#we can’t solve toxic masculinity without completely transforming society

[boof-chamber]

toxic masculinity

that shit’s exhausting and infuriating and scary and there is no end in sight - seems like we gotta be fit and agile street fighters, have expert marksmanship, highly developed senses and 6th senses and 7th senses and also an acute sense of awareness of our surroundings and self-awareness and also an acute sense of perception of other people’s intentions and moods and feelings and we should also be armed with information about people’s backgrounds and patterns of behavior and also use sound judgement at all times so that we can take appropriate action to prevent harm from coming to us because it’s nobody else’s responsibility to look out for us, how entitled one would be to expect anyone to intervene who isn’t even legally obligated to, and as it turns out, no one is.

we could have all of this going for us and still end up dealing with the consequences of some toxic dude’s massive sense of entitlement or overinflated ego or feelings of inadequacy or power/control issues or the absolutely crushing and inescapable aloneness that overwhelms him as a man conditioned to destroy his own humanness and anything that resembles it.

and what do we expect of him? we expect him to “get therapy.” suddenly therapists fix people. suddenly therapy is easy to get. suddenly therapy is something other than what we know it to be. all they have to do is get therapy and toxic masculinity will be solved and we won’t have to do anything differently. we won’t have to learn anything or unlearn anything or grow or develop or transform ourselves or our communities or society - when the therapists fix them, everything will change and we won’t have to do anything differently