prince and these things come natural to him? Questions, questions...

“You didn’t sleep,” Peeta says. “I’m all right,” I say. But the truth is, I’m exhausted. “Sleep now. I’ll keep watch.” [...] I test his cheek. Hot as a coal stove. He claims he’s been drinking, but the containers still feel full to me. I give him more fever pills and stand over him while he drinks first one, then a second quart of water. - These two are just too stubborn to take proper care of themselves - good thing that each of them is adamant to force the other to sleep/drink/eat when necessary

“Besides I like watching you sleep. You don’t scowl. Improves your looks a lot.” - When presented with the choice of being flirty vs being a cheeky little shit, Peeta will choose being a flirty cheeky little shit every time 😂

“I’m going to make soup,” I say. “Don’t light a fire,” he says. “It’s not worth it.” - Okay, but what he’s actually saying is “I’m not worth it” 😭😭

Katniss telling that story about buying Prim’s goat😊... A young buck, probably a yearling by his size. His antlers were just growing in, still small and coated in velvet. [...] Beautiful. - We are all very much aware of Peeta’s appreciation for beauty, but the same does apply to Katniss, too (she’s just overall more pragmatic)

“Was it [the goat] still wearing the pink ribbon?″ he asks. “I think so,” I say. “Why?” “I’m just trying to get a picture,” he says thoughtfully. -  Peeta is so detail-oriented! I have this theory that this is actually something that enables him to overcome his hijacking; we catch glimpses in MJ of how he inches himself out of his condition by asking/focusing on small details or things most people would dismiss as trivial (Katniss’s favorite color, the color of her dress visiting District 7, her Dad singing the Hanging Tree when Peeta was 6 or 7 years old...) and I feel like it makes a lot of sense - his tormentors in the Capitol either wouldn’t have access to distort these moments or not even consider them to have any significance (since they are all about big, flashy gestures in the Capitol), so these memories would remain untouched. Luckily, Peeta seems to live by Robert Brault’s words: “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. “

“Really? What did you cost me again?” I ask. “A lot of trouble. Don’t worry. You’ll get it all back,” he says. - Well, he’s going to cost her a lot more trouble in the future - but we know he’s going to make up for it and bring her much happiness, too 😊

“You’re not risking your life for me.” “Who said I was?” I say. [...] “Of course I’m not going.” [...] “You’re such a bad liar, Karniss.” [...] Anger flushes my face. “All right, I am going, and you can’t stop me!” “I can follow you. At least partway. I may not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I’m yelling your name I bet someone can find me. And then I’ll be dead for sure,” he says. - Soo.. their love language is offering to sacrifice their life like it’s nothing, huh?! 😳😅 

Peeta eats without complaint, even scraping out the pot to show his enthusiasm. He rambles on about how delicious it is, - lol, sounds like a husband trying to get back on his wife’s good side after they had a row 😂

I clamp my hand over his mouth and nose hard, forcing him to swallow instead of spit. He tries to make himself vomit the stuff up, but it’s too late, he’s already losing consciousness. - Ah, the most important indicator of true love: having person A force-feed person B a sedative so they can run off to get them life-saving medicine ;)

Chapter 21:

I lie next to Peeta in the bag, trying to absorb every bit of his fever heat. It’s strange to be so physically close to someone who’s so distant. Peeta might as well be back in the Capitol, - Reminds me how in MJ she’s going to be so close to Peeta (mentally/emotionally) while he will be physically so distant (in the Capitol!)

a tiny orange one [backpack] [...] that must be marked with a 12 - Interesting how that backpack is orange, huh? Why is that? Are smaller backpacks generally orange (like the one Katniss already has) to be more visible or is this simply to connect the backpack to Peeta (though we don’t know his favorite color at this point)? Do the Gamemakers care whether Katniss gets a matching backpack? It just seems like an unnecessary detail to throw in🤔

The table has just clicked into place when a figure darts out of the Cornucopia, snags the green backpack, and speeds off. Foxface! - Honestly, this was a truly brilliant move; kudos! 👏🏼

[Clove] carefully selects an almost dainty-looking number [knife] with a cruel, curved blade. “I promised Cato if he let me have you, I’d give the audience a good show.” [...] “I think...” she almost purrs. “I think we’ll start with your mouth.” [...] she teasingly traces the outline of my lips with the tip of the blade. - Okay, but the idea of Clove cutting off Katniss’s lips is just all kinds of terrifying and disturbing 😨

“No! No, I-” Clove sees the stone, about the size of a small loaf of bread in Thresh’s hand [...] Thresh brings the rock down hard against Clove’s temple. [...] and I know she’s a goner. - Interesting how Katniss describes that rock that basically saves her life (or at least kills her assailant) as bread-sized, huh? “Your district... they sent me bread. [...] Conflicting emotions cross Thresh’s face. He lowers the rock and points at me, almost accusingly. “Just this one time, I let you go. For the little girl.” - Katniss mentions the bread from District 11 as a proof of her alliance with Rue (and the recognition of D11) and Thresh spares her; bread keeps saving her life (while it keeps representing acts of kindness)

Cato kneels beside Clove, spear in hand, begging her to stay with him. - I appreciate this small, humanizing moment with Cato

The last thing I remember is an exquisitely beautiful green and silver moth landing on the curve of my wrist. - I don’t know much about North American insects (not that I know that much about European insects either - just recently came across a relatively rare moth on my walks that I had never seen or heard of before) - is Katniss describing a special/noteworthy species of moth? Or is this a more literary symbolism kind of moth? (Just looked up some symbolism meaning of moths: change/transformation, seeking light; power of regeneration in some Native American mythology, hmm...)